#on a more srs note I am worried abt him | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

churipu · 11 months ago

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I love you so so much omg ur posts, ur content, un vibe everything. you’re so so nice and yet you have me crying over every single post because of how good this is. Like yesterday i had a whole debate talking to myself abt how good of a person you were and how the likes were not doing you justice.. usually I never send requests mostly because i’m scared they take a look at it and be like “you cannot be srs”. Idk if it makes sense but oh well😭😭

can i request u make a scenario where the reader is insecure and worried their partner is going to leave them for someone prettier but they dont say anything and just start to distance themselves from them from how big of a toll it was taking on the reader? thank you sm😭🫶🏽

YOU BEING INSECURE + JJK MEN

featuring. gojo satoru, nanami kento, sukuna ryomen x reader

warning. cursing

note. ANON YOU'RE SO SWEET OMG BRB SOBBING HAVE ABIG FAT KISS, and i love this request so much, you don't have to worry <33 thank you for requesting my love, sorry it took so long :')

GOJO SATORU. even if gojo didn't seem like the type to be aware of his surroundings — he is very much aware. behind those blindfolds and dark glasses, his eyes darts everywhere, making sure everything is fine. even if one small thing is different to his eyes, he'll notice.

so when you began distancing yourself from him, he notices off the bat. but decided to say nothing just to make sure of it, gojo did not want to jump into conclusions. it started off as you telling him that you're busy to go on dates, or even declining his offers when he wanted to come over to your place.

he didn't think much of it until it visibly worsened, you looked miserable. when he sees you, it was like the shine in your eyes have gone away — gojo didn't know what happened, but he automatically assumed that he was behind the disappearance of it. when he asks you if you were okay, you brushed him off with a forced out smile, and he was dying to push you to just tell him everything.

but he didn't. he was afraid that if he'd push you, it would spiral an argument. for a while, he was walking on eggshells around you, you were like a ticking time bomb ready to blow up at any minute.

it was gnawing internally in gojo's mind, what did he do? what happened to you? what happened to y/n?

his y/n.

so when shoko drops the bomb on him, asking if he had broken up with you. gojo was mortified, is that what it looks like to other people? him and you calling it off? he was terrified, scared, nervous. the strongest sorcerer. yeah — he was scared.

and so he felt like it was a now or never situation.

"y/n, can we talk?"

you grimaced at his soft voice, wondering if this is the part where he's had enough and decided he'd leave you. but you nodded your head, your mind was ready, you were ready to hear it, those words: "i want to break up with you."

"please talk to me. i can't do this whole...you avoiding me, tell me what's bothering you...please." the desperation in his voice was visible, almost as if he was in the verge of tears.

his cerulean eyes were filled with such hopelessness, one you've never seen even when he was fighting a curse. you widened your eyes and inhaled sharply, "i...i'm sorry, satoru."

that was all you managed to muster up and gojo was clueless, he needed more answers, he needed answers to why you were like this, "baby, i don't... is it me? did i do anything wrong to you? please tell me, don't run away.. let me make it up to you."

it pained you to see that he thinks it was him, when it was you behind this. you shook your head, "'s not you 'ts me."

and that made gojo even more terrified than he already is, a lot of questions spiraling in his mind, did you find someone else? did you get bored of him? were you finally breaking up with him because of his constant bothering? so many questions.

"i just...there're so many more people prettier than i am. i just can't stop thinking about it. you leaving and all. 'm sorry i distanced myself from you." when you said that, gojo felt like half of his questions were all useless and he felt a bit relieved to finally get an answer to his speculations.

gojo wasted no time pulling you into his embrace, he needed it, you needed it. both of you needed it just as much, you felt so small in his embrace, head buried into his chest. gojo didn't move a bit, fearing if he moved at all — you'd break, you looked so fragile and so dainty, it scares him.

"i..love you so much." was all he could say,

"'ts you, 'ts you that i love. it hurts me to hear you talk like that." you felt like shit, you really do — so you said nothing back, you kept your face hidden in his chest.

and gojo didn't pry you away, he just needed to be close to you, "sorry."

that was when he pulled away, "you don't have to be sorry, but please talk to me, 'ts not fair if we're happy together and you have to be sad alone.." you hated crying in front of people, especially gojo, and he knew that about you.

so when you cried in that moment, gojo knew this wasn't something light — he didn't need any more explaining from you, he was just there by your side the whole night. and the next day. the next week. month. year. both of you never spoke of it again.

he's in love with you and nobody could change that, he thinks you're the prettiest anyways.

NANAMI KENTO. nanami's eyes are always on you. nobody else. and everyone knows that.

everyone except for you, unfortunately.

usually he comes home and you were always there to greet him, with a hug and kiss. it was an inseparable combo he made a routine, but for the past couple of days — he hasn't been getting that.

instead, he was greeted with silence. and just from the second time, he knew that something was definitely wrong with you. he'll find you curled up in bed, under the covers like it was the only thing that mattered in the world; but he tries to see it as a sign of exhaustion.

nanami watches your every move, for the past couple of days. you have been out of it. to the point where it was plain obvious and nanami tries asking about it, but you tell him it was just because of the stress. a sweetheart he is, he tries telling you to get some rest from work — he'd even excuse you if it's needed, but you tell him that wasn't needed and that you were fine.

obviously lying. he could see it, smell it, hear it.

it was suffocating. everything was suffocating to you, it's like everything was slowly masticating on every fiber in your body. you wanted to just, drop down and cry but whenever you try to, you just end up sitting on the floor blankly staring at nothing.

it scares yourself sometimes how empty your eyes look.

you wouldn't be surprised if nanami didn't come back home one day because he's so fed up — that's what you've been planting in you. that nanami would leave you for prettier people, for people who don't overthink, people who are generally better than you.

"y/n?"

oh. you didn't even hear him come home, you sat on the bedroom floor trying to push yourself up. and you couldn't even do that, so when nanami opens the bedroom door, seeing you on the floor — he said nothing, not even a hello.

nanami just scoops you into his arms and lays you down on the bed mutely, his slender fingers brushing your hair, "i love you," he murmurs quietly.

that was enough to make tears dwell up at the corner of your eyes, and he said nothing, grazing your tears away, "'m sorry. 'm so sorry, kento."

nanami didn't understand why you were apologizing, he hushed you, cradling you in his embrace as you let your tears free fall, "why are you sorry?"

that's when it struck you, why were you apologizing?

nanami didn't question you any further but he held you close, pressing chaste kisses onto your forehead, "is something in your mind?" you nodded slowly, "do you want to tell me about it?"

you nodded, inhaling sharply, "i just don't feel pretty enough...i feel like you deserve better than me, ken."

nanami laced your fingers with his, kissing your knuckles, "why do you say such things?" you didn't answer him, and it just breaks his heart even more, "you're perfect for me."

his words fall into deaf ears, but you didn't continue saying your worries, you just feel like nanami gets a gist of it. nanami didn't leave your side, cradling you in his arms like you're the most fragile being, "i love you," he kissed your forehead, "so much," and he kisses your lips.

nanami makes sure to spend every second telling you how much he loves you, telling you how beautiful you are, and how you're the most perfect for him.

SUKUNA RYOMEN. he hates it when you ignore him without any explanations, he's told you before, "if you have anything to say, say it to my face, don't ignore me."

but this feels like something you couldn't tell him, how you feel. it's obvious that you were distancing yourself from him, when he calls you, you sometimes pretend like you didn't hear him — and when he confronts you later, you tell him that you just didn't hear his calls.

"you're ignoring me, hm?"

"what? no— i just didn't hear you calling out to me."

don't even try to lie to him because he will always confront you about it, he sees right through you and your lies. the second time you try to run away from him when he calls out to you, he wastes no time holding you in place; confronting you right at that moment.

"why're you running away, brat?"

"i...oh, i didn't realize you were here, ryo." sukuna clicks his tongue in mere annoyance — what a bad actor you are, it's so ridiculous sukuna wanted to just burst out into laughter.

"bullshit. why're you avoiding me?"

that was it. you were cornered just like that. sighing, there isn't any way out unless you tell him — sukuna just won't let you go unless you tell him everything behind your recent behaviors.

"just don't feel pretty enough for you," you mutter out, avoiding his sharp gaze, "i feel like you can do much better than me. you deserve better than me."

sukuna gave you nothing but a mere smirk, pushing his lips onto yours. god, he didn't want to admit it — but he hates the way you talk shit about yourself, if he could tell you everything that he loves about you, he would. but he didn't because he's a jackass (and he's too shy to tell you that).

"that's it?" that's it? that's it?

you were about to push him away when he gives you that glare of his, "which person has been making you think like that?"

"no one. me."

he flicks your forehead, "then stop."

if only it was that easy, you grumbled at his response, and said nothing else so you could just leave. but sukuna, despite his ignorant answers always makes sure that you never run away from him anymore, he's a lot more touchy than usual — and he (tries) to compliment you and your appearance.

keyword: tries

he fails at it though. but you gave him kudos for trying, that's all that matters, really. that he makes you feel loved.

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forgottenamira · 8 months ago

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this got so long!!!!!! dsklajfkjsdfjsd ok chapters it is alksjdfkljdf

AMIRA & MOTHERHOOD

oh yeah i agree big time! edmund is def not to know abt like 90% of the things amira does, as far as he knows she just stands around looking avaguely menacing and getting embarrassed when edmund doesn't perform ;DDD no but you know that one ep of arrested development where michael is feeling really overwhelmed at work or whatever (idr the details i haven't seen it in a long time) and he goes to lucille, but when he gets back and the ppl troubling him have literally disappeared and michael is shocked (and in his case slightly horrified/freaked out hahaha) and lucille basically just tells 'mama handled everything, kiddo, don't ask too many questions,' but she's v hands off the rest of the time except when she explicitly wants him to do smth for her -- that's basically the kind of mom amira is klajsdfkljdjf

i mean, that being said, i do think she's slightly more in his life than lucille bluth hahaha i do think she hand taught him abt basic medicines and poisons and she is def the mom who like wanted her kid to do their homework quietly and then come show it to her before bed so she point out all its faults ;DD no but her intention was just to teach him. i do think she was also SUPER intense abt I AM HIS HEALER NO ONE ELSE TOUCHES MY SON except her brothers (tristan was also posted in his rom 24/7 when he was ill btw im sure etc etc) bc she didn't trust anyone else to nurse him since she knew first hand you can use that to kill someone lakjsdflkjds

side note: i do think roderick didn't esp like that bc its not dignified for a queen, and kinda supersiticious given her priestess past, but when she played on his paranoia that someone might try and kill his kid, he relented...esp bc he was probs in some other country fighting anyway and by the time he heard abt it edmund was probs out of danger anyway hahaha also, idk if anyone ~did try to poison edmund, but amira probs thinks so but it just didnt work bc she was already poisoning him, herself dlskajfskdljfjdf where's her 'best mom award' already honestly lajksdfkljsdkjf

but yeah she's not exactly soft and sweet. she was v blunt abt how he'd have to be tough as nails if he wanted to survive even when he was little and probs the sort of tell him to stop trying when he was five and had a cut or whatever laksjdfakljsdf godfrey: 'let him cry, amira, he's only a boy.' amira: 'he's not only a boy. he's a prince. and he's my son. he mustnt be seen to weep.'

AMIRA'S HEADSPACE/AMBITIONS

amira, having just poisoned her rival and thus created unwitting another one in guinevere: 'at least now i know for sure how to manipulate roderick's true affections'

honestly i think to care abt amira at all is to have complicated feelings abt her!! she's not an easy person to love hahahah i do think she knows that but i also think she's mostly like 'ppl fear strength' when actually ppl just don't like assholes alskjdflkjdsf but here we are hahahah

ooooh him not fearing losing it all would honestly kinda worry her!! that's the thing that like...motivates pr much everything she does and so i think that's super interesting that he doesn't feel the same! and honestly that makes sense bc i really don't think his uncles have the same feelings abt it so edmund can clearly see its not a universal etc plus, yeah, just everything you said i think that makes sm sense! but itd freak her out that he's 'not taking this srsly' if she knew he felt that way bc as far as she's concerned you're either terrified of that or ur not being srs -- she doesn't really feel her brothers are v srs for a similar reason, yknow? (in tristan's case tho i do think he was sheltered but anyway)

but anyway she'd be like 'hes gonna get himself killed or worse this way!' and meanwhile godfrey's like 'take a lil of ur hemlock. it'll slow ur heartrate -- maybe that'll calm you a touch' alksdjfkldsjfjdf (they def argue a lot abt edmund and his upbringing and, while im sure they tried to disguise that from him, im sure edmund knows at least a little abt it just cause you can't entirely hide that from a kid)

oh yeah i feel like she's defffff been clear from the start that one way or another he ~will be emperor and that was the prupose for which he was born lkajsdfkljdsjf and she would legit like...say that straight out. no sugarcoating. 'i gave you life for this purpose. you will do this for me in return' lakjdsfkljdsfj and on the other side, roderick just sending him disappointment letters alsjdkfkljsdf edmund turned out miraculously well, honestly alksdjfakljdf my god lakjdsfkljsdljfsdf

EDMUND'S REBELLION

omg his rebellion!! honestly that was a good one bc it'd def strike at her where it hurt!! she's giving him ever opportunity she can!! she even gave him (some) witch knowledge tho she knew her grandmother would be rolling in her grave over that!! she had to give him every opportunity she could!

honestly i ~was thinking that her attempted murder of arthur probs came out of roderick cozying up too much to marian or smth like that, but now im like -- omg if edmund was pulling this amira was probs like 'ur not good enough to survive on ur own' and decided to off his chief rival before she realized that just ~telling him that could work on edmund as a motivational tactic alksjdfklsjdf lakjsdflkdjsfjdf which also btw might be a big part of why it was so half-hearted an attempt bc she still thought arthur could strengthen edmund in the right circumstances lasjkdflkjsdf that being said, she deffff tried to hide the attempted murder from edmund like that was def just a bizarre, violent, and harrowing illness that, sure, acted just like belladonna poisoning but what could that possibly have to do with amira??? she wasn't anywhere near the boy!! ;DDDD

ooooh that makes total sense and i love that for him!!! and godfrey honestly defff wants him to be a good and able and active emperor!!!! in fact, he's betting literally the entire world on the idea that he ~will be alksjdfkljsf honestly tho i don't think ~amira really cares how active an emperor he is, just as long as he makes sure no one takes the job from him!! let the ppl starve!! amira doesn't care! they'll just have to find their own way to survive just like ~she did!!

AMIRA VS VARMONT

oh biggggg timeee!!! that's frankly why all his siblings (w the exception of cassandra!) are still alive!!! she believes that competing w them sharpens and hones edmund and makes him stronger and better able to survive!!! she does plan to ultimately kill them all (except possibly cassandra bc amira doesn't think she could ever realistically become empress, and her marriage could prove useful to edmund, but if cassandra becomes collateral damage, amira wont shed no tears laskdjflkjdsf) [ this ] is actual footage of a varmont family dinner w amira as ron and everyone else as all the rest of the varmonts honestly hahahahaha

but yeah! esp between ot3: succession kids that is her personal pet rivalry akldsjfkldsf but yeah as you said esppppp arthur bc she frankly doesn't really see guin being the ultimate heir, if roderick ever does get around to choosing (which frankly amira isn't cputting much stock in in the first place hahaha) and she doesn't see guin fighting for it if he ~doesn't bc she doesn't want the throne hahaha so yeah she's esp invested in that sweet sweet arthur/edmund rivalry for sure lkjasflkjkdjf

AMIRA'S LOVE

ughhhh poor edmund honestly!!! and honestly??? idk if amira knows he's experiencing this but like??? she'd be so proud of him successfully concealing part of himself as needed!!! she's like 'wow ive done such a great job then!!' bc that's evidence of his strength aljfkljdsf amira...come on, man alsjfkljsdf

ANYWAY lkajdfkjdsf but honestly even she would be a lil sad bc like...she does ~wish he could be happy but she believes happiness flies in the face of strength and she ultimately prizes his life over his happiness and believes that's legit the choice he's being faced with and ughhh i think when she was 18 years old holding her newborn, the son of a egotistical tyrant in her arms for the v first time, she promised her baby that she would do whatever it took, no matter what it was, to ensure he survived and that promise frankly trumps absolutely everything -- she's gonna do whatever it takes!!!! even if it means killing him inside so he can survive whats to come!!! </3

OOC | Amira & Edmund

hiya, it's ya mama!! ummm idk how to tell you this but...godfrey's the fun parent klajdsflkjsf amira is too busy tryna one-up varys at court and being all 'you embarrassed me today' when edmund fails as a motivational tactic lkasjflkjdf (and we've already discussed the kind of dad ~roderick is akljsdfkjsf) BUT don't let her fool you!! where roderick is all fire, amira is all ice and if you touch her kid you WILL quietly and painfully die -- not that she'd ever tell edmund that beyond smth along the lines of 'no one else matters, only us' bc her parenting is a++++

ANYWAY!! edmund is 100% the product of her ambition like...lol she don't give a flying fuck abt roderick! as far as she is concerned, roderick is a tool in multiple senses! ;D honestly, edmund ~is the person she cares most abt (sorry, bros!), but like...he's #2 in her life bc the thing she cares abt most isn't a person at all -- it is ultimately revenge/power (they're the same thing to her -- miss thing is a slytherin ;DDD) <333333 she's def got a 'the world is at your feet or its at your throat' mentality so she ~does 100% see gaining revenge/power as protecting edmund in her own weird way bc she's been at the world's mercy before and she'd do absolutely anything to make sure that edmund never is -- like, making him emperor is, in her eyes, the only way to keep what happened to ~her and to godfrey from happening to her baby, but that is still 100% more important than his happiness!!! and she would 100% acknowledge this openly there is no dancing around it alkjsfkljsdf like, she doesn't really believe in gods as such (just that there ~are super powerful beings out there that it pleases men to call gods), but if she did, that whole 'god doesn't want you to be happy, he wants you to be strong' quote is 10000000% amira's whole mentality so that's fun!!!

anyway, she's def raised edmund as mommy's lil warlord <3 he must be strong if he wishes to survive what's to come!!! (she also thinks roderick is actually weak af and that's why things have gone as abysmally as they have) also lowkey think amira might've poisoned guin's mom bc she was worried she would have a son </3 and amira can compete with marian for roderick's affections, but not w his og empress, so she didn't think edmund would stand a chance of ruling if the og wife ever had a son. like...amira's been looking towards this war since the first day she clapped eyes on roderick and said 'imma seduce that man' alskdjfkldf also tbh i don't think it actually ~was black magic that produced edmund but i think ~amira thinks it was alksjdfaljksdf so!! that's fun ksjdfaklsjfaksdf amira: you know what really spices things up in the bedroom? black magic babies!

ANYYYYYYWAY, she had edmund specifically and intentionally to create the next emperor and then stupid marian beat her to the punch (i.e., hearing about marian's pregnancy is when amira turned to black magic to ensure she'd conceive) but then amira really fucked up and started to actually care about edmund!!!! #whoops so she was like 'no more babies! i will not become weaker!' and that's why edmund has no full siblings aldksjfskldjf

so, re: amira's opinions abt the future!! she isn't really worried about guin becoming empress bc she honestly can't see roderick w all ~his hangups ultimately wanting guin to rule, what w being a woman, and besides -- and much more importantly bc amira doesn't give af what roderick wants tbqh -- guin obv doesn't wanT the throne so she aint gonna fight for it after roderick dies (in fact, bc of this amira is 100% fine w roderick picking guin -- she'll just oops! tragically die of grief after losing roderick, just like her mama did, and then BOOM edmund for emperor aljsflkjsf), but arthur ~will fight for the throne. sebastian's hardest to nail down, but he ~is male, so ppl of the varmont empire might still amass behind him, so amira means to axe him too someday, just for good measure

i do think once or twice, she has tried to kill arthur and sebastian when amira thought roderick was on the brink of making a decision she didn't like (yeah? that one really really srs childhood illness arthur had? poisoned by his stepmama, but tragically -- tho he nearly died -- he pulled through after all :/) but i do think she was only halfhearted even then bc i think she believes that the competition makes edmund stronger so his bros get to live a lil longer ig alsdjflksdf but she probs has been poisoning marian for awhile, just enough to keep her from conceiving again lkajsdfkljsdf bc amira realized too late that poisoning wife #1 actually made guin's position stronger w roderick and she def doesn't want that for arthur and seb, so marian gets to live lkajsdlfkjdjf

#ooc #edmund varmont #godfrey calainon #roderick varmont #arthur varmont

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