#okay sorry i got real ranty today but lol

[majormeilani]

and like i said before, i don't think **MOST** callout posts and shit's ever really necessary or tells you about a person bc they often don't consider both perspectives and can nitpick and cherry pick evidence and shit

i think it's important to seek both sides of a situation before truly making an assumption about a person. you can still hold onto your initial biases of a person and that may still shape how you comprehend information about them further obv or you can change your opinion.

i don't like callout culture esp bc it's usually brewed by a falling out with someone and unresolved feelings and those come out in a hateful, attacking manner, which the accuser/s will omit their own faults in an accusation in order to paint the person they're calling out in a negative light. also, often they don't show evidence of them clearly expressing their discomfort when it was first felt, which i can totally get like not wanting to upset someone initially but if a friendship or relationship is healthy then you should be able to tell one another about comfort levels and respect them. always set clear boundaries if you intend to maintain a relationship otherwise people will cross them, and i totally get that being hard to do!! but if you want to protect yourself, nip shit in the bud if it makes you uncomfortable. and by that i mean literally give the person one *clear* warning and if they continue then either leave or break ties. like you can say "hey, i don't like when you makes jokes about ____, it hurts my feelings/makes me uncomfortable, can you please stop?" and that's just enough for a warning!! being passive aggressive and attempting to imply things to people doesn't always work well, i promise you. don't use memes, emoticons or anything like that to tell someone how you're SERIOUSLY feeling. use words and be clear!!!! people misinterpret things like you wouldn't believe. i know it's hard, it's painful, but you'll be better off and won't risk yourself any unnecessary heartache. and obv if you intend on keeping a relationship, my god, be respectful about expressing your opinions too. some people make the mistake of being too harsh but there's ways to go about expressing your feelings without attacking someone over miscommunication.

also, i tired of seeing things that lack context that could mean anything, from jokes, to quotes of a show/movie/ect. i get that some things people say make people uncomfortable and people have every right to feel how they want to but i want people to give more context about what might have sparked the person they're accusing to say something like that. were you two joking around and then things started to hurt your feelings? were they venting their problems to you? or were they doing things to personally attack you? did they know what they were saying made you uncomfortable? did they acknowledge your discomfort prior to the exchange?

another thing about a callout post is don't put in petty shit or things without evidence that you can prove it's honestly annoying for someone to be like "also they drew something i didn't personally like" like i'm sorry but how does this pertain to you accusing them of being gross? unless the drawing is of something like what you're calling them out for then leave that shit out it's not necessary.

i'm not saying you have to hold onto gross, toxic people nor am i ever implying they're innocent or you need to forgive them but rather i want to see hard evidence that is undeniable and true. i want to know both sides of the situation before i make my opinion solid about them. bc there are too many occasions where people try to villify someone without giving them a chance to grow or change or prove themselves to be a better person. also, callout culture kinda disgusts me in how people will essentially stalk a person and look for any reason to villify someone for no reason other than to make them suffer for the accuser still being hurt.

i think a lot of callout posts are just a compilation of people having feelings that are hurt and wanting to be heard and that's valid asf. but i really think some of you guys misunderstand the impact of what you're saying sometimes and don't realize what it means.

all of this of course is different when the person accused has numerous accounts of repeated behavior or continues to deny everything or acts like they never did the things they're accused of. but there are too many instances where i see a callout post, read the evidence they have and then check the person they're accusing and they'll have like an apology where it'll say something like they didn't know they were crossing a line until the callout post was made or they will share what happened to them and ect. obv this doesn't make the person accused innocent like no absolutely not but i also think it makes the callout post lose some credibility too. like yeah i'd like to think we all are capable of understanding each other and our boundaries but sadly that's not the case. but we as human beings have the ability to communicate our problems and sometimes even work them out.

tldr

basically to sum this all up, i'm always skeptical about callout posts upon initial sighting given some of these circumstances. i understand not every case is like this but my initial thoughts on seeing one are this. context, context, context! is esp utmost importance. also communication is so v important. also, i'm not talking about people who abuse others and shit that's a whole complicated other level but i think people should consider these things esp when gathering evidence for situations like that. and to protect victims from further hurt a lot of this is good to consider, i think.