#old computers had so many nice bells and whistles!

[prurientpuddlejumper]

A Punchable Face That I Want to Kiss, Ch. 8

<- Chapter 7 | Chapter 9 ->

Summary: Snapshots of life with a fussy brat over the three-year time jump. Including: a few holiday specials. 

3,949 words

With the lease up on your apartment, Frederick invited you to move in with him. It seemed like the next logical step in your relationship, especially considering how frequently you slept there anyway—though he had to justify the choice by saying he “could not stand seeing you live in squalor.” The house was certainly big enough for two people (or several less-wealthy families).

It was nice living with him, because you lived very different lives. Rather than finding it stifling to be trapped in the same house, it was freeing that you could spend so much of the day apart—or weeks, as it often was, traveling for cases or book promotion tours—and yet always be connected by the home you would return to at the end of it all.

You were planets of the solar system orbiting the same sun. 

The stability of that was comforting. So much had changed—Will Graham left and cut ties with the FBI, Hannibal Lecter was imprisoned at the Baltimore State Hospital for the Criminally Insane where Alana Bloom now held Chilton’s old job, and you were considering following Will’s lead and pursuing new career options. It made you glad to have someone familiar to keep you company, and always be there when you needed him. 

For all the good, living with Frederick Chilton was not always easy. He was a shameless snob who did not believe in laundry chairs, and panicked when his state-of-the-art kitchen was filled with sugary cereals with cartoon characters on the box. There were many clashes of egos early on, some of which never fully disappeared. Now that his star was rising, he insisted you dress a certain way when you were to be seen in public together—particularly at any sort of publicity event or psychiatric conference, but anywhere really that he might be recognized. He was yours, and that meant you reflected upon him. He updated your entire wardrobe like you were starring in an episode of Queer Eye, and had your hair professionally styled.

You couldn’t even be annoyed at the controlling implications of it—you were never great at dressing professionally, and it was exciting to see yourself looking so sharp in the mirror. You could surrender that to him. He enjoyed sophisticated things, like the opera and restaurants where celebrities eat, and now you didn’t feel so out of place when you joined him.

“You actually look quite elegant,” he nodded in surprised approval at your new attire.

You stuck out your tongue.

“Do not tempt me with that,” he said with a feline wiggle of his shoulders. “We have engagements to get to, and I do not want to re-do my face.” He wrapped the hand not gripping a cane around your hip and kissed you, coaxing your naughty tongue into his mouth with a lustful growl.

Any time he was too fussy and judgmental to the point of being unkind, you were quite practiced at flicking him back down to earth. He rarely apologized, of course, but would look up and purse his lips in thought before admitting, “You may be right.”

He was a sassy bitch, but you knew that. It’s why you loved him.

You loved him.

You did. It was strange to realize how much you loved someone you used to hate, whose traits you would normally find incompatible with your own. He was a miserable little rich boy with a self-satisfied sneer, a flare for drama, and perpetually questionable ethics, yet you would do anything to keep him safe. You wanted to stay by his side forever.

And there was something to be said about his difficult personality when you were not on the receiving end of it. 

Being on his side was fun—his hand at your back as he verbally destroyed someone with a catty insinuation that left their eyes glowering with indignation. That used to be me, you thought. Now you were up on his throne with him, and the view was much better.

You wanted to stay through all the medications, physical therapy, and regular hospital visits to tweak his prosthetics and make sure his remaining organs were all still functioning properly. You wanted to stay even as you questioned how much of your affection for him was pity in disguise, as he had suggested the first time you slept with him in a fit of explosive passion—that you liked wounded birds.

If it was pity, and being pity meant you would have to leave, then you resolved to stuff your fingers in your ears and ignore it. No psychoanalysis would make you give him up. You wanted to keep orbiting the sun together.

  *****

Calliope music paraded through the air with aggressively cheerful pneumatic whistles that grabbed your eardrums and pulled them screaming into the 1920s. Shrieks, laughter, bells, and shouts rushed by.

Frederick Chilton stuck close beside you and mistrustfully held a greasy paper plate like it was a venomous snake.

It seemed only fair that in return for dressing up, you made him dress down and do normal-person things, like go to the county fair and eat deliciously greasy fried foods. It was like a cultural exchange program.

“Every moment I am not writing my next book is another moment the world goes without a groundbreaking revelation on the human psyche,” he had snipped when you first suggested the outing. He barely looked up from his computer, where he sat typing in a suave leather office chair.

“Oh come on, you owe me,” you persisted. “I am sick and tired of fancy museums and fancy restaurants and fancy psychiatric conventions. Next time we’re in a hotel, there should be Star Trek costumes involved!” He straightened like you’d shoved a rod up his spine, and you chuckled inwardly at his petty aversion to being seen at that type of convention. “Come on, it’s just the fair,” you rubbed his shoulders and he groaned with annoyance. “Nobody important will be there. You’ll be totally incognito. Be a commoner with me.”

“I suppose it is the least I can do,” he caved in at last, leaning his head back to rest on your chest, glancing up at you through his eyebrows. “Since it is so important to you, I shall partake of your proletariat festivities.”

“Don’t say proletariat when we’re at the fair, you bougie dork.”

He wore a plain black t-shirt, and his hair wasn’t quite as primly styled as usual, letting a few strands fly free. The less he stood out from the crowd, the less likely a professional acquaintance or fan would recognize him.

Even living with Chilton, it was rare to see him dressed so casually, and you had expected it to be disconcerting. Instead, you found yourself drooling. He was sexy in a suit, but so was everybody with the correct fit. The unstructured t-shirt hugged his broad chest and revealed those alarmingly muscular arms that were usually a secret hidden under sleeves.

It was odd seeing your private Chilton—reserved for nights and mornings—out in the world, and a reminder of how lucky you were.

He managed to look dapper even with powdered sugar on his shirt.

“Funnel cake?” he cringed, as if the word itself was in poor taste. “Are we certain this is food?”

“You are ridiculously hoity-toity.”

“I do enjoy the finer things in life,” he boasted in a smooth, self-congratulatory hum.

You were about to sass him when you realized his admiring eyes were fixed on you, and he wore an expectant smirk on his lips. Your scowl cracked open into a tender laugh, and you linked your arm with his, giving him a playful hip bump.

His eyes widened at you in mock horror. “You would attack a man with a cane?” He awaited your answer with that same peevish smirk, but you didn’t have anything clever on your tongue, so you pulled him into a kiss instead. He melted against your lips, having gotten what he wanted.

Frederick refused to go on any rides, citing safety concerns and his delicate viscera, but you perused a hundred breeds of chickens, pet the World’s Tallest Clydesdale, watched pigs racing, browsed local artwork, and sampled craft beers which he had to admit were pretty good. You paid far too much money to shoot water guns at a spinning target faster than other carnival-goers so you could win an oversize plush of a corgi, which turned out to be filled with disappointing foam stuffing.

After finally placing a piece of sugary fried dough in his mouth, his eyes closed, and when they opened again, he declared it “not terrible.” Then inhaled it and spent the rest of the fair surreptitiously looking for another funnel cake stand.

When you got home, he confessed, with his most stern and dignified demeanor, that he may have, perhaps had fun, juvenile as it was. Then he quietly suggested that he would make an excellent Spock.

  *****

“I am never going to be perfect enough for you, am I?” you cried after another petty argument over another petty thing like stacking the cups in the cupboard in precisely the correct order. “How do you live with me? It must drive you crazy.”

Months of feeling inadequate bubbled to the surface all at once. Everything he did was so controlled, so exact, you really did wonder why he would ever be with someone like you.

“No,” he frowned, and as he gently took your shoulders his heart was crumbling in his eyes. There was a sorry on the tip of his tongue, but this was not the lottery-winning occasion he would say the word itself. He didn’t need to. He would say it in other ways.

His warm lips pressed your forehead as he rubbed loving circles on your arms with his thumbs. “Do you know who was perfect? Hannibal. I would rather live with a hot mess than a cold-blooded monster. One of us should be warm, anyway,” he gave a self-deprecating smile. “I must do better to remember the beauty of imperfection, because you are perfect to me.”

  *****

The front door opened well after the sun had disappeared and the stars had begun to come out. Frederick came home drained and exhausted from being on his feet all day trying to dominate professional rivals who were all, in turn, out to get him.

Conferences were invigorating, an exciting place to strut one’s superiority, make connections, and scope out the competition… until they were not, and they became whichever circle of Hell it is that makes one have to continually defend oneself to people for whom one will never be good enough.

You looked up from the book you were reading. You didn’t get up from the couch cushion’s gravitational embrace, but smiled with stars in your eyes, and called, “Frederick!”

Home.

He crawled onto the couch next to you, and laid his head in your lap. You set the book aside and ran your fingers through his hair, listening to the sweet, sleepy noises of pleasure the action evoked. Fantasies of this moment had kept him alive all day. You caressed his neck and the prickly stubble along the side of his jaw, and he turned his face into your palm and kissed it. He adored the way you touched him with your gentle, caring hands. Yawning, you reclined into the deep, plush cushions, and he shifted so you were both laying next to each other, content in each other’s embrace. He cuddled into your chest, face buried in your shirt.

“You smell like tacos.”

It was unclear how peevishly he intended the observation, so you simply replied, “I made tacos for dinner.”

“The cheap American kind that are nothing but ground beef, shredded cheese, and an insult to Mexican culture,” he said, voice muffled by the fabric.

“Mm-hmm,” you said.

“They are not real food.”

“Do you want some?”

“God, yes.”

  *****

With physical therapy, Chilton was finally able to walk comfortably without assistance again.

Technically, he had been able to for a long time. The cane was a crutch—in the figurative, not the literal, sense. In the literal sense it was very much not a crutch, or even a cane. At best, it was an expensive, silver-topped walking stick. He clung to it like a security blanket, or as a prop to garner pity, or simply because it was a dramatic accessory. The threat of physical therapy simply convinced him to let go of the pretense.

Like the spiral staircases of his home, some things about Dr. Chilton were fussy and theatrical for no reason.

It was almost a shame, you thought. That thing was the epitome of his dapper style (he might as well put on tap shoes, a top hat, and put on the Ritz with Fred Astaire), and it brought to mind such kinky images.

It was not one of those lightweight BDSM canes, and therefore was far too heavy to do any spanking with, assuming you wanted to be able to sit down any time in the next month. However, you recalled with some excitement his tapping it on the inside of your heels to get you to spread your legs open, using the pommel to gently tip your chin up to him, or running it slowly along the inside of your thighs.

You would miss that cane.

You still argued sometimes—but not as often. You were accustomed to his haughtiness and felt less need to try and change it, and he knew you well enough to relax when the two of you were alone. He took your advice that life was not a competition... but only when it came to you, not to his career and public reputation.

He was still obsessed with proving his superiority to the world. Still obsessed with seeing Hannibal Lecter grow old and feeble inside a cell. Those edges were so integrally a part of him you could never smooth them out.

  *****

You were good for his book tour.

Though he never raised his voice or threw insults around, Chilton still had the journalist sitting in your living room on edge. She gripped the recording device harder, nails turning white. Flanked by imposing towers of leather-bound books, he stared her down like a shark, bragging about his psychiatric achievements and describing grizzly details of the Lecter case with a heartless detachment—he smirked when the more graphic parts made her squeamish.

Dr. Chilton was (contrary to his own opinion) not the best mind in the psychiatric field, but there was one thing he was the preeminent expert in, and that was leaving people with the impression that he was a callous douchebag who thought he was better than everyone else. Which was more or less accurate.

When you entered the room, his whole demeanor softened.

“Hey honey,” you poked your head in with a plate of cookies. “Sorry, I didn’t know you had that interview today. Should I come back later?”

“Nonsense, darling, come in.”

The haughty stare he’d been giving the journalist broke and turned to a warm gaze and a kind smile as he crossed the room to escort you in, his hand on the small of your back. You sat down on the sofa next to him, and set the plate of good-will-bribery cookies down on the coffee table between you and the journalist. She politely refused, at least until the recording was over, but instantly seemed more relaxed, loosing her death-vice on the recorder. You quietly leaned your head on Frederick’s shoulder and discreetly clasped his hand on the cushion between you through the rest of the interview, which he spent blushing and unable to maintain the coldness of his stare.

You brought out a side of him few were able to see. Whenever you made an appearance during his book promotions, the article published was always just a bit more favorable.

  *****

“Gotta go!” you called across the house, slinging a pack over your shoulders. Dawn was barely cresting the purple sky, and Frederick was barely awake. He didn’t even have his prosthetic maxilla in yet; he was only up to say goodbye. “I’m going to be in the field for ten hours straight today!” You thought about that for a moment, and groaned with anticipated exhaustion. 

“You have water?” 

“Yes, mom.”

“You cannot blame me for worrying,” he smiled with some pride at his gallant adventurer. You were wild in ways he would never understand, and it terrified as much as thrilled him. He smoothed a few wrinkles out of your shirt—a rugged garment for outdoor wear—and said you looked presentable enough for what you were doing. You kissed him, and wished him luck with the book signing he was attending that day. 

He wandered into the kitchen to search for breakfast, when an idea occurred to him.

“Take some of my meal-replacement bars,” he offered, opening the pantry. He had the organic superfood detox variety that he was able to digest. 

“I already did, thanks!”

He sighed with annoyance. “I noticed. It looks like an animal went through the packaging.”

“You love me,” you grinned cheekily in the doorway.

He prowled up to you, eyes narrow, trapping you against the door. He growled. He wrapped his arms around you and buried his face in the crook of your neck, kissing you and sucking a small bruise just under your collar. Yeah, he loved you. You purred, arching your back so you were pressed more firmly against him, and breathed in his scent. If only you didn’t have to leave.

“Come home safe.”

  *****

Halloween was your favorite holiday. Perhaps it was gauche for one involved in investigating real murders, and real dead people, but then, that might have been what made it so appealing—on Halloween, all the blood was corn syrup, the skeletons danced to 80’s rock, and the serial killers wore their identities on their sleeves and carried plastic weapons. It had been your favorite holiday as a kid, and it still was.

“No.”

“Please?” you begged, drawing out the E. “It would be so awesome!”

“No.”

“But—”

“I am a bestselling author. An esteemed expert in my field. I will not be subjected to such an undignified, childish display.”

“But you would have the best costume and nobody would know!”

He wasn’t sure how you talked him into it. It must have those adorable pleading eyes he could never resist, or the enticing appeal to his ego that it would be an extraordinary costume, certain to leave everyone guessing how the effect was done. Somehow, he was walking into a Halloween party as a zombie. Without his contact lens or prosthetic jaw.

He frowned. It was humiliating.

You were dressed as an apocalypse survivor with an infected bite, and were hamming it up, telling the other guests you were fine, totally fine, with a shaky panic-edged voice and a tremor in your limbs. You had done an impressive job on the makeup, too, giving your complexion a sallow haze and reddened eyes. The bite itself was a gory masterpiece constructed from latex and tissue paper, with dark veins spider-webbing up your arm.

He didn’t have to ham it up. He only needed to walk in the room and Shrek and Fiona, Pennywise the clown, and a sexy velociraptor all gasped in horror at his face. How was that meant to make him feel?

“So cool!” someone said before he could turn on his heel and walk out of there. Words like, “There isn’t a contest, is there? I should have put in more effort,” and “did you hire a movie SFX artist? No fair,” started to get tossed around—including toward costume elements that you had designed and had nothing to do with his natural grotesqueness. Then they offered him a drink and moved on to the next impressive costumes and regular party chatter.

You were right. Nobody knew it was real, and while it stung to be stared at and called grisly—you would later apologize profusely for being too gung-ho and not thinking through what would happen—he had never imaged being able to have a normal conversation in public with his real face exposed. There was something daringly vulnerable about it. He had never imagined not being ashamed, but at least in this niche context, his old injury made him the leading man of the evening.

By the end of the night he got so into it, he was chasing you around snarling for your brains, and getting a kick out of scaring trick-or-treaters.

  *****

He took you to Paris for Valentine’s day. Last time it was Italy, and you strangely suspected he was touring the shadow of Hannibal Lecter as much as he was trying to impress you. You had suspected, that is, until you asked, and he rather bluntly admitted to it. He hadn’t expected you not to notice by the time you got to Florence, although Venice had been purely about romance (he loved all those touristy gondola rides that he swore he hated and were just for your benefit).

Now that he finally had the chance to lavish his considerable means upon someone, he was throwing himself heart and soul into the holiday, and would not stop until he had spoiled you senseless. When he was single and accustomed to spending the day alone, he used to loathe February 14th—Valentine’s had seemed a cruel joke directed specifically at him. He couldn’t even spitefully ignore it by staying late at work, because the more perceptive inmates always took notice.

“You do not know hell,” he told you, “until a man convicted of raping his mother’s severed head taunts you about your lack of sex life.”

This year, he treated you to everything Paris had to offer: the Louvre, Notre Dame, an opera at Palais Garnier, a morning stroll through the gardens of Versailles, delicious bakeries, cafes, chocolate, and macrons. You insisted upon seeing the Catacombs, of course.

When you went to the Eiffel Tower and he showed up with roses and dinner reservations for sunset in its refined first-floor restaurant, your gut clenched. You were terrified he was going to propose. Of course he would make a grand gesture! You carefully inspected every champagne glass for hidden engagement rings, but found only bubbles. After dinner, when you ascended to the top of the tower to watch Paris light up at night, you knew that was when the proposal was coming.

But it didn’t. And you found yourself disappointed.

You had never talked about it, so there was no reason to assume it was something he wanted. It seemed far too soon to you, too, until it was snatched away and you realized that after three years together, you still couldn’t imagine wanting a life without him in it.

Arriving home at last, you breathed a sigh of relief into the still air. Paris was exciting and rich with history, but you were glad to be home in the peaceful familiarity of that snobbishly oversized house with its ridiculously spiraling staircases and its somewhat-less-fastidiously-pristine rooms, which now accommodated both of your things. All of the picture frames that once held impersonal stock photos displayed real snapshots of your lives together.

You weren’t even going to shower. You were so tired, you just wanted to rip all your clothes off and drop into bed. Frederick pulled his tie off. Hair frumpy from the long plane and taxi rides, his fingers worked to undo the top buttons of his shirt as he lumbered to the bath. He stopped at the door and turned back. You were taking a sip of water before leaving the cup on your nightstand.

“Marry me?” he said.

[saintheartwing]

Invader Zim: The Pigshit Troll, Part Three

"So it's coming from Dad's lab?"

Gaz was now very intrigued indeed. She sat across from Dib in the living room as he pulled open his laptop, Gaz pulling open a can of "Mountain Spew" and drinking away. Dib glanced over at the black can, raising an eyebrow. "Yeah…but why are you drinking that new flavor? Aren't you more into the original?"

"Yeah, but I wanna give the new flavor a try and I gotta be honest, it ain't bad for a zero calorie soda. It tastes like the way Mountain Spew used to way back in the day. A LOT better than their diet one, I'll tell ya that." Gaz remarked. "And it ain't given me diarrhea yet, so that's a plus."

Dib did the very best he could to suppress his laughter. When it came to Gaz's diet, her constantly going to Bloaty's Pizza Hog had real consequences. The cheese round the clock was getting her blocked, but when the levee finally broke, well…frankly, so did the toilet. Many, many times. And she would make him clean it.

There had been a positive to this though. Dib was now amazingly good at plumbing and mechanical engineering and he was actually picking up some decent money loaning his services out to the neighborhood as a plumber…provided nobody told the local trade unions about what he was up to, because compared to them, he was real cheap. So now he could afford a VERY nice laptop with all the bells and whistles as he showed it off to Gaz.

"Yeah, the IP address was traced back to Dad's lab. Unfortunately, I can't track it down to the very computer, Dad does have enough security in place to keep me from seeing that and no way am I risking jail time by cracking that open. They almost busted me last month when Dad tried to install the "Parental Controls" on our new television and I don't want Officer Krupke giving me that lecture again."

Indeed, in one of the very few times Dib and Gaz had been bound by common strife and pledged to work together for a common good, Professor Matthew Membrane had installed parental controls on their television because he was concerned about the damage being done to them from exposure to new Netflix series. Especially with all the brand new true crime dramas popping up all the time, it turned out to be something both Dib AND Gaz positively loved, the chase, the investigation, the grisly details, it was so engaging. They would watch together on the couch, eyes glued to the screen, binge-watching for hours and hours and then eagerly chatting about ALL they'd seen at dinner.

Well, Membrane had been determined to stop them from having their minds all twisted up by violence and at first it worked really well.

"C'mon! I wanna watch "The Ken and Barbie Killers!"

"Fat chance. You're gonna watch Cupcake Wars and you're gonna like it."

"Damn it, lemme watch Don't F—k with Cats, it's a classic!"

"No way. You're going to watch "Masterpiece Theatre"."

"Well…if it's got Patrick Stewart in it that might not be so-"

"Featuring Brian Blessed in the star role of Macbeth!"

"OH GOD NO!"

"Hey, what gives?!"

"That's enough cartoons for you today. You're gonna watch some Animal Planet…no, wait. Better. C-Span. It's good to be involved in politics these days."

"Oh c'mon, it's just hearings on air traffic controllers! You fiend!"

So finally, Gaz had insisted Dib get rid of the thing.

"I'd be risking major jail time!"

"Dib…it's recording the best of Fuller House."

"…I'll go get my screwdriver."

Dib had indeed almost got caught and had to listen to a very irritating lecture from the police. It was rather astounding they got to the house so quick over that, but whenever Dib tried to let them know Zim was up to something, it was "Yeah, we'll get to you when we can".

The good news was the parental controls issue got solved soon enough. Professor Membrane himself decided to get rid of it, saying that though he was worried about the things they were watching, it was his job, not some machine's, to judge and curate what his children saw.

Translation: the parental controls wouldn't let him watch "The Mandalorian" because it was too violent.

"Well can we look up who's working at Dad's laboratory who might have a grudge against you?" Gaz asked as Dib grinned.

"Luckily, that's not protected health information, Dad lists all the employees on the website and under "Contact Us"!" He remarked as his fingers flew across the keyboard and he then turned the laptop to fully show Gaz the list. "Look at who's listed? Keef, of all people is one of the assistants, he's an intern!"

"Hmm. I've always thought there's something off about him…and his stories, well…" Dib cringed.

Keef was definitely, one hundred percent not allowed to write anything even remotely close to sexual. The school had no problem with stories about, say…Zim skinning people alive in one of HIS work. For some reason, that was just fine. Oh, but a bit of soft sex, nakedness? No no no no no! Bad!

But Keef had found a way around that and did stories with lots of innuendo, and a ton…a ton of stories involving Dib, Gaz, Zim…and romance. He called the ones between Zim and Dib "ZADR" and with Gaz and Zim "ZAGR". You could find them cute if you were into that sort of thing, after all, many were astoundingly well written, lovingly detailed, and your heart would begin racing as you kept reading his creative writing tales.

But Dib didn't much like the idea. For one, Zim was over 150, he was waaaaay too old for either him…or Gaz. Two, EW. Three, a lot of the stories had Dib's own personality being ignored just so he could smooch it up with Zim! It didn't come across as a natural evolution or a progression or character development that made sense, it was just "I want this person here, so I'm just going to force them to be there, even if it makes no sense, because the plot is pretty much porn".

Gaz, however, kinda thought it was cute in a funny sort of way. She also knew it wasn't like Dib had never thought about kissing Zim, Dib was still discovering himself, after all, and he had had dreams about…that sort of thing.

"And there's Mr. Elliot!" Dib added. "Wow, why did he decide to work there?"

Gaz smirked and chuckled inwardly. Nobody would EVER know how she got rid of him, and she wasn't gonna tell anyone. And if she wanted you out of your job at the school, it would happen. Now, there were three ways to stop her from doing what she do.

…what? You think imma TELL you?

"He could have finally snapped." Gaz mused aloud. "I mean, when the nice ones snap…they really, really go wild. It's the nice guys you need to watch out for, you can trust a jerk to always be a jerk. But when a decent person goes bad, they go baaaaaad."

"Yeah, that's possible." Dib confessed. "Hmm. Look, our janitor works there too." He murmured. "Johnny."

…Johnny. The one and only Johnny. A slim, slender man, messy black hair that was just downright ugly and grimy. A pale body, sunken eyes, and he smelled strange too, like meat that had been left out on the counter for far too long. He liked making little snappy remarks at people too.

"Did you wash the bathrooms like we asked?"

"I'll wash the walls with your blood!"

"Well before you do that, wash the bathrooms."

On top of that, there were rumors that he caked blood on the walls of his janitorial closet to feed a monster that laid within. He was always seen sinisterly smoking at the very edge of school property at night, an anti-social, creepy figure indeed. Him being the actual troll…it wasn't unreasonable to think of Johnny, curled up in his closet, hunched over his laptop, spewing hate out into the world.

"Wait. Wait, wait, wait, look!" Gaz pointed at one of the names. "…Tassirak. That girl's name's Tassirak Doe."

Dib frowned, and he examined the photo that went with the name. "Doe" was a common name for a dead body you hadn't identified and-wait. Wait. Those eyes. The facial structure. The hair may have been different, the skin tone less pale, but Dib recognized those eyes instantly, and that faint Mona Lisa smile too.

And he knew that name, because Tak, Irken Invader, had divulged that to him.

Dib had gotten really close to Tak when she'd first arrived, the purple-haired British-accented girl had been charming, intelligent and clever, and they'd had similar interests. He'd soon spent weeks with her, the two just…talking. Making fun of Zim, chatting about their favorite books and movies they'd read, sharing stories about adventures out in the wild…

And of course, that Valentine's Day dance. "No, no. One-two-three, swing! One-two-three, swing!" Tak had insisted to him.

"Ouch! Don't drag me!"

Her lessons on dancing were harsh but in truth, that time spent with Tak had probably been the happiest he'd ever been.

And that's how he should have known it was a lie. Because Dib knew he wasn't meant to be happy. He'd known that…for a long time.

She'd revealed her real name. They'd eaten lunches and even a dinner or two together. Seen movies and he'd walked her home. And then, just a few days later, she'd turned out to be an Irken invader.

It had hurt. A lot. He'd lost a friend. And maybe someone more. It had really…really hurt.

"Does SHE have an account on the website?" Dib murmured as he examined the school's creative writing website. "…oh wow, yeah, she does, she's using her old username and password she got when she first enrolled, there's not much, but they're there. Wow." He examined them. "She wields metaphors like blunt instruments. You can feel Tak in every single sentence, so much of it is in first person and there is a lot of really biting, cynical wit in here. It feels almost nihilistic. And it's super petty, too. A lot of really nasty stuff happening to folks she doesn't like."

"Wow, one story has her as the Tallest." Gaz remarked. "…damn, she cooked and ate the last ones. That's hardcore scary."

"It's beautifully written though, I'd like to shake her hand than recommend her to therapy." Dib admitted. "I mean, she's going into really grisly detail on every minute they die. She must be super bitter. I don't even wanna imagine what happens to Zim when she updates this story, she just finished catching him and she's got him tied up in…Japanese rope bondage? She's into BDSM?"

"The safe word is "eine kleine nachtmusik"." Wow, somebody's letting their inner Hannibal Lecter out, alright." Gaz said with a whistle. "…still, I kinda WANT her to update just to see what happens. It's like watching a train wreck, you kinda can't look away."

"It could definitely be here. We need to go to the lab and sneak onto those computers. If they saved their work on them at any point, I could prove they were behind it." Dib reasoned.

"I dunno, Dib. Not sure I wanna help you with this. I mean, don't get me wrong, it's not really fun anymore watching you get dragged again and again for what the troll's doing, but…" She shrugged. "I mean, it's not my problem."

"What if I paid you?" Dib offered as Gaz rubbed her chin.

"…keep talking, Mr. Moneybags."

"My new job is paying me verrrrry well. To plant roses, I've shoveled a lot of manure, as it were." Dib remarked. "So how about it? Is there a new game you want me to buy?" He offered as Gaz thought to herself.

"Hmm. Well…now that you mention it, there is one game that's coming out that I really want. It's Sekiro: Shadows Die Thrice. Comes out in a week. You buy me that, I'll come with you."

"Deal." Dib insisted.

And so, Dib and Gaz made their way to Professor Membrane's lab that weekend as a quilt of dark clouds obscured their stealthy approach. Slinking on inside through the ventilation shaft as Dib temporarily looped the footage of the nearby camera watching the southern side of the laboratory, they crept through the vents and finally deposited themselves in, of all places, Johnny's closet in the lab.

There was a laptop there, hidden by a bucket. Gaz picked it up, gazing through it as she nodded over at Dib. "I'll look over this one, you go look for Keef's. Then we'll meet back here in…half an hour and go look for Mr. Elliot and Tak's."

"Deal." Dib said with a nod, quickly exiting the closet, getting his camera-hacking tool ready as it was clasped tight around his wrist. The lab was almost utterly closed for the moment, most people were heading home, there was just a skeleton crew left over. This meant it was easy for Dib to sneak around, avoiding spots in the security camera's vision and using his hacking tool to loop footage when he couldn't.

At long last, he reached a work station, the same station Keef had been said to be working at, since the website had said he was paired with a "Dr. Jones". Dib looked about, listening intently. No cameras here, and nobody was inside or anywhere nearby. So he slunk over to the computer and booted it up.

Ha! Keef had been the last one to use the PC, his username was on display. And Dib had a feeling he could guess the password.

Yep! Sure enough, it was "ZADRZAGR". "Oh, Keef…ya basic." Dib chuckled as he looked over Keef's internet history and-

"…hoooooo boy."

Well, Keef definitely, one hundred percent was not the one who sent the reviews. But now Dib knew where Keef got so much help in…inspiration…for his work. He had no idea Keef swung that way!...and that way, AND that way and THAT way.

"Well, um…whatever does it for you, Keef." Dib decided, quickly deciding to erase the internet history and log off, shaking his head. Meanwhile, Gaz had finally guessed Johnny's password. She'd had a feeling it was "Mammon" and yep…it was Mammon. Johnny may have been a loyal, devoted Satan-worshipping weirdo…but he wasn't very smart. He'd left a post it note reminding himself to change his last password since it was too easy to guess, and he needed a better one, and to pick a better demon lord. Unluckily for him, not only had he tossed that post it note in the trash can in the very closet Gaz was in, she'd realized the password hint immediately. "Greed is Good". Well, there were a few Demon lords best known for Greed and one of the best had been what she'd picked.

PING! She was in. And my oh my, Johnny had been a naughty boy. He'd taken selfies to share on the Internet of him and the bloody wall he caked gore on, selfies he was sharing on the Dark Web. Nasty stuff indeed. One particularly "funny" one showed him making a kind of macabre "snowman" on the wall with some exposed ribs and a bashed in nose and two eyes burned up like coals!

And then there were his uploads to "Bestgore". Yeccchhh. Gaz was fine with dooming the deserving wretches, but Johnny was just an outright creep about this-

Wait.

Wait, was that a cat?

He wouldn't.

…he WOULDN'T-

Gaz's mouth fell open and then she darkly glowered, shutting the video off and going through the rest of the janitor's internet history. No, he wasn't the one leaving those reviews. But he was guilty, alright. Just not of the sin Dib thought he was guilty of.

A few minutes later, Dib knocked on the closet door and she exited it, giving Dib a solemn look. "He's not the one. He's a piece of shit, but he's not the one."

Dib could see something was very, very wrong, Gaz had a look on her face he'd only seen when she'd seen crime specials on killers who hurt animals. He thought it best not to ask about it. "I understand. It isn't Keef, either. He's into a lot…but not into that sort of thing."

So now it came time to check the other computer stations. Luckily for them, both Mr. Elliot and Tak were working in the same wing.

Unluckily for them, they were still there. A fact the two found out when they opened the door…

Just in time to see Mr. Elliot AND Tak currently hunched over a computer screen. "What the?!" Dib gasped out as the two wheeled around, seeing Dib and Gaz, staring in surprise as Dib and Gaz looked behind them and-

…Jackass? They were watching Jackass videos?

"You're into those stupid stunt videos where the guys get, like, basketballs bounced onto their balls after they're launched onto trampolines?" Gaz inquired as Tak and Mr. Elliot deeply blushed, Dib racing over to the computer, gaping at the sight before his eyes. He couldn't believe it.

"But it's so…lowbrow! So…STUPID!" He remarked aloud.

"But it's funny." Mr. Elliot said with a shrug. "I can't help it, I find it funny."

"Yeah, something about it simply clicked with me." Tak admitted. "I mean, I do enjoy watching stupid humans suffering for my amusement."

"Yeah, the Germans have a term for it. Schadenfreude." Mr. Elliot confessed. "Happiness at the misfortune of others." He added as Dib looked through their internet history. Yeah, they'd hadn't left the reviews either. All that work, all that effort for…nothing! Except now he knew stuff about his classmates he really, REALLY wish he could unlearn.

"It's not that funny." Gaz said, though she chuckled as she saw a video of Johnny Knoxville soaring off a motorcycle and into a ball pit, groaning loudly…because he was butt naked when he did it. "Okay, maybe a LITTLE funny."

"Sometimes you just wanna indulge in something nice, simple and a bit stupid. Not everything has to be Shakespeare, after all. It fills a need and it doesn't really harm anyone." Tak remarked. "Well, except them, but they get paid for it, so…" She shrugged.

Dib moaned. "Damn it. Damn it, damn it, damn it. I thought for SURE…"

"You're really not that Pig Shit troll, huh?" Tak wondered aloud. "I thought maybe you were doing some kind of false flag, Dib, but…no, it really isn't you." She commented dryly. "Hmm. Well, best of luck with that. Unless another classmate of yours, like, pees their pants or something in front of everyone in school, nobody's going to forget this anytime soon. The good news is that people have short memories. A month or two passes by, and you'll be fine. Folks are like GOLDFISH. Best and worst thing about them!" She laughed.

"…yeah, maybe if I slip Zim some ex-lax under the guise of it being a candy bar I can trick him into taking from me…" Dib mumbled as he slunk out of the room. "This sucks. This totally sucks."

"Cheer up, tomorrow Dad's going to treat us to breakfast, remember?" Gaz offered. "You always like that." She told him as they headed out the office door and down the hall to exit out of the building.

"Yeah, him making his pancake and eggs combo with bacon always-"

Dib stopped. Wait.

…wait.

Could it be?

"…I need to check one more computer." He quietly muttered at Gaz, his voice sounding cold and dead.

…

…

…

… "You liking your delicious breakfast, son?" Professor Membrane asked as Gaz stared at Dib, waiting for the other shoe to drop. He'd said absolutely nothing since their Dad had begun making breakfast and now he was halfway through his meal when he slowly finished chewing and looked up.

"…it's really nice." Dib remarked. "Can I ask you something, Dad?" Dib wanted to know, as he put the fork down and folded his hands in his lap.

"Of course, son! Anything!" Professor Membrane said as Dib took in a long, deep breath.

"Why did you do it? Why did you do those reviews?"

Professor Membrane dropped the plate of bacon he had in his black-gloved hands, looking astounded. Dib went on, speaking quietly. Softly. Soft…but with an edge.

"I thought about it, long and hard. I remembered you were the one who encouraged me to come see you if I kept having problems. The IP address was also traced back to your lab. And then I thought about how…ridiculous the reviews were. They were so badly written but…not badly written enough for someone in my class to have done it. I mean, even a 9 year old knows not to write in all caps. It had to be somebody older, trying to be over the top. And then when I checked your computer, just to be sure…I found out…yes. It was you." He remarked. "…so Dad…why'd you do it?"

Professor Membrane sighed as he sat down at the table, and held his head in his hands. "I…I did want to try and…push you into my arms, as it were. That if I put a little pressure on you in your school setting, you'd keep coming back to me to talk about how you felt. It allowed me to feel like I was the only person you could truly trust, and that felt good. But it wasn't just that, I…" He took a deep breath. "It was…funny to write those reviews. Sometimes it just feels good to be…so lowbrow and coarse and nasty." He admitted. "It was like I tapped into some dark, twisted part of me that'd I'd been ignoring for so long, and when I finally got a chance to let it run wild, it felt amazing!"

He rose up a little and went on. "I have the weight of the world on my shoulders. I need ways to unwind myself. I didn't really think I was actually doing any harm. Or maybe…I didn't want to believe it, because I didn't really mean all the things I said, so how could it be anything that bad?" He murmured as Dib took off his glasses, Gaz taking in a short, sharp breath.

Dib never…ever did that. Him doing that meant he must have been really furious.

"…I don't think I want to talk to you for a while, Dad." He quietly muttered.

"…I thought as much." His father sighed as they sat across from one another in silence at the breakfast table, and Gaz quietly sipped on her orange juice.

Come the next day, it was a school day again, and Dib was making his way down the hallway before he overheard a rather familiar accusation.

"I'm telling you, he's writing about your fic in his fic. He's trashing your fic and making fun of it and you as a writer. He's a troll but pretends he isn't and just blames it on another troll when he keeps trolling."

Dib turned around, seeing Zita talking to the Letter M and he frowned a bit as he stared at the girl and the African American boy she was talking to.

"You know, you're just plain wrong." He said aloud, as other kids began to look at him. "It was my dad all this time. Not me. And I don't really care if you don't believe me. I've said my piece. You don't like it, tough." He told her, walking off.

"You think that'll convince us?"

"No. But maybe there's no point in casting pearls before swine." Dib said with a shrug as he walked off. "And people like you who just plug their ears and won't listen to any counterarguments are real pigs indeed." He remarked as he walked off, Gaz walking alongside him.

"Pearls before swine, huh? Nice Bible quote." She remarked. "But I wouldn't be too worried. Tak was right. Just wait a month or so, folks will forget."

"Oh, I don't doubt it. I thought about sneaking Ex-Lax to Zim but…I'm not going to lower myself to that." Dib insisted. "Even if it would be really funny."

"Well, I've got something that'll cheer you up." Gaz offered. "I copied the videos Johnny the Homicidal Maniac did for the dark web and I sent it to the police and now he's in jail! So we're gonna need a new janitor."

Dib stopped in the hall. "…wait, is this because of how good I am at plumbing now? Look, there's no way I can be the new janitor. I'll be a laughingstock! Dib, the janitor!"

"Yeah…but you will get keys to every single room in the school." Gaz added. "And paid twice what those neighbors pay you."

Dib chewed his lip. "…well…when you put it like that…I mean, it would be nice to be able to literally go anywhere I want in the school at any time…and I could use the dough…"

"You could rig the toileeeeets so that they always act uuuuuup whenever Zim goes to use iiiiiit." Gaz added in a faint, singsong voice.

"…I KNEW there was a reason I respected you." Dib said with a big grin.

[unboundpen]

Pandemonium [1/3?]

[Next]

Fandom: Batman

Characters: Jason Todd, Damian Wayne, Alfred Pennyworth

Pairing: JasonDamian

Rated: T

Warnings: Damian is aged up, should be in college.

Summary: 

After being away from Earth for a while, Jason notices that Damian is a lot more attention-grabbing than before. Eh, growing attractions are nothing....Right?

Read on AO3

A/N: So it’s been many years since I’ve truly sat down and finished writing a fic. Life has been hectic, I lost my mojo to continue writing, then went back to school and it pretty much consumed my life. Anyways, this was written based off of what @batboys-batboys-whachu-gonna-do had posted almost a year ago and I caught wind of it. It’ll be two or three chapters depending on if I’m up for writing smut with this fic. I said I was going to write something and then went MIA again. Anyways comment on ao3 or send me an ask or reblog with reactions if you guys enjoyed it. I’m very rusty, so go easy on me.

Jason isn’t even sure if he should be out patrolling Gotham tonight. He’s so dead tired that he feels himself get heavier on the cable he’s currently swinging on. Kori had landed the ship back on Earth the night before and if he were to be completely honest with himself, he should have just stayed in bed. The idea of sleeping for a few years before even thinking about getting back into normal everyday crime fighting was really starting to seem like the better option. And yet... here he was, swinging from building to building, looking out into the city he always called home.

Exhaustion crept heavily through his body. It made his vision blur and had been severe enough to make him go cross-eyed a few times. He scrubs at his face, trying to chase the fatigue away as he second-guesses his decision to patrol tonight -feeling the worn leather of his gloves rub against anywhere not covered by the domino mask. It had been a slow night anyway…but just as he reaches out to shoot another line to change his path back to the designated safe house for the night, he hears the very distinct but familiar sound of people getting beaten up in an alley.

Jason follows the sounds of muted groans and painful hits landing -and then sudden silence- until he drops down to the scene of unconscious baddies being zip-tied by another mask in the shadows. He surveys the destruction and lets out a low whistle while toeing one of them by the leg.

"Guess you didn't need any backup."

He hears a familiar snort, "I hardly ever do. It's only five men."

Jason looks over at the figure in the shadows and watches as they stand up and walk over to him. His eyes widen behind the mask.

There stood Robin in all his Robin-y glory. His eyes rake over Robin's form, noticing that the uniform had been adjusted to fit not just his height but also the lithe bulk he had also gained. It reminded him of a certain acrobat they both knew. It was close but not quite. He would have thought this was someone else who had taken on the mantle, but the same minute details were there: hooded cape encasing his head, sword, and sheath at his side, and the ever useful and painful clawed spikes that protruded from the kid's gloves. Not to mention the air of annoying haughtiness that only came from being the direct heir to Bruce Wayne.

"I gotta say, you certainly shot up from the last time I saw you." He feels his lips stretch into a grin.

"-Tt- It was inevitable."

"Nonetheless," Jason pauses to do another slow look, "you look good for someone who is supposed to be suffering through puberty."

"Considering my parentage, it has come as no surprise." Robin answers simply before reaching into his belt for a few more zip ties and holds them out to Jason, "Make yourself useful, Hood, and get those two."

Jason blinks, taking the offered items unconsciously. He half expected the kid to react a bit differently, maybe even get a little flustered. Jason certainly thought so.

Jason frowns in contemplation as he maneuvers one of the thugs in front of him onto their front, restraining the unconscious man with one of the ties before moving onto the next one. He hears the faint sound of bodies being dragged into a pile.

"So, what's a birdie like you doing in my neck of the woods anyway?"

"You were gone-"

“-Well, no shit," Jason interjects, shaking his head. Again reminded of how tired he really was. He looks over at the other mask currently frowning at Jason and arms crossed.

"You were gone," the other mask emphasizes loudly, as if admonishing Jason's interruption, "henceforth I took it upon myself to patrol your area until you got back."

"I guess no one told you I got back yesterday?”

“On the contrary, Father already has a written report of your return in the system."

Jason sighs, “Of course he has,” he opts to rub his eyes through the mask, "Guess I tripped the alert system he has over my known locations?”

“Actually,” Robin pauses, tilting his head to the side as the sound of sirens faintly begin to sound around them and then reaches up to shoot a line up one of the buildings.

Jason watches him glide up through the air, admiring the fluidity of the movement before he follows. Once he lands next to the bird, Robin continues, “Superman alerted father of your return.”

Jason grunts and crosses his arms thoughtfully. That wasn’t a surprising thing either. Clark had always been watchful of him even while he was still wearing the cape and green panties. Even the thought that the super could be listening in on their conversation caused a shiver to run all throughout Jason’s body. Before he could even say anything, Robin moves to the other side of the building without another look at Jason.

“I trust you have the rest handled from here, Red Hood,” Robin says flippantly over his shoulder. The older man watches silently as the Robin turns around, gives him a nod, then hauls himself over the raised concrete and over the other side of it.

And with that Robin is gone, leaving no trace of himself except in Jason’s mind.

xXx

It’s about four days later before Jason feels himself get comfortable with his place in Gotham again. He’s well rested now, but he realizes with the year or so he’s been away, his files aren’t up-to-date. It was one thing if a few robberies occurred here or there, but when he’s heard of several incidents involving a certain mob boss who had been steadily moving into his territory, he figures he needs to get on that asap. He doesn’t rely too much on the other members of the bat family, but he would have expected that the files would be constantly updated while he was away. It was most likely that Tim was more busy with the Titans and Babs was preoccupied with other things. Thus he finds himself parking his bike in the bat cave.

If there was one thing that Jason expects to not change significantly, it would be the cave. The same old giant penny and t-rex were in their respective spaces. The only things ever changing were all the tech that got recycled every now and then. He surveys the area, noting that he was the only one there in this moment. He makes it a point to himself to ignore the glass case holding a certain uniform.

Jason strolls over to the computer, booting it up and realizes that the program was updated when the screen prompts for a password. He decides not to risk it as the memory of the last time he tried to flashes up in his mind.

The ink had stained his skin for weeks….

He wonders who is in the manor for a moment before he feels a presence at his side. Jason is a bit too surprised to even move away as the figure types in the password, a nonsensical password that would have been impossible to guess. And before he could stop himself, his eyes roam.

“Someone needs to put a bell on you,” he states absentmindedly.

Damian…looked really good. A short-sleeved, white, button-up shirt snug around his shoulders and upper body as he was crouching over the control panel. His head was looking up at the screen, neck stretched invitingly while watching it. Jason’s eyes slide down until he reaches the jeans that fit very nicely on Damian’s legs, enveloping his thighs and….

“-Tt- I anticipated your visit.” Damian types on the keyboard for a third password and then turns his head to stare back at Jason, “I updated the system for better security as requested by father while you were away.”

Jason feels his eyes still linger on the brat’s ass before looking up to meet Damian’s eyes. Oh boy….

The older man clears his throat; it was just dry all of a sudden. Hopefully, the kid didn’t catch him staring too much. "Three passwords is a bit much, don't ya think?" He utters weakly.

Damian shrugs before straightening up, and Jason catches himself staring harder, to the point of his eyes crossing. He shuts his eyes for a moment and opts for making a show of rubbing his forehead as if he was exasperated by the nuisance.

“Alright, well, I should probably be put in the system again. Gotta catch up on what I missed and all that.” Jason waves his hand as he opens his eyes.

Damian hums thoughtfully. “That will not be difficult. However, I’m not sure if father has granted permission to give you access.”

The older man chokes out a laugh, “Oh Babybat, I get access one way or another. I only get locked out when shit like this happens. And last I remember you’re not one to ask for daddy’s permission on a lot of things.”

The younger man's eyes narrow while his lips morph into a frown.“I am not," he answers, "I-It’s a compromise for allowing me to patrol by myself. Besides, why should I believe that you’re allowed in the system?”

Jason grins. This wouldn't be the demon spawn if he didn't give any push back. “The replacement can vouch for that. And I got some downtime so if you really need to ask Bruce for the go ahead, I can stay here in the meantime and catch up with what I really need.”

“That will not be necessary, Father is predisposed at the moment. Getting any sort of response from him will not come till much later tonight, most likely a few minutes before he arrives back here,” Jason opens his mouth to say that wasn’t really a problem but Damian continues, “I have a meeting with a colleague in an hour. Thus leaving you here in the manor by yourself is not a wise choice. I can give you the files that you need -that is if you have a USB drive on you.”

Jason can’t help but feel a bit offended from that.

“Okay first,” Jason points a finger at the kid, “I can very much well click and drag files onto a thumb-drive just fine. Second, I’m pretty sure I can handle myself if I were alone. I’ve been managing that for the past few years now thank you very much. Third, wouldn’t Alfred be here anyway?”

Damian snorts and allows himself to lean on the control panel. And by God, if Jason doesn't feel his face heat up even more as he tries to maintain eye contact. “Getting the files is a bit more convoluted than that, Todd. Pennyworth has the day off. And I was very much alluding to this incident.” He reaches down to press a button -just one, Jason notices- without looking away before the screen flickers to the start of a video.

Jason looks up and realizes just what incident he was talking about once the sound echoes through the cave.

A much younger Jason balanced on the banister of the staircase, on the second floor, dressed in the Robin uniform, green panties, and pixie boots and all, while reading a few lines from Peter Pan out loud as he walks from one end to the other.

“I thought I deleted this.”

Damian tuts, “You know very well that my father had installed a program to reverse any erasures. He may be aware of this or he may not, but I am not the only one that knows of this video’s existence.”

Was he-? Holy fuck the kid was smirking. He definitely had this on retainer.

Jason glares at him.

Damian pauses the video and presses another button which causes a red circle to appear on the screen. “Cain mentioned that you start to get pretty confident with yourself here.” Damian presses play again and then pauses it at another point in the video. “She also said that this was where your balance starts to go off, and I’m inclined to agree."

“Who else-“

“-Brown commented that you get a little pitchy here.”

The video continues to play out and then Jason watches his younger self start to fall and struggle for the grappling hook on his belt and shoot it at the other end of the room.

“Drake stated that you should have been able to get to it quicker,” Jason continues watching, remembering the feeling of relief when he landed…until the chandelier fell with the loudest crash he’d ever heard in his life behind him, and now he is reliving that moment as the chandelier drops and breaks on the screen.

“And Alfred said that you had a difficult time cleaning up the thousands of pieces even when he got back home,” Damian pauses and then raises an eyebrow at him, "Really, Todd, a broom?"

“I couldn’t find the vacuum,” Jason growls out, feeling his face heat up even more now, but this time with begrudging embarrassment. He can’t even remember the last time he was this mortified and it was the kid -out of all people- that was teasing the hell out of him.

Damian seems to accept that answer for what it was and lets it go while still smirking that goddamn smirk.

And this is where Jason isn’t sure if he is angry, embarrassed or ...turned on? All three maybe? But he knows for sure that he was confused as hell at the turned on part no matter how small it may be. He’s gotta process this somewhat. And it’s a bit difficult to when the damned kid was standing right there.

Without another word, Jason turns and stalks towards his bike, resisting the urge to run to it.

“I didn’t take you for one to run away, Todd,” Damian calls out to him.

Jason shakes his head as he straddles his bike and flips the kid off before he starts it and heads back to his apartment.

xXx

It’s early in the morning and Jason finds himself laying on the rooftop of his apartment staring up at the starless sky, having smoked through one full pack of cigarettes and working his way through a second. He’s been done with patrol for over an hour now, so both the helmet and mask were off to the side...somewhere.

He closes his eyes as he takes an extra long drag of the lit cigarette held between his fingers. When he opens his eyes, there’s Robin standing over him with a frown.

“I find it hard to believe that you still smoke, Todd.”

Jason rolls his eyes hard as he takes another drag, “Oh look, Boy Wonder has come to save me from the perils of smoking."

Damian shakes his head before he holds out a fist over Jason and drops something onto the older man’s torso. Jason takes a hold of it in his other hand and brings it up to his field of vision.

A thumb-drive.

“The hell is this for?”

“You left before I could give you the files.”

“How do you know what files I needed?”

Damian sighs, “You are merely predictable when you need to be, Todd.”

“I’m hurt,” Jason mocks, throwing his hand over his chest and contorts his face into a pained expression. He half expects for Damian to just leave then and there, but is surprised when the kid opts to sit next to him. Jason turns his head to look at the kid and muses that he looks a lot smaller from this angle, almost like his eleven-year-old self with that scowl on his face.

"Father gave the go-ahead," the kid's scowl deepens when Jason blows another cloud of smoke up into the air, "for your access to the database."

The older man grins, “Told ya.”

There was a brief pause where Jason just continues to stare up at the sky peacefully. He can feel the kid’s eyes study him in a curious manner, no weight to it. He had to admit, it was nice. Typically when a bat clan member looked at him there was the usual range of emotions behind the gazes. With Dick, there was worry along with his need to use touch as comfort, often with a tentative hand that locked onto Jason’s shoulder. Most of the time it was heavy. Babs looked at him with a stoic expression but with the occasional fleeting recognition whenever he said something witty enough for her. To her, the rough around the edges but hopeful youth that he used to be was long gone, and in his place an almost stranger. Tim had just this hint of pity behind his mask of smiles. After forming a civil relationship that bloomed into this comfortable companionship, Jason had figured out that whatever Tim had researched on the older man would always be in the back of his mind.

And then there was Bruce. The head honcho. While Jason could say that their relationship was significantly better, he still couldn’t be around his old mentor for no more than an hour at most. There was only so much Jason could take from the disappointment behind that gaze. After those years when he was a teenager and the glinting amusement that Bruce looked at him with, he just could not stand the feeling of failure digging into and burrowing under his skin where it just spread throughout his body like an itching rash, getting worse with every minute till he felt like he could start to hyperventilate.

But then here was the son. At first, it was all just anger. Man, the kid was a tight ball of fury that tried to get at anyone that moved near him. Yeah sure it was annoying when it was aimlessly directed at anyone, but the intensity. He was actually impressed with how much the kid’s anger fueled him to do just about anything. And Jason had tested it with his goading, just to see how long Damian would last and just how far he was willing to go. Jason knew that feeling. He was familiar with it after he had crawled out of the grandfather’s pit. It was the only emotion he could latch onto that could keep him grounded. So he understood Damian’s confusion fueled rage. But now, even before Jason had left for a year, Damian’s looks had evolved into a feigned indifference, all just with the intent to study Jason more. If Jason were to pick anyone out of the bat clan, Damian was the least volatile on his psyche.

He feels Damian shift beside him for a moment before the kid sighed. “It would be a lot easier for me to give you access to the database if you let me into your apartment, Todd.”

“You could always just go in through the window.”

“That would be rude of me.”

And this is where Jason slowly turns his head so he can slow blink at the whites of Robin’s mask. They stay like that for a moment, neither of them moving. The older man waits, just wants to see if Damian knew how ridiculous that statement was coming from him of all people. But it never comes, just the blank look on his face. Jason feels like laughing in disbelief but opts for throwing his half cigarette to the side before reaching up to rub his face to keep his mouth from opening up to let out the bubbling of a laugh that was forming in the back of his throat.

Jason resists the urge to groan, the way that every aging adult does when they have to get up, as he shuffles slowly to his feet. He contemplates asking Roy for a long needed body cracking as he glances down at the kid, who was still sitting there.

"Come on then," Jason simply says and starts walking towards the fire escape.

He hears shuffling behind him. "What about your helmet?"

"Eh, I'll come back for it later," Jason responds as he starts to climb down the three floors before his apartment.

xXx

The cool breeze billows around Jason as he takes a single sip from the mug that had been set in front of him about 20 minutes ago. He scans the street lazily, knowing that the passing bell for the university would ring any minute now. He's not too sure why he's waiting for the kid, there was no emergency to the situation, he just felt drawn to approach him on his downtime.

The melodic sound of the bell rang throughout the air and almost immediately, students pour out of the entrances. Jason makes no rush to get up immediately. With the amount of kids coming out, it would be a lot more trouble to look for Damian now than it would after the crowd thins out in the next 10 minutes. And true to that prediction, the courtyard of the school is nearly empty as if there was some sort of repellent for college goers, said for a few stragglers. One of them being baby Wayne.

"What's this?" Jason whispers into the lip of his mug when he sees a redheaded woman jog her way to Damian's side. It doesn't take a lot for anyone to see the attraction to the kid. The lack of space between their arms, her big ass smile followed with one dimple in one cheek, and the admiring eyes had trained on him.

Jason couldn't help but think of Dick and Babs. But where Dick and Babs would be easy and open in public, Damian and this girl were...stunted... in a sense. The kid didn't have the puppy love-struck expression of a young adult, instead, he just looked charming. It was eerily similar to the charm Bruce used to work over the ladies at a charity event or something.

He gets up and crosses the street with his eyes still trained on the pair. He'll be honest with himself, it's something he can't really take his eyes off. Like he was watching a car crash. As he gets closer, he starts to hear a bit of their conversation.

"-this weekend?"

Damian pauses, looking thoughtful, then pulls out his phone, tapping the screen a few times. With his head lowered, the few strands of hair not held up by gel fall to his forehead, giving him a much more casual look. However, it's all disrupted when he runs a hand through his hair and looks back to her. Jason would have laughed at the audible hitch of breath from the girl if he wasn't distracted from the same action. "I have a few projects due next week, and then I have to help prepare for the hospital auction on Sunday."

She pouts, "Oh, that wouldn't happen to be the children's hospital, would it?"

"Yes," Damian ponders for a moment, "I believe your mother is on the guest list."

Jason catches her eyes and a bright tinge of pink stains her cheeks as she takes a small step away from Damian. The hellspawn doesn't even acknowledge Jason's presence and continues talking.

"If you attend, I could save you a dance." By god, he sounds sincerely earnest.

"I-I'll try to make it then...then," she blushes even harder, glancing back at Jason, "Bye, Damian." And then she hustles away.

It's almost scary when Damian's face drops into his natural faint scowl, directing it at Jason once she was out of sight

"You could have stayed away for a few minutes longer."

"Wanted to make out with your little girlfriend?" Jason teases, sidling over.

Damian scoffs, waving his hand flippantly, "Her mother is simple-minded. She donates more when she is in a good mood, and Leah attending is a major contributor. It's purely business."

Jason nods thoughtfully. That seems more on Damian's realm of doing things. There was always a motive. It was only natural that the kid would use the all good Wayne charm as another tool.

"So," Damian straightens, "what do you need, Todd?"

The older man mockingly places a hand over his heart, "Hurt, so very much hurt. Can't I just come see my younger bro without needing something?" He fakes wiping a tear from his cheek.

Damian rolls his eyes, "I'm hardly that,” then starts walking to exit the campus, but this time it's Jason that walks beside him.

"Okay let me correct you there. Your dad took me in so I grew up in that manor just the same as you, was fed by the same butler as you and if I had to draw a venn diagram of people we would consider family, " he gave a little air quote motion, "almost all of those people would be in the center."

"That is a very loose yet specific definition for brother."

Jason shrugs, "Yeah but that comes with the job. Anyways, yes you were right I do need something from you."

"What is it?"

"I need you to come work a case with me."

Damian raises an inquisitive brow at Jason, and that's not a good thing right now for the older man. "You could have sent a text or opt to shine an R up in the sky."

"True, but--Did you just make a joke?" And Jason is damned when the kid gave him a wry smirk that made him stumble in his boots. That was an interesting image in his head. Normally, Jason wouldn't think much of it if the kid were in the Robin gear, but out of the mask and with those bright baby blues and in civvies no less. The older man clears his throat and tries to alleviate some of the pressure in his pants inconspicuously as they stopped at the sidewalk. At this point, Jason has accepted that there is somewhat of an attraction to the kid. After that encounter in the Batcave, and furiously rubbing one out one, two, multiple times, it would be hard to deny it.

Jason coughs, reaching up to rub the back of his neck, "Anyways, yeah, it seems like you've taken up my section of the city while I was out, so it'd only make sense to ask you, ya know?"

The kid nods after a moment. "Tonight. I can meet you at one of your safe houses and you can debrief me on what you have in mind."

And just then a car rolls up and comes to a stop in front of them. Damian opens the door without missing a beat and slides into the passenger seat, revealing a familiar face in the driver's side.

Jason grins and gives a two finger salute, "Hey Alfred."

The old man gives Jason a fond smile, "Master Jason. I trust your trip went well?"

"Very."

"I will send you a message," Damian states, leaning over to grab onto the door handle and looking up at Jason through his thick lashes.

Jason's throat goes dry. He's almost sure that he's staring way too hard at the kid, whom to his credit doesn't flinch from it. So all Jason can manage is a quick nod. Then the door closes and watches the car drive and turn around a corner before he realizes that he wasn't breathing.

[micahhalpern4-blog]

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[writings-of-bored-gal]

Rehabilitation - 1

Bucky x Reader Series

Part 1/?

Summary: Steve believes she can help bring Bucky back to his old self, she’s not so sure.

Author’s Note: Hi all! Welcome to my new Bucky series! It’s going to be fairly slow burn, and this first chapter will probably be the longest one. I’m really excited as to where this is going, and i already have so many ideas: As always, requests, tag lists and asks are open! - Abby x

Permanent Tags: @vikingsandetc

Series tags: None yet- please let me know if you’d like to be tagged by replying to this post or sending me a message/ask!

Masterlist

__________________

The coffee shop was almost completely empty, the last few stragglers leaving as she cleaned the tables up after them. The summer meant that there were still tourists coming to visit the small seaside town rather than just the usual old women who came in for their daily natter.

She hadn’t planned on working in a coffee shop for this long in the South of England. She’d wanted to travel, but she didn’t get the chances that she’d expected after university and ended up working there to try and save up. She looked over at the half empty tip jar on the counter, with barely enough to get her to London, let alone any further.

Once everyone had finally left, she turned the sign in the window from open to closed and sat. The air was cool and the rain pattered against the windows. She went to the back of the store, throwing her cardigan over her shoulders. Her brows furrowed as the bell signalled someone else entering the cafe.

“I’m sorry, we’re actually closed.” She shouted, hanging up her apron and grabbing the keys, ready to go home and put her feet up at last.

“C’mon Y/N, you know you’ve got a spare slice of cheesecake for me.” A familiar voice shouted back. She grinned, running in and throwing her arms around Steve Rogers huge frame.

“I might do if I hadn’t seen your name all over the news.” She raised her eyebrows at him as she pulled away, but he wouldn’t look her in the eye. She sighed. “Sit down, I’m pretty sure we’ve got some left over in the back.”

She heard the sound of a solitary chair scraping the floor as Steve sat down. She went behind the counter to find two pieces of New York style cheesecake in the fridge. She smiled, pulling out a fork for each of them and taking them back over to where he waited quietly, typing something to someone on his phone. He stopped, putting it away when she sat down opposite him, tucking into the cheesecake almost straight away.

They ate in silence, something which they never did. They always had something to share with one another, but something stopped them this time.

She had been a tourist in New York when the attack had occurred. It was her first time leaving England, and she had been completely enchanted by the place until the aliens decided to ruin her holiday. She’d gotten away fairly lucky, just a broken leg, but it meant that she was stuck in America for longer than expected. The Avengers came to visit the hospital she was staying in, and she got on so well with Steve that she gave him her number so he could call her if he was ever in England, which he was surprisingly often.

For Steve, she was his break from being a ‘hero’. She never expected anything from him apart from phone calls to tell her he was okay and the occasional visit. It made him feel normal. No one in her little town really knew who he was apart from the occasional old man who would give him a salute. Her life was simple, and simple was something Steve missed.

“I need to ask you something, you can say no, but…” Steve pushed away his plate and leaned forward. His steely blue eyes met hers and she knew she wouldn’t be able to say no, no matter what he was about to ask her. “I have a friend, in Wakanda, he’s kind of unsteady and I think you might be able to help him.”

“Help him, how?”

“Just by being there. You’re like a breath of fresh air, you’re not a part of the chaos everyone else I know is.”

“You mean I’m normal.” She smirked. Steve laughed, the tension leaving his body as he slumped back and relaxed.

“We all need some normality, Y/N, but this would be something huge for you. A complete change.” He watched her as she looked around the cafe. It was still raining outside, leaving everything looking grey. She’d been stuck there for four years. It was time to get the hell out.

“I’m in.” She said, offering Steve her hand.

“You’re sure?” He said. She nodded and he took her hand firmly. “We leave in two days.”

__________________

The next day she handed in her notice. Steve text her the details, saying he would pick her up at 4 the day after to go to the jet. she packed her things, some jewellery and clothes. She googled Wakanda, reading up on everything she could find until she fell asleep on her computer desk.

Steve picked her up as he had promised he would. They rode to the airfield making easy conversation. She hushed when she saw the quinjet, unlike any aircraft she’d ever seen before. Steve watched her out of the corner of his eye and smiled to himself. He pulled up the car to where Natasha and Sam were waiting. They wore black combat suits, ready for a fight that could be lurking around every corner. She stood out in comparison to them, in her jeans and pink cardigan. Steve wrapped his arm around her shoulder protectively as they approached.

“Sam, Nat, this is Y/N.” Steve said, before pointedly saying to Sam, “Be nice.”

“I’m always nice.” Sam winked and shook her hand. Natasha remained quiet, but shook her hand all the same.

They got into the jet and everyone took up their position as though they’d done it a million times before. They probably have done this a million times, I’m the only one who hasn’t, she told herself. She took a seat towards the back, staying quiet and out of the way whilst everyone moved and bustled around her.

Someone came and sat down next to her. She was surprised to look up and see Sam. He offered her a bottle of water, which she took gratefully.

“It’s weird, doing this for the first time, but you’ll get used to it.” He tried to reassure her. “How much has Steve told you?”

“Not a lot, if I’m honest. All I know is I’m going to Wakanda and I’m going to be helping a friend of Steve’s.” She shrugged.

Same whistled. “You ever heard of James Buchanan Barnes, also know as the ‘Winter Solider’?” He watched as her eyes widened and she nodded.

“That’s who I’m supposed to be helping out? What- I mean- how-“ She stammered, trying to comprehend what Sam was saying. She saw things said about him on the news, but that was almost six months ago now. She thought he was missing.

“He’s been frozen, the way Steve was, for the last few months.” Sam explained “He came out two weeks ago, but he’s only talking to Steve at the moment, and a couple of doctors. He thinks that if you go, then maybe he’ll start opening up again, back to how he was before he was brainwashed.” She put her head in her hands and Sam chuckled. “Hey, as long as you like goats you’ll be fine.”

“Goats?”

“Sam!” Steve called from the front, making the pair laugh. “Can you please not put her off before she’s even met him?”

“Sure thing, boss.” Sam shouted back. “You should probably try and get some sleep before we land, I’ll leave you in peace.”

“Thanks Sam.” She smiled at him, which he returned. She closed her eyes, but her thoughts were racing. She’d learned about Barnes in history class, the war hero who sacrificed himself, but she’d also seen the Winter Soldier on the news, the world’s deadliest assassin. She couldn’t help but wonder if she’d made a mistake.

__________________

They landed outside of the palace. She recognised it from the pictures on Wikipedia. Steve walked ahead, greeting T’Challa first. She stayed behind with Sam who watched, wondering whether her eyes would pop out of her head if they got any wider. She knew she was probably meant to be paying attention to the king, but she couldn’t help but look past him for a sign of Bucky.

“This is my good friend Y/N Y/LN,” When Steve said her name, it brought her out of her trance. He gestured for her to come forward, but her legs didn’t want to moved, so Sam kindly pushed her until she met Steve’s arm. “She’s here for Bucky.”

“That white boy needs all the help he can get.” A voice from behind T’Challa chided, making Steve laugh. A young girl was grinning mischievously at her.

“Shuri please.” T’Challa scolded. “It’s a pleasure to meet you, Y/N.”

“You too, your highness.” She blushed. Steve squeezed her arm, but she wasn’t feeling very reassured. They all turned and began walking away. she continued to cling to Steve as they made their way through the palace, people filtering out of the party until it was just T’Challa, Steve, Sam, Natasha and her. They came out into an open field. There were some children running around and quite a few goats. She glanced over her shoulder to Sam whose shoulders were already shaking with laughter.

They finally approached two huts in the middle of the field. She realised that one of them was meant for her. She gripped Steve’s arm hard and he winced. Maybe asking her to do this wasn’t his best idea. She looked terrified.

“You alright?” He whispered into her hair. She nodded, entering the hut after Natasha. Inside it was much cosier, with a fairly comfortable looking bed and small stove. Natasha placed her bag on the bed for her.

No one else had come inside. She looked around and took a deep breath trying to calm herself.

“If you can’t do this, Steve’s back here every few weeks, he’ll understand it’s difficult.” Natasha told her, getting up and leading the way back out of the hut. She wasn’t going to give up on this. She just had to find her sense of adventure back.

T’Challa and Sam had made their way back up to the palace. Steve stood outside with Bucky. When she first laid eyes on the solider, her heart seemed to stop. He was cleaner and more polished than she thought he would be. He was wearing a scarf over one shoulder, hiding where his arm was missing. She felt the blush rise to her face.

She tried to gage what he thought of her, but his face was hard to read. Steve said something to him that she couldn’t hear and he raised his eyebrows. She thought of how she must look, having flown for hours and sweating in her jeans in the hot weather. She hadn’t even readjusted her ponytail.

She plucked up the courage to smile at him, but he didn’t return the gesture. She looked to Steve who shrugged a little.

“Y/N, this is James Barnes, or Bucky.” Steve said. Bucky offered her his hand which she took gratefully.

“It’s lovely to meet you.” She said. He smiled a little in response but didn’t say anything. “Would you mind if I went to freshen up?” She asked. Bucky simply gestured to a shower block behind the hut that she decided to take as a yes. “Thank you.”

She let the cool water run over her skin. It was funny how a shower could make her feel so much better.

When she got out in her towel, she saw the sunset over the lake. Steve had left, but Bucky’s silhouette was outlined against the orange sky. She made her way quietly into her hut to find a note from Steve.

Sorry I couldn’t say bye, something came up. I’ll be back in about two weeks though.

Just be yourself, it’s the best thing you can do for him, Y/N, I promise. You’re best adjusting to this yourself tonight, go to Bucky in the morning after his checkup at 11.

If you need anything, ask T’Challa or Buck.

Steve

PS- I left you a cake in the cupboard above the stove.

Part 2

[thecostumeplot]

Episode 16: The Fall with Kelly Cercone

Please consult these Instagram slideshows for accompanying images: The Fall Part 1 The Fall Part 2

Sarah Timm & Jojo Siu Welcome to the costume plot.

Jojo Siu   I'm Jojo Siu

Sarah Timm   and I'm Sarah Timm. We're professional designers with a passion for costume design and the performing arts. Our podcast does contain spoilers. Accompanying slideshows for each movie are linked in the episode description.

Jojo Siu We hope you'll join us every other week as we delve into the wonderful world of costume design in The Costume Plot. [music]

Jojo Siu Hello, and welcome to the Costume Plot again.

Sarah Timm Welcome back. What an exciting episode. Let's dive right in. We have a very exciting guest with us today. She's a friend of mine from FIDM but you may know her from "Avengers Endgame", ever heard of it? Thor Ragnarok. American Horror Story. These are just some of her credits. She's a brilliant costume maker and many other things. You may know her from her Instagram "Anachronism in Action:, or as the winner of the "Her Universe fashion show". It's Kelly Cercone!

Jojo Siu Welcome, Kelly.

Kelly Cercone   Happy to be here.

Sarah Timm   Thank you so much for joining us. We are stoked to talk to you. What movie have you brought us and our listeners today?

Kelly Cercone   I am super excited to be talking about "the Fall", which is probably my favorite movie of all time. And when you guys mentioned it during the "Mirror, Mirror" episode I was...I just got really excited and I messaged you pretty much a day later.

Sarah Timm   And I was really excited because you are...I just want to say you're a great get for a podcast guest about a podcast about costuming because

Jojo Siu   Absolutely!

Sarah Timm   You're legit and amazing. But also I was saying this you off mic but everything that I know about the fall for the most part I know because of Kelly's posts and her cosplay of it. And I've just been an admirer of the costumes from afar, so I'm excited to deep dive into them today.

Jojo Siu   Absolutely. I'm so glad we're covering this  in a different way. Even if we don't cover another episode normally.

Kelly Cercone   This movie has so many costumes in it. It would...it....There's a lot of ground to cover.

Jojo Siu   Absolutely. Perfect for one episode.

Sarah Timm   Totally. Yeah, we can really take our time. This is exciting.

Jojo Siu All right. So I already gave you power to share. So whenever you are ready, Kelly.

Kelly Cercone   All right. Okay, so...should I...I'll just start by talking about the movie. A little bit?

Sarah Timm   Yeah, tell us whatever you feel like we need to know before we get into the clothes.

Kelly Cercone "The Fall: was directed by Tarsem Singh and costume designed by Eiko Ishioka, which...this was the second movie that they collaborated on. The first being "The Cell" and then "The Fall", "The Immortals" and last "Mirror, Mirror" for which Eiko won her Oscar. The movie was loosely based off of a 1981 film called "Yo, Ho, Ho" which was a Bulgarian language film. It was released in 2006 at the Toronto Film Festival and theatrically released in 2008. And it had pretty mixed reviews when it came out. I guess a lot of people went to go watch it thinking it would be like a comedy and then were very surprised when it was not.

Sarah Timm Was it marketed more as a comedy? Because sometimes that's all in the marketing, you know?

Kelly Cercone   I mean, I think people just thought it was gonna be like, oh, a fantasy adventure, you know, they weren't expecting it to be as sad as it is. The movie was largely funded by Tarsem himself. Because a lot of people were very confused when he tried to explain that he wanted to make a movie that was partially written by a four-year-old. And one of the things that he wanted to do, because he did "The Cell" because there was so much CGI in it, he really wanted to try and do the opposite of that. So all of the locations in the film, they're actually on location. And they filmed in 20 different countries over the course of four years. And he said of working with Eiko, "we heard Eiko was really difficult to get, but we fell down on our knees. It turned out to not be so hard. She worked on every one of my films." Oh, and "I had enough of that in my first film. As much as I enjoyed it. I decided in this one, the art direction was going to be in the landscape and in the costume design and nothing else." And I feel like you really see that in "The Cell" because it really is the setting...the places that he found. And then the costumes. There's not a lot of other bells and whistles until it comes to the storytelling. And this movie really is a love letter to storytelling. Because it wasn't very popular when it came out. It was very hard to research. I couldn't actually find any quotes from Eiko herself about the movie, which was really disappointing.

Sarah Timm   We've had a few of those sometimes there's just no information to be had, you know?

Kelly Cercone Yeah.

Jojo Siu I actually feel like I kind of had that with "Mirror, mirror" too. She just...there's not a lot she says about her work, because I think she sort of lets it speak for itself.

Kelly Cercone Yeah. Oh, I did find one quote. This was right before she did "Mirror, mirror". She talked about how she wanted to try doing something computer generated, like "Toy Story", but in real life.

Sarah Timm Whoa!

Jojo Siu That would have been so cool.

Kelly Cercone Yeah. And she she said that she was actually disappointed that she got so famous for doing costume design, because she...I mean, she was a production designer and she had a really long award winning career as a graphic and advertising artists. So when she got really famous for costumes, that's the only thing people wanted to hire her for.

Sarah Timm   Wow, I didn't know that.

Jojo Siu It makes a lot of sense. Like where that artistic vision comes from. Because of the graphic design background. Yeah, I can see a lot of that translation. That's so cool, though.

Kelly Cercone   Because this movie is kind of hard to explain. I'm just going to read a plot synopsis. Because I feel like if we go costume to costume,

Sarah Timm It's gonna be bonkers.

Kelly Cercone You'll miss a lot because a lot about this movie is...it's like playing with archetypes, like storytelling archetypes. So a lot of the characters are those archetypes but they're also...it's kind of like the Wizard of Oz where it's double cast. So you'll see the real life person, that character in the story that's being told, shows up as.  So, in 1915 Los Angeles, heartbroken stunt man Roy Walker is hospitalized and possibly paralyzed after taking a jump in his first film. He meets Alexandria, a young Romanian born patient in the hospital, who is recovering from a broken arm and begins to tell her a story about her namesake, Alexander the Great. Alexandria is told she has to leave, but Roy promises to tell her an epic tale if she returns the next day. The next morning, as Roy spins his tale of fantasy, Alexandria's imagine brings his characters to life. Roy's tale is about five heroes, a silent Indian warrior, and ex-slave, an Italian explosive expert, Charles Darwin, a pet monkey named Wallace and a massive swashbuckling bandit. An evil ruler named Governor Odious has committed an offense against each of the five who will seek revenge. The heroes are later joined by a sixth hero--a mystic. It quickly becomes apparent however, Roy has an ulterior motive for telling the story. He wants to gain Alexandria's trust, so hecan get her to steal medicine for him that he can use to commit suicide. I feel like this entire movie needs to have a trigger warning for suicide.

Sarah Timm Yes.

Jojo Siu Absolutely

Kelly Cercone   It is riddled throughout the movie, from Roy's depression and suicide ideation, when he actually attempts to commit suicide. And some of the other characters also commit sort of suicide in different scenarios later on towards the end. And there's also child abuse, child manipulation and child death. There are parts of this movie that are really intense and they kind of sneak up on you. So for anyone who wants to skip the, the more emotional part of it, I would stop at the one hour and two minute mark or when Roy asks Alexandria if she likes chocolate.

Jojo Siu   It's a good marker.

Sarah Timm   Yeah

Kelly Cercone Yeah. Well, I looked it up because I...the movie. It's so pretty and fun. And then it just takes a hard turn, and if you're not expecting it, it can be a lot. Okay, so getting to the actual costumes now.

Sarah Timm Whoo.

Kelly Cercone   This is Alexandria. And she spends the whole movie in this cast, which is really cute because she's always walking around carrying this box that has all of her special things in it. And a lot of the items in it show up in different ways throughout the movie. I know you guys like a good sweater. And she has a really cute sweater.

Sarah Timm   We do!

Jojo Siu She knows

Kelly Cercone like it has this nice little detailing down the side and it's so cute. And I think it's supposed to be winter in Los Angeles, like they're definitely in LA, but I think it's supposed to be winter because otherwise, you would be way too warm to wear a sweater.

Sarah Timm   Like a breezy 65. You know?

Kelly Cercone   Yeah, exactly. And she spends most of the movie in various sort of dressing gowns, and they usually have a little bit of lace around the collar and sometimes some pin tucking. And they're just...they're super cute.

Sarah Timm She's adorable.

Kelly Cercone   She IS adorable.

Jojo Siu   I love how she's wearing this sweater around her cast.

Kelly Cercone Well, it wouldn't fit! It wouldn't fit otherwise.

Sarah Timm Right.

Jojo Siu Right. So cute.

Kelly Cercone   And here's Roy. And you pretty much only see him in this shirt. And then later on another sweater. He basically in the real world, he wears the same outfit the whole time. And you never see him from the waist down, which I think was to sort of help sell that he was paralyzed. And I guess when they were filming, they didn't tell her that he could walk. She actually thought that he was paralyzed.

Sarah Timm   Oh my gosh.

Kelly Cercone   They they went really above and beyond to try and get a very authentic response from her. I guess, even though she didn't necessarily have lines, Lee Pace, who plays Roy, would say his dialogue and then she would respond...like improv respond. And then he would play along with her. So a lot of the dialogue in the movie she made up on the spot. And she didn't speak English. So a lot of her...you're actually watching her learn and speak English over the course of the film.

Sarah Timm   Wow, that's amazing!

Jojo Siu I had heard that.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah. And you can I mean, you can tell to like cuz you can, when she's speaking, you can kind of see that she's trying to figure out how to phrase a question.

Sarah Timm Mm hmm.

Kelly Cercone Um, but yeah, his shirt...I did notice, compared to some of the other characters that you see later on, that are wearing more modern shirts. He's actually wearing a slightly, what feels to me like a sort of Pioneer-y shirt. And I wondered if that was a nod to the fact that he's a stuntman and westerns. And maybe this is more what he's comfortable wearing. Because he's usually wearing something like this in a film.

Sarah Timm Interesting.

Kelly Cercone And all of the textiles in the hospital are very worn in, you know. They've probably been washed a million times, it looks very soft. And here is the two of them in bed. As they they spend pretty much the whole time storytelling in various snuggly positions, talking back and forth to each other.

Sarah Timm I did notice when I was watching it last night, I was like, wow, her. She's such a good actress. And you know, like children are not always really good actors. So I was definitely impressed by her. And it makes sense why it feels so natural is because it was it was because right being really natural. That's so

Kelly Cercone yeah. And the curtain that was around his bed, I guess sometimes they would cut holes in the curtain and film through the hole. So that it was just like sort of the two of them interacting. One thing that's worth noting, when you're watching the story unfold in this movie, Roy is the narrator. Like you're always hearing him speaking but what you're actually seeing is from Alexandria, his imagination. So there ends up being some kind of like funny visual dialogue jokes, because they're clearly thinking of different things.

Jojo Siu That's okay. So that was really fun part of the movie that I remember, I think they did that really well.

Kelly Cercone   Oh, this is maybe more for later, but because stunt men are really important in this film. I wanted to show you guys this photo of the stunt men.

Sarah Timm Yes!

Kelly Cercone ...who played all of the main characters.

Sarah Timm   Shout out, stuntmen.

Jojo Siu That's so great. That's awesome.

Kelly Cercone   All right. First up is the bandit. Now this...three different characters wear this costume over the course of the film. The first person we see wearing it is Alexandria's father, and this is when Roy has decided to make him this character in her story. And he starts talking about him being one of the two brothers that bandit brothers. Later, Roy takes over that role when it becomes clear that Alexandria either doesn't understand what he's trying to do or doesn't want her father in the story. So Roy takes on the role of the bandit. And then finally towards the end of the movie, Alexandria inserts herself into the narrative and she becomes the bandits' daughter. She literally shows up and it's like "It's me! Your long lost daughter!"

Kelly Cercone And that's the two of them here.

Sarah Timm Oh my gosh.

Jojo Siu   It's so cute.

Kelly Cercone   It's...It's so cute.

Jojo Siu   I very distinctly remember when I watched this movie, when she comes out with her little red mask, I was just like, "Yay!"

Sarah Timm   Everything is cuter when you make it small.

Kelly Cercone And she's so cute. Like, I think she does.. she tips her little mask up, like "See! See!" This costume...First they start off by saying that he's Spanish, and later the bandit is switched to being French. So there's some sort of mishmashing of elements happening in his costume. But notable is the overly wide suede chaps. And I think that's kind of a nod to him, you know, as the bandit is riding a horse and stealing stuff. But they're very over the top.

Sarah Timm Right.

Kelly Cercone There's a lot of very subtle texture in his robe. It's a silk habotai. And the mask that they all wear is like a raw silk. And his belt has a lot of tooling on it. And the braid is also...I mean it has a very decorative pattern when you zoom in on it. And for how decorative his costume is...I mean, it's silk...you don't think of a bandit wearing a silk outfit riding a horse, but it's still very functional. You see him fighting and swashbuckling in this costume throughout the whole movie and it moves really beautifully.

Sarah Timm Yeah. Silk can really be...I think people associate silk with being really fragile and it's you know,

Kelly Cercone   It's super strong!

Sarah Timm   ....People associate charmeuse and chiffon and floaty and light, but it is really strong. It can be a real workhorse fabric.

Jojo Siu   Definitely.

Kelly Cercone   Next up is the  slave Otta Benga. And the name that they gave him, I feel is a very intentional choice. This is something that Roy probably would have been aware of and why he chose this name because he's based off...er not based off of, but Otta Benga is the real last name of a real life enslaved man who was put on display in the Bronx Zoo in 1906. So Roy probably would have heard about this in the news and maybe that's why he chose the name. I also feel that he was an intentional choice because the real life Otta Benga died by suicide. So I think the director, you know, wanted to pay homage to him and also just thought that it tied in with the themes of the movie. Otta Benga, he broke out of his chains when Governor Odious killed his brother. So his headdress: I actually found some photos from the craftsperson who made the headdress, Adam Howarth, and he said that the beaded headdress was made from iron, iron pyrite or fool's gold. And the horns are resin. I tried to see if they were from any specific animal. And the closest I could find was a Scimitar Oryx.

Sarah Timm Mm.

Jojo Siu Mmm! It's a beautiful shape. And pattern.

Kelly Cercone   The beading is also on the belts of his costume, along with some fur and some more suede. This is his real life counterpart. He is an ice delivery man to the hospital. And he teases Alexandria, because she comes and tries to eat some of the ice. And I noticed that he's wearing a hat. His hat is gray in both worlds. And he's wearing a little shawl here, which sort of comes back later. So I'm just pointing it out. But I like that they have these shots of him with a cart in both versions of the story.

Sarah Timm   Right.

Jojo Siu   Mmhmm. A lot of parallels.

Sarah Timm I had a whole watching that last night with the ice delivery. I had a whole like mental journey. I went on thinking about ice deliveries and how it used to be something that was like part of people's everyday lives and how wild that is.

Kelly Cercone Yeah.

Jojo Siu That and milk delivery.

Kelly Cercone Yeah!

Sarah Timm There is a man who came and brought you the ice.

Sarah Timm Anyway. Blew my mind a little bit.

Kelly Cercone Next up is Luigi. And he is very stylish and tailored compared to everyone else. He has this long mustard cloak with little red lining that's visible periodically. And the back of the coat has this really beautiful raised embroidery applique and I love the neckline and  the collar and the cuffs of his coat. It's these like circular pieces that have a lot of movement, like when he's, you know, pointing his gun or running around.

Sarah Timm   I've never seen that sort of cuff before and it looks so cool.

Kelly Cercone Yeah, I, I was trying to like find if there was any historical reference for it. And the closest I could come up to is in the 17th century, like sometimes you saw those kind of overlay circular shapes on shoe pieces.

Jojo Siu   Mmm, mmhmm. Yeah.

Kelly Cercone   I mean, it could not be that and....

Sarah Timm   Right. The closest.

Kelly Cercone   Spoilers, but in his death scene, he opens up his coat, and it has pockets!

Sarah Timm All the pockets!

Kelly Cercone   Pockets full of dynamite. And I also don't...he has, what you think is a shirt is actually an asymmetrical vest that's open on one side?

Sarah Timm   Look at that.

Kelly Cercone   That's his shoulder and it goes down to his stomach.

Jojo Siu I was just thinking that. It's almost like a halter top.

Kelly Cercone   It's just really unexpected. It's like the most...the most buttoned up covered character, when he's like, "Surprise!"

Jojo Siu Yeah.

Sarah Timm Secretly sexy inside.

Kelly Cercone And this is his real life counterpart, which is a friend of Roy's on a fellow stunt man, who has a prosthetic leg that shows up in various symbolic forms throughout the movie. Oh, yeah, I also like this one, because it shows that his real life counterpart is also more tailored than some of the other characters we see.

Jojo Siu Yeah.

Kelly Cercone   He's also wearing a nice suit and nice shoes.

Sarah Timm Tied together like the fantasy and real world versions.

Jojo Siu   Yeah.

Kelly Cercone Next we have the Indian. And he's a really good example of how Roy and Alexandria are interpreting the story differently, because it's clear from the phrasing that Roy uses that he's referring to a Native American. But Alexandria is picturing her friend from the orange groves, who is an Indian immigrant from India. So it becomes a bit of a joke.

Sarah Timm Right.

Kelly Cercone And his costume is beautiful. The outer shell is an emerald green organza that there's a lot of pleating  in the skirt, and in the stylized turban, and it's worn over an underlayer that's sort of a rust, maybe cotton or linen. And at one point he rips...he pulls out a piece or rips off a piece to make into a blindfold, because after the death of his squaw, he made a vow never to look upon another woman. And the reason that his wife died was because of Governor Odious, which is why he wants to kill her.

Sarah Timm Right.

Kelly Cercone It's actually really really sad. He...Governor Odious...furthering the theme of suicide throughout the movie, Governor Odious kidnapped his wife. And when she wouldn't, I guess, love him, he put her in a maze that has no escape, except to jump off of a tower and kill yourself.

Sarah Timm   Ugh. That's so dark.

Kelly Cercone Yeah.

Jojo Siu   Trigger warning number like 20 at this point.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah, basically.

Sarah Timm   I love that sheer green over the rust. That's...gorge.

Jojo Siu   Yeah

Kelly Cercone     Yeah.

Jojo Siu   That's one of my favorite color greens too. That emerald color. Ugh, It's so gorgeous.

Sarah Timm   Love.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah. And I mean, I have to think it was intentional, but his beard. I love his beard. It always looks sort of styled. They got it to go in the different directions. And when he takes off his turban later in the movie, he has this gorgeous long hair that you're just not really expecting to have been tucked up in there.

Sarah Timm   I love that.

Kelly Cercone   And next we have the naturalist, Charles Darwin.

Sarah Timm   This coat.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah. Again, Adam Howard was one of the craftspeople who worked on it and he said that the coat...the reference for the coat was a highly magnified photo of a butterfly's wing, and that the shape was made with foam. And that the fur was hand colored.

Jojo Siu   Oh my gosh!

Sarah Timm   Wait, so underneath there is foam. Oh, that's amazing.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah, to get it to have that structure and shape and to hold away from his body.

Jojo Siu   Mm hmm.

Sarah Timm   Wow.

Jojo Siu   Even the arms.

Sarah Timm   Yeah are the sleeves foam too?

Kelly Cercone   Maybe I it didn't specify.

Jojo Siu   There might be some in there.

Sarah Timm   Yeah, it looks like it.

Jojo Siu   Just the way it's kind of holding up.

Sarah Timm   Yeah. That's so cool.

Jojo Siu   Mmhmm.

Kelly Cercone And here's Wallace who spends most of the film being carried around in a little bag. Under the coat. He is wearing a white shirt and pants, which his real life counterpart is a hospital orderly, and he's pretty much wearing the same outfit. Like this is what Alexandria sees him wearing on a daily basis. And to remind the audience that he's British, I guess they put him in a bowler hat and jacket. Which makes...it makes a very nice look with the the coat. I'm not mocking it. It's just funny.

Jojo Siu Yeah.

Sarah Timm It looks a little bit clockwork orange-y too.

Kelly Cercone   I was thinking that, but I don't think that was what they wanted. Because Darwin is so not edgy.

Sarah Timm   Yeah.

Jojo Siu   Definitely not.

Sarah Timm I guess it's just the white outfit with the black bowler.

Kelly Cercone Yeah, yeah.

Sarah Timm   That automatically calls it to mind, you know?

Kelly Cercone   Yeah, no, the second he takes the coat off. You're like, Huh.

Jojo Siu Throwback.

Sarah Timm   I've never seen Clockwork Orange by the way. I don't think I need to.

Jojo Siu It was a pretty disturbing movie. I watched it once. And I was like, mmmm...I don't need to see that again.

Kelly Cercone Yeah, it is. I mean, it is really pretty. The production design on that movie is so good.

Sarah Timm   Yeah.

Jojo Siu   Mm hmm. Yeah. Beautifully done, but hard to watch.

Kelly Cercone Yeah, for sure. Um, so next is the mystic. And he's sort of a combination of two characters. The other orange faker that Alexandria is a friend with and then Otto, who is an old man who is in the hospital. And he sort of...he comforts her at various points in the movie when she's afraid. And he makes jokes about having magic teeth and how to make monsters go away by saying oogly googly. So she sort of combines these two characters into, you know, a magic man who can kind of do a little bit of everything. And they meet him when he literally comes out of a tree. I forget if it's hit by lightning, or just spontaneously bursts into flame. But he crawls out of it and his hair are part of the tree and sort of scrambles out like roots. And he's slowly become sort of more human looking throughout the movie. Since they're all trying to find Governor Odious. He...I mean, he eats Darwin's map, which is poisonous. So then he goes to his friends and they do a ritual to make the directions to Governor Odious show up on his skin. So his skin becomes the map.

Sarah Timm Cool.

Kelly Cercone   And the ritual that they do is based off of a real life chant called the Kecak. And it's a Balinese Hindu dance that is part of Ramayana and is traditionally performed in temples. The checkered robes that they're wearing is actually part of the rituals. So I like that they included that in the movie, even though they're using this ritual in a very non-traditional way.

Sarah Timm That's nice, like a little...

Jojo Siu That's so fascinating.

Sarah Timm Yeah, like a little nod to the real life thing. That's cool.

Jojo Siu I'm trying to remember now, because my family went and saw an original Balinese temple dance, but I assume it was not the same thing because they weren't wearing exactly this, but a lot of the movements now are making me try and remember if they did anything similar when I watched it, but it's so fascinating, though.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah. Well, I mean, from what I read, it's part of a specific story, that it's part of telling the story. So I mean, maybe they don't perform it outside of telling that story.

Jojo Siu     Right, right.

Kelly Cercone   So Governor Odious' soldiers are based off of....At one point in the movie Alexandria sees a man doing x-rays, and it really, really scares her so the soldiers become the nightmare version of the 1920s X-ray outfit, which is a leather apron with a metal breastplate and helmet. And they take that and they sort of...really dehumanize it by blacking out the face and the eyes. And they take away their hands, they take away features that make them recognizable as humans.

Sarah Timm   Right.

Kelly Cercone   And they sort of move in a pack in the movie. Like they have very stylish movements and all of the noises they make are hyenas.

Sarah Timm *gasp.

Kelly Cercone So they're like, cackling.

Jojo Siu   So creepy.

Sarah Timm   Wow. That's...that's extremely creepy. I feel like I should explain to the listeners that I tapped out at the 40 minute mark of this movie, but I definitely intend to go back. I've had a long week. And I was like, I can't pay attention this tonight. It deserves my attention.

Jojo Siu   Save it for another day.

Sarah Timm   So some of these are a surprise to me and some are not.

Jojo Siu Yeah, I can only imagine as a four-year-old.

Kelly Cercone   They're...I mean, they're definitely...they're not in a ton of scenes. But they're...I mean, they're just so beautiful. In a creepy way.

Sarah Timm   Oh, yeah.

Jojo Siu Creepy to a four year old, but really beautiful for us.

Sarah Timm The helmet almost...it looks almost like, I don't know, a kitchen appliance or something. But like a very evil one.

Jojo Siu   And almost like it's formed to the head

Kelly Cercone Like a coffee grinder or a pepper grinder. Or a blender.

Jojo Siu Like a deformed one, that's gotten kind of crushed in.

Sarah Timm   I just went to IKEA today. Maybe I just have home furnishings on my brain. The gloves are very creepy.

Jojo Siu Yeah, it's like they have spoons for hands.

Sarah Timm That's how I draw my hands because I can't draw. So I just draw like a little diamond.

Jojo Siu   A little spoon or spade.

Sarah Timm   It's just kind of like this.

Jojo Siu   Very creepy.

Kelly Cercone So next up is Governor Odious. So part of what is feeding into Roy's depression is...the movie that he was in, he was dating the lead actress in the film. And she breaks up with him and starts dating the lead actor in the film, who is Sinclair. So Sinclair takes on the role of Governor Odious in the story, because Roy really hates him and Alexandria picks up on that. So in real life, he's wearing a striped suit jacket, which is very warm and kind of soft looking. and stylish white pants, and then the story counterpart of him. He's wearing also a stripe coat, but it's very shiny and slick and colorful. And it's just a little over the top. And I don't know if they...he ends up dying in a pool. And I don't know if that was meant to be a "Great Gatsby" reference or not. But it is the 19-...he's very 1920s.

Sarah Timm I feel like 1920s man dying in a pool is...you can't help but think of "Great Gatsby".

Kelly Cercone Yeah.

Jojo Siu Very true.

Sarah Timm I like that fabric.

Sarah Timm Smart fabric.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah. And his vest...

Jojo Siu It's a really nice color.

Kelly Cercone   I don't know, it's very hard to see but it does....this vest also has stripes.

Kelly Cercone Hmm. Love it.

Jojo Siu Beautiful. It's got a nice play of textures.

Kelly Cercone So after they have the map, they...they're trying to find Governor Odious. And they come upon this big wagon and they think he's inside, but they open it up and surprise. It's actually Evelyn. And Evelyn is a very complicated character, because she embodies a lot of the heartbreak and mixed feelings that Roy is having about his girlfriend and she's played by nurse Evelyn or sister Evelyn, who is a nun who works in the hospital. So she has...you first see her in her cute little nun outfit, nurse outfit, which is very starched and clean. And you only see Roy's ex-girlfriend for a second and she's wearing a very simple linen sort of driving suit. When I think of pictures of Edwardian ladies wearing driving suits with the big hats, but she has hair that is a little more 1930s.

Kelly Cercone Mmhmm

Jojo Siu   Mmhmm.

Kelly Cercone   When she appears in the story as Princess Evelyn, she's wearing this...

Jojo Siu   Ugh. My favorite.

Kelly Cercone   Beautiful gown.

Sarah Timm   There it is.

Jojo Siu   So beautiful.

Kelly Cercone   This costume is very Chinese inspired, from the reference pictures that I looked up. I am going to guess that it was inspired by the Ming Dynasty specifically. And then it has very stylized Lotus embroidery down the front and these bands that...they're sort of... when you look closely, they're not completely attached. They're kind of floating on the surface of this sleeve to make this...just her sleeves very structured and a focal point. And she has this very elaborate hat with a veil of fans that then open.

Sarah Timm   Oh, that's so cool.

Kelly Cercone   And surprise! She has pants underneath, I think.

Sarah Timm   Beautiful and functional.

Kelly Cercone   Oh no wait that's just her sleeves. I'm wrong. Oh well this...this scene is funny, because I...Oh wait, you didn't get that far!

Sarah Timm   I'm sorry.

Kelly Cercone She's like....Roy's telling this story, right? And he can tell that Alexandria has to go pee. But Evelyn is acting out that she has to go to the bathroom as she's talking to him. And it's so funny.

Sarah Timm Okay, yeah. That's hilarious.

Jojo Siu You must watch the second half of this movie soon Sarah.

Sarah Timm   At 11 when I was turning it off. I was like 'Kelly's gonna beat me up'.

Kelly Cercone   Well, now you'll just have a greater appreciation when you watch it.

Jojo Siu It's true.

Sarah Timm   Exactly. Yes.

Jojo Siu   You'll catch all the little trips.

Kelly Cercone   So next, Alexandria has decided that she wants romance in the movie, or in the stories, so she sort of pushes Roy to make this a romantic love interest. And we see Evelyn in this very, very over the top sort of fairy princess. And there's a corseted bodice, so I'm like, maybe it's a little bodice ripper, although she's probably way too young to know what that is. I mean, this just screams romantic heroine. And she has a line about how feeling like, "I was like a bird in a cage". And then there's music playing and Alexandria is singing her lines. And then she literally has birds. So the story is like...because you find out she was betrothed to Governor Odious. And she's like, "Oh, I've been rescued now by this bandit, and he loves me!" So, you know, this is their great moment here.

Sarah Timm   Classic romance novel sort of story.

Kelly Cercone And her locket that she's wearing is the same locket that Roy gave his girlfriend in real life. So a lot of his...he's having a lot of feels in this scene. And he's taking them out on her, even though, I mean, it's really his feelings about his ex-girlfriend.

Sarah Timm   Right.

Kelly Cercone I tracked down the patternmaker--the woman who originally made this costume--her name is Jane Law, and she has some pictures on her website and surprise! The costume apparently originally had sleeves.

Sarah Timm I was gonna say...

Jojo Siu Yeah.

Sarah Timm What're those?

Kelly Cercone They're never in the movie. So I think they must have just decided they didn't want to use them for whatever reason. And I found another picture of the same costume in a museum. And there, it only had one sleeve.

Jojo Siu Only one sleeve. Interesting.

Sarah Timm That's odd.

Jojo Siu It's like seeing all the different options of what you could and couldn't do with this.

Kelly Cercone   But I mean, I love this costume. It's my favorite costume. And I mean, I just love like when you zoom in on the bodice, there's all of this texture from this lace that was clearly hand-painted and just very lovingly applied everywhere.

Sarah Timm   This is the one you've made.

Kelly Cercone Yeah. Or the one I cosplayed. I didn't make this one. But I made a cosplay of it. Yeah, 'cause...right.

Sarah Timm   Right, right, right, right. Yes.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah. I pretty much watched this movie and then instantly lost my mind.

Jojo Siu It makes sense.

Sarah Timm   We all have those moments.

Jojo Siu Especially with how beautiful these costumes are.

Kelly Cercone   Oh, I forgot to show you earlier. But when...on the anniversary of Eiko's birthday, the year after she passed away. Google did a Google Doodle of her and the costumes they did were from "The Fall". So these were the three little Google doodles that they did, so it's Evelyn's Lotus dress, Luigis coat, and then, her wedding dress, which I will show you in a minute.

Sarah Timm That's so cool.

Jojo Siu   So exciting!

Sarah Timm What a nice little tribute.

Jojo Siu   Yeah.

Kelly Cercone So yeah, after...

Sarah Timm   Somebody at Google has taste.

Kelly Cercone   After their little love fest, they decide to get married. And I love that each of the characters...they get slightly more dressed up. So Otta Benga puts on a orange, iridescent orange robe. The Indian puts on a little jewel brooch on his turban and The Mystic puts on gold face paint.

Sarah Timm   Just a little gussied up.

Kelly Cercone It's very simple, but they really made an effort for their friend and this scene is very surreal because at this point, Roy has taken what he thinks is a whole bottle of morphine. So he's kind of tripping out and is spinning, and then they're surrounded by Sufi's...like Sufi dancers who are doing a meditative dance, and it's very surreal and beautiful.

Sarah Timm I love the big skirts.

Jojo Siu And can you just explain to us what the Sufi dancers are for our audience members who do not know what that is

Sarah Timm I don't know what that is. I was nodding my head like I knew, but I don't.

Jojo Siu   Sorry to put you on the spot, 'cause I realized I was like "oh I don't think I know what that is."

Kelly Cercone   I knew I wouldn't remember everything, so I tried to take notes.

Jojo Siu   Totally fine.

Kelly Cercone   It is a meditative practice for a certain branch of Islam. So that, I guess it's a ritual.

Jojo Siu   Very cool. Thank you, I'm sure we would have one person out there asking that.

Kelly Cercone In this movie, it's probably very stylized and not how it is in real life. I would assume...

Jojo Siu Right

Kelly Cercone ...because I feel like I have seen videos of Sufi dancers before and it does not look like this, and one thought that I had about the colors of their outfits, which I will come back to, after we talk about her wedding dress, but I think that this color choice of the white over the blue was intentional. So, This is Evelyn's wedding dress. And as you can see, it is just...

Sarah Timm That's so beautiful,

Kelly Cercone It has sleeves similar to her Lotus dress but they're much more structured, they're almost padded, or I think they are padded or quilted with rolls. The fabric is a very 3-D jacquard, and maybe even trapunto like here on the sleeves, you can see there are these raised portions. And it has sleeves like her Lotus dress but it's much more fitted and even has like a bustle in the back. These pleats fan out over something, doing support here and I see maybe an outline of a hoop. And yeah and I mean her headdress is just amazing...

Jojo Siu   Just phenomenal.

Kelly Cercone This film has a lot of use of veils and masks, as I'm sure you've seen, which I can only assume is symbolic of hiding one's true feelings and emotions and motivations, and so there's a lot of duplicitousness in this movie.

Sarah Timm Yeah, the padded rolls remind me sort of, of kimonos. We had to make one for M. Butterfly that you would have to you know, like roll a whole thing of batting, you know, every hem is like this padded rolls.

Kelly Cercone I mean, you can kind of see, it does look like it is also padded at the hem. You can see kind of a little tulle down there.

Sarah Timm   Yep, It's a cool effect.

Jojo Siu I think a lot of the kimonos have that layered sleeve look too, so it's kind of...it's very reminiscent of that.

Kelly Cercone   I'm sure, I mean, I'm sure even if she wasn't thinking of that, it was in her design aesthetic, obviously.

Jojo Siu   Yeah.

Kelly Cercone So, going back to the Sufi's for a second. When I was also looking through her scenes, it kind of made me think of like a bed comforter, which then led me down this thought train of like, "Oh well, maybe the white over the blue is supposed to be symbolic of the weight of his relationship, and heartbreak is smothering him, like a too-big blanket. It might be a stretch, but I was like, "hmmm, it's just late night" .

Jojo Siu While you're in bed. It makes sense. I can see that connection there.

Sarah Timm Even if it's not something that was intended by the filmmakers, it's fun to sort of find those little, maybe symbolic things that you can read into as a viewer,

Kelly Cercone   Yeah, I mean, this movie has so many things in it that you can take symbolism from and I'm sure there's even more, 'cause I'm watching this as a Western person, and the director is Indian, and I'm sure there's a lot of cultural references in here, that I'm not picking up on.

Jojo Siu   Right.

Kelly Cercone   And a lot of people that actually pointed that out is that there's so much interplay of different points of view, like from Roy and Alexandria and then....When you're talking about this movie being about a love letter of storytelling, it's sort of also the collaborative process of storytelling because the story changes so much throughout the course of the movie based off of the different points of view.

Jojo Siu   I think that's a very non-western trope as well, of storytelling because we talk about passing stories down through generations. And I think that also carries through this movie, very very well, not just from his perspective but also from Eiko's perspective too, I think, 'cause having all those different layers, there's so much symbolism and kind of religious mysticism, that's a very big part of Eastern culture and Eastern sensibilities that I think definitely shows up. So I think that's a great point. So beautiful.

Kelly Cercone   I mean, this is kind ofthe last big costume. There are a few minor things after this but, I mean really after this, it's kind of like a cartoon where a lot of the characters stay in the same costume the whole time.

Sarah Timm   I like it.

Jojo Siu   I think this touches on so much of what's in there though. This gives us a really good smattering of all the characters and how we see each of them in the real life, and also the fantasy element in that parallel is really fun. And what a great challenge for a costume designer to be able to kind of come up with two very distinct, but "they need to tie together" looks.

Sarah Timm   Yeah.

Kelly Cercone   And I guess...oh yeah! I just thought of this right now: she's wearing a very structured white hat, and when she's a nun, she's also wearing a very structured white hat. There's just so many parallels. I love it.

Jojo Siu   Yeah, Eiko really thinks of everything, like in all of her movies, that's all I've ever seen.

Kelly Cercone   I mean this movie... this movie had a $30 million budget! That's nothing...like it's insane that they made this movie was so little money. I know $30 million sounds like a lot and it's not for a giant movie.

Sarah Timm   Not for a movie with this...

Jojo Siu   Especially with all those locations too! It's insane.

Sarah Timm   Well, it's like we were talking about earlier the triangle of cheap, fast and good. They picked cheap and good, and it took them four years.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah.

Jojo Siu   Yep. It took them a very long time, but it was worth it.

Sarah Timm   The correct decision.

Jojo Siu   Yeah. Very, very true. Well thank you so much, Kelly this was so much fun. It was nice to kind of revisit the costumes, especially since I hadn't seen it in so long and I was like, "oh yeah that's what happens in this movie!" But yes, it was fun to see all of them again, and all the characters again and kind of be reminded of what happened.

Kelly Cercone   I was so happy to have a chance to really dig in and research this movie because I learned even more about it and it just made me love it more, so to hear about all of the behind-the-scenes work that went into it, like what I actually managed to find, made me just love it even more.

Sarah Timm Right.

Jojo Siu Yeah.

Sarah Timm That's half the fun of making this podcast is the research part. I know that I have had such a good time, especially if it's one of my favorite movies, you know, finding out all these tidbits that I didn't know before, and it just deepens your appreciation for it and especially not even just as a film but it makes you appreciate the craftspeople who put their work into it and made it what it is.

Jojo Siu   For sure.

Kelly Cercone Because they shot in so many different countries, they hired...a lot of times, it was a local crew, so when I was looking at the costume crew, it would be like "Seamstress: India, Seamstress, Italy". It's really...they pulled from a huge talent pool to make it happen.

Jojo Siu   That's awesome. Yeah, that's great. I feel like that adds so much more of that authenticity to the process to knowing that you're not just getting one team working on everything and not saying that they can't make it beautiful, but you're getting a little bit from every country, and seeing some of that sense based on that seamstress or that team or whatever is going to whoever is going to be around.

Kelly Cercone   One of the themes of the movie is collaboration and different points of view. You're actually getting input from all of these different people from all these different countries.

Sarah Timm   Yes.

Jojo Siu   Yeah.

Sarah Timm   Yes, completely.Well, great job.

Jojo Siu   I know. Yay for all the prepwork!

Sarah Timm Expertly done.

Kelly Cercone Thank you.

Jojo Siu It was.

Sarah Timm   So do you want to tell our listeners a little bit about...maybewhat you do in, you know the entertainment industry? What do you do?

Kelly Cercone   Yeah so, I am a member of the Motion Picture Costumers, local 705, and I am a table person, which is really the equivalent of a firsthand for people who are in theater and know what that means. But on a daily basis, I will assist the cutter/fitter or pattern maker with easily whatever they need help with, whether that'sfinishing patterns or cutting out fabric, stitching, sort of like organizing prioritizing projects, I mean, I'm essentially an assistant to the cutter/fitter.

Sarah Timm Right.

Jojo Siu Very cool.

Sarah Timm   That's kind of what I do in theater, so it's funny that we sort of are parallel, but in different industries. So what have been some of your favorite projects? You could say some of your favorite films you've worked on or even favorite pieces that you're really proud of having a hand in.

Kelly Cercone   There's so many. I mean I was like, over the moon when I got to work on the Mandalorian, because I'm a huge Star Wars fan, and

Sarah Timm   Yeah!

Kelly Cercone   I was...when I found out that they were me filming it in Los Angeles, I was snooping hardcore to try and get any information, so that I could get on that show and then I was working on Avatar, and we were walking around the studio and I looked over and I saw a poster with Boba Fett's face on it and it was like, "They're filming it here?" Literally it was two stages over.

Sarah Timm   Oh my god, "I'm just gonna walk in and pretend like I already worked there."

Jojo Siu   Just show up and sit down and start working.

Sarah Timm I've been here the whole time I'm sewing this thing, what are you talking about?

Jojo Siu   What do you mean you don't know who I am?

Sarah Timm That's rad.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah,

Jojo Siu   That is pretty awesome.

Kelly Cercone   That was very...

Jojo Siu   Very cool.

Kelly Cercone   All the Marvel films I've worked on have been really great. Yeah, and there was one pilot that I worked on that we got to make so many amazing costumes and the pilot never came out. I just get sad every time I think about it, but I mean that just happens

Sarah Timm It does.

Jojo Siu   Yeah.

Kelly Cercone I don't even know what the ratio is, of pilots that get canned versus into shows, but I mean it happens.

Sarah Timm   What was it called?

Kelly Cercone It's called "Hieroglyph", and it was gonna be the Egyptian version of Game of Thrones.

Jojo Siu Fascinating!

Sarah Timm I would watch that.

Jojo Siu That makes me sad that it never went anywhere!

Kelly Cercone   The trailer used to be up on Hulu. I don't know if it still is, but it was for a while, which surprises me. Why would you put up the trailer, if you're never going to make the show? But, okay. I mean I'm still happy to see it

Sarah Timm True. Those are for advertising things.

Jojo Siu It's true. So sad.

Sarah Timm   I assume that the costumes you made for them are hopefully...hopefully they'll be used for something else lovely right.

Kelly Cercone Yeah, I mean, I don't know. I don't know where they ended up. They could be in a rental house somewhere.

Sarah Timm Yeah.

Kelly Cercone They don't tell me these things.

Jojo Siu   They just disappear. You never see them again.

Sarah Timm So what brought you to costuming? Do you have a specific experience in your life? Or did you always know that it was something you wanted to do?

Kelly Cercone I always knew that it was something I wanted to do, or I knew I wanted to do something, sewing related. I remember my mom telling me when I was like six or seven.We were in the car going somewhere and she turns to me and she's like...or...I turned to her and apparently I claimed that I was going to become of corset maker one day, and she was like, "okay, honey, that's...that's great".

Sarah Timm   That's hilarious.

Kelly Cercone I mean I did! I become a corset maker! But yeah, I mean I think...it didn't really...it stupidly didn't really occur to me until I was in high school and saw the Lord of the Rings movies, I was like, "Oh right! This is like a JOB, job." And then I was like, "I'm gonna do that". I had a brief stint in high school, where I was like, "Oh!" or...No, I would say in junior high, where I was like "Oh! Maybe I'll become a marine biologist" and then it was like, "No I want to make costumes".

Sarah Timm I feel like...

Jojo Siu I think I had that in ninth grade too, like, "I'm gonna be a doctor".

Sarah Timm I know a lot of people who are like, "Oh yeah, I had a marine biologist phase". Everybody has a phase like that when they remember they're like "The ocean is rad. I'm gonna be a marine biologist".

Kelly Cercone   Well, I mean it's like...I grew up watching National Geographic. Glorious.

Jojo Siu   So fascinating. The ocean IS fascinating. There's so much in there.It's magical.

Kelly Cercone I actually met a marine biologist, and she's like, "I had literally the opposite experience. I was in school and I thought I was gonna become a fashion designer and then I became a marine biologist.

Sarah Timm     Oh my god.

Jojo Siu   How funny. When do you ever hear that?

Sarah Timm     Did you have a Freaky Friday at some point?

Jojo Siu   And just never switch back.

Sarah Timm Wow.

Jojo Siu That's so funny. So how, if you don't mind me asking, how did you kind of first get into, you know, costuming for movies? I know you said you went to FIDM with Sarah, but what was your kind of first transition between?

Kelly Cercone   While I was still in school, I interned for a local stylist Mildred of Mother of London, and a lot of...she had a clothing line, but she would also do custom pieces for a lot of musicians, and then that sort of rolled into making costumes for small independent movies. And once I graduated, I mean not immediately, but...'cause you have to get 30 days to join the union, and it took me a while to get 30 days. But I was working at an all local costume house, off and on, and kind of just...I think my first...actually "hieroglyph" was the first big pilot that I worked on. And it was through people that I had met at FIDM through Paul, our teacher, and he put me in touch with Christie, who is the costume designer on "heiroglyph".

Sarah Timm It really is all about who you know.

Jojo Siu   Yeah.

Sarah Timm All of my jobs pretty much have stemmed from my first internship that I took after college, you know it's because I met that person through that, and I met them through that and it's, you know, people I've met, just through one single job.

Jojo Siu   It's true. Very, very true. Very cool. Well thank you so much for telling us all about that Kelly, it's been really fascinating to hear about all the perspectives of how people get into our industry. Because I think that's also, like...We are hitting people that are obviously in our industry, but we're also hitting a lot of people who totally have no idea what we do so it's cool to be able to hear both perspectives.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah, and it's very opaque from the outside. I get a lot of people messaging me asking for advice and, you know I explain it as best I can but it's really not a clear process, or even just to explain to people. They're like, "do I need a master's degree?" and I'm like, "No, you just need to be able to do the job."

Sarah Timm   Yeah.

Jojo Siu   Right.

Kelly Cercone   And that's the opposite that most industries, you know, tell students.

Sarah Timm   Right.

Jojo Siu Yeah.

Sarah Timm   Right.

Kelly Cercone I mean, not that education is bad, I think education is amazing but it can feel very backwards sometimes.

Jojo Siu Yeah, very true.

Sarah Timm I feel left out a lot as a costume as a theater costume designer specifically that I don't have a master's, because so many working costume designers do, and I'm always just like, I have the same skill set, you know, it's just an extra thing that I didn't do. So it's interesting, what industries that matters,  and then what industries it doesn't.

Jojo Siu   Well, and...to be honest, where you're working Sarah, I don't really think it does matter that much. If someone DOES have an MFA, there's sometimes where I'm just kind of...I don't...It was like an extra thing. It's certainly not something that's getting me more work.

Sarah Timm   Right.

Jojo Siu I mean, I shouldn't say that it's gotten me some, but it hasn't gotten me all of my jobs.

Kelly Cercone   Yeah.

Jojo Siu For sure.

Kelly Cercone It's probably more...I mean, more networking.

Jojo Siu Yeah, absolutely.

Kelly Cercone Showing people that you can work hard and, you know...do the work.

Jojo Siu   Yeah, totally. I think it also is about how well you work with other people right. We keep talking about collaboration and that's such a huge part of our industry too. It's not just about getting the job done. It's also about getting along with the people you're working with. so that they'll want to hire you. No one wants to work with someone who's horrible to work with, regardless of how good your skill is. Unless you know...unless you're really that far above and beyond. But most of the time., if you have a reputation for being that horrible on every job, you kind of start, you start filtering out a little bit.

Sarah Timm   Yeah I think if you're established you can be a jerk to people and still get jobs, but if you're not yet, then you're not gonna get hired back.

Kelly Cercone   If you've won an oscar, you can be a jerk.

Sarah Timm   I should tell that to some of the jerks that I've worked with. Be like, "Excuse me, you didn't win an Oscar? Then you don't need to yell at me. Thanks so much.

Jojo Siu Yeah, totally agree. Well, thank you so much, Kelly. I hope you had fun.

Sarah Timm   Yay!

Kelly Cercone   I'm was just like, oh god I love this movie so much. I was like, I hope I'm not giving way too much information, and that this makes sense. Because there's so much in this movie to love.

Sarah Timm   It's very dense.

Jojo Siu Yes.

Kelly Cercone   But worth really diving into the nitty gritty of. I think.

Jojo Siu   That's the fun of these podcasts too though. It's where you really do get to kind of dive in deep and take the time to talk about it. I feel like when we have an hour to talk about two movies, it always feels really rushed, but it's nice to be able to take our time through one and really go in.

Kelly Cercone   I'm really are impressed with how much ground you guys manage to cover in one episode with two things. I'm always like, "How are they being so succinct, and descriptive?"

Jojo Siu   Thank you for saying that because we certainly don't feel that.

Kelly Cercone   No it was great. It's great.

Sarah Timm   That's the best feedback we've ever gotten. I'm so thrilled to hear that. I'm leaving this in the episode.

Jojo Siu   Especially when half the time we're like "Sarah I feel like I've talked too much. Did I cover everything? I don't feel like anybody knows what we're talking about."

Sarah Timm   It's funny because a lot of the times, we'll alternate. The one episode JoJo will talk for 40 minutes and I'll talk for 20, and then we'll switch the next episode. So it's like...we kind of just fill in the spaces as needed.

Jojo Siu Very true.

Sarah Timm But yeah. Thank you for joining us to nerd out about costumes, It's the best.

Kelly Cercone Thank you for having me.

Sarah Timm   You're so welcome. Can you tell our listeners where to find you on the internet, if they feel inclined? They're probably...I think, based on discussions there's only one place, but tell them where that is.

Kelly Cercone Yeah, I am sort of taking a break from social media. So really the only thing I have right now is Instagram, which I periodically update. But a lot of my prior work and tutorials and whatnot are still on there for people to look at and I respond to questions, almost all the time, as long as they're not creepy.

Sarah Timm We'll link you in the episode description, so that people can go right to you in the profile.

Jojo Siu   Yeah.

Sarah Timm Awesome.

Jojo Siu Cool. Well thanks again, this was really successful. Great job Kelly!

Kelly Cercone Thank you

Sarah Timm   All right, so that's it for this episode. Thank you so much for listening. We hope you enjoyed it.

Jojo Siu   Yeah, and join us next time.

Sarah Timm Yeah we have some good movies coming up.

Jojo Siu Yeah.

Sarah Timm I'm excited about it!

Jojo Siu I'm excited!

Sarah Timm Alright, that's it.

Jojo Siu Thanks everyone. We'll catch you on the next one. Bye!

Sarah Timm Bye!

Jojo Siu   Thank you for listening to the Costume plot. You can follow us on Twitter and Instagram @thecostumeplot. If you have a question, comment or movie suggestion, you can email us at thecostumeplot@gmail.com.

Sarah Timm Our theme music is by Jesse Timm, and our artwork is by Jojo Siu. Please rate and review us wherever you listen to your podcasts.

[arplis]

Arplis - News: How to Keep it Simple with Your Camper Van Conversion

If you have dreams of traveling and camping in a photoshoot-worthy campervan, youre not alone. Lots of people are inspired by the beautiful campervan conversions they see on social media. But do you really need your camper to look like something out of a catalogue? Or do you simply want to live and camp comfortably while traveling?

The reality of converting a van into a campervan is that everything you add has the potential to create more work and more issues when youre on the roadnot to mention the upfront time and money youll need to install every fancy feature you find on Pinterest.

When I bought my GMC Vandura and started living in it part-time, simplicity was my focus. I wanted to seriously downsize my life, so I didnt want to fill my van with too many extras.

The Key to a Successful Campervan Conversion? Keep it Simple.

The van life movement is rooted in minimalism. The VW van-dwellers of the 60s didnt have Pinterest to source ideas from. They lived and camped in their camper vans as a way to escape the confines of too many possessions. And the recent resurgence of van-love, now replete with a hashtag (#vanlife), grew in tandem with the tiny house obsession, along with the idea that less is more. People wanted to reinvent the American Dream, without expensive mortgages and working their lives away to pay the bills. They wanted to get outside more. Mobile living (including tiny homes, vans, RVs etc.) offered a simpler version of comfort, along with mobility, freedom, and low-cost living.

Kelly S. is keeping it simple with her 2002 Chevrolet Express camper van conversion.

But as this alternative lifestyle has turned into mainstream clickbait, the minimalism is sometimes overshadowed by expensive Sprinter van build-outs and elaborate rigs.

Now, dont get me wrong. I love a gorgeously curated interior. I bet you do, too. But the reality is I dont have the budget or the time for all the bells and whistles. And when Im sleeping at campgrounds, I really dont need them. If youre looking to turn your van into a camper van, you might not be interested in the fancy build-outs either.

Whether youre parking at campgrounds or boondocking, you dont have to spend tens of thousands of dollars in converting a van into a camper van.

Lets break down the things you do need in your simple camper van conversion

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Camp fire in the woods

. . . . #campfire #campfirecooking #camplife #camping #campinghacks #adventure_culture #adventureland #adventurers #outdoorliving #gooutdoors #vanlifecamping #vanlifeexplorers #vanlifeproject #welovecamping #Mountkidd #rvparklife #summeradventure #coupleswhocamp #campgoals #campvibes #weliveinavan #modernnomad #modernmillennial #lifeofadventure #twogirlsonevan #exploretheoutdoors #explorers #lesbianswhocamp #gaysinthewoods

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Two Girls One Van

(@two_girls_one_van) on May 30, 2018 at 3:29pm PDT

5 Things to Focus on for a Simpler Campervan Conversion

I spoke to some fellow vanlifers some of them live in their vans full-time, others camp in their vans on weekends to round out my own advice on what you need for a simple van conversion.

M own camper van conversion is a 1986 GMC Vandura. Its old and creaky and slightly unreliable, but (most of the time) I love it, and its perfect for camping.

A Bed

The bed is the foundational difference between a van and a campervan. (Related: once you have a bed in your van, its officially an RV, according to AAA, and youll need their RV coverage if you ever want a tow. I discovered that on the side of the highway in Seattle.)

Ive seen vans with the backseats removed and a mattress thrown in. Ive even seen a hammock strung up inside of a van, which can be easily removed to maximize living space when youre not sleeping.

My van came with a bed that folds into itself to create a bench seat. Its similar to this one, built by @gnomad_home:

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Everyone has been asking us how our couch to bed situation works in our #van! So we decided to make this little #timelapse video for you all to see! Thanks for all the questions and compliments so far, and feel free to keep 'em coming!!

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John

Nymeria

Delilah (@gnomad_home) on Mar 5, 2017 at 12:43pm PST

But I keep mine out like a bed all the time, and find the bed works fine for sitting and occasionally working on my laptop. If I did a camper van conversion myself, I wouldnt bother with the fold-up feature.

The vanlifers behind Two Wandering Soles built a super simple platform bed in the back of their Chevy, and they offer detailed instructions on how to make your own.

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The sleeping area! A custom cut (bigger than) king sized mattress! It fills the back of the Doka and creates a HUGE bed!

>>>

@Vanlifeing_com >>> #ThisisVanlifeing Captured by@vwdoka

A post shared by Vanlife Calendar 2020

(@camper.lifestyle) on Jun 21, 2018 at 12:11pm PDT

When it comes to bedding, Im a big fan of an excessive number of pillows. And Im kind of in love with my Pendleton wool blanket. But now that the weather is warming up, its much too hot. I love the concept of the Rumpl blanket its made out of sleeping bag material which stays nice and cool, but also keeps you warm. Plus, my dogs hair wont stick to it, like it does with the wool blanket. I dont have one yet, but its on my list for summertime van camping.

Power + Light

Theres something special about being in the van at night. I drove miles up into the coastal mountains of Oregon to reach Horse Creek Campground on my first van camping trip. The dark tunnel of dirt road was eery, as I drove further and further away from civilization. But then I reached the nearly empty campground, turned on my collection of Christmas lights, strung around the vans ceiling, turned off the headlights, and felt right at home.

The thing is, if you want to do anything in your van at night, youre going to need light. Ive amassed more and more Christmas lights, which I plug in to The Lycan Powerbox from Renogy. If I want to read, I also turn on a little lantern I have hanging over the bed.

My lights, computer, and fan can all run at once from The Lycan Powerbox. So I have power for camping or working in a Starbucks parking lot (as Im doing, here).

I have a foldable lantern in the storage compartment over the drivers seat in my camper van conversion, so I can see to find my clothes. And a few smaller lights scattered around the van, so theres always one in arms reach when I climb in and need to see before I accidentally step in my dogs water bowl.

The UCO Gear Sitka Lantern is another appealing option. The extendable arm can give you light from above, which is especially handy when cooking or reading.

Im also a big fan of battery operated twinkle lights. Theyre not great for reading, but they give my van a cozy vibe for nighttime relaxation.

My dog, Jackson, likes the twinkle light vibe. He does not like it when I shine my headlamp in his face to take a photo.

Because you can never have enough options when it comes to your ability to see in the dark, I also keep a headlamp on hand. Ledlenser Headlampsare so much brighter than most headlamps Ive tried. Stick one behind your gallon of water for a makeshift lantern when its not on your head.

Fellow van camper Kelly S. also keeps it simple when it comes to lights:I didnt want to mess around with wiring a van, storing an extra battery, figuring out how to charge an extra battery, etc, so I have hooks on the ceiling for battery powered LED lanterns. This way, theyre portable too, and you can use them outside of the van!

Econoline-dweller Rachel loves her LED lights for keeping things simple, too: For lights I have an LED strip that plugs into USB and I just use those little backup phone batteries and switch them out and charge them through my lighter while Im driving.

Shelly S. is hooked on LUMINAID. I get the Cairn subscription box, which is how I received the initial run of this awesome little lantern and have been stuck to it ever since.

Water

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We recently upgraded our water tanks. We bought 3 taller tanks that fit in the same space as our 2 old tanks. We now have ~ 15 gallons of water which can last 1-2 weeks depending where we are and what we're doing. Great decision. #garageviews

A post shared by Megan Cable (@meganmcable) on Jun 7, 2018 at 2:49pm PDT

Rule number #1 with any type of camping: Bring more water than you think youll need. This isnt hard when youre van camping theres plenty of room! But you have a bunch of options when it comes to water storage.

Kelly S. shares how she sourced her best van ideas from traditional tent camping, including water.

For water I have a 7-gallon aquatainer. If you need drinking water? Theres a spout right there! Coupled with a tub on the floor underneath the split, you have a sink to wash your hands, too! Having it bungee corded in place for transport works great, and then if you want to spread out somewhere you stop, you can take it out!

Related Reading:

This Family is Building a Modern Camper Out of Free Materials Found on Craigslist

When it comes to water storage, you really cant beat the classic big blue jug. The Reliance Aqua-Tainer 7 Gallon holds plenty of water for a summer weekend of water drinking, dish washing, and the occasional foot rinse after a barefoot stroll around the campground. Just make sure you have a way to secure it to the floor when youre bouncing down dirt roads.

As for showers, if your van is strictly for camping, then you can usually rely on campground bathrooms for bathing or simply embrace the dirt while youre out there.

If you want to get a little crafty, you can add a makeshift outdoor shower to the roof of your van with ABS piping and a hose.

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One afternoon last spring, we wandered into a Home Depot and stared up at the black ABS piping in the plumbing section. Keith figured there had to be some way to make a shower outta that stuff. Wed mount it to our @yakimaracks roof rack, the sun would warm it up, and gravity would send it down. And thats exactly what it does. Simple. Just like everything else we have goin on in this home of ours. We dont have a fridge, we have a cooler. We dont have LED lighting, we have an old string of Christmas lights. We dont have air conditioning, we have wet rags and a tiny tower fan we got for 9 bucks. We dont have a toilet, we havethe groundand Starbucks.. What Im saying is, you can install plumbing in your van if you want toyou can spend months on end googling every tutorial on earth if you want toyou can pay big money to build out the most well-equipped vehicle around if you want to We simply hope to serve as a reminder that you dont necessarily *have* to.

A post shared by Brianna Madia (@briannamadia) on Apr 3, 2018 at 7:50am PDT

Since I sometimes spend several weeks in my van, I wanted to have a place to wash my face and brush my teeth. I relied on disposable face wipes and gym bathrooms for the first few months. But then my friends at Wood Intimations built a gorgeous sink that is super simple and looks great and its been a game changer.

The pump faucet draws water from a 4 gallon jug beneath the sink, and gray water drains down into a hole in the van floor, so I dont have to empty anything.

It also provides some much needed counter space, and a little shelf for storing those tiny things that always get lost in the van, like the remote to my twinkle lights and my chapstick!

Organization

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TO ALL WEEKEND WARRIORS

. . #doit #doitagain #comfortzone . . #ontheroad #optoutside #wanderlust #nature #vwcalifornia #vankit #freedom #solitude #stayandwander #wilderness #rygg #vegan #croatia #roadtrip #issiontour #vanpuppy #explore #adventure #vaninterior #handmade #bagdesign #travel

A post shared by VANTALE (@van.tale) on Jun 8, 2018 at 8:31am PDT

Organization is so important for your sanity when living or camping in a camper van conversion. Even if youre a minimalist guru who wears one outfit and lives off protein bars, youre going to manage to collect more stuff than you think.

And if your lighting isnt great, its going to be even more difficult to find that stuff.

Staying organized will make you feel like you have a handle on the whole #vanlife thing. Organization can be as simple as a few plastic bins that can slide under your bed. Just make sure you know exactly what youre storing in each of them. (Clear storage containers are ideal so you can see whats in there when you inevitably forget.)

Shelly S. camps in her 4Runner. Its not a van, but the same concepts apply, she tells me. Organization is important for her, too. Mountainsmith has some nice storage cubes soft sided and stuffable. That being said, you can do about the same with those free cloth shopping totes, stored in either a cardboard box or a plastic bin.

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#HELP All right Vanlifers or Van designers or Anyone reallyI need your help! I have this space. All this space. Crazy right when you live in a van, usually it's the complete opposite. So.what the heck do I do with it!? I'd prefer not to put any more storage or I'll just fill it with crap (most of this stuff in the back is not mine). I don't need a pull-out kitchen or a place to store bikes, adventure gear. So other than turning it into a bedroom and renting it I'm at a miss.. Any suggestions???

A post shared by Sian Knox (@exmouth_vanlife) on Dec 22, 2017 at 9:07pm PST

Leah W. recommends as few belongings as possible for staying organized. My biggest recommendation is really paring things down to what you NEED. I had one set of basic utensils, one pot, plate, and bowl, a one burner stove, etc. A small toiletry bag, one duffel bag of summer clothing, one duffel bag of winter clothing. She agrees with Shelly about using bags for organization. While most people are fans of creating boxes for organization, we found that sturdy-ish bags worked best.

I went to the Container Store and bought a couple of soft containers with attached lids. Because the structure of the containers is fabric, theyre easy to stick into places where they barely fit, like the storage area above the driver and passenger seats of my GMC Vandura.

Hooks have also been a sanity saver for me in my sometimes not so organized camper van conversion. I keep a jacket and a couple of shirts that I dont want to be all wrinkly, hanging on a hook by the door. I always know where they are, and I can reach extra layers if I get cold at night. I also have a hook for my headlamp, because that is something that always gets lost.

When it comes to food storage, youll need to think about uninvited house visitors.

Store your food in closed containers or bins, advises Leah W. We started our trip with our food in an open crate, and quickly had mouse friends also enjoying our snacks.

Related Articles:

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Off Road Campers

The post How to Keep it Simple with Your Camper Van Conversion appeared first on The Dyrt Magazine.

(function(){if(window.instgrm)window.instgrm.Embeds.process()})() Arplis - News source https://arplis.com/blogs/news/how-to-keep-it-simple-with-your-camper-van-conversion

[swanqueeneverafter]

01. Pilot, Pt.4

Storybrooke. Present. (Emma is driving out of town.) Emma: (To herself:) “Stupid, stupid, stupid! (She spies Henry's book on the seat next to her.) Sneaky bastard.” (Looking up, Emma sees a wolf standing in the road, she gasps and the car spins out of control, crashing into the "Welcome to Storybrooke" sign. Emma's head hits the steering wheel and she falls unconscious. In the middle of the road, the wolf howls. The storybook, fallen to the floor, flips pages with the breeze and comes to rest upon a picture of Geppetto carving the enchanted tree trunk.) The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Castle. (Geppetto and Pinocchio work on the trunk. The camera pans to Snow White, staring out a window. She turns back and approaches Prince Charming.) Snow White: “I don't wanna do this.” Prince Charming: “It has to be you.” Snow White: “I'm not leaving you.” Prince Charming: “It's the only way. You'll go in there, and you'll be safe from the curse.“ Snow White: “He said it would be on her twenty-eighth birthday.” Prince Charming: “What's twenty-eight years when you have eternal love? I have faith. You will save me, as I did you. (They kiss. Snow White breaks away with a look of pain:) What is it?” Snow White: “The baby. She's coming!” The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Castle, parapet. (Grumpy stands guard with Sleepy and two others. He takes a drink from a canteen. Then he sees something and kicks Sleepy awake.) Grumpy: “Wake up. Wake up! Look! (It is a creature flying toward the castle at breakneck speed, trying to outrace a cloud of purple and green smoke. The dragon flies past and Grumpy rings a nearby bell:) The curse! It's HEEEEEERE!“ Storybrooke. Present. Storybrooke Sheriff Department. (Emma, lying on a cot, opens her eyes. Leroy is in the cell next to her, softly whistling "Whistle While You Work", and Marco stands outside, repairing a cabinet.)

Leroy: “What are you looking at, sister?” Marco: “Hey, Leroy—manners! We have a guest! So you are eh, Henry's mother. How lovely for him to have you back in his life.” Emma: “Actually, I was just dropping him off.” Leroy: “Tkh. Don't blame ya. They're all brats; who needs 'em.” Marco: “Well, I'd give anything for one. My wife and I, we tried for many years, but, uh... it was not meant to be.” Leroy: “Well cry me a river.” Sheriff Graham: (Entering and unlocking Leroy's cell:) “Leroy! I'm going to let you out; you need to behave. Put on a smile, and stay out of trouble.” (Leroy smiles falsely, then exits.) Emma: “Seriously?” Sheriff Graham: “Regina's drinks; a little stronger than we thought?” Emma: “I wasn't drunk; there was a wolf, standing in the middle of the road.” Sheriff Graham: “A wolf. Right.” Emma: “Well, maybe I was a little drunk.”

Regina: (From the hallway:) “Graham? Henry's run away again, we have to-- (She comes into the room:) what is she doing here? (To Emma:) Do you know where he is?” Emma: “Lady, I haven't seen him since I dropped him at your house, and-- (Indicates prison bars:) —pretty good alibi.” Regina: “Yeah, well, he wasn't in his room this morning.” Emma: “Did you try his friends?” Regina: “He doesn't really have any. Kind of a loner.” Emma: “Every kid has friends. Did you check his computer? If he was close to someone he'd be emailing them.” Regina: “And you know this how?” Emma: “Finding people's what I do. Here's an idea; how 'bout you guys let me out, and I'll help you find him.” Storybrooke. Present. Mayor's House, Upstairs Bedroom. (Emma and Sheriff Graham pore over a computer screen. Regina watches on.) Emma: “Smart kid. Cleared his inbox. I'm smart too, (Holds up a flash drive:) a little hard disk recovery utility I like to use.” Sheriff Graham: “I'm a bit more old-fashioned, in my techniques. Pounding the pavement, knocking on doors, that sort of thing.” Emma: “You're on salary; I get paid for delivery. Pounding pavement is not a luxury that I get. Ah, there's a receipt for a website, whosyourmomma.org—it's expensive. He has a credit card?” Regina: “He's ten.” Emma: “Well, he used one. (Cut to computer screen, where the card clearly belongs to Mary Margaret Blanchard:) Let's pull up a transaction record. Mary Margaret Blanchard, who's Mary Margaret Blanchard?” Regina: “Henry's teacher.”

Storybrooke. Present. Storybrooke Elementary School. (Mary Margaret, holding a bird in her hand, is teaching.) Mary Margaret: “As we build our birdhouses, remember: what you're making is a home. Not a cage. A bird is free, and will do what it will. This is for them, not us. They're loyal creatures.. (Releases the bird out the window; it flies up to a birdhouse:) If you love them and they love you, they will always find you. (Bell rings; class rises:) We'll pick this up after recess. No running! (Accepts a pear from a student:) Why thank you! (Regina enters the room:) Mayor Mills, what are you doing here?” Regina: “Where's my son?” Mary Margaret: “Henry... I assumed he was home with you.” Regina: “You think I'd be here if he was? Did you give him your credit card so he can find her?” (She gestures toward Emma, standing just inside the doorway.) Mary Margaret: (To Emma:) “I'm sorry, who are you?” Emma: “I'm—I'm his--” Regina: “The woman who gave him up for adoption.” Emma: “You don't know anything about this, do you?” Mary Margaret: “No, unfortunately not. (Searches for credit card:) Clever boy. I should never have given him that book.” Regina: “What in the hell is this book I keep hearing about?” Mary Margaret: “Just some old stories I gave him. As you well know, Henry is a special boy: so smart, so creative, and as you might be aware, lonely. He needed it.” Regina: “What he needs is dose of reality. This is a waste of time. (To Emma:) Have a nice trip back to Boston.” (She walks out in a huff, knocking over a stack of books on the way. Emma helps Mary Margaret pick them up.) Emma: “Sorry to bother you.” Mary Margaret: “No, it's--it's okay, I fear this is partially my fault.”

Emma: “How's a book supposed to help?” Mary Margaret: “What do you think stories are for? These stories? The classics? There's a reason we all know them. They're a way for us to deal with our world. A world that doesn't always make sense. See, Henry hasn't had the easiest life.” (They leave the classroom, walking down the hall.) Emma: “Yeah, she's kind of a hard-ass.” Mary Margaret: “No, it's more than her. He's like any adopted child. He wrestles with that most basic question they all inevitably face: why would anyone give me away? (Realizing what she's said:) I am so sorry. I'm so sorry, I didn't mean in any way to judge you...” Emma: “It's okay.” Mary Margaret: “Look, I gave the book to him because I wanted Henry to have the most important thing anyone can have; hope. Believing in even the possibility of a happy ending is a very powerful thing.” Emma: “You know where he is, don't you.” Mary Margaret: “You might want to check his castle.” The Enchanted Forest. Past. The Castle. (Snow White is in the final stages of labor. Prince Charming holds her while Doc waits by the bedside. Concurrently, the Queen's forces ride through a forest to the castle.) Snow White: “Ahhh! Help! I can't have this baby now!” Prince Charming: “Doc. Do something. (To Snow White:) It's gonna be okay. The wardrobe's almost finished, just—just hold on.” Snow White: “Nooooo! Ahhh!” Geppetto: (Entering the room:) “It's ready.” Prince Charming: (Very softly:) “It's ready.” (He starts to pick up Snow White.) Doc: “It's too late. We can't move her.” Prince Charming: “Push. Push.” (We cut back and forth between the Castle and the forest. The Queen's riders are followed closely by the Dark Curse. Snow White has successfully given birth, to an infant covered in a blanket with "Emma" embroidered on it. Prince Charming kisses Snow White's forehead.) Snow White: (Groggily:) “The wardrobe. It only takes one.” (She and Prince Charming share a look until a blast and a whinny outside the door cause them to look that way.) Prince Charming: “Then our plan has failed. At least we're together.” Snow White: “No. You have to take her. Take the baby to the wardrobe.” Prince Charming: “Are you out of your mind?” Snow White: “No. It's the only way, you have to send her through.” Prince Charming: “No no n-n-n-n-no. You don't know what you're saying.” Snow White: “No, I do. We have to believe that she'll come back for us. We have to giver her her best chance. (Prince Charming kisses Emma on the forehead:) Goodbye, Emma.” (He takes the baby, and his sword.) (Two of the Queen's soldiers murder palace guards. Prince Charming dispatches both, suffering a shoulder wound in the process. Emma is unharmed. He kicks open the door to Geppetto's workshop and places Emma inside the wardrobe and gives her one last forehead kiss.) Prince Charming: “Find us.” (He closes the wardrobe and fights off two more soldiers. One wounds him in the abdomen, and he collapses. The same soldier opens the wardrobe--no sign of Emma. Prince Charming sees this just before he loses consciousness.)

[lifesobeautiful]

Seven Tips For Buying Cheap Appliances for New Homeowners

Home ownership is on the upswing for new couples and an important consideration that comes with house ownership is appliances. Without the right ideas, purchasing appliances can easily burn holes in any couple’s wallet. According to financial expert Howard Clark, just upgrading old appliances will cost an average of $1,033.

Fortunately, there are some valuable steps a new couple can take so they can get reliable but cheap appliances to meet their needs- without breaking the bank. Listed below are six of them.

Know What Features You Need Before Buying

Today’s technology can make it easy and tempting to spend money for features you don’t even need. Do you really need a stove with a built-in computer console or an ice maker on your refrigerator that can cube ice six different ways?

You probably don’t.

The hard truth is that the functionality between very expensive and cheap appliances is the same. Most of the time, they only differ in the extra features they can offer. When buying appliances, decide which features you truly need and compare them with the ones that are only nice to have.

Take Advantage of Holiday Sales

Appliances are often greatly marked down during holidays, like Christmas and Labor Day. Black Friday and Cyber Monday are also great opportunities to save a lot of money.

Most new appliance upgrades are rolled out in September and October, making for great deals on older appliances. Refrigerators, however, are the exception as new models roll out in June.

Don’t be Afraid to Negotiate

Cars aren’t the only big-ticket items with negotiable price tags. Many items, including appliances, are negotiable as well.

Financial guru Howard Clark claims that only 33% of Americans are willing to haggle the price on appliances. Around 75% of them are able to save an average of $100 per appliance. For others, they get discounts when they pay cash. In some cases where discounts aren’t offered, customers can get free delivery and installation. Some even get free haul away of the old appliances

You’ll never know if you don’t ask.

Buy Pre-owned Appliances

Often, when people want to upgrade to more features, they sell their old appliances on Craig’s List and other venues at greatly reduced prices. These appliances usually have a lot of life in them and are perfectly functional. People just want to get rid of them so they can upgrade to a model with more bells and whistles.

Don’t Overlook Scratch and Dent

Dealers will sell “scratch and dent” appliances at large markdowns. This is a chance to save anywhere from 10 to 50% off of the retail price.

Don’t worry about getting damaged appliances. Those scratches and dents aren’t that noticeable unless you’re really looking for them. Plus, they don’t affect the functionality of the appliances.

Don’t Forget Security

While you’re getting new appliances, don’t forget to invest in a good home security system to protect them. Most systems come with a convenient app for your security and peace of mind.

See Also: 10 People in Urgent Need of Smart Home Security Systems

Do Your Research

This is one of the most important things you should do when looking for cheap appliances. Compare different brands, prices and features when you visit dealers and you’ll be surprised at the price differences same items have. Use the information you collected in deciding which features you really need and which are mere luxury items.

Buying cheap appliances may seem like a daunting task. Modern technology has made everything more complicated in many ways, but most appliances still have the same basic features that they have had for the past 40 years. Hopefully, this article is able to give you some ideas to get the best deals for your money.

  The post Seven Tips For Buying Cheap Appliances for New Homeowners appeared first on Dumb Little Man.

This article was first shared from Dumb Little Man

[bigyack-com]

Why the Apple iPhone SE Doesn't Matter

This article is part of the On Tech newsletter. You can sign up here to receive it weekdays.Join us for a live conversation about tech and the coronavirus. Today at 4 p.m. Eastern time, my Times Opinion colleague Charlie Warzel and I are hosting a conference call to talk about the use of smartphone location data to fight the coronavirus and other aspects of using technology in this pandemic. Lend us your ears, and ask your burning questions. You can RSVP here.This sure feels like a strange time for Apple to release a new iPhone. But here’s a hard truth: Our habits show that new phones are irrelevant to most of us — in a pandemic or otherwise.Brian X. Chen, a New York Times personal technology writer, wrote about Apple’s plan to release a new version of the iPhone SE next week. That’s the four-year-old model with a relatively small screen and a relatively low price of $399 and up in the United States.This iPhone model hasn’t been a blockbuster, but it’s a nice option for some people. Apple and other companies are likely to keep releasing more fresh smartphone models this year, perhaps with some pandemic-related delays.Conditions aren’t ideal for selling stuff. American consumer spending in March fell at the fastest rate in the nearly three decades the government has tracked the data. Many stores around the world, including Apple’s and other cellphone retailers’, are closed. Millions of newly unemployed people don’t have spare money, and Americans are shifting what they are buying. Groceries and streaming video, yes. Electronics, no.Apple probably had this latest model ready to go before the pandemic hit — and sure, why not give it a go? The honest truth is, it’s impossible to predict if and when our buying habits will return to normal.New smartphones have been a tough sell for some time. People in the United States and many other countries are waiting longer to replace their phones — for Americans, it’s more than three years on average.Pick your favorite explanation for this phenomenon. Many people don’t want to pay the going rate of $1,000 or more for phones with all the bells and whistles. To some people, even the features that are supposed to be exciting feel blah.The best explanation for the smartphone sales malaise is a simple one: This is what happens when products go from new and novel to normal.Products get more reliable and resilient as they become mass market, and new models don’t feel so different from the old. Apart from the die-hards, most people lose interest in the latest and greatest. The hot new thing feels…fine.In Brian’s assessment of last fall’s iPhone models, he said there was no rush to buy a new phone if your current one is less than a few years old. (Yes, a professional tech reviewer suggested you might NOT need to buy something.)The shift from wow to shrug happened with cars, personal computers and televisions. More than a decade after modern smartphones hit the market, we’ve lost our zing for those pocket computers, too. Until economic conditions stabilize, our zing will probably be even less zingy than normal.A smartphone is now a refrigerator. We need it, but we don’t replace our current model when a new ice-making feature comes out. This is not great for companies with shiny new phones to sell. For the rest of us, it’s fine.

When old tech really is a problem

A three-year-old smartphone is great. Broken government technology that’s failing struggling people is not.My colleagues have written about the Small Business Administration’s online application system melting down with loan requests from businesses applying for help. A Lyft driver in New York was told to fax his pay stubs to the unemployment office. There are unprecedented demands right now. But, wow, this is a bad look for government technology when it’s needed most.The problem isn’t necessarily the age of the technology used by government organizations. It’s the upkeep.The hidden secret of the internet is that behind the scenes, there are Sputnik-era computers doing chores like handling your credit card payment on Amazon and filling your online travel reservations. That 60-year-old computer programming language that New Jersey’s governor talked about? It works, as long as there are people to keep it up-to-date.The problem with many government and even corporate technology is the lack of money and care for upkeep. Chris O’Malley, the chief executive of Compuware, which works on old tech, told me there’s a mentality that tech systems are something you set up once and they’re done. Nope. If it ain’t broke, it still needs fixing.

Before we go …

When “less bad” is good. Businesses are cutting back on advertisements. Others are nervous about their ads appearing in a Facebook feed next to grim news. That dynamic is likely to hurt Google and Facebook, which make most of their money from selling ads, my Times colleagues write. Still, the tech titans will probably hold up better than other companies reliant on advertising.We need baby ducks right now: In our doom times, people are gravitating to news websites and social media accounts featuring happy tales like a police officer guiding ducklings, the Times reporter Taylor Lorenz writes. (A shameless plug to stick around for the end of this newsletter.)Another idea to bridge America’s digital divide: Thomas L. Friedman, the Times Opinion columnist, talks up a proposal for federal loans and regulatory changes to help rural communities and cooperatives build fast internet networks. Expanding online access would encourage more inventions like the robotic poultry coop cleaners he found in Minnesota. Yesterday, I wrote about another plan to make fast internet available to more people.Stick to the basics. Brian, in another article, said the pandemic has made it clear what technology is essential in our personal lives, and what is neat but frivolous.Hugs to thisPete Wells, a restaurant critic for The Times, writes a lovely appreciation of this six-hour video of sheep at a California vineyard. They are mostly sitting, bleating or munching grass. The monotony is strangely soothing.You can reach us at ontech@nytimes.com.To receive On Tech in your inbox each weekday, please sign up here. Read the full article

[trueformthings-blog]

What to Do With Those Old Gadgets

Importance of Gadget Reviews In this high tech world, many different products make our lives easier and everyone has their "baby." Perhaps your baby is that dual-core CPU driven computer that helps you get work done, shop online, and surf the internet.

Or, maybe it's that cell phone that helps you keep in touch with your friends and family. If it's not one of these, then it probably is one of the many electronic gadgets that increase our livelihood: televisions, stereos, high tech DVD players, navigation systems, and I-pods. Oh, and to make us feel more secure, let's not forget about security gadgets such as home security systems, baby monitors and smoke detectors.

While the current models of these devices are nice and do a great deal to enhance our lives, we still seem to be driven by a force that leads us on a never-ending quest to buy the latest and greatest gadgets here.

It's like we are fighting an endless battle to keep up with all the latest electronics on the market. For example, look at the rapid evolution of mobile communication devices and the way consumers rushed to buy the newest stuff on the market - and for a good reason.

Back in the day, you had a very limited selection of products to choose from. Mobile communication devices like the walkie talkie and earlier phones were big, bulky, and quite heavy.

I mean the batteries back then weighed more than two of today's cell phones put together. Oh, and what about the reception? Do you remember those long antennas that had to be extended to get a decent signal? It seems like ages but actually, that time was not too long ago.

Nowadays you have 3G and 4G cell phones equipped with wireless internet connections and that is small enough to fit into the palm of your hand.

Now the rapid development of new mobile communication devices is just a small example of a never-ceasing cycle of turning out new and better products at lightning speed.

This really is just the tip of the iceberg. On a larger scale, you have the entire electronics industry that is set on a mission to produce more and more electronic gadgets that are smaller, faster, have more features and greater visual appeal.

Take today's flat-screen TVs for example. Today you could have the sweetest set on the market and within a year you will probably be trying to sell it to a friend to get enough money to buy a newer model that has a higher resolution or more enhanced features.

Going back in time again and look at another example. Do you remember when home video viewing first came out? You relied on that hard- to- load piece of junk BETA player for your movie entertainment.

At the time, most people were satisfied with that since that was all we had. Then came laserdisc players, VHS players, then DVD, and now Blu-Ray. Who has purchased a new DVD player with all the bells and whistles, only to realize you should have just gone with the Blu-Ray player all along?

In our battle to keep up with the industry, and buy gadgets that are the latest and greatest, we are creating an issue of concern that we usually don't think about when we are buying the newest gadgets. Yes, the issue is what to do with all those old unwanted products.

Where do you sell gadgets that are obsolete, or broken down, or that you just don't use any more? With all of the concerns over the environment, trying to cut down on waste, not putting hazardous materials into the ground and all that, how do you recycle used gadgets? Is there a place where you can sell used electronics that are still good? Is there a market where you can sell your old mobile phone now that there are so many new cell phones on the market?

The answer is yes you can sell used electronic gadgets, mobile phone gadgets, computer gadgets, and other home devices, and it isn't as hard as you might think.

Importance of Gadget Reviews

Technology around us is really changing at a fast pace and therefore we must stay in touch with the latest inventions and machines that are becoming a part of our daily lives. Today, you can see new gadgets coming up that is so crucial to us that we can hardly imagine living without them.

Gadgets like PDAs, LCDs, cell phones, and laptops have already invaded our daily life and you will find them in most of our houses. However, with so much technology all around us, it becomes important for us to select the best gadget that suits our budget and our requirements.

Of course, you cannot go ahead and buy each and every gadget available in the market. Hence, it is recommended that you read more about the good and the bad points of that particular gadget which is why people prefer to read gadget reviews before they make any further decisions about purchasing that particular gadget.

Gadget reviews are increasingly becoming popular because it provides more information about the latest gadgets that are available in the market and whether they are really worth buying or not.

Since gadget reviews provide us with the details of the product it gives us a clear picture of the gadget and buyers can compare one product with the other before they go ahead and buy it.

Today, you will find many magazines available on the bookstalls that are primarily published to provide news about the latest gadgets and other gadget reviews.

These magazines are becoming popular because they not only provide gadget reviews but also provide different pictures of the gadget from different angles that give buyers an option to think if they want to buy the product or look for a different model.

Many websites like CNET are becoming popular over the times as buyers have an option to quickly look for the model they are about to purchase and read about the quality, durability, and prices of that particular model.

This allows more freedom and options to the buyers so that they can invest their money on some better products that would enhance their lifestyle.

Gadget reviews websites also allow actual users to post their experience and opinions that would help other users to know if the gadget really works in real-time and is something worth the money they will be spending.

[sailorrrvenus]

Making MAYA, the Only Darkroom Timer You’ll Ever Need

MAYA is a darkroom timer project that was born out of necessity when my old darkroom timer had started to malfunction. It has become a pretty successful crowdfunding campaign so far, exceeding 300% of its initial goal with a few days left to go.

Like many people who still have a darkroom, I’ve bought most of the equipment in the used market. As is the case with such niche markets, you can’t always pick your choice from an endless supply of brands, models, and variations so I went for the best deal I could see, a Kaiser 6002 with several boxes loaded with all kinds of darkroom supplies. The seller was one of the nicest people I’ve met and explained in great detail what I was walking out with. In one of those boxes, there was a darkroom timer.

He had fully explained that it wasn’t the best timer in the world. It would only have two functions, turn the enlarger lamp on and off at my will so that I could focus and upon pressing the countdown button, it would turn the enlarger on for a set amount of time, making an exposure. Except that every now and then it would get stuck (usually around the 15-second mark) and give me an unending exposure, resulting in crushed blacks and grayed out highlights, depending on how late I was to react to the needle getting stuck.

Approaching the zone of doom… or maybe it’ll be fine this time…

I had looked for replacement timers and I still remember closing down all the tabs in my browser in frustration. Even the simplest timers, similar to what I had, would cost more than I’m willing to pay. As I had gained more darkroom experience, I began to realize I didn’t want a similar replacement anyway. Having such a simple timer became quite limiting as I had begun to work with split grades, multiple exposures, dodging and burning, flashing the paper… Each session I was finding myself more willing to get a much more capable unit, something that would let me set it up as I want and then simply get out of the way as I was making the final print.

There’s a good deal of work behind even a simple print like this

Then on one such day, I was met with my timer’s much-worsened situation. Now it would get stuck much more often and at every single spot on the dial. It was almost impossible to even make a reliable test strip with repeated 5” exposures. So I began revisiting all the manufacturers who still make a darkroom timer, along with the used ones commonly available.

Did not like any of them.

I was looking for something more practical. Even though I shoot film, mostly using equipment that was designed and built decades ago, that doesn’t mean I want to work with a badly designed interface with 4-digit numeric codes and lookup tables requiring multiple button combinations and memorizing what and where everything is. It’s 2018 (it was back then), why can’t we have something with a proper LCD? Why is anything with F-Stops so expensive? Why am I expected to pay 350$/€/£ for some add-on which is basically a 0.20$/€/£ electronic part attached to a cable? Why do I have to buy a different model with different capabilities which clearly runs on the exact same hardware, if all I want is some of those capabilities? Why can’t this be done with a simple firmware update?

I could do better than this.

I knew people were already building simple timers using Arduino microcontrollers. So, why not build something far more advanced? It’s a small computer that is available cheaply and is easily reprogrammable. If it handles 3D printers, CNC machines and all kind of silly robots that you can find all over the Internet, how hard would it be to ask it turn a light off and on?

A few seconds after these thoughts, my industrial designer instincts kicked in. “It’s just software in a box”, a voice said from the back of my head. “Just build another box, upload the software and you have a copy that you can sell. If it turns out as good as you imagine it to be, people will buy it”.

Can you hear the people queuing up?

So I went out, bought two Arduino boards, an LCD and assorted lengths of wire and started working with them. Did a whole notebook worth of sketches of both the physical and the graphical user interface. From the start, I wanted to have dials and a few buttons that I could repurpose as I saw fit. It has a screen, after all. I could communicate with the user, telling what each of these dials and buttons does in a given menu or mode. Yet at the same time, I would keep the two most essential buttons serve only one purpose, one to focus and one to expose. No double clicks, no press and hold, no excuses. Press them and they should do their job.

First sketches of the box

Even though having an LCD is nice and informative, I wanted to have another way of displaying the most crucial information, the countdown time and the contrast filter that I’m supposed to use. For that, I added two large displays to either side of the LCD. Shortly afterward it became natural to look at those displays to figure out what I was supposed to do next when making a print; expose for a certain amount of time, replace the contrast filter, dodge or burn a certain area.

Maybe I should have gotten two egg timers. Nah, I’ll just design and build a small computer:

After deciding on the basic design language, I began to design the graphical user interface, all the menus and screens. There were many variations, seemingly good concepts that were abandoned shortly after using them in the real world and seemingly dead ends that made it back somehow into later versions.

One such concept was replacing the LCD with an E Ink display. Would’ve been easy to read under the red safelight and I liked the idea of displaying a clock face on the e-ink display to act as a progress bar. Had to abandon this idea after realizing even with partial refresh, e-ink displays have a very low refresh rate and a very annoying blink when refreshing the whole screen. Shelved the concept without building a single prototype and maybe I’ll bring it back one day but the progress bar idea made it into the next version of the hardware, as a series of LEDs that visualize my progress along the whole print recipe or the current countdown.

Here’s me making some test strips with F-Stops (don’t have to follow the time display, the progress bar tells me how long it’ll take):

Until about that point, the whole thing was still a pet project that I intended to build as a replacement for my timer. When I shared it on a few Facebook groups (The Darkroom and Medium&Large Format film Photography, both excellent places of exchanging information and photography), it was met with great encouragement, very positive feedback and quite a few new ideas. There were also the occasional “yeah cool but I like having a basic timer,” which is still valid feedback, some people don’t care for what I was after at all. That day I had made up my mind, I would prioritize this project, get it out on the market for everyone who’d like to have one and… then what?

What if I had built an enlarger as well? Or an automated film processor, some people really like that idea as it’s been demonstrated quite a few times in the last years. What else? There is quite a capable microprocessor inside MAYA and if I had planned the hardware ahead, I could’ve come up with all sorts of darkroom related hardware and make them work with it via a simple firmware update. How about an affordable densitometer? A shutter speed tester? A head probe for people who use cold light enlargers, one of the many great ideas that came from that thread on Facebook? Support for Ilford Multigrade heads? I had already separated the Power Bar (where all the darkroom appliances are connected to) from the control unit so most of these enlarger-unrelated add-ons would simply use the same interface for communication and with the right hardware, I could even use MAYA as a sous vide machine.

Definitely sous vide

Is it sous vide if you do everything by hand? (It already does have a separate mode for film process timer and an auto-compensating thermometer)

With all my plans set, I could finally launch a crowdfunding campaign. I knew that there’s a great deal of negativity surrounding crowdfunding projects these days, especially in our community thanks to a few projects who have cheated out quite a few people by either overpromising with fancy looking non-working prototypes or cool-sounding concepts that became to no fruition of any kind. With no previous projects of this kind or a bought-and-repurposed brand name that is familiar in the industry, I had to be as transparent as possible. Which meant taking an extra month or two developing the concept into a later stage, shoot a lot of videos, share them around, show MAYA in use for everyone to see and understand.

Photo of the first prototype unit

White Edition, has mostly the same capabilities without some of the bells and whistles

Since I’m in such a late stage of design, there isn’t much to do before finalizing the product. One aspect that I had not finalized is the final choice of materials and production methods. For that, I had to see how many of these I’d expect to build. Even if I had sold only a handful of units, I could still be able to deliver by using traditional production methods. If I had approached triple digits, I could use some more sophisticated materials and techniques to build them. Deep into triple digits would’ve been pretty much mass production with me being much less involved in most of the steps, except for final assembly, quality control, and delivery.

All I had needed in the first place though, was a handful of people to believe in my project.

Met that initial goal in about than 39 hours. Had doubled it in less than a week and with only a few days to go, I’ve passed 300% of my initial goal. This could only happen with the help of some lovely people in the community. The people who spread the word around. What we see the most often is all the negativity in the comment section and forum threads but we don’t hear enough praise for people who share their enthusiasm with others.

So once again, thank you everyone who had ever left a comment on any of my posts anywhere. Thank you to everyone who shared the word around, in the forums, Facebook groups, mail groups and Discord servers they hang in. Couldn’t have done this without some people spending night after night of their own time, giving me new ideas, feedback and encouragement. We, as a photography community in general, are getting fewer in numbers (even though film photography is actually growing) and the best part of this project has been meeting all the lovely strangers over the Internet. Thank you, everyone.

And here we are. With the crowdfunding about to be completed, hard work awaits me. I have to debug my code, do a few experiments with the future projects to ensure compatibility, finalize the design, order and manufacture the parts and put everything together. With the extra funding raised, I’ve already begun working on a few of those steps and assuming everything goes smoothly, will deliver the first batch in July and the second batch in August.

Then I’ll return with another project. Something that I’ve already been working on…

About the author: Can Çevik is an industrial designer and film photographer based in Istanbul, Turkey. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. Çevik is the inventor of MAYA, an advanced darkroom timer. You can find more of his work and photos on Instagram.

source https://petapixel.com/2019/03/13/making-maya-the-only-darkroom-timer-youll-ever-need/

[pauldeckerus]

Making MAYA, the Only Darkroom Timer You’ll Ever Need

MAYA is a darkroom timer project that was born out of necessity when my old darkroom timer had started to malfunction. It has become a pretty successful crowdfunding campaign so far, exceeding 300% of its initial goal with a few days left to go.

Like many people who still have a darkroom, I’ve bought most of the equipment in the used market. As is the case with such niche markets, you can’t always pick your choice from an endless supply of brands, models, and variations so I went for the best deal I could see, a Kaiser 6002 with several boxes loaded with all kinds of darkroom supplies. The seller was one of the nicest people I’ve met and explained in great detail what I was walking out with. In one of those boxes, there was a darkroom timer.

He had fully explained that it wasn’t the best timer in the world. It would only have two functions, turn the enlarger lamp on and off at my will so that I could focus and upon pressing the countdown button, it would turn the enlarger on for a set amount of time, making an exposure. Except that every now and then it would get stuck (usually around the 15-second mark) and give me an unending exposure, resulting in crushed blacks and grayed out highlights, depending on how late I was to react to the needle getting stuck.

Approaching the zone of doom… or maybe it’ll be fine this time…

I had looked for replacement timers and I still remember closing down all the tabs in my browser in frustration. Even the simplest timers, similar to what I had, would cost more than I’m willing to pay. As I had gained more darkroom experience, I began to realize I didn’t want a similar replacement anyway. Having such a simple timer became quite limiting as I had begun to work with split grades, multiple exposures, dodging and burning, flashing the paper… Each session I was finding myself more willing to get a much more capable unit, something that would let me set it up as I want and then simply get out of the way as I was making the final print.

There’s a good deal of work behind even a simple print like this

Then on one such day, I was met with my timer’s much-worsened situation. Now it would get stuck much more often and at every single spot on the dial. It was almost impossible to even make a reliable test strip with repeated 5” exposures. So I began revisiting all the manufacturers who still make a darkroom timer, along with the used ones commonly available.

Did not like any of them.

I was looking for something more practical. Even though I shoot film, mostly using equipment that was designed and built decades ago, that doesn’t mean I want to work with a badly designed interface with 4-digit numeric codes and lookup tables requiring multiple button combinations and memorizing what and where everything is. It’s 2018 (it was back then), why can’t we have something with a proper LCD? Why is anything with F-Stops so expensive? Why am I expected to pay 350$/€/£ for some add-on which is basically a 0.20$/€/£ electronic part attached to a cable? Why do I have to buy a different model with different capabilities which clearly runs on the exact same hardware, if all I want is some of those capabilities? Why can’t this be done with a simple firmware update?

I could do better than this.

I knew people were already building simple timers using Arduino microcontrollers. So, why not build something far more advanced? It’s a small computer that is available cheaply and is easily reprogrammable. If it handles 3D printers, CNC machines and all kind of silly robots that you can find all over the Internet, how hard would it be to ask it turn a light off and on?

A few seconds after these thoughts, my industrial designer instincts kicked in. “It’s just software in a box”, a voice said from the back of my head. “Just build another box, upload the software and you have a copy that you can sell. If it turns out as good as you imagine it to be, people will buy it”.

Can you hear the people queuing up?

So I went out, bought two Arduino boards, an LCD and assorted lengths of wire and started working with them. Did a whole notebook worth of sketches of both the physical and the graphical user interface. From the start, I wanted to have dials and a few buttons that I could repurpose as I saw fit. It has a screen, after all. I could communicate with the user, telling what each of these dials and buttons does in a given menu or mode. Yet at the same time, I would keep the two most essential buttons serve only one purpose, one to focus and one to expose. No double clicks, no press and hold, no excuses. Press them and they should do their job.

First sketches of the box

Even though having an LCD is nice and informative, I wanted to have another way of displaying the most crucial information, the countdown time and the contrast filter that I’m supposed to use. For that, I added two large displays to either side of the LCD. Shortly afterward it became natural to look at those displays to figure out what I was supposed to do next when making a print; expose for a certain amount of time, replace the contrast filter, dodge or burn a certain area.

Maybe I should have gotten two egg timers. Nah, I’ll just design and build a small computer:

After deciding on the basic design language, I began to design the graphical user interface, all the menus and screens. There were many variations, seemingly good concepts that were abandoned shortly after using them in the real world and seemingly dead ends that made it back somehow into later versions.

One such concept was replacing the LCD with an E Ink display. Would’ve been easy to read under the red safelight and I liked the idea of displaying a clock face on the e-ink display to act as a progress bar. Had to abandon this idea after realizing even with partial refresh, e-ink displays have a very low refresh rate and a very annoying blink when refreshing the whole screen. Shelved the concept without building a single prototype and maybe I’ll bring it back one day but the progress bar idea made it into the next version of the hardware, as a series of LEDs that visualize my progress along the whole print recipe or the current countdown.

Here’s me making some test strips with F-Stops (don’t have to follow the time display, the progress bar tells me how long it’ll take):

Until about that point, the whole thing was still a pet project that I intended to build as a replacement for my timer. When I shared it on a few Facebook groups (The Darkroom and Medium&Large Format film Photography, both excellent places of exchanging information and photography), it was met with great encouragement, very positive feedback and quite a few new ideas. There were also the occasional “yeah cool but I like having a basic timer,” which is still valid feedback, some people don’t care for what I was after at all. That day I had made up my mind, I would prioritize this project, get it out on the market for everyone who’d like to have one and… then what?

What if I had built an enlarger as well? Or an automated film processor, some people really like that idea as it’s been demonstrated quite a few times in the last years. What else? There is quite a capable microprocessor inside MAYA and if I had planned the hardware ahead, I could’ve come up with all sorts of darkroom related hardware and make them work with it via a simple firmware update. How about an affordable densitometer? A shutter speed tester? A head probe for people who use cold light enlargers, one of the many great ideas that came from that thread on Facebook? Support for Ilford Multigrade heads? I had already separated the Power Bar (where all the darkroom appliances are connected to) from the control unit so most of these enlarger-unrelated add-ons would simply use the same interface for communication and with the right hardware, I could even use MAYA as a sous vide machine.

Definitely sous vide

Is it sous vide if you do everything by hand? (It already does have a separate mode for film process timer and an auto-compensating thermometer)

With all my plans set, I could finally launch a crowdfunding campaign. I knew that there’s a great deal of negativity surrounding crowdfunding projects these days, especially in our community thanks to a few projects who have cheated out quite a few people by either overpromising with fancy looking non-working prototypes or cool-sounding concepts that became to no fruition of any kind. With no previous projects of this kind or a bought-and-repurposed brand name that is familiar in the industry, I had to be as transparent as possible. Which meant taking an extra month or two developing the concept into a later stage, shoot a lot of videos, share them around, show MAYA in use for everyone to see and understand.

Photo of the first prototype unit

White Edition, has mostly the same capabilities without some of the bells and whistles

Since I’m in such a late stage of design, there isn’t much to do before finalizing the product. One aspect that I had not finalized is the final choice of materials and production methods. For that, I had to see how many of these I’d expect to build. Even if I had sold only a handful of units, I could still be able to deliver by using traditional production methods. If I had approached triple digits, I could use some more sophisticated materials and techniques to build them. Deep into triple digits would’ve been pretty much mass production with me being much less involved in most of the steps, except for final assembly, quality control, and delivery.

All I had needed in the first place though, was a handful of people to believe in my project.

Met that initial goal in about than 39 hours. Had doubled it in less than a week and with only a few days to go, I’ve passed 300% of my initial goal. This could only happen with the help of some lovely people in the community. The people who spread the word around. What we see the most often is all the negativity in the comment section and forum threads but we don’t hear enough praise for people who share their enthusiasm with others.

So once again, thank you everyone who had ever left a comment on any of my posts anywhere. Thank you to everyone who shared the word around, in the forums, Facebook groups, mail groups and Discord servers they hang in. Couldn’t have done this without some people spending night after night of their own time, giving me new ideas, feedback and encouragement. We, as a photography community in general, are getting fewer in numbers (even though film photography is actually growing) and the best part of this project has been meeting all the lovely strangers over the Internet. Thank you, everyone.

And here we are. With the crowdfunding about to be completed, hard work awaits me. I have to debug my code, do a few experiments with the future projects to ensure compatibility, finalize the design, order and manufacture the parts and put everything together. With the extra funding raised, I’ve already begun working on a few of those steps and assuming everything goes smoothly, will deliver the first batch in July and the second batch in August.

Then I’ll return with another project. Something that I’ve already been working on…

About the author: Can Çevik is an industrial designer and film photographer based in Istanbul, Turkey. The opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the author. Çevik is the inventor of MAYA, an advanced darkroom timer. You can find more of his work and photos on Instagram.

from Photography News https://petapixel.com/2019/03/13/making-maya-the-only-darkroom-timer-youll-ever-need/

[robgrayofficial]

Happy Saturday Deplorables!This is u/IvaginaryFriend here and I'm back to delver all things spicy and dank from the past week! Before we get started if you happened to miss any past recaps you can check those out here!Now onto the recap!Sunday, December 23rd:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The only way to stop drugs, gangs, human trafficking, criminal elements and much else from coming into our Country is with a Wall or Barrier. Drones and all of the rest are wonderful and lots of fun, but it is only a good old fashioned Wall that works!I am pleased to announce that our very talented Deputy Secretary of Defense, Patrick Shanahan, will assume the title of Acting Secretary of Defense starting January 1, 2019. Patrick has a long list of accomplishments while serving as Deputy, & previously Boeing. He will be great!I just had a long and productive call with President @RT_Erdogan of Turkey. We discussed ISIS, our mutual involvement in Syria, & the slow & highly coordinated pullout of U.S. troops from the area. After many years they are coming home. We also discussed heavily expanded Trade.Unthinkable devastation from the tsunami disaster in Indonesia. More than two hundred dead and nearly a thousand injured or unaccounted for. We are praying for recovery and healing. America is with you!We signed two pieces of major legislation this week, Criminal Justice Reform and the Farm Bill. These are two Big Deals, but all the Fake News Media wants to talk about is “the mistake” of bringing our young people back home from the Never Ending Wars. It all began 19 years ago!Senator Bob Corker just stated that, “I’m so priveledged to serve in the Senate for twelve years, and that’s what I told the people of our state that’s what I’d do, serve for two terms.” But that is Not True - wanted to run but poll numbers TANKED when I wouldn’t endorse him..... ... .....Bob Corker was responsible for giving us the horrible Iran Nuclear Deal, which I ended, yet he badmouths me for wanting to bring our young people safely back home. Bob wanted to run and asked for my endorsement. I said NO and the game was over. #MAGA I LOVE TENNESSEE!Thanks @RandPaul “I am very proud of the President. This is exactly what he promised, and I think the people agree with him. We’ve been at war too long and in too many places...spent several trillion dollars on these wars everywhere. He’s different...that’s why he got elected.”“It should not be the job of America to replace regimes around the world. This is what President Trump recognized in Iraq, that it was the biggest foreign policy disaster of the last several decades, and he’s right...The generals still don’t get the mistake.” @RandPaulMitch McConnell just told a group of people, and me, that he has been in the U.S. Senate for 32 years and the last two have been by far the best & most productive of his career. Tax & Regulation Cuts, VA Choice, Farm Bill, Criminal Justice Reform, Judgeships & much more. Great!The most important way to stop gangs, drugs, human trafficking and massive crime is at our Southern Border. We need Border Security, and as EVERYONE knows, you can’t have Border Security without a Wall. The Drones & Technology are just bells and whistles. Safety for America!“The President has been remarkable. I do not doubt that he will thrive in this new environment, and he will be a constant reminder of what populism is.” Thank you to Tammy Bruce and Steve Hilton. Presidential Harassment has been with me from the beginning!President @RT_Erdogan of Turkey has very strongly informed me that he will eradicate whatever is left of ISIS in Syria....and he is a man who can do it plus, Turkey is right “next door.” Our troops are coming home!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Rand Paul is a national treasure!YouTube is hiding the dislikes in this Bernie Sanders videoHow did California turn blue? Reagan offered amnesty in return for border security in 1986. Amnesty happened, and border security did not. Never forget: You CANNOT trust the left to play fairly on these issues!David Hogg Announces His Acceptance at Harvard -- After 12 Colleges Reject Him for His Less than Stellar School RecordSenator Rand Paul's 2018 Festivus Tweetstorm🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Hey ‘Pedes! Celebrated my anniversary!!How LeBron James sees the world...Encouragement from San Diego!Monday, December 24th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Virtually every Democrat we are dealing with today strongly supported a Border Wall or Fence. It was only when I made it an important part of my campaign, because people and drugs were pouring into our Country unchecked, that they turned against it. Desperately needed!To those few Senators who think I don’t like or appreciate being allied with other countries, they are wrong, I DO. What I don’t like, however, is when many of these same countries take advantage of their friendship with the United States, both in Military Protection and Trade... ... ....We are substantially subsidizing the Militaries of many VERY rich countries all over the world, while at the same time these countries take total advantage of the U.S., and our TAXPAYERS, on Trade. General Mattis did not see this as a problem. I DO, and it is being fixed!For all of the sympathizers out there of Brett McGurk remember, he was the Obama appointee who was responsible for loading up airplanes with 1.8 Billion Dollars in CASH & sending it to Iran as part of the horrific Iran Nuclear Deal (now terminated) approved by Little Bob Corker.AMERICA IS RESPECTED AGAIN!The only problem our economy has is the Fed. They don’t have a feel for the Market, they don’t understand necessary Trade Wars or Strong Dollars or even Democrat Shutdowns over Borders. The Fed is like a powerful golfer who can’t score because he has no touch - he can’t putt!I never “lashed out” at the Acting Attorney General of the U.S., a man for whom I have great respect. This is a made up story, one of many, by the Fake News Media!The Wall is different than the 25 Billion Dollars in Border Security. The complete Wall will be built with the Shutdown money plus funds already in hand. The reporting has been inaccurate on the point. The problem is, without the Wall, much of the rest of Dollars are wasted!Saudi Arabia has now agreed to spend the necessary money needed to help rebuild Syria, instead of the United States. See? Isn’t it nice when immensely wealthy countries help rebuild their neighbors rather than a Great Country, the U.S., that is 5000 miles away. Thanks to Saudi A!I am all alone (poor me) in the White House waiting for the Democrats to come back and make a deal on desperately needed Border Security. At some point the Democrats not wanting to make a deal will cost our Country more money than the Border Wall we are all talking about. Crazy!Christmas Eve briefing with my team working on North Korea – Progress being made. Looking forward to my next summit with Chairman Kim!I am in the Oval Office & just gave out a 115 mile long contract for another large section of the Wall in Texas. We are already building and renovating many miles of Wall, some complete. Democrats must end Shutdown and finish funding. Billions of Dollars, & lives, will be saved!(Retweeting FLOTUS) Helping children across the country track #Santa is becoming one of my favorite traditions! @Potus and I enjoyed working with @NORADSanta - #ChristmasEveSIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:President Trump and Melania talking to children who called @NoradSantaWorld's Youngest Leader Closes Mosques, Deports Imams From AustriaWe hate quantum computing now: Trump signs legislation to back quantum computing with $1.2 billion🚨REDACTED BULLSHIT ALERT🚨 - EVERYTHING President Trump has done has only INCREASED my support of him. In fact, I want more tweets, more everything (especially winning)❗️ AND I’M CORE AF‼️ 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸 I don’t think Redacted knows what core even means...SADNEW JERSEY: FUCK YOU – 1 Million Gun Owners to Become Felons Overnight – Residents of New Jersey were given a deadline to turn in their gun magazines or become felons overnight, and so far, no one is complying.🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Leftists nowadaysNever forget when Trump helped Kevin find the lobby. Merry Christmas!Santa voted Trump!Hmmmm 🤔My wife whipped up a batch of racist, white supremacist alt-right cookies for Christmas day. DELICIOUSTuesday, December 25th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Participates in a Christmas Day Video Teleconference with Members of the Military🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Merry Christmas!I hope everyone, even the Fake News Media, is having a great Christmas! Our Country is doing very well. We are securing our Borders, making great new Trade Deals, and bringing our Troops Back Home. We are finally putting America First. MERRY CHRISTMAS! #MAGASIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:President Trump in the Oval Office on Christmas Day, speaking with military service members stationed at remote sites worldwide to thank them for their service to our nationMerry Christmas from the border road. We’re still here, and we still want our Wall!TV Guide Calls Actor Chris Pratt 'Problematic' for Hunting and Raising Lambs on His Farm==I have no clue who he is (other than what the article gave) but if he's a hunter and raises lambs to eat from his own farm that gets him bonus points from me.FITTON: Merry Christmas from Judicial Watch--Thanks for your strong support this year!🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:An oldie but a goodie!yes, I'm that oldGive a man a jingle, he will jingle for a day. - Teach a man to jingle, he will jingle all the way.Thanks to this woman for these unique times we all live. Merry Christmas Mary TrumpIt's been a great Christmas thanks to all of youWednesday, December 26th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Trump Delivers Remarks To Troops🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:.@FLOTUS Melania and I were honored to visit our incredible troops at Al Asad Air Base in Iraq. GOD BLESS THE U.S.A.!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Troops chant "USA! USA! USA!" as President Trump takes the stageDonald and Melania Trump make surprise visit to US troops in IraqPOTUS and FLOTUS in GermanyPresident Trump doubles down on shutdown saying government won't reopen without wall fundingDow Soars 1,000 Points, Biggest Point Gain EverPresident Trump's Full Speech to US Troops in Iraq 1080p🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Seth Rogen BTFO by Stefan MolyneuxTime Traveling Trump..... Brit Hume ... Master Of The ShitPost...Press Secretary Sarah Sanders: Powerful moment - Member of United States Army told the President he came back into the military because of him. And President Trump responded, “And I am here because of you.” I met him after and he gave me the patch from his arm. Incredible.http://bit.ly/2VekQh7 Hill Celebrates Trump's most memorable insults and nicknames of 2018Thursday, December 27th:TODAY'S ACTION:President Donald J. Trump Announces Intent to Appoint Individual to Key Administration Post🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:Just returned from visiting our troops in Iraq and Germany. One thing is certain, we have incredible people representing our Country - people that know how to win!Have the Democrats finally realized that we desperately need Border Security and a Wall on the Southern Border. Need to stop Drugs, Human Trafficking,Gang Members & Criminals from coming into our Country. Do the Dems realize that most of the people not getting paid are Democrats?The Democrats OBSTRUCTION of the desperately needed Wall, where they almost all recently agreed it should be built, is exceeded only by their OBSTRUCTION of 350 great people wanting & expecting to come into Government after being delayed for more than two years, a U.S. record!The reason the DACA for Wall deal didn’t get done was that a ridiculous court decision from the 9th Circuit allowed DACA to remain, thereby setting up a Supreme Court case. After ruling, Dems dropped deal - and that’s where we are today, Democrat obstruction of the needed Wall.“Border Patrol Agents want the Wall.” Democrat’s say they don’t want the Wall (even though they know it is really needed), and they don’t want ICE. They don’t have much to campaign on, do they? An Open Southern Border and the large scale crime that comes with such stupidity!There is right now a full scale manhunt going on in California for an illegal immigrant accused of shooting and killing a police officer during a traffic stop. Time to get tough on Border Security. Build the Wall!I totally agree!Brad Blakeman: “The American people understand that we have been played by foreign actors who would rather have us fight their battles for them. The President says look, this is your neighborhood, you’ve got to stand up to protect yourselves. Don’t always look to America.”This isn’t about the Wall, everybody knows that a Wall will work perfectly (In Israel the Wall works 99.9%). This is only about the Dems not letting Donald Trump & the Republicans have a win. They may have the 10 Senate votes, but we have the issue, Border Security. 2020!CNN & others within the Fake News Universe were going wild about my signing MAGA hats for our military in Iraq and Germany. If these brave young people ask me to sign their hat, I will sign. Can you imagine my saying NO? We brought or gave NO hats as the Fake News first reported!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Tens of thousands of /r/politics NPCs are rooting for the American economy to collapse.I believe that Melania is first FLOTUS to visit a combat zone since 1969. Someone correct me if I'm wrong.UPDATE: DOJ Colluding with Clinton Email Scandal Witnesses!President Trump, first lady back in Washington after surprise visit to US troops in IraqNot the Onion. This is actually on CNN right now. WTF?!CNN slammed for trashing Trump’s visit to troops, criticizing soldiers for bringing MAGA hats🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:Obama NEVER Missed Seeing The Troops On Christmas Day!RIP to Richard Overton, America’s Oldest Veteran and most badass citizen 🇺🇸Obama NEVER Missed Seeing The Troops On Christmas Day!This is AmericaLiberal news says soldiers were "forced" to be polite for Trump's visit. Were they "forced" to get selfies, too?Friday, December 28th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:We will be forced to close the Southern Border entirely if the Obstructionist Democrats do not give us the money to finish the Wall & also change the ridiculous immigration laws that our Country is saddled with. Hard to believe there was a Congress & President who would approve! ... ....The United States looses soooo much money on Trade with Mexico under NAFTA, over 75 Billion Dollars a year (not including Drug Money which would be many times that amount), that I would consider closing the Southern Border a “profit making operation.” We build a Wall or..... ... .....close the Southern Border. Bring our car industry back into the United States where it belongs. Go back to pre-NAFTA, before so many of our companies and jobs were so foolishly sent to Mexico. Either we build (finish) the Wall or we close the Border...... ... .....Honduras, Guatemala and El Salvador are doing nothing for the United States but taking our money. Word is that a new Caravan is forming in Honduras and they are doing nothing about it. We will be cutting off all aid to these 3 countries - taking advantage of U.S. for years!Thank you to Sean Parnell for the nice comments on @foxandfriends about the troops wonderful reaction to Melania and I in Iraq and Germany. Great things are happening!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:Army pilot: Media sank to a ‘new low’ by trashing Trump’s visit to US troops in war-zone IraqNPC has a meltdown in a vape shop. THIS is how you handle radical leftists.Trump was RIGHT AGAIN! Bombshell! WaPo's Khashoggi Was a Propagandist for Terror-Tied Nation Trying to Change US Policy, Major Scandal for WaPoRolling Stone article about Snoop Dogg and his posse violently gang raping Jimmy Kimmel's makeup artist backstage. Snoop and his good friend Jimmy both paid her to keep it quiet. Libs don't care. #BelieveWomen #MeToo2018 YEAR END WRAP UP FOR FAKE HATE CRIMES, HATE HOAXES AND FAKE RAPES!🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:He knows who's on his team/new is being brigaded hard. Do your part.HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!!!Hey shills, CNN doxxed multiple people for sharing this harmlesss gif on social media. That's who's side you are on and history will remember you for it!As the Book of Kek commands us, "When thou dost see a gray arrow, thou shalt make it orange. For this, I shall chuck blessings upon thee like a side of beef."Saturday, December 29th:🔥🔥TRUMP TWEETS🔥🔥:The Mueller Angry Democrats recently deleted approximately 19,000 Text messages between FBI Agent Lisa Page and her lover, Agent Peter S. These Texts were asked for and INVALUABLE to the truth of the Witch Hunt Hoax. This is a total Obstruction of Justice. All Texts Demanded!I am in the White House waiting for the Democrats to come on over and make a deal on Border Security. From what I hear, they are spending so much time on Presidential Harassment that they have little time left for things like stopping crime and our military!Just had a long and very good call with President Xi of China. Deal is moving along very well. If made, it will be very comprehensive, covering all subjects, areas and points of dispute. Big progress being made!SIGNIFICANT TWEETS AND NEWS:This is Reggie, Officer Singh’s brother. Lurking shills, before downvoting him, take a good hard look at him. If Ronil’s killer were deported on his prior DUI arrests, he would be here today. Stay strong, Reggie. We are with you and every Angel Family who has suffered due to this border madness.CNN spent the entire year supporting, defending & promoting illegal immigrants. Okay. CNN ended the year by attacking United States military personnel in Iraq. Okay. The truth is clear. CNN is a pro-war, anti-America news network.Swedish state broadcaster SVT ran an article claiming that the gruesome ISIS-inspired murder of two Scandinavian girls in Morocco "had nothing to do with Islam," before warning Swedes that sharing a graphic beheading video of the incident could result in up to four years of imprisonment.BREAKING!!! Angela Merkel: Nation States Must "Give Up Sovereignty" To New World Order!!!The anti trump vape employee has been fired. Go easy on the negative reviews now, this was one idiots actions not the store owners🐸 TOP SPICE OF THE DAY 🐸:The Reeeeee Heard 'Round The World....You’re welcome.MAGA!Safe to say Melania is the most beautiful FIRST LADY!WEEEW LAD!!Of course, no recap is complete without some tunes to get you jamming on this beautiful Saturday:Why iii love the moonReconcileLowlifeFadedPussy MineOrange ShirtMAGA ON PATRIOTS! #robgray

[mariannewhughes]

Father Fixers

Warning: Father’s Day is June 17. That’s coming up fast, folks. And this year, we’re honoring the dads, grandpas, uncles, friends, and mentors who taught us how to fix. In addition to providing much-needed support and guidance during our formative years, these relationships often serve as our first introduction to repair and tinkering.

Here at iFixit, we’ve got a whole pack of new dads and parents. So we rounded them all up to ask them about their favorite iFixit toolkits, and if they’ve recently repaired anything with (or for) their kids. Turns out, the fixer gene has not been spared with iFixit’s youngest generation. We were impressed by the sheer variety of things that dads have fixed for their kids—as well as the repair savvy their little ones possess in their own right. 

Meet the dads who keep iFixit running and see for yourself:

Brett Hartt, Lead Tool Designer

“My daughter’s only 14 months old, so we don’t really do a lot of repair together yet… She breaks a lot of things. Usually it’s plastic components that break, so a lot of times it’s just gluing it back together. She also knocks a lot of things off that just require glue for now. She’s got a little playpen—we call it the command seat because she sits it in the middle of it and has all sorts of fun bells and whistles. So she sits in the middle of that, and it has all sorts of little screws and things, so we’re replacing screws or getting access to the battery components to install the batteries. And then after a few months, when we’re sick of all the sounds—to take the batteries back out… If it’s not in the Pro Tech Screwdriver Set, I reach for the Manta Driver Kit. Just because there’s so many bits available, I can find the right screwdriver bit.”

JC Solis, Graphic Designer

“I helped my kids fix a Doc McStuffins hospital cart that played sounds and stuff like that. The sound wasn’t working anymore—none of the buttons played sounds or anything. And we had swapped the batteries out, and nothing was working. I used the Pro Tech to open it up with them, and a prong had come loose in the battery connector. So it was one of those prongs that slid in and out, and we basically slid it back in and it was fine. It was a pretty straightforward fix. But that was one that I did with my kids. And they were super excited about it—for something so simple. But I usually go to the Pro Tech for almost everything, just because it’s so convenient. Like in case I need to take off adhesive or anything like that, all the tools are right there, already in the roll. I usually use that for most of the repairs I do around the house.”

Parker Hayes, Warehouse Manager

“I really like the Pro Tech—it’s probably the one I’ve used the most. I’ve used it to repair both mine and my wife’s H61M-A several times—the display and battery and headphone jack area… I haven’t done any repairs with her—all those were done just before she was born, now that I think about it. I definitely want to build stuff—I don’t think I have anything to repair at the moment. She’s really interested in all sorts of everything—she really likes to discover and hold things. Mechanics are something she loves. So I’m really excited to show her. It’s all in the search of knowledge. She loves just finding out what it is and seeing that it does—not even that it does anything important, but that it does. Does anything. Because it’s all new to her. It’s really neat seeing her learn.”

Marty Rippens, Technical Educator

“They took it upon themselves to fix their Wii because it wasn’t working. And I had the Pro Tech, so that’s what we used. I tried to help, but they pretty much did it themselves. I just offered encouragement. They got it to work again. They just feel more empowered about it—they know I work here, and I have the tools—so why not? It was cool.”

Scott Head, Operations Manager

“In the Pro Tech and the 64 Bit Kit, I really like the driver itself. I use that for all kinds of stuff. I used the Pro Tech to take apart a baby monitor, years ago. The thing’s of course glued shut—there’s no screws on the outside. So I had to separate the whole thing using that metal spudger and then screws to take out the various parts that were broken. It was a loose power jack. I did that a few years ago. It’s not built for repair of course—it’s glued shut. Trying to get in there, you run the risk of stabbing yourself with the opening tools.”

David Rans, Software Engineering Manager

“I fixed a coffee grinder recently, which was fun. I used my Pro Tech Toolkit. I used the Mahi Kit the other day. I used the big, hefty driver to take apart my computer, and that was cool. I liked the big driver, it just felt a lot more heavy duty, and it was nice for taking tight things apart. The heft gave me some more leverage, with the bigger, tougher bits. I use the Magnetic Project Mat all the time—that’s super handy for taking things apart, keeping track of all the screws.”

Danny Beardsley, Software Developer

“Sometime in the last year, my mother-in-law bought this toy for my son. It’s from like the ‘70s, maybe even earlier. It’s this old plane. And it’s maybe a foot wide, and you pull the trigger, and it spins the propellers when you pull the trigger. And it’s really neat, and it’s lasted 40 or 50 years. But it was getting really hard to pull—it was kind of gummed up. So one night after the kids went to bed, I pulled it apart and was able to find all sorts of bearings and surfaces that rub on each other, and I cleaned them all up and oiled them. But there were quite a few screws in it—and I always just grab my Pro Tech Toolkit—and sure enough, it was all I needed to get it open… I cleaned it up and put it back together, and showed him the next morning—because he loved the thing but didn’t have the strength to pull it. He was like, ‘Daddy, you make it spin the propeller!’ It’s been fun to have him see me fix something and then it comes out the other side usable again, and not destroyed.”

Jeff Snyder, Director of eCommerce

“I did a handful of repairs before Joan was born—so in preparation, prepping the house. We moved into a sweet condo, and we thought that the dishwasher worked because it was full of clean dishes. But it turns out that the folks who sold us the house cleverly filled it with dishes as though it had just finished a cycle… So I needed to fix that before the child came—because hand-washing dishes is very time consuming. So I actually used prying tools from the Pro Tech, of course. But I also used the handles from the Manta Driver Kit. And the big knobby handles in the ¼” drive were helpful for screwing the basic Phillips #02 screws that were totally stuck on there with all sorts of awesome little bits of heavy metals that dried on there. So it was a pretty basic repair. It was that plus the use of the prying tools and spudgers to deal with all the little tabs and take that thing out… Now I can wash lots of grown-up dishes. Because, for whatever reason, we don’t wash most bottles and that sort of thing in the dishwasher. I don’t know. My wife read an article or something.”

Richard Suovanen, Technical Educator

“The Pro Tech is a really good one because it has pretty much everything. Amelie really likes it too because she likes the little Magnetic Mat—she’s always sticking things on it, and she uses it to fix all her little toys and replace batteries on her stuff. I usually get her to help me fix, do car maintenance. She was out helping my dad tear out the floor and inspect the transom in his boat, and do the fiberglassing and drilling and everything. She loves to get her hands on everything. She drilled a little hole in her bike. She’s got a mudguard on the front of her bike, and she took a drill and drilled a hole so she good hang her little teddy bear keychain on it. Because there was nowhere else to put it, so she was like, ‘I’ll drill a hole in it!’ and it worked out perfectly. That was really cool. She also likes the Opening Picks—she takes them and plays her ukelele with them. She doesn’t fix things with them, but she’s like, ‘Oh it’s a guitar pick!’ and uses it for that.”

Dan Riviore, iFixit Pro 

“My daughter’s only nine months old, so I haven’t done any repairs for her yet. I’m always doing repairs for family and friends, so it feels like I’m preparing to do repairs for my kids in the future. It was an iPhone 7 screen replacement, so while I was doing that, I also replaced the battery at the same time. And it was for a friend who’s fiancé broke her phone screen. And so I got it replaced at a local shop and I guess I was unhappy with the way the replacement screen she has was working. So I got out my Pro Tech, I bought them a replacement screen and replacement battery, and I opened it up. It was a really fun experience because they both kind of sat there and did it with me. I helped them tinker with little parts of it. It was kind of neat to be doing an iPhone 7 because it’s kind of something different, with different cable connections and required different bits that come with the toolkit. I was glad to be able to use that Tri-point screwdriver bit for the first time. It was a cool experience, and I know that I’ll probably be doing iPads and things in the future with my little daughter.”

Are you still looking for ideas for the perfect Father’s Day gift? We get it, it’s hard. Fortunately, we hand-picked a selection of tools for every kind of dad out there—browse our Father’s Day 2018 Gift Guide.

[josephkitchen0]

Springing Along

The days continue to whirr by, and so I have another huge batch of photographs to share. The pictures help me to pause and reflect, to gather some memories of what we have seen, where we have been. We have seen art and flowers, and the fruit of labors. Alex has had his art in two exhibitions, first Gaslight Gathering, then the school gallery. By the way, he doesn't sign his name across his painting... that was my own signature work, trying to give it a protective watermark. The truth is, he's not keen on sharing his art... we don't want his work "borrowed," so I defaced it a bit. Geoff has been doing so much to the workshop, I cannot keep up. His efforts have been Herculean, and the results are terrific. We've reached the point where it's tour worthy, and there have been talks about having one of our Make parties. Maria laments that we have not had as many gatherings, or parties, lately. We seem to have seasons, like crunch-mode, when geoff works all hours at the computer, away from home. Then there was the time he had when it was all hours working to convert the carport into the workshop, which is technically ongoing. And of course, there's been school, chores, the usual errands, and demands. And waiting... I lost my train of thought. Then I remembered something else. I think perhaps, rather than ramble on about "waiting," and the hoops we've leapt through, bridges crossed or burnt, fires put out, I'll just move forward. Move forward, and maybe find a therapist. I could use some counseling, and long, cathartic, emotional purging. Geisel Library~ Fallen Star~ Earl Warren College~ Stuart Collection, Bear~ Dr Seuss~ "Toward a Life in Balance..." Justice Earl Warren Max did it. He got himself into UCSD, again. He was accepted before, and chose UCI, where he did very well. But then there were some glitches with housing, so he made new plans. The details! Oh, the bits and hurdles... but things are working out, and he's being resilient, and as diligent a scholar as ever. So, ahead... it's Warren College, and pure mathematics. There has been so much anticipation and hoping about this school, and now a sense of relief, and gratification, but of all the bells, whistles and perks in Max getting accepted... that game arcade was probably a highlight of the transfer day event! Lol. Free arcade games? Like, totally, no tokens and coins?? I played air-hockey 'til my sides ached from laughing. I love air-hockey. I've heard rumors about another tuition hike coming up, but heck! Free arcade games! I need Earl Warren's philosophy in my life... balance! Jennifer sent me a beautiful card, with a long and thoughtful message inside, and if I'd found it in March, when she sent it, it would have done me a world of good. As it is, I found it in May, and it didn't do me any less good, honestly. The tangible connection to my dear friend, her words, her art, being reminded of our special relationship, was welcome, needed, timely, and better than good. What if, instead looking for a therapist, I just booked a flight to Massachusetts? This day wound up getting nicer, and nicer. First, I discovered misplaced mail, then Ruth arrived with tulips, and irises, and a little tea-pot planted with tiny succulents. She got the first tour! The workshop is nearly complete. Oh-so-nearly! I think she was impressed. Ruth could give me good lessons on balance. She's got a knack for keeping things in order, staying on top of things, and probably would not misplace mail. She brought her list... news, questions, plans, ideas. There's a satisfying sense of accomplishment when we go through her inventory of queries and reminders, and it was nice to get caught up, over a relaxed lunch, and happy visit. Maria and I (finally) made a visit to her grade school. She's been asking for months, Can we see Ms Green? Can we visit my old school? Can we go to the Sage Garden? Well, there are some school chickens that got a bit passed around, and my friend Karen has become their new patron and benefactor. (I have been a crazy chicken lady for a longtime! And pretty much riding solo in my obsession, but Karen is all on-board, now! She has fallen head over feathers for her three charges.) Anyway... Karen had a few questions, and so she invited us, me and Maria, to talk with the Junior Master Gardeners about the hens, their care, and give the hens and the ol'coop a check-up. We had a wonderful visit. Maria (finally) got to visit her teachers, and see familiar faces, spaces, and we had the pleasure of being back in the school garden, with friends. All this reflecting, combined with my slow typing, is taking up a lot of time. I need to get on with this day! We are springing along... with school lessons, and sketching, painting, tending our flowers, digging trenches, filing forms, collecting eggs, and finalizing details for both spring and summer travel. I am happy to reflect on our May days, but I really should get away from this computer, apply myself, and move forward... Springing Along was originally posted by All About Chickens