#omg it's come full circle....

[merakiui]

after seeing skully's um.......... so we're all in agreement that he would affectionately call you pumpkin, right? :) you are his beloved pumpkin!!! his darling pumpkin pie! perhaps you might even be,,, the lovely candy apple of his eye! just,,, lots of autumn-themed endearments from him to you (on top of the gentlemanly ones "my lovely, my dear, my sweetheart, etc" and the halloween-themed ones hehe). <3 pumpkin is number one solely because of his um and my own delusions,,,

[mad-hunts]

the thing about barton and his own 'foil' as she should technically be considered, as she is technically the complete opposite of him in every way that matters, is that sumire [ whom i have talked about a few times on here, albeit briefly, so i will give you a brief refresher on her and that is that... her character eventually commits these killings based on the twelve main tarot cards in a deck based on them not fitting her idea of what 'perfect' looks like (kind of like barton BUT much different at the same time) ] and barton used to know each other as they were best friends as kids — even if it was only for a few years.

and as strange as this may sound, a broken promise between them was partially the catalyst behind what started her descent into feeling this need to 'judge' people, which is quite the coincidence as it may seem. because where do most of her victims end up dying? in these settings where she has set up these 'mock trials' for people. so, i know that i said i would talk about how barton had inadvertently created a monster a longgg time ago, but i now am sharing it with you all. because although one cannot blame barton fully for her actions as sumire, of course, has to take responsibility for them herself; but this did play a part in being a catalyst for her feeling all of this resentment and hatred for the world / people around her that led up to her first murder.

which, as you might have it, was the chariot: a tarot card that symbolizes revenge, willpower, and essentially tries to subconsciously put off this message that you are moving in the 'right direction.' i don't think it's so much just the promise itself though that makes this important — it's also that barton himself essentially forgot about the promise he made to sumire, as terrible as that may sound. it actually kind of gives you more insight as to what was going on in barton's mind as a kid because he basically made sumire promise him this: that, if he ever got on the 'wrong path,' that sumire would be there to show him a better one. and that she would attempt to reconnect with him if they ever got separated somehow / give him a sign of some kind that she was still there, so he could meet her.

and i say that this provides more insight because i haven't really gone into depth about this, but barton has expressed this idea in one roleplay on here. + that is that he didn't want to end up like this. however, regardless of that statement, there is no washing away of all of the heinous things he's done and he chose to do them anyway. i'm just thinking about how messed up it is that sumire, up until the point where she started her murders, had casually been searching for barton because the way in which his victims were found was vaguely remiscent of the way that wesley used to kill his victims. + this meant that he was definitely on the wrong path and she would eventually end up on the wrong one too.

[wrathchvld]

it’s funny because I KNEW like a good while ago I’d obsess over sting eventually. I had a pretty big crow/brandon lee obsession a few years ago after I’d watched it, still absolutely love that movie but I stumbled across sting while looking through media of it once and was like.. now who’s thisss??

[bugeyedfreaks]

I work at spirit halloween, We have powerpuff girls costumes, Unfortunately it's the reboot design but they're also just....so cursed I sorta love them

Aww, bummer! I guess their grim presence is at least on theme for Halloween times.

I remember when Spirit had a ton of OG PPG stuff the year before they announced they were making Dance Pantsed (at the time I had a feeling they were testing to see if PPG merch would still sell so they could make a new series or do a special… kind of like they’re doing now… ~foreboding~…). I snagged a Mojo candy bag (that I still have!) because I was stunned they were actually selling something with him on it!

[whimperaudioconnoisseur]

screaming crying throwing up over the love letters between virginia woolf and vita sackville-west

[soli-floris]

Hi can I request Jeremiah for the Valentines thing? I'll kinda leave it up to you I just like the way you write him! Location ideas I guess Valentine's feels a lot like something more private at home kind of thing but if they go out maybe photobooth, forest hike, lakeside, stargazing, maybe hot spring, the generic getting away alone together places lol

🥰🥰🥰🥰 GOOD MORNING WHEN YOU SEE THIS :DDDD

let it be known that your wish is my command <3333 anything for my girl <33

[merakiui]

I would love to read more about your Octavinelle aquarium captivity idea, if you were to ever turn it into a fic 🥰

Aaaaaa I would love to!!! I'm happy to know you would be interested in reading more of this concept. Funnily enough, that plot is loosely based on the plot for a yandere merman oc of mine. <3

[thelasttaleofthepari]

If you told me Sophie would be Lady Fos-Boss with Oralie and BRONTE helping her while Kenric's dead I would have laughed at your face

[hauntingblue]

Franky wiping señor pink's tears so they don't see it... so manly so honorable

[a-passing-storm]

I literally cannot stop thinking about The Sea Change by Neil Gaiman.

[ranna-alga]

Different country myth but might I also raise you;

Arthur and Mary are Lancelot and Guinevere from Arthurian legend/folklore.

Lancelot being King Arthur's most loyal knight but falls in love with the Queen Guinevere and the two have a forbidden/secret love affair, their loyalty and faith to the most important man in their lives (King Arthur, an allegory for both Dutch and Mary's father) being put to the test. Tragically, Guinevere and Lancelot's affair gets discovered and whilst Lancelot is forced to escape, unable to save Guinevere despite trying to, she is condemned to burn at stake. Lancelot attempts to rescue her by killing several of King Arthur's knights in the process. In the end, Guinevere survives,  but instead lives the rest of her life in a nunnery. As for Lancelot, he spends the rest of his days as a desolate hermit.

After "Mary and Arthur are Odysseus and Penelope" I raise you "Mary and Arthur are Odysseus and Calypso" and most importantly, Mary is Orpheus and Arthur is Eurydice. If you get it you get it.

And John/Abigail/Jack are also lowkey Odysseus/Penelope/Telemachus coded. Or rather Hector/Andromache/Astyanax, taking into account their tragedy.

And then Dutch is just Zeus. And yes I have been listening to Epic the musical and Hadestown.

[wholoveseggs]

Kinktober - {Day Seven} {<- kinktober masterlist}

18+ ---- {Masterlist} {Tag-List} {Kinktober}

{Kol Mikaelson x Klaus Mikaelson x Elijah Mikaelson x F!Reader} Request {Anon}: hiii omg im so ready for ur kinktober!! i wanted to request a poly mikaelson fic w overstim n maybe praise n daddy kink. maybe like theyre all hunting or something and come across r who is a princess away from the castle and is like she’ll do anything to stay alive or something n then maybe gets fucked by the mikaelsons 🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️ sort of like how lucien was found, but not? hahahaha

~ Hiii sweet anon, unfortunately I totally forgot about the princess aspect of your request... but you are certainly their princess in spirit??? I hope you like it! ~

1.5k words - Kinks: praise kink, overstim, daddy kink, foursome...

To be theirs, was to be loved, and you knew that well enough. You'd been with them for centuries, and though at times, they'd be the death of you, they'd be your saviors just as often.

Tonight, you needed them, your body humming with a desire that you weren't sure you'd be able to satisfy on your own. So, you called out to all three of them, wondering who would arrive first, knowing full well, that they would all come running.

The first to arrive was Elijah, and you didn't bother to get up from the bed when he did. He smiled, taking in the sight of your naked, quivering form, and his clothes were off before you'd even managed to greet him. You let out a small gasp as his skin met yours, his hands roaming every inch of your body, his lips soon following.

Kol was the next, already undressed before he entered the room and you giggled a little at his eagerness. He didn't hesitate to climb onto the bed and kiss you, his tongue invading your mouth as Elijah kissed down your chest and stomach, his hands running along your thighs.

Klaus was the last to join, visibly annoyed that everyone got started without him. You looked over to him, batting your eyelashes innocently, and he softened, stripping his clothes and climbing into bed, his hand tangling in your hair as he pressed a kiss to your cheek.

You'd been with them long enough that you didn't have to say anything, and they each knew exactly what you wanted, what you needed. Their touches were gentle, and their mouths left goosebumps wherever they traveled.

Since Elijah was first to arrive, he was first to be inside of you, and he took his time, his cock pressing slowly into you until you were filled to the brim. Kol's mouth was on your breasts, his fingers rolling your nipple between them, while Klaus kissed along your neck and jaw.

"Such a good girl," Klaus cooed in your ear, positioning his cock near your lips.

You moaned softly, opening your mouth and letting him slide inside. It was hard not to smile around his length, his taste familiar and comforting. Elijah's pace had already quickened, his breath shaky, as his thrusts pushed you further onto Klaus.

"So gorgeous," Kol mumbled against your chest, "Our beautiful girl."

Your moans were muffled by Klaus's cock, and you could tell by the way his hand clenched around the base of your neck that he was enjoying it.

Kol reached down between you, his thumb rubbing circles on your clit, and you pulled away from Klaus and moaned, his cock twitching at the sudden absence of your mouth.

"Please," You whimpered, looking up at Elijah.

He shook his head and smiled, keeping a steady pace, not quite giving you the satisfaction that you sought. You let out a frustrated moan, and he chuckled.

"Try again," he whispered.

You pouted, your cheeks becoming warm, you knew the magic word that would have him doing anything you wanted.

"Please, daddy," you said breathlessly, and the effect was immediate, his hips stuttering, his eyes falling shut, and his grip tightening on your thighs.

"Oh, fuck," Kol murmured, "I think she broke him."

You giggled, looking up at Elijah and raising your eyebrows, knowing exactly what the effect that one word had on him. His eyes opened, and he looked down at you, smiling softly before his expression changed, his eyes darkening.

His hips moved faster, his thrusts rougher, and the pressure that was building inside of you grew, a tingling sensation running through you. Kol's thumb still teased your clit, and you could barely catch your breath between the moans that escaped you.

Klaus's cock was back in your mouth, his hips thrusting in a rhythm that matched Elijah's. The three of them had worked out a system, a perfect dance, and you couldn't help but feel so overwhelmed by the pleasure they brought you.

They could tell you were overwhelmed, your legs shaking and your eyes welling with tears, and they slowed down, their touches lighter, their voices soft.

"Are you okay, sweetheart?" Klaus asked, and you nodded.

"Too much," you mumbled.

"Nooo," they all said at once, and you laughed.

"You can do it, baby, I know you can." Kol insisted, and the others nodded in agreement.

Elijah's hips began to move again, this time at a slower pace, and his fingers tangled in your hair, gently guiding your mouth back to Klaus's cock.

"There we go, such a good girl." Klaus praised, and you whined, his words pushing you closer to the edge.

You looked up at him, your eyes wide and teary, and he smiled softly. His hands cupped your face, wiping away the tears that spilled over.

"So fucking beautiful," He mumbled, "And all ours."

"Ours," Elijah and Kol agreed, and the way their voices seemed to surround you was intoxicating.

Elijah groaned, his pace faltering slightly before he buried himself inside of you, and you moaned, the sensation of his release bringing you closer to yours.

You loved watching them come undone, the way their expressions changed and the sounds that they made, the way their hands reached for you, pulling you closer. It was all so beautiful, and you wished you could freeze time, and live in this moment forever.

You watched as Elijah pulled away, sitting back on his heels, his eyes taking in the sight of you. You didn't have much time to admire him before Kol took his place, pulling you like a ragdoll into his lap. You gasped at the feeling of his length easing into you. His hands gripped your hips tightly, and you moaned, burying your face in his shoulder.

"Our sweet little love," Kol hummed, and you couldn't stop the whimper that left you, "Such a good girl."

The feeling of him inside you, combined with his words, pushed you over the edge, and he grinned. Your body shaking in his arms as you cried out his name.

"So good, sweetheart," Kol groaned, his hand caressing your back, "Just one more, yeah? Can you do that for me, darling?"

You nodded, letting out a shaky breath, and he smiled, pulling you closer.

"Use your words, we can't have you passing out on us," Elijah said, and you giggled, they had accidentally done that to you in the past by pushing you too far, and they didn't want that happening again.

"I'll be okay, daddy," You said, looking over at him and giving him a smile, "I want more."

Kol laid back on the bed, his hands still holding your hips as he thrust upwards into you. You let out a groan, the knot in your stomach growing, and your moans became louder and more frequent.

"That's our girl," Kol cooed, his eyes watching the expressions of pleasure cross your face.

"So pretty," Klaus added, he stood on the bed beside you, his cock back in your mouth.

It was becoming too much, and you could feel tears welling in your eyes. You looked up at Klaus, blinking back the tears and trying to convey what you wanted, and he smiled down at you.

"Let go, darling," He said, his thumb caressing your cheek, "We're right here."

The moment you were given permission, you felt yourself fall apart, the knot snapping, your legs shaking as Kol continued to fuck you, pushing you further into oblivion. Elijah's hand ran gently over your back, whispering soft praises, and the feeling of his lips on your skin was grounding.

Klaus's cock twitched in your mouth, and you looked up at him, smiling innocently as you watched him come undone. You swallowed down his release, enjoying the way his head fell back, his hands clenching in your hair.

"Fucking gorgeous," Klaus breathed, letting go of you and laying down on the bed, breathing heavily.

Kol was next, and you could feel him throbbing inside of you, his thrusts sloppy, his grunts turning to moans.

"Fuckkkk," he groaned, his cum spilling inside of you.

Your body was limp, and if it weren't for Elijah, who was behind you, his arms wrapped around your waist, you'd have fallen forward onto Kol.

"We've got you, my love," Elijah whispered, kissing your neck, "Are you alright?"

"Mmhmm," you managed, your eyelids growing heavy.

Elijah lifted you off of Kol, pulling you on top of him, you rested your head on his chest, listening to the sound of his heartbeat, your body still trembling. He wrapped his arms around you, kissing the top of your head.

Klaus and Kol moved in, one on either side, each of them placing a hand on your back, a reassuring weight.

"Did you get what you needed, darling?" Klaus asked, and you hummed a quiet affirmation.

Sleep soon came, and the four of you laid together, the silence broken only by the sound of soft snores. To be shared by the three of them was bliss, and there was nothing more satisfying than to be theirs, and for them to be yours.

{<- kinktober masterlist}

[eraserbread]

omg. i love horny pregnant wife so much. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE more with nanami or toji🙏 you’re such a talented writer ily

you're seeing sides to your husband, nanami, that you didn't even know existed... until three months ago when you found out he got you pregnant.

creeping into the second trimester, your body is in constant aching pain -- it starts in your abdomen, sometimes, morphing into cramps in your lower back as your belly begins to bulge.

it's knocked you into needing to waddle everywhere you go, and stuck in bed when he's not around.

but, this morning, he is around. you wake up alone, the sun is bright, and the air smells like miso and eggs. kento knows it's all you've been wanting to eat lately, so he wakes up early on his day off to make it for you.

his back is turned to you when you waddle into the kitchen, feet dragging in your house shoes over the cold floor. ken stands shirtless, standing at the stove, stirring a pot of soup -- it awakens something within you.

you're left staring in the doorway, swallowing down the thickness of absolute, carnal, bodily need.

you can't even find the strength to speak, all of the life you had is rushing between your thighs, burning you alive. biting your lip, you cross your knees.

of course, he notices you after a second, drawn in by the savory, familiar smell of you behind the waft of miso. kento peeks over his shoulder.

"love, you should have stayed in bed."

"why?" your whisper is fucked already, rasping and grating in your throat.

"because your body needs rest. doctor's orders." then he's turning around, steaming bowl of miso cradled in his grip.

you're sweating, watching his bare, sexy chest stare you down in a way that genuinely makes you feral. him and his ruffled hair, shadowed eyes, and furrowed eyebrows.

"pleasepleasepleaseplease," you're begging, mouth full of cotton as you're tearing through bedsheets. kento's situated behind you, thick tongue drawing masterful, sticky circles against your quivering cunt.

yours to the core, there's nothing he loves more than eating you up. since the pregnancy, that feeling is heightened tenfold. you're pulling off your pants, and he's getting that smell in his nose -- that hunger in his body.

and even better, your libido is coming back with this trimester, letting him take his time as he sucks you clean. face down, ass up - hips supported by a pillow, because he wants you to be as comfortable as possible.

kento lets you do all the talking -- all the blubbery crying and pitiful moans you've been keeping. it's like a river down here, buried nose-deep in your ass, his tongue can't keep up the onslaught of constant, dripping slick. he's full off of your taste, but that doesn't mean he won't give his wife what she wants.

"oh, my god. i'm gonna die. gonna -- gonna kill me 'f you don't put it innn!" you're arching your back when he pulls away, licking over his flushed lips, memorizing the taste so he can carry it with him throughout the day.

but, he's taking too long. just one second over your limit, and you're sobbing. "put it in! what are you fucking waiting for, it hurts!"

"oh..." kento doesn't react, knowing anything could set you off further. he does sit up, fishing his erection from his loose linen pants to slide between your aching cunt. he won't tease you for very long now, but he is curious to see how much you're willing to beg...

"you motherfuc-

that disrespect? kento uses it as fuel, and with one fateful swoop, he's burying himself inside of you, punching a guttural, needy scream from your chest.

"well, that's not very nice." he's growling, rolling his hips forward to chase some friction. closing his big body over yours, a single hand presses over the back of your neck, squeezing just enough to emit some pain. he doesn't want to actually hurt you now that you're carrying his daughter, but he does want to establish patience.

cursed nicknames have no space in your loving home.

"i'm sorryyyy--mmhmf!"

he's fucking you so well, now, thick, slippery cock sliding out to the tip, only to slam back in to the hilt. he hurts so good -- so wholly. it's like he's devouring you whole.

this feeling... it was so different, so perfect. all you can think about is your kento pressing another baby in you.

call it greed or lust, kento thinks it's something adjacent to absolute, abiding love and trust.

[joelswhcre]

hii i absolutely love your content, your writing style is just AMAZING

could u please do one where joel finds the reader like pleasuring herself because he’s busy and she doesn’t want to bother him and he finds her and takes over?? HEHEHE i just think the concept is sooo hot omg

────۶ৎ you shoulda told me, baby

joel’s been busy all day and you didn’t wanna bother him. so you take matters into your own hands. he walks in right when you’re about to cum.

warnings: smut, fingering (f receiving), oral (f receiving), dirty talk, a bit of praise, possessiveness, cumplay, slight dom!joel.

ᐟᐟ ⟢ a/n: baby when i say this ask had me kicking my feet n screaming you just get it omg. i had so much fun writing this filth for you. thank you for the ask and compliment! hope you enjoy!

more

ᖭ༏ᖫ

you hadn’t meant for him to see.

you’d waited. tried being good. tried keeping your hands to yourself, but joel had been working all damn day—tools clanking in the garage, shirt damp with sweat, face set with that focused look that made your thighs squeeze together.

you hadn’t wanted to interrupt. not when he was busy. so instead, you crept back into the bedroom, legs weak from need, and flopped down on the bed.

slid your hand under your shorts.

just to take the edge off.

your fingers were slick in seconds, brushing over your clit in slow, teasing circles. the needy little gasps escaping your lips sounded desperate, but it didn’t stop you. your mind wandered—imagined his hands instead, rough and wide, his voice low in your ear telling you what a mess you were making.

two fingers slid in, easy from how wet you already were. you arched into the feeling, thumb rubbing your clit just right.

and that’s when you heard it.

the door.

you froze.

“well, well,” joel’s voice was rough, thick with something dark. “could’ve just come to me, baby.”

you stuttered, legs still open, fingers caught between your thighs.

“d-didn’t wanna bother you—”

joel was already across the room, already dragging those ruined shorts down your legs. “sweetheart, you botherin’ me is the best part of my day.”

his hands were hot, greedy. spreading you wide open. his eyes dropped to your soaked cunt and he groaned low in his throat.

“fuckin’ drippin’, huh? all this ‘cause i was workin’ too long?”

“mhm—” you tried to answer, but his mouth was already on you.

his tongue was slow, firm, dragging through your folds like he was starving. he licked up every drop you’d made, groaning like it was the best thing he’d ever tasted.

and then his thumb pressed against your clit, fast little circles that made your hips jerk.

“joel—fuck, joel—”

“you needed this bad, huh?” he muttered, voice slurred with spit and cum. “shoulda just told me, baby. i’ll always take care of you.”

his fingers replaced yours, two thick ones sliding in deep, curling just right. you clenched around them instantly, needy little whimpers falling from your lips.

“god, that tight little pussy,” he grunted, watching your face. “so fuckin’ greedy.”

you were so close—he could see it, feel it. and he didn’t stop until you were coming hard, clenching around his fingers, slick gushing out with a filthy squelch.

but he wasn’t done.

he stood, unbuckling his belt, jeans hitting the floor. his cock was already hard, thick and flushed, tip shiny with precum.

“gonna give you what you really needed,” he growled.

and he did.

he pushed in slow, stretching you open inch by inch, and you moaned like he was the only thing you’d ever needed.

“fuck, you’re full,” he hissed, bottoming out. “takin’ me so well, baby.”

he fucked you hard—deep, relentless thrusts that had you crying out, nails dragging down his back.

“gonna cum inside, fuckin’ fill you up,” he growled against your neck. “let you drip with it after. show you who you belong to.”

and when he came, thick spurts of hot cum flooding your pussy, you swore you saw stars.

ᖭ༏ᖫ

thank you for reading. reblogs & feedback appreciated.

[princesspandoranil]

Does anyone else find jay saracusa really fucking sexy in like a bad man who will take advantage way or am I severely traumatized

[pellucid-constellations]

Of Oblivious Minds (3)

Pairing: Azriel x Reader

Summary: You're positive Azriel is in love with Elain. It seems so obvious. But Cassian is laughing at you and suddenly nothing makes quite so much sense anymore.

Word count: 2.3k

Warnings: Azriel's POV (it's a warning here), angst

a/n: I am blown away by all of you and your support!! I really love writing for this fandom omg. Thank you for reading and I hope you enjoy ♡ Let me know what you think!! I'll get the next update up soon!

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

~~

Azriel was losing his ever-loving mind. 

A few weeks ago, everything was fine. Not optimal, but fine. 

He knew his mate, and that was more than could be said for most of Prythian. But even more than that, he could love her from afar. He could make small remarks and catch the smiles they would elicit. He could send his shadows after her on her walks home, protecting her even though she had the entire Inner Circle looking out for her wellbeing. He could buy the ridiculously expensive pastries she loved and stock the kitchens with them, listening for the small gasps she let out each time she found them.

He could talk to you, listen to you, love you in his small ways, even if it wasn’t the ways in which he longed for. 

Because it wasn’t the right time yet. You hadn’t felt the bond for yourself. 

So, yes—admittedly, Azriel had not been in the most optimal position with you. But it was leaps and bounds better than the purgatory you were subjecting him to now. 

He mulled over his current reality as he sat opposite to you at the dining table. He had had to snag the seat from Mor, ripping the chair from her hand in an uncharacteristic show of aggression, and you hadn’t so much as looked up from your plate. He would’ve rather fought for the seats beside you, but Rhys and Cassian had been sitting before he even entered the room. So now he fought for your eyes and was too far away to offer any lingering, accidental touches. 

Not that you would reciprocate either. 

You were avoiding him, and Azriel was at his wit's end trying to decipher why. 

His shadows had relayed dismal reports, only whispering the words sad and alone and contemplative into his ears each morning. He could have guessed as much, if the display of emotions he had tried to comfort you through all those days ago told him anything. 

But Gods, did they really tell him nothing, because you hadn’t spoken to him since. 

“—that is certainly something to consider. Y/n, would you be open to the job?” 

“Hm?” you hummed, and Azriel watched as your eyes flickered over to Rhys in one abrupt movement. “Sorry, what?” 

Rhys raised a brow lined with humor, and Azriel realized he hadn’t been listening to the conversation either. “Helion has extended an invitation to the Night Court—for diplomatic relations and all. It’s mostly a weekend stay for show, but he has quite an extensive library. Feyre and I went last time so it would only be fair if—” 

“Yes,” you nodded, the most emotion Azriel had seen on your face in days blooming into a joyous array. “Of course, I would love to go. Are you kidding?” 

Rhys chuckled. “I figured. Helion has been quite eager to get you to come as well. Seemed like the perfect time.” 

Azriel didn’t miss the way the High Lord’s eyes shone with something other than mirth as he looked closer at the scholar… as he inspected your facade the same way Azriel had been for the past week. 

“When can I leave?” 

Something in Azriel scratched to a halt. “She’s to go alone?” 

Feyre offered the spymaster a soft smile from the other side of the table. “If she wishes. Helion’s invitation was open-ended.” 

“Take the vacation, I say,” Mor piped in, wine glass raised in a solitary toast. 

“Or… you could take me,” Cassian grinned beside you, jostling you in a playful grip. 

You sent a scoff his way. “Aren’t you banned?” 

“No, actually. I’m banned from Summer Court, which is completely unrelated.” 

A short laugh trickled from your lips. It wasn’t a full one, not like the ones Azriel was so used to—the ones he basked in—but it was a laugh, nonetheless.

He felt the way his eyes seemed to follow the crescendo of it, his blinks in time with the sweet sound. 

He committed it to memory. 

“Right, well let’s keep you away from neighboring courts as much as possible so we can avoid a repeat of that, okay?” 

Something like a grin fought at the side of Azriel’s mouth at your quip. 

Cassian prattled on. Something about unjust rules or ridiculous high lords—Azriel wasn’t paying attention. He was too caught up in you and the way you were so close to meeting his gaze. 

“Perhaps she shouldn’t go alone,” Azriel spoke up, interrupting his brother’s spiel. You still didn’t look at him, instead turning to catch Rhys’s response. 

“Azriel, I can assure you this is a safe visit,” Rhys offered. He knew. Everyone seemed to know but you. “It’s hardly even business. It’s more of a vacation. I’ve been shoving century-old relics in her face for the past few months. She deserves time to herself, don’t you think?” 

His High Lord was speaking in code. A terrible, frustrating code that really meant, “give her some distance.” 

Azriel had had enough of distance. 

He nodded his head all the same. 

And then, despite all odds, you looked at him. 

You looked at him and it was as if the air had been knocked from his lungs. As if he had been wrung out and stretched thin and every bone in his body forced him to sit up straighter. You were looking at him and Azriel couldn’t conceptualize the way the spectrum in his chest moved so quickly from utter relief to the brink of desolation. 

Because you looked at him as if you were broken. A sad—such a sad—smile graced your face, one he had never had the displeasure of seeing before, and he wanted to wipe it away. He wanted to kiss it from your face with soft touches and reassuring whispers and that was startling for Azriel because he usually kept his overwhelming urge to kiss you at bay. 

“I’ll bring you back a souvenir,” is all you said. Such simple words to accompany an expression that sent him reeling. 

“Thank you,” he replied, with the most sincerity he could muster. 

And then he held your gaze as it became downcast. He craned his neck to catch every last second of your eyes as they turned back down to the table.

It was hours later that Azriel found himself in the townhouse, boots creating an indent in the office carpet. Rhys sat just feet away from him, leaning back against the desk, waiting for the Shadowsinger to erupt. 

“I would like for you to position your spies further into Autumn. I know you have a few that have integrated into the court, but I need more intel on Eris and his plans.” 

“Of course.” 

“You can take out any currently residing in Day. Just for the next week or so. With y/n going, she can report any happenings.” 

A muscle in Azriel’s jaw jumped. “Would that be wise?” 

Rhys stared back at his brother, expression giving nothing away. “Why wouldn’t it be? Do you not trust y/n’s word?” 

Azriel’s wings were taut against his back. In truth, he hadn’t felt relaxed in days. With you leaving, that tension would surely pull him into thin compliance. 

“Obviously I trust her word, Rhysand.” 

“Rhysand? What have I done to earn your grievance?” the High Lord asked, crossing his arms over his chest, still the perfect picture of calm. 

Azriel was a juxtaposition before him as he clenched his hands and replied, “You already know.” 

“Do I know? I’m not sure you’ve been clear or honest with anyone. Y/n especially.” 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about.” 

Rhys bent at the elbow and rubbed a restless hand across his jaw. Azriel ignored the movement in favor of holding eye contact with the High Lord. Azriel was being stubborn, he knew that, but there was no other way to be. 

He needed to be consistent and reliable. He needed to be a pillar for his family to lean on, and you were part of that. He wasn’t going to take that away from you—to be selfish and call upon a mating bond you hadn't even been made aware of yet. 

He wasn’t going to squander your friendship in the hopes of something more. 

There was a chance, no matter how much the prospect pained him to consider, that you wouldn’t want the bond. You had never hinted at wanting more with the spymaster, so there was no telling how you might react to the cauldron blessing you with a union. You could reject it, and with it would go your friendship. 

Just the thought sent ice through Azriel’s veins. 

Truth be told, he had never shown you many signs either. When the bond snapped months ago, it had taken time for Azriel to come to terms with the truth. He had ruminated on it amidst many sleepless nights, watched you from a new perspective over many dinners, and contemplated the path that had led him to you. 

And then he had regretted. Cauldron had he regretted. 

The feeling still lingered, a reminder of each woman he had taken to his bed before you. All of the fae that had meant nothing, and even the ones that had boarded on something, he wished he could do away with.

Because you had been privy to them all. He knew you had witnessed a few late-night trysts, and even worse, that you had watched him pine after Mor for a century. It all seemed so frivolous now; it all paled in comparison to you. 

And the absolute worst part of it all is that he knew. 

He knew how easy it would be to fall in love with you from the start, so he pretended not to notice. 

He threw himself into impractical longing and meaningless lovers and he pretended that it didn’t hurt to look at you. 

The bond had only cemented his foolishness. 

He hardly had a chance with you by the time it snapped. 

“Late night then, Az?” 

You had teased him over breakfast just days before the bond had snapped for him, a small smile on your face as you lounged at the table early in the morning. At the time, Azriel had bit the inside of his cheek and reeled in his snarkiness. He had avoided your gaze, avoided the robe that barely covered your nightgown, and made himself toast in silence. He had already coaxed the blonde fae out of his bed, and he hadn’t needed a reminder of the woman he had been imagining all throughout the night. 

Because that had been something else he opted to ignore—that he pictured you, imagined you, at all times. 

It snapped three days later. He had been accompanying you through Velaris. “Shopping for fun,” you had said, “and I hate to go alone.”

The only thing Azriel had taken home that day was a gaping hole in his chest and the knowledge that lying to himself had brought him nothing but pain. 

The months following were different. 

Everything was different. 

But for you, he had come to the grim realization, nothing was different at all. He was still Azriel, your friend Azriel, who was secretive and private and cared from afar. You still pictured him as a man who chose his lovers based on convenience and quick practicality even though he hadn’t so much as looked at another woman since your emotions began flowing through his chest. 

Gods, your emotions. They were so positive, so addicting, he could sit back and live his days through you until the end of time. You had so much unrestricted joy coursing through you—so much curiosity and delight. Part of Azriel dreaded the day you did recognize the bond; it would dim the connection to you.

That day in the library had been the first time the bond had chafed against his lungs. He had felt the earthquake beneath his feet and thought nothing of it, but then your fear punctured his being and he had run so fast his wings ached. 

And then you started having nightmares, ones he couldn’t fix, and Azriel began to feel like he was losing you. Like the bond was withering and eroding within him and you along with it. 

“How long, Azriel?” Rhys’s voice cut through the air with a harshness. 

The shadowsinger breathed through his nose, jaw tight. 

“Tell me. Tell me how long you’re going to keep this up for.” 

“You don’t understand, Rhys,” came Azriel’s low reply. “None of you do.” 

The High Lord scoffed. “Right, because I had it so easy with Feyre. Az, mates are complicated—” 

“Don’t,” Azriel breathed. A dangerous shakiness accompanied the word.

“Explain it to me. Help me to understand how—” 

“There was nothing for you to lose!” The rise of the shadowsinger’s voice sent Rhys into silence. “There was nothing! You hadn’t known Feyre for three centuries—hadn’t known what it was like to see her cry over worthless males or laugh until she was doubled over. You didn’t have time to memorize the sound of her voice or understand how it felt to lose that small piece of her. Because she won’t even talk to me anymore and—” 

Azriel cut himself off, moving for the first time since he entered office. He paced, the motion of his feet doing little to dispel the tension from the air or from his body. Azriel tugged a hand through his hair, his shadows following the aggressive pull and weaving through the strands. 

“How long?” Rhys asked again, but this time, Azriel knew that he was asking a different question. One that even he himself had avoided answering. 

The shadowsinger paused. His next words were tainted and his voice cracked. 

“I think forever.”

Part 4