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pointlessdedication · 7 years ago

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An untitled story

hi, this is something i wrote a long time ago, for further explanation you can see my previous post. this is only a small part of the whole fanfiction, but it's still 2,231 words, which might sound like too much. it's about dan and phil. hope you enjoy.

-----.-----

Phil

It has been almost a year since Dan was diagnosed with lung cancer. Today we are headed for the hospital to get the results of the tests that will determine if he is cancer free. Google says that there is a 92% of chance he is going to be fine, and for once, I'm wishing Google is right.

He has fallen asleep and his head is resting on my left shoulder, I can see his chest moving up and down. I look out the window to realize that we are a couple of blocks away so I start to wake him up. Summer in London can be disgustingly warm and today it’s particularly moist. Dan’s hair has gone really curly because of the sweat forming on his forehead. I reach for his shoulder and shake it lightly.

"Dan," I say. "Dan, wake up. We are almost there."

He sighs and slowly removes his head from my shoulder. He rubs his eyes and looks at the window. I mimic him.

When we get there I pay the driver and open the door for both Dan and I to get out, but being the stubborn man he is, he opens the door on his side. I don't want him to feel like I have started to treat him differently or that I pity him, but no matter how much time has passed since this started, I could never get used to seeing my best friend dying. I try to act normal anyway and I walk to the entrance of the hospital feeling a pinch of guilt in my stomach for letting him walk on his own but I know, I think, that's what he prefers. A year ago, when Dan was diagnosed, he was alone at the doctor's and he had entered into shock, later that day, when he arrived home and I asked what was wrong, he exploded. He looked at me for a couple of seconds before tears started streaming down his face, he grabbed the first thing his hand could reach and threw it against the wall, then continued to melt onto the floor and started mumbling every curse word he knew. I kneeled next to him and placed my hand on his shoulder, he turned his face to look at me; stood up, sat on the couch and told me everything the doctor had told him. The next day, when we went for his first session, the doctor explained that the cancer had spread from his right lung to the lymph nodes in the center of his chest, which meant that he was on stage two. He said that almost no one gets the proper attention in order to find the cancer whilst the tumor is still on the lung– I still don't know how that was supposed to make us feel better; I know it didn't. Stage two basically means that you are screwed, that you can't simply remove the tumor because it has already spread and made itself a very cozy home. A year ago when the doctor had told us he needed chemotherapy and probably radiotherapy it meant nothing to me, but today, I am quite the expert on cancer.

As we walk down the hall I can hear Dan's unsteady breathing behind me, I clench my fists, close my eyes and take a deep breath. I try my best to swallow the knot forming down my throat; I look back and smile at him. He raises his eyebrows and replies with a small side smile. It's maybe impolite to think it but he looks awful. There’s no life in his eyes and the dark circles under them definitely don't help. His lips are red and swollen because he just won't stop biting them, his face looks drained from life and he has lost a lot of weight.

We reach the doctor's office and I start biting my nails– that’s a new habit, and a terrible one considering I always make my fingers bleed before I realize I have gone too far. We sit on the chairs the doctor offers us as he sits on one himself. His hands are trembling, and he looks rather stressed. Is there a new patient? Has somebody died? A surgery gone wrong? I stop the negative thoughts and try to focus on my own trembling hands.

"Gentleman, hello, it is very nice to see you again," the doctor says as he plays with his pen. "I, we, spent the entire night looking at your results, talking about your case and how the treatment has affected the tumors forming in your chest, and I have both good and bad news. The tumors that were located on the lymph nodes have completely disappeared, unfortunately, the one that is all over your lung, is still there, and even though its growth has been slowed down, there is a big chance that the chemotherapy will not get rid of it. ��I didn't want to say it like this but unfortunately, I cannot rename medical terms, you have failed the chemotherapy. And this, in no way, means that it is your fault, however, it is imperative that we find another solution to your problem before the tumor finds a new place to spread."

We are both quiet. I search the entirety of my brain for something appropriate to say but it is as if everything has been wiped. I command myself to speak but I cannot seem to find my mouth, I cannot feel my face and I cannot find the strength to move my lips or my tongue, I feel my eyes fall to the doctor's face and that's where they stay. I am unaware of the rest of my body. I can't feel anything. I can't hear, I can't speak.

"There are other solutions," the doctor continues, he sounds like he’s really far away, "now that the cancer that had spread outside the lung area has been eliminated the possibility of surgery is viable again, and actually, the only option."

"So, that means that now there is a possibility of removing the bit of the lung that has been affected," says Dan. He is sitting next to me but the ringing in my ears makes it difficult to hear him clearly.

"Well, not exactly, you see, even though the chemotherapy slowed down the development of the tumor, it did not stop it. Your lung is completely covered by the cancer," the doctor replies as he lays his eyes on me. I should say something.

"Which means that you would have to–" Dan is unable to finish the sentence because the doctor interrupts him.

"Remove your lung entirely. Yes."

I wasn't expecting this. I had been too positive, too careless; it is my fault that my best friend is losing his lung. I could've done more. I could’ve done something better.

"As I said before, this is nobody's fault, the treatment simply didn't work, but we have options Daniel, and I'm sure you are going to be okay," the doctor continues but he isn't looking at Dan he is looking at me and someone who talks just like me starts shouting.

"And how could you know?! You told us that the chemotherapy would most certainly work, but it didn't, did it? So what happens if you leave Dan with one lung and then it doesn't work? How can we trust such an incompetent doctor like y-" I feel a hand on my shoulder, the screaming voice was me, I had stood up, and was leaning towards the doctor, Dan is now holding me back with both hands. I sigh and leave the room quickly. Well done Phil, this is the moment you decide to explode, screaming at the guy you have trusted Dan's life to. Amazing. You are so stupid. Dan's long fingers wrap around my arm, I turn around to see him half smiling.

"It's going to be okay Phil, don't let out the rage monster no one is supposed to know about in front of the guy who gives me the drugs," he laughs.

"I am so sorry Dan, you shouldn’t be the one comforting me. I just, I can't lose you." I say as I get the credit card out of my pocket and walk towards the reecptionist. It feels like that sentence has lost all meaning after saying it so many times.

"Eh, here's the money for the exams and, you know, everything."

"The doctor would like to see Daniel this Friday, at what time should I make the appointment?" The receptionist asks in a very lovely Scottish accent.

"Uhh, Dan?” I ask as I turn to see him typing on his phone.

"Yeah, anything after 12 is okay,” he replies, not looking away from the screen.

"Okay dear, I have a free space at 12:30, is that alright?" She asks looking up at me with big green eyes.

I nod and see her type Dan’s name onto the computer.

"Thank you, I'll see you Friday then,” I say as I make my way towards the door.

–––––

We arrive to our apartment and I hold my breath when I hear Dan’s irregular breathing as he climbs up the stairs. Walking up the stairs is tiring enough; now imagine walking up the stairs when you have lung cancer. He goes straight to his room; there really is not much to do when you have cancer. I go to the kitchen and decide we deserve to eat some microwaved popcorn. I walk into his room with a bowl in one hand and a new anime we ordered a couple weeks ago in the other.

"Hey you. I brought some popcorn and, guess what arrived today? Do you fancy watching some anime?" I ask him as I sit on his bed.

"Wild Tuesday night plans, I see,” he says mockingly.

“Yeah, well, we are not usually very wild, now are we?” I say as I rest my back against his headboard. Dan arches his eyebrows and smirks.

“Don’t ever say that out loud again,” he answers as he closes his MacBook and gets up from his bed. "Come on, let’s watch it on the big TV."

We make our way to the living room and we sit on the same spots we've been sitting on for the past five years.

As we watch the TV I find my mind wandering, the specific cancer that was slowly killing Dan is called Non-Small Cell Lung Cancer Adenocarcinoma and it had been, for the most part, our only topic of conversation this past year. I remember the first couple of months perfectly, though I wish my brain had blocked them. We fought so much during the first days; it is hard to remember it now. When I first found out I was really supportive, told Dan I'd be there every single step of the way and that it was all going to work out alright but I wasn't really aware of what I was promising; I was in a state of denial that prevented me from understanding that my best friend was dying. With every visit to the doctor my positive attitude decayed and so did Dan's. I realize only when the subtitles become a blur that there are tears streaming down my face. I fake a yawn and dry what I can with the tips of my fingers as discretely as my clumsy hands allow me. I see Dan looking through the side of his eyes towards my direction so I excuse myself and head towards the bathroom. I inhale and exhale– once, twice, I do it until the knot down my throat is gone. This is something that has happened before, I sigh and wash my face trying to get rid of the red patches on my cheeks but my eyes are swollen enough for him to notice so I sit on the floor and wait for my face to return to its normal state. I can hear my steady breathing now that I’m calm and it troubles me knowing that Dan’s breathing will never be steady anymore. I dismiss the thought before I start crying again. I wonder what would be different if Dan wasn’t sick. We were incredibly happy, the years before he got ill had been the best for both of us, we went to Japan, we published two books, we hosted awards and events, we went on tour, we created a gaming channel, we had never been happier and then one day it was all over. As the days passed, Dan slowly became too ill to film and I was often too busy taking care of him, there wasn’t much I could talk about in videos anyway. The first couple of months our subscribers were incredibly supportive, they made trending topics, commented in all our recent videos, tweeted us, all of them telling us how this would be over soon and that they’d be with us till the end, but 11 months later I had lost around 250,000 subscribers and Dan had lost around 100,000. I don’t blame them though, not all of them care about us enough to stay with Dan and I through this rough patch. I stand up and open the door only to find Dan sitting in front of the door across the hallway.

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spookyenemyperson-blog · 6 years ago

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"Pine Forge Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19548

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I am a 19 year old male university student in Ontario Canada. I live at home in the summer and only one hour from home during the school year for my studies. I would like to purchase my own car for everyday driving. However, I know that I would not be able to afford the ridiculous insurance there is for a male driver that is under 25 and listed as the primary driver. I have heard of ways to get around this, such as getting listed as a secondary driver and having my dad as the primary driver and just me as a temporary driver. Doing this is kind of lying, as I would be having the car all the time in the school year and then bring it home with me when I work at home. I don't think it would matter though, I doubt it is risky that if I did need a claim they would investigate how much I had the car... But what my dad seems to think is that he can only have a certain amount of cars listed as him as primary. My mom and dad live together and together own a 1994 Intrepid, 2003 Cadillac CTS and a 1988 Corvette (that is insured for only 5 months a year, stored in the winter). I am only insured as a temporary driver on the Intrepid as it is too expensive for anything else. I also have a 21 year old sister who is in the same situation (lives at home for 4 months a year) but she has just bought her own car and is her own primary driver. So I don't think that should affect me at all, it is cheap enough for a female to get primary insurance at this age. So now I want to buy a sports car. I am 100% sure I want to buy a car that is not common, its just something I am stubborn about and so I know that insurance will be more this way. Specifically I was looking at an Audi tt, BMW 300 series, Mitsubishi Eclipse or a Mustang... I also found a great deal on a '99 Porsche Boxster that a seller has that is way underpriced and I'd love to buy it (first choice). My question is, can I claim that my dad is really the owner of the Porsche (or other car) and say that I am a temporary driver, and then have me drive it all the time and take it back and forth to school, etc, knowing my parents together already have 2 vehicles and 1 summer vehicle. I would take myself off of the temporary insurance on the Intrepid. My dad seems to think that an insurance company will not allow them to be primary drivers on 3 vehicles and 1 summer vehicle while having dependant children... But what if I did the insurance quotes online and got approved? I already did get quotes before, and I don't think I ran into any problems. But I want to be covered and in case I did need to make a claim, this method won't come back to bite me in the butt. What is anyone's take on this? Like I said, I cannot afford to pay the insurance on the car as a primary driver at this point, but paying for the car itself won't be a problem. I do realise that I will be paying for this way than I do at the moment because of the car, but instead of $3000 more I was thinking $400 more or something. Thanks for reading all the facts, any answers will be greatly greatly appreciated! Thanks everyone!""

Where do you get your insurance or financial information from?

(e.g. friends, family, websites..) Be specific. What are some ways to make it more convenient for people to get their information? Thanks!""

Auto insurance what gender is cheaper to insure?

Hello everyone well i have a question regarding auto insurance me and my wife are considered new drivers now its been awhile since we had a policy i realise women typically get better rates however will she get a much better rate or just slightly better i am 42 and she is 28 and we both have good driving records

Insurance for a van ... not too sure..?

Hi I just bought a 1979 Dodge Camper van which is in great condition with low miles on it. I want to get it plated which is fine but also I want to insure it but I am not sure what to expect, is it going to cost me less or more because of it being older? I am 26 years old and Ive had my license since 17. Ive been insured under my parents insurance as a 2nd driver since 17 also. Even if I didn't drive it all the time they just kept me on it. Well I'm not sure what else I can say to help out with an estimate of the insurance. Maybe some of you have better knowledge, I live in Canada, Quebec. Thank you. Btw this is my first owned vehicle which is kinda weird hehe but yeah I'm learning.""

Any cheap car insurances for first time drivers?

I am 20 and I have been driving for 2 years and recently got my own car. But I heard car insurance is expensive and I wanted to know if there's any car insurance that is cheap. I live in Southern Cali. Do you recommend anything? Please help. And thank you.

Car Insurance! I dont get it!?

I dont understand how it works, i have looked online for some quotes for a Proton Persona 1996, insurance group 12 and i get these results. Annual Premium 1800 total excess 250 ...show more""

""If I fill in a online Auto Insurance quote ,give them information like my SS# am I at risk for Idenity Theft?""

If I fill in a online Auto Insurance quote ,give them information like my Social Security number and the rest of my personal information that I am I asked for online am I putting myself at risk for Identity Theft?""

How much will my car insurance go down when i turn 21?

Help! Car insurance suspension and keep no claims!?

Hey, need some urgent advise please! I'm intending on selling my car and am currently 6 months into my car insurance - the menace in this is I intend to purchase another car though my insurance aren't able to insure it though others are! Is there any possible way I can maintain my current insurance to btain the NCB and just become insured by a alternate insurer for my new purchased car? My method was suspending my current insurance and then cancelling at renewal (therefor obtaining no claims?) Need a real helping hand please!""

Where can I get the best Insurance quotes for Home & Vehicle?

I am looking to get insurance on my house and vehicle. I am not satisfied with the present company and would like to research about the same. Can any one tell me where in I can get multiple quotes from different companies. Any help will be highly appreciated. Thanks

What is the cheapest/best car insurance and car for a newly licensed driver in MA?

What would be the best and cheapest type of car and car insurance to get for someone who just received their license?

How much will my car insurance raise? I got into an accident I have state farm?

How much will my car insurance raise? I got into an accident I have state farm. It was only a small fender bender, I had ran into a girl, i only hit her bumper, there is only a scratch. My car has a broken cornering light and dent in the fender. I have a Ford Ranger and she also has a Ford Ranger. I got a ticket for following to close. What can i do? for the insuance and ticket?""

Insurance question?

i need insurance and basically what i need to know dose any insurance cover dermatology?

Which medical insurance company is the cheapest?

I'm 21 college student and I need to get a medical insurance. I live in California. Which company is the cheapest? I was thinking of kaiser but I'm not sure Thanks in advance guys

Which is best health insurance?

I was wondering whats the best insurance for me im 18 live with my parents dropped out dont go to college plan to get my ged soon. But i have to get some blood work done for my doc out of state and the place i called said its 832$ i can pay for it but im thinking i should jus get insurance since im going to go on TRT soon prehaps.. so what Health insurance can cover my blood work and hopefully everything in future also im not a citizen but i am a green card holder does it make a difference? thanks i didnt reread this so sorry for any errors

What is the average rate of car insurance for 16 year old driver?

I am going to be 16 and i am just wondering how much will the insurance charge is i get added on right when i get my license?

""How much does car insurance cost for 21yr old, is it monthly or yearly?""

I am new to US. I stay in Los Angeles, CA. I have never driven before. And I am talking about a pre-owned car probably a 90s or 2000 model of toyota. Would appreciate if you'd answer with an estimate.""

How to renew two wheeler insurance ? Can I purchase some other insurance ?

Hi All, I have two wheeler (TVS wego), and when I purchased it I had United India Insurance which is expired, I want to renew it. How do I renew it or can I buy some other insurance as other can be purchased online ? Is it acceptable by RTO ?""

What are 2 Door car insurance choices?

I live in New York City , and im trying to do all my research before i jump the gun and even buy my insurance and car ( Tho i do know what i want ). But these are what i want to know .""

Pine Forge Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19548

No proof of insurance question?

So i made a mistake. I was stopped last night and cited by a law enforcement officer for no proof of insurance. I had an idea that my insurance was no longer valid due to it overdrafting from my account when i had no money. so i contacted the insurance company and now they will NOT re-instate the insurance policy due to the fact that i have had two bad overdrafts with them. I completly understand, and like i told the officer, this is my fault...i was poor..... anyways. Now i hear that the fine is 400.00 to start, i am willing to pay as i did not take the time to ensure insurance was active on the vehicle and that the overdraft was taken care of. However now i am hearing im going to loose my license...... So i was told by the driver license department that if i go out now and get an SR22 qualifying insurance plan with a different company, that when i walk into the justice court payment window, they will not take away my license from me? however justice court states that my license will get taken away and i have to bring the proof of insurance to the DMV............and get my license back. Please note i have a california license in the state of utah..... please help? what can i do to fix this? i will pay the fine, as i did the crime wether i was for-sure or not....but i need my license, i just moved and am living in a place wityh no friends, and a new job... PS sorry for mispelling and typing this is on blackberry.""

What would be the best way for me to minimise my car insurance?

Ok, before I start, I DO know that its not going to be cheap but I want to figure out the best way to get insurance. (This is in the UK by the way) Well, I turned 17 a few days, got my provisional today, and am thinking, uh oh - look at these insurance quotes. Is it a good idea to get my name added onto my parent's insurance policy? They're with Tesco car insurance. Apparently this lowers costs but is it worth it, and is there anything better? Also, do your public exam marks make any difference? I got good grades in the summer, A* in every subject, so does this help? The car is a NISSAN PRIMERA S TD 2001 1974cc Five Door Hatchback Manual Diesel. So it's not really a new car, and its silver in colour. The mileage per annum definitely won't exceed 5000 miles. Any help is appreciated, thanks.""

How much does it cost to go for an eye exam in new jersey without insurance?

I want to get my eyes checked and have no insurance.I was wondering how much it would cost? Is lenscrafters good or more expensive? pearl vision?

Will tint ticket show up on insurance? not talking about increasing rate?

This question is not asking about if my rates will go up! i know its a non moving violation. I was driving my dads 911 turbo and i got stopped for illegal tints. I barely drive car this btw. my dad does not want his insurance company to know his son drives his car for obvious reasons. my question is will a ticket like this show i was driving this car? do insurance company's even look at non point tickets ? thanks!

How do i find out auto insurance rates with a company wihtout joining them?

I'm currently on my parents insurance and want to move onto my own

Can anyone tell me where to get cheap auto insurance with a suspended license?

Is there a dental insurance available for the self-employed?

I am a at home caregiver and I need a dental insurance that is affordable and covers most procedures...please help

Do I need to buy car insurance if I am a tourist borrowing my friend's car which is insured?

I'm a tourist in the U.S, and I want to use my friend's car occasionally, her car is insured but my name is not on her insurance policy, do I need to be on it to be covered?, Also, in case an officer asks me to pull over, do I need to be on the car insurance or just show him the car is insured?""

Car insurance help!? please...?

Somebody hit my car and possibly totaled it. If it is totaled would their insurance just pay off my car, just give me a check for what its worth or both??""

Where can I get a cheap insurance for a new bussines?

Im about starting cleaning houses but i need an insurance

Paying too much for car insurance?

I drive a '97 Ford Escort, nearly 45,000 miles. I'm 21. I have had one ticket (when I was 16 and I got a diversion on that ticket, so I didn't have to pay nor report it to my insurance). I pay $956 every 6 months for full-coverage. I'm with Farm Bureau. Anyone think this is reasonable or should I check out other quotes?""

Cost of getting motorcycle insurance for 20 year old?

I am probably goin to get a sports bike. I have had my license since I was 18. I have no tickets and clean driving record. I currently pay $140 a month for insurance on my truck. I was looking into getting a bike older than 2003. How much will motorcycle insurance be for a sports bike?

Is the insurance company notified when you get a speeding ticket?

I got a speeding ticket for going 55 in a 45 and was just going to pay it so my parents wouldn't find out because I'm on there insurance. I no we are with USAA and i don't want them to find out about the ticket. Will they some how find out?

What are cheaper for auto insurance: Acura integras gs or ls?

im 18 years old too

""Are most companies going to switch to Obamacare, for their insurance coverage plans.?""

Are most companies going to switch to Obamacare, for their insurance coverage plans.?""

What are the best insurance companies out there if you have had a DUI and a speeding ticket in the last 8 year?

Looking in California for an insurance company with reasonable rates I just got my renewal and they want me to pay 175 per month I have been only paying 100 dollars a month So if anyone of you know of a great company please post a reply and thank you

""Good,affordable car insurance for 19 year old !?

Ca..

What are the insurance requirements for a first time 16 yr old driver with no car in n.c.?

heard you needed insurance just to get a license.

How would McCain guarantee affordable healthcare for all?

Healthcare costs are hurting the budgets of working families, businesses, states and the federal government. Don't tell me someone is looking for a handout when it comes to something as basic as healthcare. A simple accident can wipe out hard-won savings in any family. Now how's McCain gonna do it? Please?""

Cobalt ss/sc insurance price?

i want to buy a cobalt ss supercharged and need to know if my insurance will be too high since i am only 17, i've gotten some insurance quotes but they are all different by a lot. I have a clean driving record with no accidents and my parents are willing to help out with some insurance but i want to know if i will have enough for the rest, thanks""

How much would car insurance cost for me?

Im seventeen. And female. The car is a black 94 Jetta standard (if that has anything to do with it) Im just confused about insurance. People are saying it would be very expensive but I turn 18 in a month should I wait until then? Also people say insurance is cheaper for girls. Is this true? And what insurance company is cheapest?

Car insurance question ?

I am 17 years old and I recently got my driver's license. Our family's cars are covered under AAA's insurance policies. I want to know if I have automatically been put under our cars' insurance policies, and if I can drive my mom's car under her name (without her in the car) thanks""

Can you get a cheap Motorcycle for less than $500 that can get you from Point A to point B?

My Sister REALLY needs transport to work for this summer, or she may be out of a job. Public trabnsport is not too reasonable. I was thining do to vehicle cost and insurance cost, her best bet is a bike. Doesn't matter what it looks like. As long as its SAFE and CHEAP. And can Get her from A to B I'm thinkin about $500. She is located on the north shore of massachusetts. Like the Lynn, Salem area. If anyone knows of any shops or websites that may be able to make this possible, it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks guys! Nox""

On average how much is car insurance at 17?

on average for a ford ka 2000 a student girl driver (please dont recommend for me to go on go compare etc as i havent got the time thanks full points for best answer

Do i have to have a motorcycle license to get motocycle insurance?

Pine Forge Pennsylvania Cheap car insurance quotes zip 19548

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