#okay enough negativity heres old man yaoi
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happy last day of pride they got married
#maru doodles#ptn#path to nowhere#ptn fanart#path to nowhere fanart#ptn levy#ptn mr fox#hai guys its been like a week? i think? sinc i last posted idk i dont keep count#my life is going horribly but at least theres levyfox i guess#falls to the ground#i was planning on this for a while and finally got my ass to draw it after going through all the circles of hell but we made it#okay enough negativity heres old man yaoi#i wouldve given them custom suits if i wasnt artblocking lately but they def would have custom suits but i had to stick with generic suit :#also fox gets emotional because i said so (i know him peresonally) (he would not do that but he does anyway)#levy without sunglasses feels so weird i had to like triple check
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50 Facts About Me (THANK YOU FOR 50 FOLLOWS!)
So... as promised in this post, Iām doing 50 facts about me because 50?! people followed me and my crazy masa obsessed cat mom ass. Thanks for enjoying my messed up commentary/rambles! Great, now Iām starting to sound like a youtuber that just wants money lmao sorry. Enough mushy stuff, and onto ze list!
Possible trigger warning: Iāll try to keep this as positive as I can, but there may be some things that can trigger some people (including but not limited to mental health, abuse/bullying, eating disorders etc.) If you are not comfortable with those topics, donāt read this.
1. My real name is Robin (middle name starts with Y and my last name starts with G)
2. I live in AZ
3. I LOVE FOOD. Part of the reason why I love masa and luka tbh... But seriously, food is great.
4. My fav foods are crab, ham, and burgers. See why I canāt become vegetarian š
5. I HATE onions with a passion.
6. My fav animals are owls, cats, hedgehogs, snakes, and whale sharks.
7. I have two dogs and used to have a cat (extremely long story short: My cat is in the ācareā of an abusive psycho that isnāt allowed near me so I canāt see her ever again :/ but my sisters can) I still love Lucky (my cat) to death. Sheās a sweet kitty (most of the time) and I miss her so much ā¤ļø
8. My dogs are named Tucker and Bella. Theyāre both miniature schnauzers and theyāre crazy. Tucker is a sweetheart, but he DOESNT. STOP. BARKING. He has a bit of a jealousy issue. When Bella gets attention, he starts barking and/or pushes her away from the human š He hates when his people hug. He will jump on them and bark and growl. He also has stuffed animals that he LOVES. He uses them as pillows and carries them around. Bella is a lazy piggy ass. All she does is sleep and eat (like me haha). Half the time sheās too lazy to get up and go outside, and only responds when thereās food (once again, just like me š
) They absolutely love each other though. Tucker licks her and grooms her and Bella follows him around and itās just the cutest thing.
9. My lucky number is 9 because my birthday is 9/29 and my adoption day is 9/9 (see what I did there hehe get it? fact 9 is about my lucky number 9? no? okay...)
10. Iām adopted from an orphanage in (Eastern?) China
11. I have 2 sisters. Theyāre both in college but everyone who sees us on the street thinks Iām the oldest because Iām taller and curvier. One is 21 (but everyone thinks sheās like 16) and the other is 19 (people think sheās like 10 š) No, none of us are blood related.
12. Iām 5ā nothing...
13. Iāve always been heavy for my height and age. I was and still am judged because of how much I eat and weigh. Because of this, I had an eating disorder in 4th grade and have always hated myself and envied my sisters for their tiny asian bodies.
14. I used to do tennis, dance, and swimming. I havenāt done any sports since then.
15. I can play 3 instruments, and tried many others. I played piano for 10 years, violin for 2, and French horn for 6 months.
16. I am EXTREMELY double jointed in my fingers
17. I have a fused tooth
18. My fingers bend back at the first knuckle way farther than most peopleās
19. My hair is REALLY long and grows really fast. It goes to around my hip/tailbone area as of now.
20. My shoe size is a 7
21. My fav colors are red and green
22. My first fictional crush was Link. I was 8 at the time. Weāre still going strong 7 years later.
23. Only a few months ago did someone top (wink wonk) Link: MASAAAA
24. My first otome was Shall We Date? Love Tangle after I saw an ad for it on trivia crack. My first route was Ryan. My fav is Nolan.
25. I still love MM, but I donāt have the time OR space on my phone to play (SORRY ZENNY)
26. I got in huge trouble when I was 10 coz I made a bunch of accounts that my mom didnāt approve of. I made an email, twitter, pottermore, quizilla (I miss that site smh), etc. And I did it MULTIPLE times. After she took the computer from me, she found out my DS had internet too. I didnāt have my DS for a long time. She would give it back after a while, and ID GO ONTO THE INTERNET AND YOUTUBE EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I got my DS back on Christmas in 7th grade coz I got games for it and she trusted me enough (and I had a phone by then so yay trust...?)
27. ...the twitter accounts still exist... Iāve looked back at them and I wanna kms holy crap it was bad. Lesson: 10 year olds shouldnāt be on twitter.
28. I love Harry Potter and The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon series). My fav HP book is Order of the Phoenix, and my fav IC book is Eldest.
29. My fav Zelda is a tie between Skyward Sword and Wind Waker
30. My fav PokƩmon are Garchomp, Shaymin, and Breloom
31. We used to have so many games and systems. We had like 100-200 games, 2 gamecubes, 3 GBAās, 4 DSā, 2 wiiās, and prob more š We got only $150 from gamestop.
32. My fav youtubers are Chuggaaconroy, Rachel & Jun, and Glam & Gore.
33. I learned about sex through fanfiction (specifically, The Lemon of Zelda (pretty sure itās been deleted tho coz I canāt find it))š I never got The Talk.
34. I may have looked at yaoi at school before...
35. Iām pansexual
36. Biggest turnoffs are arrogance, possessiveness, and bad hygiene.
37. Biggest turn ons are good chesticles and sense of humor.
38. Iāve had ONE bf and I dumped him after a day coz he wouldnāt stop calling me and I was scared of my mom. The thing is, we both liked each other for a LONG time and to my friend I was like āYo ask who he likesā coz he was acting all sus and SHE TOLD HIM I TOLD HER TO ASK HIM and heās like YA I LIKE ROBIN and Iām like WTF IS WRONG W YOU to my friend. Then he told me in class and it was really cute and I accepted. Then broke up w him OVER TEXT not even 24 hours later š Dumb 7th grade ass
39. Iāve always been bullied because of how awkward and weird and annoying I am
40. My fav anime is Ouran
41. The only thing keeping me alive in freshman year (this past school year) was otome. Specifically Masa. My mind: What would Masa do without his kitten? Who would he chase through Azuchi? Who would be the pretty pillow/futon when heās drunk? Damn, I love this man agh
42. I can reach my back much better than most people. I donāt need a back scratcher because I can reach my whole back.
43. Iām obsessed with makeup and nails, and used to love music, reading, and art.
44. My real baes are Huang Jing Xiang (fellow Chinese SPOTTED!) and Kato Kazuki
45. I sweat A LOT. I have to have a STRONG fan coz ac isnāt enough to keep me from sweating too much. And I live in AZ, so itās even worse...
46. I still sleep with my baby blanket. I put it over my pillow coz itās so soft (and I donāt have any other blankets)
47. My fav movie is Heathers (WELL FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW)
48. I have HORRIBLE eyesight but I donāt like wearing my glasses coz the arms give me a headache and I donāt like them period
49. I love bad puns too much (I would make one here, but I donāt wanna be PUNished) š
50. Iāve gotten caught drawing... and writing... some NSFW things at bad times...
AAAAND DAS IT! Sorry it was more negative than I thought it would be, but Iām a really boring person with a boring life filled with drama and... That makes no sense does it. A boring life doesnāt have drama... Iām dumb. Shouldāve stopped at DASSIT. Ok, Iām actually stopping lmao baiii š
#robin rambles#thanks for 50 followers#50 facts about me#trigger warning#ikesen#ikerev#date masamune#ray blackwell
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masterpost on why mod norway hates den//nor a lot without mentioning kin stuff or specific ships that are better
disclaimer: this post isnāt to start an argument, the only reason Iām making it is to organize my thoughts about den//nor because @ adhd wyd.Ā
This is okay to reblog, but I will ignore any and all reblogs adding on things about how Iām wrong. This is based off a mix of opinion, canon and scientific evidence about attraction, and I really, really, donāt want to argue about den//nor, especially with people who ship it. So really, for the sake of my mental health and your time, donāt bother arguing with my stubborn ass. Iām not going to change my stance on this and thereās nothing you can say to change that.
contents: yaoi / itād be unhealthy (for both of them) / the actual shippers / dynamic
yaoi.
Iām not saying I dislike gay ships, no. I live for gay ships, Iām a gay male, I love mlm ships. Big comfort material. I dislike yaoi, gay ships are fine and dandy. Yaoi is gross.
Yaoi (āAlso called BL (Boyās Love) and Shounen Ai, yaoi is a genre of manga that fetishizes m/m relationships and relies on homophobic stereotypes for plot and character devices.ā), and fujioshis.
āIn most yaoi mangas, there is one agressive masculine man who preys upon an usually much younger, submissive feminine man. It strengthens the homophobic myth of gay men being predators and pedophiles.ā
Doesnāt that sound a lot how the fandom portrays Denmark and Norway? Denmark is canonically the same height as Norway (Well, Norway is like an inch shorter at most), and the two have about the same body shape. Yet what do yāall fujioshis do? Draw Norway as some femme boy thatās like a foot shorter than Denmark.
āIt also relies on heteronormative stereotypes, where there are always strict uke/seme roles in bed, as well as a feminine caring and a masculine powerful dynamic in the relationship outside of the bed. Ā ā
Again, what do yāall do? Make Norway super femme and oh so much smarter than Denmark, making Denmark the unhealthily powerful one -- Bringing me to my next point;
itād be unhealthy (for both of them).
āThey have known each other since childhood, but while Denmark considers the two of them to be like best friends and believes that Norway thinks the same way he does, he is unaware of Norway's blunt teasing.[7] Norway frequently refers to him as anko[12], a term Himaruya has described as having a nuance like older brother or oniichan, the familiar form of big brother, and having a classmate-like feeling.[13]ā
āMain article: Norway
Norway is a childhood friend of Denmark's, who he feels rather close to and strongly about, believing that Norway sees him the same way as a "best friend."Ā ā
(source: Norways wikiĀ & Denmarks wiki)
Since Iām not sure how to word it; lets take my parents for example; theyād been dating since they were 15 (fifteen) until they were like 23-24. My mom used to go over to his house every. single. day. because she felt more at home there than at her own home. They never argued, they were like a perfect relationship almost. Why they broke up? My mom, and I quote,Ā āsaw him more like a brother than a lover.ā Which is a completely justified reason to break up! My parents have the same relationship as siblings. Now, if my parents felt like siblings after 8 years of growing up together; imagine the bond that Denmark and Norway have.
They grew up together for thousands of years! Meaning theyād be much, much closer than my parents were. So maybe they couldāve dated at some point in their history, but I can see them doing the same thing my parents did; break up because they felt like siblings/being best friends would be better. Plus, you donāt call your lover ābrotherā, even if youāre not actually related or donāt mean it as sibling-way especially if you have other, blood-related, siblings.
Why would a relationship be unhealthy for the both of them?
Because if they feel like brothers, then you get the same unhealthy benefits of actual incest from theĀ Westermarck effect,Ā āa hypothetical psychological effect through which people who live in close domestic proximity during the first few years of their lives become desensitized to sexual attraction.ā Which, guess what, Denmark and Norway have known each other since childhood,Ā
Fujioshis turning the shp into yaoi + the westermarck effect; what do we have?
If you put the two into a relationship youāre implying that one of them is unconsciously forcing themselves onto the other. Or just, yāknow, people straight up writing something like Danish Slaughter House - a fanfiction where Denmark straight up rapes and kills all the Nordics.
And speaking of Danish Slaughter House, letās move on to the next point;
the actual shippers.
I donāt even know where to start with this one. I guess Iāll start with shamchat, a great site, I spend a lot of time there - as one of my biggest hobbies in the past few years is roleplaying. I have almost 2 years of experience with writing Norway. The thing is, when I come across Denmarks on the site it almost always, if theyre a Dennor shipper, starts off as something like:
Best friends hanging out -> Denmark asks Norway to do something with him -> Norway is busy -> Denmark gets sad -> Norway tries to make him feel better -> Denmark confesses feelings.
what? and then Norway will tell Denmark that he sees him as a brother or just doesnāt feel the same, and then thereās a long range of reactions Iāve gotten from Denmarks with this, some of the worst including being harassed ooc for not shipping it, being guilted ooc for not shipping it (@ my RSD, someone telling me that theyāre crying because I donāt ship something just. x20 as bad as neurotypicals), Denmark trying to force himself onto Norway sexually, and there was actually one where they had Denmark threaten to kill whoever Norway had feelings for.
For fucks sake! Once I was on as FtM!Caught Binding!Norway because I was feeling incredibly dysphoric, and I had a Denmark threaten to out Norway to the other Nordics, while Norway was begging him not to, and when he finally agreed not to Ā - which took actually making Norway (and me for that matter, since I have really big emotional ties with Norway) cry - he immediately jumps to a confession, which Norway sorta tells him off because what makes anyone think after threatening to out someone as trans theyāre gonna accept a uwu love confession uwu uwu, which in turn upset Denmark and the entire rp turns to them - Norway trying to make him feel better, telling him that heās his brother and always will be, etc. Making the biggest effort to make him feel better, but no instead he runs away to his bedroom, locks himself in his closet and tried to stab himself to death.
Most of these were done while I was on mobile, so unfortunately I donāt have saves to them.
Am I upset that you people portray Denmark horribly? Of course. My point isnāt the portrayals of Denmark here, though. Because the canon portrayal of Denmark is actually pretty fit for Norway, not going to lie, but my point is about how the shippers pull bullshit like this when someone doesnāt like their ship, which again ties into the homophobia of yaoi.
āMany mangas in this genre also have a plot centered around rape (the seme/top rapes the uke/bottom, then the uke realizes he actually loves the seme and allows the relationship to continue), abuse (physical, where the seme will hurt the uke, or emotional, where either part will threaten things as far as suicide if the other part dares to leave them), pedophilia (shota is a subgenre of yaoi in which boys as young as 5-6 will have sexual relationships with middle aged men). ā
Most of these Iāve actually had to deal with personally aside from the pedophilia/shota bit, while Iāve never actually done an rp with someone as Shota!Denmark (I skip anyone who thinks shota is ok), Iāve seen them around, along with Shota!Norways.
Iām not going to start with the amount of Denmarkās on shamchat idealizing Norway in every way, shape and form.
dynamic.
Admittedly, Denmark is an almost ideal guy for Norway personality-wise, with how socially inept Norway is (Which Denmark can still be there for him if theyāre friends), but for Denmark, Norway isnāt super suitable. The idea that Denmark needs someone to keep him in check is a little, how do I say it, wrong. Denmark is over 2000 years old, heās smart enough to keep himself in check, while it would be nice for him to have someone to be there to tell himĀ āYouāre being too loudā and to give him a little help here and there, best friends can do that, can they not? As for a romantic partner, Denmark would probably be better matched with someone who doesnāt have trouble complimenting people or doing things solely to please him.
Denmark has his self image as a priority, and as shown by the above strips Iāve given, Norway isnāt the best to give him that. Norway is better at subtly doing things for people he cares for, not outright stating and cheering for him - which I did try to find the part of a strip where Denmark was imagining Norway and Iceland cheering for him (Or something like that), I couldnāt find it, but that one in specific emphasizes that a romantic relationship between Denmark and Norway wouldnāt quite work the same way their brothery relationship works.
Everyone teases and gets into arguments with their siblings, (Which Norway does tease & occasionally insult Denmark) and you always know that everything your sibling says to insult you isnāt serious, but even though Denmark āblatantly ignores offensive and aggressive social tones ā, that doesnāt mean he doesnāt pick up on them and he holds himself up too high for it to be a healthy relationship romantically if for either of them if Norway isnāt going to be positive, Norway is kinda negative and Denmark contrasts that greatly, but if Norway canāt give Denmark flattery and self esteem boosts straightforwardly, then Denmark wonāt be happy in the relationship, which makes him less positive, making him less ideal for Norway. Whereas if they just stay as brothers, itās easier for Denmark to just brush off any teasing or criticism Norway might have.
As for romantic relationships for Norway, I did say earlier that Norway needs someone whoās positive, good at social interaction, cheerful, friendly, etc. He also needs someone who easily picks up on the little things he does and isnāt extremely high-maintenance when it comes to needing flattery. Someone that Norway doesnāt have to be straightforward with. While weāre at it, Iāll also mention why someone who isnāt these things wouldnāt work, Norway needs someone positive and good at social interaction because heās not these things, (Heās said it himself, he is painfully shy around strangers as he resolved to leave upon seeing them; yes Iām ignoring that he did all that speaking right after he said that, this is because Iām going off the it was only there for comedic purposes and doesnāt mean anything), and he needs someone cheery/friendly to contrast himself (Iām not saying he isn't friendly! He is quite that, but isnāt great at expressing it.), since a relationship between two characters who are really apathetic about a lot of things would just end in them thinking theyre apathetic abt each other. Picking up on little things + not needing to be straightforward with is kinda self explanatory after the stuff about Denmark.
Anyways, back on track. Kinda? Conclusion.
I do like theĀ āquiet one & loud oneā/āopposites attractā/similar tropes a lot, but when it comes to Denmark and Norway it doesnāt quite work out as well as others might. Especially with fandom misportrayals, it kinda ruins the pairing for me.
#aph norway#aph denmark#anti dennor#aph#hetalia#my post#mod norway#I should make a masterpost on why I love rom//nor tbh#like just bc it would be a lot nicer than this
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"Can I at least put on my socks first?"
(send me a dialogue prompt!)
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same anon also requested ādcmk, but please no yaoi (if you can help it)āĀ
ā¦to which, let me just say that (a)Ā I am honestly (and quite legitimately?) curious as to what prompted the last part from anon, andĀ (b) apparently the muse took that as a sign to completely overreact and go to the other extreme? idk.
unedited as usual (and much longer than expected), hope you enjoy!
(AO3)
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66. āCan I at least put on my socks first?ā
Hattori Heiji is woken abruptly by the scream of a banshee.
ā¦okay, not really ā though with the really really weird run of cases heās had with Kudo recently (theyāve discussed this, and come to the conclusion that it is pretty unexplainable even by their standards, which is saying something), it isnāt even a possibility that Heiji can dismiss out of hand anymore.
Anyway.Ā Itās still an accurate analogy, if you replace the banshee with his handphone, which is vibrating madly on the bedside table atā¦ Heiji has no idea what time it even is, except for being waaaay too early for anyone to be calling him.
He almost gives in to temptation to ignore it and go back to sleep (he is quite capable of sleeping through worse things, after all), but after a full minute of insistent ringing Heiji reaches just far enough to drag the phone over and glance at the screen.
Which, ow, because looking at a bright screen in a dark room isnāt the greatest idea, apparently. (Look, he knewĀ that already, his brain just hasnāt fully started up yet, okay?)
Eyes now watering, Heiji squints against the glare until he manages to make out the callerās name, which turns out to beā¦ Kazuha? he thinks, somewhat dumbfoundedly, because Kazuha of all people should know that Heiji isnāt a morning person by any definition of the phrase. Heck, even his mum lets him sleep in on weekends, so why ā
Heiji basically gives up on guessing at this point and accepts the call, then puts the phone on speaker for good measure before flipping it to face down.Ā
āMoshi moshi,ā he mumbles with a vague attempt at coherence, though itās probably rendered useless by him burying his face back into the pillow, because ā ah, glorious darkness, he could go to sleep againā¦
Kazuha promptly puts a stop to that. āHeiji? You have to get up now, quick!ā
He makes several noises of complete disagreement at this, before straightening up enough to ask, āWhy, did someone die?ā
āDid someoāĀ oh my god, Ran-chanās right, thatās all you detectives ever think about, isnāt it?ā Kazuhaās voice sounds kinda tinny over the speaker, Heiji notes absently. āNo, itās not a case, do I sound like Otaki-keibu to you? Anyway, get dressed, or Iām coming over to drag you out of bed!ā
Heiji sighs ā he knows that particular tone in Kazuhaās voice, and it conjures the distinct possibility of a police cruiser arriving at his door in fifteen minutes if he doesnāt get up right now.
āIs there any way Iām getting out of this?ā he asks anyway, because he (unlike certain detectives of the East) believes in being an optimist, and when that gets the expected negative response Heiji finally gives in and pushes himself upright with a yawn. āFine, Iām up! But Iām gonna go right back to bed after this, because some of us actually need sleep.ā
āYouāre just lazy, Heiji,ā Kazuha replies altogether too cheerfully. āI know you wake up at five before tournaments, donāt try to deny it. Now hurry up, if youāre not out of the house in five minutes youāre buying me lunch tomorrow!ā
Heiji decides, wisely, to not point out the distinct lack of tournaments today. āOkay, jeez, can I at least put on my socks first?ā
āJust donāt bother with finding a matching pair. Your sock drawer is a mess, Heiji, Iāve seen it,ā Kazuha says in a longsuffering tone ā which Heiji kinda deserves, admittedly, but itās not like anyone cares about what socks heās wearing anyway.
She waits another three minutes ā during which Hattori Heiji, champion of multiple kendo tournaments, manages to stub his toe on three separate pieces of furniture while attempting to get dressed because he still refuses to turn on the lightĀ ā before asking again. āAre you done yet?ā
He picks up the phone from the bed and switches off the speaker. āYeah, yeah, Iām heading out now. Whatās the big emergency about, anyway? You still havenāt said.ā
āYouāll see!ā comes Kazuhaās reply, and Heiji blinks in surprise, because she sounds really excited all of a sudden.
(Or, some part of his brain suggests, she had been excited to start with and he just hadnāt been awake enough to notice it?Ā
Heiji stifles a yawn, conceding the point, and wonders briefly if Kudo ever had to suffer this kind of treatment. Granted, Neechan could punch through concrete, but he didnāt think she was cruel enough to wake Kudo at ā he checks his watch ā three-thirty in the morning.)
He walks through the house on silent feet, thankfully avoiding any further unfortunate encounters with various pieces of furniture, before reaching the front door and changing out of his house slippers.
A cold draft blows in as he unlocks the door, and Heiji shivers, glad heād managed to find a pair of socks anyway, despite Kazuhaās lack of faith in his organisational systems.
The first impression he gets as he steps out into their front porch is that of blinding white, then ā wait.
āIs itā¦ā Heiji trails off, rubbing at his eyes in disbelief. āIt is snowing, isnāt it.ā
āYep!ā Kazuha agrees enthusiastically over the phone. āAnd a really heavy snowfall, too, I canāt remember the last time we had this much snow.ā
That wasā¦ huh, Heiji couldnāt remember either. It certainly wasnāt recent, at any rate.
Heiji contemplates the garden for a moment, as it slowly but steadily vanishes under the cover of white, and snaps a few pictures, because it is quite pretty, he can agree about that much.
Then he puts the phone back to his ear. āOkay, Iāve seen it, so Iām going back in to sleep now.ā
āWhat?āĀ Kazuha actually sounds offended, which he hadnāt been aware could happen over the topic of weather. āNo way!ā
āYes way,ā Heiji counters, already making his way back into the inviting warmth of the house. āA snow that thick will still be around when I actually wake up later. Besides, couldnāt you have just asked me to look out the window, instead of dragging me all the way out here?ā
āWhereās the fun in that? And stop whining, youāll start sounding like an old man,ā Kazuha grumbles.
āWell,ā Heiji says as he reaches his room, āthis old man would like to get some more sleep, so you have fun building snowmen or whatever it is you want to do. Iāll put the snow chains on the bike later so we can go out in the afternoon.ā
āFine, but Iām holding you to that, Heiji!ā Kazuha says warningly.
āYeah, okay.ā He yawns, and flops back gracelessly onto the bed. āSee ya later, Kazuha.ā
She says something in response, but Heijiās already asleep before he hears it.
.
.
ā¦hm. feeling a little iffy about this, to be honest ā HeiKazu isnāt a pairing I read particularly often, let alone write (ditto for Heiji himself too, actually), so tell me what you think?
also apologies for any inaccurate depictions of weather ok the author hasnāt actually experienced snow before lmao
#detective conan#hattori heiji#toyama kazuha#heikazu#asks#anonymous#fanfiction#mine#it is late and the author is bad at ending stories#so uh *waves vaguely*
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Off the Cuff 09/02/17
This is somewhat negative, but a reflection post. Why am I doing this at 0032 in the morning instead of drawing? I donāt know. I guess I hit that point where I just need to really get it off my chest. This will also probably get me haters, but fuck it.
Okay, so people who followed me way back probably know by now I wanted to find my center again before I came back. I only really wanted to bother making an account and such when maybe new year came around, but I got pestered. Fortunately, there was one person whoās account I really wanted to support, so it made things a lot easier for me.
As we can see, I didnāt get to find my balance well and that lead to well, weak art. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back and find our pace again and I really tried, but I stumbled about, fucked up a lot. Till now I strongly believe if I just went off like a hermit for a longer period of time Iād have been in a better position, which would have been better for everyone.
Another reason is because of what Tumblr itself: A tremendously sexist and racist site.
Yeah, Tumblr.
Quite a lot of you are racists and sexists, more than a few of you would gladly get up on a high horse and make tremendously hypocritical or bloody stupid statements that make me wonder if I should give in to my depression and buy some rope to make use of that hook in my room. To me humanity is laughable. We are creatures who would gladly, in the same breath, claim unity while at the same time promote segregation, who would gladly make everything an āUS VERSUS THEMā scenario rather than sit down and discuss, share views and understand where the other party is coming from and Tumblr is great proof of it.
There is little love in this site, itās full of hatred.
You know, I laughed when Trump talked. Not because I agree with him mind you, I donāt, but because he was so bloody honest with his bigotry. It is something I can respect him for, funny enough, because God knows I appreciate honesty in these times. And he was, to me, a good reflection for the various social justice groups that I found here.
Feminists who happily embrace misandry and claim it justified while misogyny would be a cause for a crusade, character assassination, when both are wrong, steps upon the path of madness. Vegans who go about damning their fellow man while taking a viewpoint that takes only the USA and not understanding things such as logistics and trade, or even the animals they claim to champion sometimes. Race groups who begin condemning members of another group because all trouble stems from them, and without any self reflection proclaim themselves to only be victims.
The madness, the hypocrisy of it all.
Iād cry if I werenāt too busy laughing.
āOh, youāre only bothered now because it affects you!ā I can imagine some saying. And I laugh at that because from when I was a kid I have never, ever condoned and agreed to such stupidity. I have always been puzzled, have always questioned people, at times in a literal fashion, when they say something so bloody daft. Iāve been bothered by it since I was little because it had always been nothing but madness to me.
It should never be a matter of us versus them. It should be a walk on the rocky road to understanding, a path of love and enlightenment, where we fully come to realize that it is our experiences, the similarities in our varied lives that help us empathize with one another, not because we have the same bloody skin colour, or genitals.
But here we are.
One of the posts I remember the best was that women were better at drawing yuri because they were women. I laughed very hard at that and asked āExplain yaoi?ā, to which, in jest I received and formulated a reply with my acquaintance that āwomen knew what other women wanted to see, hence yaoi would be easy for them, and since they were women, they would know what yuri should entail!ā Clearly, women are the superior sex when it comes to story telling because they were born with all the bases covered!
My goodness, I should kill myself now because I will never fucking amount to what the storytellers, the mangakas I love have accomplished because Iām a fucking male by birth. That explains why I long to be female! What a waste of resources!
There were more broad sweeping statements from other sources I read that cut deeply, all because they were rather stupid and spat in the face of hard work and meritocracy, all the while condemning and promoting the superiority of a sex. There were more posts, quite a bit more mind you and I was getting absolutely sick of it.
I still am.
But fuck it all. It doesnāt matter. Nothing really does. If this is the path the world takes, celebrating free speech as it claims dictatorship, celebrating love as it spews hate then that will be what it is. Sometimes I remind myself that Iāve got terrible health and if Iām lucky Iāll fuck off in three years.
It makes me feel slightly better really.
Thatās all I wanna say. Iām gonna just go back to drawing and stay as the ignorant old fuck that I am. 0138.
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Homestuck Liveblog #153
UPDATE 153: All the Pieces are Here
Last time Gamzee had completely fooled Terezi, and by extension, me. Yeah, heās right now beating her with no remorse at all, and itās awful to see. Yikes. Also, Jane is now asleep but her body, still under control of the tiara, has latched on Aranea like a tick. So letās continue from there!
Writing this paragraph before starting. Iām predicting thereāll be a minimum of dialogue, the next fifty pages should have lots and lots of images. Itās bound to pass through real fast, isnāt it? Maybe Iāll go for 100 pages.
All these glitches make everything more ominous, in my opinion. Itās as if the world is going to shatter into pieces in any moment. Chances are that wonāt happen, but who knows, maybe the end of Homestuck is the glitches making the universe explode. Thanks for nothing, Lord English, destroyer of paradox space.
Because Jakeās death wasnāt heroic or just, he revives, this time without hope powers. He is also right beside Terezi and Gamzee, just...watching. Gamzee continues hitting as hard as he can, dang. Iām kind of glad the glitches are obscuring the situation a bit. Rose, horrified, shouts for Gamzee to stop.
ROSE: Or, wait.Ā ROSE: Is this some sort of blackrom thing?Ā ROSE: I certainly hope not.
What theāRose! This isnāt the time to be wondering if this is an obscure and weird alien romantic ritual! Stop standing there, go help Terezi! Even if it were a black romance thing, I think no one wouldnāt blame Rose for intervening. Terezi is getting her face smashed against the pavement. Anyone would intervene.
ROSE: I am the actual worst auspistice who ever lived.Ā ROSE: THE ACTUAL WORST!!!
Damn right you are; youāre just standing there! And Jake isnāt really doing much better, heās just standing there and watching Terezi being suplexed. I know in real life a lot of people stand around and do nothing when they see someone being attacked or anything, so it isnāt something that came out of left field, but this is still rather frustrating to see. Gamzee slams Terezi so hard against the concrete it breaks, and sheās now hanging over the lava. Augh.
Kanaya and Karkaroni arrive right in that moment, finding Terezi in danger. Thereās a rather cool sequence of lava seeping into the Skaia in Janeās fork, and Jake and Rose finally intervene. Jake does it meekly, just asking Gamzee to kindly stop killing Terezi -- ...fine, Jake, you do that ā and Rose takes a more hands-on approach, getting her wand ready. About time, Rose! Tge blast misses and impacts near Jake, making him fly away. Karkaroni had enough, he brandishes the sickle and swears to make a fight. Up on the building, Aranea struggles to pick up Brain Dirkās katana with her psychic powers ā no idea how that didnāt vanish away as well -- and then she arrives.
The Condesce is pissed. Oh, gee, whoād have thought that derailing the session like this would make her angry? Haha! Do you have a plan to counter the Condesce, Aranea? Did you expect her to arrive so soon? Everyone who is in the session seems to have converged in one place, this is getting good!
Aaaaaand because Hussie is like that, right when it gets good, itās time for the so-called main act of Act 6 Act 6.
Oh, jolly. Well to his credit Iām happy it was now and not in middle of the intense events that are likely to happen. Now thatād have been annoying. Better get this Caliborn thing out of the way before things happen here in Jadeās planet! Besides, I admit Iām a bit curious how much Caliborn has progressed now.
Looks like heās confident enough to mess with the manga book. Why do I have this strange sense of foreboding...again? I have it all the time when itās about Caliborn, haha...okay, letās get done with this. What artistic work do you have to show now, bud? As usual, hereās the warning: thereās a chance I wonāt have much to comment about Calibornās antics. By now, dear readers, you may be aware Iām not a diehard fan of him. By now I tolerate him, but Iām not exactly reading his sections with excitement. Once again, Iām sorry for that.
Looks like Homosuck is getting into its equivalent of Act 5. There are the trolls. Krabkrab, Honk Friend ā āfriendā?! Is there something youād like to share with the class, Caliborn? ā Cape Douche, Smelly Horse Man, Other Guy, and Bull Horn Wimp. Oh, and all the female trolls, too, with no pejorative name other than ātha bitchesā. Hah! Saw it coming.
The Beforus trolls are just everyone flipped and with a negative color scheme. Yeah, thatāll do...for the five seconds the trolls mattered. All these pictures go to the trash, because Caliborn has something better to show.
Hah! Okay, you got my attention, Hussie. Man Gaka Extraordinare! Iām amused, this may be worth a read, after all!
IT'S GOD'S GIFT. TO "THE YAOIS". MY RESEARCH TELLS ME.
Do you know that feeling of morbid curiosity one feels when one hears about something awful having happened in a video, and one wants to see how bad is it? Yeah, thatās what Iām feeling. I really like the giant watermark, though. Thatās a good one, Hussie.
Well, to Calibornās credit, he has improved a lot from his first drawings, and he followed all the instructions about how to draw manga. Never let it be said Caliborn doesnāt motivate himself to improve himself!
This is truly āthe yaoisā. Manga Dave and Manga Karkat are here. What they do, hm, well, letās say theyād both be upset to know how theyāre depicted here.
IF YOU'RE CONFUSED, BASICALLY THE IDEA IS. YOU PRETEND THEM TO LOOK MORE LIKE GIRLS. TO MAKE IT LESS WEIRD FOR EVERYBODY WHEN THEY DECIDE TO TOUCH EACH OTHER.Ā
So thatās the key to draw manga. Haha! I know a handful of people from my school thatād have taken serious offense by that! Always with the finger on the pulse, Caliborn, eh?
Oh god, itās American Comic Book Superheroine anatomy! Weāre doomed. But yeah, other than the improved drawings, it doesnāt seem like this section of Calibornās intermission wonāt differ much from the rest. Same old, same old, in terms of theme. The gals are dying in bloody ways. Yeah.
ļæ½ļæ½Registered by the government as my legal artistic possessionā Caliborn, you liar, thereās not even a government anymore.
SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO BE RELEVANT. KEEP DREAMING BITCH!
Right. So Caliborn may still have access to the radio tower? He knows what happened in the ghost bubbles. Well, not that it matters that much right now.
Oh my god, Caliborn has an OC.
...that is not what I expected. Dear reader, imagine that this here is whatās destroying paradox space. Imagine the big bad, Lord English, looks like that. Good thing he doesnāt, eh? Yeah, the skull, the hulking figure, and the billiard eyes does wonders when itās about making someone threatening.
John arrives in middle of Calibornās games with his OC, and isnāt happy at all to see Caliborn. Thought so, what after seeing the kind of playing Caliborn does with those bad drawings of his friends.
HEY ASSHOLE, I'M TALKING TO YOU!
Oh, wow, heās furious! I admit I underestimated how angry John would be. But yeah, another intense staredown. Iāll just...skip to the end of that sequence of images, thank you.
you're the one who vriska and her pirate pals are all trying to stop! it was you who put all this into motion in some way i don't really understand! which means you're responsible for like a trillion people dying, and universes blowing up, and all my friends getting scattered around and acting like idiots, and my dad being dead!
...huh. Well, thatās certainly...a bold accusation, John, and without anything to back it up, too. If what John said partly influences Caliborn to start doing everything he did once he was Lord English, hah, I wonder how John would react to that. It isnāt too farfetched to have that possibility in mind, Iād say, but if that were true, itās possible thereāll be a second John to tackle the first one soon.
Turns out Caliborn is saying his monologue loud enough for anyone around to listen! I thought the narration was just text, not that Caliborn was actually saying it. Hah! Itād be kinda endearing if it didnāt come from Caliborn.
And then comes āgame over. A flash file in Calibornās intermission. Um, well, that sounds a tad promising! Flash files are almost always great, I donāt see why this would be any different, Caliborn or not.
Iāll stop for now.
Next update: five updates
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