#okay it's 1.30am now so it's bed time :)

[lgbtmi]

addison-post more icon🙏

[ sweats profusely!!! ] i have many things to say about her but also i don't want to overwhelm dashboards with random shit about my vampire: the requiem-nosferatu!! but because i appreciate your ask!! i will spend the next 28 minutes watching grey's anatomy and writing a bunch about addie under the cut <3

apologies if it's unhinged or unclear, there's probably content warnings regarding suicide or depression in there (because freshly embraced addie is on my mind) but any more questions or dm's about this creacher are more than acceptable!! ty for endulging me :3

Okay. Imagine. You're at the top of your game. You're at the start of your adult life, fresh off your first big Broadway gig and on the verge of your next one. Hell, you're barely twenty-two and now in the brief Broadway revival of Phantom of the Opera. You got to go on as Meg Giry, reviews are raving.

During Wednesday's performance, understudy Addison Fletcher stepped into the role of Meg Giry. Fletcher, whose background in classical dance shines through in every movement, brings exceptional grace to the role. Her fouettés during the "Hannibal" ballet sequence drew spontaneous applause, while her bright, pure voice in "Angel of Music" blends beautifully with Hayes, their duet suggesting years of friendship through pure musical chemistry. Fletcher brings surprising depth to what could be a simple supporting role, crafting a mother-daughter relationship with Rossi that feels lived-in and complex.

And just like that, everything you've worked your ass off for is taken away from you.

In a Brooklyn (sad excuse for an) apartment lies Addison Fletcher. Curled up into a fetal position, arms wrapped around her knees, on a mattress in what was once her closet. Clothes she may or may not have stolen from productions hang on hangers above her head. The floor is filled with playbills, scripts. If you didn't know any better, you might've thought this was once the house of a hoarder.

It's been five days since her world drastically changed. She's gone off the radar, has not left her apartment for anything other than trying to fill the void that the monster she has become longs for. Sly has been by and has forced her to go out, but mostly it's been just Addison and these few walls.

Her phone beeps. The sound indicating a new text message from the stage manager. It takes a while for her to reach out and grab the phone. Niamh, the lead Meg Giry, is down with a sickness. It's up to Addison to take over the part. But she leaves the message, unopened, another unread message to add to the pile. A different beep follows a few hours later. An email this time. She's to contact stage management.

I could curl up and hide in my room / there in my bed still sobbing tomorrow

Days turn into weeks. The walls of her closet creep ever closer. She misses the stage, the applause, the one thing she was made for taken away by violence. A literal phantom, snatching her right off the stage of the theatre that means so much to her.

Sly has been by. She asked him for clarity, for more information, for the why when she wasn't sure whether she truly wanted to know the answer. Apparently he was sent to kill her. It took mere fragments of seconds before the words had left her mouth, her voice unfamiliar to herself. You should have just let me died. It'd be better than this. The words came from a corner, settled in her throat, accompanied by a crumpled up playbill for an off-Broadway production she saw months ago. It flew across the room, right at her Phantom. One of many.

He doesn't believe her. Does not think she's serious when she says death would be preferable. But he doesn't get it. Part of her already died. Addison can't hit the stage anymore, her voice has been taken away from her, and not even for the promise of love. If anything, it's what keeps her lonely. People keep messaging her, the pile of messages growing and growing and growing. She's been terminated from Phantom of the Opera, a fellow actor texts her about how her things have been cleared out - I've saved your lucky pointe shoes in case you want them. Miss you. Hope you're okay. Of course she wants the pointe shoes back, but they're a fleeting reminder of what - and where - she should have been. Maybe watching one more sunrise would not be too bad. One last dance. One last performance.

She's made her way out, she hides in the shadows and watches people go on with their lives while hers has been brutally halted. This is it. Her final bow. But before she gets the chance, she's once again swept away by Sly Bailey, Phantom of her opera. He pulls her aside, drags her into an alleyway. Face bleeding just slightly more than the last time she saw her. It still manages to make her nauseous.

"You don't think I'd let you die that easy, right princess?"

[formationlapsz]

Okay so I'm gonna go to bed now and try to wake up at 1.30am lol wish me luck I hope I get to wake up in time for the game 😭

[miam0re]

I posted 632 times in 2022

498 posts created (79%)

134 posts reblogged (21%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@miam0re

@themysticalbeing

@bumbleklee

@levi4thans

I tagged 623 of my posts in 2022

Only 1% of my posts had no tags

#mia.mail - 280 posts

#mia.anon - 189 posts

#mia.blahblah - 134 posts

#mia.megaphone - 95 posts

#mia.reblog - 86 posts

#mia.moots - 62 posts

#genshin impact - 51 posts

#mia.violet.anon - 38 posts

#genshin impact smut - 34 posts

#mia.☁️.anon - 33 posts

Longest Tag: 73 characters

#and no please because i saw this cosplayer cosplaying nakey kazuha in bed

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Help me, Daddy | Genshin Impact

Warning: DaddyDom/LittleGirl dynamics, teasing, public teasing(childe), public sex(childe), spanking(zhongli), kinda controlling(diluc), more stuff I probably missed

Pairing: Thoma, Zhongli, Childe, Diluc, Kaeya, Ayato X Fem!Reader (separate)

Mia’s Notes: I love love LOVE DD/LG dynamics, so I figured I wanna write more about them!! This is just a start! Hopefully I’ll write longer scenarios and stories for the daddies huehueheuhehueh (casually gonna give @genshinboys credit for my sudden love for daddy doms because of her Ayato Dating Headcanons y’all it’s so delicious, I can’t even begin to tell how much I love it)

See the full post

801 notes - Posted May 15, 2022

#4

A Rich Man's Slut | Pantalone, Childe, Al Haitham, Ayato

Warning: Pantalone- name calling(slut), clothes ripping; Childe- name calling(whore), collaring, slight choking; Haitham- car sex, fingering, public sex, exhibitionism if you squint; Ayato- food??play (wine), nipple play. more stuff I probably missed

Pairing: Pantalone, Childe, Al Haitham, Ayato X Fem!Reader (separate)

Summary: He's a rich man and you're his sweet little girlfriend for him to use as he pleases

Mia's Notes: I wanna be a rich man's slut smh. Also the grammar and tenses are messed up so lol sorry bout that

See the full post

1,555 notes - Posted October 9, 2022

#3

Aftercare | Demon Brothers

Warning: Uhhhhh Implied Sex? Mentions of whipping, rough sex, pet play

Pairing: Lucifer, Mammon, Leviathan, Satan, Asmodeus, Beelzebub, Belphegor X Fem!Reader (separate)

Summary: How he takes care of you after he's fucked you nice and hard

Mia's Notes: Okay finally some proper obey me content!! I've been wanting to write stuff for them for a while wahhhhhh now I finally have hafjngakjfa. Will I write for the side characters, I'm thinking about it eheheh. Well hope you like this! mwah mwah

See the full post

1,839 notes - Posted August 18, 2022

#2

Lovin' and Fuckin' | Childe, Diluc, Zhongli

Warning: Spit-swallowing(Childe), wall sex(Diluc), spanking(Zhongli), a lot of stuff is implied cuz of how I've written it, more stuff I've probably missed

Pairing: Childe, Diluc, Zhongli X Fem!Reader (Separate)

Summary: What's he like when he's making love and fucking you

Mia's Notes: Just a little quick something because I'm feeling horny as fuck. Why just these three boys? I'm always horny for Childe and Zhongli, I'm just feeling particularly horny for Diluc huehuehue ;) Not proofread (it's 1.30am, have mercy on me)

See the full post

1,956 notes - Posted July 21, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Is that a Hickey? | Zhongli, Childe

Warning: NSFW, biting, little blood, hickies, rough sex(mentions), more stuff I probably missed

Pairing: Fem!Reader X Zhongli, Childe (Separate)

Mia’s Notes: Oh it has been a while since I posted a fic (fic thingy) like this. Please who out of these two men is going to give me a hickey (I pick both huehueheuh)

Notice the missing WC pointer because I didn’t bother counting this time smh

Also appreciate my pretty gifs wuuwuwuwu

See the full post

2,475 notes - Posted May 4, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cuziloveyou7]

Festering feelings

Pairing: Bokuto Kōtarō x gn!reader

Wordcount: 1.7k

Warnings: angst, mentions of depression, anxiety and panic attacks. Also kind of mentioning eating disorder?

A/n: I know I said I don't like angst and stuff, but since I'm a walking angst piece right now... here ya go! I did it! Someone help me out bc idk how to do tw! If I missed something please tell me! Also please bare in mind that this is my first real fic after not having written anything for 7 years.

This is not proof read, I made this around 1.30am bc I had an idea.......

It was slow, very slow, yet very fast. The first thing that happened was just build up tension. You were mad, frustrated. You needed to vent but didn't want to bother anyone. You would usually confide in Bokuto but he was so busy. The Olympics were coming up and he was training so hard. Each time he came home he was even more tired than the day before and the day before that. So you just did what you always do, suck it up and keep your mouth shut.

-----------

You were slipping. You felt it gradually happening. Not like the times before, when for the most part you didn't know what was happening. No this time you knew.

A week. That's all you could handle. Slipping up here and there, mentioning tiny details to your best friends. Until eventually you just wanted to scream on top of your lungs on the highest building you could find at that moment. Luckily one of your friends caught on and asked you out for a walk around the park.

The two of you talked for hours. Finally getting it off your chest. It felt like such a relief. You felt like the situation was under control again. Nothing wrong. A false alarm? Or maybe just in time before the damage was out of anyone control.

Another week passed. You absorbed yourself in work, house duties and watched some episodes of your favourite anime. You cherished the little time you could spend with Bokuto and loved the stories he would tell you about the team. Your best friend also checked in on you, because they were still worried about you even though you brushed them off saying all was well.

But that nasty tiny feeling inside you was still there. A little unconscious, but festering each day, oh so slowly.

It started with getting tired more often. You blamed it on work. But even on your days off, you would wake up feeling exhausted. You would be so drained even when you did nothing but watch TV or play games to pass the time.

The next thing that happened made you more aware of your situation. Your friend asked you to go out for a walk again. You guys talked, gave an update on what was bothering you but switched the topic to an update about your friend's life. While they were telling you about their life you noticed you weren't exactly paying attention. Your mind wandering off to nowhere, zoning out of the conversation. You felt bad. Your friend had been there for you, listening to all your problems and yet here you were not really paying attention to them.

The same goes for Bokuto. He would come home, ask you how your day was and continue with telling you about his. As much as you loved his stories about the antics of Hinata and Kageyama or the other players, you actually couldn't be bothered in the least. Responding with a 'really?', 'Oh yeah...', 'that's nice'.

Next came closing yourself off. You just wanted everything to get over with. Counting the minutes down for when you could finally go home from work and curl yourself in a blanket on the couch. When Bokuto came home you would usually be "too absorbed" in whatever was playing on the TV or you would already be in bed, blaming it on work or just being tired.

You started losing interest in all the things you liked. You couldn't occupy yourself anymore. The days became longer and longer. You started losing your appetite. Only eating when your body basically screamed for nutrition and even then you would sometimes ignore your own body's scream for food.

At some point, you were just so done. Not caring to force a smile on your face anymore. Plain up ignoring your friends when they texted you. And when Bokuto would come home. The lights would already be out and you would lay in bed with the covers over your head and your back facing him.

Usually, Bokuto picks up very fast on your moods and emotions. Having gone through his well famous emo modes when he was younger. The two of you were always open and honest with your feelings and emotion towards each other. It was something you guys as a couple prided yourselves on.

It was also something you especially needed. Having gone through horrible panic attacks, anxiety and depression. Talking yourself down was/is also something your very good at. And Bokuto picked up on that very quickly when you just started dating.

To some Bokuto seems very carefree and not aware of his surroundings. But in actuality, he's very emotionally intelligent. So he struck up a conversation you would've never guessed you'd have on one of your many dates. Bokuto eased you into it, told you about his emo modes and made you comfortable enough to let you open up about your experiences. This actually helped you go past the blockade that was stopping you from making this relationship official.

But with Bokuto training for the upcoming Olympics and him being away from home more often than not, it was easier to go unnoticed for him and easier for you to slip and fall into a deeper depression.

After weeks of walking around like a zombie, you finally broke down. You had a day off. When you woke up Bokuto was already gone. He texted you later that day saying he would sleep at the training centre because training would go on longer than normal.

It had been a beautiful day, the weather was nice, the sun had been shining, the warmth of summer started to peek through. It would have made you giddy had it not been for the nasty pest growing bigger and bigger inside you. When dusk came you felt it bubbling up. You tried really hard to ignore it. Tried to soothe it with some episodes of your comfort anime. Tried to pick yourself up and pamper yourself with some extra steps in your skincare routine but it was all in vain. Once you stepped inside your shared bedroom you felt the tears trickling down your face. Through your tears you searched for your earbuds, plugging them in and searching for the best sad songs playlist you could find. Shutting off the lights as you lay down in the middle of the bed.

At first, you just lay there, looking up at the ceiling, silent tears streaming down your temple, past your ears into your hair. You felt the tears slowly make their way past your scalp until they finally touched the soft pillow behind your head. You turned your head getting uncomfortable from the feeling of your tears. The pillow your head lay on smelled like him, it's smelled like everything you loved, comforted, his favourite shower gel, a hint of sweat, it smelled like warm sunbeams on an early summer morning, it smelled nice. This made you break down in sobs, which became louder the longer you went on. You stuffed your face in his pillow, threw the covers around you, trying to silence your sobs and screams. They were too loud for you, agonising pain shot through you. You felt alone. Spiralling deeper into a dark hole that was your mind.

-----------

When Bokuto stepped inside your shared apartment he tried to be as silent as he could. The lights were out, a sign that you would probably be asleep already. While trying to get his shoes off Bokuto debated whether or not he should wake you up. He noticed you being unusually tired and sleeping earlier than you normally would. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall, 9.04 pm. A soft smile crossed his features. Maybe he was a bit selfish but he decided to wake you and tell you about his surprise day off coach gave the team. Shuffling around in the dark apartment trying not to bump into any furniture he neared the bedroom door.

The smile Bokuto had on his face disappeared in an instance. His heart dropped when he heard your muffled sobs. You sounded tired. As if you had been crying for a while now. Bokuto rested his head against the door, gripping the handle until his knuckles turned white. How could he not have noticed it before? Sure he was busy, but he always noticed when you started feeling down. Was he not paying attention to you? Had he been too absorbed in his own world? Why didn't you tell him anything? You guys told each other everything. What got you down like this so bad you wouldn't open up to anyone, not even him. But most of all, he was angry, angry at himself for letting it get this far.

But right now that wasn't important. What's most important is you. Without further hesitation Bokuto softly opened the door and stepped towards the bundled up form on the bed.

---------

You felt a cold rush of the air when your blankets lifted up from you. Goosebumps made their way onto your skin. But it wasn't long before you felt a comfortable warmth surround you. Nothing like the suffocating warmth from your blankets. Two strong arms held your body. You didn't have to look up to see who the arms belonged to.

No words were spoken between the two of you. You started sobbing a little louder again until you felt the soft vibrations of Bokuto humming. Taking your earbuds out you looked up at the man 'Kou..' you sniffle softly, but before you could continue Bokuto laid your head back on his chest and started petting your head 'It's okay now. I'm here. Let's just stay like this okay? We'll talk tomorrow' he gave your head a soft kiss before continuing humming again.

Tired from all the crying combined with the soft vibrations coming from Bokuto humming you closed your eyes. Your worries drifted away, tomorrow was another day. You would tell Bokuto everything. But for now, you felt content, safe in his arms. The bad feelings slowly subsiding for at this moment, he was your light, he was the warmth you were desperately searching for, he is your home.

[annieharkness]

Glimpses: Part 3B (Kathryn Hahn x Fem!Reader)

Part 1 // Previous chapter <<< >>> Next Chapter

Summary: The Hotel Room

Word Count: 2.5k

Warning: slightly NSFW

A/N: Hey y’all! I’m not sure if this already counts as NSFW but I guess we all are better safe than sorry, so.. here we go!

_______________________________________________________________________

She doesn’t turn the lights on as she makes her way to the window front and opens the blinds. The city lights that are now shining in spend enough light for you to see her roaming the apartment. She stops for a moment to take a look outside as she takes a couple of pins out of her ponytail, shakes her head and runs her hands through her hair.

You stare at her silhouette, highlighted by the night, and only catch yourself as the door closes behind you with a loud clicking noise. She turns around and reaches for the light switch on one of the lamps closest to her.

“Come on in, Honey! Take a seat“ she chimes and shortly taps a chair as she passes by it on her way to the bathroom. 

Your heart is racing as you take off your shoes and make your way over to where she told you to sit. You can hear her roaming in the room next door and scan the apartment. The room must be a suite - not that you had any comparison or anything - but it looks expensive and you are hesitant to sit down on anything. The large kingsized bed takes up a lot of space but still looks small in comparison to the room itself. 

You sit down on the chair closets to the bed, with its back against the mirror, that grants a view out of the window as well as towards the closed bathroom door and wait. Your phone vibrates and you take it out to check on the notification.

11.53pm. You unlock the screen and are greeted with tons of new messages in that group chat you are in that is discussing Kathryn’s appearance at today’s event. A grin forms on your lips and you can’t help but bite your tongue as you type out how good you think Kathryn looked today. Everyone agrees and you open tumblr so see what content other fans are sharing right now.

It all feels unreal. You, in your element, as you are next door to the woman you admire so much. You look at the door again, right as she opens it and looks straight at you. Your mouth falls open and she raises an eyebrow as she notices. “Like what you see?“

You look away and focus on the phone, that is still in your hands, for a second before looking back up. “I’m sorry, Kathryn. I didn’t mean to intrude. You just… You look so different. It’s nice.“

It wasn’t a lie - she looks absolutely stunning, familiar even, but at the same time she looks like a whole different person as she stands there, leaning against the bathroom door frame. Her hair is starting to curl again and falls loosely over her shoulder as she twirls a strand of it around her finger, her eyes focused on you. She exchanged the corset and suit pants to a louse grey sweatshirt and grey sweatpants. Obviously, you had never seen her like that before and it absolutely mesmerizes you and you try to burn the image into your mind. 

Still focused on each other, you bring your eyes back up to meet hers and decide to just go for it and give her a compliment. “You look beautiful, Kathryn.“ 

The name and compliment roll off your tongue and it just feels right. Thinking about that, you notice her cheeks are blushing and the way her smile has changed. You take note of it. “Nah,“ she says, „nothing special.“ 

You want to argue against it, you really do, but decide that tonight would not be the night for it. You have noticed that Kathryn often disputes compliments and praise, no matter how deserved. It even feels like she doesn’t believe in herself sometimes, at least not in the fact that people could actually admire her. You want to tell her all that and make another note of it in your head, but right now it certainly doesn’t feel like the moment. You really don’t need to fangirl about AND TO the woman that invited you into her life to hang out tonight. She walks to the table she had placed the wine on earlier and pours another glass for both of you before moving towards you to take a seat on the couch that is next to your chair. As she hands the glass to you, she looks at you from above and you suddenly feel very small and a shiver runs down your spine. The shirt, as loose as it is, had fallen off her left shoulder and is now exposing her collar bone once again. You bite the corner of your lower lip as your eyes travel along the hem of the shirt that is currently exposing a little too much skin for you to stay calm.

Kathryn notices and suddenly bents down a little deeper than needed as her fingers brush yours once again. Your breath hitches, a sudden desire coming over you. Fuck. Your mind is in overdrive. The urge to grab her by the hips and just pull her onto your lap is overwhelming. You imagine what it would feel like to have her on top of you - to slowly slide your hands into her hair and pull it, just a little, until she moans, just for you. 

You sit up a little straighter, adjusting the way you sit, as she lets go of the glass but stays standing in front of your chair. You put the glass aside onto the small table that you find right next to where you are seated and think about if you should reach out and just grab her hand. It would be a move. It COULD be a move.

Her eyes are focused on your chest, she can tell that you are breathing heavier than before and it makes her mouth run dry. Unsure what to do next she forgets to move and sees you shifting in your chair, a thousand thoughts running through your mind.

Right as you make up your mind and decide to just go for it, there is a loud knock on the door that snaps both of you out of your thoughts. The concierge is finally delivering the bottle that Kathryn had ordered at the bar earlier. She takes it from him and the door closes again, but this time she locks it before turning around. Bottle in hand she walks straight towards the couch and sits in the middle of it, facing you.

Pushing down the feelings that had just bubbled up and ignoring the unpleasant state that your thoughts about her left your underwear in, you fall into an easy conversation once again. She wants to know what you are doing in life, you talk about university and work and she tells you short anecdotes about life on set. It feels like you have always been friends, not that you are now, but the thought of it spreads a warm, very welcome, feeling in your chest.

Kathryn appears to you just like you remember her from interviews and talks you had watched. She is open, charismatic, very funny and whenever it is your turn to talk, her full attention is on you as if you are the only thing that exists in her life in that very moment. It all feels easy and, just like before, you forget about the tension that has built up earlier and fall into a friendly, familiar, atmosphere.

It is around 1.30am and you are way into the second bottle of delicious white wine as she receives a text from her assistant that lets her know she has a last minute meeting for a job to go to in the morning. She shares that information with you and shoots you an apologetic look as she replies to the message to let her assistant know that she is coming. 

“Guess we should finish these glasses and head to bed soon, because those bills certainly don’t pay themselves.“ She says with a sad glint in her eyes. 

You can tell, because during your conversation she had moved closer to your chair again. So close, that your legs would be touching, hadn’t yours been propped up on your chair.

“It’s fine! Don’t worry! You invited me here, so it very much is your call how and when to end the night.”Your mouth was a little faster than your brain could work and you scold yourself immediately for hinting that there was a way to end the night other than simply talking and going to sleep.

You realize how fast she is emptying her glass and a sad wave runs through your body. Overthinking what finishing the glass means, you realize that you, obviously, did not bring any clothes to sleep in.

She must think the same thing, as she looks you up and down. “Sweetheart, do you get cold in your sleep?“

You nod slowly and see the gears turning in her head. “Alright, then how about you just wear what I’m wearing right now - I should've really thought about this sooner and worn something else - and then you should be fine.“

Thankful for the offer, you nod, without thinking it all through, as she gets up to fish her sleeping gear out of her suitcase. You can already tell that it is very short and excitement rushes through your body once again. 

“Would it be okay if I changed while you finish your glass, Y/N?“ she looks at you, clearly needing you to say yes.

“Oh yes! Absolutely! Don’t worry about me. Go do your thing, I’ll finish all up here and then you can get your sleep. I’m fine. Really, don’t mind me.“ You shoot her the brightest smile you can.

While she is in the bathroom, you empty your glass in one sip and proceed to clean up the seating area so she doesn't think you are messy. Right as you finished and find yourself in front of the bathroom door that is close to the table you put the bottles and glasses on, you hear her voice from out of the bathroom.

“Bathroom is free!“ she exclaims as you turn around to face the door. 

Not expecting you to be standing where you are standing, she walks out while checking herself in the mirror once again, which is why she isn’t paying attention to you literally already standing there and runs right into you. She stumbles and threatens to fall, but you grab her and pull her in. 

You should be letting go now, you know that, but embracing her feels too good to be true and she is not moving away, either. Instead, she wraps her arms around you as well and holds onto you. “Thank you for this nice evening, Y/N. It was very good for my heart and I’m glad I found you.“

Words. Any words. You need to say something, ANYTHING. “I… You’re welcome, Kathryn. I don’t know how I deserve this and the pleasure is certainly mine, but I just wanna say,“ you get out of the hug to properly look into her eyes, “I am very thankful. Grateful even. I’ve always dreamt of meeting you and to get to sit and talk with you, even if its just for a couple hours, is more than anything I could’ve ever wished for.“

She smiles and moves forward to plant a small kiss on your cheek. “The pleasure is all mine, Sweetheart.“

Leaving you standing in front of the bathroom door, she quickly moves past you. “Also, thank you for catching me. You really don’t want to see me fall, trust me.“, she says as she slides under the blanket, too fast for you to turn around and take a look at her again.

As the bathroom door closes behind you and you look at yourself in the mirror, it all suddenly sinks in. You are in a hotel room with Kathryn Hahn. THE Kathryn Hahn. She is sitting in bed with (probably) very short clothes on while you are going to wear her comfy attire. You look at the pile she neatly put on the counter for you, grab the shirt and automatically raise it to your face to smell it. Her sent is still lingering in the clothing and you close your eyes as you breath in. 

Shrugging it off you undress and fold your own clothes before putting the shirt and sweatpants on. Looking into the mirror again, you smile at yourself and make the decision to straight up offer to sleep on the couch - out of respect. Not that you think she would offer for you to sleep in bed with her, you just wanted it to come from you.

She is on her phone and the light is dimmed as you walk out of the bathroom. “Hey you.“, she says as she looks you up and down. “Cute.“

You blush and fiddle with your hands before you make your way to the couch she was just sitting on a short while ago. Kathryn doesn’t comment on it, but she gets up and offers you one of the pillows and an additional blanket she grabs from a wardrobe next to the bed. Walking towards you, you get a chance to look her up and down again. 

Her silky shorts are VERY short, exposing her beautiful legs. She is barefoot and moves on the carpet floor without making a sound. Her whole appearance reminds you of an angel and you gratefully take the pillow and blanket out of her hand, as she leans her back on the bed that is high enough to support her like that. She stays there in case you need help with arranging the couch. You don’t, take a step back to appreciate your work and turn around to look at her again. 

Not realizing she was still in the same spot, you find yourself very close the her once again and bite your lip as you try to avoid eye contact. Instead, your eyes travel down to the loose silky tank top she is wearing that exposes way too much skin and your tongue finds its way out of your mouth to wet your lips. She notices.

“Eyes up here, sweetheart.“ A soft chuckle comes out of her mouth as she shakes her head and makes her way back to bed, leaving you in a state of absolute shock.

“Alright, it’s time.“ She waits for you to get comfortable on the couch before she turns the lights of completely, making sure to wish you a good night in the process.

Kathryn didn’t want to make the decision to send you on the couch. Hell, she would’ve loved to hold you close, even though she wasn’t sure if that would've been a good decision, either. She looks at you and where she assumes your head is placed right now, as it is too dark to actually see your face.

You offered to stay on the couch. Out of respect.

She likes that.

[sequinsmile-x]

His Girls

For my dear friend @sweetsecretskeptinside , who loves the idea of Aaron being a girl dad probably more than I do. Part of the Full House series Rating: Mature (for the tiniest bit of spice, but mostly because Emily has a potty mouth) 

Trigger Warning: mentions of people throwing up/being sick Read over on a03, or below the cut

“I should cancel.” She says, nervously biting her lip as she readjusted their daughter on her hip. “I don’t think it’s a good idea if I go.”

Ivy was unwell, a cold making their usually happy baby very cranky. Emily was standing by their front door, dressed in a knee length red dress, her hair curled to perfection and her make up painstakingly applied. She looked beautiful, as she always did, but on edge. She had Ivy curled in her arms, the 9 month old practically trying to crawl under her skin as she clambered to get impossibly closer to her mother.

Aaron was usually the favourite, the one Ivy would seek out at any given moment, but as soon as she was sick she was all about Emily. Demanding her mother’s embrace and attention.

“Em, love, it’s your bachelorette party.” He says, trying to reason with her. “If you don’t go it’s kind of pointless.”

“But she’s sick.” Emily rocks Ivy, gently patting her back at the same time to try and soothe the rattle in her chest. Each cough that came from her daughter made Emily’s heart constrict. “She needs me.”

Aaron closes the gap between them then pulls his fiancee and daughter into his arms. “She does, but I’ll be here.” He soothes, pressing a kiss to Emily’s temple. “And you need to go out with your friends, when was the last time you did that?”

He knew the answer was long before Ivy was born, her reluctance to go to bars with Penelope and JJ whilst pregnant born out of being the designated driver, and having to ignore many questions about her sex life with Aaron. He still remembers her coming home one night when she was 5 months pregnant, frustrated to the point of tears over how different things were.

He also knew that some of her hesitance to go out now was that this was the first time she was willingly spending a night away from their daughter. Emily had gone back to work months ago, when Ivy was 4 months old, so had been away on several cases since then, but she’d turned down many requests from Penelope for girls' nights in the interim. Wanting to spend as much time with Ivy as she could when she didn’t need to be away.

Aaron loves her for it, how much she adores their daughter. She was exactly the mother he always knew she would be, the one he assured her she was when she struggled to believe she could do it during her pregnancy and the hard early days of motherhood. But he knew she needed some of her old self back, to remind herself of who she was outside of the BAU and their home. So despite how much he selfishly wanted her to stay home, how he knew Ivy would settle easier with her there, and how he struggled to sleep without Emily next to him, he was encouraging her to go out.

Emily sighs. “A long time ago.” She runs her hand up and down Ivy’s back again, who now had her face pressed into Emily’s neck.

“We’ll be fine here.” Aaron says, gently easing the baby into his own arms. “She’ll go to sleep soon anyway, and then Jack and I will watch a movie.”

Her hands twitch to reach out for Ivy when the little girl starts to cry again, but the doorbell rings before she can talk anymore about cancelling her night out. Emily sighs as she turns to open the door, a fake smile plastered on her face as Penelope enthusiastically greets her, pulling her into a hug.

Ivy cries, drawing the attention back to her. Emily is by Aaron’s side immediately, her hand on her daughter's back. She kisses her hair, soothing her with gentle words.

Aaron and Penelope exchange a quick look whilst Emily kisses the back of Ivy’s head, and an understanding passes between them before Emily can change her mind again about going out.

“Come on.” Penelope says as she links her arm through Emily’s. “The bride-to-be can’t be late to her own bachelorette party.” She tugs Emily towards the door, not really giving her any choice in the matter. “Your adorable mini-me will still be here when you get back.”

Emily throws Aaron a smile over her shoulder as she leaves, watches as he gently bounces a still cranky Ivy. “Call me if you need me to come home.”

“Have fun, sweetheart.” He says as the door closes behind them, unable to resist smiling when he could still hear Penelope’s enthusiastic voice as they walked away from the house. He looks down to Ivy in his arms, and rubs her back when she coughs again. “Why don’t we go see what your brother is up to?”

Ivy promptly throws up on him and he sighs.

It was going to be a long night. ______________________

Aaron is surprised when JJ brings Emily home only three hours later. When he opens the front door and sees her leaning against their friend, a giggle on her lips and a very hazy look in her eyes, he realises this might be the drunkest he’s ever seen her.

“Is she ok?” He asks, not quite covering the panic in his voice as he takes her from JJ, who made sure Emily was fully leaning against him before she let go.

“She got really drunk, really fast.” JJ explains, a sheepish look on her face. “The same thing happened to me my first night out after I had Henry.”

Realisation dawns on him, a memory of Haley getting absolutely wasted her first night out with her friends after she had Jack. Her tolerance changed, but her expectations of her ability to drink wine like it was going out of fashion remained the same.

Emily could drink like no one he had ever met. He attributed it to her growing up in Europe. Wine and hard liquor were her drinks of choice as a teenager, as opposed to the wine coolers and beer she was more likely to have drunk if she had been in the US. He could smell absinthe on her breath, and he wondered if they’d even bothered to eat anything before they went straight into the heavy drinking.

“Thanks for bringing her home, JJ.”

JJ nods at him, and mercifully ignores it when Emily clearly palms the front of his jeans. She always had been a handsy drunk. He thanks JJ again before closing the door, and he thinks logistically about how he was going to get Emily upstairs.

“You’re very handsome.” She slurs into his cheek, hand moving round to his back pocket, slipping in and grabbing a handful of his ass. “So pretty.”

Aaron stifles a laugh, knowing when he tells her about this in the morning she’ll be embarrassed. “Ok, sweetheart.”

She somehow stumbles on the spot and he knows he has no choice but to carry her. He wraps an arm around her back and places one under her thighs, lifting her into his arms. As soon as she is leaning against his chest she loops an arm around his neck, sleepiness taking her almost instantly.

He gets her into bed managing to change her into one of his t-shirts and get her shoes off, tucking her in. When he gets in next to her she rolls towards the edge of the bed. “Need to check on Ivy.”

“Not now, sweetheart.” He laughs pulling her back towards him. “She’s sleeping, just like need to.”

“I need you.”

He kisses the top of her head. “I’m right here.” ______________________

He suddenly wakes up at 1.30am and at first he’s not sure what’s woken him. Aaron sits up in bed and quickly realises it’s empty next to him. He hears retching coming from the ensuite and is out of bed quickly.

He finds her kneeling on the bathroom floor, just flushing the toilet as she sits back, groaning as she turns back to look at him. He sits on the floor behind her and rubs her back. “Oh, sweetheart.”

“I used to be able to drink more than this.” She laments, all but crawling the small distance from where she’d been laying on the bathroom floor into his lap, curling up into him like a cat. “I cannot remember the last time I got sick. I think I was a teenager.”

Aaron smiled to himself as he stroked her hair. She wasn’t wrong, she could usually drink the entire BAU under the table. Derek never learnt, always daring her to drinking challenges he would inevitably lose. The worst Emily ever got was a hangover, a headache that made her head feel like it was going to explode as she begged him to stay in bed with her. He’d never seen her get sick with it before.

“Sweetheart, you had a baby 9 months ago. And you only just stopped nursing her. Your tolerance has probably changed.”

She groans and presses her face into his thigh, curling tighter into his lap. “So what you’re saying is this is our sweet little girl's fault?”

He laughs at that. “No, what I’m saying is that you probably shouldn’t have gone straight for the absinthe.”

He feels her gag at the mention of alcohol and stops himself from laughing, knowing she would kill him for it even in her inebriated state. “Hindsight is a wonderful thing, Aaron.”

Aaron is about to ask her if she is fine to go back to bed when she wrenches herself from his lap, head bent over the toilet bowl again as she throws up again. He holds her hair with one hand and gently rubs her back between her shoulders. “You’re okay, Em.”

She groans, pulling back and leaning against him.

“You done?” He asks gently, hand still rubbing circles on her back. Her answer is a nod, and he flushes the toilet. He gets on his knees to reach for a washcloth off the counter, and he runs it under the tap before sitting back down next to her.

She apologises again as he washes her face gently with a washcloth, wiping away tears and vomit as she murmurs threats towards Penelope that he knows she would never carry out.

“You’re ok, love.” He soothes, pulling her hair back into a ponytail with a hair tie he had found on the floor.

“I’m a mess.” She laments, leaning against him. “I don’t know why you want to marry me.”

“Because I treasure you.” He replies, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “Besides this isn’t that different from when you were pregnant with Ivy, except this time I can make it better.”

“You make everything better.” She mumbles into his neck, finally sounding sleepy. Aaron smiles and kisses the top of her head.

“Do you think you can make it to bed?”

She shakes her head against him. “No.” She swallows, grimacing at the taste in her mouth. “You can go though.”

He scoffs. “Like I’m going to leave you on the bathroom floor alone.” Aaron kisses her forehead. “I’ll be right back.” He leaves the bathroom and grabs a couple of pillows from their bed as well as the comforter.

He sits back down on the floor, and settles with his back to the bath, a pillow between him and the hard surface. He pulls her to his side so she can lay on him, a pillow on his thigh for her to rest her head on. When she’s settled against him he places the comforter over her.

“I’m sorry.” She apologies again, words slurring due to her sleepy state and the alcohol in her system.

“Stop apologising.” He replies, cupping the back of her head. “I love you, part of that is looking after you when you’re sick.”

“Even when it’s self-inflicted?”

“Especially then.” He soothes. “It’s just another way you and Ivy are similar.” He jokes. “I’ve had both of you throw up on me tonight.”

She lifts her head, too quickly if the groan that followed was any indication, and looks at him with concern laced through her features. “She was sick? You should have called.”

“Em.” He placates, lowering her head back down into his lap, scratching his blunt fingernails over her scalp. “She is fine, she just coughed a little too much that's all. It was only once.” He continues the way he’s scratching her head, knowing it never fails to lull her to sleep. “Now try and get some rest, baby. I’ll be here if you need me.”

She sleeps for two hours against him, and when it becomes clear she will sleep through what is left of the night he gently removes himself from under her. Despite a slight protest in his back he picks her up off the floor, gathering her into his arms so he can settle her into their bed. She doesn’t wake at all, a true sign of just how much she must have drunk. He places the comforter back over her and puts an empty trash can on the floor on her side of the bed.

Aaron slips into bed next to her and falls asleep as quickly, the warmth of her body providing comfort he could never find elsewhere. ______________________

Emily wakes up in the morning feeling awful. Aaron is not in bed next to her, but there is a glass of water on the nightstand along with some painkillers. She quickly takes them, carefully sipping the water as she does so, her stomach still unsettled.

She gets in the shower, washes away the lingering stench of liquor she swears she can smell on her skin. And she brushes her teeth to get rid of the awful taste in her mouth.

When she gets downstairs no one is in the house. She grabs her cell phone off of the kitchen counter, not even sure how it got there in the first place, and is about to call Aaron when the front door opens.

Aaron walks in, Ivy’s car seat in one hand and a McDonald’s bag in the other. Jack walks in right behind him, another McDonald's bag in his hands and a big smile on his face. As the smell of greasy food gets to her nose she doesn’t think she has ever loved her fiance more.

“You, Aaron Hotchner, are a GOD.” She kisses him before taking the baby carrier from his hand, leaving it to him to sort out whatever food he’d bought. Emily smiles at Ivy as she lifts her out. “Hi sweet girl. I missed you last night.” Ivy coughs against her and Emily frowns at the pitiful sound that comes out of her. “Oh, baby.”

“Em.”

She turns to look at Aaron and can’t help the laugh that escapes her when she sees the pile of hash browns he has bought.

“I love you so much.” She says as she reaches for one. “I can’t wait to marry you.”

“Me or the hashbrowns?” He quips, a wide smile on his face.

Emily bites into the food in question and groans. “It’s about 50/50 right now I’m not going to lie, honey.” ______________________

Ivy cries throughout their entire wedding ceremony. The little girl reaching for her father from Derek’s arms, clearly feeling as if she was missing out on something.

Aaron looks up at his bride, once again taken aback by how beautiful she looked. She gives him a quick nod before looking down to Jack who was standing by Aaron’s side, and she gives the young boy a wink.

Aaron walks over to the front row and takes Ivy from Derek, her tears clearing up almost instantly when she is in her fathers arms. He goes back to the front, apologising to the officiant before looking back at Emily.

“Hi, sweetheart.” Emily whispers to Ivy. “Didn’t want to miss out on the fun, huh?”

They smile widely at each other when they are told they are man and wife, and she leans forward and kisses him, laughing against his lips when Ivy grabs at her. Tiny fingers digging into the lace of her dress at her shoulder. Emily pulls back from her husband and beams at her daughter, taking her into her own arms. She rests Ivy on her hip and kisses Aaron again.

He places his hand on Emily’s cheek, holds her in place despite the good natured jeering from their guests. When he pulls back he keeps his hand on her face, thumb skimming over her cheek bone. He smiles as he looks at them both together, Ivy resting her head on Emily’s shoulder. He wraps his arm around Jack's shoulder and pulls him towards him, and with his whole family within reach he doesn’t think he’s ever been happier. ______________________

Once the festivities at Dave’s have ended they go back to their own house. Jack and Ivy fast asleep by the time they get home, the long day having taken it out of them. Aaron carries in Jack, and Emily takes Ivy, whispering to him that she’d meet him in their room once they’d settled the kids down.

Aaron pulls Jack’s bedroom door closed behind him and smiles when he sees light still filtering out from under the door to Ivy’s nursery. He walks in and his smile widens when he sees Emily pacing the room, still in her wedding dress, their daughter fast asleep in her arms as she speaks to her in both English and French.

“My girls.” He whispers, and it draws Emily’s attention to him, a beautiful smile on her face and a flush to her cheeks as she sees him.

“She started to wake up when I went to put her down.” Emily explains, tilting her head back to look at the baby against her chest. “Although she seems to be out now.”

“I’ll take her.” He says, reaching his arms out and gently taking Ivy, both relieved when she stays asleep. “You go to bed, love. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay.” She kisses Ivy’s head. “Goodnight, baby.” ______________________

He helps her unbutton her dress, the tiny buttons down her back almost too small for his hands to undo. She sighs as his hand traces up her spine, loosening the dress over her shoulders. Aaron doesn’t miss how she yawns as she steps out of it, the lingerie underneath the dress briefly distracting him.

She leans back into him, smiling as he wraps his arms around her. “Hi, husband.”

Aaron kisses her temple, his smile wide against her skin. “Hi, wife.” He’s about to trail his hand down her belly, run his fingers over the lace of what she is wearing, but she yawns again and his decision is made.

He shrugs off his jacket and then his shirt, settling the shirt over her shoulders. He turns her around and does up a couple of the buttons before kissing her. When he pulls back he rests his forehead against hers. “Let's get into bed.”

Emily climbs into bed and he follows after stripping off the rest of his clothes. Aaron pulls her towards him, settling her tightly against him.

“Shouldn’t we fuck or something?” She asks, pressing her face into his neck. “It is our wedding night.”

Aaron laughs and grabs her leg, resting it over his waist. He runs his fingers up and down her thigh. “You’re tired, Em. It’s been a long day and you need sleep. We have forever for everything else.”

She hums, sleep already overtaking her. “What did I do to deserve you?”

He kisses her forehead, and gives the only answer he has for her. “You’re you.”

[smol-and-grumpy]

Something Just Like This - CH33

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: Dean Winchester, mobster boss. He’s a little cocky, a lot ruthless and more often than not, short tempered. But he’s also, Dean Winchester, a war veteran and hero who suffers under a shit ton of PTS. He met her in a bar and thinks it’s fate that brought her to him. Little does he know why she’s really here.

Warnings: Fluff, NSFW, but also so much angst. I’m sorry.

WC: 3799

A/N: I posted two chapters back to back. Please read CH32 first if you haven’t yet.

SERIES MASTERLIST

Y/N’s busy with class for the next two months, finishing four paintings for a school exhibition and of course Dean ends up buying one of them (he wanted to buy all four but she told him that they only have space for one painting at the apartment), and spends a ridiculous amount on it, too. But the money is for a good cause so she let him. 

He shakes hands with her teachers at the exhibit and she thinks it’s ridiculous how everyone is fawning over him, teachers and students alike. She can’t blame them though, Dean can turn on his business persona like a switch and he’s charming, too. Which, in hindsight, put her in this position as his girlfriend in the first place. 

The girls of her class corner him, and she just laughs when he looks over to her as she talks to another male classmate, his eyes are screaming for help. 

She decides to help him after a long while, goes to his rescue and pulls him to the side, ignoring the eyes of the girls because they are clearly shooting her daggers. 

“Thanks, but you could have come sooner.” He places his hand on the small of her back, guides her out of sight of spectators. 

“Dean Winchester the gangster needs help?” She grins cockily and he bends down to steal a kiss.

“Oh my god, they are really together?” Someone hisses through their breath and it sounds like someone from her class that she doesn’t really socialize a lot and both Dean and her grin into the kiss when they heard it.

“You’re stealing my thunder, Dean.” Y/N laughs, braces her hand on his firm chest and pushes him away a little.

“‘M sorry.” He chuckles, brushes over his lips with his thumb, checking if she left lipstick traces on them. “I overheard a girl telling her friend that she wants to call me daddy and wants me to wreck her pu—”

“—Oh my god,” She huffs out, clasps a hand over her mouth for a brief moment, “Please tell me you didn’t say anything weird.”

Dean shrugs, “I winked at her and she ran away.”

Y/N rolls her eyes, “I guess it’s time to go home before you scare all the people away.”

“Awe, come on, not everyone!” Dean wraps his arms around her, pulling her closer. “Only girls who bite off more than they can chew.”

“Did I bite off more than I can chew, too?”

“Oh,” He pecks her lips. “You can chew perfectly and swallow it all down too.”

She groans with an eye roll, making Dean laugh out loud.

***

“This will be our last meeting.” Y/N says as Linda sits down on the bench next to her. 

“Yes.” Linda agrees. “It just pains me that I’m not able to say proper goodbye to you.”

“I still have your number.” 

“But I won’t have yours.”

“Don’t worry, I’ll contact you if I will need you to bail me out.” Y/N jokes but Linda’s not laughing.

Linda sighs, “Look, I know it’s us who make you do this, but you can still back out. I just want you to be absolutely su—”

“—I am.”

“Good.” Linda nods.

“One week, Linda. I’ll send you the details.”

“As soon as I have that, you’ll get the details for your part of the deal. All your records will be erased.”

“And you will give Dean a fair deal.”

Linda nods, “I promised and you signed the papers.”

“You won’t dig for other crimes. And it means that he can walk free.” She has to make sure, even if she already knows.

“You have my word. We’re concentrating on the corrupt mayor.”

“Good.” Then with the next breath she adds, “Anything new on Ketch?”

“No. Nothing. It’s like he disappeared from the earth.”

“I’m sorry I could be no help.”

“That’s okay, you have enough on your plate right now.”

Y/N parts with a courtesy nod, her eyes are teary. She’s never going to see the woman again who took care of her as if she was her own.

Back home, she starts on writing a letter, crumbles up each and every page she starts because there are just no words that she could write that would make him understand what she’s going to do. 

She abandons the letter pretty soon and instead, she draws. This time, she draws both of them. They’re in bed, with him holding her, the two cats snuggle up to them. She leaves the drawing by her bedside table.

 ***

 Dean’s been in high spirit in the week that leads up to their coup. He’s away more often but he’s always in a good mood when he comes back.

Like tonight, when he comes home and waves a black manila folder in front of her face. “Take a look.”

“Will I find dead people in there?” Y/N asks suspiciously, “Because I just had a big bar of chocolate and I don’t think my stom—”

“—Jesus, just take a look.” He laughs.

Bubbles sits on her lap and she has to readjust to look at the folder without disturbing the cat. She opens it to find different pages of property listings. All of them are somewhere remote, with a huge backyard. The houses are different sizes, but they all have the same style. They’re mostly old and need a lot of renovating and they are spacious. They’re also all fairly priced. 

One of them she really likes, it has four bedrooms, a big attic and there’s a porch that goes around the house. It also has the old style window shutters which she guesses it’s more for decorative reasons. The house used to be white but the paint is coming off. Also the shutters used to be dark blue but the color’s been washed off as well. On the next page she sees the aerial picture of the house. The backyard is a huge meadow, dropping down to what seems like a large pond. 

Dean has since leaned over the sofa and watches her as she looks through the pages and then he asks, “What do you think? You like it?”

“Yeah,” She replies. “They’re all beautiful. They need a lot of work, though.”

He shrugs, “I’ll have time.” Then he adds, “Which one do you like best?”

She feels guilty and doesn’t really want to choose, if she’s honest. “I can’t choose.”

“Come on,” He smiles and it’s genuine, she can see that, “I like this the best.” Dean points his index finger to the listing that’s also her favorite. The house with access to the pond and space in the backyard to hold their own music festival.

“Yeah,” She agrees. “That’s beautiful.”

He inches closer to her, his breathing a mere inches from her ear and she looks down at the listing, hoping that he doesn’t notice the flush of her face. “Can you imagine? Living there? I mean, with me?”

“Dean,”

“Not now, but if you can imagine it, I’ll buy it, fix the place up.”

“It’s not right for me to tell you what you should do with your money. If you want to buy something it should be because you want to and my opinion should not matter.”

“But it does to me.” He noses at her temple, kisses her there after.

“I know.” She mumbles and then she sighs and answers, not because she wants to but because it seems easier that way. “Yeah, I like that one the best, too.”

Dean grins from ear to ear. “Awesome.”

Thankfully they couldn’t talk about it more because Dean has gotten a call and has to go. He kisses her forehead, then her lips. “When this is all over, I’ll have more time, okay?”

“Okay.” She tries to smile.

 ***

 Dean’s in his office, decides to spend the last night before the coup at home because he had the feeling that he was neglecting her, which he really didn’t but she guesses that he too could feel something coming up.

So instead of going out, he excused himself to make a video call from his office. “I’ll be in there for about two hours. If I should not come out by then, please come get me.”

“Why?”

“‘Cause I wanna spend the night with you.”

He gets up and adjusts his pj pants. She has to laugh, kind of hopes that the people in his video call would see his pants. Hopefully, he has to get up and get something and then someone who has some balls will call him out on it. 

 *

 Two hours came and went and Dean’s still holed up in there. 

She decides to go get him but she gets out of her clothes first, drops them along the way to his office and knocks twice before she goes in there naked.

Dean’s jaw drops when he sees her and for a moment she has to laugh because he just stares.

“Dean? You still listening?” 

She knows that voice. It’s Cas.

“Huh,” Dean looks back at his screen, “Yeah, I’m here.”

Y/N grins cockily and lowers herself to her knees, crawls under Dean’s desk.

She’s kneeling below the desk and places her hand on Dean’s knees, pushing them apart and she looks up to see Dean still staring at his screen, his lips between his teeth. 

He risks a glance down and looks at her grumpily before he rolls his eyes but he doesn’t stop her as she works her hands up his thighs. She hooks her fingers into the waistband of his pants. He even helps her, lifts his ass so she can push the pants down to his knees.

“Yeah,” Dean clears his throat. “We should go through the timelines again one last time.”

She grins as she kisses the tip of his dick, it’s already half hard and she hasn’t done anything yet.

“Tomo— holy!” Dean shouts as she takes him into her mouth and sucks him. “Sorry, the cat.” Dean apologizes and then he goes on. “Anyway, tomorrow our trucks will leave an hour earlier than the train.”

She gobbles him down, tries not to make a choking sound.

Dean has a poker face but one of his hands comes down, strokes her cheek as she looks up at him with her mouth full of his cock. 

Taking it out, she holds his dick up, works her tongue on his balls and goes deeper to his rim. He leans back a little, giving her more access. 

“Ffff,” Dean hisses through his teeth before he asks a question into his screen. “Everyone knows when they have to be where, right?”

There’s a lot of Yes and Yeah’s in reply to Dean’s question. “1.30AM the train’s gonna leave.”

Cas takes over and she’s back at licking and sucking him and even though he shouldn’t, Dean’s stealing a glance down at her, licking his own lips as he sees her sucking at his cock his hand takes the strand of hair that has fallen into her face and tucks it back behind her ear.

“Thirty-six hours, gentlemen. Thirty-six hours from the start to the finish line.” Dean says and she knows that he means that it’ll take thirty-six hours for the last truck to reach its final destination and from there on, it gets loaded into other vehicles but that won’t be Dean’s concern anymore.

“We’ll work in shifts to track everything,” Dean goes on and she tickles the head of his cock with her tongue, making him pause to take a breather. When Dean has himself under control, he goes on. “I want everyone holed up in the bunker. And I swear if someone screws this up, he won’t live to see the end of those thirty-six hours.” The last syllable came out as a little choked moan. 

“You okay, Dean?” Cas asks and she’s trying not to laugh out loud. Thankfully there’s a fairly huge cock in her mouth. 

“Yeah,” Dean looks down at her, his expression unreadable. “Anyway, gotta go, this cat is driving me crazy. I’ll see y’all tomorrow.”

He doesn’t wait for his men to say goodbye, instead he clicks on disconnect and slams the cover of his laptop down, his large hands grab at her arms, pulling her up and she has to let his dick pop out of her mouth.

Dean places her on his lap so she’s straddling him and he lays his forehead on hers. “You’ve been a naughty little kitten.” He mumbles and kisses her, his arms wraps themselves around her middle. 

“You said I could come get you.” She says as they part and Dean chuckles.

“Not like that.”

“Well, did you not like it?” Her arms are around his neck, and she nibbles at his ear, sucks in his earlobe.

“Love it.” He says and then he lifts her up a little, “Put it in before I’m dying here.”

She giggles as her hand finds his throbbing cock, positions it below her pussy and sits down. She moans out in pleasure and throws her head back when she feels him filling her.

Dean takes the opportunity, leans forward to suck at her throat, kisses down to her chest.

He lets her choose her own pace, kisses her and talks to her like he always does. It’s nothing hard and fast this time. It’s slow and sensual — love making, not fucking. Dean takes her nipple into his mouth, sucks at them, making her arch her back. He praises her, tells her how beautiful she looks when she comes on his cock. It gets slippery and wet and she’s sure that the chair needs some serious cleaning after. 

It’s good, so good and she cries into the next kiss. 

Dean comes deep and hard. Holds her close and stays like that for a long time. “I love you.” He whispers and she buries her face into the crook of his neck. 

He’s about to move when she tells him to stay like this. “Just a while longer, please.”

He relaxes in the chair, letting her lay her head on his chest as he trails his fingertips over her back, traces along the bumps of her spine.

“Come on,” Dean says, and turns his chair around, gets up with her still in his arms and her legs wrapped around his middle. She cringes as his soft dick slips out with a squelch. 

Dean kicks off his pj pants as he proceeds to walk out of his office. 

“Where are we going?” 

“Taking a bath.” He says with a bright smile but then he notices the trail of clothes she left behind. “And then we clean up the mess.”

She laughs against his throat where her face is still buried.

 ***

 Y/N zaps through the channels while Dean paces around the apartment, he’s on the phone as always. Understandably so, as tonight’s the night.

He hangs up, fetches his overnight duffel and walks over to her, takes his time to sit down and she abandons the remote, climbs onto his lap. It has become her favorite place throughout the months.

“What’s your plan?” Dean asks and she knows he means for the time he’ll be gone which will probably be around forty hours from now on.

“I don’t know, the usual, class, eat, sleep, repeat.” She lies.

“Just no partying when I’m not here, okay?” He has that amused look on his face.

“Yes, daddy.” She grins cockily and he kisses her.

It’s soft and she likes that but it always leaves her wanting more so she goes in, kisses him hard. She closes her eyes, thinks of the things they’ve done, thinks of him and her, thinks of what could never be. She pours everything she has into the kiss. A kiss that says so much. She kisses him, wants him to feel that she’s sorry, she doesn’t mean to and most of all, she wants him to know that she loves him.

She cries into the kiss too, making Dean stop to cup her face, brushing away the tears with his thumb. “Hey, you okay?”

“Yeah,” Y/N sniffs, “Just worried.” Another lie.

He kisses her forehead, letting his lips linger there for a fraction longer than he normally does. “Don’t be.” 

His fingers skim down her face, and he kisses between her eyebrows, kisses her nose. “Will you be here when I get back?”

She nods. 

Yet, another lie.

Dean smiles. “Good, I got something to tell you when I’m back.”

 *

 She texted Linda about the intel and in turn, Linda has texted her things that she need and a comfortable amount of money was left on her bank account for a head start. 

Y/N packed one backpack with essentials and left everything else, as well as her car, with Dean. 

She walks out of the building, walks to a bus stop that’s more than four miles away and gets into the next bus that arrived. She doesn’t have a plan, she just needs to get out of the city.

Y/N goes into the store in between buses, buys another phone card and drops her old SIM into the trash can outside.

And then she’s off. Doesn’t really know where to go. Doesn’t know what to do but she’s sure that it’s the right decision. At least one of them can be happy and she’s taking the fall. She wants Dean to be able to have the future he desires, one he’s working so hard for — because if Dean doesn’t deserve happiness, no one else really does — even if it means that she’s not part of it. She hopes that one day he’ll see it. Hopes that one day, he’ll forgive her. But most of all, she hopes that he forgets her. 

  The freight train has been stopped midway, as they predicted it would. But the trucks got over four States by the time and split in all different directions already. That’s a win that Dean takes. 

The train conductor doesn’t have a clue about anything, and the wagons are all empty, so that shouldn’t be a problem either. 

Now they have to wait until all the trucks have reached their destinations.

He texted Y/N after the train got stopped by the Feds but she didn’t answer. He doesn’t dwell on it, thinks that she must be busy so he sits back, and waits with the others, hoping and maybe even praying a little that everything goes as planned. Paints a picture in his head how he would get a Pizza on his way home, how he’s going to tell her that everything he worked so hard for finally fell perfectly into place. 

Dean imagines the time after. Thinks that he’s going to blindfold her and drive her out to the house he bought. Get on his knees right there. He thinks of the words he’s going to say when he wants to persuade her to marry him, hopes that he will get a word out of his mouth at all. 

 *

 “It’s done.” Cas says as he gets off the phone and there’s silence for a full minute because nobody thought that they could pull that shit off. 

And then realization hit and it’s like Holy shit we did it! They shook hands, shoulder bumped, fist bumped and Inias walked in with a dozen beers.

Dean stays and drinks the beer, not because he wants to but because it’s expected from him. But then he excused himself, told his men that he’ll be in touch for a last meeting, already breaking into a run up the stairs of the bunker. 

At home, he parks his car next to hers. So at least she’s home.

“Honey, I’m home!” He calls but realizes that the lights are all off. One the cats came around to greet him.

Dropping his keys into the bowl at the entrance, he walks into the bedroom but she’s not there either. He takes a look into the bathroom, thinking she might take a bath but it’s empty. 

The echoes of his steps on the hardwood floor is kind of disturbing to him. Something’s off. He can feel it.

He tries her art room next, nothing to see there either other than some unfinished paintings. 

On the way back into the living room, he tries calling her but the voice says that the caller can not be reached.

Dean rushes back to the living room, thinks about going out and tries her school when a sheet of paper flutters to the ground from the kitchen counter.

He picks it up, his heart is racing, his hands are shaking. He’s already near tears because he’s not an idiot, he knows it before he even read her words. He crouches down to pick it up and stays down to read it. Thinks that when he gets up, he’s gonna end up down on the floor anyway because his knees feel weak.

 Dear Dean,

I crumbled up so many sheets of paper because no word could express my feelings. No words could ease the pain I’m feeling. No words would be enough to explain my decision to you and make you understand. This is my last try because time is running out. And there’s really just one thing I want to say to you.

I’M SORRY.

I know that you might not accept my apology but I hope that one day, you will.

Now that everything’s over, you can start all over. I wish you happiness Dean. You deserve nothing less.

Y/N

Ps. My love for you was and is real. Never doubt that.

 He balls his fists, making the paper crumble in his hand. 

He doesn’t know how long he stays down there but he wakes from his trance when Bubbles shows up next to him, nuzzles her face against him. One tear drips down the tip of his nose and Dean brushes at it with his hands. “Okay,” He sniffs, “Okay.”

Dean picks up Bubbles and walks her to the feeding dish where Cuddles was already waiting. He sits down with them and they look up at him as if they know what’s going on. 

Pouring their food into their dish, he sits with them, back leaned against the fridge and he waits until they’ve finished eating. Dean knows that he should be mad, should feel angry, should maybe drown himself in alcohol but he can’t bring himself to do anything at all. He feels so many things at the same time, hurt, anger, feels his heart breaking off bit by bit, feels nauseous, and he’s still shaking but above everything, he feels numb.

CH34

[beardedniall]

Let me treat ya

Author’s note: Calling the numbers from the NTMY video inspired me to write some phone sex smut with Niall. This is seriously 80% filth and 90% dialogue.

Words: 2.7k

Warnings: NSFW, lots of dialogue

-

He leaned against the headboard of the welcoming bed, his eyes wandering through the hotel room as the familiar sound of the dial tone hit his ear. It was 1.30am in Los Angeles right now, meaning it was 9.30am in London where you were hopefully already awake and willing to pick up your phone.

“Hey handsome”, your soft voice greeted him at the other end of the line, followed by an audible yawn.

“Did I wake you up?”

“Nah, don’t worry. I’m in bed playing with my phone.”

“Classic.”

“It’s my day off, let me. Shouldn’t you be fast asleep by now though?”

“I should… but I wanted to talk to you before I go to bed.”

You weren’t sure how to take that. It wasn’t like Niall and you were dating. You had been seeing each other for a few weeks now, got along well, hooked up a few times and maybe you were on the road to properly dating but for now, it was pretty much just a lot of texting and chilling at his house with a pinch of sex. It hadn’t occurred to you that he would keep up the regular phone calls even while he was busy doing promo in the States.

“Want me to sing you a lullaby?”, you suggested in a teasing tone to ease the awkward tension, getting a light chuckle from him in return.

“I think your speaking voice is enough, but thank ya.”

“How was your day?”

“Busy. Had interviews for magazines pretty much all day. They’re kinda exhausting because you gotta be careful with your words. Never know what they’re making out of it, ya know?”

“And did you say anything controversial?”

“Don’t think so. But some of them pull the wildest shit out of their arse.”

“You’ll wrap them all around your little finger with the promo pics alone though. I saw the black and white ones you posted earlier and you’re looking hot as fuck.”

“Oh ya think so?”

The smug smile on his face was almost audible through the phone.

“I dig the glasses. Gotta wear them more often here.”

“Noted.”

“You should really go to bed, Niall. Dark circles are not a good look on you.”

“Okay first, ouch. Second, I’m not tired and I’d rather talk to you.”

A big grin spread over your lips as you buried the side of your face into your pillow. He shouldn’t have been allowed to be sweet while he was five thousand miles away and you wouldn’t be able to see him for at least another week.

“You’re still in bed, right?”, his raspy voice brought you back to the phone call. Was he speaking deeper on purpose now?

“I am.”

"And when do you have to get up?" 

"Not any time soon."

Just the thought of you in bed, probably wearing a pair of panties and an old t-shirt like you always did, made his blood rush downwards.

“Wish you were with me right now.”

He set up one of his legs and cupped his growing cock through his boxers, exhaling louder than he intended to.

“Are you jerking off to this?”, you giggled.

“I’m not a creep. But I can't help but think about lying next to you in bed. What ya wearing?" 

"Yeah not creepy at all."

There was a rustling sound coming from your end as you put him on speaker and got in position on the bed so your leg was peeking out from underneath the blanket and in the bottom right corner of the photo you were taking, you could see a pair of black panties hugging your hips.

Wish you were here with me too was the message you added before pressing send.

The little ringtone let him know that he just received a text. After tapping on the photo, he bit his lower lip and adjusted his cock between his legs.

“Is that all you’re wearing?”, he asked. There was a little bit of amusement in his voice but the lust outweighed it.

“Sorry, gotta disappoint you.”

The next picture you sent him was of your t-shirt that you had pulled up to your chest to tease him with a little bit of underboob while your free hand lied on top of the fabric.

“Can I see more of those, darling? If you’re fine with it.”

“Wait, let me get up.”

You crawled out of bed and sat down in front of your big mirror, fixing your hair even though you would make sure that your face wasn’t on any of those pictures. When you felt confident in your appearance, you exposed your boobs just to cover the middle with your arm before you took another photo and sent it to him.

“Just don’t send me anything back, yeah? Don’t wanna be the reason why your nudes get leaked.”

He smiled to himself at you words. Usually, everything between him and a woman was fifty-fifty. If she did something for him, he would do the same for her and more. But this was a different situation and it warmed his heart more than he wanted to admit that you acknowledged that he wouldn’t be able to take part in this little game. Not because he expected you to send him photos of your body for nothing in return, but because certain photos of him could get him into a lot of trouble.

“What about you though? Don’t want these to be seen by anyone else either.”

“I doubt that hackers are interested in the thirst trap of a random chick.”

“You’re not random.”

“They don’t know that.”

His worries were washed away by the next picture. You had taken it over your shoulder, capturing your back and the curve of your ass, your panties showing off more than Niall would have expected.

“Shit babe, you’re making me fucking hard.”

“That’s what I was going for”, you grinned and took one last photo where you slipped three of your fingertips under the waistband of your panties as if you were about to touch yourself. Then you got back into bed because you felt like lying down was a good idea with what was about to happen.

“Are you jerking off now?”

“‘m not. Doesn’t feel right without your consent.”

“Well, Mister Niall Horan, I hereby allow you to jerk off to my photos.”

“You’re too good to me. Gonna put those fingers to good use too?”

You bit your lip and murmured in agreement before setting up your legs, spreading them and sliding a hand down your center.

“Yours feel so much better though.”

“I bet they do, love. Are you wet for me?”

“Hmm so wet.”

It was true. The teasing, the images in your mind of Niall touching himself and how sexy you had felt while taking those pictures for him had made you desperate for some touching. You could easily slide two fingers in while the inside of your palm put some friction against your clit.

“Would love to taste that pretty pussy.”

An uncontrolled moan left your lips. You weren’t expecting him to be so straightforward but it was hotter than you would have thought.

“You’re so good with your mouth always.”

“Yeah? You like it when I eat your sweet little cunt?”

“Niall”, you whimpered while you kept fingering yourself, your pussy making some filthy sounds that you were sure Niall could hear too.

“I bet you look breathtaking right now with your fingers on your wet cunt and your tits out and your pink cheeks.”

His words reminded you that you should probably take off your t-shirt and give your boobs some attention so you put down the phone next to you and peeled the piece of clothing over your head with one hand before throwing it away. Now you could talk to Niall as if he was lying right next to you while playing with your pussy and your tits at the same time.

“What do you look like right now? Are you naked?”, you whispered as you pinched one of your nipples and closed your eyes, imagining it was him.

“I am now. Touching my cock to the the thought of your body. Would love to kiss you right now.”

You blushed and you were glad he couldn’t see it.

“Me too. Making out with you and wrapping my fingers around your thick dick. With your thigh between my legs so I can ride it.”

“Fuck, babe”, he groaned at your words and you could hear the sound of him pumping himself.

While he talked about what he would do to your body, how he would kiss you, how he would press you down on his thigh, you had rolled over and digged through the drawer of your bedside table. When you had found what you were looking for, you gave your full attention back to Niall and his moans while he was jerking off to the thought of fucking you. The toy you had grabbed was on a low setting as you pressed it against your dripping pussy.

“Is that a fucking vibrator?”, he gasped as he recognized the quiet buzzing sound on the other end of the phone.

Instead of replying, you sent him a photo of the toy inside of your panties.

“Fuck, such a naughty girl. I’d tease you to no end with that thing if I was there.”

“Tease me? I think you should make me come as quickly as possible with it.”

“Nah, you’d have to earn that.”

“Earn that how?”

“By sucking me off like a good girl would.”

You closed your eyes again and imagined kneeling between his legs, wrapping your lips around his cock while looking at him. He would stroke your cheek, call you his good girl before throwing his head back and enjoying the blowjob. 

“Yes I’d be so good for you, Niall. I’d lick your tip, then take as much of you in my mouth has I can.”

“Damn right you would.”

“And you’d make me gag on it, wouldn’t you?”

“Fuck yes, darling. You’d take my cock so well.”

“Such a good girl for you.”

Niall zoned out for a second. His mind was flooded with images of you sucking his dick, of your big eyes looking up at him, how you hollowed your cheeks and closed your lips around the base of his shaft while deepthroating him. His cock was twitching in his hand and he knew he couldn’t hold himself back much longer.

“‘m close, pet. Fuck, I’m gonna come so hard.”

“Where would you wanna come if I was with you?”

“Would make you swallow all of it. Like the good girl you are.”

You hesitated for a second but then you decided to just go for it, hoping it would push him over the edge and not make him cringe. As you opened your front camera again, you parted your lips and stuck out your tongue to take a photo that showed you from the bottom half of your face to the swell of your breasts, careful that it wouldn’t give you away but still let him get the hint. After pressing send, you whispered “Please come for me”.

He didn’t know what happened to him as he heard the ringtone of a text. While he was still lost in thought about you, he grabbed his phone with his free hand and hastily opened the picture. His hips bucked up at the sight and the quick back to back moans told you that he was coming. In his mind, he spurted all of his cum into your mouth, making you swallow it while he cupped your cheek and called you his good girl again. As he came down from his high, his breathing steadied and he blinked a few times to get back to reality.

“Fuck” was all you got to hear from him at first.

“Now you should be tired enough, hm?”

“Not enough to leave you high and dry.”

“It’s alright, babe, you should go to sleep.”

“Forget it, Y/N. You still got that vibrator going?”

“Yes.”

“Put it on a higher setting. And let it go. You’re still wearing your panties, right? So it’s not going anywhere?”

“No it’s… oh shit, no they’re keeping it there.”

“Good. How does it feel?”

“It’s… different. It’s makes my whole pussy vibrate… but I need more.”

“You’ll get more, pet. Now what about your tits? Give them some love.”

You did as you were told. While the toy was buzzing freely inside of your panties, you had both hands to cup your boobs and squeeze them. Your thumbs were brushing over the hard nipples, making you bite your lower lip.

“Wish I could see you right now. And be there to play with your tits and suck on your nipples.”

“Niall please”, you whimpered, still occupied with your chest as your pussy was craving for more.

“What do you want, darling?”

“Please let me touch my clit. Need to come.”

“Oh you need to come?”

“Yes please. I’m so wet for you and I’ve been such a good girl.”

“You have, haven’t ya? Alright, pet. Take the vibrator and hold it against your clit.”

He didn’t have to tell you twice as you grabbed the end of the toy and positioned it at an angle that the part the vibrated the most was right where you needed it the most. Your whole body jerked by the feeling that rushed through your veins, spreading goosebumps over your skin and clouding your mind. A desperate moan left your lips.

“Feels good, yeah? God, I bet your pretty cunt is throbbing.”

“Can’t take it much longer, Niall, please. I’m gonna come.”

“Oh no, you can. I’m gonna count down from ten and when I’m at one, you can come. Sounds good?”

You weren’t sure if you could stick to this deal but you agreed anyway because if there was one thing that made your orgasm even more intense and exciting, it was your sexual partner telling you when to have it.

“10… 9.... 8…”

The pauses within his countdown were draining. You could have made it easier for yourself by easing the pressure that you put on your pussy with the toy but you knew Niall wouldn’t if he was in physical control of this so you suffered through his painfully slow counting.

“7… 6… so close, darling.”

Your hips twitched and all that kept you from coming was whining and biting your lip to scrape up the last bit of self-control that you had in you.

“5… 4… 3…”

That was it. 

There was no way you could hold back your orgasm any longer so even though you weren’t allowed to come yet, the knot in your lower stomach exploded. You moved your hips up and down, back and forth against the vibrator, riding yourself through your high and pinching one of your nipples to give yourself the extra bit of pleasure while flashes shot through your throbbing clit. Your pussy clenched around nothing, missing Niall’s fingers, or his cock, or whatever he would have been willing to give you. The orgasm was long and intense, a result of the teasing and the build-up. You only came down from it slowly as the overstimulation hit you and you had to turn off the toy. Your other hand was caressing your boobs, making you shiver whenever you brushed over a sensitive nipple. When you realized that you had come too soon, you were brought right back to Niall on the other end of the phone who had been quiet for the past few seconds or minutes, you weren’t sure anymore.

“I’m… sorry?”

“Don’t be, love. Enjoyed yourself there, huh?”

“Y-yeah… yeah it was… wow, it was pretty intense.”

“‘m glad. But I gotta think about what I’m gonna do with you when I get back.”

You weren’t sure if that was a threat or a promise.

[criminalgirl]

I was tagged by @veronaprincess! Thank you^^ It took a while I finished it but it was fun~

1. What is the color of your hairbrush? It's black with lighter blue.

2. Name a food you never eat. Organs

3. Are you typically too warm or too cold? Too warm

4. What were you doing 45 minutes ago? I was watching Your Name Engraved Herein.

5. What’s your favorite candy bar? White Bueno (okay, I love every type of Bueno)

6. Have you ever been to a professional sports game? Yes, I went to basketball matches. Also, I was on DTM (car race) 3-4 times.

7. What is the last thing you said out loud? "Sorry, I will turn it off in a minute."

8. What is your favourite ice cream? Lemon. Always lemon since I was a little kid.

9. What was the last thing you had to drink? Water

10. Do you like your wallet? I guess. It's useful and it has a nice color.

11. What is the last thing you ate? Pear

12. Did you buy any new clothes last weekend? Hmm, I think not. The last time I bought any clothes was a month ago, maybe.

13. What’s the last sporting event you watched? Figure skating

14. What is your favorite flavor of popcorn? Salty or buttery. Let's do both.

15. Who is the last person you sent a text message to? My friend

16. Ever been camping? No, I haven't.

17. Do you take vitamins? Not really. Sometimes some Magnesium when I have cramps. And C vitamin when I catch a cold.

18. Do you regularly attend a place of worship? Nope.

19. Do you have a tan? I'm white like a dead body.

20. Do you prefer chinese or pizza? Of course Chinese.

21. Do you drink your soda through a straw? No, that's not eco-friendly. Only in the cinema.

22. What color socks do you usually wear? White or black lately.

23. Do you ever drive above the speed limit? Not yet. I mean, I don't have driver license yet.

24. What terrifies you? Hurting the people I love and care about.

25. Look to your left, what do you see? Clothes (my room is a mess, not gonna lie)

26. What chore do you hate most? Hanging the clothes or put them into the wardrobe.

27. What do you think of when you hear an Australian accent? *I'm in love* this is my first thought most of the time i hear Aussie accent. (Hi Felix and Bang Chan^^)

28. What’s your favorite soda? Sprite or Cherry Coke. But Sprite.

29. Do you go in a fast food place or just hit the drive thru? Well, I don't have a car yet, not even a driver license so go in. But I guess I will hit the drive thru after I get my driver license and car.

30. What’s your favorite number? 7 (although it wasn't helpful on my last exam xd)

31. Who’s the last person you talked to? My friend

32. Favorite meat? Duck

33. Last song you listened to? Before you go cover by Donghun, Wow, Jun of A.C.E and while I will continue answering it will change... Sweet Chaos by Day6.... And now 90's love by NCT U

34. Last book you read? When you ask me where I'm going by Jasmin Kaur

35. Favorite day of the week? Currently Frigay because most of my ongoing shows have a new episode on this day.

36. Can you say the alphabet backwards? I think so, slowly. Maybe with a few mistakes.

37. How do you like your coffee? With lots of sugar and milk. And iced when I have the chance.

38. Favorite pair of shoes? Every single pair I have. I only buy the shoes I fall in love with.

39. Time you normally get up? 9 or 10 am. I would like to make it 8 but my sleeping routine is so f... messed up:)

40. What do you prefer, sunrise or sunsets? Sunset, because hard to see sunrise when you're asleep at that time xd

41. How many blankets on your bed? 3, for scientific purposes only lol because I've never ever used all of them at the same time.

42. Describe your kitchen plates. We have two sets and all would contain 6 pieces. But I broke one from the square ones.

43. Describe your kitchen at the moment. Clear and empty (it's 1.30am)

44. Do you have a favorite alcoholic drink? I don't really drink alcoholic drinks so I don't know. From what I know I would say Rosé.

45. Do you play cards? Yes, I play with my siblings.

46. What color is your car? I don't have one yet. But probably my baby will be red🍒

47. Can you change a tire? I guess no. Maybe soon

48. Your favorite state or province? I don't have one

49. Favorite job you’ve had? I was working in a pharmacy in summer 2019 for 1 month and it was amazing *-* my co-workers were so kind and just simply the whole thing was so cool. I would like to work there more >^•~•^<

[wherekatewritesthings]

So I'm not quite slacking yet which honestly is a surprise to me? I hope it stays that way.

Also fun fact some of these things that have inspired my new writing/those blurbs and imagines come from my own life. This one, too, even though it's not as happy but I hope I gave it a good cozy ending.

Hope you enjoy x

***

You called them bad brain days, joking that sometimes the neutrons in your brain seemed to spark the wrong way or that your chemical balance was way out of order. They weren't exactly happy and they usually came at you out of nowhere, turning you into a gloomy, inexplicably sad ball of a human, often sprinkled with a little bitterness and/ or irritability. It wasn't fun and you tried not to see people/ interact with other human beings when one of those days happened, but sometimes it was inevitable.

Your relationship with Luke was quite new, not even three months old yet and so far he hadn't experienced you in such a state. Thankfully.

But today was just an off day it seemed. He needed some new clothes and other things and had asked you to tag along for "general life and fashion advice and to weight out my bad choices" and of course you were up for it. You were always up for spending time with him, what you were actually doing was secondary to you. So you had showed up at his door at 10 in the morning, being fully prepared for a trip into the center of LA, only to be met by a severe case of bedhead and gravelly voice, your boyfriend having rolled out of bed only minutes ago when you rang the bell. But you laughed it off and went inside after him, gladly accepting the coffee he offered and plopping down on the couch while he sorted himself out. About fifteen minutes later you were able to leave the appartement and drive away in Luke's car. It was packed in the city, as usual and especially on a Saturday like today. There were people everywhere, which usually wasn't that much of a problem for you, but today it struck a cord within you. Probably the wrong one. You decided to concentrate on Luke and his warm hand in yours and his presence next to you, and it was calming you down quite a bit. That plus his bad jokes and his generally just very calming voice, making remarks about people or window decorations or dogs. You talked along, making jokes with him, trying to stay present. It helped for now. 

Your boyfriend guided you into one of his favourite shops a few minutes later and soon you were discussing colors and fit of various clothing items, picking up stuff and offering it to him. He quickly had his arms full and so was making his way to the changing rooms with you in tow. Next came a little fashion show and Luke ended up buying a few things, so e of which you had picked out. After he was done the two of you were discussing where to go next and Luke commented on two pairs of boots from your favourite store you had been pondering over, unsure if you should get one of them or not and suggested you show him so he could give his opinion and maybe help you decide since you had never been good with making decisions. So off you went. The problem was that he ended up liking both pairs on you for different reasons, which unsurprisingly didn't make it any easier for you to pick one. So you ended up not buying any shoes at all. Instead, you offered to Luke to go for food before heading back to his place, suddenly feeling a bit sullen - and then you just knew it was one of those days, immediately deciding not to let him catch onto your change of moods (which would be hard since you were literally an open book to him) (but you were determined to make it work, he really shouldn't see you be like this, at least in your opinion). It irked you that it were always the little things that threw you off, like not being able to make a decision.

You picked out a small Indian restaurant, a favourite of yours, and were soon digging into delicious food. You stayed silent for most of the meal while Luke told a few anecdotes from the studio, making approving sounds every now and then. Suddenly he went silent though, looking intensely at you. "What's wrong babe?" "Hm?" You looked up at him, feigning innocence, "nothing I'm fine". Luke tilted his head and kept staring at you for a couple more seconds before going back to taking a sip from his ice tea. He didn't push the issue any further when you were done, grabbing your hand the second you left the restaurant and holding you close until you reached the car. He didn't ask you again until right after pulling into his driveway and putting the car in park. He turned towards you, eyes clouded with concern: "Are you going to tell me what's up? Because I can tell something is off and it's confusing me." The slightly sad tone in his voice made your heart hurt, as if he was thinking he had done something wrong when in reality he had nothing done at all, your brain was just being stupid. "I'm -", you started to deny everything again when he cut you off, running his hands through his blonde locks in a frustrated manner. "Please don't say you're okay because you're clearly not." Your voice cracked when you spoke up again and you could feel the tears threatening to spill from the corners of your eyes: "I don't know what's up, Luke, and I'm really sorry for ruining the mood. But sometimes I just have those days, you know? I'm -" and again he cut you off, this time before you could apologize the second time in ten seconds, pulling you into him as good as he could with the console in-between you, kissing the top of your head gently while stroking your back. "It's okay babe. I might not quite get it now but it's alright. And - ", he held your head gently and looked into your eyes, smiling warmly - "I'm sure I can find a way to cheer you up a bit don't you think." You nodded and smiled, sniffling. Luke wiped away the few tears that had made their way down your cheeks, then nodded himself and got out the car to walk around and open the door for you. As soon as you left the vehicle, he slung his arm around your shoulders and squeezed you tight. "Let's have the coziest night in you can think of, yeah?" Your heart still was a little heavy, but it felt like the dark clouds were lifting slowly and in that moment you were so grateful to have Luke be with you.

In the following hours you snuggled up under a huge blanket on bis incredibly squishy couch, watching an entire season of one of your favourite TV shows that he had never seen, but seemed to enjoy after the first episode, demanding to know how the story went on. When the clock was at around 1/1.30am, he turned off the tv and put on a calming playlist, playing with your hair and just talking nonsense. You had still been quite quiet throughout the Netflix marathon, but suddenly felt like talking a bit more, like you should at least attempt to give Luke an explanation of what today had been - maybe it was the atmosphere that was just so calming and comforting to you, maybe it was his presence, the warmth his body radiated and the way you felt so secure in his arms, maybe it was the late hour or even a combination of all three that promoted you to start talking. Regardless, most of it was still not making much sense, but a least you felt better after getting it all off your chest and that Luke might get it a bit more now. There were still some uncertainties, but you were getting there. He had listened carefully, asking well placed questions, just being generally understanding and somewhere during the end of that talk - and you were sure it has been the relaxed state you were in and his voice that trailed on and on - both of you had fallen asleep on the couch, tangled up in each other and the blanket, completely content that while you had still problems to come to terms with your darker parts, Luke was definitely up for being there along the way and that made you incredibly happy and even excited for what the future of this relationship could be.

[alicedoessurveys]

60 Questions

1. What’s your current boy situation? I have lots of boys who are friends but no boyfriend 2. When’s the last time you did something you knew was wrong? probably do stuff daily that I know is wrong but usually by accident and only minor things like swearing nothing terrible  3. Do you hate the last guy/girl you had a thing with? No 4. Have you ever been out past curfew? I dont have curfew

5. Who was the last person you cried in front of? mom

6. What’s your relationship with the person you last texted? friends 7. Did anyone see you kiss the last person you kissed? nope 8. Did the one person who hurt you the most in your life apologize? kind of. but he did so much to hurt so many people that it was just a general apology to everyone and not a personal apology.  9. Latest you stayed up in the past week? And why? 1.30am last night. because I didn't get home till 12.30am and then by the time I had finished getting ready for bed I was wide awake 

10. Do you cry a lot? Have you recently? I have my moments where any little thing will make me cry and then I go through dry spells where im a hard hearted bitch  11. Do you think that you’re a good person? yes. I try.  12. What was on your mind most today? pain. I woke up with a headache and it stayed with me all day  13. Have you held hands with anyone today? nope 14. Have you ever thought about getting your lip pierced? no 15. INTERESTED in anyone at the moment? YES (why is the first part of this question in capitals?) 16. Have a best friend? yes 17. Have you had more than 3 boyfriends/girlfriends at the same time? no 18. Is a best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend or ex pissing you off at the moment? not really 19. Do you have any plans for the weekend? yes, very busy weekend ahead. im at church camp Friday till Sunday morning then I have to rush over to set up and attend my sisters baby shower then straight to theatre for rehearsal.  20. For the rest of the week? daytimes theres not a lot going on other than shopping and prepping stuff for sisters baby shower. evenings im out at rehearsals Tuesday and Thursday evening, watching a show Wednesday evening and camping Friday evening.  21. Are you in a good mood right now? im okay  22. What’s bothering you right now? headache  23. Are you on medication for anything? thyroid meds 24. Who was the last person you spoke to on the phone for over an hour? nick 25. Do you need to say anything to someone? yup but I won't  26. What was the worst mistake of your life? dropping out of college  27. When was the last time someone yelled at you? I dont remember the last time someone yelled at me in a mean way but me and my friends yell at each other all the time in a joke way 28. How many kids do you want to have? I want to adopt 2 kids  29. Have you kissed someone in the past month? nope 30. What made you sad today? nothing  31. When was the last time you were disappointed? yesterday  32. Is the last person you kissed also the next person you’ll kiss? I doubt it, hes getting married haha 33. Have you ever liked someone older than you? yes, right now :’) 34. Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yep, mom especially. with dad it depends what mood hes in  35. Do you believe exes can be friends? possibly. I dont think I could but i supose it depends how things ended  36. Do you think relationships are ever really worth it? I believe everything happens for a reason and people are bought into your life for a reason so yes 37. Will you talk to the person you like/love on the phone tonight? no 38. What woke you up this morning? my phone  39. Did your last kiss mean anything? no 40. What are you looking forward to in the next three months? a LOT! sister’s baby shower, performing in One Man Two Guvnors, sisters baby being born, becoming in AUNT! rehearsing for Alice in Wonderland, performing in Alice in Wonderland. CHRISTMAS! so much.  41. Has anyone ever told you they want to spend the rest of their life with you? no 42. If you were pregnant, would your parents make you keep the baby? I wouldn't ever be pregnant. but hypothetically, my parents would not force me to do anything.  43. Have you ever eaten raw pumpkin? no, I hate the smell of it  44. Do you have a favorite Leonardo DiCaprio movie? I love him in Romeo and Juliet 45. What was the reason you last received flowers? christmas present off my friend 46. Have you ever donated blood? no 47. What did you do for Valentine’s day? cooked dinner for my parents 48. Have you ever joined a gym? yes 49. Do you eat breakfast daily? yes. but not on Sundays because I dont usually have time  50. Are you Irish? no 51. Have you ever been to SeaWorld? nope 52. List the people that live in your home from tallest to shortest? dad, mom, me, baby

53. Who was the last person to cook dinner? mom 54. Is having sex on your mind? nope... im asexual  55. What color is your bra? pink 56. How many times have you actually been in love? never 57. What movie do you really want to see? the house with the clock in its walls 58. What time will you be getting up tomorrow morning? whenever my body wakes up, probably 8.30 59. Forget having a drunken night in Mexico-have you ever actually been there? no 60. Does your car have a name? Weasley. its a bright orange car :’)

[gotta-livethislife-blog]

Tig Trager - Just for one night

(Tig and reader just can’t keep away from each other. Contains SMUT. This is my first time trying to write smut, hope it’s not too bad!!)

It was 12.30am. Despite the fact you hadn’t finished work until 9pm you weren’t tired and you knew exactly why.

Since you and Tig had decided to stop seeing each other your mind just couldn’t rest, no matter how tired your body told it, it was. It had been a mutual decision, despite neither one of you truly wanting whatever it was you had together to stop.

Truth is, you didn’t really know what exactly you had with Tig. You’d been friends first, an unlikely pairing but you just clicked, you spent most of your time together laughing and flirting. After almost two years the constant flirting and sexual tension had lead to the inevitable. Despite telling yourself it wasn’t a good idea you’d been sleeping together for the best part of 3 months before things started to get complicated. Between club business and your work it was getting harder and harder to sneak around, Charming was only so small after all. After having one close call too many you both decided it was time to call it quits and just go back to being friends. It was just easier that way, no more over thinking what this thing would become, no more worrying about getting caught out. Your business was too close to Tellor Morrow not to mention you worked there part time, it would be stupid to risk a relationship of any sort getting in the way of those things. You liked things the way they were, the last thing you needed was people looking at you differently because you were sleeping with a club member.

Although your head told you, you’d made the right decision, your body and possibly your heart weren’t so sure. Something told you Tig felt the same way too.

Since you’d called it quits Tig would call almost every night, normally about 1am. You didn’t answer any more because you simply wouldn’t have the will power not to give in once you heard his voice. Although you didn’t answer you still waited for the phone call, and every night wondered if he would continue calling. For some strange, selfish reason you were happy he hadn’t quite moved on yet, even if he did only call after the drink had taken effect.

Tonight was different though, it had been two and a half weeks exactly since you’d had sex. You weren’t enjoying it. Tig was the best sex you ever had, it didn’t matter where you looked no one came close to Tig. After scrolling tinder for an hour and drinking almost a full bottle of red wine you gave up. 1.30am and he hadn’t called. You took a deep breath and dialled.

“Hey doll” that familiar, sexy voice answer. “Tig, I need to see you” you replied, if you didn’t get straight to the point you’d talk yourself right back out of it. “You okay?!” His voice sounded strained and concerned. “Yeah, no, I’m fine. I just wanna see you.” I responded. “Be there in 10 babe.” He replied and hung up.

About 10 minutes later you heard the familiar rumble of Tig’s bike turning into your road. You opened the front door just in time to see him swinging off his bike and removing his helmet. Even though you’d know him for years, you’d never get used to the butterflies that surface in your stomach at just the sight of him. You were only wearing your black lacey pyjama top and matching knickers, so you weren’t sure if your nipples were starting to harden from the breeze or the sight of Tig and his bike.

As he walked from his bike to you, his eyes wondered over your body making you shiver, suddenly you felt very aware of how little you were wearing. He stopped with just inches between you, not quite touching but close enough to feel his warm breath, he smelt slightly of whiskey and his own familiar scent that you craved so badly. “Hey doll” he breathed. You responded by pulling him down and attaching your lips to his. He responded instantly and pushed you back through the door without breaking the kiss you had both missed so much. Kicking the door shut he pushed you up against the wall, he could feel the desperation in your kiss as your tongue explored the mouth that had been so familiar to you. He let out a low moan, the feel of your body so close was causing his growing bulge to become uncomfortable in the confines of his black jeans. Sensing his need you tugged his shirt over his head before removing your own top to leave you in just your black lace panties. “I’ve missed you so much babe” Tig mumbled in between kissing down your neck leading a trail down to your breasts, as he squeezed you let out a sigh, throwing your head back to concentrate on the pleasure he was giving you. You couldn’t take this much more than he could. “Please Tig, I need you” you whispered. As soon as the words left your mouth something in him snapped, he grabbed you, causing you to wrap your legs around his waist as he carried you into your bedroom and threw you gently onto the bed. He made quick work of his belt, pants and boxers as you slid your panties off. He looked down at you with a hunger in his eyes, before crawling on top of you and continuing his trail of kisses down to your inner thighs, before finally getting to where you needed and craved him most. As soon as he began to suck on your clit your hips jerked up involuntary, causing him to hold you down and moan into you, sending waves of pleasure through you. There was nothing he loved more than the taste of you, he would never get enough of hearing you scream his name as you came. Nothing made him feel better.

When he was certain you were close he pulled away before laying on top of you as he lined himself up with your entrance “Please Tig” you begged, desperately. With that he plunged into you, going slowly at first. You gasped as he stretched you out just the right amount. As you arched your back and dug your nails into his shoulders encouraging him to go faster, he began to slam into you “so tight for me babe, you feel so good” he gasped between thrusts. How you’d lived without him for so long was beyond you, in that moment you swore you never would again. As he kissed and nipped on your neck he could feel you nearing your release, his hand slipped down between you and started rubbing fast circles on your swollen clit, causing you to cry out “just let go babe” he said while sucking on your collarbone. That was all you needed to send you over the edge. Moments after Tig came with a grunt as he collapsed on top of you. “That was amazing” he whisper into your neck. You both stayed like that for a minute, coming down from your high together. His weight on top of you made you feel safe, you’d missed him so much, more than you had even realised.

Afterwards you didn’t feel the need to speak, you just silently slid under the sheets together. You didn’t need to ask him to stay, he just wrapped his arms around you pulling you close. Before you he didn’t like to stay over but right now all he wanted to do was wake up with you next to him, knowing that for at least one night you were his again.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

okay i'm back!! (but it's like 1.30am so im going to bed) updates in the life of aish wuhu-island:

• THE HOLIDAY WAS AWESOME I LOVED IT

• yes i've seen the new trailers. tbh i'm uh... really kinda losing interest in ml? i mean i'll definitely still post about it and watch the new episodes but yeah idk i just felt absolutely nothing

• this may or may not have something to do with the fact that i accidentally got really super into a malaysian show called boboiboy so i will definitely be posting about that too (and wii sports of course)

• my emo heart is so happy that mcr is back!! there's just one problem, and it's the song "teenagers" which, while it's an absolute bop, really reminds me of a very specific time in my life that um... i don't want to go into it but that song is literally the only thing in my life that's a genuine trigger for me, so like. seeing that around a lot isn't going to do me much good (which sucks because it's such a good song)

• my laptop being broken is actually hitting me really hard. it's much harder now to get my work done (especially with my freaking long commute) and people have been really nice about it but it's a lot of pressure on me now and i'm just sad, as dumb as it sounds it's like losing a friend

• speaking of sad, was... was misadventures actually any good? i'm having an existential crisis and i keep wanting to delete it in fits of self-doubt and only like 5 people even managed to get to the end anyway which i think gives me my answer. i'm honestly having a crisis, i poured my blood and soul into that fic and now i'm like oh god it'S AWFUL, GET RID OF IT

• i'm still kinda salty my most popular fic by far is the damn "thirstinette" one

• various people in my life are not taking me seriously. at all. about anything. just about had a nervous breakdown earlier, i'm tired and cold and i want to scream

• (but i'll be fine i promise, don't worry about me!!)

• seriously please watch boboiboy, if you feel like you were betrayed by the writing of stuff like ml or vld well this is SO MUCH BETTER

just arrived in greece! i'm here on holiday for the next week so i won't be on tumblr much probably, if anything dramatic happens then yeet me an ask or a dm or bug me on discord

[treesinbubbles]

today is technically january 9th because it's 1.30am but i'm still gonna count it as 8 january 2021 (lockdown 3.0, day 4) because i can and want to.

i had a walk in the cold with a friend today, a raclette evening with my flatmate (hence the lateness of all this), as well as a call with my belgian grandma and one with my family and godmother in switzerland. clearly, a lockdown day in  the top percentile of social contact.

the beauty (or burden depending on the day) of knowing so many people in different countries is that i get to reexplain several times the current situation in london (which is terrible, the mayor declared a ‘major incident’ here - too mild a phrase i think for the overwhelm experienced by hospital services in the city) and also learn of how other places are better off. it’s both despair and hope to hear that thing are different elsewhere.

because i had so much human interaction today, i feel okay. but i can tell it’s a bit of a surface thing, and not at all stable. i’m finding it hard to get out of bed in the morning because i just don’t know why. why get out of bed now at 10.30am when i don’t have to be anywhere until 3pm? i eventually always get too hungry and that becomes the why, but then i get to the end of my breakfast and there is the same why again. i know living my life is reason enough - or can be - but these days i’ve lost track of that. but there’s one saving grace: when my other whys fail me, friends and family are the why that is always left.

__

this is part of a daily practice I’m encouraging myself to do for the duration of the third UK lockdown. i’m taking some time to note where I am each day, letting myself sit with what comes up without judgement or pressure. here is yesterday’s post.

[chronicallymissyxo-blog]

How do I manage?

Probably one of the most frequent questions I get asked by a lot of people also suffering from mental health & chronic illnesses is this.

“How do you manage?”

It’s a good question, and some days I even question it myself. I suffer from many problems which can flare up some days worse than others. Fibromyalgia and Chronic Fatigue Syndrome are the main ones. There’s days when I’m completely exhausted with no energy to do anything, yet I try and sleep and I can’t. I’m in too much pain, I dare not move out of bed because when I do? The pain is nothing short of excruciating. But people ask how I manage. I’m on 5 lots of medication. My morning routine consists of waking up, making coffee whilst my fiance makes a cigarette for us both. I take my medications, I do a bit of cleaning then I sit down. Normally by this point, the pain is building up, especially in my lower back. I take my medications in the morning and in the evening, and it’s easier for me that way. If I take my evening medications at around 10.30pm, by about 1.30am I’m beginning to get a little drowsy, and I’m ready to nod off to sleep. I literally have to put myself in a coma of painkillers and medication to sleep. It’s not cool, kids. Not cool.

I suppose the answer to the above question, is I don’t. I just wing it - instead of trying to do everything in one go, pace yourself and take baby steps. Learning to live with chronic illnesses is difficult, but the sooner you learn to accept that this is your way of life, the better chance you have at learning to tackle your pain head on, and knowing how to take better care of yourself when you have flare ups. Walking aids, not standing for long periods of time, it’s okay to ask to sit down when you’re in too much pain. It’s OKAY not to be okay. The conversation I last had with the consultant at the pain management team was that mental health and chronic illnesses have a knock-on effect on one another. If one day your mental health is bad, and you’re stressed or you’re experiencing heightened anxiety, be prepared for a flare-up. When you have this flare up, you’re going to feel worse than you already do. You’re going to feel depressed, then you’re stuck in the vicious circle. So instead of thinking to yourself, “when will this end?” Think to yourself, “Okay, so I’m having a flare up, and I know it will end and I will be in less pain soon.” Turn that negative into a positive. It’s okay to cancel on your friends. If they don’t understand, then they’re not worthy of having you as a friend. If they do, they will understand. 

My best friend came round my house after raiding the shop for snacks for the both of us so we could have a chill sesh. I wasn’t expecting her, she let herself in and said “if my bestie can’t come out for a bit, I’ll come and see my bestie.” So I curled up on my duvet on the living room floor (it’s the comfiest place to lean with my back against the wall) in my pyjamas eating copious amounts of crisps, chocolate and biscuits, drinking ridiculous amounts of energy drinks and binging on nothing but crap, because hell, if you’re having a bad flare up day, you’re gonna wanna do nothing but watch Netflix and eat pure fatty foods. She even ordered me a takeaway. Now THAT’S the kind of best friend you need in your life. The only way you’re going to get through when your mental health isn’t doing too good and you’re suffering with pain, is to focus yourself on the positives of life, it’s about meditating, calming yourself and getting yourself in that positive mindset to be able to know, “I’m not a quitter, I’m a fighter.”

But you’re not just a fighter, you’re a warrior, and you’re also a survivor. You are good enough, you are pretty enough, your hair does look good, it’s okay to doss in your pyjamas, moan about pain and eat copious amounts of chocolate, it’s okay not to shower for a week because you’re hurting, it’s okay to look back on those bad days and laugh about the silly things you did, like putting the sugar in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard, and attempting to eat your cereal with a fork. It’s okay to forget where you put your keys and then you find them in your freezer. So even if you haven’t left the house in two weeks, or you haven’t showered in 4 days, even if your hair is so greasy you can fry chips on it, look back on the cherishing moments, even if it was something minuet that made you smile. Even if you forgot to put your knickers on, or you leave the house in your pyjamas because you just don’t have it in you to haul yourself upstairs to get changed... go out there and shine, and just be yourself. Just be you! Love yourself and don’t change, or try to hide your illnesses just because other people want to paint you in a different light. Look in the mirror every day and tell yourself shit, so what if I ain’t washed or sprayed deodorant, I ain’t changed in three days and I haven’t cooked in two days.. BUT I’M STILL ONE MAGNIFICENT WHATTHEFUCK, AND I’M GONNA DO WHAT I WANNA DO!

Now go out there and shine, fellow spoonies.

This is Meggles, signing out for the night to go and get some well deserved rest, toodle-oo everyone <3