#okay so maybe I should clarify a bit here that yes I am aware that there are still kids spaces online

[puddingvalkyrie]

It's May Soon

  “I can’t believe it’s May soon.” Will looked up suddenly from his book.

  “Oh. Yes, I suppose it is?” Tyrian looked up from his bedside desk, where he’d been scribbling down some plot ideas, and the odd actual policy that was his actual job. It was Lumtide here. Fairies had been much more aware of what month it was on Earth before the lock out – there were traditions to keep up, after all - but not so much any more. Some still kept up the practice of riding out on Midsummer’s Eve and Samhain, but it was never a yearly thing.

  “Can’t believe it’s been a year.” Will looked up at the ceiling, but he was staring into nothing.

 “I’d say what a year it’s been, but...” If Tyrian weighed it up, more good things than bad had happened - a net gain, you could say - but the bad things had been SO very bad, after all.

  “My contract will be up soon.”

  Tyrian’s quill left a crooked line and an ink blot across the page as the king’s hand tensed, quite ruining a nice little sketch of an emblem he’d been working on for the school. “Oh. Yes. So it will.”

  “I’ll have to think about that...” The jester tapped his fingers on his book as he thought aloud. “It’s probably too late to apply for uni... But I might just about get away with it, and clearing is a thing...”

  So. Will was going to leave, after all. He’d known this day was coming. Will had come to Fairyland for a gap year. A YEAR. And now that year was almost over...

  Tyrian got up, carefully placing his quill on the desk, and turned abruptly towards the door. “I’m going to get a drink.”

  “Are you thirsty...?” Will asked. “I’m good? I’ve been safe for a week.”

  “Not blood, just water.” Tyrian clarified. “Maybe some coffee.”

  “You’re not supposed to have caffeine this late at night, you know,” Will cautioned him. “I guess I have no idea if bumblebean coffee actually has any in, come to think of it. I don’t suppose you know?”

 “I am not entirely sure what caffeine is, Will.” Some sort of magical component that Earth plants still had somehow, from what he could tell. “Do you want anything?”

 “No thanks.” Good. “Are you okay?” Not good.

  “I just have a bit of a headache. Shouldn’t draw with my nose to close to the parchment, probably. I might be dehydrated.”

  “Okay...”

Tyrian went down to the kitchens. No-one would be there at this time of night. Maybe Louis, getting a midnight snack. It wouldn’t be so bad to see Louis right now. He could use someone to talk to... Then again... No. NOT Louis. Louis would take this PERSONALLY.

  He got himself a cup of water and sprinkled some dried camomile in it, too distracted to find a sieve. He wondered how long he could stay here without arousing suspicion. He waited a minute or two and took a sip. Terrible.

  Ah. Right. The water was supposed to be HOT.

  He’d never tried heating water before, but he knew how to freeze it. Could he just do that in reverse? He put his hand over the top of the cup and tried to imagine channelling fire into it. He left it there for a few seconds. The cup split; the water ran across the table and dripped onto his lap. It was still cold. There was a black ring on the table where the cup had stood. He’d have to apologise to Babs in the morning. He pursed his lips. No, that wouldn’t do. He’d made the mess, he would fix it. And if nothing else, it was a good excuse.

 ‘I broke a cup and had to clean it up, that’s why I took so long,’ he rehearsed in his head. It took him some time to find which cupboard the cloths were in – right before he noticed one on a sink – but he mopped up the water and scrubbed at the black mark on the table. It wouldn’t come off. He was cursing under his breath when he suddenly felt a presence behind him.

  “Will said something’s wrong, but you don’t want to talk to him about it, so I should have a go.” Aurelia looked askance at the cloth, before noticing the burn mark. “What did you do?”

  “Chamomile is supposed to be soothing, so I was trying to make an infusion,” Tyrian explained, pouting. “I was in a hurry so I wouldn’t look suspicious, but... Well.” He rinsed the cloth in the sink and hung it over the side. He filled a small, leather cauldron and set a fire. Aurelia merely sat herself at the long dining table, waiting.

  He sat opposite her with a sigh. “Will’s contract is almost up.”

  Aurelia tilted her head to one side. “And?”

  “And he said something about going to university.”

 “And?”

  “And so he’s leaving soon!” Tyrian leaned on the table, putting his head on his arms. “I don’t want him to leave! But he SHOULD leave! He should be free, like the little bird he is!”

  “I don’t think Will is a bird,” Aurelia mused. “Some kind of ferret, maybe.”

  “Doesn’t really change my point,” Tyrian mumbled into the table. Moving his head so she could hear him properly again, he continued, “I knew this day was coming. But I don’t want him to leave. But he loves travelling. I don’t want to be like Rosa.”

  “Rosa?” Aurelia frowned.

  “Ex-girlfriend of his,” Tyrian explained. “She didn’t want him to go travelling, so they split up.”

 “Sensible.” Aurelia nodded approvingly. “And... You’ve talked to Will about it, have you?”

 “I hadn’t thought about it until he mentioned it, what, thirty minutes ago?” Tyrian waved a hand. “I mean, I had, briefly, but I always pushed it away. I didn’t want to think about that on top of everything else.”

  “Do you not think you’re jumping to conclusions?” Aurelia suggested. “Why are you avoiding asking him about it?”

  “I don’t... I don’t think I can without... without... sounding manipulative, or, or, something.” Tyrian sat up and forced himself to sit straight, clenching his hands on his lap. “He must make his own decision. If I let him know how sad I am about it...”

  “Communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship, is what I’m saying here,” Aurelia pointed out. “I get where you’re coming from. But... and this is my professional opinion as your ex-fool... you’re being dumb.”

  “I’m not being dumb, I’m being... considerate!” Tyrian protested.

  “Tyrian.” Aurelia took him by the shoulders. “You are being dumb. You are practically walking into one of those Earth stories where someone says something vague and there’s a WHOLE THING that could be solved in two minutes if two people would just frikking talk to one another. We are not doing that, do you hear me? And that’s both an earnest request from your wife, and an ‘I will kill you if you make this worse’ from your best friend. Got it?”

  “I’m not ready!” Tyrian blinked back tears. “I’m just not ready to talk about it!”

  The yokai stood up and marched around the table. “Tyrian. C’mere.” She reached out and pulled him into a hug, leaning her head on top of his and running her fingers through his hair. “I really don’t think Will is going anywhere,” she soothed. “If he is, he’ll be back. You know he loves Fairyland. You know he loves us.” She paused. “Okay, maybe not Louis. But he definitely loves you.” Aurelia managed to sit on the bench, and still cradling his head, they stayed there for a while.

  “Aurelia...”

  “Hmm?”

  “...Why did you quit being my fool? It’s... it’s always bothered me.”

  “I overheard your granddad saying you’d suck at being king, and I was hopping mad.” Aurelia shrugged.

  “That... that’s it? That’s the reason?”

  “I mean. I sort of agreed with him,” Aurelia admitted. “In a way. You can be irresponsible. You avoid things and you get like this and you let it affect your work.”

  “Oh.”

  “Yeah.” She leaned down and kissed his forehead. “Don’t get me wrong. We’d much rather have you than him. Much rather. You just need someone to balance you out. Everyone does.”

  “Is that why you married me?”

  “Yes? I thought you understood that already. I wasn’t going to marry for love, was I? Not the romantic kind, anyway. Really feel like I’ve dodged a bullet there.”

  “Watching my train wreck of a love life is enough to put anyone off, aromantic or not,” Tyrian remarked.

  “If you’re making jokes, you’re probably okay to go back to bed.” Aurelia let him go and stretched. “You should. Will will be worried. And what are we going to do when we get back to the bedroom?”

  “I’ve got a few answers, none of which are the one you’re looking for,” Tyrian replied.

  “Tyrian.” She gave him a Look.

  “I’m just not ready.” He rubbed an arm. “Just... Give me a little more time. To process it.”

  “You don’t know what you’re processing,” the yokai chided. “You’re going to worry over nothing and you’re going to make Will worry over nothing.”

  “I’m not saying the whole month, just a few days... A week, at the most.”

  Aurelia clicked her tongue. “If you insist. But if you don’t have a proper conversation with him by then, I’m dragging you both in a room and making you do it, like I did with Victor and Lucinda.”

  “Alright.” Tyrian blinked. “Wait, you did WHAT?”

The time limit was almost up. Tyrian was in the throne room, anxiously awaiting for the consultation hours to end. It had been quiet today. Aurelia took a lot of these things, and she was so much better at dealing with nonsense than he was. The problematic nobles had realised they weren’t going to get anywhere and had given up, leaving more time for the actual problems to get addressed. Speaking of addressing problems, in came Will.

  ‘This is it,’ Tyrian told himself sternly. ‘You are going to have a sensible, grown up conversation with your grown up boyfriend, and he is going to leave happy with no regrets over his decision, whatever it may be, and you’re not going to cry.’

  “So I think today is the last legal day I can renegotiate my contract,” Will started as he approached the throne. “I know you probably don’t really care, but Fairyland and all, and I should stick to the rules.”

  “Mmhmm.” Tyrian responded.

  “So, I think we should just rip it up, to be honest? Like, not renew it.”

  Tyrian just nodded.

  “I feel like the cat’s out of the bag on our relationship now, and I’m living here for free anyway... I think I’d rather earn stuff outside the palace like everyone else. Bartering, washing dishes, etc.”

  “In...deed??”

  “Like, I guess we should probably find some kind of title for me that’s not fool, but I think I’ll keep wearing the stripes if it’s okay, it’s a great deterrent.”

  “I thought you were going to university?” Tyrian asked.

  “I mean... I still might, but I can’t decide what’s best to do. I thought maybe I should take tourism to help you with the tourism thing here, but Earth tourism is going to be pretty different than Fairyland tourism BUT tourism can actually be really bad for places, so maybe I SHOULD study it to avoid that... but then I’d have a student debt to deal with, and I can’t really be bothered to lie to the government about where I’m living for the rest of my-”

  “Will,” Tyrian cut him off.

  “Yeah, sorry, what?”

  “You’re not leaving, then?”

  “No? Unless you need me to?” Will frowned. “I guess I can keep being a fool if it’s politically more convenient?? I just kind of feel like it’s ridiculous to pay me for doing what I’d happily do for free. And I might kind of need to get a part time job on Earth for a bit. But I was hoping I could live here and just commute. What with Hel’s Map and all.”

  “Commute?”

  “Yeah? Oh. It means travel from here to a job or school somewhere else.”

  “Ah. Yes. So... You were planning to... commute... to university from here?”

  “Yeah. It would save me a lot of money and there’s still a bunch of stuff you need help with here, the magic school and all.” Will rubbed his neck. “I kinda might decide against university for the reasons I mentioned, but, I should at least study online instead or something if I don’t go to uni, but I need Earth money for that, hence the part time job... Is that... okay?”

  “Of course it is.” Tyrian slumped on the throne, very nearly sliding off the thing. “I thought you were going to leave once your contract was up?”

  “Well, that was the plan, originally... but, well, plans change?” Will smiled awkwardly. His smile turned to a frown as he studied Tyrian’s face. “Did you think I was just going to leave? Like, leave leave??”

  “Yes,” Tyrian admitted. “It’s been a... rough year.”

   “Yeah...” Will agreed. “You can say that again. Thing is, when I got here, it was something to tick off my bucket list. I mean, it was THE thing. The main thing. Everything I did for years was to set me up to come here to Fairyland. But I had no idea what I was gonna do afterwards.”

  “And now you do?” Tyrian prompted.

  “I don’t know exactly, but I know I don’t want to leave,” Will reassured him. “The idea that I could stay... it just didn’t occur to me.” He laughed. “I’m still in shock I got through the first day. Imagine, just turning up somewhere thinking you’re funny enough to get a job as a professional funny person, just, like, on the spot. The nerve of me, really. Don’t know how I got away with it.”

  “You were cute and charming  and you stood up for yourself and you spouted some wonderful nonsense and I thought someone was setting me up,” Tyrian replied.

  “You did?”

  “Oh, absolutely. I had to check with Aurelia.”

  “Did you... check with Aurelia that night you suddenly starting acting weird?”

  “She said I was being stupid and I should talk you like a normal person and she was 100% correct.”

  “I seriously thought both of you might eat me, my first day.”

  “You still came back the second day.”

  “I’m not easily deterred.” Will walked up onto the dias to hold Tyrian’s hand. “Try thinking about that, next time you think I’ll leave.”

  “I don’t really want to think about all the bad things that have happened to you this year,” Tyrian protested. “But I know what you mean.” He leaned over to touch his forehead to Will’s.

  “...You gonna stay on there all day?” Will asked. “Consultation hours are over. Let’s get out of here. Drusilla’s tea house?”

  “Drusilla’s tea house.” Tyrian agreed.

They walked out hand in hand.

---

I don't think I have the energy for comics but this is okay, I hope.

I haven't written anything focusing on Tyr and Will in a while and I miss them so here you go.

Originally Will was supposed to leave after his contract was up.

But Will does what Will wants, so yeah, he's not going anywhere, not for long, anyway.

[goobernormieomi]

i hope it’s okay to ask for advice and stuff, i wanted to ask you since it seemed like something you can probably answer!! if not that’s okay but ty a lot

i recently got into a new relationship after like 2 years now and everything is pretty alright with my partner but i’ve noticed for a while now that i’m kinda on the aroace spectrum and the aro side of me is significant in this topic. i rarely feel any feelings of romance or anything or it’s at least rare for me and i’m starting to think that maybe it’s always been like this for me and i’m just realizing it. and to clarify, i have in fact communicated this w/ my partner and he doesn’t mind at all and will happily be the more romantic one :’)

i feel like what i wanna ask specifically, if it’s not personal at all, is how do you make sure your partner knows they’re loved and satisfied? i’ve almost been a bit self conscious about it, and it’s kinda hard to accept that i’m not really a romantic partner and all, and i feel i just really need some tips or advice or any thoughts that can maybe help bc i rlly want to be the best partner i can be, i also want to stop questioning myself with this, at least not as much, and finally feel comfortable about being in a relationship again. and yes, i’m very aware that love comes in many different ways which is the most important thing, and despite having a hard time w/ romance itself i still love my partner more than words can even say and i want to make this work for as long as possible and i wanna keep him happy and shower him with love <3

happy pride month to you and your gf btw!!

sorry this took so long for me to reply to! I had lots of stuff going on but I’m free at the moment and have time so I thought I’d reply to this

firstly, be true to yourself and don’t apologize for it! not being as affectionately romantic doesn’t mean you can’t express love in different ways that might be more comfortable to you! Personally despite being an aroace I am a pretty romantic person (I blame all the fanfics I’ve read they’ve prepared me for this) so I can’t say from experience how it is but I can imagine it is difficult to express something you might not be 100% comfortable and used to expressing, so heres my advice personally

Use gift giving as a way to be romantic, draw, make small paper things, buy him things, all that type of stuff! Hell give him cool rocks you find on the road, thats so you can feel like you’re doing plenty for the other person, but! That being said though, don’t overextend yourself either

communication will always be key for a relationship, practice it heavily with your partner, and learn to listen and trust your partners word as well, if he says that he is fine being the most romantic one from the two of you then you should trust him on it! If he had an issue, let him know he can communicate that with you, and be sure to listen and assure him on what he feels, he should know that if he wants or needs something from you, he should ask! Otherwise you won’t know

thats my best advice really! Don’t feel bad for asking or anything I understand the confusion you might feel and all, I am sorry for how late I’m posting this but I had to think about it and also had things to attend to, I hope you can still read this and find some answers from it!

[hmspogue]

Outer Banks season 2 Official Trailer shot-by-shot rundown

A comprehensive post where I scream about analyze the entire trailer frame by frame for clues, theories, and plot. Just my own opinions and general tin foil-hatting

These are screenshots from Netflix’s trailer for Outer Banks season 2. I do not claim or own any of these.

note: this post is tagged as a long post if you wish to avoid having to scroll until your thumbs break.

“My old man used to tell me, ‘it’s best to never say you’ve hit rock bottom’.”

(Putting all of these shots together since they’re scenes we already know but-) Holy shit, okay let’s just....start off like this I guess, damn.

“'Trust me’, he said...”

Kiara looking back and forth between the boys like this really just feeds the headcanon I have that her form of grief this season is going to be her trying to hold it together for their sakes (and eventually just snapping).

JJ just looks fucking furious someone give these kids a hug? I already know this scene is going to ruin me.

“You can always go...”

JJ back working at the hotel. He looks literally so angry again in this scene I could see him self destructing at work and losing his job? (Please do not be isolating yourself you beautiful son of a bitch even though I know you’re going to).

Pope in the Twinkie (costuming wise they all are in warmer looking clothes for some of the shots, so just confirming it’s a little bit into the school year when this all takes place).

“Lower”

Big John was real big into pep talks, I see. (seriously can you imagine Big John having this conversation with like 8 year old John B after he fucking dropped his ice cream cone or some shit I shouldn’t be laughing).

I’m just-

These poor kids, I wanna know how the police all the way down in the Bahama’s knew about them?

Their calves....

“RUN!”

Are going to be so fucking jacked by the end of this season I stg.

Fuck you.

“The gold from the Royal Merchant....it’s here.”

For a while, I had thought that maybe they didn’t even make it to the Bahama’s at the front of the season and ended there (because everyone had been filming in there). But I guess they’re going to be making two trips.

If I were a bird from this POV I’d shit right on that house no questions asked.

oooooh ho hokay. Just so we’re clear. Ward Cameron not only get away with murder and about two dozen other felonies, but-

“Half a billion.”

HE STILL FINDS THE GOLD IN THE CRAIN HOUSE AND GETS TO KEEP IT?

Not the polo with the snap back, I just know this man has a playlist called Sad Boi Hours that is just Juice WRLD’s top 5 songs on Spotify and he tells his friends they wouldn’t know the underground artists he listens to.

Sh, you have lost screaming privileges. Go inside and take a nap maybe.

“John B, we are fugitives in a foreign country.”

So, previously, I was talking about how I was confused how they would still be trying to find him is everyone thought he was dead, but here the wanted poster clearly says “presumed lost at sea”. I think that will be interesting to see how the Pogues all interpret that. 

Especially because they already had a memorial for John B and everything, I wonder if there will be any part of the Pogues holding out hope that they both could still be out there OUCH.

I’m going to circle back to this, but it looks like John B and Sarah are going to get separated for a little while in this man hunt, I could see my idiot himbo son trying to sacrifice himself so Sarah can get away but in reality just....stranding her.

“Promise me you won’t do anything stupid?”

Oh, sweetie....

“Well, Sarah Cameron, I do stupid things all the time without realizing it.”

The volume of his self awareness is astronomical. sir, that is your whole character summed up in your own words.

GOD, IT’S ME AGAIN. PLEASE LET THEM LEAN INTO COMPLETE HIMBO JOHN B THIS SEASON I’LL DO ANYTHING-

nyyooooOOOOOOOOOOOOM-

“Hold on!”

The complete abject terror I would feel having John Booker Routledge driving get-away and then saying the words “Hold on” while reaching fro the gear shift? The english language fails me. 

Sarah, bestie, I’m so sorry.

I just wanna know-

what the plan or objective was in this situation. What was the reason for being this dramatic.

Rest in piss, bozo <3

“Ward’s still out there...”

Okay, same conversation they were having as before. I wonder what makes them decide they need to get back to the OBX for this tho.

“I can clear my name. This can all be over in one shot.”

It looks like Topper watching this but way more concerningly, correct me if I’m wrong but this 100% looks like....John B gets caught. And the DEATH PENALTY?! He did have a mug shot for the fliers in s1 and the one above but he was never brought in? Plus he just looks super dirty and dishevled in this one so I-

Jail break anyone?

I also still want to know if they’re going to go with a Topper redemption arc this season. like, does he know more than he should just from being around Rafe and his big fat mouth? Is he going to help out the Pogues even if it’s just for Sarah?

This shot just suddenly made me really sad. The thought of this all started because Big John left one last thing for his son to find, his literal life’s work. And when it all started, it was just a fun adventure John B and his best friends were going on together and having fun with. Then it all got dragged to absolute shit and turned into what it did, including the remaining 3 Pogues thinking that this treasure hunt took their two best friends away from them. And it’s nothing like Big John intended it to be.

Why my eyes wet?

Now we’re edging into what I was talking about earlier with John B and Sarah getting separated.

“If you think there is anything I wouldn’t do...”

Once again, John B is no where to be found. Also, just in case y’all didn’t already know or forgot Ward is an actual psychopath.

I believe this one of the new character, played by Jontavious Johnson (Stubbs). Based on the voice over it lowkey sounds like they’re implying Ward maybe hired Stubbs and Cleo to find and bring Sarah back. My theory would be I bet they do go to retrieve her, but she somehow convinces them that it would be more beneficial for them in the end to be on the Pogue’s side instead.

Miss Girl you gotta be keeping your head on a SWIVEL. Especially when you’re a FUGITIVE of the LAW-

“...you haven’t been paying attention.”

My guy, who are you clarifying this for?

It’s what you deserve for monologuing.

in all seriousness, the idea of them coming to face to face with Ward in Nassau after thinking they finally escaped him is genuinely terrifying.

“SARAH!”

It kind of looks like they’re either hiding their faces or covering their noses? I don’t know maybe it was from some tactic to get away from Ward.

What did I literally jsut say about yelling privileges, you unhinged mother fucker?

“I’m calling the shots now. I’m driving.”

The following progression of scenes made me actually snort-

“I can’t drive stick.”

PLEASE THE FINGER GUNS LAUNCHED ME INTO ORBIT I LOVE THEM, YOUR HONOR.

Alright, so now it looks like we’re in Charleston. This is the same scene with Heyward’s truck that got leaked from BTS (read: JJ and Kie shoulder touch).

One of the main things that stuck out to me in the following scenes which, you will see, is it lowkey looks like Pope is kind of heading up this part of the operation, or even going in alone? The following clips are just very Pope focused. 

I don’t know what it means, it’s just an observation.

“John B was not the only one that Ward double-crossed.”

LIMBRY-

Bro, we have been hearing about this woman for literal months and I just have....so many questions? 

Who the hell is she? How is she connected to Ward? Why is she in South Carolina instead of the OBX? How do the Pogues even learn about her and how to track her down? How is she meant to “help” them? GAH I JUST WANNA KNOOOW. I already know I don’t trust her though and no I will not be offering up supporting evidence.

Sir, that is my son please unhand him.

“I think you know what I want.”

.......no? But feel....free to explain yourself?

The print on the paper is the same one that’s on the ceiling tiles in the following scene. Obviously, with a key on it that most likely goes to the place a few shots from now.

Hell yeah, son, let’s get SLEUTHING.

“The treasure belongs to the Pogues.”

DAMN STRAIGHT.

Bestie’s I’m not going to lie, I stared at this frame for a solid 10 minuets and I have no idea what it says on there I’m sorry. Someone in the comments is welcome to enlighten us.

“We gotta find it first.”

I can’t tell if that’s just dirt or if he hurt his head? But he look GOOD right now for one thing. For another, same outfit as the one in the Twinkie from the beginning of the trailer.

Look at her. LooK AT HER! LOOK! AT! HER! I MISSED HER SO MUCH even in that damn smiley face top that continues to haunt my waking hours she is in it so much and it stresses me out for literally no good reason I’m sorry-

I could literally cry right now and I think that speaks volumes to how little we actually see him genuinely happy. Have I mentioned how much I love that red hat?

Also, probably not that important, but this is not from the same scene as the shots of Pope and Kiara were. This is from the next one-

“Woogity-woogity?”

“Give me some woogity, baby!”

Yeah, this pushed me over the fucking edge, the way that they’re actually happy and laughing? The fact that they kept woogity-woogity and made it A Thing? Yes.

I am, however, going to be intentionally ignoring what appears to be the very intentional stagingof having such an obvious space between where Kiara and Pope are sitting adn where JJ sits, even including the level they’re sitting on because I don’t have the emotional capacity to face those implications right now. Thank you for your time.

Yes yeeeeEEEEEESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!

GIVE ME ALL OF THE SCENES OF THEM ACTUALLY GETTING TO BE TEENAGERS AND JUST BREATHE AND LAUGH AND HAVE A GOOD TIME AND NOT BE RUNNING FOR THEIR FUCKING LIVES!!!!!!!!!!!

before Rafe comes in and literally starts shooting because they can’t breathe for more than 7 seconds but we’ll....get to that.

They refer to Sarah as a Pogue this season or I burn Netflix to the ground. Your move, Jonas.

50 bucks says John B is driving the Twinkie again for the first time since being back.

I deadass think the Pogues JUST got Sarah and John B back and they’re just having the time of their life. Kie was in her smiley face outfit when Pope was in this one a few clips ago, and I still hold to the belief that that one still they released of JJ and Kie hopping over a fence is the Pogue reunion so-

Ward? I have no idea what he’s looking at behind the wall paper and I’ll be so honest I don’t care my eyes are only seeing Pogue content right now.

“This is a map of the whole island.”

This fit, when will John B learn how to operate buttons, stay tuned for season 5. Also my previous theory of this being their reunion outfits and stuff because Pope is in the back in the same jacket as before.

The plot thickens and so has JJ’s hair, Rudy drop the shampoo brand.

Please, dear God, tell me they’re back in the sex church. For @jiaaraa sake.

Kiara, your Madison is showing.

Okay, I really did try but all I can make out is Something to the tomb begin something something.

You’re welcome.

I am no expert but I do not believe boats operate on land.

John B looks like he is in the same outfit here that is in his mug shot we saw on the TV screen so I have a sneaking suspicion this is where he gets caught. 

“John B is back-”

Once again with the damn sexual tension that’s always between Barry and Rafe in every scene they do are we about to kiss right now?

“-it’s him or me.”

First of all, no.

Second of all, I’m just....so very confused about this time line this season. It kind of looks like Ward and Rafe follow and find Sarah and John B in Nassau (unless those scenes by the truck were actually back in the OBX). So did they....go to Nassau, then just come right back when they did? I’m just confused.

Put that thing back where it came from or so help me.

Literally when will you stop at this point I am begging you. 

This looks like the same scene the Pogues were, ya know, literally just having a good time at so fuck me, I guess.

Yeah, no, it’s going to be a no from me, I’m just going to pretend like I’m not seeing this and moving on.

I have simply no idea what is going on here or who that is on the bike but maybe JJ? Maybe Luke even? I think that’s JJ’s bike. 

The sewer scene. The SEWER SCENE-

For months sicne that tiktok leaked this damn scene has been genuinely all I could think about. So (obviously) it seems like they’re sending Kie down into the sewer to go do seomthing and things go horribly, horribly wrong. 

If you haven’t seen the tiktok, essentially all it was was JJ and Pope screaming and trying to lift up the man hole cover while Kie is begging for them to hurry from inside. I’m cheating a little bit as this isn’t a shot from the trailer but this picture was posted and it’s from the same scene.

I’ll just....leave this here. Back to the trailer shots.

Nice. Also, same shirt as mugshot.

Hey, um, what? 

Kiara’s car, she’s driving, I can’t tell who’s in the back seat or the front.

Holy God what is going on and how can I as an audience member put a stop to it?

So, same scene as we will see and was in the teaser but, for some reason, they’re all jumping off of a giant ass boat into the little life raft where it looks like JJ gets hurt later but don’t you worry we’re getting to that.

JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE JJ AND KIARA WITH THE POGUE HANDSHAKE THEY BOTH LOOK SO DAMN GOOD AND THEIR LITTLE SMILES SPARE ME-

Cleo 🥵

I’m so excited to see her arc and what it brings this season you guys have no idea.

Please for the love of God be about to get Ward Cameron’s ass like he deserves literally punt him into jail right from Tanny Hill.

Sarah at My Druther’s with what looks like a bloody bandage on her side? Same outfit she’s wearing when they’re running from the police on the beach and she has the bandage there too so. Interesting. 

Topper hugging who I’m pretty sure is Sarah, being a general douche because he’s clearly looking at John B like 😏 

Clips like these serve to remind me just how many of my worldly posessions I would gladly give up to be able to punch Topper Thorton in the throat one time. 

I think this is Cleo jumping off the boat with Pope after John B and Sarah. 

Absolutely busting a lung at Pope’s form in this one.

John B and Sarah waiting in the life raft, still Cleo and Pope coming after them. The obvious next question is where are JJ and Kiara. The scene I’m sure you all have been waiting for is coming up and clearly takes place in the life raft as well.

So, I really think JJ and Kie get left for last, something horrible happens as they’re trying to jump (my head instantly goes to JJ maybe like pushing Kie out of the way and getting hit on the head instead or even just some accident). 

And, oh my GOD a scene of him falling off the boat after it happens and Kiara diving in after him immediately, having to desperatly try to stop him from sinkingand get to the life raft holy shit-

Girl CATCH HIM?????

Because why wouldn’t this be Rafe’s fault. Part of me wonders if this isn’t related to JJ being hurt.

I am going to try and unpack this as calmly as possible because behind my computer screen I am vibrating at a frequency that could shatter glass but respectfully.

WHAT IN THE FUCK IS TIAUEWFHLAILA

Okay, so scene wise, JJ’s hit his head somehow (probably while he was jumping with Kiara) it looks like and now they’re back on the raft. 

In my opinion, this is either:

A) JJ is in really, really bad condition after getting hurt in the jump and they’re not sure he’s going to make it. So this is a “Please stay with me, stay awake, please don’t die” hug OR

B) They very narrowly just avoided a deadly situation (my first thought is JJ hits his head while jumping, passes out in the water, maybe almost drowns but Kie and the others get him onto the life raft in time) and this is more of a “Oh my God, you’re okay, you’re safe now, we’re okay” hug. 

I honestly lean more to the second one based on the little bit of Sarah’s face we saw in the background. To me, it almost looked like she was smiling thru tears, which, fits way more with the second option than the first. 

Anyways. Moving on before I burst a lung again.

(also, before anyone comes at me, no, I’m not happy JJ is hurt, obviously.  

(Once again, arrest outfits). You can still see the bandage but it looks like Sarah’s limping now too so...good Lord give the girl a break maybe?

Everything in this trailer just went to shit so fast I think I have whip lash, can we go back to the Pogues hanging out and being happy now pkease I liked those scenes.

“I get it. You guys are scared.”

“No.”

She’s cute but, uh, hello sewer scene outfits. Seems like them planning to do whatever the hell they were going to do in the sewers but the boys are starting to get cold feet as maybe they should but hind sight is 20/20 I suppose.

“It’s kind of cute.”

“I’m not scared.”

“You should’ve just led with that.”

I will never be able to express how much I adore Pogue banter and general dumbassery and I have a feeling this season will not be lacking in either department

I high key don’t think these two are actually going to be there for this scene to go down but I’ll let it slide this time because-

They do be kinda cute.

It both feels like I’ve been waiting for this damn show for 3 years and also like I just watched season 1 last month explain that to me. 

Either way holy shit. I missed this dumb show and these dumb kids so much it physcially hurts and WE GET THEM BACK IN T-MINUS 16 DAYS.

Also. Where The Hell Is Wheezie Cameron And When Will She Have The Rights She Deserves.

[nagisa-shiota-worthy-shit]

Tinder Matches

Karmagisa Week 2021, day 1 prompt: Matching  wordcount: 1600

----------------------------------------------------------------

The fact that Nagisa had a tinder account wasn’t something he really shared with anyone. At the time, he’d created it as a joke, a way of amusing his friend’s stupid suggestion. According to Kayano, it truly could be the solution to his lack of experience in the love life department. Nagisa hadn’t been too sure about that. He was more than aware of the application’s status and, no, he wasn’t really interested in finding people to just have sex with. 

Yet, somehow, he still found himself swiping through people on the app one night. He was alone in his room, a little bored, and perhaps even a little too tired after a day’s worth of teaching. None of the people he came across really interested him much, although he had to admit that he’d probably give them a shot if he saw them in real life, just because he wanted to believe in the best in people. 

This app, however, gave little to no information on someone’s personality. Then again, some people were very clear about looking for someone rich to provide for them, which Nagisa guessed his teacher’s salary wasn’t exactly right for, and he supposed that also said something about their personality and what they were like in a relationship. Nothing Nagisa really wished to deal with. 

After swiping left on complete strangers in fear of one secretly being a stalker, murderer, or just having horrible table manners, he suddenly stopped when a familiar face popped up on his screen. the red hair, the golden eyes, that all too familiar smirk. Nagisa recognized exactly who he was seeing, yet somehow couldn't exactly process the idea. it just didn't seem entirely right. 

Someone like Karma wouldn't need to use tinder, right? 

He found himself staring at the title picture for a while before he realized he could scroll through and see more. it wasn't like he didn't know what karma looked like... but... he sure was curious about what karma was putting out there. 

It didn't appear to be all that special at first. A selfie in a casual outfit, a picture of him at a bar with people Nagisa didn't recognize, a traveling picture, but the last picture was something else. This picture appeared professionally taken, or at the very least it wasn't a selfie and the picture was set up. Karma was posing in it, after all. Posing in a suit, the jacket in his hand, thrown over his shoulder as he glanced at the camera with those devilish eyes. Nagisa was nothing but taken back by it. 

He shouldn't be staring, should he? This was his close friend and fellow assassin graduate, the staring was just weird. Yet, somehow, he couldn't look away from the picture and thought back to when he’d first met Karma, so many years ago now. He’d felt the same sense of awe back then. Karma was just so perfect, how couldn’t he. This picture, him as an adult looking like a literal model, was like a visual representation of everything Nagisa used to feel Karma was. 

The sudden noise of the train passing near his apartment woke him up from his state. suddenly turning very red, he frantically moved his hands and went to swipe left, except his phone nearly fell out of his hands in the process. He caught it, hands all over the screen and, through his own fingers, he could see Karma being swiped right. 

no. no nonono. please go back

Nagisa fumbled with his phone, hoping to undo his actions, but before he could do anything, a message popped up on the screen. He was surprised by it to say the least. 

‘you've got a match’

A match. He matched. but that meant... Karma had swiped right on him as well?! why would he- probably as a joke. he probably came across nagisa and thought it was funny, right? Nagisa had to assume that was the truth, although deep in his mind a thought echoed around saying the exact opposite. Maybe he wanted it to not be a joke.

After panicking for a hot minute, his phone made a ping sound, indicating he’d gotten a message. He was too scared to look. Somehow, before even opening the message, he could already sense who it was from. Sure enough, once he finally did gather the courage to check the notification, his fears were proven right. This was the worst situation. 

Karma: well well well, didnt take you as the tinder type

He considered ignoring it. What was that called again? Ghosting? Yes, he could ghost Karma. If he didn’t respond to the message, perhaps nothing else unfavourable would be happening. Well, Karma would probably mention it to him the next time they spoke in real life. That would probably be even worse. It wasn’t like he could ignore Karma for the rest of his life. It wasn’t like he wanted to. 

Nagisa: i'm not

Karma: yet here you are.

Karma: swiping right on me ;)

The cockiness almost oozed out of the message. Nagisa was left frowning at his phone. The main thought going through his mind was that Karma was probably enjoying this. He was a sadist like that. He was having fun while Nagisa wanted to bury himself as deep underground as possible. 

Nagisa: you swiped right first! 

Nagisa: mine was an accident

Nagisa: I was surprised to see you on here and my phone dropped

Karma: ah, so you wouldn't swipe right on me :( am I too ugly?

Nagisa felt his face grow hot. He probably shouldn't look at his reflection if he wanted to save himself from the image of his head being a tomato. He didn't think karma was ugly. quite the opposite, actually. Not that he could say that. That would be weird. So, he tried to find some middle ground answer, not calling karma ugly or the opposite of that. 

Nagisa: I never said that, I just didn't intend to swipe right on someone i'm already friends with. 

There, no way that could be taken wrong. He considered sending an additional message, clarifying just how dropping his phone led to the swiping right, but decided against it. It would sound just a little too defensive. 

Karma: well,its nice this gives us a chance to talk again anyways. appears youve been too busy to answrr my texts. 

An awkward laugh escaped Nagisa as he looked away from his phone, forgetting Karma couldn't actually see his reaction. There was no reason to avoid eye contact when there was no eye contact to begin with. Still, he shared the sentiment. He kind of had forgotten to keep contact with people lately. 

He blamed the new workplace. After finishing his days as a trainee, the new school he worked at was surprisingly more demanding. He always knew being a full time teacher was a lot of work, especially now that there was no one to keep an eye on him and remind him of certain teaching specifics of the school he taught at. Of course, the work was rewarding enough for him to barely think about his loss of contacts. He had a habit of treating those too loosely anyways. 

Nagisa: ive just been working

Karma: workaholic

Nagisa: you literally have more work hours than me

Karma: and somehow you still spend as much time working as me. 

The conversation went on like that for a bit, them going back and forth at each other. Overall, it wasn't a bad time. Nagisa kind of forgot about the actual use of the app, and the fact that he could just DM Karma on line whenever he wanted to, until Karma managed to bring back the conversation to it. 

Karma: you know, usually when people match, they try to meet up for a date

Of course Nagisa was aware that that's what the app was for, it was sort of the reason he’d gotten it as well. However, he didn't think anything would lead anywhere for him, let alone with karma. surely karma wasn't being serious. it would be weird to go on a date with your friend. 

and still, Nagisa endulged him, being so stupid as to ask further. 

Nagisa: where do people even go on tinder dates?

Karma: anywhere they want to, usually just for drinks, easy way to lead them home a little tipsy afterwards

Nagisa: okay that sounds creepy

Karma: if that's not your style I could always take you out for dinner. 

Karma: There's this new sushi restaurant near my place, looks like something you'd love. 

somehow, he actually considered it. On any other day, that would sound insane to nagisa. Since when would he consider dating karma? Wait, not dating, going on a date with Karma. There was a difference. Sushi did sound great, and so did Karma's company. He supposed he hadn't really been out like that in a while. date or not. 

Karma: i can even pick you up, very romantic 

The word hit Nagisa a little hard. Romantic. What would that entail? Would they sit opposite of each other, send cute glances, maybe even hold hands beside the table? He wanted his mind to hate the idea of that, doing those things with his friend, ruining the relationship they already had. But, he also wanted to give in, say yes, and see where things would lead. At the very least, he'd have a fun night with good food. 

Nagisa: you have a day in mind?

Karma: how's Saturday?

Nagisa: Saturday's fine

Karma: it's a date!

[likeadog]

okay so im seeing people get anons about this and its coming up in friend groups so i think now's actually a pretty good time to tackle the idea of religious (specifically cultic) abuse in media and how we as an audience interact with it

TLDR: dehumanization and sexualization of cult victims furthers the misunderstanding that cults "don't exist now", and RA survivors would feel much safer in fandom spaces if people acknowledged and analyzed the harmful portrayals of cults in media.

cw: discussions of cults, abuse, and sexual assault

also, if you have questions, please shoot me an ask or dm (off anon preferably, though)

let me start this with a disclaimer that i dont think every media that features ra is inherently bad. i think thats a bit harsh and as an ra survivor ive come to terms with the fact that there are going to be depictions of it in ways that maybe dont give it the respect it deserves, and trying to "what about [x]" everything will only lead people to talking in circles with themselves. what i want to address here is how you, as a consumer, respond to and parse out what cultic abuse means in any particular portrayal of it.

*also please don't harass people about their RAS status, like, if you see someone enjoying something with a less than stellar portrayal of cults, don't send them asks or dms like "well are YOU a cult survivor?" reducing the consumption of media to a yes or no game based on identity-- especially an identity that comes as the result of explicit pain and spiritual violation is not only derivative but also degrading to survivors and the people you're grilling. all we want is for people to think carefully about what they spread and portray, and how they think about those situations.

so, i think the first thing to tackle is...what is a cult? This is something that's surprisingly hard to define, especially in fictional settings with fictional cults. For example, (and pardon the use of this example, I don't feel like hunting for others), My Hero Academia has an organization in it that I would say fits the criteria for being a cult, but by and large isn't considered one by fans because it's not explicitly called a cult. (Although numerous cult jokes have been made about it). It also has an organization that IS explicitly referred to as a cult.

So, when you're dealing with how to process what is and is not a cult-- and how to make your presence safe for RA survivors, you have to be able to sift through more than just "did the narrative tell me this is a cult?"

There's a few different models people use; one of the most popular being the BITE model-- but I should clarify that the BITE model is really tailored towards religious and strictly hierarchal cults, but can be applied to other kinds of cults.

(and yes, there are cults other than religious/spiritual ones. corporate cults and wellness cults have been on the rise, and it's good to keep that in mind both when engaging with media and also in the real world.)

However, I'm a religious cult survivor, so a lot of my experience is strictly irt this, so please take what I say with a grain of salt, and know that I don't speak for every cult survivor, every religious cult survivor, or every religious abuse survivor. I am One Guy on the internet.

When it comes to media, I have a few questions I run through in order to figure out if something is A Cult.

1) Fringe Ideas. This one is one of those that most people know-- and often incorrectly use to attribute cult status to other things. However, it is worth mentioning, that you don't become a cult by following mainstream ideologies. BUT. BUT. not every group with weird ideas is a cult! Some groups are just weird and are fine being weird. It's a rectangles and squares situation. All cults have fringe ideas and behaviors, not all fringe ideas and behaviors belong to cults.

2) Hierarchies. Cults always have people in power, at least in my experience. There have been ideas thrown around about "completely decentralized cults"-- but to be honest, I'm not sure how I feel about that concept, and I don't know enough about it personally to say whether or not it's legitimate. If you have any sources, hmu.

BUT. Most cults have a power structure. You're going to have leaders, usually with a handful at the verrrrry tippy top, whose word is law. This can be associated with things like religious ideas (channelling god) or being "a genius", like in corporate cults.

3) Control. I cannot stress this enough; cults are all about control. How you think, feel, behave-- they discourage critical thought, encourage snitching on each other, buddy-group behavior; the BITE model explicitly lists these models of control.

4) Us V Them. Cults will give all those that oppose them or simply don't believe them a bad name. They're uneducated, they're evil-- it varies cult to cult, but you'll see them turning the non believers into a homogenous, frightening group. They want to discourage looking outwards, and they want to viciously isolate members.

Other things of note are extremism, talks of enlightenment, harsh punishments, the cult eating large portions of the member's finances, etc.

However, this post is largely to address FICTIONAL cults. and the unfortunate fact of the matter is that fictional cults are rarely fleshed out in a way that can be held one to one to a model, and, more often, don't even afford the victims of a cult humanity.

and this is one of THE biggest issues you find in cult portrayals. the leader is usually a charismatic, or perhaps menacing, figure, one that usually our protagonists-- who are rarely cult victims, they are typically outsiders (not inherently bad, mind you)-- faces personally, with the hoardes of mindless zombies forming one giant hurdle.

Naturally, this can be...hurtful. There's nuance to who is and is not a victim in a cult (although my rule of thumb is to look at what abuses that person specifically exerts over others-- and you can be both a victim and perpetrator of abuse. to treat them exclusively is lacking all nuance), but the people are the bottom, even if they joined willingly, are people who were preyed upon. Not only that, but many media cults forget that people can be born into cults, and never really had a choice to begin with. To treat these people like they are mindless-- or that they deserve the suffering they are in because they are there-- completely erases all nuance, humanity, and understanding to the cult survivior struggle. Not only that, but it continues to sensationalize and deify cult leaders, which is doing their job for them, really.

The second biggest issue is the romanticization and sexualization of cults, religious abuse, and cultic abuse.

(yes...this is a thing.)

The use of cults as a way to make a character edgy or tragic is one thing, but there's something sinister about using it to project a certain sexual behavior onto that character-- whether it be as the subjugator or subjugated. Sexual abuse is rampent in cults, and ritualistic sexual abuse is used to justify it. To sexualize the idea of a cult(ist) raping and abusing someone is...beyond offensive to anyone who has been in a cult where their sexual safety and autonomy has been compromised. Or, in some cases, the cultist is so naive and sheltered they can be easily coerced and taken advantage of due to their brainwashing.

This is...bad? This is bad. To ignore the fact that these depictions are just as harmful as any other romanticization of abuse is to ignore the real suffering of cult victims.

Really, the larger problem is that people don't really think cults exist, not really. They're all things of the past, or things that exist solely in fiction-- when in reality, every day cults form and continue to grow. If you've ever met a mormon, you've met a cultist. The moment you begin to process and parce the fact that this isn't as bizarre and unusual and fictional as it seems, you take the steps to respecting people who have been in that situation and become better at detecting cults, cult recruitment, and are able to more clearly assess what you take in.

Once again, there's so many bad portrayal of cults that it would be...stupid to call for an immediate disowning of anything with it in it. I personally have come to terms with the idea that I will have gripes about these portrayals in most cases, but rarely do I see people other than fellow RA or cult survivors discussing these portrayals. I'm hoping people can become more aware and willing to discuss cults in a serious and analytical context and criticize how they're portrayed in the things they love.

And once again, cult survivors are NOT a monolith. If a cult survivor expresses they are uncomfortable with something I said here that I'm not, or vice versa, listen to the people who actively surround you and whom you care about.

[fruitcoops]

hi! i was wondering if you could do couples play truth or drink with coops and o’knutzy? i wouldn’t mind it being spicy :))

This is VERY spicy, so please be aware of that before you go in. Coops and O’Knutzy belong to @lumosinlove!

TW for many mentions of sex and alcohol

Sirius was warm, a little tipsy, and perfectly content. The carpet was soft under his palms and Remus was cuddled happily against his side from their spot on the floor; across from him, Logan was sitting in Leo’s lap with his legs over Finn’s, whose Spotify ‘gaylist’ played from the speakers. Their cheeks were all a little pink from alcohol and Sirius was glad they were staying the night instead of driving home.

“Okay, okay, new game,” Leo laughed as they gathered the last of the Scrabble pieces. The five of them had made it through a whole fifteen minutes before Remus and Finn began arguing about symbolism in Great Expectations, while Sirius sat on the sidelines deeply regretting his choice to build ‘mansion’ for a triple-word score. Twenty points really wasn’t worth the near-fistfight.

“It’s time,” Logan singsonged as he took the truth or drink cards off the coffee table, which had been pushed aside to make room for their game board. “The rules for this are a little different. Do you have alcohol?”

Sirius scoffed. “Of course we have alcohol, we’re adults.”

“Other than wine.”

“Mon dieu,” he muttered, rolling his eyes as he got to his feet and walked back into the kitchen. He returned a few moments later with a bottle of cheap whiskey he had been given on his birthday and set it in the middle of their circle, along with five glasses. “There.”

“Before we start, let’s make an agreement that whatever we say stays in this room, alright?” Finn held his hand out, palm down, and they stacked theirs on top. “No cameras, no holding back.”

“Deal. Who goes first?”

“Alright, so with the group game, there’s one judge each round,” Logan explained as he took a few cards out and put them face down. “Every card has two questions and the judge decides who asks who. They give the card to the person with the best answer, and whoever has the most cards at the end wins. Ready?”

“Let’s do it.”

Finn drew a card. “Okay, I want Remus to ask Leo the first one, and Leo asks Remus the second one.”

“Have you ever walked in on your parents?” Remus asked.

Leo groaned. “Yeah.”

“Not Eloise and Wyatt!”

“Yes, Eloise and Wyatt. Scarred me for life, that’s for sure.” Leo shuddered and took the card, immediately grinning. “This is a good one. What’s your most embarrassing sex moment?”

“I really want to drink.”

“You can’t chicken out this early!”

“Ugh, fine.” Remus ran a hand down his face, which was faintly red. “Um, it was after my first game with the Lions and I tried to ride and…” He sighed. “My legs were too tired to actually sit up.”

“No,” Finn gasped, looking like a kid on Christmas morning. “You couldn’t even get up?”

“I could get up, I just couldn’t move.” Remus tucked his knees under himself. “Like, I got to here and it was fine, but there was nothing left.”

Sirius snickered. “Almost broke my sternum trying, though.”

All three cubs burst out laughing. “This one goes to Loops,” Finn managed after a moment, wiping a tear from his eye as he handed the card over. “Oh, shit, that’s the funniest thing I’ve ever heard. Leo, you’re up.”

“Okay…I want Cap to ask Logan the first one, and vice versa.”

Any higher power, give me strength. “What’s your favorite position, Tremzy?”

Logan grinned cheekily. “Middle.”

“Didn’t need to know that.”

“Too bad. When was the last time you had sex?”

“It would have been three and a half hours ago if your boyfriend didn’t insist on being early to everything.”

“I knew it!” Finn practically shouted. “I told you two they were fucking.”

“Did you bet on that?” Remus asked, incredulous. “Oh my god!”

“It was less of a bet and more of an assumption,” Leo corrected. “Cap, answer the question.”

“Last night.”

“That’s a lame-ass answer and I’m giving the card to Lo.”

“Bias,” he coughed, earning himself three different smacks to the shoulders. “Rude.”

“My turn!” Logan reached over for a new card. “Loops, ask Finn the first one, and Finn, ask Loops the second.”

Remus cleared his throat, took a second to laugh, and then read. “Name the person here you think I should hook up with.”

Finn snorted. “Aside from your actual fiancé?” They both turned to Logan, who shrugged. “Alright, which one of my boyfriends am I willing to hand over for a night? I feel like you’d object to sleeping with Lo because he’s basically Sirius’ brother. You and Leo are close already, which means it wouldn’t be all that awkward. Honestly, when it comes down it, I’d tap that.”

“Oh, you think you’re doing the tapping?” Remus raised an eyebrow and Finn glanced at Sirius, who grinned. “That’s cute. My turn, Harzy, hand it over.”

Finn obliged, shocked into silence while Leo and Logan cackled next to him. “Are you really surprised?” Sirius asked.

“I mean, a little.”

“Shush, you two. Finn, have you ever done anything sexual on camera?”

“Does Snapchat count?”

“Yes.”

“Then yes. Multiple times.”

The five of them looked to Logan, who shook his head. “I’m going to have to give it to Loops, who is apparently a top, much to everyone’s surprise. Sorry, mon rouge.”

“To clarify, I’m a switch,” Remus said as he added the card to his pile. “Let’s not get too hasty here.”

Sirius took a card off the stack and scanned the two questions. “Logan, ask Leo the first one, and vice versa.”

“Oh, this should be interesting. Knutty, who here do you most want to hook up with?”

“Just one?” Leo looked over to Sirius who nodded. “Fuck, I don’t know. I can’t choose!”

“Are you going to drink?” Sirius asked. “That means you lose the card by default.”

“Yeah, I’m not going to choose between my boyfriends.” He downed the shot and reached for the card. “Have you ever had an awkward sex dream? Was anyone here involved?”

“Fuck,” Logan muttered. “Yes, I have had so many awkward sex dreams and several of them involved people in this room.”

“Aw, Tremzy, I’m flattered,” Remus teased, taking a sip of his water as Logan stretched a leg out to kick him in the thigh. “Do I get to be the judge now, seeing as you won by default?”

“Get me some cards, Loops!” Finn said.

“Sirius, ask Finn question one and Finn, ask him question two.” Remus kissed Sirius on the cheek as he handed him the card.

“Harzy, what’s the sexy nickname they’ll give you in the old folks’ home? You have no idea how bad I want to know this.”

Finn winked. “Big Red.”

“That is the shittiest nickname ever. Do better.”

“Ugh, fine. Hmmm…” He hummed along to the playlist while he thought, and Sirius couldn’t help but bop a bit as well. Sue him, Gloria Gaynor was catchy. “My nickname in the nursing home is going to be Harzy because that’s already sexy. Hand it over, Cap. What’s a sexual thing you tried, but just couldn’t get into?”

“Having sex with women.” The entire group burst out laughing at that, and it took a solid minute for everyone to calm down enough to continue. “It’s true! They were all very nice and lovely, but it wasn’t quite right. Alright, Re, who won?”

“You did,” Remus laughed. “By a landslide, holy fuck. Batter up, Harz.”

“Ha! Everyone has to answer this one except me. What’s the sex skill you’re most proud of?”

“Do we just go around the circle?” Leo asked. Finn nodded and he tilted his head. “Hmm. I’m really flexible.”

“Damn right you are,” Logan grinned. “I’m most proud of my riding ability.”

Sirius did not miss the flush that came to both Finn and Leo’s faces at that. “Easy, boys. I think I’m a really good kisser.”

“That’s not a sex skill!” Finn protested. “Everyone can kiss.”

Remus huffed a laugh. “Not like he can, trust me. Um, I give top-notch blowjobs.”

Finn looked between the four of them, deep in thought. “I hate having to choose between my boyfriends.”

“You know there are two other people here, right?” Sirius asked drily.

“Yeah, but I don’t have to go home with you tomorrow and neither of you are in direct control of whether or not I get laid. I think I have to go with Logan on this one. Peanut, I am grateful for your flexibility every single day, but it’s not a specifically sexual talent.”

“We’ll see if you get to experience it ever again,” Leo scoffed, flicking him on the ribs playfully. “My turn. Logan, ask Finn the first one.”

“Okay, baby, what did you get in major trouble for as a kid?”

“Oh, that’s tough.” Finn absentmindedly ran his hand through Logan’s hair. “There was one time when I told Alex I was going for a bike ride, but he didn’t tell my parents and they thought I’d been kidnapped. Got grounded for a month after that.”

“Even though you told your brother?”

“Mhmm. Oh, I hate the way this is worded. Tell us about a time a fluid got on you during sexy times.”

Logan snorted. “Do you remember the day we found out I was allergic to dust?”

Both Leo and Finn started laughing, but Sirius shared a bewildered look with Remus, who shrugged. “Spill it, Tremz, we weren’t there.”

“D’accord, we had forgotten to clean the apartment after a roadie, so it was pretty dusty. I went down on Leo and then pulled off to sneeze right as he came, and it got in my eye.”

Sirius winced at the thought and Remus hissed in sympathy. “Yikes.”

“After we finished rinsing my eye out, we dusted the whole place and now we vacuum at least once a week.”

“Logan is the winner for this round because I still feel bad about that,” Leo said as he handed the card over. “I have never felt so guilty for coming. Lo, you’re the judge now.”

“Since the questions stayed within the triad last round, I’m going to be nice and give you two a chance to catch up,” he teased. “Cap, read Loops the first one.”

“Alright, sweetheart, what’s the strangest place you’ve had sex?”

“I don’t think a lot of people can say they’ve fucked at the rink.”

“Yeah, um, how often did that happen?” Leo interrupted, making a time out motion. “Because I thought it was maybe twice and I’m a little worried about sitting on that table now.”

Sirius winked. “Pre-game rituals, Knutty. At least once a week.”

“The Habs PT room was also interesting,” Remus mused. “They had a very heavy door, which was nice. Okay, gimme. What was your best orgasm?”

“When I wore your jersey,” Sirius answered without hesitating. “No contest. Logan, who won?”

He blinked twice before responding. “Sorry, I’m still stuck on the fact that you got off in the Habs PT room. I think this one goes to Loops.”

Sirius sighed and picked a new card. “These are incredibly similar. Um, Re and Leo.”

Remus took the card and snuggled up against his side as he read. “Leo, how much money would a voyeuristic billionaire have to pay us to have sex in his velvet blimp? That is so specific, what the hell?”

“There are two parts to my answer,” Leo said. “Number one: it would take very little actual money to get me to have sex with you if I wasn’t head over heels in love and you weren’t engaged. Number two: a hundred million dollars.”

“What?”

“He’s a billionaire! That’s nothing to him! Think of another time when you’d be allowed to fuck in a velvet blimp and get paid obscene amounts of money, Loops. I’ll wait.”

“Good point.”

“My turn. What would we do on our first date?”

“Hmm. I’m getting, like, coffee shop and bookstore vibes.” Remus paused. “Wait, we literally did that last weekend.”

“By that metric, we’re basically already dating,” Leo laughed. “Cap, who won?”

“Sorry, honey, but Leo put a lot of thought into his answer.” Sirius slid the card across the floor and Leo kissed it in victory.

Remus shook his head and drew a card. “You’re sleeping on the couch tonight. Finn, ask my traitor fiancé the first one and vice versa.”

“I’m getting punished for being fair?”

“We’re in this to win, baby.”

“Ask away, Harz.”

“How are we wrong for each other romantically? Ooo, can I answer this after you?”

“Sure. Where do I start?” Sirius laughed. “First we have the weird power imbalance if we’re still on the same team, then there’s the part where I’m super introverted and you’re painfully social, and finally you’re poly and I’m not.”

“I was going to say you’re not as kinky as me.”

Remus, who had been taking a drink of water, choked and nearly did a spit take. “Double check that before you commit,” he coughed.

Finn’s eyes widened. “Really? Again? I thought you guys were the wholesome vanilla couple!”

“Oh, honey, no,” Leo said, patting him on the arm. “Kasey made the same mistake.”

Sirius took the card from him. “This is easy. Have you ever had a threesome?”

“Take a wild guess.”

“Sirius wins that one,” Remus said. At Finn’s betrayed look, he shrugged. “Sorry, I don’t make the rules.”

“You’re literally the judge.”

“You are now, actually. The round ended.”

Finn rolled his eyes and took a card. “Loops and Logan, give it a go.”

“Loops, if we were on a desert island together, would we become lovers?” Logan batted his eyelashes and Remus laughed.

“Is anyone else there?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Sure, why not. You’re cute.” He paused and made a face. “Now that I think about it, that would be a lot like fucking Regulus and I don’t know how I feel about that.”

Sirius turned to look at him. “I hope you feel oh god, please no about that.”

“It’s a desert island!”

“Maps exist! We’ll find you!”

“Hand over the card before this gets ugly, Tremz.” Remus made a low oof noise as Sirius dragged him into his lap and placed a loud kiss to the side of his neck. “Thank you, baby. Describe the first time you had sex, including every cringey detail.”

Logan put his face in his hands. “I was a junior in high school and it happened in her parents’ basement. The school gave out free condoms—”

“You had sex with a school condom?” Remus grimaced. “I guess it’s better than nothing.”

“Yeah. Anyway, I had been crushing on her for a while, but she panicked as soon as her shirt came off and told me she was a lesbian, and that I looked exactly like the girl she was in love with.”

“No.”

“Yeah. It was so awkward. I gave her a hug and then we went and got ice cream.”

The room was quiet for a moment. “Damn,” Leo said with a low whistle at last as Remus passed the card to Logan. “Good for her, I guess?”

“I mean, she was dating the girl by the end of the year. Gay rights?”

“Gay rights,” the rest of them said in unison, breaking down into laughter as Leo took the last card.

“Bummer, everyone gets to answer this except me. Expose one of your kinks or take a shot, and you can’t repeat one that’s already been said. Nobody wins this card at the end of the round.”

“I am not opposed to a little bit of manhandling,” Logan said with a sly look at Leo.

Sirius eyed the shot glass in the middle of the circle, then decided against it. There was no way he would give up a chance to beat the cubs at this game. “Getting tied up.”

Remus gave him a surprised look. “I thought you’d take a shot.”

“Not this late in the game. Your turn.”

“Hmmm.” Remus bit his lip. “Praise kink.”

“Aw, man, that was mine!” Finn protested. Remus gave him a high five. “I guess I have to go with voyeurism, then. Whew, wasn’t expecting to say that out loud tonight.”

“Is that it? That was the last one?” Strangely, Sirius was a little disappointed. Despite the insanely invasive sex questions, it was fun to trade stories with the cubs.

“Yep. Count your cards, everyone.”

“I don’t have any.” Finn pouted.

Leo held up his single card. “Thank God for the velvet blimp.”

Sirius had two, and Remus shuffled his three. Across the circle, Logan was sitting pretty on five cards. “I win,” he said with a smug smile.

“Way to go, Tremzy.” Sirius reached over for a fist bump, doing his best not to jostle Remus. “I mean, it must have been nice having both your boyfriends here to give you cards.”

“Shut the fuck up!” Logan tossed his cards at Sirius, who grabbed a pillow off the sofa behind them and whacked him on the side of the head with it. “Oh, you’re going down.”

In the ensuing chaos, the truth or drink box and Logan’s winning cards were forgotten. None of them really cared, though; they had a pillow fight to win.

[taexual]

SEVENTEEN (Vocal Unit) / They realize they are in love with you

WARNING: the softest fluff (also, these are long)

JEONGHAN

Jeonghan thought his flu had gotten so bad, he’d imagined the sound of the doorbell.

He’d just texted you – half an hour ago – telling you not to come over, no matter how sick he was, because it was pouring rain outside and he didn’t want you to get sick, too. And then he fell asleep, so now he wasn’t sure which sounds were real and which were—

There it was again. Someone was absolutely ringing the doorbell.

“Joshua!” he tried, bursting into a coughing fit as soon as the word left his lips. “Ah, crap—”

Sneezing immediately after he finished couhing, Jeonghan thought he could distinctly recall ordering the boys in the rooms nearby to evacuate as soon as he got a sore throat, afraid of infecting them, so that meant he was going to have to find a way to get to the door himself.

Halfway out of the door, sniffling and sturggling to properly open his eyes, Jeonghan heard a very familiar gasp. Blinking, he lifted his face to meet your surprised gaze.

“Why are you out of bed?” you demanded.

Too taken aback by your presence – perhaps he’d dreamed telling you not to come? – he stuttered, “the doorbell—”

“Seungcheol opened the door,” you explained, taking him by the arm and guiding him back to his room. “You’re not supposed to be walking.”

“Y-you’re not supposed to be here,” he retorted, shivering as soon as he felt your cold hand on his forehead when you checked for fever. You pulled your hand away after realizing that you were wet from the rain.

“You’re sick,” you countered as you helped him climb back into bed and passed him a tissue as soon as he sneezed again. “And Seungcheol told me you tried to kick everyone out of the house.”

“I just told them t-to—” he sneezed again, “to stay away from my room. I don’t want them to get sick. I don’t want you to get sick, either.”

“Well, I don’t want you to be alone when you’re not feeling well,” you replied, taking your coat and backpack off before sitting down on the edge of his bed and unpacking the provisions you’d brought. “I didn’t know how to make the kind of soup that you like but I hope that—”

“Thank you,” Jeonghan said. He watched the medicine, the themometers, the containers of food, and the nasal sprays that you’d brought, and felt something squeeze his chest – it wasn’t the flu. “I love you.”

“I love you, too, now lie down and—” you replied automatically and then froze, realizing that you’d never actually heard him say that to you before.

Somewhat bewildered, you turned to look at him but Jeonghan – still hovering between dream and reality and, therefore, not sure if he’d just confessed his love to you or if he just thought of doing it – was already lying in his pile of blankets and pillows, his eyes closed and lips parted, seemingly drifting off to sleep.

JOSHUA

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Joshua asked you as he tried to finish reading the last chapter of the book. The feeling of your warm gaze on him distracted him, and was more than enough to decorate his cheeks with the softest shade of pink.

Realizing that he’d caught you staring – but it wasn’t like you were trying very hard to be subtle – you chuckled and looked away. “Like what?”

“Like—I don’t know,” he laughed nervously, not quite sure why his heart had started to beat so quickly. “Like you’d never seen me before.”

You carried on what you were doing and looked back to your phone, explaining in a tone so simple, it seemed like your answer was obvious and it was ridiculous that he didn’t figure that out himself.

“Sometimes it feels like I haven’t,” you explained, “you looked so lost in the book, it felt like I was getting a glimpse into your mind by watching you read,” you paused to give him a look filled with sincerity, “sorry if that was—”

“No, um…” he stopped you, closing his book shut. He had exactly zero chances of getting back into the final chapter and actually understanding how the story resolved. “That’s okay. You just surprised me, I guess.”

“Why?” you asked, a hint of teasing in your voice now. “You’re nice to look at.”

Joshua felt himself inhale with a shudder so intense, he was worried you’d see him shaking from across the room. But, not meaning to make him even more uncomfortable, you’d looked away after you finished speaking, so he had nothing to be nervous about.

Except for the fact that he thought you were nice to look at, too. And the fact that he’d thought so for ages now, but you were friends and he wasn’t supposed to think that about a friend.

“Hey, um,” he started to say before he was aware of opening his mouth, “can I ask you something?”

“Sure,” you replied, too far from him to notice the wild terror in his eyes after he realized there was no going back from this.

“What—uh, h-how do you feel about going out to get food tonight?” he asked, caressing the spine of the book he was still holding in order to get some more courage to clarify the true purpose of his question.

“Okay, that sounds good,” you nodded. “Maybe we can try that all-you-can eat place that just opened a few blocks away?”

That wasn’t exactly the sort of candle-lit dinner he’d imagined, but, swallowing with great difficulty, Joshua nodded, “yeah. Okay. Anything you want.”

Baby steps, he decided. He’d have to figure out a way to make it clear that this was a date once you were already on it.

WOOZI

You had been too busy – too stressed – to see him – really, properly see him – for nearly a month now. All of your meetings consisted of a few minutes, meant to say hello and catch up, and then you were back to taking care of your own personal errands.

Before long, seeing you for two minutes a day didn’t seem enough for Jihoon anymore.

“I’m sorry,” you exhaled heavily, the fifth apology leaving your lips even though you and Jihoon had only been on the phone for about half a minute. “I should be done with this project in a few more weeks tops, and then this will all be over. Really, I am so—”

“No, don’t apologize,” Jihoon asked, feeling bad to be putting extra pressure on you with his insistent phone call. “I understand. I just… I don’t know, I haven’t seen you in so long.”

He wanted to say he missed you. He was going to say he missed you. But he stayed quiet, leaving the words hanging in the air awkwarly.

You bit your lip, not wanting to draw attention to the fact that you’d been hoping to relieve the frustration that’s been brought on by your heavy workload by doing something special for him. Something that he’d clearly not noticed.

“Have you, uh,” you started, having no other choice but to come clean, “checked your mailbox recently?”

“My inbox?” he repeated as his confused eyes darted to his computer where he’d always kept his email open.

“No, your mailbox,” you clarified and then explained, “your physical mailbox at your house.”

Jihoon looked almost alarmed. “No. I don’t think anyone checks that thing, we get our bills online and don’t care much for ads. S-should I, er—should I have checked it?”

“Yeah,” you said, nervous now. “Call me back after you do.”

He promised he would and leaped off his office chair. Nearly slipping on the wooden floors as he bolted through the door of his room and into the hallway outside of the apartment, Jihoon realized he’d left the key of the mailbox back inside.

Honestly, at that point, he was curious enough to physically pry the mailbox open but, groaning and huffing with irritation, he settled for the conventional way and returned inside to grab the key.

What he saw inside of the mailbox almost made him sit right down on the floor.

You’d mailed him a letter. Every single day. Actually, you didn’t mail it – the envelopes had no stamps on – you must have delivered the letters yourself, early in the morning before you had to go to work.

Jihoon wondered why you didn’t call him instead, but the answer was obvious: you knew how late he went to sleep the night before and you didn’t want to wake him.

Still not having caught his breath, Jihoon collected the envelopes and jogged back inside. He was going to call you first, then read them all; he wanted to do both at the same time but some things were more important than the others.

And the most important thing right now was him telling you how much he loved you.

DK

Seokmin didn’t really understand what was happening at first. One moment, he was sleeping – snoring peacefully and possibly even smiling in the dream – and then the next, he was suddenly awake and semi-aware of his surroundings, even if his eyes still felt too heavy to open.

“Hmmm,” mumbling in disorientation, he tried to turn to his side but felt something change in the atmosphere as soon as he did.

The room went quiet.

And, finally, Seokmin realized what’s happened: he’d been sleeping next to you – almost on top of you, at this point – and you’d been humming. Actually humming a quiet cheerful tune under your breath and, despite the comfort it brought his tired mind, he’d never heard you humming before. And that’s why he woke up.

“Sorry,” you whispered, putting down the book that you’d been reading while he slept. “I didn’t mean to wake you.”

“No, please,” he spoke, his voice groggy and laced with sleep. Throwing his arm around your waist as he absentmindedly nuzzled his face into your neck, he asked, “sing for me.”

You would have laughed if you didn’t feel so overwhelmed with his body warmth. “You’re asking me to sing for you?”

“Yes,” he said and sighed in content when one of your hands dropped above his head, your nervous fingertips gently touching his hair.

Seokmin had never felt so safe – so at home – before and he realized with frightening clarity that he never wanted to leave. So, tightening his grip around you, he settled firmly on one thing and one thing only: he was going to stay here forever.

“Sing me to sleep,” he asked again, bringing a smile to your lips with his ambiguous request, “but let me stay awake so I can listen.”

SEUNGKWAN

More than half of the time that Seungkwan spent with you, he was laughing. It was either at the jokes that you’d made, or at your shared ability to abandon all sensibility and behave like reckless idiots just for the fun of it. If someone had seen the two of you then, they would have probably thought you were both high on every drug imaginable.

And Seungkwan cherished moments like that – he cherished the pain in his cheeks, the hollowness of his lungs when he thought he’s suffocate from laughing so much, and the bruises on his thighs from clapping against them so hard each time you said something funny.

“God, I’m really going to die like this,” he said to you one time, wiping a tear from his eye.

Seungkwan almost started to laugh again as soon as he saw that you’d transcended the laughter state and were now in the “silent tremors” state where your body was shaking from how funny this was, but you were physically incapable of producing any sort of sound anymore.

“Stop!” he demanded, bringing his hand over your knee because you were too far for him to touch in a more forceful way. “I can’t breathe anymore!”

But you didn’t stop – you couldn’t – and soon enough, you were both almost literally on the floor, still laughing, even though neither of you could remember what was it that started this anymore. You’d slow down every now and then, the laughter dissipating, but then a memory – or the sight of each other’s faces, still framed in joy – would start it all up again.

“I c-can’t feel my stomach,” you spoke as you leaned against the wall, trying to get yourself together, but still giggling uncontrollably. “This is like exercise.”

Seungkwan had almost stopped but now he was laughing again – and, naturally, you were, too – and he had to cover his face with his hands because, dear God, this was never going to end!

“Exercise,” he said in-between fits of laughter, “is nowhere near as fun as this. Ah, I’m not sure I can stand up.”

Still laughing weakly, you managed to get back on your feet and extended a hand for him. “I blame you, by the way. You started it.”

“Did I?” he wasn’t sure.

“Of course! You always make me laugh.”

“You always make me laugh!” he countered as if this was a very serious accusation and, within a moment, you were both giggling again. “God, my face hurts so much. I love it. I love you.”

Even though he was still laughing as he said it – and you were, too – you couldn’t miss the sincerity in his voice and the emotion behind his words because, jokes and laughter aside, it matched the emotions inside of your own chest.

So, you laughed harder – forcing him to push your hand away because now he was laughing, too – because this was your way of telling him that you loved him, too.

[bruh--wtf]

A Message

Thomas x Reader

Summary: The reader goes through the Maze trials with a message, but she has no idea who it's from. That is until he enters the maze. And he helps them get out.

Main Masterlist

Part 1

Next

Maze Runner Masterlist

Warning: I am well aware that this is not how the books or the movie painted the backstory. But it fits better, so we're just going to go with it, okay?

You were in your room with the guys. Newt, Minho, Alby, Chuck, and Gally. You'd been in a room with them for a couple years. Since you were taken when you were ten. Now, fifteen, you all were like family to eachother.

You were hanging off your bunk, upside down with your hair hanging down. Newt slept below you and Minho slept in the top bunk across from yours, above Alby. Gally slept on a bottom bunk with Chuck above him. The kid had become the little brother of the group. All of you were protective over the boy.

While upside down you and Minho were tossing a ball back and forth. It was something that one of the guy's friends had snuck into your room.

When the door started to open and Minho had just tossed the ball, you tried to grab it but also slipped off the bed in the process. Newt stood and slipped his arms under yours in the process to catch you. Your legs hit the ground hard and you winced a little and threw the ball at Minho. He caught it quickly and hid it under his pillow.

You straightened up, and Newt let go of you. A boy and girl who looked around your age came into the room. They both had brown hair, but the boy's was darker. He was quite handsome, actually.

"Hey, Thomas," Chuck says. Minho pulls the ball back out and throws it at your head. You manage to catch it and throw it right back, just as harsh, if not harsher. The boy, Thomas smiled slightly but it quickly disappeared.

"What's wrong?" Alby asked, standing up. The girl took in a breath and looked around the group.

"They're between two of you to go into the Maze first," she says. You snap your eyes to hers.

"The maze? I thought that wasn't supposed to happen yet," you say. The girl looks you over, but nods.

"We're not even supposed to be telling you this," she says pointedly to the boy beside her. He looked a little annoyed, but didn't even glance at her.

"How do you know this?" You ask. The girl and the boy both look at you.

"Uh, we overheard," the girl says. You raise an eyebrow, not believing her at all.

"Do you know who?" Newt asks. Thomas looked at him, glancing at you.

"Yeah. They can't decide between Alby and Y/N," he says. You exchange a look with Alby. He looked a little freaked. You looked down, in thought.

"Can one of us choose for them?" You ask. The guys all look at you.

"Y/N, I know where your mind is going. Don't be stupid," Newt says. You roll your eyes and look at Thomas.

"Can one of us volunteer?" You clarify to the boy. He seems a little surprised and glances at the girl beside him.

"I mean, I guess. But why would you want to?" He asks. You swallow, biting the tip of your tongue in thought. You shift on your feet a little bit.

"One of us has to go in there first, we're all going in eventually," you say. The girl nods and turns towards you a little bit.

"Yes, but you'll be in there alone. For a month. And you won't remember anything," she says. You blink, and after a second you shrug. That, uh, was a little new. You'd heard rumors about the mind wiping but it being confirmed is kind of scary.

"I'd rather it be me than one of these idiots," you say. The girl takes a step towards you.

"You guys would really do that for eachother?" She asks. You roll your eyes.

"Where do I sign up?" You ask in reply. The guys all look at eachother, exchanging worried looks but you just smirked.

"You could request to see Chancellor Paige," the girl says. You nod and gesture towards the door.

"This is me, requesting," you say. The girl exchanged a look with Thomas and you rolled your eyes. "Where do I find her?"

"Don't be stupid, Y/N," Gally says. I scowl at him.

"It's me or Alby. I'm making it easier on them. Trust me, letting them struggle went through my mind. But I'd rather me be in there alone than one of you," you said. Alby steps forward.

"We should talk about this. What if you make a stupid decision in the maze?" He asks. You shrug.

"Then you guys will be there after me. And you'll forget I ever existed. You'll move on," you say. He looks annoyed, his nostrils flaring. But before he could respond, the door opens. The same guard steps in and then the Chancellor. You raise an eyebrow. She looks at Thomas and the girl.

"Thomas, Teresa," she says. You roll your eyes. The two take steps towards her, falling behind her. She then looks at you and Alby. She opens her mouth but you cut her off.

"I want to go into the maze first," you say. Alby grabs your arm and tries to pull you back but you shrug him off. "Seems like a better option at this point." She raises an eyebrow at you, keeping eye contact.

"That's why we're here. We've decided. It's a good thing you want to be first. You're going in, in a few weeks," she says. You stare at her. She nods at the boys and then turns to leave the room. You were frozen in your spot. Newt grabbed your arm, turning you to face him.

"What the bloody hell is wrong with you?" He asks. You shrug him off but your throat had went dry.

A couple days later, you were walking in a hallways when Thomas walked by. He looked a little confused when he saw you but grabbed your arm to stop you. You raised an eyebrow at him and he sighed.

"How are you feeling?" He asks. You were a little caught off guard by the question. Thomas was friends with the guys but you had never met him before last week.

"Like I want a book," you say. He gives you a confused look and you shift on your feet. "I loved to read before all of this. Will I even remember how to read?" I ask, laughing a little and looking down.

"Yeah, you will. You just won't have your memories," he says. You chewed on the inside of your lip and nodded, lifting your head back up to look at him.

"I won't remember the guys," you say. He nods. "Then I guess we'll just have to remake our memories in the maze." He smiles slightly. "Hey, I, uh, I was wondering if I could ask you for a favor. The guys said you were cool, so..."

"Yeah, yeah, what is it?" He asks. You meet his eyes and let out a breath.

"I was wondering if you could try to find out something about someone. I just need to know if they're okay," you say. He studies you for a second before nodding. "It's my little brother. He probably doesn't even remember me he was only two when we were taken. But... he's the only reason I'm still alive. And I need to know if he's okay." Your voice cracked a little, and you looked down shaking your head. "I'm sorry, if you can't-"

"I'll see what I can find out. What's his name?" He asks. You look up.

"Uh, Jack. His names Jack," you tell him. He nods, and gives you a small smile.

"I'll try and figure something out," he says. You give him a watery smile and wipe your nose, looking away again.

"Thank you," you say. He nods.

"Yeah, of course," he says. He studies you for a second. "You're nervous, aren't you?" He asks. You sigh and shake out the jitters in your hands.

"Yeah, I guess. The idea of having no idea where I am. Or getting lost in the maze. Having nothing to live for and purposefully-"

"That's not going to happen," he says. You scoff and cross your arms.

"How do you know? 'Cause the last one seems pretty much like a me thing," you say. He gives me a 'be serious' look.

"I'm not going to let anything bad happen to you," he says. You straighten up, looking him over.

"Why? You barely know me," you say. He smiles and shrugs.

"I like what I know," he says. A smile creeped onto your face.

"Thomas!" Someone calls from the end of the hall. You look over to see Teresa. She looked at you briefly before gesturing for Thomas to come with her.

"I'll find out what I can about your brother," he says, taking a few steps away from you. You watch as he leaves, a little bit in shock.

Two more days past before Thomas came by the room again. When he did you stood up from where you were sitting with Chuck. He looked at you.

"Can I talk to you?" He asks. You nod, following him out into the hallway. He crossed his arms and looked at you. You leaned against the wall, waiting for him to say something. "I found your brother," he says. You straighten up. "He's young, so he won't be put into a maze for a while. And when he does... it's going to be yours." You stared at him for a minute.

"He... he's in our group? How have I not seen him? Why haven't I seen him?" You ask, pushing off the wall.

"Like I said, he's young-"

"Yeah, young! He's nine! He's being raised in this! Is he in our building? Can I see him?" You ask. He puts his hands on your shouldrrs to calm you down. You stare at Thomas with wide eyes.

"It'd be hard to make that happen, but I can try. Until then," he reaches around and pulls something out of the little bag he had brought with him. You knit your brows together. He looked around a little and handed you what he grabbed.

When you looked at it you saw a book. The Lord of the Flies. You chuckled a little looking down at it. But the little laugh turned into a few tears falling. You gave Thomas a watery smile.

"You got me a book?" You ask, laughing a little. He smiled a little and nodded.

"Yeah. It's super old, but it's one they wouldn't miss," he says. You wipe your cheeks, looking down at it.

"Why do you keep doing nice things for me? Is it pity? Because I really don't-"

"No! I told you, I like what I know," he says. You smiled at him and without thinking you hugged him. He hesitated for a second before hugging you back. Your lips touched his clothed shoulder, and after a minute you pulled away.

"Sucks I'm gonna forget about this is in a week," you say, holding up the book a little. He shrugs.

"Maybe." You raised an eyebrow but he just opened the door. "I've got some things to do." You eye him suspiciously for a minute before going back into the room, him leaving.

Tomorrow was the day. You were going into the maze. And you were freaking out. The guys were all sulking. Even Gally. You hop off your bed and catch the ball as Minho tosses it at the ceiling, playing catch with himself. He looks at you, frowning.

You toss it up, and catch it, pointing a finger and waving it around at all of them. "That's it! You guys aren't allowed to be upset. Your last memory with me isn't going to be boring and sad! Sure, I won't remember it, but who knows how long you guys will! Now, stop being boring! Now!" You say, tossing the ball to Alby.

"It should be me," he says. You groan, playfully slapping the side of his head.

"Doesn't matter. Whether I volunteered or not, I got chosen. So it really shouldn't be you."

"What if something happens to you?" Chuck asks. You roll your eyes, grabbing the ball back from Alby and tossing it to Chuck, who catches it a little messily. He was nine.

"Nothing is happening to me! One of these bozos is following me in a month! What's a month? I can survive a month, don't you think." They were all still frowning. "Oh, c'mon put a little faith in me!"

"We do have faith in you! But you without memories is a different story," Newt says, standing up. He puts his hand out towards Chuck who tosses him the ball. "If we have to watch something bad happen to you, we'll be the ones who really get hurt." You sigh and grab the ball as he lightly tosses it to you. He turns and sits back down on his bed.

The door opens and Thomas reveals himself. You knit your brows together, and walk over to him. He gestures to the bed.

"Do you still have the book?" He asks. You nod, grabbing it from under my pillow and handing it to him. He smiles, putting it in his bag quickly. "We have to go. Quickly." He says. Your eyes widen and every guy in the room stands up quickly. "She's not going into the maze yet," Thomas clarifies. A breath of relief is sounded throughout the room. "But I still need you to come with me." You were confused, but followed him regardless.

After walking for a little bit, Thomas started to look around a little bit more. He looked kind of sketchy and you laughed.

"What are you doing?" You ask. He grabs your hand, making you match pace with him as he speeds up a little bit. "Thomas! What-" you stop when you see a child's drawing on a wall. You knit your brows in confusion but then the realization hits you and you stare at Thomas in shock.

He was taking you to see your brother.

[celestep]

okay I found an older snippet and I may be considering...writing again??

If I do write more, I think it would have to be AU but here's an older snippet that is not!

Note: Even though this is a Jily snippet, it's a convo between Lily and Sirius

“Oi! Evans!”

Lily hardly registered the sound of her name. She had been in a terrible fog recently, and the lack of sleep certainly wasn’t helping.

“Evans! Lily Evans!”

She stopped walking and turned to see Sirius Black jogging towards her.

“Something I can do for you, Black?” She asked flatly.

“What are you up to right now?” He asked, by way of answering her question.

“Er, free period. Was going to try to catch up on reading for Charms...”

“You mean, like you tried to this morning before breakfast? I’m pretty sure you spent an hour on the same paragraph.”

“Did Potter tell you that? Or has watching me silently become a group activity?”

“James will be delighted and embarrassed to know you’ve clocked that, so cheers. I’d be happy to make the case for my best mate and to explain his creepy new choice of courtship, but that’s not why I’m here.” Sirius rattled off, smirking.

“Oh? And why are you here?” Lily asked, slightly exasperated.

“You need to have a laugh with a mate. Or a deep conversation with a mate. Whatever you want, really. I just know you’ve been a real mess lately,” he paused slightly, perhaps expecting a telling off. All he got was a slight shrug of agreement from Lily. “And I know what it’s like, being a real mess. And I know that what you need is to spend your free period with a mate.”

“And have you brought me one? Perhaps your best mate?”

“Ah no, James would be rubbish right now. We voted and your mate is me!”

“You. You, Sirius Black, are going to pal around with me?” Lily asked, cocking an eyebrow. “You are aware we hardly speak, aren’t you, Black?”

“Yes, yes, that point was made. I certainly thought Remus would be the clear choice, but it was an unanimous decision by the end. We were meant to be friends, Evans.”

“Oh, really?” Lily asked, putting her book in her bag. “Also...unanimous? Remus voted? For you?”

“Once again, I, too, was surprised, but now you’re stuck with me, Evans. So you should decide what you’re more in the mood for, complete distraction or deep conversation?”

“Is my Charms reading an option?”

“Nope!” Sirius said grinning. “Although we could flip a coin, if you’re terribly torn.”

“Ah, tempting. But no, I suppose I pick deep conversation, as I hardly trust whatever you have up your sleeve as a distraction. Although, if we’re to have a deep conversation, may I request a butter beer, or perhaps something stiffer.”

“Miss Evans!” Sirius gasped in mock indignation. “I am shocked that you would dare ingest alcohol before classes are done for the day.”

“I mean, I only have history of magic left. While I usually wouldn't, I hardly feel that sobriety is crucial. If anything, being a little tipsy might make class slightly more interesting.”

“Positively scandalous.” Sirius said, grinning at her. She smiled back despite herself. “Lucky for you, Miss Prefect, I happen to have a wee bit of fire whiskey on me at the moment.”

He reached into his rucksack and paused for a moment, staring hard at Lily.

“This isn’t some trick where you’ll write me up after, is it?”

“No,” Lily smiled again. “Although I reserve the right to write you up depending on how this goes.”

“Ah, fair enough. No faith in me whatsoever.”

“Not no faith. Just well-informed faith. Faith on top of a first-hand knowledge of your previous behavior.” Lily teased.

“Yes, yes. I’ve been very bad. I’m well aware.” Sirius said, handing a flask over to Lily. The flask had been a Christmas present from Peter and Sirius had taken to carrying it everywhere, although this was the first time in months he’d actually broken it out to drink. Lily took a long swig and made a scrunched up face.

“Oh, Merlin,” she sputtered, passing the flask back. Sirius took a drink and, to Lily’s enjoyment, made an equally silly face. He passed it back to her and they walked out to the courtyard together, passing the flask back and forth and laughing at each other’s attempts to drink with any dignity.

“Okay. So what’s been going on with you lately?” Sirius asked, offering her the final sip from the flask. He watched as she took the flask and paused, sighing deeply before throwing her head back to finish the drink off. She cringed and shook her head.

“Where to start?” She asked, laughing drily. “Er, well. I have no friends. Well, you know that or you wouldn’t be here.”

Sirius thought about jumping in to contradict her but decided to wait and see if she’d keep talking.

“Let’s see, my sister hates me. I’m absolute crap at transfiguration. And our world seems to be pretty much headed into straight out war, so there’s that.”

Sirius nodded and looked at her. “Okay,” he said. “Now, some of that is definitely true. But, and I mean this with the utmost deference to your own experience, you know some of that is total rubbish.”

“We are definitely heading into a war-“

“Oh, yeah, that’s true.” Sirius said. “Sorry, I’ll clarify. You do have friends, although I will concede that you’ve lost your best mate, and that - despite my...opinion of him - is bloody awful. And you’re not absolute crap at Transfiguration.”

Lily laughed a little, in spite of herself. She looked down and asked quietly, “It is bloody awful.”

Sirius simply nodded and waited. She was amazed at how easy it was to talk to him and felt that it couldn’t be solely due to the fire whiskey.

“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t regret cutting ties with him. I don’t care how shit the two of you can be to him, no amount of provocation should have made him say what he said. And we’re not going to be in school much longer - soon the sides we’ve picked aren’t just about who we sit with, they’re life or death. Especially for me.” She sat in silence for a moment. “And it wasn’t a healthy relationship. Not for a long time. You know, he always made me feel a little foolish for wanting to be friends with anyone in Gryffindor. It’s why - you’re wrong, you know. Alice and Mary and Marlene and all them, they aren’t my friends. I mean, I like them and they like me but they’re a group. They’re friends and I’m just... there.”

“To mimic my best mate for a moment, you, Lily Evans, are never just there. You may not be close with them but everyone wants to be friends with you. You’re almost irritatingly likable. They’ve just been waiting for you to ask.”

“My goodness. Sirius Black, that sounded like a compliment.”

“Eh, you don’t spend as much time with James as I do and not wind up with some favorable opinions of you. And, er, if you don’t mind my saying so, he’s a pretty clear solution to your transfiguration problem. He’s top in the year there and a pretty good teacher as long as you can keep him in line, which obviously you have no issue with.”

“Well yes, I did think about asking Potter but he’s been - as I mentioned before - rather quiet lately. He, er.... he stares quite a bit. But he hasn’t spoken to me since, well, last year at the lake.”

Lily glanced at Sirius to see if she could read his expression. She hadn’t meant to broach the subject but she felt as though Potter was scared of her. While she certainly didn’t miss his constant badgering for her to go out with him, she didn’t enjoy this other extreme. James was in every class with her and best friends with one of the few people she felt remotely close to anymore. Two of them, now, I suppose, She thought to herself. Sirius seemed to be debating saying something. Lily shook her head lightly.

“They’ve just been waiting for me to ask? What does that mean? I just walk up to Mary MacDonald and say, ‘Hullo there, Mary. I’m finally ready to be close with you all. You may welcome me into your friend group now’?”

Sirius laughed “Well first of all, I’d lead with McKinnon. I’d say you could probably lose the speech and maybe, I dunno, just sit with her in Potions.”

“Sit with Marlene in Potions.”

“Yeah, well. I happen to know that Marlene is a bit desperate for a new Potions partner. That’s one of the classes Mary and Alice are partners for. Marlene used to sit with Worthington, but he’s started seeing that other Ravenclaw, Florence something, so now they want to sit together. But Marlene doesn’t want to get stuck with anyone who’s naff at Potions.”

Lily blinked. “I didn’t realize there was so much to know about our seating in Potions. How do you know all this?”

“Partially because I get bored easily, partially because Marlene and I have gotten a bit, er, closer recently.”

“Ah, I see.” Lily grinned. “And why haven’t you partnered up with her, then?”

“As I said,” Sirius grinned back. “She doesn’t want someone who’s naff at Potions. I’m easily distracted. She likes to actually, you know, work. Like a certain swotty Prefect I know...” He waggled his eyebrows at Lily and she smiled.

“All right. I’ll sit with Marlene in Potions.”

“Excellent. One problem solved.”

“Indeed.”

“Now I don’t know much about your sister,” Sirius said, changing the subject and leaning against the nearest arch. Lily was a bit surprised that he’d circled back to her family before the unfinished discussion of James Potter. “But I do know a lot about hateful family members. So while I can’t necessarily fix this one, I can at least commiserate.”

“Ah, yes. Of course that’s why Remus voted for you.”

“It certainly was.”

“Remus always says an unsolvable problem is only tolerable with company. And I know how frustrating he finds venting to someone who can’t, er, fully relate. I think he once said ‘empathy can only go so far’ on a particularly snippy day.”

“Ah,” Sirius said, narrowing his eyes for a moment. Lily realized he was trying to suss out how much she knew about Remus.

“Though I imagine it’s a little easier to find someone else with a contentious family life than someone who could, you know, fully relate to Remus.”

“So you do know.” Sirius said, suddenly a little uncertain and untrusting. “Snape told you, I suppose?”

“Oh I guessed long before and, to be fair, he never actually confirmed it. I was sure you all knew I knew!”

“You guessed it?” Sirius sounded half impressed, half terrified.

“Don’t worry, I truly don’t think anyone else has. It took Sev forever to get there and he was working at it for ages. Although I will admit he may have gotten it a bit faster had I not been throwing him off course a bit. But still,” she continued, eager to reassure Sirius, “I have never heard anyone else so much as suspect. Most people just feel badly about his mum and don’t want to bring it up. Right clever choice If you ask me.”

“How did you guess? When did you guess? And why on earth would you think we knew?” Sirius sputtered.

“To answer your first two questions, I had a bit of a crush on Remus during fourth year. We sat together in Ancient Runes, and we studied together,” she found herself blushing slightly even though she hadn’t fancied Remus in years. Sirius looked deeply amused but mostly still focused on how she uncovered such a secret. “And, as I was perhaps a tad more focused on him, I noticed that his mum’s illness always lined up with the full moon. And then I noticed a new scar and put together a pretty good guess. I wasn’t quite certain until fifth year, because we do our rounds together. He was always weak and sick before the moon and often injured after. And I assumed you knew because I cover for him whenever the full moon comes up. I mean, I didn’t think you all thought I was suddenly happy to lie to McGonagall and Dumbledore for no reason.”

“Er, no. I mean, I suppose Remus was a little surprised at first but then James wouldn’t shut up about how ‘of course you’d cover because you’re a great friend and how lucky Remus was to have you as a friend and on and on’ so we just never brought it up again.”

Lily blushed a little again, and prayed Sirius didn’t notice. He did.

[the-void-i-scream-into]

White Tulips - a JunJin fanfic 2/3

Full Story: Part 1, Part 3

Hello Everyone! I hope you are all happy and healthy. Part 2 of my Junjin fanfic is finally up. Thank you so much to the beautiful and wonderful people who liked my fanfic. I am so sorry I have not been responding to your lovely comments. I had exams so I was really busy but I will get to them now. It took me a long time to post this next part because I wanted to finish both Part 2 and 3. I’ll be posting the other part too once I’ve proofread everything

As always, this chapter is dedicated to the Shooters GC (which I haven’t checked in so long, I’m so sorry)  🙈 🙈

Please do be warned, this does get a little dark. But it will pay off in Part 3, I promise.

Pairing: Kang Sujin x Han Seojun

Romantic Trope: Haters to friends to lovers

Word Count: 13.5k

Rating: T

TRIGGER WARNING: Some of the themes in this story are a little dark, specifically in section iii. Please be warned. I’ve added a summary for section iii in section iv so you can skip it if needed.

PART 2

i.

They both spoke at the same time.

“Ya Kang Sujin…”

“Ya Han Seojun…”

“What the hell happened?”

Seojun had been in a strange state of mind all day. First it was waking up in the enemy’s bed, but that part he had completely blocked out. Then it was the massive hangover, the effects of which he was still reeling from. On top of that he had received a scolding for being late to practice, which caused him to be late to his commercial shoot, which caused him to be late for his recording session which was when he had been informed about his scandal.

Seojun normally didn’t care for rumors that spread about him. He relied on his performance to speak for itself; the people online with their uninformed opinions didn’t matter.

“But why did it have to be her?!” He had groaned when he first read the articles. But then he asked himself seriously, “Why did it have to be her?”

It all seemed too convenient. Additionally, she had been the one to drag him for drinks and then back to her apartment.

Was this another one of her schemes? What would she gain from doing this? Maybe it was because he was on to her and could see the truth about her and now she wanted him gone. Yes, it must have been that. Or was it not? Was his theory too farfetched? Maybe he was being too harsh. Maybe he was misunderstanding the situation.

Seojun felt conflicted. On the one hand, it would have been so easy to just blame Sujin and keep on hating her like he wanted to. On the other hand, he could hear Suho in his head, warning him about being too judgmental. Seojun normally trusted his instincts with everything but this time his own instincts were confused. Should be giving Sujin the benefit of the doubt? 

Seojun knew that if he needed answers, he would need to go to the source.

“What the hell happened?” They both asked each other at the same time but neither had the answer.

“How the hell would I know? It was your apartment.”

“The pictures were obviously taken by someone was obsessed with you.” Sujin fumed.

“Are you saying this is my fault?”

“Then are you saying it’s mine?”

“I’m not the one who took us out drinking then brought me back home to her apartment!”

“I’m not the one with the crazy saesangs!”

“My fans are not crazy! They are way better than arrogant women with a princess complex like you!”

“Don’t call me princess.” Sujin said dangerously.

“Or what? You’ll get me drunk and back at your apartment again?”

“Ah shut up, you man-child!” Sujin hung up and Seojun flung his phone across the room where it bounced onto the couch. He was seething.

“Aish!” Seojun kicked the air.

“Did you talk to Sujin?” Heekyung’s calm voice startled Seojun.

“What? Oh, Noona.” Seojun gulped.

“How was she? Was she okay?”

“Umm…” Seojun blinked

“She must have been shaken. Facing something like this can be very upsetting.”

Seojun’s shoulders deflated. “Uh, yeah…” He hadn’t considered that.

“Did she agree to give a statement to help clear up this mess?”

Oh right, I was supposed to ask her…

Heekyung continued, “I do have good news. We’ve found the person who took the photographs. So he won’t be sharing them with anyone else.”

“You have?”

“Yes. It was unfortunate. A photographer happened to be there, just as you were leaving. He actually recognized you from your voice. Talk about having bad luck.”

Seojun frowned. So, it wasn’t Sujin.

“So will Sujin do it? We just need a simple statement. She can release a post on her socials and we’ll take care of the media articles.”

Seojun rubbed the back of his head sheepishly. “Um, I don’t think she’ll agree.” . Especially not after the blaming match that just happened. “Can’t we just clarify things on our end? Not get her involved?”

Heekyung smiled with a twinkle in her eye, “Oh I get it. You don’t want her to feel burdened.”

Seojun could tell what she was implying. “Ah-nee! Its not that at all!” His voice was pitched a little too high.

Heekyung laughed, “I’ve been at this for longer than you, Seojun-ah. You can be straight with me.”

“It’s not like that! I don’t care about Kang Sujin at all!”

But Heekyung wasn’t listening. “Just be careful. Your career has just started. You can’t afford scandals like these. People will turn against you in an instant, you know?”

Seojun swallowed. He knew all too well how people could turn against him in an instant, like the way thy did with Seyeon. But he wanted to believe that he would be able to face them.

“Don’t worry. I’ll be careful.”

Heekyung nodded. “Good. Now I’ll go tell our PR team to release a statement about you and Sujin being just friends.” Seojun nodded gratefully. “I think the fact that you went to school together will help. Hopefully people will buy it when you tell them nothing happened between you two.” Heekyung winked as she walked away.

“It’s not like that!” Seojun called after her.

ii.

The situation subsided as quickly as it had risen. Move Entertainment published their official statement about how it was all a misunderstanding. That Seojun had only been visiting his friend from high school and the fact that the friend was also a mutual with rising online beauty guru Lim Jukyung helped establish the connection. Seojun had been glad that Jukyung had taken those selfies with Sujin with Seojun in the background otherwise people might have just taken the statement as an excuse.

What annoyed Seojun about the whole situation was not his reputation or the online speculation but how everyone else kept teasing him about it. This was made especially worse when they were all gathered around for drinks, including his own squad, Chorong and Co., who were eyeing Sujin with a mixture of adoration—that made them stare at her, and fear—that kept them from talking to her.

“Ooh, Han Seojun you better not drink too much or you’ll end up in Sujin’s apartment again.” Taehoon teased. Seojun gave him the death glare while Sujin made a disgusted face. Everyone else laughed.

“Guys! Don’t be mean.” Jukyung’s voice went unheard among the collective chatter.

“Han Seojun, I can see you’ve been keeping a very close eye on Kang Sujin.” Chorong whispered in his ear. Seojun elbowed his ribs.

“Pay up, Sujin didn’t kill him.” Suho asked from Suah.

“You guys had a bet?” Sujin asked icily. Seojun almost admired the scathing look Sujin gave Suho as she eyed the money being exchanged.

Suho’s and Suah’s hands froze right when they were exchanging the bills.

“No?” Suho said weakly.

“Kang Su, I bet on you okay?” Suah defended.

“Ah is that so? Well then you’re off the hook.”

Suah relaxed while Suho blinked forty times, sweating. “Kang Sujin. It was just a joke okay?”

Sujin just put her hand forward and Suho silently put the money in her hands.

“Wah, just 5 dollars? I’m worth 5 million you know.”

“Sure you are. And I’m the King of England.” Seojun said under his breath. Kang Sujin and her princess complex.

“What was that?” Sujin put her hand to her ear, “I’m sorry. I couldn’t hear you over the apology you owe me.”

“What apology? I owe you nothing.” Seojun retorted, fully aware that he had actually come to this gathering to apologize to Sujin about the scandal and how he had behaved over the phone. That plan had since been abandoned. 

For some reason, he could not spit out the three words ‘I am sorry’ to Kang Sujin. No matter how much he wanted to. There was just something about her that irritated him to the point of misbehavior.

Sujin clicked her tongue at Seojun but said nothing. Instead, reaching into her bag, she pulled out a notebook and a pen.

“Here, sign this.” She ordered, pushing the notebook and pen in his face.

“What is it?”

For Kang Sujin, the biggest issue from the scandal had not been the online noteriety and not even the teasing, but the fact that everyone in her office now knew that she was friends with an idol and had demanded that she get them his autographs.

“Its for my friends at work.”

“You have friends?” Seojun said with mock surprise.

“You know I was just as shocked to learn that you have actual fans. I always thought Suho was the one buying all your albums.” Sujin said.

“Of course I have fans! I am super popular you know!” Seojun defended, pulling the lapels of his jacket with pride.

“Yes I’m sure you’re veeeery popular.” Sujin’s words dripped with sarcasm. Seojun’s pride deflated like a balloon. “Just sign. And write something nice too.” She ordered. Seojun quietly picked up the notebook, not because he was nice but because he felt he owed her this much.

“You know my autographs are worth a lot of money, right?”

Sujin made a face. “Just sign the damn thing so that the girls at work stop harassing me about you.”

Seojun smiled as he signed. His fans were awesome. “How many?” He asked.

“Seven.”

He signed seven pages, each with a personalized note.

“Be nice to my fans at work.”

“I’m always nice.”

“Sure you are.” Seojun replied skeptically. He handed Sujin the notebook. “I better not find you selling these online.” He warned.

“I’d rather starve than live off of your autographs.” Sujin bit back.

“Okay, okay! No more fighting!” Jukyung pointed between the two. “Lets all enjoy our drinks in peace.” She looked pointedly at Sujin who pointed her chin at Seojun with a ‘he-started-it’ scowl.

“Han Seo, is it okay for you to meet us in public like this?” Suah asked. They weren’t in the usual private dining area that they frequented when it was just the core group of friends. They were out where everyone could see.

“We can always hang out at our place, if you want.” Suho offered. Seojun quickly shook his head. Seeing Suho and Jukyung together outside was one thing. Seeing how they lived together was quite another. Knowing they lived together was painful enough. He didn’t want even more fuel for his imagination.

“Its no trouble at all.” He put on a smile for Suho who seemed satisfied. But, to his surprise, he found Kang Sujin giving him a strange look. She chuckled to herself but said nothing.

As they all said their goodbyes, Seojun went out the back so that he could leave in privacy. He planned on taking the long route today. A bike ride would help him clear his mind.

“Han Seojun, wait up!”

He stopped just as he was about to put his helmet on. He was surprised to find Sujin there. 

“What? Need more autographs?” He asked, cockily smiling.

Sujin made a sickened expression. “Not at all. I just… I had something to say.” She hesitated.

“Well say it.”

She cleared her throat. “It was neither of our faults. The scandal. It wasn’t that it was my building or your fans. It was someone shitty who didn’t respect our privacy. That’s… that’s all I wanted to say.”

Sujin waited for his response. Seojun could feel his face burning. He should have been the one to say all this to her, and yet here she was apologizing to him instead.

“I’msorryforwhathappened.” He said too quickly and too quietly.

“What?”

“Nothing!” Seojun shoved his helmet on to hide his embarrassed face. 

“Drive safe.” Sujin said.

“Yeah, whatever.” He rode away.

Kang Sujin was just glad she was able to spit out the words she had been meaning to say all night long. It had been weighing on her ever since they had spoken on the phone. She had promised herself a long time ago that she would try to be a nicer person and for the most part she had accomplished that. But that Han Seojun just had a way of bringing her old self back to the surface. And that bothered her.

It doesn’t matter, she told herself. She would learn how to get along with Han Seojun. It was only a matter of practice. And besides, it wasn’t as if she had to be overtly obvious about it. She just had to tolerate him.

For Jukyung. It’s for Jukyung. She would want us to get along, she lied to herself. The truth was, that Kang Sujin believed that she didn’t have a choice.

Everyone loved Han Seojun, even her best friends who had never paid much attention to him back in high school. It was all because Sujin had been absent for so long. She had missed a huge part of everyone’s lives while Han Seojun had been there for all of it.

Sujin wondered whether, if it came to choosing between her and Seojun, they would choose her. A part of her believed they wouldn’t.

She had made such a mess of things before and left things unresolved for too long. She was certain that things would never go back to the way they had been, not fully anyway. There would always be a part of them that wouldn’t trust her. And there would always be a part of her that would be heavy with guilt.   

“Ah-nee-ya.” She reassured herself. “I don’t need to worry about this.”

She was glad that the whole matter of being mistaken as Han Seojun’s girlfriend had been settled. She laughed at the very idea.

“Me and Han Seojun dating. Ah, how funny.”

Sujin had heard of horror stories about how such scandals ruined people’s lives and got them shunned by society. Thank fully, none of that had happened. Her precious peace was safe again.

Sujin could see her future now; a life where she worked hard at her non-profit, where she shared dinners and lunches with her friends and laughed about the old days, where she wasn’t told she wasn’t good enough, where she did what she wanted instead of being forced to do what her father wanted. Yes, Kang Sujin could see her like ahead—a life where she was finally happy.

iii.

At first Sujin thought she was being paranoid. But her co-workers seemed to be acting stand-offish with her, with some outright avoiding her. They weren’t replying to her as enthusiastically they used to and were having hushed conversations that immediately stopped when she approached them. They even made plans for lunch without including her.

“Is something wrong?” Sujin asked one of them.

“Not at all. Shall we get to work?” It sounded more like a snub than reassurance.

Sujin also felt the hairs on her neck rise from time to time, as if she could feel someone watching her. But when she turned around, everyone would look away.

Convincing herself that it was all in her head, Sujin ignored it and went on with her work.

But then it happened again at the convenience store. She heard her name being said in whispers behind her. When she turned, she found a couple of teenagers quickly putting away their phone. Despite the anxiety bubbling in her stomach, Sujin dismissed the incident and went home.

Normally after a long day at work, Sujin would throw her phone away, have dinner while watching TV, shower and go to sleep. But today had been strange and she was feeling out of sorts. She needed a distraction to help her calm down.

So, after a shower, she settled back on her couch with her dinner and her phone. Jukyung normally posted a new make-up tutorial by this day of the week. Sujin loved watching her transform herself from an ordinary looking girl to a stunning beauty, while explaining each step.

To Kang Sujin, Jukyung was an artist who used her face as a canvas. Sujin herself had learned a lot just from watching Jukyung. She was excited about what she would learn today.

Sujin dismissed the dozens of Instagram notifications on her phone. Suah was always tagging her and messaging her about some post or the other. Sujin would get to them later. As Sujin searched for Jukyung’s channel, her Instagram notifications kept dinging. She put it on mute and played the video.

This time, Jukyung was giving a tutorial on American style makeup and how it was different from Korean style. Sujin grinned all the way through the video as Jukyung talked through her tutorial. Sujin scrolled through the comments as she watched.

My beauty Queen! I love you!

I tried your winged liner look and was able to finally do it for myself. Thank you.

I use the exact same foundation but it doesn’t work for my skin. But looks great on you. <3

You didn’t mention the eyeliner you used here. Can you please add it in the description?

This is why I have trust issues. She looks like a completely different person. This is fraud.

Sujin frowned at the last comment. “She looks beautiful either way.” She said angrily aloud as she typed it in, punching the buttons as if she could punch the commentor. Sujin scrolled further.

Who else came here after reading the Soompi article?

This comment had a lot of likes and comments. Maybe Jukyung was getting famous enough to be reported by entertainment websites now. Sujin smiled proudly.

Lim Jukyung, yours is the best makeup channel here!

Saranghae unnie

I was so sad to learn that you were bullied as a kid. So glad that you’ve found success now.

Sujin swallowed thickly. It would always bother her to know that she had once exploited Jukyung’s past bullying for her own gain. The fact that she had once contributed to her bullying would always fuel Sujin’s self hatred. She was just glad that Jukyung had moved on from her past and had become confident in herself. And more so, had found a community online that adored her.

As Sujin scrolled down some more, she noticed that most of the comments were talking about how Jukyung was a survivor of bullying.

“Mwo-ya…”

Wow, I had no idea this girl was so brave. Bravo!!!

I’m a survivor of bullying too. Its nice to know I’m not alone.

I bet her bully is watching this now and regretting what they did.

I don’t watch makeup tutorials. Came here cuz of the bullying scandal. But stayed cuz she is so good.

The last comment made Sujin stop. “Bullying scandal?”

Sujin went to Naver and searched for scandals involving Lim Jukyung. The first few links were Jukyung’s most popular videos but beneath that were a slew of articles from slanderous gossip sites.

Girl from Han Seojun Scandal Turns Out to be a Bully

Online Star Lim Jukyung Gets Involved in Han Seojun Scandal

Han Seojun’s Alleged Girlfriend was a Bully in High School

“What?!” Sujin stood up on her feet in shock. With shaking hands, she went through the articles one by one. Somehow, someone had uncovered the post from her high school community page that had revealed what she had done to Jukyung. Except they had gotten their facts mixed up and had reported that Sujin had been the one to bully Lim Jukyung about her looks.

That girl is so despicable.

Han Seojun is hanging out with a girl like her? I can’t believe it. I actually used to like him.

I bet this girl seduced Oppa. Don’t dislike him!

I am so glad they’re not actually dating.

Her face is so evil. And she’s uglier than Lim Jukyung!

I bet Han Seojun was fooled by her. She feels like the type who uses her looks to manipulate men.

People like her should kill themselves.

Guys! I found her Inssa!

It really is her! This is authentic!

The room began to close in on Sujin. She immediately opened Instagram where her account was flooded with comments and direct messages from people either telling her to kill herself or threatening to kill her.

Her heart was beating so fast it felt like she would throw it up. She was equal parts shaken and angry. So many people were after her but she hated that these people felt they had a right to treat her this way.

Sujin opened up the messages on Instagram and began firing back to her haters, starting with the most recent messages.

Get off of my account before I report you.

No thanks, I’m not going to kill myself.

Threatening me will only get you sued.

You don’t have to follow me if you don’t like me.

“These assholes think they can bully me online? Well, they’ve got another thing coming.” Sujin growled through clenched teeth as she typed away with all her anger.

I did not bully her!

I made a mistake!

I apologized!

People immediately started responding.

You’re not even going to admit your mistake?

OMG! I can’t believe you actually replied!

Are you honestly defending what you did?

You can’t talk like that to me! I’m going to tell everyone you’re a total b****

How can you be so audacious after you bullied someone? Just kill yourself.

Do us all a favor and kill yourself.

Kill yourself.

KILL YOURSELF.

Sujin screamed in frustration and threw her phone away. It smashed into the wall and landed with a sickening thud. Her hands suddenly felt clammy. Clammy and sticky and sweaty and dirty, dirty, dirty. So dirty that they smelled.

She ran into the bathroom and furiously scrubbed her hands clean. Once, twice, three times. No matter how many times she washed or how hard she scrubbed, the dirty stench of the hate she had just received wouldn’t wash off.

Her hands became all red and felt raw and exposed. But she kept on washing till she ran out of soap. She fell to the floor, suddenly weak and exhausted. The cool tiles felt nice and it was then that she noticed how hot she felt.

Calm down. I have to calm down. She breathed in, then out. In, then out. She could hear her heart in her ears. Pounding and pounding. The walls were closing in. The messages on her Instagram suddenly had voices that shouted in her mind.

Kill yourself, kill yourself, kill yourself.

A ringing broke through it all. First Sujin thought it was in her head but no, it was from the living room.

Her cellphone. Lim Jukyung was calling.

How could she face Jukyung? What would she say to her? Wouldn’t Jukyung say the same as everyone else?

Sujin cut the call. Notifications from Instagram were still coming in. She deactivated her account and deleted the app.

Lim Jukyung’s name lit up her phone again.

She turned it off and flopped down on her sofa, head pounding.

Her fragile little hope for a good life was now shattered completely. She could hear her father now. Hear him yell at her that she was useless, that she was pathetic, that she was stupid and inferior. Unable to beat even Lee Suho.

Kill yourself.

Her father had never told her this, but he might as well have. Even now it was his voice saying it over and over in her mind. It was his angry stare she felt on her back.

How would she face people now? People would hate her now that they knew what she had done. And her co-workers…. Of course they knew. That’s why everyone had been acting so strange.

This all felt so cruel and unfair. She had been so good these past couple of years. She didn’t want all of it to just be taken away like this.

But didn’t you do the same thing to Jukyung? Her father’s voice taunted. She was a good person too, wasn’t she? You’re nothing but a piece of trash.

I bet you think that you destroyed Lim Jukyung, Seojun’s voice said, but you’ve only destroyed yourself.

iv.

SUMMARY of iii: Because of the Han Seojun scandal, people find out about the community post that revealed what Sujin had done to Jukyung and people online start thinking that Sujin bullied Jukyung. They harrass her and it becomes a scandal of its own.

It was chaos at Move Entertainment.

“What the hell happened?! You told me you settled this!” The director threw a magazine in Heekyung’s face. Seojun saw this through the glass door and barged in.

“Is that how you treat your employees?” He demanded angrily.

“Get out. Get. Him. Out! Get him out of this company for good measure!”

Heekyung pushed Seojun out before he could do anything else, dragging him as far away as possible. “Don’t be an idiot. You can’t just barge in like that.”

“But he’s being an asshole. Should I just stand around and let you take it?”

“This is the adult world Han Seojun. Actions have consequences here.” Heekyung said reasonably. “And you’re the reason he’s so mad. A bullying scandal is serious. We’ve even publicly acknowledged that you and Sujin are friends. This doesn’t reflect well on you.”

“The articles are lying. Sujin didn’t bully Jukyung in high school. She just—”

“I know exactly what she did. You think I don’t know about what happened to my own sister?” For a brief moment, Heekyung’s professional demeanor slipped into anger. But she recovered quickly. “It infuriates me that my sister’s past is being brought up like this. But I have a job to do and I need you to cooperate with me. Okay?”

Seojun exhaled. “What are we going to do?”

“Nothing. The situation will sort itself out. You will need to keep a low profile, however.”

Seojun exhaled. “Noona, we need to set the record straight. Sujin is—”

“Sujin isn’t represented by Move, you are. None of us here can do anything about what is happening to her.”

Seojun clenched his jaw. “Have you seen what is being said about her?”

Heekyung looked away. “Its not like I enjoy saying this. I’m only telling you what I was told when I made the same request. She’s not represented by us. She’s not our concern.”

“Was Seyeon not your concern either?”

Heekyung had nothing to say to that. “I have to go back in. You stay here, arachi? Don’t do anything rash and…” she yanked Seojun’s phone from his hand.

“Ah!” Seojun tried to get it but Heekyung had the phone out of reach.

“I’m keeping this for now.” She said and left.

Seojun exclaimed in frustration, running his hands through his hair. Despite the animosity he had towards Kang Sujin, this kind of exposure to such vitriol online didn’t sit well with him. Kang Sujin deserved a lot of things, but she didn’t deserve this.

He knew Sujin was tough. But this kind of incident would make anyone crumble. He just hoped she didn’t do anything stupid.

v.

“Sujin-ah. Can you explain your side of things?”

Of course her office had heard about everything. Apparently her past misdeeds were a trending topic online. Her supervisor had called her in as soon as Sujin had shown up.

“Can you tell me what happened?” Her supervisor asked.

Sujin inhaled, “When I was in high school, I fell in love with a boy. But he had a girlfriend… she was a friend of mine. I got jealous… and petty. I published an unflattering video of her on our school’s online community. She had been bullied in her previous school because of her looks. So the video was especially traumatizing to her. I was responsible for what happened in Saebom High, but I wasn’t involved in anything that happened before that.”

Sujin looked at her hands, still red and raw, “I have made up with her since then. I’ve apologized. We’re both friends now. And I’m not a teenager anymore.”

Something stung Sujin’s hand. Water droplets? No, tears. She hadn’t noticed when she had started crying. But she kept her face straight even when the tears didn’t stop. She looked at her supervisor.

“I am ashamed of what I did. If I could take it all back… you have no idea what I would do to take it all back.” Sujin furiously wiped away her tears. She hated crying in front of anyone. “I love working here. I really do.”

Even as she was saying the words, she knew what was coming. Of course her company wouldn’t keep her on. Even non-profits couldn’t afford bad reputations and the fact that Move Entertainment had worked with her company for a lot of benefits hadn’t escaped her notice either.

“Sujin-ah.” Her co-worker said, peeking from the cubicle wall as Sujin packed up her things.

“What?”

“I never thanked you. For getting me Han Seojun’s signature.” The woman said meekly.

Sujin gave a small smile. “You’re welcome.”

The woman handed her a bunch of sticky notes. “These are goodbyes from everyone. We know you’re not getting a farewell party so we thought you should have our thoughts with you.”

Sujin looked down at the brightly colored notes that contained encouraging messages from some of her co-workers. Her dismissal had been so swift that she hadn’t even been given the chance to say anything.

“If its worth anything… I don’t believe any of it.”

Sujin smiled gratefully this time. “Thanks, Chulhee-yah. I appreciate it.”

vi.

Sujin was both grateful and surprised by how much her friends had reached out. Apparently they had showed up to her place multiple times to see if she was okay, given that she was not answering any of her calls. Sadly, Sujin had not been there to receive them. She had gone to her aunt’s place to get away from everything.

That had not proved to be a good idea.

“Have. You. Lost. Your. Mind!!” Each word was punctuated with a smack from a slipper. Her mother, the once elegant and graceful Mrs. Kang, chased her daughter around in the most inelegant and ungraceful manner. Mrs. Kang’s sister tried to save Sujin by stepping in between but Mrs. Kang still managed to get a few whacks in.

“How could you let a boy stay over at your place?!”

“Omma! That’s what you choose to focus on?!”

“Yes! How could you have disgraced your family this way? And not just any boy, an idol? What the hell were you doing with an idol? Come here.”

This was one fight Sujin would never win. Her mother was not a force of reason when she was this angry. And it took a lot for her to get this angry.

Sujin didn’t mind these smacks. They came from a place of love and worry. Eventually her mother calmed down enough to address the other issue with Sujin. She took her daughter in her arms and wailed.

“How could those people be so mean to my daughter?”

“Omma, I can’t breathe.” Her mother smushed Sujin to herself.

“My poor girl. My poor baby girl.”

In the end, Sujin was glad she had come back to her aunt’s place. It gave her the break she had needed. Away from all of the noise of her online haters, Sujin found she could finally breathe. She found great comfort in her mother’s arms and her aunt’s assurances her that everything would be fine.

However, the dread of returning to her normal life still loomed over her head. Sujin felt her throat close up every time she imagined going back to her apartment. Would the people point and laugh at her on the street? Would she be able to live a normal life from now on?

It was strange how deeply all of this had affected her. Even now, as Sujin walked from the grocery store to her aunt’s house, she felt the paranoia that people were talking about her, pointing and laughing, even though they weren’t. 

“Sujin-ah.”

And now it felt like they were actually calling out to her.

“Kang Su!”

Sujin turned in surprise, ready to fight whoever had called her. “Who is it?”

“Who do you think? It’s Jukyungie! ” A human mass known as Lim Jukyung ran towards Kang Sujin with arms wide open. The girls hugged each other tightly, Jukyung grinning with her gummy smile while Sujin stood, mouth open in shock.

Not far behind, were Suah and Taehoon.

“Ya Kang Su, at least answer your phone! Do you know how worried I was?” Suah scolded.

Sujin laughed, almost tearing up. She couldn’t believe this was happening. She had feared that her friends would turn away and curse at her after she had avoided them. But here they were, all gathered just for her.

“How’d you find me?” She asked the three. They all turned to Suho who stood there smiling.

“Hey Sujin. Have you been well?”

Of course, Suho knew where her aunt lived.

“What well? You all know what happened.” Sujin replied, not bothering to pretend that she was fine.

“Ya! What have you done to your hands.” Jukyung held up Sujin’s scabby hands with worry.

“It’ll heal.” Sujin smiled. Maybe it was the massive hug she had received, or the fact that her friends had traveled so far away to meet her, but suddenly, Sujin felt relieved. It was as if the entire situation was trivial and that she could see light at the end of the tunnel.

“Of course we know what happened.” Suho replied.

“And we know exactly how to fix it.” Jukyung grinned wider.

vii.

On the screen, in front of a ring light she had set up at her home, Lim Jukyung stood with a gummy smile and a warm welcome.

“Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. This is Lim Jukyung here with a new make up tutorial for all of my beautiful viewers. Uh, today I have a new kind of tutorial for you all. But before we begin, there is something that I think has been on all of our minds that needs to be addressed.”

Jukyung motioned to someone standing behind the camera to come forward. Kang Sujin entered the frame awkwardly, not knowing where exactly to look. The way Jukyung had set up her studio for this live event was to have the camera, the mirror with the ring light and her laptop screen facing her so that she could do her make up while also reading the comments. And while Jukyung was used to having all of this equipment focused on her, Sujin was not.

“Introduce yourself.” Jukyung said softly, nudging Sujin with her elbow.

“Ah, yes.” Sujin cleared her throat. “Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.” She waved robotically while staring in the camera like a deer caught in the headlights.

Jukyung couldn’t help but laugh. “Ya, Kang Su, are you afraid of the camera?”

“Ah-neeeee, it’s just so unnatural.” Sujin quickly countered.

“Don’t worry, the camera doesn’t bite.” Jukyung put an arm around her friend’s waist. “Okay everyone now that my friend Kang Sujin is here we can talk about the recent—”

“Lim Ju, maybe we shouldn’t do this.” Sujin interrupted anxiously.

“Huh? But it’s already live.” Jukyung pointed at the camera.

“What?” Sujin on in panic.

Jukyung continued, “So everyone, as you all may have heard, Sujin and I went to the same high school together. However, before that I attended another high school where I was bullied for my looks. Sujin and I did not know each other back then and she had nothing to do with that part of my life so the allegations that she bullied me are completely false. That was another person and that person is no longer in my life.”

Sujin cut in, “However, it is true that I revealed Jukyung’s past to our school and posted an unflattering video of her online.”

Jukyung nodded, looking serious. “I won’t lie and say it was easy for me to have that happen. But… both of us have changed since then. We have grown up and grown past that time.”

The girls took each other’s hands in solidarity.

Jukyung continued, “I’m not the girl I used to be. Neither is Sujin. And while she did do something wrong… I’ve forgiven her. I would rather remember the good times we shared…” The time that Sujin caught that pervert, the time she helped rescue Jukyung from those kidnappers, the time she helped hide Jukyung’s bare face at the school trip. “There are things that I wish I had done differently too. I wish had been more confident in myself and honest about who I really was. I wish I had stood up for myself earlier. But the past is the past, and I would rather focus on the present.”

“Everyone, I am grateful for all of the love and support you showed to me. I know bullying isn’t something you get over easily and I saw a lot of you comment about the bullying that you suffered. I am grateful you shared your stories with me. I hope we can take this opportunity to help each other heal rather than put someone down.” Jukyung looked at Sujin. “Now you.”

Sujin recited nervously, “Ah. Ahn-nyong-se-yo everyone. I’m Kang Sujin.”

Jukyung giggled. “We’ve done that already.”

“Oh, yes. Um… I uh…” Sujin took a pause to collect herself. “Let me be the first to say that I’m not a nice person—”

“Yah!” Jukyung protested but Sujin carried on.

“But I’m also not the girl who posted that video about her best friend, not anymore. At that time… I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. I have regretted doing that every single day since it happened. I am sorry. I understand everyone’s anger towards me. I would be angry too if I heard this about someone else. However, I hope that you all will be able to forgive me, as Jukyung has.”

Sujin ended her speech with an apologetic bow. Jukyung bowed with her. The girls then shared a tearful hug. From the back, Sujin saw Suho give her a thumbs up. Sujin sent him a smile back. The girls parted, wiping their tears.

“Okay! Now that that’s out of the way, we can get on to the real reason why you are on here.” Jukyung clasped her hands together. “Sujin will be assisting me today.”

“Ah, yes.”

“So Kang Su, shall we bring out our model today?” Jukyung asked her with a mischievous gleam in her eye.

The girls nodded conspiratorially before turning to Suho who looked on, confused.

“What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

viii.

“What is it? What are you laughing at?” Chorong asked Seojun as he leaned over his shoulder. They were at Chorong’s place where the boys were goofing off, playing video games and lounging about.

Seojun didn’t hear Chorong’s inquiry through his ear buds and kept on shaking with silent laughter.

“Hey, nobody said anything about me being in the video.” Suho was protesting on Seojun’s phone. Seojun turned up the volume to hear Suho’s annoyed grumbling more clearly. Of course, Seojun was going to make fun of Suho about this afterwards. 

“Just sit down, Lee Su, before I get mad.” Sujin commanded.

“That attitude of yours has never worked on me,” Suho replied coolly.

“Come on, Suho-ya. I do your makeup all the time don’t I? It’ll be fine. I promise.” Of course, when Jukyung said this, Suho melted like butter on a hot pan. Sujin rolled her eyes but it was clear that it wasn’t out of spite.

“Okay everyone! Let’s begin with the base and then we’ll work our way up! I am going to keep this look as natural as possible so that its not modifying anything but merely enhancing his features.” Jukyung pushed Suho’s bangs out of his forehead with a giant pink bow shaped clip. Seojun was quick to get a screen shot of it.

“What are Lee Suho and Kang Sujin doing on Jukyung’s channel?” Chorong asked in Seojun’s ear, shocking him. Seojun almost screamed in fear. He pushed away Chorong’s face to watch the video in peace.

In the live video, Jukyung was explaining the differences of applying make up on a guy’s face, versus a girl’s face.

“Sujin-ah. Why don’t you read some of the comments while I’m buffing in his foundation? You have to buff it in for a long time to make it appear natural.” Jukyung told her audience.

Sujin moved towards the camera, blocking Jukyung a little as she read off of her laptop. Her unfiltered face was front and center for the world to see. At this position it looked unflattering, which made Seojun chuckle even more.

Sujin read the comments in a robotic monotone, “Jukyung Unnie, I don’t usually watch make up tutorials. But after today I’m your number one fan.”

“Mwo-ya, this girl has no camera sense.” Seojun said to himself.

“Thank you! I’m your fan too,” Jukyung replied brightly.

“Your looks are always so classy and stylish.”

“Thank you! I’m glad you liked them. Let me know if there are any other looks you’d like to see.”

“Will you do a tutorial on how to wear red lipstick properly?”

“I’m actually planning on doing that soon!”

“Lim Jukyung, you are so beautiful. Marry me please!”

Suho got up to see the screen, “Who asked that?”

“Sit down!” Jukyung pulled him back as he grumbled. “Sorry,” Jukyung said to the camera, “but I’m taken.”

“Are you and Kang Sujin really friends now?” Sujin turned to Jukyung and all Seojun could see was her shiny black hair on screen.

“Dangyunhaji! In fact, if I wasn’t dating Suho, Kang Sujin would be my boyfriend.”

Seojun scoffed, “As if. It would have been me.”

On the live, Sujin laughed, “Is that so? We can still be together though. Have an affair behind Suho’s back.”

“Sure.” Jukyung said casually.

“Yah!” Suho protested.

Both girls giggled.

Suho looked miffed, “Kang Sujin, you’re blocking the view.” He said peevishly.

“Oh sorry. I’ll move.” Sujin circled around the couple to stand behind Jukyung and read the comments over her shoulder.

Jukyung read something on the screen and pointed it to Sujin, “Read that one.”

Sujin hesitantly read, “Kang Sujin, I’m sorry for judging you.” She looked up, “It’s okay. I can be harsh in my judgements too. The key is to try to learn from your past.” Sujin smiled at the camera before turning back to the screen.

“Kang Sujin, you’re pretty.” Sujin recited in her monotone voice. “Yes. I know.” She said without looking up.

“She is also super smart!” Jukyung gushed. “She was one of the top students in class.”

“Could never beat me though.” Suho said smugly, still sore about the affair comment. Both girls turned to Suho and stared. His mouth became small. “Sorry.”

Jukyung went back to explaining her tutorial, slowly performing each step as Suho patiently sat. She made his eyes look bigger and applied a natural lip tint to finish off.

Both girls couldn’t help but gawk at how good Suho look by the end. Jukyung removed the pink blow clip from his hair in a daze.

“How do I look?” He asked Jukyung.

“Too good, Lee Suho.” Sujin clapped. “Too good.”

Jukyung blushed but couldn’t articulate her thoughts. She stuttered, “Uh-ah! Let’s look at the c-c-comments again!”

Suho grinned.

“Lim Jukyung, you were amazing as always!” Sujin read aloud.

“Thank you.” Jukyung bowed.

“Watch the latest and best movies for free at—”

“Sujin that’s just spam.”

“Oh. Right.” Sujin continued, “Lee Suho looks prettier than the both of you.”

The girls’ face fell flat. Suho just looked innocently at the camera. The girls cleared their throats.

“Ah that’s all the time we have!”

“Ah, yes! Time to move on!”

The two pushed Suho out of the frame together.

“I can still be on camera if you—”

“No, I think the people have seen enough of you.” Sujin said while smiling widely at the camera.

Jukyung went wide eyed when she looked into her computer screen. “Ya! This live got 3.3 thousand comments!”

“Daebak. Good job Lim Ju!” The girls grinned, but then Sujin squinted her eyes disapprovingly at something on the screen. “Lim Jukyung, you look so ugly without makeup? Ya, who wrote this comment? User name KimChee23? Why don’t you show yourself to me and then we can see who’s really ugly?”

“Sujin-ah. It’s just a comment.” Jukyung tried to calm her.

“Comments matter too! Otherwise people wouldn’t be writing them! Ya KimChee23 where do you live?”

Seojun laughed out loud as he saw Jukyung try to calm Sujin down on screen.

“So, is everything all settled now?” Chorong asked Seojun.

“I think, yes. Just look at all the comments praising Sujin.”

He was right, the comments section was flooded with statements of Sujin being a brave person for apologizing and changing her bad behavior. 

“Great.” Chorong shook his friend’s shoulders. “Now you don’t have to be so troubled about Lim Jukyung.”

“Lim Jukyung? Why would I be troubled about her?”

Chorong was confused. He had not known about the scandal. The matter Chorong had been referring to was Seojun’s theory that Kang was apparently still after Lee Suho.

“I mean... haven’t you been in a bad mood all week because of her?”

“Why bother asking Chorong?” One of the boys said, “You know the answer to all of Seojun’s heartaches is Lim Jukyung.”

Seojun didn’t bother responding. He returned to his phone screen where Jukyung and Kang Sujin were wrapping up the live, waving at the camera with wide smiles. Suho was trying to get back in the frame and Sujin kept pushing his out of it.

“Ooh. Look at how Han Seojun is smiling.”

“Something good must have happened.”

“See! He’s always thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

“No I’m not!” Seojun protested. Quietly, he admitted. “I wasn’t thinking of Lim Jukyung.”

ix.

Han Seojun had arrived at Kang Sujin’s building an hour ago, but for the life of him he could not muster the courage to go up to her apartment.

“I have no reason to see her. So, why should I?” He argued with himself. He paced back and forth, going up the entrance and then going back again, unable to enter.

In his hands, Han Seojun held a beautiful arrangement of white tulips and yellow roses. White tulips as an apology and yellow roses as an offering of friendship. It was his way of apologizing for being a jerk.

After hearing everything she had said on the live event, Seojun had no doubt that Kang Sujin wasn’t who he thought she was. Certainly, if Jukyung and even Suho could trust her, then he could at least give her the benefit of the doubt. 

It had felt like a good idea at the time to try to make amends with flowers. But now that he was actually here, at her home, he felt stupid.

What would Kang Sujin say when he showed up at her place? Would she laugh at him and tell him to go to hell? Would she be offended that he just showed up, unannounced? The uncertainly of it all made him anxious.

As he went back down the steps to the building entrance for the thousandth time, Seojun bumped into a lady.

“Oh ma’am. I’m so sorry!”

The woman had been carrying tote bags with plastic containers of food in them. The bags had fallen to the ground but luckily, the containers and the food inside them were unharmed, just a little shaken.

Seojun looked at the woman with an apologetic face. She appeared to be a very dignified lady, as old as his mother. Her hair was up in a chic bun and she wore well fitted, albeit a little worn out, clothes. Her brows were crinkled in disapproval. But upon seeing Seojun, her face softened.

“Are you okay, ma’am?” Seojun asked and his humble words spoken in that rich baritone subsided the woman’s irritation further to the point where she smiled.

“Omo, how can someone be so handsome?”

Seojun beamed. Elders had always loved him. “Ah, thank you.” He responded shyly. “Let me help you carry these.” He took the heavy bags from her, putting the flowers under his arm, careful not to smush them.

“Oh no. I don’t want to bother.”

“It’s no bother at all, ma’am. I insist.” He didn’t let the woman say another word, walking past her into the building. The woman smiled and followed.

“Are you going to visit your girlfriend?” The woman asked, eyeing the flowers.

“A friend. A friend who is a girl.”

“Is that what the youngsters are calling it these days?”

“Ah-nee-heyo. It’s not like that.”

The woman just smiled knowingly. “I’m going to visit a special girl too. My daughter lives in this building.”

They entered the elevator. Seojun asked which floor the woman wanted to go to. “Oh, I’m going to the same floor. Maybe my friend knows your daughter.”

“I’m sure she does. My daughter is a wonderful girl.”

When the lady walked in the same direction as Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh. My friend lives this way too. What a coincidence. They might live right next to each other.”

“Then you should come over with your friend. I will cook for you.”

And when the woman stood in front of Sujin’s apartment, Seojun said, “Oh, this is my friend’s apartment. Are they roommates?”

“Young man, is your friend’s name Kang Sujin?”

“Yes, ma’am. How did you know?” Seojun asked, surprised.

The lady patted Seojun’s face, “At least you have good looks.” She punched in Sujin’s passcode and went in. Han Seojun stood outside for a full minute before he connected the dots. And then his eyes went wide.

“Sujin isn’t home yet. Why don’t you wait inside?” Mrs. Kang called out.

“I’m so sorry Mrs. Kang. I didn’t recognize you.” Seojun entered, placing the bags on Sujin’s counter.

“It’s okay, Son. You’ve known Sujin long?”

“I went to Sujin’s school. I knew her through Lee Suho.” He had only seen Sujin’s mother a couple of times at school. But never up close. She had seemed so stuck up like Sujin at the time; with her fur coats and expensive jewelry. Now she seemed like just another lady. Her appearance seemed to have humbled after the divorce.

“Oh Suho! Lovely child. How is he these days? Sujin doesn’t tell me anything.”

“He’s good ma’am.”

Mrs. Kang started lining the containers on the counter. It seemed like too much food for one person.

“Sujinnie never eats properly. She always scolds me for worrying but what can I do? She never takes care of herself.”

Indeed, when Mrs. Kang opened Sujin’s fridge, it was empty save a few water bottles and expired milk that Mrs. Kang threw away.

“And look at you! All skin and bones! It is unfashionable to be healthy these days?”

It was a complaint he had heard from his mother as well. But Seojun had to maintain a lean figure for his job, as he was about to explain to Mrs. Kang.

“Ma’am I actually have to diet beca—”

“I won’t hear it! Sit. I will get you something to eat. I’ve brought more than enough.” Mrs. Kang commanded. Seojun could see where Sujin got her tough exterior from.

“I don’t want to be a bother…”

“Nonesense! It’s no bother at all. Especially not for,” she eyed the bouquet Seojun had placed on the counter, “Sujin’s friend.”

Seojun wanted to protest Mrs. Kang’s assumptions but figured that denying it would only reinforce the idea. He would let Sujin clear up the matter.

“Well if you’re going to cook Mrs. Kang, you might as well let me help.” Seojun often cooked with his mother and was used to being in the kitchen so his culinary prowess impressed Mrs. Kang greatly.

“Your mother must be so proud of you.” Seojun grinned at the compliment. He decided that he liked Mrs. Kang.

Likewise, Mrs. Kang decided that she liked Seojun. She put the flowers he had brought in a vase and brought it to the table. As they cooked, she went on and on about Sujin and her many accomplishments. The woman was very proud of her daughter.

Seojun listened diligently as Mrs. Kang explained how much she was worried about Sujin. The non-profit sector didn’t exactly offer a lucrative career. Not as much being a doctor would have.

“I remember how much she had wanted to be a doctor as a child. Omma, I want to heal everyone, she would tell me. But when her father started pushing her and pushing her… suddenly it was all about ranking number 1, not helping people and her heart just wasn’t in it anymore.” Mrs. Kang lamented. She gave Seojun a considering look. “Has she told you… about her father?”

About the divorce? “Yes. I know.”

Mrs. Kang looked at him tenderly, “You must really be close to my daughter then. She’s a very private girl.”

Seojun didn’t understand why the woman as acting like it was some secret. Everyone knew about Mr. and Mrs. Kang’s separation.

The woman stared into the distance. “If I look back, I can only blame myself. I should have stopped it the first day her father started hitting her. But I was blind. I believed that it would all stop if she got good grades and got into a good university. My husband was always a tough man, but had never been like that to me, you see. I didn’t realize what he was doing to Sujin till it was too late.”

Seojun froze. He felt he had been told something he wasn’t supposed to know.

“And then, she started taking her anger out on other people… it might have been late, but I finally put my foot down. I’m glad my girl is in a better place now.”

Mrs. Kang looked down in remorse. Seojun found it hard to keep looking at her. He suddenly recalled what Sujin had said in Jukyung’s video.

I was foolish. I let my personal problems cloud my judgement and I took my frustration and anger out on Lim Jukyung. 

Ah, crap. Seojun thought.

“My daughter is a sensitive girl, despite how strong she appears. I just want to know that she is with people who will care for her, and not hurt her.” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun meaningfully. He swallowed.

“She is Mrs. Kang. You don’t have to worry.”

The woman pressed his hands gratefully. “You must have heard… about what Sujin was involved in recently.”

Seojun was sure he was going to die today. His heart felt like guilt had wrapped its sharp claws around it and was squeezing tightly.

“Ah. Yes.”

“Don’t believe any of it! My Sujinnie isn’t that kind of girl”

“Ah. Yes.”

“She did go a little astray in school, but what kid doesn’t go through a phase like that? Show me a teenager who has never made a mistake!”

“You’re absolutely right ma’am.” Was all Seojun could say.

“If only I could get my hands on that Han Seojun.” Seojun felt his heart stop. It was then that he realized that he never really introduced himself to Mrs. Kang. “How dare that no good idol take advantage of my daughter? Ah-nee, what kind of a person stays over a girl’s place like that? And doesn’t even help when she gets into trouble because of him?”

Seojun could see his funeral now, his mother crying for him as his friends lined up to regret their loss.

Guys… take care. Please check on my mother for me.

The door chimed as Sujin entered. She stopped in her tracks when she noticed Han Seojun and her mother sitting at a table full of food, waiting for her.

“Ah, Omma why have you come all this way again? Do you really like tiring yourself out so much?” Sujin scolded as she hurriedly put on her indoor slippers.

“Is that any way to greet your mother?” Mrs. Kang scolded back.

Sujin was undeterred. “You know I can always come and visit you and Auntie. Why do you have to come here? And look at all this food! How is this okay for one person? It always goes bad and then I have to throw it out.”

“It goes bad because you don’t eat enough, bad girl! You see what I have to deal with?” Mrs. Kang turned to Seojun who had gone white.

“Ya Han Seojun, what are you doing here?” Sujin asked him.

There was a second of silence where no one spoke. A pin drop could be heard.

“Han Seojun?” Mrs. Kang looked at Seojun. On stage, with makeup on, Seojun looked different. Here, in person, it was difficult to recognize him. But now that his name had been spoken, Mrs. Kang could see the young man whose face had been plastered all over the articles concerning Sujin.

“You… you’re the Han Seojun from the scandal?”

Sujin quickly caught on. “Seojun. Run.”

And then all hell exploded, or rather, one Mrs. Kang. Sujin jumped in her mother’s path as the woman got up with a slipper in her hand. Han Seojun lept off his chair and bowed furiously.

“I am so sorry Mrs. Kang. I am so sorry for all the trouble caused!”

Sujin desperately tried to block her mother’s blows but Mrs. Kang was a formidable woman. She smacked Han Seojun with her slipper.

“Do. You. Have. Any idea. What. Problems. You. Caused!” She punctuated each word with a smack. Seojun, for his part, did not run but rather took it like a man. He was just glad she was beating him with a slipper and not a heel.

“Run! Why aren’t you running?” Sujin asked him as she tried to grab her mother’s wrists.

“Are you protecting him? After everything that happened?”

“I’m really sorry Mrs. Kang.” Seojun said.

“Sorry? What good will an apology do? Will an apology undo the pain you’ve caused?” Her words sounded eerily familiar.

“Ah Omma, stop hitting him! He didn’t do anything. It was my fault. It was all my idea.”

Mrs. Kang stopped. “What?”

And thus, it became Kang Sujin’s turn to be given the mom-smack down.

“Ah Omma WAEEEE??”

“It was your idea to bring him home?!”

“Omma you’ve already beaten me about that!”

“I haven’t beaten you enough.”

“Mrs. Kang please! We were both drunk. Sujin had no choice but to—”

“What?” Mrs. Kang went ballistic.

Sujin glared at Seojun, “Han Seojun do you actually want us both to die?”

“YOU WERE DRUNK?!”

“Omma it wasn’t like that!”

“Mrs. Kang it really wasn’t.” Seojun chimed in.

“If it wasn’t then why is he bringing you flowers? Why is he showing up at your place?”

Sujin looked at the tulips and roses on her table. White tulips, a flower of regret. And yellow roses, flowers of friendship. Sujin knew exactly what they meant. She wondered if Han Seojun knew too or if he just got really lucky with his choices.

It was a while before Mrs. Kang calmed down. Seojun felt thoroughly sore. Both he and Sujin sat on the floor with guilty expressions on their faces, looking like school children being punished.

“Get out. I don’t want to see the likes of your around my daughter ever again.”

“Omma.”

Seojun bowed his head to the ground. “I am really sorry Mrs. Kang. I’m really sorry for all of the trouble that I’ve caused. I assure you I will never let anything like that happen again.”

Mrs. Kang crossed her arms and looked away.

“Omma. Neither of us had any idea that something like this would happen. Its not Seojun’s fault. And besides, he got into trouble too.” Sujin nudged him with her elbow.

“Yes, ma’am. I was almost kicked out of my company.” Which wasn’t exactly true but Seojun didn’t mind fibbing a little.

“You should have been!” Mrs. Kang fumed but then softened when she saw Seojun’s best puppy dog face. Han Seojun was always good with ladies, especially ones that were mad at him.

He inched closer to Mrs. Kang. “Mrs. Kang. I’m really regretful about what Sujin faced.” He took her hands in his. Sujin watched in astonishment as Han Seojun turned her mother’s boiling anger to a low simmer. “But I promise you, I will do everything in my power to make sure that this never happens again.”

Mrs. Kang cleared her throat.

“And look, the food we both prepared has gotten all cold. Wouldn’t it be better if we all eat and talk calmly?”

Sujin scoffed, not only at the blatant pandering but at the fact that it was working. Mrs. Kang’s anger all but disappeared. It came to a point that as they all ate, she began taking his side.

“How could you risk an idol’s reputation like that?” She asked Sujin who could only roll her eyes.

“Omma, how can you say that?”

“I mean, now that I think about it, it isn’t Seojun’s fault that his fans came after you.”

“Ugh, I can’t believe this.” Sujin scowled.

As dumb as Han Seojun had appeared, Sujin had to admit this was pretty shrewd. It made her wonder what else she had misjudged him on. He even got himself invited by Mrs. Kang to come by again for dinner.

“Your mom is incredible.” Seojun told Sujin as they walked to the convenience store. Mrs. Hand had sent them out for some ice-cream since she had brought nothing for dessert.

“She’s changed a lot after the divorce. She’s more herself now.”

They walked slowly, enjoying the night air and the silence. Oddly enough the quiet didn’t feel awkward or strange. Neither of them felt any pressure to speak. They got papico, the ice-cream that came in squishy bottles, and sat by on the benches outside.

“Kang Sujin,” Seojun began, “about what happened… are you… You know when I, um… I guess what I’m trying to say is…”

Sujin laughed, a clear gurgle of joy that made Seojun feel strange in his stomach. “Mwo-ya? Has the great Han Seojun been rendered speechless?” She laughed some more and Seojun didn’t stop her. “Relax Han Seojun. I’m fine.”

Seojun looked at his feet. “I… wasn’t happy with what happened to do… with the articles and how everybody was talking about you.”

“Gwenchana. It’s over now. I mean I had to make another Instagram account but all in all, its not as bad now. Besides,” she tilted her chin, “do you think a bunch of cowards who hide behind usernames are enough to take me down? I’m Kang Sujin, remember? Badass of Saebom High.”

“I thought I was the badass of Saebom high.” Seojun raised a brow.

“You were the gangster.” Sujin grinned, eating her ice-cream.

“I’m glad you’re tough. You don’t let these things bother you.”

“I’d be lying if I said it didn’t bother me. People telling me that I’m the worst and I should die wasn’t exactly easy.” She said grimly. “But you know what upset me the most?”

“What?”

“That I couldn’t beat those cowards up for saying what they did.” Sujin got up and punched the air. “If I could just get my hands on those twerps then I would teach them a lesson or two.” She punched the air.

The fire in Sujin’s eyes was so comical that Seojun burst out laughing.

“Don’t laugh! Hajima! I’m not joking.”

“Kang Sujin, were you always such a fighter?”

“Yup!” Sujin stated simply. She sat back besides Seojun, closer this time. And he noticed. “What about you?” She asked. “How are you doing?”

Seojun leaned back leisurely, “Eh, I’m fine. I don’t worry about public perception anyway. The people who matter will know me. Everyone else is just noise.”

“I bet your fans would leave you in a second.” Sujin teased.

“Don’t diss my fans. They’re all cool and awesome.”

“What, all two of them? Do they also happen to be named Jukyung and Suho?”

“You’re forgetting Chorong.”

The two giggled.

“Did your co-workers ask for more autographs?”

“Nope. Got fired before they could.”

“What?” Seojun stood up. Sujin relayed how her company had let her go after details about her past misconduct were released online.

“How could they just fire you? Isn’t that illegal?”

“Calm down. It’s normal for that to happen.”

“How can you be so calm?”

“Would you rather I get angry? There’s no point in doing that. I won’t get that job back.”

Seojun pressed his lips together in a tight line and sat back down.

“I’m surprised that you’re actually defending me.” Sujin sounded impressed.

“I mean… its wrong. Even if you and I don’t get along, what’s wrong is wrong.”

Sujin chuckled. She looked at the time on her phone. “I should get back. How are you getting home?”

“I brought my bike.”

“Your company lets you ride motorbikes?”

“Nope.” Seojun grinned.

“A’ight. Good night, Han Seojun. Stay safe.” Sujin walked back in the direction of the apartment. Feeling light and happy. While her online image hadn’t completely recovered, her relationship with Han Seojun had. She might not have to simply tolerate his presence now. They might genuinely get along.

“Kang Sujin!” Han Seojun called out to her, the woman who he thought was vile and destructive. The person that turned wasn’t that woman. It was the little girl who had looked to her father with love but only got his abuse in return.

“I’m sorry I misjudged you.” Seojun told the little girl.

The girl smiled. “I’m sorry I misjudged you too.”

x.

It was unfamiliar territory, getting along with Kang Sujin. More for the group than Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. They all looked at the pair in wonder and shock when Sujin asked Seojun to pass the soy sauce and he obliged. It shocked them further when Sujin laughed when Seojun bragged about being recognized at a department store and being asked for pictures.

“Hey, you feeling okay?” Jukyung asked Sujin quietly.

“Yeah, why?” Sujin replied.

“Nothing. Just asking.”

“Hey, what’s up with you?” Suho asked Seojun privately.

“What?”

“You’re acting all weird around Kang Sujin.”

“Weird how?”

“You’re being nice.”

“Am I not supposed to be?”

“Okay! Who’s going to go first?” Taehoon asked the room, interrupting Suho and Seojun’s conversation. 

They were at Suho’s apartment where he had a karaoke machine set up. Seojun had finally relented to visiting their place and it was just as painful as he had thought it would be. It was a mishmash to Jukyung’s bright and lively style with Suho’s dark and moody one.

The posters of rock bands and Junji Itou’s mangas were something both of them shared. It was fascinating how the two of the most caring people in Seojun’s life were into such dark things. Seojun saw Sujin eye one of the horror comic book posters suspiciously, as if the monster drawn in them could come out any second.

Chorong sang first, sharing a duet with his girlfriend. Then Taehoon and Suah went next. Duets seemed to be the theme of the night. Jukyung and Suho went next.

“Alright? Who else?”

Sujin was the only girl left.

“Well I’m not going up there.” She said when everyone looked at her. She eyed the other boys, all of whom were terrified of her. Even they could still hear Kang Sujin saying Ya Han Seojun, are you a gangster?!

“Jukyung-ah. Sing with me.” Sujin grabbed Jukyung’s hand and led her up before she could say anything.

“I’m singing too!” Suah joined.

Seojun went next. His was a solo and he clearly was the best performer. His rich baritone singing in a soft melody made everyone pay attention.

“Isn’t it nice to have an idol as a friend?” Suah asked. “Its like having a private concert.” Jukyung and Sujin nodded in agreement.

Everyone swayed their heads to the beat, except for Kang Sujin who was noticing the lyrics Han Seojun was singing.

I want to give you all of my days

I want to tell you all these feelings of mine

The sleepless blue winds

Brightly light up this night

He was singing about Lim Jukyung. Sujin looked over to her friend, who was looking longingly in Suho’s eyes. The two were entranced with each other, not noticing Han Seojun who stood just a couple of feet away, pouring his heart out.

After all the fun had been wrapped up, Seojun and Sujin had been the only two to stay back. Sujin had helped Jukyung clean up while Suho went to throw out the trash.

As Sujin cleaned the dishes, Seojun sat in the living room, looking at all of the pictures Jukyung and Suho had hung up. He could see how Suho and Jukyung would sit on the very couch he was on and watch TV together or lie around reading books.

He tried to replay those images, with himself there with Jukyung instead of Suho but he couldn’t. He couldn’t lie to himself about who she belonged to.

“You know, Han Seojun, I just realized something.” Sujin called from the kitchen.

“What?”

“You have two hands.”

Seojun looked at her like she had lost her mind. “Wow, Kang Sherlock. Your powers of deduction amaze me.”

“So, since you have those two hands, and you’re a gentleman, why not help me out over here? I assume you would feel bad that I’m the only one doing any actual cleaning.”

“You assume incorrectly. I have no issues with you doing all the cleaning.” Seojun turned back to the TV and was promptly hit in the head with a dish rag.

“Oops.” Sujin said flatly.

Seojun got up, dish rag in hand. Wordlessly, he took out the dishes from the washer and lined them up in the cabinets.

“Aren’t you ever afraid that Jukyung will be uncomfortable about you singing love songs to her?” Sujin asked in a low voice.

“What do you mean?”

“That song you sang. My heart is full of you, I’m starting to take after you?”

Seojun eyed her. “She won’t know.”

“I did.”

“Yeah but, you’re you and Jukyung’s Jukyung.”

“So?”

“So…” Seojun leaned closer, “you ranked number two in class for a reason.”

“Sujin-ah! I told you I would take care of everything.” Jukyung appeared from her bedroom.

“Don’t worry about it. Han Seojun helped.” Sujin assured.

The pair said their goodbyes to the couple and exited together. Han Seojun said nothing when he started walking his own way, while Kang Sujin turned to wave at him but was unseen. He was too lost in his own broken heart to notice anyone or anything.

She simply sighed, took it as just a Han Seojun thing and started walking in the other direction.

xi.

“I still can’t get used to this.” Suah said, waving a spoon between Han Seojun and Kang Sujin. The two sat opposite each other and were eating their food peacefully.

It was this peace that bothered Suah.

“I mean, how can you two just get along?”

“We’re adults Choi Su. We can learn how to get along.” Sujin stated.

Suho spluttered in laughter. “I thought you said that Seojun was a giant baby with no manners?”

Seojun gave Sujin a scathing look. Sujin went pink, “I never said that! You take that back!”

“It’s still strange.” Suah leaned closer. “What happened? Have you guys settled your differences?”

“Han Seojun got Sujin flowers.” Suho said cheekily.

“Yah!” Seojun protested. But it was in vain, the deed was done, and everyone oohed and aahed at this news.

“Did you really get her flowers?”

“Wait, when did this happen?”

“Does that mean that Seojun apologized first?”

“What kind of flowers?”

Seojun looked at Suho with the rage of a thousand suns. Suho just grinned back.

“Aren’t flowers romantic?”

“Ya! There was nothing romantic about it. All I got her were yellow roses and white tulips.” Seojun defended.

“OoooOoooh. Roooses. Roses are totally romantic.” Taehoon teased.

“They were yellow. Yellow roses are for friendship!”

“So, are you two friends?” Jukyung asked and everyone looked at Seojun and Sujin.

“Meh.” They both shrugged at the same time.

“Omo! Look at how in sync they are!”

“We are not.” They both said in sync.

Seojun had to admit, their group gatherings were much more comfortable now that he and Sujin had cleared the air between them. He enjoyed discovering how Sujin was less the ice princess he had thought her to be and more a regular girl. She also turned out to be much cooler than he had expected.

She had been the only one to see his discomfort when Jukyung and Suho suggested they all go on an overnight trip with them. Going to see their apartment; the very proof that Lim Jukyung and Lee Suho ate and slept—Oh God, don’t think about them sleeping—together was painful enough. Seojun didn’t need to see them canoodling for an entire weekend.

“What about it guys? Shall we go?” Jukyung looked around as everyone nodded excitedly, including Sujin.

But then her eye’s met Seojun’s. He said nothing but he didn’t need to.

“Lim Ju, it’ll be difficult for me to join. I just lost my job, remember? An overnight trip is...” Seojun knew Sujin was just making up an excuse.

“Oh, oh right. Sorry Kang Su-ya. I totally forgot. Something else then!”

The group moved on to discussing other options. Seojun sent Sujin a grateful look. She acted nonchalant, as if she had not just overturned everyone’s plans for him.

“Thanks. For what you did back in there.” He told her as they were all leaving.

“Forget about it.” She waved a hand in dismissal.

The next time the group gathered at a fancier restaurant than usual. A suggestion by Suho who had offered to pay for the food tonight.

“This place is so beautiful.” Suah commented looking around the interior.

“Are we celebrating something?” Sujin asked. “This doesn’t seem like a regular get-together.”

Sujin had only asked for the sake of asking. But something about the way Suho looked at her told Seojun that she was on to something.

“Well,” Jukyung held up her hand, “we do have something to announce.”

And announce she did. The big fat diamond resting on her ring finger had a lot to say. And suddenly everyone erupted with joy. The girls took Jukyung in their arms, squealing and crying with joy. The boys surrounded Suho, patting him on the back, congratulating him.

All except Seojun, who just sat there in a daze. Sujin happened to look over and see him, frozen in his seat. Sujin wasn’t alone in her observation. Taehoon also noticed but missed the implication.

“Look! Han Seojun is actually so shocked he—"

Sujin made it look like an accident, her bumping into the table and sending a glass down on the floor, shattering into a million pieces. The sound shook Seojun out of his daze and also distracted everyone from realizing Seojun’s inner turmoil.

“Oh shit.” Sujin said looking down.

“Hey, be careful.” Jukyung said.

“You okay?” Suho asked Jukyung, taking her arm.

“Excuse me, can we get someone to clean this up?” Taehoon asked the waiter.

The fuss over the broken glass gave Seojun enough time to recover. He then congratulated Suho with a massive hug.

“You both deserve each other. I mean it.” He told Suho and he meant it.

Maintaining a fake smile over dinner was easy. Everyone else was so chatty that Seojun’s and Sujin’s relative silence went unnoticed. Suah pestered Jukyung for details: “How did it happen?”, “When?”, “Why didn’t you call me immediately?”. Taehoon made jokes about marriage being the end of romance to which Suah started an argument with him and then it became about settling matters between the two.

Sujin didn’t remember much of what happened after that, the rest of the night was a blur. She just hoped that she had maintained enough dignity to not appear as bitter as she actually felt.

Even though they all parted very late in the night, Sujin couldn’t go directly home. She needed something to ease the pain. So naturally, she went to the nearest tent bar she could find. The place seemed to be overcrowded, with people waiting outside for others to leave. Sujin managed to sneak in and grab a table.

She downed half of a soju bottle in one go but then couldn’t muster the energy to drink further. Her side dishes went untouched. All Sujin could do was stare and wonder if there was any way to just take her heart out of her chest and throw it away. Because there seemed to be no relief from this pain she was feeling.

She banged her head on the table. “Ah wae? Why can’t I just move on?” She asked herself in frustration.

“Ugh, why the hell are you here?” That irritated tone and deep voice could only belong to one person. And indeed, when Sujin looked up she saw Han Seojun a few tables over looking at her in disdain.

“Wae? You have a claim on this place?” Sujin raised a critical brow.

“And what if I do?”

“Then give me everything for free. Since we’re friends who get along.”

“No. Friends pay double.”

“How stingy.” Sujin took another shot of soju.

The man running the tent bar came over. “Why don’t you two share a table since you know each other? I have customers waiting to be seated.”

“No way, I’m not sitting with her.” Seojun grumbled.

“Aha! I knew it! Being all nice to me was just an act.”

The owner ignored Sujin, “How can two youngsters be so rude? Get up! I’m moving you over there.”

This was how Han Seojun came to drink with Kang Sujin for the second time. They both looked at each other with scowling faces.

“What happened, Kang Sujin? You were acting all happy for the lucky couple.” Seojun taunted. He seemed a little tipsy but so was Sujin.

“Of course, I’m happy. I’m so, so happy.” She said wistfully.

Seojun scoffed. “Is that why you were whining about not being able to move on? I thought you said you didn’t like Lee Suho anymore.”

Sujin narrowed her eyes. “I don’t. And even if I allegedly did, at least I held it all in. You were clearly about to run away with Jukyung before I saved you.”

“Saved me? Puh-lease.”

“Why? Do you think that glass fell on its own?”

Seojun gave her a sideways look before taking another shot.

“You gonna eat that?” He pointed a chin to her plate.

“Nah, have it.”

They sat in silence for a moment. A comfortable silence where neither felt compelled to say anything.

Sujin shook Seojun when she suddenly smacked her glass down on the table. “I’m over Lee Suho.” She declared. “I’m over Lee Suho… but…”

“Just because you’re over him, doesn’t mean you stopped loving him.” Seojun said what she was thinking.

She looked at him, her pain evident on her face. In that moment, he let himself be vulnerable too.  

“Isn’t it funny? Out of everyone I know, you’re the only one who gets… this.” Sujin said.

Seojun chuckled. “Exactly. Who woulda thought? Kang Sujin and Han Seojun having something in common.”

“You know it’s gonna hurt even worse from now on, right? We’re the closest to those two. That means we’ll be involved in everything.”

Seojun rubbed his faced. “I can’t think about that right now. Or I really will die.”

Sujin understood what he meant. “You know what I want?”

“What?”

“I want Suho to never find out that I still like him.”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean, I can’t help that I feel this way right? You can’t stop yourself from feeling what you feel. But… I wanna keep my dignity. I wanna still be cool and… not be seen as some pathetic loser who’s still after her best friend’s boyfriend.”

Seojun took a shot, nodding.

Sujin leaned forward. “That’s why, I suggest we help each other out.”

Seojun gave her a look. “How so?”

“Well, if we see the other being too transparent, then we stop them, or at least take the attention away so that the other can collect themselves.”

“Like the broken glass today?”

“Like the broken glass today. And if it’s getting too painful, then we can just talk about it.”

Seojun laughed. “Kang Sujin, offering therapy. That’s rich.”

“Not therapy. Friendship. It helps if you talk about stuff like this.” Sujin insisted.

Seojun gave her a considering look. “What’s in it for me? These seem like things you want to do.”

“You’ll be able to attend Jukyung’s wedding without feeling like you’re dying on the inside.”

“There’s no guarantee that will happen.”

“You’re right, there isn’t. But at least that’s what it’ll look like. Think about it Han Seojun. Do you want Jukyung to always see you as the friend who is in love with her? Or do you want her to see you as a cool friend who she can comfortably rely on, without wondering if she’s hurting his feelings.”

Seojun thought about it. It felt like a bad idea. But there was a part of Han Seojun that was tired of his own attachment to Lim Jukyung. If it meant that it would help him move on, then he was willing to try anything

“Alright, Kang Sujin.” He raised his glass. Sujin clinked hers with his. “Let’s try this.”

I am bad at making memes but I do it any way

[sconnie-doesnt-know]

Chapter 2

Characters - Reader, Ransom Drysdale, assorted OCs 

Word count - 3100

Warnings - Drinking, language, sexual content

A/N - Hope you enjoy the next installment of my Ransom series. Still setting things up in the chapter, but we’re moving along. For a while, there will be a good amount of heavy drinking and the questionable choices that go along with that, just FYI. Remember this is fiction and the acts are not recommended. They will also be acknowledged later if you are concerned. 

Feedback is wonderful, & if you notice any errors please let me know!

Dividers made by @firefly-graphics​

Chapter 1

You order drinks plus shots. 

“To another fucking week,” you salute with Whitney. It burns, and it’s sweet, and you just want it to act fast.

“Yeah, another one.” She grabs hers, salutes, and tosses it back back. She cringes for a few seconds, but once she recovers, she picks right up with half of a conversation you weren’t having. “So, are you gonna take someone home tonight?”

“You’re more worried about my sex life than your own.” You shake your head at her.

“After what that asshole did to you, you deserve all the good fucking. I’m just trying to find a good dick to help you forget.”

“Wow, that’s sweet in a weird way.” You shake your head again, but smile this time.

“Well, it’s true. I also don’t want to feel bad if I ditch you later for my own fuck buddy.” She wiggles her eyebrows like a cartoon villain. At least she’s giving you a warning this time and not just disappearing on you later.

“Jesus, Whit. Yeah okay.” You can’t help but laugh with her. “It’s just,” you survey the group around you, “You never really know what you’re gonna find at the end of the night.”

“Uhhh, yeah. That’s what having a one-night stand is...Oh hi.” She offers a dazzling smile to a cute guy pushing next to her at the bar.

You wait a few seconds for her attention to return before you mutter, “I am well aware.”

“So pick a partner and do-si-do. Come on, cowgirl,” she nudges you, nodding to the guy in the fraying straw hat next to you. Nothing seems to deter her.

“You’ve got to be kidding,” you giggle. 

She smiles and shrugs. A few minutes pass as she looks you over, studying you.

“You’re being weird about this.”

“I know.” You nibble on the straw in your glass for a moment before getting to where your mind’s been stuck for hours. “So hey, that guy we hung out with? Ransom?”

“No.” She shakes her head hard from side to side, a slightly manic giggle coming out between the repeated, “No, no. No.”

“What?” you try to sound casual, indifferent, but she knows you too well. “I just want to know what his deal is.”

“You don’t,” she insists, shaking her head.

“Why? Did you sleep with him?” 

“No, I haven’t.” She pauses for a moment, you can see she’s actually thinking over her answer. “He’s just gonna get what he wants from you and push you away.”

“You do realize that’s exactly what you’ve been telling me to do? So I should screw someone, but not him...because that’s what he does?”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, are he and Michelle a thing? I don’t want any extra relationship drama.”

“Psshh, yeah, god knows you’ve had enough of that.” She stares off into the middle distance before shaking her head and focusing again. “No, they’re not together either, but please? Please? Just promise me you’re not interested in Ransom.”

“Okay, but why?”

“I don’t know, I guess I don’t really think you’re his type.” She lets the words hang, and you’re unsure how to interpret them until you finally settle on hurt. You physically recoil a bit when the sting of her words hits.

“Wow, ouch. What the hell does that mean?” You look down into your lap, looking yourself over really quickly and not finding anything major sticking out.

“I just don’t see it. Trust me, and tell me you’re not being serious with this.” 

Even with her strange and kind of harsh reaction, you can’t get rid of the swooping feeling you get in your stomach just thinking about him. So, you try to purse your lips to control the uncomfortable smile trying to break through. You want to assure your friend, but can’t lie to her either...at least not well. 

“I’m totally not,” you finally say with an awkward laugh behind it. Again, failing miserably to play off nonchalance. 

She sees it all and knows you’re full of shit. “No one will have any respect for you if you fuck around with him.” She says, matter-of-factly.

Where this is all coming from, you have no idea.

“You’re being mean and cryptic and I don’t like it. I’m not even saying that anything’s going to happen, but that sounds a little extreme, Whit. Come on,” you whine.

She rolls her eyes. “It’s not. Just find someone and ask him to buy you a drink. Look around, you can pick anyone, but I am not enabling you and Ransom,” she quickly adds.

You try to lighten the mood by teasing her about having standards, but can’t find much ground to stand on when she brings The Ex into the discussion. She’s really on a roll tonight and pulling no punches. It’s not what you wanted or needed from the night. You came out with a mission to have fun, so you take a deep breath and decide to be the bigger person.

“Hey Whit?”

She keeps her eyes on the bar in front of her, letting you know she’s still somewhat annoyed at you. “Yesss?”

“This week sucked. Let’s get trashed.” You sling your arms around her shoulders and shake her until she laughs with you. Her party-friend is back in action.

“Fuck. Yes.”

You struggle to go along with Whitney’s plan for your night, especially when the Cowboy and just about every other guy she pushes your way fail to keep your interest. Not that you’d never had a one-night stand, but just that lately they’d been pretty awful experiences and you wondered far too often lately what a life of celibacy would look like. It’s much easier to dismiss the guys and remember that at least your vibrator can get the job done.

Before last call you give in and you text Jeff. Yes, the Jeff with whiskey dick who left you high and dry last time as Whitney reminds you with a giggle. He sounds genuinely happy to hear from you again and promises to make up for last time which makes it seem worth it to give him another shot. He’s tall, fit, with long fingers and if you remember correctly, a decent enough dick.

He manages to stay hard this time around, and he takes his time feeling you up, but the two of you can’t find a rhythm that works. You finally bat his hand away and rub yourself off while he pumps sloppily into you. Afterward, he leans in for a kiss and you turn away to give him your cheek. Getting dressed, you give him a few non-committal answers when he asks about seeing you again, and at the end of it all, you’re most grateful that you didn’t take him to your place. 

You spread out alone in your own bed and think over Whitney’s words.

Whitney knows more than a few of your dirty secrets; the friendship between you two had blossomed quickly with your guard easily let down. She never really judged you, at least not openly, which left you swirling in doubt for days, obsessing over what would probably end up being nothing. 

What made you not his type - looks? Money? Another woman? She never really had a filter, but she was being so short on the topic of Ransom which made you think even harder, rooting through some more recent bad memories.

“Am I a bad person?” you ask Carrie during the week.

“What? No!”

You accept her answer with a nod, silently thinking.

“I wonder if I should just take a break.” When Carrie looks at you funny, you clarify, ��Like, maybe I am finding these losers because I am not all that great myself? These guys are all just…”

“Babe, you’re meeting them at bars...with Whitney.”

You heave in a deep sigh, “I know. And she’s not that bad.” A humorless laugh escapes. “Maybe I am aiming too high or something?”

“There’s no such thing.” You see her shoulders shift, fire in her eyes and protective mode activated like she’s done a few times in staff meetings. “What happened?” she asks.

“Nothing. Just thinking.”

Whitney laughs when you tell her you’re thinking of taking a break.

“Was Jeff that bad? I thought you said he was good with his fingers.”

You look around, even if Whitney has forgotten she’s in public, you haven’t. No one else reacts though, thankfully.

“You’re such a bitch,” you sigh. She fakes offense which you ignore. “No, he wasn’t that bad, I just want to find a nice guy. I don’t know.”

Her already buzzed gaze moves somewhere over your shoulder, “Oh whoa, stop that thought. There’s a guy behind you that looks like he wants to bend you over right here. So,” she drags out, “How about we see how that goes and forget about Jeff, and nice for a while.”

She adjusts her own posture, subtly popping up her tits and tilting her chin down to offer him and enticing smile.

‘Jeff isn’t the problem,’ you think to yourself, but she’s already moving forward with her plan for your night. You toss back the shot she places in front of you and turn to check him out.

It’s not happening, even as tipsy as you currently are, this guy with the ironic mullet hovering next to you and trying to get handsy is not getting into your pants. You know it, Whitney knows it (even if she continues to flirt with his friend), hell - the people in the space station know it… but Mullet Guy is oblivious. It’s embarrassing. 

You sit there with your hands over half of your face, wishing he’d leave you alone, when you feel a tap on your shoulder. Turning, you see a familiar pretty face surrounded by blonde hair.

“Do you need some help?” Michelle asks, eyeing the guy next to you.

You’re surprised she even recognized you, let alone approached you, but you’re desperate to take the help where you can get it. “Oh my god, yes.” 

She gives you a knowing grin, “You’ll find some of us in the corner booth in the back.”

“You sure?” you ask, still thrown off by the interaction and nearly stumbling off the bar stool. “What about Whitney?” 

“I’ll get her,” She gives you a little nudge. 

You slip past the guy hopelessly hitting on you, mumbling and hoping he doesn’t follow and head down the aisle alongside the bar until you reach the large, corner booth. A few faces look familiar, but when he looks up you consider turning back. Judging by his smirk, there’s no chance of that happening.

You raise your voice to be heard over the noise of the bar, “Um, Michelle sent me over,” your nerves turning it into a question rather than a statement.

Ransom raises an eyebrow like he’s about to ask a question, but nudges the people next to him to make them get up and make room for you.

“Oh, no that’s...I’ll just sit on the end.” You try to politely wave them off, but they’re already up.

“Come on in, sweetheart,” he invites you, arm thrown over the back of the seat and your heart beats double-time with just how much you want it wrapped around you. The two people who vacated their spots shift impatiently and you clumsily sit down and start to scoot over under your knee bumps into his, making you immediately stop and apologize.

“You here all alone?” he asks, swirling his drink, the ring on his pinky finger flashing in the light.

“Nah,” Michelle reappears and speaks up for you as she sets down a few glasses onto the table, “Whitney’s here, but she’s got some company. This lucky lady,” she points to you and continues with a light laugh in her voice, “Was just looking miserable with some idiot not taking a hint.”

“You should’ve just told him to fuck off.” Ransom says.

You look over the crowd, finding Mullet Guy waiting for you back at your seat. His eyes droopy from the liquor and Whitney swaying with his companion. 

“I know, I just don’t like doing that. Plus, uh, I think Whitney is trying to fuck his friend.”

“So leave her. She’s a big girl and can handle herself.”

After that he continues the conversation he was having with the others before you arrived, and once again, you sit there silently watching. 

If you can call anyone the leader in the group, it is Ransom. Watching the way the other guys at the table defer to him and how he responds to what they say makes it obvious. He knows it too, practically sitting here holding court at the big square booth. 

The conversation isn’t all that interesting, at least not to you. Some kind of pissing contest the guys are having involving some sports stats. Every now and again you hear them say something so blatantly wrong, but you don’t know them well enough to correct them. With the underhanded comments and passive aggressive insults, you can’t help but wonder if any of them are actually friends. Eventually, your attention wanders over the rest of the bar patrons.

“Am I keeping you from something?” Ransom startles you with how close he is, body still but eyes roaming. You suck in a deep breath, smelling the alcohol and his cologne which makes your mouth water.

“N-no, sorry,” you struggle to come up with an excuse for zoning out, “Just looking for Whitney.”

He tips his head, “She’s right where you left her.” You follow his line of sight, finding her easily. 

“Oh. Yeah.” 

The way his face goes impassive unsettles you, like it was the wrong answer. “We’re boring you. That’s alright. Let’s talk about you.”

“Not much that you’d be interested in, I think.” Whitney’s assertion that you’re not his type replays in your head

“I don’t know about that. I have a lot of interests.” He stares at you with this look on his face, like he’s listening to something funny, but his eyes are serious. It’s intimidating when combined with the way he’s lounged so comfortably next to you, taking up the space like he owns it and yours. His tone, and the little tickle from his fingers against your shoulder feels like flirting, and now your inner voice begs you to remember how to fucking flirt. ‘For the love of god, shake off the nerves and flirt with this gorgeous creature.’ You take a deep breath and try to sink into it.

“What do you want to know?” You ask, setting your elbow on the table and propping your face on your palm while you turn even further toward him.

One side of his face lifts almost into a smile. He starts with a few basic questions, finding out you’re not from the city, how long you’ve been around. He ignores what you ask in return, continuing with his rapid-fire questioning.

“How do you know that little brat?” he asks with a tiny flick in the direction of the bar.

“Whitney?” you chuckle and he nods, “Friend of a friend; she practically became attached at my hip once we started going out together.”

“A quiet little mouse like you and her? Really?”

“I promise you, I’m not always so quiet,” you challenge.

“See, now that is interesting. Think I’d like to see that,” he answers, eyes giving you a quick up-down in your seat.

In the seconds it takes for you to process that he is indeed flirting and you need to respond, the moment is broken by a high-pitched voice.

“There you are! You fucking ditched me.” Whitney practically howls at you. You feel like a child who got caught out after curfew as you see her eyes move between you and Ransom. “What’s happening here?”

The alcohol has settled enough to remove some of your tension. With that and her overdramatic reaction, trying to control the urge to giggle at being caught is impossible, so you bite down on your lips to keep the grin from your face. “Nothing,” you answer, poorly faking innocence.

Ransom’s eyes stay on you, you can feel it, but he talks to your friend, “We were just getting to know each other better.” He turns to look at her, “Sit down with us,” his tone almost sounding like an order.

“Getting to know each other?” she asks you pointedly. 

You can’t understand what her problem is with him, especially since he’s her friend. At this point, you’re too intrigued. It’s not like there’s any point in trying to deny that you’re attracted to him with half your body leaning into him like he’s a magnet, but for some reason you think you see real disappointment in her eyes. Biting your lip, you take a peek at him to find him waiting for your response; he’s already smug with the attention.

“Yeah.” 

“What about your break?” she spits out.

You feel too many people looking at you, but you can’t answer, too shocked that she’s put you on the spot like this.

“Remember?” she asks like you’re forgetful, “You’re taking a break because you’re looking for a nice guy.” She over-enunciates as she stares daggers at Ransom.

“Why don’t you get the stick out of your ass, Whitney. I’ve been nice all night, haven’t I sweetheart?” The hostility between the two makes your back go rigid, anxious for the moment to end and the spotlight to be directed anywhere else.

“I’m fine,” you tell her as firmly as you can.

She shakes her head at you, but sits down anyway, jumping right into flirty conversation with Eric who is sitting at the end of the booth, notably there without the girl from the other weekend.

“Hmm,” Ransom hums right against your ear, making your skin tingle. “I think someone just got in trouble.” He’s clearly amused and not sounding remorseful at all.

He makes a move then. It’s slight, but you feel him tuck you a little further under his arm. Part of you is glad Whitney is distracted, but the other part wants her to notice it and realize she might be wrong.

“I…yeah,” you stumble over your words, confused and flustered between the two of them. Chest tight and pulling in short breaths and stomach swooping with excitement, you internally scream, begging for him to make it worth it.

[knifewieldingenby]

a heart’s a heavy burden, part one

Incubus Jaskier, fic warning: very minor discussions about sex but no smut (I’m saving that for chapter two if you’d like to skip it. Mentions of energy starvation.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Jaskier had been at Kaer Morhen for two months when things started to get strange. He woke up dizzy and nauseous, stumbling around the room to get clothes over his cold body. He felt hungry all the time but even the thought of food was making him sick. And his head, his damn head, felt like it was full of bees.

At first he thought it was just a cold. After all, it was certainly chilly enough in the keep to catch one easily. He wandered the halls wrapped in thick furs, sat by the fire with Lambert plastered to his side most evenings, stealing each other’s body heat. The other wolves teased them relentlessly, even Geralt, though he could see a hint of concern in the White Wolf’s eyes every now and again. But he’d had colds, and none of them felt as consuming as this. Nor did it feel like the flu; despite the dizziness and full head he was still able to move around the keep, could still eat when his stomach finally threw a fit. This was something...else.

He knew something was seriously wrong when he started getting angry for no reason. Every sound, every light, every laugh that rang out in the keep pissed him off. When Lambert tried to tease him about his hair (of all things) one morning he issued a swift “fuck off” that bit so hard it left Lambert in silence. The worst part was that Jaskier didn’t even feel bad about it. It didn’t make him feel any better, either. He felt like a powder keg, on the edge of exploding any second about the smallest of things. It wasn’t like him at all.

“I don’t feel so good,” Jaskier finally got up the courage to say one morning as he hobbled down to join the wolves hours after they’d woken up. The truth was, he didn’t want to bother them with his human problems. He didn’t want Geralt to regret bringing him here. 

“I noticed,” Geralt said. It was Eskel that approached him and gently touched Jaskier’s forehead with the back of his hand. He hummed and cocked his head a little.

“You have a low grade fever, that’s for sure. Maybe you should still be in bed.”

Jaskier nodded. Bed sounded good. He had forced himself to get up this morning - though he suspected it wasn’t actually morning anymore - but if he’d had his way he would have stayed in bed all day. His head felt heavy all of a sudden and he swayed in place. He felt an arm on him a moment later and he was aware he was moving, practically being dragged up to his room.

“I’ll bring you food later,” came Geralt’s voice. His vision faded in and out but he forced himself to keep his eyes on the man, who was now visibly worried. Before he knew it they were in his room and Geralt was positioning him in bed. “How do you feel?”

“Hungry.”

Geralt smiled slightly. “I’m sure. I can get you some food now-”

“No.” It came out somewhere between a whine and a growl, and Jaskier had the good sense to look embarrassed. Geralt nodded slowly, eyes full of confusion. 

“Okay, when you wake up then.” He looked down and grabbed Jaskier’s hand. “Take these off, it can’t be comfortable.” And then he was slipping Jaskier’s rings off his finger one at a time. He got to the last one on his left hand, iridescent pink and blue, a remnant of his childhood, and clamped his finger down hard.

“I never take that one off,” he said coldly. Thankfully Geralt didn’t push him on it; he squeezed his hand and placed it back on the bed. 

“Okay. Sleep well. I’ll be back later.”

Jaskier closed his eyes and felt the heavy weight of sleep consume him. Before he succumbed, he thought back to his ring. His mother gifted it to him when he was eight, maybe nine - he no longer knew how long he’d had it, but he never once took it off. It grew with him as his mother promised, by merit of the magic whirling inside it. ‘It’ll keep you safe from those who wish to hurt you,’ she’d said. She never clarified beyond that and after a while he stopped asking. The few times he thought about taking it off he felt the strong pull of magic and thought he’d better not.

Now he grabbed the ring and pulled. It slipped off with surprisingly little resistance. He placed it on the night stand with his other rings, turned onto his side, and let sleep take him. 

---

When he finally woke again it was night and Geralt was sitting on the edge of the bed with a bowl in his hands. Jaskier felt like he was using all the strength in him just to sit up, his eyes taking a minute to focus. The room was dim, a small fire lit in the fireplace. He zeroed in on Geralt and squinted.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” It’s not his fault the question came out aggressive and demanding; he’d tried for gentle and his brain told him to fuck right off with that. 

“Eat,” he ordered. Jaskier’s stomach turned. He hadn’t eaten anything since last night, and even then he’d only had a small scoop of stew. Food sounded like a bad idea, and yet he felt famished. Still, he took the bowl and, under Geralt’s watchful eyes, ate a few spoonfuls. He held the bowl out to Geralt when he felt his stomach couldn’t take anymore and Geralt took it without a fight, placing it back on the table.

“You took your ring off,” he noted.

“Yeah, I figured I’d worn it since I was a kid and it was time to free my finger, so to speak.”

“Hmm.” He stood up quickly and headed for the door. “I need to speak with Eskel and Lambert for a moment. Try to get some more food in you if you can.”

Jaskier waited patiently for Geralt to return, confused but too tired to worry about it. When he heard multiple footsteps down the hall he sighed. He really wasn’t in the mood to talk to people right now.

“Holy shit, you really weren’t kidding.” Jaskier looked up to where Lambert was entering the room, followed closely by Eskel and Geralt. Geralt growled a warning at him and he laughed. “Sorry, but I definitely thought you were making shit up.”

“Stop talking,” Eskel said. He came closer to Jaskier and sat at the end of the bed. “This is...certainly new.”

Jaskier was only getting more confused by the minute. Him eating soup was new? Being in bed? Being sick? Of fucking course it was new, he hadn’t been sick his whole time here. 

“What’s new?” He snapped. Lambert chuckled again.

“Guess we know why he’s been in such a shit mood.”

“Lambert, I swear on my sword I will snap you in half.” Geralt grabbed a hand mirror and brought it to Jaskier. “Don’t...ah, just don’t freak out okay?”

Jaskier snatched the mirror from Geralt and oh, that was new. That was very new. He touched his forehead where Eskel had touched him just this afternoon. Instead of a nearly flat surface he was met with two horns that curled up and around his head, close to his hairline, and flicked up at the ends. 

Fucking horns.

“What. The fuck.”

“Oh no, he’s freaking out,” Eskel said under his breath. Geralt groaned and shook his head.

“Why did I bother to bring you two up here? You’re making it worse.”

“Geralt.”

Jaskier’s voice shook. Fear bubbled up and over; he was sure the wolves could smell it in the air. He looked at them through brand new eyes. He was...he was a monster, for fuck’s sake, something these men hunted for a living. What were they going to do with him? None of them had their swords, but he knew even in the keep they all kept small daggers on them just in case something happened. And now that something was Jaskier. A monster.

“It’s okay.” Geralt sat next to him, ignoring the way he flinched from the proximity, the way it made Geralt’s heart ache. “I know it’s new, and scary, but you’re okay. You’re safe.”

“But I- I’m a monster, Geralt. How did this happen to me?”

Geralt glanced over at the night table and picked up the iridescent ring. It looked so small in his big hands, looked so small now that it wasn’t on Jaskier’s finger anymore.

“Tell me about this ring.”

“My mother gave it to me. Said it would protect me from people who might hurt me. She made me promise never to take it off, and I haven’t until now.”

“It’s a glamour, isn’t it?” Lambert asked. Geralt nodded.

“Yes, it’s a glamour. Your mother clearly knew your horns would come in eventually and wanted to keep you safe from humans.”

“But what am I if not human?”

“Lemme smell him,” Eskel piped up. Jaskier’s eyes widened. “I have the best sense of smell and you know it.”

To Jaskier’s surprise Geralt moved from his place on the bed and was replaced by Eskel, who smiled sheepishly at him.

“Is this okay with you,” he asked. 

Jaskier nodded, a bit shaky and uncertain, but sure that he wanted to know the truth. He’d spent over forty years in the dark. No more. Eskel leaned over, pressing his face into Jaskier’s neck, and breathed in deeply. Jaskier’s eyes closed and he had to bite back the moan that threatened to break free. Hunger roared it’s head and he felt light-headed in a good way this time. He was ashamed when he felt lust creeping up on him. Eskel was certainly beautiful, but he wasn’t the one Jaskier had been pining over all these years.

Eskel and Lambert chuckled in unison and Jaskier blushed, certain they smelled his lust. If they could smell it so could Geralt, and he didn’t want to know what the White Wolf thought about that.

“It’s okay,” Eskel said as he pulled away. “It’s perfectly normal.”

Geralt chimed in. “Is he a-”

“Without a doubt.”

“Will you two stop speaking in code and tell me what the hell I am?!” Eskel and Lambert nodded to Geralt, inviting him to take the reins. He switched spots with Eskel and, to Jaskier’s great surprise, took his hand.

“You’re an Incubus. Half, most likely. I’m guessing your biological father was full Incubus.”

“Huh. That would explain why my father fucking hates me I guess.”

Geralt frowned at that, his eyes flashing with something close to anger. He shook his head and continued.”I’m not surprised this is just hitting you now. Your ring kept your physical traits glamoured and prevented our medallions from sensing you, and you’ve been...very sexual since you were a teenager, I assume. You’ve never gone this long without having sex, have you?” Jaskier shook his head. “Do you feel a hunger that food won’t satisfy?” A nod this time. “That’s because you’ve been starving for energy, an energy you can only get through sexual acts.”

“Okay, I guess I’m with you.” He wasn’t really with him; part of him wanted to laugh in Geralt’s face, tell him, tell them all, that they’d lost their minds, and go back to sleep. Surely when he woke up the horns would be gone and everything would be back to normal. “What do I do about it?”

Silence. Eskel shuffled awkwardly, Lambert grinned, and Geralt glanced down. Jaskier’s eyes must have been deceiving him, because the man looked shy. 

“You need to have sex,” he said simply.

[cupidcreates]

Love You Equally

Chapter Thirteen - Midterms and Halloween Mishaps

Part 4: Party Crashers

By 9pm the party was in full swing, Halloween-themed music blared from the speakers placed strategically throughout the living room and kitchen. Black and orange decorations adorned the walls and smoke machines pushed out a steady stream of fog that effectively hid anything below ankle-level in a thick gray smog. Huge fake cobwebs spanned the corners of the rooms with mechanical spiders crawling about them, their metallic joints clicking menacingly. Small animatronic witches cackled every other moment and harrowing howls sounded from somewhere in the house at regular intervals. When you asked Kiego about the location of the ambient noises, he simply winked, shrugged, and offered you a drink as a change of conversation.

The kitchen countertops were laden with Katsuki’s food, most of which had been consumed almost immediately only to be replaced by other dishes he had stored in the fridge and freezer. Several bowls of candy and Halloween-themed snacks were placed about the kitchen and living room where the main party took place, being refilled every so often by Keigo or Katsuki.

To say the party was a hit with your friends would be an understatement; they had all shown up roughly around the same time in elaborate costumes, both to impress their respective friends' soulmates and win the costume contest you had devised at the last minute. The winner, you had told them, would get to take home a dessert of their choice prepared by Katsuki at the end of the night. You had planned on giving everyone’s costume a fair shake, you really had! But when Momo showed up in a stunning white ball gown adorned with jewels that glittered like stars under even the dim party light, you knew who was taking the prize home that night.

“The dress itself is a genuine relic,” You heard her telling Ochaco, Tsu, Toga, and Mina who had all surrounded her the moment she walked in “but the jewels are from the family vault. They’re non-authentic but similarly cut to the originals that Marie Antoinette would have worn.”

Jiro, who was dressed as a vampire in rather authentic-looking gothic garb, slung her arm around Momo’s neck and kissed her forehead. “The makeup around her neck was my idea,” she stated, and for the first time you noticed the ring of fake gore around Momo’s throat, “had to make sure she really looked like old Antoinette right? Post-guillotine and all.”

You chuckled and moved further into the party. Kaminari, Sero, Kirishima, and, surprisingly enough, Iida, were all in the middle of a limbo contest while Katsuki stood watching off to the side with Izuku and Shouto.

“Hey you three!” You greeted enthusiastically as you got closer to them, “enjoying the party so far?”

The sour look on Katsuki’s face vanished the second he spotted you, replaced by a small grin as he pushed himself off the wall he’d been leaning on and pressed his shoulder into yours.

“It’s not so bad,” he said, letting his head drop to touch yours momentarily, “I’m guessing you’ve seen Momo’s getup then?”

“Yep!” You said, placing the briefest of kisses to his shoulder, “I’ve found the winner of the contest for sure.”

Katsuki didn’t respond, only when you looked at his shocked and puzzled expression did you realize that you had never actually kissed any of your soulmates before, on the shoulder or otherwise. You felt your face heat up as you wracked your brain desperately for a change in topic.

“It’s you of course,” you stammered, a bit too shrill even to your ears, “who else would I give the prize to other than my number one?”

Shit that might have made it worse! But it seemed Katsuki wanted to change the topic as well, because he schooled his face back into his passive bored expression and rolled his eyes.

“You know I might have held you to that if the prize wasn’t something I could whip up myself on the weekend,” he huffed but grinned at you a moment later “Thanks though, I’ll be sure to remind the others who your number one is.”

You spluttered as he smirked and walked off. You shook your head exasperated and turned to find Shouto and Izuku beaming at you. Your face went hot again as you opened your mouth to say something, only to have a loud thump cut you off before you could even begin. Spinning around you saw Kaminari flat on his back glaring up at Sero, who had apparently knocked his feet out from under him right as he was about to clear the lowest limbo bar.

Grateful for the distraction you moved away from your two best friends and around the limbo contest, now turned wrestling match, and into the corner where you found Hitoshi and Dabi both leaning up against the wall.

“Hello there cuties,” you greeted “Having a good time?”

“You know it,” Hitoshi’s deep timber never failed to send shivers up your spine, even when he was saying the most mundane of things, “you enjoying yourself as well kitten?”

“But of course!” You said, playing off the effect the pet name had on you “If you happen upon Katsuki, don’t believe anything he says about being number one at anything, okay?”

“I never do,” Hitoshi chuckled, taking a swig of his drink and watching Kaminari attempt to body slam Sero. You hummed in response and  leaned forward to spy Dabi on his other side. “Having a good time, Dabs?”

Dabi didn’t respond immediately, instead turning his head towards you very slowly and blinking owlishly. He seemed to just realize you had gotten there, and he jolted a moment later after realizing you had addressed him.

“Like your costume, mouse,” he made an attempt at his usual cocky smirk but missed the mark when his face twitched and he faltered into a soft giggle. You cocked you head to the side and considered this odd behavior.

“He’s high,” Hitoshi clarified for you at your puzzled look, “higher than most here, I’d say.” 

It was then you noticed the acrid smell permeating the air, it was so light that it was almost undetectable unless you were actively trying to find it. Looking around you noticed a few of the others looked a little less aware of their surroundings than some, and even a few people giggling out of nowhere.

“People are high already?” You asked incredulously “the party has only been on for an hour and a half!”

Hitoshi shrugged and grinned at you “Told you this would happen, you can stick by me for a bit if you’re uncomfortable, I’ve dealt with high Kaminari enough to know how to navigate a conversation with someone who’s blasted.”

You shook your head, “I should be fine but thank you,” you gave him a quick smile before moving further into the party.

You didn’t have to go far before you stumbled up on Tamaki who was sitting on the couch deep in conversation with Mirio, Nejire, Rumi, and Shinya. Rumi had what looked like a pile of heavy dark blankets on her lap, you reasoned that she was probably cold in her skimpy bunny costume. You plopped yourself down on Tamaki’s other side and he started at your sudden presence. Turning to you he blushed at your sudden proximity and stammered out something that sounded like a greeting, but was drowned out by the music thudding through the walls.

You grinned and pressed your shoulder into his to indicate you understood. He smiled at turned back to Mirio and Nejire who were now discussing Mirio’s lack of chess skills. You listened for a bit before standing up to move towards the kitchen. Rumi flung her hand out to stop you before you had gone to far.

You gave her an inquisitive look but she only smiled in return. “Name’s Rumi,” she said unnecessarily, “I wanted to introduce myself properly, even though Keigo’s already told you who I am.”

You shook her outstretched hand and smiled “Thanks, its nice to finally talk to you in person,” you said as she leaned back and chuckled. 

“I’d stand up to talk to you proper but I’ve got my lap full right now, as you can probably see,” You look inquisitively at the blankets only to have them shuffle and reveal themselves to be a person.

“Ah!” You said as Rumi wrapped her arms around the skinny form of Tomura Shigaraki. You opened your mouth to say something again but snapped it closed when you noticed Shigaraki’s face blushing brighter than the setting sun.

“I should probably find Keigo,” you said, hoping you didn’t sound too rude. Rumi just grinned at you and placed a kiss to Shigaraki’s nose, making his blush extend to his now exposed neck. You smiled politely and made your way towards the kitchen.

You found Keigo, Kaminari, and a blonde boy you didn't recognize gathered around the table of food. As you approached you saw a worried scowl deepen on Keigo’s face as Kaminari talked through his mouthful of food.

“Be bet icha ton ova,” Kaminari explained around fistfuls of candy “Um betty good bat Mac in fends.”

“Yes, well,” interrupted the blonde, “I was enamored by him and his friend very quickly. And good thing too, otherwise I’d be sitting at home alone on Halloween night! And we can’t have that can we?”

The blonde spoke reasonably but there was something off about him that you couldn’t place. Maybe it was the way he moved his hands as he talked, or the fact that his eyes kept darting around the room as though he was looking for someone. Either way, you weren’t sure you liked Kaminari’s new friend as much as he did.

Keigo seemed to feel the same sort of unease as you did, but either couldn’t find a reason to confront the blonde or was too polite to do so. The blonde broke the heavy lull in conversation by straightening his coat and drawing himself up to his full height. “It’s been nice talking to you lot,” he said in a manner too pompous for your liking “but I think I’ll move further into the party, I do have someone I’d like to talk to before the night ends.”

And with that he swept from the kitchen into the living room and disappeared amongst the crowd. You turned to Kaminari who had finally swallowed his mouthful and was looking puzzled after the departing figure. 

“Speak to someone?” Kaminari asked, “but he only knows me and Eijiro here…”

“He did show up late though,” Keigo added, “in fact I answered the door for him just ten minutes ago.”

“So maybe he hasn’t seen Eijiro yet then?” Kaminari looked a bit worried now “I wonder why he was so late too, I told him the right time….”

“Maybe I’ll follow him,” Kaminari said, already heading out of the kitchen. “Just to make sure he’s alright…”

Kaminari disappeared into the crowd leaving you and Keigo alone at the table. You shared a look with Keigo, who shook his head and stood up. Smiling at you he offered his hand with a bow “May I have a walk with you, mademoiselle?” He asked with a cheeky smirk.

You rolled your eyes but took his hand anyway, “sure, I could use some fresh air.” You both walked out the back door, down the back terrace stairs and into the expansive garden behind the mansion.

You crossed to the greenhouse sitting just opposite the mansion and sat down on one of the ceramic garden benches. Keigo leaned back against the greenhouse walls and gazed skyward. You followed his example and took a moment to take in the stars twinkling above. The full moon bathed you both in light and the crisp autumn breeze cooled the sweat that had appeared on your skin without your notice.

“I really like your friends,” he said, turning his head toward you with a smile “they’re just as sweet as you are.”

You grinned back at him “Rumi and Shinya are really nice too,” you said, “and I think the guy Rumi’s been babying all night is Dabi’s friend Shigaraki?”

“Yeah he is,” Keigo replied “and I’m glad he’s finally come around to them, you know it took those three ages to-“

Keigo’s sentence is cut off by a loud slam, both your heads snap in the direction of the sound only to see Hitoshi fling himself out of the back door and brace himself against the railing, looking like he was about to be ill.

Both you and Keigo are on your feet in seconds and Keigo is at his side before you even make it halfway to the stairs. You watch him grip Hitoshi by the shoulders and spin him around to face him. As you get closer you can hear their conversation, Hitoshi’s words coming out in harsh panicked breaths.

“He’s here,” he gasps “I didn’t think, I didn’t expect, I didn’t know-“

“Hitoshi what’s wrong?” You ask as you finally draw level with them “are you alright? What’s-“

“Yes,” called a familiar and unwelcome voice “tell us what is wrong, dear Hitoshi.”

You and Keigo spin around and your heart drops as you see the smirking face of the blonde stranger.

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[ruzek-halstead]

all i want for christmas is you 🎄

part one

pairing: luke patterson x julie molina

when julie finds herself in a situation where she needs luke to come home with her to celebrate christmas with her family, he is more than happy to oblige. too bad julie's already in love with him, and not sure when she stopped pretending.

holiday university au

series masterlist || masterlist || ao3

ps. i'm sorry but not sorry for choosing the cheesiest title ever for this fic

🎄

"I need you." Luke choked on his iced coffee. He had just walked into Julie's dorm room, iced coffees in hand when she nearly attacked him in the doorway. "What?" With a small smirk, she backed up, pulling him inside and closing her door. "I need you. I need your help, actually." Luke furrowed his eyebrows, but pounced onto her bed anyway like he usually did. He reached out to hand her the iced coffee. Julie met Luke on her first day of university. She was struggling to find her classroom to Composition 101, when she ran smack into a hard body. The hard body happened to be Luke and he also happened to be carrying an iced coffee. It got all over the two of them, and instead of yelling at him or apologizing, she started crying. He was more freaked out than anyone she had ever seen in her life, and to comfort her, he awkwardly patted her arm and dug out a packet of tissues from his backpack. When she calmed down and realized what happened, she nearly died of mortification. But then she stopped crying and Luke's eyes softened; he asked her what was wrong and once she started talking, she couldn't stop. It just so happened that Luke was also in Composition 101 and the classroom was just to their right. She was mortified, but he was cute and understanding, and they've been inseparable ever since. Sure, maybe at one point she thought something more would happen between them. But school kept them busy, and their friendship came first; so, she never made a move, and neither did he. Instead, they continued to hang out (they ended up having more classes together since they were both in the music program) and once Julie met his friends, and they met her best friend Flynn, the five of them became inseparable. Julie discovered Luke and his friends were in a band; they were trying to build a following and since Flynn was amazing with public relations and social media, she took over as their part-time manager. And Julie started writing songs with the band and she occasionally joined them on stage. They were all thinking it; that Julie should join the band, but it was a big step and no one wanted to bring it up first. "What do you need me for?" Luke asked. If he weren't so focused on his iced coffee (it was so delicious), he would have noticed she was pacing the small floor of her dorm and chewing nervously on her fingernails. When she didn't immediately reply, he looked up. "Jules, talk to me. What's up?" She stopped her pacing and moved to stand in front of him. He was gazing at her with soft brown eyes and she just wanted to melt because of how utterly adorable he looked. "I did a thing," she admitted, but didn't elaborate any further. "I do a lot of things every day, Jules. You'll need to give me a bit more than that," he replied with a smirk. Julie still appeared uneasy so Luke reached out and tapped her fingers with his in a comforting gesture. "Come on. Did you kill someone? Are we getting rid of a body? I don't care what it is, but you'll have to tell me if I'm going to become an accessory." His goal was to elicit some type of reaction and he was graced with a small smile. "My Tia has been on my back about not having a boyfriend for a while now, so a while back I told her I had a boyfriend because it's not like she would ever meet him and I could just say we broke up or something," she gushed out in one large breath. Luke blinked, hiding a smirk so she didn't slap him and crawl back into her shell. "But the entire family is getting together for Christmas and she just assumed I was bringing my boyfriend and then when I tried to explain, she mentioned you by name and I just kind of blanked and basically, my whole family thinks you're my boyfriend and you're coming to spend Christmas with me." Julie expected him to look surprised, or even angry, but definitely horrified. So, she was shocked when he merely took another sip of his iced coffee and smiled at her. "Cool. When do we leave?" "Wait — what?" "I'm assuming we're leaving after exams, right?" He continued on speaking as if she wasn't gaping in his direction. He proceeded to pull out his phone from his front pocket and open his calendar. "My last exam is on the 22nd. Does that work for you?" Julie blinked. What the hell was happening? "But — aren't you — Luke, did you hear what I said?" He looked up at her with teasing eyes. "Yeah, Jules, I did. What about it?" "And you're okay with that?" Luke shrugged. "Well, let's weigh it out. Pros: I get to eat delicious food, hang out with my best friend and avoid the Patterson household. Cons: I can't really think of any, can you?" "Well — I — God, I am so confused right now." "Don't sweat it, Jules," Luke smiled charmingly and if Julie wasn't at a loss for words already, she definitely was now. "I'm excited. Plus, you know I love spending time with you," he added in a flirty tone. One problem with Luke? He was unbelievably flirtatious. Julie doesn't even think he's aware; it's mostly because he's incredibly kind and such a people's person, that his friendly approach comes off flirty. And it normally would be fine. Except he's basically the man of her dreams, and even when he merely smiled at her, her brain short-circuited. So, handling his flirty behaviour when it's directed at her? Honestly, she feels like she needs a crash cart with her at all times. "But like, they think we're dating, Luke," she clarified because she honestly didn't think he understood what he was getting himself into. She loved her family with all her heart, but they could be incredibly invasive and nosy. It's why she loved them, but also why she despised bringing anyone around. “You’re going to have to act as if you like me.” His smirk returned; he seemed to be enjoying this way too much. “I do like you, Jules.” She ignored the butterflies battling to the death under her ribcage. “Don’t be cute,” she admonished with a huff, “You’ll have to act like you’re in love with me.” “Okay,” he shrugged. Sometimes he was the most carefree, loveable dumbass in the world and it infuriated her to no end. “That doesn’t sound that hard. What’s not to love?” Julie was starting to get flustered and he was seemingly going along with everything she said, so she didn’t see much of a point to this conversation anymore. “Okay,” she agreed, nodding. “Then we’ll leave the day after exams. We’ll probably need to set some rules or something, but we have time for that. Deal?” She held out her hand in between them. Luke glanced at it and then back at her with an amused smile on his lips. He waited a moment before grasping her hand in his, chuckling. “Yeah, deal.” When he let go of her hand, he proceeded to flop back on her bed, while she headed straight for the iced coffee she hadn’t gotten a chance to drink yet. “Hey, Luke?” She called out and he hummed in response. “Thank you for this. It means a lot and I appreciate it. And you. I appreciate you.”

Luke pushed himself up on his elbows, shooting her a wickedly bright smile. “Anything for you, Jules. Or should I say muffin?” “Hell no. Never repeat that again.” “Yes, ma’am.” It was very clear who would be wearing the pants during their relationship. 

x

The flight from New York City to Los Angeles was approximately six hours, which gave Julie and Luke ample time to hammer out the details of their newfound relationship. It also helped to distract Julie from the fact that she was essentially flying a metal death trap; it’s not that she hated flying, it just always made her uneasy. And because it was Christmas time, the flight was crammed. Luke had humbly offered her the window seat while he took the middle; his neighbour ended up being a sweet old man who slept for most of the flight. “If you squeeze the armrest any harder, you’re going to break your nails. Or a finger.” Julie relaxed her grip; it was a force of habit. “Sorry,” she replied sheepishly. “You can squeeze my hand instead if you want,” he offered, turning his palm to face up. It was a tempting offer, but things were already about to get complicated enough, so she needed to keep her head clear. So, she politely shook her head and spoke instead. “Okay, I need to be distracted. Let’s talk rules.” “Just the words every man wants to hear,” he quipped sarcastically. Luke had opted for a very casual airport look. He had his signature orange beanie pulled over his head, with a black hoodie and matching sweatpants; he completed the look with a pair of runners and his backpack. Even though he was dressed as casual as possible, Julie thought he never looked better. She had opted for a casual look too; an NYU hoodie with black leggings and her favourite white converse. Comfort was key on airplanes. “What, let me guess. You think we should go rogue and forget rules.” Luke laughed, shooting her a quick look from her left. “Yeah, pretty much.” “And you think that’s a good idea?” “Yeah,” he added, turning slightly to face her. “Listen, we don’t need to make this difficult. We should just act normally around each other, maybe a bit more touching here and there, but just keep it overall simple. You just let me know anything you’re uncomfortable with and it’s completely off the table.” Julie nodded, biting her lip. “Okay, that makes sense. What about our story though? We need a good story." The smirk returned to his lips. “But we already have the best story. You dumping coffee all over the both of us is really a way to make a first impression.” “It was your coffee!” “You ran into me!” He laughed, gently poking her ribs. “And then you started crying, which I will admit, freaked me the hell out. But hey, it all worked out.” Julie rolled her eyes. “Fine. So, what’s the story? You fell in love with me because I just looked so fabulous crying?” “Definitely not,” he shot back in a teasing tone. “Keep it simple, Jules. We were friends and things just happened from there. When did you tell your Tia you got a boyfriend?” “Like four months ago maybe?” “Perfect,” he agreed. “But seriously Jules, you’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable, right? I don’t want to do anything you’re not okay with.” Julie nodded, her heart warming at his wide, worried brown eyes. “Yeah, I’ll tell you. But you have to tell me too. This goes both ways.” “Please, Julie,” he scoffed, “You could push me in front of a bus and I’d be okay with it.” She punched at his bicep. “Shut up, you weirdo. I’m serious though. If my family is too much or you’re just not into it anymore, let me know. We’ll shut it down and leave.” “You worry too much,” he brushed her off, straightening in his seat and putting in an airpod. “It’s cute but don’t worry, I’m going to be the greatest fake boyfriend you’ve ever seen.” Julie didn’t doubt that for even a second. x When Julie called her dad to tell him she was bringing her boyfriend home for the holidays this year, he was absolutely ecstatic. He was just so incredibly happy for his daughter and unbelievably excited to meet the man Julie chose. He wasn’t like those dads who were overprotective and tried to scare the boyfriends off; he just genuinely wanted everyone to be happy. And he trusted Julie, and he trusted her to make smart decisions and surround herself with the best of people. She had been at university for three years now after all; if he didn’t trust her now, he never would. “Your dad’s picking us up?” Luke asked as he and Julie walked through customs. They had picked up their suitcases and were heading out into arrivals. Julie nodded. “Yeah. He’s excited to meet you. Are you nervous?” “Not really,” Luke shrugged. “We’ve technically spoken before on FaceTime. And I’m a people person; fathers love me.” Julie laughed, passing through the doors and maneuvering through the crowd waiting for their arrivals. “Mine definitely will. You two are both dorks.” “Hey!” Luke called out, genuinely offended. But Julie was too busy hurrying off to the side in the direction of a tall man. Luke assumed it was Julie’s father because she jumped on his unsuspecting back and when he whirled around to see her, there were unshed tears in his eyes. Julie wrapped her arms around her father’s neck. It always amazed Luke just how tiny she really was. But seeing her bury herself in her father’s chest reminded him all over again. After a moment, she pulled back and swiped at her face. Luke could only assume she teared up a little bit too. Julie whirled around to face Luke; her nose was red and she looked adorable. She held out a hand for him to take. “Dad, I want you to meet Luke.” “It’s so nice to officially meet you, Mr. Molina,” Luke greeted him politely. He reached out a hand for him to shake. “Call me Ray, we’re basically family!” Ray gushed, grabbing Luke’s hand and pulling him in for a hug instead. Something inside Julie started heating up. “I knew I recognized you. We’ve spoken before, haven’t we?” Luke nodded, a bright smile in his face because he couldn’t hold it back. “Yes, sir.” At Ray’s disapproving look, he stammered on. “I mean Ray, sorry. Force of habit.” “That’s good,” Ray winked, “You have good manners.” Looking between his daughter and Luke, Ray had never felt happier. “I’m so glad you’re both here. Are you ready to meet the family, Luke? We’re a tad bit wild.” Julie hopped into the conversation once again. “Don’t worry, I’ve briefed him.” Luke shared an amused look with Julie. “Yeah, I’m very ready. My family is quite the opposite, so I’m looking forward to some excitement.” “I’m glad to hear that. Should we get on the road? It’s getting late and you both are probably tired.” “Exhausted,” Julie huffed, reaching for her suitcase. Ray smacked her hand away and took it upon himself to roll it for her instead. With both hands now suddenly free, she happily slid one into Luke’s and together they followed Ray to the underground parking garage. She thought it might feel weird, pretending with Luke. But holding his hand felt natural and introducing him to her dad felt easy, almost as if it was meant to be. She knew the dangers of the comfort she was feeling, but she really couldn’t be bothered as she cuddled into Luke’s side when the cold air hit them. Julie climbed into the backseat with Luke, and it wasn’t long before her head started to feel heavy and she was having trouble keeping her eyelids open. Luke crept a hand along the seat, tapping on her thigh. With a start, she turned to him with tired eyes. He nodded his head in his direction and Julie took that as an invitation for her to slide over and lay her head on his shoulder. They’d taken naps together before, so this wasn’t unusual for them. They’ve always relied on touch to show their affection; their whole friend group did. It came with the territory of being so comfortable with a person that certain boundaries cease to exist. And her boundaries with Luke were blurred, and it was only getting worse as time passed by. Julie cuddled into Luke’s side once again. Her head rested on his shoulder and his hand moved to her leg. His touch seemed hesitant as he hovered above her knee but close to her thigh; he obviously wasn’t sure if this would make her uncomfortable and he didn’t want to risk it. Julie grabbed his wrist and set his hand down on her thigh, murmuring a quiet, “It’s okay.” That’s all the assurance he needed.

Luke met Ray’s eyes through the rearview mirror, and Ray smiled fondly.

When they arrived at Julie’s childhood home, Luke gently nudged Julie awake. “Hey, look where we are.” It took her a moment, but she finally pulled herself away from Luke. The sight of the house in which she grew up in was a sight to behold. She hadn't been back in quite a while (flights weren't cheap and school was killer). But seeing all the lights and decorations littering the house made her heart swell, and for the first time since she arrived, she was genuinely excited for the next few days. Luke and Ray took care of their suitcases while Julie rushed into the house, revelling in the warmth feeling of home. Everything looked exactly the same, save for the extravagant Christmas tree and decorations; Julie loved it. "Carlos is sleeping, but you can see him in the morning. I'll make breakfast," Ray told her, as he followed Luke into the house. "I'm sure you're both tired too. Julie, your room is all set up. I'll see you both in the morning, okay? Goodnight." When Ray was out of sight, Luke took a moment to look around the house. There were a number of decorations, but what really caught his eye were the multiple photo frames scattered around the room. He approached one on a side table; it was a young Julie encased in an older woman's arms. Their resemblance was uncanny, and Julie didn't talk much about her mom, but he knew. "Is this your mom?" He asked quietly when she came to stand next to him. Julie nodded. "She's beautiful." "Isn't she?" Julie murmured back. "Come on, let's go to bed." They grabbed their luggage and made their way upstairs. Julie's room looked exactly like Luke expected it to; it was a larger version of her dorm room, complete with soft colours and flower print. "I'm going to take a shower. Make yourself comfortable." With a sleepy smirk, he dropped his suitcase off to the side and collapsed face first onto her bed. "You know I will," he mumbled into the mattress.

Julie laughed with a roll of her eyes. She quickly dug through her suitcase to pull out the essentials and went across the hall to hope in the shower. There was nothing better than a nice, hot shower after a long and grimy plane ride, and Julie savoured every second. She changed into a pair of pj shorts and a NYU crew neck (she had a lot of NYU clothes). When she returned to her room, Luke had dozed off. “Get up,” she ordered as she walked over to his lifeless body. “Go take a shower. You stink.”

She poked at his cheek and he groaned. “You love it,” he mumbled into the pillow. “Debatable.” With another loud groan, he went over to his suitcase to grab his essentials. While she waited, she turned on her television and continued her New Girl rewatch (one of the best shows in existence). It was also a bad habit of hers to fall asleep watching Netflix on her laptop, but since she had her TV once again, that would do. When Luke returned, his hair was all wet and messy and so adorable. He was wearing an old band t-shirt and a pair of plaid pj bottoms, and he loudly dropped down beside Julie. He was so exhausted after travelling all day (not to mention the incessant studying/cramming he'd been doing the entire week for exams). All he wanted was to pass out and wake up the next morning feeling well rested and prepared to spend Christmas Eve with the Molina clan. "This okay?" He mumbled to Julie, but he was nearly clocked out. While he was laying down on his back, Julie was sitting up with her back rested against the headboard. She was mindlessly scrolling through her Instagram feed, but her eyelids were starting to droop. "Yeah, of course," Julie replied, reaching over to set her phone down on her bedside table. “How do you think this is going so far?” Luke had his eyes closed, but he wasn’t quite asleep yet. “Good,” he muttered, “Your dad is amazing.” “Yeah, he is,” Julie smiled proudly. She shimmied down in her bed after turning off the lamp and kept a respectable distance between her and Luke. They'd taken naps together before, but they'd never officially shared a bed for an entire night. If he or any of the boys stayed over, they always built a fort of blankets on the floor. She just wanted to make sure he was comfortable. "Are you okay? Is this weird?" He let out a sleepy chuckle. "It's not weird for me, Jules." After a moment, he turned to face her with a serious expression. "Is it weird for you? Want me to move to floor?" "No!" She objected, louder and quicker than she expected. Luke seemed to relax. "No, I'm fine. I just want to make sure you're comfortable with this." Luke's sleepy smile returned to his lips. "I'm always comfortable with you; you don't have to worry about me." "But I do," she added, a knowing lilt in her tone. He rolled his eyes lightly before settling back down comfortably. "We should sleep. Big day tomorrow." "Yeah," Julie sighed. She wasn't sure what the protocol here was; does she face him to sleep or does she turn away? Admittedly, it may be a bit challenging to sleep when staring at his serene, adorable face, but she decided to face him anyway. Luke popped open an eye, and a warm smile appeared on his lips. "Goodnight, Jules." He reached out a hand between them. It was a small, comforting gesture but that was Luke. He would do anything for the people he loved and it warmed Julie's heart to know she was one of those people. Her fingers met his and she intertwined their fingers gently. "Goodnight, Luke."

[appassaddle]

Apples and Trees

This is just self indulgent fluff (a rare thing to find in my drafts lol) with no bearing on any established canon. Jinora just deserves nice things I think.

Jinora opens her eyes to find herself sitting on a high mountainside. It’s peaceful to sit and watch the clouds drift by.

After a time-a few seconds, a few hours, it’s funny in the spirit world- she becomes aware of another presence sitting next to her. The spirit feels familiar somehow and she looks over to find another airbender sitting next to her in the same tranquil position. Her mind is fuzzy and slow- she must be asleep in the material world.

“And here I thought I’d met every other airbender in the spirit world.”

She jumps when the other airbender speaks without looking at her or moving. He cracks his eyes open and turns to look at her with a smile. The shape of the spirit clarifies as she looks- a boy around her age, maybe a little younger. The folds of his robe show he’s from the Southern Air Temple. She wonders for a moment if he was one of the kids who died at the beginning of the war. If he was young and from the south, he might have known her grandfather, but it seems rude to ask a spirit that kind of thing.

“But I haven’t met you before.” He says cheerfully.

“I’m not, uh, dead. Yet.” Jinora winces. “I’m Jinora!”

“Oh, um, Kuzon.”

She tilts her head.

“That’s a funny name for an airbender.”

“Oh, haha, is it?” He rubs the back of his head awkwardly.

Jinora shrugs. Maybe back in his time they’d had a closer relationship with the Fire Nation.

“You seem young to be a master.” She says, narrowing her eyes at him.

“So do you.” Kuzon points out. “You’re only like fourteen.”

“I’m nearly seventeen, thank you, and I got my tattoos when I was eleven.”

Kuzon looks impressed.

“Wow, I was twelve when I got mine. How did you earn yours?”

“I was the Avatar’s spirit guide and kind of helped her save the world a couple of times.” Jinora says, trying not to sound too proud.

Kuzon lets out a low whistle.

“Nice. Being friends with the Avatar must be hard.”

“Not really, Korra’s really nice.” Jinora stretches out her legs and leans back against the mountain. “She’s actually been stressing out lately.” She laughs.

“About what? Saving the world again?”

“Haha, no, even though she’s acting like it some days. She’s getting married and she’s been going in circles about whether she should ask Gran-gran to be part of the ceremony or not.”

“Oh, I didn’t realize you were related to her.”

“We’re- uh, it’s complicated.” Jinora sighs. Kuzon laughs.

“I get that. I found out once that I was a reincarnation of my best friend’s great-grandfather!”

Jinora nods, pulling her knees in to rest her chin on them.

“Yeah. Plus on top of everything else, it’s hard to get peace and quiet when nearly everyone you know or are related to is famous. That’s part of why I like the spirit world so much. Spirits don’t care who I am, just if I’m respectful.”

Kuzon sighs, leaning back next to her.

“I can understand that.”

Jinora eyes him a bit skeptically.

“Weren’t you a monk?”

“Like you said, I enjoy the spirit world for the peace and quiet.” He smiles wanly at her.

They sit and watch the clouds pass for a while. It’s nice to sit with someone else who enjoys the stillness as much as she does. But her mind, slow in sleep as it is, still races ahead.

“Can I ask you some questions? I’m so curious about traditional Air Nomad culture.”

“Sure. I’ll try my best to answer.”

“Okay, so-“

Jinora peppers him with questions and he has most of the answers. It’s mundane details that she craves, the small things that make the scrolls and books, even her grandfather’s journals she’s read come to life.

“Oh,” She leans back finally having run out of initial questions. “This will be so great to be able to share with the other Air Nomads.”

Kuzon gives her a funny look.

“I thought there was only a couple of airbenders left.”

Jinora smiles widely.

“No, there’s a whole lot of us now! After the last harmonic convergence, a whole lot of nonbenders woke up with airbending! My aunt thinks that they must be related to some of the original Air Nomads. My brother and sister and I all helped our dad and Avatar Korra find them so we could teach them how to be airbenders properly. And most of them even stayed to work to become masters like me and my dad.”

The young airbender next to her looks like he got hit over the head with a glider staff.

“Your dad is an airbending master too?”

“Yeah. I’m the second airbending master in the world and the third in over a hundred and fifty years. My family and I are reestablishing the Air Nation.” She says proudly. Then she deflates a little. “Drat. I didn’t want to bring up my family. It gives away who I am.”

“Does it?” Kuzon still sounds weird. Jinora sighs.

“Yeah. Everyone knows us because Grandpa Aang was the Avatar.”

Kuzon whips around so fast Jinora almost wants to rub her own neck in sympathy.

“You’re Tenzin’s daughter?” He breathes.

“Yes.” She frowns. “How do you know my dad’s name?”

Kuzon looks like an antelope-deer in headlights.

Before he can answer, Jinora is distracted by a flying spirit barreling towards them. It doesn’t look pleased with their precarious perch on the mountainside. Before she can react, Kuzon leaps to his feet and plants them in a firm stance on the ground, flinging out a hand to send the spirit spiraling away in a tight blast of air. Jinora claps a hand over her mouth and stares at him. He stays in the stance for a moment longer, watching to see if the spirit comes back, then taking a seat with a relieved sigh when it seems clear.

“I knew you seemed familiar.” She breathes and his head snaps up to look at her. “Grangran said that I reminded her of you.”

The other airbender rubs his head awkwardly, then sighs and in a small puff of spirit-smoke changes form. Her grandfather sits next to her, the same sheepish look on his now-adult face.

“It wasn’t an intentional trick.”

Jinora flings herself forward to hug him. Aang returns her hug tightly.

“Hello.” He says gently. “It’s so nice to meet you.”

[originalhybridloverfics]

Don't Give Up Now Ch5

A/N: With how busy both my work schedule and writing schedule is some of my chapters will be shorter than others but I figured an update is better than nothing.

Anyway, on with the story. Thanks to everyone still reading.

Serkan was usually happy to see his mother but this was not one of those times.

He was more annoyed with her than he could ever remember being and it wasn’t petty annoyance either.

No, he was in the middle of a crucial moment with Eda and felt like they were reconnecting.

Now that moment was gone and he had nothing to show for it as Eda pulled away from him.

His annoyance climbed higher. Why couldn’t his mother have stayed in Instanbul?

He came here to be with Eda. He wanted to create new moments with her before it was too late.

Eda stared at Aydan, thrown by her arrival.

If Serkan was here for business why was Aydan here? Since when did she accompany him on his business trips?

There was something off about her unexpected arrival.

Aydan rushed up the steps throwing her arms around her son. “Serkan! I’ve been so worried. I couldn’t reach you.”

Serkan gently pulled his mother off him. “Mom.”

“Then I went to Art Life and was told you went to Italy.” Aydan continued as if he hadn’t spoken. “Serkan, you shouldn’t be traveling. You need your rest.” Aydan swept her hands over him. “How are you feel-”

“Enough, mom, I’m fine.” Serkan cut off her words. “I came here to work.”

“Work? Serkan in your condition-”

“My condition is fine.” He cut her off again, looking over at Seyfi. “Call Layla, she will let you know where we are staying. Eda and I need to get back to work.”

Eda had watched the exchange and her instincts were going off. Work was the last thing on her mind.

Something was wrong here.

The way Aydan was fussing over Serkan was more than Eda was accustomed to.

Just what in the world was going on here?

“Eda,” Aydan turned to her. “Life appears to have been good to you.”

“I like to think so,” Eda replied. “You’re looking well.” she turned to Seyfi. “It’s good to see you, Seyfi.”

Seyfi beamed. “You too, Ms. Eda.”

“Did you really come all the way to Italy in search of Serkan because you couldn’t reach him?” Eda inquired. “Must’ve been urgent.”

“Of course, every day he has less time be-”

“Because of my busy work schedule.” Serkan cut his mother off, sending her a sharp look.

Aydan stared at her son, a wet sheen to her eyes.

Seyfi shifting nervously on his feet, pressed a comforting hand to Aydan’s shoulder.

Eda stared between them the nagging feeling that there was something she didn’t know. Something Serkan didn’t want her to know and it made her stomach churned violently.

A stark reminder of why she and Serkan didn’t work out in the first place. He couldn’t be honest, preferring to hold things back from her rather than share them with her so they could face it together.

“Yes,” Aydan swallowed. “I understand you have a busy schedule but I was hoping you would have some time for me,”

Serkan fought down his irritation. “We have time later, right now it is important that I focus on work.”

“Serkan, work, it’s not going to matter in the larger scheme of things. You should be enjoying-”

“I do enjoy work.” Serkan shot his mother a warning look. “Which you are interrupting.”

Eda looked in between Serkan and Aydan. The exchange between them feeling off to her. S

She had the thought again that something was going on here.

Something that had Aydan and Serkan in an obvious disagreement that Serkan was doing his hardest to keep from coming to light.

She didn’t know what it was but maybe it was the same thing that brought him here to Italy. To her.

Whatever it was, she was going to find out.

It was about time Serkan Bolat realized there was nothing he could keep from her without her eventually finding out about it.

Serkan painted on a smile, turning to Eda. “Excuse us a moment.”

Serkan took his mother by the arm, leading her back down the steps, barking orders for Seyfi to follow.

He led them away from Eda toward the front doors. “You need to go. Now.”

“Serkan, I came all the way here for you.” Aydan protested.

“I didn’t ask you to,” Serkan spoke through clenched teeth.

Aydan swallowed down her hurt and looked away from him.

Serkan sighed, rolling his eyes heavenward realizing he was being too harsh given the circumstances.

“I understand you’re concerned but I am working hard in mending fences and reconnecting with Eda. I don’t need to be interrupted. It’s better when we are alone.”

“Are you going to tell her?” Seyfi wondered, wringing his hands.

“No,” Serkan's eyes were sharp. “It’s better she doesn’t know.”

“Serkan, she deserves to know.” Aydan protested.

“I won’t have her pity. If Eda and I are to reconcile she can’t know the truth. I don’t want it to influence her decisions.” Serkan ground out.

“You are not being reasonable or fair to Eda, you can’t enter her life and not tell her-” His mother began.

“We will talk about this later.” Serkan cut her off not wanting to risk Eda overhearing them. “You are going to head back to the hotel. Layla will send you directions to where I am staying. I will meet with you later when we can talk freely. Understood?”

Aydan wanted to argue, she wanted to insist but the look on her son’s face told her he would not listen. He was determined to keep his secrets from Eda and Aydan couldn’t help but think he was making a mistake. She couldn’t fight him on it without pushing him away and she didn’t want any more distance between her son and herself.

“Okay,” She agreed and turned to leave, calling for Seyfi to follow.

As soon as they were gone Serkan returned to Eda who was waiting for him.

“Did Ms. Aydan leave without saying goodbye?” She asked.

“She had some shopping she wanted to get done. She just came to insist I have dinner with her.” Serkan answered.

Eda nodded as she walked back down the stairs. She had a feeling, he wasn’t being honest but for now, she wasn’t going to push. “What brings your mother to Italy?”

“Shopping,” Serkan answered.

“Shopping?” Eda sent him a doubtful look. “She could shop online.”

Serkan forced a smile. “You know how extra my mother can be.”

Eda stared at him a moment before looking away. “Let’s look outside.”

“Ok,” Serkan led her out with a hand on her lower back.

“Did everyone you know follow you to Italy?” Eda asked as they walked through the garden.

It hurt her heart to see the flowers here was dying from lack of care but it wasn’t anything she couldn’t fix and add to.

“It appears so but no,” Serkan answered. “Work is like this, however. It takes a team to accomplish great things.”

Eda stopped walking and turned to him. “Are they here for work?”

Serkan stopped. “I don’t understand.”

“What isn’t there to understand.” Eda insisted. “Are they here for work or in relation to you because my instincts are telling me something is going on that I am not aware of?”

“There’s nothing.” Serkan lied. “Work is why everyone is here and my mother is just being overbearing.”

“Okay,” Eda said, she didn’t believe him for a second but she wouldn’t push. He would let his guard down more if it seemed she was not looking for information that he didn’t want her to know. “How about we get back to work.”

“I was hoping to get back to what we were doing before my mother’s untimely interruption.” he lifted his hand and brushed her hair back from her face, his thumb lingering on her cheek.

“Serkan,” Eda step back, causing his hand to fall away. “We got caught up in the moment. It can’t happen again.”

Serkan wanted to argue, wanted to push her to be honest about what she felt, what she wanted but didn’t. It wasn’t right to push her when she was setting boundaries and he had to respect that no matter how much it pained him to be near her and not be with her. “If that is what you want.”

“It is,” Eda said, hoping she sounded more sure than she was.

“Okay,” Serkan nodded. “Tell me your thoughts for the garden.”

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Eda looked out at the passing roads, the wind blowing through her hair.

It had been a long day spent with Serkan and it was difficult but it was also enjoyable. It was so easy to fall back into the patterns in the past and enjoy his company, feeding off each other’s creativity but it was hard to ignore the attraction, the chemistry between them.

She turned her head and looked at him, the way his hands wrapped around the steering wheel, his jacket tossed to the back seat and the sleeves of his shirt rolled up past his forearms.

“Shall we listened to some music,” Serkan asked her.

“Yes, let's.” Eda reached forward, turning it to the station and allowing the music to wash over her. It was better than the silence that had settled over them heavily with a weight she couldn’t define.

“Do you enjoy working for Efe?” Serkan asked suddenly.

“Are you really asking me about Efe?” Eda asked in surprise. “I know you don’t like him.”

“I’m asking about you,” Serkan answered. Plus, he wanted to know the extent of her relationship with the man who once sabotaged his career.

Eda thought of his question her mind flashing back to Efe trying to interfere in her personal life where Serkan was concerned and felt a wave of irritation with her boss. “It has been educational.”

“More education than when you worked with me?” Serkan asked.

Eda tilted her head at him. “Do you realize how you phrase my relation to Efe and my relation to you differently?”

Serkan chanced a look at her then back at the road. “I don’t understand.”

“You say I work for Efe but refer to my time with Art Life as working with you, not for you.” Eda clarified.

“I never saw you as my employee. You were always more.”

Eda bit down on her lip and really wished Serlkan’s words weren’t so charming. He made it hard for her to maintain her distance.

How the hell was she supposed to not fall in love with him again while trying to find out why he was here?

“Working with Efe is educational in different ways than working at Art Life.” Eda finally answered.

“Different how?”

“For one, his employees aren’t terrified of him.” Eda sent a pointed look in his direction.

Serkan rolled his eyes. “Not everyone at Art Life is afraid of me.”

“Most are,” Eda insisted and Serkan nodded in agreement. After all, she wasn’t exactly wrong.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Eda wanting to remain platonic and professional after the unexpected kiss threw herself into the work for the rest of the day.

When she wasn’t working with Serkan, she was in her office working on other projects.

It was late when Eda left the office, she was surprised to see Serkan in Efe’s office through the glass. They looked to be in a heated discussion.

Her brow furrowed, she had thought Serkan had left earlier with the rest of the Art Life employees.

She step forward, her heels clicking on the floor. She was grateful that neither man seem to have noticed.

She leaned against the door and pressed her ear against it.

While their voices sounded heated and angry, she couldn’t make out their words.

There was her name, and selfishness, and give up, and regret but everything else she couldn’t make out.

It was all so confusing, she pressed harder against the door, hoping to hear better.

She stumbled forward as the door was wrenched open and if it wasn’t for the chest she collided into, she would have went crashing to the floor.

Hands gripped her waist tightly, her eyes on the broad chest in front of her.

She knew who it was before she straightened and looked up, his smell intoxicating her as she breathed him in. “Serkan!”

“Eda, are you alright?” The anger in his green eyes faded, turning into concern.

“Yes,” she stepped back and his hands fell away. She flipped her hair over her shoulder. “I am fine, thank you. I was getting ready to call a taxi home when I heard voices.”

“I can take you,” Efe interjected. “I have some things I wish to discuss with you.” He stepped forward next to Serkan. “Privately.”

Serkan bristled. “What could you possibly have to talk about in private?”

Efe cut his eyes at him. “Business.”

“If it’s the same thing as we discussed earlier, forget it. The topic is closed. And we will not be reopening it.” Eda said. She did not need Efe thinking he can but into her relationship or lack of one with Serkan.

“Eda, I am only trying to-”

“Well, stop trying,” Eda cut him off. “I won’t speak more on the matter and neither will you.”

“I’ll take you home,” Serkan interjected and placed his hand on her lower back ushering her forward and away from Efe.

Eda allowed it, she didn’t want to get in another argument with Efe.

She was quiet as they were on the road. Serkan looked over at her. “Do you want to go grab some dinner?

“No, It’s been a long day. I really just want to rest.” Eda answered, over at him with a barey there smile.

Serkan frowned in concerned. “Okay.”

“Plus, you having dinner with your mom,” Eda added.

When Serkan stopped at the red light he reached over turning on the radio to her favorite station.

Eda turned to look at him. Smiling softly at the gesture.

The light turned green and Serkan started the car forward again. Smiling softly as Eda started to sway slowly in her seat to the soft music.

When they arrived at her home it was too soon for him. He wanted to extend their time together but he felt like if pushed Eda would pull away and it was the last thing he wanted.

“Eda,” he said when her hand was on the handle of the car.

“Yes,” Eda looked at him expectantly.

“Thank you for taking the time to work with me. I know this isn’t easy for you.”

Eda nodded. “Good night, Serkan Bolat.”

“Good night, Eda Yildiz.” He smiled. “See you, tomorrow.”

Eda looked at him for a moment and then finally she said. “Yes you will when you come and pick me up tomorrow to take me to the office.”

Serkan watched her go inside, a smile pulling at his lips. He hadn’t been expecting that.

Eda pushed her front door shut behind her and leaned against it with a sigh.

She didn’t know how she was going to work with Serkan every day and not get caught up in her own goal of finding out why he was there but it was too late to turn back now.

~*~ ~*~ ~*~

Serkan walked into his home he had bought, Engin and Piril were staying in his quest room and Leyla was staying at the closes hotel. She had already returned when he arrived home.

Walking into his home he saw that his mother had made herself and Seyfi comfortable.

They were seated at a table having tea and dessert that Seyfi had prepared.

“Serkan!” Aydan stood and moved to hug him.

Serkan accepted his mother’s embrace before pulling back and motioning for her to retake her seat and then took the one next to her.

“What are you doing here?” Serkan asked, his mother.

“Serkan, you left and you didn’t even tell me,” Aydan said. “I want to spend as much time with you as I can. You refuse to fight this disease, this illness, I have to accept that you are going to be gone one day. Soon. I hate it and I know I can’t change your mind but what I can do is hold onto right now for as long as I can. Don’t ask me to leave Serkan.” tears filled Aydan’s eyes. “I want to be by your side.”

Serkan swallowed heavily. He hated her tears evem more so when they were for him. “Okay.”

Aydan nodded, brushing the tears away from her eyes she looked at her son. “Did you really come here for work or was this just your way of contacting Eda?”

Serkan was silent as he looked at her but his fingers twisted the band on his hand and it was answer enough.

“Serkan, you know it’s unfair to get close to Eda and not tell her what is happening to you.”

“I don’t want her pity. I don’t want anyone’s pity.” Serkan insisted. “Yes, I came here to spend the remainder of my life in her presence but I will not tell her about my health.”

“Serkan-”

“No,” Serkan’s voice was sharp. “I want Eda to be a part of my life not because she feels obligated because I’m dying but because she wants to be there with me.” Serkan looked away his jaw clenching.

“I understand your reasoning, Serkan, I do but what about Eda?” Aydan asked.

Serkan looked back at her confused. “What do you mean?”

“Serkan, Eda, loved you once. Whose to say she won’t fall in love with you again. Have you thought about how losing you is going to affect her? She’s going to be devastated when your gone and wondering why you couldn’t tell her the truth.”

Serkan was quiet, truth be told he hadn’t allowed himself to think about that because he knew he wouldn’t like the answers.

Was he being selfish? Yes.

Still, he couldn't bring himself to turn back now. Seeing Eda, breathing the same air as her, kissing her. It was all he wanted. He could die a happy man as long as his hand was in hers.

She enriched his life every second he spent with her and it was enough for him.

However, he felt if he told her the truth none of it would be real. It would be pity and that was the last thing he wanted from the love of his life.

“Eda, will not find out. Not from me and not from you. You want to stay then fine stay but do not interfere with Eda and I.” WIth those parting words Serkan stood, heading for his room. Sirius following close behind him.

When Serkan turned in that night, it was to the picture of their fake engagement clutched to his chest, dreams of the life he wanted with Eda but will never have, flickering behind his closed lids.

Sometimes dreams were better than reality.