#okay guys. I'm gonna go reread The Iliad

[beskar33]

More ranting about my cringe little gay ass stories sorryyy

Why I'm hesitant to post the majority of my BoBev writing despite yapping about it constantly is because after years of just drafting scenes I liked to think about and being really autistic about SW, most of it kind of became an interconnecting, very much still ongoing story that could honestly fill a book. And I've had a LOT of fun poring over useless lore and pulling my hair out over wikis and schematics for hours to challenge myself to make it feel like it could actually fit somewhere into the existing universe while also weaving in my own ideas and being written in my own style, without any of the limitations that an official SW author would have.

I'm also really autistic about Greek classics and there's nothing I love more than reading or writing like 700 pages about a person's whole fucking life wrapped in hubris and bloodshed and tragedy.

BoBev has been my number one comfort project for years where it really is just for me and I never intended for anyone else to even know about it at first. It's my little practice arena for stylization or themes I've never explored in other writing. It's also one of my fave places to daydream lol.

So that's led to a lot of it being...not very interesting to the average reader 💔 a lot of scenes I had SO much fun writing require so much prior context that they lose the flow or effect when posted by themselves. Bev has like 30+ years worth of lore that has nothing to do with Boba. He's a self-insert, but also is fully his own person with his own storyline that's distanced from shipping because that's not what he was originally created for, if that makes any sense.

The couple of things I've shared on here are cuts from the story or rough versions of scenes that I've since rewritten or tweaked a hundred times lol.

And I'll be honest; I'm really, REALLY afraid to bore everyone with massive lore dumps or whatever lol. I cringe at myself a lot when I think about how much time I've sunk into a project that's so stupidly self-indulgent instead of working on fully original drafts I might actually be able to publish someday.

Idk. All this to say that a lot of selfship fic writers on here are just so fuckin good at writing fluffy scenes where the blorbos kiss and that's that! Or like...a normal length story that's easy to read or get into even if I don't know much about the characters or world. I'm envious of that! My brain doesn't work that way. It's a completely different skill set that I actually struggle with because I just want to build and build until I'm neck-deep in a whole novel. I hate to feed y'all scraps, but I guess because this project is so close to my heart, I'm insecure that the quality doesn't come close to the effort I put into it. And very aware that the way I write fics in general is not what most people on here are interested in! So I post stuff I know for a fact isn't my best to kind of cushion myself against the criticism or the awkwardness of posting the most boring passion project ever worked on...

Hello? Hello? It's so dark in here.