#okay whatever this sounds really stupid now that im typing it out bye

[marcsburnerphone]

Her man at the restaurant

Part three of ‘the lady at the bar’

(Tangerine x f! Reader )

Warnings: Alcohol, flirting, SMUT (in future chapters), kissing, mentions of insecurity.

Summary: Tangerine was always sharp and dapper, intimidatingly classic man. He never found the time to experience romance of any sorts. Lemon begged him to get out there and if he found the right one and he empathizes the RIGHT one she would love him despite his work field. He found that to be absolute nonsense he believed there’d never be anyone for him till he found you.

——————————-<3

You woke up to the small patter of rain on the windows. You’ve been smiling since that night reminiscing on how good his lips had held yours and how you craved more.

Conversation between the two of you had been casual this past week nothing boring but nothing too crazy.

You were laying in bed for once basking in the duvet thinking of texting tangerine a meek ‘good morning’. And it was as if he had the same idea but the thing about him was he always followed through with his.

Your phone buzzed vibrating in your hands he was calling you not texting calling.

“hello?” You answered just a small bit confused sleep still lacing your voice.

He shivered at the sound of it how feminine it had been is that how your always sound in the morning.

“Good morning gorgeous, have I woken you?” You turned in bed sitting up. The realization hitting that he was really on the phone right now.

“No, no I woke up like twenty-ish minutes ago.” You heard the small laugh on the opposite side of the phone.

“Oh so you’ve been up a while, I was calling to offer you dinner tonight if you’d like that.” You thought you could sense hesitance in his statement how can a man who looks like that be hesitant.

“Yeah I would love that.” He had a very pleased grin painted on his face you’d love that he thought to himself. Lemon in the other hand was on last fucking nerve.

“I’ll be at yours by 7:30 sound good?” You got out of bed doing an excited little wiggle before remembering to answer.

“Okay sounds great I’ll send you my address.” He made a noise on the other side like a shooing maybe of some sort.

He knew your address he had remembered it from the night you’d spoken it to the cab driver but he’d never admit that.

“Sounds lovely.” He was smiling on his side of the phone at your humming of focus as you typed it out to send.

“okay then.” You smiled with a soft laugh.

“All right love well I’ll talk to you in a bit, yeah.” Tangerine hate to cut this call short he truly could listen to you for ages.

“Okay bye tangerine.” His name sounded pleasing on your tongue like how violence usually sounded but innocent.

The phone call ended with a small beep you set it down prancing around your flat humming a little tune happily. In tangerines case he was ready to punch lemon in the fucking throat.

“Why must you be up my fucking arse all the time!” Lemon was smirking from the other side of the counter he had been bugging tangerine the whole phone call.

“What mate im happy for you you’ve got a banging lady to go on a date with you.” Tangerine had to admit he definitely did have a beautiful lady to accompany him tonight.

“Doesn’t matter I was on the phone and your here yapping in my ear as I’m trying to speak to her.” He cooled down a bit from his initial frustration.

“Whatever where are you taking her?” He hadn’t quite thought that part through but he’d never admit that and risk being called stupid.

“None of your business don’t want you showing up and fucking it!” His brother knew he had no clue where he was taking you giving tangerine a glare.

“Well in case you don’t know there’s the new Italian spot downtown very nice and upscale, you know just in case though.” Tangerine rolled his eyes acting like he didn’t need that information.

“Well good thing I have it all planned.” He was going to call that place right when he had the chance to be alone.

—————

He got the reservations with a lot of talking and maybe even more money. Was he insecure? No but was he desperately wanting to Make the right impression yes.

He not only wanted to be good for you he wanted to look good for you he needed to be just right.

You on the other hand were on the brim of tears, frustration flooding your senses not so casually you couldn’t for thee life of you find something to wear without judging yourself critically on every basis tearing you self esteem apart for things that simply made you human.

If only you seen yourself as he sees you, so perfect its mind fucking, so invigorating making tangerine feel so full of life like he was suddenly reborn.

—————

“Mate really your going out with a lady what’s the need for a gun?” Lemon questioned watching his brother get ready, he could admit he cleaned up nicely. Must run in the genes he thought.

“Anything can happen remember diesels exist everywhere.” He spoke nonchalantly even though he cringed at the analogy, subtly locking the gun in its holster behind his back.

He was ready, double checking he had everything he needed. He physically had a check-list written out to make sure. Running over it once more keys yes, wallet yes, gun absoul-.

“So where you taking her?” Lemon jumped in his train of thought like he’d always done but he was somewhat the tiniest bit grateful to be snapped out of his anxiousness.

“None of your fucking business goodbye.” Gratefulness short lived he’d never give lemon the spoken satisfaction of admitting he did indeed need the recommendation and he was very thankful.

Lemon chuckled when the door slammed he knew him well.

—————

He drove swiftly to your flat well on time he thought when really the guy was indeed standing on your doorstep at exactly 7:30 a sturdy 3 knocks landed on your front door as you were sliding on your purse. You ran an anxious hand on your dress and again in your hair before saying a quick ‘coming’.

When you opened the door he could’ve fell to his knees right there and to you preferably you could’ve gotten on your own.

You looked delicate and so fucking incredibly sexy, class laced through your demeanor. His hand ran to yours bringing it swiftly to his lips pressing a limited and modest kiss to your hand.

“Evening beautiful, shall we leave?” He finally let out, he seemed so smooth to you, so effortless but really his heart was racing just as yours.

“Hmm yes we should.” He was so unbelievably proud of the blush that laid on your cheek bones, waiting patiently as you locked your door he intertwined your arm walking slowly down your few temps giving you every ounce of his patience to ensure your comfort.

He opened your door to his midnight black coupe. So telling. He swiftly shut your door making his way to the drivers seat fitting perfectly there; once his car door shut everything was so real, the way his cologne was in every molecule of air made your chest rise and fall a bit faster his expert eyes would never miss something as such.

“Where are we going?” He was so utterly relieved to hear you speak you brought something to his senses that have never been there and he wasn’t sure what to make of it.

“This new Italian spot in downtown, is that good with you darling?” He sent a quick but firm glance your way his question had genuine concern, What if you hated Italian.

His terms of endearment never failed to make you smirk in adoration.

“It’s really hard to get reservation there especially with how new it is.” You had hints of astonishment in your sentence,

Cockiness was the only feeling to explain how he felt in this moment he smiled at his accomplishment he just knew you were impressed.he wanted to tell you how much more he could do, how much more he wanted to do.

Your hands fidgeted with themselves a normal thing you did when anxious, you glanced over to him he looked so focused his jaw clenched and sharp as ever. Your eyes found themselves settled at his hand that rested on the steering wheel with the firm grip he held it with the few rings on his fingers, god everything about him was entrancing.

He cleared his voice snapping you out of it you smiled a bit and he gave you a wink. On the inside tangerine was dying to touch, the way every time you bounced your leg the slit in your black dress rose just a bit drove him mad and the attention you were settling on him very obviously checking him out was doing something to his ego.

He pulled up swiftly to the curb right in front of the restaurant, something he made sure would happen. Once again he was swiftly at your door offering you a hand out which you cheekily accepted wrapping his hand around your rather smaller one.

You double glanced back at his parking how much sexier can this man get that shit couldn’t be more parallel.

He released your hand begrudgingly to slide it to the small of your back like he did not too long ago sending a very clear message to other men, you were very much his.

Your eyelashes batted up to him as you spoke a small ‘thank you’ when he opened the door for you. The restaurant was stunning, it held high ceiling with earthy looking chandeliers and hard wood floors extremely charming.

“Hello reservations for tangerine.” He spoke to the girl behind the stand who was so fucking clearly checking him out and you couldn’t lie the blue suit he wore made your mouth water but none-the less this was very much clearly a date.

“Right this way sir.” It was so seductive it made you feel hot with anger inside, something must’ve been telling of the way you felt cause before he began to follow her he leaned over to whisper in your ear.

“I’m not sure if I told you but you look so fucking beautiful.” He dragged out the last two words he was so close his breath fanned against your neck sending goose bumps all over.

He walked you both to your table pulling out your chair before his settling down your guys’ waiter arrived in no time giving his spiel on tonights special, wine choices and everything fancy. Tangerine ordered a bottle of wine for starters and he left to retrieve it.

“How’s work going you told me you were having trouble with some students last you spoke of it?” You smiled at his memory of something you said randomly.

“Yeah their not going to pass my class I mean I tried so hard to give them extra percentage but it wouldn’t workout and it’d be even more unfair for the students who work so hard.” You looked troubled but passionate when speaking of it he smiled at your care for your class.

“What’s got you so passionate about art?” He was trying his best to subtly rack your brain of everything it’d give him.

You thought a moment before speaking; bitting down softly on your plush color stained lip.

“The expression and emotion you can portray simply by a color palette or design is really intriguing or even the way everyone can portray the same thing but in completely different styles.” Your eyes lit at the topic you loved what you did and for that you were grateful.

“I’d love to see some of your work someday?” He offered in response leaning into the table a bit as your wine glasses were filled. You both ordered meals and your waiter was gone once again.

“Since the work field is on need-to-know tell me something else you do.” You offered taking a sip of your glass humming in satisfaction from the taste, oh how he loved that.

“My work requires a lot of my time but when I don’t have it I’m a free man with financial freedom, and for what I like to do is well work.” He was a bit sad at the admission he hadn’t really ever done anything that he could consider a hobby.

“Well if you can put up with me ill soon fill your free time.” He wanted nothing more.

He was all small smiles and laughs at the things you talked of once you were out of the awkward questions. The food arrived and still conversation flowed between bites and sips. He was so engaged in everything you said; offering questions and hums at your stories of life and childhood. You were so oddly comfortable in his company.

“Sorry if I’m talking to much.” Finally slowing on talking the realization that most of conversation was about yourself which made you feel bad.

“Not enough I’m afraid.” He was quick with his reply, instantly picking up on your posture how you so badly wanted to fold in on yourself.

He reassured his statement by asking you more about your previous story you two sat for awhile longer. He sat back in the chair that looked small compared to him, taking up space on his side of the table. The check was brought to you before you could even ask or offer his Amex card was slid into it and sent back.

“On me gorgeous Thank you for accompanying me.” How was he thanking you, sighing you smiled at him once again you were lost in him the way his gold chain only slightly peeked from the rim of his collar the way his hair was perfectly styled perfect for tugging. Too much wine.

“Keep looking at me like that and I wont be able to contain myself.” He wanted to smash your lips to his passionately show you how much he loved your mouth and all the things his could do without words but he wouldn’t burden you with his disgraceful thoughts just yet.

“From?” You knew from what but you wanted to hear it, you wanted to spur him on.

Just as he was about to deliver you a dirty thought the check with his card arrived leaving him a pen to sign on the receipt he did so but not before sending you a wink. You both left the restaurant and went to the car, you settled in and then were on your way dinner took much longer than he anticipated but he was happy about that cause it never felt like it.

He drove safely though the city back to your home he was all too familiar with these streets usually he’d speed far too fast but not today, not with you.

You arrived to your home but the tension in the car was killing you it was an act now or act never sort of ordeal but what if he didn’t like you anymore what if he hated the way you ate or the dress maybe you talked too much.

“Thank you for dinner-“ he leaned across his seat turning your face towards his own and swiping his lips against yours before pressing them there with so much intention. You leaned into it as much as you could tasting the remnants of wine, his hand fell behind your neck sliding his tounge into your mouth with no effort. Your thighs rubbed together at the notion you dreamed of things like this, watched them on tv but this was so real.

He pulled away before he became animalistic and opened your door then unbuckling your seatbelt on his way back to his own seat.

“That’s what I would’ve done sweetheart, you have a goodnight I hope to see you soon.” He’d make sure he would, you smiled breathless laughing a bit you leaned over your seat for once and pressing a soft kiss to his scruff a small sign of appreciation.

“Goodnight tangerine.” You left the car more than happy, he watched you walk up to your door and slide into your flat usually he would’ve walked with you but he was concerned that if he did he’d leave the impression he wanted more from you, which he did but not just yet he needed to be patient with you.

He adjusted his pants and sped off the sidewalk and back into he busy city to his own flat nestled in the nicest street in London and of course as soon as he opened the fucking door lemon was there just cheekily waiting for him.

“How was it brother?”

—————

Fucking finally am I right.

Please leave comments and anything basically reposts are so appreciated I love you guys <3\

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@penny44224 @sarcastic-sourwolf @marialikescherries @starbucksnapkin @easytheripper-blog

[kisslettrs]

haikyuu characters talking after a fight with their s/o

featuring: lev, kuroo, suna

a/n: first post woo! hope you enjoy this ! ALSO UM. THEY TURNED OUT TO BE SO MUCH LONGER THAN I THOUGHT THEYD BE??? ESPECIALLY KUROOS LMAO THEYRE NEVER THIS LONG I PROMISE DONT GET YOUR HOPES UP OR VICE VERSA. also not beta read soz 💔

warnings: none i don’t think? relationship fights ig. oh and angsty with some gushy shit at the end for each of them 💞

→ HAIBIA LEV

you and lev rarely get into fights. only small complains about his behavior and him whining, or friendly petty arguments. but last night was different... I guess you could say.

lev was always pretty immature and playful yeah, but sometimes it felt like he never took anything seriously. it felt as though he never took him and your relationship seriously. especially now, when you decided to confront him about it.

“why are you laughing...?” you asked, staring at him

“i-i’m sorry, y/n honey, i just...!” he said, covering his mouth as a half assed attempt to keep in his laughter.

“lev, i know it’s just in your nature to act like this but I’m being genuine. i’m not joking, please. you’re doing it again! please just listen—!”

you were cut off again by the sounds of your significant other’s laughter, causing all your frustration to let loose.

“lev haiba!”

he immediately stopped, before looking at you in the eyes, his thin pupils meeting yours.

“i’m sorry. but lev, please can you just take me seriously for once?! i love you, but you need to understand that you can’t just—!” you frailed your hand around, motioning towards him, you, whatever this scene was. “—you can’t just do this all the time I—!”

before you could finish, your mind had been too pent up with frustration. “nevermind...” you grabbed your bag, before rushing out the door, not giving him the chance to talk.

fast forward next day, and you checked your phone.

[32 new messages from favorite dork 💝]

you sigh heavily, before letting the cold feeling of guilt claw at the back of your head. you hadn’t mean to make lev worry, you just needed your time alone. although if you did have to be honest with yourself, leaving without a ‘i love you,’ or hell even just a ‘bye’ was cruel.

as you opened your messages, you were bombarded with messages of pleas and apologizes that were sent at 9:21 PM last night, moments after you left his house. the guilt swallowed your stomach again, your hands slowly typing; “it’s ok hun. really. I love you too.” and pressing send.

you threw your phone onto your bed, before deciding to get ready. you and lev never really saw each other much since you two were in different grades, he was a first year, you were a second. you both had to wait after school, or well... maybe moments after. your phone buzzed a few times, but you decided to ignore it. it was too early.

schools over, and you’re walking home. you were gonna talk to lev today, just not now. you didn’t wanna interrupt his volleyball training just for some stupid relationship issue. as soon as you reach home however, you see a familiar tall figure fidgeting on his phone.

“...lev?” you called out, causing the silver haired boy to whip his head around, his eyes lighting up. “Y/N!”

he quickly shoved his phone inside his pocket, before running up to you and embracing you in a warm hug, shaking you a little. “y/n! y/n! i’m sorry for being stupid last night, I’m sorry, i’m so sorry.” he was squeezing you tight, and god did it hurt hearing his voice break like that.

“lev, sweetie, i told you it’s okay, really.” you spoke, caressing his back. he seemed to stay still for a moment, before speaking once again. “is this okay? me holding you like this, is this okay or do you... need space?”

you smiled softly. it made you happy lev wanted to make sure he wasn’t overstepping any of your boundaries. you felt your other arm hold him. “yeah, this is okay.” you swore you could feel him smile out of relief.

“i’m... i’m sorry again y/n honey, it’s just hard for me, i don’t...” he paused. “it’s just...difficult for me to handle situations like that.” you nuzzled into his shoulder. “it’s okay, you dork. i understand.” you reassured him again.

“but—!” he pushed back, meeting your eyes. “i’m gonna try...i’m gonna try harder. i’m gonna try to be better, for you y/n! i love you so much... i’ll do my best.” god, this dork. no wonder you loved him so much. you cupped his cheeks. “i’ll do better too lev, i won’t be as mean again. i promise, i love you too, so much.”

and with that, both of your faces met, and the two of you kissed lightly.

→ KUROO TETSURO

you and kuroo get into small arguments here and there like every other couple, and whenever you do you two usually recover quickly. you both like to call them ‘squicks.’

however, that night there was no denying that wasn’t any other normal squick you two had. no, that was a fight.

kuroo and you haven’t had a moment alone that wasn’t just you and him walking back home, and it’s been making you upset. so uh, that night you decided to confront him about it.

yeah it didn’t go well uhh

“i know we’re like, a couple y/n. but honey you have to understand i’m busy. you have friends don’t you? go hang out with them or something.”

“yeah, i know kuroo, and trust me i’m happy for you! but you’ve been so distant, we haven’t had a moment alone that lasted more than 5 minutes for like, 2 months! it wasn’t a big deal then, but i miss you and i’m worried.”

you paused, before continuing. “don’t you wanna spend some time with me? just, for like 30 minutes? don’t you miss me?”

“i do, y/n. i miss you and i love you. but like i said i’m busy with volleyball, you aren’t my top priority right now.”

“it’s been 2 months kuroo!” you shouted, causing him to widen his eyes. “don’t you understand? i’m not asking for your top attention, I’m asking for you to give me 25% of it at least!”

it was quiet for a moment. “sorry.” was all he said, before turning around his eyes focused on the volleyball between his feet.

you felt hurt and frustrated. “you know what? fine.” he immediately went back to look at you, seeing you grab your bag. “see you whenever you feel like to acknowledge my existence, I guess. bye.”

as soon as you touched the doorknob, you could hear him get up and say the words ‘wait, baby wait—‘ but you had enough. you needed to air out your head of the tension and frustration of the house and you left. you felt tears peak at the corner of your eyes as soon as you did.

next day, and you’ve been feeling shittier than usual. as soon as you woke up, you turned to make you lay on your back, staring at your ceiling and thinking; “was i too harsh? am i being too selfish? too clingy?”

you loved what your boyfriend did and you were perfectly fine with him having his time to himself. you knew you weren’t his top priority and he wasn’t yours. but 2 months with little to no communication felt too long. was it wrong to want to spend at least 30 minutes with your boyfriend? was that too much to ask for?

the anxiety raced to your head again. what if you were being too clingy. maybe kuroo had the right to be upset too. you were being too selfish, stop thinking of yourself so often. you curled up into your side. you didn’t want to think about it, and you didn’t want to see him in the halls either. you didn’t even wanna check your phone to see if you messaged you.

you decided to skip, staying home, watching TV and playing some games. you couldn’t mentally handle seeing him. at least not for right now.

some time passes by, and your phone is buzzing. you checked the time from the small clock on your wall, seeing the handles pointing towards 4:30 PM. oh wow, after school clubs should be over too.

you grabbed your phone to see who it’s by, knowing deep down it was who you thought it was.

[23 new messages by Hubby 😾💗]

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something...]

[2 missed calls by Hubby 😾💗]

choosing to ignore kuroo for now, you swiped at Kenma’s notification and read the full message.

[Kyanma: uhh hey y/n? did something happen with kuroo that youre aware of??? he seemed so much more down than usual during practice.

you: no. we rarely talk anymore because of practice lol I guess.

Kyanma: ???

Kyanma: Did something happen between YOU two?

you: we had a fight. im not really in the mood to talk to him. I skipped school. itll be back to normal in a few more days, sorry for the inconvenience snchsychsj

Kyanma: you two should resolve that. like seriously. hope u two feel better tho, bye✌️

you: we will hopefully lol bye kenma !!]

sighing, you placed your phone down on the small coffee table infront of you, but as soon did, you heard a knock coming from your front door. humming in response, you got up and made your way towards the front door, but decided to look through the peephole to make sure it wasn’t some scammer person or creep.

well, it was neither of those two but it was in fact no one else other than kuroo tetsuro. you sighed heavily again, before unlocking the door and turning the knob opening up to your boyfriend.

“hey y/n.”

“hi kuroo.”

you folded your arms, deciding to put up a strong facade, pretending you weren’t mentally screaming and that anxiety wasn’t clawing at your back. “did you forget something or...?”

kuroo brought his hand to the back of neck, awkwardly scratching it. “yeah uh...” he looked around, not wanting to make eye contact. “um. listen y/n.” he made his way to grab your hands, holding them together. “i’m sorry. i really am.”

“please don’t touch me. not right now at least...” even though you seemed so desperate for his touch the other night, you really did need your space. kuroo seemed alarmed at first, quickly swiping his hands back, wanting to respect your space. “of course baby! i’m sorry for acting too soon.”

you watched him scramble around a bit, finding it a bit cute. “can I come inside?” he asked. you nodded, and both of you went inside and sat to your coach.

“like I said y/n. i know ive been distant, and ive missed you so much. god, do I miss you. i wanna hug you and cuddle you so bad but volleyball and the nationals have been bugging me i couldn’t have find the proper time. i’m just scared... and I...”

“kuroo.” you said. his head snatched upwards, looking at you. you were gonna say something as soon as he did but the look he gave you caught you off guard. he looked like a cat pleading.

as soon as you pushed away the thoughts of him being stupidly adorable, you continued your sentence. “I understand, and i’m sorry for being too clingy. i just miss you a lot. i’m willing to wait for you, baby.” as soon as you said that, you saw his eyes pierce through your soul. fuck did I say something wrong.

before you could say anything else, it was kuroo’s turn to speak. “no baby. it’s alright, you aren’t the one at fault here it was me. i’m sorry for not listening to you that night. i’m gonna be a better boyfriend, i’m gonna be the boyfriend you deserve through and through.”

fucking idiot, i’m the one who was supposed to say sorry, not you! You didn’t say anything for a moment, before laughing lightly. “babe? i love you but i have to be the one who takes at least, 50% of the fault. it’s okay, i love you and i forgive you. and i’m happy for what you’re doing and how far you’ve come.” you placed your hand on his. “you can touch me now.”

his eyes immediately lit up, his lips curving into a smile and you swore you could see tears start forming in his eyes before he launched himself onto you. “my god y/n, how did i get so lucky. i love you so much, i love you so much.” he hugged you tight. you laughed. “i love you too kuroo. so much, i love you so much. i’m the lucky one.”

he pulled away and brought you to a kiss. before you could respond, he asked, “are you free saturday?”

→ SUNA RINTARO

while suna and you disagreed on a lot of things from time to time, you two usually both came to a mutual agreement and it wasn’t anything big.

but lately he seemed even more off than usual. communication was such a huge thing between both of you, but he seemed to just not be...cooperating?

suna is someone who doesn’t like expressing his emotions. and as his significant other, you felt like understanding him was a priority. but you just didn’t sometimes and it made you worry. him being distant did not help.

one day when you decided to bring it up, the situation got a bit... out of hand

“what?” he asked.

you shrugged your shoulders. “i don’t know. suna i care for you, and you just never helping me understand makes me extremely upset! i know it’s hard for you, but...”

you could feel him roll his eyes. “i don’t know what you’re going on about y/n,” he looked at you. “but really, i’m fine. do you not trust me to talk to you or something?”

“no..!” you denied. “listen. youve been getting more and more tired each day and i could tell. you’ve been ghosting me too.”

“...what?” he basically hissed it. “i’m not an asshole y/n. nothing is wrong. why do you keep trying to butt your head into my life every second?” his voice began to raise.

this was rare. even when he did raise his voice at you, it was never filled with negative intent but this time...

“i can take care of myself, y/n. i don’t need you and your noisy nose in my business all the time. sorry if you feel like you’re on baby sitting duty, but you really don’t need to be so clingy and emotional all the time...”

well damn. his words hurt. a lot.

“sorry for caring for you then, damn...” you grumble under your breath. you quickly grabbed your house keys and bags. he perked his head up. “y/n? where are you going?”

you didn’t reply. “y/n!” you rolled your eyes, trying to ignore the pain in your chest and stomach, before opening the door and leaving.

as soon as you woke up, your head hurt more than usual. those words must’ve hit you deeper than they should’ve, huh?

maybe i was just being too clingy, you thought, and those thoughts hadn’t left your mind the whole morning. whatever, you’ll just apologize after school.

you haven’t seen suna at all that day, not on the walk to school, not in the halls, not in his classroom. he was... nowhere. when you went to the volleyball club after school, asking if any of the members had seen him all of them replied with a simple ‘no.’

kita specically had been giving you long glances ever since you arrived. once you finally reached him, instead of denying seeing your boyfriend, he told you, “he wasn’t in school at all i assume. maybe he’s at home.”

home? why would he be home? maybe he was feeling sick...

you bowed and thanked him and the rest of the teammates before leaving. on your way home, you decided to stop by a connivence store and buy him his favorite snack, chuupet. or well, just jelly fruit snacks. you bought 2 packs for you and him, hoping it was a good time to apologize.

you walked up to his house, knocked lightly on the door and was greeted by his mother. “ah~ greetings y/n!” you smiled lightly and gave her a wave. “good afternoon! say, is rintaro home?” you asked. she nodded, moving to the side as a way to invite you in the house. “he should be in his room!”

“thank you!” you bowed quickly before making your way up the stairs. as soon as you passed by his sisters room, there you were infront of his. with your free hand, you lightly held a fist and began knocking on his door.

“suna? rintaro?” you called out. you would call him by a sweet pet name but remembering last night, you didn’t wanna break any boundaries. the room was quiet, and though you really didn’t wanna disturb him, you wanted to make sure he was okay. as soon as you did, however, you were greeted by a sight that broke your heart.

suna rintaro, the boy you loved so much, had his hair messier than usual, his eyes seemed red from crying and he was up against his bed frame, his phone in his hand. when he looked up, he saw you, his eyes widening.

“...y-y/n?” you stood there frozen. “rintaro...honey my god,” you quickly went up to him. “what happened?” you looked at him, his gaze looking down. you wanted to hug him so bad, but yet again, that argument you had last night prevented you from anything.

“hey. listen, sweetie. i got your favorite.” you held up the 2 bags of jelly fruit gummies. “it’s gonna be okay, okay? i’m here.” he was just looking at you, not saying anything, before muttering something under his breath.

“huh? what was that? i didn’t hear you hon, what’s up?” you asked, making sure to keep your distance. suna choked back a sob, before launching himself onto you, almost knocking you into the ground. “w-woah there!”

“y/n... i’m sorry i’m so sorry. i’ve been so frustrated with school... exams... volleyball and i’ve missed you so much but i was so tired that night! i lashed out on you but i didn’t mean any of it. i promise, i promise, don’t leave me please.” he sobbed quietly, his head resting against your forehead. when you looked up, you could see him squeezing his eyes shut.

wow, this was even more rare.

you brought your arms to his neck, embracing him. “it’s okay rintaro. shh, it’s gonna be okay. i love you and i’m sorry for being upset, i just worry about you.” you rubbed his back lightly as he continued sobbing, allowing you to give him a few kisses on the cheek, neck and forehead. “you’re safe, you’re gonna be okay honey. i love you so much.” you repeated.

suna never showed his emotions much, but he seemed to have a lot of pent up anger, sadness and confusion up in him, and he let it out for an hour infront of you, there to comfort him.

as soon as he stopped, you and him were snuggling on his bed watching whatever was on his TV, eating the fruit snacks. he leaned onto your head. “i love you...please, don’t leave me. i’m sorry.”

you bumped your head back onto him. “stop apologizing. i keep telling you it’s okay.” you giggled lightly. “please sweetie, talk to me so this doesn’t happen again.” he only nodded silently, before drifting to sleep in your embrace.

[gignikinszz]

anakin is on the train and this dipshit infront of him has been humming christmas songs everyday on his morning work commute for the past week and it’s the middle of fucking august so he’s ready to confront this motherfucker for his crimes against humanity and his eardrums then boom obi wan meet cute

anon. im obsessed 💍💍💍💍 ficlet under the cut xx

i took a few liberties with this, but i hope u still like it :)) modern au, annoyances to lovers but only from anakin's pov, 1.3k. mentions of christmas music and horrible hours of the morning beware

It was 5:15. Five-fifteen in the goddamn morning. It was six in the goddamn morning, and it was the middle of August. The seventeenth of August, to be exact.

The third week, to the day, of Anakin’s personal hell.

Some context: Anakin was on the train, just trying to get to his job at a local bakery, still trying to wake up. He’d been late that morning and hadn’t had time for coffee, and was therefore grumpy. Grumpier than usual. So fucking grumpy.

And that same motherfucker from the past three weeks was singing. Again.

Now, Anakin wasn’t a cold-hearted monster, okay? He wasn’t against singing, not at all. Not even at 5:15 in the goddamn morning on a Thursday. Not even on the train. No, what he was against, morally and spiritually and on all levels (including physical), was the fact that the stranger was singing Christmas music. In August.

Today, it was Jingle Bells, though really, the song should’ve been named Jingle Hell. Overly jaunty, reminiscent of fifth-grade showcases, jarring and horrid, even when sung with a voice as nice as Christmas Music Man’s. A disgusting display of Christmas cheer, absolutely murdering Anakin’s poor eardrums, making him wish for the fiftieth time in the past twenty-one days that his stupid dog and stupider cat hadn’t totally destroyed his earbuds fighting over them, and that he wasn’t too busy (lazy) to go get new ones.

God, he was going to lose it. If he heard one more annoying-ass sing, he was going to—

… you gave it away. This year, to save me from tears, I’ll give it to someone special…

Last Christmas. The stranger, who always, for some sick and twisted reason, sat directly behind Anakin, was singing Last Christmas.

“Yo, dipshit, can you, like shut the fu—ck.” Anakin choked as he finally got a glimpse of the stranger. “Not up. Um. You can keep singing. Bye.”

Oh, shit.

Oh, shit. He was hot. Oh, fuck. Oh, god. He was so fucking hot and Anakin had just called him a dipshit. And spazzed out. And, worse, told him he could keep singing his awful Christmas music. He’d told the most attractive asshole motherfucker he’d ever seen that he could keep singing Last Christmas. At 5:15 in the goddamn morning. In the middle of August.

Oh, fucking shit.

Anakin spent the rest of that (thankfully not-very-long, after his outburst) train ride in silence, rethinking his life, wondering how someone so hot could be committing such heinous crimes against humanity. It didn’t make sense, at first. The man had looked nice. Or just hot. Anakin didn’t know. He’d been wearing a sweater vest with nothing underneath, showing off his very muscular arms, and he’d had very soft-looking hair. How could someone who dressed like a slutty 80-year-old have such poor taste in music? Have such little respect for Anakin, and Anakin’s eardrums, and the world at large?

It didn’t make sense, but when Anakin talked to Ahsoka, who was opening with him that day, she told him it did.

“You know,” she said, “if he’s really that hot, there’s gotta be something wrong with him. So the universe is fair and shit.”

And Anakin had to agree. There truly was something wrong with the man. Deeply, deeply wrong. Disturbed, even. Not that it made it fair that Anakin still had to suffer every morning. Or that his eardrums felt like they might die.

The next morning, he resolved to put a stop to it, good looks aside. For the sake of both his sanity, and for the world. Well, the world of the train at 5:15 in the morning. It was important to him, okay?

So he steeled himself the next morning. Got up early so he could get coffee and fix his hair, because presentation was important in these sorts of confrontations. Not for any other reason. Anakin also wore his nice work shirt, the one without too many stains, for the impending argument, of course. He would’ve looked his best while telling any asshole to stop fucking singing Christmas songs on the train at ass-o’clock every morning, whether or not they were hot.

Okay, maybe it had something to do with the fact that the guy was hot. Whatever. Sue Anakin for wanting to make a better second impression.

When he got to the train, he felt all wound-up, just waiting for the inevitable. For Holly Jolly Christmas or All I Want for Christmas is You or Chestnuts Roasting on the Open Fire of Anakin’s Burning Hatred for Christmas Songs. Or whatever that last one was called. His knee was bouncing, fingers tapping, heart pounding in anticipation. For the inevitable confrontation, of course.

It began five minutes after Anakin sat down. 5:18 in the morning.

Fucking Spooky Scary Skeletons.

An insult to Anakin’s pride, to his honor, to his family, to the month of August, to Halloween, and to the world at large, that’s what the man behind him was singing. An insult of the highest order, and Anakin had only had one cup of coffee.

So he did something wild, something insane, something totally out of character for him.

He waited.

He waited until the train made its next stop, the one before his, and he moved quickly to sit across the aisle from the man.

“Hey,” he said before he could chicken out. “What the fuck is your problem?”

Hot Asshole turned to look at him slowly. “What do you mean?” He asked, all posh and British and refined, and wow, Anakin was beginning to understand the appeal of those love-hate, enemies-to-lovers, 100k slow burn type relationships. That was hot. Despite, or perhaps even more so because of, the man’s infuriating little eyebrow thing, it was really hot.

“Your stupid music,” Anakin heard himself saying, refusing to back down despite the sight in front of him. “Sir, are you aware that it’s August?”

The man smiled. Pretty, Anakin’s mind supplied. Shut up, he snapped back.

“What does that have to do with anything?” he asked, folding his hands over one knee, crossing it over the other.

Anakin blinked, slowly, trying to let his brain catch up. “Well, you’re. It’s. That’s a Halloween song,” he said, feeling dumber by the second.

“And?” The man was still smiling, all innocent, and Anakin was suddenly unsure if it was nerves or annoyance making his face flush.

“And, um—well—whoever you are, you’re singing Halloween music. It’s August.”

“I’m Obi-Wan,” the man said unhelpfully. “And I don’t see what the issue is. Spooky Scary Skeletons is about bones. The human body. Personally, I think bodies are relevant year-round, don’t you?”

No, it was definitely annoyance.

“That’s about spooky, scary skeletons. It’s a fucking Halloween song. And even if it was applicable, it doesn’t change the fact that you’ve been singing fucking Christmas music every day for the past three weeks.” Anakin gave the man his best glare, but it didn’t seem to phase him. On the contrary, he just smiled a little brighter.

“It’s just what’s been stuck in my head,” he said, sounding innocent. “I don’t know what you want me to do about it.”

“I—just—I—I want you to go out with me!” Okay, so Anakin didn’t mean to say that. In the slightest. And Obi-Wan was looking at him weirdly, and also, that wasn’t even a good solution to what Obi-Wan was asking, so Anakin opened his mouth to backtrack, but before he could—

“Okay.” Obi-Wan shrugged, smiling slightly. Anakin’s heart did a funny little somersault. “Is this your stop?”

And shit—it was, and Anakin hadn’t even gotten past the initial asking. No time to ask for horrible, hot, annoyingly heart-pounding Christmas Asshole’s number.

But that was fine. After all, Anakin was probably going to have to tell him to sing an appropriate song the next day, as well.

[willddheartt]

30 Days | Wilbur Soot

30 days to fall in love with someone? Sounds easy right?

It would be if that person wasn’t so unbelievably annoying in almost every sense. 

You’re not sure how you found yourself in this situation, but you were positive there was no backing out now…

Series Warnings: Mostly fluff and angst, and a very poorly constructed enemies to lovers plot. 

Word Count: 1892

Masterlist Series Masterlist 30 Days The beginning

You sighed, staring at the black screen of your PC waiting for it to light up. After last night, you didn’t even want to log on, but you knew if you avoided it now, it would just cause more hassle in the long run.

The monitors light up with your bright coloured backgrounds and the PC itself emitted many colours of the rainbow.  Opening Discord, you started a message with Wilbur.

Did you hear? You type, clicking through a few channels as you awaited his response. 

Yeah, how’d this come about? his message read 

Your head shook as you typed and you ran a hand through your hair, pushing it back and out of your face, I don’t know. Hop in a VC and we can discuss better? 

You pulled on your headset, waiting for the call to come through, what you weren’t expecting was for Wilbur to video call you. You had just got out of bed before logging on and didn’t even have any makeup on and you were still in your cropped top and sleep bottoms. Quickly pulling the fuzzy blanket you kept on the back of your chair around your shoulders you answered the call. 

“Hey,” You answered with a sigh, setting your head in your hand.  ���Hi,” He said, monotone.  “What’s he got on you?” You asked  “My home address and credit card information, stuff like that. And you?”  You sighed, knowing if you told the truth he might think even lower of you than he already did. “Same thing and like some stupid stuff I did in high school,”  Wilburs expression changed from annoyed to something you couldn’t read, “What did you do?”  “Relax,” You sighed, “It’s nothing like terrible, terrible.” “Do you not want to tell me?” He sat back in his chair  “I’d rather not,” You mumbled, “I don’t need you thinking lower of me than you already do.”  “Fine,” Wilbur sighed, “Do you want to talk about how we’re going to do this or not?” You nodded 

“What do you think the best approach would be?” You asked, sitting up and pulling your leg up.  “Well obviously, I think we should outline what the rules are.”  “Okay,” You nodded pulling up a note, “So we’re supposed to be dating right?” You asked, Wilbur, nodded. “So we should act like a couple,” You said as you typed out  “What about how we act on and off camera?” Wil asked  “What about it?” You asked, “On camera, we act so madly in love the fans won’t even question it, off-camera we can not speak or whatever we do now.”  Wil shook his head, “I think to get the best performance we’d have to truly play into this and act on and off camera.”  You threw your head back, “Really?” You asked  “Do you truly hate me that much, Y/N?” 

“Well no, it’s just I’d rather not.”  “Too bad, it’s already written.”  You sighed, “Fine.”  “Do you think we should tell our friends about the whole situation or just leave it as we’re a couple?” You asked  “Leave them out of the blackmail part, they could slip up.” You nod agreeing. 

After twenty minutes of back and forth, you devised a list of rules doe the month. 

They were as follows:

Must act like a couple on and off camera 

Must act like a couple at all times 

Every week doing things that couples would do (i.e. dates, movie nights, going out to dinner) 

Must post announcing you’re together, on Twitter Instagram or in a stream. 

Can only tell friends about you being together 

And you must see each other regularly. 

If either of you failed to do one of these things you immediately owe the other person $50

Wilbur was still on call with you after the list was created, you ended up talking about how you think the blackmailer got your information. Both of you were in the dark. 

Your roommate came in, interrupting your conversation, “Hey, Y/N, Wanna come with me to pick up food?” She asked stopping dead in her tracks when she saw Wilbur on your monitor.  You nodded, “Just give me a second here,” She waved as she exited the room.  “Sorry about that, Wil,” You said turning back to the camera. “Seems I’ve got to go, but we can talk more about this when I get back if you’d like.”  Wilbur nodded, “It was nice talking to you, love.” 

The pet name caught you off guard, you looked at Wilbur, who had the most shit-eating grin on his face you’d ever seen. “What?” He asked, tilting his head, “We have to start somewhere, thought now would be a good time.”  You sighed, “ill talk to you later Wilbur.” 

You ended the call and let your head fall into your hands. 

Man, this was going to be a long month. 

“Sorry about earlier.” Your roommate said once you walked out of your room  You shook your head, “Don’t worry about it, it was only Wilbur,”  “Wilbur?” She asked, “Don’t you, like, hate him?” “Hate is a strong word,” You sighed. “I think I’ve had a change of heart about him.” 

-

You got home to messages from Wilbur asking if you wanted to stream with him tonight to make your announcement, you grabbed a drink and something to eat and got ready to stream. This time you were able to get ready to be on camera. You did your makeup, simple winged eyeliner nothing too extravagant, and you put on a cute top, but kept on your pyjama bottoms. 

Are you setting up stream? You messaged Wilbur 

Yeah, are you ready? He replied within seconds

Ready as I’ll ever be. 

This time you called Wilbur, he picked up within seconds.  “I know this is only fake but im nervous,” You blurted out.  Wilbur nodded, “Me too,”  “How do you think the fans will react?” You asked  “Honestly?” You nodded, “I think the overall reaction will be good.”  “What about the ones that aren’t?” You were picking at your fingers, a nervous habit, “I don’t want to get death threats and that kind of thing,” You frowned.  “I’ll take care of it,” Wil said, his words brought you a sense of peace, and you waited for him to start streaming. 

As he welcomed everyone to the stream, you weren’t on screen yet. You had a few moments to take in his appearance. He was wearing a nice white button-down, and it looked like he tried to do something with his hard but failed and just let it slump in its natural half curly-half wavy state on his forehead. You smiled at him as he kept trying to shake the hair out of his eyes but it refused to move. 

“Well, chat,” He started, “There is someone very important to me that I’d like to introduce you to.” As he spoke you could feel the knots in your stomach, nervous for him to finally show your face cam on stream. “Now, you probably already know them but,” He paused, working things out to be able to show your cam on stream, “Y/N and I would like to tell you something,” He said, and your face popped up on his stream, you waved to the chat.  “Y/N, would you like to do the honours?” He asked with a smirk “I guess so,” You put on the biggest smile you could muster before it looked fake and forced, “Chat,” You said. “Wil and I are dating!” You announced and he cheered.  The chat exploded with hearts and Pogs, of course, there were the normal hate comments, but those were almost drowned out by all the emotes. 

“Okay now, I don’t want to see anybody hating on Y/N, Okay?” Wilbur said in a stern voice, looking directly at the camera, “Mods if you can, keep it out of the chat. And chat, keep it off the social media, Okay?” He waited for responses in the chat to roll through before continuing, “If you haven't got anything nice to say, let’s not say it alright?”  You nodded along with him, secretly admiring how adamant he was about keeping the hate away, you knew Wilbur was the type of gut to do that but you didn't think he'd do it for you, especially where the two of you weren't even truly together.

“Okay, so Y/N and I here, didn’t really talk about what we were going to do on here, we just wanted to announce the news, but I guess we’ll stick around and answer a few questions for about an hour, hows that sound?”  You nodded, “That sounds good to me. Chat if you have any questions to ask us, about our relationship or just personally send them in the chat or whatever you’d like to do. 

You and Wilbur sat on stream for close to an hour talking to the chat and receiving many donations asking questions and answering the chat, they seemed to love that the two of you were ‘together’. You read a few things saying “Enemies to lovers? POG” in the chat that made you laugh to yourself, telling Wil you’d tell him later when he asked what was so funny. 

Truthfully, you didn’t hate Wilbur as much as you’ve convinced yourself you have. Sometimes the acting and just messing around on the SMP got blurry in your mind, a lot of the things you found revolting about him were things his character had done for the sake of plot development. 

Wilbur finally ended the stream, you both said bye to chat and he went off.  “That went well, don't you think?” He asked, sighing as soon as the stream was over. “I think it was good, their reaction seemed to be positive.” You sat back in your chair.  “What did you find so funny in the chat?” He asked, throwing an arm behind his head as he leaned back in his chair. You giggled as you thought about it again, “I saw some people saying ‘enemies to lovers? Pog’ in the chat and I thought it was really funny.” “I mean, they're technically not wrong.” You rolled your eyes, looking down at the time in the corner of your monitor. 

It was late. Almost three am. 

“Hey, I’ll talk to you tomorrow Wil, alright? I should go to bed soon.”  Wil nodded, “Talk to you tomorrow, Y/N, sleep well.” He smiled as he hit the end call button. 

You sat in your dimly lit room in complete silence, other than the noise of the fans in your PC. You couldn’t believe you had to do this for a month. You truly wondered how you could do this, it was only day one and you wanted to crawl out of your skin and wash off the feeling that he gave you. In your act you could see how you might be able to fall for him, but once the call ended and you were snapped back to reality, you wished to take the hottest and longest shower in the word and wash the feeling of him away, watch the dirt slide down the drain and out of your mind. 

“You can do this. It's only a month,” You whispered to yourself.

[tigerdrop]

dogboy gordon rutting against benreys leg in the same way that benrey did it in the reverse. benrey encouraging him and also making fun of him in the same breath. yummy brain thoughts. i am rotating this

jesus christ i started thinking about dogboy gordon and have not stopped thinking. theres 7k words of dogboy stuff under here im going insane

how in the. help. Help. dog boy. how does he become dogboy. i cant keep giving these idiots potions but i guess thats what ive been reduced to

gman turns him into a dog boy. walks thru a portal and comes out in nintendogs but hes the dog and when he comes back out again hes still a little bit dogy. this is fucking stupid

THE TAIL WAGGING im going to pass away

> i think he would have such fucking issues with the fact that his tail and ears are expressing his emotions so much

trying to act angry towards benrey but hes given away by his tail wagging like crazy......and he never even knows its happening until somebody points it out

it would be cool if. um. he got a little more into roughhousing and rough play afterward. you know. like a . hes already really handsy......physical. . .. .

> okay like the anger turning into somewhat-serious jostling and pushing which turns into roughhousing

its not even horny at first it just gives him the weirdest fucking endorphins. like. its fucking fun man

> and by the time theyre roughhousing his tail is wagging furiously and like thumping on the floor when he gets pinned haha

> YES its about the exhilaration ......he gets this rush from flipping benrey over after he's pinning him, baring his teeth triumphantly

benrey pinning him by his wrists and half-laughing at him like "what the fuck is wrong with you??" and the rest of the science team chimes in like YEAH WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS WHAT WAS THAT

> gordon comes back to himself and turns red immediately and splutters like "i dont know! what - im just - benrey started it!” so like he refuses to do it again but then benrey pushes his buttons and he gets in his face, ears pinned back a bit and shoves him and benreys like oh...so its this again huh...

GOD......PUSHING HIS BUTTONS.......its sooo much fun now that gordons so physically reactive too

> what if he manages to get an honest to god growl out of gordon at one point and it makes something ugly twist in benrey's gut and he wants to make it happen again

and its probably really gratifying for him to see just how often gordons tail wags when gordon looks at him or snorts at one of his jokes

TWO SIDES

> the duality of their relationship....gordons tail wagging just a bit when hes looking at benrey though im

> im thinking about the growling though like...benrey gets fixated on how he fucking sounds, all deep and rumbly and this intensity just focused on benrey only....makes him think about how that would look in other contexts....

> benrey riling him up while their roughousing so he can feel that growl travel through his chest and like...getting gordon to that point makes him SO determined to win the "fight" over benrey hes almost a bit out of his mind with it......pins benrey and subconsciously ruts against him a bit as a sign of dominance....please stop me now goodbye....

NO LITERALLY THATS WHAT I WAS THINKING ABOUT THE MOMENT I STARTED TYPING

prodding gordon further and further and riling him up until gordon pins him to the floor, hard, an arm jammed behind his back and his HEV suit jammed up against benreys ass and rutting subconsciously as gordon. h. gordon. clamps down on the back of his neck and growls

benrey sucks in a rattling gasp and is like "what? ow" in a weirdly shocked yet distanced way

he cant feel where gordons hard b/c of the HEV suit but he can feel the metal awkwardly bumping against his ass Like That. and inwardly benreys on a loop of "what the fuck what the fuck" but not in a bad way in the slightest. just utterly cannot believe this is whats happening, right now, gordon freeman dry humping his ass behind a bunch of crates, not 100 feet from the rest of the science team

> gordon snapping out of it and being like...what the fuck am i doing... or....maybe the gasp makes gordon bite down harder in response...not sure

> gordon not even realizing hes doing it until that moment is so great....i dont know but....maybe he lets go and pushes off benrey, panting and wild eyed, and the image of benrey on his stomach, his bite mark in his neck, is burned into his brain

> he just doesnt say fucking anything and just dips to get jacked off by the suit maybe.... cant stop thinking about how it felt to see benrey with his teeth marks....hates himself for feeling that sick satisfaction in his chest

benrey......touching the back of his neck afterwrds, kind of dream-like, both consciously and subconsciously.......

i like making gordon freeman suffer so i want him to just angrily try to rut against his arm in private later trying desperately to get off thru this stupid busted HEV suit that he cant get out of. pathetic. gordon freeman humping his own fucking arm in a bathroom stall. like a dog

and he thinks about how benrey smelled when he had his teeth clamped on the back of benreys neck, his nose buried right against benreys jaw and neck, smelling the sweat and the hormones and feeling benreys rapid heartbeat, and his whole fucking head throbs with how bad he wants to get off

> and he just cant get off....has to deal with going back the team tense and a bit sweaty and just move on when they ask what happened. benrey doesnt say anything just stares at him and gordon cant meet his eyes. gordon tries not to fucking let benrey get under his skin cause i think hes probably mad upset and embarassed that he reverted to his like,,,more base instincts because of BENREY of all people.....

> but he still thinks about it sometimes and....he tries to distance himself from him but hes still a pretty touchy guy and he find himself around benrey still....laughing at his jokes and getting in his space once in a while. always pulls himself away when he notices but not before he takes in a deep breath of benrey's scent...

> meanwhile benreys trying to think of how to make gordon do that shit again LOL

ohmy god. oh my god.....before this.....before he tries to stop getting in benreys business and before he even recognizes what hes doing.......he like.....hes so touchy feely that he subconsciously tries to mark benrey a lot. like just doing everything in his power to rub the inside of his wrists somewhere on him. even if its barely gonna do anything b/c of the suit. its just instinct

> NOW HE ...now he realizes that he was doing that the whole time..jesus,...

> AUGH....in the buildup before this he didnt realize that he was doing it........but now he realizes he fucking misses doing that shit and kind of berates himself for doing it in the first place....like what the fuck....be Normal gordon...you cant want to fuck him....do you..?

i want him to. grrgohg i dont even know how or why this would happen but i want gordon freeman to lie supine on the ground with his hands up like paws like hes a big pupy looking for tummy rubs OKAY! BYE. I HAVE TO GO. im going to fucking sob why am i like this why is this the cutest possible thing for a man to do. i cant even think of a fucking reason why he would do this so im so fucking embarrassed

i want to fucking. i want to rub his fucking tumy and make him pop a boner from it im literally so sick of this earth

> i was literally Just typing: i just think it would be cool . To pet his tummy and keep telling him "good boy" in a Certain kind of Tone that just totally fucks him up about it . maybe flushed and tongue starting to wanna hang out of his mouth as he goes from laying flat on his back to kinda twisted to one side, breathing heavy, tail thumping hard against the floor cause hes a big dog so that thing is like a lethal weapon

> petting the fuzzy lower belly while hes already hard & needy just to make him whine Very high pitched and desperate-sounding bc its so close to what he wants but that just makes it worse 8)

> What if. Benrey pinning Gordon, maybe scritches behind his ear, as a "joke", he's a dog haha good boy wants ear scritches?? And Gordon immediately squirming and whining. Maybe even kicking his leg just a little bit

> i think it would be cool for a post-black mesa puby gordon pinned benrey to the floor with his whole body weight and humped the life out of benrey's leg while panting and drooling in benrey's ear. a total lack of regard for benrey, (of course he's into it tho) just using him like an object that's conveniently there for him to furiously get off on

> i'm thinking.... this happening after a period of prolonged teasing, like you said. rubbing his tummy and ignoring his dick

> Man ok combined with the suit edging huh? I love that, but i also kinda want gordon to sneak off to get off and discover his uh. k. kn. knot

> he sneaks off and if in this situation he can.  idk. get at his dick in a bathroom or whatever. and well, he gets caught up so easily in his 'head empty' instincts mode that when he cums he's kneading that thang for like 2 minutes before he even becomes cognizant enough to notice. and then immediately panic. so idk maybe he cant get at himself for a while, right, so he didnt notice this

> i just think gordon being in the suit would not let him get at his dick and he would only be able to get off in really convoluted ways so like...he wouldnt fucking Know he had a knot he would just feel a weird pressure at the base that he doesnt know what its about. but he starts getting these fantasies of holding benrey down and staying in him when he comes and he doesnt know where the hell thats coming from.....yet. until after everything is over and he can get out of it, and the first time he jacks off again he realizes HOLY FUCK? like what the hell....but it makes sense in retrospect where those fantasies came from. but hes just super embarassed about those fantasies and pushes them down until benrey comes back into his life and activates him again

> in addition to embarassment i think he has a lot of complicated feelings about benrey and definitely feels a guilty about wanting to fuck him into the ground and fill him with cum....but GOD if benrey doesnt get to him just as much as he did in black mesa

> i think that something like this would be so unplanned and shit but like......theyve probably hung out a few times before this or more like maybe benrey has dropped into his house just to annoy him and gordon finds his ears pricking when he hears heavy footsteps around his house cause he recognizes them as benrey's...

> little rush of exhilaration maybe. cause it means they'll spend some time together and he has just all these emotions under his skin when they do. i dont know how this would happen but maybe gordon forgets to keep himself in check when benrey makes him laugh so hard he's snorting and his tail is wagging furiously.benrey tries to touch/catch his tail cause he's kinda curious about it and it never got to mess with it in black mesa. but it turns into roughhousing as gordon shoves him away a little bit but benrey keeps trying to get at it and then get at his ears

> "cmon man just let me touch them whats the big deal-" "NO!" but like hes still laughing a bit until they start really getting into it and he gets breathless and a little irritated at having to roll around and try to pin benrey's hands to the floor

hell on earth......the way his tails wagging and hes grinning and drooling a little once he gets benrey pinned.......

> little triumphant smile when he finally does.....got benrey on his stomach and he's subconsciously rutting against benrey's ass like in black mesa but hes just not noticing while he's berating benrey for losing

> talking right into his ear, and benrey lets out a little gasp when he does a particularly hard thrust and then hes like oh. fuck. he takes in a deep breath and can smell benrey's sweat and realizes hes just as horny about this as he is. cant help but bury his face in the back of his neck and lick. and benrey starts pushing back into him and talking the worst dirty talk and it makes him growl right against his neck and put his teeth there again as a warning not to move but benrey doesnt still, he just keeps talking. so gordon bites down, hard, cutting him off mid sentence with a yelp

f. fucking. benrey......arching his back into it.......pressing his hips up as high as theyll go......the angles bro.....the angles

> also: gordon popping boners more easily, even when he's just platonically excited w/ benrey..... yeah... :)

> like the thing about this is just that he got so excited from the wrasslin that he popped a boner....wasnt even thinking of horny.....

> not until benrey started gasping and arching back into him. then hes immediately aware of how this looks...like hes already basically in the position in his fantasies hes just rutting against him in the imitation of fucking

> gordon getting more frenzied by the little sounds benrey is making as he clamps down on his neck, drool dripping down his chin. benrey braces himself with one hand and gets the other to pull his pants down and then tug on the leg of gordon's down a bit because gordon is kind of. not thinking straight right now. gordon gets the message and fumbles with the buttons to get it down and like. haha i thinnk it would be fun if benrey prepped himself before this and gordon notices like. you really managed to prep urself this time? god, you really wanted this to happen. but maybe benrey had been doing it the last few times cause gordon would get in his space again sometimes and things were tense

NO GOD THIS IS GOOD. LIKE. oh my god gordon just like bitching at him and getting up in his face and Growling a couple times before while his pants are all tented from the inadvertent excitement boners that he doesnt even realize hes having.....and benrey might not be smart but hes not stupid

theres like a 50% chance theyre gonna fuck at any given time he realizes so like. why not......

even if it doesnt work out in the moment benrey still spends the whole time hopped up on the knowledge that they could have, that he was the little fucking pervert who got himself all prepped just in case gordon decided todays the day hes just gonna mount him, and honestly the way he beats his meat and fucks himself afterwards might be nearly as good as the real deal, just from that little bit of self-inflicted degradation

like u said...........he really wanted it to happen

> hhh.... maybe gordon ruts a bit against his ass and benrey guides him in and. he makes a deep growling rumble when he bottoms out. benrey feels it through his chest and gets a full body shiver as he's filled. i dont think hes fully developed his knot yet but its a tight fit. he starts fucking hard and fast into him while open mouthed panting, he cant keep his face away from the benrey's neck, licking up the sweat and burying his face there to breathe in his scent

the fucking . the desperation......every instinct in his body has been telling him to fuck benrey - yes, that benrey, fucking benrey - into the ground for......weeks now? months??

dudes probably tried everything he can think of to overcome it and to think about literally anything else when he gets off but nobody he fucks even comes close to smelling as good as benrey did when gordon had him pinned and gasping and sweating and he could smell the want rolling off him in waves.....and it sucks massive dick and he hates it

> hes been driven crazy by this thought for so long.....cant fucking control himself. wh. what if gordon managed to get a hold of a piece of benrey's clothes that he left and held it up to his face when he let himself jack off to this particular thought so he could get the scent but it jsut wasnt the same without his warm, panting body below him . he always nuts the hardest when he has it though

huffing benreys undershirt and desperately rutting into a pillow on his hands and knees with his ass fully up and hes just utterly debased right now

sad and pathetic gordon freeman humping his pillow like a dog and whining thinking about fucking benrey. if his past self could see himself like this right now he would be disgusted

> !!!!!!!!1 HIM GETTING INTO THE MOUNTING POSITION ON INSTINCT WHEN HE DOES IT...YOUR BRAIN ! i think that gordon would definitely give everything hes got to benrey when he finally gets to fuck him.

> now that hes actually doing it he's just out of his goddamn mind. benrey already being ready for him, slick and hot, just letting him push in .....i think he would definitely go insane

dudes never fucked so hard or so mindlessly in his life......for once all the neuroses just fly out the window. overcome by instinct

> letting out all these whines and moans, not even caring for how loud hes being... benrey's wanted this so fucking bad hes just eating it up, pushing back on him like an animal and getting a power trip that he made gordon this unhinged

thinking about him just being utterly shocked when benrey guides him in and he can just bury himself all the way to the hilt so easily and it makes something in his brain snap

> gordon doesnt even tell benrey when hes close, benrey can just start to feel his knot swell inside him and how it stretches him a bit past what he prepared for...but he wants it in him so fucking bad, he just lets gordon keep fucking into him

like. oh my god. does benrey even know about the knot or is this a brand new and fun surprise for him

> I DONT KNOW......I JUST REALLY LIKE THE THOUGHT OF HIM BEING A BIT CAUGHT OFF GUARD BY IT....

> being caught off guard by it but being so turned on by the feeling of it filling him that he lets out this really high, needy sound. which goes straight to gordon's dick and he just pushes into him harder and jolts his whole body with it. maybe he h....he bites down on the other side of his neck again and thrusts in one more time before coming deep in him. just shuddering from it, eyes squeezed shut and jaw locked around benrey

benrey just fuckin. face down ass up and arching his back as high as he can

(mumbling very quietly) it might be cool also if. gordon maybe.....started growling some things as he got close. a certain something. a word

you know......just......bent over benreys back......arms wrapped around benreys chest and fingers digging into the soft flesh (maybe even his titties, if youre feeling spicy).......pistoning his hips in staccato bursts while he growls.........u bh hhhhh......"mine". over and over not even realizing hes doing it b/c his brain is so fogged out on the sheer delight of rawing benrey after having thought about it non-stop

(mumbling so quietly im speaking at a pitch below the human hearing threshold) benrey hoarsely saying "'m yours, 'm yours" while hes got one hand jammed underneath himself to tug at his dick is the thing that sets gordon off and makes him come, perhaps. perhaps

and gordon just.....slumps over him, leaning his full body weight on him, panting weakly into his ear while his hips subconsciously rut just a little bit, arms still wrapped around benrey but otherwise as useless as a bump on a log while benreys jerking himself off to the wild new feeling of having that knot stretch him open and tug at him every time gordon shifts his hips

gordon nuts and becomes utterly useless but at least his knots still fat as hell so benreys still got something to work with

(sobbing) i just want to see men acting like animals leave me olone..... its about the submission to instinct......the degradation and dehumanization......and also the scent kink its all about the fucking scent kink. its about wanting to huff a guy you pretend you hate like hes a fucking magic marker and its about wanting to make him smell like u

> for scent kink, Gordon's boners due to sweaty benrey hehehehe. this is narsty -> Benrey is like "yeesh that was a lot of exertion" after their first almost-sex wrasslin match, and gets embarassed, so next time he like, wears a bunch of old spice.... but gordon doesn't get as excited. like yeah he can feel him against his back and yeah he's not soft but.. he's not panting or as hard. benrey thinks real hard when he gets home

> CLEAN SWEAT OK ITS A COMBATIBILITY THING OK. IT IS. LOOK UP THE SCIENCE OK I ...walks away. clown shoez

YOU ARE SO FUCKING CORRECT THANK U

> Maybe next time He doesn't bother with the old spice at all, and he gets real into the wrasslin... hell maybe he even uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh gets gordon's head under his arm im just saying

I DIDNT WANNA BE THE ONE TO SAY IT BUT NO YEAH THATS COOL. ITS A VERY COOL THOUGHT

think about......dogboy gordon roughhousing and getting pinned down himself and snapping his teeth up at benrey like joking but not joking. you know

they both start just getting really into roughhousing b/c sometimes gordons brain gets Stressed The Fuck Out by all the added stimulation to the senses of being pupy......theres too many sounds and smells sometimes and it makes him even more neurotic and makes him start acting up and getting irritable and trying to start shit until he exerts himself enough to tire his brain out and make it shut up

maybe even like.....in the interim after black mesa but before he runs into benrey again, gordon becomes a fucking hot mess b/c he doesnt know how to deal with it all and the only way he got thru black mesa without his brainstem snapping in half was b/c he and benrey would start shit and start fighting and wrestling and the rest of the science team eventually shrugged and accepted this as a (very weird) part of their life now. he looks like hes one minor inconvenience away from a panic attack and its so sad

any kind of physical exercise would help (he takes up jogging when hes feeling stressed out, which is a lot, and hes gotten some really nice legs by this point) but theres just something different about the roughhousing. its a mental exercise as well as a physical one, so it exhausts his brain more, and unbeknownst to him, he just gets fucking endorphins from the way benrey smells and from being able to mark him with all the up-close physical contact theyre getting. so. hence the wrestling and roughhousing and gordons occasional tendency to just pounce the guy in public and start fighting him with his tail wagging and thumping like crazy

it might be even better if gordon attempts to roughhouse with just about the whole science crew at some point, just for a point of comparison

like.....its usually good, its satisfying, and it wears him out and lets him function like a human being......but theres just something about roughhousing with benrey thats really satisfying and he doesnt have the emotional intelligence to figure out what it is

gordon freeman is an idiot, is what im saying

> tommy indulges him and probably lets him win a few times, coomer soundly wins out every time and bubby probably...loses some before getting pissy LOL. i think that its fun for him to get the most Good Feelings out of roughhousing with benrey.....

AUUUUGHHH WHAT IF HE LICKED BENREYS FACE THO

g gbfbhhh god im obsessed with the way benrey laughs at him and asks "what the fuck is wrong  with you?" in the act 3 commentary and thats the exact kind of vibe im feeling from him about like. everything gordon does in pupymode

> Okay, before I go to bed, I shall leave you with a Dog Thought™. Gordon probably wouldn’t be the “best trained” dog in the world because, well, he doesn’t have anyone to make him listen or obey. Heck, given his need to be in control, he probably thinks he’s the leader of the proverbial pack and nobody can tell him what to do. He’d probably slip and do quite a few “rude” and obnoxious dog things, including but not limited to being all over Benrey.

> Trying to goad him into roughhousing. Licking his face. Being in his space to the point that it even starts to make Benrey raise an eyebrow. Inappropriate marking and whatnot. [cough] And what if Benrey--in a weird reversal of the roles we usually give--is stuck with the task of… training Gordon… to behave…

> YOU KNOOOOW. Because pitting alpha dog Gordon against Benrey, who is trying to get him to be “good”...

> … Well, that could be interesting.

> Imagine if you will: Benrey realizing he needs to get Gordon under control. As much as he likes the attention, it's becoming too much. Relentless. Tables have been turned and now he's the one that's a little overwhelmed by the situation because, well, Gordon is running on pure instinct half the time. Making it hard to do things. Making it hard to live his life. Always in his bubble which was, like, fine at first but now he can't do anything without feeling a wet tongue on his face or having Gordon trying to goad him into rough housing.

> He needs so much attention. Has so much energy. It's too much.

> So, he decides he's going to try to "train" Gordon to not... do that. Benrey trying to assert dominance over Gordon, as if he were just a normal dog. Gordon, who has already marked Benrey and decided that Benrey belongs to him does not take to this very well. This is not how the chain of command works. This isn't how the chain of command works at all.

> Benrey, struggling to curb him through praise and admonitions--"good boy," "bad boy," tossing him ~treats~ if he does something right--is now facing off with Gordon, who is both enamored with the attention he's getting but utterly pissed off by the fact Benrey is trying to stop him from doing what he wants.

losing it at the tables being turned and now gordons the annoying fucker getting up in benreys business all the time and never leaving him alone. he deserves this

> They're basically both unmovable objects and unstoppable forces. Benrey is stubborn and isn't going to give up all his sweet PS3 time because Gordon won't stop humping his leg, and Gordon is not going to give up his God given right to make Benrey his property. But Benrey isn't completely averse to the idea of being Gordon's bitch. He just wants to be his bitch on his own terms.

> So, in a surprising show of... well, intelligence on Benrey's behalf, he starts redirecting Gordon's energy towards what HE wants Gordon to do.

> That's how you handle misbehaving dogs anyway. You redirect their energy. That's what all the books on dog training says anyway, and Benrey's inclined to believe it because he's read it in all two books on the subject he casually flipped through.

> So, when Gordon starts getting in his space, he starts redirecting him to touch where he wants touched. "Good boy." When Gordon starts getting a little rough, he purposefully positions himself so he gets the most out of it. "Good boy." When Gordon's licking his face, he starts trying to guide that tongue down to his neck. Feels better there. "Good boy."

> Because he's not a complete idiot. Him and Gordon both know this is sexually charged at this point. And Gordon... Gordon can bend his behaviors a little bit as he's being directed if he still gets to do what he wants (in a way), and Benrey still gets to be fondled by the nerd.

> "But part of the problem is that he is in Benrey's space all the time!" Yeah, but Benrey figured that out, too. You know what shuts up Gordon real fast? Pushing him back down on the other end of the couch and telling him to stay. And if he listens, he slowly, carefully hand feeds Gordon a treat as a reward. Pushing it into his mouth, making sure it goes all the way in. Letting Gordon lick the last bits of taste off of his fingers. He usually sits still after that. "Good boy."

i have a thought thats almost unrelated but im so desperate to give this scenario the proper context

thinking about......gordon getting out of black mesa and hes still dogboy.....and hes attempting to go back to life as normal now that benreys out of his hair for ever but one day his pupy nose catches That Fucking Smell on the air and he realizes that benreys not fucking dead. he thought benrey was fucking dead, b/c he killed him

gordon freeman losing his mind for a solid week or two trying to hunt that smell down (why?? to prove a point?? to try to kill benrey again??? uh huh.) and then when he does hunt benrey down, its like.....well, what was the plan, bud? you found him, and now youre having a staredown outside a 7/11 while benreys frozen halfway through his big gulp

i literally forgot what i was typing b/c dogy gordon tum y rub b gtfhgbb ggfabgbbg

and.....well......he doesnt know exactly what his game plan was, but he does know that benrey cant be trusted as far as u can throw him, and hes not about to let benrey wreak havoc on new mexico if he can help it, so now his new hobby is......tracking benrey across the city to keep an eye on him

and thats how they keep ending up in close proximity

and thats how u start looping in the whole role reversal thing.....suddenly gordons the one that benrey cant shake......hes a bloodhound and hes got the scent

SORRY im SORRY i crave context with the same ferocity that i crave, like, air

and then they start roughhousing when gordon tackles him to the ground one day to stop him from doing.....something......and gordon snaps being to being a normal person so quickly afterwards that its dizzying. turns out a solid 80% of what he really wanted was a sparring buddy

> good afternoon everyone this is not horny in the slightest but i just wanted to say- you know that thing dogs do where they get REALLY excited and playful when you come home from a long day at work? well i’m just thinking about. y’know how benrey has a tendency to just, vanish for a while and come back like nothing happened? think it’d be cute if he were gone for a particularly long stretch of time b4 catching up with the science team again and gordon RESPONDS in his typical annoyed, bratty fashion while his body language is saying something completely different (he still hasn’t mastered the art of puby)

> like, u know, tail wagging a hundred miles a minute, ears perked up and attentive, subconsciously getting all up in benrey’s space

Im going to Cry thats so fucking cute wtf wtf  wt ff

still going insane thinking about the “good boy” thing......like...... its all fun and games until hes grappling his best friend benrey and hes got benrey in a headlock and hes plastered against benreys back from head to toe and his tails thumping excitedly against the floor and hes panting hot and harsh right against benreys ear and benrey takes that moment, right there, to choke out "good boy"

its half outright horny and half power play b/c benreys banking that either theyre gonna fuck or gordons gonna let go and be like "what the fuck, man" and then benrey can get the drop on him again

the way gordon just goes stiff after he says it.....breath getting shaky.....dick twitching once against benreys ass and the guy can fucking feel it clear as day......Augh

his tail slows.....and then fires right back up again when he tentatively rocks his hips against benreys ass and feels the sound benrey makes more than he hears it......and like for fucks sake theyve been dancing around how horny their roughhousing sessions are for weeks, this guy deserves to finally get his rocks off by dry humping benreys ass while benreys getting spots in his vision from how tightly gordons got his arm wrapped around his neck. he deserves this

gordons free hand slowly opening up and pressing flat against benreys shirt, then crawling under it so that he can feel the bare skin of his stomach......rocking his hips against the dip between benreys cheeks and whimpering when benrey says it again, breathless and hoarse. "good boy." his tongue poking out to lick a broad, wet stripe up the side of benreys neck to taste the salt and sweat and the hormones, jesus christ, hes never been able to taste if somebodys horny before but its rolling off of him in waves.......and gordons breath comes out so loud and harsh and desperate when benreys leg lifts up a little bit for him to slot his own between them more easily

just mumbling stupid horny shit like "fuck benrey, you taste so good" while his tongue lolls out of his mouth and he licks the curve of benreys ear and rolls benrey onto his stomach b/c something in the back of his brain is whispering to him that it would be a really, really good idea, and hes originally got benrey just crushed flat against the floor with his full body weight but benrey takes a rattling breath and tells him to ease up, get up offa him.....

and gordons confused at this point b/c he was pretty sure this was where this was going, he was being a good boy, but that thought doesnt last very long b/c benreys shuffling into position under him, raising his hips and pushing gordons up with him while his face and torso are flat against the floor, and, Oh. hes. hes doing that. this is what theyre fucking doing now

> gordon taking the collar of benrey’s shirt in his mouth in an crude imitation of scruffing him

every fucking bone in gordons body is telling him to move his hips, fuck benrey stupid, bury himself to the hilt, but he cant do that when theyre both still clothed so he does the next best thing and ruts against benrey like he fucking means it and like if he just tries hard enough, gets enough friction, itll be just like fucking him for real......

hes so dizzied by looping thoughts of he wants this, he wants you to mount him, like youre a filthy fucking animal, arent you? you sick fuck, you wanna mark him and breed him and hed let you, hed beg you for it, look, hes doing it right now and when he comes back down to earth, yeah, benrey is begging right now, isnt he. while hes palming at the front of his sweatpants and whimpering and calling gordon a good boy, attempting to tug his pants down to his knees so gordon can rut against bare flesh, and gordon slows down just enough to let him do it and to fumble open his own zipper to ease some of the agonizing pressure

gordon fumbling his dick out of his underwear to line it up between benreys fat cheeks and god, the feeling of skin against skin is so much fucking better than chafing against his jeans that it makes him growl against benreys neck and benrey cant pump his fucking dick fast enough. hes so encouraging, what with all those little sounds hes making and the way hes arching his back and pressing his hips up as high as theyll go, groaning into the crook of his arm "fuckin, fuck me, bro, j-just like that"

> thinking...... they both get so lost in it, they both can’t hold back long enough to fuck for real. this is too hot, benrey feels something hot and wet on his ass and gordon is curling into him. benrey’s never felt so simultaneous turned on and frustrated that he’s still empty, he’s still gonna have to wait, snd ironically that denial pushes him over too

GOD yes fuckin. coming on his ass b/c gordons so frantic and desperate that he cant wait...... but seeing his cum all over benreys ass is deeply satisfying in its own way. he smears it deep into benreys skin to mark him like that

> oh hey imma be nasty sorry but Gordon all cum-high just sort of manouvering Benrey until he can start licking his cock clean bc he likes to uh. i mean benrey's all wet and you know. he likes it. and benrey comes from that, before he can even think about sucking him off properly

> he doesnt have a thought left in his head at the moment... and can u blame him? so he just uh follows he nose.......  and benrey's brain is deleted except for "GORDON FREEMAN ON MY DICK????????" bouncing around like a screensaver yes

> yeah he's not even trying to suck him off really, hes not gotten that far yet cuz hes so cumbrained, gone stupid, etc

im gonna be gross here too okay......and like. fucking. huffing and burying his nose into the crook of benreys thighs b/c he smells so intensely like sex and sweat and it makes gordon lightheaded

> YEAAH maybe he starts licking there before he gets up to his dick. it's not like he's dragging it out really so it's not long but benrey's gaping like a fish. he's trying to say something sorta but he can't get any words out and isn't even sure what he himself is trying to say

maybe he cant help himself and he just starts licking and biting on impulse b/c its your resident fuckin thigh guy here and i think benrey deserves to get em chomped like a drumstick

> and then that's gordon's tongue on his dick, bro and this neurotic mf looking so pleased and blissed out as he sloppily licks him all over is a sight he couldn't have even cooked up in his imagination before now

> benrey not coherently enough to warn him he’s like right there, his babbling incoherently at the tease of gordon’s nose and lips is gonna make him- and then his Tounge darts out and it’s over, the start of the end and he’s spurting all over gordon’s completely surprised face without even being jerked or licked through it

> maybe since gordon's been so stressed and keyed up for so long that benrey coming is a surprise but still doesn't shock him enough to clear the cumbrain, so he licks ben clean after that too, while he's twitching and whimpering etc

> think that benrey massive meat being useless and barely even touched is hip and rad even in the context of him technically being in the higher position of power

> then rests his head on beny's belly for a while, feeling very accomplished and tired. he'll panic later, don't worry

god im still thinking about. pillow humping/voyeurism

gordon freemans a bad fucking dog and sometimes he cant help himself and just starts rutting into a pillow with his ass up and his face buried in one of benreys undershirts while hes just panting and mumbling shit the whole time about benrey, benrey, benrey, why is he so fucking obsessed with benrey and with thinking about mounting him just like hes doing to his poor abused pillow every week

and. you know. maybe one day......benrey kind of.....catches him in the act. i think that would be cool. just coming home one day and cracking open his bedroom door and seeing gordon freeman on all fours, his teeth sunk deep into one pillow and another pillow between his thighs, desperately fucking it while hes groaning benreys name b/c he sure as shit was not expecting him back that early, which is why his cumbrain made him feel confident enough to crawl into benreys bed and roll around in it and mainline benreys scent from his clothes and nut on his pillow (and then feel fucking bad about it and frantically try to clean it off)

and benrey just slooowly steps back with his heart pounding out of his chest for possibly the first time in his whole life b/c he did not think gordon freeman ever wanted to fuck him, but here he is, using benreys pillow as an imitation of the real thing and jerking off in his bed

just turns right the fuck back around and goes into the bathroom and splashes some water on his face and stares down at his sudden boner

THANKS FOR READING ALL OF THIS B/C THIS ISNT EVEN GETTING INTO THE PISS STUFF THAT WEVE OBVIOUSLY BEEN THINKING ABOUT. SORRY FOR BEING LIKE THIS

[princessjungeun]

One Last Chance: Mina x Reader

Request: Hi! your stories are awesome! Is it okay I can request Mina x female reader college life, where Mina is the most popular rich girl, and her friends place a bet that Mina has to go out with you and make you fell in love with her but turns out the time you guys were together Mina eventually fells in love and tries to call off the bet, and you heard the whole thing, heartbroken you avoided her and Mina did anything that she could to bring you back, fluffy ending (: pleas and thank you!

Hi my loves. This is the long Mina scenario I was asking about earlier. This is really REALLY long but you all promised you wouldn’t mind so here it is 🙃

You transferred to Sungkyunkwan University at the beginning of this semester. Originally you attended MIT for Software Engineering, hacking is your specialty. When a professor recommended you for a study abroad, you couldn’t pass it up. You knew Korean well due to growing up in a heavily Korean influenced neighborhood as a child.

Coming to Korea wasn’t that bad because you were able to meet a few other people over social media before you arrived. You met your roommate months before you flew in so you already had one best friend.

Upon your arrival you already drew up quite a bit of attention. Somehow people found out you were from MIT which they couldn’t believe. Your roommate made sure to make you aware of who to avoid and who was friendly. Pretty much everyone was nice but she told you to watch for one group of girls.

Which is why when you were approached by none other than Mina Myoui aka the richest bitch in the whole school you were beyond confused. The raven haired girl asked “Hey. You’re Y/N right?” You had never seen Mina up close, she was ten times more beautiful than you thought.

“Wait do you speak Korean? I’m sorry. Are you Y/N?” She switched to English when you didn’t respond right away. You quickly tried to answer without sounding stupid “I-Uh um yes I am Y/N and I speak Korean yeah sorry I...I uh. I’m sorry...yeah.” You mentally face palmed yourself for not being able to say one simple sentence to her.

She sat down and said “you’re new and from what I know your only friend is Kahei. So meet me at the cafe down the street at 6, I’ll be waiting.” Before you could respond she got up and walked back to her group of friends who seemed to be laughing. You noticed two of the girls from her group. Im Nayeon was in one of your engineering classes while Minatozaki Sana was in a psych class you took to fill an empty slot.

When you got back to your dorm Kahei was on her bed reading a book. She asked “where’d you go?” You responded “the quad to start a project. But something really weird happened.” Kahei sat up on her bed and patted the spot next to her, “come on talk to me I wanna know.”

“That really rich and pretty girl....Mila? She’s friends with Im Nayeon and Minatozaki Sana...she came up to me and told me to meet her at the cafe down the street at 6.” Kahei’s eyes widened and she loudly said “MINA MYOUI ASKED YOU ON A DATE?” You shrugged then nodded. Kahei made you resite every thing that happened leading up to her asking you out for coffee. In the end she said “hmmmm...I don’t trust it. It sounds fake.” You responded “I do admit it’s a little suspicious that the most rich and popular girl in school asked me, the poor foreigner to a date...”

Kahei told you “well even if it is fake you’re gonna go to find out.” You looked at your sweatpants and t shirt you were currently wearing. You hair was in a messy bun and your thick glasses sat lopsided on your face. “Do rich people like girls who look like me?” You asked uncertainly. Kahei responded “only one way to find out!”

When you went to the cafe Kahei decided to tag along but sit at a different table with her girlfriend Haseul.

Mina arrived shortly after you, “oh i honestly didn’t think you’d show up.” She was surprised to see you actually came. You looked at you hands in your lap “I mean I think it’s rude to blow someone off...” Mina sat down across from you “you look really pretty.” You could tell that it was a genuine complement by the way she smiled softly when she said it. I guess rich people do like girls like me you thought to yourself.

For the next hour she asked you about everything there was she should know about you. Kahei told you to make sure not to disclose every detail about yourself because she still didn’t trust Mina. However by the end of the night you were convinced she was genuine.

•

•

•

Weeks passed and you continued to meet up with Mina, you knew Kahei and Haseul warned you about catching feelings too quickly but you couldn’t help it. Mina seemed so sweet and genuine despite her rich bitch demeanor.

You sat in the library working on a project with your classmate Yuqi. “I know we just met like this week but I don’t trust her either, I’m with Kahei on this one.” You don’t know why you decided to spill all of your business to Yuqi but something about her seemed trustworthy. You rolled your eyes “You all are delusional.”

Deep down you believed Kahei and Haseul and now Yuqi but you didn’t want to admit it. Mostly because you caught feelings for Mina. Badly. Yuqi didn’t pull her eyes away from her laptop “I-I’m just saying something here isn’t adding up. This isn’t right.”

“I’m just gonna- give me a minute.” Yuqi furiously typed away on her laptop, occasionally smiling and laughing to herself. After about two minutes passed she flipped her screen around in front of you was a KakaoTalk page. Mina Myoui’s to be specific.

“Yuqi! WHAT DID YOU DO?!” You whisper yelled to the younger girl who sat with a smile on her face. She simply answered “I hacked into her account. See?” You responded “I’m not reading her messages. That’s an invasion of privacy.” Yuqi responded “Ok well if you won’t I will, she has no relevance to me so it can’t hurt the nonexistent relationship between us.”

She scrolled and scrolled her facial expressions changing from surprised to one you couldn’t quite read. “Y-Y/N....um...I don’t know if you should read this yourself or not.” You felt a pit in your stomach form knowing whatever she had in front of her wasnt good news.

Yuqi slid her laptop to you and you read the messages shared between Mina and her friend group:

Sana: you have three days left in this bet Myoui

Chaeyoung: Sana’s right, you need to figure out how to get Y/N to confess to you

Nayeon: yeah if you don’t you can kiss that Maldives trip bye bye and we can say hello to that shopping spree :)

Mina: I dont want this anymore guys

Sana: are you chickening out?

Chaeyoung: shes chickening out

Mina: it’s not that

Nayeon: so what is it

Mina: nevermind

Jeongyeon: i might be in this friend group but this is wrong on every level

Tzuyu: I’m with Jeongyeon unnie

Dahyun: Me too

Momo: what bet? who is Y/N? I WANT A SHOPPING SPREE!

Jihyo: No you dont

Momo: no i do not

Jihyo: but I’m with Jeongyeon and the kids.

You couldn’t believe what you were reading. There was no way in hell Mina could have done this to you. Absolutely no way. Wanting to find some sort of happy ending you scrolled to a different chat with only this Jeongyeon girl. These newer messages brought on a new wave of emotions.

Jeongyeon: why are you trying to call it off now. You were all excited about it and now you want nothing to do with it.

Mina: I don’t know, It just feels wrong now

Jeongyeon: I know you Mina there’s something else

Mina: Theres nothing else

Jeongyeon: dont you dare lie to me

Mina: fine.

Mina: i like her. A lot. And i want to be with her.

Jeongyeon: then make your move

Mina: but if she finds out it was started with a bet....

Jeongyeon: well then come clean and apologize and pray she stays around. But honestly if i was her i wouldnt give you a second chance

Mina: thats not very reassuring

Jeongyeon: i’m disappointed in you, that’s the best you’re getting for now

Mina: ok, thank you unnie

Mina: i’m doing it tomorrow i’ll tell you how it goes

Jeongyeon: mhm

You looked to see when that last message was sent and it read yesterday’s date. So she was planning to confess or come clean today. Immediately you stood up and put your belongings in your bag before leaving Yuqi alone in the library.

You walked across campus to the dance studio where you found Mina dancing with another girl. “Myoui.” You pushed your glasses up to prevent them from sliding down. Mina turned and saw you “Y/N hey I thought we were going to meet la-”

You cut her off “I love you Mina Myoui, with all my heart I do! Is that what yo want to hear? Can you go to the Maldives now? You won. Congratulations bitch.” Mina looked at the other girl who stood in the room, she looked really confused and got uncomfortable and sprinted out, almost falling on her own feet.

“What are you talking about? I won? Maldives?” Mina questioned you. You snapped back “I didn’t stutter did I?” She replied “how did you- Who told you?” You responded “It’s not who told me or how I found out. You placed a stupid bet on me and toyed with my heart as if you were interested and I fell for your bullshit. Stay the fuck away from me. And if I catch you even thinking about talking to Kahei...you’ll wish you didn’t.” You turned around and walked out not giving Mina a chance to talk.

•

•

•

Weeks passed and the semester was coming to a close in 6 weeks. You hadn’t heard a thing from Mina or any of her friends. Sana and Nayeon stayed away from you when they had class with you. Kahei, Haseul, and Yuqi introduced you to their friends instead to make up for the relationship you once had.

Out of all of the girls you met through Kahei and Yuqi, Jinsoul and Miyeon were closest with you. Miyeon walked into your room “Hey. We’re going to a party and you’re coming. All you’ve done is moped around, worked on projects, or went to the boxing gym. It’s been too long you need to go out.” You groaned “don’t you have work today?” Miyeon responded “ok we meant you and Jinsoul but she’s finishing an assignment so she sent me to tell you.” You rolled over on your face knowing there was no getting out of this.  “Ugh fine.” You giving into your friends wishes.

Miyeon left and outfit for you before leaving your dorm to head to work. You looked over your reflection in the mirror. Miyeon definitely tried something with this outfit because you never wore these types of clothes.

You were finishing up your hair when Jinsoul unlocked your door, ready to go. “Woah...You look so good!” She jumped up and down and clapped her hands excitedly. You quickly but in your shoes and grabbed your phone before she yanked you out of the door.

This house party was definitely run by someone rich because this house was really nice. You linked arms with Jinsoul and held her hand so you wouldn’t lose her in the crowd of people. The two of you found your friend groups and stayed together with them for most of the night.

You noticed some of Mina’s friends were there as well but you didn’t see Mina. Jinsoul danced against you as you held her close laughing at her antics. Throughout the night you noticed she was watching one girl in particular, Kim Jungeun. She was in your guys’ friend group but because there’s a total of 19 girls in the group, the two of you weren’t exactly close with everyone. You know she went by Kim Lip, only allowing a few people to call her Jungeun.

“Ooo I see Lip is alone, now’s your chance go go!” You pushed Jinsoul towards the girl. Your best friend responded “no what about you I see Mina’s friends here, what if she arrives?” You pushed her further “i’ll be fine I can handle myself, just keep your phone on!” She nodded and let her hand slip out of yours, running towards Kim Lip.

You danced on a few girls and a few random dudes before getting tired of the environment. Knowing you couldn’t leave Jinsoul, you decided to walk upstairs to see if there was anything to explore. You accidentally walked in on a couple before you realized you should knock on doors before opening them.

You found a door that was open so you walked in, ready to punch of someone came at you unexpectedly. The room was large, like really large, pictures hanging on the walls, stuffed animals lining whoever’s bed it was.

However the most eye catching thing was the gigantic window that overlooked the city. You slid it open and saw there was enough room on the roof for you to safely sit. Taking in deep breaths of cool air you hugged your knees to your chest.

A knock on the shingles is what snapped you out of your trance. You expected Jinsoul but instead you saw Mina. The Japanese girl softly asked “Do you mind?” You responded coldly “no.” She smiled and walked out sitting next to you, “Id hope not, you are sitting on my roof.” You asked “so this is your place? This isn’t the same one I visited those times though.” Mina responded “rich people unnecessarily buy multiple houses.” An awkward silence fell over the two of you.

She looked at you but you stared straight ahead waiting for her to talk. Eventually you grew impatient, “I’m pretty sure you didn’t come out here to look at me, so whatever you have to say just go ahead.” She sighed then said “I’m sorry. I truly am. My friends were being stupid one day and betted me to go ask you out. Originally my intentions weren’t true and I only wanted to win. But after getting to know you...I kind of fell for you and I didn’t know what to do. I’m sorry.”

You could tell she was being genuine by the tone in her voice. You hesitated then said “I loved you Mina.” She quickly responded “I love you too.” You were quick to ruin the moment “I said loveD. Past tense. I-I don’t know if i can trust you anymore.

Mina reached for your hand and you allowed her to hold it. “Please Y/N. Give me one last chance and if I mess it up you’ll never have to even think about me. I’ll make sure my friends don’t think about doing anything. Please just one more chance. Please.” Something about seeing her like this made your heart melt and butterflies erupted in your stomach.

You gave in “Fine. One last chance. That’s it.” She smiled and finally you looked at her. Her adorable gummy smile that you once loved so much was back. She placed a hand behind your neck, with her eyes she asked you for permission. You nodded and she kissed you softly. In that moment you remembered every reason why you loved Mina before.



[theshawnieboi]

Boss Baby | pt. 2

boss baby pt. 1

let me know what you think! x

It is now my fifth day at work, and so far so good...I guess.

“Good morning.” I greeted Shawn as I gave him his coffee.

“Good morning, Lexine.” He greeted back, quite cheerfully. “I want you to join me for that outside meeting, just for additional note taking when I miss something.” He said before entering his office.

I look at Nancy nervously and she just nods at me for reassurance that I can do this. “Just make sure you listen and take note of everything.” Nancy said before going back to work.

“Let’s go.” Shawn was suddenly in front of me without noticing and was sipping on his coffee.

I took all the necessities before standing up and nodding to Shawn. “Let’s go.” I grinned.

“So, there are going to be breaks in between this meeting. All I need for you to do really is just take down everything important then send them to me when the whole thing is done. This is a major deal so hope that everything goes well.” He said all in one breath as we got on the elevator and rode it down to the parking lot.

“Good morning, Mr. Mendes. Where to?” The company driver, who was waiting for us at the lot, asked.

“I’ll drive. You can take the rest of the day off.” Shawn nodded and took the keys from him.

“Thank you, sir. Drive safe.” He responded and went to the locker room for the staff.

“You know, you don’t have to be so awkward with me.” Shawn snickered.

“But you’re my boss. So, I think I have to?” I said, which ended up sounding more like a question.

“No, you don’t.” He argued, opening the door to the passenger side of the car and helped me get in.

Okay, Lexine. Breathe in. Breathe out.

“So,” Shawn mumbled as he got in the car and started it. “How is working for my company going so far?”

Besides the fact that I slept with my boss? “It’s all good.” I reply simply. “The environment is pretty good, and the people are amazing.”

“Including the boss?” He joked as we drove to the venue.

“Meh.” I shrugged.

He gasped exaggeratedly and clutched his heart feigning hurt. “Meh? How dare you.” He looked at me with this overly fake shocked face which got me giggling. Cute.

“I guess the boss is cool too.” I sigh like I’m being forced to say this.

“Okay, I’ll accept that.” Shawn just chuckled at me.

I feel like I can finally breathe comfortably now that we’ve had this kind of interaction.

“Anyway, we got to talk some business first.” He said seriously, finally going back to the boss man that he is.

I quickly took my phone to type in whatever he has to say about the deal that was going to happen.

“We need this author to publish his book through us. He’s actually had some books published, but it didn’t gain any recognition. This is where we come in.” Shawn stated, glancing at me. “In this meeting, I will be pitching to him and his team of creators how we’ll get him rich. Meaning, after the contract signing, there will be the editing process, then comes the actual publishing of the book, and then finally, marketing.” 

I was face-to-face with my phone as I try to type everything word per word. 

“You don’t have to type everything.”

“I might forget the stuff.” I scratched the back of my head like a little kid who was faced with complicated math problems.

“You don’t have to remember the stuff.” He chuckled.

“Sure?”

“Yes, this is just the basics of a publisher.” He smiled at me reassuringly.

“Okay, okay. So, all I have to do later is take note of what the other party is saying?” I asked.

“Yes.”

“Don’t we have people who meet with authors like him?”

“We do, but I feel the need to do this on my own.” Shawn shrugged at me, answering my question.

After a few more minutes of driving, we finally arrive to the venue of this meeting. It was a coffee shop where they had conference rooms for meetings like these, and I could see that people were already sitting there. We were ushered upstairs by this waitress who couldn’t stop staring at Shawn. I know right, sis.

Anyway, as we got upstairs, there was a good-looking man, probably our age, sitting at the top of the table. There were also other people sitting on both his sides at the table.

The good-looking dude stood up and met Shawn halfway before shaking his hand. “Hey, I’m Tyler Ryle, and this is my team.” He said, pointing to the other people at the table.

“Good morning, I’m Shawn Mendes.” My boss greeted back, shaking his hand. “This is Lexine Knightly, she’s our scribe.” He let go of Tyler’s hand and put a hand on my shoulder, introducing me to everyone.

I put my hand up for a little wave before following Shawn to the other end of the table. He pulled my chair out for me, and waited for me to sit down before sitting opposite Tyler. What a gentleman, hmm.

I took my laptop out from the bag and set it up, and saw Shawn waiting for me. I nodded to him, telling him it was okay to start now.

“Thank you so much for taking the time to meet with SM Publishing.” Shawn said, starting off the meeting. He continued on to talk business and I was just watching him, quite amazed.

A little after two hours, two waitresses came and brought us coffee, a basket of muffins for snacks and small plates.

Shawn was still speaking when he reached over to get two plates and put muffins on each of them. “I’ve got all the best people to help work on everything before and after publishing your book.” He said, placing one plate in front of me and smiled at me before grabbing two cups of coffee and placed one also in front of me. 

“Thank you.” I smiled at him gratefully.

“What about us?” One person from Tyler’s team asked.

“There will not be any changes regarding your team, so basically what’s going to happen is that you and our team will work together for this book, and all future books of Tyler.” Shawn answered confidently to which Tyler nodded, looking like he liked the idea.

Shawn was looking at Tyler expectantly, and he just nodded again which got Shawn grinning like a little kid on Christmas. “Is that a yes?”

Tyler did not say anything, instead he pointed to the contract that Shawn was holding and got his pen. 

Shawn stood up and went to bring the contract to Tyler, and they both signed the contracts. After the contract signing, we stayed for a while to chitchat some more regarding the book.

It was now a little over noon, Shawn and I bid our goodbyes to everyone and went back to the car. 

“This calls for a celebration! Cancel the rest of my meetings today!” Shawn woo-ed in the car before starting it and driving towards somewhere.

“Are you serious?”

“Yes! So where do you want to eat?” He asked.

“Anywhere’s good for me.” I shrugged, scrolling through the company phone cancelling and rescheduling all of his meetings.

“Do you like Japanese?”

“Yeah.” I answer, my attention still on the phone.

After a little while we arrive at this cute little Japanese restaurant. He parked the car and got down first then went to the passenger side and opened the door for me.

“Oh, thank you.” I grabbed his waiting hand and got out of the car. “So, is this where you bring all your scribes?” I joked, looking around at the vicinity.

“Nope, just you.” He opened the door for me and winked as I passed him.

As we sat down and got our orders taken, Shawn was in a phone call for a few minutes and I was texting my best friend.

Anniebee sent you a message. Wru? R u available for lunch?

You sent a message to Anniebee. Im out w my boss

Anniebee sent you a message. OOOOOOH is this mr sexy boss mendes

You sent a message to Anniebee. Ure stupid bye

I put my phone back in my pocket and Shawn was done with his call and was just looking at me.

“Well, congratulations Mr. Mendes.” I grinned.

“Congratulations to us.” He put his glass of water up for a toast and I clinked my glass with his. “So, how’s life going for you?” He said, awkwardly starting a conversation.

“Life’s going good.” I nodded, thinking about what’s been going on lately. “Everything’s right where I want it to be. How about you?” I asked back, still with the awkwardness making him chuckle.

“I could actually say the same.” He sighed. “Did you know that a lot of other publishing firms are trying to get Tyler too?” My mouth opened to an inaudible ‘oh’ which he nodded to. “Yeah, so anyway, this is a huge achievement for us.”

“I’m amazed.” I blurted out.

“What? Why?” Shawn chuckled at my sudden outburst.

“Because, you know, you’re young and you’ve already got this whole company so successful.”

“Well, the company wasn’t mine to begin with so...” He trailed off. “My grandfather started this, then passed it on to my dad, and then my dad passed it on to me. You know, the typical dynasty type of thing.”

“Oh, okay.” I nodded in understanding. “But how old are you?”

“I’m turning 21 on August.”

“Holy shit, I’m a year older than you.” I stated in shock.

“Everybody in the company is older than me.” Shawn just shrugged nonchalantly, laughing softly.

The rest of lunch went by with just us talking about anything and everything from work to a little bit of our personal lives; and after paying for our meal, Shawn and I went back to the office to finish some leftover work for the day.

a filler but kind of a necessary filler bec these are the supporting facts about ceo!shawn

anw lmk what you guys think and apologies for sucking huhu still testing the waters out

taglist: @ashwarren32​ @ellascarlettangel​ @ilsolee​ @mx-and-mb​ @to-the-road​ @shawnmendes048​ @miclarodeluna

tell me if you wanna be on the taglist! and you can search and follow #boss baby shawn for updates hehe

boss baby pt. 3

[glitter-lisp]

analogical/royality

emo friend: if i ask you a question do you promise not to laugh

romano: no but I promise not to tell you if I laugh

emo friend: bitch

emo friend: whatever I’ll take it

emo friend: okay here goes

emo friend: (not laughing means not typing out lol or lmao either)

romano: rofl

emo friend: I am going to kick your ass

—————

little brother best friend forever: Afternoon, Patton. Are you available to chat for a few minutes?

Patton: always!!! what’s up, bud?

little brother best friend forever: I have the sort of question I don’t normally ask.

Patton: ooooh, what is it?

little brother best friend forever: You know that thing that you always want to talk about and that I never want to talk about?

Patton: OH MY GODO HMY GOD OHMYGOD

Patton: YES PLEASE ASK ME RELATIONSHIP QUESTIONS OH MY GOD I AM SO READY

—————

emo friend: im serious though if you laugh I will delete all the contacts in your phone and let you figure out who tf is who

romano: woah ok serious talk time then. No laughing. Promise

emo friend: really promise?

romano: Cross my heart and hope to die

emo friend: do you think Logan likes me?

romano: bUAHAHAHAHA

—————

little brother best friend forever: Please control yourself. I’m embarrassed enough as it is.

Patton: right!!! Sorry!!! I’m being good :D what’s the question?

Patton: :D

little brother best friend forever: Will you be able to keep it to yourself if I tell you? It’s not something I want bandied about.

Patton: super secret!!!! I’m great with secrets!! Like I never told you that I was the one who spilled orange juice on your Sherlock Holmes book in second grade

little brother best friend forever: What?

Patton: what

—————

emo friend: ROMAN I STG

romano: Roman is too busy wheezing to come to the phone right now please leave a message

romano: oh my god dude you had me so worried there I thought this was something serious

emo loser: you’re such an ass. this is serious I’m serious does he like me

romano: no dummy he hates your guts obviously he’s just been pretending to like you all these years. It’s a long con

romano: virgil

romano: virgil you know I’m kidding right

romano: dude it’s been like five minutes I’m sorry I was kidding

emo loser: ok

—————

little brother best friend forever: I’ve been talking to Virgil lately, and he’s said some things that have made me think.

Patton: wow, made YOU think? That’s a new one!!!

Patton: jk you’re very smart and ilu

lover boy: Yes, well, you know I’m not the best at subtext, but even I have noticed the sorts of things he’s been implying.

lover boy: Without going into too much detail, I’ve been thinking about implementing some changes into mine and Virgil’s relationship.

Patton: OH MY GOD O HMY GOD OHMYGODOGMYGOD

—————

romano: Logan adores you, virge. You’re his favorite person in the world

emo loser: yeah?

romano: yeah, def

romano: what brought this on? Is something going on with you two? I thought you were solid

emo loser: no nothing’s happening it’s just. Idk I mean you know how I get with the

emo loser: thinking

romano: ah, yes, the thinking. and the overthinking?

emo bean: yeah and the overthinking

—————

Patton: OKAY SO HOW ARE YOU GONNA DO IT

Patton: WILL THERE BE FLOWERS

Patton: WILL YOU SING TO HIM!!!!!

lover boy: No, I won’t.

Patton: DO YOUVVHAVE A SPEECH PLANNED OR ARE YOU JUST!!! GONNA!!!! SPEAK!!!!!!!!! FROM!!! YOUR!!!!! H E A R T!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

unromantic fool: Why are you yelling?

Patton: CAN I BE TGERE TO RECORD IT OR DO YOU WANT SOMETHING MORE PRIVATE

unromantic fool: I would prefer you not be there.

Patton: IF I CANT COME CAN I AT LEAST SET UP A CAMERA WITH A LIVEFEED SO I CAN WATCH AND RECORDBIT AND THEB WATCH IT AGAIN LATER

unromantic fool: Patton! It’s just a simple question; I’m not sure why you’re getting so excited.

Patton: HOW ARE YOU /NOT/ EXCITED IVE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR YEARS OH MY GOSHNESS

unromantic fool: Well, that’s... actually a little sweet.

Patton: <3<3<3

—————

romano: so what exactly are you overthinking about today?

romano: I mean Logan obvs but Why

emo bean: I dunno we’ve just been talking a lot recently and he’s been kind of

emo bean: uh

romano: kind of what?

emo bean: .........

emo bean: ........................

romano: .....

emo bean: ............

romano: virgil what has he been kind of

emo bean: ........... flirty?

romano: holy shit

—————

unromantic fool: Well, I’ve put a lot of thought into it already. I suppose some of the excitement has worn off by now.

Patton: that’s okay!!! I will be excited enough for both of us :D

unromantic fool: That’s not how excitement works, but I appreciate the sentiment.

unromantic fool: Besides, it’s not exactly a life changing question.

Patton: it.... kind of is, though?

unromantic fool: No, not really. I’ll be happy if he says yes, but I won’t be devastated if he says no. His answer won’t change the way I feel about him, but I would never push him into something he doesn’t feel comfortable with.

slightly romantic fool: I want him to be happy.

Patton: I just teared up holy heck that’s so sweet!!!!! Ilu both and ilu together <3

—————

romano: okay wait, flirty how? Like different from his usually flirting with you?

emo bean: what do you mean his usual flirting with me? Logan doesn’t ever flirt with me

emo bean: this is a very new development

romano: okay I’m more than a little befuddled right now

romano: you’re saying you’ve been dating for three years and he’s never flirted with you?

emo bean: we’ve been what

emo disaster: roman we’ve been WHAT

————— 

Patton: sooo how are you gonna do it? have you thought it out?

Patton: ha that’s a dumb question of course you’ve thought it out

Patton: but have you decided how to do it yet?

slightly romantic fool: I have some ideas. I first just want to ask you... well, this is embarrassing. But you’ve known Virgil longer than I have. I don’t like to sound uncertain, but do you think he’ll respond positively?

Patton: you mean, do I think he’ll say yes?

slightly romantic fool: In a word.

Patton: yes!!!!!

slightly romantic fool: Yes?

Patton: YES!!!!!!!!

Patton: I CAN’T BELIEVE

Patton: MY BABY BRO

Patton: IS GETTING

slightly romantic fool: Patton, you’re thirty-seven minutes older than me. 

Patton: MARRIED!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Virgil Sanders: I’m sorry, what?

————— 

romano: dating....? 

emo disaster: wtf why would you think that

romano: because you aRE?? you two go on dates? and hold hands??? and talk about getting married literally all the time?

romano: how is that not dating

emo disaster: friend dates platonic handholding joking marriage proposals

romano: virgil are you shitting me

romano: patton and i have literally gone on double dates with you two for YEARS now

emo dumbass: THOSE WERE GROUP HANGOUTS

romano: wtf is wrong with you

—————

Mr. Virgil Sanders: Goodness, Patton, I think it’s a little too early in the relationship for that large a step.

Mr. Virgil Sanders: I know you’re a very excitable person, but do try to be at least somewhat realistic.

Patton: THERE IS NOTHING UNREALISTIC

Patton: ABOUT TRUE LOVE

Patton: IT’S BEEN LONG ENOUGH

Patton: I HAVE BEEN PLANNING THIS WEDDING

Mr. Virgil Sanders: What wedding?

Patton: FOR TWO

Patton: WHOLE

Mr. Virgil Sanders: What wedding, Patton?

Patton: YEARS

Mr. Virgil Sanders: WHAT WEDDING, PATTON?

Patton: YOUR WEDDING TO VIRGIL ALSO THANK YOU FOR JOINING ME IN ALL CAPS

Mr. Virgil Sanders: pat are you fucking high

—————

romano: virgil pls tell me you’re joking pls tell me you’re playing dumb

emo dumbass: roman i’m gonna lose my shit i stg im not joking logan and are not dating and we never have been

romano: HOW

emo dumbass: DO I LOOK LIKE I FUCKING KNOW

emo dumbass: I JUST WANTED TO KNOW IF I SHOULD ASK HIM OUT

emo dumbass: JFC THIS IS THE LAST TIME I EVER ASK YOU FOR ADVICE

romano: YESS OBVIOUSLY YOU SHOULD ASK HIM OUT BECAUSE HE WILL SAY YES BECAUSE YOU ARE A L L!!!! R E A D Y!! D A T I N G!!!

emo dumbass: BITCH,

—————

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: patton darling, have you spoken to your brother recently

pattoncake: yeah, I’m texting with him right now!

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: I am going to tell you something unbelievable but I need you to know that I would never lie to you

pattoncake: of course!!!!! I know that!!! what is it?? are you okay????

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: logan and virgil.... are not dating

pattoncake: umm? I’m literally talking to logan right now and he wants to propose to Virgil

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: W H A T

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: VIRGIL LITERALLY JUST TOLD ME LIKE TWO MINUTES AGO THAT THEY’RE NOT EVEN DATING

pattoncake: why would logan propose if they’re not dating?

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: did logan like, actually say he was going to propose?

pattoncake: yeah!!!!

pattoncake: well, noo

pattoncake: but he meant it

pattoncake: I think

pattoncake: oh shoot I may have misread the situation

pattoncake: you’re sure they’re not dating?

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: you are adorable and I love you

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: yes i’m sure

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: just casually tell logan that he should ask virgil out and i’ll tell virgil the same thing and we’ll see who does it first

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: i bet it’s logan

pattoncake: I’m not betting on our friends!!!!

pattoncake: besides it’s totally gonna be virge, i believe in him!!!!!!!

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: and you don’t believe in your brother? :O

pattoncake: aNYWAYS i’m gonna text him now ok bye ilu ttyl

—————

Patton: sorry, haha, I got overexcited! you should definitely ask Virgil out, he’ll definitely say yes!!!!

Future Mr. Virgil Sanders: You think so?

Patton: I know so!!!!!!! go for it!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!!!!!

Future Mr. Virgil Sanders: Thank you, Patton.

Patton: <3

—————

stupid fuckin asshole disney prince wannabe: seriously tho virgil just ask him out

fuckin asshole disney prince wannabe: he never shuts up about you

asshole disney prince wannabe: he’ll trip over himself trying to say yes

emo dumbass: ........................................ yeah?

asshole disney prince : yeah

actual disney prince: you got this, virge

—————

Virge: soo i have a question

smort boi: Virgil, can I ask you something?

Virge: lmao same text

Virge: oh shit sorry you’re typing

smort boi: My apologies, I just saw that you’re in the middle of typing something.

smort boi: Oh.

Virge: we’re so stupid oh my god okay you go

smort boi: You can go first.

Virge: LOGAN

smort boi: Really, I don’t mind.

smort boi: oh, we did it again

Virge: okay let’s just

Virge: at the same time?

smort boi: Yes, that might work.

Virge: okay so like... in one minute from the time you receive my next text, we’ll send each other our questions at the exact same time

smort boi: That seems doable.

Virge: GO one minute on the clock

smort boi: Virgil, would you like to go out with me on a romantic date at some point in the near future?

Virge: i really like you and i think we should be boyfriends or whatever if you want

Virge: OH SHIT

smort boi: Well, that was certainly serendipitous.

Virge: youre serious? no joking?

smort boi: No, no joking at all. I would very much like to be boyfriends.

smort boi: Or whatever.

Virge: and id like to go out with you on a romantic date at some point in the near future

smort boi(friend?): Well then.

Virge <3: well then indeed

smort boi(friend): Pizza at Sal’s? Friday at six?

Virge <3: uhhhh where else would i be on friday night at six? that’s been pizza night for years

smort boi(friend): Well, yes, but this time it would be... well, romantic. Because it would be a date. We would be dating.

Virge <3: you raise a good point

Virge <3<3: i guess i’ll see you friday then

smort boifriend: I’m looking forward to it.

Virge <3<3<3<3: me too my dude

—————

emo dumbass: okay he said yes i gotta go pass out later dude

—————

Future Mr. Virgil Sanders: HE SAID YES HE SAID YES OHMY GOD HOLY SHIT PATTON WE’RE GOING ON A DATE HE SAI D BOFRIENDS WE’RE BOYFRIENDS AHOLY FU CK

—————

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: we’re just the best, aren’t we?

pattoncake: yeah, pretty much

pattoncake: ilu

PRINCE OF YOUR DREAMS: ilu2 babe

[gyeolsim]

misha calls reagan, worried sick, after it posts it’s stupid injury selfie

gyeolsim dude are you okay what happened where are you shit we're not in school i'm in korea what the fuck what the fuck, asshole

headsarolling its cool im cool just a cut no biggie im in ireland where the fuck else would i be

gyeolsim who did this to you are you okay what happened will you surviv survive fuck

gyeolsim can you die

headsarolling im not dyin misha i got it all sewed up some of the other fairies dealt with it its fine

gyeolsim what happened who hurt you

headsarolling like i told moire bitch with a knife

gyeolsim reagan

gyeolsim please fuck it [INCOMING CALL]

headsarolling yo wha's the craic?

gyeolsim [misha sounds strained, close like he is craddling the phone to his face] hey hey [he tries to sound casual, and it's painfully transparent] you okay?

headsarolling 'm fine [reagan sounds strained, like it's trying to convince itself as well] had worse

headsarolling made it through that too

gyeolsim [misha's breath hitches.] was it ...someone from the court?

headsarolling no [laugh] no im 'protected' [its voice is bitter and laced with anger]

gyeolsim okay [pause] ...good did you fuck with the wrong person

headsarolling NO. I-

headsarolling this isn' my fault for fucks sake I didn'- [reagan is interrupted by a voice in the background, speaking gaelic. it snaps something in return before its voice softens slightly]

headsarolling it doesn' matter anywaay. im fine now.

gyeolsim [misha starts going:] hey, hey, it's-- [before someone snaps at reagan and misha freezes, the phone so close to his face it'll leave an imprint in his cheek  when he hangs up.] are you not allowed to tell me say 'how's the baby' for yes

headsarolling wha- no. no tha's just my da. he says hi. i guess.

gyeolsim [reagan can't see misha blink, but there's a baffled pause.] hi reagan's da

gyeolsim okay so what happened then [misha mumbles, equal parts worry and exasperation] you know i'm going to keep calling till y'tell me

headsarolling i don' want to-

headsarolling [reagan snarls and there's a long pause before it continues] she was some fae hunter it's fine. she's gone. i'm fine. [softer] alright?

gyeolsim jesus reagan like a human? i've never heard of-- what the fuck were you thinkin [he curses in korean, then russian, because it has better curse words.] you could've-- you sure she's gone ?

headsarolling yeah like a human and- what do ya mean what was /i/ thinkin? /i/ was in /my/ house bitch came for me not the other way 'round but yeah

headsarolling yeah im sure

gyeolsim [reagan goes 'i was in my house' while misha is like 'okay! okay! i thought, because, you're just, like, you KNOW--''] [he sighs into the phone, a soft shivery sound of relief.] you gonna give me a heart attack

headsarolling ya don' get to give me shit for pickin' fights swan prince [it snaps] [there's another long pause] 'nd i've looked after myself my whole life ye don' have to worry about me i can take care of myself

gyeolsim [something about that makes misha sad] yeah but you don’t have to at least not in the academy not when i’m around you don’t have to do it all by yourself

gyeolsim okay? [he breathes out a laugh] just keep your damn ass alive till then yeah?

headsarolling ive only died twice in my life swan prince and one of those times was at a school function [its voice is - not deadpan, but neutral, as if its not sure whether or not its making a joke] but ill do my best

gyeolsim promise?

headsarolling i- yeah i promise whatever

gyeolsim [misha's bright grin is audible in a soft exhale.] good

gyeolsim i'll hold you to that so she was looking specifically for you? 09/04/2018

headsarolling [a vague hum. reagan clearly doesn't want to give a straight answer]

gyeolsim come on

headsarolling yeah probably

gyeolsim do you know where she saw you ?

gyeolsim i've never-- you don't really go out into the-- cities, towns, whatever-- the-- human world, do you i never thought about it

headsarolling no i mean sometimes i go to the towns if i need food or clothes or i'm bored but i only go at night and i know. i know when people can see me and when they can'

gyeolsim i know [misha says, a reflex of comfort, even if he doesn't.] su yun and the coven have told me stories about human hunters call us harpies i didn't realize there'd be-- that others would be hunted too

headsarolling yeah who'd have thought that people would hunt the monster that aren' hot as well

gyeolsim reagan. [the period is audible]

headsarolling swan prince. [it sounds significantly cheered]

gyeolsim [misha makes a 'humpf' sort of sound, a fat-sounding whistle, like an irritated pigeon coo.] that's so much to take in any of the other fairies ever heard of something like that

headsarolling yes tha's how-

headsarolling [there's a moment of silence before reagan continues] tha's not unheard of.

gyeolsim you think someone put a hit in you ?

headsarolling [reagan chokes on a burst of laughter] no.

gyeolsim [reagan can't see him, but misha's face brightens when it laughs at him, half pleased, half embarrassed.] it could happen !

headsarolling yeah, sure, swan prince

gyeolsim hey mac bradaigh hey hey

headsarolling what.

gyeolsim [he sounds embarrassingly fond, soft like he's never been when they're face to face] fuck you

headsarolling nah [reagan's smile can be heard in it's voice] yer no' my type

gyeolsim [misha breathes out a laugh, the bright, silver thread of his voice shredded into static.] gonna cry myself to sleep tonight

headsarolling better get to it then, id hate to keep ya

gyeolsim ya i'm already tired of hearing your voice

gyeolsim [he sounds, like exactly the opposite of that sentiment.]

headsarolling tell me about shit dreams swan prince

gyeolsim hey

headsarolling what.

gyeolsim will you let me heal you

headsarolling it won' work

gyeolsim but can i try

headsarolling fine

gyeolsim hey [he whispers again, just as insistent as the first time.]

headsarolling what. [its sounds torn between being amused and being genuinely annoyed.]

gyeolsim miss you see you soon

headsarolling ugh.

gyeolsim now go eat some fucking babies

headsarolling /bye./

gyeolsim heh bye sleepy hollow

headsarolling [it hangs up]

gyeolsim [LMAO]

[swampgallows]

therapy today went okay but i feel like i talked too much lmfao. i passed out around like 10pm and now im awake again and uhh hmmm ngngngghghhhmhm

also she asked me like “find out what you wanna get out of therapy and then we can set some goals” lmao i wanna GET FIXED 

i dunno if i am actually mentally ill or if it’s just my mom/environment or if i’m neurodivergent somehow or if i need medication or whatever the fuck it is, i just know that it’s not normal to feel okay one day and then have some minor thing happen that catapults me into feeling suicidal. im doing better lately but that’s why i signed up for therapy NOW because i know when im feeling good i get this delusion of like “haha see i never needed it at all :)” and then some little fucking thing happens (or nothing happens) and suddenly i cant get out of bed for three days. i told her that i think it’s more than my environment because even when i was busy at work and even when i was busy and away from home in college i had extremely persistent and severe depression, got into several different overlapping abusive relationships, nearly failed my classes one semester, and then i got hit by a car, was in a wheelchair for 6 months, then had our car hit by a semi immediately afterward. it’s time for new glasses btw lmao as i am still wearing the same pair that got scratched to shit and annihilated in the accident. lmfao The Accident™

this is a pic of them from the night of the accident and the scratches have only gotten worse. id take a new pic but im in bed in the dark and whatever

the therapist seemed impressed with my psychology knowledge which was kind of discomforting, in a way. i guess im just so used to my own situation and people utilizing the internet to learn about their own head cases that i dont consider it novel to have actually done research. also because with my other experiences i felt like doctors would be dismissive of me as if i was trying to one-up them or something, like “well -I- have the degree and YOU dont” like, well yeah, im not sitting here trying to correct you but i am gonna use the terminology im familiar with even if theyre super special SAT words or w/e (like i’m gonna say shit like “comorbid” and “hypnagogic” because that’s the terminology i use all the time to describe these situations... i throw out “5 dollar words” all the time :\) but i think maybe by also having a video/verbal conversation w me that she knows i’m not sitting there meticulously typing up the most fancy schmancy shit i can find, flippin through a thesaurus like a blood elf nobleman vampire’s purple prose or somethin.

i guess what i wanna get out of therapy is uh

1. i dont want to be suicidal, which means 2. i have to build confidence, which means 3. i have to become self-reliant, or more self-reliant than i am.

she suggested, on the grounds of my mom giving me interrogation any time i try to go out on my own (hence me only feeling comfortable to go out when i fucking sneak out of the house or on the VERY rare occasions that she isn’t home) that i have a written list that i either give to her personally or write out and leave for her to read at her leisure of all the answers to her questions: where ive gone, when i’ll be back, what i’m doing, etc. the problem is coming home, though, because then she reads me the riot act of guilt on anything i did. if i go out and get food, it becomes about her. if i go out and do an errand, it becomes about her. everything i do somehow falls back on her. 

i explained to the therapist that even when i was still working—a perfect chance to learn to drive and drive regularly—i took the bus the entire time. but i’d have to be driven TO the bus stop and then take the bus to work, which meant my mom drove me to the bus every day. and my dad would talk about how good it was for MY MOM to have a reason to get up in the morning, and that it’s good for her because it gives her a kind of schedule or obligation to follow. so then like... my schedule now becomes HER schedule. and i martyr my potential independence of driving to work on my own in order to give my mom a sense of purpose. 

so...every day, mom picked me up from the bus stop, just like she had been for all the years i was in school. of course i never went out and did anything after (or before!) work; i never had the freedom. sure i could tell my mom partway through the day if i was staying late or going somewhere else, but my work was also in the middle of a canyon, five miles of nothing in either direction. if i missed the bus home, i wouldnt have another chance to go home for another hour. so having buses come only once an hour and then also having my mom waiting for me at the stop... it was just too much trouble to say like “hm i think i’ll go grab a smoothie before work” or “maybe i’ll hang with my coworkers a bit and go grab dinner with them” or “maybe i’ll start going to the gym after work”. i couldnt make any executive decisions about my own life. i think that restriction of freedom happens for lower income people too, since youre relying on a (notoriously shitty) bus service to get anywhere and you also cant just throw money around that often. i had a little slush fund to treat myself every so often but i didnt have the access to it. 

EVERY day that i was 20 minutes away from the stop i would have to text my mom the name of the stop (imagine, if it were “maple street” or something, my entire text message history with my mom just being “maple” “k” “maple” “k” back and forth for months) in case she had fallen asleep or was doing something, as the bus would sometimes be late or early or whatever. and sometimes i would delay that text on purpose to have the extra time to buy something from one of the fast food places located at my bus stop, then hide it in the bottom of my bag and hope it wasn’t too aromatic that my mom would notice and ask me about it. 

BECAUSE if i bought food on a day she made dinner, she would flagellate herself about it, and if i bought food on a day that she DIDNT make dinner she would flagellate herself about it. it’s HER FAULT because she doesn’t make food enough that i have to go buy my own :((((, so the one time she does cook i’m already getting food because she’s unreliable :((((, and shit like that, instead of like, just because there IS food doesn’t...mean anything!!!!! maybe i just wanted a certain kind of food that day!! But it becomes about her!!!! everything i do hurts her. everything i do. so i just got adjusted to just... not eating, or eating the same things over and over. eventually, when i was still working, i would eat nothing but a muffin until i came home. and if there was food, i would eat it, and if there wasn’t, then i wouldn’t eat. many nights i went to bed without eating even if there WAS food because i was just so fucking tired.

i dunno i kinda lost my train of thought but basically it’s hard to assert myself because i’m not confident because a lot of the time i dont know if im doing something right. it reminds me a lot of the scene in tangled where rapunzel fucks up and something bad happens to her and her mom catches her in the act, and she uses that to reinforce rapunzel’s dependence on her. like obviously my mom isn’t abusive like that but it makes me afraid to fail and even MORE afraid to even try, because i know that if i DO fail--whatever it is--it will just be more evidence for why i should have just asked her or had her do it. and more evidence, to me, of why im worthless and shitty and incapable of doing anything.

like the other day my mom wanted me to follow her in a separate car to a car place to drop off the car she was driving, and then we’d go home together in one car. but she wanted me to do it at 9 in the fucking morning and let me know two days beforehand. i had been going to BED at like 7am at the time so i was already like ‘man this is gonna suck’. but i was still up in the morning and was getting ready to take a shower, iw as on time, but my mom said “i can tell how tired you are and how nervous you are about doing this so you know what dont worry about it. go back to bed.” and it was really shitty for me because YEAH i was super tired and YEAH i didnt feel like i was capable of driving by myself at that moment, like i probably COULD HAVE if it were an emergency, but my mom talked about doing all this shit afterward like going on a shopping trip and stuff and BASICALLY it’s less that i was afraid of the driving but more that i knew the errand wouldn’t end there. and i had gotten zero sleep and just didnt wanna fucking do it, i didnt wanna have a “girl time :)” outing with my mom, and i knew i’d basically get trapped into hanging out with my mom if i went. so i stayed home. but then that’s also a blow to me because stupid fucking worthless idiot that i am cant even drive ten miles in a fucking car, or whatever, useless leech living with my parents contributing nothing, unemployed for a year, blah blah blah. stupid fucking neet should have never been born etc etc etc

she took an uber home and had glowing reviews about the experience and that’s great for her but the guilt made me throw up because i couldnt even do this minuscule thing. so like, if i DO hand her a note and say “here’s all the shit im going to do, BUH BYE” and some shit happens, or i dont get what i need done, or i dont have a fully developed plan of what i’m doing, then it’s gonna be more ammunition toward what a useless piece of shit i am. like, i dont have good food to eat at the house, but i also have NO APPETITE so nothing sounds good, so i cant even think of what foods i would get if i could. it’s such a jarring opportunity that i would just like...not get anything at all and go home. even when i -did- have the opportunity i just went “Uhh umm uhhh fuck uhhh milk” and got that (AND THEN MY MOM CAME HOME W 2 GALLONS OF MILK FROM COSTCO, SO OF COURSE I -DID SOMETHING WRONG-!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IF I JUST LEFT IT UP TO HER INSTEAD OF DARING TO DO SOMETHING MYSELF I WOULDNT HAVE LOOKED LIKE A FUCKING IDIOT AND ENDED UP WITH 3 GALLONS OF MILK AT THE HOUSE) of course i drank the milk i bought, it’s not like it went to waste, but i was CAUGHT because there were now THREE instead of the one gallon covertly getting replaced. instead of me doing something helpful i did something that became an inconvenience.

it’s just little shit but it all adds up. it’s been all of these little fucking things forever and ever and ever, just like my mom’s hoarded garbage. “i bought just a couple of things”, innumerable times throughout the duration of my entire life, forever and ever, “just a few small things” over and over until it’s suffocating.  it’s just all this little shit all the fucking time and it’s suffocating.

naturally, the therapist sent me an article on “daughters of narcissistic mothers”. this will be a delight to read, i’m sure.

[survivorgalaxysedge]

Episode 4 | Space Cadet Blasting Off Again - Jessie

We swapped. And what a wild swap it is. I want from the Andro Tribe to the Circi Tribe. And so did Jonathan, Ari and Zoe. Four of us stuck together on a tribe of 5. We also have Ali with us. I’m worried Ali has an idol so I just don’t want us to lose at all. Let’s keep the good vibes flowing. 

AND NOW IM AM ON CALL WITH JONATHAN AND HE'S TELLING ME ABOUT THE EXACT PLACE I JUST WENT AND THE EXACT RIDDLE I DID LIKE "SOMEONE ALREADY GOT THERE" HELLLLPPPPPPPPP honestly this is what he gets for going off script! i had the room search under control and he was supposed to be in the hallway so it's not my fault he found my mess!

I encountered an alien in the idol search! I sang them a song and viola! I have a special power. I have the ability to kidnap someone from another tribe, for a full round of the game. They compete in the challenge with us. They'll attend tribal council if we go, but can't be voted out. Kind of a neat little power. It has to be used before merge. So I guess we'll see what happens. If we started with 18, swapped at 15, I imagine that merge will be at 11. I've got a few tribals to figure out when/how to use this power, if I even decide to use it at all. Man, I am loaded. Hidden Immunity Idol and this now. On a DISGUSTING note, someone used a power on me to destroy 10 of my fuel. Thankfully it was only 10 and not a whole lot of it. 

I’m actually so annoyed Why the heck would you say “we should throw the challenge .” Like legit why. This is my favourite challenge and I’m not throwing . I get that Jacob hasn’t said a lot but seriously throwing a challenge to get rid of someone who seems kinda new is so stupid . I’m actually so annoyed rn so I’m typing my thoughts so I don’t yell at the person who said they don’t wanna take the time and edit because we are losing anyways . You know what maybe if you didn’t have such a negative attitude about the situation we could turn out a badass video . Did you ever think maybe the other tribe would be down right awful and we could pull out a win ? I’m so tired of my tribe constantly losing . Anyways updated thoughts or whatever because we had a tribe swap Jacob: said creative challenges aren’t his thing . Trying to talk to him more Cindi : we haven’t spoke I don’t think she likes me from our last game though which is fine I guess? Nathan : Original tribe loyalty I guess ? Jay: Jays pretty cool. Okay that’s it I just needed to vent so that’s why it’s confessional form I also still have my idol so flex I guess ? Idk that’s sounds kinda cringe This is Jessie the space cadet blasting off again 

I AM SWAP FUCKED

I SWEAR TO GOD MY GAME ENDS WITH THESE HOES

Keegan is going home

Fourth straight immunity win! This game is wild. I’ve never done so well before! And now I’ve got another 6 fuel, which is a total of 16 fuel from reward wins. With my hidden immunity idol, and my steal a player advantage, I feel unstoppable. But, things can change at a moments notice so I’m not going to stand on my high horse, I’m going to remain realistic. I don’t have any alliance chats, the only person who has straight up said they want to work with me is Jay who is now going to tribal. It’s almost a bad thing not attending tribal so many times, because I have nothing to test or prove loyalty. Who knows what will happen moving forward. 

https://youtu.be/dm7Kta2n7hs

Well we just lost the challenge. Not that I'm surprised, we pretty much lost it when we didn't communicate for a whole day. I tried to do my part and get people discussing but once it was clear this wasn't gonna be a win for us, I just used it for strategy. I wanted to do my best despite the circumstances to prove that this tribe needs me since I'm active and good in challenges. And I think it worked! The judges shouted me out twice for my part in the video (even tho it kinda sucked, but I guess my white boy dancing was good in comparison). But anyways, I do like this tribe and I'm sad we lost, but I have a little theory on why some people didn't try so hard. It was discussed before the challenge even came out that we wanted Jacob out. How this happened was Nathan approached me as soon as we got onto the new tribe and we called and had a good talk on how we felt about the game. Turns out that the queen herself, Jessie Flynn, advocated for me as an ally to Nathan before we even swapped. And us both, and Jessie, all felt good about Cindi too. And ever since then, Nathan's been in my DMs talking about voting for Jacob. So overall I think I landed myself in a pretty sweet spot on this disaster of a tribe and hopefully we can get our shit together for the next challenge, cause things won't be so clear cut next time.

https://youtu.be/dm7Kta2n7hs

WE WON. THANK *GOD.* after flying across the country yesterday and dealing with several minor life crises, i literally spent the ENTIRETY of today working on that video - meaning from when i woke up at 10 to fifteen minutes before when it was due - and also spent seven whole dollars at the dollar tree for props & costumes soooooo if we had not won i would've been quite embarrassed. i was nervous about the editing part, as i've not ever actually put together a music video challenge, just weird silly videos like me as zac efron.... but it turned out okay! i'm not 100% satisfied with my work (i wanted to put more transition effects & it needed more variety / staging to make it less repetitive) but hey it was a thousand miles above the other teams' submissions so i will take it!!! and i never have to listen to space jam again!! anyway, i guess this means another boring day around camp. winning reward got me two more adventure missions, which i used to mostly complete the outside portion of the quest and jonathan is i think gonna finish it off for us tonight. i am hoping/assuming he'll get whatever is there since it's been literally only 48 hours since this started and the door keypad had five zillion combos, and that'd mean that's the last thing in this adventure probably? oh wait nvm we still have a shit ton of stuff to check in the hallway i should do that next. but yeah so that'll be good and i hope it is an advantage or a disadvantage that he won't play on me LOL. if i wake up and all my fuel is destroyed.... i know where you've been jonny! not much else to report right now. it sounds like ali's doing a good job of getting himself in the good graces of zoe and jonathan, which is the most ideal scenario for me so we can say bye-bye keegan. i was a bit worried that if we lost this challenge i wouldn't have a plausible reason to argue to jonathan for keeping ali - or actually, more likely, i think he would have wanted to vote zoe? she hasn't been around as much and he did express concern on saturday about whether she's doing okay. luckily though, this W has bought me a few more days to work on getting the people i like to like each other.

https://youtu.be/F4_Sylzyxyw

UGH UGH UGH I GOT TRIBE FUCKEDDDDDDD IM WITH MJ WHO I JUST SLASHED THE VOTE OF AND LIED TO AND THE OTHER 3 ARE FROM THE SAME TRIBE. GOD DAMN IT. UGH but on the other hand we won immunity and it'll give me time to get to know my other tribe mates. I just hope this isnt a "tribe strong" battle in this game. I hope everyone are free agents

woo! ari and i are together in the swap as well as keegan and jonathan, and ali wound up with us as well on the new circi tribe. we won the music video challenge so the streak continues. i’m very tired!

so the tribe swap went pretty much the best it possibly could, as i got swapped majority with the two members of my tribe i talked to the most. we won immunity so i'm chilling for another week. unfortunately, mj and silver seem to have no interest in talking to me. both of them left me on read after i initiated conversation. so. sits.

So despite the easy seeming vote, I'm still gonna be nervous until the votes get read. These players are no joke, especially knowing that Alex was completely blindsided by Nathan and Jessie. I'm staying positive because I think it's like, a 90% chance I'm in the clear, but you really don't know until you know LOL. I'm just trying to set up my position on this tribe and for the future. I've gone to Cindi, Jessie, and Nathan individually and reassured them that I'm with them for the long haul. And for now I mean it, but if any of them get too dangerous then ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ sorry not sorry~ looking specifically at you Nathan 👀

nothing rlly to say tbh happy we swapped!!!!! and happy we won!!!!!! happy to be here with jules. havent really talked much since swapping honestly but i think i'd like to work with jules and asya and somehow get silver tf up outta here when we get the chance!!!!!

https://youtu.be/kt66vebpU4k

https://youtu.be/t5x52CJdhjI

TRIBAL AGAIN. I'm so nervous. I'm the only one from Circi so that's an easy swap screwed if you ask me. But I hope I'm ok. I think I've made a good bond with Jay Nathan and jessie and they all say we're voting for Cindi so fingers crossed it's not all an elaborate ruse on me

First tribal should be a unanimous vote. I told Nathan if he voted me out I'd block him and our 50 day snap streak would be toast and, like, tbh I think that would crush him. Jay and I want to work together. The only one who might've been sketched out is Jessie but she doesn't have the numbers. It feels insane to be this not paranoid before tribal when I know Jacob is pushing my name...but also I literally don't think that he could get me out?? Like, Nathan and I were/are a dynamic duo so I do not know how he would flip. Jay flipping makes zero sense. The ONLY people this would benefit or be a neutral for is Jessie and Jacob. The only way I go is if Nathan and Jay are two of the dumbest players on the planet.

Tribals in an hour we lost Big sad energy I guess my hearts really going to supernova 

[kakashi-hatake-lover]

It's funny how life plays out sometime. Every life motivated by the push and pull of events around them. Kakashi's life has always been a journey he had very little choice or control in. Ordered how to behave, how to fight, where to go. Even when he tried to carve out his own path the current of life pulled him back to a path filled with guilt and loss.

But life, like water continued on through the storms of enraged oceans and soft trickles of forgotten streams. Life, it was tiring sometimes but kakashi took each step forward, whatever life threw he had survived, grown, broken many times, but survived.

His goal in life ever changing now focused on trying to improve the well being of his shinobi. Give new generation a future of freedom and choice, and offer support to those that suffer.

Being Hokage however had changed his life as much as he privately disliked it. The weight of village was heavy indeed. Although, Shikamaru does allow him the few moments to slip away.

Paperwork is his life now. Kakashi finally understood why the review team would scold him for late submissions. God, he was getting old.

Today's mundane trauma was the report system had crashed. And, so kakashi was sat his computer diary was stuck in the cycle as it loaded and crashed because there were no documents coming through. No, thats a lie. One report in the last 3 hours was successfully logged. He had been assured that calls had been made to IT, but kakashi was never one to just sit and idly wait.

He spun in his chair, allowed it to return him to facing the desk. The computer still loading. With new found motivation he finally picked up him phone and shuffled his was closer into his desk. He didn't have to call, him calling wouldn't suddenly resolve the issue and every report would ping onto his computer, hell if he so wished he could call the director personally.  he knew that. But~ but he wanted to call. And Kakashi cherishes each small freedom he gets, with that in mind he finally dialled and silently hoped to hear the voice he wanted to hear on the other line.

It shouldn't have come as a surprise that he would be filed into a virtually queue with the distorted jingle far too loud for any comfort only to be interuppted by a robotic female telling him his number in the queue. 7 to be precise.

"Good afternoon IT support, Olivia speaking."

The soft trill of Olivia's voice pulled kakashi from his book. Phone minutes ago abandoned to enjoy the wait music alone was now back in Kakashi's hand, pressed firmly against his ear. Even though he was alone he tried to restrain the smile that blossomed from his heart. He found himself suddenly standing, talking was always better when upright and alert.

"Olivia, Hi. It's uh~" he hesitated.

"Mr Hatake!" The young woman sounded as joyous as always. One couldn't help but feel the warmth she effortlessly radiated. Kakashi knew she would be smiling. He could hear it in her voice, she always greeted that you were an old friend, and she held you dear to her heart. Perhaps even a little nieve to the trials the world relentlessly threw. Kakashi admired that~

"Mr Hatake? Hello? Can you hear me?"

"Hm, yes sorry. My mind was a bit distracted...how are you?"

"I'm doing adequately~" Olivia chuckled. "To has been bit of a stressful one. Had a small cry over my lunch. But its all settling now, just got a backlog of reports that need pushing through."

Kakashi perched on his desk and propped his phone between his shoulder and ear which allowed him to fold his arms over his chest. "What happened?"

On the other end he heard Olivia let out a heavy sigh. "No idea, but the servers have been restarted. So all I know is the issue is resolved now. There should be a correspondence coming out to the shinobi and an issue report made for the Hokage. I imagine he's fuming! How are you?'

"Well about that. You said the issue is resolved, but my computer is still not pulling through any reports." Kakashi turned to peer at his screen the rather patronising sad face was still very much visible. On the other end the muted sound of typing began.

"Oh, let's see. Which archive are you trying to access?" It was amusing to hear the switch from cheerful to professional.

"Well at the moment its A rank archive. I refresh the page it says its fetching data and then that sad face appears."

The typing grew faster and louder all the while Olivia mimicked kakashi's words under her breath. "Okay, unfortunately I don't have access to the A rank archive to check~ and my manger is not at his desk...hm. oh! Im just going to put you on mute, I know where I can check. Is it okay if I put you on mute? Or would you prefer the hold music."

"Anything but the hold music."

"Okay hold tight I'll be back before you know it!" With a genuine giggle the line went silent. And so kakashi waited. He wondered what kind of person this Olivia really was, to talk so casually and sound as if she gave a damn. She sounded young, well younger than himself. Was this her first job perhaps? Still fresh and fully of hope. What did she look like, her hobbies and interests?

"So!" The line blew back into life. However the heavy breathing and pained wheezing told a whole story. Kakashi felt a stab of concern.

"That was the first time I've ran in months. But I asked one of the jounin live testers just to check for me and the A archive is all fine now so you shouldn't be having any issues. So, my next question to you Mr Hatake auditor in the hokage building, have you checked your Internet connection?"

Of course he has checked his Internet connection. But, then  had he? Slowly kakashi turned to face his monitor. Surely it can't be his connection? Can it? He let his eyes drift to the bottom right corner, and there. As plain as day the Internet disconnected symbol.

"Oh, well would you look at that." He flushed, he could feel his stupidity arise with the embarrassment. But with all his training his voice remained impassive. That's all that mattered. She couldn't see him facepalm and slump back in his chair.

Laughed erupted between the pair, kakashi finally took his place in his seat once again and made quick work or reconnecting his Internet. He'll never get used to this new system hes sure of it~"

"If it makes you feel any better, I spent the best part of 2 weeks not having access to one of the support channels we use. It was because I was using the wrong email...are you back online."

Kakashi smiled, refreshed his webpage and within seconds the diary sprang to life. A days worth of work flooded every crevasse. "We are back up and running." He opened the first report and scanned the details, oh the joys of paperwork!

"I'm glad we got that fixed. This will be the last time we speak probably, Mr Hatake."

The blunt statement pulled Kakashi away from his work. That was very unexpected. "Why, where are you off to?"

"The company are making some changes. So I'll be moving to support the Hokage. I dont know if he has been made aware yet. But management found out he was calling this support line alot, which isn't right. Although I have no idea who he is has been speaking to. So they are setting up a private support within the Hokage office. I was offered the position! Ill be testing software too within the actual office environment too. Its all very exciting. Maybe if the Hokage isn't strick ill be able to help others in  the main building! But that is completely out of my hands."

"I have no doubt our paths will cross." Kakashi couldn't help the amusement that filled his heart. She still had not cottoned on. Perhaps it was time to tell Olivia before it was too late? But where would the fun in that be. "When do you transfer?"

"Hmm technically in a few weeks. But I go on annual leave from today, and I have been advised that once the Hokage is informed I may start sooner rather than later. Oh~"

Shuffling over the line pulled through the line. Olivia's voice became muffled, it seemed she was speaking to someone.

"I do apologise Mr Hatake, I need to let you go now." Her voice hushed, into a strained whisper. " my manager just told me off. But! I hope you have a lovely day and maybe I will see you soon? Bye!"

"Yes, I hope so too~" the line had already disconnected.

[i-read-good-books]

Expomise Chapter 6!

I updated Expomise!

Summary: 

“It’s really good to see you, Victor. Love the hair.”

His friend flushes, “Y-yes, I thought so, too.”

For a moment, they just kind of stand there, in silence, not really knowing what to say. Yuuri wants to tell him to come in again, wants to ask how Chris and Georgi are doing, wants to reach out and touch him, like he always does.

Except… he doesn’t.

Link to ao3: here

Chapter under the cut:

“I am a strong, independent wizard who needs no man,” Yuuri whispers to himself, clutching his scarf close to his chest. “This is fine.”

“Yuuri?” Luke’s voice reaches him just as he’s finishing lacing up his skates, as cheerful as always. “We’re waiting for you here!”

“...Coming,” he calls back weakly, straightening himself up and turning to glance backwards. The Coaches who have hours in the mornings are on the ice, carefully guiding beginners and lecturing some more experienced skaters, all of which look half-asleep still, clinging to the barriers and groaning every few minutes of exhausting exercise.

Luke, of course, is also there; because the universe just hates Yuuri that much that it didn’t have enough making him anxious and terrified of squirrels. He’s at the short door that opens up to the ice, beaming at him, wearing his colourful pink beanie and the tightest leggings Yuuri’s ever seen (and he’s a ballet dancer). “Slide in, big boy.”

Yuuri flushes as he’s making his way towards him, wincing at the sound the blade make against the ground, even if it’s protected against them, “Please don’t call me that, Luke.”

“Aw,” the teenager pouts, in a way  so unnecessarily dramatic that it reminds Yuuri of Phichit. “But aren’t you such a big, strong boy?”

“I’m thi- almost fourteen,” he splutters, not meeting his eyes. “And I’ve got class now, you know.”

“You were so much nicer to me at the beginning,” Luke smiles, gently moving so that they’re skating together towards where the  Coaches are. Yuuri only has morning classes like these on weekends, since he mostly uses the rink alone with Celestino during the afternoons, to practice his magic, and he’s changed his rink from last year, so he’s still a bit unfamiliar with the rest of the adults there. That means nothing when it comes to Luke, though, he practically lives here.

Yuuri met Luke last year, at the open ice rink during Christmas, and Luke told him he had talent.

“He was scared of you at the beginning,” Yuuko pipes in, happily coming to a stop in front of them. She’s the reason Yuuri changed rinks this year, to one further away from his home, which he has to Floo to. It’s close to Minako’s, though, so he makes the trip count.

“He couldn’t be,” Luke gasps, “I’m so undeniably pleasant.”

He smiles at Yuuri as he says so, taking a moment to rub his shoulders in a friendly way, the same kind of ‘big brother’ affection he loves showering Yuuri in, and his blue eyes shine.

For a moment, Yuuri can’t breathe properly.

“Come on, Yuuri,” Yuuko grabs his hand, “We have to practice together! That’s why we’re rinkmates. You can try holding me up.”

“Yuuko, that’s dangerous - “

“Gotta go, bye!”

Honestly? She’s just saved him from completely humiliating himself by trying to speak to Luke normally. It’s basically impossible.

…

Yuuri is um, he’s pretty sure he kinda, um… he kinda likes Luke.

It’s not a big deal! And it’s not like Yuuri is like, totally lusting after him or falling in love with him, either. Luke is just really handsome, and nice, and smiles a lot, and holds his hand when he trips on ice, and says his skating is good, and -

Well. Luke is um. He’s a cool guy, okay? Anyone would have a small crush on him, he’s got that special charm that makes people flock to him like birds. Mari teases him about it all the time, to his absolute horror. Whenever she comes pick him up at the ice rink she makes a show out of calling out Luke’s name, asking how Yuuri’s done, and smiling blindingly the whole way through, ecstatic.

“I hate you so much,” Yuuri groans as they exit the place, burying his face in his hands. “Why can’t you let me be?”

“Oh, was I bothering you two?” Mari presses the back of her palm against her forehead, mock-ashamed. “I never meant to interrupt your romantic encounters. But you can’t blame me, the last time you had a crush was on that one girl who lives across the street.”

“He’s like, your age,” Yuuri whines, pushing her so that she moves quickly. He’s almost certain Luke can’t hear them, but it’s better to make sure. Just in case. “And I don’t like him!”

His sister hums noncommittally, “Yes, of course. Whatever helps you sleep at night, Yuuri.” She smirks, “Or whatever helps you at night, even if you don’t actually sleep.”

“Oh my god - I can’t believe - I am going to murder you -” His cheeks are flaming red. Did she just imply…?

Mari holds her hands up, “You’re almost fourteen, little bro, I wasn’t born yesterday.”

Yuuri glares at her, hoping his blush isn’t as noticeable as he thinks, “Well, you tease like a two-year-old, so it’s an easy mistake.”

“Oi!” she punches him in the arm lightly, cackling when he yelps. “No badmouthing your sister because you get hot over an older guy!”

“Please kill me,” Yuuri begs to no one in particular.

Of course, Phichit’s reaction to the “news” (Yuuri awkwardly mumbling, “I think I have a crush on a guy at my ice rink.” during one of their nightly Skype calls, feeling like his heart’s about to burst out of his chest) is much different, and almost endearingly Phichit-like.

First, he tells Yuuri that under no circumstances is he to try to date the guy, as if.

“He is much older than you, Yuuri!” he waggles his finger threateningly on his laptop’s screen. “And a guy who hasn’t already asked you out on a date after seeing you in your ice skating glory doesn’t deserve you, anyway. Besides,” he seems especially insistent in this part, “I think you already have some very, very dateable people around you. You don’t need this boy.”

“I’m not going to date him,” Yuuri whispers harshly, checking around to make sure his parents haven’t woken up. No sound from their bedroom. “I was just telling you because it’s been driving me mad. Now that I’ve actually told someone, I can forget him!”

“Oh, no,” Phichit smiles, “You ain’t forgetting Luke Matthews anytime soon, buddy, but well. He’s your type, isn’t he? Gorgeous blond hair, endless blue eyes, smooth pale skin, and that smile, dear lord.”

Yuuri’s eyes widen, “Phichit, how do you know what he looks like?”

“How do you think?” he raises an eyebrow. “I just followed him on Instagram, obviously.”

“Phichit, unfollow him right now or I swear I will cut off your wifi.”

His friend winks, “We’re not in Hogwarts, my dear Yuuri.” He laughs at Yuuri’s dismayed expression of realization, and settles back in his chair, his smile widening. Phichit’s gotten a haircut recently, a nice one that makes his eyes stand out more. “How’s the summer coming along otherwise, cute boy notwithstanding?”

Yuuri bites his lower lip in thought, running his fingers through his hair, “Um. I’m getting more and more into skating, actually. I might be able to do a proper competition jump soon, other than waddling through my Salchow. Yuri’s been hinting at wanting to try my mom’s katsudon, so I’m probably gonna invite him over sometime soon.” He thinks about it, “Might invite Victor, too, while I’m at it.”

“Oh yeah, you do that.” Phichit nods, and then he lets out a small laugh, “Don’t tell him about Luke, though.”

“I wasn’t going to,” Yuuri rolls his eyes, “I’m not that stupid, you know, I’d already figured he might be jealous.”

His friend stares at him, mouth hanging open, “You had? Um, w-when?”

“Like, the first day?” Yuuri sighs. “Victor’s really nitpicky about anyone teaching me figure skating, he gets all petty every time Yuuko helps me with anything. Do you think I’d tell him about an older guy with more experience giving me lessons?”

For some reason, Phichit looks almost like he’s about to laugh again, his eyes twinkling, but he just says, giggling, “Yes, I’m pretty sure Victor would object to an experienced guy giving you private lessons, Yuuri.”

He crosses his arms over his chest, huffing at his friend, “Honestly, you treat me like I’m so dumb. Obviously I’d realized Victor is a protective teacher.”

“Very protective teacher,” Phichit agrees, smirking suspiciously.

…

yuuri katsucky (because you SUCK)

i dont know what u wanted me to do. like. do u want to like. poison the food or smth. i dont care tbh. im going to ur house anyway bc im invincible. so fuck u who cares tbh

nikiforov says hes going too but meh.  whatever

Yuri always writes such nice things.

Knowing that both Yuri and Victor are coming means that Yuuri spends the day before their arrival cleaning every corner of the house, meticulously making sure his parents don’t leave anything...incriminating (like the one teen Witches’ Fave Hottie: Victor Nikiforov! poster he bought because he was curious) around, and peering over their shoulders as they cook and wrinkling his nose if they put their feet on the table.

“Seriously, you’d think you were the adult,” his mother mutters, ruffling his hair while he works on his summer homework. His parents make him see a tutor to keep him updated on muggle school work, in case he doesn’t want to work in the wizarding world. Mom still thinks that the fact that they don’t study biology at Hogwarts is a crime against humanity.

He’s still fretting, fixing his clothes, the moment he hears the doorbell ring.

The first thing that Yuuri thinks when he opens the door, smiling, calling out to his parents, “They’re here!”, and sees the two Slytherins waiting outside for him is that, no matter how much he sometimes feels like Celestino is working him to death, it’s nothing compared to Feltsman.

It’s less noticeable in Yuri, who’s grumbling, wearing respectable clothes for once (although his earrings are tiger claws, of course), because the boy still looks almost eerily like a fairy, lean and skinny in a way that suggests elegant rather than ‘awkward’. But it’s undeniable the second he glances at Victor.

Victor babbled about ‘starting to really train’ for Junior Worlds after he came clean to Yuuri regarding it, delighting him with schedules upon schedules of what he had to do this summer to get up to bar in order to compete internationally. He even confessed that he may not write as many letters, with all the stuff he had to do, apologizing profusely. So Yuuri was expecting him to gain a little muscle and all but, um. They haven’t seen each other in almost two months, and the change is just a little bit striking.

His hair’s longer, almost reaching down to his back now, but he’s got it on the side, tied up in a stylish ponytail. Apart from that, all the differences are the fact that Yuuri’s pretty sure Victor’s grown at least ten centimeters since he last saw him, which finally cements his position as ‘the short friend’, something he’s been able to avoid with Phichit, thankfully. He also just seems more filled out; his shoulders are a bit further apart, his face is slightly skinnier, and he stands with more confidence, balancing his weight like he’s making an entrance.

“Hey, Yuuri,” Victor says, smiling.

He reminds Yuuri, just slightly, of Luke.

“Your voice is deeper,” he blurts out automatically, even though it’s not that big of a change, after taking in the rest. He flushes, embarrassed, and doesn’t meet his eyes, “Oh, sorry, uh, come in, you two, we’re expecting you!”

Yuri rolls his eyes, “Always collected, Huffle.”

Yuuri pokes his nose as he goes by, laughing at his infuriated yelp, “It’s good to see you, Yuri.”

“Don’t steal any paintings,” Victor tells him cheerfully, which makes him glower so bad that Yuuri’s kind of impressed he doesn’t back down. He turns to look at Yuuri again, “How have you been?” Victor bites his lip and fidgets with his hands, glancing at him from between his eyelashes, “I’m really sorry I haven’t been able to write much recently, Yakov’s been running me down.”

“Um,” Yuuri swallows. Were his eyelashes really that long before? “Oh, um, it’s fine. You already told me about it, you know.” He smiles back at him,“It’s really good to see you, Victor. Love the hair.”

His friend flushes, “Y-yes, I thought so, too.”

For a moment, they just kind of stand there, in silence, not really knowing what to say. Yuuri wants to tell him to come in again, wants to ask how Chris and Georgi are doing, wants  to  reach out and touch him, like he always does.

Except… he doesn’t.

“Yuuri?” his mom’s voice, coming from the kitchen, interrupts his train of thought. He startles, turning back. “Don’t leave your friend at the door, it’s rude.”

“Sorry, mom,” he mumbles, chastised. “Oh, so, you have to take your shoes off, see…”

…

Yuri and Victor meeting his parents goes extraordinarily well. Yuuri was slightly worried that Victor would say something accidentally offensive (one can never be sure with purebloods. Phichit, in his search for knowledge, innocently asked Yuuri when they were 11 if muggles took showers, too.), or that Yuri would burn the house down or something (one can never be sure with Yuri Plisetsky), but they come out of it mostly unscathed.

“So, Victor,” his mom sets down her fork and looks at his friend, smiling. “Yuuri has been telling us about you since forever. It would be truly nice to see you figure skate.”

Victor preens, leaning back in his chair before answering, turning on the ‘pureblood charm’. It’s a term that Leo and Yuuri made up after spending so much of their time around old, rich purebloods: however ridiculously awkward they may seem around their friends, regardless of their gross quirks and hand gestures, they turn into something like wizarding debutantes in the presence of any respectable adult, channeling thousands of gala nights into perfect table manners, unbelievable skilled public speaking and just the right amount of compliments.

Yuuri thinks it’s kind of silly, but undeniably useful for some situations. Leo calls it “Phichit trying not to seem Phichit”. Yuri has another name for it: “pretentious pampering”.

“Well, Mrs. Katsuki,” Victor closes his eyes briefly, beaming at her, “I’m sure that Yuuri has exaggerated my abilities. You see, he’s a very biased friend, although I do appreciate it.”

His mom smiles, “Oh, you’re so well-spoken, what a treasure.”

Yuri, who’s said a total of 10 words during the duration of the meal and is currently shoving katsudon into his mouth as quickly as possible, snorts.

After lunch, when they’re helping clean up the kitchen, Yuuri moves next to Victor, murmuring, “You don’t have to do that, you know.”

His friend cocks his head at him, furrowing his brow in confusion, “Do what?”

“Go all ‘look at me, I’m respectable’ on my parents,” Yuuri shrugs. “They don’t care, really. Phichit never goes pureblood mode on them. And, um,” he flushes, scratching the back of his neck, “They’re going to like you anyway, with all the stuff I’ve told them about you. I’m pretty sure my parents are convinced that you and Phichit save me from hordes of bullies every minute I’m in school.”

“I would,” Victor says immediately, as if on reflex, and then freezes, “I mean, we would.” He licks his lips, glancing downwards, “I didn’t mean to um, go ‘pureblood mode’, or whatever.”

“I’m used to it,” he smiles. He steps a little bit closer, mindful that no one hears them, just enough that their feet are almost touching in the narrow kitchen. It’s a little harder to breathe. “But you can be yourself with me, okay?”

Victor’s eyes flutter shut, before he whispers, quiet, “You’re an evil, evil guy, Yuuri Katsuki.”

…

Victor has to leave early (something about the amount of hours he has to sleep while on ‘Yakov’s training regime from hell’), but Yuri’s allowed to stay a little longer. Mari pats him for a while and challenges him to a selfie match of death (the theme is ‘who can balance more things on their nose while taking a selfie at the same time’, and it ends with them breaking five ceramic bowls and Yuri’s shoe on Mari’s face), and after a while both Yuri and Yuuri go upstairs, letting the adults watch a film. Something about a stone, a three-headed dog and a giant chess game. Honestly, Warners Bros are running out of ideas.

“Katsuki,” Yuri begins, flopping down on his bed and narrowing his eyes at him. “If you even think trying to make me play a board game, I’ll murder you.”

From where he’s kneeling down next to his bookshelf, Yuuri quickly lets go of the Monopoly box, “O-of course I wouldn’t do that, haha.”

Yuri huffs, stretching out on the bed like a cat and sighing, “I should have just gone home. You’re a mess, like always.”

“Well;” Yuuri swallows, moving to sit on his desk chair. “What do you want to do, then?”

“Sleep. Wake up and find out moderate maiming is legal and encouraged. Maybe eat pizza.”

“You just had like, three katsudon bowls!”

Yuuri hisses, “I don’t need you and your judging in my life.”

He holds his hands up, admitting defeat, “Okay, okay.” Yuuri giggles, “You’re cute when you’re excited about things, you know.”

The younger boy glares at him, showing his teeth, “I am not cute.”

“Oh yeah?” Yuuri teases, dragging his chair so it’s closer to the bed. “What about when you spent three hours telling me about the cat shelter that had opened up next to your house?”

Yuri’s ears go bright red, “I was not excited, you degenerate, I was merely moderately pleased that the human race has finally accepted cats as superior beings and are providing for their needs cost-free.”

“Or when you made me rewatch Otabek Altin’s catching the snitch ten times in the match against Portugal? With added commentary? And flaschards?”

The Slytherin throws a pillow at him, “It was twenty centimeters away, Katsuki. Learn to appreciate gods on Earth.”

Yuuri just laughs.

…

Hey Victor,

Thanks so much for sending me a book like you mentioned when you came over last week. I just thought that the book we talked about was one on magical creatures (remember? I mentioned I was struggling with the utter hell that is learning that so many stuff I thought didn’t exist is actually real?) and not your copy of Bridget Jones’s Diary.

Still loved it, though.

Yuuri

…

YUURI

OH MY GOD I’M SORRY

IT’S MY SUMMER READ OKAY THE MUGGLE STUDIES TEACHER MADE US READ ONE OF THESE LITTLE SHITS IT’S NOT LIKE I WAS READING IT BECAUSE I LIKED IT OR ANYTHING OKAY

SENDING YOU THE RIGHT BOOK WITH THIS LETTER

FML

VICTOR

…

“Hey,” Luke’s voice so close to him makes him look up, startled. The older skater is standing next to him, smiling cheerfully. He adjusts his beanie before patting him on the shoulder, “So, you’re leaving, are you, big boy?”

Yuuri flushes, not meeting his eyes. It’s his last figure skating lesson before he goes to Hogwarts for the school year, and he won’t be coming back until the summer. “Yeah, boarding school.”

“Ah, boarding school,” Luke muses. He bites his lower lip, glancing around them for a few seconds. He seems nervous. “Um, before you left, I wanted to ask you something.”

Yuuri nods, itching to get on the ice and start practicing, “Sure.”

Luke blurts out, “I was kind of hoping I could get your sister’s number.”

Yuuri freezes.

Oh.

Oh.

So that’s why he was so friendly, he realizes, with an almost disturbing calmness. Luke’s waiting for an answer, cheeks red, scratching the back of his neck. He looks just as embarrassed as Yuuri feels by this conversation, although for very different reasons. Luke probably didn’t even guess that Yuuri sorta has a crush on him. He swallows, “You like my sister?”

“...yeah,” Luke mumbles, staring at his feet. “I know it’s super weird, to go around asking her little brother, but I didn’t realize you wouldn’t be coming anymore, and I hadn’t gotten up the courage to ask her, so I was just hoping - I’m sorry, this is terrible.”

Despite himself, Yuuri lets out a short giggle, “Yeah, a little.” He takes a deep breath, ignoring the slight pang in his chest. “But I’ll give you her number anyway.”

Luke beams at him, throwing an arm around his shoulders and rubbing their cheeks together in excitement, “That’s my boy!”

It still makes Yuuri feel slightly lightheaded, having him so close, touching. And yet, there’s many things Yuuri can deal with, but crushing on a guy who would like to date his sister is not one of them. He’s ordering Phichit to unfollow him on all social media and erasing him from his memory.

“Yep,” he mutters. “That’s me.”

He reconsiders. Phichit would probably get angry on Yuuri’s behalf, even if it was more of a hero-worship crush than anything else, and make a big deal out of it. He’ll tell Victor, instead, he decides. Just omit the part where he’s a skater and everything will be fine.

…

“Mom,” Victor says, in a very quiet, very controlled voice. She looks up from the book she’s reading, blinking. Her son is holding a letter, one of those that come with puppies stickers on the front and Yuuri Katsuki’s signature on the bottom. “Have you ever wanted to murder someone?”

fin