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So I actually have a story about how the cover art for this last issue of FUCKIT came to be.
For those who follow me and don’t blog the FUCKIT: the zine tag (thank you for that, by the way), you’ll probably remember that when I was recruiting for submissions, the image I was using was this guy:
Super fun, right? Definitely suits the theme of “countering a culture.” Hideously relevant, what with all the drag bans and everything. I’d put a lot of time into it (the tackiest art is always the hardest), and I’d enjoyed the time I put into it and I was very attached to it and that was the direction for the issue, I was sure.
I also made that decision back in, like, October. By February, shit had changed.
Some of that’s just February, to be fair. Winter is rough, and the end is the roughest part. Melancholy is a natural element of the season. Some of it was Terry Hall dying back in December, which got me back into a lot of music I hadn’t really listened to for a long time, which got me thinking about different things (as music always does). All the bits and pieces of ideas I’d been rolling over to find subject matter for the zine didn’t really compel me anymore. None of the ideas that did appeal to me really matched up with smirking John Waters on the Cross. But letting go of the concept seemed short-sighted, and potentially self-indulgent. What if people had been writing to the theme I’d presented, with the imagery I’d given them, and then I changed it last second?
Then I read @ximen‘s piece for the zine.
I know no one’s had a chance to read it yet apart from me (although that’s obviously going to change for several of you in the next couple of weeks, depending on shipping times, and also you can get the zine here), but to give some kind of context: One of the running themes of the piece is Eric Clapton’s not-nearly-as-infamous-as-it-ought-to-be, deeply racist rant at a concert in 1976. If you’re not interested in reading it -- well, don’t blame you. It’s unforgivably bad, and his attempts to walk it back have been not terribly great, actually. However. Something genuinely good came out of Clapton’s bullshit, and that was Rock Against Racism, a group of musicians and activists who put on show after show after show in the UK and the USA to fight back against the rising tide of racism, facism, and nationalism. Over the course of five years, RAR worked to unite ordinary people to fight against groups like the National Front, and inspired people to get involved by founding their own RAR groups, hosting their own RAR concerts and festivals...
And starting bands, of course, like a little group from Coventry that started off as the Coventry Automatics, and eventually became the Specials.
(pictured: Terry Hall and Neville Staple of the Specials at a RAR concert in Leeds)
I’ve always been a big fan of provocation. I love it. I think people need to be rattled up a bit sometimes. But I’ve also always been a big fan of earnest, sincere, dirty-handed work, in the power of ordinary people in sufficient numbers to make a real difference, and that’s what RAR represents to me. That’s what the Specials represent to me, and that’s what Terry Hall represented to me.
They didn’t free the world from racism, and that’s okay. “You are not obligated to complete the work, but neither are you free to abandon it,” and all. But they saw the way the culture was moving, and they worked to counter it. And, you know, Enoch Powell never got anywhere despite having Clapton on his side, so you can’t say they did nothing, either.
So I changed the cover of the zine, to give tribute to them, and to give Clapton the finger one more time.
The theme for next month’s zine is currently the Specials-inspired, “We Sell Hope.” What that’s going to look like, coming out in a Pride month that sees the LGBTQ+ community under attack in hundreds of ways, I can’t possibly imagine. I might bring John on the Cross back. I might do something else. Hopefully, I’ll be working on some voter registration stuff at that point, although we’ll see how it goes. However it goes, hopefully we’ll see you there.
Remember: Make art, help people.
#FUCKIT: the zine#long post#thought some of you might like a look into how the sausage is made#anyway fuck enoch powell fuck eric clapton and fuck fascists in general#looked all around the world we gotta take care of each other
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hi hi. i’m not sure if you would write for narcissa but if Yes. could you do a smut alphabet or a little smut fic. anything really. i just. dom milf narcissa lives rent free in my mind 💔
Anon, she lives rent-free in my mind too <3 also I’ve never written for Narcissa before, so hopefully this is okay :)
Narcissa Malfoy Smut Alphabet
warnings: smuttt
gif creds to owner
A = Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)
She’ll coo and smirk and tell you how good you were for her, such a good little pet. She’ll kiss over any marks she left and get you water- and you’d better bloody drink it.
B = Body part (Their favourite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
She likes her breasts- you always know exactly what to do, and she adores looking down and stroking your hair as you suck on her nipples with your eyes all wide and innocent.
On you, your waist is her favourite. Even outside of the bedroom, she’ll constantly be touching your waist or the small of your back. Inside the bedroom, she loves bending you over and gripping onto it from behind, and you often have little crescent-shaped marks left on your skin from her digging her nails into you.
C = Cum (Anything to do with cum basically… I’m a disgusting person)
She absolutely loves the sight of you with her release glistening on your chin, and she loves kissing you and tasting herself on your lips.
D = Dirty Secret (Pretty self-explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
Narcissa loves teasing you with toys, making you sit through dinner with a vibrator buzzing away inside you, smirking at you as your thighs quiver and you press your lips together, trying to keep your orgasm at bay.
E = Experience (How experienced are they? Do they know what they’re doing?)
Narcissa knows what she’s doing. She knows what she likes, and she is very quick at picking up on what makes your knees weak.
F = Favourite Position (This goes without saying. Will probably include a visual)
She LOVES taking you from behind- she is a force to be reckoned with when she’s wearing her strap
G = Goofy (Are they more serious in the moment, or are they humorous, etc)
Narcissa tends to be very serious in the moment, very into it, although she is open to having a bit of a laugh with you.
H = Hair (How well-groomed are they, does the carpet match the drapes, etc.)
I reckon Narcissa isn’t completely bare? Idk I just get that sense. Neatly trimmed but slightly sparse idk
I = Intimacy (How are they during the moment, romantic aspect…)
Narcissa can get very intimate when you make love, kissing you all over, whispering words of love to you all the time...
J = Jack Off (Masturbation headcanon)
She doesn’t do it very often, priding herself on her control. She loves catching you trying to get yourself off, mocking you gently and making you all flustered
K = Kink (One or more of their kinks)
bondage, overstimulation, dom/sub, toys, caregiving, roleplay, spanking, biting...
L = Location (Favourite places to do the do)
Her bedroom. Yes, its a little bit plain, but it ensures privacy- plus you often need a good lie down afterwards ;)
M = Motivation (What turns them on, gets them going)
watching you be defiant. It really gets her going, and she loves grabbing your cheeks in one hand and squishing them together, making you stare at her, hissing ‘who do you think you’re talking to?’
N = NO (Something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Narcissa doesn’t like to get overly messy. Yeah, she’s up for a bit of food play, but anything beyond that is a no-no for her
O = Oral (Preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc)
See ‘C’
She loves giving as well, often overstimulating you until you’re trying to shut your legs or push her away
P = Pace (Are they fast and rough? Slow and sensual? etc.)
It all depends on the mood really. Sometimes it can be very slow and sensual, other times (especially when you need putting in your place) she can be very rough
Q = Quickie (Their opinions on quickies rather than proper sex, how often, etc.)
She isn’t a big fan, and would rather just have ‘proper’ sex, wanting to make you come multiple times
That being said, if the opportunity arises, she will most certainly grab it.
R = Risk (Are they game to experiment, do they take risks, etc.)
Yep. If you’re trying something new, she’ll constantly ask to make sure you’re doing okay, that it feels good. if it just isn’t working, she’ll happily switch to something a little more familiar
S = Stamina (How many rounds can they go for, how long do they last…)
Ohoooo this woman can LAST. She’ll have you coming over and over again, and can manage a fair few orgasms herself before she starts getting worn out.
T = Toy (Do they own toys? Do they use them? On a partner or themselves?)
See ‘D’
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
Narcissa loves to tease you. Hence why she prefers to have proper sex rather than a quickie- she just loves to make you wait.
“Don’t pout at me, darling, or I’ll only make you wait longer,”
V = Volume (How loud they are, what sounds they make)
She can be particularly noisy, gasping and moaning and praising you, making sure you know how good you make her feel. Her sounds get a little more high pitched when she comes
W = Wild Card (Get a random headcanon for the character of your choice)
She loves giving you pet names. Some of her favourites include pet, sweetheart, darling, little one...
And she isn’t above calling you a slut either ;)
X = X-Ray (Let’s see what’s going on in those pants, picture or words)
Narcissa is willowy, with gently curving hips and soft thighs. She often wears lace too, and always stockings held up by a garter belt.
Y = Yearning (How high is their sex drive?)
I’d say it’s pretty average? If she’s horny, it can be a while before she actually fulfils her desires, preferring to get you sufficiently riled up.
Z = ZZZ (… how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
She doesn't, unless you do it late at night, or when you're both drunk. Instead, she’ll sit up with you, cuddling and chatting.
Tags: @a-hopeless-fan @lotsoffandomrecs @rai-strangebr @zodiyack @haphazardhufflepuff @dumbfuckinslytherin @severuslovebot @darkthought15 @rabeccablake @sambucky8 @eleven-times-lively @talksoprettyjjx @rangerelik @wonderwoman292 @lilymurphy03 @fredweasleyisntdead @fredswh0re @rogertaylorismycar @meaganjm @fanficwriter5 @shadesofbarryallen @kiwi-sloan @bbeauttyybbx @inglourious-imagines @bonniesgoldengirl @trumpsgorillagrip @blisshemmings @little-bit-of-randomness @vsarzx @eunoia-kth @liliputbahn @thestunningspell @beiahadid @courtnytrash04 @ccosmic-illusion @marshxx @hogwartslut @thatslovelymoony @winchestergirl333 @sterwild
#narcissa malfoy#narcissa black#narcissa Malfoy x reader#narcissa Malfoy x you#narcissa Malfoy x y/n#narcissa Malfoy smut#narcissa Malfoy headcanons#smut alphabet#2021
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The Works
Title: The Works Written by: @tisfan (3023) Square: R2 - Hydra Won (swapped square) Rating: Mature (for horror) Triggers/warnings: Tags: Hydra Won, ambiguous ending, incomplete Created for: @tonystarkbingo Word count: 2346 Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23753566/chapters/59696779 Summary: It had been his last act, getting the sleep-pods onto the ship and launching it, the whole time, holding Hydra at bay, keeping her here, keeping her distracted. And then she’d struck, casting some evil magic over him, over--He couldn’t remember.
__________
¬░▒╛┐z░¬ date ┴╗╣⌐g__d morning soldier ▒¬º╖ç
The old AI wasn’t working.
Which had been the plan, Barnes, get it together.
The man above him -- well next to him now that Bucky had sat up -- was something like a vision. They exchanged names, greetings. The man. Tony. Had asked some questions.
Bucky’s lips were warm. Tingling.
Tony had kissed him. To wake him up. To break the spell.
“Hydra won,” Bucky said. He wasn’t even sure he was speaking out loud, but he must have, because Tony was responding.
“That’s long since over,” Tony said. “There’s no Hydra anywhere in this sector.”
“She’s sleeping, because I was sleeping,” Bucky said. “I shut her down by shutting myself down. She might be back.”
“I didn’t see anyone else on this ship, except you and an awful lot of rabbits.”
“Rabbits?” Kobik had had some pet rabbits; a whole hutch of them. Part of the experiment. Could a space station become truly self-sufficient? The answer still looked like no, but some hutch and farm animals did function pretty well. There’d been goats at one time, too, but in the last days of the war, Bucky thought they’d all been eaten.
“They’re all over the place. My AI tells me they’re rabbits. I’ve never seen one, honestly.”
“Where th’ hell’d you grow up you ain’t never seen a rabbit,” Bucky wondered.
“I did mention the part about three hundred years, right?”
“Right, yeah,” Bucky said. “Uh, is there anything to eat?”
“There’s some mealpacks back at my ship,” Tony offered. “But unless your stuff is in permastore, I don’t think anything from here will be safe.”
“Water?”
Tony pulled out a canteen. That, at least, hadn’t changed much in form or function for centuries. Spout to put liquids in or to drink from, a standard filtration system, and a strap to carry it with. Why improve on something that was already perfect? Filters would, of course, adapt over time to whatever contaminants were in the water. “Human physiology hasn’t changed all that much,” Tony said. “I don’t think my filters will hurt you. But you have to be careful. Don’t drink from a Centurian’s canteen. They add in a lot of stims and endorphins to their water. Warrior race, but it gives the rest of us a twitchy stomach.”
“Good to know,” Bucky said. “How will I know who they are?”
“Don’t worry, they’ll usually tell you,” Tony joked. “They’re blue-skinned marsupials, with a red crown of-- head spikes, for lack of a better word.”
“Marsupials?”
“They carry their young around in a stomach pouch until they’re old enough to walk around. It’s a convenient arrangement,” Tony said.
“Okay, then,” Bucky said. He took a few sips of Tony’s water and then returned it to him. The nanites in his system would filter anything harmful out, and if he could eat soon enough, would get him back to fighting fit. Otherwise, he might possibly go into a cyber coma. He didn’t see the need to alarm Tony just yet. It wasn’t urgent. “We can check the mess, see if there’s any supplements left. They won’t go bad.”
Worst case, he could probably chase down one of the rabbits and skin it for food.
The whole station was both dead and alive at the same time. The hydroponics bay had escaped containment; there were vines and plants everywhere.
They’d probably grown, at least somewhat, in the remains of the dead. Bucky shuddered.
The rabbit colony hopped in and out of the dense plant growth. Unafraid, and why would they be? A rabbit only lived nine or ten years. There had been generations of them, since they last saw humans.
“Did, uh, did the colony ship get away?” Bucky asked.
It had been his last act, getting the sleep-pods onto the ship and launching it, the whole time, holding Hydra at bay, keeping her here, keeping her distracted.
And then she’d struck, casting some evil magic over him, over--
He couldn’t remember.
»£┼¬░▒-▒¿╟┼longing▒░┼╝º
“We never came across any ships from the Ring,” Tony said, as if apologizing, “but if you can give us mass and trajectory, I might be able to track it down for you.”
Sleep pods would last. If Bucky’s lasted, theirs would last.
He shook his head, wondering. Maybe they’d gotten out, maybe they’d gotten away. Away from Hydra, locked in her cold sleep with Bucky.
He wondered where she was.
She might still be on the station. He turned his gaze on Tony. That would be a strange form for her to take; Tony seemed sincere. But then, witches always seemed sincere, didn’t they?
“Sir, I’m reading some strange energy spikes in the station,” a voice said, coming from-- from Tony.
“My AI,” Tony said, as if apologizing. “Anything hazardous, Jay?”
“Not as yet, but you might want to consider retreating in the next few hours. Radiation levels are rising.”
“What’s the plan with the bunnies?” Tony asked. “Can we evacuate them to a planet?”
“I’ve already sent out a beacon pod, locating the station. Hopefully it will be able to float through the Ring, and broadcast from there.”
“Good job.”
“Of course, sir.”
“You’re worried about the wildlife?” Bucky asked, incredulous. Definitely not the witch, then. She wouldn’t have cared about the life of a bug, beast, or boy.
“They’re alive,” Tony said. “There’s no point in killing them. We’ve got biologists back on the various Initiative ships that can relocate them somewhere that they won’t be an invasive species. Well, technically, they’ll be invasive, but a careful selection will make sure they will fit in with the local ecosystem. Worst comes to worst, we can sell them as pets and novelties on Knowhere Station.”
“We do have cargo space in the lower deck,” JARVIS pointed out, “if you’re not planning to salvage much.”
“Salvage, right,” Tony said, snapping his fingers. “I got so carried away by Sleeping Beauty here that I forgot I was looking for valuables. What say you, hot stuff? You got anything worth selling on this floating coffin? Split it with you, 50/50.”[]
¥ƒ▀¥▒╜┼┼pжавыйÉ»¥┼╟╞─rusted▒╗▓
Bucky shook his head. “I think it’s all salvage now, rules of the drift,” he said. “Do you have policy in place for survivors?”
Back in his day, anyone found on the drift in space -- hypersleep accidents happened often enough that people could outlive their assets, their grandkids, their governments -- that some effort was made to track down any remaining property, they got a six month high intensity sleep-learning degree, and sent off into the world with a small stipend.
Bucky’d known a couple of them. Steve Rogers had done a Big Sleep, seventy years or more. Gone to sleep as a Private, cook’s assistant during the war and woke up as a Captain through time in rank.
Strange thing, really.
“You might be considered the longest standing prisoner of war,” Tony said. “Not that it matters, there’s a fortune to be had on this station. Split it with me, you won’t have to worry about it. This is all approved salvage. I have a license.”
He knew his way around the station, even with the plants and the rabbits. The rabbits were freaking him out a little; they kept following-- sticking their curious noses out of the underbrush. He wondered how they’d lived so long. Usually life support shut down when no one was breathing it.
Which meant Hydra had to be on the station somewhere.
“Why split it with me, then?” Bucky wondered. “License for salvage, you don’t need to--”
“Because I may be an asshole a lot of the time,” Tony said, “but I am not one hundred percent a dick.”
╜£Éëδ╗»╟┼╞─┬┴seventeen╜╝╗▒»▒┼
“If you want,” Bucky said. They finally made it to the messhall, and the sub-freeze was still reading green, so Bucky used his thumb print to open it. “I can recon some of these food packs.”
“You call this stuff food,” Tony said, incredulously. “You, my friend, you have been suffering. Recon has come so far since your day. Jay, can you dish up a four course for us?”
“Of course, sir,” JARVIS said.
“What’s considered a high value item?” Bucky wondered, picking out a few recon packs. He added water to the cooker, stuffed the packet in the slot and watched as the not-particularly interesting, but high calorie, high vitamin cereal poured itself into a reusable cup. The spoons were a little iffy, so Bucky added more water, and then drank it as a gruel. Yuck, but it would keep his systems intact for a while longer. Just a little while longer.
He just needed to know what happened to Hydra.
Where was she?
Not in the messhall, that was for sure.
Tony was still running down a list of items -- elements that could be repurposed. Titanium, protactinium, thorium. They’d had those in ample supply at one point. Potable water, preferably in ice form, which was easier to tow.
“Wait, what was that last thing?”
“Etherium gas,” Tony said. “Might as well as for unobtainium, or wishalloy.”
“What, why?”
“As far as we know, stable etherium is a fantasy,” Tony said. “We’ve got plausible theories, but no one’s ever gotten a hold of the stuff before. I was spinning castles in space.”
“Um.”
╟S│ªS▒»░▒O1█┼daybreak▒»╟╗╣╕ë
“We have a tankful, at least,” Bucky said, “if nothing’s changed. That’s what we were mining, here--”
Tony was staring at him as if he’d said the moon really was made from green cheese.
“A-- let me get this straight. A tank. How much is in a tank?”
“It’s not really my department,” Bucky said, “but last I checked, about twenty thousand gallons of liquid etherium.”
Tony stopped moving, he seemed to stop breathing.
“I think we just became the richest men in the galaxy,” he said, finally. “Show me where this tank of yours is. Can we detach it for hauling?”
Bucky nodded. It was the gas, he thought. That attracted Hydra. She’d come because of the gas, and they’d fought her over the gas.
Witch.
Monster.
╟╗▒░ªÜfurnace▒»��▒╟┼╣
“Tony--” Bucky said, reaching out his hand. He caught hold of the other man’s wrist. “The gas--”
“Perfectly safe, cupcake,” Tony said. “We’ll make sure there’s no leaks, then we can just haul it away. Easy peasy, nice and cheesy.”
Bucky was pretty sure the phrase didn’t go that way.
And it wasn’t safe.
If Hydra was still on the station, that would be where she was.
Hibernating, maybe.
Or just waiting. Lurking.
He wanted to speak, it was like he’d forgotten the words, and so instead of saying anything, he just turned and led Tony deeper into the station. Down into the Works, the mag-engines and the hydropods, the storage and the plumbing, the fuel cells. It was dark there, wet and heavy somehow. The plant life stopped, which wasn’t surprising, and while there were a few rabbits down this deep, they didn’t seem… normal.
Mutations, perhaps.
Bucky shuddered the thought away.
Tony had said he’d sent out a beacon.
Help-- someone could help them.
Maybe someone would come.
I don’t have to run faster than Hydra, I just have to run faster than you.
Not true, and everyone knew it. Hydra was so fast. She was there before you even knew it. She wasn’t a sight, or something to touch. A witch, some sort of presence.
“Here,” Bucky said. “This is the shut off station. We’ll need to disconnect, and run diagnostics. That can take a few hours--”
“Don’t worry, Jarvis is already in the works, he’s a lot faster than your old systems,” Tony said. “We’ll be on our way back to civilization before you’re even sleepy.”
╟»▒░½Ü¢Ö▒»╟┼nine┼»Q▒»░▒╟┼
“Do you hear something,” Bucky said. He took a few steps down toward-- he didn’t even know. Something was down there. Calling him. Like a magnet that he was too pinlike to resist. A flame, to draw away a moth. It would burn him up, and he knew it, but he could not--
“Hey!” Tony’s hand was hard on his wrist, the fingernails biting lightly into his skin. “Hey, Bucky. You okay?”
“No, I don’t think I am,” Bucky said.
“Jay, how’s it look?”
“You may come back to the ship at any time, sir,” JARVIS said. “I can handle the disconnect from here.”
“Gotta be sleep-shock,” Tony was saying, “I’m so sorry, you seemed okay, let me just--”
Tony was leading him away.
Away from answers.
Away from--
▒┼╟╗╦Ñ▒»╟benign▒┼╫D░▒½¬
“It’s all right, you don’t have to do anything else, I’ve got you,” Tony said.
And he did. Somehow, this man was… carrying Bucky. Like he was a sleepy child. Bucky blinked.
“Nanites,” Tony said. “They’re pretty amazing. I know you had ‘em back in your day, my scans show you’ve got some yourself. I think there’s something interfering with yours, though. Maybe they’re just old. We can do a filter, get you fixed up. It’s all right, just let me take care of you.”
That was nice, somehow. The idea of just letting go. Of letting Tony take care of things. Letting him take care…
Of Hydra.
Would it even be possible? That the witch could be defeated by something as simple and small as human technology?
“Jay, get me a stretcher, would you, buddy?”
Bucky couldn’t see anything; everything was getting cold, frozen. His eyelids were frozen shut. Winter--
Winter was coming.
The winter.
He remembered climbing into the sleeppod, knowing she was right behind him, knowing--
He’d known something, once.
What was it--
▒┼╟»ª╣╝»homecoming▒»╣¥╝¡☺”
Static in his head, like snow. Freezing. He was so cold. Tony’s hands were on him, but he couldn’t see, and if Tony was talking, he couldn’t hear it.
She was coming.
Hydra was coming.
They’d woken her up, somehow, and she was on her way to claim him.
“You need to run,” Bucky said, hoping Tony could hear him. That he could do something. Anything.
Live.
Run.
Run.
▒»╟┼┴▒½¡╝one▒ªñªú┼╝│
“Tony, run--”
“Freight car.”
Bucky closed his eyes and went away.
The Winter Soldier was here.
“Hail Hydra.”
A/n - @27dragons wouldn’t let me post this until everything was resolved, so, I have written 2 more chapters and I will post them in the next 2 weeks or so.
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Pain With and Without Love | Loki L.
A/N: YA KID CAT IS BACK WITH A PIECE THAT WILL HOPEFULLY TEAR OUT YOUR HEART AND STOMP ON IT TWO MILLION TIMES. Anyway, this is for the wonderful @writingsoftheloser‘s 1k writing challenge, and first of all, YOU AREN’T BOTHERING ME BY TAGGING ME IN A WRITING CHALLENGE, and second of all, YOU’RE HECKING AWESOME, OF COURSE YOU’D GET TO 1K FOLLOWERS AND YOUR WRITING IS HECKING FABULOUS OKAY?? I LOVE YOU SO MUCH. (please pretend that the gif is actually Loki) (also, I found out that the italics and formatting doesn’t work on mobile, so it’d be better to read it on the computer)
Warnings: Probably some swear words, some PTSD hidden through description of words, fighting, blood, battles, shooting people.
Word Count: 4 667
Blurb: (Y/N) dresses up as a man to enlist in the army, and there she meets an attractive Lieutenant who goes by the mysterious name Loki. He doesn’t seem to sleep, his eyes appear to glow and everyone has an irrational fear of him. Something is not right about him and (Y/N) wants to know what. When an attack from the opposition ends badly, she finds out how different Loki truly is. And she finds out that love during war is not always the best idea.
Prompt: World War 1
*DISCLAIMER: I DON’T OWN ANYTHING IN THIS BUT THE PLOT*
Heart thudding and breaths short, (Y/N) (Y/L/N) ran across No Man’s Land, praying that the cover of darkness that the night provided was enough to hide her small form. She had been teased relentlessly about her size and higher voice, because the illusion that she was male was still believed. “Lieutenant Loki, are you alright?” Her voice was deceptively steady, hiding shaking hands and tears threatening to spill. “Lieutenant Loki I need to get you out of here alive.” There was no answer.
Handing over fake forms filled out with new information (Y/N) was now ‘Adam Wilson’ a factory worker of 18 years old. The grime underneath her fingernails and the dirt on her cheeks helped add to the illusion, but in reality, she was a young girl who lived in poverty, hoping for better pay. Dying on the battlefield for her country was a much better end than dying on the streets of starvation. And at least she now had a steady income to feed her family. Of course, they didn’t know she was doing this. They didn’t need to know. What they don’t know can’t hurt them. The man sitting at the desk stamped the papers and added them to a pile, which was promptly picked up by a young mail-boy and taken off to a big canvas tent.
“Okay, kiddo, you’ll be training under Lieutenant Loki. Good luck.” He snickered cruelly, shoving a ticket into her hands, before gesturing for her (now him) to move along. Who was Lieutenant Loki? Why did she somehow felt a shiver up her spine at his very name? And why did the name ‘Loki’ sound familiar? Shrugging, she shoved her hands in her pockets, the ticket getting buried in her one good pocket, before walking away to the train station.
She’d be on her way with the next few soldiers, or that’s how she heard it’d be. She didn’t have any clothes or material possessions of importance, except a ratty old copy of her favourite book, tucked deep inside her coat and invisible to the naked eye. The hairs on the back of her neck raised as she glanced around and caught bright emerald eyes that seemed to glow. Her breathing stuttered as they stayed trained on her, but when she blinked, they were lost to the crowd.
Her hands flew over the clasps of her Lieutenant’s coat, taking away the layers and she gasped, choking on air as she saw the bullet holes, still bleeding meaning he was still alive. Hopefully. He had been shot, that much was obvious, but he had been shot on his left shoulder and right thigh.
“Loki....” She whispered, ripping the cloth of his coat up and applying pressure to his thigh’s wound. “You shouldn’t have done that.” Her voice broke at the end, betraying her emotions. Loki took a rattling breath, surprising (Y/N), who jerked backwards, having already wrapped his wound. His glowing green eyes were slits and he hissed as she moved him to tend to his shoulder wound and apply pressure.
“Get down soldier.” He growled through clenched teeth, and she heard the unmistakeable bang of a gun.
“At ease.” Lieutenant Loki said at last, after taking a close look at the soldiers lined up in front of him.
They had met aboard the train, and whilst the men mingled and cheered at the ‘certain glory’ that the battles they would fight would bring. She hadn’t bothered to introduce herself, being the smallest and ‘weakest’ she’d been immediately dismissed as the first to die so no one wanted to be her companion. Except one persistent man with bright green eyes hiding a cunning mind and the sharp facial features of a hunter. He later introduced himself as the infamous Lieutenant Loki, whose name caused her heart to spike instantly, although she wasn’t sure if it was in fear or apprehension. The men however, pales instantly and even the most berate seems scared. Of course, they hadn’t been all that brave in the first place. Just plain arrogance. They were the ones who would get killed first. He cocked his head to the side, eyes narrowed as the men smirked seemingly proud of the way that Loki was analysing them. (Y/N), however felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand up straight as his gaze fell on her. It lingered long enough for her to straighten her spine and stare back, before breaking the stare to stare forward as trained of her.
Feet a shoulder-width apart, hands behind her back, shoulders back, chin up, eyes forward, and face blank.
What she didn’t see was Loki’s eyes flashing green and a wicked smile appear on his face for a split second.
The men seemed to take her actions as a cue to follow. Unsure, because she was so small and so weak, why would ‘he’ know what to do?
Because ‘he’ just knew. Because ‘he’ knew that the war wasn’t a joke.
Because ‘he’ knew that he had to stand straight and proud.
Because ‘he’ knew that Loki was a threat, and had to be treated as such, until the time was right and ‘he’ could make the right choice.
To befriend or to fight.
“Good.” Lieutenant Loki’s voice was smooth and deadly. “You seem to know how to stand. Now let’s see if you know how to do a push-up.”
Many of the men’s faces twisted up into a half-snarl of boredom and discontent. They didn’t sign up to be asked to do push-ups, they signed up for glory.
And glory they would have.
“Loki.” She sobbed his name in relief. He wasn’t dead. She hadn’t lost him. Yet.
“I don’t have much energy left, but I can make a shield, just shoot the problematic ones and get yourself to safety, (Y/N).” He grimaced as she tried to lift his head up.
Then the lights flooded, and she flopped on top of him.
Loki didn’t make a sound, but (Y/N) knew it must have hurt when she landed on his wound. She already had blood on her uniform, from the massacre of her comrades as they marched to their deaths on No Man’s Land.
He let out a shuddering breath as the sound of machine guns filled the air, waving over the spot they occupied, before the lights flashed out and the guns were silenced.
“Run, go back, please.” Loki begged. Loki didn’t beg. He ordered. This… this was a different Loki. She must have looked shocked, because he gave a weary sigh, as if he were one who had been fighting for too long.
“What are you?” She’d been dared by the guys to ask Loki a singular question that she’d always wanted to. And that was her question. To be fair, he didn’t drink water as often as they did, he didn’t appear to sleep, he ate a heck of a lot more than the beefiest of them and he had this special ability to just attract the attention of everyone in the room with the slightest movement. But the thing that unnerved (Y/N) the most was the way he seemed to see right through her disguise. She just knew that he knew she wasn’t telling the whole truth. And it scared her.
“Something that exists.” He grinned at her, tiredly, but the bags under his eyes suddenly disappeared and he seemed to liven up. “And what are you doing in a bar, hours before you are deployed?”
“I could ask you the same question, Lieutenant.” The rowdiness nearly drowned out her voice as she pulled out a chair and waved to get the attention of the bartender. “Water please.” She ordered, and the bartender rolled her eyes, before filling a cup with tap water. It was probably dirty, considering where and when they were.
Loki raised his eyebrows, looking questioning at the cup of water, before downing whatever alcoholic drink it was in his cup in one gulp and gesturing to the bartender to get him a refill.
“Well, (Y/N), I’m here drowning my sorrows out with the lovely buzz of strong alcohol. And I see you doing none of that, so again, I ask, what are you doing here?”
“Asking you a question.”
“You’ve asked your question, you’re free to go now.” Loki gave her a tight smile, and made a shooing gesture, before catching the cup that slid over to him and downing it all again, staring at the wood of the bar before him.
Something made her hesitate, maybe it was the way that he didn’t seem as bossy, or as lethal as he usually did. None of the guys were around, but she guessed she could dress the question up a little.
“Well, the guys who dared me to ask you this aren’t gonna be happy if I don’t bring them a good answer.”
“That’s not my problem.” Loki replied instantly, not even glancing her way.
“Just answer the question.”
“A mortal, just like you lot.” He glared forward, face blank, but his eyes hardened and sharp. He turned his gaze on her, and analysed every inch of her face. She refused to give in, staring back and not giving him any ground. His lips twitched upwards. “I gave you a sufficient answer, now leave.” He raised an eyebrow slightly, movement too small for anyone watching them to pick up, but with (Y/N) as close to him as she was, she picked up on it immediately.
“You said mortal.” (Y/N) told him, and the eyebrow went up further. “It implies there are immortals.”
“You’re a smart one, aren’t you?”
“And you’ve known from day one.” She raised an eyebrow, mimicking his facial expression, then he burst out into loud laughter, loud enough to startle (Y/N), who had never known him to laugh. Maybe a cynical or maniacal laugh, she could imagine, but one of pure amusement? No. That was not Loki. Or not the Loki she knew from training.
“Oh, I’ve known.” He grinned at her, a smile laced with danger, but amusement that hid it so well, she was shocked. Loki was something else. “I’ve known for a long time.” He had somehow gotten a refill, and downed it all again, wiping his mouth on a handkerchief he pulled out of his pocket, before standing up. He stumbled, and she immediately flung one of his arms around her shoulder and supported his weight, the rigorous training that Loki had put her and the men through before their deployment kept her alert and strong. From the position she was in, she could smell the alcohol on his breath as he huffed a laugh. “I’m fine, little mortal.”
“Tell that to your legs.” (Y/N) muttered under her breath. “Come on, I’ll get you back to the camp and you can guide me to your tent so that you might actually get there safely and quickly you self-destructive Lieutenant.”
“Ooohh, I love it when you get bossy.” Loki said in a sing-song manner, obviously drunk.
“Well, you’re going to love it more when I get angry.” (Y/N) muttered through clenched teeth. Then it hit her that he said he loved it when she did something. He never gave approval or showed satisfaction when someone did something impressive or perfect. He just told them to do it again.
“Hnnnnnnnnnn.” He moaned, head falling onto hers, eyes half-closed. “I love you, (Y/N), my deceptively beautiful (Y/N).” The pink on his cheeks was now on his neck, and he had a mild fever. Which was strange, because his pale skin never seemed to go above 20 degrees Celsius, and now it had sky-rocketed to 30 or 40 degrees Celsius.
“I’m going to help you take off your jacket, okay Loki? You’re getting a fever. You really shouldn’t have drank that much alcohol.” (Y/N) scolded him lightly, unbuttoning his jacket with one hand, and holding him against her side with the other.
“Yeeeeeess, get me undressed.” Loki slurred his words, but something in his eyes indicated he knew exactly what he was doing. And she read it perfectly.
Shaking her head, she grabbed his jaw and forced him to look her in the eyes.
“OOOOOOoohh, are we going to kiss now?” He asked loudly, and she shushed him.
“Look, Loki, right now you are acting drunken, too drunken. I know at least half of it is an act, but I will let you know this, I am going to take you to your tent, lay you down on your mat on your side so if you throw up, you won’t choke, and I will make sure your fever goes down. And you will cooperate. Nothing other than that is going to happen, do you hear me?” Loki stared at her in a calculating manner, there was a veil of haziness over his eyes, hiding the cunning mind behind them.
“Okay.” He said quietly, and started moving forward, before doubling over and dry-heaving then vomiting. (Y/N) quickly swept his rather long hair back and out of his face as whatever used to be his lunch came up.
It took a few moments for Loki to gasp and retch, then right himself, he glanced down at her, then finally sagged against her, legs seeming to give out.
She may have been mistaken, but she heard the softest “Thank you.” fall from his lips.
But when he didn’t mention it, she decided to ignore it. It would be for the better. She told herself.
Laying him down in his blankets, she made sure he was laying on his side, and pulled his shirt off, pulling the much softer and much more comfortable blankets over him.
“I’m going to leave a cup of water next to your bed, please get better soon, Lieutenant, we depart tomorrow.” She whispered, and kissed his forehead as if it were the most natural thing on Earth.
Only when she was leaving did she realise how inappropriate that was for their rankings, and for their situation. But that didn’t stop the blush that crept up her neck and flourished on her cheeks.
Pulling her rifle from the strap on her shoulder, she steadied it next to Loki, facing towards the enemy line. “I’m not leaving without you.” She promised, and he sighed, a rattling sound. A sound like faith leaving one’s body. A sound she knew that Loki would never make if he wasn’t giving up. And Loki never gave up.
“Fine, (Y/N), but please, don’t lose your life.”
(Y/N) snorted and glanced down at him, “I can’t make promises on a battlefield to avoid the one thing it brings; death.”
“Wise words.” Loki muttered, and then his hands flared a bright green, causing chaos to ensue on both sides of No Man’s Land. The bullets came flying in from both sides, and (Y/N) quickly positioned herself protectively over Loki, making sure he wasn’t hurt.
She waited for the impact that never came.
“Uh, excuse me, could you tell me where to find Lieutenant Loki?” A high-pitched, feminine voice called out over the din of the boys brawling playfully.
“Huh? Why’d you want to speak to him when you have us?” One of (Y/N)’s comrades came forward, facing the petite girl.
“I have a message from the head nurse.” She explained shortly, glaring as much as she dared.
“I know where he is.” (Y/N) spoke up after a murmur rippled through the crowd. No one really knew where Loki went during the day, no one but (Y/N), and that was only because she bothered to pay attention to what he did and where to find him if the need ever arose.
The young girl seemed to be relieved as (Y/N) took her elbow and guided her away from the boys. “Thank you so much.” She told her cheerily.
“No problem, Miss….” She trailed off, suddenly realising she didn’t know what the young girl’s name was.
“Miss Claire.” She answered, “And you must be the famous (Y/N) (Y/L/N).”
“Famous?” She snorted. “I’m hardly even known.”
“Trust me, among nurses you are.” She winked, and (Y/N) suddenly blushed, realising what that meant. Just because she was always polite and understanding towards them didn’t mean that she was interested, but it appeared that they saw it that way. She didn’t mind that much, but she didn’t want to hurt any of them as well.
There were whoops from the boys as they walked away, cat-calling was a popular practice in the army, and teasing a fellow armsman about talking to a lady or helping one was also very popular. Especially if that armsman never seemed to talk to anyone.
“Anyway, he’s just through here….” She trailed off and lead the young lady through a series of tents and finally found the one he always hid away in when he wasn’t training them or they weren’t taking their shift in the trenches. The boys tended to head up to the local bar at night, but when it was bright daylight, they liked to just hang around the temporary camp.
“Thank you again, I would never have found him without you.” Miss Claire said, and (Y/N) smiled, nodding her head.
“You are very welcome, Miss Claire. I’m glad to be of service.” Miss Claire giggled as (Y/N) strode off, but when she heard Claire yelp, she turned around to see a dishevelled and angry Loki poke his head out of the tent.
“What do you want, little girl?” He asked snappily, and Miss Claire’s mood changed instantly, from amused to terrified.
“Y-you’re n-needed by the h-head nurse.” She managed to stutter out, and Loki just scowled.
“Go tell your head nurse that I have other matters to attend to.” There was some shuffling from inside the tent, and (Y/N) walked into their field of vision.
“Lieutenant Loki, would you really dismiss a summon from the head nurse, someone who could easily choose not to treat you?”
“I can treat myself.” He replied shortly, but his eyes softened slightly. Did he remember what happened last night? She sure as hell hoped not.
“Mhm, and what if she withholds bandages or other materials that you need to treat yourself?”
“Then I will make do with what I have.” He retorted, raising an eyebrow. “What are you getting at, soldier?”
“I’m trying to say, maybe it’s best to stay on the good side of the people who could literally bring you back from death.” (Y/N) told him softly, unsure of how he would react. At this point, she had managed to get between Loki and Miss Claire, so if Loki exploded in rage, he wouldn’t hurt Miss Claire.
“Very well, I will go to your head nurse.” He told Miss Claire, and his head disappeared. Seconds later, a young nurse came out of his tent, make-up obviously messed up, and hair messy. Her clothes looked like they had been hastily put on, and she was walking with the swagger of someone who had just done something that they were proud of. Or someone.
(Y/N) wasn’t sure what the emotion was exactly, but it felt like something had stabbed her right through the chest, wrapped itself around her heart and then clenched. The air left her lungs, but she kept a blank mask and didn’t move a muscle.
Loki could sleep around all he wants, he’s not his. He never would be.
But that didn’t stop the hurting.
Loki came out seconds later, dressed in his formal uniform, and he adjusted the jacket quickly, long hair slightly mussed as his slender fingers raced up the front, doing the buttons up quickly. He took a few long strides, and quickly jerked his head to the side, staring at the Miss Claire.
“Come on woman, let’s go.” He said, no emotions in his eyes, and a blank mask on his face.
(Y/N) stood by the opening flap of his tent, and watched as they disappeared through the maze of tents as the lady who had just exited his tent smirked at her and bounced off, apparently pleased with her new ‘conquest’.
She didn’t know that Loki was such a womanizer. Was that all (Y/N) was to him? His ‘deceptively beautiful (Y/N)’? She was just another conquest. She was just another mortal.
Well, they were departing that evening, so she guessed the head nurse just wanted to go over a few things with him before he left. That was it. That was most likely it.
Not at all like he could probably charm the head nurse as well.
Sighing, (Y/N) ran a hand through her now-short hair, and walked away. It was just getting too complicated; this was war, feelings were not to be dealt with in a time where anybody and everybody was probably going to die young.
This was not a time where (Y/N) could feel something. Especially love.
Loki gasped for breath as green lights sparked around them, lighting up the air as bullets pinged off them. “Wow….” (Y/N) breathed, and Loki choked a laugh back.
“Wow indeed, for a mortal that’s never seen magic before. As I said before, shoot them down quickly.”
It was because of Loki’s rigorous training that she was able to shoot down, maybe all thirty of the men on the opposing side in less than half that time (it helped that they clumped together near the big machine guns).
“Magic you say? Couldn’t you just magic your wounds away?” (Y/N) asked, getting into a crouch position and eyeing Loki’s body, trying to find the most painless way to lift him up and take him back to safety.
“Well… it’s a long story.”
“You don’t appear to have much time.”
“Agreed, but basically, I was curious about Midgard, your realm, too curious, and then the Allfather banished me here to live as a mortal until I either died or… regained my magic by falling in love with a mortal.”
“Ah, the little nurse lady.” (Y/N) nodded her head like she understood. She smiled as if she were happy for him. She pretended, for her dying crush’s sake, that she was happy for him.
“No….” Loki winced in pain, and she swore a tear rolled down his face as his eyes started to close, breaths ragged and drawn out. She could barely feel his chest moving and his heart beating, and he was nearly shirtless. “You.” He whispered. “I love you.”
Honestly, (Y/N) didn’t know how to respond, it felt like the world was breaking, and falling apart around her, like nothing was going to be right again, but it felt like everything was suddenly okay, like everything would work out even if she believed otherwise. If felt like a contradiction.
Her heart pulling one way, her mind pulling the other. HE LOVES HER, DON’T GET ATTACHED, HE’S DYING, BUT HE LOVES HER!
She couldn’t help it, she pressed her lips against his, tears running down her face without permission and heart aching with all the love she never got the change to give.
It hurt. It hurt so much, Loki was dying. He couldn’t live much longer, she knew that.
“And what happens when you find your love?”
“I… go.” Loki murmured. “I’ll never forget you. I swear I will be back for you….”
“I’ll never forget you too.” She swore something bright glinted in his eyes as he made his last promise. Something felt like it shifted in the universe, as if making it so that he could definitely come back to her. But she knew that fate wouldn’t care so much for a broken and and a broken boy, clinging onto hope that wouldn’t last.
The last thing Loki sees is (Y/N)’s teary eyed face.
(Y/N) is found, dragging herself back to their trenches, half-dead, half-asleep and completely drained of any and all energy. The war is over, she’s relieved of her duty, she reveals that she had always been a girl, and she gets rewarded.
But what has always haunted her and will always continue to haunt her was Loki.
That night, the night he had died, she had stayed with him, clutched his cooling body close, no matter how gross and sticky it got, and hoped with all her heart that he would come back to her.
She knew he would never come back to her.
The only thing she had left of him, were his dog tags, which she always wore, no matter what. If she didn’t… well, she avoided situations where she couldn’t. She went on to live as normally as possible, but every time she sees a green light, she thinks it’s Loki, and panics.
Every time she hears a ‘ping’ she thinks it’s bullets getting bounced off Loki’s magic forcefield.
Every time she sees a soldier, she is reminded of the love that could never have happened, and every time she hears a loud bang, she ends up on the brink of a panic attack because that was the sound that meant either life or death.
She couldn’t help it. She missed him, but she wished she had never joined the army and hurt herself in such a way.
She loved him, but she didn’t want to have to count her breaths every time she heard a loud noise, she didn’t want to panic every time she arrived at traffic lights, she didn’t want to hurt so freaking much all the godsdam time.
She didn’t know just how much war could teach her about pain.
About the pains that came with love, and the pains that came with war.
She wished she never learnt.
Maybe it’s her thoughts. Maybe it’s her dreams. But she swears it’s not her hallucinations that bring Loki to her room when she’s maybe two or three days away from dying of old age. Maybe even less.
She has no muscles left.
Or close to no muscles.
She can barely function without her nurse.
But Loki… he hadn’t seemed to have aged a day.
“My (Y/N)....” He murmured. “Look what time has done to you, my deceptively beautiful (Y/N)....”
She choked, “Loki….” Tears springing into eyes that hadn’t been able to cry in years. Eyes that hadn’t cried in years. “You’re alive….”
“Of course I am, my darling.” He swept towards her, kissing her forehead, and then her lands, holding them up to his lips and treating her as if she were the most delicate china in existence. “And I’ll always be there for you. By your side as you enter the halls of Valhalla.”
“But Valhalla is only for those who die fighting.”
“I… I have bargained with the Allfather, and he has agreed to let in on the condition that….”
“That what?” (Y/N) fretted over what he had bargained with. Loki, the Loki she knew, the Loki that she had fallen in love with, would have made a horrifically terrible decision.
“That I am to remain by your side until either one of our souls fades.”
Tears spring into her eyes once again, and she grips onto his hand, which was still holding hers, as hard as she could. “Thank you… thank you so much, Loki.”
“I love you, and I promised I’d be back.” Mischief sparked up in his eyes. “And think of all the things we could do together.”
“Oh, all the mischief that you’d get up to?” (Y/N) raised an eyebrow as well as she could. Loki nodded excitedly and looked down at her.
“Uh, but there is one thing that you must know about me….”
“You’re over a thousand years old?”
“How did you know that?”
(Y/N) shrugged. “The internet exists for a reason y’know.” (Y/N) tugged his hand towards her heart, where it beated feebly, but faster than it had ever beaten. “Kiss me. Please.”
And kiss her he did.
He kissed her like his life depended on it.
And when her mortal body died later that day, he led her to Valhalla, where they lived happily ever after.
The End.
Loki Taglist: @drakesfiance
#vi1khistoricalchallenge#marvel#mcu#marvel fanfic#loki#loki laufeyson#loki odinson#loki x reader#loki laufeyson x reader#loki odinson x reader#loki x you#loki laufeyson x you#loki odinson x you#loki x me#loki laufeyson x me#loki odinson x me#loki x yn#loki laufeyson x yn#loki odinson x yn#loki x y/n#loki odinson x y/n#loki laufeyson x y/n#loki x (y/n)#loki odinson x (y/n)#loki laufeyson x (y/n)#uselesspileofstressandsadness writes
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Episode 15 Replies
All SoS reply posts have spoiler caveats on them, but here it applies more than ever. Proceed with caution.
@sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “No, it’s nothing to do with–” … “N-no - no. It’s just a weird...”
HMMMM...
foreboooooooooooooooooode
@tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Percy: “Hello? Anyone–?” Cornelia: “Hello yourself, Percy. What are...”
eyeballs at both of them
@jackssims replied to your photoset “Percy: “Look, let’s say Lyra hits the final two. Or the killer, let’s...”
A good speech from Felicity but that content is making me a little sus 👀 (granted my suspicion has drifted to her, so...)
IMO a good MMBC makes a Sim sufficiently suspicious, and a great MMBC makes every eligible party sufficiently suspicious. I’m aiming to make a great MMBC today. Well, all days.
(Also specifically to Jack: I won’t confirm or deny, but I will say it’s not like she’s not telling the truth. Trans people do know more how to survive than most...)
sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset ““said anything yet.†Felicity: “-w- what was that? Listen.â€Â ...”
:O
She’s still Ron’s Delano’s sister!
@cafesimming reblogged your photoset and added:
i have the purest daughter #what an absolute sweetheart
tosimornottosim replied to the same:
thats so pure...........
Not to put too fine a point on it, but I love Lavandar so, so, so, so so so much. I love all three of- I loved all four of them, but to see the enthusiasm you have for Lavandar makes my heart warm
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “M-morning, Kira. Hi, Toby.” Toby: “Hey. So, another last...”
I thought Toby said 'baby' instead of 'today' for a second I was like WOAH SLOW THE ROLL
I bet now you wish he hadn’t slowed the roll huh
cafesimming replied to your photoset “Kira: “Okay, if I’m guessing right here, we’ve got enough time that I...”
😊 !!
sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “Are you sure? You look distracted. Everything definitely...”
😭 this is pure
With all the tension between Percy and Kira since that incident in Episodes 5 through 7, I figured the latter could use some more bonding to cheer her up!
cafesimming replied to the same:
broke: intracontestant fighting woke: intracontestant friendship
There’s a time and a place for both; it just depends on what potential you can spot and what happens in game organically!
cafesimming replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “Right, okay, okay, okay. How much do you know about snakes...”
it makes me very happy that "lavandar infodumps about lizards" is a tag
It’s mostly to contrast how worried she is that Lorelei doesn’t care about what she’s saying at all at the first, and how she’s more sure that she does later on. believe it or not I do try and include character growth every now and again
cafesimming reblogged your photoset and added:
😭😭 #baby
everyone is crying all over the place today and we haven’t even got to the real heart-hurt yet
cafesimming replied to your photoset “STOP IT!” *THUD* … *thud* “…” *shallow breath* “Nn… nn.”
DID LETHE JUST FUCKING KILL SOMEONE EITH ONE OF LOR'S INSTRUMDNTS DUDE YOU CANT /DO THAT/
Lorelei will never be able to play that brand of guitar again
cafesimming replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “I guess- I guess it’s your turn now, Lavandar?” ...”
*lets out held breath* ohthankgod
Tenderhooks
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Kira: “It’s funny, y’know. When you put it like that. ‘We’re...”
toby is fucking dead
Process of Elimination Strikes Again, in more ways than one
cafesimming replied to the same:
oh i am Not looking forward to this fallout. this isnt gonna be pretty on anyone
it wasn’t
sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “˜Found Toby.’”
FUCK i mean i knew this was coming and i CALLED it that the lorelei contestant murder was gonna be this round but STILL FUCK
I mean To Be Fair you were warned it could be the case, as the end credits explain
tosimornottosim replied to the same:
FECK ARSE
jackssims replied to the same:
Oh FUCK
And it's too late, for me now Will not learn never know how Voided colours bleeding out My monochrome
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Victim: Toby Hale Cause of death: Blunt Force Trauma...”
FYCK FEOWGHWREIUGWRGTW
cafesimming replied to the same:
shiiiiit
@bountifulberries replied to the same:
I’m SO sad
And my thoughts are falling out Brain is splattered on the ground Hanging five feet in the air I figured out There's no way out
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Toby?!” “–oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck oh fuck–” “He’s… he’s...”
i'm so sorry lor
jackssims replied to the same:
This is. Upsetting
cafesimming replied to the same:
i want to help her. i wish i could help her
her heart is breaking so much. so so much
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “¦ Toby: “…n…†… Toby: “Wh… L- Lorelei? Lorelei, got- g-tta…...”
how dare you
What I think Vid is referring to is this insightful bit I clarified on Discord:
ALSO SO okay okay: okay: one of toby's lines in the latest post "w-why can't I see?" that line keeps flopping back and forth between two different interpretations for me the first that it's part of my HC that ghosts see things differently to how mortal Sims do - which admittedly is something I haven't incorporated in some time the second? that lethe hit him so hard that he's become blind BELIEVE ME I DO NOT WANT THIS I DONT KNOW WHY IT KEEPS TELLING ME THAT
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Toby: “Oh.” Oʜ? Toby: “…it’s my time, isn’t it?” Iᴛ ɪs. Sᴀᴅʟʏ,...”
AUGTRHTBERHTER
HE LOVES HER SO MUCH VIDCUND
sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “¦ Lorelei: *almost a whisper* “I… d-didn’t want you to go either,...”
😢😭
No More the Het Shit to Hit people with
jackssims replied to your photoset “Percy: “…t-this is my fault.” Lilith: “Pe- Per - Percy?” Percy: “I, I...”
Lyra?
Lyra... Lyra! Lyra~
cafesimming replied to the same:
someone pls get my daughter out of the pool of blood
things you don’t want to hear at a police station
jackssims replied to your photoset “Lorelei: “Lyra. Got- gotta call - ” *wipes eyes* “- gotta call Lyra.” ...”
Oh, okay. I dunno why I thought Lyra was just going to waltz into the BC house, but I did. Calling her makes a lot more sense
Lyra: *kangaroo kicks down the door with her leg, falls flat on her ass* LOR HOLY FUCK
jackssims replied to your photoset “¦ Percy: “So? W-what’s it say?†… Percy: “Lorelei? What does–â€...”
Poor Lorelei 😭
you sympathized even when you Did Not Know the extent
cafesimming replied to your photoset “Lavandar: “…Kira? … Kira.” Kira: “Yeah?” Lavandar: “Where’s Lorelei...”
heck
watch your fucking language
sevenleafsimblr replied to the same:
😰
poor Clover
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “Lyra: “How did you find out?!” Percy: “I- I can’t, I-” Lyra:...”
W W H A T
sevenleafsimblr replied to your photoset “Lyra: “How did you find out?!” Percy: “I- I can’t, I-” Lyra:...”
😰😰😰😰😰😰😰
At one point Kaspar liked up to this point then stopped cold and I was like “oh shit I killed them. reveal game too strong”
tosimornottosim replied to your photoset “this wasn’t supposed to happen. none of tthis was supposed to HAPPEN....”
M e l o d y???????? M E L O D Y????????????????????????????????
M e l o d y
Jack said elsewhere:
In all honesty my head is reeling from all of this I'm just very 👀 and 🤔 rn
👀 I can see, but what’s 🤔 represent? Speculation?
Lissa said elsewhere:
You've done some Good Shit Kara Get some good rest, you've more than earned it
Nope! Now I’m not queueing and any image I add won’t interfere with it, I’m gonna go double hard and double time on the installment subsequent. And hopefully it’ll be revealing enough to really make Lavandar sit up! ...from the pool of blood.
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I just want to know why you like Petyr Baelish. He's like Woody Allen. Don't you have sympathy for survivors?
Okay, let me nip this attempted guilt trip in the bud.
They are not the same. One fundamental difference is that WA is real and has inflicted real harm on real people, while PB at least has the decency to be fictional. If I did not like his character, there still would be the exact same number of real life sick fucks out there preying on real people. My interest in fictional characters has 0 bearing on real life events, and, consequently, you controlling it would have 0, too. It will be a sad day for the fandom moral police when/if this fact finally registers with them, but hopefully it comes sooner rather than later.
I love Hannibal Lecter. I do not revel in the real pain inflicted by real serial killers, nor do I wish to marry one and become their accomplice to experience some “real thrills”. I love a good action movie. I would not cheer anybody who guns down a bunch of people in 2 seconds for real, not even in the name of “justice.” I do not dance on the graves of real life gun violence victims or all those fallen in the line of duty, either. My #1 show is still The Man in the High Castle and I like Obergruppenführer Smith a lot. I detest real nazis and everything they stood/stand for. I neither deny nor rejoice in the real horrors and atrocities committed by these so-called people, either.
I like Petyr bc I like well-crafted, layered, dysfunctional, maladapted, “ill” characters. He is an excellent subject and I love exploring/toying w/ him to my heart’s content in the safety of fiction. I like Petyr bc he is portrayed by an actor I personally find v talented and attractive, so there is a craft-specific and an aesthetic component in play as well. I like Petyr bc he is also a welcome source of levity in an otherwise bleak atmosphere. btw Petyr is a survivor, too, just not the most sympathetic one, so I suppose it is easy to ignore this aspect to the character while one is busy persecuting his fans for being Horrible Human Beings.
Most importantly, I like Petyr bc I like Petyr. I’m sorry but I do not owe anybody a dissertation (despite sorta already having written one), my medical history, or my life story in exchange for some seal of approval on this interest.
As for having sympathy and respect for real survivors, that’s why the tags are there - both character and ‘ship. Anybody who has reservations about this content (which I understand) and/or is triggered by it can and should filter it. It’s their responsibility, not mine. I haven’t disabled the “unfollow” or “block” functions, either. I never change my username, so you can tumblr savior it for good measure, too.
I like Petyr. I am not Petyr, and I don’t believe I glorify his character or his relationships, either, or advertise them as sth “normal”. The books don’t. The show doesn’t. If that’s not sufficient, again, I understand, and that’s when those curating tactics mentioned above can and should be utilized.
Bottom line(s):
I do not force anybody to keep looking at this blog or embrace my interests as their own.
You control your content, not mine, and it will create a win-win situation.
My love for fictional sick fucks is not an endorsement of real life sick fucks.
My interests are not meant to be internalized as personal attacks on real ppl bc they are not.
the end
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Notes for Storming the Castle, Chapter 4
Hello again, my dear AkaFuri readers! These notes are kind of long since I rambled on and on about Disney movies because I’m me. (And now after this chapter everyone knows why I put Disney movies in the Ao3 tags! //laughs)
So we’ll start with the Disney stuff, then I mention a few things about Akashi’s sexuality in the fic, and then the usual cultural notes. (Plus the real-life inspiration for the last scene!) Also as a reminder, I have a Pinterest board with photos that helped inspire the first half of the story.
(Cut for me being an incurable Disney nerd, plus notes about sexuality, love hotels, Japanese convenience stores, and other things!)
On The Disney Movies
I should probably feel bad about putting so many Disney references in a fic. //laughs (I’ve been Disney obsessed since I was little, and I wish I could pretend I grew out of it, but I really, really didn’t). But it seemed like a fitting way to bring up the lighter side of fairy tales, since that’s a major theme in the story.
It’s also worth mentioning that Disney stuff is a popular obsession in Japan! There’s Tokyo Disneyland, tons of great Disney stores, you get the idea. I’ve also seen a few Japanese dubs of the movies, which are excellent. <3
I didn’t plan to go into so much detail, but I wanted to try to make the movie references as accessible as I could. And if you haven’t seen the films, I do recommend them because I am a sappy dork. I chose them to match the story, and hopefully to create some interesting parallels to both Akashi and Furihata.
So first, The Little Mermaid! Random fact: This was the first movie I ever saw in a theater. (Also one of my first memories! I was three.) The songs are great, and it’s an interesting take on the fairy tale. But mostly I just thought it would be kind of funny that Furihata would like a movie about a redhead who has issues with a super-strict father and a hard time fitting in with normal humans, because of course you would Furi. (I mean Ariel was basically the reason all of us 90’s kids were in love with supernaturally red hair, right...? No? Just me? //shutting up now)
(… I would absolutely read a fic about merman Akashi trying to comb his hair with a fork though, I don’t know how that would even be in character BUT I’D READ IT. XD)
And if you haven’t seen the film before or want a trip down memory lane, here are some YouTube clips of parts I mentioned in the fic! The opening, Fathoms Below, has beautiful atmosphere. Part of Your World is Ariel’s most famous song, and I pretty much ripped off the reprise of the song in Akashi’s dream sequence so let’s all crack up together about that visual, haha. I think Poor Unfortunate Souls is one of the best villain songs ever, and of course Kiss The Girl is famous and adorable (and you can see how it ends if you didn’t already know, or you forgot!).
As for Cinderella, it’s so iconic that I feel like I don’t really have to say much about it... I did briefly mention the scene with Cinderella getting ready in the morning, which is pretty well-known (also I want you all to really imagine Akashi and Furihata watching a movie where the mice all sing in those tiny high voices together), but the main thing I wanted to link is the fairy godmother’s song! It is precious and iconic and absolute NONSENSE and I will now always think of Akashi cracking up when I watch it. //laughs I also quoted the song with Cinderella and her prince, So This Is Love, which has gorgeous scenery.
And last but not least, Beauty and the Beast! For some reason I’ve had in mind for a VERY long time that Akashi only saw this Disney movie when he was a kid. (I wrote a really silly GoM fic about my headcanons for all their favorite Disney movies back in 2015, but never got around to posting it. //laughs). In any case, hopefully I made it obvious enough in the chapter why I think it’s an Akashi sort of story. (Because of course in an AkaFuri fic Akashi’s Disney crush would be a book-loving brunette who’s off in their own little world, right? Pfft.) Also, full warning, this chapter won’t be the last time I include a painfully obvious homage to this movie… I apologize in advance. xD
Anyway, one of my favorite parts is the prologue! That chiming music is so epic, and the art is breathtaking. And of course Belle’s opening song in the village is brilliant. Those two clips show off the scenery well, which ties in closely to why I referenced it in the fic. The song Something There is a great example of the way the romance develops. And I could ramble on and on, but those were the main things I referenced, so that’s probably sufficient. //laughs
… Okay and also can we just agree that all happy-ending kisses should end in a magical firework explosion? Yes? Yes. (I may or may not be planning to write a scene kind of like it for, um, a certain fic that isn’t this one… And now everyone will know my not-so-secret influences. //cough)
And if you happen to be in a Disney mood now, I’ll also link a countdown I found of the top 20 best Disney endings, which includes almost all of my favorite Disney films/some sadly underrated ones! (My personal favorites will always be #13 and #7, but I could not agree more about the top five rankings, because I am a Disney Renaissance kid. <3)
On Akashi’s Sexuality in the Series
I mentioned this a while ago, but now might be a good time to mention it again! In my AkaFuri series, Akashi is on the asexual spectrum, but I haven’t used the specific term for his identity in the fic. Partly because this fic takes place when those terms were even less commonly known (back in 2010, which is only a few years after I first came across AVEN, so the idea would have been even less familiar in Japan), and partly because he hasn’t fully discovered this about himself yet.
One of the reasons I started writing this series was that I wanted to try to capture how it feels when you haven’t completely figured out your sexuality yet. That was pretty normal among my friends and I when we were sixteen, for a lot of different reasons. (Furihata will be having a similar experience in the series too, which I’ll get into later!) Anyway, I’ll be exploring these issues in more detail in the next fic in the series, but since this chapter does mention some of the feelings Akashi has been struggling with, I thought it would be good to clarify.
On College Kids in Japan in Relationships
I had a lot of fun writing the scene where Furihata’s brother sneaks back into the house, and since it loosely references an aspect of modern Japanese culture, I should probably mention that here…
It’s not too uncommon for university students in Japan—and other young people in their twenties—to still live with their families. Which means that for the ones in relationships, it can be hard to find some (ahem) private time, especially since living spaces are often crowded and PDAs are discouraged. So it’s very normal for young people in Japan to go out to places like love hotels with their significant others…
… And that’s basically what I was implying, when it comes to where Furihata’s brother snuck off to. //laughs That’s also the context of Furihata’s mother’s lecture, and I tried to capture some of the Japanese norms about sex there as well. It’s tricky to explain how they differ from Western norms, because they’re not more “conservative” or “liberal” exactly, just different. (And they vary a lot depending on the person and what generation they’re from!)
But basically, to sum up, I was hoping to convey that Furihata’s mother isn’t upset about what Furihata’s brother is doing per se, it’s more that she’s worried about him being responsible and “appropriate” while he’s doing it. My impression is that it’s unusual that a parent would broach the subject like she does--but hopefully it’s clear that this is a part of her character. Similar to how she dealt with events in Chapter Three. (And that’s also why a character like Akashi is very embarrassed to have overheard it, poor kid. xD)
Also! For those of you who are 18+, if you want to learn more about the cultural context of love hotels in Asian countries, and what they’re like (answer: epic) I love this comic that sums it up. (The comic isn’t explicit, BUT it’s hosted on a webcomic site—that I personally love—that features 18+ comics about sex ed and sex toy reviews. So please be aware, the ads and some of the site’s illustrations are explicit! And very inclusive, sex-positive and awesome.)
On Elementary School Uniforms
I also wanted to briefly mention one of the cultural tropes in Furihata’s family photos! Japanese elementary students wear bright yellow hats when they walk to school, as a way to make them more visible to prevent accidents.
On Conbinis
This is basically just a note to say that I love Japanese convenience stores. //laughs They’re everywhere, everyone uses them, and the major chains are extremely competitive. So they’re often open around the clock, their services are amazing, and their food is delicious.
Also, here’s a random fact! Kit Kats are hugely popular in Japan, and they have all kinds of unusual and regional flavors, including green tea and wasabi and sweet potato. (Yes, really.) The trend started because of a pun in Japanese that made them a popular good-luck gift to give to exam students. Now they’re so well loved that they even have fancy chocolatier stores that sell ultra-fancy Kit Kats because… Because Japan, that’s why. XD
(Also when I post this chapter, I’m rewarding myself by ordering some hojicha Kit Kats from Amazon, because roasted tea flavored Kit Kats from Kyoto are you serious of course I want that in my mouth.)
On the Inspiration for the Walk with Furi’s Dad
I also wanted to make sure I mentioned one of my biggest inspirations for this fic! Which is that when my sister studied abroad in Japan, she stayed with an amazing host family near Hiroshima.
I’ll never forget all her stories about what it was like, but my #1 favorite is that she was awake one morning and her host dad invited her to come on a walk with him… At which point he put the family cat in a harness and they went out and walked the cat. (Maybe that’s more common in some countries, but at least in the U.S., I don’t know anyone who walks a cat? XD) She tells the story a million times better than I do, but the gist of it is that they wandered around this ultra-tiny parking lot for a few minutes and he showed her the strawberries in their garden and it was adorable and a little strange and the best thing ever. <3
I didn’t have Furihata’s dad walk a cat in the fic, sadly enough! (I decided it would be kind of distracting… Also, the Furihatas don’t technically have a cat in canon. //laughs) But I did put a cat in at the end. Partly because everything’s a metaphor, the metaphors are out of control, someone save me from myself. But mostly because I wanted to include a nod to my sister’s host dad and his family, and how much they influenced this story, by being so welcoming to her when she was so far from home. <3
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Wot insurance group is my car its an audi 80 1982?
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ultraviolet [Part 1]
Pairing: Peter Parker x Superhero!Female!Reader
Warnings: Bad description of violence because I’m not very good at it, cussing
Summary: You are a superhero, struggling as any teenager would to balance school life with vigilante justice. When you meet Spiderman, he throws a wrench into your works, informing the government of your existence. You've worked so hard to stay off the radar - will you accept the government's offers, or will you remain a solitary figure?
A/N: Hey! It’s “isactuallyspiderman”/MJ from Quotev. I’m still working on figuring out Tumblr, so please forgive me if the whole formatting thing is wrong/messed up. <3 (gif originally posted by @bnsplmn, by the way)
New York City, New York.
A hotbed for alien attacks and superhero sightings. The world was being avenged from one side of the city and defended from the other. Surely, they didn't need more vigilantes running around with so many people protecting the state.
But you sure as hell weren't going to Jersey.
As you passed by a nearby alley, you heard a shout followed by a cry.
Without a second thought, you made your way into the alley. Sounds of a struggle hit your ears - you cracked your knuckles, violet bolts of energy dancing across your fingers.
Your father was a psychologist, and a good one at that. If he knew his daughter spent her nights fighting small-time criminals, he's probably blow a gasket and try to shrink you.
Oh well.
At least you were making a difference.
Just a few buildings down, Spiderman heard a woman cry out. In a rush to get to find the source of the sound, he shot a web to sling toward the next building.
He miscalculated how high it was, and had to hastily let go of the web to avoid smashing into the side of a building.
Thank God for dumpsters.
He'd fallen into the alley where conflict was arising. From his position in the trash bin, Spiderman could barely see what was going on. A man yelping, a bright purple light, something colliding with the dumpster.
With only a slight flail, Spiderman threw himself out of the dumpster. He immediately dodged, avoiding a punch thrown in his direction. Bewildered, he shot a web at the attacker. It was a girl, whose arm was promptly stuck to a wall.
"Stay right there!" Spiderman demanded.
"You fucking asshole!" She shouted in response, her voice muffled by her mask.
"Now there's TWO of you?" A man groaned, drawing a knife from his jacket. (It matched the one he had in his other hand.) Spiderman's suit beeped, his A.I.'s voice commenting on the situation.
"Peter, be careful. I scanned the man, he has a criminal record."
Spiderman - Peter - shot a web at the guy's feet. "Karen, what about the girl?" He asked, turning to face her.
"What girl, Peter?"
She was gone, only leaving singed webbing in her place.
Peter spun in a circle, trying to find any trace of the girl.
"Karen, did you get a chance to scan her?" He asked, climbing to a nearby roof to get a better vantage point.
"I tried, Peter."
"Tried?"
"She was wearing a mask. All I could see were her eyes, but they were glowing too bright for me to get any kind of retina scan."
Peter rolled onto the roof. He stood, making his way to the edge.
"So, she's gone. And we have no idea where." Peter sighed. His phone chimed, bringing up various blogs and media posts.
"Karen?" Peter asked, flicking through the posts. "What is all of this?"
Peter's eyes settled on a photo - the girl had a glowing shield drawn before her, blocking bullets in an apparent Bronx shoot out.
"I reverse image searched the photos I managed to take of the girl with social media posts. Geotags are always around the Bronx and Hell's Kitchen."
Peter swallowed hard.
"What's she called?"
"Ultraviolet."
---
Peter had left the criminal and called the police instead. He couldn't stop thinking about Ultraviolet, the powers she had, and who she might be. She worked in dangerous places - nearly all of the photos Karen had shown him were geotagged in the bad parts of town.
She was dangerous. It was Peter's duty as a hero to stop her.
---
You flopped onto your bed, rolling about until you had sufficiently wiggled out of your pants. You stood to change into pajamas, listening intently for your father's footsteps. He was a busy man, and wasn't often awake after ten P.M.
You checked the time on your phone. 2 A.M. You were safe.
You were tired, and had school in the morning. You couldn't shake the feeling that you'd seen that Spiderkid somewhere before tonight. With a huff, you slid your private laptop out from under your nightstand to do some research.
---
You regretted staying up so late when you woke at six the following morning. You hadn't gotten to bed until nearly four-thirty - you'd been distracted from your research for about an hour. You started out on a video clip of the Spiderkid on YouTube, which led to other viral video clips, and before you knew it, you were watching obviously fake ghost sightings.
You dressed in dark jeans and a striped top. It was the exact same thing you'd worn yesterday afternoon, but you didn't have the energy to grab clothes that weren't on your floor.
Mondays sucked.
You grabbed your backpack and left your bedroom, entering the open living room in the large apartment you called your home. Your dad was awake already, sipping at his steaming coffee.
"Ow," He hissed, taking another sip. "Ow!"
You chuckled. "Stop drinking it if it's so hot." You snarked playfully as you grabbed a bottle of water from the fridge.
"But I want to drink it." Dad whined in return. The two of you laughed. It was kind of sad, at least /you/ thought it was, that your dad was your best friend.
Well, one of your two best friends.
"Are you meeting that boy again?" Dad asked. You rolled your eyes.
"You know his name, he's been my best friend since eighth grade."
"I know. Are you meeting Peter for breakfast?" He asked. You nodded. "Yeah, he bought me lunch on Friday so I'm buying breakfast today."
Dad hummed.
"Well, you should leave soon if you're going to meet him somewhere."
You scoffed. "It's barely 6:15, he won't be up for another thirty minutes."
---
Peter didn't wake up for another hour.
He muttered child-friendly curses as he yanked on the same clothes he wore yesterday, ignoring the wrinkles plaguing his sweater.
Mondays sucked.
Peter grabbed his backpack and his wallet, entering the living room. He crawled over the couch, flopping onto it as he was too lazy to walk around.
"I was wondering when you'd wake up." May spoke from the tiny kitchen.
"My alarm didn't set," Peter rubbed his face with his sweater sleeves. "And I was supposed to meet (Y/N) early for breakfast."
"She came by. She said she'd wait for you in the lobby, if you ever woke up."
Peter groaned, rolling off the couch to head to the lobby. Hopefully (Y/N) hadn't left yet. "I'll see you later, Aunt May!" He hollered over his shoulder.
You were still in the lobby.
"How long have you been here?" Peter asked, bumping shoulders with you as the both of you left the building.
"Only ten minutes. I took my time because you didn't send me a good morning Snap." You smirked.
"Aw, fudge." Peter's shoulders slumped.
"What?"
"I left my phone in the apartment."
---
The two of you stopped at a cafe and grabbed breakfast to go, eating as you walked and talking while you ate.
"So," Peter coughed, choking on his breakfast. "You didn't get much sleep either?"
You shook your head. "No, I had more research to do for my English assignment." You lied.
The school gates were still open, despite it being ten minutes past the tardy bell.
"Are you sure you're okay with being late?" Peter felt bad about making you late.
"Yeah. If they make a fuss about it, I'll send Dad after them. He'll therapy them until the tardy is gone."
Peter chuckled.
"Did you just use 'therapy' as a verb?"
"Shut up, Parker."
You both entered the school, unaware that you'd spent part of the night together.
---
Additional A/N: This looks so weird on Tumblr! It’s also a fairly old chapter, and my writing has already improved so much since this that it’s almost cringy, haha. Seeing as this is my first post on here but I’m already on chapter 6 on Quotev, I’ll be posting ch. 1-5 tonight. If you see this and want to be on a tag list, send me a message and I’ll make a list for next time. <3
#fanfiction#fanfic#my writing#imagine#peter parker#spiderman#spider-man#tom holland#peter parker x reader#tom holland x reader#spiderman x reader#spider-man x reader#avengers#spiderman: homecoming#marvel#ultraviolet
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