#okay enough negativity heres old man yaoi

[mawu-yama]

happy last day of pride they got married

[randomchick29]

50 Facts About Me (THANK YOU FOR 50 FOLLOWS!)

So... as promised in this post, I’m doing 50 facts about me because 50?! people followed me and my crazy masa obsessed cat mom ass. Thanks for enjoying my messed up commentary/rambles! Great, now I’m starting to sound like a youtuber that just wants money lmao sorry. Enough mushy stuff, and onto ze list!

Possible trigger warning: I’ll try to keep this as positive as I can, but there may be some things that can trigger some people (including but not limited to mental health, abuse/bullying, eating disorders etc.) If you are not comfortable with those topics, don’t read this.

1. My real name is Robin (middle name starts with Y and my last name starts with G)

2. I live in AZ

3. I LOVE FOOD. Part of the reason why I love masa and luka tbh... But seriously, food is great.

4. My fav foods are crab, ham, and burgers. See why I can’t become vegetarian 😂

5. I HATE onions with a passion.

6. My fav animals are owls, cats, hedgehogs, snakes, and whale sharks.

7. I have two dogs and used to have a cat (extremely long story short: My cat is in the “care” of an abusive psycho that isn’t allowed near me so I can’t see her ever again :/ but my sisters can) I still love Lucky (my cat) to death. She’s a sweet kitty (most of the time) and I miss her so much ❤️

8. My dogs are named Tucker and Bella. They’re both miniature schnauzers and they’re crazy. Tucker is a sweetheart, but he DOESNT. STOP. BARKING. He has a bit of a jealousy issue. When Bella gets attention, he starts barking and/or pushes her away from the human 😂 He hates when his people hug. He will jump on them and bark and growl. He also has stuffed animals that he LOVES. He uses them as pillows and carries them around. Bella is a lazy piggy ass. All she does is sleep and eat (like me haha). Half the time she’s too lazy to get up and go outside, and only responds when there’s food (once again, just like me 😅) They absolutely love each other though. Tucker licks her and grooms her and Bella follows him around and it’s just the cutest thing.

9. My lucky number is 9 because my birthday is 9/29 and my adoption day is 9/9 (see what I did there hehe get it? fact 9 is about my lucky number 9? no? okay...)

10. I’m adopted from an orphanage in (Eastern?) China

11. I have 2 sisters. They’re both in college but everyone who sees us on the street thinks I’m the oldest because I’m taller and curvier. One is 21 (but everyone thinks she’s like 16) and the other is 19 (people think she’s like 10 😂) No, none of us are blood related.

12. I’m 5’ nothing...

13. I’ve always been heavy for my height and age. I was and still am judged because of how much I eat and weigh. Because of this, I had an eating disorder in 4th grade and have always hated myself and envied my sisters for their tiny asian bodies.

14. I used to do tennis, dance, and swimming. I haven’t done any sports since then.

15. I can play 3 instruments, and tried many others. I played piano for 10 years, violin for 2, and French horn for 6 months.

16. I am EXTREMELY double jointed in my fingers

17. I have a fused tooth

18. My fingers bend back at the first knuckle way farther than most people’s

19. My hair is REALLY long and grows really fast. It goes to around my hip/tailbone area as of now.

20. My shoe size is a 7

21. My fav colors are red and green

22. My first fictional crush was Link. I was 8 at the time. We’re still going strong 7 years later.

23. Only a few months ago did someone top (wink wonk) Link: MASAAAA

24. My first otome was Shall We Date? Love Tangle after I saw an ad for it on trivia crack. My first route was Ryan. My fav is Nolan.

25. I still love MM, but I don’t have the time OR space on my phone to play (SORRY ZENNY)

26. I got in huge trouble when I was 10 coz I made a bunch of accounts that my mom didn’t approve of. I made an email, twitter, pottermore, quizilla (I miss that site smh), etc. And I did it MULTIPLE times. After she took the computer from me, she found out my DS had internet too. I didn’t have my DS for a long time. She would give it back after a while, and ID GO ONTO THE INTERNET AND YOUTUBE EVERY. DAMN. TIME. I got my DS back on Christmas in 7th grade coz I got games for it and she trusted me enough (and I had a phone by then so yay trust...?)

27. ...the twitter accounts still exist... I’ve looked back at them and I wanna kms holy crap it was bad. Lesson: 10 year olds shouldn’t be on twitter.

28. I love Harry Potter and The Inheritance Cycle (Eragon series). My fav HP book is Order of the Phoenix, and my fav IC book is Eldest.

29. My fav Zelda is a tie between Skyward Sword and Wind Waker

30. My fav Pokémon are Garchomp, Shaymin, and Breloom

31. We used to have so many games and systems. We had like 100-200 games, 2 gamecubes, 3 GBA’s, 4 DS’, 2 wii’s, and prob more 😂 We got only $150 from gamestop.

32. My fav youtubers are Chuggaaconroy, Rachel & Jun, and Glam & Gore.

33. I learned about sex through fanfiction (specifically, The Lemon of Zelda (pretty sure it’s been deleted tho coz I can’t find it))😂 I never got The Talk.

34. I may have looked at yaoi at school before...

35. I’m pansexual

36. Biggest turnoffs are arrogance, possessiveness, and bad hygiene.

37. Biggest turn ons are good chesticles and sense of humor.

38. I’ve had ONE bf and I dumped him after a day coz he wouldn’t stop calling me and I was scared of my mom. The thing is, we both liked each other for a LONG time and to my friend I was like “Yo ask who he likes” coz he was acting all sus and SHE TOLD HIM I TOLD HER TO ASK HIM and he’s like YA I LIKE ROBIN and I’m like WTF IS WRONG W YOU to my friend. Then he told me in class and it was really cute and I accepted. Then broke up w him OVER TEXT not even 24 hours later 😂 Dumb 7th grade ass

39. I’ve always been bullied because of how awkward and weird and annoying I am

40. My fav anime is Ouran

41. The only thing keeping me alive in freshman year (this past school year) was otome. Specifically Masa. My mind: What would Masa do without his kitten? Who would he chase through Azuchi? Who would be the pretty pillow/futon when he’s drunk? Damn, I love this man agh

42. I can reach my back much better than most people. I don’t need a back scratcher because I can reach my whole back.

43. I’m obsessed with makeup and nails, and used to love music, reading, and art.

44. My real baes are Huang Jing Xiang (fellow Chinese SPOTTED!) and Kato Kazuki

45. I sweat A LOT. I have to have a STRONG fan coz ac isn’t enough to keep me from sweating too much. And I live in AZ, so it’s even worse...

46. I still sleep with my baby blanket. I put it over my pillow coz it’s so soft (and I don’t have any other blankets)

47. My fav movie is Heathers (WELL FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW)

48. I have HORRIBLE eyesight but I don’t like wearing my glasses coz the arms give me a headache and I don’t like them period

49. I love bad puns too much (I would make one here, but I don’t wanna be PUNished) 😂

50. I’ve gotten caught drawing... and writing... some NSFW things at bad times...

AAAAND DAS IT! Sorry it was more negative than I thought it would be, but I’m a really boring person with a boring life filled with drama and... That makes no sense does it. A boring life doesn’t have drama... I’m dumb. Should’ve stopped at DASSIT. Ok, I’m actually stopping lmao baiii 😊

[tavrosian-disaster]

Looking Back At Anime I Enjoyed As A Middle Schooler

Hoo boy, I’ve been re-watching some old anime in my spare time and I’ve come to see a lot of bad stuff in anime I used to love. Time for me to look and whine about things in anime that I used to enjoy. There’s a lot of stuff I didn’t quite understand or realize were bad as a kid and then there’s just stuff I looked over.

So let’s see how my old favorites have fared. (Why am I even doing this?)

Soul Eater

Wonderful; Still love the characters, still love the plot, still love the animation style. However, something I used to look past: the absolutely unnecessary nudity. Sure, it’s kind of censored and never explicit, but it doesn’t need to be, it’s bad enough. Can we please have less random naked underaged girls? Seriously, in nearly EVERY EPISODE there is some scene involving an UNDERAGED GIRL seen partially naked and/or portrayed in an overly sexual manner. And don’t even get me started on Blair. I know she’s not underaged, but it doesn’t make it any less upsetting that she is naked 99% of the time and also a little too comfortable flaunting herself off to an underaged boy.

Angel Beats

Yeah, I still cried. A little less engaging than I remember it and a little mediocre too, but it’s still enjoyable and I still love the premise and the characters are fun. Music is lovely, as always. Nothing really negative though! Pretty solid!

Sailor Moon

Yes, I watched the old English dub as a kid, and while I realize it messes a lot with the more mature and serious tones and even censors thing unnecessarily, I will admit, I kind of enjoy the voices. I’ve seen it in Japanese and the story is much better told through it. Regardless, the show is just as fun as I remember, albeit, the fillers got really annoying after a while and I just wanted to get back to the plot. Ignoring this fillers though, the show was still great and very nostalgic and lord, I really do love the art style and aesthetic of the show, still to this day!

D. Gray Man

Man, I don’t know what to say, this show is still REALLY FREAKING GOOD. My opinion has not changed on it, though the ending feels a little weird and wonky to me, but this might just be because the mange was on hiatus before it could finish. Still an okay ending though. I love the characters so much and I just love the story and action and I just LOVE THIS SHOW!

Black Butler

Ugh... I don’t know what to say, I’m really conflicted on this show, which is sad, because I still have nostalgic feelings for it, but, it really does have it’s fair share of flaws. Quite a few.

Right off the bat, yeah, the oddly sexual parts are disturbing, but in it’s setting, it fits well enough to not be too bad. However a lot of it is still bothering to me. Now, while I am not sure about the rumor that Black Butler was originally intended to be a pedophiliac yaoi (there’s never been any real reliable sources and most of the quoted sources are vague and could easily be misinterpreted) but regardless, there are still scenes that clearly aim to please fans who ship Ciel and Sebastian, which, being a pedophiliac ship, is just bad. It’s bad.

I still love the characters and I love the gothic themes and aesthetic. I really do love this show. But... I can’t help but see it in a dirty light now. It’s upsetting to me.

Shugo Chara!

HEY LOOK IT’S MY ABSOLUTE FAVORITE MAGICAL GIRL SHOW! (It’s still problematic as heck though.),   

This show was my first anime that I got into in middle school and also the first manga (excluding the Zelda manga). This show is actually where I got my blue spade motif from (Miki was my favorite chara.)

Shugo Chara is still extremely fun and full of wonderful characters and great lessons about life and how to stay true to your heart and become be your very best self! It’s cheesy, but in a very fun manner and it’s a fresh take on Magical Girls! Mostly because the issues are very down to Earth, which sounds weird, but it makes it more fun. Also, I love that there are magical boys in this too, that is practically NONEXISTENT in anime. Albeit, very repetitive and full of fillers. THe manga is much more condensed. Not to mention the later seasons are just... awful. Season 1 is the best, Season 2 is fun and okay, but from there? Don’t bother.

Issues? The main ship, Amu/Ikuto is kiiiiiinda a nasty ship, looking back on it. Ikuto is 17 and Amu is 12. Ikuto is far too friendly with Amu right from the beginning and it is honestly, very gross and pedophiliac.

I didn’t really think this was weird as a kid. After all, it’s just a 5 year age difference, the same as parents. Know that I’m older, I realize that there is a BIG difference being a couple being 20/25 and 12/17. It’s not right and it’s gross.

THIS ship is what I find really icky about this show and it’s a shame that it’s so prominent in it. 

Oh, and there’s a one sided relationship thingy where Utau has a weird crush on Ikuto, her big brother. It’s played off as her being overly protective and loving of her brother, but... nah, miss me with that shit.

Durarara!

Still a great show. Weird, kind of philosophical, and above all, oddly intriguing. It’s just as good as I remember, if not somewhat less engaging. But that just may be because the narrative is one better enjoyed the first time around. Nothing bad here though, solid work!

InuYasha

Reeeeeeeally contrived plot that drags out waaaaaaay too much, but still enjoyable regardless. Gets very repetitive, and this even applies to the later episodes that I skipped way back when. However, I still love the characters and it’s a fun show and very nostalgic. Has some of the typical anime issues involving sexual content; “pervy” scenes that involve a guy making gross remarks to a girl and/or accidentally seeing a girl partially nude and getting blamed and hit for being a perv. I suppose you could argue that much of it is due to the brutish nature of the many feudal Japan enemies, but there are plenty of scenes that can’t be defended by this.

Oh, it’s also a very fun show to playfully make fun of with friends while eating junk food and binge watching, lol.

Puella Magi Madoka Magica

Yooooooo this show is still wildly as heeeeeeeck man!

I love this show, love it’s characters and love it’s twist on the magical girl genre. I was really expecting to see some gross theme I missed before or find it boring, but it was just as fun as I remember.

A nice bonus, too, is it’s length. It’s a perfectly paced show, not too long like many other anime.

Still a dang solid show!

Lucky Star!

Nostalgic, buuuuuuuut...

BORING. Opening heckin’ RULES and is damn CATCHY. But that’s it.

Next.

Fruits Basket

Eh, kind of the same as Lucky Star.

It’s... boring. I mean, don’t get me wrong, it’s still a funny show, but the romance is a lot more lackluster than I remember.

Also, there’s more weird incest stuff (mostly one-sided crushes, but, still...) and a couple of pedophiliac things every once in a while.

Overall, it’s just... kind of boring now. Meh.

Ouran High School Host Club

OH OH OH OH!

BUT ON THE OTHER HAND! THIS SHOW!

LORD HOWDY, guess how much I love this show!

It’s absolutely hilarious, has lots of genuinely cute and almost romantic scenes and a whole cast of fun characters! It’s got some issues, but it’s still a piece with some takes that I haven’t seen in anime without usually being annoying.

There’s the issue of the twins fake “forbidden, incestuous love” routine, but, while I’m 99.99% certain it’s made to be fanservice, the show and the twins themselves also make fun of the very people who enjoy that kind of stuff.

I really like the gender positivity that this show presents, even if it does kind of stick to typical gender roles. Haruhi is pretty obviously comfortable being seen as both a guy and a girl and her attitude about gender is refreshing for a romance anime such as this. She’s not a typical romance protagonist and I like that. And there are characters such as her dad who enjoys cross-dressing and, while relatively stereotypical, are not presented in a joking manner and the characters respect them and treat them as normal human beings.

It’s just a really fun show and I don’t think I’ve seen another show quite like it! It’s definitely the one anime I’ve re-watched the most, as it is also short, only 12 episodes, and doesn’t drag on.

Fullmetal Alchemist/Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood

Oh come on, why am I even doing a look back on this, it still heckin’ rocks and it’s the best shit I’ve ever seen, full stop.

Don’t even ask me questions, thank you for coming to my TEDTalk.

[anti-dennor]

masterpost on why mod norway hates den//nor a lot without mentioning kin stuff or specific ships that are better

disclaimer: this post isn’t to start an argument, the only reason I’m making it is to organize my thoughts about den//nor because @ adhd wyd. 

This is okay to reblog, but I will ignore any and all reblogs adding on things about how I’m wrong. This is based off a mix of opinion, canon and scientific evidence about attraction, and I really, really, don’t want to argue about den//nor, especially with people who ship it. So really, for the sake of my mental health and your time, don’t bother arguing with my stubborn ass. I’m not going to change my stance on this and there’s nothing you can say to change that.

contents: yaoi / it’d be unhealthy (for both of them) / the actual shippers / dynamic

yaoi.

I’m not saying I dislike gay ships, no. I live for gay ships, I’m a gay male, I love mlm ships. Big comfort material. I dislike yaoi, gay ships are fine and dandy. Yaoi is gross.

Yaoi (”Also called BL (Boy’s Love) and Shounen Ai, yaoi is a genre of manga that fetishizes m/m relationships and relies on homophobic stereotypes for plot and character devices.”), and fujioshis.

“In most yaoi mangas, there is one agressive masculine man who preys upon an usually much younger, submissive feminine man. It strengthens the homophobic myth of gay men being predators and pedophiles.”

Doesn’t that sound a lot how the fandom portrays Denmark and Norway? Denmark is canonically the same height as Norway (Well, Norway is like an inch shorter at most), and the two have about the same body shape. Yet what do y’all fujioshis do? Draw Norway as some femme boy that’s like a foot shorter than Denmark.

“It also relies on heteronormative stereotypes, where there are always strict uke/seme roles in bed, as well as a feminine caring and a masculine powerful dynamic in the relationship outside of the bed.  “

Again, what do y’all do? Make Norway super femme and oh so much smarter than Denmark, making Denmark the unhealthily powerful one -- Bringing me to my next point;

it’d be unhealthy (for both of them).

“They have known each other since childhood, but while Denmark considers the two of them to be like best friends and believes that Norway thinks the same way he does, he is unaware of Norway's blunt teasing.[7] Norway frequently refers to him as anko[12], a term Himaruya has described as having a nuance like older brother or oniichan, the familiar form of big brother, and having a classmate-like feeling.[13]”

“Main article: Norway

Norway is a childhood friend of Denmark's, who he feels rather close to and strongly about, believing that Norway sees him the same way as a "best friend." “

(source: Norways wiki & Denmarks wiki)

Since I’m not sure how to word it; lets take my parents for example; they’d been dating since they were 15 (fifteen) until they were like 23-24. My mom used to go over to his house every. single. day. because she felt more at home there than at her own home. They never argued, they were like a perfect relationship almost. Why they broke up? My mom, and I quote, “saw him more like a brother than a lover.” Which is a completely justified reason to break up! My parents have the same relationship as siblings. Now, if my parents felt like siblings after 8 years of growing up together; imagine the bond that Denmark and Norway have.

They grew up together for thousands of years! Meaning they’d be much, much closer than my parents were. So maybe they could’ve dated at some point in their history, but I can see them doing the same thing my parents did; break up because they felt like siblings/being best friends would be better. Plus, you don’t call your lover “brother”, even if you’re not actually related or don’t mean it as sibling-way especially if you have other, blood-related, siblings.

Why would a relationship be unhealthy for the both of them?

Because if they feel like brothers, then you get the same unhealthy benefits of actual incest from the Westermarck effect, “a hypothetical psychological effect through which people who live in close domestic proximity during the first few years of their lives become desensitized to sexual attraction.” Which, guess what, Denmark and Norway have known each other since childhood, 

Fujioshis turning the shp into yaoi + the westermarck effect; what do we have?

If you put the two into a relationship you’re implying that one of them is unconsciously forcing themselves onto the other. Or just, y’know, people straight up writing something like Danish Slaughter House - a fanfiction where Denmark straight up rapes and kills all the Nordics.

And speaking of Danish Slaughter House, let’s move on to the next point;

the actual shippers.

I don’t even know where to start with this one. I guess I’ll start with shamchat, a great site, I spend a lot of time there - as one of my biggest hobbies in the past few years is roleplaying. I have almost 2 years of experience with writing Norway. The thing is, when I come across Denmarks on the site it almost always, if theyre a Dennor shipper, starts off as something like:

Best friends hanging out -> Denmark asks Norway to do something with him -> Norway is busy -> Denmark gets sad -> Norway tries to make him feel better -> Denmark confesses feelings.

what? and then Norway will tell Denmark that he sees him as a brother or just doesn’t feel the same, and then there’s a long range of reactions I’ve gotten from Denmarks with this, some of the worst including being harassed ooc for not shipping it, being guilted ooc for not shipping it (@ my RSD, someone telling me that they’re crying because I don’t ship something just. x20 as bad as neurotypicals), Denmark trying to force himself onto Norway sexually, and there was actually one where they had Denmark threaten to kill whoever Norway had feelings for.

For fucks sake! Once I was on as FtM!Caught Binding!Norway because I was feeling incredibly dysphoric, and I had a Denmark threaten to out Norway to the other Nordics, while Norway was begging him not to, and when he finally agreed not to  - which took actually making Norway (and me for that matter, since I have really big emotional ties with Norway) cry - he immediately jumps to a confession, which Norway sorta tells him off because what makes anyone think after threatening to out someone as trans they’re gonna accept a uwu love confession uwu uwu, which in turn upset Denmark and the entire rp turns to them - Norway trying to make him feel better, telling him that he’s his brother and always will be, etc. Making the biggest effort to make him feel better, but no instead he runs away to his bedroom, locks himself in his closet and tried to stab himself to death.

Most of these were done while I was on mobile, so unfortunately I don’t have saves to them.

Am I upset that you people portray Denmark horribly? Of course. My point isn’t the portrayals of Denmark here, though. Because the canon portrayal of Denmark is actually pretty fit for Norway, not going to lie, but my point is about how the shippers pull bullshit like this when someone doesn’t like their ship, which again ties into the homophobia of yaoi.

“Many mangas in this genre also have a plot centered around rape (the seme/top rapes the uke/bottom, then the uke realizes he actually loves the seme and allows the relationship to continue), abuse (physical, where the seme will hurt the uke, or emotional, where either part will threaten things as far as suicide if the other part dares to leave them), pedophilia (shota is a subgenre of yaoi in which boys as young as 5-6 will have sexual relationships with middle aged men). “

Most of these I’ve actually had to deal with personally aside from the pedophilia/shota bit, while I’ve never actually done an rp with someone as Shota!Denmark (I skip anyone who thinks shota is ok), I’ve seen them around, along with Shota!Norways.

I’m not going to start with the amount of Denmark’s on shamchat idealizing Norway in every way, shape and form.

dynamic.

Admittedly, Denmark is an almost ideal guy for Norway personality-wise, with how socially inept Norway is (Which Denmark can still be there for him if they’re friends), but for Denmark, Norway isn’t super suitable. The idea that Denmark needs someone to keep him in check is a little, how do I say it, wrong. Denmark is over 2000 years old, he’s smart enough to keep himself in check, while it would be nice for him to have someone to be there to tell him “You’re being too loud” and to give him a little help here and there, best friends can do that, can they not? As for a romantic partner, Denmark would probably be better matched with someone who doesn’t have trouble complimenting people or doing things solely to please him.

Denmark has his self image as a priority, and as shown by the above strips I’ve given, Norway isn’t the best to give him that. Norway is better at subtly doing things for people he cares for, not outright stating and cheering for him - which I did try to find the part of a strip where Denmark was imagining Norway and Iceland cheering for him (Or something like that), I couldn’t find it, but that one in specific emphasizes that a romantic relationship between Denmark and Norway wouldn’t quite work the same way their brothery relationship works.

Everyone teases and gets into arguments with their siblings, (Which Norway does tease & occasionally insult Denmark) and you always know that everything your sibling says to insult you isn’t serious, but even though Denmark “blatantly ignores offensive and aggressive social tones ”, that doesn’t mean he doesn’t pick up on them and he holds himself up too high for it to be a healthy relationship romantically if for either of them if Norway isn’t going to be positive, Norway is kinda negative and Denmark contrasts that greatly, but if Norway can’t give Denmark flattery and self esteem boosts straightforwardly, then Denmark won’t be happy in the relationship, which makes him less positive, making him less ideal for Norway. Whereas if they just stay as brothers, it’s easier for Denmark to just brush off any teasing or criticism Norway might have.

As for romantic relationships for Norway, I did say earlier that Norway needs someone who’s positive, good at social interaction, cheerful, friendly, etc. He also needs someone who easily picks up on the little things he does and isn’t extremely high-maintenance when it comes to needing flattery. Someone that Norway doesn’t have to be straightforward with. While we’re at it, I’ll also mention why someone who isn’t these things wouldn’t work, Norway needs someone positive and good at social interaction because he’s not these things, (He’s said it himself, he is painfully shy around strangers as he resolved to leave upon seeing them; yes I’m ignoring that he did all that speaking right after he said that, this is because I’m going off the it was only there for comedic purposes and doesn’t mean anything), and he needs someone cheery/friendly to contrast himself (I’m not saying he isn't friendly! He is quite that, but isn’t great at expressing it.), since a relationship between two characters who are really apathetic about a lot of things would just end in them thinking theyre apathetic abt each other. Picking up on little things + not needing to be straightforward with is kinda self explanatory after the stuff about Denmark.

Anyways, back on track. Kinda? Conclusion.

I do like the “quiet one & loud one”/”opposites attract”/similar tropes a lot, but when it comes to Denmark and Norway it doesn’t quite work out as well as others might. Especially with fandom misportrayals, it kinda ruins the pairing for me.

[presumenothing]

"Can I at least put on my socks first?"

(send me a dialogue prompt!)

.

same anon also requested “dcmk, but please no yaoi (if you can help it)” 

…to which, let me just say that (a) I am honestly (and quite legitimately?) curious as to what prompted the last part from anon, and (b) apparently the muse took that as a sign to completely overreact and go to the other extreme? idk.

unedited as usual (and much longer than expected), hope you enjoy!

(AO3)

.

66. “Can I at least put on my socks first?”

Hattori Heiji is woken abruptly by the scream of a banshee.

…okay, not really – though with the really really weird run of cases he’s had with Kudo recently (they’ve discussed this, and come to the conclusion that it is pretty unexplainable even by their standards, which is saying something), it isn’t even a possibility that Heiji can dismiss out of hand anymore.

Anyway. It’s still an accurate analogy, if you replace the banshee with his handphone, which is vibrating madly on the bedside table at… Heiji has no idea what time it even is, except for being waaaay too early for anyone to be calling him.

He almost gives in to temptation to ignore it and go back to sleep (he is quite capable of sleeping through worse things, after all), but after a full minute of insistent ringing Heiji reaches just far enough to drag the phone over and glance at the screen.

Which, ow, because looking at a bright screen in a dark room isn’t the greatest idea, apparently. (Look, he knew that already, his brain just hasn’t fully started up yet, okay?)

Eyes now watering, Heiji squints against the glare until he manages to make out the caller’s name, which turns out to be… Kazuha? he thinks, somewhat dumbfoundedly, because Kazuha of all people should know that Heiji isn’t a morning person by any definition of the phrase. Heck, even his mum lets him sleep in on weekends, so why –

Heiji basically gives up on guessing at this point and accepts the call, then puts the phone on speaker for good measure before flipping it to face down. 

“Moshi moshi,” he mumbles with a vague attempt at coherence, though it’s probably rendered useless by him burying his face back into the pillow, because – ah, glorious darkness, he could go to sleep again…

Kazuha promptly puts a stop to that. “Heiji? You have to get up now, quick!”

He makes several noises of complete disagreement at this, before straightening up enough to ask, “Why, did someone die?”

“Did someo– oh my god, Ran-chan’s right, that’s all you detectives ever think about, isn’t it?” Kazuha’s voice sounds kinda tinny over the speaker, Heiji notes absently. “No, it’s not a case, do I sound like Otaki-keibu to you? Anyway, get dressed, or I’m coming over to drag you out of bed!”

Heiji sighs – he knows that particular tone in Kazuha’s voice, and it conjures the distinct possibility of a police cruiser arriving at his door in fifteen minutes if he doesn’t get up right now.

“Is there any way I’m getting out of this?” he asks anyway, because he (unlike certain detectives of the East) believes in being an optimist, and when that gets the expected negative response Heiji finally gives in and pushes himself upright with a yawn. “Fine, I’m up! But I’m gonna go right back to bed after this, because some of us actually need sleep.”

“You’re just lazy, Heiji,” Kazuha replies altogether too cheerfully. “I know you wake up at five before tournaments, don’t try to deny it. Now hurry up, if you’re not out of the house in five minutes you’re buying me lunch tomorrow!”

Heiji decides, wisely, to not point out the distinct lack of tournaments today. “Okay, jeez, can I at least put on my socks first?”

“Just don’t bother with finding a matching pair. Your sock drawer is a mess, Heiji, I’ve seen it,” Kazuha says in a longsuffering tone – which Heiji kinda deserves, admittedly, but it’s not like anyone cares about what socks he’s wearing anyway.

She waits another three minutes – during which Hattori Heiji, champion of multiple kendo tournaments, manages to stub his toe on three separate pieces of furniture while attempting to get dressed because he still refuses to turn on the light – before asking again. “Are you done yet?”

He picks up the phone from the bed and switches off the speaker. “Yeah, yeah, I’m heading out now. What’s the big emergency about, anyway? You still haven’t said.”

“You’ll see!” comes Kazuha’s reply, and Heiji blinks in surprise, because she sounds really excited all of a sudden.

(Or, some part of his brain suggests, she had been excited to start with and he just hadn’t been awake enough to notice it? 

Heiji stifles a yawn, conceding the point, and wonders briefly if Kudo ever had to suffer this kind of treatment. Granted, Neechan could punch through concrete, but he didn’t think she was cruel enough to wake Kudo at – he checks his watch – three-thirty in the morning.)

He walks through the house on silent feet, thankfully avoiding any further unfortunate encounters with various pieces of furniture, before reaching the front door and changing out of his house slippers.

A cold draft blows in as he unlocks the door, and Heiji shivers, glad he’d managed to find a pair of socks anyway, despite Kazuha’s lack of faith in his organisational systems.

The first impression he gets as he steps out into their front porch is that of blinding white, then – wait.

“Is it…” Heiji trails off, rubbing at his eyes in disbelief. “It is snowing, isn’t it.”

“Yep!” Kazuha agrees enthusiastically over the phone. “And a really heavy snowfall, too, I can’t remember the last time we had this much snow.”

That was… huh, Heiji couldn’t remember either. It certainly wasn’t recent, at any rate.

Heiji contemplates the garden for a moment, as it slowly but steadily vanishes under the cover of white, and snaps a few pictures, because it is quite pretty, he can agree about that much.

Then he puts the phone back to his ear. “Okay, I’ve seen it, so I’m going back in to sleep now.”

“What?” Kazuha actually sounds offended, which he hadn’t been aware could happen over the topic of weather. “No way!”

“Yes way,” Heiji counters, already making his way back into the inviting warmth of the house. “A snow that thick will still be around when I actually wake up later. Besides, couldn’t you have just asked me to look out the window, instead of dragging me all the way out here?”

“Where’s the fun in that? And stop whining, you’ll start sounding like an old man,” Kazuha grumbles.

“Well,” Heiji says as he reaches his room, “this old man would like to get some more sleep, so you have fun building snowmen or whatever it is you want to do. I’ll put the snow chains on the bike later so we can go out in the afternoon.”

“Fine, but I’m holding you to that, Heiji!” Kazuha says warningly.

“Yeah, okay.” He yawns, and flops back gracelessly onto the bed. “See ya later, Kazuha.”

She says something in response, but Heiji’s already asleep before he hears it.

.

.

…hm. feeling a little iffy about this, to be honest – HeiKazu isn’t a pairing I read particularly often, let alone write (ditto for Heiji himself too, actually), so tell me what you think?

also apologies for any inaccurate depictions of weather ok the author hasn’t actually experienced snow before lmao

[noelclover]

Off the Cuff 09/02/17

This is somewhat negative, but a reflection post. Why am I doing this at 0032 in the morning instead of drawing? I don’t know. I guess I hit that point where I just need to really get it off my chest. This will also probably get me haters, but fuck it.

Okay, so people who followed me way back probably know by now I wanted to find my center again before I came back. I only really wanted to bother making an account and such when maybe new year came around, but I got pestered. Fortunately, there was one person who’s account I really wanted to support, so it made things a lot easier for me.

As we can see, I didn’t get to find my balance well and that lead to well, weak art. Sometimes, we just need to take a step back and find our pace again and I really tried, but I stumbled about, fucked up a lot. Till now I strongly believe if I just went off like a hermit for a longer period of time I’d have been in a better position, which would have been better for everyone.

Another reason is because of what Tumblr itself: A tremendously sexist and racist site.

Yeah, Tumblr.

Quite a lot of you are racists and sexists, more than a few of you would gladly get up on a high horse and make tremendously hypocritical or bloody stupid statements that make me wonder if I should give in to my depression and buy some rope to make use of that hook in my room. To me humanity is laughable. We are creatures who would gladly, in the same breath, claim unity while at the same time promote segregation, who would gladly make everything an “US VERSUS THEM” scenario rather than sit down and discuss, share views and understand where the other party is coming from and Tumblr is great proof of it.

There is little love in this site, it’s full of hatred.

You know, I laughed when Trump talked. Not because I agree with him mind you, I don’t, but because he was so bloody honest with his bigotry. It is something I can respect him for, funny enough, because God knows I appreciate honesty in these times. And he was, to me, a good reflection for the various social justice groups that I found here.

Feminists who happily embrace misandry and claim it justified while misogyny would be a cause for a crusade, character assassination, when both are wrong, steps upon the path of madness. Vegans who go about damning their fellow man while taking a viewpoint that takes only the USA and not understanding things such as logistics and trade, or even the animals they claim to champion sometimes. Race groups who begin condemning members of another group because all trouble stems from them, and without any self reflection proclaim themselves to only be victims.

The madness, the hypocrisy of it all.

I’d cry if I weren’t too busy laughing.

“Oh, you’re only bothered now because it affects you!” I can imagine some saying. And I laugh at that because from when I was a kid I have never, ever condoned and agreed to such stupidity. I have always been puzzled, have always questioned people, at times in a literal fashion, when they say something so bloody daft. I’ve been bothered by it since I was little because it had always been nothing but madness to me.

It should never be a matter of us versus them. It should be a walk on the rocky road to understanding, a path of love and enlightenment, where we fully come to realize that it is our experiences, the similarities in our varied lives that help us empathize with one another, not because we have the same bloody skin colour, or genitals.

But here we are.

One of the posts I remember the best was that women were better at drawing yuri because they were women. I laughed very hard at that and asked “Explain yaoi?”, to which, in jest I received and formulated a reply with my acquaintance that “women knew what other women wanted to see, hence yaoi would be easy for them, and since they were women, they would know what yuri should entail!” Clearly, women are the superior sex when it comes to story telling because they were born with all the bases covered!

My goodness, I should kill myself now because I will never fucking amount to what the storytellers, the mangakas I love have accomplished because I’m a fucking male by birth. That explains why I long to be female! What a waste of resources!

There were more broad sweeping statements from other sources I read that cut deeply, all because they were rather stupid and spat in the face of hard work and meritocracy, all the while condemning and promoting the superiority of a sex. There were more posts, quite a bit more mind you and I was getting absolutely sick of it.

I still am.

But fuck it all. It doesn’t matter. Nothing really does. If this is the path the world takes, celebrating free speech as it claims dictatorship, celebrating love as it spews hate then that will be what it is. Sometimes I remind myself that I’ve got terrible health and if I’m lucky I’ll fuck off in three years.

It makes me feel slightly better really.

That’s all I wanna say. I’m gonna just go back to drawing and stay as the ignorant old fuck that I am. 0138.

[journeysintowebcomics]

Homestuck Liveblog #153

UPDATE 153: All the Pieces are Here

Last time Gamzee had completely fooled Terezi, and by extension, me. Yeah, he’s right now beating her with no remorse at all, and it’s awful to see. Yikes. Also, Jane is now asleep but her body, still under control of the tiara, has latched on Aranea like a tick. So let’s continue from there!

Writing this paragraph before starting. I’m predicting there’ll be a minimum of dialogue, the next fifty pages should have lots and lots of images. It’s bound to pass through real fast, isn’t it? Maybe I’ll go for 100 pages.

All these glitches make everything more ominous, in my opinion. It’s as if the world is going to shatter into pieces in any moment. Chances are that won’t happen, but who knows, maybe the end of Homestuck is the glitches making the universe explode. Thanks for nothing, Lord English, destroyer of paradox space.

Because Jake’s death wasn’t heroic or just, he revives, this time without hope powers. He is also right beside Terezi and Gamzee, just...watching. Gamzee continues hitting as hard as he can, dang. I’m kind of glad the glitches are obscuring the situation a bit. Rose, horrified, shouts for Gamzee to stop.

ROSE: Or, wait.  ROSE: Is this some sort of blackrom thing?  ROSE: I certainly hope not.

What the—Rose! This isn’t the time to be wondering if this is an obscure and weird alien romantic ritual! Stop standing there, go help Terezi! Even if it were a black romance thing, I think no one wouldn’t blame Rose for intervening. Terezi is getting her face smashed against the pavement. Anyone would intervene.

ROSE: I am the actual worst auspistice who ever lived.  ROSE: THE ACTUAL WORST!!!

Damn right you are; you’re just standing there! And Jake isn’t really doing much better, he’s just standing there and watching Terezi being suplexed. I know in real life a lot of people stand around and do nothing when they see someone being attacked or anything, so it isn’t something that came out of left field, but this is still rather frustrating to see. Gamzee slams Terezi so hard against the concrete it breaks, and she’s now hanging over the lava. Augh.

Kanaya and Karkaroni arrive right in that moment, finding Terezi in danger. There’s a rather cool sequence of lava seeping into the Skaia in Jane’s fork, and Jake and Rose finally intervene. Jake does it meekly, just asking Gamzee to kindly stop killing Terezi -- ...fine, Jake, you do that – and Rose takes a more hands-on approach, getting her wand ready. About time, Rose! Tge blast misses and impacts near Jake, making him fly away. Karkaroni had enough, he brandishes the sickle and swears to make a fight. Up on the building, Aranea struggles to pick up Brain Dirk’s katana with her psychic powers – no idea how that didn’t vanish away as well -- and then she arrives.

The Condesce is pissed. Oh, gee, who’d have thought that derailing the session like this would make her angry? Haha! Do you have a plan to counter the Condesce, Aranea? Did you expect her to arrive so soon? Everyone who is in the session seems to have converged in one place, this is getting good!

Aaaaaand because Hussie is like that, right when it gets good, it’s time for the so-called main act of Act 6 Act 6.

Oh, jolly. Well to his credit I’m happy it was now and not in middle of the intense events that are likely to happen. Now that’d have been annoying. Better get this Caliborn thing out of the way before things happen here in Jade’s planet! Besides, I admit I’m a bit curious how much Caliborn has progressed now.

Looks like he’s confident enough to mess with the manga book. Why do I have this strange sense of foreboding...again? I have it all the time when it’s about Caliborn, haha...okay, let’s get done with this. What artistic work do you have to show now, bud? As usual, here’s the warning: there’s a chance I won’t have much to comment about Caliborn’s antics. By now, dear readers, you may be aware I’m not a diehard fan of him. By now I tolerate him, but I’m not exactly reading his sections with excitement. Once again, I’m sorry for that.

Looks like Homosuck is getting into its equivalent of Act 5. There are the trolls. Krabkrab, Honk Friend – ‘friend’?! Is there something you’d like to share with the class, Caliborn? – Cape Douche, Smelly Horse Man, Other Guy, and Bull Horn Wimp. Oh, and all the female trolls, too, with no pejorative name other than ‘tha bitches’. Hah! Saw it coming.

The Beforus trolls are just everyone flipped and with a negative color scheme. Yeah, that’ll do...for the five seconds the trolls mattered. All these pictures go to the trash, because Caliborn has something better to show.

Hah! Okay, you got my attention, Hussie. Man Gaka Extraordinare! I’m amused, this may be worth a read, after all!

IT'S GOD'S GIFT. TO "THE YAOIS". MY RESEARCH TELLS ME.

Do you know that feeling of morbid curiosity one feels when one hears about something awful having happened in a video, and one wants to see how bad is it? Yeah, that’s what I’m feeling. I really like the giant watermark, though. That’s a good one, Hussie.

Well, to Caliborn’s credit, he has improved a lot from his first drawings, and he followed all the instructions about how to draw manga. Never let it be said Caliborn doesn’t motivate himself to improve himself!

This is truly “the yaois”. Manga Dave and Manga Karkat are here. What they do, hm, well, let’s say they’d both be upset to know how they’re depicted here.

IF YOU'RE CONFUSED, BASICALLY THE IDEA IS. YOU PRETEND THEM TO LOOK MORE LIKE GIRLS. TO MAKE IT LESS WEIRD FOR EVERYBODY WHEN THEY DECIDE TO TOUCH EACH OTHER. 

So that’s the key to draw manga. Haha! I know a handful of people from my school that’d have taken serious offense by that! Always with the finger on the pulse, Caliborn, eh?

Oh god, it’s American Comic Book Superheroine anatomy! We’re doomed. But yeah, other than the improved drawings, it doesn’t seem like this section of Caliborn’s intermission won’t differ much from the rest. Same old, same old, in terms of theme. The gals are dying in bloody ways. Yeah.

“Registered by the government as my legal artistic possession” Caliborn, you liar, there’s not even a government anymore.

SHE ACTUALLY THOUGHT SHE WAS GOING TO BE RELEVANT. KEEP DREAMING BITCH!

Right. So Caliborn may still have access to the radio tower? He knows what happened in the ghost bubbles. Well, not that it matters that much right now.

Oh my god, Caliborn has an OC.

...that is not what I expected. Dear reader, imagine that this here is what’s destroying paradox space. Imagine the big bad, Lord English, looks like that. Good thing he doesn’t, eh? Yeah, the skull, the hulking figure, and the billiard eyes does wonders when it’s about making someone threatening.

John arrives in middle of Caliborn’s games with his OC, and isn’t happy at all to see Caliborn. Thought so, what after seeing the kind of playing Caliborn does with those bad drawings of his friends.

HEY ASSHOLE, I'M TALKING TO YOU!

Oh, wow, he’s furious! I admit I underestimated how angry John would be. But yeah, another intense staredown. I’ll just...skip to the end of that sequence of images, thank you.

you're the one who vriska and her pirate pals are all trying to stop! it was you who put all this into motion in some way i don't really understand! which means you're responsible for like a trillion people dying, and universes blowing up, and all my friends getting scattered around and acting like idiots, and my dad being dead!

...huh. Well, that’s certainly...a bold accusation, John, and without anything to back it up, too. If what John said partly influences Caliborn to start doing everything he did once he was Lord English, hah, I wonder how John would react to that. It isn’t too farfetched to have that possibility in mind, I’d say, but if that were true, it’s possible there’ll be a second John to tackle the first one soon.

Turns out Caliborn is saying his monologue loud enough for anyone around to listen! I thought the narration was just text, not that Caliborn was actually saying it. Hah! It’d be kinda endearing if it didn’t come from Caliborn.

And then comes ‘game over. A flash file in Caliborn’s intermission. Um, well, that sounds a tad promising! Flash files are almost always great, I don’t see why this would be any different, Caliborn or not.

I’ll stop for now.

Next update: five updates