#omg when they touch Gary's hair!!

[djkerr]

Gary Cole on the Today Show (April 7, 2015) getting lots of hair and mustache attention. 🩶🦊

[source]

[dearest-painter]

OMG THANK YOU SOOO MUCH AND HERE ARE MY HEADCANONS IF THEY WERE IN OUR PRESENT TIME:3

GYARU!READER

They would definitely do and film grwm routines but some of them being “grwm to go fight someone”

And also “GRWM about talking about stuff I hate”

Used to work at Sephora cause they argued and fought one of the customers

Now miserably works at Waffle House and hates how the stuff gets under their acrylic nails

Has had a fight with someone over the cloths they were gonna buy and yandere romantic Gary ended up being their getaway driver or him helping gyaru!reader while acting like he hates them

Only uses emoticons when insulting someone

Has Ratio many people on twitter

Goes live while doing their hair and user12638627 joining in, definitely not yandere romantic Gary(or Gary would use his account while typing in Hate, but has a whole collection of gyaru!readers vids saved on tiktok secretly)

A lot of pics of them and their clothing check are on Pinterest and the gyarus Pinterest users loves them

Cries like Trisha paytas

SCENE!READER

Is very popular on MySpace

Does tutorials on how to do kandi like different types of bracelets, purses, keychains, ect

Also does grwm on tiktok but on YouTube it’s kinda long(example:https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=-MToB72v6_0&list=LL&index=1&t=61s&pp=gAQBiAQB)

Did a tiktok of them and Jimmy and Pete, all together, dancing to nightcore version of be my bad boy or everytime we touch(which got like 1 million likes)

Ether ignores a hate comment or just reply’s to them with ”:3” or any emoticon

But yandere platonic Gary goes after those who types hate comments and stuff like “wrist reveal” and makes a lot of accounts terrorizing them and manages to find their bloodline on Facebook until they blocked him

Is followed by yandere platonic Gary, Jimmy, pete, the nerds, and Johnny on tiktok

Yandere platonic gary films a vid of him and his sibling(scene!reader) while it read “when you and your sibling has a different clothing style”

Does outfit checks

LOLITA!READER

Yandere platonic Jimmy does vids of him helping his younger sibling(Lolita!reader) with their hair

Their mom bought lolita!reader that lolita dress from Amazon and yandere platonic Jimmy had to explain to his mom the reason why it was wrong and that other people like Lolita!reader avoids that mistake and he ended up buying a different dress from bodyline, lace market, Taobao or any Lolita website cause their mom didn’t understand

Plays on roblox and the game being the most played by them would be royale high and them having a lot of expensive clothing sets on the game and playing with Jimmy along with Pete and surprisingly gary would play with them(but Gary would only play to ether troll or with the others because of boredom)

Roblox username is unicorngirl something

Ratios everybody who hates on their older sibling vids

Has told a kid(who they were arguing with)on roblox that they should shut up cause they are probably like 5 and should give their mom the phone back and that it’s bedtime

Has almost gotten lost by a crowd of people when them and Jimmy tried to go to their class cause a Tardy sweep was happening(and Jimmy had to hold on to their hand)

Argues with grown ass adults(only when they are being disrespectful to them or Jimmy)

Has an amazing reading level and is very smart for their age(Gary or the jocks definitely didn’t commented an 🤓 under a post of Lolita!reader and the schools post being about their intelligence while being young from the schools page)

Jimmys and Lolita!readers mom flexes about how Lolita!reader is the only gen alpha that knows how to read and spell and isn’t disrespectful (Lolita!reader birthdate is ether 2012, 2013 or 2014)

Thinks kids who goes to Sephora are dumb

Offoptic: right now I can imagine gyaru!reader doing their work on Waffle House while miserably trying to get the stuff out under from the acrylics and saying some storylines while getting ready, scene!reader giving yandere platonic gary, Jimmy, pete,the nerds some of the kandi they made, and the trio(Yandere platonic Jimmy, gary, and pete) playing fashion famous with Lolita!reader, and Gary being pissed that someone is copying him, and on shark attack, Lolita!reader and jimmy trying to kill the shark while one of them were yelling to drive faster to Gary and Gary being pissed and blaming it on Pete(at the end, the shark ends up catching them and killing yandere platonic jimmy and Gary while pete and Lolita!reader manages to get away by jumping off the moment the shark was about to eat them but they end up dying at the end when the shark finds them)

Omfg I love this so much but I do love the idea that Gyaru!reader warms up to it because of their coworkers but also the fact, they get free drama that finally doesn’t involve them

[mouthfulloftoothpasterry]

I think he was a little flirty today 🤭

So as soon as I got to school I was finally able to check my phone when I see that my professor sent an email that class was cancelled 🙃 so I got more time to hang out with Gary :) and we brought our yearbooks today so it worked out perfectly. So he ended up bringing one of his yearbooks from middle school and he was telling us funny stories and that man looked so different especially bc he had short hair. Oh yeah but before we decided who was going first with their yearbook, I was like well I'm least important since I just started hanging out with them and he was like no you're just as important and my brother's female friend was saying the same and Gary was like you're so important it's unhinged and I was like oh okay. It was funny too bc he realized just how much older he is than me, (he's currently 4 years older ATM but after my birthday it'll be 3) especially when he realized that as soon as he left high school, I was just entering and he was like I feel really old. But it was funny bc in one of my yearbooks I pointed out how there was a new p.e. teacher that was actually young and good looking and he was like I'm assuming the teacher you had was none of that and so I pointed at the pic of my old p.e. teacher and I was like he wasn't my type and Gary pointed out 3 things about him and my brother's friend said to Gary, well you're only 2 of those things, one of them being old bc well Gary's not bald but when their friend said that in my mind I was like 😆 so some time later Gary, my brother, and his friends were geeking out over a video game and saying how they can ironically dress like the characters (in a casual way so it's not costumey) and Gary was wondering who he'd be and I pointed out my fav character and when some of their other friends joined in he was like she said I should be this character so ofc I'm thinking aw is he really taking what I said into account. Before I had to leave, he wanted to go get some lunch and he was like oh but you're about to leave and he still went and as he was leaving I said you better run and he was like well if you wanna say bye to me so badly. And when I was leaving, we did our handshake and he was like your nails are better than mine so it looks better when you do it

- 🍓

GIRLLLL HE IS SO FLIRTING WITH YOU OMG JUST KISS HIM ON THE MOUTH ALRRADYDBDJ

YOU NEED TO START FLIRTING WITH HIM BIG TIME

OR EVEN JUST LIKE TOUCHING HIS ARM BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU KNOW THE BASIC SHIT

[ravenadottir]

those hcs about the guys giving head 🥵🥵🥵 ridiculously hot omg... but now i need to know how they all react to mc giving them head 😏😏😂

I like your brain anon 😉😂   

let’s address this real quick. this is not gonna be as fluffly as it’s gonna be smutty and graphic! you’ve been warned! AND it’s gonna get detailed because i write a lot about it in my fics.

i’m gonna go with my favorite boys, and one for the girls in a different post, aright?

um, some of them might be open to smear some stuff and let you go to town, but that’s very personal, regarding tastes and textures (and i hate that so fucking much), so i’ll leave that for another time. which is never.

all of them will be kissing you at some point, i’ll just address when 😂

bobby. prefers to be sitting down, loves to look at you from time to time, and definitely grazes a thumb on your cheek. he grunts a lot, and occasionally lets a breathy cuss word escape. if you let him, he likes thrusting his hips slowly while you’re there. there’s a succession of cussing and your name at some point, usually before he cums. puts your hair behind your ear and smiles while he watches you. from time to time, might put his own hair back, exhaling. he will encourage a girl to have fun with herself, so... knock yourself out sis!

kissing: during and after. he’ll bend over a bit to kiss you, and let you go back. i think more tenderly than anything else. he loves watching you.

carl. not used to them, so he’s extra thankful!! there’s a mental image of carl with sweaty forehead, scooping his own hair to the side and not really knowing how to act during a good head! you’ll take the lead, put his hands on your head or hair if that’s your thing. he will try to sound as normal as possible, whatever he thinks that is, and you’ll have to tell him “don’t hold back”. but if i’m correct, and i hope i am, carl’s voice is really deep and a little raspy, so those “oh god” will be **extra** nice to hear. carl-will-lose-his-shit-if-she-touches-herself.

kissing: before, during, after, the next day. next week, until the next one. he’s thankful, mate...

gary. inhibition? where?? nope. gary has a thing for a good head, and he’s the kind that falls for a girl because of it! definitely moaning softly first, calling you “babe”, a lot of hissing and a lot of “just like that”. scoops your hair back, to look in your eyes while you go down on him, and loves if you wink at him. he’s a cheeky sort and will appreciate when a girl is too! plus, the thrusting will happen, but he’ll ask you permission first. also, if he can... *clears throat* unload in your mouth, then he’ll pay double when it’s his turn! he also loves a girl that teases him. so if you stop, go to his stomach while holding wrapping your hand around him, and tease your way back and forth, he will never recover! if a girl touches herself while going to town on him? next level of excitement and respect.

kissing: holds your chin to give you a kiss, and lets a “oh shit” out when you go back.

henrik. my days, the imagery of him flipping his hair to the side so he can see us better while he moans. fuck’s sake! remember, while you’re moving your mouth, he’s definitely relaxed wherever he’s sitting on, but i think he digs touching your arms, rubbing them up and down. from time to time, puts your hair behind your ear to see your lips, and smiles when you look at him. loves a flirty wink and won’t have a problem with you needing some air (lol). it had to be said. he prefers that you take your time and enjoy yourself as well, so don’t hold back.

kissing: grips both sides of your head, delicately, and kisses you tenderly, eventually it grows to something more intense, but if you stop the kiss and go back immediately, he’s yours.

kassam. sorry, not gonna hold back about him! he’s usually so quiet in public, you wouldn’t believe how he doesn’t hold back in private. i’ll say this, if you’re giving him exactly what he wants, he won’t notice he switched to french or arabic. before you know, he already tossed his head back, moaning your name, cussing in a different language. the type of guy to cover his eyes after watching you for a bit. he scoops your hair, but not the sides. up. and while doing that, he likes to rub your back with the other hand. prefers being standing up, but you can push him onto a bed or couch. definitely more soft moaning then grunting, but a lot of “mon dieu” during. hisses are ocasional. enjoys the teasing on the tip but if you wanna give him a deep thing, he will fall for you right there and then.

kissing. during, before, after. the important thing to say here is that he grabs the back of your neck to kiss you.

lucas. hahahahaha i wish i didn’t write this type of stuff for him as much, but what can i do?! he prefers you on your knees and him, standing up. he will roll your hair on a fist (if it’s possible) and pull it just to see your eyes and lips. if the fist move is not possible, he will scoop hair back, usually with both hands. he wants to have control at all times, when you’re going down on him. he grunts a lot and lets out some cuss words, but mostly your name, really low volume voice unless he’s about to cum. he likes rolling his lips against your mouth, but his favorite is when you graze “him” in your cheek. hisses his instructions sometimes, and can be the type that moves to a couch or bed. if you tease him, he’ll pretend not to care for it, but he likes a girl that challenges him at all times. it gets him going just as much.

kissing: will bend over to kiss you, but not before he pulls your hair *that way*. if you dig a slap, he’ll give you a couple, but mostly he’ll talk through his teeth about what he wants you to do next.

noah. my days... i can’t keep a straight face, because noah is so intense and grateful. he doesn’t know how to hold back and i think he prefers to stay sitting somewhere, preferably the couch. definitely puts your hair to the side to look at you, and likes holding your face at times. mostly thumb on your cheek and palm on your neck. he lets you go on your pace and knows how to appreciate different ways, but that’s when you hit him with “tell me what you like”. watch him lose his marbles. he never had that, so “thankful noah” will show up later. his favorite move is probably licking the tip while in the mouth, but he likes everything you do. soft moaning, mostly your name, but also how much he’s digging what you’re doing. definitely a lot of closing his eyes and tossing his head back, along with running his hands on his own hair.

kissing: gentle, but firm. just to show he appreciates what you’re giving him. both hands on your face, caressing your cheek, and a couple of “damn”.

not even sorry!

[ajokeformur-ray]

I watched Joker tonight and typed out my thoughts as they occurred to me. Unedited; typos are guaranteed. I did this a few months ago and really enjoyed looking back at my thought process and I wanted to do it again so that I can look back and know that what I feel is real and true in my darkest times.

You're welcome to skip this; it's under a cut for ease of doing so. Warnings for occasional sexual comment lmao. There’s no self shipping in this, I don’t think.

word count: 2, 575.

I’M SOBBING and I’ve only just pressed play.

Heart squeeze Chest much ow

THERE HE IS

✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨✨

Nooooo baby omg don’t pretend - let yourself hurt if it hurts. Don’t pretend. 

Carnival Carnival Carnivalllllllll 😍😍😍😍😍

I am a Simp for one clown and his name is Carnival

Someone help him, I????

That sign hit Arthur as hard as my love for him did ksksksk

MY EYES BE LEAKIN💔💔💔💔💔

bb nooooo

Oh honey let me kiss those bruises and replace the marks of violence with love, hm? You’re safe with me.

Breathe, my love. Don’t fight the laughter. Let it out, let yourself go. 

Screams into a pillow because????? much sad must kiss

“have you been keeping up with your journal?” LIKE HE HAS TIME

oHHHHH boi’s close to losing his shit

Do it, Artie. Give ‘em hell.

“I think I did” YOU TELL HER!!💖💖💖

I want to be his cigarette. Where’s Satan??? I got a new deal for my blackened soul which he took at half price😂😂😂😂

I’d have my hand between the door and his head so fuckin fast I swear

“I just don’t wanna feel so bad anymore” yep SAME

ohhhh peekaboo🥺🥺🥺

this makes me giggle ksksksk i watch this scene when i feel sad bc it always makes me happy for the time it’s on

he’s so good with kids; he doesn’t have to try and think about what’s funny, he just does it, he’s himself and it works

FUCK OFF LADY CAN’T YOU SEE HE’S STRUGGLING????

give

him

back

his

card

casually wrinkling my nose against tears lmao

ohhh the way he looks up at those stairs from the bottom

i can feel his exhaustion

me too, my love

step step step step

god i wanna get him the fuck outta gotham

and into my arms and a soft, warm blanket

“eat. you need to eat” LITERALLY WHAT I TELL MYSELF EVERY DAY IN HIS VOICE BC OTHERWISE I JUST WOULDNT EAT???? I’m losing so much weight asdfghjk its not enough tho

SUPAH RATS

Did Arthur come up w that joke or was it actually a Murray joke????

HIS VOICE IS SO SOFT IM CRY??🥺🥺🥺🥺

“I WAS PUT HERE TO SPREAD JOY AND LAUGHTER”

YOU DO BABY, YOU DO!!!! EVERY FUCKING DAY!!!!

go deepthroat a cactus randall - youre already a bit of a prick so🙃🙃🙃

“THE GUYS THINNK YOU’RE A FREAK BUT I LIKE YOU”

HOYT. YOU CAN GO SIT ON A CACTUS TOO

FUCK OFF

😡😡😡😡

“WHY WOULD ANYONE STEAL A SIGN”//”WHY DOES ANYONE DO ANYTIHNG?” HOYT YOU’RE SO FUCKING ILLOGICAL HERE IM????? ERIKA DOES NOT (ALSO WILL NOT LMAO IM A STUBBORN BIITCH) COMPUTE

Can arthur fuck me like he pounds the trash/????🥵🥵👀

those dark curls.... that crooked tooth... must kiss.🥺🥺🥺

pennys casual cruelty makes me so fucking angry

foreshadowingggggg ~  *JAZZ HANDS*

ugh the way he dances with that gun im👀🥵🥵🥵

he enjoys the power of it and his breathing gets deeper asdfghjk

clumsy baby omggggg i just COOED 🥺🥺🥺🥺

okay maybe im stupid but i genuinely dont understand this “senior who needs to graduate” skit i’m??? how is being an intro to western civ student funny im???? someone explain???

but also dont bc fuck that guy lmao arthur’s hilarious

true millenial humour (and brit humour lmao we’re dark asf)

THE WAY ARTIE TWIRLS HIS FINGERS AROUND HIS HAIR AND DANCES IN HIS SEAT IM???🥺🥺🥺

wanna curl up on his lap at night when hes writing and go to sleep with a 

blanket around our bodies🥺🥺🥺🥺

when arthur wears a shirt at home you KNOW it’s a daydream

THAT CROOKED TOOTH IM WANT KISS.

WAIT IS IT CALLED STAND UP COMEDY BC YOU STAND UP... AND ITS COMEDY???

23 FUCKING YEARS, PEOPLE... TO REALISE THAT🙄

WHEN CARNIVAL CAME ON SCREEN I NTHE HOSPITAL I MADE A PORNOGRAPHIC NOISE LMAO I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

IF YOURE HAPPY AND YOU KNOW IT, SHOOT MURRAY

WOOPS WRONG LYRICS

😂

“doctor of laughter”🥺🥺🥺🥺

doctor i have a case of the Big Sad can you... do an exam? 😉😏

NO BB DONT BEAT YOUR HEAD UP THERES PRECIOUS CARGO IN THERE

in what world does chucking cold greasy chips in a girls hair being “nice”???

lmao fuck these guys

ohhh honey breathe. dont fight it, my love, just breathe.

my heart’s breaking for you, you sweet thing🥺🥺🥺

i love you so so so so so so so much ugh you’re an actual fucking angel

just breathe darling

i need to get you a cup of tea with honey in it, your throat must be so sore

ohhhh baby im so sorry

i’d take every single punch if i could

i’d die for you

i wish i could protect you

i wish i could look after you

and take all those hits

and kill those guys for you

im so sorry

sobbingggg

YES GOOD MAN THANK YOUUU

KILL THOSE ASSHOLES LMAO DESERVED IT

yeah i have a grey morality... im similar to deadpool in that way tbh

carnival comin’ to kill your insecurities

8 bullets in a 6 chamber???? mm-hm

DONT FORGET YOUR BAG THATS EVIDENCE

AND THE WIG

RUN BABY RUNNNNNNN

GO GO GO GOOOOOOOOOOOO

RUN LIKE THE WIND BULLSEYE

THE SOUND OF HIS FEET SLAPPING THE PAVEMENT IM👀

OOOOOH JOKER’S WAKIN’ UUUUUUP

fuck he’s so hypnotic

the way he runs his hand down his lower stomach asdfghj🥵

must kiss the inner tendons on his wrists and lick the blood off his face 

must kiss

he moves like water

fuck hes so fluid

bathroom scene = the scene in which my heart and vagina clench at the same time

im WANT

T POSEEEEEEEE

“i still owe you for that, dont i?”

PUNCH OUT IS MY FAVOURITE THING E  V  E  R

D O N T S M I LE

UGH I FUCKING HATE being told to smile if i don’t fucking want to so BIG mood

PLEASE SHUSH ME THE WAY YOU JUST SHUSHED PENNY IM???

but also dont lmao bc i’ll think you’re mad at me and i’ll hide in the bedroom for the rest of the day lmao i’m sensitive✨✨✨

i wanna sit on his lap and still his bouncing knees

“thats not funny”

fuck off penny yes it is

I JUST CHOKED ON MY COFFEE IM???

“but i do” god the  P O W E R

ugh that fucking sexist piece of shit comedian can choke “women look at sex like buying a car” 🤢🤮🤢🤢🤮

chauvinistic pigs can die thanks

his lil trip upstage im cry🥺🥺🥺

ohhh baby. just breathe, darling. it’s okay to be scared. dont fight it. just breathe. 

he and i both cover our mouths when we laugh/smile in the exact same way and it makes me feel closer to him

how can they think hes laughing at himself when hes literally gagging????

people only see what they wanna

the Penny imitation is👌👌👌

s m i l e

i remember when i came home from seeing this for the first time, i got home and dropped to my knees to cry in the bathroom. it was such an emotional release and so much love and i played smile to try to make myself smile but i only made myself cry harder lmaooooo ~ 

smile and thats life are my go-to songs if i gotta cheer tf up

danger sign = neither works

he looks so soft after his “date”🥺🥺🥺

“thats life” yeah but murray you dont even leave the studio so how do you know????

ngl arthur’s anger scares me.

anyone so much as raise their voice at me and i’ll cry really bad and i will shut myself away for the rest of the day and quiet anger terrifies me so his banging abt in the kitchen would freak me tf out😲

angry bb😭

he controls his anger so fast though omgggg ~ 

that soft please sends me

idk where it sends me lmao

down below probably

BARE FACED CARNIVAL OMG THIS SCENE IS SO CUTE

I LOVE THE MATCHING COLOURS ON ARTHUR AND BRUCE TOO ???

okay but the implication that arthur always carries a clown nose on him is🥺🥺🥺

hes such a good clown im?????

lmao im enjoying the show more than bruce is skskskk

arthur’s lil chuckle makes me🥺

his HUMMING im??? soft?????

his brows are so strong and dark omggg ~ he’s so beautiful

OKAY i’ll be honest i’ve seen this alfred/bruce scene and the thomas bathroom scene later on and the penny flashback scene a 100 times and i still dont fucking understand what did or didnt happen regarding arthur’s parentage im????

 ive seen interpretations to say he is thomas’ son and some to say he isnt and i still cant decide so? im stupid i guess 🙃

“a clown thing?” the  s a s s

“it’s exit only” yeah so’s my ass🙃

if i was there in the hospital room i woulda turned that tv off as soon as i realised what clip was gonna play

murray’s cruelty is d i s g u s t i n g

lmao hes an asshole

arthurs lil clap from joyyyyy ~ 🥺🥺🥺

did i say murray???

i meant  m u r r a t

🙃🙃🙃

sneaky baby

wayne hall either has super bad security or arthurs v quick on his feet

🤔🤔🤔🤔

he looks so good in red omggg ~ 

f o r e s h a d o w i n g

arthurs smile when hes watching chaplin is how he smiles when we all gush to each other abt him and ourselves!!!

hes so cuuuuuute🥺🥺🥺🥺😭😭😍😍😍🥰🥰🥰

“told me what” 

ohhhh honey🥺🥺 im so sorry. “crazy” is a trigger word for arthur; it made him start laughing in the bathroom with thomas

“touch my son again ill fucking kill you” yeah?? touch my arthur again and i’ll fucking kill you🙃🙃🙃🙃

^^^ that ones a joke do not come at me

the clerk in arkham was nice to arthur - he, gary and sophie are the good gothamites.

none of it was enough to stop his descent into joker, though, and i’d even say it was too late right at the beginning of the film, too... 

his sock puppet thingy “they cut all those” is such a Joker thing to doooo ~ 

the way arthur’s laughing in the hall at arkham turns into sobbing is gut-wrenching omg the poor thing😭

i wanna hug him and protect him and help him to process this in a healthy way

sweetheart, if i could take all of your pain and put it onto me... i so would. i’d do it in a heartbeat.

i wanna get you into a hot shower, make you some food and sit and listen to you. we can either sit in silence or you can talk to me, my love, and you will be heard and understood and loved.

“i had a bad day”

IT’S OKAY I DIDNT NEED MY HEART ANYWAY OMG YOU POOR SWEET INNOCENT THING IM LOVE YOU🥺💔

THAT ENTIRE LATE NIGHT SCENE LAUGH/SOBBING GOT ME -

💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i just wanna hold you and protect you and help you and love you

I’m so fucking sorry, darling. i wish i could take it all away from you

“i havent been happy one minute of my entire fucking life”

NO ONE SHOULD LOOK THAT ANGELIC AFTER COMMITING MATRICIDE IM????

get

that

fucking

gun

away

from

your

face

boi dont test me ill fucking go feral or - no, tell you what, i’ll point the gun at me and see how you like it

im looking respectfully at the green speckled undies scene....👀👀👀

“coming” 😏😏😏

“my mum died im celebrating” and “i stopped taking my medication” and you STILL stayed in the apartment with Arthur????? dudes those are 🚨🚨🚨 signs

woe betide anyone who underestimates arthur fleck lmaoooo

randalls death scene makes me laugh every time omg i feel so vindictive

get WRECKED

i wanna lick the blood off his face. i really want to

ngl i think i have a blood kink... 

“dont look just go” ME WITH MY ACNE WHEN I SEE IT IN THE MIRROR 😂😂😂😂

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKER 

ASDFGHJKL

J

O

K

E

R

ERIKA.EXE HAS STOPPED WORKING

JOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERJOKERRRRRR

😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 MY BABY MY MAN OMG THERE HE IS IM CRY???????😭🥺😭🥺😭🥺

my mind is literally blank rn im just staring and crying and smiling so hard my face hurts????? im love him so so so so much

sweet thing’s so used to pain he gets HIT BY A CAR AND KEEPS GOING????

I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU I LOVE YOU

hghhhhhhhhhhhhhh

euirrrrrrgkjbgkfbirsghigrbugr

*incoherent keyboardsmash to portray utter love*

ohhh baby no dont cry. oh honey😭 i wanna sit on your lap and kiss your tears away

“i love dr sally”

you have a WIFE at home

“DO YOU REMEMBER?” THAT WAS YOUR CUE TO APOLOGISE LMAO GET FUCKED MURRAT

he’s so CUTE

omgggg ~ 

my hearts gonna give out its SQUEEZING SO HARD IT HURTS

YOU MOCK THEM, BABY!!! THEY GOT IT COMING

“i wanna get it right” hes so passionate

my comments have deceased in number bc im just too starstruck and in love to even think clearly lmao

jokers all i know rn and this is the most peaceful ive felt in WEEKS

im sobbing

ugh fuck this hurts so BAD

youre speaking the truth, darling. im so so proud of you and i love you so much

“THEY COULDNT CARRY A TUNE TO SAVE THEIR LIVES” LMAO INSIDE JOKESSS

literally sobbing right now ugh what the fuck youre in so much pain and in the middle of a breakdown and no one saw you

ugh baby im so sorry, you deserve so much better

you tried so hard and you were gonna fall no matter what

IN THE WHITE ROOM

“hi” baby they cant hear you but im COOING 🥺🥺🥺🥺

you’re so fucking cute

say the word and ill burn gotham to the fucking ground for you

i wanna sit atop that car and cradle your head in my lap and wipe the blood off your face and help you stand up and be there for you and and and😭😭😭😭😭😭 i love you so so so much. 

i’d be so much worse off without you in my life. you brought a splash of colour which has never dimmed or faded. it never will. 

b l o o d    s m i l e

=

im wearing my inside on the outside now and it still hurts

angel💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔

i see you and your pain. i love you.

i see you, angel. 

his genuine laughter is🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺

that cute lil “ksksks” he does im🥺🥺🥺

i always laugh with him omg the two of us are laughing together ugh its the closest i will ever get to sharing in his joy

 t h a t ‘s    l i f e

i love the hallway daaaaaaaaaaaaaance ~ 

them hips dont lie😉😉😉

i love you i love you i love you i love you omg the sun’s like a halo ugh i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you i love you im singing along to thats life while i type out how much i love you at 220am lmaooooo ~ 

i   l o v e    y o u

[shanie-the-toyaddict]

Can we TALK about the Spongebob Squarepants Musical?

Just got done watching the Nickelodeon Filmed version, and...

I HAVE THOUGHTS

(SPOILERS FOR THE MUSICAL AHEAD)

Things that my tiny brain can’t get past:

Karen: Sheldon, you couldn’t rap to save your life. Plankton: OH YEAH (Proceeds to be a rap god for an entire song, INCLUDING a section literally BASED ON THE SONG “RAP GOD”.).

Pearl: Come ON daddy, I know we aren’t the same species... which is, like, REALLY weird when you come to think about it...

Speaking of Pearl, she is HANDS DOWN the best singer in the entire show, and it’s not just a random fact, it’s a legitimate PLOT POINT

Show Producers: We’re not going to make the characters inhuman. They will be real people who just look like the characters. Meanwhile, Ethan Slater: *is an actual invertebrate sponge (I don’t think the man has bones, I really don’t)

Nickelodeon: This is a kids musical for children Also Nickelodeon: We’re including an entire subplot about RACISM!

Nickelodeon: Spongebob is a family show about family values Also Nickelodeon: Well, Patrick is Jesus and Christianity is stupid, sooo...

Spongebob: “Is that a jellyfish on a stick?!”

Mrs. Puff is a damn ALCOHOLIC. They don’t even try to HIDE it.

Everyone: Let’s have a concert!! Patrick: Is mayonnaise an instrument? (Yes, that made it into the show)

THEY DID THE TIME LAPSE BIT

Every damn time Ethan Slater switched voices (as in dropped the Spongebob voice for a line or two) I WAS SHOOK.

HE CAN DO THE LAUGH

Despite being humans you can tell who everyone is supposed to be, and that is FN AWESOME

SQUIDWARD GETS THE SHOWSTOPPER

Speaking of which, I have two different sponge tutorials of this show, one Broadway, one Previews, and HANDS DOWN I feel the Nick one is better than both because you can see the minute details in facial expressions. I don’t even know how this show worked on stage because I have BEEN on broadway, and you can’t read emotions from the balcony. So I know little things like Spongebob’s eyes going haywire would NEVER translate to a theater audience. 

Person (I forget who): I NEED A DRUM KIT UP HERE! *realizes there is literally a percussionist on stage* Person: Oh. Percussionist: *waves*

*DOLPHIN NOISES*

Plankton/Karen is the true love story of the show, and I love that they REMOVED the line about “We don’t need to punish them, they have each other, that’s punishment enough.” NO FUCK THAT. Plankton/Karen is a true, loving marital relationship, and I am so grateful they drove that point home, rather than make it seem like Marriage = Hell.

PATCHY THE MUTHAFUCKIN PIRATE

“I Guess I Miss You” Is still way too close to a love song for my tastes but YMMV

I wish to know exactly what sort of training/preparation is required to be the sound effects guy because HOLY SHIT HE’S GOOD

The touching scene where Spongebob says goodbye to Gary? Wonderful.

Ok, so that part where Spongebob is climbing through the ladder setup. I didn’t SEE them attach the cable to him, and I’m fairly certain it would be impossible to USE a cable there, so PROPS TO ETHAN FOR DOING THAT SHIT WITHOUT ANY SAFETY EQUIPMENT!

The Panic! at the Disco song is really strong, and is the one moment where you find yourself realizing “Oh shit, Spongebob can SING!”

(during “Hero is my Middle Name”) Sandy: That’s nice boys, but mine’s Jennifer.

Not even counting the fact that “No Control” and “Best Day Ever” were already established songs, if someone handed me the soundtrack recording, along with a list of songwriters who contributed, I’m fairly certain I could match up most of them without any additional information. For example, “Just a Simple Sponge” is very CLEARLY Panic! and “Hero is my Middle Name” screams 80′s pop (Cyndi Lauper did that one). “Bikini Bottom Day” is right up there on JoCo’s style chart, I didn’t need to be told that the rock song was by Steven Tyler, and HOT SHIT, could it be possible that T.I. wrote the RAP SONG??? (and so on)

I’m somewhat sad that they removed the line about “Bikini bottom for fish only” because it made it absolutely impossible to miss the racism/white nationalist subplot. Perhaps they thought it made it a bit TOO obvious though and left it out because “This IS a family musical, and we don’t need to beat our audience over the head with that shit”.

On a related note, The Mayor is straight up a political statement on the inefficiency and corruption of the Government, and I’m here for that. I JUST REALIZED THAT IN THE TV VERSION PATCHY IS ACTUALLY TOM KENNY OMG!!!! Loving the diversity of the cast, TBH. However, it’s not colorblind casting like Hamilton. You can tell there was very careful planning in who played what, such as Sandy being a black woman with natural hair, Pearl being a woman of color while Mr. Crabs is white, The mayor is white, and so on. The only deliberate casting I have any issue with is Karen being Asian (and again, this was deliberate, not just colorblind casting), but I suppose you can handwave that less as “Asians are geeky/nerdy” and more as “She’s literally MADE IN JAPAN”, which makes it a bit more palatable.  This is all I have time for right now, as I am due elsewhere in 20 minutes, but yeah. There is so much awesome with this show/performance, and I recommend it to anyone, not just people who watched Spongebob as a kid. Yes, the millennial crowd will likely get the most out of it (even more than current kids), but it’s a good show for everyone. 

[issaxcharlie]

Story: Messing with the stars

Chapter 1

Bobby

I always end up here. It is as if her voice drags me back. It’s a miracle that no one has noticed how often I sit here to see her.

She finishes rehearsing, I grab my backpack and race to the parking lot to catch up with my friends.

Lottie, Gary, Lucas and Hope are waiting for me in front of Lottie's car.

"Bobbycakes, where were you?" Lottie looks annoyed, the others just get in the car.

“Sorry, Lottie. Mr. Hughes wanted to talk to me about my homework.”

My eyes move like magnets to her, like every single day. She has her dark brown hair tied up in a beautiful braid. Her green crop top matches her beautiful eyes perfectly. She laughs as she walks home with her best friend, Kassam. The two quickly bonded over their love for music and had being inseparable ever since.

“Bobby, are you listening?” Lottie brings me back to the real world, she looks angry. But decides to just get on the wheel. I walk into the passenger seat and turn to see her beautiful face one more time.

“Did you hear that this time it will be obligatory for us to participate in the school play this semester? It will directly impact our Drama class. ”

Everyone sighs in frustration.

“Why are we taking Drama again?” Asked Gary, clearly annoyed.

"Is mandatory this semester, an attempt by the school to make us more creative and versatile, or something like that." Says Hope, somewhat disinterested. After all, she is known for being good at whatever she does. She doesn't mind leaving her advanced math class for a semester in order to recite some lines.

"It wouldn't be a bad thing if I had to kiss that beautiful theater freak." Gary is smiling, definitely imagining himself in that situation. Gross.

“Alison Light?” Wow, Lucas seems to have been paying attention to her too.

"Hell yeah mate, she’s gorgeous." Lottie rolls her eyes, and Hope dramatically changes the conversation.

Alison Light, aka Sunny or Sunlight. (Or at least that's how I would call her if I had the guts to speak to her.) Everyone else calls her Ally, and I'm embarrassed to say that my friends call her theater freak.

There is a rumor, that Sunny's dad passed away 5 years ago. Her mom found a job in London, so they had to move from Scotland. Alison took refuge in music, which has always been what she loved the most, entered the choir, the school band, each play, whatever was involved with music, she did it. That's how she earned the ‘theater freak’ nickname from everyone else, especially, Lottie and Gary. Unfortunately, everyone listens to Lottie and Gary.

I came to school a year later. Lottie immediately thought I had the potential to belong to her group, to this day I have no idea why. She told me that if I wanted to belong, I had to be around people with potential, and when Sunny approached with vibrant eyes and a huge smile to introduce herself, Lottie pushed her to the side, and made fun of her for having a 'crush' on the new kid and behaving ‘desperate’.

I didn’t defend her. I followed Lottie down the hall, and didn't turn to see her even once.

Every day when I see her in the hallway I wonder why I chose a scary stranger instead of the girl with the most beautiful smile I have ever seen, and the conclusion makes me quite embarrassed.

I chose Lottie because I was tired of being the kid everyone made fun of regardless of the consequences, the one who was just a joke. The boy Caitlin Evans cheated on by pretending she wanted me to be her boyfriend just to humiliate me in front of the whole school. I saw the opportunity to be someone different, and I took it. Letting go not only poor and humiliated Bobby, but also the opportunity to meet Alison in the process.

The next day I walk with the boys to the auditorium. Most of the students are already there. The music is quite loud, and her perfect voice immediately reaches my ears. As we get closer I can finally see what's going on. Kassam and Alison are doing a duet of the song "Into the Unknown" which in my opinion is not easy to sing. I’m annoyed to admit that they sound perfect together. Their harmonies are beautiful and their notes are totally clean and well placed. All of us who do not normally belong to this class, have our mouths open.

“As you could hear, this class has talent to spare. I will not accept less than what I know you can give. Everyone will sing a part of the song you wrote me yesterday on the list.” Mr. Hudson loves music as much as Alison, and has been an important person in her life for the past few years. He has always been kind to me, and has invited me multiple times to participate in his plays due to my and i quote ‘charming personality ’.

Auditions started. Surprisingly my friends did a pretty decent job. I would not choose them as the protagonists but they were not bad.

I always wanted to try theater. I've been watching it for years, since I've never missed a play by Alison, no matter how delusional it sounds. And I always liked singing, but believe me or not, I have stage fright. Also, even if I sang, the chances of me beating Kassam in the lead are microscopic.

"McKenzie, let's go. I have a feeling you will do a good job, I am excited to hear you.” Mr. Hudson, I honestly hope I don't fall off the stage while I go up, for me that will already be a victory.

The music starts playing, but I am unable to open my mouth. I turn to meet her green eyes, which for the first time in years seem to speak to me. She tries to tell me to focus on her, and I do. The song starts again, and this time I manage to start singing the words, which sound more whispered than anything else.

"Of your kiss, your touch, your love" Sunny starts singing with me, everyone turns to see her, but she seems determined to help me sing this song. I remain somewhat fearful during the chorus, and she takes the second verse like a queen. Focusing on making me feel comfortable, still staring at my eyes and taking my hand.

Suddenly, she is the only thing I can see.

The connection I felt the first time I saw her feels stronger than ever as we dance together across the stage, our voices sounding perfect next to each other, like they're meant to fit together.

I'm definitely not half as good as Kassam is, but without a doubt my connection and chemistry with Sunny is much stronger, or at least that's what I want to believe. A man has to have hope. It was a magical moment, like when Troy and Gabriella meet and sing 'Start Of Something New' together. Don't judge me, I saw her with my sister Gemma.

The song ends and everyone is shocked. Lottie seems about to pass out, and Lucas looks at me in disbelief.

"I've found my stars." Mr. Hudson whispers, his eyes lit up.

"What? No way! They were supposed to be solos, not duets ” Lottie yells, clearly about to lose her patience.

"My decision is final. I've never seen so much chemistry, it's like they were meant to be together. ” Seems like I'm not the only one who thinks so. I knew Mr. Hudson was a smart guy.

"This work is going to be the best we have ever done, I assure you." Sunny blushes slightly, we are still holding hands, and I honestly don't feel like letting her go, but she starts to pull apart gently.

"Thank you, Sunny." I whisper, she looks at me with mischief in her green eyes. That's when I realize what I said. WE ARE NOT NEAR THE STAGE OF NICKNAMES, GOOD ONE IDIOT.

"Omg, I'm so sorry, Alison. I, You probably don’t even know my name and I’m calling you by a nickname, this is so embarrasing.” I start to mumble things that I don't understand myself.

She smiles at me, trying to calm me down. "It's okay, Bobby McKenzie. Professional joker, awesome baker, beautiful eyes. From Scotland, just like me.” She emphasizes my name, so I have no doubts that she knows who I am. And I almost passed out with the beautiful eyes thing. Fuck, she's so sweet.

“Sunny sounds adorable, I was getting tired of theater freak anyway. And like Mr. Hudson, I could see your full potential. You just needed a hand.”

I blush, hard. She likes it. Both the nickname and the fact that she made me blush. I can see it on her face.

Lottie grabs my arm and starts dragging me toward Hope to leave.

This time I don't let history repeat itself.

"I'll see you tomorrow... Sunny." I wink at her, trying to sound and look as cool as possible.

She smiles. "See you tomorrow, partner."

[fyeahmeddy]

Crows and Mice

Summary: Ash and Little Cato talk to their parental figures about new unknown feelings awakening inside them.

Words: 1677

In AO3

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

“Uh… dad?” asked Ash, awkwardly playing with her fingers.

“Yes, my dear?” replied Clarence, not taking his eyes off of the accounting papers he had in his table.

“I need advice with something” she said, shyly combing strands of hair with her fingers.

“All right but make it quick, please. I have numbers to check and business to close”

“What do you do when… you know… you are close to someone… and you feel your insides are fluttery and… your guts pulsate as if they were trying to escape your body and run away in a parade of fluids and blood?”

“If they really bother you that much, a laser into their skull should be enough. Here, have my handgun but use gloves” replied Clarence, handing the weapon to Ash but still more concentrated on his papers.

“Well, you see…” she said, lengthening her last word, “I thought of that but like…. I don’t wanna do it? Isn’t that weird? It’s pretty weird. I wish I could squish him but like… not to crush him. Do I even make sense? Hahaha what is this?” she roared with demonic voice.

“Oh! I see now, my dear” said Clarence, finally turning towards Ash. “You are reaching an age where your hormonal development messes with your mind, turning you into a mindless zombie of sappy foolery and depriving you of your best abilities. I suggest you forget about whoever puts you in such a useless trance. Just direct me to them and I’ll take care” he said, cocking his gun.

“If you hurt Mr. Yumsters, I swear for the most vicious gods of chaos, your soul will suffer the most unfathomable horrors any soul has ever confronted before!” replied Ash, hovering while embraced by a dark aura.

“Oh… I see, it’s the Little Cato. I expected this to happen to you but not with such an average specimen”.

“He’s really fluffy, ok?” said Ash, back to a less terrifying voice. “And like… he talks nice to me, he helps me, he taught me really nice things about guns”.

Clarence felt cornered. Ash was an asset too important for him (and the security of his business) to lose her to the weakening myths of love. But at the same time, hostility towards and from a conflicted teenager who could warp your mind into dimensions of eternal pain and doom was not a wise strategy. Allowing certain liberties to her would be more beneficial than banning them all together.

“Well, what do you expect me to say, darling? You are falling in… yuck, love”.

Ash stood still, paralyzed, with an awkward smile on her face. She then fell backwards, like a plank, still smiling.

“O. M. G”.

“You have all the symptoms of such sick- I mean, condition” said Clarence, in a defeated tone. “What are you gonna do now?”.

“I have no freaking idea”.

“You haven’t gone through this before?”.

Ash remained silent for a few seconds, scrutinizing in her memories. Everyone always had teased her about Jordan but that was entirely different, nothing like this, not even close to Little Cato.

“I don’t think I’ve had”.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Gary was gazing into the infinite extension of space through the window of the cockpit, caressing the Nymerian Cube in his hands, when he heard the door behind him opening.

“Hey there, Thunder Bandit!”

Gary put the cube back inside his jacket and greeted the young ventrexian.

“What’s up, my Spider-Cat?” he said to Little Cato, with a wide smile.

“Well, you see… I wanted to ask you something. You are so… adult and wise”.

“I love the complimenting, boy” he said with pride. “But let’s keep it at adult, barely”.

“Anyways, so… there’s this… person…” said Little Cato, dragging his sentences, avoiding eye contact with Gary.

“Ha! Say no more! Is the thingie-thing witch, isn’t it?”.

Little Cato was taken by surprise, but finally managed to exclaim:

“Deeeeeeehhh” with a smile.

Gary laughed and ruffled the ventrexian’s punk hair.

“So Cupid has finally hit an effective laser shot into your chest, uh?”.

“I don’t know… I-I guess. I feel new things, and dad was never able to talk to me about them”.

Both Gary and Little Cato felt a pinch on their hearts at the remembrance of Avocato, especially in a moment when he felt so necessary. But Gary had made a promise and for all the stars in the universe he would keep it.

“Hey, come here” said Gary, offering his legs for Little Cato to sit on. The ventrexian took the invitation and jumped onto the human.

“Oof! Wow, you are heavier than I expected” said Gary. “Well, tell me. What’s troubling you, kiddo?”.

“I never felt like I do with Ash. I feel like I can talk about a lot of things with her. To be honest sometimes it feels like she’s not listening but at least she lets me ramble on and on. She’s very nice with me, she’s been combing my hair for days”.

“Oh! So that’s why you’ve been looking even better than before” complimented Gary.

“I like to help her. She feels like… like me. She also talks with me a lot. It feels good when we help each other. Is this what… falling in love feels like? What do I do?” said Little Cato, his last sentence rather a cry for help.

“Chokity!” said Mooncake, entering into the conversation.

“What the hell, Mooncake? You don’t say that to a child! What-? What’s wrong with you?” said Gary, scolding Mooncake for his lousy mouth. “Anyways, you gotta stare into her soul. You have to enter in there, no matter the spiders, crows and other dark stuff you find there. If you can look into that and feel little mice rattling inside your guts, then you’ll know”.

“Is that how it went with Quinn?” asked Little Cato.

“Ohoho! You have no idea! When I met her, it was like fireworks exploding inside me, obliterating my internal organs to make space for all the love I feel for her, like a supernova swallowing an entire system” said Gary with a smirk. “I know I didn’t make the best first impression but… just before she left, I could see it in her eyes. It was like a smile warming my heart”.

“So… I should look into her eyes and look for something?”.

“No! Not look for. It just appears. Sometimes you see something, sometimes you feel something, sometimes you smell something!”.

“Chokity!”.

“Mooncake! What is that? Do I have to clean your mouth with soap?” replied Gary, later returning his attention to the boy in his lap. “Anyways, it’s different for everyone. Just follow your heart, go at your pace, it’s a process”.

“A process, uh?” asked Cato to himself, trying to remember if any of the things Gary had said had already happened in his moments with her.

XxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxXxX

Little Cato spent some time in his room after talking with Gary, pondering on what he told him and what he was really feeling. The word “process” was stuck in his head. At some point he realized how thirsty he was and decided to head for the kitchen. He walked looking at the ground, still thinking, when he bumped onto something when turning into a new hallway.

“Who dares to disrupt me?” he heard someone groaning with mystic voice, but it quickly soothed. “Oh, Mr. Yumsters! H-hi there!” said Ash, now embarrassed.

“H-hey! Sorry for, uh… bumping into you. I was distracted” said Little Cato, fighting the awkwardness as he stood up.

“What were you thinking about?” asked Ash.

Little Cato tried to come up with a lie, something that didn’t give away his conflicted feelings, but then he looked at her smiling, waiting for an answer. He looked into her eye as Gary told him. He didn’t see, feel or smelled anything special, nothing different than before. But he felt calm, there was no awkwardness when looking at her, just like in the moments they spent together since the incident at Serpentis.

Ash went through something similar. It was when they were apart that her mind jumped to thoughts of doubt and uncertainty, but whenever they were close everything felt better. It wasn’t nothing like those moments near Jordan, in which her heart raced like crazy. When she was near Little Cato her heart felt at peace.

“I was just thinking…” started Little Cato. “When I spend time with you, I feel… good. And I wanted to thank you for it”.

“R-Really? Because… I… kinda… feel the same with you. What a weird connection, uh? You’ve really helped me feel better after… my sister and stuff”.

“You’ve also helped me with… everything that’s been happening lately. I don’t know how to call this. I’ve never been this close to someone aside from my dads- my dad and Gary!” he quickly corrected himself.

“Me neither” confessed Ash. “It’s like, with my little sister, we used to talk a lot and stuff but… you are not my brother. Or are you?” she asked with suspicion.

“If you allow me” said AVA from the speakers above, “I think the concept you are looking for is ‘friendship’. A strong sentiment of belonging and intimacy with another person that doesn’t necessarily include romantic attraction”.

“Little Cato!” exclaimed HUE, clumsily walking into the scene, “I think the feelings you are experiencing could be defined as-“.

“Too late, turtle” said AVA.

“I hate you, AVA!” replied HUE, frustrated and stomping on the ground.

“So… friends! That makes sense” said Little Cato. “I have never really had a friend before”.

“OMG! That explains a lot!” exclaimed Ash, excited. “Never had friends either. Everyone at school was afraid of me for making dolls with bones I found in the graveyard” she said, letting out a laugh after.

“Well… as long as you don’t use my bones, you can count on me” said Cato, offering his hand to Ash.

“Oww” said Ash, “but ok! I won’t touch your bones” said Ash, shaking hands with her new friend.

[vegandoughnut]

PART 5: Are You Kitting Me?

"You're good to go, Anekke" says Stephen, scribbling on his clipboard as if he were actually using it for something. Anekke frowns.

"I can't just finish the hour?" She presses, nearly pouting.

"Fine but make sure you clock out on the dot. I just don't have the patience this evening" Stephen says, voice laden with an exhaustion that doesn't even make sense. Anekke continues to spray some of the food prep surfaces with the natural mint scented surface cleaner and wipes with the cleaning rag.

Humbert hums in a whiny pitch as he adds the finishing touches to another serving of the Fall Special. Black anise waffles, vibrant orange pumpkin ice cream, chocolate chips and raisins, cat face drawn with chocolate or molasses. The ingredients seem to have plastered themselves all over Anekke's brain. She mutters them to herself as she cleans.

"What's that?" Comes Humbert's voice.

She ignores him, almost laughing with relief when Kitt joins them behind the counter. Kitt looks tired, with dark circles forming under her eyes. She flashes a smile to counter it.

"You need a coffee" Anekke says.

"You've never been more right" Kitt replies, picking up the staff french press off the ceramic hot plate, and pouring herself a mug of aromatic medium roast. "I have like five minutes to snag Gary Nygard's autograph but I just can't bring myself to. This is a once in a lifetime thing. Like. He's going back to Finland at some point. The band doesn't even tour anymore. Today literally feels like a weird dream and I don't know how to move. Like I'm walking through invisible cake batter or something"

"This is not a therapy session. You have a customer Kittie" says Humbert. Kitt sucks her teeth before turning to face the rest of the cafe to take a customer's order.

"You know we already have a supervisor and a manager right?" Anekke says through clenched teeth. Even if Humbert had said it to Kumlyun instead of Kitt, she would still jump in on the defense. She was getting tired of Humbert's antics, and was glad she'd be going home soon.

Humbert grunts and gets back to putting together a catering box.

"Wow" says Anekke, shaking her head.

A customer walks up to the bar holding Salem, the chill black cat purred softly in his arms. He orders an oat milk vanilla shake. She let's Kitt take that order, then goes back to cleaning, annoyed that earlier Kumlyun had implied the mess was made by her, when really it was probably Harper who was often sloppy with the food prep and forgetful of cleaning up. But at least she made Kumlyun look bad by implying she came in on her day off on purpose.

Finally some serenity blankets the cafe when all the customers are seated and eating, drinking or petting or feeding the cats they were paired with. Anekke quickly checks her pocket planner and crosses off a few things she remembered to do.

Memorize the recipe for the blueberry muffins by heart. Check. Disinfect the sink. Check. Renew library checkouts online. Check. Schedule a dentist appointment for next week. Check. Organize the discarded customer cards into her little file folder. Check.

"Anekke"

Anekke nearly jumps out of her skin when Kitt places a hand on her shoulder from behind.

"You scared me Kitt" she says, stealthily shrugging out from under her hand.

"I seem to do that for a lot of people" she says with a frown. "Anyway, what time are you leaving? so I know when to mentally prepare for the next few grueling hours behind this counter"

"Honestly just 30 minutes to go" says Anekke, taking a sneaky bite of the energy bar she hid in her half apron.

"Okay. Thanks" says Kitt.

Carl turns to look at the counter and smiles warmly when he coincidentally catches Anekke's eye. She smiles back quickly but goes back to her resting face just as soon.

"Hey Carl, want to cover for me real quick?" Kitt calls from the bar, undoing her waist apron.

Carl walks over immediately, and almost trips over a feathered pet toy but regains his balance without much embarrassment. Anekke watches intently. Still nervous, that one.

"You'll be working with the pretty blond, she should have no problem drawing in lots of orders so you can take a few pointers" says Kitt to Carl. Anekke's head spins upon hearing the strange sentence, and she wonders what Kitt was really saying. She had to force herself not to spiral into the whirlpool forming inside of her. What does she mean? What does that mean? Is it face value? Is there a joke or jab hidden in the arrangement of the words? Why does Kumlyun complain so much? Does Kumlyun whisper lies about Anekke to Kitt? Is Kitt trustworthy? Is Kitt priming Carl against her? She said "pretty blond". Maybe she should go to HR about Kitt. That'll make things make sense.

Carl and Kitt switch places. Carl ties a waist apron on and picks up a few beechwood mixing spoons. Why?

"Break a leg" Anekke tells Kitt who walks carefully towards Gary Nygard. Kitt flashes a confident cheese smile before heading straight for the Special Guest, the charming gothic rock star who had been in the cafe since before noon.

Anekke had thought he'd looked familiar, then realized he was a member of a band that had been really popular back when she was in high school. Yuck, she thinks, picturing those cringey teenage years in her mind with distaste. It was hard to imagine Kitt was one of the spooky kids who were obsessed with vampires and fingerless gloves, but who would've imagined that "pretty blond" Anekke was a nerd with no friends? The one who, even if she tried to make a joke, it came off as awkward or distasteful? Why were these things bothering her so suddenly?

20 minutes pass. Two customers came. Carl had watched eagerly when Anekke operated the waffle maker which she hated completely. The waffles would sometimes have holes in the outer pockets around the edges if the batter didn't spread perfectly. That's why she hated it.

"See you guys on Thursday" Anekke says, gathering her khaki trench coat, personal mug and backpack. It was without really looking at anyone in particular.

A few co-workers say bye in friendly voices. Why so friendly? Do they think she's stupid? Childish?

Then Carl says, "thanks for the tip about the waffle maker. I'm sure people prefer a perfect waffle over the skeleton of one" he says with a warm smile, trying to make her laugh probably. Anekke nods then goes out the door, relieved beyond words.

Kitt pulls her fingers through her dreads, which were the color of fallen leaves--- the characteristic Autumn hue between plum and red. She felt just slightly embarrassed to meet one of her teenage rock idols looking like a millennial-barista-spoken-word-slam-night-attendee-who-keeps-a-million-potted -succulents-around-their-house person, but so it goes. Some of teen-life's craziest caterpillars emerged from their cocoons as less stand-outy butterflies.

But there he was. Gary Nygard looking exactly the same, though less dressy, as she remembered during the heyday of Finnish metal's popularity in her generation. Jetty curtains of hair. The cozy cat skull sweatshirt over the pants with the boots. Gosh his legs were so perfectly thin. Kitt shakes her head.

"Darling" Nygard's voice steals Kitt's attention as he strokes just under the fuzzy siamese cat Sandra's chin. He is smiling slightly. "Is all well?" he says nodding towards her, like he could sense her trepidation, "this is a lovely place, beautiful really. Tell your boss, see, to keep doing whatever he or she is doing to keep it going. The cats are so dear, and you, all of you, have been lovely hosts"

He's so sweet and down to earth and candid and Scandinavian and beautiful and what inspired that song.... and will the band ever get back together and what does he do now that the band is... omg stop brain, stop it.... Kitt thinks.

"How long has the place been running for? It seems like a very hip sort of thing, an import, from Japan maybe... lovely country, Japan. They're very nice there" he continues as Sandra squirms and scratches at his sweater. But Gary Nygard is on to the silly cat, trying to distract her by scratching behind her ears while her head is turned in the opposite directions.

Kitt's mouth opens and closes. She blinks a mile a minute yet there's no wind in her face.

"Just a few years" Kitt responds, finding her composure again and holding onto it for dear life. "Yeah cat cafes, well, themed cafes in general, seem to be way more popular over there. This is kind of a knock---"

"A knock-off, but very nice" he finishes for her with a chuckle. He scratches his head then throws back the last of his green smoothie, Sandra sitting snugly nuzzled into his side on the velvet highback chair. Kitt watches the bob of his Adam's apple as he swallows the drink, the pale white of his throat exposed and blinding.

Suddenly she forgets that she can language, and just clasps and un-clasps her hands.

"It was lovely. Truly" he says, getting up from the chair. All 5'10 of him. Sandra scampers off across the cafe to bother some of the other kitties. "Kittie? Was that your name? Good girl" he mutters, pulling on his faux fur jacket. Kitt stands there dumbly.

She is frozen as he crosses the room towards the front door. She pretends to go fix tables near there then discreetly says, "wait. Sorry just a minute"

He stops and turns to face her, pulling a dark grey beanie over his hair and looking more and more like a mysterious pedestrian, becoming less and less real at the same despite. He was crossing the threshold of Kitt's world, reality, back into the far away world of teen angst nostalgia and dreams come true and old fires doused.

"I was a big fan when I was high school..." she says, quietly, softly, only he could hear.

He grins. A warm and genuine smile that touches his eyes that turn up slightly at the outer corners, like a cat's. He hands her his VIP customer lanyard and tag with his name and personality notes on there in his real life, almost-neat handwriting. The one thing customers usually toss.

"Thank you for today, Kittie" he says, with a brief, too light pat on her shoulder.

Then he's out the door.

Just like that.

A dream.

[professorwerewolfmcwerewolf]

ADD/ADHD Group Therapy...

So I’m currently trying to get myself diagnosed with ADD because I know I have it and I really need medication. But these people wanted to know if I’d be interested in group therapy for some of their ADD/ADHD patients. Now I’m okay with group therapy, especially when it’s people who have the same or similar mental illnesses as me. 

But can you imagine....

A group therapy session formed completely of people with ADD/ADHD....

“How about everyone introduce yourself? And tell us what is one thing you love.” 

“Uh, my name is Abigail. I really love Broadway-”

“Omg, Do you know Rent?”

“Yes! I’d love to play Mimi!”

“Ooo has anyone seen that show, Marlon?”

“I have. It’s funny but he needs to quit dissing Harry Potter.”

“Omg! I love Harry Potter! Ravenclaw Pride!”

“Yes! I’m a Ravenclaw too!”

“Y’all know magic isn’t real right?”

“Ooo, do y’all know who Mat Franco is?”

“I love him!”

“Isn’t that the guy in the Now You See Me movies?”

“No, that’s Dave Franco.”

“I love the Now You See Me movies! Especially the second one! It’s weird seeing Daniel Radcliffe as a bad guy.”

“Siriusly.” (stop judging me)

“He’s such a great actor! Did you know that in Order of the Pheonix, when Sirius fell into the veil and Harry was practically broken-”

“I think we were all broken. Gary Oldman did such a great job playing Sirius.”

“For real. Anyway, you know how Harry starts going towards him but Lupin grabs him and Harry screams?”

“Yeah.”

“The reason it’s muted is because Daniel’s scream was so agonizing that they couldn’t leave it unmuted.”

“Well I mean you’d been playing a certain character since you were eleven, I’m pretty sure you would be convincing in their emotions.”

“True.”

And so on and so on. 

And this just a conversation with myself basically. I’m from Mississippi so it’d probably be a lot more frustrating because everyone would be talking about different things and we’d all want everyone else to listen to what we were saying and it would be a competition of interrupting and such. It would be very chaotic. 

Plus those with ADHD would be constantly tapping, dancing, getting up and walking around, touching things, playing with people’s hair, randomly singing/humming, and/or making noises at random points.

I mean, by myself I just went from 

Broadway 

to Rent 

to Marlon

to Harry Potter and Ravenclaw Pride

to Mat Franco 

to Dave Franco 

to Now You See Me 

to Daniel Radcliffe

back to Harry Potter

to Gary Oldman (briefly) 

back to Daniel’s acting skills

to understanding how Daniel is so talented.

[kdollmarie23]

Haven't done one of these in awhile

This could be fun or extremely sad 1: Name• keisha 2: Age • twenty freaking six 3: 3 Fears • spiders, car accident, heights 4: 3 things I love• animals, cosmetology, singing 5: 4 turns on• tattoos, androgyny, intelligence, manners, thighs. 6: 4 turns off• drugs, no sense of direction, mean, 7: My best friend• my cat and dog lol…. wow that sounds lame. 8: Sexual orientation• bisexual 9: My best first date• I’ll never tell 😽 10: How tall am I • 5'3" 11: What do I miss• free health insurance 12: What time was I born • midnight 13: Favorite color• green 14: Do I have a crush• yea 15: Favorite quote• idk 16: Favorite place• anywhere near the ocean 17: Favorite food• Thai 18: Do I use sarcasm• pretty much everything I say is sarcastic 19: What am I listening to right now• some weird ass movie on the tv. 20: First thing I notice in new person• their hair, what they’re wearing, and their smile. 21: Shoe size• 7 ½-8 22: Eye color• hazel brown/green lol 23: Hair color• right now it’s cool copper/ brown 24: Favorite style of clothing• feminine polished grunge 25: Ever done a prank call? Not since 8th grade 27: Meaning behind my URL• at one point I was loveable, and I also loved cupcakes 28: Favorite movie• dirty love and beaches 29: Favorite song• you’re not alone by Saosin 30: Favorite band• the used and knuckle puck 31: How I feel right now• mehhh 32: Someone I love• my girlfriend 33: My current relationship status• in a relationship 34: My relationship with my parents• complicated 35: Favorite holiday• Halloween 36: Tattoos and piercing i have• 7 tattoos, ear piercing and Monroe 37: Tattoos and piercing i want• nipples and lighthouse haha 38: The reason I joined Tumblr• to keep in touch Jainna, and find cool pictures for my myspace that no one else had back in middle school 😹 39: Do I and my last ex hate each other? I don’t hate her. 40: Do I ever get “good morning” or “good night ” texts? Yea, my gf gets up way earlier than me and texts me “good morning” around the time I wake up. Haha it’s cute. 41: Have I ever kissed the last person you texted? That would be my boss, and heck no. 42: When did I last hold hands? I few minutes ago ❤ 43: How long does it take me to get ready in the morning? It feels like it takes for freaking ever, I need a good 2-3 hours or else I look like a monster. 44: Have You shaved your legs in the past three days? Surprisingly yes! Although I wish I hadn’t because it’s fucking cold out. 45: Where am I right now? In my living room. 46: If I were drunk & can’t stand, who’s taking care of me? I would be home and in bed If that were the case. I don’t trust anyone lol 47: Do I like my music loud or at a reasonable level? Loud 48: Do I live with my Mom and Dad? Neither since I was 15. 49: Am I excited for anything? I’m excited for the two news jobs I just started. I am now a freaking talent director for a modelingagency lol and back to doing hair! 50: Do I have someone of the opposite sex I can tell everything to? No 51: How often do I wear a fake smile? Pretty much every day if I’m working hahaha 52: When was the last time I hugged someone? Today 53: What if the last person I kissed was kissing someone else right in front of me? I unfortunately wouldn’t be shocked at this point. 54: Is there anyone I trust even though I should not? Yes 55: What is something I disliked about today? I had a good day today. 56: If I could meet anyone on this earth, who would it be? Uhmm… I’d like to meet a pleiadian in human form, if they don’t exist, then I’d like to meet Britney Spears lol 57: What do I think about most? Lately my career path, family, and making my relationship work. 58: What’s my strangest talent? I can sing and do the splits! Hahaha is that strange enough? 59: Do I have any strange phobias? Fucking spiders…. ugh…. 60: Do I prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it? Both 61: What was the last lie I told? I have no idea, prolly that I wasn’t hungry or some shit lol 62: Do I prefer talking on the phone or video chatting online? Video chatting is becoming a lot more fun, but phone if my hair isn’t done. 63: Do I believe in ghosts? How about aliens? Ghosts idk, aliens yes 64: Do I believe in magic? What kind? 65: Do I believe in luck? Idk I just broke a mirror so….. 66: What’s the weather like right now? Cold as fuck in march 67: What was the last book I’ve read? #GIRLBOSS 68: Do I like the smell of gasoline? Not really 69: Do I have any nicknames? Kiwi 70: What was the worst injury I’ve ever had? I have never really been injured by anything…. oh, actually, Dorothy from my 5th class kicked me in the shin while playing soccer in gym class and that felt awful…. like thinking back I can still feel it. Ouch. 71: Do I spend money or save it? I freaking LOVE spending money, but I know I need to save it because I’m an adult and I need to be responsible. 72: Can I touch my nose with a tongue? Just tried, nope. 73: Is there anything pink in 10 feet from me? Oh yea 74: Favorite animal? Cats 75: What was I doing last night at 12 AM? Going over notes for my new job 76: What do I think Satan’s last name is? Uhm idk 77: What’s a song that always makes me happy when I hear it? I believe by nicko vega 78: How can you win my heart? I don’t have one anymore 79: What would I want to be written on my tombstone? I don’t know, always laugh or some shit 80: What is my favorite word? Namaste 81: My top 5 blogs on tumblr? There is more to Tumblr than just my page and my newsfeed???!! Lol 82: If the whole world were listening to me right now, what would I say? Everyone should stop eating like shit because processed foods cause cancer and you need more veggies so go try some! 83: Do I have any relatives in jail? Idk 84: I accidentally eat some radioactive vegetables. They were good, and what’s even cooler is that they endow me with the super-power of my choice! What is that power? Wow what timing, I would be able to go invisible 85: What would be a question I’d be afraid to tell the truth on? If I was attracted to them lol 86: What is my current desktop picture? My pets 87: Had sex? Well of course 88: Bought condoms? Yea, practicing safe sex is important. 89: Gotten pregnant? No 90: Failed a class? College class 91: Kissed a boy? Yeah 92: Kissed a girl? Yes yes yes, finally 93: Have I ever kissed somebody in the rain? Ya❤❤❤ 94: Had job? Yep 95: Left the house without my wallet? Prolly 96: Bullied someone on the internet? Lol yes 😞 sorry bout that 97: Had sex in public? Haha yea 98: Played on a sports team? Yes I was terrible 99: Smoked weed? Yea 100: Did drugs? No 101: Smoked cigarettes? Yes, I just quit yesterday 102: Drank alcohol? Yes 103: Am I a vegetarian/vegan? Multiple times, I love steak and burgers too much 104: Been overweight? I think I am now 105: Been underweight? Nope, I wish 106: Been to a wedding? Yes, I love weddings 107: Been on the computer for 5 hours straight? Today 108: Watched TV for 5 hours straight? Yes 109: Been outside my home country?Do the Bahamas count? 110: Gotten my heart broken? Unfortunately so 111: Been to a professional sports game?Like a legit football and hockey game, yes 112: Broken a bone? No 113: Cut myself?Ya 114: Been to prom? I actually went to 4 proms, 3 with the same guy and my senior prom with someone else 😸 I love dressing up. 115: Been in airplane?Yaaaaasssss 116: Fly by helicopter?No, but I've had sex in one .... secret never have I ever question! 117: What concerts have I been to?Omg sooo many! I love concerts 118: Had a crush on someone of the same sex? Oh yea 119: Learned another language?In the process 120: Wore make up?Everyday 121: Lost my virginity before I was 18? 16 lol 122: Had oral sex? I mean yea 123: Dyed my hair?Si 124: Voted in a presidential election?I did! I voted for Gary Johnson because there is no way in hell I was voting for Trump or Hillary 125: Rode in an ambulance?When I was six 126: Had a surgery?Tonsils removed 127: Met someone famous?Some band members and Delilah in NYC!!!! 128: Stalked someone on a social network?My secret crush 129: Peed outside?Only when I was camping or wasted 130: Been fishing? Yea, i suck at this, and deep sea fishing almost killed me.... I just like to lay out and tan and enjoy the scenery 131: Helped with charity?Yes, cuts for a cause and habitat for humanity 132: Been rejected by a crush? Yea, maybe I'm a weirdo, but now I have a gf so who cares 133: Broken a mirror? Yea I literally just broke one this week, and my week has been going great since, not gonna lie! 134: What do I want for birthday? A new car

[junker-town]

The people’s guide to Will Grier

The WVU quarterback has tremendous confidence in what he can do, which is good, because he can do a lot.

Thumbnail bio: Will Grier, redshirt junior quarterback for the West Virginia University Mountaineers. Stands 6’2 and weighs 214 pounds if he’s soaking wet, because he tends to skinny, despite growing up in North Carolina and attending school in Florida and West Virginia. If someone manages to stay thin after all that, that’s being an elite ectomorph.

Threw for 77 TDs at Davidson Day School, won a mess of national awards, and committed to Florida. Like every Florida quarterback since Tim Tebow, transferred to another school where he would thrive.

In his case, the move was not entirely voluntary. After leading the Gators to a 6-0 start in 2015, Grier tested positive for Ligandrol, a steroid that is banned by the NCAA, but not listed on the NCAA’s list of banned substances. Did you know the NCAA prohibits substances it doesn’t tell people are prohibited? College sports is not run by smart or kind people.

Grier served a year’s suspension, and under pressure from then-Florida coach Jim McElwain, transferred to West Virginia. McElwain recruited other quarterbacks, never really found one, and was fired, largely due to anemic offense. Grier threw for 3,490 yards and 34 touchdowns in 2017 at West Virginia and is off to a torrid start in 2018.

TL;DR: This worked out well for everyone except McElwain.

Hair: Was better last year when he had the Jesus locks, but still pretty nice. Has a beard because it’s 2018, he lives in West Virginia, and he’s a dad.

Photo by Rob Carr/Getty Images

2017 Will Grier

Other personal notes: Comes from a family of social media stars? His brother Nash has 9 million followers on Instagram, so Will is actually the disappointment in the family. Stop focusing on follow routes and start focusing on followers, Will.

Environment: Playing in a QB-friendly conference like the Big 12 is great, but Grier plays for Dana Holgorsen, which is doubly nice. Holgorsen is a former student of Mike Leach and coordinated scoreboard-rattling offenses at Texas Tech, Houston, and Oklahoma State. Holgorsen’s Hair Raid — nicknamed after Holgorsen’s flowing, Bill Murray-in-Kingpin coiffure — is an evolving mutation. It generally runs the ball more, but also tinkers with passing concepts, too. (Including a few NFL-type concepts, as noted by Chris Brown here.)

General type: A pocket-friendly but mobile QB who is, unlike a thousand other college quarterbacks, accurate, especially on short stuff like this from early in 2018’s Tennessee game.

short stuff

It is a different offense in a lot of ways, but on early downs, West Virginia likes to run quick-hit air raid staples like stick for easy yardage. Grier can happily dink and dunk all day long.

Comparisons: Tennessee coach Jeremy Pruitt said Grier reminded him of Johnny Manziel. He’s not quite the same kind of runner, but Grier has a good (but not cannon-quality) arm, can extend plays beyond the 5-second mark, and does it mostly for the benefit of his team.

No one gets ready to jump off the lip of the stadium when he takes off, is what we’re saying, even if it looks terrifying sometimes.

IT WORKED OUT IN THE END, WE PROMISE

Grier scrambled out of that possible disaster on second and 12, gained four yards, and stepped out of bounds to save a field goal attempt. It’s not panic-free game management, but it’s a functional concept.

Things that may upset you about Grier: Um ... if he’s off, he’ll do things like this.

MAGIC LEGS

Grier, like any QB, can be streaky, and when he’s cold, he tries to force the issue. A lot of college quarterbacks suffer from Magic Legs — they do not fully realize they are no longer the quickest person on the field, like they were in high school — and sometimes, this continues deep into a professional career.

See: all pro QBs who drift forever toward the sideline, waiting for someone, anyone to come open, unaware they can no longer just sidestep the linebackers barreling in to rodeo tackle them into the bench.

When Grier isn’t settled, he’ll miss throws like this shot at an open wheel route.

rushing

You can almost feel how bad he wanted that, and how quickly he saw that pre-snap, right? We all wanted it, man. That thing sailed like a lot of throws early in games, when a QB is just a little too excited.

Confident as hell in his arm and his receivers, he’ll force the issue when he probably shouldn’t.

forcing the issue

His accuracy at least turns a lot of potential disasters into mere incompletions. But because he can scramble and has confidence in his arm, Grier has a bigger menu of things to force. Sometimes that means trying to throw into double coverage in the endzone after escaping pressure, as he did in the Magic Legs clip earlier.

Sometimes he does this even without scrambling, though.

Triple coverage

That’s three orange jerseys around his receiver. There is a fine line between confidence and insanity. This is well over that line, which Grier occasionally straddles.

You got a pretty play as an intermission here? Yeah, because I’m about to talk about how awesome Grier is, and also just happened to make a GIF of this insanely beautiful draw West Virginia gets to run because Grier is such a threat in the passing game.

just a pretty draw play

But wasn’t there a hold on that play? There is a hold on every play. No one cares, including offensive linemen, who admit to holding on every play, too. Accept some beauty in your life without questioning too much, y’all.

Now let’s talk about how awesome Grier is when he does everything right.

Grier is awesome to watch, 1: He can make more than one read and hit open receivers underneath with ease.

taking the under

Such a clean and responsible young man, taking what the defense gives him and moving the chains for a first down. Combine that with the consistent accuracy, and Grier’s practically a savings bond between the 20s. Steady, unsexy, but reliable returns, opening up running lanes with the pass game, and keeping the poor defense on the field.

Grier is awesome to watch, 2: Quick-ass reads. This third-down conversion gets to the receiver on a greased rail, and the receiver can run through the catch.

That’s some Kurt Warner-y stuff, the quarterback I think of first as leading receivers so they got the ball in the flow of a play, not at a station-to-station exchange.

Grier is awesome to watch, 3: Infinite chill (when needed). A weather delay at the half of the Tennessee game must have relaxed WVU. When play resumed, the Mountaineers came out on fire, with Grier throwing for 275 yards and four scores on 16-of-19 passing in the second half.

Not all of those throws were uncontested. At the start of the fourth, West Virginia stood in its own end zone. With his feet in dangerous territory and a free rusher closing in, Grier does this on third and 11.

endzone pressure

Grier helped flip the field with a smart, composed, and accurate bullet 30 yards downfield. It almost looks easy, and it is anything but, but that’s what composure and a near-perfect mesh of system, plays, and players will do.

Grier is awesome to watch, 4: AAHHHHHHHHHHH OMG THAT THROW—

Just—

over the top where no one else can get it

—I mean—

ball placement

— FILTH, THIS IS JUST FILTH, GET THE MODS TO BAN ALL THIS SICK FILTH —

just what the fuck do you do

Take all this in before summing Grier up: Gary Jennings Jr. and David Sills V are excellent receivers, and the line looks like it’s going to be solid, and backs like Martell Pettaway make the offense work. There is a coaching staff dedicated to an aggressive style. The conference West Virginia plays in is notorious for its generosity.

I get that, and you get that, and anyone who watches football gets that.

I also get that there are only a few quarterbacks in college capable of dropping a backbreaking TD pass directly into the hands of a receiver not just over the back shoulder, but at the exact angle to make it indefensible. People talk about creating plays with the feet, but Grier can create throwing lanes simply through touch, trajectory, and velocity. An otherwise covered receiver is suddenly open.

He does not play perfect games, but no one will. But this system gives him plenty of chances to show out, because the Hair Raid, air raid, or whatever it gets called requires quarterbacks to throw 30, 40, and sometimes 50 times a game. This has been a place for so-called system QBs, even if it’s also been a place for serviceable NFL starters, and also Brandon Weeden.

But even with all the qualifiers, there is something really spectacular here. Unlike almost anyone else in college, he will make arguments to a defense that have no counter. For Grier, there will be three or four throws a game that are nothing less than pure evil, laced right through a defense doing everything it should be doing.

Anything else? Yeah, he’s a hopper. Just one of those QBs who really likes to jump a little in the pocket, looking for his man. Bouncy, like a kangaroo that can throw a wicked post pattern. Once you notice it, you will never unsee it.