#okay first of all theres a link hidden in the text

[join-the-joywrite]

Hamish & Vera soulmate au headcannons

Here's another first words au, but with some key elements suggested by a literal ball of sunshine and a source of incredible joy for me

So anyway, I spent a ridiculous amount of time thinking about this one and whether to do it as a non-magic/knight au or stick somewhat to cannon before finally coming to a decision -- and I'm not even sure it was a good decision sksnsjwn. Geronimo!

You're born with a tattoo on your arm, the first words your soulmate says to you.

Vera's born with her arm bare. After searching the rest of her, the midwife confirmed that no, the baby girl has no markings at all, no shrunken words that will grow to readable when she grows, no hidden words tattooed where everyone else's wasn't. It was believed that perhaps her soulmate hadn't been born as yet. That happened, right? Soulmates could change, right? It didn't mean she'd be alone for the rest of her life, right?

Vera grew up with the lack of a soulmate being a key factor to how people saw her. Other kids didn't bother with her because who wants to be friends with the girl who doesn't even have a soulmate? Vera hardens up from a very young age, pissed at everyone around her for trying to dictate her life and her choices around a stupid tattoo.

So what if she didn't have a single word etched on her body? It wasn't going to stop her from living a full and happy life. Vera's happy little life is shattered the day she tells her boyfriend she's pregnant and she never hears from him again.

But that's okay. It's not like he was her soulmate, the one person who was supposed to be with her no matter what. It's okay. She'll be fine. She'll manage.

Vera's very last bits of positivity and hope dies with her daughter. The world sucks and everyhting in it sucks worse. Bitterness starts to grow, from being born with her skin bare to realising that she was going to have to look out for herself always. Alone.

If she can't have people and love in her life, she's going to have a name and money. So she goes after it like a moth to a flame. She throws everything that she is into her studies, makes sure she gets all the right grades. She studies people, too. She knows when to smile, when to laugh, when to tear up. She knows what to do to get reactions she wants.

Vera learns how to dominate a conversation and she knows how to always seem like the most intelligent person in the room. She's yet to meet anyone who sees through her pretty lies.

Hamish is young. He's planned to get into law and he's convinced he's going to be the best out there. The only thing he's not certain about is the fact that the words on his wrist reads "oh shit-fuck you're sorry I'm hot"

He's hoping it's a misunderstanding of some kind.

It's his second or third month on campus and he's walking with his nose in a textbook when he collides with another book-sniffer, only Hamish meets the ground and decides to lay there for a minute.

The girl he bumped into quickly starts mumbling curses to herself as she gathers up her book, then his. "Oh, shit-fuck," she says when she realises he's still laying on the floor. He squints in the sunlight. "You're sorry, I'm hot."

There is a brief pause. "I mean! I'm sorry, you're hot! Wait, that's not much better."

Hamish laughs. "That -- that makes a lot of sense."

"Wut?"

Hamish accepts her hand up and shows her his wrist. She gets excited when she realises it. She starts talking about how she's wondered for so long what the hell could've possibly been said to warrant the words on her wrist.

A minute and a half later she realises she hasn't actually introduced herself yet.

It's a few months later, maybe four or five, when Hamish visits Cassie at the den instead of the usual places -- the bar, the grounds, his apartment, her dorm, even a few classes. The guy she's staying with, Nico, introduces himself as Cassie's brother.

"I didn't know you had a brother." "I don't. He just drinks my beer and passes out somewhere in here. Anyway, Nico, this is Hamish."

"So, you're the little shit that's got all my sister's attention." "I would hope so."

Nico takes to Hamish immediately. He thinks Hamish is hilarious and a really great person. Nico pressures Cassie into telling Hamish about the Knights. Eventually, she chooses to listen and the two of them take Hamish down to the hide locker.

"There's three hides in there. Silverback, Tundra, and Greybeard. Good luck."

Tundra's the one that chooses Hamish and it just feels so wonderful to have a family -- a pack.

Nico is the first to die. Cassie is devastated. Even Hamish, who'd only known Nico a month, maybe two at best, is struck hard by it. Nico goes out protecting the pack -- as Midnight often does.

For a long time, it's just Cassie and Hamish. The den gets really quiet and on those days, they sit just as quiet, lost in their thoughts. Cassie rarely ever speaks to anyone but Hamish. He's the only person that could even begin to understand how she feels about losing Nico. Despite all her talk, she loved him as one loves family.

It's almost a year later when Hamish becomes the only Knight.

Hamish stops talking. He never asks questions in class anymore. He never answers any either. Cassie was his whole world. He loved her more than anything or anyone in his life. He should have been there. But she'd wanted to go alone. She said she could handle it. She couldn't and Hamish sat alone, toasting to Cassie's life by himself as he looked at the lockers.

Do you know that feeling when you're just so fucking hurt and sad, that even opening your mouth to breathe is exhausting? It takes so much energy to speak. Why even speak? Who's going to listen? Do you know that hollow feeling after you've cried for what feels like hours? That emptiness that follows when you realise that what you had is truly gone and you are never going to get it back?

Hamish hasn't felt any different since Cassie died.

Hamish doesn't look at his wrist anymore. He's certain by now the words have faded. He can't look because looking means he'll see the blank wrist and seeing his blank wrist means Cassie is really truly gone.

Hamish drops out of law school and picks up something else. Something that requires less talking. Somewhen along the line, a TA position for a lecturer of his opens up. Hamish ignores it.

Hamish has been at Belgrave for three years and Vera for seven when they finally collide. Literally. Hamish recognises her. She's some super smart final year student or something. He's pretty sure she's trying to take over the university and he's pretty sure no one's going to get in the way trying to stop her.

He means to apologise but like every other opportunity he's faced with, the words don't make it past his throat.

"Fuck this bullshit," Vera says to herself before deciding she wants to relax on the grass for just a moment. The busy life can wait a while. She glances at the tower of a man. "Don't make me look like an idiot, get down here."

Hamish doesn't know why he sits. But when he does, he realises it's quite peaceful.

"You're not much of a talker, are you?" Hamish shakes his head. "Can't or won't?"

Hamish opens his mouth slightly, inhales, then closes his mouth. He turns his head the other way.

"Won't, I see. That's fine. Some quiet is welcome."

They lay on the grass for a few minutes, avoiding the sun in the shade of a large tree. The grass is soft, the air is light, the shade is cool. For the first time in what feels like forever, both of them feel peaceful.

"This is nice." Hamish nods. "I'd love to do it again. Here." Hamish frowns at the phone she hands him. "Put your number in. Even if you won't talk, I'm sure you can text, right?"

Hamish nods slowly.

Three days later, he gets a message: I need to rest but there are too many other students and I don't want to look like a lonely loser. Followed by a location link.

They lay on the grass until Hamish has to go to class.

Hamish doesn't visit the bar anymore because he can't go in there without seeing Cassie and Nico. Both are equally bad. He didn't deserve Nico's sacrifice. He was supposed to look after Cassie for Nico. Vera doesn't visit the bar because there are too many people in there and she'd really rather not get distracted by another breathing thing.

But she goes to the library and there's Hamish, sitting alone, head in a book. Vera takes the books she needs and sits across him. She doesn't say thing. She doesn't need to. Hamish usually drowns out the sounds in the library, but theres something soothing about the rhythmic clacking of the keys on Vera's laptop and the odd turn of a page when she pays attention to the book beside it.

It's almost thirty minutes later when she nudges his foot under the table and turns the laptop to him. In a bright pink font at the top of her essay is: Check for me, please?

Hamish can't help the small grin of amusement as he sets his book down and pulls the laptop towards him. Vera reaches over and pages through Hamish's book, making sure not to loose his bookmark.

They do this often. So often, that they've learnt each other's schedules without even realising. Sometimes Vera will go to that spot under the tree and pull out her phone to text Hamish, only to already see him approaching. Sometimes Hamish walls into the library wondering if perhaps, he should send Vera a message, but she's already there, working on some assignment or something with a deep frown on her face that vanishes when he sits down.

Hamish is walking Vera to class one day and she says, "You know, for a guy who doesn't talk, you sure find a way to say a lot of things." Hamish is confused because he's literally never said a single word to her. "Ex-girlfriend?" she asks, pointing to Cassie's favourite ring on a chain around his neck. Nico had given it to her for her birthday but he'd got it a size too small so she wore it on a chain. Hamish looks away. Vera studies him. ".... dead . . . girlfriend?"

Hamish nods very slowly.

"Oh. I'm sorry. Hey, have you ever been to a PR Management class? You'll like the lecturer. Come on."

The next time Vera is walking him to his class, he pauses before the door, holding a hand out to her. "Psychology 212, why not?" Vera spends the entire lesson drawing flowers on the back of Hamish's hand.

It's that night, when he's sitting at the den, that he looks at his hand. The flowers are already fading away, but they're so pretty. For the first time in years, he turns his arm over. He kind of hopes to see his wrist blank, because he's starting to really like Vera and he doesn't want to stay hung up on Cassie. It wouldn't be fair to Vera.

His wrist isn't blank. Instead, clear as day, the ink reads: Don't make me look like an idiot, get down here

Hamish's phone rings. Had Vera's name not been flashing, he wouldn't have answered.

"I know you won't say anything but I need someone to talk to. Someone who'll listen." And then Vera tells him about her day. Even if he did plan to respond, Vera didn't even pause for a breather. She tells him about this stupid professor that was hitting on her and she tells him how she thought about kicking him in the nuts but the classroom still had a few other students and she didn't want to gain a violent reputation. She tells him about how she went to the library to study but some fucker stole her desk. She tells him all sorts of trivial things. And then she starts. She's tired. She's exhausted. Not to mention, being in the Order is hard work and that's the one thing she's not going to tell Hamish about. She doesn't want that sweet innocent boy tangled up in the Order's drama and danger. But she tells him how everything else is weighing on her and she's set impossibly high standards for herself and people expect her to meet them and she's just tired. "I'm going to send you an address. Please come."

When Hamish ultimately decides to go, he isn't sure what to expect, but it certainly isn't five boxes of pizza, four two-litre bottles of soda, two wine bottles, and a list of three movies to choose from.

"I'm breaking up with my degree" Vera says when she answers the door. Hamish nods. Yeah, he can see that. Hamish doesn't think he's ever seen Vera in sweats and with her hair untidy. "You gonna help me eat all this or stand in the doorway forever?"

They end up watching all three movies. Vera says she'll clean up when the sun comes up. She burrows into her blanket and curls up against Hamish. "As far as first dates go, this was kinda nice."

Everything gets easier. They know where to find each other. Vera's even learnt to speak Hamish. She says she's naming the language after him because no one else can speak with the strange gestures and eye movements. Hamish thinks she's adorable.

In the second semester, they share a class. Hamish is taking it for the degree he's currently doing and Vera's taking it for credits and because Hamish is. They cheated on almost that entire exam because no one realised they were communicating.

It's a quiet day on Vera's couch when Hamish shows her his wrist. "Isn't that what I said when. . ."

Vera shows him her bare wrist. He kisses her forehead and pulls her close. She smiles. It doesn't bother him.

She tells him about her daughter one day. She doesn't even need him to say anything. Just knowing that he's still sitting with her, still holding on to her, is enough.

They're watching some movie. Well, neither of them are actually watching it. Hamish has Vera in his lap, his chin on her shoulder. Both are watching Vera's thumb make small circles on her bare wrist. Hamish kisses her cheek. The first words out his mouth since Cassie are a soft whisper against Vera's ear. "I love you."

And Vera watches the words ink themselves into her wrist, clear as day. It wasn't that she didn't have a soulmate. It was just that hers didn't speak. Until now. She turns halfway to kiss him. "I love you, too."

And we're going to stop there because the next bit is cannon territory and we all know I'll probably handle that with angst :)

Part 2

@gingersimasnapsandvermishthings I kinda got u sis

See the other soulmate aus that kept me awake at night until I wrote them down

[ongnable]

Okay I think I need your help! I started following Wanna One few weeks ago and I don't know what to watch to know them better! (I discovered them after being forced by my friend to watch Master Key 😂) so yeah I went around YouTube but if you can direct me to "worthy" content I'll be glad! ((especially with Ong cause it was kinda love at first sight 💕)) thanks and love your blog ✨✨✨

Ong being loved is honestly such a mood

I’ll put everything in order so it’s easy to go through, and list mainly the OT11 stuff + links to eng sub! ^^

M/Vs

Energetic

Burn It Up

Beautiful (Movie ver.)this is not the full version which is almost 15 minutes long (and i’m still salty about the unequal screen-time); to fully understand the story - watch the ’prologue’ too!

Beautiful (Perf. ver.)

I Promise You (I.P.U.)a personal favourite; it’s honestly such a blessing for soft stans!

Boomerang

Shows (2017-8)

Broduce –is definitely more than ‘worthy’ since we not only got to meet W1 in their pre-debut states, but also a bunch of talented boys/men. I think that the main reason our ‘core’ fandom is so strongly bound is mainly because of PD101 and how well you get to know them since it’s filmed over such a long period. you can only fall deeper in love, and appreciate their hard work more and more each time you (re-)watch broduce~

Mnet Present –this was kind of an ‘intro to W1′ type of thing from Mnet before unveiling Energetic, but it’s kinda precious how you can tell that the boys were still a little awkward with some of the others they didn’t perform with during broduce and how being in W1 still hasn’t really hit them since it was filmed before they started promotions. not a must-watch but it’s lovely to look back on.

Wanna One Go S1 –season 1 only has 2 episodes, but it quenched the thirst for content before they’re debut! XD if you’ve seen the legendary ongniel date gifs, this is where it’s from!! the boys were paired with their ‘main ships’ from back in Broduce. This is also where we were first introduced to the legend that is Sungwoon’s grandpa!

Return of Superman! 194-195 –not OT11, but i love boys that play well with kids, so it can’t be helped XD be prepared to melt into a puddle of goo watching the kids play with mom-Jisung, the uncles, and big bro-Jihoonie~

Weekly Idol 315-316 –gave birth a myriad of inside jokes (including the X-thigh dance which brought out all the Nu’est W x W1 broduce feels). Daehwi also cemented his status as a girl group dance machine whilst the boys were just their normal meme-worthy selves

Happy Together (510-512) (521-522) (531-?)–this wasn’t OT11, but there are sooo many moments from HT (Minhyun’s text-hwang status and Ongniel making headlines for their ‘couple drama’? yaaaas)

Wanna City –Mnet knows that variety shows are very much where W1 belong, so of course between Wanna One Go S1 and S2 we get a lil something special XD Hyung vs. Maknae line interactions are always hilarious, and Ong’s losing streak from Master Key basically begun here X’D If there’s one cut to watch from this it’s ‘Annyeong Cleopatra’! 

Wanna One Go S2 –the one true mecca of W1-variety. the ‘must-watch’! if theres one thing on the list to watch it’s W1 Go S2!! Most of the gifs/moment videos you’ll see floating around will be from this~

Amigo TV –just the boys being their normal memey-selves with a lot of food involved!! (Dan was busy with It’s Dangerous Outside of the Blankets while this was filmed - which is also a must-watch for soft-Dan)

Outrageous Roommates –only ongnielhwan, but since you like Ong I’m rec-ing this!!!! Justice League team interactions are my fav and when you put the ultimate comedic trio of W1 together with other hilarious people (aka. Yook joongwan from Rose Motel); it’s just a great ‘feel good’ show to watch after a long day!

Other OT11 shows:I Can See Your Voice (OT11) // SNL (personally not a fan of SNL, i just get loads of second-hand embarrassment from their skits >

A few other recent shows with Ong:K-RUSH // Radio Star // Hello Counselor

Comeback-shows (+ debut)

1x1=1 (To Be One) Premier Showcon –a legendary debut showcase~ they debuted in Gocheok Sky Dome which is a first! they made history just by debuting

1-1=0 (Nothing Without You) Comeback Show –basically we watch the boys eat at the beginning, do a hidden camera and then we appreciate all the hard work they put into filming Beautiful even though so many of them got so little screen-time T^T

0+1=1 (I Promise You) Comeback Show –another bts of m/v filming as all comeback shows require~ W1 also prepared an event for fans (even tho Ong was Mc-ing and unable to attend the same time as others); which was super super sweet. Also- Wanna One karaoke + more Sungwoon’s adorable grandpa! XD

Other Performances

A Summer Story x Nayanahonestly speaking I’m not the biggest fan of this mix, but it’s OT11 and they looked really cute and the summery outfits suited them well since it was reminiscent of their 1x1 album Pink ver. outfits ~

Jaehwan’s Immortal Song Perfs (20170930) (20171118) –I have a weak spot for rocker!Jaehwan so I personally like the November perf more, but Mnet likes promoting ballad!Jaehwan >

“Comes And Goes” - Terius (aka. Hwang Minhyun) –woop, the mask fooled no one, naver blew up as soon as this ep (and the ep before) aired cuz everyone knew if was Minhyun X’D it’s even funnier because Daniel was on the panel!

La Dolce Vita –is a recent cover they did on Sugarman 2, and to me it is definitely worth watching if for nothing but them saying ‘señorita’

[yuichiroe]

So this is going to address everything i have been accused of by @yuichrio in the past. Some of this will be me debunking and some of this will be me blatantly admitting to stuff i have done wrong. Im going to be using screenshots from yuus post about me. 

Theres going to stalking mentions and suicide mentions and for a vrief moment there is a drug mention  so be wary of that. Here is the original post abouit me

Lets just start from the beginning of their post abt me

apparently this started in 2015 shortly after i had broken up with yuu. it was a very messy breakup that i dont want to get into.

he claims that after i had broken up with him, i started using his typing style and started iding as ciel out of no where (which he had ided as at the time)

He uses this as proof/context of me taking his format/style

i will not be commenting on this as i cannot really... remember much from 2015 and maybe i had an unearthly grudge against him back then but honestly i cant say much bc i cant remember.

then he fast fowards to 2017

like he says in the post, me and him were on ok terms by this time. he says he has no idea i had even been following him until one of his friends told him i was following him. i had been following yuu for a long time on vent and after a while i knew it was him but never directly approached him or really even interacted with him much because i had no ill feelings regarding him at the time and didnt care to start anything with him. 

anyways back in january, yuu attempted to commit suicide(im only bringing this up because he did). and a week later, i list yuichiro hyakuya on my me page. he’s ided as yuu for a very long time, and anyone whos been mutuals with him for a while will know that. He made a post abt it on ig and he has addressed my responses to the post.

Here, i say i have been hiding that id for about a month. which right here, that was a lie. i had just started iding as yuichiro.. probably a few days ago. But, under that where i say i had been questioning for a few months is very true. they get dms from their friend of a hidden account i made when i ided as not yuu but mika. 

so to explain, his friend showed him a secret account in which i ided as mika. i tagged myself in art of mika and my boyfriend at the time as yuichiro. Let me explain this in the best way possible since all the other times i had tried to explain, yuu either interrupted me or kept refuting with ‘LOL U HAVENT BEEN QUESTIONING FOR MONTHS’. i had. i had tried to get into owari no seraph many times before this happened. no one has to believe my word on this, and since i have no proof, this can totally be disregarded. i didnt want to id as yuu at first because i actually liked having yuu as a friend. he was a nice mutual. i also didnt want to start petty kin drama with him either. i knew he’d blow up on me. so, i ided as mika instead for a few days. i wanted to see if it would feel like an okay coping id as thats what i thought yuichiro would only be if i decided to id as him. i dont remember if i was planning on sbing him at the time because his boyfriend ids as mika and i knew he’d still be uncomf but i didnt know if he’d blow up. in turn, i made a secret kin account to try and see if iding as mika felt right. Obviously, seeing how most of my identity revolves around yuichiro, it didnt. i had to drop the id within two days because it never felt like me.

this is why it was posted on the same day. you can write this off as bullshit, but this is my explanation.

he now says despite me being white, i went by yuu. which is entirely my bad. i have since then used yuu as an alternate name which isnt something i ever should have done. Now here is where things get Messy.

so here i am, giving frustrated and annoyed responses. this is because he was so intent on me trying to steal his identity and be him. And by now ‘identity’ doesnt just mean me iding as yuichiro. he claims that i have stolen traces of his personality and maybe even his personality as a whole.  This whole situation here can be refuted with the above ‘questioning’ explanation. i had lied about me being yuu for a few months, but the questioning argument still stands as that was 100% the truth.

when he addressed this, i acted out of anger and annoyance and insulted him and just left my account because at the time, i was 99% sure he  wasnt going to listen to my explanations and were intent on him being right. i wasnt in the right for just abandoning my account without talking this out maturely and just giving sarcastic responses, but this is what happens when im called out on stuff, even if it was true or not. i apologize for sarcastic and aggressive behavior. this probably couldve been avoided if i had just tried to explain myself in a calm manner.

i had moved accounts after this. i would sometimes go back on it to see if yuu was talking shit about me, to which he had eventually found out about and sbed said account. now, he shows dms of me ‘cutting off’ people that do not agree with me and

i am going to shed light on these dms.

this person and i have a bad past in general, they have accused me of things i will not go into now, but to shed light on This situation here, they had been making me uncomfortable for a few week anyways. they said they would support me being mikaela when i admitted to them i was going to id as mika for the time being. then, they turned around on me and sent yuu some stuff that i had told them about me being mikaela as receipts on me. so not only had they made me very uncomfortable, but they had broken my trust in them and i didnt want contact with them anymore. to show why i was uncomfortable with this person, here is a screenshot of them vagueing me on their ig account after we had ‘made up’ for past situations. 

so yeah you can see why i was uneasy in the first place. they were jealous of my bf and i being closer than i was to them. they later apologized, but i didnt completely forgive them as it made me and my bf WILDLY uncomfortable about her. so yeah, them breaking was trust was the last straw and i cut her off. Here is another instance of mecutting someone off that they show

NOW THIS... .Ohhhh h hhhh hhm ygod this is a fucking. Okay. this was my qpp. i had recently broken off from being qpps with him because of his drug addiction. He knew drugs made me uncomfortable and yet he still posted about him being high as hell on sleep meds and texted me about whenever he was fucked up and would always crytype his was out of situations . i would frequently vent about him to my bf at the time and after a while, he got upset about me being closer to my bf than i was to him. (i had only been qpps with him for a few weeks, maybe even less and i had been in a relationship with my boyfriend for over a year and had stronger feelings for him.) i have very little receipts on the shit hes said to me bc i have since blocked him on multiple accounts and do not have access to his vent accounts. him and i had cut ties Multiple times after i broke off being qpps with him, but he kept coming back to me and telling me he loved me which i didnt want to hear anymore. after the drama with yuu (even though he stated 3028534905840958 times that he couldnt hate anyone because it was ‘against his morals’) he posted some Very ugly shit about me.

this is all i can dig up because i think i had deleted most of the screenshots because i hated seeing them in my camera  roll. but there were Many posts like this of him wanting me to kill myself and for craig to leave me.

 he made up shortly after this drama but i didnt accept it or forgive him. 

now, back to the yuu drama.

what edna claimed i copied for the ‘clicky clicky’ thing was on my blog where the links where i put ‘clicky clicky!’ and yuu had that in his links. While it was a petty thing to accuse me of and i have to admit, i didnt copy it from his blog, he did have the same thing on his links.

at this point i was vaguing people on tumblr that were involved in this drama

and i had yuu blocked and i did try to unblock him multiple times at his request, but for some reason on mobile it will not let me unblock people.

heres a screenshot of me being immature and avoiding the problem yet again.

heres a half assed apology from me and after that i left it all alone and so did he.

skipping to march 2017

i requested him on vent out of paranoia and i wanted to know if he had any vent of him talking shit about me. at the time, i went by a different name and had different ids listed but i quickly changed everything back. he got uncomfortable with me very quickly out of paranoia of him thinking i was going to steal is bf from him just because i was friends with him. mika was a sweetheart but i am not a homewrecker + i am 99% sure i was dating someone at the time Lol.....

skip to april 2017

i send another apology to which i later admit it was only to follow them to see if yuu was talking shit... i will get into that later when it comes up again.

here is me ‘admitting’ to everything they have accused me of. this was mostly bs and to try to End this shit. i did get the idea to id as yuu from yuu bc? i wouldnt have really found out abt o////w////ari/// no se///ra///ph at the time if not because of yuu and his bf. i am not going to get into the iding outside of my race thing now. at the time. i had not been trying to separate myself from nonwhite ids as most of them had helped me cope with insecurities and whatnot. as for the abusive tendencies thing, i had showed abusive behavior in the past and will not make up excuses for that and for a long while now, i have been bettering myself in that sense

like i said, the apology was bullshit. but now, i am actually sorry to yuu for saying such nasty shit to him just because i was in the wrong for some things and didnt want to admit it.

tyeah like i said the mika thing was mostly paranoia on their part since i never had any intent on making mika hate yuu or to date them or whatever they thought i was attempting to do. so after that shit was pretty peaceful. until i started iding as ciel.so yuus bf dms me all, ‘i gotta sb you for rn’ and im all ‘ok’ and they both sb me at the same time and now i realize smth was wrong and apparently i did smth and that smth was iding as ciel.... Which let me be honest i forgot that yuu ever ided as ciel since the last time he brought up that id was probably around a few years back a little after we broke up as shown at the top of this. so that shit was left alone but iwas So confused as to why they both sbed me at the time + i was so scared they were spewing hate abt me to their followers so i made a spy account to try to figure out wth even happened. 

i, of course, made it seem like i didnt know what the fuck he was talking abt. but yeah this was me. fast forward to may 10th i had begun iding as yuichiro again as a main id and was gradually getting more and more attached to that id. on vent, i had changed my name to yuichrio and used yuus art as my icon. I had debunked the icon thing as i found it on google, but i knew very well that yuichrio was yuus url. i just wanted the next best thing to yuichiro in all honesty but it was still kinda gross of me to use his url and it kinda dug me into a deeper hole.

here the comparison that yuu made.   They asked me to take down that pfp which i did and then i deleted their comment and blocked them immediately.

now to may 11th

This still makes me uncomfortable that even now they keep up with my new blogs/users even though i have only interacted with them Once since this happened and it was a complete accident. (i followed him last night on accident).

like yuu said himself, this was his weakest argument in this entire thing. maybe i had gotten a few ideas from his links before, but generally, most people do use those things in their links. 

Now i do believe i was reincarnated and i have delusions as well so i  dont know if i am just ... delusional abt being reincarnated or if i am actually am but this is what i believe and like i said, i am not going to delve into spiritual beliefs and i certainly didnt get the idea from yuu. 

this was the only evidence that i had to give to yuu. but i did debunk the icon thing.

yeah things get out of hand again. they had receipts on me and knew i was lying about all this so as soon as they wouldnt believe what i was saying 100%, i was getting to be ... a bad sport lol.

i got passive aggressive towards yuu and 

in turn i started insulting him and blatantly lying again.

“so what sky was saying here is an obvious lie. i mean, theres the fact that i KNOW the request was accepted before this dm started, the 7 hour gap before i replied for them to drink that all in, and the fact that they literally SAID they are following me, right there. so obviously they were aware they were following me and had no reason to make up some random fake “apology”. i still have no clue what their motive was, but it says a lot about the kind of person they are.” yeah this is all vwery true i didnt have to actually apologize as i had already been accepted and i knew very well of that fact.

so here is where he tries to analyze me

heres with the questioning shit again so go back up for that explanation.

Hwre is where i get Angry again and start to just want this situation Over because hes brining up shit i could not refute at the time. 

so after all this, i block yuu once again. this is all that i have on this situation in the posts about me that yuu has made. i have followed yuus accounts many times and in a way you can call that stalking but my reasoning for doing that was to see if he was shit talking me 99.9% of the time. if i had picked up any of yuus personality traits im sorry.  adn i am sorry for being so immature and not admitting to my fault earlier. i want this drama to be 100% done and for this shit to Never happen again i am not going to add onto this post unless yuu himself asks for me to explain some more shit that i hasnt listed. i am sorry to yuu for copying your layouts and for repeatedly stalking your accounts. i want nothing to do with you or this situation anymore after this post.

[thegeminisage]

zelda blogging which is so deeply super spoilery, possible the most spoilery it’s ever been, so if you haven’t THOROUGHLY explored the central-north part of the map DON’T read it

aww some of these gerudo wear glasses! love it

i like the music here too but i kinda wish it had been the same melody from oot ; ;

omg riju is tiny!!! is she still young?!

aww her relationship with buliara is sweet they obviously care about each other a lot

AAAAAH THEY'RE TALKING ABOUT MY SWORD lmao maybe i should have gone to get it after all

oh my god a sand seal that gives you words of wisdom for food

ooh i get a free accessory for giving this lady some flint...hmMmMMmMMmmm

topaz i guess bc i'll probs need lightning protection soon? but no, i'm getting a helm...

haha sapphire to go with link's eyes?

ruby bc the flame armor is the ugliest and i wanna wear something else? LOL

went with sapphire iin the end MAY I NOT REGRET IT...

ooooh i shoulda been saving my gems....Dang

i mean, at least i have the 10k i need for the great fairy, but there's so much cool stuff here and i can't bUY ANY...

ah no i did get some opal and amber earrings :3

swim speed up and the ithers are just extra defense

"apparently the accessory maker and the teacher of the relationship class were both in a tragic love triangle, and now they are both single" nintendo this is an all women society please give me lesbians i BEG of you

ok, i need 1 ruby and 5 topaz to finish buying one of everything here. i'll remember

hahahahaha "you've gotta take your time when selecting gems and voe" wise words, lady

omg i found a bar but im too young to drink. nice, nintendo

lmao you can tell one of the ladies you're over 100 and she doesn't believe you dxkfjhg

ok so the hideout of the yiga clan is apparently to the northwest of here so i get to RIDE A SAND SEAL or surf behind one i guess. tbh im a little worried i'll break all my shields :/

i got a gerudo one that i really like!! goes with my scimitar and golden bow!

aww can i not wear accessories along with normal armor...? that sucks

LOL SEAL PUNS the options when talking to the sand seal lady are full of em im dying

wow i can't get this shrine unless i wind sand seal races which i can't do with the divine beast out LOL

jesus those sandstorms look so huge and terrifying...especially since i know they'll disable my map

i wanna explore but tbh i better just stick to the plot and away from those bad boys

oh JESUS i went to an outpost where they're monitoring the beast and it's. so big. and so loud and big and. so scary. oh my god, it's huge

oh FUCK i got too close and it started targeting me so i ran away and thankfully it stopped...definitely gonna take it easy on the exploration if i can help it

oooh no no no why is the air turning green out here...dnw dnw leave me and my map alone!!

uh, and where is my fucking seal...? i left it right HERE

ugh i had trouble mounting the one from before when i stayed in the monitoring outpost do they like leave if you stay gone a long time...? fml

awww this old gerudo never found the lovers pond ):

ugh i see so much stuff i wanna check out but im too scared to get off the seal for long :/ ESPECIALLY if i get stuck in a storm i'll want a way out

oh wow the air is so hot here even my gerudo outfit is useless

tbh, maybe that's a good thing, if i'm eating food i can wear armor with actual defense...much as i love these clothes they're great for getting your ass kicked

ok no seriously WHY does everyone from the yiga clan drop bananas..............

i know that everyone talks about how cool it is that this game just plops you down in the world and lets you figure it out for yourself without hitting you over the head with the instructions

but i just found a bow and some torches in a circle of lit torches with some obviously flammable banners nearby, so

i found the missing gerudo soldier!

"all i've ever seen them do is patrol and eat[in red text] bananas" LMAO WHATS THE DEAL MY DUDES

theres some bananas here on a table wtf do i do throw them at them?? lmao

OMFG LOL IT WORKED

dude pranced right over to it and pocketed it lmao

nooo i missed a chest...maybe i can get it on the way back out ;_;

LOL I FOUND AN ENTIRE ROOM FULL OF BANANAS

this is so funny dkjfgh fck

urgh i wish i could just...snipe them from here. it'd be so EASY

im actually not even totally sure which direction to go, im all turned around

ok, one stationary guy at the door maybe i have to move him?

NOOO I FUCKING FELL THEY SAW ME

i couldn't even fight they one-shotted me and mipha's grace didn't kick in! that isn't fair at all

at least i can get the chest i missed

lol and i cant save in here. perfect.

ok yeah im gonna have to look it up bc as far as i can tell this room has no exit all the hallways just circle back around into it

apparently i CAN fight them...? they're just really hard?

this walkthru is so unclear lol there's a hidden door i can find with magnesis on the right-hand wall WHICH RIGHT...

WAIT fuck i finally see the exit

ah ok. wrong room for the hidden door.

master kohga!! he just...knocked himself out with his own attack. lmao ok

fuck this is SO FUNNY he is so funny

i love it even his bones cracked

isn't what he used to be, apparently

wow this is a boring fight he has a lot of hp and he's so far away the only way i can attack is arrows

and now arrows aren't working anymore...? obviously i'm doing something wrong

maybe i can reflect the rocks back at him

ok google says to drop his things on his head

HAHAHA HIS SPECIAL ATTACK FAILED

this undertale naruto motherfucker im crying i love him

"pretty soon you'll be gone! and not just from my line of sight!" i'm CRYING

fuck the ball rolled on top of him and made him fall

"COWARD! I SHALL BE REMEMBERED!!!"

what a fucking legend i'll never forget you master kohga i promise

aaaand thunder helm retrieved

but i gotta rescue that missing gerudo!

ah good her cell is empty!

lol im skipping sooo many shrines rn...i'll come back to them later i swear

oh NOOOO i got a memory!!!

urbosa the prankster!!! witht he power of lightning at her disposal!! protective of princess zelda!! i'm dying!!!

also im sad so zelda's sealing power mjst be what she used to seal ganon away but apparently in the past she couldn't make it show up for her whole life...?

aw no poor riju the helmet is too big on her

(give it to meeeee)

ok it's time for the divine beast bit but before i do jack or shit im going to upgrade my armor as much as possible rn

ugh you can't enhance the gerudo clothes...geez

FUCK YES HERE WE GO!

aaah riju is talking!!! i always get so surprised!!!

i did it!! tbh i had a really hard time keeping up with her...a dash was too fast but regular speed was too slow

AAH URBOSA IS TALKING TO ME ;_;

ohhh wow it's really walking around while on it

oh man. it's so big. it's so big

oooh you rotate the insides of this one!!

i get the feeling now i should've done more shrines in this area afterall, they have the same sort of electricity theme and they would've been good practice 

okay that was...easily the hardest beast so far

i had to use a guide TWICE and i could barely understand the instructions, PLUS i got two terminals by sheer dumb luck

oooh boy okay a lightning boss im assuming here we gooooo

LMFAO i suck so much at this urbosa was like "there is valor in dodging"

thanks zelda i missed your captain obvious statements

geeeeez i just barely got it

oh EW that never gets any less gross

ohhh my god

"I COULDN'T BE MORE PROUD OF HER" B Y E

oh my gOD?

she mentioned nabooru from oot BY NAME holy SHIT this continutity between games!!!

and "calamity ganon once took on the form of a gerudo that makes this all the more personal" jesus fUCKING christ

i feel so bad for ganondorf the man like

he didn't ask for this shit anymore than link or zelda

and at least they get to win most of the time he always loses and even when he does win he's hated, his win brings ruin

where's the fic where the only way to end the cycle is to become friends with him huh

or like, frankly: the true enemy isn't ganondorf but the evil that takes hold of him

when does he get to be the hero and fight it and smash it to little bitty bits!

oh lord and the blood moon as soon as i get back

do people like, see these towers popping up and beasts moving around? does it scare the shit out of them or make them hopeful?

anyway i hope now i can explore with less sandstorms

oh boy time to ride into a sandstorm gee i sure hope i dont get lost

LOL and first thing i run right into a camp of enemies just bc i was trying to stay in a straight line!!!! jesus

lovely! i am now hopelessly turned around in a sandstorm. i literally don't even know which way i came from

my sand seal is also STUCK lol

ah i passed through it! i'm right where i need to go!

omg I FOUND THE LAST GREAT FAIRY

i'm. i'm 500 short. oh my god

nothing i can't earn with 10 minutes of cooking, tho

huh...? she only asked for 1k...?

i could've SWORN i read someone asks for 10k at one point!

god what if i've been MISINFORMED all this TIME

ooh this one is orange and green

FUCK "i know what you're thinking...can't we just skip to the part where she enhances my clothes?" FUCKING PLAYED

holy FUCK just found my first molduga...i have to KILL one of these for a quest? jesus christ!

ohhh that actually wasn't too bad at all once i figured out the strategy...i've had more trouble with lynels and hinoxes

i'll be honest, the interactive map take a bit of both fun and "work" out of exploring...i look at empty areas and don't wonder "ooh whats over there" but think "ah i can just glance at that bit"

which should make me feel like my Pure Enjoyment of the game is being compromised, and i guess it does a little, but

i wasn't kidding when i said the need to explore was a bit compulsive so it's mostly a relief

ah from up here i see the sandstorm...i think it rotates around the desert? so, it's very possible to avoid and survive even if you do get stuck

anyway i missed several shrines but the quests for them are so complex and i am so Sick

of the desert. even worse than rain tbh

now the question is what to do next: master sword or rito beast

lowkey wanna wait until i get all four beasts before the sword, but

i know you do all four beasts and then ganon and that's it, so if i got the sword then it wouldn't help me for long

plus i'm a little tired of fighting the temperature and changing gear/eating food all the time, so......i guess i'll go check out the forest

maybe i'll see dinaal! i've only seen him once from veeeery very far away

im getting aaaaawfully close to hyrule castle i Dont Like This

lmao every time i catch sight of the divine beasts in the distance, the fact that i can SEE them from THIS far away, blows my fucking mine

they are SO BIG

im getting a much closer look at that flying thing and i'm almost CERTAIN it's a divine beast

just. jesus christ. so BIG

ohhh my gosh i can see the giant pink tree from here *_*

or maybe it's brown, maybe the deku tree is dead lmao

lol straight up skipped the bottomless bog and the enemies at the bottom bc i glided in from death mountain

whoa this tower has rock all over the top??

ah maybe it's so i can't glide to the big tree in the middle lol

not the lost woods if i don't get lost!

lol jk i got on top of it and there was a super cool sword here

aww rauru hillside...im sad

BRO im in the lost woods but its just playing the maze shrine music, i was so hopeful for saria's song

zora's domain having the same music set me up with false expectations t b h

omg if i go too high i die!! i can't follow my higher-ground instict here!!!!!

which is pretty cool but if all i have to do is wander around these woods with my map ON to find the master sword i am gonna be disappointed

even gerudo desert turned it off sometimes

ohhh okay if i wander off the path i also die i can't just go wherever i gotta follow torches i guess

mkay i googled it bc i got stuck and couldn't see anymore torches and it's wind direction! neat

see i feel a little bad about not figuring that out for myself but like...it's not Fun to die over and over bc you can't solve a puzzle. so #realgamers can shut the hell up lol games are for fun

the ember thing is SUPER clever tho and like i know this game is so like, praised bc it stops holding your hand, but i would have appreciated a TINY obscure hint

i did get as far as carrying a torch but i thought maybe i was burning off the fog or smth

omg i found korok forest!!!

oh

there's my sword

said "oh" out loud

kinda wish the quest had been more, idk

but.

mmm not yet. not yet. i'll talk to some koroks first

haha and the very first one tells me to go get the sword all right all right

man. i always remember now that fi's been in there since the ages of skyward sword, sleeping

tbh i kinda miss her 

even though she's way more annoying than navi could ever DREAM of being

for all we complain about compaions, they're a zelda staple and it feels lonely without them

i know not having one makes for a stronger game, i do, but...

really though. the master sword quest was SHOCKINGLY easy. i know i looked up the ember thing but geez it's the first truly disappointing this about this game

and my brother told me they made you work for it lmao but that was. not even close to Work. i've had more trouble at bokoblin camps

like. fucking weak. tbh. i'm so sad like i can't believe this game let me down

OH MY GOD

I TRIED TO TOUCH IT AND THE MEMORIES OVERWHELMED ME

and like at first i was like "ok if link gets his memories back with the sword i'll give them that, that's pretty sick"

AND THEN THE GREAT DEKU TREE STARTED SPEAKING

AND IT WASN'T LOST WOODS MUSIC BUT IT WAS FOREST HAVEN MUSIC

and i straight up burst into tears

"i have watched over hyrule since time immemorial" i know i know i was there i know i missed him so much one of the very first major zelda characters i ever knew i know technically he hasn't been there since the very beginning but he was my beginning

and i didn't even think i cared about him that much emotionally but i also welled up the first time he spoke old hylian in wind waker

oh god link's not WORTHY of the sword yet yes okay i'm here for this i knew this game wouldn't let me down

idk why i never considered the big pink tree might be the deku tree like i joked about it just a few minutes ago but i didn't seriously consider it so i was so surprised

and all the koroks running around and i know i KNOW they used to be kokiri it's almost like i came home, Really Home, the forest was where link began for me, not hyrule proper, he was always a child of these woods

ohhh my god i gotta mop up my face stream is soon!! jesus fuck

oh god now he wants me to pull it again

what if i'm not worthy? what if i am?

i don't have long left to play but i CANNOT leave it here, jesus christ

okay. i'm gonna try. i gotta try. courage!

oh my god it takes your LIFE?

and he said enough when i was down to my last quarter of a heart!! i'm gonna cry i was so close link tried so hard but he wasn't ready yet

i could eat food to max out my hearts but where's the fun in that........

ok. ok. i need to. step back a moment. fuck.

there's hestu! oh my god buddy you finally made it home!! me too pal me too

im gonna save and quit here before i talk to him tho bc like. i gotta stream. but Wow. god Damn

I KNEW THIS GAME WOULDN'T LET ME DOWN!!!!

LMAO I LIED JK im playing a bit more after stream

i talked to the trial korok and "do all the shrines here, it's based on the trials the legendary hero himself did" im crying!!! thats some History!!!

oh my god the koroks are so CUTE??

oh no this is so precious they've been waiting for him

sdfgsfdg "nooo vegetarians everywhere nooo that's my face" i wish i had thought to taka e a snap of that but i cant get him to say it again

aw omg they set up little stores and they only have one of many items please please i'm so proud of them

they set up a little bed for me!! they don't even want my money to sleep there!! i'm sleeping in a tree again, just like i was in oot ;____;

tbh it's so fitting that i did the scary mysterious thing of trying to pull the sword at night and i'm meeting the koroks in the brightness of day

i saw a shield resting on this rock and i had a tiny heart attack like OMG THE HYLIAN SHIELD?!?

ok. ok. i did the trials. i'm gonna see if i can get the sword now??

lol i have the same amt of hearts im not leaving to find a goddess statue and i was trying to boost my stamina anyway but maybe the food boost will help? unless they dont let me use it, we'll see

aaah no it DOESN'T omg

well, maybe one more heart container will do it...?

ugh i don't wanna go back and do the desert ones

me: already fast-traveling

Great, A Sand Storm, Just What I Wanted

fuck i stopped by town and there's a secret club that sells gerudo clothes for men

LOL why.........do they think dudes will feel weird looking pretty? come on

they said there's a high demand so i choose to believe there are lots of gerudo transmen. anyway back to the forest i got two more heart containers i pray it's enough i was SO CLOSE before

I DID IT FUCK I ALMOST DIED BUT I DID IT

IM GONNA CRY JESUS CHRIST

ZELDA SEALED THE SWORD

she's been fighting 100 years and she has so much faith in link

more importantly she heard the sword speak to her im crying fi is in there fi and zelda/hylia meet again

her smile is like the sun, i would do much to feel its warmth upon me again ME TOO PAL im weeping my poor brave daughter i promise i'll save her i promise i promise

it's almost 7am but that was worth it. that was W O R T H I T

[spagatbolognese]

If you think of it this way, nothing is our fault. Because you could have loved me forever. And maybe in another universe, I let you. (insp.)