#on a diff wavelength. like to others i might be like...concescending or w/e when i say okay
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unironically i was made for the miscommunication trope and if i didn't see the world and the ppl in it as so intensely beautiful i would probably have killed myself
#like this world tends to be so gorgeous i feel so lucky to know the ppl i know i feel so lucky to observe them etc etc#and i think that thread truly keeps me hanging on . i think most problems social in my life which i think is 50% of them#come from the fact that i sometimes sound egregiously rude or out of pocket or w/e when in my head i am entirely#on a diff wavelength. like to others i might be like...concescending or w/e when i say okay#to me i am being entirely sincerely when i say 'okay'. it is ok ! but like apply this to sooo many diff situations#and how confusion is so distressing to me and so my sincerity comes across as sarcasm or rudeness#like the distress is so real ! i want to exist sincerely i want to be believed let me be kind let me exist with words as my witness and not#my tone ! let me live without deception ! but this is not the world we live in and i think i will forever and ever#be misinterpreted and it isnt anyones fault its just...the state of things. i will never be seen as#a good or kind person i think regardless of my actions or words bc i struggle w tone sometimes and that rly rly does sting#and the knowledge that this is an unchangeable fact stings just as much. but the sun rises and is beautiful#my friends who often misinterpret my intentions are beautiful their hands are beautiful their hair under moonlight ? beautiful !!#and god streetlights in the fog and the crunching of leaves and the petrol station nearby casting#red light on wet concrete and the green tint of this city and MUSIC !! all the music ! i have so much to live for and it is unfortunate#that for the whole time i will spend alive i will only see and never be seen
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