#on a more positive note camerons so beautiful in her gown i hope her and chase are happy forever

[ace-with--a-mace]

rewatching house but you take a shot everytime they mention sarcoidosis lupus ms or cushings

[haltandcatchfiretothemax]

FEMSLASH FEBRUARY 2020 #18: In which Cameron and Donna discuss formal wear

[CN: gender non-conformity and related bodily discomfort with gendered clothing]

Ed’s note: @dealanexmachina sent me a prompt, and this is what I hope will be the first of many ‘sharing clothes’ fics! 

It was November of 1995, and Cameron and Donna had tacitly agreed to ease off the still unspoken romantic tension between the two of them as best as they could. It was easier than either of them thought it would be; there were holidays and also Donna’s birthday to celebrate, there was plenty of work to be done, and for Donna, that included finishing planning her second annual gala for ‘women in tech.’

As they sat down for another nightly work date, Donna slid an engraved invitation across the table to Cameron, who panicked slightly as soon as she saw it. “Look, there’s no pressure, but you’re welcome to join us,” Donna said. “And you don’t have to worry, because I’ll be putting a protective barrier around the entire perimeter of the pool.”

“I just don’t have anything to wear, to something like this,” Cameron frowned.

“Well, you could always borrow something of mine,” Donna offered. Then, pointedly, she said, “you’re not that much taller than I am. And everything I have is tailored for me to wear with heels.” When Cameron didn’t respond, still staring down at the invitation, Donna said, “I mean I could also buy something for you to wear. Or what, would that be weird? Too Pretty Woman?”

Cameron sighed, and then, looked sideways at Donna. “Pretty Woman? In what universe am I any Julia Roberts character? Or a pretty woman?”

Donna smiled at her. “I think the general consensus is that you’re a lot more than a pretty woman.” Cameron didn’t respond. Donna said, “Look, I won’t be offended if you don’t want to attend the party, I know you don’t love them. But I’d hate for you to miss out just because you don’t have an outfit, so, I’m happy to help with that, if you’d like. That’s all I’m saying.”

Cameron thought about it for a second, and then she said, “Do you really think you might have something that wouldn’t be completely ridiculous on me?”

“I think we could at least look,” Donna grinned encouragingly.

Fifteen minutes later, they were standing together in Donna’s walk-in closet. Cameron looked around, and thought about how the small space seemed like the perfect size for an apartment, as Donna flipped through her dresses. “Here,” she said, grabbing one of her hangers, which naturally was a luxe-looking cedar hanger with silk padding on it. 

She held the dress up in front of Cameron, and then pulled it back and held it up in front of her so Cameron could look at it. “Maybe a sleeveless sheath dress, like this? It’s not too short, and it’s not overly revealing.” 

It was a deep red, and looked very narrow. Trying and failing to sound optimistic, Cameron said, “It looks like it could be tolerable.”

“Alright, then!” Donna grinned. “I’ll let you try it on.” She went back out into her bedroom.

Apprehensively, Cameron kicked off her shoes, and pulled off her tee-shirt and jeans. She stepped into the dress, which was stiffer and longer than she expected it to be, and pulled it on. She reached behind her for the zipper, but found that she couldn’t move it. She straightened her body out, smoothed the dress down, tried again, but didn’t have any more luck with it. She sighed. Holding it closed behind her as if it were a hospital gown, she went out into Donna’s room.

Donna jumped up from her bed, “Here, let me get the zipper. Actually, here, no, go back,” she ushered Cameron back into her closet. She positioned Cameron in front of her full length mirror, and carefully tugged the zipper upward. She stopped three quarters of the way up, and moved Cameron’s hair out of the way, putting it over her shoulder, and then zipped it the rest of the way. “There,” she said. “What do you think?”

Cameron looked in the mirror, face turning as red as the dress. Then she said, “This looks the kind of dress that requires heels.”

“If you really like how you look in it, you could wear it with flats. Especially at your height.”

Shrewdly, Cameron said, “But an actual, functional, normal, woman wouldn’t right? She’d wear it with heels? Or, she’d know that that’s what she’s supposed to do.”

“As an actual, functional, though I guess maybe not entirely but mostly normal woman I’m not sure I agree, but, I do see your point,” Donna said. She looked at Cameron’s reflection again. “You could get away with it though.”

“It really looks okay, otherwise?” Cameron asked.

Incredulous, Donna balked, “ Are you kidding? It looks great on you.”

Cameron pursed her lips. “I think your waist is smaller than mine, it feels tight.”

“It doesn’t feel snug,” Donna said, carefully feeling Cameron’s near her ribcage. 

Cameron’s breath caught in her chest. “I guess it’s psychosomatic, then, it just feels too constricting. Like, it’s constricting my will to live, or something.” She tugged at the neckline, which, being a boatneck silhouette, was nowhere near her throat. 

Donna started to laugh at her, and Cameron fussed at her, “Well I’m glad you think my diminishing will to live is funny, Donna.”

Donna shook her head, “No, it isn’t, I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing because I….” Donna managed to stop before saying that she loved Cameron, took a breath, and then said, “Because I like you. And I like how odd you are, and that you say things like that about clothes.”

Cameron forgot about the dress, and how uncomfortable she felt. “I like you too, Donna. Thanks for getting it even though you don’t really get it or hate having to pick clothes like I do.” 

A sliver of Cameron’s chest was visible, and Donna’s eyes drifted down to it. She could see that it was starting to turn red. “Okay, let me unzip you,” she said, pulling the zipper back down. 

Cameron started to slip the dress off, and felt a moment of overwhelming relief, and then remembered that Donna was there, and panicked slightly. Arms out of the dress, she held it in front of her chest, and watched Donna look for another one for her to try. 

“This is a lot looser, but it might be a little short,” Donna said, bringing over a long dark green dress. She offered it to Cameron, who took it without any further question, mostly so that Donna would leave, and she could stop being half un-dressed.

The green dress was long, and had a deep v neckline, it was a wrap dress with loose kimono-looking sleeves that sort of looked like a very long button-down shirt. It was infinitely more comfortable than the red dress, but Cameron still couldn’t shake the idea that it looked ridiculous, that she was ridiculous.

“Cam?” Donna asked a few minutes later. She slowly stepped back into her closet, and stopped next to Cameron, in front of the mirror. “This looks like it fits you.”

Cameron frowned at her. “Dresses just, feel weird. They always have.”

The dress looked perfectly fine, but Donna could see that Cameron looked miserable. Shrugging gently, Donna said, “Well, you could wear pants? There’s no rule against them, or not at my party, anyway.”

Cameron’s frown deepened. “So like, a pant suit?” 

Donna’s face contorted in horror. “Lord, no. Even if that did suit you, it’d be too old for you. Dress your age cuts both ways, you don’t dress too young, but you don’t age yourself with your clothes, either.” She noticed the red dress, which Cameron had put back on its hanger and hung on the door, and grabbed it, and took it back to its usual spot.

“It’s not like I’m young, Donna,” Cameron chuckled.

Donna paused in the middle of taking a last look through her collection to roll her eyes. “You’re not even 35 yet! That just sounds old because people are obsessed with this ridiculous notion that we’re our most beautiful in our 20s, and that success only counts if you get it while you’re young and hot, when none of that makes sense.”

“i guess if I’d believe that from anyone, I’d believe it from you,” Cameron grinned tentatively. “You have definitely gotten hotter and also happier, and wiser with age and success.” 

Donna felt her face warm, and felt relieved that her back was to Cameron. She glanced nervously over her shoulder at her. 

“I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have said that,” Cameron fretted. 

“No, it’s okay,” Donna joked, trying to sound calm. Mock seriously, she looked back at Cameron again from her clothes rack and said, “It’s the objective truth.”

Wryly, Cameron said, “You’ve also gotten more modest.”

Donna smiled proudly at her large closet full of expensive clothes, and then she said, “Well, I guess next stop is off the rack, so, department store? You could buy something and have it tailored.”

Wearily, Cameron sighed, “It’s not that I don’t have anything to wear, it’s like…it’s always felt like nice clothes for me don’t exist. Not that I’m totally unique or anything, but I mean, people like me. It’s not as simple as, ‘oh, put on pants then,’ because suits, tuxedos, whatever, none of it looks right on me.” She gently gathered up the dress, pulled it this way and that awkwardly. “None of it feels right. Men’s wear never really fits right, but dresses, like, they make me feel like something is wrong with my body.” She dropped the dress, and slouched unhappily.

Donna looked at her for a moment, and scratched her chin pensively. Putting her other hand on her hip, she gently said, “I think I might be having some kind of idea.” She looked Cameron up and down, and then said, “I wonder if Risa and/or her partner have a tailor that they could recommend? Or maybe they could help in some other way.”

Cameron blushed, mostly because it sounded like some kind of possible, workable solution. Quietly, she said, “Yeah, maybe.”

“I’ll call Risa tomorrow,” Donna said, putting her other hand on her hip. “Uh, for now, do you wanna change back into your clothes and get back to work?”

“God, yes,” Cameron said. Then she said, “I still might just, you know, stay home and wash my hair the night of the party. If things don’t work out with Risa and her hypothetical tailor.”

“That’s okay,” Donna smiled. She put her hands in the pockets of her sweatshirt “I still have hope though. I still remember how you looked when I first saw you. You were wearing a men’s tank top and green army pants, and without underwear.”

Exasperated, Cameron argued, “I was wearing underwear, Donna. Or well…okay, no, I wasn’t wearing a bra, but I was wearing underpants.”

Donna laughed at her again. “Yeah, well, either way, I thought you looked great. If you can look that good in a tank top and army pants, there’s gotta be something more formal out there for you.”

Cameron blushed again, and fiddled with the sash on the dress. “I guess anything is possible.”