#okay. i think im going to go warch some markiplier or something while i eat dinner
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I'm kind of in a rabbit hole rn and I just watched a video about that tucker Carlson dude I've heard about and they had some clips of him and
I know that voice
I've heard that voice many times from my dads phone
#i knew my dad has gotten worse since 2016 but. jesus#im shaking a bit ahaaaha..#i literally cannot speak to him anymore because he just brings up politics and 'politics'#i cant watch things witu him becaise he has this 'checklist' he checks off on 'people that must be included in modern movies'#i feel like im goijg to throw up#he knows i cant think and i have seizures when i get stressed but yet when he was yelling at me about how disney ruined obi wan by#by apparently making him bi and i was trying to say things but#yknow. trauma#my brain shuts down when im being yelled at#and he goes 'see this is what the left does yoi have no argumemts' and i dont remmeber the rest because#my brain blocks things out#im scared for christmas i dont want to go there for christmas#i dont want to be like my brother and only use my dad when i need him but hes just so unpleasant to talk to#to be fair. im not asking him for money and i do help him as well#actually my dad is the one who asks me for money.#okay. i think im going to go warch some markiplier or something while i eat dinner#im glad i boyght pizza and ice cream cause jesus christ#a#and now ive started shaking#who the hell am i supposed to talk to about this#my stepmum apparently cant keep her mouth shut and neither can her daughter#im not close with my stepbrothers#my brother is very apathetic towards pretty much anythikg i talk about#i dont want to stress my aunt out she and her fiance have enough to worry about with the baby#granddad? hes. hes losing it. hes forgetting everything. its gwtting hard to jold a conversation with him#and no way in hell am i talking to my mother#ignore me#vent#i guess
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