#old lady pulls up right into my backyard. to drop another child that I did not invite

[barbie-nightmare-house]

I have four pre programmed social pleasantries to offer and every time someone goes off script I am momentarily convinced I’m capable of murder.

[ithehellisbucky]

forget me not

spencer reid x reader

Request: No

Word Count: 3.5k

Warnings: Kidnapping, torture, drowning, murder, drug mention, etc

Summary: You and Spencer don't realize you love each other until it's almost too late

Author's Note: First thing in like fucking forever, so yeah. This was originally a request and then I was at school and I couldn't look at my request so it was way off script, so I just did my own shit, this also takes place in the 5th season, in the middle just after hayley dies.

~

"The unsub is a white male between the ages of 35-45. His modus operandi is drowning in the great lakes, he's already struck Superior, Michigan, Ontario, and Huron, so we expect Lake Erie to be next." Hotch says, glancing at his phone every minute or so. It's his third case back since Hayley died, and he's picked up a habit of waiting to hear bad news.

"This unsub has recently developed a hallucinative disorder where every face he sees has an emotional connection. There were no discernable connections between his victims which leads us to believe that his mind is filling in the gaps at random." Reid says, gesturing abstractly at nothing at all in particular.

"This disorder was likely triggered by a recent brain injury connected to the Great Lakes so keep a lookout for any recent accident victims. He was very social until the accident, and after it he immediately became anti-social. He was probably in a relationship recently, but then broke it off, he is not married, but possibly has children, which he will not shy away from using in a hostage situation." Morgan exclaims as he leans against a desk.

"His victims are all over the place, so we advise everyone to be on high alert. There is no pattern to the murders, from a 51-year-old single mother of two to a 14-year-old on vacation." You pause and take a breath, looking back down at your notes. "Someone out there knows this man, so we implore you to tell as many people as possible, our Media Liaison Jennifer Jareau will be setting up a press conference, and it is very important to get this out to as many people as possible."

"Won't that just spook him more?" One of the sheriff's deputy says, with a concerned look on his face.

"Yes, but at this point, he will kill again no matter what, it's better to have the public be informed because he will take another victim, whether we find him during or after is up to us."

He nods, and looks down at his notepad, badly masking his disturbed grimace.

"Thank you and let us know if you have any leads," Hotch exclaims, closing the meeting.

You walk up to Spencer "I bet we're their favorite people right about now." You say, sipping on your coffee.

Reid avoids your eyes and continues to fidget with the chess piece that he probably stole from one of the officer's desks. "What's wrong Reid?"

"I dunno, I just have a really bad feeling about this one," He picks up his cane and walks away. When Spencer has enough he needs to walk away, and as long as he wasn't hurt that was fine with you.

"Reid, y/l/n, Garcia's got something." Morgan raps his knuckles on the doorway and calls you into a conference room. "Hey babygirl, what do ya got for us?" He exclaims, shifting the call to speakerphone.

"A luscious blonde mane and an intense yearning to hold you." Emily giggles a little bit and Garcia can probably feel Hotch's glare "oh come on Derek."

"Sorry baby, keep goin'."

"I have a name. One Larry Todd. 3 weeks ago he was in a boat accident in which he had a severe concussion and was unconscious for 3 days. He immediately broke up with his girlfriend Shelby, which she was very angry about, adieu to her Facebook page. His ex-wife reported that he missed his last two visitations with his daughter Amelia." She takes a pause "he owned a bait shop that's been closed since his boat was destroyed in the accident, and it's listed as his last residency.

"Fits our profile to a tee," Emily exclaims.

"Thanks, Garcia," Hotch says, hanging up the phone call. "Emily, JJ is in the conference so run out and let her know. Morgan and Rossi, go to the bait shop with SWAT, and Reid and y/l/n go to the ex-wife's house; Emily and I will stay here and see what else we can dig up."

Everyone goes their separate ways. The sheriff takes the driver's seat, with you in the shotgun seat and Spencer in the back. You can hear the clang his leg makes against his cane and his foot bouncing.

"I'll take the daughter, and you can have the ex-wife."

"Okay," responds Spencer.

The ex-wife Miranda opens the door sobbing when you knock on it. "Excuse me, ma'am, my name is Agent y/n y/l/n and this is my partner Dr. Spencer Reid, do you mind if we ask you and your daughter a few questions about your ex-husband?"

She continues to sob but lets you in. You look back to see the sheriff playing video games on his phone and you scoff.

Spencer sits down with the crying woman and you politely ask if you can speak to her daughter. She tells you yes and that Amelia is around back.

"Bye, Reid." You blow a kiss to Spencer and walk out the door, shaking a sinister nagging feeling itching at the back of your neck.

You walk across the pavement and open the gate to enter your unsub's former backyard. "Hi Amelia, my name is y/n, I'm a friend of your mommies."

Beginning to grow more suspicious, you pull out your gun and triple-check to make sure it's on safety. If Todd is there you know that he would be fine with sacrificing his daughter for his own goals and you wouldn't let that happen "Amelia? Is your daddy here."

"Boo!" A little girl with pigtails holding a stuffed rabbit jumps from behind the recycling bin and you chuckle, putting your gun away in your holster. "Did I scare you?"

"You sure did!" You laugh. "Wow, that's such a pretty bunny, where did you get it?"

"My daddy got it for me." She said, showing off her gap tooth.

"That's so cool! Do you remember what it was like when he gave it to you?" You kneel to be at eye level with the child.

"Yeah, he was super cuddly, now he's a little more pokey, but that's okay." She says, playing with the bunny ears.

"When did he get pokey, Amelia?" You hesitated, something was off "I just want your daddy to be cuddly again."

"A little bit ago. He used to tell me stories till I fell asleep eeeeeverynight, but then he stopped for a week and when he came back he was like a big lion."

You had a growing sense of paranoia budding in your spine, why was she telling you all this so fast? "What type of stories?"

"He used to tell me princess stories, but after he stopped for a week he talked all about ones about the scary lady who tried to take me away, but then he stopped her! And the boy who was being dangerous so he had to make sure that she didn't hurt me." She exclaimed absentmindedly.

You start to pull your phone out of your pocket until Amelia starts talking again "and just now, he was talking about the bad knight who tried to take me away."

Your jaw dropped and you tried to find the best course of action, but by the time your brain started working it was too late. He walked up behind you and whispered into your ear "Nighty-night."

And then everything was black

~~~

"Hey, mommy."

"Yes, sweetheart?" She quickly wiped the tears off of her face to turn to her daughter.

"Can I have ice cream?"

"Of course sweetheart" she gives me a small smile and gets up towards the kitchen. "Where's that nice agent that came here with Dr. Reid?"

"They weren't a nice agent, they were a bad, bad, bad knight, and they were trying to take me away, so daddy took them instead."

No.

Oh no.

No no no no no no no no.

Where were they? Where was y/n?

I pulled out my gun without a second thought and left my cane behind, I ran as fast as I could without it, and by the time I was in the backyard my knee was burning and they were gone.

~~~

You woke up halfway through the drive. The road switched from smooth the bumpy a million times over, and it smelled like bees. Not like honey, not like pollen, like bees. Just bees. It smelled nice, but you don't want to die smelling bees.

You wanted to move. Move your body, move your head, move your eyes, move anything, but you couldn't move. Nothing could move. There was a sweaty tv shirt shoved between your teeth. Your hands were bound with bristled rope and there was metal all around you and you were certain that this was the back of a van. At first, you thought there must be a blindfold over your eyes, and then you realized that they were just too tired to open.

There was an old country song playing over the radio, a love song about a family in a house. The truck stopped shaking and he pulled the ignition. A growing sense of dread filled your stomach as he walked around towards the back of the truck. He opened the door and you saw his face.

That could only mean one thing- you weren't leaving here alive.

~~~

Within minutes crime scene techs were on the scene, but I knew they wouldn't find anything useful. The only thing that was there was the absence of y/n and our distraught profile.

"They were right here, right here, they were- they were right here, right here." Hotch looked at me somberly, and Morgan rubbed my shoulder with sympathy.

"We need to update our profile," Emily said, there was no time to waste, "we know what this guy does to people, and if he would risk abducting an armed federal agent in front of his daughter there's no doubt they in danger."

"We know Emily," Everyone looks at me kind of funny like I've said something wrong, but at this point, I don't care what anyone thinks of me, "His reason for doing this was for his daughter, he took out anyone he saw as a threat, a motherly figure, someone who could be her older brother, anyone who was a threat and wanted to take Amelia away from him.

"His disorder is fairly undocumented, being exactly the opposite of prosopagnosia, where patients disassociate faces from their loved ones, causes him to feel emotions about people he's never seen before, and his subconscious is assigning meaning to them at random, picking up anyone shows the slightest twinge of distaste.

"y/n picked up more than a twinge, they were there to take his daughter away, so he likely believes they're the mastermind." Everyone looks at me and waits for me to say the thing we all know is coming "he's not going to kill them before they suffer."

As we hitched a ride back to the station my leg was bouncing like crazy and my fingers were tapping the numbers of pi into the leather of the car door. Emily put her hand on my shoulder but I couldn't feel her, y/n missing was the only thing I could feel.

"Garcia I need you to check if Larry Todd owns any vehicles large enough to hold a person, trunks, vans, trucks anything," Morgan says into his speakerphone once we get back to the station.

"Oh god it's true, he really has them?" I can hear the distraught coated thick on her voice "do you think they're in pain, do you think he-"

"Garcia we don't have time for this, does he or does he not have any vehicles in his name." I snapped, I could apologize later when y/n was in a hospital bed.

"No, but you know I'm never one to go to bed early, and it turns out his great uncle died a year and a half ago, but his van was pulled over and given a speeding ticket a few months ago, how much do you wanna bet that's our guy and not a psychopath's uncle."

"Thanks, Garcia," Rossi hangs up the phone and turns to one of the sheriff's deputies in the room, "put out an ATB on that van."

"Okay, I'm gonna go through the medical files again, see if there's anything I missed," Hotch catches my arm.

"There isn't, right now all we can do is wait and look." He pauses "we've sent out patrol cars to look for the van, go out with Morgan, and circle around Lake Erie."

"Hotch, what if- what if we don't find them, or we find them and it's too late, or we find-"

"Right now she's alive, you said it yourself, he's not gonna let her die so easy."

As disturbing as it is hearing that someone you love more than anything is being tortured, I found it strangely comforting. They're alive. They are alive. They are prepared. After Tobias took me they brought me to a CIA torture seminar, just on the off chance that anything happened, I wouldn't break again.

I stared out the window of the passenger side of the SUV. Morgan wasn't talking, he knew what I was feeling, because he felt it before, when it happened to me.

"We've got a report of the vehicle going down sunmist lane" the scanner jumps to life.

I had memorized the map the second we landed; "we're five minutes away" and then, quietly under my breath, I whispered, "I'm coming y/n."

~~~

He held your head underwater for the 7th or the fiftieth time. You can't remember. You can't remember. You can't remember anything other than the water under the dock filling my lungs.

"What do you want with my daughter?!" He screamed at you as he pulled you out again, You vomited up all the water that my body could muster. You didn't know he had a daughter.

You forgot everything you learned to do. You forgot to pretend it was affecting me, You forgot how to hold my breath, You forgot. You forgot everything.

Except for Spencer, Spencer's smile, Spencer holding you, Spencer missing you until that was gone too.

Everything went away but the water.

He kicked you back off the dock again, and for a second you gasped for air, and then you sank, nothing even mattered anyways.

The man pulled you out again and kicked you in the ribs; you felt something rip inside of you and you screamed as loud as you could, which was more like a whimper.

"Larry Todd put your hands up!" Two men came behind the man who drowned you, you couldn't remember them, but you could remember the rip in your ribs filling with water.

He shoved you back into the water and you didn't even try to fight this time, you just sank, feet after feet after feet of water. You didn't hold your breath, you didn't care.

A figure appeared above you, and you saw the angel. He had a shimmering brown halo and a beautiful bright face that looked terrified, just like an angel.

And then he pulled you up.

~~~

This might be heaven, but it might be hell. You can tell the room is white without opening your eyes. There's a steady beeping sound to your left and it smells like chlorine.

When you finally manage to open your eyes you wished you hadn't. All you see is lethargy around you.

JJ is drooling in her sleep while Emily is asleep on her shoulder, Garcia is snoring in the corner with her knitting in a pile next to her. Morgan and Rossi are nowhere to be seen, but you can't blame them, seeing people they love getting beat up over and over again never gets easier. You can hear the faint sounds of Hotch arguing with someone over the phone in the hallway.

But worst of all is Spencer. He's wide awake and his foot is tapping like crazy on the ground. There are deep and dark eye bags surrounding his eyes and hints at a beard forming on his face. His cane is tossed uncharacteristically on the ground, and he pays it no attention whatever.

You open your mouth to speak, but when you do a stabbing pain shoots through your diaphragm and you gasp. The second Spencer hears you he shoots up and kneels next to the bed, which must be no easy feat.

"Hey, how are you?" He strokes your hair as gently as he can.

You try to speak but no words come out.

"Do you want some water?" You nod, trying to not feel pathetic. The second the glass of water comes into your eye line you knock it out of his hand and it goes shattering onto the floor, waking everyone else in the room up.

You start to cry, feeling guilty and scared about why a glass of water could've terrified you so much. "Hey, hey, it's okay, it's okay, it's just a bunch of sand made into something you can drink out of, it's not a big deal, don't worry." That calms you down a little bit.

You look around to see the rest of the team cradled around you. "How are you feeling honey?" Garcia whispers as if speaking too loudly would mortally wound you.

You reach up and touch your throat, and it burns. There's more confusion, and then JJ is getting her hand cut on the glass she was cleaning, Garcia was whispering too loudly and Emily was touching your arm, and Hotch and Morgan and Rossi were walking in the room and Spencer was pushing a button on your bed and the monitor was beeping and then you were screaming.

Screaming so loudly, screaming in pain, screaming in fear, screaming in confusion, screaming because you were overwhelmed and sad and scared. "Everyone gets out," Spencer says, and everyone quickly does, he knows you best, and right now, everything was too much.

"Wh-what happened" you whisper, throat and lungs still hurting but since you had screamed the worst part was over.

"The unsub kidnapped you, and tried to drown you, your heart stopped in the ambulance, but they brought you back." You remembered "You had been dunked in the water and brought back up at least 15 times, not including when I brought you out.

"You needed 53 stitches and had a punctured lung when we found you." He pauses "You're safe now, we have him in custody and he can never hurt anyone ever again." You let out a breath that you didn't know you had been holding.

"I'm so sorry," You were crying "I forgot you, I'm so sorry. He made everything go away but the water I'm sorry that I forgot you."

"It's okay, it's okay, you didn't do anything wrong, you were trying to stay alive." He stroked your hair and held your hands gently "He tortured you, when Hankel tortured me all I could think about were the drugs and the pain, you didn't do anything wrong, you survived."

"I survived?"

"Yes."

"Can I tell you something?" You chuckled, your tears had stopped but it was still wet on your face.

"Anything."

"I thought you were an angel when you saved, and now I realize that you weren't my angel, it wasn't magic, and it wasn't godly." Spencer looks puzzled, and you paused to take a deep and painful breath "It was the fact that I am so deeply in love with you, that seeing you love me back felt like heaven.

Spencer stares at you, his mouth closed and his mouth on the floor "You don't have to say anything, just know that-"

His lips are on yours before you can finish your sentence. For a moment you forget about the pain in your throat, the burn in your lungs, and the agony all over your body; it was just Spencer.

You pulled away for breath, your breaths dancing with each other.

"I was so scared" he whimpered in fear.

You stroked his hair gently "I was more terrified than I had ever been. I was so horrified that I would wake up tomorrow and my reason for living would be dead. I was more scared than I had been when I thought my dad killed a kid, I was more scared than when Hankel tortured me, I was more scared when I realized that I loved drugs more than my own life.

"You were the person that held my hand when I was hurting so bad I would forget to breathe, and then you weren't here because you were the person in pain and I realized that I loved you because nothing hurt me more than the fear that I could lose the one thing in the world that made me feel okay."

He takes a deep breath and looks at you as deeply in your eyes as you thought could ever be possible. "I love you too, and I promise you I'll never let you go."

His lips meet yours, and through a kiss, you whisper "I'll never forget you again"

And you knew that you had Spencer and everything is going to be okay.

~~

My Masterlist

Requests are open!

~Taglists are open~

Permanent Tags: @natasha-danvers​

Marvel:

Criminal Minds:

[waithyuck]

TRICKY

pairing: elf! na jaemin x reader (f) **halloweenie special**

genre: smut, supernatural au

word count: 3k

warnings: {OKAY IM PUTTING A WARNING FOR VERY MILD *DUB-CON* BC TECHNICALLY THE READER IS TRICKED , BUT IN THE END OBVIOUSLY CONSENTS, YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED}, sexual content (fingering, dry humping), explicit language, use of several pet names, possessive behavior and vocabulary, reader just wants to find her damn cat but gets a whole lot more than that, bad attempts at explaining folklore, I’m sorry for any inaccuracies 😬 **ALSO UNEDITED**

a/n: **repost bc tumblr sucks** this is definitely more of my own spin on what I think an elf would be like, so sorry to those of you who are into the lore and stuff 🥺

< previous | next >

~10/14/2020~

~~~~

your grandmother was always a very smart woman, and you knew that very well. so when she told you not to do something, you made sure to NEVER do it.

you lived with her on the very outskirts of your town; your own backyard made up of a very dense forest with enough trees in it to block out almost all sunlight. your bedroom window faced the forest, and every night you were forced to stare at it as you sat at your desk, contemplating what went on in there.

your grandmother repeatedly told you to never go in there, no matter what, ever since you were a child. she would talk about all kinds of crazy things, like witches and faeries, and even elves.

the first time she told you about the dark forest, you were only six years old.

“you can’t go in there, y/n.” she said seriously, crouching before you as you stood in the kitchen with her. “no matter how much it may call you, you can never enter it.”

you didn’t understand, so of course, in typical child fashion, you questioned her.

“well why not?” you shot back, crossing your arms and pouting. she stood back up after looking at you for a second, going back to mixing brownie batter in a large bowl.

“the fae are dangerous creatures. the forest is littered with them, my dear.” she stopped for a moment, gazing out the kitchen window and into the thick gathering of trees and plant life. “the elves will claim you once you enter, and you may never be able to escape again.”

after that, she didn’t say much else to you about it.

at first, you thought she was just trying to scare you into not wandering off, but after a while you began to believe her.

there would be strange noises in the night; like whispers calling out to you from the direction of your window. it creeped you out but you tried to convince yourself it was just your imagination playing tricks on you.

your life continued on like that for years, and eventually it didn’t phase you at all. you were used to the nightly whispers now, and even your cat didn’t seem to mind them, if she could hear them at all.

you never told your grandmother about them, however. she was getting old and you didn’t want to be the reason she had a heart attack, as awful as that sounded.

for being as old as she was, she still got around pretty good, and there were days when she left you along for a good few hours to go out on walks with her other old lady friends.

it was really cute.

today was just like any other day like that; your grandmother left around eleven in the morning to go out, leaving you some breakfast on the counter for when you inevitably stumbled out of your room at one o’clock in the afternoon.

everything seemed normal. you ate in silence and scrolled through your phone at the kitchen table, but then noticed something was right.

looking around you, you noticed your cat was nowhere in sight. she would usually be up on the table sitting and staring at you or rubbing against your leg for no reason, but currently she was nowhere to be found.

at first you just assumed she was sleeping somewhere else, but after eating you searched the house and couldn’t find her anywhere. walking back into the kitchen you happened to glance outside and your heart jumped in your chest.

then you started to panic.

looking out into the backyard you saw her stark white fur disappear into the thick brush of the forest, and you almost screamed out loud at the sight.

“fuck,” you exclaimed, your heart racing and your mind thinking of all the ways to try to get her back. you were always advised to not go into the forest...but you couldn’t let your poor cat who you loved very dearly to get mauled out there by some bigger animal.

you had to go after her.

you mustered you all the courage you had inside you, not bothering to change out of your ratty shorts and t-shirt before shoving your feet in your sneakers. you let out a shaky breath as you walked into your backyard, staring down the darkness of the forest with determination.

as you apprehensively made your way to the very entrance of the brush, you spotted a large crooked stick, and didn’t hesitate to grab it to use as a weapon if necessary.

you didn’t want to be completely defenseless against any supernatural creatures you came across. you had a gut feeling that running into one would be inevitable, and the fear rang like a siren in the back of your mind like a sonata.

the ‘do not enter’ and ‘keep out: danger’ signs did nothing to ease your pounding heart and screaming nerves, but you pressed on regardless. you had to do this, for your stupid cat.

with one large step, you passed the boundary of the trees, the wind picking up as soon as you did. a chill ran down your spine but you kept your legs moving, careful not to break your ankles on any protruding roots. it was incredibly dark, even though the sun was high in the sky, but the leaves of the towering trees cut out almost all light.

you stumbled around aimlessly for what felt like hours, but in reality it had only probably been about 45 minutes before you stopped and took a breather. checking your phone for the time, you felt a pang in your chest when you realized that it was off, and wouldn’t turn back on no matter how hard you tried.

“fuck,” you muttered, fear creeping up on your soul once again. you really didn’t want to be in this forest longer than necessary, and you really seriously contemplated just leaving your cat behind, as horrible as that was.

your eyes gazed around, taking in the trees surrounding you. nothing seemed too out of the ordinary...all though you really though you saw a few small dashes of light fly around you through your periphery. you prayed that they weren’t pixies or fairies of whatever else your grandmother told you about.

you didn’t trust anything, no matter how beautiful or non-threatening they seemed to be on the outside.

“hello there.” a voice spoke out suddenly, causing you to jump and spin around, dropping your makeshift weapon in the process.

your eyes met the sight of a young man who looked to be around your age, with a slightly unsettling smile upon his face. he was almost too handsome; the beauty that emanated from him in waves was incredibly addicting, and you felt the pull of him immediately. it was hard to tear your eyes away, and that scared you.

you had no idea where he had come from, nor did you know how he managed to so quietly sneak up behind you like he did. you definitely would have heard him coming, considering the amount of twigs and leaves littering the ground at your feet.

your heart raced at the possibility of who, or what, he was, your mind trying to go through everything your sweet old grandmother ever told you. some inner part of you already knew what you were dealing with.

“don’t hurt yourself, darling,” the man spoke again, referencing to your mind working in overtime. he took a step forward toward you, and in turn you took a large stumbling step back. he watched you move, chuckling. “I’m jaemin, care to tell me your name?”

“n-no,” you managed to say, your hands clutched at your chest as you tried to calm your racing heart. you swore you saw his eyes flicker a bright aquamarine for a moment before returning back to brown as his smile faltered slightly. It came back a split second later.

“you’re a smart girl,” he purred, most likely realizing that you knew he wasn’t human, inching closer once more. you felt frozen, unable to step back like you truly wanted to, and you willed yourself not to panic. “you know what I am, I presume?”

your lips shook as you opened your mouth to speak, your tongue running over your chapped lips and he watched every single movement, causing your body to shiver.

“I have a-an idea,” you softly whispered, not breaking eye contact as he stopped in front of you. he didn’t say a word, only smiling at you as you stayed frozen in your spot. one word screamed in your mind: elf. you didn’t even have to look at his pointed ears to deduct that. the vibe he gave off was abundantly clear, even if you had never encountered another being of his kind before.

it didn’t feel like he was compelling you; it was more or less your reaction to the immense shock and fear you felt, coming in contact with a creature your grandmother always warned you about.

and it’s all because of your dumb cat.

“l-look dude, I’m just trying to find my cat.” you stated strongly now, holding your ground as best you could as he looked at you intensely, that slightly unsettling smile never leaving his face.

“once it entered the forest it became mine.” he simply retorted, leaning against the tree trunk beside him. “anything that passes the trees here belongs to me…” he paused for a moment, his eyes now glowing a full bright aquamarine, startling you as he seared his gaze through your very soul. “so I guess that means you’re mine as well. how lucky.”

the elf spoke softly, but there was an edge to his tone that made you shiver, paired with his choice of words.

“I-I’m not..” you stuttered, your fists clenched by your sides. was he the ruler of the forest? some sort of elf king?

“you’re not?” he asked, chuckling to himself as he pushed his body from the tree, slowly slithering toward you on his bare feet. “did you not hear what I said? everything in this forest is mine. that includes living creatures,” you had no willpower to move away as he crowded your space, his glowing eyes paralyzing you as his body drew closer and closer. “I wonder what I should do with my new possession.” he smirked to himself, reaching a pale hand out to gently cup your chin, laughing lowly as you instinctively flinched. “you are without a doubt the prettiest thing I’ve seen enter my domain in years, princess. I’ve been waiting for you.”

his last sentence threw you off, but for a moment your brain couldn’t remember the whispers you heard all those years, and it didn’t click. you couldn’t deny that this elf man was attractive; and you couldn’t deny the fact that his voice had your legs weakening with every word he spoke. you cursed yourself mentally for being affected by him, because deep down you were aware of the danger of encountering elves.

thinking back to your cat, you wondered why she would have left the house in the first place. she was lazy and never wanted to really move...unless something was calling her…

your heart seemed to stop beating and your blood ran cold.

“you tr-tricked me…” you said in realization, your eyes widening. “you tricked me into coming in here, using m-my cat!” your voice was panicked and you found it hard to breathe. then, your brain finally figured it out. “you’re the one that’s been whispering to me all these years, aren’t y-you?”

he smiled at you with dark aquamarine eyes, and now you weren’t sure how you were going to get yourself out of this mess.

you weren’t entirely sure you wanted to get out of this mess.

wait, what?, your eyes widened at your own thoughts, where did that come from??

suddenly and without warning, your entire body was grasped in his hold. his hands dominantly gripped your waist and flipped you around so that your front was smacked up against a tree, the sharp bark scratching your cheek as your face was scraped against it.

“you’re my kitty now.” his voice whispered directly into your ear, his breath causing your body to visibly shiver in his hold.

you didn’t mean to whine, you really didn’t, but when he his teeth found your ear and nibbled gently on the skin, you couldn’t hold it in. your legs trembled beneath you as your knees weakened, the feeling of his warm body pressed tightly against your back leaving you wanting more and more.

he pressed deceivingly sweet kisses along your neck, your hands clutching the bark of the tree in response, your nails scratching along the surface. you jolted when you felt his right hand move down your front and nestle between your legs, putting pressure right against your covered center.

“hmm, you want it, don’t you?” he mumbled quietly, his chest rumbling against your back. “your thoughts are so loud, I know you can’t resist me.”

your thighs clenched in anticipation as he ran his long fingers delicately along your core through your shorts, and you let out a breathy whimper in response.

he tsk’d at you, giving your pussy a light slap through the thin fabric before completely drawing it away. “I wanna hear you say yes, kitty.”

his voice was demanding as he spoke, and you couldn’t disobey.

with your eyes glazing over, you gripped the tree trunk tightly and mewled out, “yes!”

you could practically hear him smirk, his chuckling causing you to grow even more wet as he finally slipped his hand down your front and into your shorts. when his long finger reached your bare and sensitive nub, you could help but arch your back, causing your ass to press tightly against his rapidly hardening cock. he groaned right in your ear, his hips bucking and grinding against your behind in time with his strokes against your clit.

“you’re already so wet, darling,” he moaned out, dipping his finger down to circle your entrance. “I could just...slide right in.” with those words, he slipped his index finger into you in one clean movement, his long finger reaching deep inside your pussy.

you cried out when the tip of his finger brushed a sweet spot inside you, and you heard him groan in response, a deep chuckle following.

“good girl,” he muttered, casually slipping his middle finger inside you beside his pointer. the stretch had you throwing you head back, giving him access to your pretty neck. “be as loud as you want, baby. it’s just me, you, and the forest now.”

his hips grinding against your from behind never ceased, and he thrusted his fingers to the same rhythm as his hips. he was literally fingerfucking you; before you knew it he was adding a third finger.

to help with the burn of the stretch, he reached his free hand down and used two fingers to pinch and roll your clit, making you squeeze your eyes shut and clench your teeth at the sudden immense pleasure you were feeling.

it was embarrassing, but you were already so close to reaching your high. you really wanted this feeling to last forever, so you tried to hold it as long as you could.

the noises escaping from you only grew louder the harder he went; the powerful strokes from his hips driving you into the bark of the tree and his fingers plowing deep inside you had you practically screaming.

his lips found your neck and he left wet kisses there, his grains and growls only enhancing your feelings of ecstasy. he sounded like sin, and even though he was an elven boy that you had just stumbled across, you knew you didn’t want him to leave your life. you never wanted to live in a world where you couldn’t hear his moans, and that thought almost terrified you. the effect he was having on you was extremely intense, and you weren’t sure if it was normal, but at this point you were far too gone to care.

“are you gonna cum, kitty?” he strained out, breaking you out of your thought as his hips stuttered against your ass, his fingers still powerfully fucking into you. you could only nod desperately, your throat sore from the guttural sounds you were releasing.

he let out a breathy laugh, causing your walls to flutter around his digits. “then cum. I wanna feel you fucking drench my fingers.”

his words were all it took for you to let go. you screamed as you came, your nails scratching against the tree as your cheek scraped sharply on the bark, most likely drawing blood. your pussy clamped so hard around his fingers that he could barely move them in and out of you, so he drew circles over your clit to help you ride out your orgasm.

his hips pressed tightly against you, and you could feel through your own pants the wet spot on the front of his, indicating that he had cum as well.

after a powerful minute of cumming, you felt your eyes droop in exhaustion almost immediately. jaemin withdrew his fingers from you, wiping your essence on his pants before grouping your waist to keep you from collapsing. you definitely would have fallen if it weren’t for his hold on you.

he gently lowered you to the ground, turning your body so your back was able to rest against the trunk. he wiped at the scratches on your cheek with his thumb, but even though it stung you didn’t have the energy to flinch.

“go to sleep, precious.” he said softly, still stroking your face lovingly. his gentle nature should have set off all of the alarms in your mind and body, but you didn’t have enough energy to care.

in the back of your mind you realized that you probably would never see your cat or your grandmother again, and that you would most likely be trapped in this forest with jaemin for the rest of your days on earth. you didn't want to think about it now, so you took his advice and allowed your eyes to close, dreaming of jaemin and nothing else.

maybe it wouldn’t be so bad.

[verai-marcel]

Forever and Always (RDR2 Fanfic, Arthur x F!Reader)

Summary: You reminisce about your life and have a sweet moment with your family.

Author’s Notes: I was listening to a podcast about wedding dress design and got inspired.

Tags: pure fluff, Arthur x F!Reader

Word Count: 1644

AO3 Link is right here, darlin’.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

Twenty-five years.

A quarter of a century.

Funny how time flies, and all of a sudden you're nearly fifty years old. Looking back, you can see the crazy turn of events in your life like some kind of movie, detached and yet feeling every single emotion as if you were there in that moment.

***

Fresh out of college, you remembered the night you found your partner sleeping with your roommate. The white hot rage and cold grip of disbelief sent you fleeing into the rain, into the streets, into a bar in the middle of the night. As you meandered between sadness and anger, a bartender had given you a cold glass of orange juice, soda water, and a bit of ice, with a shot of grenadine.

"Here ya go, sweetheart. On the house."

You had looked up and drowned in eyes the color of volcanic springs, finding the same warmth and comfort in his kind gaze. Taking a cautious sip of the drink, you found it to be the perfect drink, not too sweet, and took your time savoring it.

"What brings you here tonight?" he had asked.

After a moment of silence, he held up his hand. "You don't need to tell me if you don't want to."

He leaned in close. "But I'm happy to listen, whenever yer ready."

His sweet smile undid you, and you poured out your heart. He seemed to nod along with your story, as a stranger would, but there was a steadily growing fire in his eyes. After a while, after a few interruptions from other customers ordering drinks, you had finished venting, nursing the last of your drink and debating what your next move should be.

"Alright folks, last call!" the bartender shouted. A few people came up and got one last drink before he started to clean up.

"Well, thank you for listening to me," you said, dropping a tip on the bar. "I really appreciate it."

"I didn't catch yer name."

You told him.

He smiled. "I'm Arthur. Could… could ya wait a bit? I'll walk you home."

You slumped. "I don't want to go home."

Arthur raised an eyebrow at you. "Where were you goin' to go, then?"

You shrugged. "Walk around until sunrise, I guess. Not feeling sleepy."

He tilted his head as he observed you. After a few moments, he shook his head. "If you don't mind, you can come sleep on my couch. You need some rest, darlin'."

"Um…" As sweet as he was, you had just met him.

Arthur pulled out a pen and scribbled something on the back of a bar coaster before giving it to you. "Here's my address. You send it to someone you trust, so they know where you are."

Touched by his offer and his understanding of your hesitation, you agreed. You texted his address to your best friend who lived a city away and told her that you were staying with a new friend and that you'd call her in the morning and tell her everything.

Then you waited until Arthur was done with his shift and followed him home.

***

That was years ago. He had helped you deal with the whole situation with your ex-significant other and ex-roommate. He stood outside as backup while you confronted the two of them and told them that you were leaving. Then you found yourself temporarily moving in with Arthur, bunking on his sleeper sofa for a couple of weeks while you searched for another place to live.

And then you slept in his bed. And your temporary move became permanent.

Life continued. You slept together, in the adult sense of the term. You got pregnant. You dated. You gave birth. He proposed. You got married. He finished college. You became the breadwinner while he worked part time and took care of your daughter.

Nothing went in the 'normal' order of things, but what was normal, anyway?

Looking at the photos of your wonderful daughter when she was a small child, you smiled as you heard the doorbell ring.

"Hey Mom!"

"Hi Avery!" You greeted her with a warm hug. She was twenty-three now, working hard during her first year out of college. You got to see her a couple times a month, and each visit made you smile, no matter how grumpy she might be.

Today the two of you were just hanging out, having tea and going through some of the old boxes in the attic, when she pulled out an old scrapbook.

"Wow, didn't know you did scrapbooking."

"I didn't, I only made one for my wedding."

Together the two of you looked through your silly notes and hand picked photos, telling her the story behind each one, and who each person was.

"Do you still have your wedding dress?" she asked after seeing the photos of you and Arthur, dressed up in a tuxedo that barely fit his broad shoulders.

"I do, somewhere."

After some time searching, you found it, brushed it off, and held it up to your body. "I don't think it'll fit, I've gotten a bit wider since I wore it."

"C'mon Mom, just try it!"

Smiling, the two of you went to your bedroom and you managed to shove yourself mostly into the dress. Except for the shoulders.

"I've gotten more buff," you joked as you pulled the dress off yourself. "You try it."

Avery took the dress, stared at it for a moment, and with your help, pulled it on. It looked like it fit, until she moved her arms.

The sound of a seam ripping made you both pause.

"Oh my God, I'm so sorry–"

You patted her shoulder. "It's fine, sweetie. It's just a dress, it can be fixed. And you look beautiful in it."

Your daughter grinned, and you could see Arthur's eyes and smile on her face.

After she spun around a few times, she took it off and handed it back to you. Out of curiosity, you checked which seams had torn.

"It might fit you now," Avery joked.

"Sure, why not?"

You pulled it back on, and sure enough, the seams that had torn were the very ones stopping you from fitting your thicker arms through. You turned around and looked in the mirror. Twirling around a bit, you suddenly felt young again, remembering the first time you had tried this dress. Your two closest friends had been by your side, encouraging you to buy the dress because you were so pleased with it.

And you remembered the last time you had worn this dress, walking down the aisle with Arthur, hand in hand, the two of you grinning at each other as if there was nothing else in the world, just the two of you, happily in love.

"Let's take some photos outside!" Avery suggested, her eyes lighting up with enthusiasm.

Smiling at your daughter, you walked through your house and out to the small backyard that Arthur lovingly cared for, with a small waterfall and herb garden.

He was there, kneeling in the dirt, planting some new basil plants. He turned around at the sound of the back door opening.

"What're you two doin'–"

Arthur's words stopped abruptly as his jaw dropped. He hadn't seen you in that dress since the wedding, and for him, time stopped and all he saw was his beautiful lady, dressed in white, smiling like a goddess.

He quickly washed his hands with the garden hose, wiped them on his jeans, and came towards you.

"Beautiful, just like an angel," he said in awe.

You went to him, holding your hands out to him. He took them and brought them close to his heart before lifting your hands to his lips and kissing your fingers oh so so tenderly.

"Amazin', I feel the same as I did on our weddin' day, seein' you like this."

"I'm a little wider now…"

"That don't matter none," he said, leaning closer to you. His forehead touched yours and he looked into your eyes. "Yer always lovely."

"Awww!"

Avery's exclamation brought the two of you back to reality. She had her phone out and had been taking photos of the two of you, a giant grin on her face.

"I'll send these to you later, after I touch them up a bit," she said. "I, uh, got an errand to run. Bye Dad, bye Mom, I'll catch you later!"

She left, giving you a conspiratorial wink. You looked back at Arthur to find that his eyes hadn't left you for a single moment.

He was in his late fifties now, streaks of grey in his hair, giving him a sophisticated appearance. He smiled much more these days, finding happiness in tending his small garden and being outside in the sunlight. He was still strong, still broad shouldered, but he had filled out a little from your delicious home cooked meals.

And he still looked at you like you were his entire world.

"Should we go inside?" you asked with a mischievous smirk.

"I got mud on me," he said, although he didn't resist when you pulled him into the house.

"I'll get you all clean," you said. "Then we can get dirty."

"Darlin'," he said as if he was chastising you, yet he was chuckling softly as he let you lead the way.

***

That night, looking at the photos Avery had emailed, you realized how the two of you appeared, so deep in love. You both looked younger in her photos, and you wondered if it was because of the photo editing.

Showing Arthur, he just smiled and kissed your cheek, his whiskers scraping your skin lightly as he nuzzled you.

"See? Told you my feelin's fer you would never change." He pulled you into his arms and held you close.

"You'll always be my shinin' star."

--------------------

End Notes: I started with a small idea and it kinda got longer. Oops.

[drabbles-mc]

Anything For Family

Juice Ortiz x Reader

Request (I don’t have the URL of the person who requested this anymore so sorry I can’t tag you!): Can you write an imagine of Juice where his old lady has a son from a previous relationship that he has raised him as his own, the little boy calls him dad even when knows he is not his dad, one day the biological father return and wants his son so he kidnapped the reader and the little boy and Juice save them.

Warnings: language, kidnapping

Word Count: 3.1k

A/N: This was super different from the stuff that I usually write, so sorry if it’s a little clunky. Hope you enjoy it!

You smiled to yourself as you watched Juice pushing your son on your backyard swing set. The three of you had come so far as a family. Juice came crashing into your life a couple years after your son was born, and somehow the thought of being a step-father didn’t scare him away, the same way that the knowledge of him being part of the MC didn’t scare you away either. You hadn’t expected him to take to the family thing so quickly, but you could tell very shortly after the two of you had gotten together that he was in it for the long-haul.

You son’s biological father had been out of the picture for years. He knew that Juice wasn’t his first dad, but he was the only one that he had really any connection with. He was six years old now, and for four of those years Juice was the only constant male figure in his life—he even referred to him as dad and that made both you and Juice inexplicably happy.

“No higher on that swing,” you were saying it mostly to Juice but it didn’t hurt for both of them to hear.

“But Mom,” your son whined.

“Don’t make me come over there, Lucas,” you tried to sound firm but there was a smile on your face.

Juice took a step back, holding his hands up in surrender, “Whatever Mom says, goes. You know that.”

“Please, Dad?” he begged, “Just one more push?”

Juice looked over to you and you shook your head, “Juan Carlos I swear…”

There was a smile on Juice’s face as he stepped away from the swing. He walked around to the front of the swing set so he could better see just how high Lucas was going. He laughed as he watched him.

“Your mom is right, Luke, that’s high enough.”

You watched the two of them, your fingers idly spinning the rings on your finger. You and Juice had only been together for a year when you decided to get married, but both of you knew that you didn’t need more time to figure it out. Everything just fit and there was no point in delaying the inevitable. Your life together hadn’t been smooth-going all of the time, but at the end of the day you knew that there was no one in the world that you would rather have by your side raising a family with you. There were a few occasions that you wanted to ask Juice if he wanted to bring another child into your family, but the timing never seemed quite right to start that conversation.

“Dinner is going to be ready soon,” you called over to them, “So get ready to come in and wash up.”

You made your way back inside and started to set out plates and silverware for the three of you at the table. You hummed happily to yourself as you got everything situated for your two favorite men.

You were grabbing glasses out of the cupboard when you heard your phone vibrating on the counter. You glanced over and when you saw the name on your screen, you were sure that you had to be imagining things.

“Hello?”

“Don’t sound so surprised, baby,” he laughed.

“What do you want, Mike?” you were trying to sound cold and annoyed, but there was crippling fear coursing through you as you attempted to steady the hand that was holding the phone.

“I just want to spend some time with my son, with my family.”

“Not a fucking chance,” you shook your head despite the fact that he couldn’t see you, “You gave that up when you took off and then got yourself fucking arrested,” you looked outside to make sure that Juice and Luke weren’t coming inside yet.

“Well, I’m out now and you can’t keep him from me, Y/N. You two are my family and you can’t take that away from me.”

“I sure fucking can,” you hit the hang-up button and let out a shaky breath.

Over four years and you hadn’t heard a word from your ex, so why now? You never thought about what would happen when he got out of prison. Truthfully, you assumed that regardless of when he got out, he wasn’t going to want anything to do with you or with Lucas. He wasn’t ready to be a father back then, and you assumed that a few years on the inside wasn’t going to change any of that.

Your spiraling thoughts were interrupted when your son and Juice came crashing into the house roaring with laughter, blissfully unaware of what had just happened. Luke scampered off to the bathroom to wash his hands before dinner and Juice found himself beside you in the kitchen. He searched your face, his smiling dropping away when he realized that something was off.

“What’s wrong?”

You shook your head, “I, um, fuck,” you nervously ran your hands through your hair, “Mike just called.”

His eyes grew wide, “Luke’s father?”

“His sperm donor,” you muttered bitterly.

“What’d he want?”

You shrugged, “He’s out now, I guess. Wants to see Luke and I. He, uh,” tears were stinging at your eyes, “he didn’t sound like he was going to take no for an answer.”

He gently wrapped his arms around you, pulling you close to his chest, “Does he know where we are now?”

You shook your head, “Not that I know of. He doesn’t even know that I’m married. When…when he left I cut all ties with him.”

He nodded, “Okay,” he kissed your temple, “That’s good. Listen, if he reaches out again, let me know. I can look into him and see where he’s at now.”

“I don’t want you getting wrapped up in this, Juan.”

“Hey,” he tilted your chin so you were looking up at him, “I’ll do everything and anything to make sure that you and Luke are safe and happy, okay? There’s nothing that I wouldn’t do for the two of you.”

Before the two of you could continue the conversation, Luke came bounding into the kitchen, looking excitedly over at the meal you had prepared. Juice gave you a quick kiss on the lips and went about bringing the last of the dishes over to the table, giving you a moment to try and collect yourself before dinner.

Once dinner was done, the dishes washed, and Luke was tucked into bed, Juice came and sat down next to you on the couch. Your eyes had been glued to your phone screen, waiting for it to light up with your ex’s name. It hadn’t happened, but for some reason that made you even more nervous than if he had been blowing up your phone. Juice rested his hand on your thigh, giving you a reassuring squeeze.

“What do you need me to do?” his voice was soft.

You shrugged, shaking your head, “I have no idea,” a tear escaped down your cheek, “I have no idea what he’s going to do, what he’s capable of.”

“Do you want to stay at the clubhouse for a few days?” he offered up, “I know it’s not ideal but at least he wouldn’t think to find you there.”

You shook your head, grateful for the offer but you had no intention of bringing Luke into the depths of that chaos at such a young age if you could help it, “No, no, that’s alright. Thank you, though. There really isn’t any reason that he would be able to find us here.”

As much as Juice didn’t want to say something to freak you out more than you already were, he was very aware of the fact that Charming was a small town. You didn’t live where you did five years ago, sure, but it wouldn’t take all that much to find out where you had moved to. It wasn’t like there were a whole lot of options.

The racing thoughts in your head were exhausting. You curled up against Juice’s side and let him pull you in close. The amount of stress this had caused you in the span of just a few hours had you worried for what the next few days were going to be like. You trusted that Juice would look into him and find out some useful information, but there was a lot left unknown until then. You didn’t even want to send Luke to school, but what were you supposed to tell him when he asked why you were keeping him home?

You woke up the next morning when you felt Juice trying to carefully crawl out of bed. He always tried his hardest not to wake you and yet he was never successful. He looked back to you when he heard a small groan escape from your lips. He pressed a gentle kiss into your forehead.

“I’m gonna head to the clubhouse, and also get in touch with Unser. We’ll figure out everything we can and take it from there, okay?”

You nodded, exhausted but still grateful that he was mulling this over as much as you had been. You mumbled a soft, “I love you,” and then let him get ready for his day. You drifted back to sleep, the emotional exhaustion of the previous night still weighing heavily on you.

You woke up the next time to the alarm on your phone going off. You groaned and turned it off. Slowly sitting up in your bed you rubbed the sleep from your eyes. You glanced around the empty room, wishing that you still felt as safe as you had before you had gotten the call from your ex. You took a deep breath and made the decision to keep Luke out of school for the day, at least until Juice was able to get some more information on what Mike was even up to these days.

The house was silent as you made your way to Luke’s bedroom. You smiled at him from the doorway as you watched him sleep so peacefully. You walked in and sat down on the edge of his bed, gently running your fingers through his hair. He started to stir and he opened his eyes slowly.

“Good morning,” you smiled at him, “I’m thinking that you and I both take the day off today, how does that sound?”

“No school?” it snapped him completely awake.

You laughed, nodding, “No school. Just for today though, okay?”

He shot up and hugged you, “Yes!”

A smile spread across your face despite the anxiety that was pooling in the pit of your stomach. You knew that Lucas loved school, but just like with anything, it was always nice to have an unexpected day off to just do a whole lot of nothing. You weren’t planning on taking him anywhere, figuring that the less the two of you were out and about, the better. But just being able to stay home and watch movies and play in the back yard would be enough for him.

You made breakfast for the two of you, trying not to be obvious about the fact that you were constantly checking your phone. Between dreading when your ex was going to reach out, and waiting for Juice to reach out with some information or some good news, it was hard to look away. The last thing that you wanted, though, was to have your son start worrying too.

He was scrolling through movie titles, looking for something for the two of you to watch, when you heard a knock at the door. You checked your phone again, making sure that you didn’t miss anything. You slowly walked over to the door, taking a deep breath before opening it to see who was on the other side.

Your heart dropped into your stomach. He smiled at you, “Don’t look so happy to see me.”

“Mom, who is it?” there was the sound of quick footsteps and Luke appeared right beside you.

Mike smiled at him, “Hey, little man. I can’t believe how big you’ve gotten.”

You protectively pushed him behind you, “What do you want?”

He returned his gaze to you, “I told you, you can’t keep him from me. You’re my family.”

“That’s an overstatement if ever I heard one,” you fought to keep your composure, not wanting to falter in front of your son.

“Why don’t the three of us go for a ride, hm?” he pushed the door open all the way.

You were trying to stay as calm as possible as you rode shotgun in your ex’s car. You could feel how uncomfortable your son felt and you didn’t want to make it worse by causing a scene. What you didn’t know, though, was how to handle the situation. Mike had taken your cell phone so you had no way to try and reach out to Juice. Every couple of minutes you’d glance back at Luke and offer up a reassuring smile.

“Where are we going?” he asked, nervously twisting his hands in his lap.

Mike looked at him through the rearview mirror and smiled, “Just for a little road trip. We can find a fun hotel to stay in for the night. It’ll be fun, yea?”

Luke nodded but you could tell that all he wanted to do was go back home. The man driving the car was not a man that he knew, let alone considered family. He had no reason to feel that way.

Your phone started to vibrate on the seat between you. Before you could reach to grab it, Mike snatched it up and looked to see who was calling. Juice’s contact photo lit up the entire screen. He shot you an angry look before returning his eyes to the road.

“Who the hell is Juan?”

Fear shot through you, knowing that you wouldn’t be able to lie, “M-my husband.”

“Husband?!”

“Please don’t yell,” your voice shook slightly.

He tossed the phone at you, “Answer it so he doesn’t come looking. Be smart about it.”

You cleared your throat as you hit the green button, “Hey.”

“Hey, so I talked to Unser this morning and,” he paused when he heard you sniffle on the other end of the line, “Whoa, baby, is everything okay?”

“Yea, yea we’re good,” you were hardly able to keep your voice steady.

“Where are you?”

“Lucas and I just went for a drive. We’re fine, you don’t need to worry.”

His voice was hushed, “Your GPS on?”

You laughed to throw off the man sitting next to you in the car, “Of course. We’ll talk to you soon. I love you.”

“I love you, Y/N. I’ll come get you guys, don’t worry.”

Before you could say anything more, Mike grabbed the phone out of your hand and ended the call. He didn’t make any other comment about the fact that you had gotten married. You had to assume that he really hadn’t thought about that possibility. Judging from his erratic behavior, he clearly didn’t think through much of anything at all.

The three of you were camped out in a motel room. Mike was sitting on the bed with Luke, watching cartoons on the television. You were sat at the far end of the bed, just trying to keep it together while you waited for Juice to miraculously show up. Between his connections in the club, and the people from the police department that he knew, you had to keep the hope that he was going to show up and find the three of you. What you didn’t know, though, was how the situation was going to continue after that.

Minutes ticked by and turned into hours. You had been able to keep Luke calm and mostly happy, although you could tell that he was incredibly confused as to what was going on. You were surprised at how well Mike was keeping it together, but you knew that he was a time-bomb waiting to go off.

There was a knock at the door and Mike stood up, pressing his ear to the door, “Who is it?”

“Motel maintenance. There’s been a problem with the gas lines and I need to check every room.”

You knew that voice and you inwardly sighed with relief. Juice was smart enough to not come alone. He at least had Jax with him, and probably a few of the other guys from the club as well. You motioned for your son to come closer to you and you hugged him tight to your side.

Mike let out a sigh as he went to open the door, “Alright, make it qui—”

He didn’t get to finish his sentence as Jax kicked the door in hard, slamming it into his forehead and knocking the man backwards. You instantly stood up and scooped your son up into your arms, holding him tight to you and making sure he was facing away from whatever was about to unfold.

“Y/N,” you heard Juice’s voice as he came crashing into the room, tears were in his eyes as he wrapped the both of you in a hug, “Lucas, I’m so glad you guys are okay.”

You let out a shaky breath as you felt him press his lips to the side of your head, “Thank you so much.”

He stepped back and cupped your face in his hands, “Chibs is outside with the truck waiting for you two. We’re gonna handle this, I’ll meet you at home soon, okay?”

The last thing you wanted to do was be separated from him, but you knew that hanging around to see what happened next wasn’t going to be good for you or for your son. You kissed him, told him you loved him, and let Luke hug him before heading out of the motel room, trying as hard as you could to shield your son’s eyes from whatever was beginning to unfold.

You heard the front door open and you sat upright, your entire body tense until you saw that it was Juice who had just walked in. You let out a sigh of relief, settling back into the couch, not wanting to disturb your son who had passed out with his head in your lap.

“You’re home,” you said softly, with a tired smile.

He walked over and kissed Luke’s head before pressing his lips to yours, “You’re home.”

“What hap—”

He cut you off, placing his hand gently on your shoulder, “You’re safe,” he looked down at your son, his son, “You’re both safe.”

You didn’t need any more explanation than that. You settled against his touch and took the first deep breath you had taken all day. It was nice to know that you were always going to have someone that was going to do whatever it took to keep your family safe.

[imagineaworlds]

I Love You (Part Thirty-Two) -- Aaron Hotchner

Written By: @desperately-bisexual​

Request: None.

Warnings: SMUT!! Cursing. Unprotected sex. Wrap it before you tap it, ladies, gentlemen, and nonbinary sibs. Dom/sub relationship. Sir kink. Impregnation kink. Soft sex. Emotional sex. The reader does go by they/them pronouns, however, Hotch refers to them as female when saying “good girl”.

Pairing: Aaron Hotchner x Greenaway!Reader

Word Count: 12194

Timeline: A month after part thirty-one.

I sighed as I pushed all of Hotch’s work to the side just so that I could get to my desk in our office. Since getting out of the hospital about two weeks ago, Hotch had turned our home office into a conspiracy theory pit. He had so many pictures of Foyet, his victims, the crime scenes, the news clippings about The Reaper, and so on hung on the walls that I couldn’t even remember what color the walls were. About a week into this whole project of his was when he pulled out the red string. From there, our office became a maze. It was like I was goddamn Catherine Zeta Jones in Entrapment the way I was weaving through all of it.

But I couldn’t tell him to take it down. Hotch spent two weeks in the hospital, and then he had to spend another two weeks at home as he recovered from Foyet’s attack, underwent physical and psychological evaluations, and I practically made him go on bed rest the rest of the time. Because he wasn’t allowed to go back to work, he had to spend his time working on finding Foyet. I hated that I had to go to work every day without him because of that. I knew that this was eating at him, and I couldn’t stay around long enough to console him or talk him down. It was irritating both of us.

It had only been a month since we said goodbye to Haley and Jack, yet it felt like an eternity. My little man… Every day we were forced apart, I felt a piece of me die. Was that odd? Was it weird to miss someone else’s son like he was your own? Was it weird that I took Red, mine and Jack’s favorite dinosaur, with me everywhere? To the office, on cases, at home. Everywhere. It probably wasn’t as weird as when I would come home to find Hotch napping on Jack’s bed. That mattress was way too small for him. I mean, he would curl up on it as much as possible, and yet his feet would somehow still be hanging off the edge. But it was how he was coping. It was how we were both coping. And the worst part was, we were doing it separately.

In our line of work, Hotch and I had worked dozens of cases with parents that lost a child in a kidnapping or murder. The BAU didn’t just specialize in profiling the Unsubs and victimology—that was a large part of it, obviously, but there was an unspoken part of the job that always struck me during those kinds of cases. Parents mourning the loss of a child were profiled to inevitably always split up. Like the case we worked in Vegas just before Dallas, a son had been kidnapped while walking to a friend’s house, and the parents were slowly drifting apart. They blamed each other. They couldn’t bear to even look at each other. Getting them to cooperate with the investigation so that we could find their son was nearly impossible. Yet we weren’t shocked by that behavior, because that was how mourning couples were always profiled. I just never thought that it would happen to me and Hotch.

No one ever expects that they’re going to lose everything. No one anticipates having to say goodbye to their son. A month ago, we had to say goodbye to Jack, and we honestly weren’t sure if we were ever going to see him again. Foyet was playing the long game with us now. Who knew when he was going to turn up again with another clue so that we could find him? There was a chance that by the time we either caught up to him or he died, Jack wouldn’t know who we were, so there’d be no point in bringing him back. There was a chance that his life would be better off without us. And that was damn near impossible to admit.

However, I thought that Hotch and I were going to come to terms with all of this together. I thought that because we loved each other, and because we knew what the profiles said, that we would somehow work together to prove the profile wrong and work through this side by side. That was what I thought. I spent every day with him when he was in the hospital and I wasn’t on a case. Every single goddamn day. Yet, when he came home, he locked himself in his office, and he practically stopped looking at me altogether.

I would cry every night. I would get home from work, and there were times when I couldn’t even make it to the couch. I would just collapse right there in the entryway, and I wouldn’t get up until the sun started rising for another day. And Hotch never came to hold me. There were other times when I’d come home to hear him sobbing in the office, and I thought about going to console him, but he had locked the door. When I initially tried playing with the doorknob, Hotch immediately stopped crying. He sniffled then told me to go away. So, I stopped trying to go in after that. He stopped trying with me, so I inevitably stopped trying with him. One night, I even thought about moving out. I mean, we weren’t acting like a couple. We had proved the profile correct, and I knew that once that happened—statistically speaking—we were never going to get back together. But I still held on hope. I prayed that he would finally take a moment to realize that he could break down in front of me. I would be there to hold him when he needed it. Until then, there was nothing I could do.

The minute he was cleared to go back to work, Hotch took it. I didn’t think he would go back so soon. One, because of his injuries; two, because going back to work meant that he wouldn’t have all day, every day to pointlessly look for Foyet. He hadn’t found a single goddamn lead in a month, but he was still hacking at it. That was why I was shocked when he gave it up just to go back to the BAU. We even had an argument about it. The day he finally came out of the office to tell me he passed all of his exams, I cracked. I was so fucking pissed at him. He spent a month refusing to look at me, talk to me, sleep in the same bed as me, eat the fucking dining table with me—and then he had the fucking audacity to smile at me and say, “I’m going back to work tomorrow.”

I lost my shit. Truly. I looked back at him and said, “I don’t care what the Bureau says, I don’t want you going back yet. They’re not the ones who have to worry about you, Aaron!”

Hotch’s smile fell. “Drop it.”

I shook my head. “I know you lied during your psych evals. I know that you pushed yourself too hard during your physicals— I saw all the bloody gauze in the trash. So, don’t you dare fucking lie to me again like you did in Cincinnati, Aaron Hotchner—”

“I told you to fucking drop it!” he bellowed. I took a frightened step back. His face immediately softened. “Y/N— I’m sorry—”

“I’m going to Morgan’s house.” I looked at the floor. “I guess I’ll see you at work tomorrow.”

And that was how I ended up in the office upstairs, trying to get into my desk so that I could grab some old paperwork for reference on the case report I was currently working on. I was going to Morgan’s house, but that didn’t mean I was going to stop working. Once I had that stuff, I grabbed my spare go-bag from the closet, then made my way downstairs.

Hotch tried to step in my path at the bottom of the stairs, but I pushed past him. He was attempting to apologize profusely while following me around. I kept my head high and just moved to the front door as fast as I could. Since Foyet attacked him, Hotch had practically turned our house security system into something that rivaled the fucking security systems at the office. He had someone come in to put in a new alarm that was set at all times. If we weren’t home, all of the windows, doors, and motion sensors were set. If someone opened a door, broke a window, or moved within the house, about seven different alarms would start going off. When we were at home, only the doors and windows were set. But if we wanted to leave the house, we had to put a code into the alarm first; and when we were coming home, we had to put the code in as fast as possible before the alarms would be set off. So, while Hotch tried to make me stay, I reached around him to put my code in, then headed out.

“Y/N!” he shouted angrily at me again as he stormed into the yard. “Y/N, get back here!”

I flipped him off as I kept walking to my car. I wasn’t even going to take our car. We put my car, the one I had been using before I moved in with Hotch, in the garage sized shed at the back of the driveway, just against the fence to the backyard. It hadn’t been used in so long… I mean, if we needed to use separate cars, I’d dust mine off so that Hotch could have our car, but for the most part, we made it work with one car. This time, though, I was taking my car to make a point. He fucked up. This argument was bad, but it was more than that. This was the result of a month’s worth of fuck ups, and I was sick of it.

I didn’t want to leave him. I loved Hotch more than anything, and I was still convinced that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him, even when things were bad like this. But I couldn’t stay. Not when I could see that he was ruining his own life for nothing. I told him in Cincinnati that I wouldn’t tolerate him fucking up his own health for selfish reasons. He promised me that he wouldn’t pull this shit again. And yet… There we were… He was fucking it all up again. And I just couldn’t take it. I couldn’t watch him slowly deteriorate. I loved him too much to do that to either of us.

“Y/N—” he banged on my window as I slowly backed out of the driveway. “I’m sorry, please. Baby… Come on… I’m sorry. Stop this. I get it— I shouldn’t have yelled— Baby— I’m sorry—” He had to stop hitting his palms against my windows as the car turned onto the road. He slammed his hands as hard as he could onto the hood of the car. “Goddammit, Y/N! Get out of the fucking car!” I stared him down because he wasn’t moving out of the way. “Stop this, baby,” he pleaded calmly. “Just come home.” I shook my head. He frowned again, his eyes glinting a slight dark red as anger overtook him again. “Get out of the car,” he demanded once more, making his way over to my car door to try and pry it open, even though it was locked. The second he wasn’t in front of the car, though, I laid my foot down on the gas and raced off.

When I got to Morgan’s house, I explained everything, and he set me up in his guest room. This wasn’t the first time I had sought asylum in his house. Since Hotch wasn’t there to comfort me, I had to turn to the only other person who could, and that was Morgan. Granted, this was the first time I was sleeping over. But still. There were plenty of afternoons when I’d detour to his house after work just to cry on his couch as he held me. If I would wake up in the middle of the night with a nightmare of finding Hotch dead on our living room floor, I’d drive over to Morgan’s house and cry on his couch until I could calm down. It was unfair to Morgan. I recognized that. He was his own man with his own life and problems, and there I was, always barging in unannounced to unload my problems. But where else was I going to go? There were times when I thought about how much I missed Elle, and I wanted her to be there for me in moments like this, but she was gone. She abandoned me… and… she wasn’t coming back, apparently. Morgan was all I had.

As it got late, and we both needed to rest, he offered to stay and sleep with me, but I told him I’d be fine. He reluctantly obeyed (not for the reason most people would assume). It was no secret that Derek Morgan was a “playa”, to put it in his terms. He liked getting into the pants of any and every girl that would give him consent, and he liked teasing Garcia in a… less than platonic way, and sometimes we would do that, too, but not really. That being said, Derek Morgan would never, ever take advantage of someone, especially when they were as vulnerable as I was that night. He only offered to sleep in the same bed as me because that was how close we were, and he was willing to comfort me if I needed it. But I knew that I needed some space and time to think, and he needed some sleep in order to be ready for work the next day. So, when I turned him down, he gave in. He kissed my temple, squeezed my shoulders in a tight side embrace, then left the room quietly, carefully closing it behind him.

When he was gone, I opened my go-bag to pull out my pajamas. Yet, when I saw what I had packed away in there, I froze. I had packed this so long ago. I grabbed the first bag I saw. I didn’t even think to check what was in it. I was so fucking stupid. Unfortunately, however, there was nothing I could do about it now. I just had to suck it up and wear them, because it was either wearing what I packed or wearing what I left the house in. Either way, I was not going back just to pick up a different pair of pajamas.

I sighed. Unenthusiastically, I stripped myself of my clothes, then changed into one of Hotch’s old college sweatshirts and a pair of his blue and gold flannel pajama pants to match. I was planning on getting him another pair for his birthday in the next few weeks because I stole his, and I felt bad because of that. Also, because I had originally stolen these and put them in my go-bag recently after the stabbing, figuring that I needed something of his with me on cases while I was gone and he was at home. I had Jack’s red dinosaur toy with me at all times, I just needed Hotch’s clothing with me, too, considering that was the extent of the attention I got from him. But now… Things were just too confusing. I was upset that I didn’t just pack my own goddamn clothes.

That being said, I still cuddled under the blankets, and I pulled the collar of the sweatshirt over my nose to keep me warm while also taking in his scent. Within the past year or so, Hotch had given up his familiar Aqua Velva scent in exchange for a cinnamon and pine. He had gone into his closet one day, pulled out all of my favorite items of his to steal, took them outside, then practically drenched them in the cologne once he knew I liked it. I didn’t know until I came home from dinner with Emily one night to find that the entire fucking house reeked of cinnamon and pine. It took a while for the neighborhood to air out, but once it did, I was left with Hotch’s scent attached to each article of clothing, and I loved it. That night, while lying in a strange bed without the love of my life beside me, I found that my only comfort was that scent. I hugged my torso and inhaled.

I knew that he was sorry. I knew that he didn’t mean for any of this to happen. And, honestly, I knew that neither of us meant for things to blow up the way they did. But now that they had, I wasn’t sure where to go from there, how to navigate all of this. We couldn’t go back to normal. Could we? I’d be the first to admit that he scared me earlier. I knew that he would never hurt me, but deep down, in the pit of my stomach, I was terrified of him. After not having his love for so long, his outburst… It took me aback. There was a moment there, when he shouted at me the first time, I saw a glimpse of that night in high school, and I heard him yelling at me for not cooperating. That was why I had to leave. It wasn’t Hotch’s fault. My mind was playing tricks on me, but I couldn’t let it ruin the one good thing I had in my life: Aaron Hotchner. I just needed some time and space.

Time. And. Space.

That was what I asked for when I arrived at Quantico the next day. Morgan and I drove in at the same time, then he met me at the elevator after we both went through security, and he asked me if I wanted back up (or a mediator) while talking to Hotch. As we stepped into the elevator, I denied his offer quietly. Upstairs, in the BAU, Reid and Emily were trying to show me pictures of Henry, JJ’s son. She had him shortly after Hotch was stabbed. And by shortly, I meant that we hadn’t even left the fucking hospital yet when she went into labor. But now she was itching to get back to work, and I was shocked. It had only been a few weeks. I thought that the human body literally couldn’t handle getting back to work that fast, but maybe she wasn’t looking to work in the field quite yet. I understood if she just wanted to sit in the office to do paperwork around Anderson or hang out in Garcia’s office for a bit. I could understand that. I just thought that she would want to spend more time with Will and Henry, but who was I to judge her? I promised I would never do that after she judged me—and, yes, it was so that I could prove that I was the better person, I wasn’t afraid to admit that.

I headed straight into Hotch’s office. I found that he was sitting on his couch, his head in his hands, an old picture of him, Jack, and Haley in his lap. As I snuck closer, I saw that he had printed a picture of me and him out, and he had it taped to the bottom corner of that picture frame. Our family. Our story. Our everything.

I cleared my throat to let him know that I was there. “Sorry, I’ll come back later.”

Hotch looked up from his hands. When he realized that I was really standing there in front of him, he threw the photos to the side and jumped to his feet. “No, wait—” He hurried over to me. “Please.”

I stopped. “Okay.”

“Baby, I am so sorry.” He wasn’t getting close enough to put a hand on me, which I silently appreciated. “I didn’t mean to yell or get worked up. I’ve just been so worried—”

“Aaron, I really didn’t come to make up.”

His posture changed to something more shy and confused. “What?”

“I’m sorry… But, I, uh… I’m just here as an employee right now.”

Hotch searched my eyes for a moment while he tried to understand what was happening. I wasn’t looking him in the eye, I wasn’t trying to impress him with anything, and I wasn’t even trying to give us privacy by closing the door. In fact, I didn’t want privacy. I didn’t want to give him a chance to try to hug or kiss me. With the blinds and door still open, he had to obey the rules we created for ourselves at work, and I could tell that it was killing him, but I was there for a specific reason, and it wasn’t because I was ready to hear his apology yet. He might have felt he was ready for it, but I wasn’t.

“Okay,” Hotch said while he nodded. He moved to take a seat at his desk. “Sit.” He gestured to the empty seats across from him. “What’s this about?”

“I’m requesting a few personal days off.”

“Why?”

“You’re not supposed to ask me that, Agent Hotchner.”

His eyes narrowed at me. “It’s my job, Agent Greenaway, to ensure that my team is okay both physically and mentally.”

“Well, I’m fine, Agent Hotchner, thank you for checking on me.”

“Stop this, Y/N. Please.”

“I can formally request this time off through Chief Strauss, if need be.”

He hesitated as his brown eyes added a red tint of anger. “That’ll not be necessary.”

“So, you’ll give it to me?”

“Only if you tell me why.”

“You know why.”

“Why?” he asked with a hiss. The tension was growing in the room.

“I just need to clear my head.”

“That’s not good enough!” he exclaimed angrily. I could see that he was holding himself back from hitting the table or swiping his papers off the desk. “What’s this really about? Is it really about our argument, Y/N? Can we please, for a minute, just stop dancing around the truth and say what we feel—”

My blood boiled over. “You’re not the only one who lost a son, Aaron!” I shouted at the top of my lungs. There was a moment where we stared at each other as we both realized what I had said. I was shaking so bad. A thought passed by me that maybe I should have stopped there, left it alone, gone home to take another breather. But I wasn’t wrong. Jack was my son, too. I lost him, too. I was hurting, too. And I needed Hotch there to hold me, but he wasn’t. So, I continued, “I was right there with you when we saw him for the last time. You aren’t the only one suffering here, Hotch. I wake up every day and I wish that I could turn the corner in our home and see him sitting at the table, eating Cheerios for breakfast. I wish that we could still take him to soccer every Saturday. And I fucking wish that I could keep spoiling him even though you tell me not to. I love your son like he’s my own, Aaron. I know he’s not mine, and I know that he never will be… but, damn it, I love you and I love him. And the fact that we’re both mourning over losing him to this asshole, and I’m trying to be there for you, but you keep pushing me away when I need you, too… That’s cruel. It’s unfair. I have never felt more alone than I have over the past month. You need to get your shit together, and I need some time to come to terms with the fact that I may never see Jack again. So, I’ll ask you again, may I please have some time off?”

He paused while staring at me. I could see a sparkle in his eyes that came from the tears welling, the apologetic and deeply sorry tears. It broke my heart to see him like that. It absolutely tore me in half to see him cry because of something I said… but what else was I supposed to do? He wanted me to tell him the truth, so I did. It hurt to do it, but it was necessary, and now that he knew just how horrible he had been, I could tell that he didn’t want to be angry anymore. Now that he understood, I realized that he just wanted to hold me and apologize until he couldn’t breathe. But I still needed time. As much as I would’ve loved to be in his arms, kissing him, telling him that I’d always love him… I needed time away to clear my head. I needed time away from him to come to terms with the loss we had.

“Where are you going to go?” he croaked.

I lied and said that I was going to stay at a hotel for a few days before returning to work; but we both clearly knew that I was staying with Morgan. I wanted to be with someone I trusted. I wanted to be with someone I loved. I didn’t want to be alone. Morgan’s house was a safe haven for me whenever I needed it, and I usually didn’t take him up on the offer, but now I was in desperate need of it.

“Okay,” Hotch gave in. “Take all the time you need. But… Y/N… I need you to know that you will always have a place here, and you will always have a place back at home with me.”

I stared at him for another second before pushing myself out of my seat. “I’ll see you in a few days, Agent Hotchner.”

After leaving Hotch’s office, I saw that the entire office was staring at me. Maybe I should’ve closed the door, in hindsight. Nothing to do about it now, though. They all heard every single word, and now they couldn’t look away from the train wreck that was Y/N Greenaway and Aaron Hotchner. I was sure that somewhere out there, wherever he was, Jason Gideon was laughing and saying: “I told you so.” No one else in the office seemed to be thinking that, especially after the screaming match I just had with our boss, but I knew that Gideon was chuckling somewhere in the world.

I started my walk of shame down the ramp. Even Rossi had come out of his office to lean against his doorframe while watching me, probably waiting for a perfect opportunity to sneak into Hotch’s office to comfort him— or maybe even talk some sense into him. I hoped that it was the latter.

A few days later, I heard the front door of Morgan’s place open up. I turned on the couch to see an exhausted Morgan throw his used go-bag onto the floor, then crash onto the empty couch space next to me. He sighed and rested his head on my lap. He had been away on a case since the day I left Hotch’s office after we argued. We had been texting since he left because he wanted to make sure I was alright and that I was taking care of Clooney, his German Shepard. I loved that dog. I thought he was adorable—and he was so well behaved. He rested at my feet on the bed every night to keep me company. It was nice to have company, even though Morgan was away and I wasn’t talking to Hotch.

“You know, I’ll leave and go to a hotel, if you want me to. I don’t mean to just… intrude on your life,” I said after giving him a moment to relax.

Morgan looked up at me upside down. “Never.” He smirked, “Unless you’re going to be living here any longer than a month, in which case, you need to start paying rent.”

I matched his smirk, “No. I just need a couple more days, I think. If that.”

He nodded understandingly. “You wanna order take out for dinner?”

“Sure.”

He did a sit up before standing on his feet and hurrying over to the house phone so that he could order dinner for us. I sighed and relaxed in Hotch’s sweatshirt. It was starting to smell less and less like him, which only made me more desperate to get home. But I liked the freedom I had been experiencing over the past few days. With the time I got to spend on my own in silence, I got to think about how much I missed my little man, while coming to terms with the fact that this was the best choice—the only choice we could make. Sending them away in order to protect them was the right thing to do. Jack was safe with Haley. They were safe under Sam’s protection. Coming to terms about that much was hard while I was around Hotch, who was only moping around all day. Now that some time had passed, I was a bit calmer about the situation, and I was just ready to get our family back. But I still needed another day or two, just for good measure. After that, I’d race to apologize profusely to Hotch, begging for him to take me back after running away like that. I felt like a bitch, okay. Maybe it was a bit overdramatic to run away, but at the time, I didn’t know what else to do. But now that the tension had sizzled out and I was clear headed about the situation, I realized how sorry I was for leaving in the first place.

When the food arrived, Morgan and I sat crisscross on the couch while facing each other and talking about whatever came to mind. At some point, casual talk turned to work talk. As it always did. I asked him to tell me about the case the team just got back from, and he told me that they had dealt with an Unsub who was drowning his victims in methanol in order to get rid of their stench. When I asked how it ended, he hesitated.

“Morgan?”

He gulped and told me that Hotch took off his vest, handed his gun to Rossi, then went inside to negotiate a peaceful surrender with the Unsub. My eyes shot wide. Why the fuck did Hotch do that? Why would he— I didn’t understand. How could he be so stupid? How could he risk his life like that? How could he risk leaving me and Jack behind? How was I supposed to live with the fact that we ended on bad terms if something were to have happened to him?

“What happened?” I asked, frightened.

Morgan pushed his food around in order to give himself a reason to not look at me. “The Unsub shot the girl, ran away, got in his cab, and we started chasing after him. Half of the city was looking for him, Y/N, yet, somehow, Hotch was the one who found him. The guy tried speeding off again to get away from Hotch, but when Hotch shot at him, he crashed into a truck, immediately killing him.”

“Is Hotch okay?” I leaned forward to express my eagerness for a positive answer. He hesitated again. “Derek Morgan, you tell me right now—”

“He’s okay, Y/N.”

I relaxed and let out a breath. “Good.”

“But…”

My eyes shot up at him. “But?”

“Strauss temporarily promoted me to Unit Chief.”

“What? Why?”

“Because Hotch isn’t fit to be in a position of power right now, sunshine. We both know that. He isn’t fit to lead a team right now.” He set his food on the table next to us. “Strauss and Rossi made the decision when we got off the plane.” He grabbed my hands. “It’s just until Hotch is back to being Hotch, honey bunches, I promise.”

I scoffed. “And how long do you think that’ll be?”

“I’m not sure. But I think that if you went back to work, it might help some.” His eyes pouted at me. “He has nothing to live for right now, Y/N. You left, Jack and Haley are gone, Foyet’s taunting him, and his ability to do this job is… being questioned. Having you around, as you are, it might remind him that he still has everything to live for.”

I understood that he couldn’t read my mind. I knew that he couldn’t’ve possibly known that I had already decided that I was going to go back to work soon, so it made sense that he felt he needed to tell me that Hotch’s best chance was going back. So, I gave in just for the sake of making Morgan feel like he did something.

“I think I’m gonna head to bed early,” I said quietly.

“What? No—Y/N, I didn’t mean to upset you or—”

“Morgan, it’s not your fault.” I set my food to the side. “I, um… Tomorrow… It’s just going to be a long day, so I should get some extra sleep.”

“Sugar, I really didn’t mean to—”

“Tomorrow is Jack’s birthday.”

He immediately fell silent, his shoulders giving out his posture when he realized he had pried too far. He apologized quietly. I opened my mouth to tell him that I didn’t care about his prying, but it got caught in my throat when a sob bubbled up a little too far. I excused myself before running to “my” room.

I crashed onto the bed. As I pulled the covers up over my body, hiding my head from the world, I grabbed my phone and opened the Photos app. The sob I was holding back finally crashed through me when I saw a picture of Hotch and Jack cuddling in the hammock in our backyard. Hotch had been laying out there after work, watching Jack play soccer. By the time dinner was ready, I went outside to collect them, only to find that Jack had given up on kicking the ball around so that he could lay on his dad’s chest. Hotch’s arms were wrapped around Jack’s entire body. They were dead asleep, probably had been for at least an hour. I couldn’t bother them when they were like that. So, I took a picture, then let them be. Finally, when it got too cold, they came inside, Jack still half asleep in his dad’s arms as he was carried upstairs to his room.

That was such a perfect night. We had dozens of nights like that, where the small, random things were taken for granted. Now that we didn’t have Jack, I wished I could go back in time. I wished that I would’ve just sat outside on the patio while drinking my wine, feeling the way my heart swelled as they snored together, the hammock rocking under them.

I reached over for Red, mine and Jack’s favorite toy, and I pulled it close to my chest. Tomorrow was going to be horrible to bear alone.

The next morning, I woke up to the sound of Morgan knocking on my door. I groaned and rolled over to check my phone for the time. That was when I realized that I hadn’t charged it all night. I went to bed around three, my eyelids too heavy from crying for so long. Since I hadn’t plugged my phone in, it was obviously dead. I groaned again. The door opened once Morgan heard me shuffling around on the bed. I hid my puffy face under the comforter while simultaneously trying to trick him into thinking that I was asleep. I felt like Jack. Jack… It was officially his birthday. I mean, I had been awake when the clock struck midnight, but this was different. The sun was out, the birds were chirping, and Morgan was telling me that he was leaving for work. It truly was Jack’s birthday now. There was no escaping it.

The mattress sank slightly as Morgan sat next to me. He put a hand on my shoulder, then leaned down to kiss the top of my head. “I’ll see you when I get home—if we’re not called away on a case.” He made a move to stand.

I grabbed his hand, revealing my red and swollen eyes. “Take it easy on Hotch today. Don’t let anyone give him a hard time. Please.”

“I’ll try.”

He kissed my forehead gently again, then silently stood and left the room, making sure to reclose the door behind him on his way out. I huffed and slumped back onto the pillows, feeling the way I sunk into the comfort of the blankets, the mattress, and the feather pillows. My relaxation didn’t last long, though, because the next thing I knew, the sound of scratching on the door disturbed me. I rolled out of bed and opened the door so that Clooney could run in. He jumped onto my bed and nuzzled his nose under the blankets. I smiled. At least I had someone to keep me busy during the day.

I was reminded of my dead phone on the bed when Clooney kicked it by accident. I plugged it in without hesitating another second. While I waited for it to charge, I played with Clooney’s long hair. He got riled up after a few seconds, deciding to playfully attempt to bite me while I waved my hand in his face. When I heard my phone chime, I booped his nose, then turned to pick it up.

Two missed calls.

I scrolled the rest of my notifications to realize that it was Emily and Anderson who had attempted to contact me. I didn’t want to hear from them, though. Anderson was probably calling on behalf of Hotch, meanwhile Emily was only going t o try to convince me to return to work sooner. I wished that I was a telepath so I could just tell everyone what I was thinking, that way they would leave me alone. I was planning on going back to work soon. I had been over it a hundred times in my head. But if people kept bothering me about it, I was just going to be more reluctant about it.

An hour later, my phone started buzzing again. I pet Clooney as he shuffled onto my lap. My phone just kept buzzing, however, as another call came through. I cursed under my breath, then stretched to pick it up, recognizing the photo and the name flashing on the screen almost immediately. I waited a second. Morgan must have talked to him. After seeing me glued to the bed, left to nothing but a puddle of tears, Morgan probably went straight to Hotch, told him that I was suffering today, and Hotch decided to finally call me after all this time.

I answered.

Silence echoed throughout my room as I waited for something to happen. Even Clooney stilled. It had been so long, I wasn’t sure who should speak first, or if I should even speak at all. I was terrified of saying the wrong thing. After how things ended between us the last time we saw each other, I knew that what I said was wrong. I didn’t want to make the same mistakes. I didn’t want to push him away further than he already was.

And then it happened.

“Hey,” I heard his voice for the first time in about a week.

I nearly melted. “Hey,” I whispered back.

“Are you okay?”

I nodded, though he couldn’t see me. “I’m fine. Are you?”

He hesitated before changing the subject. “I know that I’m not supposed to be calling—”

“It’s okay.”

Hotch hesitated another second. “It’s, um,” he cleared his throat, “it’s Jack’s birthday today.”

“I didn’t forget.”

Of course, I didn’t. How could I when our dinosaur had been sitting on my bed all day, staring at me, and I broke down every time I glanced at it. Jack had been so excited to spend his birthday with us. He was going to have a party at Chuck-E-Cheese with his friends, as disgusting as it was. We were going to get Spider-Man and Superman balloons, superhero themed paper plates, cups, and silverware. I was going to buy a set of Spider-Man walkie talkies for him and his dad to use, or maybe one of those Bat Signal toys so that he could flash it up at the sky whenever he was thinking of us when we were at work. I had all of these ideas to make that day special for him, but George Foyet took that all away. There were going to be no pictures of Jack blowing out his birthday candles, or opening his gifts, or hugging his dad after we wished him a happy birthday. There were going to be no memories of him running around Chuck-E-Cheese with his friends, bragging about how many tickets he got, and Hotch telling him that he was proud. There were going to be no conversations of me trying to convince him to get one prize or another. And there wasn’t going to be a single argument between me and Hotch about me spoiling Jack too damn much. That happiness left when Foyet practically stole him away from us.

“When are you coming home, Y/N? I know I shouldn’t ask, but…”

“I thought about coming home tomorrow, actually.”

“Can I see you before then?”

“Aaron, I…”

“Sam called to tell me that he had to move Haley and Jack again. Apparently, she’s been calling her dad and Jessica.”

I sighed and hid my face in my left palm. This day was already hard enough, but to just keep digging at the hole in my heart wasn’t helping. I thought that, of all people, Haley would do anything to protect Jack. George Foyet was a psychopath with a mission. Why would she risk Jack’s safety just to call her Roy and sister when Sam had told her a thousand times that she couldn’t be in contact with anyone until we found Foyet.

“Are they okay?” I asked.

“They're fine. Sam sent me a video of Jack playing on the swings this morning. He looks… happy.”

“He—” I hesitated to think about it. We hadn’t heard Jack’s voice in so long… We hadn’t seen his bright face in what felt like forever. We hadn’t gotten to hear his laugh since the day Foyet took him from us. A tear slid down my cheek as I considered it. “Could you hear him? See him?”

“Yeah,” Hotch said quietly. “It’s fuzzy, and it’s at a distance, but he says your name. He says he misses you.” Another tear escaped me. “I’d like to show it to you… You don’t have to stay long, just come into the office for a bit. I… I really just…” He cleared his throat again, trying to hold back an obvious sob building in his throat. “I need to hold you. Just for a bit today. I need it really bad, Y/N.”

A tear slid down my cheek. I needed him, too. No matter how mad I was with him, no matter how upset he made me after our blow up, there was only one thing that could make this day somewhat bearable. It was the same thing that Hotch needed. Being in his arms was the only thing that could ever really comfort me nowadays, and I thought earlier about how I needed him to hold me to make the day easier. I thought that he wouldn’t want to see me. After how things ended the last time we saw each other, I thought he would never want to see me again. I had said some pretty hurtful things. Though I meant them, it didn’t erase that they probably stung him to hear.

“I need you, too,” I whispered.

I heard him let out a quiet cry. “Come home to me, baby. Please.”

“I’m coming.” I stood from the bed and raced to grab my purse. “I’m coming, baby.”

His voice perked up, “I love you so much.”

I changed before driving to the office. I had been stuck in Hotch’s pajamas for days, which wasn’t exactly… attractive, and I definitely didn’t smell good. Maybe that was why Clooney was so fond of me. Changing was also important because I was heading to my place of work. I wasn’t going to be a visitor there. I couldn’t exactly show up in a sweatshirt and pajama pants. So, I used what I had in my go-bag to look work-ready, then I headed off to the office.

The parking lot security didn’t recognize my vehicle since I was arriving in my old one. The fact that they didn’t recognize it only prolonged my wait to see Hotch again. They had to check my credentials, then give me a new parking pass for the car—and the whole thing was just a fucking mess. But the second they let me past the barricade, I sped towards the closest parking spot I could find to the building, parked, then ran inside. Security welcomed me with smiles and innocent questions, just like they always did. They were an awesome group of people that were absolutely underappreciated by the agents in our building. There were times when they told me that Garcia and I were two of the only people who ever even acknowledged them, let alone took time out of our days to get to know them. As always, I told them that it was my pleasure, but the second the niceties were over, I ran to the elevator down the hall.

As the elevator opened to reveal the sixth floor, I squeezed through the doors. Garcia was walking out of the BAU, a fresh cup of coffee in her hand. She froze when she saw me, a smile lighting up her face, and I tried smiling back as much as I could even though all of my energy was focused on getting to Hotch. She must have realized what was going on because she held the glass door open for me. I thanked her as I snaked by.

Everyone in the bullpen stopped and turned when Reid spotted me first. I smiled and waved as I kept my head down and maintained my clear path up the ramp, leading towards Hotch’s office. Emily tried calling out my name, but Morgan hushed her and I kept moving. It was nothing against her, but I was there for a singular purpose: Aaron Hotchner.

“Hi,” I said, stumbling into his office. I was so out of breath from running there. I was panting behind my forced smile.

Hotch looked up from the files on his desk. “Hi.”

“I want to see him. I want to see my little man.” My eyes were already watering up, a desperate plea for Hotch’s help to ease my breaking heart. “Please.”

“Close the blinds and lock the door.”

I nodded and turned to do so. Because Hotch and I technically weren’t supposed to have any kind of contact with Haley and Jack, no one else could see the video we were sent. If WITSEC changed their appearance and someone saw, it could put them in danger. If there was anything revealing in that video about where they had been before they were moved because Haley had been in contact with her dad, then it could put them in danger. Hotch and I couldn’t take that risk.

When I was done, I sat down in one of the empty seats across from Hotch. He turned his computer so that it was facing down the width of the desk, giving Hotch and I equal opportunity to see the screen and the video that was queued up. Even while the video was paused, I could see Jack on the swings, his legs kicked out since he had just gotten enough momentum to move forwards, and he was about to go flying back. I grabbed Hotch’s hand from the spacebar, tangling my fingers with his. Both of our breaths hitched.

“Are you sure—”

I nodded. “Do it.”

Hotch pressed the spacebar, then flipped his hand over so that he could hold my hand better. The video began. Jack started swinging back, his legs tucked under the seat. He was laughing. He was laughing, and kicking, and he looked like he was having so much fun. Haley pushed him forward again. He giggled and gave a “whoo” as he flew through the air again.

“It’s time!” Sam called from behind the camera.

Haley looked over with worry since Jack couldn’t see her. He was still having the time of his life, despite the fact that Sam and Haley were both telling him that it was time to get off the swings so that they could leave. Jack dragged his sneakers on the dirt beneath him to slow his momentum. After a few light, useless swings, Jack came to a stop, so he could safely jump off. Haley took his hand. He smiled up at her before he started skipping alongside her on their way to meet Sam at the car in the parking lot.

“Can we see Dad and Y/N now?” Jack asked.

I let out a sob, my face falling carefully against the desk. Hotch reached out to pet my hair back comfortingly, helping me through each of the tears that slid down my cheeks and every single whine that left my throat.

“No, baby, we’re not going home yet,” Haley said.

“But I want to see Y/N!” he complained. “I miss them.”

I tilted my head so that my cheek was pressed against the cold wood of the desk, but also so that I could glue my gaze back to the screen.

“I know, Jack,” she said while picking him up. “But we have to go somewhere else for our trip. Aren’t you excited?”

“Where are we going?”

The was when the video cut out.

“No, wait—” I gasped, sitting up straight. “There has to be more. That can’t be it.”

“That’s all of it, baby,” Hotch said apologetically.

“Play it again.”

Hotch did so. The video started replaying, Jack’s laugh echoing throughout the room. And then it was over faster than it was the first time, somehow. I sighed and let my head fall against the desk again.

“Come on, baby, don’t do that,” Hotch begged.

“I’m so sorry, Aaron. You have no idea how sorry I am.”

“No. I’m sorry. It’s all my fault.”

“It’s not—”

“It all goes back to that night in the hotel, Y/N. If I would’ve just taken the deal, none of this would be happening to us.”

“Stop,” I insisted while sitting up and sniffling. “I don’t blame you.”

He handed me a tissue from the box next to his elbow. “I’m sorry for being an asshole. I was blinded by hatred for Foyet and the need for revenge that I didn’t see how much of a douchebag I was being while you were suffering, too. It was insensitive of me, baby, and I’m so sorry. I hope you can forgive me.”

I dodged his apology after a moment of silence. “Are you okay?” I asked. “You know… with missing Jack’s birthday for the first time?”

Hotch had never missed mine, Jack, or Haley’s birthdays before. There were times when we had to miss other holidays, but never a birthday. Ever. That was a day special to that person, and Hotch always wanted to celebrate it with them. When it came to Jack, that urge was even stronger. Jack was apart of this world because of Hotch. He stayed by Haley’s side for hours as she endured labor, and from that pain, they gained a little sunshine, a little miracle of their own. He wouldn’t have missed Jack’s birthday for the world. It was a memory of the good times, and a reminder that Hotch had a reason to live. He had a son. He wanted to celebrate that day every single year. But this time… There was no one to celebrate with, and it was noticeable.

He shook his head. “No. But that’s why I called you. I had to see you again and make things right.” We both took a deep breath, clearing away our tears and our overwhelming emotions. Hotch stood from his seat and slowly walked around his desk, taking a knee beside my chair. “I am sorry, Y/N. I don’t think I’ll ever stop apologizing for what I did. I shouldn’t have yelled at you, and I shouldn’t have chased after you like that. I know I scared you, and I’m sorry. You know that I would never lay a hand on you, right?”

I nodded. “Of course.”

“I’m going to spend the rest of my life making this up to you, Y/N, I just know it.” He took my hand in his. “I could make excuses all day—like how I was just frustrated about how our family is falling apart, and I’m upset the Foyet took the time to specifically go through our house in order to search for the one thing he knew would hurt most to steal… the ring I was going to give you.”

When Hotch and I first met Foyet, we thought that he was just another victim of The Reaper—that he was one of the lucky ones that got away. We were convinced because he distracted us with the one thing that meant everything to us: love. He begged me to not let The Reaper put Amanda’s engagement ring on his next victim. He cried about how he didn’t want that good memory to be ruined by The Reaper. In the end, though, The Reaper put the ring on one of his next victims, and I felt horrible about having broken my promise to Foyet… Only to find out that it was all a lie. It was a facade in order to fuck with us. I didn’t appreciate it. None of us did. He made it personal, and we were all pissed. But what upset me the most was the fact that he knew that using the detail of the engagement ring against me and Hotch would work. That was also how and why he knew to go straight for ours the night he stabbed Hotch.

Now, all I could do was hope and pray that he wouldn’t get the chance to put that ring on anyone’s body. I wanted that ring to be mine. I wanted Hotch to be down on one knee, as he was just then while apologizing to me, and I wanted him to slide that ring onto my finger as I told him: “Yes, I’ll marry you, Aaron Hotchner!” It was my dream. I wanted to call Aaron Hotchner my husband. And I wanted it to be that very ring that he went out of his way to buy after I babied him all the way home from Cincinnati. I wanted to be his. It actually didn’t matter which ring I ended up wearing—or even if I would have one at all. I just wanted to be his, and only his. Getting the ring back was just an added bonus because it came with a free side of “Fuck you, George Foyet”, accompanied with a middle finger.

“I could make those excuses,” he continued, “and I want to… But I won’t. I take full responsibility for my actions. I recognize that what I did was wrong. I shouldn’t have shut you out. I shouldn’t have abandoned you. And I definitely shouldn’t have snapped at you when all you were doing was trying to help me and knock some sense into me.”

“I don’t want you to spend the rest of our lives apologizing, Aaron. I already forgive you. I just want you to spend every second of every day loving me unconditionally. Holding me like this…” I released his hands so that I could grab his face. He grabbed mine, too. “Kissing me like this…” I pressed my lips against his gingerly. “Telling me you love me…”

“I love you…” he whispered.

“It’s music to my ears,” I said, leaning my forehead against his.

Hotch hands snaked under my hips so that he could grab my ass, then lift me out of my seat. I flung my arms around his neck to make sure I wouldn’t fall out of his hold. When he had me out of my chair, I crossed my legs around his waist, feeling his erection pressing against me through both of our pants. We moaned simultaneously. Next thing I knew, to make sure he wouldn’t drop me, Hotch set me down on the edge of his desk.

“Are you—” he tried asking before I cut him off with another kiss. He pulled away. “Are you sure?”

“Yes.”

“What about the rules?”

“Fuck the rules. Aaron, I need this,” I said desperately, rather than seductively.

Of course, I needed him, but I mainly needed the idea of fucking him—of finally sharing that connection with him again after so long of not being anywhere near him. I needed the physical reminder that we loved each other. I didn’t doubt our love or passion, but that didn’t erase the feeling I had growing in the pit of my stomach, and it certainly didn’t make me forget just how wet I was for him already.

“We don’t have to if you’re not ready yet, or if our emotions are too fried—”

“Are you not sure?”

He stared at me for a moment. “I’ve never been more sure in my life.”

I leaned up to kiss him again. “Then, fuck me, Sir.”

Hotch’s lips crashed passionately against mine, his tongue immediately sliding into my mouth, claiming the dominance I loved so much. I grinded my hips against his. He moaned in response, bucking his hips forward, too. My palms dragged down his neck, gliding over his purple button up dress shirt, making their way slowly down to his belt. As my fingers fiddled with the metal clasp, Hotch leaned against me so that he could clear the space on his desk behind me before pushing my back down. I got his buckle undone just in time. Hotch finished the rest of it. He eagerly unbuttoned his pants, then pushed down his zipper. As he stepped out of his pants, I fidgeted with the waistband of mine, waiting for the perfect opportunity to push them down to my ankles. Hotch caught the hint before I could get very far. He yanked my pants and panties down with one fowl swoop, leaving me completely exposed to him.

“Fuck—” I wiggled my hips around to gesture for more. Hotch ran his left pointer finger up my slit, starting at my dripping entrance, working his way up slowly to my throbbing clit. I jerked around when he circled it. “Sir…”

“I don’t want manners right now, Y/N. I just want you.” He cupped my cheeks with his palms so that he could hold me still before kissing me as roughly as he could. “You have to be quiet.”

“I know.”

He nodded. “Okay.” He reached between us in order to push his boxers down to his ankles. “Hold onto me. Please.”

I obeyed, bracing my hands on his shoulders. As he lined his tip up with my entrance, I bit my lip to bar myself from moaning his name as loud as I could. Instead, I opted to whimper, “I want you inside me—” I gasped and let my body fall limp against the desk as he pushed into me slowly. “Aaron…”

“You’re so tight, baby girl. Always so tight and wet for me.” He threw his head back while snapping his hips back, then forward as roughly as he had the strength for.

I saw his muscles tightened under his shirt, and that was when a thought struck me. “You have another shirt in your go-bag, right?”

Hotch thrusted into me again before he realized what it was that I had asked him. He paused. “Why?” I didn’t answer. “Yeah, I have another—” I grabbed onto the seam of buttons lining his chest, and then I yanked them apart. Hotch groaned, thrusting into me as I did so. I screwed my eyes shut and threw my head back in euphoria before I could even get a look at Hotch, like I wanted. “Fuck, baby girl…” He gripped my hips harder. I looked up at him with a smirk, excited to finally see him, but then I froze. Hotch noticed how my face well. “What is it?” he asked as he slowed then stopped.

“Aaron,” I hesitated, my fingers hovering only millimeters from his chest. He stopped to follow my gaze, quickly realizing that this was the first time that I was laying my eyes on his scars. Foyet did that to him… I wanted to cry. “I could have lost you…”

“Look at me,” he whispered as he grabbed my chin between his fingers. My eyes fluttered as I looked up at him through my lashes and foggy eyes. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. Ever. I promise.”

I wrapped my legs around his waist, pulling him closer, feeling him move inside me as he leaned over me. For the first time, I finally felt my hands touch his scars, running over the bumps and cuts. The stitches had been gone for a while, but I could still feel the irritation. I never knew that it was this bad. How was I supposed to know when he had been working tirelessly towards making sure I never found out?

“I love you,” I croaked, letting him pull me in for a kiss.

He thrust his hips forward at a gentle, loving pace. “I love you, too.”

I grabbed onto his shoulders, my fingers digging into his back slightly. With that silent encouragement, Hotch’s hands took ahold of my hips and he started fucking me roughly. I moaned against his collarbone, my legs falling off of him so that he could increase his pace without being held back by me. I propped my feet on the edge of his desk, and my back fell against the wood entirely. Hotch’s hands moved upwards, stopping just on my breasts. He cupped, massaged, and squeezed them as he continued to fuck me as hard as he could. My hands fell from his shoulders, and I ran my fingers over his scars again. I used to be so obsessed with his chest and how he flexed when he’d fuck me like this, but now, I was so scared of looking or touching because I didn’t want to hurt him. I knew that he wasn’t fragile, especially with the strength of every pump he was giving me, but I was still hesitant. I felt like with one wrong move, he could fall apart, and maybe it would be all my fault.

“I can’t lose you,” I whispered, moving to press my palm against his face.

He leaned down and kissed me. I moaned into his mouth as he gave me another passionate thrust that said: “I’m here, my love, and I’m not going anywhere.” I scratched at his back. I couldn’t do anything but quietly moan and whimper. If we were any louder, the whole office would know, and we couldn’t have that. This first time since he was stabbed was imperative to calming our worries and helping us forget our pain… but the team didn’t need to know any of it. There would be another time soon when Hotch and I would be alone, and I’d finally get to moan his name as loud as I wanted while also gasping between saying “I love you” a thousand times. But this… This needed to be quiet. It was passionate, of course, but it had to be quiet, much to my despair.

“I’m close,” he warned. “I’m so fucking close.”

I pulled him towards me so that our chests were pressed together. He hid his face in the crook of my neck, finally letting out a muffled groan. His hips were doing all of the work now, so I started grinding up to help him. That only seemed to encourage his orgasm, because the next thing I knew, his hand snaked between our bodies so that he could press his thumb against my clit.

I hid my face in his shoulder so that my moan would be muffled, too. “Aaron…” I let out a shaky breath. “Aaron, please. Cum in me…” I needed him to fill me. I needed that instinctual reminder that I was his and he was mine. I needed a part of him to carry around for a bit to remember that he was alive and that he was there with me. “Fuck—” My body gave out. I was shaking and panting as my orgasm crashed through me like a wave. As my walls pulsed around him, Hotch groaned into my neck again. My tightness pushed him over the edge, milking out everything he had to offer me.

“Y/N…” he growled in my ear, thrusting into me once more with such a fierceness that I knew I was going to be sore in just a few minutes. “I love you.” I heard how the words got caught in his throat. I heard how he was holding something back. I knew what it sounded like when he was trying not to cry. So, I lifted his head off me. “I love you,” he repeated, moving to kiss me before I could register just how red his eyes were.

I melted into his kiss again, my body relaxing after my overwhelming climax. It was only when I felt one of his tears hit my cheek that I knew he wasn’t okay. I whimpered sadly. All I could do was hold him close, tangling my fingers through his hair, kissing his lips again and again, feeling him soften inside of me. It was like that time we drove back from Cincinnati, and we couldn’t do anything but be grateful for each other. I couldn’t bear to lose him. I wasn’t sure how much longer I could face seeing him like this. Broken, beaten, bruised, wincing in pain. If it happened again, I didn’t know how I was going to survive.

“Does it still hurt?” I asked, referencing his scars. Hotch groaned as he pulled out of me slowly. He reached into his go-bag under his desk, grabbing a dark blue towel to clean me up with. Silently, he wiped my thighs and everywhere between. “Aaron.” He didn’t look at me. My heart sank in my chest at the realization. “They still hurt, don’t they?” Silence still. “Answer me, baby.”

“I don’t…” He gulped back tears. “I don’t know what to say.”

I sat up on the desk to get a better look at him while he hid the towel away, then stood up straight in order to change shirts. I wanted to apologize for ripping the purple one open. But I found that I couldn’t move or speak. He was stretching to pull the sleeves off, wincing as he did so, then he grabbed the red shirt from his go-bag, and started to carefully put it on.

“Come here,” I said, beckoning him closer with one finger. He sighed and stepped towards me. I started buttoning his shirt up for him. “You should’ve told me sooner.”

“I know.”

“We promised to never lie to each other.”

“I know.”

“So, then, why?”

His lip quivered and his eyes reddened. “Because I didn’t want to lose you, too... Turns out closing myself off in order to protect you only ruined everything.”

I finished buttoning his shirt. “I thought you learned that lesson when you first asked me out.”

Back then, when I first joined the team, Hotch entirely ignored me in order to protect me from his feelings. He didn’t think it was appropriate to let me know that he was in love with me. He thought that pushing me away was the only way to save me from him. What he failed to realize was that his decisions only worried me. I became obsessed with his change in behavior. Finally, I broke after Elle’s hostage situation in Texas, so I confronted him. That evening, we admitted that we had feelings for each other, and he took me out to dinner. The rest was history. But that was exactly why we didn’t keep secrets from each other, and we didn’t push each other away. I needed him to comfort me ever since Foyet attacked me— Actually, I wanted to comfort him. Bur he never gave me the chance. He pushed me away again, and it tore me down to nothing.

“I told you I’m sorry.”

I got off the desk and collected my panties and pants at the same time he grabbed his boxers and pants. We finished getting dressed simultaneously. As I hopped and shimmied into my pants, I looked at Hotch. “Can we start over? Pretend like the past month never happened?”

“And do what?” he asked while fixing his tie.

“Be us.”

His gaze snapped to meet mine. “I’d love that.”

“You can’t hide up in your office all day, and you can’t shut me out… You can’t keep sleeping in Jack’s room… You have to talk to me.”

He shuffled on the balls of his feet.

“Fine, you don’t have to talk to me, but you have to start going to therapy again.”

“It’s a waste of time and money, Y/N.”

“No, it isn’t.”

“I’m not going to sit on a couch and tell some stranger that I miss my son so much I can’t breathe! I’m not going to tell them that I think about how I snapped at you and it almost makes me wish Foyet killed me—”

“Don’t fucking say that,” I hissed. “Ever.”

“You wanted me to talk to you, right? Well, that’s how I feel.”

I inhaled and exhaled deeply, trying to diffuse the tension building in my chest and shoulders. We had just made up; I didn’t want to start arguing with him again. “Okay… Like I said, you don’t have to talk to me… But at least try one more session. You stopped going after we lost Jack and Haley, and I think that’s a big part of why things blew up the way they did. Just one. For me. If you don’t like it, then I won’t make you go again. I think you’ll find it’s helpful, though.”

Hotch sighed, too. “Just one.”

“Just one,” I agreed while nodding.

“Okay.”

I jumped onto my toes and kissed him. “I love you.”

Before he could say it back, there was a knock at the door. Hotch and I parted, fixing ourselves again as quickly as possible, and I returned to my seat at his desk while he went to go unlock the door. When I was settled, I gave Hotch a nod. It looked like nothing had happened between the two of us now, except for the fact that Hotch was wearing a different shirt, but hopefully no one would notice… right…

“Sorry to interrupt,” Rossi apologized from the other side of the door, “but we’ve got a new case.”

I stood from my seat and started walking towards the door to make my way to the boardroom. Hotch stopped me. He looked at Rossi, then asked if we could have another moment alone before closing the door on him. I rolled my eyes at Hotch.

“Don’t do that,” he begged, grabbing my hips in his hands. “Just sit out for one more case. That’s all. One more to collect your thoughts and get settled back in at the house.”

My hands slid around the back of his neck so that my fingers could pull at the ends of his hair gently. He moaned. I smiled and jumped up onto my toes so that I could kiss him. “I love you, Aaron Hotchner. I always have and I always will.”

He let out a breath, letting relief wash over him. “Say it again.”

“I love you. I love you so much. I’ll never stop loving you.”

He pulled me in for another desperate, passionate kiss that kept me pressed against him until I couldn’t breathe. When his lungs gave out, too, he parted from me. “I love you, too.” And then he raced off to be a superhero again.

---------------

criminal minds family: @peggy1999​ @gorgeousdarkangel​  @alex--awesome--22​ @oceaneblu​ @brithedemonspawn​ @absolutemarveltrash​ @bshelley322​

[nuoyipeach]

Restart

May 21st 2021

4 years later...

“Arin, bring your brother down. We’re about to leave.” Taeyong shouted from the hallway downstairs for the children upstairs to hear. He Just finished putting on his coat then looked at his wife going through her bag one last time, confirming that she had packed everything. He smiled at the sight of her before moving next to her giving her a kiss on the cheek.

“What?” Seulgi chuckled and he shook his head. The couple turned to the stairs hearing footsteps running down, each child carrying their own backpack. Seulgi looked at them and smiled before carrying up the younger. “So I guess we’re all ready to go.”

“Yes mum!” Arin exclaimed as she hugged her father’s arm. “I’ve never been to Japan, I’m so excited! And we're meeting uncle Yuta too!”

Taeyong laughed as he locked up the house and went to the car where Seulgi had just buckled up three year old Hajun, then turned to help Arin in her seat. He went ahead and checked the last bag before closing the trunk and sat in the driver's seat.

The way to the airport was filled with music (mostly Hajun’s songs) and twelve year old Arin helping her younger brother sing the words clearly, followed by Seulgi leading them, and Taeyong's smile never left.

Three months after Hajun's birth, Arin was finally awake after almost two years. She didn't lose her memory, but it seemed the young girl didn't at all care about the sudden change in her life. From having a new father, to a baby brother, nothing made her question what happened while she was asleep. She was surprised at first, no doubt, but she had no hesitation accepting it.

While Seulgi was busy with the baby, Taeyong did everything to help Arin catch up on school and attend rehabilitation classes with her. As always Seulgi was worried if Taeyong felt it as a burden, however he kept reassuring her every day that Arin was his child now too and he loves her.

Of course at some point Arin had to know the truth, and oddly yet not surspisingly enough, it was Taeyong who ended up telling her.

"He didn't want to stay, he..."

"He didn't like us anymore, didn't he? He left us for other people?" the nine year old asked straight away, not wanting her father to beat around the bush. Taeyong sighed and pulled her to his chest, combing her hair.

"I'm sorry Arin."

"Why dad?" she looked up with a sudden but sincere smile. "You don't have to say sorry. You're my dad now, and I'm happy. You're the best dad anyone could ever ask for." she exclaimed hugging him tighter.

On the plane, Arin sat with her father while Hajun with his mother since he still needed extra care from her. It wasn't too long, but the children fell into naps the moment they took off. Both parents lifted off the middle arm rest and let them lay on their laps, Hajun having his milk bottle still in his mouth.

Once landed Arin was quick to wake up and help her mother while Seulgi strapped up a still sleeping Hajun to Taeyong's front. They went across the airport until they came to the baggage claim.

"Mum, can I go to the toilet real quick?" Arin suddenly asked, to which Seulgi nodded directing her to the nearest restroom. Knowing her child, she wasn't too afraid of her getting lost so she allowed her to go on her own.

After finishing up and washing her hands, Arin was just about to leave the restroom when she bumped into a man coming out the of the male one next to her. "Oh, sorry. Are you OK?" the man spoke and crouched down patting her head. Arin rubbed her nose and smiled at him reassuringly.

Only for her smile to drop in an instant.

She stared at the man, but she knew she had to be quick. "I'm fine. Sorry. Bye." she spoke quickly before running away towards wherever.

Why's he here... I can't tell mum and dad...

"Hey hey hey." she stopped at a halt when she felt a hand grab her shirt from behind. "Where are you running off to young lady?" she turned on her tiptoes and faced her father before squirming out if his grip and suddenly hugging his torso tight. Taeyong stood flustered by her actions before crouching to hug her back, her face in his shoulder as he heard her uneven breaths and knew for sure something wasn't right.

After a minute she seemed to have calmed, his hand combing through her hair and another now pulling her up to carry her away with him. As he neared where his wife sat with their luggage, he stopped and instead sat a little further away, out of her sight.

"Arin." he called calmly and pulled her out of his shoulder, cupping her face in one hand gently. He waited, for her to pick up enough strength to look up at him, which took a minute for her to do. He smiled at her and brushed her hair back. "Tell me. What happened?"

Arin bit her lip, not wanting to ruin their trip on the first day itself. But if there was one person she'd never lie to, it was Taeyong. She took a deep breath, before leaning against her father's chest. "Daddy..." she spoke softly, voice breaking in fear. "I love you."

"I love you too Arin." Taeyong replied softly, petting her back.

"You're my only daddy."

"Yes Arin. I'm your only dad."

"Even if I run into him, I'd choose you any day."

The father and daughter kept it a secret, knowing the last thing Seulgi would want to hear on their family trip is her ex husband's presence in the same town as them. It was already their second day and they were visiting the Universal Studios theme park in Osaka with the Nakamoto family. Taeyong took note of Arin’s emotions, so far seeming overjoyed. He didn’t tell Seulgi this either, but the past two nights they were here, Arin had cried in her sleep, and when he asked why all she could say was seeing her biological father’s face in her dreams.

He didn’t understand why it was taking such an effect on her. Did she actually miss him but didn’t want to say so? Did he do something wrong back then? Did they talk at the airport?

Tonight as they returned, he decided he needed to talk to Arin. He needed her to come clear about this, because that was the only way he could help. As Seulgi washed up and tucked in Hajun, he excused himself to go check on Arin who slept in the room next to them in the hotel suite.

Looking into the room, he saw Arin just getting into bed and stared smiling at her. "How was it today?" he asked taking seat right next to her as she tucked herself in. The young girl smiled wide.

"It was great! I loved the minions!" she exclaimed. Taeyong chuckled combing her hair, his mind however filled with thoughts on how to speak about the topic.

And he decided the best way was to be straight forward. "Arin, be honest with me."

"Yes daddy?"

"Did something happen between you and, uhm... your ex dad?" he realised how badly he worded it, but nothing was coming to his mind. "You've been acting strange since you bumped into him..."

Arin bit her lips, her heart hurting. In all honesty she had no ounce of affection, she never missed him. But seeing him after so many years, especially after coma, it hurt her.

"I really don't know daddy..." she teared up. Taeyong got in under the cover next to her and pulled her to his chest, the young girl letting go of her tears immediately into her father's shirt. "I just, it hurts. I don't know why... When I saw him, he looks so normal, he didn't even recognise me. I don't even miss him, but it hurts..."

He shushed her, making white noise as he combed her hair when she suddenly pulled out and looked at him. "Please don't take it the wrong way." she quickly said before hugging him tight. "I love you daddy, I hate that man. I'm sorry he's making me cry. I know I promised I wouldn't cry over guys, but I can't help it..."

Taeyong chuckled sadly, shifting in his place so that she laid on his chest, head on his shoulder. "I'm not mad Arin. I'm worried about you. You're my daughter, I don't like seeing you sad." he let out a sigh and kissed her hair. "Let's try to forget that from now on, OK. I'll help you."

Taeyong knew that he couldn't just force her to erase the memory of her biological father just like that, no matter how much they love each other. Arin didn't lose her memory, she was a smart child even back then when she knew her father's love was absent. She knew, the moment she woke up and accepted her new reality, that he left them even before Taeyong told her anything. And no matter how much she despised him, it was no surprise that it broke her heart when he really didn't recognise her after all these years, and if Seulgi found out, it would've broke her heart too.

On their last day, they stayed at Yuta's house as Sooyoung was persistent to have them overnight for one day at least. The children played out in the backyard while the dads started the barbeque, and inside the mothers cooked up some ramen and sides. Not too long after they heard an ice cream truck, and soon enough the kids were at the dads feet begging to go.

Yuta wasn't one to resist and took out some money, handing it to Arin who's the eldest among both family's children. "Knock yourselves out. Don't eat too much though, your mums will kill us." he winked.

Arin led the three younger out to the front road where more neighbourhood children lined up. She stood holding her brother's hand while her two friends conversed in Japanese with their friends. She didn't speak much, but could understand.

"Who are they Nako?" a kid asked Yuta's older girl, a year younger than Arin.

"Our friends from Korea. Remember, my mum's Korean."

When it was their turn, Nako helped choose while Arin payed, stuffing the change in her pocket. Yuta's kids were now playing hopscotch on the pavement with the other kids, Nako tugging her and Hajun to join them, though the three year old was mostly running across the lines.

“You are Nako’s friend?” a young boy, seemingly five or six, suddenly spoke to Arin as she stood aside to finish her ice cream. Arin was shocked to hear him speak korean but nodded in response. “That’s cool! I’m half korean too just like her.” he smiled raising his hand for a high five to which Arin responded smiling back.

“How?” she asked curiously.

“My dad’s Korean. My name is Akito, I’m five.”

“I’m Arin, twelve.” she looked away after responding, turning her attention to Hajun to make sure he wouldn’t get hurt. Nako suddenly called her to go back home and she grabbed her brother. “Bye Akito.”

As the children entered the backyard they heard Nako’s mother yelling. “I swear to God Nakamoto if you send them out alone again I will have your head on the barbeque instead!”

“Arin was with them...”

“She’s new here you idiot!” Seulgi yelled along. “What if they were lost! What if they were kidnapped!”

The kids quickly ran away to the living room, trying not to laugh at both mothers yelling at Yuta and finishing off the last of their ice cream before they were caught. Taeyong soon came in and sighed shaking his head, helping Hajun wipe his face to get rid of the evidence. “Please not one word about the ice cream.” he whispered, knowing Hajun was still too young to understand the concept of keeping secrets.

Luckily the young boy’s attention was taken away by the other kids playing with toys, and Taeyong returned outside to see the others were back to normal, except for Yuta’s slightly sulking face. They finished up with the barbeque and set it on the picnic table they had, the mothers bringing in the ramen and sides. The kids were called to eat, and surprisingly enough they ate more than expected despite the ice cream. Soon Arin and Nako helped clean up, while Yuta pulled out the mini pool for the kids.

While he filled it up, Arin was the first to come out in her swimsuit and helped throw some toys in, when she heard a familiar voice.

“Hi Arin!” she looked to see the young boy from earlier, Akito, waving. She waved back, when her face lost all colour. “Look dad, she’s the girl I told you about.”

Yuta knew all too well, and looked at Arin to see her completely still. He then looked back at the child who’s father now stood beside him, but he could tell he didn’t recognise her. “So she’s your new friend? Isn’t she much older than you?” he joked with his son.

“Arin noona is really nice.”

“Arin?” the man raised a brow once hearing the name, looking back at Arin then smiled.

Yuta could tell Arin’s discomfort, so he dropped the hose and went to her, crouching to her ear. “Go inside. Don’t tell your mother, go straight to your dad .” he whispered to which she nodded and quickly ran inside, not stopping until she reached her father. Taeyong had just finished helping Hajun into his swimsuit and let him run out, when Arin’s body came crashing into him and held him tight.

“He’s here...” she spoke softly, fear in her voice. “He’s outside.”

Taeyong pulled her out and looked at her shocked. “Are you sure?” she nodded.

“Uncle Yuta saw him too, he sent me inside... Dad, what if he takes me from you? I don’t want to go...” tears welled up in her eyes and Taeyong wiped them off and hugged her tight, holding in his own.

“No one will take you from us Arin, not as long as your mother and I are alive.”

Taking her hand, Taeyong walked out to see what was going on so far. He peeked out the main door and saw the kids already in the pool, Yuta and Sooyoung attending them. But his wife was no where to be seen, and upon noticing his presence, Sooyoung ran to him. “Taeyong, he was here. When Arin ran in she saw and came outside to check. They’re talking outside the gate...”

Taeyong let go of Arin and quickly went to the gate and, as bad as he felt, eavesdropped over their conversation.

“Well, I married and moved here now. It is my wife’s hometown.”

“I see...”

“Arin grew a lot.” his muscles tensed hearing her name from the man. “Glad to see her up and healthy. How long did it take?”

“Two years.”

“Does she remember me?”

The question made both the couple tense up even more. If Seulgi said yes there’s a chance he’d ask to see her, and if she said no he’d be sceptical about it and still ask to see her.

Hearing his wife silent for a minute, Taeyong decided it was time for him to step in. “Seulgi come, Hajun’s looking for you.” he walked out as if he heard nothing, pretending to be surprised by her ex’s presence. “Oh, hello. Long time no see.” he said extending his hand to shake. The man nodded with a smile taking his hand.

“You too. I see you two married, Hajun must be your child. Glad you moved on quick.” he chuckled. Seulgi nodded, still a little uncomfortable, before Taeyong took her hand and held it reassuringly. She looked back up at the man and sighed.

“He’s also Arin’s father now, I asked him to adopt.”

“That’s good.” the man replied, his face seemingly without much care. “Well I best be off, don’t want to ruin your party. Bye.” he bowed before walking to where his son was, and the couple watched him take his hand and head back home.

The rest of the barbeque went on as if nothing happened before. Arin seemed to have enjoyed herself to her parents relief, and they themselves stayed optimistic not wanting to ruin the mood. As night fell, the kids were all sent to bed. Taeyong tucked in both his children into bed and noticed Seulgi standing next to Arin, the mother daughter simply exchanging gazes. He could see both love and hurt in their eyes and moved to their side of the bed. Taking Seulgi’s hand he gave it a chaste kiss before bending to Arin and kissing her forehead.

“Sleep well. We’re going back to Korea tomorrow, and to your grandparent’s house after so it’ll be tiring.” Arin smiled at her father as he did so after whispering, before he got up and walked out the room with his wife. Once in the other guest room where they were sleeping in, the two sat on the bed sighing.

“Why here...” Seulgi mumbled. “Everything was going great, and he just had to appear...”

Taeyong turned to his wife and moved closer, holding her hand in both his. “Nothing happened Seulgi... Honestly I don’t know why we were so scared? It’s not like he would actually want to take you or Arin back right?”

“You’re right...” she sighed again before hugging Taeyong, cuddling up into his chest. “He’s moved on even before everything happened. I have no reason to think about it like that. I have you and Arin and Hajun, and that’s all I’ll need for the rest of my life.”

“You should visit us next time. Will you be coming fo Chuseok this year?” Seulgi asked her friend as they stood outside the Nakamoto house, Taeyong putting their lugguage into the back of Yuta’s car.

“Maybe, my parents have been missing the kids a lot.” Sooyoung replied. The women hugged before Sooyoung went back inside after the children said their goodbyes too. Yuta got into the driver’s seat and started the car while Taeyong closed up the back.

“Hey.” he looked behind, freezing for a bit at the presence of Seulgi’s ex again. “I know you probably hate to see me, but I just have something.”

Biting his lip, Taeyong made sure Seulgi and the kids were already in the car before nodding to him. “What is it?”

He suddenly pulled out a bag from behind him and handed it to him. “When you reach home, give this to Arin please.” Taeyong looked at the bag, then back at him and the man noticed the fear before he chuckled.

“I’m not taking her away from you if that’s what you’re thinking. I don’t plan on ruining your lives, I’ve done enough of that I believe. But... one thing I do regret was hurting Arin. I did fall out of love with Seulgi, I won’t lie about that, but I genuinely loved Arin. It was just hard for me to be a good father when I wasn’t in the relationship I wanted to be in. I probably sound like an asshole right now, but I was so caught up avoiding Seulgi and wanting to be with my current wife, I neglected Arin too when I really had no intention to. Then with how you were always around with her, it made me realise that you deserve them more than me. That’s why I was easy admit everything and let Arin go after the divorce. I loved her but I knew I couldn’t make up for what I failed to give her. I knew you were a better father to her than I ever could be, and I was right.”

The man's words didn't leave Taeyong's mind even as they went to bed. After reaching Korea they drove straight to his parents' house to visit and decided to stay the night before going home the next day. What he said in the end was what stuck to his mind the most.

"If possible I'd like to see her again sometime. My family don't know and I don't want them to get involved, I just hope to see her again after all these years. I know I was absent as a father, I just want to see how she feels about me."

He didn't tell Seulgi but he knew without her permission he had no right to decide on this. Arin was still her child, and this case involved the man who stepped out of their life. As he laid in bed staring at the ceiling, his worried face didn't go unnoticed by his wife as she got under the covers next to him. She moved closer and cuddled up to him taking his attention.

"What's bothering you? Looks like something has been in you mind all day."

Taeyong sighed and turned on his side to face her, thinking of a way to tell her everything. "So, you know when I was loading our bags into Yuta's trunk when we were leaving?" she nodded confused. "Well, Jongin came to me, with a gift for Arin I still have on my bag. He told me how much he actually missed her, and regrets ignoring her just because he was with someone else behind your back. He said despite what he felt with you, he still loved her as his child."

Seulgi looked down to his chest biting her lip, fingers playing with the buttons of his pyjama top. He caressed her hair soothingly before he continued. "He said, if it's alright, he'd like to meet her again, properly. He won't take her away, his current family doesn't know about him finding us. He just wants to see her again."

looks like a part 3 needs to happen😅 this is what happens when I write unplanned😐

[maybeimamuppet]

the blood of angry (wo)men

hey hey darling readers!! welcome back!! for a second, anyway!! this is a request fill for aspenchokey on wattpad, who requested leo and layla being with damian and one gets her period. so here it is. this also means you get to meet some more of my oc''s in the form of damian and aaron's kids. so, some basic information: they're a group of three biological siblings that they adopted. ivie is the oldest, shes 18 in this and was 13 when they were adopted, but shes just mentioned and not really in this. ellis is in the middle, hes 15 and was 10 when they were adopted. then milly (short for amelie) is the baby. shes 8 in this and was 3 when they were adopted.

tw for periods/menstruation. otherwise, please enjoy!!

-

“Girls!” Cady calls from the kitchen. Her twins both come barreling down the stairs to find her.

“Yeah, Mama?” Layla asks, panting slightly.

“Uncle D is going to watch you tonight, your mom and I have a-“ Cady replies.

“Date night, we know, Mama. It’s Saturday,” Leo finishes. Cady chuckles.

“We are pretty predictable, aren’t we?” She hums. “We’ll drop you off around five and be back to get you by eleven.”

“Ooh, late night,” Layla teases. Cady rolls her eyes.

“You know what we get up to,” she huffs. “Your boring old mothers.”

“Mom told us about the time she stole a sheep when you were in high school,” Leo pipes up. “What happened to that?”

“We happened,” Cady laughs. “She grew up and settled down.”

Janis comes in then, paintbrush behind her ear and carrying a mug. “Hey, gang. What are we talking about?”

“You,” Layla teases. “And how you’re old and boring now.”

“Ah,” Janis says with a knowing nod. She takes a drink of whatever’s in her mug. “Oh, that’s the paint water, what-ugh!”

“Jay,” Cady huffs around a laugh. “Maybe you haven’t settled down. Why do you never look at things before you drink them?”

“I like to live on the edge,” Janis responds, wiping her tongue off on a paper towel.

“We’re in our forties now, you should probably step back from that edge,” Cady giggles as she hands her some juice to rinse the taste from her mouth. “Goofy.”

Janis thankfully takes the offered beverage and chugs it, then wraps her wife in a hug. “Thank you.”

“Of course, my love,” Cady chuckles, turning around and pulling her wife in for a kiss. The twins both exclaim in disgust and run back upstairs. “You still taste like paint, go brush your teeth.”

“Okay,” Janis pouts.

————-

“Layla! Leo!” The twins’ cousin, Milly, yells as she runs to greet them.

“Let them breathe, Mills,” Damian chides gently as his nieces are squished in a tight hug by his youngest child. Milly moves onto her aunties, so Damian takes his turn to tackle the twins.

“Hey, Uncle D,” Leo says, sounding a little choked as she’s wrapped in a tight hug. It’s what they’ve come to expect after thirteen years of knowing him. Janis eventually pries him off her daughters for her turn, and Cady joins in.

Layla and Leo head into the living room as Milly drags them along. Aaron is there playing a video game with his son, Ellis.

“Ellie!” Layla yells teasingly, running to tackle her cousin. Ellis has roughly four seconds to scramble to put his controller down and get into a safe position before she lands on him with a dull thud.

“I hate you so much,” he grumbles. “Hey.”

“Whatcha playing?” Layla asks, yelping as Leo drags her off to allow her cousin some personal space.

“Fifa,” Ellis says once he’s got his hair back to its properly ruffled state.

“Ooh, can I play?” Layla asks. Aaron hands his controller over. “Hehe. I’m gonna kick your ass.”

“Hey!” Cady and Janis both call at the same time. Layla shrinks into herself.

“Sorry, moms,” she mumbles. Cady raises an eyebrow at Janis, who also shrinks into herself. They both know she’s the reason why their twins know every curse word in the dictionary. “Sorry El.”

“It’s fine,” Ellis chuckles. “I’ll kick your butt first.”

Layla snaps to attention and goes to work trying to beat her cousin. Aaron comes to join his husband and friends for a chat while Milly drags Leo to the backyard to do dances.

After a nice, but long, conversation, Cady and Janis kiss their twins goodbye and head out. Damian and Aaron are now left alone with four children. Oh boy.

————

Leo teaches Milly bits of her routines until sunset, at which point they’re called inside. Both of them are sweaty and frizzy-haired and immediately head to the kitchen to chug down water.

Leo plops down next to her sister and leans in, covering her twin in sweat. Layla shoves her away with a groan.

“Ew, Leo! Gross!”

“Like you don’t do it to me,” Leo retaliates. “What happened to kicking his butt?”

“I’ve never played this before!” Layla says.

“You played soccer for, like, five years, how is a video game of it that different?” Leo teases. Ellis tugs Leo down to the floor by an ankle to stop their bickering. She yelps and thumps to the ground beside him. “Ow!”

“You’re a gymnast, don’t you fall all the time?” Ellis teases.

“Yeah, on my face, usually,” Leo grumbles, rubbing her sore bum. She notices red on her hand when she shifts positions. Oh, hell.

————-

“Where did Leo run off to?” Aaron asks as he comes back into the room.

“I dunno, she just ran upstairs,” Ellis shrugs. “She was fine before, I don’t know what happened.”

“I’ll go check on her,” Layla says. “Here, Uncle Aaron.”

“Thanks, squirt,” Aaron says, taking the controller back from his niece and getting back into the game.

“Lolo? Where did you go?” Layla calls as she heads up the stairs to find her twin.

Nothing.

“Hey!” Layla yelps as a hand suddenly snatches her arm and hauls her into the bathroom. “Leo, what-“

“We have a situation,” Leo hisses.

“Okay, you couldn’t just tell me that? Where have you been?” Layla grumbles. “What do you want, dummy?”

“I’ve been in here,” Leo murmurs. “It… happened.”

“What?”

“It,” Leo says again, sharper. Layla’s eyes go wide.

“Ohhhh,” she says. “That’s… fine, you know? Mom and Mama told us about this, they said not to be embarrassed. It’s natural, Lolo.”

“Yeah, but there’s nothing to use. Our backpacks are at home and there’s nothing here,” Leo huffs. “I think Ivie took all her stuff with her to college. I don’t want to get blood all over the place.”

“Oh yeah,” Layla agrees. “Should I go ask Uncle D to buy some?”

“No!”

“Why not? You need something,” Layla huffs. “Or are you just gonna hide in here until Mom and Mama come get us?”

“I don’t want him to know,” Leo grumbles. “It’s… it’s embarrassing.”

“You’re literally doing the opposite of what Mom and Mama said to do,” Layla says. “Uncle D, like, changed our diapers and stuff. He has two daughters, and one of them definitely already has her period. He’s not gonna care or judge you for needing stuff.”

“Yeah, I know, but-“ Leo begins, getting cut off by a knock on the door.

“Ladies, is everything good? You’ve been in there a while,” Damian asks through the door. “We’re gonna watch a movie soon.”

The twins frantically gesture to one another, having a conversation without words. Layla wants to tell him, Leo doesn’t. Layla wins.

She checks to make sure everything important is covered to protect her twin’s privacy and then opens the door. Damian pokes his head in with his eyes closed.

“What’s up?” He asks.

“Japan is invading,” Leo grumbles.

“What?”

“Satan’s sacrificial waterfall,” Leo tries again.

“Oh,” Damian says. “Oh my gosh! Aww, honey! You guys are growing up quick, holy shit.”

“Why did you get that one?” Layla asks.“That’s what your mom called it when we were in high school,” Damian explains. “And college. Living together was rough those weeks.”

The twins both giggle a bit, imagining their mom clinging to Damian and whining at him. It’s nothing they haven’t seen before, but imagining them younger is fun.

“Oh, we don’t have anything here, do we?” Damian suddenly realizes. “Shit. Which one of you is it? Both?”

“Just her,” Layla teases. “But yeah, she needs stuff.”

Damian thwacks her on the head gently. “It’s gonna happen to you, soon, be nice. Leo, honey, why don’t you take a shower? I’m gonna take your darling twin to go buy you some stuff you’ll need.”

“Did I get blood anywhere?” Leo asks anxiously as Damian hands her a few soft towels.

“I didn’t see any,” Damian shrugs. “If you did it’s not a big deal, after being married to your uncle for twelve years I know how to get stains out of everything. Speaking of, give Layla anything that got stained, we’ll wash that for you.”

“Okay,” Leo murmurs. “Thanks, Uncle D.”

“Of course, honey. You relax, everything’s good,” Damian comforts, hauling Layla back out of the bathroom and shutting the door. “Darling?”

Aaron pops his head out from the kitchen and looks at them as they walk downstairs. “Yeah, babe?”

“I’m taking Layla out for a while, do you have dinner plans yet?” Damian asks.

“No, why?” Aaron asks as Damian follows him back to the kitchen. He spies the slightly stained shorts in Layla’s hands. “Ah. Got it.”

Layla looks between them in confusion. “What?”

“We’re having spaghetti and meatballs tonight,” Aaron says.

“Okay, how did you-what did-“ Layla stutters.

“Both your moms always crave carbs and red meat when they’re on their periods, it’ll probably be the same for you two. You learn stuff quick when you live with two ladies,” Damian shrugs.

“Daddy, can I come?” Milly asks. “Please? I’m done with chores.”

“Of course, Froggy,” Damian says, grinning as his daughter squeals and runs off to find some shoes. “El, do you want to come?”

“Where are you going?” Ellis asks.“Just the convenience store, probably,” Damian says. Ellis shakes his head and goes back to his video game. “Alrighty. Let’s go!”

————-

“Layla, do you know what brand your moms bought you guys?” Damian asks once they’re in the right aisle.

“No,” Layla says. “Does it really matter? They all look the same.”

“I guess it doesn’t matter all that much,” Damian shrugs. “But they are different sizes, so we’ll have to read them first.”

“These ones are pretty,” Milly says, pointing to a box.

“Those are tampons, honey, we need pads,” Damian says. “Your moms should do tampons with you, that’s not… my area of expertise.”

“What’s a tampon?” Milly asks.

“Um… it’s kind of like a pad, but it goes inside,” Damian says. Milly pulls a face and runs away from the box. “You have a few years left, kiddo. You have time to learn.”

“It’s gonna happen to me too?” Milly huffs.“Yep. Every month until you’re about fifty,” Damian responds with a ruffle to her hair.

“What the hell?!” Milly yells. “That’s not fair! Daddy, can’t I just be a boy like you?”

Damian and Layla both bite their lips to hold back a laugh at Milly’s reaction. Damian doesn’t even scold her for swearing.

“Do you actually want to be a boy or do you just not want a period?” Layla asks helpfully. “You don’t have to be a boy to not get one. My mom takes medicine to stop hers because it bugs her so much.”

“Oh,” Milly says. “I’ll do that. I like being a girl.”

Layla hugs her from behind and continues browsing. “This kind look familiar, I think this is what Mama got us.”

Damian grabs grabs the box and reads over it. “Sounds good to me.” He tosses it into their basket along with the nighttime variety in case someone gets their period during a sleepover. “Okay, this way.”

“Candy?” Layla asks in confusion when she sees what aisle they’ve been led to. “Why?”

“You have so much to learn, young one,” Damian tuts. He grabs a massive bag of chocolate and adds it to their basket too. Layla tries to peek at what kinds are inside and earns herself a gentle flick. “Not for you.”

“That’s all for Leo?!” Layla asks loudly. “No fair!”

“Do you currently have a torrent of blood escaping your body against your will?” Damian asks with a raised eyebrow. Layla shakes her head. “That’s what I thought. You’ll get your own bag when you get yours. I’ll fight off your moms to give you your first period chocolate. Just a few more things, then we can go back home.”

Damian grabs some spare undies and a lavender teddy, one that can be microwaved and used as a heating pad. Once that’s been added to the basket he lets each of the girls pick a face mask for themselves, and ones for him, Aaron, Leo, and Ellis too.

“Ooh, look!” Milly suddenly says, wandering off when she spies some miniature backpacks. “Daddy, can I get one?”

“Actually, yeah,” Damian says. “Layla, that’d be good for when you two don’t have your school backpacks, you could keep your stuff in there. You should pick one too.”

“Okay,” Layla shrugs, grabbing a purple one without much thought.

“This one can be for Leo!” Milly says happily, holding a blue one with her own pink one.

“Sounds good, Froggy,” Damian hums. “Okay, let’s go check out now.”

Once their few items have been purchased, Milly takes the receipt that’s nearly as long as she is and does a ribbon dance around the parking lot. Layla cheers her on and acts as a backup dancer until they make it back to the car.

“Crazies,” Damian says lovingly as they enter the car. “Buckle up, I need to go home and eat.”

—————

They hear the shower water shut off just as they get back. Damian sends Layla upstairs with the new undies and pads to give to Leo. Her twin opens the door to take them and then quickly shuts it again, locking it behind her. Layla is halfway back downstairs before she hears Leo call for her.

With an eye roll she turns back around. “What now?”

“I don’t have clothes,” Leo mumbles. “Mine are in the laundry.”

“Oh,” Layla says. She takes a deep breath and yells, “Uncle D!”

“What?” Damian yells back.

“Leo needs clothes!”

“Oh! Okay, one sec!” Damian calls.

“God, Layla, you’re so loud,” Leo grumbles through the door.

“It worked, I don’t see why you’re complaining,” Layla huffs back.

Damian pads his way up the stairs. “You guys can’t share with Milly anymore, can you? That growth spurt you two had. Hmm.”

He disappears to his own bedroom and comes back with some of his old sweatpants and a hoodie.

“These will have to do, Aaron’s old stuff is all in the laundry,” he says, handing them to Layla to give to her twin. “Leo, dinner’s done whenever you’re ready, honey.”

“Thanks, Uncle D,” Leo calls through the door.

“Of course,” Damian says as he heads back to everyone downstairs.

“Do you need anything else, Your Highness?” Layla grumbles.

“No, leave me alone,” Leo says back.

“Suit yourself. Love you,” Layla calls as she also heads back downstairs.

“Love you too!”

————-

Leo comes padding gently down the stairs a few minutes later. Her wet hair is loosely braided over her shoulder and she’s in her uncle’s sweats, the pants tied with a hair tie at her waist and cuffed to fit, and the sleeves of the shirt rolled up several times.

Layla watches in a mix of awe and concern as her small dancer of a twin sister wolfs down three portions of their spaghetti dinner in the same time it takes her to finish one. Leo sticks her tongue out at her when she catches her staring.

-

“Whoa,” Leo says when she spies the massive bag of candy and teddy bear waiting for her on the couch after dinner. “This is all for me?”

“Of course,” Damian says. “Celebrate your next forty-odd years of misery, come on.”

“Leo, look,” Milly insists, dragging her to see the teddy bear. “He smells nice and you can cook him so he gets warm!”

“Thanks, Mills,” Leo chuckles. “Did you name it yet?”

“No,” Milly murmurs. “Um… Theo!”

“I like it,” Leo nods.

“Oh, wait!” Milly yells suddenly, running to grab the backpacks they bought.

“Milly, inside voice, darling,” Aaron scolds gently. There’s not much use to it, Milly is so exuberant all the time.

“Sorry Papa,” Milly says shyly. “Here!”

Leo takes it curiously. “Thank you.”

“For when we don’t have our school bags,” Layla explains. “Mine’s purple, don’t touch it.”

Leo rolls her eyes. “Sure, like I want your stuff. Hey, that’s mine!”

Layla quickly stuffs the rest of her stolen piece of chocolate into her mouth so Leo can’t have it back. “Heh.”

“Loser,” Leo huffs.

“Settle down,” Damian chuckles, grabbing his daughter and sitting on the couch for a movie while Milly passes out the face masks. Ellis cuddles into his side, and Aaron sits by him. Leo and Layla take their usual place on the ground by everyone’s feet. Leo holds her new warm teddy bear to her cramping tummy and forces her twin to cuddle her.

————-

“Heyyy,” Cady greets as they enter the house a few hours later. Milly runs to go hug her aunties.

“Hey, Milly Billy!” Janis greets, scooping her niece up and carrying her back to the living room. “Aww.”

Her twins are both sound asleep on the floor and almost completely intertwined. She can’t totally tell where one ends and the other begins.

“Why is Leo in Damian’s clothes?” Cady asks, taking a few pictures of her daughters actually tolerating each other.

“And why is there so much chocolate?” Janis adds, setting Milly down to go back to her own family.

“Leo started her period, her stuff got stained,” Damian explains. Aaron heads to go grab said clothes from the dryer. “So we took a fun little trip to the convenience store.”

“Poor kid,” Janis hums. “I didn’t even think of that, we gave them stuff to keep in their school bags but I forgot to give them anything for when they’re… not at school.”

“She was fine, she actually handled everything pretty well,” Damian shrugs. “Did you ladies have fun?”

Cady starts giggling suddenly, and Janis pouts. “I only hit the ceiling one time!”

“Jay, we went bowling,” Cady giggles. “I still don’t know how you managed it, that ball was heavy.”

“It was one time! I beat you, anyway,” Janis grumbles.

“I let you win,” Cady retaliates. “Get our children.”

Janis carefully pries the twins apart and scoops up Layla while Cady takes all of their things. Cady carefully pecks her daughter on the forehead as Janis carries her past and giggles quietly as her nose twitches.

Janis comes back once Layla is safely in the car and grabs Leo to carry her out as well. Leo is a lighter sleeper and wakes up as she’s lifted from the ground.

“Hey, Mommy,” she yawns. Janis chuckles and kisses her forehead.

“Hey, Bee. I hear you had a big day,” she whispers back. Leo nods and cuddles into her. Cady kisses her forehead too, and her daughter grins a little. “Bye guys. Thank you for taking care of her.”

Aaron and Damian both wave as the ladies all leave. Janis puts Leo in the back by her sister and gets into her own seat to take her family home. Leo falls back asleep almost immediately, so Cady and Janis are almost alone together.

Cady looks at her when she hears a sniffle. “Mpendwa, what’s wrong?”

“They’re growing up,” Janis whispers. “Leo has her period, she’s-she’s a teenager. They both are, they’re not… they’re not my little ones anymore.”

Cady grins sadly at her and squeezes her hand. “I know. We can’t stop time. But they’ll always be our babies.”

Janis nods and squeezes her back, blinking the tears out of her eyes so she can drive safely.

—-

Janis carries the twins up to bed once they get home. When she heads back to her own bedroom, she finds her wife waiting for her with an old photo album from the twins’ first few years.

Janis rushes through changing into her pajamas and brushing her teeth to cuddle in with her wife. She and Cady stay up late, reminiscing over the photos and even farther back.

“Did you ever think when you rescued me from the bathroom that day in high school that we’d be here?” Cady asks quietly once photos have been seen and stories retold.

“I could only dream it, Sunshine,” Janis murmurs back. Cady scoffs and nudges her.

“You’re so poetic,” she chuckles. Janis rests the photo album on her nightstand and grabs her wife for their nightly cuddle session. Once the lights are off and they’re holding each other close, Cady whispers, “I’m glad we’re here.”

“I am too, baby,” Janis whispers back in between kisses. “I am too.” -

thank you for reading!! hope you enjoyed!

lots of love,

ezzy

[searchingwardrobes]

The Early Leaf’s a Flower: 11/11

I can't believe we are at the end of this fic! I am immensely proud of it, and I am so thankful for those who were willing to go on the journey with me to re-imagine Someone to Watch Over Me. I feel like the original was just a germ of an idea, and this event gave me the courage to build an entire world around it. A world similar to canon, yet unique. World building has never been my strength, and this re-write stretched me and helped me grow. In that way, I am so thankful to the ladies in the csrt discord chat, especially @optomisticgirl​ who stepped in as one of my last minute betas. B, you are the queen of world-building, and you have no idea how many times you helped me in chats to work out my own world in this story! Character development was also a big challenge in this fic, and for that I thank @shippingtheswann​, my other beta. Emma and Killian's relationship wouldn't be as rich if not for you! And thank you to @distant-rose​ for helping me with the Lost Boys, the pirate crew, and the Neverland mythos. (If you ever need any info on pirates and ships, she's your girl!) I was nervous to take the story into some dark places, but you cheered me on and helped me trust my instincts. And of course, tons of thanks to the mods of this event at @captainswanbigbang​. I was contemplating abandoning this fic until I saw you were organizing this, so massive kudos for putting this on!

One final thing, and I'll shut up and get to the actual chapter. My original vision for this fic was to take it where people had been begging me to - with Emma reuniting with her parents and the fall out from that - yet with my own version of the Enchanted Forest and the curse. However, as I worked on the story, I realized I had bitten off way too much. Therefore, I decided to split up the story. Sooo, this isn't the end! There will be a part two, which I am already working on. I will not be posting it until it is complete. It is shorter than this story, however, so hopefully the wait won't be too long!

Summary: She saw eyes that were the blue of the forget me not peering at her through the cracked door of the wardrobe. He saw hair as gold as the buttercups. Why does the wardrobe keep bringing them back to one another, if fate keeps tearing them apart? Or maybe fate has her reasons …

Rating: M for sexy times, violence, canonical character death, and attempted rape (all in previous chapters - this last chapter is mostly fluff)

Words: 6k and some change in this chapter

** Complete and updated every Monday** Also on Ao3

Emma and Killian: Age 24

When Emma was a little girl, she had found a book of fairy tale stories at the school library. Inside was a picture of a little cottage by the sea made of a hodgepodge of stones and a thatched roof, and rolling all around it were hills of soft grass. She can no longer remember what story the illustration accompanied, but she does remember how often she would stare at that picture, thinking how cozy the family must have been who lived in that house. She checked the book out every chance she got, and when she was moved yet again to a new foster family and a new school, she had committed a grievous sin: she had ripped the picture out of the library book.

Well, it had felt like a grievous sin to her seven year old self. Especially when the sweet librarian, Miss Stacy, had reminded them gently on numerous occasions of the proper way to treat the books. Ripping pages was definitely not the proper way.

Somewhere along the line, she had lost that ripped page. Yet here, below her now, nestled in the dip of the hills and facing the sea along the shores of Avalon, is that dream house of her childhood.

“Killian,” is all she can manage to say.

“Do you like it?” he asks, dipping his chin and scratching behind his ear. How can he be nervous giving her such a gift? Henry yells in delight and races down the hill towards the cottage.

Finally, she finds her voice again. “Like it? I dreamed of a house like this. When I was a kid.”

“Truly?” he asks incredulously, eyes bright with hope.

“Yes!” she exults, throwing her arms around his neck and peppering his face with kisses. She shakes her head as she pulls back, cupping his face with her hands. “But we can’t live here. Won’t you miss the sea?”

“A pirate ship is no place to raise our son, and besides . . . “ he pulls her closer to the quaint home. Once they crest the hill, the land levels out, and the view is breathtaking. “ . . . there’s the sea right at our back door,” he finishes with a wide grin.

“Mama,” Henry cries as he comes flying out the front door, “can I pick out my room? There are three. Cause I want the one upstairs. Can I have the one upstairs?”

Emma laughs at her son’s barrage of questions. Killian reaches down and scoops up the wriggling child.

“Sorry, my boy, but you’re mum gets first choice.” He successfully cuts off the lad’s whines by tickling him. Then he sets Henry down upon his feet and ruffles his hair. “In the meantime, why don’t you pick some flowers for your mother? The field over there is carpeted with them.”

Killian points west away from the sea, and Henry eagerly scampers off. Emma calls after him to be careful.

“Don’t go too far! Make sure you can still see the house!”

“He’ll be fine, Swan,” Killian assures her, pulling her inside the house. “He never fell overboard on the Jolly despite your worrying, now did he?”

Emma rolls her eyes. “Haha, that really puts my mind at ease.”

Killian winks at her, then gives her a tour of the first floor, which is bigger than she would have expected. There’s a small foyer, then a formal sitting room to the right and a formal dining room to the left. At the end of the hall is a kitchen that opens up into a family room with a stone fireplace identical to the one in the parlor. Next to the stove in the kitchen is a door that opens out onto a patio with an even better view of the rocky sea below. Between the hallway and the kitchen is another door that leads into the master bedroom. The bed is tucked right beneath the window, and Emma can imagine falling asleep to the soothing sounds of the crashing waves.

“There’s no indoor plumbing like in your realm,” Killian explains as Emma circles the room, her hand skimming over the furnishings, “but there is a stream practically in our backyard, and the kitchen is large enough to put a tub in one corner.”

Emma pauses in her explorations and arches a brow at him. “You think I’m going to complain about a lack of plumbing after six months on the Jolly Roger?”

Killian manages another nervous laugh. “So you like it?”

She steps close to him, resting both of her palms on his chest. “I’m more worried if you’ll like it. You won’t miss the adventures at sea?”

“As I’ve said many times, piracy is ten percent adventure, ninety percent sheer boredom.” He lifts one of her hands and kisses it. “I’m ready for a life with you and Henry. I’m ready for the family I haven’t had since my mother passed.”

Tears well in Emma’s eyes. It’s still hard to believe sometimes that anyone would choose her, put her first. Yet this man isn’t just anyone, is he?

“Besides,” Killian says, thumbing her chin, “the Jolly still belongs to us.”

“But are you really satisfied turning her into a merchant ship? Is your crew?”

He draws her close, tucking her head beneath his chin. “Mason has always wanted to go to the naval academy, and with a year or two on a respectable merchant ship, he can. Hawkins wants to go to university, and Curly is looking at a plot of land to purchase and farm. Starkey has a sweetheart in Camelot, though he’s tried to hide it. As captain of my vessel, he can now ask for her hand. They’ve all grown up, Swan, and they have dreams and plans of their own.”

“And they’re loyal to their first captain,” Emma amends with a smile.

“I don’t know why.”

“I do,” she tells him, brushing a kiss to his cheek. “Are you sure you won’t get bored doing ledgers, placing orders, or whatever else merchants do?”

Killian shakes his head and bops her nose. “Quit doubting me, love! Besides,” he leans closer and stage whispers in her ear, “don’t tell anyone this, but I rather enjoy keeping the ledgers.”

Emma finds the nerd beneath his swashbuckling swagger incredibly sexy for some reason. “Well then,” she teases, stepping away from him to saunter over to the large bed. She grasps one of the bedposts and drapes herself around it in what she hopes is a sexy maneuver. “In that case, Mister Jones, maybe we should christen this bed.”

Killian growls and pounces, yanking her close and claiming her lips hungrily. Emma’s just dropped to the bed with a giggle when Henry comes pounding inside.

“Watcha doin?”

Emma almost falls to the floor in her haste to push Killian off her and jump to her feet. “Um, Papa’s just . . . tickling me.”

Killian chokes as he tries to hold back a laugh, but Henry is oblivious. Their son sticks out his hand, and clenched in his fist are a bunch of small yellow flowers.

“Oh, well, I did what Papa said and got you some flowers, Mama!”

“Buttercups!” Emma can’t help the tears that spill down her cheeks. “Thank you Henry!”

She picks up her son as Killian steps closer. He embraces both of them, brushing kisses to the tops of their heads.

“Welcome home, my loves,” he tells them.

******************************

After removing his boots by the door, Killian tiptoes through the cottage, the light of the full moon helping him avoid the furniture, Henry’s toys, and Emma’s shoes which she always leaves wherever she happens to kick them off. When he gets to the kitchen, he’s able to light a lamp so he can find the supper that Emma promised to leave on the stove. The Jolly was late coming into port, and going through the inventory took much longer than he had anticipated. Luckily, Emma is used by now to that most unpredictable of mistresses: the sea.

“Killian?”

The sound of his name is weak, yet he can still make it out on the other side of their bedroom door. He crosses to the bedroom, opening the door as quietly as possible. Emma’s curled up on the bed, her hair lit gold by the moon, and she’s so still he thinks maybe he didn’t hear her after all. He wants to reach out and touch her, yet he doesn’t want to wake her.

“Killian? Killian?”

She stirs slightly, but it’s clear she is still half asleep as she mumbles his name.

“Aye love, it’s me.”

“Killian?”

“Yes?” He touches her lightly through the blankets.

She says his name a few more times, like a question, and he can’t help smiling at how disoriented she is. He’s learned over the past year that she does in fact talk in her sleep. She finally seems satisfied that he’s here, and that he’s Killian. Her body relaxes and she mumbles good on a sigh. He pats her gently again and turns to go, but before he can, she reaches out and manages to find his hook in the dark.

“But you’re not leaving?” she asks, still in that sleepy voice.

The question makes his heart swell. “No love, I’m not leaving.”

“Henry’s not leaving?”

He lifts his hook and brushes his lips across her hand, which clings to the metal tightly. “No, Swan.”

She lets out a little shudder and releases his hook. He bends, brushes a kiss to her brow, then turns back to the kitchen.

“Killian, have we done this before?”

The question has him frozen with his hand on the doorknob. He isn’t sure what she means by the question.

“I only just got home, Emma,” he tells her gently.

“Oh,” she murmurs, sleep finally beginning to claim her fully and slurring her words. “I guess I dreamed it, then.”

Killian tiptoes out and slowly closes the door behind him. He chuckles to himself as he sits down at the table with the food Emma had left on the stove. Yet as he takes a bite of the roast on his plate, he sobers. He hates the fears that sometimes plague Emma. He wonders how long it will take for the love in their little home to ease them.

******************************

Killian awakes the next morning to the banging of pots and pans, sometimes punctuated by curses in their small kitchen. He may have had second thoughts about the location of the master bedroom if he had been aware of the fact that Emma was completely incapable of moving about quietly.

“Can I have more strawberries, Mama?” Henry calls out, far louder than necessary, and Killian groans as he shoves the pillow over his head.

“Shhh,” Emma admonishes, in the exact same volume as their son, “you’ll wake up Papa.”

“Why’s he not up? He said he’d bring home more paper for me.”

“You know the ship doesn’t always arrive on time. Now eat.”

Killian flings aside the pillow with a sigh, knowing that getting any more shut eye is impossible. Yet as he buckles his brace and slips into his shirt, he only feels joy well inside his chest. He did get Henry more paper for his scribbles, and he can’t wait to hear what tall tales the lad will weave next. He can’t, at only six, truly write yet, but he feels with fatherly pride that it’s merely a prelude of what is to come.

Once he’s dressed, he grabs the parcels wrapped in brown paper and string that he’d hidden in the nightstand before he went to bed. He tucks them under his hooked arm, then bursts through the bedroom door. “Making an entrance,” as Emma would say.

“Papa!” Henry cries out, tossing aside his fork and jumping up from the kitchen table.

“Killian!” Emma admonishes, turning from the stove with a spatula in her hand. “I was trying to let you sleep.”

“A pointless endeavor, love,” he quips with a wink. Emma rolls her eyes and turns back to the stove. Henry leaps onto his back, trying to grab the parcels.

“Whaddya get me, Papa?”

“Well, get off me, you little monkey, and I’ll show you.” Henry slides to the floor, and Killian hands him the largest parcel. “Paper, as requested.”

“Yay! But what’s the other one?”

Killian hands him the small, compact, rectangular package and grins as Henry rips into it. The paper falls away to reveal a leather bound book with beautiful gilt-edged pages and hand painted illustrations in deep hues.

“That, my boy, is a book of tales from Agrabah where the air smells like spices and the sultanese keeps a tiger for a pet!”

“Wow! Will you read it to me right now?”

Killian glances over his shoulder at his wife. “Not until after you eat your breakfast.”

He ruffles Henry’s hair, and the boy obeys. Killian turns to the stove where Emma is purposefully keeping her back to him, though he can’t fathom why. He saunters up behind her and leans over her shoulder, breathing in the vanilla scent of her hair.

“Mmm, something smells delicious.”

“It’s just pancakes,” she retorts, but she is unable to hide her smile.

“I wasn’t talking about breakfast,” he growls lower against her skin. He feels her shiver beneath him, but when he tries to grab her around the waist, she dodges him. She grabs the plate of pancakes and carries them to the table.

“Eat them before they get cold,” she says with forced cheerfulness, and he frowns. She sits next to Henry, sliding a pancake onto the boy’s plate, and Killian sits as well.

“I got you something too,” he tells her, sliding a small parcel across the table with his hook.

Emma still refuses to meet his gaze, fiddling with the string around the square package that could fit in the palm of her hand. “You know I never need anything but you.”

“Yet a man likes to spoil his bride. Go ahead, open it.”

She glances up at him from beneath her lashes, then tears into the paper with a tentative smile. It falls away to reveal a small velvet box, and Emma gasps before she’s even lifted the lid. When she does finally open it with trembling fingers, she breathes out his name. Killian slides off his chair and falls to his knees next to her. He pulls the gold ring with its simple jade stone reverently from the velvet and slides it onto the ring finger of her left hand.

“I promised you I would get you a ring the day we wed, remember?”

Emma nods, staring at the gem and turning it in the light.

“I know diamonds are the usual choice, but this immediately made me think of your eyes. Then the gold like your hair . . . “ he trails off worriedly. “Emma?”

She looks up at him finally - and promptly bursts into tears. Killian glances at Henry worriedly.

“Take your breakfast outside on the patio, okay?”

Henry nods and scurries off without argument, his brown eyes wide as he glances at his mother. Killian rubs his wife’s back and whispers soothing words, most of them nonsense. He hands Emma his handkerchief, and she wipes it across her eyes, then blows her nose loudly. She cocks her head at him, and the words out of her mouth are the last ones he expected.

“Did we have a conversation when you came home last night?”

“Um . . . yes, love. You said my name about a hundred times then asked if I was staying.”

Emma nods, twisting his handkerchief in her hands. “I thought so. Did I ask if we’d done this before?”

Killian laughs and rubs her back again. “Yes, you did. I wasn’t sure if you meant last night, our entire marriage, or since we were ten.”

Emma nods, but says nothing. He’s entirely confused. It isn’t like Emma to cry out of nowhere. Or refuse to look at him. Or dodge his touch. He’s beginning to become concerned, truth be told.

“If you don’t like the ring -”

“Of course I like it! It’s perfect!”

“What then?”

“Oh God,” Emma pants, hugging her middle and looking up at the ceiling. “Last night, I dreamed about this conversation. In my dream - my nightmare - you got angry and left.”

Killian’s brow furrows. “I can assure you, Swan, nothing you can tell me would ever make me leave.”

She levels him with a steady gaze. “You used to. Through the wardrobe.” He starts to open his mouth, but she lifts her hand to stop him. “I know it wasn’t intentional, and I’m not blaming you, I just . . . I just . . .”

He grasps her hand firmly in his. “Breathe, love, it’s okay. You just get scared sometimes. It’s okay. So do I.”

“You do?” her voice sounds so small and fragile that it breaks his heart.

“Aye, of course. It has nothing to do with love or trust. The wounds of childhood tend to linger.”

“But I do trust you!” she exclaims.

He draws nearer and cups her cheek. “I know that. That’s my point entirely. The fears are irrational, for both of us. Now, what is it you have to tell -”

He stills when Emma takes his hand and places it on her abdomen. It’s different somehow, and he freezes. He had noticed the last time they made love, but couldn’t quite put his finger on the change. Now he gazes into Emma’s blushing face - how had he not noticed the sudden roundness in her cheeks? The pieces begin to fall into place - her fatigue lately, that illness that seemed to linger far too long . . .

“Emma, are you . . . “

She nods, her eyes welling up with tears again. Her tears - of course! He swallows thickly.

“Emma you’re . . . “

She grins wider, cocking her head saucily. “I’m rather proud that I’ve rendered you speechless. I think the word you’re looking for is pregnant.”

A grin fills his face, a goofy, joyous grin. “Well, I was going to say with child, actually.”

She rolls her eyes. “Of course you were, my old fashioned sailor who -”

He cuts her off with a passionate kiss, and when it ends, he scoops her up and spins her around with joy.

“Careful there, buddy. The morning sickness is mostly gone, but I make no promises that I won’t puke on you.”

“Wait,” he says, shaking his head, “how long have you known about this?”

“Well,” she hedges, “this realm doesn’t exactly have a stick you can pee on.”

“Sorry?”

She laughs, “Never mind. Let’s just say it took me awhile to figure it out, and then it took me a bit longer to get up the nerve to tell you. I’d say I’m at least twelve weeks along, probably more.”

Killian cups her face with his hand and locks his eyes intently on hers. “Do you honestly believe I would leave you over this?”

She bites her lower lip and shakes her head.

“Can’t you see now how happy this makes me?”

“Well,” she says with a shrug, “you spinning me around the kitchen sort of convinced me, I guess.”

He throws his head back and laughs before kissing her soundly again. But he doesn't do any more spinning.

No sense testing fate.

***************************

“I’m sorry, Captain Jones, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

The midwife has the audacity to grab Kilian by the arm and try to forcibly remove him from his own bedroom. On the bed, Emma is crying out as her next contraction hits.

“I’m not leaving,” Killian says firmly.

“It isn’t proper for a man to be present,” the midwife argues, though her words are almost drowned out by Emma’s cries.

“Bullshit,” Emma interrupts the argument, her breaths coming raggedly as her

birthing pains abate for the moment.

“Mrs. Jones, it just isn’t done,” the midwife snaps back, aghast.

“Well it is in the realm I come from,” Emma tells her, “not to mention the whole

impropriety thing is ridiculous. He’s obviously intimately familiar with my vagina.”

The midwife’s eyes grow impossibly large, and Killian can’t stop the chuckle that escapes him.

“Mrs Jones! It isn’t ladylike to -”

“Yeah, well ladylike has never described me anyway.”

The midwife presses her lips together in a disapproving way as she draws closer to the bed. She lowers her voice, but the woman is seventy-three and hard of hearing, so Killian can hear every word.

“I’m aware that your husband isn’t the biological father of your son, so I’m going to assume this is a bit new to you. If your husband sees you in this state, well . . . it may . . . turn him away from you, if you catch my meaning.”

Emma’s face turns a deeper shade of red that has nothing to do with her labor, and her eyes blaze in a way Killian knows well. He grins wider, knowing that his wife is about to render this woman speechless.

“My husband wasn’t complaining about my pussy when he was between my thighs last night, so I think I’m safe.”

Yep, speechless. Killian can’t help winking at the midwife as he saunters past her. The woman looks like she might faint. Killian kneels beside the bed and brushes a kiss to Emma’s forehead. Her face crumples as she clutches desperately at his hand.

“She was trying to make you leave!”

“Nothing could tear me away, love.”

“Oh God!” Emma yells, drawing her knees up as another contraction rolls through her. Emma releases Killian’s hand and grabs onto his hook instead as she groans in pain. This one is stronger than the last, and just as Killian is about to lose his mind because he can’t help her, she collapses against the mattress.

“I didn’t want to break your one good hand,” she tells him with a wane smile.

“I appreciate that,” he quips back with a lopsided grin.

The midwife has pushed the sheets back and is examining Emma. “Well, Mrs. Jones, your contractions are longer and closer together, but the baby isn’t crowning yet. We’ve got a while still.”

Emma whimpers and shakes her head. “It didn’t take this long when Henry came.”

Killian puts his arm around her and whispers that he loves her. She drops her head wearily to his chest, and he kisses her sweaty brow. Another hour goes by the same way, and it feels like time has stopped altogether. Killian feels her labor is unceasing, so he can’t imagine what it must be like for her. Though she’s clearly exhausted, he’s amazed at her strength.

“I see the head!” the midwife finally says excitedly, and it’s the most beautiful thing he’s ever heard. “Can you push for me when the next contraction hits, Emma?”

The look on his wife’s face is full of determination as she draws her knees up. He sees her tense when the pain comes again, but she bears down with a scream. She has to do the same thing again, and again, and yet again before the midwife laughs out that the baby’s head is out. The midwife shocks him when she pushes back the sheets further and asks if he wants to see. Killian does, and he blinks back tears when he sees their baby.

“It’s almost over, Emma,” he encourages her.

Emma pushes a few more times, and finally, cries fill the air. Emma laughs even as she collapses in exhaustion. Killian kisses her and murmurs over and over how bloody brilliant she is.

“It’s a girl!” the midwife announces as she rubs the baby down with salt to fend off infection.

“A girl,” Kilian breathes and kisses his wife again.

The midwife then washes the baby off with the water Killian had boiled for her hours ago. The little thing is red, screaming, and oh so tiny, but the midwife is all business as she cleans her up and wraps her in a blanket. The woman only softens when she gently places the baby girl in Emma’s arms.

“Oh Killian, she’s so beautiful,” Emma whispers as she brushes her fingers over the baby’s cheeks.

Killian lays down sideways on the bed next to his wife and gazes in wonder down at the tiny baby. She has a tuft of dark hair on her head, and her skin is damp and feather soft beneath his fingers. She’s ceased her crying, her eyes wide as she gazes up at Emma, as if she recognizes her mother instantly.

“She has your eyes,” Emma whispers with a smile.

“And your chin and nose,” Killian adds.

“And your ears,” Emma says, her thumb tracing over them.

“Poor thing.”

“Hey,” Emma admonishes, tearing her gaze away from the baby, “I love your ears.”

They just gaze down at her for several moments, Killian grinning broadly when the baby’s tiny fingers wrap around his pinkie. A tear slips down his face, and Emma reaches up to wipe it away.

“Do you want to hold her, Papa?”

He can only nod, his emotions overwhelming him. He gathers the bundle into his arms, holding her close to his chest and out of the way of his hook.

“What shall we name her, Swan?”

“I’ve been thinking about that a lot, actually. I sort of had a feeling she was a girl, and well . . . there’s only one name that seems fitting. A name that I will always associate with love and home.”

“I know exactly what you’re referring to, my love, and I think it’s absolutely perfect.”

There’s a soft knock at the door, and they both turn their heads to see Starkey in the doorway with Henry in tow. Kilian grins.

“Henry, would you like to come meet your baby sister Martha?”

Henry’s eyes are wide as he draws closer to the bed. Emma reaches out and encourages her son to climb up and join them. He settles in next to his mother and leans over to look at the baby.

“She’s pink,” he observes, and they laugh.

“She won’t be forever,” Killian explains, “all babies are that way at first.”

“Even me?”

“Yes,” Emma teases, kissing his cheek, “even you.”

Henry gets bored of the baby fairly quickly and asks if he can go back down to the beach with Starkey. After he leaves, Emma and Killian cuddle together to love on Martha, until she starts to fuss.

“Okay,” the midwife says briskly, “Papa needs to leave so Mama can nurse.”

She let’s Killian stay the minute she sees Emma’s scowl.

Emma and Killian: Age 28

“Papa, again, again!”

Killian laughs as his three-year-old daughter makes futile attempts to move the rocking horse back and forth. “Okay, okay, anything for my cygnet.” He presses his hook down on the horse’s tail, setting it in motion again as his little girl squeals with delight.

Emma laughs too from her chair by the fireplace. “That’s the truth. You know the kids don’t need you to bring gifts every time you’re away.”

“It’s part of the inventory I own, love, I can do what I please with it.”

“You spoil us.”

“Happily.”

He winks at his wife as she settles back into her chair and sips contentedly on her mug of hot chocolate - another gift from his latest shipment. Business is booming with the addition of a second ship. Starkey is still the captain of the Jolly while Nibs has taken the helm of the Jewel II. The Jolly is what sets Killian’s business apart, however. With the pegasus sail, it’s able to bring exotic goods from far away realms that no other merchants can acquire. Though Hawkins, Mason, and Curly all left to pursue their respective dreams, Killian had no trouble replacing them nor acquiring a crew for Captain Nibs. Jones Shipping has developed a reputation for treating their sailors well, and Killian has been able to hire the very best at sea.

The Jones family enjoys frequent trips on the Jolly as well, with renovated accommodations that Killian made specifically to make his family more comfortable. Henry and Martha are just as content at sea as they are on land, though this little cottage of theirs is always a joy to come home to.

Killian continues to rock Martha on her new toy as his gaze lands on Henry, now nine years old. As usual, he wanted more paper and pencils, which he goes through at an alarming pace. His writing is incredibly engaging and complex for a boy his age, and Killian couldn’t be more proud. Henry’s no slouch behind the wheel of the Jolly, either, and can read the stars as well as any of Killian’s crew. No father has ever been more blessed than he.

Their domestic evening scene is disrupted by a knock at the door. Emma frowns as she rises to her feet, setting her mug down on the coffee table.

“Who could that be?”

When Emma opens the door, she lets out a pleasantly surprised gasp to find Tinkerbell and Tiger Lily standing there. Despite Martha’s protests, Killian joins Emma at the door with his little girl balanced on his hip. There’s the typical round of greetings, hugs, and exclamations over how much the children have grown, but Emma and Killian both get the feeling this isn’t just a social visit. Not at this time of day, and not by the looks of those nervous expressions on the fairies’ faces.

“I just brought home cocoa and tea from Agrabah,” Killian tells his old friends. “Would you like some?”

“Yes, that would be nice,” Tiger Lily says, “tea for me, please.”

“I’ll take some cocoa,” Tink adds, “remember how Wendy used to love it?”

“Yes, she sure did,” Killan says, his mind going back in time to a frightened little girl with leaves in her hair. He hopes wherever she is, that Wendy is happy.

“Um, Henry,” Emma says slowly, “why don’t you take Martha upstairs with her new rocking horse?”

Killian holds his breath for the lad to protest. His baby sister in his room isn’t his favorite thing in the world, but the boy must pick up on the tension radiating off the fairies because he immediately agrees.

“Come on, Martha,” Henry tells her as he hoists up the rocking horse, “I bet I can rock you even faster than Papa.”

Martha squeals in delight and eagerly follows the big brother she idolizes up the stairs. Emma settles in at the kitchen table with the fairies while Killian goes to the stove.

“What’s this all about?”

That’s his wife, direct as always. Tiger Lily sighs and cuts a quick glance over to Tink.

“Emma . . . “ she says slowly.

“We found your parents!” Tink interrupts, practically vibrating with excitement. Tiger Lily rolls her eyes.

“What?” Emm breathes, and Killian abandons the tea pot to rush to her side and take her hand. “Are you sure?”

“Well, lost princesses are more common than you might think,” Tiger Lily says dryly, “but in the case of the lost princess of Misthaven, it all adds up.”

“Adds up to you, Emma,” Tink put in. “The birthmark, the princess’s birthdate, the wardrobe - all of it!”

“Wait,’ Killian interjects, “did you just say wardrobe?”

He’s cut off by the whistling of the teapot, and he goes quickly to retrieve it from the stove.

“I think we need to start from the beginning, Tink,” Tiger Lily says as Killian sets out the tea and cocoa on the table. When he joins the women, he draws his chair as close as he can to his wife so he can put his arm around her and take her hand.

“You may have heard the tales about Snow White, her Prince Charming, and their battles with the Evil Queen,” Tiger Lily begins.

“Snow White and Prince Charming?” Emma asks. “You mean they’re real?”

“Says the woman married to Captain Hook and having tea with Tinkerbell and Tiger Lily,” Killian quips, earning him an eye roll from his wife. She’s told him the version of Neverland in her former realm - a ridiculous version, in his opinion.

“Yes, they’re real, silly,” Tink says with a shake of her blond curls.

“I’ve heard of them,” Killian says, “go on.”

“Well,” Tiger Lily continues, “you may have heard that though they banished the Evil Queen after taking back the kingdom, she returned when Snow was with child. She cursed the baby with an evil spell.”

“Yes,” Killian says with a shake of his head, “and it came to pass. The child came too soon and died.”

“No, she did come too soon, but the child did not die. Secretly, the Blue Fairy helped the court woodworker fashion an enchanted wardrobe -”

Emma gasps and clutches her husband’s hand tighter. “Killian! A wardrobe!”

“I know, love,” he whispers.

“The wardrobe was supposed to send Snow safely to a land without magic where the curse couldn’t touch the unborn child,” Tiger Lily says.

“It could only carry one,” Tink clarifies.

“But the baby came too soon, so they had no choice but to send the child through alone. The Evil Queen and her minions were mounting an attack on the castle, so they had no more time.”

Killian nods. “I’ve heard of that battle. It’s a favorite tale in every realm, though not one with a happy ending. The Evil Queen was slain, and everyone was led to believe that in the chaos, Queen Snow lost the child.”

“And you believe this baby was me?” Emma asks softly.

Tiger Lily reaches across the table and gently turns over Emma’s left wrist. “The Blue Fairy cast a spell over you in the womb so that when you were born, this mark would be upon you. So your parents would know you when you found them.”

Emma’s eyes well up with tears. “How did they know I would ever find them?”

“They had faith and hope. Even with the Evil Queen dead, her curse still remained until your 21st birthday.”

Tink jumps in, bouncing on her seat. “The best part, Tiger Lily, tell them the best part!”

Tiger Lily smiles indulgently at the blonde. “I think you’d like to tell them, so go ahead.”

“The Rose Fairy imparted a gift to you, Emma - that the wardrobe would bring you your true love, and that when the time was right, he would lead you home.”

Emma turns to Killian, her eyes bright with tears as she cups his face. “Our wardrobe, Killian, that’s why it appeared to us.”

He shakes his head in wonder. “Emma, I know how you feel about me, but true love? That’s the strongest magic of all. Surely someone more worthy . . . “

Emma’s face softens as tears slip free and roll down her cheeks. “Don’t you see? The wardrobe brought us together right when we needed one another the most. Right before I lost Martha, right before you lost your brother and Milah. Then it brought us together for good when you found Henry.”

Killian lets out a breath of wonder as Emma’s thumb traces the scar on his cheek. “We always find one another, don’t we?”

Tiger Lily and Tink both beam as they speak again.

“It’s funny you should say that -”

“Because it’s kind of your family motto.”

To Be Continued . . . . 😉

Tagging: @snowbellewells​​​​  @kmomof4​​​​ @whimsicallyenchantedrose​​​​ @teamhook​​​​ @bethacaciakay​​​​ @let-it-raines​​​​ @welllpthisishappening​​​​ @wellhellotragic​​​​ @winterbaby89​​​​ @xhookswenchx​​​​ @courtorderedcake​​​​ @branlovestowrite​​​​ @hollyethecurious​​​​ @vvbooklady1256​​​​ @profdanglaisstuff​​​​ @carpedzem​​​​ @ekr032-blog-blog​​​​ @jennjenn615​​​​ @tiganasummertree​​​​ @lfh1226-linda​​​​​ @ultraluckycatnd​​​​ @spartanguard​​​​ @shireness-says​​​​ @scientificapricot​​​​​ @stahlop​​​​​ @resident-of-storybrooke​​​​​ @superchocovian​​​​​ @sherlockianwhovian​​​​​ @snidgetsafan​​​​​ @ohmakemeahercules​​​​​ @thislassishooked​​​​​ @ilovemesomekillianjones​​​​​ @nikkiemms​​​​​ @delirious-latenight-laughs​​

[hookedonapirate]

Happy Birthday @nikkiemms​!!!

I saw it was your birthday today and wanted to write a little something for you. You are always one of the first people to comment/like/reblog my stories and I wanted to thank you and let you know how much I appreciate you! I hope you are having a wonderful birthday and are able to do something fun today. Lots of love! 🎉🧁❤

This one-shot was inspired by a children's birthday party I went to a few weeks ago when a man dressed in uniform caused a freak-out among all the adults. Thank you @onceuponaprincessworld​ for encouraging me to write it when I wasn't sure what to write, and for looking it over!

Hope you enjoy @nikkiemms​!

You Can Put Out My Fire Anytime

Rated: Teens and up

Also available on: AO3 I FF.N

Emma wanted her son’s seventh birthday party to be perfect. Which is exactly why she’d asked her sister-in-law to help her out. Mary Margaret is great with kids; she’s an elementary school teacher, so she has to be great with kids for the sake of her sanity. And If the peals of laughter from the kids are any indication, they'd pulled it off. 

  Now they can sit back in their lawn chairs on the back porch, sipping punch, chatting with the other moms and relaxing for a minute as the little ones make use of the jungle gym, and David and Robin grill up some hot dogs and hamburgers. The other food has already been prepared and set on the table, protected in food storage containers with lids, except for Henry’s birthday cake, which is in the house for later.

  “I’m surprised Lily and Liam aren’t here. Didn’t you invite them?” Mary Margaret asks Emma.

  Emma scans the children playing on the jungle gym, squinting her eyes. “You’re right. They’re not here. I’m pretty sure they were on the list.”

  Mary Margaret laughs. “If Henry had anything to do with the invitations, Lily was definitely on the list.”

  Emma arches a brow. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

  Mary Margaret shakes her head, waving off Emma’s question. “Oh nothing, forget I said anything.”

  Emma crosses her arms over her chest, eyes shooting daggers at her sister-in-law. “What aren’t you telling me?”

  Mary Margaret sighs in defeat and puts up her hands. “Okay, I could be wrong, but I think Henry has a little crush on Lily. You did not hear that from me. I made a pinky swear not to tell anyone.”

  Emma furrows her brows. “If you made a pinky swear then he must have told you.”

  Mary Margaret makes a motion with her fingers to zip her lips. “Sorry, I can’t say anymore.”

  “So Henry likes a girl? But he’s only seven.”

  “Oh please, you’re never too young to have a crush. How old were you when you started chasing boys?”

  “I never chased boys,” Emma says defensively. 

  Mary Margaret eyes her skittishly. “Sure, Emma, sure,” she smiles knowingly. 

  “Okay maybe one or two,” Emma admits with a coy smile and a sigh. 

  Thankfully, her sister-in-law drops the subject and heads inside the house to use the bathroom.

  “Liam! Lily!” Henry shouts and races across the yard as two other kids, a boy and a girl, run to meet him. The boy is carrying a gift bag that’s almost as big as he is and Henry takes it, dropping it off at the gift table before the three of them run off toward the jungle gym.

  “I guess their parents were too busy to join us?” Emma remarks to no one in particular.

  “Parent,” Regina corrects. “Their mother left when they were young. So now it’s just them and their father.”

  “Really?” Emma asks, her heart cracking for the two kids as she watches them play with Henry and the others. 

  Lily is a beautiful young girl with long, shimmering black hair and blue eyes, and Liam shares similar physical traits. In fact, they even look similar in age. “They look the same age. Are they twins?”

  “Yes, they are.”

  “Um… are we missing anyone?” Ashley asks, her voice edged with panic as she points at each child, counting them under her breath.

  Fear rises in Emma’s chest as she shoots up from her chair and scans the children, making sure everyone is there who’s supposed to be there. But no one appears to be missing. “Why do you say that?”

  “Oh, perhaps because of the policeman who just entered the backyard, carrying a children’s baseball cap,” Regina answers.

  Her statement sends the mothers into a fit of panic, all of them darting their eyes in search of the aforementioned cop.

  Emma takes one look at him as David and Robin head over to chat with him. Even the fathers are freaked out about having a cop in the backyard.

  Emma's heart stutters when she sees him.

  He’s wearing a badge and a uniform, but this is no ordinary cop. This man is freaking gorgeous. He’s tall and muscular with dark hair, his skin is moistened with sweat and bronzed from the sun. He’s so perfect he looks straight from a magazine. Do they have porn featuring men in uniforms because if not they really should. This man looks way too good to be real. 

  Emma’s been to jail before, taking the fall for her ex's crime, and she's never wished to go back, but right now she's wishing this man would take her away in handcuffs.

  When the policeman is laughing with the fathers and Emma realizes there is no present danger or missing kid, she is curious why he is here and wonders what her sister-in-law is up to. As soon as Mary Margaret returns to the porch, Emma narrows her eyes suspiciously. “Did you hire a stripper for a children’s party?”

  Mary Margaret wrinkles her brows in confusion. “Of course not. Why would you think that?”

  Emma nods her head toward the gorgeous policeman. “What does he look like to you?”

  “Who?” Mary Margaret looks over Emma’s shoulder, her eyes lighting up with recognition. “Oh, you mean the firefighter? That’s Liam and Lily’s father.” She shoots up her hand and waves as she heads down the porch steps. “Hello, Killian!”

  “That’s Lily and Liam’s father?” Emma repeats to herself, staring at him with her mouth agape. 

  "You forgot your lucky hat," Killian calls to his son, holding up the baseball cap. 

  Holy Hell. He has an accent too? 

  Liam rushes over for the hat and a hug from his father, and Killian ruffles Liam’s hair before the small boy rushes away, putting the hat on his head. Lily runs over to say goodbye to her father, and after he scoops her up in his arms and plants a kiss on the crown of her head, she gives him a kiss on the cheek. Emma’s heart melts as she watches him interact with his daughter. “Have fun, princess,” he says sweetly and watches her run off to play with her friends. 

  “He can put out my fire with his big hose anytime,” one lady snickers, apparently reading Emma’s thoughts. 

  When Killian turns around, his eyes find Emma’s from across the lawn. And she can't breathe or even move her head to look away. Nor does she want to. 

  “Emma, come here,” Mary Margaret waves her over, and Emma reluctantly complies.

  She thought he looked good from afar, but boy, he looks so much better up close. His smoldering blue eyes and heartwarming smile as he regards her with intrigue take her breath away. 

  Now that she's much closer, she can see that the badge he wears is of a fireman emblem. 

  “Killian, this is Henry’s mother, Emma,” Mary Margaret introduces them.

  Just as he slips his hand in hers, she starts to shake it before realizing he has another idea in mind. 

  “Hello, love, it’s a pleasure to finally meet you,” he says in a deep, husky voice as he lifts her hand to his luscious looking lips and kisses the back of her hand, his eyes still locked with her bewildered ones. 

  Oh, the pleasure is all mine, Emma is tempted to say, but bites her tongue to stop herself. Besides, she doesn’t know if she could speak, even if she had something appropriate to say, because her mouth goes completely dry. She tries to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. Apparently she forgot how to speak.

  This gorgeous firefighter is kissing her. Okay, he’s only kissing her hand but, holy hell Emma’s never been so turned on in her entire life, let alone from an innocent hand kiss. Then again, an innocent hand kiss has never seared her skin.

  “It’s nice to meet you too,” Emma rasps, somehow finding the words on her tongue.

  “Emma thought I hired you as a stripper,” Mary Margaret chortles, breaking their trance.

  Oh, God.  

  Emma peels her eyes away from the ridiculously handsome fireman to glare at her sister-in-law. Really, Mary Margaret?!

  Killian’s eyes are glinting with amusement as he finally removes his damn, surprisingly soft lips from her skin, a big grin spreading across his face. “Is that so?” 

  She hasn’t failed to notice he’s still holding her hand. Not that she’s complaining. His hand is so warm and strong and she’s dreaming up all the things he could do to her with that hand. With both hands.

  “Yes. Can you believe she thought I would hire a stripper at a children’s party?” she asks her husband.

  David shrugs. “You are best friends with Ruby.”

  That earns him a playful swat on the arm.

  “It was a joke,” Emma states defensively and offers Killian an apologetic smile, bashfully moving her eyes away. “Sorry.”

  He finally releases her hand to wave off her words, and she shivers from the loss, even under the blazing heat of the sun. “Please, don’t be. I’ve been called worse.” He leans in until he’s so close she can feel his breath on her skin as he murmurs in her ear. “Though if you wanted a lap dance, all you had to do was ask.”

  Emma’s breath hitches, her cheeks flushed with red. She doesn’t even know how to respond to that. “I’ll um... I’ll keep that in mind.”

  She looks over at Henry, trying to ignore how fast her heart is beating. When she sees Lily chasing him around the yard, both of them giggling cheerfully, she laughs. 

  Killian turns around to see what Emma’s laughing at. “Looks like my daughter has a crush,” he chuckles.

  “I think it’s mutual… well according to Mary Margaret.” Lily’s not the only person in this backyard with a crush. Definitely not. She turns to face Killian again. “I’m sorry again for the stripper joke.”

  He scratches behind his ear, his cheeks tinged with blush. “Like I said. I’ve been called worse. But if you feel the need to make it up to me, I wouldn’t argue,” he says, a slight smile tugging at his lips. 

  Emma crosses her arms over her chest and arches a brow, “And what would you suggest?”

  “You could go out to dinner with me?”

  Emma studies him for a moment, considering his proposition. It’s not like she’s opposed to having dinner with him, but she has other ideas in mind as to how she could make it up to him. Ones that involve a bedroom and maybe that lap dance he spoke of. She quickly shakes her thoughts away. “I suppose asking you to stay and offering you a hamburger and hotdog doesn’t count as dinner, does it?”

  He smiles. “It’s a start.”

  She sighs dramatically and shrugs. “And here I was hoping you’d say no. Oh, well.” She walks away from him and goes to the grill where David and Robin are plating the meat. 

  After helping her son get a plate of food, she gets a hamburger for herself and goes to the food table for a bun and condiments. She scoops some pasta salad and chips on her plate before joining the adults at the picnic table while Henry sits with the other children at the kiddy table. When Killian sits next to her, she's surprised he hasn’t brought a plate of food with him. He’d only helped his daughter fill her plate.

  “Not hungry?” Emma asks suspiciously.

  He leans in and murmurs, “I changed my mind. I’d rather take you out to dinner.”

  Damn her cheeks for warming with blush again as she gives into a slight smile. She scoots her plate in Killian’s direction. “Here, take this.” She gets up from her seat to make another plate so he can have hers. 

  “So does this mean I can’t take you out?” he asks, his eyes clouded with disappointment as he looks up at her. 

  “Oh, you can still take me out to dinner.” She leans in and whispers in his ear so no one else can hear, “But this way, you owe me a lap dance.” She walks away with a smirk on her face, knowing she left him just as flustered as she is right now.

[izzy-b-hands]

Kloktober, Oct. 4th: Villains or Family

I went with both for this day’s fic. How? You’ll see. 

Quick synopsis: Pickles goes home, and this time, it should be different. 

Should be. 

More Skwisgaar/Pickles in this because I gave myself an itch for it with the end of yesterday’s Kloktober fic, and this fic actually does make mention of my fic from Oct. 3rd, so if you haven’t read that one first, not a bad idea. Maybe not one hundred percent necessary, but it makes the reference clearer!

Also Trans!Pickles because I haven’t gotten to indulge that headcanon in ages. 

TW for emotional familial abuse, mentions of casual transphobia, general neglect from family. 

My love to all who read/like/reblog!

“It’s fine, Nathan,” Pickles says, but it isn’t fine. 

His family has pulled some bullshit before, but this tops the charts. 

They had called, a family emergency. Come right away. In tears, please think of us, put aside any past hurts and we’ll do the same for what you’ve done to us. 

So he had rushed, with Charles’ help, to get a plane ready, their own personal red eye flight just for him. 

He’d barely managed to pack anything, and it consisted mostly of things he only wore back at home. Thick hoodies and sweatpants. Dark jeans and heavy boots. A few baseball caps and beanies. 

He was sick of being recognized back there. But this stuff could help prevent it, sometimes. Or at least, if anyone thought they recognized him, they’d have to do a double take, couldn’t call out the name he hadn’t responded to for years off hand like they did whenever he showed up without trying to cover himself up as much as possible. 

“Doesn’t sound fine,” Nathan says. “We can come out there-” 

“No!” Pickles can hear that he says it too quickly. “I’m okay. I’ll be back in a few days.” 

He hangs up and shoves his phone back in his pocket before he can consider calling Nathan back, begging him to send a plane to get him. 

They might still be here. He’s checked his parents house three times over, but maybe they’re just out right now. 

He’s checked the hospitals too. And anywhere else he can think of for that matter, including the grocery and big box stores. 

But if they’re still anywhere in town, then he’s missed them. 

It almost stings more, that his parents didn’t at least change the locks. Had they done that, he would have turned around and gone home right away. Certainly wouldn’t have gone wandering around town in the heavy snow, falling lightly now, amber under the streetlight he smokes by. 

His mother doesn’t like the smell of smoke in the house. 

Is it just that they wanted to fuck with him? Were they even in town when they had called? Was there actually something wrong, and they had missed telling him a vital update? 

He beats his brain against the inside of his skull for not asking more questions. He didn’t even ask what the emergency was about. He knows better. 

He should know better. 

He stamps his joint out in the snow and starts to head inside. 

Then stops. The backyard, small as it is, beckons. 

He trudges back into it, ignoring the snow as it works its way into the holes in the bottom of his boots. 

In the dark, in the fenced-in backyard, he can pretend he’s somewhere else. 

Not necessarily other than Wisconsin. But a different version of it. 

A version where he didn’t leave, because he didn’t feel he had to. Where no one stumbled over calling him ‘Molly’s little gi-child’, or asked when he would grow his hair back out so it could be braided the way his mother had done it when he was in preschool. 

Where this is his house. He’s earned it, who knows how, but it’s his. He can come and lay out in the backyard, in the cold snow, like this, whenever he pleases. He’s alone, but in this version, it doesn’t matter. Somehow the loneliness never touches him, doesn’t even make him blink.

He talks to no one, and no one talks to him, and he pays for the mortgage some way or another, and eventually he dies alone in the living room in an armchair, covered by a blanket. 

It’s peaceful. 

He knows time hasn’t paused, since he flopped into the snow. But it feels like it could have, and that’s close enough. 

“What ams yous doing?” 

He jumps at Skwisgaar’s voice, and rolls over to see him standing at the gate of the backyard fence. 

“I’m...” he hesitates. 

Before he can figure out what he wants to say next, Skwisgaar is over the low gate with a quiet grunt as he lands in the snow. 

He trods over, somehow graceful despite the wet, heavy snow clinging to his boots, and lays down next to Pickles. 

“They amn’ts here, ams they?” 

He hates the tears, hates that they dare show up at all. Hasn’t he cried enough over their bullshit? “No. I don’t know where they are.” 

“Haves they called?” 

“No.” 

“Haves you called them?” 

“No,” Pickles admits. “Don’t wanna know what they’ll say when they answer. If they answer.” 

“Let’s me does it then,” Skwisgaar says, and pulls his phone out from the pocket of his jeans. 

He puts it on speaker, holds it between them as it rings. 

And rings.

And rings.

And rings. 

They try Molly, Seth, Amber, Calvert. 

It’s the same every time. 

“They knew,” Pickles mumbles as Skwisgaar puts his phone away. “They knew I’d still come out here. They’re probably on fuckin’ vacation with Seth or something. They did it just to fuck with me, I know it.” 

He can see the conflict on Skwisgaar’s face. Can guess what Skwisgaar wants to say, to be comforting, compared with what they both know the truth is. 

“That mights be true,” he says, finally. “But then yous can go. Comes back home.” 

He sits up, and drops his face into his knees. “I don’t want to go. But I don’t want to stay here. Don’t wanna be here when they get back. I just wanna be in this, right now, back here.” 

Skwisgaar nods. “I doubts they’ll be backs tonights. Wes can stays out here.” 

“You ain’t cold?” 

Skwisgaar shrugs. “Been colder.” 

They’ve edged around this. Whatever it is, between them. Neither dipping in too far to it, content to dance around the lines. 

He crosses one now, and lays back, rolling over to rest his head on Skwisgaar’s chest. 

Skwisgaar’s arm wraps around him, holds him close. Doesn’t move or waver as he sobs, but Skwisgaar’s other hand does reach over to wipe the tears from his eyes, ever so gently. 

“I gots a hotels room,” Skwisgaar says. “Wes can go there, whenevers you ams ready. Or wes can stays here, if you wants.” 

“You don’t have to stay with me,” Pickles gasps out in between another set of sobs. “I know Nathan-” 

“He didn’t sends me,” Skwisgaar interrupts. “I overhears him on the phone. Told Charles to gets me a plane, to tells the others I was goings to meets up with some old ladies or something.” 

“We said this didn’t have to be a thing,” Pickles says. 

“I knows,” Skwisgaar sighs. “But...I sorts of wants it...to bes a thing. If you does too.” 

That thought has been running laps through his mind since their failed cruise trip, since the first night they spent together that was sharp and furious but still far more romantic than any random hook-up, like they had been pretending it was. 

He rolls over onto Skwisgaar, the snow soaking through his jeans as he straddles him, and kisses him, hard. 

He worries, as they break apart, that it wasn’t answer enough. He should be more clear, say it plainly-

Skwisgaar cradles his face gently, and kisses him back. Softly, sweetly, with a tiny moan on the end of it. His thumb brushes across Pickles’ cheek, and he realizes he’s answered enough, perfectly. 

“Wants to go fucks in your parent’s beds?” Skwisgaar asks. “Makes them regrets that theys dids this, and calls you heres only to be horribles?” 

Pickles laughs and nods. “Then the hotel? We can get room service and watch whatever crappy horror movie we can find?” 

Skwisgaar smiles. “Yeah. Can’ts be scareds if I watch one with you.” 

There will be explaining to do, back at home. They’re A Thing now, and the rest of the guys will have questions. 

But he’s okay with questions. He’s okay with all of it, with moving out of this moment that he had hoped he would somehow be frozen in. 

So long as Skwisgaar is with him. 

[agentmarymargaretskitz]

Us Against the Universe

Happy massively belated birthday, @fezwearingjellybananas! I’m sorry this took so long and I hope a Marvellous Ladies of DC has been worth the wait.

AO3

              A loud wail came from the bassinet just as Zari finally got her piece to the other side of the checkerboard. Her mother looked directly towards her baby brother and got out of her chair. Zari watched her mother pick up her baby brother, shushing him and rocking him back and forth. It didn’t calm him down, so he either had a dirty diaper or was hungry. Probably both.

“Zari, I think we need to pause the game for a while until he calms down,” her mother said as Behrad wailed louder.

“Nah,” Zari pushed her chair back. “He’s probably hungry or something. I’ll just go read.”

She stomped off towards the stairs. The prospect of having a little brother was exciting when Mama and Baba first told her. She’d seen the other kids in her class talk about their younger siblings and been a little jealous she didn’t have that. But Behrad was too little to do anything fun. All he did was cry and sleep and poop and he couldn’t even eat halva yet. Her parents were always busy with him and barely had time for her.

“Zari.”

She looked down from the steps at her mother, still swaying with an angry Behrad. “I know it’s been harder to do things together, but we’ll be able to do it more when he gets older.”

Zari shrugged. “Okay, Mama. I think his diaper’s getting full.”

“You’re right. I’m going to change him.”

              She rushed off and Zari trudged up the steps to her room. After shutting the door and opening her window, the young girl flopped heavily on her bed. Staring at the ceiling got boring quickly, so Zari grabbed the new book Baba had given her and sat next to the window. She had been meaning to read it for a while. Now seemed like a good time.

“No!” came a scream through the window.

“I’m so sorry, Lily. I-”

“I HATE you!”

“Lily, please-”

              The commotion made Zari peer out her window over at the next-door neighbors to see Lily Stein crying out in the backyard. The Steins were good friends with the Tarazis and had let her stay with them when Mama had to go have Behrad. They were really into science and insects, but they had talked to Zari about their computer and how it worked. She really liked them and hoped everything was okay.

Zari stuck her head out the window. “Lily!”

Lily’s lip trembled. She didn’t respond, but just ran toward the bushes. Zari knew exactly where she was goin.

“Wait for me! I’m coming down!”

              Zari backed up and grabbed her backpack. She stuffed in her new book and Mama’s old Walkman inside. Zipping it up, she bounded down the stairs and to the front door to get her shoes. Mama was sitting on the couch with Behrad, watching Zari as she stuffed her feet in her sneakers. “Going somewhere?”

“Next door to see Lily,” Zari explained.

“Be back for dinner.”

“I will! Bye, Mama!”

              She ran out the door and around the house towards the bushes she’d seen Lily go through. She ran through the bushes and looked both ways before crossing the road to get to the park. Once she made her way to the other side, Zari bolted towards the woods and ran along the trail until she found the hideout that she and Lily had built. Her friend was inside, clutching her Beebo doll and crying.

“Lily?” she called out.

Lily stopped her sniffling momentarily. “Zari?”

“What’s wrong?” Zari asked as she crawled into the small fort made of sticks and branches. “Is everything okay?”

Lily shook her head. “My dad’s dead.”

Dr. Stein was dead? Zari didn’t get it. “What happened?”

“He and Mom were going on another business trip,” explained Lily. “Mrs. Jackson came over with Jax to watch me. They were supposed to be back two days ago, but then Mrs. Jackson got a call that it was going to take longer. Then Mom came back and told me Dad was dead!”

She started crying again. Zari reached out and patted her shoulder. It wasn’t fair at all. Lily’s dad had come into their class sometimes to do science demonstrations. He let her help him fix the computer when she’d been staying with them. Hearing that he was dead was awful and scary. Poor Lily.

“I’m sorry,” was all she could say.

Lily sniffled and sat Beebo between them. Zari remembered it’d been a Hanukkah present from her father. “I want him back.”

Zari nodded. She couldn’t imagine how she would feel if Baba was gone and didn’t want to.

“Want to listen to music?” she finally asked after a few minutes of silence.

              Lily gave a small nod. Zari pulled out her Walkman and passed the headphones to the other girl so she could listen first. She also took out a notebook and pencil too for hangman. They played for a little while, going back and forth with different topics to eventually make each other laugh. It wasn’t until a drop of water hit the paper that either girl realized it was starting to rain. Zari stuffed everything into the bag before it could get too wet and took off with Lily.

              The rain was coming down harder and the sky was getting darker as they raced down the trail. Lily grabbed Zari’s hand and pulled her back as a tree branch came crashing down on the trail. They ran through the mud and weeds to the clearing where kids played soccer. Once they were out of the woods, Zari saw something large in the clouds as lightning split through the sky. She ran further into the field with Lily on her tail, now a lot more curious.

“Did you see that?” she called over the rain. “Lily?”

“Zari!”

              Beams of light suddenly shone down on her. Zari held up her arm and looked up to see something hovering above her. It was some massive thing, floating up in the sky. The lights grew brighter and Lily ran forward to stand at her side. Colors began to swirl around the two of them. Zari grabbed Lily, who clung back to her as they were lifted into the air. She shut her eyes as the light grew too blinding, holding onto Lily tighter.

              Then the brightness cut out and Zari’s sneakers touched down on something solid. She cracked an eye open, then the other. No longer was she on the soccer field with Lily. They were on a pad in some large metal room. The people surrounded them all wore red jackets, but they didn’t look like people. Some had scales, others were slimy. There was a fellow with two heads and one with just eyes.

Aliens. They were surrounded by aliens.

They said something in a language Zari didn’t understand as another alien came forward. She (Zari thought the alien was a she) seemed almost human, but there were blue markings under her eyes. Pointing in a direction, she barked out something. Three aliens grabbed her and Lily and lead them away.

~~~

They put Zari and Lily in some kind of cell together and locked it. Almost immediately, they both started making a racket and screaming to be let out. Yelling felt good for Zari. But then a large alien growled something at them and gave them a stern look. Zari was pretty sure that they wanted them to shut up. She screamed at the alien again only to get a roar back that got alien spit on her before they were left alone.

“We’re on a spaceship,” Lily commented quietly as Zari took a seat on the bench next to her. “I thought if this ever happened, it would be more like Star Trek.”

“You’ve thought of being on a spaceship before?”

Lily shrugged. “It was more fun in my head.”

“Whatever happens, it’ll be an adventure,” Zari assured her. “We’ll get home and we can have dinner at my house and tell our families everything. We just stick together, and we’ll be okay.”

“You and I against this,” Lily grinned for the first time since their hideout.

              Then the aliens came back but there was no yelling at them this time. They unlocked their cell and guided them down a bunch of halls. It didn’t seem like they were letting them go though. Zari reached over and took Lily’s hand as they were brought into a cabin. The woman with marks under her eyes was seated inside, two cups in front of her. Both girls were put in seats and aliens held them down as the woman approached with the cups. Zari felt her mouth get forced open and something went down her throat, despite her attempts to gag it up.

“What was that!” she shouted as Lily got the same treatment.

The woman put the cups down on their desk. “Ingestible translators.”

Zari gaped at her. “You speak English.”

“It sounds like English to you Terrans, but I’m speaking in the tongue of my homeworld,” the woman said. “Now you can understand what everyone is saying and stopping screaming your heads off at us.”

Lily narrowed her eyes at her. “Who are you?”

“Captain Mary Xavier, and this is the Refuge.”

“I’m Zari Tarazi,” Zari introduced. “This is Lily Stein. Can you take us back home? We live on Earth and I’m probably late for dinner now.”

Captain Xavier laughed and shook her head. “You’re a long way from Terra, child.”

She pressed a button, opening a shade behind them. There was no Earth. Just stars and blackness and something of swirling colors. It was beautiful and terrifying all at once.

“Terra’s three jumps away,” Captain Xavier continued, motioning for the other aliens to leave. “You’re not going home, kids.”

“But my parents-”

“Won’t miss you,” Captain Xavier barked. “You’re part of the crew now.”

“How?” Lily crossed her arms. “Aren’t you supposed to sign something? I didn’t sign up for this!”

“You have now,” Captain Xavier smiled at them. “You’re with us, girls. No going back.”

Zari crossed her arms too. “I don’t want to be part of your crew.”

“You should consider yourself lucky, child. If it wasn’t for me, the rest of the crew was going to gobble you up. They haven’t tasted Terran before. You owe me, child.”

Zari really didn’t want to be eaten. She uncrossed her arms, and Lily followed her example. “So we’re part of your crew then, I guess. What do you do?”

“We’re Ravagers. We find things and get them to people who pay us the biggest price. Sometimes we have to fight for them.”

“Like pirates? Just in space.”

Captain Xavier nodded at Lily. “You’re right. Both of you are small. You’ll be good at thieving in the tight spots.”

Zari and Lily looked at each other. Stealing seemed better than being eaten by aliens.

“Listen here,” Captain Xavier’s voice became a touch softer. “You’re with the Ravagers now. We look out for each other. You two already seem to do that. The rest of the crew’s gonna see you as Ravagers soon instead of the next meal. Okay?”

Zari nodded.

“Now, get yourselves to the galley. Food’s gonna be served and you’ll miss it if you don’t hurry.”

Lily got out of the seat. “Where is it?”

Captain Xavier sighed. “I’ll show you two today. You’re on your own tomorrow.”

~~~

              Dinner was a mishmash of things that Zari had never seen before and didn’t know if they were okay to eat. Lily wasn’t sure either until another crew member whose skin reminded them of a hedgehog came over and talked to them about the food. She didn’t know much about Terran religion but seemed interested about halal and kosher food. There were other religions in space too with their own requirements about food. They ended up eating everything except the meat before Captain Xavier came and showed them to their room.

“You two share this room. Don’t start any fights or you’ll get floated.”

She shut the door, leaving them alone. Lily let Zari have the top bunk and settled into the one below.

              Zari stared out at space from the small porthole. This was a whole lot different than the videos she had seen at school and when her parents took her to the planetarium. Her parents were probably worried sick about her now. She’d missed dinner for certain. When she’d left, she’d said bye to Mama but not to Behrad. Zari had been annoyed by him for so long, but she missed him and Mama and Baba so much now.

A muffled cry came from below. Lily.

Zari leaned over the edge. “You want to come up here?”

It didn’t take long for Lily to scramble to the top. Her eyes were red and puffy in the light from outside of the spaceship.

“I miss Mom,” she whimpered. “And Dad and Mrs. Jackson and Jax.”

Zari felt her own eyes well up. “I miss my family.”

“I told my mom I hated her.”

“I was jealous of my baby brother. Mama didn’t have time to play checkers with me.”

“I feel really bad,” Lily cried, staring out the window.

“Maybe it’s all a dream,” Zari suggested. “Maybe we’ll wake up tomorrow and today was a bad dream. We’ll be home and your dad will be there.”

“And if it’s not?”

Zari had to think about that now. “We’ll find a way to break free. We can run away from the Ravagers in a spaceship and go back home to Earth.”

Lily smiled. “Terra is a cooler name though.”

“It is. And we’ll make it home to tell people. Even if it’s us against the universe, we’ll make it.”

~~~

              A month passed, or at least they were sure it was. Zari was using an old class calendar from her folder to keep track and Lily had made a twelve-month calendar on a sheet of paper. They’d been with the Ravagers long enough to pick out the ones who were nice and those who were mean. Captain Xavier wasn’t so bad. She acted like a mother, a teacher, or a captain. Zari had heard her once whispering with another alien about them and ‘Mon-el’ but missed the rest when she’d heard them coming and ran.

              Today was their first job. Captain Xavier had a buyer asking for them to steal fuel cells. The Refuge’s crew would provide cover while Zari would go steal the cells with Lily and another crew member. It was a lot of responsibility, but the captain felt that they were ready. If they failed, the crew would eat them. Success was very crucial for their survival.

              One upside of space and the Refuge was the technology and how much more advanced it was than on Terra. Zari had spent a lot of time with Lily learning about the ship and its computers and how they worked. She was doing great with learning about how to use different settings and systems. Lily was too, but she preferred learning about the mechanics of the ship.

They’d also become exceptionally good in lockpicking, diffusing energy fields, and fighting offensively from Captain Xavier’s lessons.

              After a stressful hour of crawling through vents and avoiding sentries whilst holding a case of powerful but tiny fuel cells, Zari was back on the ship with Lily. Both were grimy and sweaty and had some small burns from the cells, but overall alive. Captain Xavier had been satisfied with what they’d done, and a few other Ravagers even congratulated them. For the first time, Zari felt like she’d found her place.

Then she remembered Mama and Baba and Behrad.

~~~

“What are we doing out here?” Zari asked as she followed Captain Xavier into the forest.

“You said your birthday was today,” the captain said, ducking under a branch with orange vines that seemed to be moving. “Figured I can teach you something more useful now.”

Zari climbed over a fallen tree and ran forward a little bit to catch up. “I know how to start up the ship and reboot it. I can control the thrusters now too. That’s useful.”

“You’re still a long way off of me letting you fly. No, today you’re learning how to use a blaster.”

“A blaster?”

“Yes, child. I can’t keep sending you and Lily out on your own unprotected.”

She unclipped her blaster and showed Zari how to fire it. Then she took a few shots, taking down tree branches. The young girl watched with wide eyes while they fell to the floor, like the tree branch had in the storm before the Refuge had taken her.

“Your turn.”

Zari took the heavy weapon in her hand. Captain Xavier knelt beside her, talking her through the steps. Aim it the right way. Check the levels on it. Aim again. Turn the safety off. Squeeze the trigger when ready.

“Watch out for the kickback,” Captain Xavier warned gently when Zari was ready.

She squeezed the trigger. Its force made her stagger back a little, but there was a burning hole on the bark of the tree she’s been aiming for. Captain Xavier looked proud as Zari turned the safety back on.

“I hit it,” she murmured.

“You did,” the Kree woman ruffled her hair a little, causing a few pieces of her braid to come out. “We’ll practice some more.”

“Okay.”

Captain Xavier stood back up. “You don’t like using it that much, huh?”

“You kill people with these. I don’t want to kill people.”

“That’s a good thing. Good people never want to kill.”

“But the Ravagers kill sometimes.”

“We do. I don’t like to. Some evil just needs to be taken out. Others you have to just run from.”

She got a faraway look for a moment. “Evil might come for you one day. I want you to know how to protect yourselves. I was younger than you when I got taken away from my family and forced to work for someone else before the Ravagers saved me. If I’d known how to defend myself, then I would have never been taken away in the first place.”

“But then you wouldn’t have met the Ravagers.”

Captain Xavier shrugged. “I probably would have found them eventually. I was a bit of a free spirit.”

Zari scuffed her foot against the dirt. “I don’t want to use a blaster though.”

“How about a stunner?” Captain Xavier said. “You’ve seen them. Had to use that with the Dominator that snuck onboard. It doesn’t kill, but it does sting like crazy.”

Zari nodded. “I like that better.”

“Fair. It works like a blaster. You can take a few more practice shots with it if you want. The rest of the crew is probably still getting supplies out here. There’s time.”

Zari hefted up the blaster. “Okay.”

~~~

“Come on!”

              Lily was a few paces ahead of Zari as they ran down the hall of the Valeronian outpost. In the two years they’d been in space, a lot had changed. They were Ravagers now, which sounded more official than space pirates. Zari had become masterful at putting together and taking apart electronic systems. Lily worked well with small pieces and mechanical bits. When they put their skills together, they created some great things. It was enough to let Captain Xavier start trusting them to go on assignments without someone watching out for them.

“I though you said it would work to keep the door jammed!” Zari sped up a little, which was hard while holding a large axe they had been tasked to bring out.

“It was supposed to! I need something stronger to keep the bolts powered. Like dwarf star!”

“Lily, we can’t get dwarf star on the Refuge.”

“Well, I’m saving credits for-”

She skidded to a stop as a large Valeronian came out of the crater in the wall the Ravagers had blasted for them to slip through. Zari stopped, nearly running into her. The axe this guy had was a lot bigger than the one they were stealing.

“Stay back!” Zari shouted, holding the axe they had out.

Lily backed up beside her as he drew closer.

Something blasted him through the other wall. As the dust settled, Captain Xavier was there, blaster in hand. There was murder in her eyes.

“Get back to the ship,” she ordered. “Now!”

Zari and Lily didn’t waste time. They booked it.

~~~

“Beebo la-la-loves you!”

Zari pulled off her headphones. “It still works?”

“Yeah, you just have to squeeze him a little harder. Wonder if Terra still sells these things?”

“Maybe they do. We could go and see it one day.”

“How?” Lily set Beebo back on their desk, away from some of the tools so they didn’t set it on fire again. “We’re with Mary’s crew. You don’t just leave the Ravagers.”

“You can if you have a fast ship. Remember the last gathering? People say it’s happened.”

Zari closed her book and slid off the bed. “Think about it. When we get old enough and have enough credits, we can leave. It doesn’t have to just be Terra we go to. It can be anywhere! We can see all kinds of galaxies. See if Krypton is really still out there. Find the Lantern Corps. A whole life of adventure for you and me.”

Lily grinned. “I like it. But it means we’re running from the Ravagers forever.”

“But we can outsmart them! I know we can! And we’re both learning to fly and you know how to fix the ship and I’m good at managing the programming of it all. Just think of it.”

“We’d be like outlaws for the Ravagers. Outlaw space pirates. We’d need names.”

“Good point,” Zari glanced out the porthole at the stars. “Something with space.”

The preteens were silent for a few minutes, watching the stars and a few bits of space junk floating off in the distance.

“I’ll be Star Lady,” Zari finally declared. “How about you?”

“Cosmonaut,” Lily told her. “Like astronaut, but with cosmos. It sounds cooler.”

“You know, it does. Makes me think of the nebulas.”

“Star Lady and Cosmonaut, explorers and rogues of the galaxy.”

“Us against the universe. We’ll be amazing.”

~~~

              Zari stared out at Xandar as she flew the ship in closer. She brushed a stray piece of hair back as she waited for the clearance to come through to the ship. Maybe she should have taken up that offer from Lily to cut her hair short. It looked really good on her friend, who was seated off to the side.

“So what are you going to do once we get the clearance?” Mary asked.

“Gradually accelerate, but not too much to damage the shield,” Zari answered. “Coast on the descent and don’t aim downward.”

“Good. Now do that as soon as we get clearance.”

Zari nodded. Lily strapped herself in as they were approved to go in.”

When they landed, Mary patted her on the back and congratulated her on the landing. Then she ordered the girls to stay on the ship while they sold off some of the things they’d picked up and stock up on supplies. Zari and Lily could practically say the speech with her now, but never knew why they had to stay aboard. Mary never disclosed the details.

“Lily,” Zari said, turning to her friend as they watched the rest of the Ravagers leave. “I want a ship.”

“Me too. But ships cost money.”

“Then let’s start saving credits.”

~~~

“Hey, Zari?”

Zari had nearly been about to drift off to sleep when she heard Lily’s voice. “Hm? Everything okay?”

“Yeah…I just want to say something.”

“Do I need to turn on the light for this?” Zari asked, pulling off her covers. It would be easy to get to the lights now that she was on the bottom bunk. Lily had wanted to switch a few months ago and Zari was happy to have her feet on the floor without having to jump down.

“No, you don’t have to. But I want to tell you something now before I chicken out.”

“Lily, you’re scaring me.”

“No, no, no! I’m fine. It’s just, um, I don’t like men. I…like women.”

“Oh,” Zari blinked. “Okay.”

“You knew?”

“Not quite,” Zari didn’t exactly lie. She had noticed that Lily always blushed more around aliens who identified as female than she did with males. “Had a feeling but I didn’t want to assume. So I figured I’d wait until you said something before I did.”

“What do you mean?”

Now it was her turn. Zari inhaled and braced herself. “I like women too. And men. Women more though.”

“That’s great!”

“Yeah,” Zari nodded. “I don’t know I would have figured it out if I was still on Terra. I didn’t know you could even like women. When I did, I figured it was either one or the other. And then we kept growing up and seeing more and learning more and…it hit me a year or two ago. But I didn’t know if I could tell you.”

Lily’s head appeared upside down from the bunk. “Why not?”

“I was afraid that if I did, I would lose you.”

“You wouldn’t. And you won’t. You’ll never lose me, Z. It’s like you always tell me. Us against the universe.”

“Us against the universe,” Zari repeated. “Star Lady and Cosmonaut stay together, no matter what.”

~~~

Zari fell back as the fist crunched against her nose. “Ow!”

“Take that, Terran- hey!”

Lily had jumped on the new girl’s back and drove her elbow into her shoulder blade. While the two fought, Zari, wiped the blood away with the back of her hand and swung her fist at her. It connected with the other girl’s eye, toppling her and Lily back. Zari was ready to go at her again before she looked up.

“Uh-oh.”

“I should say,” Mary snarled, looking down at the three of them. “I thought I told you two to teach Eve about taking inventory.”

Lily scrambled away from Eve. “She called us stupid Terrans.”

“She did.”

Eve scoffed and crossed her arms. “They are.”

“You’re one to talk. I pulled you out of that cesspool of a town and I can easily put you back there. You respect everyone on this crew, no matter from where they came from.”

Eve scowled and picked herself off the floor.

“And you two…”

Zari grimaced as Mary turned to her and Lily. “You’re old enough to know better. Both of you are. You need to show her the way. There’s still time for the crew to taste Terran.”

She’d been using that threat for years. Zari and Lily knew she’d never see it through, but they had been kidnapped from Terra nearly ten years ago. They were stuck with the Ravagers, even though they were working to get a ship and fly away from the Ravagers. Still, they’d make it out one of these days and explore the galaxy.

“What’s she mean by ‘taste Terran’?” Eve asked after Mary stalked out of the room.

“If we don’t do as she says, she’ll kill us and feed us to the crew for dinner,” Lily explained. “Probably in a stew. It’s easier to hide whatever meat is in there that day. Everyone on the Refuge could eat us and then realize afterwards we weren’t there.”

Eve wrinkled her nose. “I don’t eat meat.”

“Then we can count on you not eating us,” Zari nodded. “Now let’s just finish this inventory so we don’t have to stay in the same room for much longer.”

~~~

“You’re really trusting us to run our own job?”

Mary nodded. “You’re old enough, Zari. You can fly a ship, hack any system, and you and Lily are a good team. I trust you to do this without getting yourself killed.”

Zari nodded eagerly. This was their chance to finally escape the Ravagers. Lily was looking over at her, not saying a peep but no doubt having the same thoughts run through her mind.

“I’m still sending you with two other Ravagers,” Mary continued. “Back-up. I don’t want to lose my best thieves.”

Zari felt her heart sink a little. They wanted a clean escape. She and Lily could fight, but they didn’t want to get freedom that way. Maybe the Ravagers weren’t the best people morally, but they had been family for the last thirteen years.

“Can Eve come?” Lily asked.

If they got Eve to come, then that could help. They were on better terms with her now. She also didn’t mind getting her hands dirty if it came to it.

Mary shook her head. “I’m still teaching that girl how to fly. She’s staying around. So what are you thinking of taking?”

“We need to take a moment to do some research on what we can take,” Lily spoke up. “Right, Zari?”

“Right. Thank you for this opportunity. We’ll get back to you on what we’ll take.”

The two left the cockpit and headed to their room.

“We’re so close,” Lily sighed. “If Mary didn’t have us being supervised still, we could make our break.”

“I know,” Zari nodded, brushing loose strands of her hair back. She’d let Lily cut it short this time. When she grew it out long, she was going to keep it that way again. “How much do we have right now?”

Lily opened Zari’s old backpack where they were keeping the credits. “Probably enough for an engine and some controls.”

Zari pursued her lips. Still a long way to go. “We just need to keep saving up.”

“Yeah. Do you think Mary will pick which ship we can use?”

“If we can, we have to pick the Waverider. That’s the best one.”

~~~

              Their first solo theft was a success. Mary even let them keep a share of the profits of the refined metal they stole from an Almeracian ship. She started trusting them to run more operations on their own for the Ravagers. Unfortunately, they were always supervised by at least two Ravagers that were supposed to serve as ‘muscle’. Zari just saw them as glorified babysitters.

              Years kept on passing for the two girls. Even though more of their lives had been lived in space than on Terra, their home planet was not forgotten by Zari nor Lily. They still held onto their traditions or what they remembered of them, celebrating holidays and birthdays according to their Terran calendar. Everything from Zari’s backpack was around the room they shared, remnants of their culture reminding them where they came from. But they celebrated other festivals on different planets that held significance to their lives now. Space was as much as home as Terra had been.

              Zari wondered about her family back there. At this point, Behrad was older than she had been when the Ravagers picked her and Lily up. Did her parents think she’d run away from home or that someone had taken her and Lily? Did they still remember her at all? And what about Lily’s mother? What became of her- losing her husband and daughter on the same day?

“Zari?” Lily peeked her head up from the floor. “Hey, Zari?”

Zari looked down at Lily’s grease-streaked face. “Huh?”

“I asked if you’d pass me the wrench. The little one?”

Zari found what she was looking for and handed it over. “Do you ever wonder about your mom?”

Lily stared stonily before shifting her eyes down and ducking beneath the floorboards to use the wrench. “Sometimes. I don’t like to.”

“How come?”

“Because the last thing I said to her was that I hated her. I wish I could have done something different that day.”

Zari thought back to how eager she’d been to leave the house to be with her friend and not stay around her brother. “I do too.”

~~~

Zari sat upside down on the bench, tapping her foot against the wall. Lily was pacing.

“Mary isn’t going to be happy with us,” her friend finally stated.

“You think?” Zari asked, picking at the hole in the pocket of her pants. “Here I thought she’d be pleased we got arrested!”

“It wasn’t just because of me.”

“Okay, Lily. But you’re not totally innocent.”

“Because the Infernian fled! He tried to drug us!”

“So you punched him?”

“Because he was trying it on another girl. When I stopped him, he punched me first! And then you joined in.”

“I’d say sorry, but I wouldn’t be sincere about it,” Zari admitted, examining the burns across her knuckles. “He was disgusting to Eve. I would do it again. But at least she made it out.”

Lily finally took a seat next to her. About time, since she’d been pacing for at least twenty minutes. “Do you think she told Mary?”

“Stein, Tarazi!” a guard came in with a key.

“Actually, she’s Star Lady and I’m Cosmonaut,” Lily piped up with a grin.

The guard rolled his eyes and unlocked their cell. “You’re free to go.”

Zari swung her legs down so she could stand upright. “Say what now?”

“Nova Corp took a look at it, and they’re after the guy now,” the guard told them. “But you’re still in our systems. Next offense and your stay here will be longer.”

“Thank you,” Zari smiled as she exited the cell with Lily. “We wouldn’t dream of causing any more trouble.”

Lily raised an eyebrow, but waited until they were outside before saying more. “We wouldn’t dream of causing any more trouble?”

“I might have thought the rest to myself. We wouldn’t dream of causing any more trouble and then get caught by the Nova Corp.”

“Good idea on not saying the rest. Now let’s go find Mary and make up a reason for why we didn’t make it back last night.”

~~~

“Tarazi!”

Zari quickly stowed the credits she’d been counting under her bunk and ran to the door, meeting Mary just in time. “Hey there.”

“I heard you didn’t bring in anything on the last assignment.”

“It’s true,” Zari crossed her arms, staring Mary down. “I gave it away.”

“You did what? I know I’ve taught you better than that. We’re Ravagers-”

“There were kids,” Zari’s voice broke. “They had children in captivity. Apparently, they were planning to sell them off to the high and mighty of the galaxy as servants. More like slaves. So I backed out of taking the haul for us. Eve, Lily, and I set the kids free. We gave them the credits we were taking and got them to ships. We left a beacon for Nova Corp to find them and get them home.”

Mary tilted her head. “So your plan that took a week just got thrown to the wind because of some children.”

“I won’t ignore a crying child.”

Mary was silent for the longest moment before nodding. “Did the children get picked up by Nova Corp?”

Zari nodded.

“Good. But you’re going to have to make up for those lost credits.”

“And I will.”

Mary walked off and Zari exhaled, shutting the door.

Lily sat up from her bed. “Are we getting closer to our own ship?”

“More than halfway there. But we might have to lose some of it to make up for giving the kids the credits.”

“That’s okay. The universe might have taken this round financially, but we win morally.”

Zari smiled to herself. “I hacked into the Nova Corp when we got back. They found the kids’ families or ones that will take the orphans. We did a good thing.”

~~~

“Well then, Star Queen and Cosmos again?”

“Star-Lady,” Zari grumbled as she and Lily sat in front of the desk of the Nova Corp officer.

“And it’s Cosmonaut,” Lily mumbled, trying to move her hands up to wipe the blood from her cheek.

“Eh, you’re still officially Tarazi and Stein in here. So what was it this time?”

“Mine,” Lily raised a hand. “My date was not who she said she was.”

“And I had to help her out. So I followed her to where they were holding her and set her free. Yes, there was some fighting, but we didn’t know there was flammable material.”

“And no one died. That’s important.”

Zari nodded. “She’s right, no one did die. Just a few minor burns.”

The officer groaned. “This is the third time I’ve seen you this cycle.”

“Did you miss us?”

“No. You’re about to lose a bunch of credits for bail.”

Zari’s shoulders slumped. They had to get better at dealing with their money.

~~~

              The Dominators had invaded Terra. It was buzzing all across the galaxy. Zari didn’t think it was a coincidence that she grounded the Refuge when they first got the reports. Someone had managed to get footage of what was happening on the planet. Lily and Zari watched together, wondering about their families again.

              But there were people fighting back. Mostly a bunch of people in colorful costumes. A beautiful woman with dark hair with a hammer used lightning to fight back. A robot flew around sending energy blasts out while another with pale skin and white hair frozen them solid on the streets. Two archers fought from above and on the ground. The most surprising to both of them was a woman dressed like Captain America, who Zari remembered hearing about in a book when she was in school.

              Then it all ended. The Dominators all collapsed dead on the streets. Their hive had been hit and severed their links, rendering every single one lifeless. A whole species gone in an instant. Even if they had been warriors used for muscle, it still chilled Zari. If something ever happened to Terra and everyone died, it would truly be them against the universe.

“It’s still there though,” Lily said that night. “Terra. We can go back one day.”

“One day,” Zari agreed.

They just needed more credits.

~~~

              The banner was silver and blue, rippling in the wind in front of the museum. Zari stopped and looked up at it. When she and Lily had been younger, Mary or someone else had taken them to museums on other planets. Part of it was teaching observation with some light pickpocketing, but it also served an education purpose. As a result, Zari knew about most of the habitable planets along with some dead ones. She had never heard of Morag before, but what was the harm in asking about it.

“Hey,” she greeted someone who looked official when she walked in. “You’ve got a banner out about an exhibit on Morag. What’s that?”

The alien smiled, her three eyes focusing on Zari. “Most people haven’t. It was once home to an advanced civilization before global warming wiped the whole planet out thousands of years ago. The only people who really know about it are archaeologists. With the artifacts we’ve found, we figure we can teach people about the influences they gave to the galaxy as well as a warning about the fragility of the environment.”

“Artifacts?” Zari asked.

“Mostly tools, a few books, and remnants of a temple. We sent a team to search for the Orb, but the water levels were too high. Now we’re trying to raise money for a recovery of it since the water levels lowered.”

“What’s the Orb?”

“No one knows,” the alien smiled dreamily. “From what we’ve recovered, it was an object of great power. Too much power, according to some texts. The inhabitants of Morag built a temple to guard it from those who might try and steal it for their own selfish purposes. After the planet flooded, the temple became inaccessible with the increased water levels.”

Zari frowned. “I thought you said the water levels were lower and you could recover it.”

“The seas lower every couple hundred years. This might be our only chance in my lifetime to retrieve it if we get enough funds. If we do, people will come from all across the galaxy for it.”

“So it’s a pretty big deal?”

“Extremely.”

              Zari thanked her and headed out of the museum. If this Orb could bring people across galaxies to see it, then it had to be worth a lot. She and Lily could get it, sell it off for money or give it to the museum for a reward. But they would definitely get a lot of money out of it. It would likely be enough to buy their own ship and leave the Ravagers. They could do everything they planned, including Terra.

She set out to find Lily, thankfully finding her coming out of their favorite fence’s office. “Hey!”

“Hey, yourself!” Lily laughed. “Guess who just got us another hundred credits.”

“You didn’t sell Beebo, did you.”

Lily put a hand to her chest in mock offense. “I wouldn’t dare!”

“Good, because I’ve got an idea of a new job.”

[youarejesting]

Femme: 49

[Masterlist] Pairing: BTS - OT7 x Reader, GDragon x Bigbang, Erik Nam, Hyuna x Dawn, Black Pink x Female oc, TXT x robot oc, Got7 x Female oc, IU. Rating: Mature themes mentioned but not really explored. Length: 2.6k Announcement: Wow so much has been going on I cried three times today my eyes are swollen haha. My kitten went to be vaccinated microchipped and neutered so I am emotional. My Fur-baby I cried the moment I had to leave and when I got him back. Beta: @lpayne612​  Warnings: Struggle to get pregnant out lined by red dividers as I know this can hit home to some, Implied smut, a rough patch in the relationship, angst. 

You were almost thirty. You were getting comfortable in your busy life, and your husbands made sure to help with everything everyday. “Children come here!” you called, they all headed over at varying speeds. You handed each their bags, kissing their heads. Right at the back of the line was two and a half year old Yubi with her new leg braces with her favorite cartoons on them. 

Yubi finally was ready for kindy - she was slower than kids her age but she got things done properly, in her own time. It was all about knowing her limits and she loved the kids and everything about her daycare. 

You were approached one day at work by a young girl named Lee Ji-Eun, she was a sweet young lady with a wristband on, signifying she was a child of a femme. She looked around the shop and dropped in a resume, and you listened to what she had to say. Hiring her on the spot. 

Ji-Eun was a diligent hard, worker - she liked to hum and sing while working which was refreshing. You began teaching her all the powerful life lessons you had learned from your mentor, Moon In-shik, and from being Eric’s mentor. 

It was a really refreshing thing that helped you develop some perspective on life: what was important versus what we think is important. 

Stepping into the house, you helped Seokjin with dinner and set the table. The children had entered from the backyard where they had been watering the garden. 

“Mirae, did you feed your brother dirt?”

“No, daddy eoky,” Mirae smiled up at Seokjin hiding her dirt-covered hands behind her back. 

“Hoowayway,” Hobi smiled softly at his son, “are you hungry?”

“Daddy bi,” Huimang gave a dirt-covered cheeky grin, Taehyung and 

Jimin cackled. 

“My poor boy are they picking on you?” Hoseok carried his son to the bathroom in the hopes of washing the dirt out of his teeth.

“Mimi,” you knelt down with an impassive look trying to not laugh at the situation, “did you feed Huimang some dirt?”

“No, Ama.”

“Baby, tell mummy it’s okay, you aren’t in trouble.” You softly gave her a hug “Did he eat the dirt?”

“Yes, Ama,” she pouted and you gave her a big smile.

“Thank you baby for being honest and not lying to mummy. Mummy is so proud, but perhaps next time we don’t feed our brother dirt, it’s not good for people to eat dirt, it’s yucky.”

“Yes Ama, I am sowwy.”

“Come on it’s time for dinner, go race to the bathroom and Daddy Bi will help you wash your hands. Make sure you say sorry to Hui okay baby?” You smiled giving her two big kisses on her cheeks.

“Mum, I got an invitation to a birthday party this weekend, is that okay?” Kyungju said shuffling closer and handing over the birthday invitation.

“Let me see,” you smiled, taking the letter and reading the details. “Oh my boy, you can go, of course who do you want to take you?”

“I want dad to take me, but he might say no.”

“What am I saying no to?” Yoongi took the letter and smiled fondly at the old invitation style. “Have you got your friend a present yet?”

“Not yet,” he seemed to realize and Yoongi laughed at his son’s reaction.

“Tomorrow after school we can go and pick out a present, and I will take you to the party on Saturday.”

The two walked to the large dining room table and you sighed, a big family was exhausting but it filled your heart with undeniable happiness to watch all the children grow up. A small hand tugged on your sleeve, Yubi had come to check on you.

Sweeping her into your arms you walked her to her booster chair and sat down ready for all the drama of a big family dinner. “Jae Eun, don’t put peas on your brother’s plate.”

“So we have been talking as a family,” Namjoon smiled and you raised an eyebrow looking down the other end of the table with a curious expression.

“As a family without me?” you snickered. 

“Yes well, it was a topic we wanted to discuss before bringing it up to you.” 

“Okay, I am all ears,” you picked up some broccoli and hid it under a piece of meat - trying to convince Yubi to eat her vegetables. She cleverly saw and whined until it was taken away. She was pretty clever for a two and a half-year-old.

You looked around the table watching everyone eat and scooped up some rice while waiting for this news. “We would like to have one last child,” Hoseok smiled brightly. Gasping in shock had you inhaling grains of rice into your trachea. Yoongi lazily raised his hand and patted your back while Jungkook handed you a large glass of water.

The feeling of disbelief filled you for a brief moment - you had in fact told Jimin and Seokjin that you would allow them the joys of having a baby. Even then it seemed outrageous to add any more to the family. You looked around remembering how sad and lonely you had felt when you had first moved into the house and had all these empty rooms and big dreams. You looked at the table spotting the exact space another little one could slip into and the joy and confidence it would bring to your hesitant Jimin.

“Okay, I think another child would be perfect,” unable to prevent yourself from smiling, “but if we do this we should go to a fertility clinic.”

“Of course, wait why are we going to a fertility clinic?” Jimin looked at you confused, you could see the concern in his eyes.

“To make sure everything is working fine for one more baby.”

Some of the children were excited for another sister or brother, and others weren’t bothered. Kyungju was weirdly excited - saying he liked having a big family and being the big brother. Jeongsan was a little worried about having another crying baby in the house again but, you assured him he didn’t have to worry and the parents would deal with the baby.

The clinic was cold. You had to sit in a paper gown while you had ultrasounds, pap smears, and blood tests. All to check your fertility levels, hoping for some positive results that would indicate you would be able to fall pregnant reasonably quickly.

The doctor sat you down after the check-up. “Now everything looks good, but we will have to wait for the results to know for sure what we’re dealing with,” the doctor said with a smile. “Now judging just by average standards, when you turn thirty the success rate is eighty-six percent for couples who try for a whole year.”

You felt a sense of dread. What if this didn’t work out and Jimin never had the chance of conceiving a child of his own? You weren’t really listening to the doctor who was currently prattling on about complication rates and more, you just sat thinking over what you would do if this didn’t happen.

Jimin was driving the van back to the apartment and you told him to pull over. “Is something wrong?”

“What do we do if this doesn’t work?’

“Hey don’t stress, the doctor said the more you worry the harder it is to get pregnant.”

“Just tell me Jimin, what will you do?” you asked, biting your lip.

“If it was meant to be, it will happen,” Jimin touched your cheek, kissing you gently. “It’s not like I’m planning to just up and leave you if we don’t have a baby the first time.”

Jimin’s eyes widened at the way you visibly relaxed body slumping into the seat.

“That’s what you were worried about? That I would leave you, the love of my life, and my family because I couldn’t have my own child? That I would leave all my other children whom I love dearly because the same genetics don’t run through our veins?” He looked upset and sighed “I’m not going anywhere”

It was a fun few months where you and Jimin spent a few weeks together and made love and generally shared some romantic moments with one another. You were trying and enjoying yourselves - until the third negative result from the fertility clinic. Things then became stressful between you and being intimate was less about love and more like a chore for the two of you.

You pulled out the last ovulation tester from your handbag telling yourself that you would have to purchase some more. The two lines mocking you as if they were the two lines you wanted, but they weren’t. One day you would see them on the pregnancy stick and you would make Jimin happy.

“Jimin, it’s time,” you said looking at your phone.

“I don’t want to, can you do it?” he whined and you sighed the two of you finished everything quickly and you laid there and he left to shower. You didn’t want to but you felt like crying.

The days passed and it felt like you might have done it, your back and breasts were aching you just knew this had to be it. You were going to the clinic it was the day your period was supposed to arrive and when you got there, you felt like you needed to pee and as you wiped, you wept. Another failure, it was your period and you hadn’t fallen pregnant again. You walked out dragging Jimin not bothering with your appointment.

The two of you were silent on the way home/ “We can try again, it will happen.”

“And what if it doesn’t, Jimin?” you asked, “When do we decide to give up? When you leave because you are sick of me!”

“Why do you keep thinking I’m going to leave? Is this what you want, me to leave? I thought you had faith in me and trusted me and after everything, we have been through!” He hissed, “You think I’m some bad guy who will just leave?”

“You act like making a baby is a chore.” You frowned, “We don’t cuddle or kiss anymore, do you even love me?” 

The car pulled over and Jimin got out, handed you the keys, and looked you in the eye. “The fact that you have to question my feelings really shows me how you see me doesn’t it, love?” the endearment was full of spite. He turned and walked away. You were sobbing standing beside the car gripping the keys and crying. Climbing into the driver’s seat you sobbed with no regard to your surroundings. 

It was almost midnight when you returned home. Hearing Yoongi’s swears, grabbing his phone to call the others to say you had returned home. “The children are all in bed, what happened?”

“I want to be alone,” you said walking away from everyone. You sat on the floor of the shower crying to yourself.

Jimin didn’t call, he didn’t come home, no one knew where he was, so Namjoon made some calls and found he was in his family home. You laid in bed distraught, feeling absolutely disgusting. You stopped getting out of bed unless it was necessary; the boys started bringing you meals so you would get some food into your body.

You couldn’t sleep deciding instead to call Jimin repeatedly only to receive his answering machine. You grabbed your coat and began heading to the front door when Jungkook stopped you. “You’re leaving, aren't you Yeobo, what about all of us? You can’t leave.”

“I don’t want you to leave, I want everything back to the way it was,” he sniffed engulfing you in a hug.

“I’m just bringing him home, Kook, I can’t live without him.” The tone of your voice was cold and empty - a testament to how you felt without Jimin. “I need to know he is okay.”

“Let me drive you, I don’t want you to get into an accident.”

“Please, I know you’re worried, but I need to do this myself. I promise you if at any point I am unfit to drive, I will pull over and call you.” You pleaded with Jungkook, “I made this mess and, I have to fix it”

“You call me the moment something feels off.”

“Yes sir,” pushing up onto your tippy toes to press a kiss to his lips, he wrapped you in his arms, squeezing tightly in hopes that nothing goes wrong. He always did have a tendency of worrying too much.

You took the van and began driving. It took six hours and you pulled into the yard watching the sunrise. You walked around the house to Jimin’s window. You knew his sleeping habits and even in winter, his window was open a crack for some fresh air. Lucky for you and the humid summer night, he had indeed slept with the window open fully, enough for you to slide into his room, removing your shoes and jacket, and tiptoeing to his bed. 

You placed the keys down on the table, sneaking into his bed, settling against him under the covers. He looked peaceful in the light of the early morning sun. You felt your heart sync with his, the only thing you could think about was him - it was like you were whole again.

“Jimin, I love you,” you whispered against his collarbone. The sense of relief so powerful you felt the tears rain, your fear and anxiety slowly expelling from your body. Jimin’s arms wrapped around you and you pressed your face deeper against his chest so as not to silence your cries.

“I love you too,” he breathed out, the sleep in his voice didn’t hide the clarity behind his words. “Jungkook called the home phone and told us you were coming. Don’t you dare drive alone at night for that long.”

“I had to, I can’t be away from you. I love you, and it hurts so much to not have you with me.” Your words shook with almost the same intensity as your body did against his.

Jimin told you to sleep and prepared you breakfast - waking you slightly later “My love, you must be hungry. The boys told me you haven’t been eating, is that right?”

“I haven’t been hungry,” you hummed and he nodded, his eyes traveling over your figure.

After breakfast he pulled you to lay back in the bed and got you to sleep, telling you he had messaged the boys and would be home after the weekend alone together. When his parents left he was all over you - his lips promising to love you until the end of time and his hands to always hold you safe from harm.

He drove you home, stopping at a few places to get some souvenirs for the children to tell them how much you love them. You stopped at the gas station to relax and refuel, and you got a strange thought. You don’t know what came over you, but you went through the gas station store and pulled out an ovulation stick from your purse. 

It had been two weeks since Jimin left, two weeks since you had your dreams crushed by your period. It wasn’t even worth calling it a period; it was so short and barely there. But otherwise your phone was saying you would be ovulating soon. You took the test and saw two strong lines. You thought about telling Jimin, but you didn’t want the disappointment again.

You couldn’t just hide it. “Okay, I will just tell him and he can decide.” You nodded grabbing for the packet when you froze seeing the words pregnancy test, and a realization struck you. You had run out of ovulation tests weeks ago.

You were pregnant.

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Femme Media 48

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[fyeahcamcountry]

Cam: The Otherside - track by track

(Apple Music)

'...“I was a total idealist,” Cam tells Apple Music. The Nashville country singer, who’s also one of the city’s most sought-after songwriters, says the five years she spent writing her sophomore album were some of the hardest of her life. “I had this Disney idea of how the world worked, and at some point that just...broke.” Tracing a string of major life changes—breaking up with her old label, inking a new contract, marrying her husband, and welcoming her first child—The Otherside reflects a dramatic shift in thinking, or her journey through disillusionment into clear-eyed realism. That evolution unlocked a new side to her sound. “My songs have always pulled from my psychology background, but I had this filter on and didn’t even know it,” she says. “Once I took that off, I could be so much more honest. I could see the world, and myself, for exactly what they were.” Read on as Cam tells us the inside story behind each song.

[[MORE]]

Redwood Tree

“I grew up in the Bay Area with a redwood tree in my backyard, and I did a lot of thinking up there. I wasn’t raised in a specific religion, but the most magical, awe-inspiring experience I can think of is being in the redwoods, feeling so small. It’s like a cathedral in that it reminds you of your place in everything. Fallen redwoods have rings that represent the thousands of years that they lived, and you’re like, ‘Oh, we’re just flies buzzing around.’ We wake up one day shocked to realize our parents are suddenly old. Like, when did my dad's beard get so white? I had watched the movie Arrival around the time we wrote this song, and I loved the idea of time not being linear. The soundtrack has these voices that go ‘Da, da, da, da,’ and we nod to that in the production. I hope time isn't linear. I hope I get more time with my parents.”

The Otherside

“Tim, or Avicii, came to Nashville a few years ago to write for one of his albums, and we were in the studio with Hillary Lindsey and Tyler Johnson. He started playing this piano melody over and over and over again, and I don't smoke cigarettes but when Hillary took a cigarette break, I was like, ‘I'm going, too.’ It was just so intense. He was really stuck on this thing. While we're out on the back porch, she and I came up with an idea for the chorus, and he loved it. But he fiddled with it for hours. He was thinking about cadence, about how we speak, about code-mapping it onto a melody, and about the actual phonetics. Tim never wound up releasing that song, so I was like, ‘Ooh, maybe that means I can.’ Even though it’s such a heavy thing not having him around for the final edits, I did feel this great responsibility to work my ass off to get it right. Because I knew that’s what he would have done.”

Classic

“On the other side of the spectrum, this is one of those songs that just magically fell into place. I went up to New York for a few sessions with Jack Antonoff at Electric Lady Studios, and it was so fun. Creatives tend to beat themselves up a lot, but Jack and I sat there jangling around on this 12-string guitar and writing a song that had this nostalgic Simon & Garfunkel ‘Cecilia’ vibe. It’s about how there are people in your life that outlast everything else—technology, fashion trends, swings in politics, whatever. Nothing's a constant in life, but a few people are. It was inspired by this moment when my husband and I were in Argentina and he found a pack of Lucky Strike cigarettes. He doesn't smoke anymore, but he goes, ‘I’ve got to smoke these because they don't make ‘em like this anymore.’ And then he looks at me and goes, ‘That's a country lyric.’”

Forgetting You

“I was writing with Lori McKenna, Tyler Johnson, and Mitch Rowland, and we’re all pals from working on various projects together. Still, I always get nervous when I go write with Lori, even though she's so humble and chill, because I’m like, ‘Don't embarrass yourself in front of the poet of our generation!’ Which is to say, I knew I needed to bring in something cool. I had this line, ‘I'm getting older/But you never change.’ The song is about holding on to the concept of someone from the past, and measuring everyone up to them even though it’s no longer real. That's why you keep moving forward but they never seem to age.”

Like a Movie

“Before we were married and had a kid, I’d come home from tour and my husband and I would have this tiny bit of quality time together. And the truth is, we’d usually get high and go to Walmart. One day, we were unloading all our groceries and I was like, ‘How did you know it was me? How did you know not to settle for someone earlier or wait for someone else?’ And he just smiled and said, ‘Because when I met you, it was like a movie.’ Now, I can remember when we met. I was a mess. It did not look like a movie. But it was so, so sweet. I wrote with the love junkies—Lori McKenna, Liz Rose, and Hillary Lindsey—and the strings are David Campbell, who’s actually Beck’s dad. Jeff Bhasker wanted a ’50s movie soundtrack vibe with strings that swelled like an orchestra, and David immediately got it. Apple Music did a teaser video for the album, and if you watch it, there should be video footage from that string session.”

Changes

“I usually write all my own music, but this is the first of a couple songs on this album that I didn’t. I guess I feel like it's cheating. I'm supposed to be digging all this personal stuff up and figuring myself out, so taking someone else’s song feels like a shortcut. But I trust Harry [Styles]’s writing. I feel like he tries so hard to be himself in his music, and he doesn't take it lightly. That pursuit resonates with me. The demo had Lori McKenna singing with Harry on background vocals and his whistle, which is still in the track. It was amazing to hear a song that someone else wrote that clicked so much with me personally. It’s about feeling like you’ve outgrown where you're from, and you don't really want to admit that. It’s kind of an uncomfortable thing to say, but I love when things are uncomfortable. That means it’s important.”

Till There's Nothing Left

“This song has steamy sexual energy... Like, ‘I'm giving you my whole heart but also my body and a quickie in the back seat.’ While we were recording my vocals, I was trying to sit back and make it cool and sexy, and I realized I was blushing. I was blushing because society tells us that sexuality is a private thing. If you want to be respected as a woman, if you want to be considered intelligent, you can’t be sexual. But then I was reminded of my grandmother who was raised Baptist on a farm in Saskatchewan. She's the one who gave me the sex talk, unbeknownst to my mother. She said, ‘Sex is like a milkshake. Once you have it, you're always going to want it.’ She was comfortable with her sexuality without it being the main thing about her. So I thought, ‘If a woman born in the 1930s on a farm in Canada can own it, I can own it.”

What Goodbye Means

“A friend of mine was going through a divorce. It was pretty ugly, but he was being so kind. I asked him, ‘How are you being so nice right now? I don't get it.’ And he said, ‘Because she might change her mind.’ I still get goosebumps thinking about it. We've all been there, not quite ready to accept the reality of something, and that's okay. You've got to take it at the rate you can take it. This song has such a classic melody. It’s warm. For some reason it feels like a summer evening in New Mexico to me.”

Diane

“This song is a response to Dolly Parton’s ‘Jolene,’ and man, it really seems to resonate with people. Crowds sing it back to me in this emotional, over-the-top, theatrical way. I suppose most people have had infidelity affect their life one way or another, but it’s hard to watch people you care about go through it. There's so much shame around it that you don't get to talk about what you need or how to heal. And you almost never get to hear the other party’s side. So ‘Diane’ is my moment to role-play, I guess. I'm the other woman and I slept with your husband and I didn't know he was married, but you’ve got to know the truth. Parton's lyrics to the other woman include the word ‘please,’ and that just killed me. She's so humble and human, asking someone to please not take the love of her life away. Immediately, I was like, ‘That's the narrative. That's what is so often left unsaid.’”

Happier for You

“This is the other song that I didn't write, and it’s from Sam Smith and Tyler [Johnson]. Sam and I have a great relationship because I helped write the song ‘Palace’ for their album and then they brought me out on tour. We have a lot of trust. When Lindsay [Marias, Cam’s manager] and I first heard this demo and Sam came in singing, our jaws dropped. The emotion was so raw and honest and real. I love the juxtaposition of saying something very loud and publicly—to the point where it almost feels proud—but actually it’s something that makes you want to curl up in a ball.”

Girl Like Me

“This is the author's note at the end of the book. Natalie Hemby had come over and started playing a verse on the piano, and I was like, ‘Oh god, that is so sad.’ And she's like, ‘It's your story. This is your comeback story.’ It’s funny how sometimes you can’t recognize your own self. Writing this song was uncomfortable but in the best way, trying to pull lyrics out in the chorus (‘They’re going to give up on you/You're going to give up on them’). You can’t just become jaded. You have to push through. It’s a gift to be able to see life for what it is, and to see yourself for who you are. I think anyone who has been through that phase of disillusionment will think, ‘Oh, yeah, tough. But this side is better.’”

[frickfracksnatchisback]

Fear of Infection (Monster AU)

So I love @teenytinyhatkid‘s Monster AU to death (haha get it???) and this idea for a shortish story would not leave me alone (and this took way too pecking long to write asdfjks). Premise is that Hat Kid is acting strange in the monster house which leads to almost everybody freaking out and investigating. And it turns out that Hat Kid isn’t all what she seems...

Warning! Bloody (and possibly gory) descriptions of animal corpses. No human gore though, so you’re safe there!  Enjoy the angst!

***

It was like any other normal day outside.  The sun was shining brightly, the spring flowers were all in bloom, and the air was filled with chirping birds. A small hatted child was running in the backyard of a small house, laughing as she ran through the freshly cut grass. Another child came close behind her, they were both playing a fun game of tag. As the two children laughed and played in the backyard of their home, one particularly tall adult watched over them. He kept a look out, making sure that the two young girls wouldn’t get into any trouble. As he watched, another adult was planting in the garden not too far away. The sun was shining down on her straw hat as she planted the herbs and vegetables. Yes, all was perfectly normal in this household. The werewolf pup playing chase with the human child, the vampire keeping watch over them, and the witch gardening…

Well, perhaps “normal” wasn’t the right term.

“Thanks for agreeing to watch over them, dearie. You’re being a big help!” CC said happily as she dug up another hole in the small garden with her trowel. Snatcher grunted in reply, steadily watching the girls like a hawk. He shifted his umbrella to get more cover himself from the sunlight. He really had no need to, he was pretty much shaded head to toe already. Not to mention he was sitting on the porch, which had a big enough awning to give him more than enough protection. But in Snatcher’s opinion, you could never be too careful when you’re a vampire. Especially when the sunlight was as strong as it was today.

“I hope it’s not too much trouble for you. I’d do it myself if I could, but I don’t have eyes in the back of my head.” CC joked as she planted a cucumber plant into the ground. Snatcher chuckled lightly.

“Who knows? You could make a spell or a potion that could do that.” he joked back, laughing as CC playfully threw one of her spare gardening gloves at him.

“You’re quite the rascal when you want to be.” she giggled, going back to her gardening.

“Hey, would I be me if I wasn’t?” Snatcher grinned, making CC giggle even more. He quickly went back to watching the two girls. It really wasn’t that much of a bother to be honest. Yes, she did wake him up much earlier than he was used to being up. Yes, it was annoyingly sunny out. And yes, he could be getting some lawyer work done or go out to look for a meal. But hey, CC bribed him with saying she would get him some blood bags. And it wasn’t too hard of a job to be honest, so how could he turn that down?

He brought his attention back to the two girls. It looked like they were taking a break from all the fun and games for now. Hat Kid was calmly sitting in the shade of a tree while Mu was...digging. Snatcher groaned, not again.

“Hey CC, the little gremlin is making a mess again.” he told CC. She stopped what she was doing and sighed.

“Please don’t call her that.” she said politely and turned around towards the pup. “Sweetie, what have I told you about digging holes in the backyard?” she called back. The little werewolf pup look up, her paws covered in dirt.

“I think I found a rabbit den!” she said as she grinned mischievously, her tail wagging behind her. She ignored CC and went back to digging. CC just shook her head and went back to what she was doing. Snatcher also shook his head, but more so at CC’s actions. When would she ever start being more assertive with that brat?

“You alright kiddo?” He yelled across to Hat Kid, who seemed to be staring off into space. She didn’t reply, her face had an odd expression. “Kiddo? I said, are you alright?” he yelled again. This time she snapped out of her haze and nodded back.

“Yeah! Just tired!” she called back and went to staring at the ground. It looked like she was picking up rocks or looking for bugs. From where Snatcher was sitting, it was kind of hard for him to tell.

“Is it just me, or has the kid gotten bigger?” Snatcher asked CC. She simply nodded as she was working.

“Wouldn’t be too unlikely dear. She’s been getting these awful growing pains lately. I know her appetite has certainly gotten bigger!” CC said, patting the soil firmly. Snatcher perked up from where he was sitting.

“Growing pains?” he asked, a bit worryingly. He hadn’t really been kept up to date with all the happenings in the house. He was busy with more important things after all. Things either relating to work, paying the bills, or… Well, CC didn’t know about all the hunting trips with Conductor. And he planned to keep it that way. Still, he definitely hadn’t been checking on the kid recently. That raised a few concerns from him.

“Oh yes, poor dear. She’s said her head has been hurting a lot lately, along with her waist.” CC explained. She grabbed a potion from the belt she was wearing. She poured its contents into the roots of the plant. As always, she couldn’t do a task without some kind of magic involved.

“Her head? You sure she isn’t coming down with something?” he asked, very confused. CC looked up at him and shrugged.

“I don’t think she’s sick, she wouldn’t be eating if she was. She just has some body aches here and there, other than that she’s fine.” She said as she quickly went back to gardening. Snatcher could tell she was worried though. She wasn’t very good at hiding her emotions. And to be honest? He was worried about the kid too. She might have injured herself, that was always a possibility. But then again… He looked back at the kid. She was happily playing with rocks and twigs she had managed to find on the ground, as if they were dolls. Seeing this made him shrug his worries away.

Eh, it was probably nothing too serious.

“You should really she the way she eats nowadays.” CC spoke up, tearing away Snatcher’s concentration once again. “She really enjoyed the beef stew we had a couples day ago! She even asked for thirds!” she joked, laughing to herself as she dug another hole in the ground. “If she keeps it up, she outgrow all of her old clothes. She’s already lost a few...huh?” she said, her trowel hitting something in the dirt.

“What? What did you find?” Snatcher asked, very curious.

“Hold on, I’m trying to find that out.” She said, digging up the ground faster. She saw something and quickly grabbed it. She trying pulling it out of the ground, tugging on whatever she had a hole of. She let out a surprise yelp as she finally pull it out, nearly knocking herself back. She started at what was in her hand, it was a piece of fabric. A shirt to be more precise. She looked it over with a puzzled expression. Her eyes widened, as she quickly tried to dig up the earth with her own hands. And underneath the dirt was a huge pile of dirt-covered clothes.

“Aren’t those the kid’s?” Snatcher asked, recognizing a few of the shirts and outfits.

“Yes...yes they are.” CC grumbled under her breath. Snatcher looked back at her, alarmed. Uh oh, now she was going to get assertive. There was only one person who was guilty of this, and they where about to get one heck of a lecture. She quickly stood up and yelled behind her.

“MU!”

The werewolf pup stopped digging again, the hole being much larger than it was before. She bounded over towards CC on all fours, her tail wagging back and forth. Once she got up to CC’s feet, she stood back on two legs.

“Ooo! Did you find a gopher? Can I eat it?” Mu smiled, her tail still wagging happily behind her. Her face dropped once she saw the face that CC was giving her though. It was the kind of face you never wanted to see as a child. The kind of face that said You’re in big trouble young lady. Her tail drooped along with her puppy ears.

“Would you care to explain why I found this buried in the garden?” she said sternly, holding up the ruined shirt. Mu’s face turned from ashamed to confused once she saw the shirt.

“What? I didn’t bury that!” she said, holding up her hands. But CC was not amused.

“So now you’re lying to me?” she said as she crossed her arms.

“Wha- No! I swear I didn’t bury it!” Mu begged.

“Well, who else could’ve buried it then?” CC asked her. Mu opened her mouth, but nothing came out. She thought for a minute, thinking about her answer carefully.

“A raccoon?” she said, laughing nervously as CC glared over her.

“That doesn’t explain why they’re covered in dried blood.” Snatcher spoke up from behind them. He had made his was over to the hole, picking up one of the dirty clothes and sniffing it. “Jeez kid, did you kill something in this?” he asked, turning his nose away from the smell.

“No! Because I didn’t do it!” Mu yelled.

“I think that’s enough time outside today.” CC sighed, shaking her head. “Come on. If you won’t admit you did it you’re staying in your room until you tell the truth.” she said, motioning for Mu to go back in the house.

“Nuh uh! I’m making a break for it!” Mu panicked, trying to run away as fast as she could. CC saw it coming though, and was quick to catch her. She lifted her up in her arms, keeping a tight hold on her. “Let me go! I’m innocent!” Mu grumbled, squirming and struggling to get away.

“May I give a bit of advice? Maybe next time you shouldn’t say you’re going to run away, especially if you’re guilty as charged.” Snatcher joked, Mu growling at him.

“Don’t give her ideas.” CC fussed at him, turning to head for the door. “Be a dear and tell her to come inside too, won’t you?” she asked him, somehow keeping her hold on the struggling pup as she pointed towards Hat Kid.

“Sure thing.” Snatcher said, snickering at Mu shouting for freedom. He went over to Hat Kid with his umbrella while CC went in the opposite direction.

“Help! I’ve been wrongly accused!” Mu shouted, the door slamming shut on her words. Snatcher chuckled to himself. When would that brat ever learn? And speaking of brat… “Hey kiddo, it’s time to go back inside.” he called to her. She looked up from her piles of sticks and pebbles.

“Aww…” she whined, getting up off the ground anyways.

“What? I thought you said you were tired!” Snatcher said, grinning wide. Hat Kid groaned at him and rolled her eyes. “Hurry up. The sooner we get out of this cursed sunlight, the better.” he said, walking faster.

“I think it’s nice!” Hat Kid said as she tried to keep up with him. “The sun is really warm and it makes me feel cozy!” she beamed at him, skipping alongside him. He scoffed and shook his head.

“Easy for you to say, kiddo! You don’t have to worry about burning up. Literally.” he said, making Hat Kid mumble awkwardly. As they made it to the back of the house, he put up his umbrella and held the door open for her. “After you, I insist!” he said, bowing in a ridiculous gesture.

“Thank you!” she giggled as she stepped inside.

“Don’t mention it.” he said as he followed after her, letting the door close behind him. Hat Kid rushed to the living room as he was putting his umbrella in the umbrella stand. Once he was done he decided to go in that same room.  As he walked in he saw the kid sitting on the couch, watching TV. “Mind if I join you?” he asked as he went up to her. She nodded, patting the seat next to her. He smiled and sat right down. He figured he could use a bit of relaxing time after being out in the sun all day. They both stayed there for a couple hours. Hat Kid watching her cartoons and Snatcher slowly starting to fall asleep next to her.

But he quickly woke up as his stomach growled loudly. Hat Kid didn’t seem to notice him, as she was transfixed by the TV. He rubbed his stomach, guess he was hungrier than he thought. He grumbled, CC was still too busy with the little monster to give him his blood bags. Looks like he was going to have to look for a meal, as much as he didn’t want to. But hey, nothing a little hunting trip couldn’t fix. And the sun was just beginning to set, which was perfect timing for him.

“I’m going out.” he told Hat Kid, pushing himself off the couch. “If CC asks where I’ve gone, just tell her I went shopping or something.” he said, straightening the cuffs of his shirt.

“Are you going hunting again?” she asked, he was surprise that she figured him out so quickly.

“Wow kid, read my mind like an open book.” he grinned. “Yes, I’m going hunting. I just need a quick bite to eat, that’s all.” he said, heading towards the hallways that lead to the front door.

“Can I come with you?” Hat kid asked again.

“What? No, you can’t come with me.” Snatcher told her, standing in the doorway. “I mean, unless you want to eat raw deer.” he joked. But Hat Kid didn’t laugh. She just rubbed the top of her head and pouted.

“But I’m hungry...” she mumbled quietly.

“What was that?” Snatcher asked, he didn’t quite hear her.

“Nothing!” she said quickly. He looked at her quizzically, she was acting rather strange.

“Okay then...” he said, unsure of what she had said. But he didn’t dwell on it further, he was too hungry to care. “I’ll be back in a little bit. Smell ya later!” he called back. Hat Kid smiled back at him, still rubbing her head for some reason. He paid little mind to it though, as he went down the hall to the front door. But as he opened the door his conscious told that something wasn’t right. He hesitated before going out the door. Was she going to be okay?

He shook the thought off, telling himself that he was worrying over nothing. The kid just had some growing pains, that’s all. And with that, he went outside and closed the door, leaving his worries behind him.

***

The entrance door creaked as Snatcher sneaked back into the house. He was visibly scowling, grumbling under his breath. His hunting trip had lasted longer than he thought it would, and it had all been a huge waste of time. And he didn’t managed to catch anything in the forest, which left him in a rather bad mood. Whatever, he was going to get those blood bags from CC soon. Maybe he could hold it off until then.

He silently closed the door behind him. The house was quiet, everyone was probably already in bed. Typical, since the sun had set the moment he walked in.  But he was used to that, he had come home later before. He tip-toed through the hallway, careful not to wake the kid up. That wouldn’t end well for him. Or worse, CC could be-

“Snatcher? Is that you dear?”

Awake...

He froze in his steps once he heard her voice from the living room.. Peck he thought to himself.  He held his breath and push himself against the wall. Maybe she just thought he heard him. And if he stayed quiet enough, maybe he could get out of-

“Snatcher, I know you’re there.”

Nope, she definitely heard him. He sighed in defeat and made his way over to the living room entrance. He peeked in, not wanting to walk in just yet. CC was sitting on the couch near the TV, drinking tea. She didn’t look too angry, so that was a plus. But she had an expression on her face that he couldn’t quite read. He quietly stepped into the room, she kept silent. There was tension in the air, which meant something was definitely up. CC put her empty cup down on a nearby table and looked back at him.

“We need to have a talk.” She said, as if she was his mother. Snatcher shifted uncomfortably. Oh boy he thought. This is going to be a long night.

“Listen, whatever it was I didn’t do it.” he said in his own defense.

“This isn’t really a time for jokes, sweetie.”

“I wasn’t trying to make a joke.”

“Ye sure about that? Because that sounded an awful lot like a joke to me, laddie.”

Snatcher whipped around towards the new voice. It belonged to the very last person he wanted to see tonight, Conductor. He was sitting in the armchair not too far away from CC, gripping a bottle and glass of what Snatcher assumed to be alcohol. He was staring back at him accusingly, his face cold and stern. Great, looks like he was going to get two lectures. And from the grumpy old man no less. Just perfect.

“What is he doing here?” Snatcher asked, annoyed as he pointed to Conductor sitting in the chair. Just seeing him gave him a massive headache. Peck, being in the near proximity of him was like a massive headache all by itself.

“Oi! Ah have every right to know about what the lass is going through, ye bum!” Conductor shouted. CC shushed him, gesturing him to keep quiet. Conductor saw this and grumbled in his chair, taking a swig of his glass.

“What? She just has some growing pains, nothing more.” Snatcher said simply. Conductor sat up and glared at him, as if he had said something offensive. He turned back to CC. “It is just growing pains, right?” he asked her. She kept her head down, saying nothing for a few minutes. She bit her lip nervously before finally speaking up.

“Actually...that may not be the case.”

Snatcher was shocked at her words. “What do you mean that may not be the case?” he asked, rather miffed that no one was telling him anything.

“You may want to sit down for this.” CC said, patting the seat next to her. Snatcher hesitated for awhile before plopping down next to her.

“It’s not like I’m going to faint.” he mumbled, shifting in his spot till he was somewhat comfortable.

“Well...” CC trailed off. “Conductor didn’t take it very well-”

“Ah did just fine!” He screamed, CC was quick to shush him again. Snatcher could see that he was lying though, very badly too. His hands were shaking as he filled up his glass again. And as fast as he filled it, he chugged the alcohol down in one swift motion.

“Conductor, sweetie, please don’t make yourself sick!” CC said distressingly.

“Ah’m fine, lass. Now get on with it.” he growled, making her shrink back in her seat. She took in a deep breath, shaking a bit in fear.

“Go ahead. The quicker you get it over with, the better.” Snatcher tried to comfort her, slowly putting a hand on her shoulder. She looked back at him and gave him a weak smile.

“Thank you.” she mouthed, not wanting to disturb Conductor. “Well… the little one has being getting worse now.” she said meekly, barely speaking above a whisper.

“Okay then…” Snatcher said, trying his best to collect himself. “How bad is ‘worse’?” he asked, fidgeting with his hands nervously. He hated it when he did that, but it was all he could think to do right now. He saw that CC looked like she was about to cry. Oh no he thought to himself. This can’t be good.

“I...I think she might be...” CC was choked up, her eyes watering. He told himself wasn’t going to panic. He was going to get through this bad news. Whatever it was he could handle-

“I think she might be infected.” CC said, breaking down as she finally managed to get the words out. If Snatcher wasn’t already a vampire, his skin would have been deathly pale at this moment.

“WHAT?!” he shouted, jumping from his seat. He couldn’t believe it. No, he wouldn’t believe it. They had all been so careful with watching over the kid! So how could she have-

He stopped panicking and walked towards Conductor in an angry stride. “You better start talking old man! And fast.” he hissed, clenching his fists by his side and gritting his teeth. Conductor was caught off guard, draining his glass before he noticed that Snatcher standing right in front of him.

“Wha- YER ACCUSING ME?!” he yelled, setting his glass down and standing up so they could see eye-to-eye. Snatcher was much taller than him, but that didn’t stop the two from giving each other death glares.

“How else would she have gotten it?!” Snatcher shouted back at him.

“Ye no good, dirty peckneck! I outta strangle ye with me bare hands!” Conductor said as he tried to stand on his toes to heighten himself.

“Wait!” CC said, quickly getting up to separate the two. “We don’t even know what it is yet! Please, don’t fight!” she said as she pushed the two apart. The two looked at her, confused out of their minds.

“You don’t know what it is?” Snatcher asked.

“Lass, I thought you said it was-” Conductor started, before Snatcher put up a finger to shush him.

“Well...that’s the problem. It’s hard to tell what it is, exactly. I’ve never seen anything like this before.” CC tried to explain, and failing miserably. The three fell silent for a moment, none of them knowing what to do about the predicament.

“Okay, let’s try to think this out.” Snatcher spoke up, distancing himself from Conductor. “Has she been scratching herself lately? Because he does that often.” he said, jabbing a thumb at Conductor. Conductor retaliated by slapping his hand away. “Watch it, old man.” he threatened as he glared at Conductor.

“She has been doing that, actually.” CC muttered. The two looked back at her again, then back at each other.

“Ha! So you did bite her then?” Snatcher said, smiling thinly at Conductor.

“What?! Ah did no such thing to the wee lass!” Conductor sputtered, holding his hands up defensively.

“No, no! That’s not just it!” CC fussed.

“Well what else could it be then?!” Snatcher snapped. He wasn’t handling the pressure very well. CC looked back at him, clearly irritated.

“I should be asking you that!” CC said hotly, poking as his chest. “How am I supposed to know? You think I know everything about turning symptoms? Because I don’t!” she continued, stomping away from the two. “I’m supposed to be the one who watches over her! And I...I just can’t-” she choked out, before falling back onto the couch. She covered her face and sobbed loudly, making Snatcher feel a twang of guilt inside him. He slowly made his way over to her, hoping he’d be able to comfort her.

“Hey, listen. It’s okay, you didn’t know about this.” he sat next to her and rubbed her back.

“I’m sorry it’s just-” she tried to speak through all her blubbering. “I have no clue what’s wrong with her or what she’s turning into. I don’t know if she has wereowl symptoms or...” she trailed off.

“Or…?” Snatcher asked.

“She could be turning into a bloodsucker, laddie.” Conductor spoke up as he came closer to the two. Snatcher looked at him, his eyes glaring daggers.

“Are you insane? You think she’s turning into a vampire?” Snatcher exclaimed, the Conductor was starting to get on his last nerve.

“It’s not too unlikely, dear.” CC broke in. “She’s been shaking all over, like you when you’re...hungry.” she explained, getting Snatcher’s full attention. “And she bit her lip today, very badly. And I almost thought I saw...” she stopped before plucking up the courage to say it.

“I think she had fangs.”

Snatcher eyes went wide. “F-fangs?” he said, a panicked smile on his face. CC nodded, looking back at him with pity. He took his hand off her, bringing his hands down to look at them. “N-no...I would never even consider biting the kid! Let alone turning her!” he said, fear on the edge of his voice.

“How do we know that ye didn’t do it on accident?” Conductor sneered. Snatcher stared at him for a moment, face-palmed, and shook his head.

“You don’t understand. Turning someone into a vampire is much more complicated than just a simple bite.” he groaned, rubbing the spot between his eyes. “I would have to feed off of her and then give her some of my own blood in exchange.” he explained, recalling the process all too well in his memory. “And it’s not an easy process. Unlike yours, that is. All you have to do is bite her once.” he finished. Conductor kept his mouth shut for a moment, processing his thoughts.

“Ye act like a real bumbling idiot when yer hungry. Are ye sure ye didn’t bite the lass?” he asked, cocking his head in question. Snatcher’s eyes thinned as he scowled back.

“Do you want an honest answer to that, old man? Or should I just carve it into your skull?” he hissed, stretching out his claws and digging them into the couch cushion.

“Will you two cut it out?!” CC shrieked, grabbing their attention. “Arguing is getting us nowhere!” she scolded them. They stayed in bitter silence, with Snatcher softly nodding. “Maybe we should just wait until morning. I think we all just need some rest.” She sighed, getting up from the couch.

“Sure, whatever.” Snatcher grumbled as he did the same. “We don’t have a lot of time though. We’ll need to find out what’s happening to kid soon, before things get ugly.” he said as he straighten his shirt collar and tie.

“Yer right there. Don’t want the lass biting and feeding off of peck knows what.” Conductor joked.

Something inside of Snatcher snapped as his eye twitched. And before he knew it, he was holding Conductor up by the throat. Conductor gasped and struggled for air as he was lifted off the ground. Snatcher’s eyes were glowing with rage and his fangs seemed to grow in size. CC watched in horror, frozen on the spot. She was too scared of what he would do next.

“I would. Never. Bite. The kid.” he snarled, tightening his grip as Conductor choked and gurgled. “Don’t you ever assume that I would hurt her like that again.” he said, showing off his gleaming, sharp fangs. He then let go of Conductor and watched him drop to the floor. Conductor gasped as he fell on his hands and knees, coughing up a storm. Snatcher simply watched the feeble old man, his shadow looming over his weak body. He leaned down ever-so slightly and whispered to him.

“You’re just a careless old fool, so quit denying it.”

Before he could brace himself, Conductor got up and popped him right in the nose.

He was knocked back with great force. His body slammed onto the hardwood floor and the back of his head bumped into the couch. He groaned, his eyes tightening with pain and watering. He laid there for a moment before quickly pushing himself up. Something warm trickled from his nose and he quickly went to cover it. He brought back his hand, he saw that it had smears of blood. He looked back at Conductor to see him shaking his hand in pain. Conductor then started wiping his hand on his white shirt, leaving behind small red stains.

“Oh, so that’s how we’re going to talk this out.” he laughed coldly, unaware of Conductor’s glare towards him as he held his nose. “Then again, why am I surprised? You always were a brute with conversation.” he grinned, flashing off his teeth. As he saw Conductor seething with rage his smile swiftly dropped.

“I’LL SHOW YE A ‘CONVERSATION’!” roared Conductor. He made to lunge towards Snatcher, would was still laying on the ground. He braced himself, outstretching his claws so he could give the old man a couple scratches once they made contact. Conductor’s hands were reaching for his face-

“ENOUGH!”

The two froze on the spot. Literally. A pulse of blue magic washed over them, freezing them like a statues. Conductor stood hunched over Snatcher, still reaching for his face but somehow managing to keep an impossible balance. Snatcher still had his claws out, still protecting his upper half through his frozen trance. CC was panting, she didn’t mean to cast that spell. But it had stopped them from killing each other, so that’s all that mattered. She walked up to them, their eyes were the only thing moving. They looked back at her, she sighed.

“If I unfreeze you both, you have to stop the fighting. Alright?” she asked them both. They couldn’t nod, but if they could they’d be doing it in unison. She quickly clapped her hands together. They both let out a yell as the spell was broken. And before he could move out of the way, Conductor fell on top of Snatcher. He grunted, feeling squished under the old-timer’s weight.

“Get. Off!” he wheezed, shoving Conductor off himself. Conductor yelped in surprise, his face hitting the floor and his hat falling off. Snatcher stood back up at an alarming speed, dusting himself off hurriedly. He tried fixing his tie but did it much too fast and undid it instead. He tore the tie off his neck and threw it on the ground.

“I am going to bed, I’ve had enough of this!” he growled, his hair puffing up.

“Darlings, what is all this racket?” Grooves said as he appeared in the doorway, yawning and half asleep. He was then fully awake as Snatcher came towards him and shoved him out of the way.

“GOOD! NIGHT!” he shouted, stomping off towards the attic room stairs. He slammed the door to his room, making the others jump and the house shake a little. Grooves looked back at CC and Conductor. CC had a very worried expression and Conductor was still getting up off the floor.

“What was that all about?” Grooves asked.

***

Snatcher tossed and turned in his old bed, the mattress creaking underneath him. He turned again for what felt like the hundredth time and stared at the ceiling. He huffed and then sighed, he just couldn’t sleep. He was too angry, his nose still being sore from that punch earlier. It wasn’t broken and the bleeding had fortunately stopped now, thanks to a couple tissues. But he was going to get back at that old coot for what he did.

Yet, as mad as he was at the Conductor, he was also extremely worried. What if he did infect the kid? It was a crazy notion, one that he dreaded. But it lingered in his mind like a bad dream. It was almost like he could picture-

Him standing over the kid in an alleyway. His claws sharp and ready to cut through flesh. His teeth bared and pointed, bigger and sharper. His eyes glowing and glaring, like he was a predator of the night. But he wasn’t all there. He was too hungry to notice or care. He didn’t care that the kid was crying. He didn’t care that her small body was shaking as he came closer and closer. He didn’t care that his claws were hurting her as he grabbed her. All he want to do was sink his teeth in and-

“Shut up.” he hissed at himself, smacking his face with a pillow. “That didn’t happen, and it never will.” he told himself. But he mind still wouldn’t let go of the dark thought. He knew that he could be very impulsive when it came to feeding. He hadn’t had a meal in days. And it could be possible that he slipped up and blacked out making him forget the whole thing…

No, he refused to believe it. He would never turn the kid. He didn’t want to admit it, but he cared about her too much. And he would never, under the stars and moon, ever bite her. The kid turning into a vampire? It was a stupid, rash thought. One that he needed to forget and take his mind off of.

He got up from the bed and began pacing back and forth. Perhaps he was just...hungry. Yeah, that was it. The lack of blood was probably driving him crazy, making him paranoid over silly little things. He just couldn’t wait another day for those blood bags that CC promised. He probably wasn’t getting them anyways, not after that little fiasco. Which meant he needed to find some food for himself. He went over to the window, looking out into the backyard and into the woods. He’d just have to make another hunting trip, that’s all. Just go into the forest, find a quick meal, and get out before-

He immediately paused his thoughts as he saw a figure outside. A very small figure was running through the grass. He got closer to the glass and set his hands against it. Who on earth was that? He tried squinting his eyes, his vampiric vision helping him try to see who it was. Was it a burglar? No...too tiny. Was it the monstrous puppy? No...she’d be running on all fours if that were the case. Then who the heck was-

Snatcher gasped slightly as noticed the hat. The all too familiar top hat that he could recolonize in a flash. But...no it couldn’t be her. It just couldn’t be her. His eyes widened with fear as the kid stopped running and turned around. She looked back at the house, her movements odd and jittery. She looked up at the house, almost at him, with...

Two. Glowing. Eyes.

Snatcher was shaking in fear. He used all his willpower to keep himself from screaming. He put a hand to his mouth, and then another. The kid hadn’t noticed him watching her from the window, or she didn’t care, as she ran faster into the woods. He stood there in shocked silence before stepping back and dropping back onto his bed. He shivered, pulling a his hair with tears of despair in his eyes. Telling himself over and over that he didn’t see that, he didn’t see that, HE DIDN’T SEE THAT! There’s was no way that the kid had glowing eyes! Only werecreatures had glowing eyes! Or...or-

“Vampires...” he said through his weeping, the word caught in his throat. He held his face in his hands, sucking the air in through his teeth. He stayed like this for a few moments, tuning out the world around him. Then, as fast as he broke down crying, he stopped. He got up off his bed a second time, stiff and emotionless as a robot. He made his way over to the door and was about to reach for the doorknob. But he hesitated for a moment. Should he really go after the kid himself?

No, he had to bring someone with him. He had to. Even if it was CC, who would be skittish and scared the entire time they would be in the forest. Peck, he would even take Conductor with him at this point. He would most likely insist on it anyways, despite him being a major hindrance. But he just need someone, anyone to come with him into the forest. He just need some clarification, that’s all. Just some evidence or excuse that he could hold onto for dear life. Because he did not infect the kid, and he was going to prove it. He opened the door and hastily went to wake the others up.

Time for another hunting trip.

***

“Are ye sure ye saw the lassie run off here?” Conductor asked for the fifth time in a row as they were treading through the forest. The sounds of chirping crickets, crunching leaves, and the occasional scampering of startled critters were all around them. Yet this didn’t stop them from going deeper into the forest.

“I know what I saw.” Snatcher said. He had manage to fill the two in on what happened, keeping the details of his nervous breakdown to himself. He lead the group, perking his head up as he listened to his surrounding with his pointed ears. He stopped the group for a moment, his ears twitching, and then motioned for the two to keep following him from behind.

“I hope she’s okay...” CC whispered, trying her best to be extra quiet. She stepped on a branch, yelping at the dry snapping sound it made. “Sorry!” she apologized, but he paid little mind to it as they kept on walking. “You said she looked strange?” she asked, her voice even quieter. Snatcher turned back to look at her, looking more serious then he had ever been before.

“Strange is an understatement. This is...frightening, to say the least.” he put it simply, quickly going back to directing the group. CC and Conductor glanced at each other. CC then went back to following Snatcher. She thought if he was this serious about it, then he must be trusted. But Conductor wasn’t so sure, staying behind from the group for a moment. Was it really a good idea to put trust in him of all people? The same crazy bum who nearly broke his own neck? It just didn’t seem right…

“Conductor, are you coming?” CC whisper-shouted over to him. He snapped out of it, nodding back at her.

“Ah’m coming, Ah’m coming. Give me a minute.” he responded, catching up with the group.

“We haven’t got all day, old man. Who knows how deep in the kid is by now?” Snatcher said back to him. Conductor grumbled and followed them hastily. Looks like he really would have to follow him, as much as it annoyed him. Wasn’t there any other way? Couldn’t he just go look for the little lass himself? Then again… Peck it. He was already out here following them, and there was always the possibility that he could get lost all by himself. Besides, he wasn’t doing this for the bum’s sake.

He was doing it for the lassie, he had to make sure she was safe.

“Ah wish DJ Peck Neck would’ve helped us.” Conductor complained, it was all he could think to do to ease the tension. “‘Ah need mah beauty sleep’ he said! What a load of rubbish! I’ll tell him where to shove his ‘beauty sleep’ once we-”

Conductor’s ranting was interrupted as Snatcher stopped in his tracks. The two bumped into him, but he still stood upright. He shushed them, holding up and hand and staying silent.

“Do you hear that?” he asked them in a whisper.

“Hear what?” Conductor said in his regular tone of voice. Both CC and Snatcher were quick to shush him.

“Be quiet and listen!” Snatcher fussed. Conductor glared at him before cuffing his ears to listen better for the noise. CC did the same, and they all joined in to listen…

What they heard was very disturbing. It sounded like little growling noises from an animal. Yet, they almost sounded human-like if you listened close enough. There were also crunching noises that were accompanied with wet chewing and tearing. The growling would stop for a few moments and a small gulping noise could be heard. They were sickly noises that sounded like something was eating. Or, more specifically, feeding.

They all looked at each other, chilled to the bone. Snatcher tried to compose himself as best he could, trying not to shake or shiver in fear. He tried thinking of a reasonable explanation to what he was hearing. Perhaps it wasn’t the kid? Maybe there were just hungry wolves in the area? No wait, bad thought. If there were wolves in the area where the kid ran into, that wouldn’t be a good sign. That means a pack of wolves could’ve found her, chased her down, and eaten her... Oh heavens, why would he even think of that?! That was a terrible thought!

While Snatcher was panicking in his own mind, so was CC. She was more concerned for the child then she had ever been before. Hoping that what she was hearing was just a trick if the imagination. It was probably some other creature, right? Like a squirrel or a rabbit maybe. Then again, those animals didn’t growl as much. But it was probably nothing! Hat Kid was just...a sleepwalker! Yes, just a sleepwalker! They’ll just find the little girl sleeping in a bush, take her back home, tuck her back into her little bed, and pretend like this all didn’t happen! After all, she had to be safe right? Right?

Conductor’s dreads were also starting to settle in more. He could tell that the growling sounded animal, but was it actually human. He broke out in a cold sweat, he recognized that growling. It was exactly was a newly turned wereowl would sound like during a full moon. But strangely enough, there wasn’t a full moon out tonight. And the lassie hadn’t been sprouting feathers the last time he checked, just scratching. So he had nothing to worry about, right? Hat Kid was perfectly fine and not turning into a tiny, little wereowlet. Because he hadn’t bitten her...or had he?

Snatcher set the group back in motion by plucking up the courage to go further. CC noticed this and quickly joined him. Conductor was the last one, taking a huge gulp before moving on in shaky steps. The terrible noises became louder. Snatcher was breathing rapidly, carefully moving through the brush so as not to disturb whoever was making the noises. Conductor was visibly quaking as they kept on going. But CC seemed to be the only one acting calm. At least, she was on the outside. But in the inside? Her motherly instincts were going crazy. They all now heard the noises from behind a few trees, as if they were right in front of it.

They froze as heard a voice. A voice that sounded like a child’s, but filled with growls and a soft yet creepy tone.

“Mmm...yummy, yummy...”

They all perked up at the child’s voice. CC was the most alert to it, her eyes wider than the two men combined. “Sweetheart? Is that you?” she called out softly, still whispering meekly. The chewing noises continued anyways, as if the person eating hadn’t heard her. Before Snatcher could stop her, she was already pushing past him to get through. She went up towards the patch of trees and tried to look past them. “Sweetie, are you okay?” she said, a little more frantic this time. “It’s okay, I’m h-”

She stopped as she caught sight of something. She stood there, stiff as a board. Snatcher and Conductor looked at each other, puzzled as to why she was so quiet. They both moved closer to her.

“Uh, CC? You doing okay?” Snatcher asked, making to tap her on the shoulder.

“Lass, what’s wrong?” Conductor joined in, reaching out to her.

CC started falling to the ground. Snatcher jumped back as CC fainted in Conductor’s general direction. Conductor managed to catch her by pure reflex, hoisting up her limp body. She was very much unconscious, but still breathing slowly. He looked back at Snatcher with a worried and confused face, still holding her in his arms. Snatcher just stared at her, his hopes were beginning to crumble into dust. All he knew was that this wasn’t a good sign.

“Just...set her down somewhere. She’ll be fine, we can get her later.” Snatcher whispered, instructing Conductor. Conductor hesitated before carefully lowering CC onto the ground. He move her arms and legs a bit, making sure she would be comfortable. As he did that, Snatcher was already going ahead of him. He hid behind some of the trees, moving around but not wanting to been seen. Conductor looked up and quickly left CC laying there to join him. But he didn’t hide like Snatcher. Instead, he simply walked on forward. They moved closer and closer to the sounds-

Until they finally caught a glimpse of the hatted child.

She was sitting on the ground, dressed in her little frilly nightgown. Only the nightgown was smeared with grass, dirt, and blood stains. To their horror, they could see exactly why. She was holding some sort of small creature in both her hands, tearing it apart with her teeth. And her teeth...they were pointed and clearly not human. Her chin was dripping with blood as she dung into her meal rather greedily. They both saw this, watching in terror and disgust as she gobbled up the fresh pieces of animal flesh.

Snatcher could not recall a time where he was more terrified. Watching the kid munching away with her teeth. Her sharp teeth. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of them. It recalled terrible memories for him. His past life spent with her. Him slowly be turned by her, an agonizing process of which he could never forget. His first time feeding, getting a taste of blood for the first time. And then, the village killings. The one memory he wished he could forget, but couldn’t. She reminded him too much of those memories. The pain, the hunger, the mindless urge to just feed. He scratched his claws against the bark of the tree, tears in his eyes. Please! he thought. Anything but this!

While Snatcher was fixated on the child’s inhuman teeth, Conductor was just as scared if not more. His blood went cold as he saw something that Snatcher was too scared to notice. All around the where Hat Kid was sitting, scattered here and there, were feathers. Little. Yellow. Feathers. On the ground, stuck to her clothes, even some on her face. He couldn’t believe it. He didn’t want to believe it. But he couldn’t stop the himself from crying fearful tears. It’s true isn’t it? he thought in despair. He had bitten the little one. He had infected her. He couldn’t remember when it happened, but he must have. Now she was cursed to live a light under the full moon. A vicious little beast that fed off of tiny woodland creatures like snacks. And it’s all my fault...

Hat Kid was alerted to the sound of their sobbing. She quickly looked up at the two, grabbing their attention.

They both gasped at the same time. She didn’t look at all like herself. Her skin was orange-red and scaly, gleaming under the moonlight. Her eyes, like cat or snake eyes, bright yellow with a slit in the middle. And was that a tail? Yes, they saw a long pointy-tipped tail poking out from beneath her gown. They both got a full glimpse of what she had been eating, now that her face was out of the way. The small body of a dead bird was in her hands, nothing but a feathery and bloody pile. She was an absolute mess, her clothes ruined and her face bloodied. And she was, without a doubt, not human.

But she wasn’t a vampire or a wereowl. And that made all the difference.

“KID!” Snatcher yelled in surprise, letting go of the tree he was clinging onto and running over to her.

“LASSIE!” Conductor followed him, stumbling and nearly falling.

Hat Kid didn’t get a change to escape as the two men picked her up off the ground. They hugged and squeezed her together, as if she had been gone for an entire week. They didn’t care that they were visibly crying next to each other. And they didn’t care that the blood the kid was covered in was getting on their clothes. They just cared that she was safe! And more importantly, not infected by either of them. They kept hugging and cuddling her, not wanting to let go.

But they both lifted their heads once they heard her beginning to cry.

“Hey kid, what’s wrong?” Snatcher asked as she sniffled and sobbed, tears rolling down her scaly cheeks.

“Lassie, are ye alright?” Conductor asked, just as worried. Hat Kid managed to open her watery eyes to look up at them, a sad look on her face.

“Please don’t be mad at me.” she wept. They look at her in shock.

“Mad at you? Why on earth would we be mad at you?” Snatcher replied, laughing nervously in relief.

“Lassie, Ah’m the happiest man alive right now. And you better believe it!” Conductor said, playfully ‘booping’ Hat Kid on the nose. She giggled weakly before going back to frowning.

“Why didn’t ye tell us about this?” Conductor asked.

“And what are you anyways?” Snatcher added. Conductor glared at him. “What? Just asking.” he shrugged, ignoring the glare. Hat Kid looked down in shame, keeping quiet for a few minutes.

“I’m...an imp.” she finally managed to say. She took off her hat, revealing two little red horns on the top of her head. Snatcher and Conductor were fascinated by them. How had they not seen those before?

“Oh...” Snatcher blurted out, not knowing what else to say. He’d never really heard of an imp before, or even seen one. And neither had Conductor, who was staring at the horns rather bemusedly.

“I’m really sorry!” Hat Kid apologized out of the blue. “I used magic to make myself look human so you wouldn’t find out.” she explained, holding on tightly to her hat.

“Why?” Snatcher asked, tilting his head in question. Hat Kid’s eyes started to well with tears again.

“I didn’t want to scare anybody...” she muttered softly. “Nobody likes imps. I don’t know why, but everyone who’s seen my true form hates what I look like.” she sniffed, leaning into Snatcher’s chest. She started to full on sob. “And...t-they said I was a...m-monster! And...and a d-demon and I...I-” she tried to speak through her sobbing. “I’m so, so soooooorry!” she wailed, hugging Snatcher tightly. Both Snatcher and Conductor’s hearts felt like they were going to break from sadness. How could people say such things to such a little girl? Sure, she definitely wasn’t human. But she was the most kind, caring, and sweet kid they had ever meet!

“Shhhhh, hey now. It’s okay, it’s okay. Everything’s fine.” Snatcher spoke softly, cradling her like a baby. Conductor also helped to calm her by rubbing her back.

“It’s okay that yer a monster. Ye know that we love ye anyways, right lassie?” Conductor said, stroking her on the head. Hat Kid looked up at him, a glitter of hope in her eyes.

“R-really?” she asked.

“Kid, seriously? You live with a witch, a zombie, a vampire, a werewolf, and a wereowl all under the same roof. I’m pretty sure we’re okay with you not being human.” Snatcher said sarcastically, making her giggle happily.

“Bum’s got a point. I’ll have to agree with him fer once.” Conductor joked, resting a hand on Snatcher’s shoulder. “Ah don’t think we could trade ye fer anything in the world.” he smiled back at her. They couldn’t really tell, but Hat Kid was blushing from underneath her scales.

“Come on! It’s past your bedtime, young lady.” Snatcher grinned, picking up the kid and sitting her on his shoulders.

“Oi! How come ye get to carry her?” Conductor huffed.

“Oh? You’re telling me you don’t want to carry CC home?” Snatcher jested. Conductor’s face went red as he lowered his hat over his eyes.

“Shut up, peckneck.” he sputtered, heading off to get CC anyways.

“Language!” Snatcher shouted as he followed him, the kid resting on his shoulders. Once he saw Conductor with CC in his arms, they headed back towards to house.

“Y’know…you could have told us sooner. At least a warning would’ve been nice.” Snatcher told Hat Kid, sighing tiredly. He saw the kid sticking her tongue out at him, it was black and forked like a snake’s tongue. He snorted, she was just too adorable for her own good. Even in monster form!

“C’mon, kiddo. Let’s get you cleaned up before CC has a heart attack.” he said. He then realized something. “Wait a minute...” he paused. “You were the one who buried those dirty clothes in the garden, weren’t you?” he told Hat Kid. She rubbed the back of her head, looking extremely guilty. “Oh wow, hiding the evidence to frame someone? You’re more of a little troublemaker than I thought!” he grinned mischievously.

“Ohoho! The pup sure isn’t forgiving ye fer that one, lassie!” Conductor called back, joining in the fun. Hat Kid then huffed and crossed her arms.

“I was hungry okay?!” she yelling, irritated and making a pouty face. Conductor and Snatcher stared at each other for a few minutes. Snatcher started cackling and Conductor howled with laughter.

“What? What’s so funny?” she asked them, but they weren’t listening.

“Oh kid...you’re a riot.” Snatcher said, snickering a little. Conductor was too busy giggling to have a witty reply, so he just kept on walking. Hat Kid didn’t quite get the joke, but she smiled anyways. “Come on, kid. Let’s get you home.” Snatcher said, bouncing her on his shoulders. Hat Kid laughed, yawned loudly, and rested her head on top of his soft hair. Home… she thought happily as she started to fall asleep.

She was really starting to feel more at home that she ever had before.

[eliaelliot]

I’m On Fire | Drabble |

Summary: Years of hazy summer memories that aren't quite coherent.

Written for my series Bury and Friend and Distract and Sedate. 

Ao3.

Trigger Warning: Past sexual assault, depression, bullying(?), awkward memories from middle school, light smut, child abuse.

Title: I’m on Fire - Bruce Springsteen 

I didn’t proofread because it’s real cringe.

Roman had never visited his father's grave before. He had been buried in the Godfrey's private cemetery. It sat in the former back yard of an old farmhouse, originally belonging to Roman's great-great-grandparents. Now an administrative building for Hemlock Acres sat there, or just about.

Before his death, J.R. had been trying to get the graves exhumed and moved to the mansion's property but Olivia opposed that. She never said it aloud, but Roman suspects she hated the idea of a graveyard destroying her gardens. Or possibly because the Godfrey family never meant as much to her as the name did.

It's a hot August day when he finally makes the trip. It's two days after his 16th birthday to be exact. He's finally taken full ownership of J.R.'s old car and loves to drive around in it. He had spent the whole summer teaching himself how to drive it. Luckily he seemed to have a natural response to the gears and clutch.

He makes the decision to go like he makes most of his decisions, on impulse. As he drives towards town he makes another decision on impulse and quickly turns down a side street. 

He parks his car and walks towards the front porch, sunglasses still on. Then he hears it. He can hear the sound of pop music quietly lingering around the corner. He follows the noise towards the backyard.

"What are you doing? It's hot as shit out here," he calls out before seeing her. Emma's sitting in one of those cheap dollar store lounge chairs that go by pools. She's not wearing her bathing suit but there is no pool in sight. She looks up from her book and pushes her sunglasses back in her hair.

"Air conditioners out," she explains, looking over her shoulder at him.

"Gross," he grumbles and keeps walking forward.

"What's up?"

"I'm going for a drive," he says. "Want to come?"

"Where to?"

"Does it matter?"

She contemplates this briefly before deciding it doesn't. 

When the roof is down on the Jag the wind blows too loud to speak. The music is barely audible, but Emma doesn't mind. She leans back on the headrest and enjoys the warm sunlight that will disappear in just a few weeks. Roman drives down the winding roads carefully. She only realizes where they're headed when they pass the Hemlock Acres sign. 

She stands back as Roman stares down at his father's grave. He bounces from leg to leg uncomfortable for no more than a minute before he's satisfied. He spins on his feet quickly and walks right past her. She chases after him to the car. "Let's go swimming," he says to her.

.....

"You go first," she says. He looks at her like she's crazy. "You wanted to come here!"

"Yeah, but it's cold... And I don't know-"

She pulls her shirt over her head and drops it onto the shabby wood dock. Her denim shorts follow suit and Roman sees her running past him. 

With a groan, he's not far behind her.

The grimy feeling of the lake water washes over her as she rises back to the surfaces. She hates this fucking lake. The water from Roman's jump splashes in her face. When he rises back up he looks up at the sky. "Okay, it's not that cold."

"And it's like really fucking hot outside," she says as she lightly kicks her legs.

Roman sinks himself into the water. Rising back up, he flips his hair back and shakes the water out. They swim around in the water for only a few minutes before something touches Emma's foot and she shrieks.

"Can we go?"

"You're such a pussy," he laughs back.

"Well, excuse me for not wanting to get bit by a snake."

"You're fine," he assures her.

"Why do you insist on coming here?" She swims towards the dock. "You have a perfectly clean pool. One that you can see in."

"There's no one here," he says with a shrug. "I feel like someone's always watching me at home."

At least when he's outside of his room he does. There are always housekeepers watching or landscapers. He never got in trouble for anything he did, but their eyes lingered and it felt invasive. Whether or not he was punished, his mother knew every single thing he did.

Roman swims to the dock and pulls himself out next to her.

The sun is setting when he parks the car haphazardly in the middle of the driveway. 

Olivia is standing in the foyer with a glass of red wine when they enter. She clicks one heel on the marble floor. Both of their faces straighten up and they stop in their tracks. "You missed dinner."

"Sorry," Roman says biting back a giggle. 

"You're filthy," Olivia points out. "There are leftovers, but don't come into my dining room until you've rid yourselves of that scent."

Roman preferred baths, but the dried mud on his ankles demanded a shower. Emma waits on the counter attempting to pull apart the knots in her hair. The lake water had dried and formed some sort of ungodly coating that made brushing it impossible. 

They were much too old to exist so casually. Roman remembers the first time he seemed to discover this.

Only a few years ago, when they were 13 or 14, Olivia had taken them along on a business trip with her. It had started out a disaster with Roman fighting with his mom about why Shelley couldn't come. She tells him that he'll be going with her to work things. She insists that it's time for him to become involved with the company. Roman is enthralled by that. He is finally old enough. It's a lie, of course.

Olivia had bought Emma her first two-piece swimsuit earlier that summer. she spent most of the trip fidgeting and pulling at it. It never quite fit comfortably.

His mother disappears during the day, and often late into the evening with well-dressed men and Norman. It leaves Emma and Roman all the time in the world to wander around the resort. A couple of the other girls their sown vacation take a liking to him and are always giggling nearby. 

"Are you a lesbian?" He asks seemingly out of the blue. 

"What?" She snaps her head towards him.

"Are you a lesbian?" He asks again, innocently. He had been watching her watching the girls watching him. Her face was a mixture of curiosity and disgust. 

"No. Why do you think that?"

"Because you never seem interested in guys."

Ironically, when the returned to school that fall Emma catches the eye of a guy in her math class. He does not catch hers in return. And when he asks her out, or whatever it is they do at their age, she says no.

"I'm sorry," she gives him a sympathetic smile.

"Whatever, slut," he says with a huff. It's the biggest insult at that age. It would be a few years before slut-shaming became, for the most part, frowned upon. Now, at 14, the word stings. When one person said it, it would only be a matter of time before more joined it.

"What?" She asks. Her face turns bright red.

"I said: whatever, slut," he repeats with more attitude. "You're just Godfrey's sloppy seconds. Bet you're loose, anyways."

"That's not- that's not true," she stutters before walking away. In some way, Emma felt violated. She didn't feel old enough, mature enough, for someone to speak about her that way. She was just a kid, but that didn't matter to that guy.

His words never catch any traction. 

.....

"What's for dinner?" He asks the elderly lady in the kitchen.

"Lamb loin with red cabbage and cranberry jam."

The two teenagers' faces are pure horror at what she had described. In no way, shape, or form did a lamb loin sound appetizing. They share a quick glance before he looks back at Anna. "Can we just have, like, pizza or something?"

"Anything," Emma adds.

"Fine, but if your mother finds out it is your problem," she responds.

At their age, Olivia had already had and given up her first child. The scheme had hatched in her head not too long ago. She could have her son longer if his aging slowed now. The temptation was always there. Push harder, keep him close.

Maybe it was sympathy, or jealousy, or a little of both, that stopped her. 

When they sit on his floor sharing a cheese pizza he feels it rising again. She looks back at him curiously. He turns back to face the TV and flip through the channels. "What are you looking at me like that for?" She asks, feeling him still glancing over.

"Like what?" He glues his eyes forward.

"Like this," she says then proceeds to obnoxiously recreate his facial expressions.

"Because you're weird-looking," he quips with a smile.

"Creative," she remarks sarcastically then finishes her soda with a burp.

"And disgusting." He pushes her hands away and she tries to smack his arm. 

They sit in silence again. It's never uncomfortable, but it is often empty. Now that Roman can drive she's sure they'll have more things to do, but this was a familiar scene. There's nothing to do where they live. Nowhere to go other than to the ice cream shop that closes early or the diner. It's the first time the two of them really become victims of boredom.

Roman had kissed a girl before- girls really. They flocked to him like they do in the movies. His phone was flooded with unknown numbers texting him and giving their best try. He was never interested in it beyond the show. He loved the looks the guys at school would give him. They were jealous. Roman could be as big of an asshole to these girls and it didn't matter because he was Roman.

She knows that he's inexperienced beyond short make-out sessions during lunch. It didn't seem like a good or bad idea at the time because it was never an idea. There was never some grand scheme or plan they made. They never talked about it before, and it would be a long time after until they did.

Looking back, it's another instance in which Emma feels like she was too young. 

Now at eighteen, the air conditioning had once again gone out at Emma's house. Even with the windows in her room wide open and the fan on high, she can't seem to cool down. She's been sleeping only with a loose knitted blanket and thin layers of clothing. 

She hates it like this. Their skin sticks together too easily, and one wrong look and they've made eye contact. She hates how his doe eyes look up at her, begging for that contact. It's the only time he looks up like that. He looks up her like she has or is the solution to all of his problems. Like she could make things okay again. 

He reaches out and grabs at any flesh he can touch. He cranes his neck up to bite at the exposed skin under the breast. Her breath hitches when he latches on to her like a baby. There was something so innocent in it. Then it's over.

Without a word, she moves to the bathroom to take a cold shower. It's a trick she had learned over the summers. When she returns to her room, Roman has fallen asleep. The draft from the fan mixed with the small water droplets that haven't dried yet provides just enough relief for her to fall asleep.

Bro, trying to write this and not feel real cheesy about it was really hard so i gave up. This is al I got but thank you for reading this trash.