#oluwande is the human in the muppet movie

[broodygaming]

Rewatching Our Flag Means Death cuz gay and I fuckin forgot about Buttons listing sea life hahaha holy shit fuckin Buttons just ALL of Buttons

[kneelbeforeclefairy]

Okay so we know Izzy is the human in the Muppet Movie. But if everyone was played by Muppets who would they be?

Stede is MISS PIGGY. I know, I know, you're expecting Kermit, but Miss Piggy is FABULOUS and FANCY until it is time to KARATE CHOP!!

Lucius is SCOOTER. he follows the boss around with a clip board and has 1 emotional intelligence. Sometimes thinks himself smarter and above the rest of the crew but always winds up joining in.

Roach is PEPE KING PRAWN. He's the cook. But mostly the vibe is right. And the EYES

The Swede is obviously THE SWEDISH CHEF. they even have a similar singing voice

Frenchie is RIZZO . he's wise cracking and little more down to earth....sometimes....but often manages to say the weirdest thing.

Buttons is GONZO. because he's batshit, and talks to his birds.

Karl is CAMILLA. (Karl's in the cast. )

Black Pete is UNCLE DEADLY out here trying to relive his glory days and thinking he's scarier than he is

Oluwande is FOZZY. he loves a good joke, but he has a big heart.

Wee John is SWEETUMS. mostly cause he big.

Jim is ANIMAL . No gender. Just violence.

Edward is KERMIT. him sane? He's sailing on the Revenge with the rest of them.

Fang and Ivan are STATLER AND WALDORF. they're just here to be a sassy ass double act.

Badminton (s) are SAM THE EAGLE, of course, a bit disgruntled to be playing British men.

Calico Jack is CRAZY HARRY. He's just here to blow shit up.

Mary is ANNIE SUE. yes I had to deep dive after saying "you know the pig? The pig who isn't Piggy and Piggy doesn't like her but she's nice?" For like five minutes. Anyway her name is Annie Sue and she's very NICE .

Doug is ROLF. I can't justify this but Rolf is cool and chill and the vibes are there.

Spanish Jackie is just....LESLIE JONES. She also has Human In the Muppet Movie vibes, but in a different way. She's the special guest star who is SUPER EXCITED TO BE IN THE MUPPET MOVIE and quickly descends to their level.

And Izzy of course, is just Con O'Neil, who has DEFINITELY wandered into the wrong set.

[taxes-and-laundry]

People say Izzy Hands would be the only human in a Muppet movie, but I disagree. The humans generally mesh rather well with the muppets even though they are of course a little less zany. That is why I say Oluwande would be the only human in a Muppet adaptation. Izzy just has the disgrace of being played by a custom human Muppet (like a relative of Statler and Waldorf) while everyone else is bright and colorful classic Muppets

[guillermogirl]

tag guide

(mostly for my own use. also always a work in progress.)

media:

our flag means death

what we do in the shadows (tv series)

what we do in the shadows (2014 movie)

jojo rabbit

i tag (sometimes lol) episodes as ‘#[piece of media] [season number.episode number].’ for example, the sixth episode of our flag means death is tagged ‘#ofmd 1.06.’

i tag characters by their first names, and relationships (whether platonic or romantic) as ‘#[character] & [character],’ with the characters' names in alphabetical order. some frequent characters and relationships on this blog are:

guillermo

nandor

nadja

laszlo

colin

marwa

the guide

guillermo & nandor

laszlo & nadja

colin & laszlo

ed

stede

jim

lucius

izzy

frenchie

oluwande

mary

ed & stede

ed & izzy

jim & oluwande

lucius & pete

types of content:

txt (all original posts)

gifs

videos (videos that i make are tagged ‘#mp4’)

fanart

analysis (my analysis is tagged ‘#thoughts’)

some fun tags i have for specific scenes/symbolism/themes (all of these are for ofmd lmao. also most of these are quotes from the show but most that aren't quotes are mitski lyrics bc she encapsulates the entirety of the human experience in her music):

the lighthouse (lighthouse symbolism)

the kraken (kraken symbolism, also just generally a tag for the blackbeard persona and how it affects ed)

lily-livered little rich boy (stede's relationship with masculinity)

some men should concern themselves with gentler things (ed's relationship with masculinity. also just ed being soft & gentle <3)

only human in a muppet movie (how different genres interact within ofmd)

ofmd + race & class (discussions of racial & class dynamics)

ofmd + violence (discussions of how violence is portrayed)

who will i be tonight? who will i become tonight? (ed's tendencies to fit into whatever a person/situation needs him to be)

run me through (the stabbing scene in episode 6)

the liver? we don't even know what that thing does (how much of this show hilariously defies logic)

(thematically relevant) (discussions of queerness in ofmd. the tag is a reference to quite a few tags on my atla blog with ‘thematically relevant’ in them)

act of grace (posts related to the act of grace in episode 9)

jim not beating the eldest sibling allegations (jim being eldestsiblingcore. i created this tag somewhat on accident but i like it a lot lmao)

they sounded polite but they stung (autistic ed. <3)

not gonna be what my daddy wants me to be (ed and stede's relationships with their fathers)

let's drive out to where dust devils are made (running away together)

he understands my idiosyncrasies (when ed & stede love each other for being weird nerds!)

last but not least, i have a tag for taika waititi himself: #taika. sorry for being a celebrity-focused blog imsorryimsorry

[figgyblossom]

okay so Im so in love with every single muppets iteration of, like, everything. and i enjoy and understand and agree with the izzy hands only human in a muppets movie, HOWEVER

I would like to offer (1) alternative for Honorary Human:

Oluwande

I may or may not explain myself later.

Search your feelings.. You know it to be true

[redshiftsinger]

I saw a take on twitter about how Izzy isn't the only human in a muppet movie, OLUWANDE is the only human in a muppet movie.

Except, the thing is, Oluwande is a human who thinks he's a muppet, and Izzy is a muppet who thinks he's a human.

Izzy and Who Does the Work

So I was thinking the other day about work dynamics and how one early interview compared OFMD to a workplace comedy. The comparison was fairly thin, since there was a throwaway line about the crew of The Revenge spending all of the first episode deciding whether or not to murder Stede (their captain/boss).

However, there’s also this much better take: a conversation between the most excellent meta writers @chuplayswithfire and @knowlesian about Izzy the toxic leader that I want to riff on a bit. 

And I want to talk a little about what it’s like to be the person who works for a toxic manager (aka: Izzy) and that journey and why it’s harmful/erasing to believe Izzy when he claims he’s doing all the work.

At the root of his claims is an unfounded belief and self-perception (toxic, untrue pretty much in any workplace):

No one else is competent (arrogance)

Confuse direction (delegation) with action (work)

Assume things will fail without their involvement (micromanaging)

We’re going to talk about the impact beliefs like this have on others and their experiences. 

Because really important and complicated tasks are by necessity collaborative, there’s a truism in strategic studies that: “Remember, terrain doesn’t wage war. Machines don’t wage war. People do and they use their mind!” 

No matter how good a plan or a strategy is, unless it’s executed well (by the people on the ground) it will fail. Izzy reminds me of the guy who just doesn’t quite understand the above because he treats everyone around him like interchangeable action-doing machines. If they would only just do everything exactly like he says, everything would work and be fine!

Izzy does not live in actual reality by any measure.

Izzy justifies his violence toward others as necessary in order to get them to conform (except he calls it ‘doing the work’) and that ends up hurting everyone around him and even himself … when it’s people like Fang, Ivan, Frenchie, Oluwande, and Roach quite frequently doing their work well IN SPITE OF HIM or primarily out of some loyalty and admiration for Edward Teach, Blackbeard, most brilliant sailor alive and (actually good) leader.

Blackbeard’s crew notably has no love or loyalty for Izzy … they reserve it for Edward, who also instantly wins over the crew of The Revenge, too.

His reputation precedes him.

Good leaders:

Say thank you.

Give credit to the team.

Listen to the ideas of others.

Remain confident and humble (because it’s important that people WANT to do the work).

Does the list above remind you of anyone? If you said Edward Teach you were correct.

It’s fun to watch Edward TEACH (haha a pun!) these techniques to Stede and it’s a bit FLABBERGASTING that Izzy has managed to serve and follow a good leader for so many years while LEARNING NOTHING. 

Izzy believes he’s essential to Edward’s success … when the crew has been organizing things just fine because they love Edward, a bit like Izzy himself does (while making it weird forever). In fact? When Izzy removes himself from The Revenge after the duel? Nothing melts down and nothing implodes. 

Fang and Ivan have things on lock with or without Izzy giving them a hard time – and we even get that beautiful “co-captains” moment with Edward and Stede that breaks me on every rewatch because they suggest it, bashfully, together in the same moment. 

Izzy Hands You Elitist Jerk

Izzy Hands is the man who remains ignorant because he thinks he knows everything – he’s the kind of person who cannot be taught. 

In the rock-climbing world, a beginner who confidently ignores everyone’s offers of help or education is known as a “gumby” … after the hard rubber kid’s toy that nothing will stick to.

While Izzy is far from a beginner at piracy (that’s Stede), unlike Stede he is willfully and comfortably blind to the talents and contributions of others. 

Izzy is the kind of person who equates vulnerability with shame and who is terrified to admit he doesn’t know something. 

Izzy is someone who demands respect without earning it (abuse of positional authority), who takes credit for the work without doing it, and who punishes people who have done nothing wrong (in pretty consistently gross ways).

I love to hate him and I hate understanding him. He’s a pretty good example of a toxicity death-spiral and, as Edward calls him: a real bummer. But enough about Izzy, let’s talk about one of the people he’s unjustly ignoring.

Consider Fang - My Hero

Fang is unironically the most amazing crew member and Izzy treats him horribly from Episode 03. 

Who spots The Revenge run aground in the intro shot with Blackbeard’s crew? Ivan and Fang. Who leads the shore party? Izzy. Strike one.

Who pulls Fang by the beard (what the FUCK) when he asks why Blackbeard wants to follow Stede’s ship and then tells Fang it’s not his job to fuckin’ think (EXCUSE ME) in the most heinous way possible? Izzy.

To be honest if I were Fang I’d have murdered Izzy right there, but Fang’s too nice a person to do anything but tell it like it is:

FANG: Ow, that really hurts! I hate it when he does that.

Implying this is NOT THE FIRST TIME this has happened to him. This is yet another of Izzy’s toxic entitled power moves to keep other people “in their place.” With all the loaded classist, colorist, and racist associations of that phrase fully intact in these scenes, by the way!

We see Izzy once again making things awful in the scene with Lucius cleaning barnacles, which is yet another pointless cruelty and/or punishment. Who pulls Lucius up and rescues him? Fang. Who says no one has ever taken an interest in his form before? Fang. 

Lucius is right to say that Fang’s never met anyone worth a damn!

Who is it that tells Lucius (and by extension Roach and Frenchie) about Izzy the Spewer? Fang.

Who listens to Edward telling ghost stories in Episode 06 and says it seems like he’s having an awfully nice time? Fang. Who says it’s the most open and emotionally available he’s ever seen Edward? Ivan.

Izzy is the only person in the named ‘original’ crew of Blackbeard who calls this openness seduction and insists that the plan is still on, because “he promised me.” Excuse me Izzy WHAT? When did Edward promise you shit? Never that’s when.

Which brings me around to the problem with Izzy: he thinks respect is what he’s owed, not something earned and voluntarily (freely) given. Izzy Hands doesn’t say thank you to anyone. 

Even when Edward Teach signs the Act of Grace to save Stede Bonnet (because he loves Stede, because Stede is his friend), Izzy is the one in the corner telling him he doesn’t have to do this. Like the only reason anyone could ever make a sacrifice is because it was pried out of them by force rather than – as the title puts it – through grace.

Responsibility Doesn’t Mean Taking the Credit, It Means Taking the Blame

Let me tell you I, like Fang, have worked for “an Izzy.” 

And in the MMO gaming realm (a bit more like piracy than most capitalist workplaces, imho!) … the Izzy Hands attitude is pretty endemic and that dysfunction bleeds over into drama, greed, and self-serving petty awfulness.

Why compare MMO raid groups to piracy? A few reasons:

It’s not a formal commitment. You can stay or go at any time.

You have your choice of ‘crews.’

You have your choice of leaders (insofar as if someone pisses you off, and you’re in a place of trust, you can steal their shit and laugh your way to the bank - think Calico Jack)

Standard procedures vary based on the group (culture, respect, organizational structure, etc.)

The informal-but-still-structured nature of the endeavor means having to decide where to place your effort – having just enough trust in the group leadership that you won’t get fucked over (you’ll get your loot) and that as a whole the group can take on big challenges without those being totally futile

Picking the wrong group is a waste of time (you get no loot; Stede’s crew is starts out here even though they get a salary)

Picking the group that gets things done but are miserable fucks is miserable (Calico Jack)

Picking the right group is badass and can be a source of pride AND loot (Edward Teach, Thee Great Blackbeard)

Edward is that phenomenal raid leader with a fantastic crew who has an absolutely jack-shit “co-leader” who is ruining everyone’s day.

Stede Bonnet has it right in Episode 04!

STEDE: Ed, do you know this guy? Because he’s an asshole!

And you know what really breaks me about this scene? Stede Bonnet in Blackbeard’s clothes is standing in for what Edward has to put up with in managing his unhinged, angry, furious, exhausted, taking-the-credit-but-not-the-responsibility first mate, one Israel Hands.

The biggest power move in my current place of work that defuses conflicts?

“I take full responsibility.”

Izzy Hands takes and takes and takes everything except responsibility.

Look What You Made Me Do

So yeah, as much as I enjoy Izzy Hands as a character, I can’t help but think his protestations and his viewpoint are not to be taken seriously, much less justified.

Leaning too far with OFMD meta analysis into Muppet-land, or corporatism, or any of a number of other useful metaphors … can tip over into accepting Izzy’s harmful self-justification (excuses!). 

Careless use of metaphor has the double-bind effect of letting Izzy take credit he has not earned while erasing the work that the rest of the crew are doing more quietly (very well, thanks, because they’re amazing and they just DO what needs to be done rather than grandstanding about it):

Frenchie - A bard. Invents pyramid schemes and fanfiction. Sews. Code-switching master who Edward picks for his “new crew” because he’s a badass who was ‘in service’ for a minute, has a mind like a steel trap, and navigates every situation with grace and aplomb.

Oluwande - Voted Captain after Izzy gets thrown overboard. Level-headed. The man Blackbeard’s crew picked to lead them instead of Izzy when they thought Edward Teach was never going to return.

Roach - A chef, a “knives are knives, meat’s meat” doctor who will always get the job done. Treats scurvy. Makes a mean tapas. Calls Stede on his bullshit (I wasn’t asking you, I was asking him (Buttons)). Embodiment of ‘fuck around and find out’ (entertained). Wins the award for best smile.

Ivan - Professional with an eye for valuables (spotted the Revenge aground; dibs on the gold teeth; ‘I’ve never seen him so open and emotionally available’).

Fang - BLACKBEARD’S HELMSMAN. Buries Lucius’s finger at sea.  ‘That Brown Peter, he can’t be first mate. I saw him talking to Izzy about it before. Never. Disaster. No offense, Lucius.’  Give him a dog in season two.

Did you notice they were all men of color? 

Because if we talk too much about how Izzy “just wants performance awards and recognition” I am afraid we are contributing to ignoring at whose expense he is operating, and once again justifying a white man’s mistreatment of POC while he(we!) ignore, minimize, and erase the actual work they are doing.

And that’s not a narrative I’m looking to repeat or reinforce, and I am as capable of fucking up as the next hyperfixated OFMD meta writer, so …

Moving Forward

That mutiny scene at the end of Episode 09 has something to teach us!

Go back and re-watch it! It took me a bit to get all the dialogue (had to turn on captions because there’s a song playing at the same time):

IZZY: Okay, okay! Maybe, maybe we got off to a bad start. But, what, what, what, what, can I do differently, huh? I’m open to suggestions!

ROACH: Mm-hm! (Delighted, smiling like it’s his birthday, getting ready to throw Izzy overboard)

IZZY: Pete! Help me out here!

PETE: For the record, I never formally accepted the role of “first mate” and I fully endorse this mutiny.

IZZY: Gah! Y-you, you, you don’t have to do this. Part of good leadership is restraint. [Looking at Oluwande.]

OLUWANDE: Everyone’s got their own style.

Like LOOK AT IT???

This show is so good I swear. And if you’re gonna doubt me or doubt other meta writers about the anti-racist beats (Ivan and Fang are in the foreground during the mutiny, all of the people throwing Izzy overboard are men of color … and the people Izzy has hurt the most are the ones taking the lead in pitching him overboard) … FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING BELIEVE THE SHOW.

Izzy even uses the classic racist tone-policing excuses to try to get some sympathy!

“Part of good leadership is restraint?”

IZZY GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK. WHERE WAS YOUR RESTRAINT WITH FANG? (His poor beard. It really hurts, Izzy you bag of dicks. As you would know if you ever listened to him.)

Anyway! 

Thanks Izzy fandom I love you, I’m one of you, but let’s not make Izzy’s exact same mistake by believing his warped self-serving story about how he’s the one doing all the work.

Maybe (if you’re a white fan like me) … start by taking responsibility to focus on THE HARM IZZY DOES TO OTHERS and taking a second or a third watch looking at the people around him rather than … you know, minimizing the harm and exclaiming ‘but he did the work!’, just like he tries to do when he’s getting thrown overboard.

Here’s the on-screen truth: the crew’s just fine without him. Better than fine! Living their best lives! Getting free of a toxic ex!

Acting like Izzy is the only competent pirate on a crew of otherwise muppets erases the men of color who are amazing and doing just fine without him and don’t need that bullshit in their narrative – from Izzy, from fandom, from meta writers like me, or from anyone.

Blackbeard’s crew and the crew of The Revenge deserve better, especially from people like me who write about Izzy Hands.

Because I’m thinking a lot about Fang and Frenchie lately, who are my personal heroes. And Jim. 

And where OFMD is going to go with everyone, including Izzy, in our renewed-for-pride Season Two … so what do we do? We talk it through as a crew.

See Also: It’s Not About You, Izzy for the other half of this meta where I talk about why OFMD is (rightly) Edward Teach’s story and the narrative framing could not be more clear about that.