#okay sappy 3am rambles over. time for bed

[theoriginalcrossjumper]

it's 3am and tonight i'd like to give a shoutout to @rindomness because you've been posting so much cool worldbuilding about your twilight rift au and i've understood none of it and today i finally caved and went and looked up a hat in time to try and figure out what you're talking about

in completely unrelated news, i am now neck-deep in ahit fics and will definitely be lowkey obsessed with this quirky time alien child and this wonderfully bizarre planet for the foreseeable future

(i'm also only halfway through when the bell rings and I need to sleep because it's 3am but so far it's very cool and i'm excited to see how everything plays out!!!)

[alanakusumas]

Title: A Letter to Jake McKenzie (An Officer McKenzie fic, Slight JakexMC)

Follow along the audio post by reading Rebecca McKenzie’s letter here

Characters: Officer Rebecca McKenzie, Jake McKenzie, M/C Word Count: 2746 Summary: Rebecca thought he was out of her life for sure.  It’s been far too long.  Since he disappeared, she has mourned, stored away the memories, and moved on with her life.  That is, until a glimmer of hope resurfaced into her life, reviving her determination to search for Jake again. 

Author’s Note: The soundcloud audio and visual of the letter are just ADDITIONAL COMPONENTS!  You can still enjoy the fic without reading the letter or listening to Rebecca’s audio post.  The letter is in the story, just separated in chunks between Rebecca’s memories.  I just got really into this story so added a lil something extra. 

-------

“Okay, Becca, your turn!”  Your friends giggle excitedly between countless sips of wine. They all turn their heads to you, eyes glistening with anticipation with what’s to come.  “Truth, or dare?”

“Oh, you know me,” You raise your glass and shoot a wink at your friend who raised the question, “I always play it safe. Truth.”  A collective groan is heard amidst your circle of friends.  

“Fine,” She tuts, “If you had to pick just one, who is your best friend in the entire world?”  

Each one of them lean in, hoping their own name will slip out of your mouth, but in your drunken state you could not bring yourself to draft up some bullshit excuse solely to stroke their ego.  In truth, your best friend, who can never be replaced, is your cousin, your ‘brother’, your partner-in-crime, Jacob Lucas McKenzie.

“I-“ You begin, “It’s my cousin, Jacob.  Jake for short, and he calls me Reb,” You mutter the last part.  “We were born a year apart, him being a year younger than me.  We’re both only childs, so we consider each other siblings.”  A sudden wave of reminiscence sends shivers down your spine.  “I feel like it’s a mutual understanding between us, that despite whatever is going on with our lives, we’ll always be each others’ number ones.”  As those last few words slip through you, you begin to ponder whether that statement still stays true.  “He’s serving in the military right now.  It’s been eight months since I’ve last seen him,” You say, almost in a whisper, your heart twisted with nostalgia.  “I wonder if he’s okay.”  

You feel one of your friends rub circles on your back, reassuring you that it’ll eventually be okay, and you seize the opportunity to lean on her shoulder and shut your eyes tight, replaying and grasping onto any visual memories you have of your cousin, your best friend, Jake McKenzie. 

******

Your eyes flutter open, welcoming the dim moonlight, which glows through your window and lit up the ceiling you wake to.  

Ever since you shared that moment of truth with your girlfriends, nobody had heard anything from Jake.  It felt like you’d jinxed his fate.  

You remember exactly what had happened the day the news spread: the phone call, your aunt – Jake’s mom - interrogating you for answers when you certainly didn’t have any, you rushing to your room and searching every social media platform for clues as to where Jake is…It was a nightmare you couldn’t escape for weeks, months, and even to this day.  Everybody was certain that he was out of their lives for sure, and forever.  It seemed like that for quite a while.  

Until, just last week, an unexpected glimmer of hope appeared out of the blue. She persuaded you not to give up yet.

And you don’t intend to.

Exhilaration tingling your mind and soul, you swing yourself out of bed and walk over to your desk, switching your desk light on.  You grab your favourite black pen from your stationary holder and tear a piece of lined paper off your notepad.

Even though the chances your cousin might read this are slim, you’ve mustered up your anger and distress for way too long.  It was time to let those thoughts flow out of your mind and into the ink.  

My dearest Jake –

No, too sappy.  

Hey, scrub –

Would he appreciate that?  That the first words he reads from you after almost a decade is, “Hey, scrub?”

Jake –

You scratch that too.  This is not going well.  You snatch the paper from your table and crumple it up, ripping a fresh page from your notepad once again.  “It’s just another letter Reb, don’t overthink it,” You try to reassure yourself.

Hey, Jake,

It’s been eight years. 

I know you’re out there somewhere, that you haven’t abandoned us for the sake of abandoning us.  I always knew you had a reason, and I’m so glad I got to find out why before either of us disappeared off the face of this earth.  

I remember I was so heated when your mom called me, crying on the phone as she told me that you went AWOL.  I was blinded by my own selfishness, that it made me believe you betrayed us, that you betrayed ME.  

And I’m sorry.  I’m so sorry I ever doubted you.  I miss you so much.  I really, really, really miss you.  There doesn’t go a day where your whereabouts don’t cross my mind.  Family reunions have never been the same since you disappeared.

Tears begin to well up in your eyes, and you allow them to flow down your cheeks, as there is no need to hold anything back this late at night.  

Remember when we used to play hide-and-seek with our cousins, and when it was your turn to be “it”, you never searched for any of them except me, and we would just sit on the swings and wait for them to come out an hour later, all pissed at us?  Those were really good times; I wish we could go back.  I asked why you picked me, out of all of them, to be your sidekick, and you couldn’t think of an answer.  All you said was, “You get me.”  

And I still do.  I get you.  I know you. And I hope you still know me too.

The scribbling stops short.  Jake probably doesn’t want to hear you spilling your heart out over and over again. You blink away the remaining tears. What would he like to hear about?  

 …Anyway…I joined the LAPD!  I attended and graduated from the police academy as soon as I finished college.  You actually inspired me to join, Jake.  I thought we could, you know, continue our misfit character arcs and be the dynamic service duo cousins in the family.  But that’s not the case now, is it?  

Despite our circumstances, I still love how things turned out for me, career wise. I work with a team of brilliant-minded people, and when shit gets intense down in L.A., there’s no doubt they know how to handle it.  Sure I’ve gotten roughed up a few times here and there, but I haven’t died yet, so there’s that.  Fun fact: I met Cassandra Leigh and Hayley Rose while on duty one time (almost got shot, but no biggie)!  I don’t know where you are, but I hope you’ve heard of at least one of them, especially pop sensation Hayley Rose.  (P.S. In case you haven’t heard, she got decapitated. Yikes.) 

You inhale deeply, allowing that breath of air to hold you still and bring your thoughts to a halt.  All of this…rambling is only delaying you from saying what you actually need to get out. What seemed like a brief moment in your memories, was in truth a battle of emotions you never imagined you’d have to face again.  

It seemed like yesterday, your phone buzzed and lit up at 3AM from a message request on Facebook.  You couldn’t sleep anyway, so you decided to check who it was from.  The bright light blinded you, but you made out the name, “M/C”. Her message was typed out like a plea, a last attempt for help.  

“Hi Rebecca,

I’m M/C.  I apologize because this may seem very out of the blue, and it probably is.  Please don’t click away thinking this is a hoax; what I’m telling you is the truth.  And for reasons you can figure out by yourself, I can’t be too specific.

…I have reasons to believe your cousin was the pilot who flew me to my destination two years ago.  I know, this sounds bizarre, and before you ask me “Which cousin?” A) It’s not that I don’t want to tell you, I can’t.  Not here. B) Deep down, you know which one. I’m not telling you this because I’m some random passenger who suddenly found an interest in the mysterious pilot who flew her to an island two years ago.  He was my friend, a close one at the very least, but he disappeared after I flew home (as you can figure out why).  I was wondering if we could meet sometime this month.  I’m sure you’d like some answers, and I want some proof that he’s not a figment of my imagination post-travels.  

However, if you’re at peace with your closure and don’t want to visit this subject again, I completely understand and apologize for interrupting your routine. I won’t contact you again.  

Thank you for your time.

- M/C”

 You bite down on your lip.  Jake didn’t usually post anything on Facebook.  However, the one time he made his presence known on social media, he made sure to drag you in it as well.

You’re the one who snapped his profile picture, the one he’s had up for over ten years.  It’s a candid of his seventeen year-old self; seated in front of you at your favourite local coffee shop back home.  He’s leaning forward, arms crossed in front of him as he glances out the window and onto the quiet morning streets of Shreveport.  The sun rays hit his face and grey sweater in two streaks, causing him to squint at the brightness that’s overshadowed him.  It was the perfect contrast from the mellow, dim lighting inside the café, so you seized the artistic opportunity and snapped the image of your cousin.  Little did you know, he would garner a liking to the photo as well, and ask to use it as his profile picture – not that you would mind.  “Photo creds, @Rebecca McKenzie,” he simply captioned it. That’s where M/C probably found you.

I met M/C last week.  She reached out to me on Facebook, after curiously searching your profile.  Don’t worry, she didn’t expose any information about you online.  She’s smarter than that (though you probably already knew).

I was hesitant at first, but I was also desperately clinging onto any last hope I had of you, Jake.  I put my full trust in her – this stranger who messaged me on a whim - and she returned it ever-so graciously.  

Do you wanna know how M/C looked, when she walked into my apartment?  She had her hair tied up in a high ponytail, and sunglasses tucked at the top of her head.  She wore a green v-neck tee, and paired it off with blue jeans and white sneakers.  Her eyes shone vibrantly, and she carried a smile that could light up the entire night sky.�� No wonder she captured your attention.

She’s incredibly, and effortlessly beautiful, Jake. A little bit on the younger side (no judgment here, cuz), but beautiful on the inside and out nonetheless.  

She shared all the wild adventures the two of you had in La Huerta, from your first encounter in your cockpit (Princess, really?) to the last time she had you in her arms, and how you stuffed your dog tag in her hands, reminding her that you’ll be thinking of her every step of the way. M/C offered to let me keep your dog tag, or to gift it to your parents. She thinks we deserve the memory of you more than she does, a college girl who’d spent less than a month with the pilot who brought her and her classmates a lifetime’s worth of adventure. I didn’t take it from her, of course. There’s a reason you gave it to her, and besides, I have enough memories of you as it is.  

When my fingers grazed your dog tag, my heart shattered into a million pieces. Every part of me shuddered.  I had real evidence in my hands, that you are somewhere out there.  You’re somewhere out there, making a means to an end, living the life you believe you’ve been destined for.  

M/C filled me in on why you deserted your station, the whole Lundgren situation and all.  I swear to god Jake, if I could, and if I ever get the opportunity to kill him, I will.  His worthless life deserves to be put behind bars, not you.  I’ve never wanted to strangle anyone more than I do with him.

Your fingers twitch a little at the thought of Lundgren.  The thought of him - even a simple task such as writing his name down - makes your blood boil with revenge.

You rub your arm soothingly, attempting to rid the goosebumps that have raised underneath your skin, and try to recall the good, the better memories M/C had of Jake.  While it was truly magical that you had someone at your dining table, resurrecting your compassion and hope for your long-lost cousin, what was even more magnificent was the fierce passion M/C had in her eyes when she talked about him. You watched her pupils dilate at any mention of Jake, how they gleamed underneath your kitchen’s warm lighting as she vividly described every detail of the short time they spent in La Huerta, and how she rubs the dog tag in her hand, as if it reassured her that this was real, her memories are real, Jake is real.  

In that moment, you realized that the woman sitting in front you - your last glimmer of hope, “Princess” - was hopelessly and selflessly in love with your cousin, Jacob Lucas McKenzie.  

And there was nothing either one of you can do about it.   

Do you love her, Jake, like she loves you? She didn’t tell me specifically, but actions speak louder than words.  It’s been two years and she’s still clinging onto some hope that maybe one day – just one day, you’ll be in each others arms again.  And I would like nothing more for you to be happily fulfilled with your life, with her alongside.  

I cannot even begin to imagine the horrors you’ve had to face these past eight years.  It’s so messed up.  I completely understand if you want to throw your past away and leave it all behind, Jake. But please don’t let this potential future slip away from your hands, just because you’re scared.  She’s scared too.  But she’s just as feisty, as stubborn, and as determined as you are, Jake; which means she’s not willing to give up on you yet.  And I know deep down, there doesn’t go a day where she doesn’t cross your mind, either.  

I love you, Jake.  All I want for you is to chase the life you want to live. Don’t give up yet.  Because I haven’t.  And if I haven’t, you know I’ll find a way.  One day, Jake.  One day you’ll see the woman you’re meant to be with, again.  

I miss you.  Wherever you are, take care of yourself, okay?  I’ll protect M/C to the best I can, no matter what happens.  

Love, Reb.