#okay but this is the first time i ever drew a pony and i think its pretty good

[betweenblackberrybranches]

Occasionally in my head i just read your url as Berry Branch and its sounds so hard like mlp name and i like fucking god. imagine having pony moot woah and i explode

- Was this review helpful? 👍 👎

Say hello to your new moot Berry Branch<3

[theautisticwriter]

Love Letters: Yandere! Helluva Boss characters X G/N Reader

Characters- Blitzø, Moxxie, Millie, Loona, Stolas, Asmodeus, Fizzarolli

Show- Helluva Boss

Genre- romantic, yandere

Summary- Mini love letters from your not so secret stalkers admirers!

Warnings- swearing, pet names, yandere themes, mentions of planned kidnapping, stalking, delusional characters, unwanted attention

Word count- 1.5K

Extra notes- I have a Hazbin Hotel version of this uploaded as well!

key: f/l = first letter of your name, y/n = your name, n/n = your nickname

———————————————————

By this point you know who it is y/n, I’m the only person COOL enough to send u romantic as fuck letters like the old people do

Sorry for eating the food u made last night, when i was raiding ur fridge it looked so fucking good (and it was, who knew u could cook :P). i left u a pony as a replacement, u can’t eat it but it’ll make u think of me ;) and that pony cost me a FUCK ton of money, collectors addition and shit. i know, bad fucking ass right??

the stupid shitty loud alarm u installed didn’t work when i came in, ud be much safer with me and loony. that’s the plan anyways babe, u have NO idea the fucking creeps that live down here, they’re all fucking animals and ur…not, a fucking asshole i guess.

i drew you smth (it’s the thing stuck on the back of the envelope with the glitter glu)

^glue

it’s me and u holding hands, like other couples do. we’re better than those corny fuckers tho, hence the crowns on our heads.

ignoring my texts, BLOCKING ME (still upset about this BY THE WAY) and then ignoring my very nice letters is kinda a dick move f/l, but it’s whatevs. everything is almost ready for ur move in. i cleaned up n everything :D

from the only bitch worth ur time,

blitzø

&lt;3 (ignore that, moxxie threw a gun at me and my hand slipped, might fire him)

———————————————————

Hiya sweet cheeks!!!

It’s Mills here, just checking in! Via letter! Ain’t that just the fanciest little thing? Mox said it’s the best way to show thought and care to someone, so here’s all my thoughts and care, just for you!

How’ve you been? Good I hope, I’ve been just peachy thanks for asking! My Ma and Pa are super excited to meet ya one day, they’ve even started planning the wedding! Now I told them to slow their horses down, and not the overwhelm ya, we’ll get to that don’t you worry darlin.

Im just so excited to write this letter for you! Ain’t it so romantic?? I’m practically squealing in delight at the thought of you opening this and swoonin’, that’s what you’re doing, right?

Now i’m writing this on my break, and my boss really needs me back in the game! I got employ of the month! Most amount of kills, with the best and bloodiest results baby!

Until next time sweetheart,

Your Mills! ♡

———————————————————

Hi y/n,

It’s Moxxie here, I was a little nervous to send this letter to you, but I always try to follow my heart, and my heart was telling me to communicate with you in the most romantic way I know how due to our current circumstances of being so far away. It’s hard, for the both of us i’m sure, but we’ll be okay y/n.

As much as I don’t get along with my father, he has been helpful with my preparations for your arrival. It’s a big deal, moving in together. I’m sure your anxious, I am too, but in the best way possible. Love is pure, and can make somebody feel whole, it’s a wonderful feeling. I never want that to be taken away from me, and you are the source of all my love. That’s why we need to be together, being only half a demon isn’t good for the soul.

We can do lots of fun things together as well, like go to the opera, or to musicals, or I can show you my shooting skills. My boss says that I have a pretty good shot, which is the biggest compliment he’s ever given me. And we can do things you like too, marriage is equal of course. Obviously, this will all happen later done the line, you’ll need time to adjust, and I understand that. I understand you.

I’m running out of room on my page, but I will write to you again tomorrow. Please respond? Just once, y/n? It’d be nice, to hold something from you since I can’t hold you yet.

All my love,

Your Moxxie <3

———————————————————

Uh, hi?

Wait, you don’t put ‘uh’ in letters do you? Or put wait whilst you think, fuck shit fuck

Sorry, I’m new to this. Normally I just send a text to people but, your phone is off at the moment I think? Or you lost it? Or you blocked me?

Either way, I’ll send you these stupid letter things until it’s back on. So, uh, what are you up to? Blitz has been up my ass about meeting you, heads up, when I come get you and bring you to our room he’s gonna go all psycho dad mode and integrate you, but he’ll back off after a while. He’s a dick sure, but he does want me to be happy. And your, likeable or whatever, so i’m sure you’ll get along.

Once you get comfortable at home with me, Blitz said you could work with me at I.M.P. You’ll be like the co-secretary or something. You won’t be put in danger, I won’t let that happen, you’ll just get to sit with me. We can watch things together, if you wanted.

I guess i’ll see you soon, how do you end these?

See you,

Love from,

Regards?

Bye y/n,

Loona.

———————————————————

My dearest y/n,

I hope this letter finds you well. I yearn for your presence here, besides me. It’s quite lonely without you, I will admit my dear. It would be oh so wonderful if you could write back. I understand you may be preoccupied with your current activities, but I can’t help myself from desiring a response. I know, it’s selfish of me to expect you to reply to my letters when you’ll be here with me shortly, but I can’t keep my thoughts at bay at the moment.

Your face is a constant in my mind, night and day, asleep and awake, your voice in my mind calms me when I need it most, your smile brightens the bleariest of moments and so on. You can imagine the difficulties I’m facing with no response from you, but that’s alright. If you can’t write back to me dear, I won’t pressure you. Your time is precious, and we will have all the time in hell quite soon. Isn’t that exciting?

I can give you the life you deserve n/n, any luxuries or mundanities you wish for will be handed to you on a silver platter. Or a golden one, if that’s more to your liking? We can properly discuss the specifics once we are together. How thrilling, the though of you and I together at last.

We truly are written in the stars!

Yours until the end of the sky and then some,

Stolas.

———————————————————

Hey there baby,

It’s been a while, huh? I’m sorry if you feel neglected babe, it’s so hard keeping in contact with you when you’re so far away hun. Wouldn’t it be so much better if you were here with me? Sure I’ve got a lot of meetings, being a sin and all, but I’d be at your beck and call n/n, you could even be my new excuse to leave those awful “business” discussions. They barely talk business with me, it’s just complete bullshit babe.

I know the lust ring can be intimidating, we have quite the reputation, but I assure you, love is not a foreign concept to me. Romance is one of my most favourite things! Though that’s a secret, let’s keep that between us, yeah? That side of me is reserved for you n/n.

It’s so boring over here without you, I feel like i’m just lounging around and last time I checked, I was the lust sin, not the sloth sin. We’d have so much fun together babe! Can’t you picture it? Even if you can’t yet, I can wait. Having you near me will be enough, you are enough just as you are.

Sincerely yours,

Asmodeus (Ozzie) xoxo

———————————————————

Heya cutie!

Letters are a lot harder to write than I thought they’d be y’know? I’ve rewritten this like 16 times already, sheesh. It just feels so awkward, I can’t see your reaction to my words which means I can’t fix any mistakes I’ve made :(. I’m sure I haven’t made any though! Right? This letters going really well so far and is definitely wooing you, right, y/n?

Hah, I’m asking questions as if you can reply right away. Silly old me, I don’t know what i’m worrying about! We’re meant to be together. I know it’s super sappy, but we’re like soulmates. Soulmates are bound to be together! That’s why I’m bringing you home soon, I can’t wait! I’ve got sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many awesome tricks to show you!

And, the best news, I quit my job!! ༘⋆-ˋˏ ༘⋆-ˋˏ This means, we will have a LOT more time with each other, and you don’t have to worry about Mammon being possessive over me, because fuck him! I’m my own clown! Or, well, your clown.

I can’t wait to see you! This is going to be great for us, I pinky promise :P

Love from,

Fizzarolli !!!! ༘⋆!!,-!ˋˏ!!!

———————————————————

[xxfangirl365xx]

Question: "What is a day you'll never forget?"

Ghoul's answer: The Day we met Show Pony

NOTE: Written in my wattpad a few months ago, i posted Jet's and Kobra's here so here is Ghoulie's (:

Mine predates all of the other guys' stories and it's kinda sappy but why not. Mine was the day I met my fellow prankster Show Pony. Despite popular belief they didn't just roll up and start hanging around with us.

The four of us ( Poison, Kobra ,Jet and I) had been in the zones about a year and had pretty well adjusted to life out in the middle of nowhere. We were on patrol by ourselves, one of the first times Dr.D let us do that alone. Basically we got to drive around all day, nothing usually ever happened. On this day in particular we were on our way home and spotted something off in the distance...Dracs? Possibly. We drew out ray guns and headed over only to be met with a horrifying scene of three people, all fairly young, seemingly dead.

"Dear Destroya" Poison remarked observing the sad scene

They definitely had just escaped the city and made it pretty far into the zones...unfortunately they were unarmed and didn't stand much of a chance.

Jet went to the three and looked to see if by some miracle they were alive. First two were a sad head shake no.

The third person had long dirty tangled black hair and was maybe about 17 years old...about the same age as me. Jet gently grabbed their wrist expecting nothing and were were all shocked when he found a pulse.

" Guys! This one's alive!"

" They're bleeding from somewhere on their head" Kobra noted, hiding behind his brother, scared for who knows what reason.

It's not a secret that I hate blood, I get a paper cut and nearly pass out and the guys make fun of me for it a lot, but this time it didn't bug me, I was much more bothered by the fact this poor kid was now hurt and alone laying next to their dead friends. I wasted no time In gently picking them up and we headed back to the car so we could go back to the diner and hopefully help this kid. I rested their head in my lap to keep them as comfortable as I could on the ride home. I took my vest off and covered them with it because it was getting cold. I felt really bad, you know, I was so lucky to have found a good group to rely on and call my family and I think this made me realize how fortunate I really was. This kid needed a friend and I decided to be that friend.

We got home and I carried their limp body in the diner and laid them on an extra mattress we had.

" YO DR.D" Poison yelled

" What's up boys?" He asked coming into the room a few seconds later ( this was before he hurt his leg)

"We found this wanderer on the route home" Poison explained " Their buddies were dead but they're alive for the time being"

He stood over my shoulder looking at the kid

" Should I call a doctor?" he asked after a second

" Aren't you a doctor?" Kobra asked confused

He laughed, realizing he had never clarified where that title came from

" It's just a name, I ain't got a degree to back it up. I don't know shit about medicine" he continued

" Ohhhhh..." we exclaimed in unison

"I'll call someone" He said leaving the room

I sat next to the kid for a while, just watching the rise and fall of their chest for what seemed like hours until an actual doctor came.

He looked them over before coming to the conclusion they were in perfect health other than a head injury.

" Just keep a close eye on them for the next few days,once they wake up they may be a little out of it but I'm sure they will be okay." He said before him and Dr.D went outside to smoke a cigar and gossip for a while.

" Well, you heard him. I guess they're gonna be alright" Jet said. "Well' I'm gonna go change the tire on the Trans-am, it's got a leak."

" I'll come watch." Poison said , Kobra following right behind his brother

Jet poked his head in the doorway after a second.

"You coming Ghoul?"

" Nah, I'm gonna sit with them." I said

" alright"

I sat for a while enjoying some silence until the kid began to wake up. Of course I had never been in a situation like this before.

I sat next to them and gently moved the hair out of their face.

"Ugghhh-shit" they mumbled groggily

'"Uhhh...Um.." what are you supposed to say in this situation?! " He-y?"

They looked over at me and the first they they said...I kid you not was

" Why do you have a bee on your sleeve?"

I looked at my shirt sleeve..I do have a bee on my shirt. Huh...good observation.

" Who...are you? You look funny." They said again

" I'm Fun ghoul, I'm Killjoy." I explained " what's your name?" I asked, unsure if they could answer that question. To my surprise they answered rather quick

" I've been waiting foreverrr for someone to ask me that. My name's Show Pony." They said slurring their speech.

" Nice to meet you, Show Pony... How ya feeling?"

"I dunno" they giggled

"Looks like you hit your head pretty bad huh?"

" I think so" they said continuing to giggle like a crazy person

" What's so funny?" I asked starting to laugh too

" The room's spinning it's like a carnival ride"

" Oh yeah that is fun- do you like carnivals?"

"Yeah...no clowns though"

" Oh you don't like clowns?"

" nu uh they're creepy and smelly...am I smelly? The dessert is gross." They thought for a second before they started crying

" Am I a clown? I'm weird looking and I smell" they said in between tears

I forgot the kind of wack mood swings that happened when you were going through withdrawals from BLI brainwash drugs.

'"Hey, you're not a clown, don't cry" I said, trying to comfort them.

Without a second though I knelt down further and hugged them.

They stopped for a second and were perfectly still.

" I overstepped and made them uncomfortable!" I said in my head " Oh Ghoul you idiot!"

To my surprise they hugged back and quietly whispered

" Thank you"

I spent the rest of the night doing my best to take care of Show Pony and just chatting and giving them a hard time while they tried to tell lame jokes such as this fun one at 2:07 AM

" Hey Ghoul Knock Knock"

"Who's there?"

" Boo"

" what?"

" Nooo you're supposed to say boo who!"

" Aww don't cry Pony"

" Your a jerk"

Show Pony became very good friends with us all and impressed Dr.D with their intense knowledge of music and when he started his station he made Show Pony his official helper.

So yeah, I love Pony, they're one of my best friends no matter how annoying they can be, one of my favorite people and a part of my large Zone family.

Anyways that's my story, see ya later

-Fun Ghoul

[keefwho]

July 17 - 2023 Monday

8:27 PM

I had decided to password protect this blog to make it totally private but the truth is I don’t want to do that. I hate talking to myself. I’d rather it be public even if no one is actually reading it. I feel better having things out there. I do wonder about the harm it could do though if people close to me see such unfiltered thoughts. I wouldn’t have to worry about that if I hadn’t linked it to my other Tumblr awhile back. Maybe I can change the URL, unlock it, and maybe shake the graphics up to not clearly be me. Maybe it would be nice to almost be incognito despite the fact that I say enough personal things on here to probably figure out who I am. Maybe the goal will be to intentionally be more vague and secret. 

11:06 PM

Today was okay. Breakfast was potstickers and spicy ramen which was good but I did worry slightly if it would be okay on my tummy despite eating it before. I did well with work today, I like what I’ve been doing using color in my sketch sheet. I drew the first porn of my newest pony OC Avena today. After this I have one last big commission to do this month from the guy that pays double to have it done. I did my leg workout but I don’t think it’s enough so I planned to fill my 2 workout-free days with small leg workouts. I just really want that ass and know I gotta work hard to make it happen. Lunch was a hot dog and a macaroni cup. I think I did a good job on today’s request and made just a little more progress on my bathroom world. I spent some time in my friends server as usual and had fun, I’m just starting to make more consistent conversation with more people there. I still don’t know if I feel it clicking but I will give it more time. It will at least hold me over until I find people that do click better. After work was done I felt inspired to draw a little bit more. After THAT I started to feel lost as usual. I had trouble figuring out what to do that would bring me meaning. I know I like VRchat so I hopped in for a bit to try and socialize. I did have a happy little conversation with this brand new player. He is a 31 year old guy who got his Quest 2 days ago and was hopping worlds. I thought he was a furry because I joined a public “Verified Furry” group instance but he was not associated with that. He just happened to pick this cartoony goat avatar. He was nice to talk to, socially adept unlike the few furries that joined and crowded our conversation. He didn’t stay on for too long though because of his headset’s battery life. I told him he could join me whenever, especially if he gets his Quest hooked up to his PC like he plans to on Wednesday. After that I tried hopping to find more people but had no luck. Another friend joined on me that I didn’t quite want to put up with and as usual he tried fucking the first people we met. I was honestly just super hungry at this point so I got off to make dinner. I watching Twitch until my bestie called and we chatted just a bit before she fell asleep. Ever since I’ve been watching someone stream Novel AI to write a funny little story. I thought about using it myself to write smut just for me even though I stand against using AI for creative means. In this case though it would be totally private for my use. Not sure I will actually put the time into that though. During this time I also made a happy little graph on my time tracking sheet to visualize how much I work per day compared to the rest. I love data like that.

[wheelsup]

okay but can you imagine spencer washing your hair for you?

like, i never (ever) let anyone (at all) touch my hair, but i feel like he'd be really gentle about it, and there is just something so soft and tender to me about the idea of washing someone's hair for them 🥺

that’s my dream <3 ik you didnt specifically ask for a blurb but i think about this very often. i wrote two versions of this, but this one (with two bickering best friends who are v much in love) won my heart. 

wc: 1.6k   contains: friends (to crushes, maybe ;) ), injured reader. gn!reader

-

“Spence, I promise you that I can do it by myself,” you huffed, attempting to yank off your tank top as you walked toward the hotel bathroom, using only one arm while trying to keep the other as still as possible.

“I’d be more inclined to believe you if you didn’t sound like you were going to cry,” he snickered, following hot on your trail as you tried to escape his hovering. 

“You’re being dramatic.” 

“Oh really? Lift your arm up, then.” He leaned his hip against the marble counter, crossing his arms over his chest as he waited for you to do it. One obnoxiously smug eyebrow arched on his forehead.

Sometime during the case, you’d gotten into a brief tousle with a suspect, who just had to run away when approached. If Morgan had been there, you wouldn’t have even batted a lash, but he wasn’t. So not only had you detained him by yourself, you also wound up with a minor pulled muscle in your shoulder. 

You shot him a sarcastic smile, toothless and irritated, and raised your right arm into the air. He let out an airy scoff. 

“Other one, smart ass.”

Your arm dropped down to your side, your smile falling with it as you turned sharply towards the shower. 

“Look, I’m disgusting right now. So either I suck it up and shower, or you’re going to smell me until the day we solve this case.”

Spencer’s nose crinkled at the gross truth. He wasn’t ungentlemanly enough to tell you, but sharing a bed with a coworker was quite a quick way to discover if they were in need of a shower or not. Your shoulder might be out of service, but both of you could agree that hygiene was a bigger priority. 

“You can’t even move. Just… just let me help you.”

You snorted. “Nice try, Reid. I’m not letting you shower with me.”

He rolled his eyes at your use of his last name. You only called him that when you were annoyed with him. He pushed off the counter and turned to the wall, hitting the light switch and earning a shriek from you as the room suddenly went dark. 

“I won’t look,” he shrugged, amusing no one but himself. 

“You’re a clown, you know that?” you muttered under your breath, drawing back the shower curtain and fumbling around, searching for the knobs in pitch black. “Absolutely fucking theatrical.” 

You found them moments later and ran the water, testing the temperature on the back of your hand. By the time it went from cold to warm, you noticed that he still hadn’t moved. From the sliver of light peeking under the door, you could make out just his silhouette in the corner, perched on the vanity. 

He was being stubborn about this. That, and the comforting fact that you couldn’t see a single thing –– thankfully, not even his face –– wore you down.

“Close your eyes,” you murmured. 

“It’s already pitch black in here ––”

“Close your eyes, Reid.”

Sighing through his nose, he did just that. To make sure you knew it, and also maybe just to be annoying, he made a show of getting off the counter and turning himself around to face the wall. You peeled out of your clothes as quickly as you could. In the process, you caught the long shower curtain under the heel of your foot and, as you stumbled over it, accidentally dragged it along, sending the metal curtain hooks screeching as they slid along the bar.  

The second you found your ground, you immediately shot daggers into the back of Spencer’s head, waiting for him to make a joke. As if he could feel them, he bit back his quip. Not without letting a barely contained cackle slip under his breath. 

“Okay,” you warned, stepping into the shower. Grabbing the end of the shower curtain, you pulled it tightly over your body to cover yourself as you poked your chin out to talk to him. “I’m in.”

Spencer turned and approached the shower, eyes still shut with his hands out in front of him, feeling the walls for guidance. He was still mocking you for making him close his eyes. You raised your brows; he must’ve thought he was quite funny. 

“You look like Velma when she loses her glasses.”

That knocked the funny bone right out of him. His hands dropped to his sides.

“Just get your hair wet and hand me the shampoo.” 

You drew the curtain shut again as you dipped your head under the shower stream, coming back moments later with sopping wet hair and a little bottle of complimentary hotel shampoo. 

He let you sit on the floor of the bathtub, just slightly removed from the spray of the water. Your back was to him, as he kneeled down on the tile floor, just outside of the bathtub so he didn’t have to get wet. You bent your knees to your chest, resting your chin on them.

Spencer first pushed up the sleeves of his sweater as far as he could before deciding to remove it altogether for the sake of protecting the wool against stray water. The cuffs of his work shirt were unbuttoned and rolled up to his elbows as he got to work.

Taking a healthy quarter-sized amount of shampoo into his palm, he lathered it between his hands before running soapy fingers through your scalp. The pads of his fingertips softly dug in as he carefully massaged the shampoo in.

When he started working his fingers in patterns, putting pressure near your temples and increasing it as he dragged them up the curve of your scalp, you let your eyes close. He was getting rid of a headache you didn’t even realize you had. 

The tension you’d been carrying in your shoulders eased a little, and it made him think about how much you probably needed this. One of his hands came down to massage the muscle between your neck and your good shoulder, knowing it was best to just let the hot water do its magic on the bad one. 

When the shampoo had been sufficiently lathered, he stood up and detached the shower head, bringing it down to you so you didn’t have to move. You leaned your head back for him as he carefully rinsed the soap out.

You weren’t going to ask, but thank God Spencer told you to hand him the conditioner next. This, he slathered all over the ends of your hair, making sure all of it was sufficiently covered in conditioner before loosely twisting it into a low, makeshift pony for you. 

“Mm. I was about to ask how you’re so good at haircare,” you chuckled lowly to yourself, in a half-sleepy voice with your forehead resting on your knees. Dangerously close to falling asleep. “Then I remembered what you used to look like.”

You had a lazy smile on your face just thinking about the days where Spencer’s hair used to be down to his shoulders. He looked so pretty like that (not that he didn’t look pretty now, too), you always wondered why he got rid of it. 

“Remember when I got shot in the knee?” he hummed, returning to work your shoulder. He adorned a tiny smile of his own as he started to reminisce. “You came by my house at least once a week. Brought me meals, watched movies with me. Helped distract me from the pain. Even drove me to my physical therapy appointments.” 

You mm-hmm’d that you remembered.

“You pretty much did everything shy of helping me bathe. Though, I feel like you would’ve helped with that, too, if I asked.”

You both laughed at that. You hadn’t really noticed the parallels of your situation, being injured and needing his help for once. He was happy to repay the favor. 

“I’ll, uh. Let you wash your body yourself,” he said, coming out of his daydream for a moment. He rinsed his hands off and got up, patting down his wet hands on his trousers. With one nod from you to confirm that you’d be able to do it, he quickly exited the bathroom to give you privacy. 

You emerged seventeen minutes later, clad in pajamas with towel-dried hair. Spencer was still awake as you crawled onto the bed beside him, more than ready for bed after that. He looked to the side to ask you how the rest of your shower was, and before he could get it out, you shuffled up next to him, winding one arm around his and resting your head on his chest.

“I take it you had a good shower?” he laughed. This was one of his “I told you so” moments, and for once, you didn’t mind it. 

“Mhm,” you smiled, chuckling behind it as you shut your eyes. You were falling asleep fast. “Spence, the scalp massage…” 

“Was good, right?” he boasted, inflating his own ego a bit. 

You nodded against his shoulder, not caring if you helped blow up his ego another two sizes. Burrowing deeper into the covers, nestling tighter against Spencer, you got one more quip in before falling asleep. “S’good that I think I have a crush on you now.” 

Joke or not, he pulled the blanket higher until it reached your chin, holding you with both arms and kissing the top of your head before falling asleep himself.

*

*

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[liz-allyn]

shudder, part 3/6 [agent mobius x gn!reader]

You're undercover on a mission with the team, and Mobius' affinity for cowboy culture is making things unexpectedly difficult.

Part 1 | Part 2

Series Summary: Pre-Loki series. You are one of the most dangerous variants the TVA has ever recovered, but Mobius knows what makes you tick. Five times he made you shudder, and the one time you returned the favor.

Words: 1.6k

Chapter Warnings/Tags: Language, period/canon-typical gun violence, cowboy!Mobius (valid as a warning), mutual pining, flirting, fluffy and fun, at least one naughty thought.

A/N: let me know how you feel about longer chapters!

III.

The next time it happened, it was 1881, and you looked ridiculous.

Your clothes were too tight and the leather smelled like the cattle you were wearing was still alive. You didn’t get to pick your uniform for this mission, and since you were supposed to be deep undercover in an active timeline scenario where reset charges were not permitted, wearing a TVA-issued “Variant” jacket wasn’t going to work.

So now here you were, sweating your ass off in what would one-day become the Las Vegas desert, with your partner wearing a giant 10 gallon hat holding a revolver to your back. He definitely looked ridiculous, and you let him know that. But to be fair, it was almost... cute. Sort of.

Variant T-3051 was the target, this stagecoach robbery at gunpoint was the trap, a Skrull artifact locked in a safe was the bait. And you were technically also bait, disguised as the hapless hostage.

Mobius laid it on extra thick for this one; you were pretty sure he was enjoying himself.

“Easy does it, fellas,” he said in a honeyed voice. “Everyone move nice and slow.” With one hand on your shoulder and one hand on the gun trained on your back, he urged you forward with a gentle double-squeeze near your collarbone. It was a little secret communication between you two. “Keep your hands up where I can see ‘em, sweet thing.”

You struggled not to overtly roll your eyes as you lifted your hands slightly higher. You were 99% sure that Mobius had never held a revolver in his life and probably didn’t know how to fire one. The man’s idea of excitement is debating top historical time periods at lunch with you or fantasizing about jet skis. Or whatever he fantasizes about.

You glanced at the team around you, a mix of Minutemen led by B-15 - on a giant ass horse holding a rifle steady with only her eyes visible behind a black bandana, and a band of outlaw civilians who were T-minus 9 minutes from their destined massacre. The mission, simply, was that one of these people was not like the others.

U-91, also dressed as a Frontierland cast member, barked an order to hand over the chest or else. While he was monologuing on about whatever “else” was, you were scanning the group carefully waiting for the Skrull variant to reveal himself. Or you were, until—

“Hey,” you heard Mobius softly whisper behind you. You glanced to the side without turning around as he leaned closer to you. “Nice work infiltrating the gang.”

You could feel the heat of his breath on the side of your neck, and your stomach was doing something odd because of it.

“Okay,” you whispered back, trying not to move your lips. “Now is an inappropriate time to—”

“Where did you learn to ride a horse like that?” he exclaimed under his breath. “That was incredible.”

You weren’t sure if it was the anxiety of the situation, the harsh sun off the surrounding mountain range, or his praise that was making your skin flush.

“Um,” you softly replied, taken aback that he was actually impressed, “I mean- my aunt used to have this pony ride business. They’d do birthday parties—”

U-91 snapped at you, the talkative hostage, “Hey! I said shut up!”

Mobius reared back his grip on your shoulder and suddenly you crashed back into his chest. You cried out as he wrapped his arms like a vise around you.

“That’s right, I said shut your trap!” he hissed at you, playing to the audience around him.

It wasn’t often that he got to play the bad guy, but he gave it a valiant effort. You could feel the (hopefully) unloaded barrel against your back. He brought his other hand up to your throat, firmly squeezing, pulling a gasp from you.

He leaned into your body, pulling you tightly against him, as he dripped sugar-coated poison in your ear. “Not another peep outta you, ya hear?”

The first thought that sprang through your head was remembering your kink for authoritative bad boys.

Uh-oh, was the second, third, and fourth thought in your mind.

Your core was tight and you realized how heavily you were breathing when his grip loosened slightly from your throat, slipping down just a tad. You felt the warmth of his hand and resting on the skin of your chest. B-15 was already giving orders, but your brain wasn’t following the conversation anymore.

“Are you okay?” Mobius breathed in your ear. “I didn’t hurt you, did I?”

You slowly exhaled the heat of your breath, shaking your head ‘no’ and ‘yes’ for some reason. You could feel your pulse thrumming in your neck and you knew he could feel it too.

“Did I scare you?” he asked, inquisitively. You could hear the edge of a grin in his voice.

Your brow furrowed. “What?”

“Did I scare you just now?” Your eyes darted back to the group of outlaws as B-15 began to round them up. You were definitely supposed to be paying attention to the mission, but all you could think about was how heavy his hand was on your chest. He could curl you into himself if he wanted to.

If he wanted to, and if you wanted him to, he could keep playing cowboy outlaws. He could steal you away from your bed in the middle of the night. Or maybe he could turn you in for a bounty and visit you while you’re locked in a jail cell, making you do favors for him in exchange for freedom…

Uh-oh.

He leaned in a little closer. You could feel the shadow of his lips at the nape of your neck. “I felt you shudder just now... Did you get scared?”

“No!” You replied, almost too loudly.

“Oh. Are you cold?”

“What? Why?”

“I mean, if you’re trembling and it’s not because you’re cold, and it’s not because you’re frightened, there must be some kind of reason, right?”

Your face was burning. You’re pretty sure it’s the sun. Heat stroke. You’re dying, probably, definitely, maybe.

You gritted your teeth. “Why. Are. We. Talking about this?!”

“It’s not me, is it?” he replied coolly, like taking a sip of bourbon and lemonade on a hot day. You could hear the smirk on his lips. “You’re not intimidated by me, are you?” His cast his eyes over your rosy cheek with a satisfied gaze. “Maybe I make you a little... nervous?”

“WHA’THUH HELL—?” A terrified twang rang out and you both were snatched out of the clouds. You looked up to see a green-faced cowboy, cow-Skrull? Skrull-boy? - hostile variant reach into the the side holster of one of his outlaw posse. As soon as the Skrull had his hands on his “partner’s” weapon, he shot his partner through the back, killing him (just a few minutes before his time).

Variant T-3051 was fast. As B-15 fired her rifle, he was already pulling another stunned outlaw in front of him as a shield. T-3051 raised his gun towards B-15 and fired towards her horse. The animal raised up on its hind legs, bucking her off.

“Take cover!” Mobius ordered, pulling you down with him, but there wasn’t much around.

T-3051 fired a shot blindly, striking U-91 in the arm. He dropped to the ground and crawled in a one-arm dash for cover.

In the chaotic confusion and fear, the other outlaws drew their weapons and began to fire on the TVA team and each other.

The horse that B-15 was riding began to trot off, trampling a fleeing outlaw. B-15 struggled to grab her weapon off of the ground, but T-3051’s boot dropped down on the rifle, pinning it beneath his foot. She looked up to see the barrel of T-3051’s gun pointed at her, sights trained.

You had already grabbed the single-action revolver out of Mobius’ hand. He reached for you, but you leapt out of hiding with his gun raised high.

You shot the gun out of the variant’s hand before he could fire. Stunned, T-3051 dropped backwards onto the ground as the other handful of living outlaws turned their attention towards you. With one hand rapidly pulling back the hammer as the other hand steadied your aim and squeezed the trigger, you knocked them down like bowling pins.

A few shots later and it was over. T-3051 attempted to crawl towards the stagecoach, but B-15 leapt on his back and collared him. With a push of the button, he was frozen in time.

“Target acquired,” she stated into a radio, winded from the skirmish.

Mobius jogged towards U-91 as he pulled himself to his feet. He deftly inspected the Minuteman’s injury. “U-91 is injured,” he reported into his own communications device. “Alert the infirmary. B-15?”

“All clear,” she nodded.

Mobius’ eyes searched the area frantically until they rested on you. You walked up to the safe as B-15 retrieved the alien artifact - a twisty, metallic, (oddly) phallic-shaped thing.

You snorted. “This is the bomb that could rip a planet in half?” you asked incredulously.

If you didn’t know any better, you thought you saw the tiniest smile on B-15’s lips. She radioed in, “Artifact is secure.”

Grinning with an amused chuckle, you glanced over and spotted Mobius gazing at you proudly, watching the sun rise and set in your smile. You felt your cheeks flush, dropping your eyes to the ground and biting your lip. God, this was bad. He could not look at you like that.

“Incredible,” you heard him breathe.

Part 4

A/N: Did you like it? Reblog & let me know! Also seriously, I feel like my chapters are getting long. If that’s a bummer for anyone, please say so.

@aloyssia @generalhugzzz

[starkwub]

love pony starker!!! was wondering how their pony filly looks like and talent mark

Okay first and for-most, I’m so glad to hear you’re enjoying the pony starker content!! I really love making content for it so I’m happy to hear you’re interested in seeing/learning more <33

So initially I wasn’t too sure if you meant Tony and Peter as a colt, or if you meant their kid + the new mark, so I drew both XD

After I drew these I decided to have them have another foal, but this time a young filly— so a sketch and color of that pony (+ info) shall be coming out soon! :)

So their first born, I named Kozak :D

He basically got his strong magic from Tony’s side of the family, and the fur patterns from Peter’s side since Tony’s dad was vehemently against marrying a pony with any kind of markings.

I’m planning on drawing out both Tony and Peter’s parents (fur pattern, etc) so it’ll make more sense then, I think, where the gene attributes came from!

So Kozak is in some ways the embodiment of what a “good future” looks like. Since he grew up with Tony, one of the richest pony’s out there, and Peter, who didn’t grow up with a whole lot more than the bare necessities, he kind of took on both perspectives, and thus has a different out-look than most would around him.

He’s a medical pony at heart, but as stated above in the info sheet on the art, his dad’s magical markings kept with the family (he will be the only one in the blood-line to keep the markings and their consequences, his sister or any other children born after him within the family will not receive it)

He loves plants as well and is very eco friendly! :)

One of his downsides though is that he can be a bit bull-headed at times. He can get up in his head that his decision is the right one, which can often times lead to mishaps and trouble if he isn’t carful, or guided by the right pony beside him.

I’ll probably think of more to say, but yeah! I hope you enjoyed that little lore dump on my AU XD

I’m thinking I may make some posts describing the universe more in detail too XD it’s pretty fun

If anyone else ever has a will/wish to hear more, see specific things, etc, just ask! I’d be happy to talk/draw more about it :D

[grelleswife]

DomiJeanne!!! (for the Domesticity Meme)

1. Who cooks normally?

According to this extra Mochizuki drew, neither Domi nor Jeanne is a particularly amazing cook. 😂 Although I can’t read Japanese, I think I remember one translation (it might have been on @popopretty ‘s blog?) saying that Domi considers cooking a job for the servants, while Jeanne is mainly a foodie rather than a preparer of said food (though she does know survival cooking). So Domi probably just hires the finest chefs de Sade money can provide to make all her girl’s favorite dishes!

2. How often do they fight?

Not very often! They have a natural rapport, with each bringing out the other’s gentler side. I have a feeling most of their fights would either be related to Vanitas (Domi’s antipathy towards him is stronger than ever, even after Jeanne broke up with the human) or stem from Domi’s lingering insecurities (for example, she notices someone flirting with Jeanne and gets jealous). But with time, they’re able to work through these issues.

3. What do they do when they’re away from each other?

Since Jeanne still serves as Luca’s chevalier, most of her time is spent accompanying him during his daily routine or when he’s out on official business. In those leisurely moments when she isn’t able to see Dominique, Jeanne might read a novel, go strolling in a nearby park, or stop by one of her local cafes or restaurants for a quick bite to eat!

Domi remains part of the royal guard, and regularly practices with her sword (in addition to competing in the occasional fencing match). I don’t remember if this is canon, but I could also see her enjoying horseback riding. If she can’t spend time with Jeanne, she’ll seek out the company of her other favorite person, Noé, or write him a letter if he and Vanitas are off chasing curse bearers. She also likes to go shopping to add to her extensive wardrobe, and typically gets a new outfit, box of chocolates, etc. for Jeanne while she’s at it. Domi’s girlfriend never strays far from her mind. ☺️

4. Nicknames for each other?

Domi calls Jeanne “ma belle,” “ma chérie,” “mon amour,” “mon trésor,” “mon ange,” “ma colombe”...you get the picture! For some reason, I have a hard time imagining Jeanne using pet names, but the moment when she finally felt comfortable enough to call her lover Domi instead of Lady Dominique made our favorite de Sade blush like a schoolgirl.

5. Who is more likely to pay for dinner?

Dominique, since she’s the aristocrat.

6. Who steals the covers at night?

Hmm...maybe Jeanne? She always apologizes profusely after she wakes up and becomes aware of her blanket crimes. Domi just winks and says Jeanne can make it up to her by warming her back up with cuddles, which Jeanne is happy to do. 💕

7. What would they get each other for gifts?

Since Jeanne hasn’t had many people in her life who bothered to make her feel special, Domi goes all-out with lavish presents—sweets from the most acclaimed confectionery in France, or a season’s worth of dresses, or a pretty pony. Jeanne’s gifts are equally heartfelt, even if they aren’t as extravagant. She might try to make something for Domi by hand, like a scarf and mittens, or write her a love poem (which of course Domi would treasure 🥰🥰🥰)

8. Who remembers things?

Maybe Domi? Jeanne might be more forgetful and prone to distraction.

9. Who cusses more?

Though neither is prone to swearing in public, Domi uses more profanity when they’re talking in private. Jeanne might be a cinnamon roll, but she can and will say fuck if sufficiently enraged. 🔥 Dominique thinks her girlfriend is even hotter when she curses. 😏

10. What would they do if the other one was hurt?

In both cases, their first priority would be patching up the other’s wounds, making sure they were okay, and fretting over them. Step two would involve slicing whoever was responsible for those injuries to ribbons. 🔥 Jeanne is a little better at keeping a cool head under pressure in these situations because she has more experience on the battlefield. Because both ladies have lost loved ones in horrifically violent ways, they’d be extra protective in the wake of the injury and reluctant to leave the other’s side.

11. Who kissed who first?

Domi kissed Jeanne first. They were taking a walk together through Paris and happened to be in a quiet, out-of-the-way area...so Domi used Jeanne’s parasol to shield them from any prying eyes, and gave her a smooch! 😘

12. Who made the first move?

Maybe Jeanne? After Domi’s curse was lifted and Jeanne dumped Vanitas (I leave the details to your imagination 😉) the chevalier reached out to her friend out of worry and a desire to reconnect. The letters they exchanged over the next few weeks helped repair their bond and paved the way for subsequent dates.

13. Who started the relationship?

Jeanne. As they grew closer, Domi realized that she’d fallen for the other vampire but was afraid to push her luck for fear of rejection (she stills struggles with self-esteem issues and remorse over fighting Jeanne under Misha’s influence, even though that obviously wasn’t her fault 😭). But one day while they were having tea, Jeanne worked up the courage to tell Domi point-blank that she wanted to be more than just friends, and that she understood if Domi didn’t reciprocate...but she couldn’t keep these feelings to herself any longer!!! Dominique promptly burst into tears (which left poor Jeanne more than a little confused), but then rushed over to hug the chevalier and sob out that she’d be honored to court her. 🥰

[merryfortune]

Sunlight wasn’t streaming in

Written for 100ships on Dreamwidth

Prompt - #12 Sunlight

Ship: Hitch/Sunny

Fandom: My Little Pony: A New Generation

Word Count: 1,470

Rating: G

Warnings: No Warnings Apply

Tags: Pre-Canon, Hurt/Comfort, Character Death, Grief, Pre-Relationship

   Even now, Hitch felt anxious to enter the Starscout resident. Phyllis’s warning still rang clear in his head even now but it was important to him that he visited. He hadn’t seen Sunny in a while, not since… not since her dad had passed away. No one had seen her, actually, and Hitch figured it was his duty as a strong arm of the law, peace, and justice that he perform a welfare check on her but he still felt a tremor of unease. 

   There was something drastically different about the lighthouse today. Sunlight wasn’t streaming in through the windows, all the curtains had been drawn shut. It was solemn. Silent. Unnerving. Even so, Hitch pulled through and nudged open the door. It was open. As safe as Maretime Bay was, all the other ponies in town locked their doors lest a Pegasus or a Unicorn come a-knocking but of course, silly and idealistic Sunny wasn’t like that. Not even when she was grieving so deeply, she wanted to be left uncharacteristically in the dark.

   Hitch swallowed a lump in his throat as he crept in through the door and he glanced to the side of it, the framed photo on the wall of Sunny and Argyle was askew. Hitch fixed it. It wasn’t right just to leave it crooked. After that, he swung his head out and then he called for Sunny.

   At first there was no response but then he heard it. A muffled go away but that only propelled Hitch further into the lighthouse. Onwards and upwards, he figured. He couldn’t just leave Sunny like this. So, he made his way up to her room, using all the contraptions that had impressed him as a young colt but now, just seemed dangerous now. He was certain this madhouse was breaking many by-laws but it didn’t seem appropriate right now to count them all.

   “May I come in, Sunny?” Hitch asked the door to Sunny’s room.

   “Since you're here… you may as well.” Sunny mumbled back.

   With her permission, Hitch came inside and closed the door behind him. Even up here, where the light house should get the most light of all since it was Sunny’s inner sanctum, it was very dark. Dim. Grey. It unsettled Hitch as he drew in closer to his childhood friend who languished in her bed, under the covers.

   “Are you okay?” Hitch asked.

   Sunny dragged herself out from under the covers and glared, “No,” she snapped, uncharacteristically, tears in her eyes, loathing herself for being angry but loathing Hitch for asking, “my dad just died. Of course I’m not okay.”

   “It’s fine.” Hitch mumbled. “Be angry, be sad… I just want to make sure you're getting it out, not bottling it up.”

   “Thanks, Hitch.” Sunny murmured as she lowered her head back into her bed. 

   She swallowed a sob but Hitch reached out to her, placing his hoof next to one of hers and she nodded. She knew she didn’t have to be strong or stoic around Hitch, trying to be the sunniest possible version of Sunny even in her grief and so, that repressed sob became a bawl. Hitch nudged his hoof against Sunny’s, consoling her wordlessly during her sobbing and hysteria. She was loud and wet and he could only make a most bittersweet expression but for it, Sunny did feel lighter of her burden of mourning.

   She lifted her head up off her pillow and took a breath, “Thanks Hitch, I needed that.”

   “I can tell.” Hitch replied. “If you need anything else, I’m your guy.”

   Sunny smiled.

   “In fact,” Hitch added, thinking he was being equal parts helpful and sly, “when was the last time you ate? I can go fetch you something if you want.”

   Sunny wanted to protest, that she was fine and that Hitch didn’t have to go to any extravagant length for her but her belly betrayed her by giving a huge growl, as though on cue. Hitch snickered and Sunny fumed, embarrassed but after her huge cry, it did feel good as well to hazard out a little bit of laughter at her own expense.

   “I only want something small… I really don’t feel up to eating anything huge.” Sunny murmured.

   “Got it, how about I bring you up a smoothie, then?” Hitch asked. “It's your favourite, after all.”

   “That would be lovely, Hitch.” Sunny replied with a gracious smile.

   Hitch winked at her and told her he would only be a moment. He trotted off down the contraptions again and into her kitchen. The idea of it being just Sunny’s kitchen weighed Hitch down as he fossicked through her refrigerator and her counters. It had been a long time since he had been in her kitchen, watching her father bake cupcakes for his little filly. Hitch’s mouth turned sour as he realised that he never accepted one from what was going to be the last batch that Argyle would ever bake. That filled him with regret.

   Eventually, he got the blender working and topped it full of whatever he could find. He wanted it to be healthy for Sunny but he also wanted it to be a comfort so he ended up tossing all sorts of fruit and vegetables in there, ice-cream and honey too and the resulting concoction was pungently sweet. He knew - hope - that Sunny would love it as he put a replacement lid with a sippy on the glass blender and brought it up to Sunny’s room again in its entirety.

   “Er, drink it at your leisure, obviously. But don’t let it get too warm or it’ll taste bad.” Hitch said.

   Sunny giggled as she accepted the entire smoothie. She could smell how strongly sweet it was going to be through the lid but it just made her giddy rather than anything else. She took a smiley sip of it, even if her cheeks were half-dried with tears, and enjoyed it. It was made with love and that’s all she could ask for, even if the flavours didn’t exactly harmonise, she couldn’t begrudge Hitch for trying his best for her.

   “It's delicious.” Sunny replied.

   “Not as good as the ones that you make, I'm sure.” Hitch sheepishly replied, toeing the wooden floorboards under-hoof in earnestness.

   “I appreciate it.” Sunny continued, her voice soft.

   “You’d do the same for me, or anyone, really…” Hitch murmured and he realised there was only a very small pool of Ponies - only him - would ask for Sunny to do the same or do the same for Sunny. He cleared his throat. “So, um, if you need anything at all. It can be small or silly or big and huge… You know who to call.”

   “I do.” Sunny replied, having another sip of her smoothie. “You're the best a mare could ask for, Hitch.”

   “Aw, shucks…” Hitch mumbled, his eyes going wide but he was enjoying the praise. “Your, um, really important to me, Sunny, I mean it.”

   “Thank you, Hitch.” Sunny said.

   She leaned out over her bed for a nuzzle and Hitch awkwardly reciprocated. They rubbed their cheeks and muzzle on each other and Hitch held his breath for it. Sunny was all too soft and sweet for him, so Hitch pulled back first. Sunny sighed but she didn’t seem disappointed by the succinctness of the affection.

   “I’ll, um, give you some space.” Hitch said. “And remember to have something solid for dinner tonight, a smoothie is most certainly not dinner.”

   “I appreciate it, Hitch, and I’ll let you know if I need anything, I promise.” Sunny said.

   “Good,” Hitch said with a smile full of bravado, “because I want to see you rabble rousing on your roller skates again as soon as possible.”

   “On it,” Sunny said and she shrugged, “and Hitch?”

   “Oh? Yes?” he said, surprised to be prompted so soon.

   “Could you do me one little favour before you go?” Sunny said and she seemed rather embarrassed by the indulgence that she was about to ask for. “But, um, could you open the curtains for me? I think I need the sunlight.”

   ���I think you do, too.” Hitch agreed.

   He trotted over to the curtains on the far side of Sunny’s room, he bit down on the rod and with a heft, he let so much sunlight into Sunny’s room and she basked in the warmth. She smiled, relieved and loved, and made Hitch feel like he had done really good today. The lighthouse was really only the lighthouse, Hitch thought, if it was all lit up, one way or another.

   Thus, with his welfare check performed, Hitch pardoned himself and Sunny promised she would be out and about in the town again soon, she knew her father would want her to be busy and happy. Hitch, too, of course.

[prettywordsyouleft]

The Cowboy - Part 6

Summary: Leaving the city for a rural area called Blayne seemed simple enough. Your task was to convince the people to agree with selling their land for a resort redevelopment. But once there, you soon realise that your city ways are entirely different to theirs. Winning their trust was going to take some effort, and when you start to fall for a local cowboy, you wonder if you really needed Blayne more than the city life after all.

Pairing: Jung Jaehyun x female reader

Genre: cowboy au / drama / romance / if you squint there’s some enemies to lovers up in here.

Warnings: Jung Jaehyun is a cowboy, need I say more? (a bit of angst and drama, and it sometimes might feel like you’re reading a Nicolas Sparks book, so I’m told lol) — suggestive content awaits in this part.

Word count: 2344

This series will be updated every Thursday and Friday.

Preview | 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

“I’m sorry, you want me to do what now?” you asked when you answered the front door the following morning, your gaze travelling to the two horses tied up near the house. You laughed nervously and shook your head. “No, no. Just because we had a friendly excursion together yesterday doesn’t mean I’m quite ready for this.”

“It’s not that scary, I promise.”

“Tell that to someone who wanted to ride a pony as a kid. I didn’t. I was an inside only and play with dolls, type of girl.”

“You don’t need to have a love affair with ponies as a child to learn how to ride now. Stop giving me excuses and get out here, would you?!”

Heaving in a deep breath, you eyed the creatures warily before reaching for the keys to the front door. Jaehyun waved you off. “You don’t need to lock up.”

“Someone could easily walk onto this property.”

“Walk?” Jaehyun mused, and you rolled your eyes.

“Fine. Drive up the road and find it. Call it a habit, if you will,” you told him as you slotted the key into the door and locked it. You smiled over at him. “I’ll feel more at ease knowing it’s locked up. And I have a pocket for them, so don’t worry.”

“Whatever makes you happy, Miss City.”

“Back to that?”

“Well, you’re about to learn how to ride from a cowboy. It seems fitting,” Jaehyun replied, and you grinned. “Come on. Old Roger here is half-blind and safe as houses.”

“I don’t think blind and safe work together like that,” you murmured, following him over to the brown horse. You gave him another look. “And who names a horse Roger?!”

“You’re so talkative when you’re nervous.”

“Just hurry up before I back out entirely,” you confessed, and Jaehyun let the stirrups down from laying over the seat of the western saddle.

He then pointed to something sticking off the front of it. “That’s what we call the horn. Take a hold of that and stick your foot in the stirrup there.”

You reached up for the horn and then attempted to get your foot into the stirrup. Not quite making it, you turned to look at Jaehyun. “Oh dear, I’m not able to do this. Well, if you’ll excuse me-”

“Not so fast,” he said as his arms slipped around your waist and pulled you back to his side. You glanced up at him, and Jaehyun blinked a couple of times before grinning lopsidedly. “So eager to get away from me, huh?”

“So eager to hold me,” you pointed out, and his hands dropped to his sides momentarily before guiding your hand up to the horn again.

“This time, hold the horn, and I’ll give you a leg up,” he offered, moving effectively to cup your foot and pushed up. Without realising it, you threw your leg over the opposite side of the saddle and sat down. Jaehyun laughed at your stupor. “Look at you. We’ll make a rider out of you in no time.”

You smiled proudly down at him, and Jaehyun patted Roger before handing you the reins. He sorted your fingers around them before stepping away. “Wait!”

“What?”

“You can’t just put me up on a horse and then walk away from me. Shouldn’t you lead me around first or something? Take care of me!”

Jaehyun chuckled. “Thought you weren’t a pony ride type of girl?”

“Not funny! He might walk off with me! What do I do then?!”

Jaehyun evaluated the snoozing animal you sat aboard and then swiftly mounted his own stead. He looked over at you. “Oh no, what are you going to do now, Y/N? He’s going to start walking as soon as Blaze here does.”

“That’s not funny!” you exclaimed, gripping the horn of the saddle when Jaehyun clucked at his horse, and it walked off. Roger stepped off in time as the other horse, and your eyes bulged out of your head.

Jaehyun glanced back at you. “Relax. I wouldn’t put you in harm’s way. Trust in me.”

Jaehyun’s words resonated with you, and you took in a deep breath and tried to relax. Roger fell in step with Blaze, and you glanced over at Jaehyun nervously.

“Do I just hold the horn?”

“If you want to. Roger won’t do anything Blaze doesn’t. But try to relax your grip at least. Those reins lead to a bit in his mouth. You don’t want to tug too hard on that.”

You unclenched your hands immediately, barely holding onto the reins. You decided to keep one hand on the horn though, just in case. Jaehyun nodded. “There you go, now you’re riding.”

“I’m riding,” you repeated, looking forward along the track you were on. For fifteen minutes or so, you just enjoyed the feeling. It was freeing, even if you had been frightened at first, to be up on a horse with all this land around you. The morning sun wasn’t too hot, yet it felt nice upon your back. You could see yourself growing accustomed to this view. From the back of a horse, everything seemed more magical with the way the light hit it.

And then Jaehyun had to go and ruin your peace. “We’ll try a jog now.”

“A what? No, thank you, walking is fine.”

“I want to show you a place, but it’ll take us all day if we amble up there,” Jaehyun persisted. “Just hold onto the horn, okay?”

“Jaehyun, I-!”

He asked Blaze up a gait, and like clockwork, Roger followed along. You squealed with the change, trying to balance yourself with the fast and bumpier speed. Glaring at Jaehyun, you gripped the horn tightly, focusing on keeping in the seat of the saddle. The longer you jogged, the easier it became, but you were still grateful when both horses slowed back to a walk.

“You’re a jerk!” you exclaimed as Jaehyun laughed at you.

“That I am, but you survived, didn’t you?”

“Wherever we’re going better be worth it!” you told him adamantly and recklessly leaned over and shunted him.

Whilst Jaehyun was okay, you forgot for a second that you were on top of a horse. Unlike him, you hadn’t ever ridden before, and your balance wasn’t as secure. You gripped onto his t-shirt in hopes to find leverage.

Jaehyun leaned in towards you. “Trying to touch me, are we?”

“Don’t! I was just--” Jaehyun helped you back upright, and you shakily drew in another breath.

He grinned. “Hold onto that horn unless you plan on riding double with me, won’t you?”

“So this is it?” you asked when the horses came to a halt, and Jaehyun nodded. “It’s another field, Jaehyun.”

“We can’t use this field for grazing our herd on. It’s too far away from the house to travel to daily and becomes a waste of time when we already have enough to do. It’s hard as rocks during summer and bogs with mud in winter.”

“Sounds cursed.”

Jaehyun glanced at you. “It’s also the closest field we have to the mountain ranges.”

“Huh, so it is.” You surveyed the area, deciphering where you were on the internal map inside your mind. You gasped. “This was the spot I was trying to find access to!”

“Only way in currently is upon horseback,” he mentioned cautiously, readjusting his hat on his head. “My Dad would kill me if he found us out here right now.”

“You’re helping me. Why?”

“You seem genuine,” he answered honestly, gauging your reaction intently. “You’re not here to make big bucks for the company and rob the small people in the process. After yesterday, and with how many came up to us at the market to say hi, I can tell you care about Blayne already.”

“Well, its early days but I do want what’s best for everyone.”

“If we sold this land and then our neighbours gave over the adjacent property, we could build a road and put in more housing, in the very least.”

“You don’t want the resort, do you?”

“Would you? Who needs one when we have enough activities to fill the day?”

You smiled. “My first goal would be housing too. Blayne needs more workers. Workers tend to bring their family along with them. We’d need to change the town model a little to accommodate all of this.”

“The farmers here won’t accept strangers to work their lands. When Avery left, it was really hard for me to manage the herd we have. Caleb is helpful, but he’s slow from a limp to his leg. Dad wants to increase production over the next two years. It’s a joke if he thinks the four of us can manage both our property and my Uncle’s.”

“They’ll need to swallow their pride and let workers in then. I can help with that. I’m sure if we band together, we can help those living here first.”

“Things like these take more than months to execute, Y/N,” Jaehyun mentioned, turning Blaze back towards where you had travelled from. “You talk as if you will be here to change it all. It was just an idea to show you the land.”

“I’m deeply appreciative. Believe me. And whilst things might take time out here, I’m from the city. Rome might not have been built in a day, but we have construction workers by the hundreds. Progress can happen quickly.”

Jaehyun nodded softly right when the morning sun disappeared. He stared up at the skies just as you did, squinting when a raindrop fell upon your cheek. He laughed. “Looks like the weather is showing us how quickly it can change too. Ready to jog again?”

“As long as you don’t bring up this loping you talked of earlier, I’m ready!”

It took thirty minutes of trotting, and by the time you arrived back at your home, you were both soaked through. Jaehyun dismounted first before coming over to your side and gesturing to get down. You landed at his side and laughed, both of you bringing the horses into the barn and out of the weather. Jaehyun took off their gear and popped them in the two end stalls, gesturing for you to go over to the house.

“You’re going to catch a chill if you don’t get out of those clothes,” he mentioned, and you placed your hands on your hips.

“Trying to get me out of my clothes now.”

“Easy on there, Y/N. I’m being a gentleman right now,” he commented with a bite to his lips thereafter, and you shook your head with continued laughter, stepping up onto the veranda and reaching into your pocket for the keys.

Smile fading, you dug your hand in deeper. Your search came up empty. “Jaehyun.”

“Mm?”

“I’ve lost the keys,” you announced, and Jaehyun eyes widened.

“You did?”

“Yeah, they must have fallen out as we rode,” you surmised, slapping your forehead in despair. “Oh! Maybe they fell out when I dismounted before.”

You went to dash back out into the rain that was now coming down sideways, but Jaehyun stopped you, grabbing your arm and shaking his head. “Don’t go back out there.”

“We’ll both get sick if we stay out here like this, though!”

“I know a way in.”

Taking your hand properly, Jaehyun led you around the veranda to a window on the side. He let go of you then, his palms pressing against the wooden window frame. It dislodged from its shut position, and Jaehyun pushed it up into the top window, offering enough space for you both to clamber through it. He awkwardly managed to do so first, holding it open for you to follow suit.

You stumbled when you landed, and he caught you, his hands taking purchase on your hips. You grinned up at him. “How did you know to do that?”

“I was once a teenager,” he pointed out, and you laughed. “What? Don’t tell me you were a goodie two shoes.”

“What did you have here to sneak out to?”

His smile faded as he took in your close proximity. “Not you.”

The temperature in the room grew hotter the longer you stared back at one another. You were acutely aware of where your hands rested on his chest, and where his were on your hips. Slowly, you slipped them up and hooked them around his neck, eliciting flames of hunger to rise within his eyes.

“I’m here now, though.”

“You’ve only been here for a few weeks. Are you going to be here today and gone tomorrow?”

You shook your head. “I have no plans on leaving anytime soon.”

That was enough for Jaehyun to capture your lips in a fevered kiss, his body pressing into yours. You gripped onto his shoulders, and he hoisted you up, your legs curling around his waist as you continued to release all the tension that had built between you. You gasped for air, and his tongue dove in to meet yours, both blindly moving around the study towards the door.

Pulling away breathlessly, Jaehyun stared at you again. “I didn’t think we’d be doing this so soon.”

“Feels like we’ve been playing this game of cat and mouse for longer than three weeks.”

“We should stop. If we keep going on like this, something’s bound to happen.”

“Like a shower and then you taking me to bed?” you offered demurely, the man holding you breathing out a curse. You smirked. “You could stop if you want to slow things down, Cowboy.”

“I hold the fastest score at barrel racing in these regions I’ll have you know.”

You giggled with delight as Jaehyun started to ascend upstairs. “I hope that’s not the same speed that you go at during other things, Jaehyun.”

Kissing you passionately again, Jaehyun didn’t answer with words when he placed you down on your feet once you reached your first destination, simply tugging his t-shirt over his head before kicking the bathroom door shut behind you both.

_________________

Part 7

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[4stars-uswnt]

Secrets and Distractions [Mal Pugh x Morgan!Reader]

requested by @laikato: Y/N Morgan is the little sister of Alex Morgan and with that she is the baby of the team that needs to be protected. when Y/N became Mal's girlfriend the team want to talk to Mal so 2 or 3 distract y/n while the rest have a talk with Mal.

You bounce your knees in anticipation, as you wait outside your girlfriend’s hotel room. It had been almost two months since you’d seen Mal, as you played in Orlando along side your sister and she played in DC. But now, as you’re both in LA for national team camp, you were looking forward to spending some quality time with your girlfriend.

Mal cracks open the door peeking her head out. “Hi.” She smiles when she sees you, pulling you into the room, quickly shutting the door behind you. Once your behind closed doors, she wraps you into her arms, and brings you in for a sweet kiss.

“Hi.” You grin, as you two separate.

“I’ve missed you.” She pouts.

“I know, babe. I missed you, too.” You whisper, leaning your forehead against hers.

“I wish we were rooming together, then we wouldn’t have to sneak around.”

“Me too. But at least we’re together now.” You give her a small smile, which she returns.

“C’mon,” Mal drags you to her bed. “I wanna catch up on my snuggles before dinner.”

You giggle, as she smothers you.

—————

Being Alex Morgan’s younger sister came with a lot of pressure, especially because you followed her footsteps playing on the USWNT. Although you, yourself, were a midfielder, people still drew comparisons and had ginormous expectations for you.

Along with the pressure from the fans and critics came the constant babying and overprotecting from your national team teammates. It made sense when you had joined the team about four years ago, as you were only sixteen, but now that you were twenty, you were still being treated like the baby of the team, your sister probably being the one to blame.

Ever since you were little, your sister was always super protective of you, as you were the youngest of your three sisters, being almost ten years younger than Alex. Her overprotectiveness continued when you moved to Orlando to play for the Pride, and even amplified when you joined the national team. As she doted over you at every camp, your teammates shortly followed, checking up on you every hour, making sure you were eating right, and giving you piggy backs everywhere.

Although you thoroughly enjoyed cuddling with Kelley or doing yoga with Christen, you often found their babying to be annoying and frustrating. So when you and Mal started dating about three months ago, you both knew you had to keep your relationship a secret, as you knew the team, particularly your sister, would overreact and freak out.

—————

“Mallory! Let’s go! You’re late for dinner.” Tobin yells, knocking on the door.

The two of you instantly separate, your cuddle session, which turned into a make-out session, interrupted.

Checking her phone, Mal’s eyes widen. “Shoot! We gotta go.”

Looking at the clock, you wince, noticing you were ten minutes late for dinner. You knew your sister was probably panicking a little, as you were rarely late to anything.

Grabbing your stuff, the two of you head down to dinner, intertwining your hands. Not realizing Tobin was still waiting, you and Mal jump apart when you see her leaning against the wall looking at her phone.

“Hey, you ready?” She looks up, a little surprised when she sees you. “Oh, hey (Y/N), you hanging out with Mal?”

You let out a breath of relief at Tobin’s obliviousness. “Yeah, we were just catching up.” I mean, technically, you weren’t lying.

Tobin nods, as the three of you make your way towards the elevator. “Cool. Well, you might wanna text your sister because she was worried when you weren’t answering her calls or texts, and now she’s probably going crazy that you’re not in your room.”

You grimace, almost picturing Alex pacing back and forth in your shared hotel room, one hand on her forehead the other on her hip. Pulling out your phone, you shoot her a quick text, telling her your coming down to dinner now.

—————

At dinner, you sat next to Mal at your usual table with the youngsters, when you hear the door fly open.

“(Y/N) (Y/M/N) Morgan!” Alex yells, storming into the room, Kelley following not far behind.

You hunch your shoulders, trying to make yourself disappear. As you feel your sister approach you, you turn to face her, shrinking under her gaze.

“Where on earth have you been?! I’ve been calling and texting you.”

“I was hanging out in Mal’s room.” You explain.

Alex’s face softens, but you can tell she’s still upset. “Next time at least tell me where you’re going before you leave, okay?” You nod, as she places a kiss on your head before going to sit with Kelley and Allie. Though you were fed up with her constant hovering, you didn’t have the energy to bring it up, knowing it would only lead to a fight.

You turn back to your food, but you’ve suddenly lost your appetite. Noticing your shift in mood, Mal places her hand on your thigh.

“Hey, you okay?” She whispers, rubbing your leg soothingly.

You give her a slight nod and a small smile. “Mhm.” But Mal can tell you’re not telling her the whole truth, taking note to talk to you about this later. Squeezing your knee, she quickly gives you a reassuring kiss on your shoulder before returning to her dinner.

Unbeknownst to you or your girlfriend, Emily witnessed Mal’s small action, her eyes growing wide and her jaw dropping.

—————

After dinner and after the team meeting, Pinoe announced that she was hosting team bonding in her and Tobin’s room. Not really feeling up to being smothered by your sister and your teammates, you make up an excuse to slip away.

“I think I’m just gonna go back up to my room. I’m feeling a bit tired. It’s been a long day.” That wasn’t completely a lie, given that you had gotten up at four in the morning to catch your flight to LA.

“Aw, c’mon, Pony! Don’t be a party pooper!” Ashlyn hollers. You roll your eyes at the nickname the team had created when you first joined, a play on Alex’s infamous ‘baby horse’ nickname.

Your sister furrows her brows worriedly. “You want me to come with you?” You’re tempted to say yes, knowing you’d missed her cuddles. Because despite living in Orlando and Alex’s constant begging to move into her guest room, you’d decided to get your own apartment, wanting some freedom and independence.

You shake your head. “Nah, I’m good, Al.” Before you leave, you glance over at your girlfriend, subtly nodding for her to follow.

After you’d left, the team was deciding which game to play. Kelley and Emily were currently fighting Ashlyn and Julie over playing Truth or Dare or Never Have I Ever. Before the game could start, Mal gets up from her seat on the floor.

“You guys,” She starts, “I think I’m gonna go check up on (Y/N/N).”

Despite many protests, the your girlfriend heads up to your room. After Mal leaves, the team returns to their game.

“You think there’s something going on between those two?” Kelley asks jokingly, almost rhetorically. Most of the team laughs at the idea of baby Morgan dating someone, while Emily remains quiet, remembering what she’d seen at dinner.

Noticing the stillness and quietness of the younger defender next to her, Kelley turns to her, eyes narrowing. “Do you know something, Sonny?” The entire team turns to the woman, all wanting to hear what she knows about the team baby.

Emily audibly gulps under the scrutinizing glare of twenty other women. “I—ummm—I don’t have…I don’t know anything.”

Alex lets out a small growl, Kelley having to brace her best friend, stopping her from charging the younger woman.

Unable to keep it in any longer, Emily reveals the interaction she had seen and spills her suspicions.

—————

The next day, Emily and Rose had stuck to your side all day, saying they’d missed spending time with you. While you were always down to spend hangout with your best friends, you also wanted to spend some time with your girlfriend, but Tobin and Christen were hogging her.

Once training was over, and you were loading the bus, Emily and Rose catch up to you.

“(Y/N/N), wanna get some lunch with us? We were planning on going to your favorite restaurant…” Rose sings, knowing your weakness for the Mexican restaurant in downtown LA that you had gone to with your sister ever since you were little.

Your eyes grow large, and you beam, nodding your head excitedly. You skip on to the bus, going to tell Mal your lunch plans, but you see Tobin is sitting in your seat. You frown, looking for a place to sit. Kelley had moved to sit next to Christen, leaving the seat next to Alex empty. You go to sit next to your sister, who is already moving her bag, inviting you next to her.

“What’s with the seat change?” You ask, tilting your head sideways.

Alex shrugs casually. “I dunno. Laura called, so Kel wanted to talk to Chris about something, and I guess Tobin just wanted to hangout with her child.”

“Oh.” You sigh, trying to hide your disappointment.

“What? You too old to sit with your sister?” Alex teases.

“No! Of course not.” You protest. “In fact, I’ve missed you.” You lean your head on your older sister’s shoulder.

“I’ve missed you too, bug.” She drops her head on top of yours, as the two of you catch up on everything from soccer to just life in general.

—————

After showering and putting on a casual outfit, you stand outside of the hotel, waiting for Rose and Emily, so you can head out to lunch. A couple of moments later, your best friends exit the hotel and approach you.

“You ready, (Y/N/N)?” Emily loops her arm in yours, as Rose finishes typing a text and puts her phone in her pocket.

“Yup! Let’s go.”

The three of you stroll though the streets of LA, making your way to your favorite Mexican restaurant.

—————

While you were out for lunch, the team had other plans, those being to have a little talk with your girlfriend.

Mal was laying on her bed, scrolling through Instagram, when she heard a knock on her door. Before she could reach the door, it swings open, revealing an angry Alex Morgan, who abruptly stops in front of the younger forward, followed by a couple of the other USWNT veterans.

“Sit.” She points to the chair, as the other women take their place, sitting on the beds.

Mal swallows nervously, following the other woman’s orders.

Alex takes a deep breath, trying to calm herself, obviously failing. “Are you and (Y/N) dating?”

Mal’s eyebrows rose in shock. “Uhhh…umm..I—uh..”

“Well?” Alex impatiently asks, hands on her hips.

“Yes.” Mal reveals.

Alex throws her hands up in the air. “Mallory Pugh!” Mal flinches at the older forward’s volume. “I cannot believe you. You know how I feel about my younger sister dating. How could you not tell us about this?!”

Mal panics, looking at Tobin and Christen for some help, pleading them to relieve Alex’s wrath.

“Don’t look at us, kiddo.” Tobin holds her hands up.

“Sorry, Mal, but we’re with Al on this one.” Christen looks at her with a little sympathy.

Mal tries the other women in the room, but she knows that they’re all probably feeling the same was as Alex, given that they all see (Y/N) as a little sister of their own.

“We didn’t tell you guys because we knew how you’d react.” Mal explains.

“What’s that supposed to mean?” Kelley scoffs. Mal gives her a ‘really’ look, causing the defender to release a small ‘oh’ under her breath.

Too frustrated to say anything, Alex plops down on the bed, running her hands through her hair. Mal hangs her head, feeling guilty, as she takes in the sight before her. These women were your family and basically her second family; the two of you shouldn’t have kept this from them, no matter how annoying their babying could be.

“I’m sorry.” Mal mumbles.

“How long have you been dating?” Megan questions.

“About three months.”

The shock is clearly written all over the veterans faces, as they let the new information sink in. Ashlyn breaks the silence, clapping her hands, rubbing them together mischievously.

“So, Mal,” She begins, “now that you’re dating our little Morgan, we have to ask: what are your intentions with (Y/N)?”

Mal shifts nervously. “I really like her, okay?” She sees Alex soften at that, and some of the other women audibly aw. “She lights up my world, and I’ve never met anyone like her. She brings out the best in me, and makes me want to be not only a better player but also a better person. I now understand why you guys are so protective her because ever since we started dating, I just wanna protect her from all the bad things in the world.” Mal huffs out a laugh before murmuring. “I think I love her.”

The veterans now sit silent and shocked, but now for a completely different reason. They had no idea that your relationship was so serious. But before anyone can say anything, someone else speaks up.

“Do you really mean that?” You whisper in disbelief. During Mal’s confession, no one noticed you slipping through the door.

Your girlfriend carefully approaches you, taking your hands in yours.

“Yes. I think I’m falling in love with you, (Y/N) Morgan.” Mal admits, ignoring your teammates, who are still intently watching the two of you.

You pull your girlfriend in for a sweet kiss, pulling away before it gets too heated. Pressing your foreheads together, you smile. “I think I’m falling in love with you, too.” Mal beams, her heart bursting with love for you.

“Alex! (Y/N)’s on her way up here! Sorry but we couldn’t stop her from——” Emily and Rose burst through the door, panting out of breath, taking in the sight of you and your girlfriend’s embrace.

You drop your head onto your girlfriend’s shoulder, laughing at your best friends’s behavior. How you ended up with the best sister, the best team, and the best girlfriend in the entire world, you didn’t know, but you were extremely grateful.

[adiwriting]

Prompt: How about some Maria/Michael friendship sweetness? 💗

*I’m a sucker for re-building friendship and post-breakup moments, so here you go. Also, I am 2 prompts in and already broke my 1k max promise, which is on brand for me.*

“Thank you for this,” Maria says as Michael finishes soldering the new wires together on the cash register that had broken. “I know things between us are weird and you didn’t have to answer my call.” 

“Weird? Why? Because you broke up with me in the middle of a hospital where I’d been sitting at your sickbed for most of the week?” he asks with a straight face, but the moment she starts shifting uncomfortably on her feet he drops it. “DeLuca, it’s fine. We’re still friends, right?” 

The last part is said nervously. Like perhaps he’d misunderstood the situation and she’s about to tell him differently. 

The tension leaves her body and she gives him a soft smile. “Yeah. We’re still friends, Guerin.” 

They smile at each other and for a moment, it feels like nothing has changed for them. But then Maria takes a step back and looks away and Michael remembers that everything has changed. 

“You’re not getting rid of me that easily,” she says, and the mood shifts back to a friendly one. 

“Well good, cause the only other decent bar in this place is Planet 7 and as much as I love the eye candy, somehow I always end up finding glitter on me for days after leaving. Shit is invasive.” 

“You sure that’s the only reason you don’t like it?” Maria asks, tilting her head and giving him that look, like she’s trying to read him. 

“Alright Nancy Drew, calm down,” he says, mentally throwing up some barriers in case she actually does get a read off of him. She hasn’t mentioned her powers escalating to actual mind-reading, but given how astute Mimi always is it wouldn’t surprise him. 

“You know, I own this bar right?” she says, moving around the bartop to sit down at one of the stools. “Nothing happens here without my knowledge.”

“Okay?” He doesn’t know where this is going. 

“So I heard about Alex’s little open mic night,” she says, clearly fishing.

“So you heard about him kissing Forrest then.” 

Michael hadn’t been upset at the news when he’d first heard it. Nor when he’d continued to hear it as the gossip spread around the town. This town is full of people with way too much time on their hands. This is something he’s always known. He’s happy for Alex. Glad that he’s comfortable with somebody enough to be out in all the ways he was always too terrified to be with Michael. It’s good for him. Even if it does give him a slight pang to think about the ways they never got to be out together. 

“I heard about him singing a song about his high school lover,” she says, giving him a pointed look. “You and I both know that wasn’t Forrest.” 

“Maria, what are you doing?” he asks. He already gets it regularly from Isobel, he doesn’t need it from her. He knows what he’s doing by giving Alex space. And yes, there’s a chance it means Alex won’t come back, but it’s a chance he’s willing to take because Alex deserves a chance to explore his options without all of their baggage weighing him down. If you love something let it go and all that. 

“Alex is my best friend.” 

Michael lets out a frustrated sigh. “I know,” he says. “I don’t need the reminder. If you’re about to tell me I’m a shitty person or whatever—” 

“Did I say that?” she asks. 

“What are you saying?” 

“I’m saying that Alex is my best friend and you are my—” she cuts herself off and both of them look away awkwardly. The breakup is still fresh enough for them to still forget at times. “Well, I care about you. I want you to be happy. I think that’s only going to happen when you’re together.” 

He sighs. He’s pretty sure she’s right, though he doesn’t want to say as much and risk hurting her feelings. He’d tried to be happy without Alex… It had crashed and burned. 

“Is that why you broke up with me?” he asks, crossing his arms and leaning against the back of the bar. “For him?” 

“That’s not the only reason and you know it,” she says with a pointed look. 

“Yeah.” 

Because he does. They were never going to see eye to eye on her decision not to wear the bracelet and he would have respected her choices enough to stop asking, but it would have destroyed him to do so. Still does. Seeing her bare wrist terrifies him. 

“That song wasn’t for me,” he says, changing the topic before he can ask her to wear it again. He has no right. Not anymore. He’s not sure he ever did. 

“Michael,” she says his name like she’s exhausted. 

“No,” he cuts her off. “Listen. I know it was about me, but it wasn’t for me. He didn’t invite me to the Pony. He sang it for himself. And if you’d heard the lyrics, you would have heard him say there’s a battle he’s gotta fight alone right now.” 

“But it’s you he’s fighting for. Yeah, I know. I made him play it for me,” she says. 

“You did?” Somehow, he assumed she wouldn’t be interested in listening to a love song sung by her best friend about her recently ex-boyfriend. 

“It was good.” 

Michael can’t help the smile that comes. “Of course it was good. It was Alex.” 

Maria gives him an amused look until he looks away and schools his expression better. 

“So what’s the problem?” 

“I just think that Alex needs time,” he says. 

Maria rolls her eyes. 

“No, really,” he says, annoyed that everyone treats him like he’s stupid whenever he says that. He’s not being needlessly difficult. He’s trying to do the right thing and thinking of the long term rather than just acting on how he feels in the moment. “I think he needs time to get over some things before he’s ready. And honestly? I need time too. To get over…” he trails off before he can say ‘us.’ 

She hears it anyway. 

“I didn’t mean to hurt you,” she says. 

“I know… Still did.” He doesn’t mean it to make her feel bad, but it’s the truth. And he’s trying to be better about being honest about his feelings.

She smiles sadly, eyes watery. 

“Don’t worry about it, DeLuca,” he says, hating that she’s upset. 

She gives him a look like she always does when she thinks he’s diminishing something that he shouldn’t. He walks around the bar to stand next to her and places his hand on her shoulder. 

“So long as we can still be friends, I’ll be okay,” he says. “Sex was good and all, but mostly, I miss talking to you.” 

“Nobody told you that you had to avoid the Pony on my shifts,” she says. He ducks his head but she chases him so he can’t look away. “I’ll always be here for you.” 

“Good,” he says. “Me too.” 

“Good.” She smiles. 

Send your RNM prompts here

[ineverlookavvay]

I'm still here hoping (that one day you may come back)

Set during the lost decade. After years apart, Alex and Michael spend a night together.

Fic prompt: “I don’t want you to go.”  - Day 3 of Michael Guerin Week 2020

content warning for alcohol, semi-explicit sex, self-destructive behavior

Read it on Ao3 

Michael slammed the door to his truck and took a breath, looking around to see if anyone else was loitering in the parking lot of the bar.  Too many people, too dangerous to do what he wanted and throw something heavy across the lot with his mind, but too much energy to go inside.  Instead, he slammed his fist against the side of the truck, reveling in the way the blow rang through his bones.  

It was a Friday night, so of course the parking lot wasn’t empty, which was good since Michael was looking for a fight tonight.  He was getting good at recognizing the types of truck that usually belonged to the kind of guy he didn’t mind going to jail for pummeling, and there were several excellent contenders. 

Satisfied with the potential, he strode into the Wild Pony, avoiding Maria’s gaze and slipping into a seat at the bar.  He was enough of a regular that he barely had to motion to the guy behind the bar to order a drink.   

“Don’t you have a trailer to loiter in?”  Maria sauntered up, leaning on the bar like she owned the damn place instead of her mom.    

“Can’t you afford to hire other people to work here?”  Michael shot back, accepting the drink the actual bartender slid in front of him and smirking at her when she frowned.  “Go away, I’m a paying customer.”

“Tabs don’t count.”

Michael gave her an actual smile, even though he felt like screaming and crying and tearing the entire town down to splinters.  “No, but see, I’m promising to someday be a paying customer.  That’s just as good.”  She put her hands on her hips, staring him down.  Michael was struck again by how ridiculously unfair it was that being an adult was just the same as being in high school, except everyone felt even more entitled.  The able-to-drink-in-public part is better though.  “Are you gonna take away my drink?” he asked inflammatorily.  “No?  Then goodbye.”   She rolled her eyes but walked away.    

Michael sipped his bourbon and slipped some acetone into it.  More than he should, probably, but numb was better than whatever he was currently feeling.  Numb had always been better than the noise and the tangle of thoughts and the pain—all of the fucking pain—and the worry.  

It shouldn’t have even been this bad.  It was just a party, an engagement party, for Isobel and her utterly normal, friendly boyfriend.  Well, fiancé, now.   

Michael wasn’t sure what it was about the whole thing that made him feel the way he did.  Maybe it was that reminder of Max and Isobel’s happy, wealthy family, and how completely unaware the Evanses were of the ridiculousness of throwing a gauzy, white party in the middle of the desert.  He could always see in their eyes that they were glad when he left, even if they pretended otherwise.  Or maybe it was that Isobel had actually found someone to marry, an actual companion, someone who didn’t make her sad, who didn’t make her feel so much that it ached.  

Not that Michael was looking for someone to marry.  Fuck, no.  He was happy chasing the smaller highs of casual hookups.  Or at least, he was content with it.  He’d had his taste of that something else, of that ache, of that feeling they wrote melodramatic poetry about; he’d had his chance and it had been too much.  Too much for someone like Michael, too much to sustain, too much to sacrifice for when he didn’t have anything to give except himself, and even that was small and insufficient.  

That summer, the three of them had become bad people, the kind of people who cover up a murder for their own good, no matter how justified it might have seemed.  And while Max and Isobel dealt with it by being the very best, upstanding citizen parodies of themselves, Michael just stopped acting like anything mattered.  He wasn’t a cowboy, or an upstanding citizen, or a drunkard, or anything—he was only himself.  And one of these days, he was going to get off this forsaken planet and become something.  

But until then, he split his mind between working and going to Isobel’s parties and pretending he didn’t hate every minute of it.  The engagement party had been semi-formal, which meant Michael had put on a clean shirt and jeans, and grudgingly accepted the tie she thrust at him when he walked in the door (now buried somewhere on the floor of the truck).  He’d put on a smile and he’d toasted the happy couple and he’d tried to stem that idiotic part of him that had the nerve to feel jealous.  

The jealousy, and the sadness, and the feelings of inferiority weren’t even the worst part.  The worst part was that they’d gone years and years without telling anyone their secret, and now Isobel was getting married.  She was literally going to swear to be honest and faithful and whatever else, and Michael couldn’t help but feel a little worried that she would want to tell all her secrets to this man she was planning to spend her life with.  All of their secrets.  No matter how much she protested that she didn’t want that, that she wanted a normal marriage, it was still concerning.

Michael finished the drink and another one appeared.  Got to love being a regular, even if he wished he had a nicer place to haunt.  He took a drink and tipped more acetone in, glancing around the bar for someone to talk to, or hit on, or just plain hit.  And his eyes fell on someone walking through the door: Alex. 

Michael turned back to the bar immediately, taking a drink with shaking fingers.  Fuck.  This wasn’t the right night for his first lov—his high school ex, who he hadn’t seen in years, to come wandering back into his life.  Then again, Michael wasn’t sure there ever would be a right night for it.  

They hadn’t talked.  The end of that summer had turned into one nightmarish day after the next—Michael had his first string of arrests, his first nights in the drunk tank, all to try and chase the memory of that night from his mind, to chase away the disappointed look Alex had given him when Michael admitted that he wasn’t going to college after all.  It wasn’t like he could say, ‘I have to stay and keep an eye on my homicidal alien sister.’  Things had been bad enough before he’d woken up one morning to find that Alex was gone.  Really, actually gone.  

That had been the worst string of nights Michael had experienced since he’d learned to punch back.  

Michael looked around again, unable to stop himself.  He wasn’t sure if Alex had seen him, and besides that, he wasn’t sure if Alex would give any fucks about him.  Probably not, which was fair.  The only people who did give a fuck about Michael were Max and Isobel, and they didn’t have a choice.  

The problem was that Michael was smart.  Smart enough to have noticed which tables were empty in the bar when Alex walked in, to find him within seconds at one of them, talking to Maria.  Michael was too smart to believe that his shaking hands weren’t the prelude to something larger and more fantastic and extremely not attached to him shaking, to think that he was going to be able to sit there at the bar and drink like nothing at all is different and—fuck.

Michael accidentally met Alex’s gaze and immediately ducked his head down, like he could somehow hide behind nothing, when it was clear that Alex had already seen him.  Michael’s head was too fuzzy already to have a good sense of what Alex’s expression had looked like, the whole bar was suddenly too loud and chaotic for him to grasp something as intangible as a social cue.  

Maria slid up to the bar and leaned over it to grab two beers, looking sideways at Michael.  “What’s wrong, Guerin?  Someone bigger and stronger steal the girl you were eyeing?” 

He mimed laughter.  “Funny.”  Michael swallowed the remainder of his drink and stood up, feeling a little bit wobbly and not from the bourbon.  “Save your material, I’m leaving.”

Maria looked happy he was going, which was just the icing on the damn cake.  Absolutely no one wanted to see Michael, and he wasn’t even really drunk enough to pick a worthwhile fight.  He spared another quick glance at Alex’s table, ignoring how it made his pulse speed, ignoring that Alex still looked good as hell, and shoving his still shaking hands in his pockets as he walked past and out of the bar. 

He didn’t go to his truck though.  There was nothing waiting for Michael anywhere else, and he was far too wired for sleep.  Maybe he could still find something to do while he waited for Alex to leave so he could have the bar to himself.  Michael slipped into the shadows, leaning against the wall of the building and taking the momentary lull in parking lot foot traffic as an opportunity to sip a little more from his flask of acetone. 

He wasn’t sure what he was waiting for, but standing there in the warm night air, with the faint sound of music and laughter seeping through the windows, he felt almost okay.  It was almost enough to unsnarl his mind for a moment.  

And then the door opened, and Alex stepped out of the bar.  

Michael’s breath caught as he waited to see if anyone was with Alex, but no one else appeared.  He couldn’t tell if Alex was intentionally walking towards him, or just walking with his fingertips trailing the side of the building, but either way, in a matter of moments they were closer than they’d been in a long, long time.  

It wasn’t the right night for this.  Michael felt like he needed someone, he had been thinking about their time right after high school anyway, and now he felt unmoored and uncontrollable and like if he was going to make a mistake, he might as well dive in.  Michael reached out as Alex drew near him and grabbed Alex’s hand, pulling him into the shadows where Michael was lurking.  

“Guerin,” Alex breathed, and it didn’t sound like anger.  

“Alex.”  Michael’s hands were shaking.  

“How are you?”  Alex hadn’t pulled his hand away, and Michael honestly wasn’t sure if that was a good sign or a terrible sign.  But it was contact.  What aliens crave.  “I saw you before, inside, but I wasn’t sure if—”

“What are you doing here?”  Michael asked abruptly.  

Alex smiled, surprised, and it was all nostalgia and ache and the burning brightness of a star.  “I’m on leave.”  

If it had been another night, if Michael hadn’t been feeling raw and lonely, if he was a little more or a little less drunk, if his hands weren’t shaking like damn leaves.  But it was, and he was, and they were.  It was a foregone conclusion.  

“Wanna go for a drive?”     

Alex nodded, and Michael hated how it made his chest clench. 

They drove into the middle of nowhere, far enough away from lights that the stars blinked into view.  Michael just drove, and god help him, it reminded him of that summer, driving out to the middle of the desert just to be alone with each other.  And here Alex was, again, sitting just too far across the bench seat of Michael’s truck, making idle conversation and good-naturedly criticizing every song that came on the radio.    

Eventually, Michael found a place to park, cutting the engine and the radio off.  They sat in silence for a long, terrible moment.  “Nicer view from the bed,” Michael said without thinking about the wording, and Alex laughed nervously.  

“Yeah, okay.”

They clambered out and into the truck bed, and Michael was glad he’d recently washed some of the blankets he kept thrown in there.  Alex sat with his knees pulled up to his chest, while Michael lounged across the other side, trying to make himself look more put together than he felt.  Alex looked at the stars and Michael looked at Alex.  He looked good—older, and maybe more tired, and he was missing the jewelry and eyeliner that was so endearingly rebellious.  He looked quieter, somehow, and the thought of that made something in Michael want to scream.  

“I forgot how quiet it was,” Alex said eventually, looking over at Michael.  His eyes were the same, or at least they still made Michael feel achingly adrift.

“Must be a nice change.” Michael had no idea what he was saying, he was just trying not to let the conversation die.  Alex laughed wryly.  “How’ve you really been?”

Alex shrugged.  “You really want to hear about it?”

Michael didn’t.  The idea of Alex—Alex who was good and real and made him ache—off fighting someone else’s wars made Michael sick to his stomach, made him want to flip the damn truck over.  

“I’ve spent all day talking about the Air Force,” Alex said eventually.

“Okay, so tell me something else about you,” Michael said.

“I’m glad to see you,” Alex said, staring straight at Michael, like he was daring him to argue.  “I wasn’t sure you’d still be here.”

“Well, I am.  For now.”  It was a lie—Michael wasn’t leaving Roswell unless it was in a flying saucer—but the lie made reality easier to bear. 

“I’m leaving tomorrow.”  The information was offered before Michael could decide if he wanted to know.  Alex’s phone chimed from where he’d left it in the cab.  “And I had plans for tonight.”   

“Breaking plans to bum around with me?  I’m honored.”

“When you looked at me in the bar, I forgot all about them,” Alex continued, sounding mildly disgusted with himself.  

Michael swallowed hard.  “When I looked at you in the bar, I forgot about everything else.”  It was easier, out here, to say things like that, knowing it was just between him and Alex and the desert and the night sky—and Alex would be gone tomorrow.      

“Are you still getting into fights?  Still drinking?  Still getting arrested?”  He sounded hopeful.  That just made it all worse.  

Michael looked down at the blanket he was sitting on, worrying the edge of it between the fingers of his bad hand.  “Not currently.”  Alex’s hand suddenly reached out and grasped his fingers, stopping the fidgeting.  Michael looked up and Alex was closer, their faces inches apart.  

“Just for tonight,” Alex said, and Michael nodded, unable to turn away even if his life depended on it.  Alex smiled like he couldn’t help it, and then pressed his lips to Michael’s.

Everything was quiet.  Everything was eclipsed by the desire, the ache, the need to press as much of himself to Alex as possible.  Alex’s lips were more chapped than Michael remembered, but otherwise it was the same—the same swooping sensation in his stomach, the same warm wet pressure, the same fervent way Alex licked Michael’s lips until he deepened the kiss.  Michael bit back the high, needy noise threatening to burst out of him, wrapping his hand around Alex’s waist, holding him as close as possible when they were both awkwardly sitting side by side in the truck bed.  It was enough.  

Michael had asked Isobel how it felt to kiss Noah, once.  It was under the guise of teasing, but he had really wondered if everyone had the same brilliantly overwhelming feelings he experienced with Alex, like nothing else mattered but the two of them, like nothing else even existed.  Michael hadn’t felt that with anyone else, but no one else had been nearly as important as Alex was to him, as Noah seemed to be to Isobel.  Isobel had laughed, and said something cliched and cute, but it hadn’t come anywhere near the words he would use to describe kissing Alex.  And now, he wasn’t sure that he hadn’t undersold the experience in his memory. 

They fell back against the blankets, legs intertwined.  It was perfect until Michael misjudged and hit his elbow on the side of the truck with a bang and a loud “Fuck!”  Michael slid quickly away from the offending metal, closer to Alex, and Alex giggled, hiding the sound in the curve of Michael’s neck.  Michael filed that away, the sound of Alex giggling, deep in his memory, a balm for the really bad moments.  

His face still tucked into the juncture between Michael’s neck and shoulder, Alex turned the laughter into kisses, pressing them along the sensitive skin of Michael’s neck.  Michael ran his good fingers along Alex’s spine, and Alex shivered at the light touch.  Michael felt good, he felt weightless, like he’d been carrying an invisible weight, and now Alex was lifting it. 

Alex’s fingers plucked at the edge of Michael’s shirt, and Michael let Alex peel it off of him, the air and anticipation prickling at his bare skin.  Alex touched Michael with a look of reverence, running his hands along the lines of Michael’s collarbones, tripping across his nipples, stroking over his ribs, smoothing the line of his stomach.  Michael had forgotten how this felt, to have someone really want him, really want to touch him, in a way that felt intimate instead of rushed and anonymous.  It made him feel powerful and incredibly vulnerable.

Michael tugged at the buttons on Alex’s shirt, slipping them from their holes, slowly revealing skin, an exceptional tease.  Alex huffed a laugh as Michael’s tugging became more insistent, the last button popping clean off the shirt, rolling across the metal of the truck bed.  They crashed together, gripping each other’s hips, pressing their skin together and kissing messily.   

It was just like the last time, except the sting of that summer was dulled; over time, it had been overtaken by the way that Michael ached when he thought about how long it had been since he’d seen Alex, how many nights he’d spent lying in bed hoping that nothing terrible had happened to him.  They were both still eager, and they both seemed to want it just as much.  The difference was that Michael knew now that this wasn’t just a summer fling, that it never could be; the difference was that Michael knew that something in him broke every time Alex left, and he would have to try his best to rebuild himself tonight because in the morning, it would break again.  

Michael ran his fingers arounds the waist of Alex’s pants—soft, ticklish caresses that made Alex’s breath catch, his exhales twisting towards a moan.  Michael undid the fiddly zipper of Alex’s pants, letting out his own moan at the sudden expanse of skin as Alex helped pull them off, at the suggestive bulge of Alex’s cock beneath his boxers.  Michael’s pants were off after another moment, hurried motions that made both of them giggle and moan like teenagers.     

Filled with the restless energy of want, Michael pressed Alex back down on the blankets, rolling to hover over him, sweeping his eyes over all of Alex’s skin.  Their kisses were heated, spurred on by their bodies sliding together.  Michael could feel every nerve in his body reacting to touching Alex, every bit of him lit up and conscious of Alex’s every movement, every sigh, every push of his hips against Michael’s, every look and every kiss burning through him. 

Alex pulled away, breathing hard, his hand tangling in Michael’s hair.  “Christ, I missed you,” he whispered, quiet even though no one else was around.  He sounded wrecked, and Michael felt the sound sear itself in his memory.  

Michael took a deep breath.  Alex was smiling up at him, looking blissful; Alex was here, with him, and he had to make it count, to make it good for Alex, because Michael knew with a sudden certainty that he wouldn’t be able to survive it if Alex came home the next time and didn’t fall into his arms.  Michael spent so much time disappointing so many people, but this—loving Alex—this he could do. 

“You look nervous,” Alex said, later, when they were both naked and Michael had found the lube he kept stashed in the glove compartment.  

“No,” Michael laughed, running his tongue along the sensitive skin by Alex’s hip.  “It’s just been a while since I did this with someone I liked as much as you.”

Then Michael’s mouth was on Alex’s cock and Alex’s response turned into a moan, his voice rising into the quiet air as Michael tried to say everything he really wanted to say without any words and hoped Alex would understand.

Hours later, as they lay wrapped together in blankets and each other, sweat cooling on their skin, Michael ran his hand through Alex’s hair and wished he had the power to slow time.  Alex’s hair was longer in high school, and Michael regretted slightly that he couldn’t pull on it the way he remembered Alex liking.  It was just another reminder that things were different now, that Alex was going to leave for someplace he might never come back from, while Michael dug his own grave slowly in Roswell. 

“That’s nice, Michael,” Alex said, leaning into Michael’s touch.  Michael pressed kisses to his cheeks, his forehead, his lips—gentle, unhurried kisses, the kind they never got to have in high school.  There was always some danger lurking around the corner, the fear of being seen, of being caught; now the only threat was the sun, and the morning that would take Alex away.    

“Only nice?” Michael teased, kissing along Alex’s jaw, down his neck.  “Do I have to demonstrate my charms again?”  He pressed his hips toward Alex suggestively. 

“Nice is good,” Alex replied, sighing as he leaned closer to Michael.  “And this was perfect.”

Don’t leave, he wanted to say.  Instead, he rocked their bodies together again more purposefully as he felt Alex respond.  They gripped each other like they could hold together the things threatening to tear them apart with every passing minute, kissing with renewed passion, making the most of what time they had.  

They hadn’t slept at all when the sun started to rise, painting the broad expanse of the desert with color and light, or at least Michael hadn’t.  Alex was dozing, and Michael was watching him, watching the way the glow of the early morning made Alex’s skin golden, the way his eyelashes fluttered as he dreamed, the dark red of his well-kissed lips.  It would have been creepy to take a photo, but Michael wished he’d brought his phone out of the cab, wished he had a picture of Alex looking peaceful and fucking radiant, to remind himself that not everything was shit all of the time.  Instead, Michael looked and looked and tried to etch the image onto his memory. 

Alex stirred, blinking awake and smiling up at Michael.  “Hey.”  His voice was thick with sleep and sex, and Michael’s chest felt tight at the thought he might never get to hear that again.  He’d never admit it, but while Alex slept, Michael had mentally seriously considered the pros and cons of joining the damn Air Force himself just to have some piece of Alex around him all the time.

“Mornin’,” Michael drawled, kissing Alex’s eyelids, kissing Alex’s hand, kissing Alex everywhere he could see.  Alex yawned and Michael grinned.  “Tired?”

Alex’s face slipped from contentment to something sadder and more complicated.  “Hey, that’s the first time we’ve both actually slept in the same place.”

“Speak for yourself,” Michael replied, then switched tactics when Alex’s face dropped a bit.  “Yeah, I know.”  He paused, watching Alex’s expression brighten.  “I liked it.”

“Me too.”  

The sun sped higher in the sky, drenching them in light.  Michael wondered what would happen if he tried to telekinetically move the sun back towards the East.  Probably worse than just a nosebleed.

Alex started to root around for his clothing in the mess of blankets, shooting Michael small smiles despite the aura of sadness surrounding them.  Alex pulled on his pants and slid off the back of the truck, standing up and looking around them like he was cataloguing his surroundings.  Michael sighed and pulled on his own jeans, trying to ignore how final it felt.  

“So.”  It was stranger, in the light, with Alex standing up and out of reach.  “You going back to some buff Air Force boyfriend?”

Alex laughed, glancing over his shoulder and raising an eyebrow at Michael.  “You going back to some drunk townie?”  It stung, a little, and after all hadn’t Michael been trying to sting him by asking first.  Alex sighed, turning back to Michael fully, his face suddenly sadder and less guarded.  “Don’t worry, Guerin, you’ve ruined me for anyone else.”

Guerin.  After being Michael all night, it hurt more than he expected.  Michael’s chest tightened at the name, at the offhand remark, and he wanted nothing more than to agree, to tell Alex that he felt the same and have it ring with truth, to admit that nothing else could ever stand up to whatever it was they stumbled upon at 17—but he couldn’t.  He couldn’t because Alex was leaving and there wasn’t a damn thing Michael could do about it, because Michael was still himself and now that it was light he could feel the unease spreading over him, because they were different people now than who they had been years ago, and it was nothing but foolish to pretend that nothing had changed.  

“I don’t want you to go,” Michael said instead, petulantly.  

Alex smiled sadly and shook his head.  He pulled his shirt on, tucking it in to hide the missing bottom button, and walked back to the passenger door of the truck.  Done.  Finito.  

Michael sighed, blinking back the heat sitting in the corners of his eyes, threatening to become something he couldn’t laugh off.  Michael would only let himself cry in one place, and that was alone in his trailer, where no one could see or hear him, where no one could sense any weakness. 

Michael started the truck before realizing he had no idea where Alex wanted to be taken.  Not home, because home was still his father’s house, and Michael avoided that place like the plague.  

“You can drop me off at the Wild Pony,” Alex said quietly.  “I’ll get a ride from Mimi.”

“Right.”

It wasn’t a long drive.  Far too short, but neither of them talked.  They sat in silence, the cab filling with unspoken words, dread and sadness neither of them could force past their lips.  Michael wanted to tell him to be careful, wanted to beg him to stay, wanted to cry and scream and protest that it wasn’t fair for something to be this important and still be impermanent.  He drove in silence and parked at the edge of the lot, giving Alex the chance to sneak away without being obvious about where he was coming from.  That hurt, too. 

“Oh, hey.”  Alex paused with his hand on the door latch.  “I have something for you, don’t leave.”  He climbed out of the car and went running towards the building.  

Michael stared after him, his hand on the gear shift, ready to escape if anyone else appeared, certain he’d misheard the request to wait.  He could vaguely make out a figure in the doorway handing Alex a bundle of fabric—probably Mimi—and Alex gestured at her to go inside before running back towards Michael.  

He pulled open the door and slid back inside, handing Michael a thin cd case.  Michael took it cautiously and Alex shrugged, clearly embarrassed.  “It’s um—it’s a mix cd.  I made it a while ago, thought maybe you could use some good music for a change and it—it made me think of you, so.”  

Michael considered the cd, brushing his fingers against the plastic, a sheet of paper with Alex’s handwriting on the inside of the case, listing a bunch of songs he didn’t know.  It was very plain, no doodled hearts or personalization or anything, but still, it was something tangible that came from Alex, something Michael could hold, something given to him on purpose.  He looked up at Alex with something like wonder.  “Thank you,” he breathed, then recovering some swagger, “Knowing your music taste, not sure that counts as a gift, but…thanks.”

Alex smiled, and pulled Michael in for a kiss, short and searing and carrying so much that was unsaid that Michael felt the weight of it settle over him.  He wasn’t ready for Alex to leave again, he was never going to be ready, and Alex was always going to leave because Michael was never going to be enough to keep him.  That’s just how it was, but Michael knew he would never be able to stop trying to be enough. 

“I think I might love you,” Michael said against Alex’s lips, unable to hold back the surge of emotion.  

“Don’t.”  

Alex breathed in sharply, and Michael could see a tear fall from Alex’s eye, neither of them acknowledging it.  He kissed Michael again fiercely, and Michael knew it still wasn’t enough, and he knew that Alex wasn’t going to reply, and he knew that he would swallow it down and disappoint everyone and life would go on.  It was inevitable that Alex would pull away, and it wasn’t until he did that Michael realized their hands were clenched together, the cd lying in his lap.  

They didn’t do goodbyes, so Alex just smiled tightly and slipped out of the truck and into the bar, and that was it.  

Michael drove home.  He parked the truck and climbed into the trailer and showered, washing Alex Manes and every painful emotion he brought up down the drain with the soapy water.  

Clean and changed and exhausted, Michael tried unsuccessfully to focus on work.  His gaze kept going back to the stupid mix cd—who even did that anymore?—and eventually he gave in, rolling his eyes and trying not to feel anything as he started the cd playing.  

He didn’t know the songs, and it wasn’t his taste, and it didn’t matter in the least.  Michael sat on his bed and listened to the songs that reminded Alex of him.  

Sitting there, Michael imagined that he could hear the sound of a jet overhead, carrying Alex out of New Mexico and out of Michael’s grasp; he imagined he could hear Alex’s footsteps, his uniform shoes clicking on the tiled airport floor, tapping anxiously against the floor of his father’s car.  Michael listened to the cd and it felt like senior year; it felt like everything he’d ever tried to forget because it hurt and Michael didn’t know what to do with hurt except swallow it down or drink it dull; it felt like lying in the middle of the desert watching the sunlight dance on Alex’s face as he slept.  

Michael listened to the cd again when it finished, and then again, and he let himself fall apart, alone in his trailer, mourning the life that they could have had, mourning the life that they never would.  He listened until his eyes were sore and red and his chest burned with longing and he felt drained and exhausted.  And then he took the cd and slipped it back into its case and put it inside of a cabinet, buried beneath other things, and tried to remember how to forget. 

[mrfeenysmustache]

Some Family is Found

Summary: A collection of vignettes about the Higurashi family, from Single Dad Souta, schoolyard fights, blended family of three then four, and learning to let go and let fate take control.

"Papa Souta!"

Yanked from sleep with a harsh gasp, Souta was already half rolled out of bed and running before his eyes had fully opened. He knew that tone, scared and frail and small, and his body had become well trained over the last year to respond to it immediately.

He dashed quickly from his room to hers, throwing open the door and flinging himself inside right to her little bed where she sat wide eyed and terrified much like she had been when he'd first laid eyes on her.

"Towa! I'm here. You're safe. It was just another nightmare."

No sooner had he sat next to her had she thrown herself into his arms, shaking and snuggling while he crooned wordlessly and petted her soft, white hair.

The first time she'd called him Papa had been a night just like this one. A handful of months passed with her in his care and every night she woke in a fright, babbling about sisters and fires and someone named Setsuna. She'd clung to him just this way, rubbed her sniffling little nose into his shoulder and called him Papa with a shaky sigh that bound his heart right up.

Her nightmares came further apart from that night on, but every once in a while he was still needed to chase away the darkness.

"It's okay, it will all be alright." He shushed gently, swaying her back and forth while he scratched at her scalp and rubbed her back. Eventually she quieted down and then went limp with sleep again. He tucked her back into her bed, smoothed the hair back from her forehead and smiled at the peace that returned to her little cherub face.

He checked her alarm clock and sighed; it was early enough that she wouldn't normally be up, but his own alarm clock was about to go off, signaling his painfully early study hour. He was almost done with his degree and then waking before the sun could, hopefully, become a thing of the past. With one last look at the sweetly sleeping face of his little daughter, Souta quietly left her room to return to his own.

———

The bell chimed the end of the day and a flurry of tiny bodies rushed passed him, giggling and squealing and eager to leave the school yard behind until tomorrow. Souta gulped and straightened his shoulders before striding across the lawn and entering the doors once the last of the children had filtered out.

He'd spent enough of his own childhood here to know where he was going, and his legs carried him unconsciously to the principals office where he'd been called in for an important meeting.

He steeled himself at the door and took another deep breath before opening it dipping his head in greeting to the principal and eyeing the wilted form of the white haired toddler he'd been asked to come in to discuss.

His heart panged at the sight of her, his normally vibrant girl so small and sad and dejected, one of her pigtails drooping and a bright red scuff mark marring her round cheek.

'Oh no...'

"Higurashi-San, Thank you for coming."

"Of course." He replied, sitting in the empty seat across from the large desk.

A pair of sad red eyes shifted his way and he smiled softly, reassuringly.

The principal finally looked up from her paper work and blinked, looking perplexed before adjusting her glasses.

"I'm so sorry, there must be some confusion, I believe I requested that Towa-Chan's mother or father come in to speak today."

Souta winced internally, but kept his expression genial and placid.

"Yes, you did. There's no confusion. I am Higurashi Souta, Towa-Chan's father."

The principal blinked again and cleared her throat, looking between he and little Towa with a glint in her eye he didn't appreciate.

"My, you certainly look very young to be a father." She said crisply, and Souta bristled and struggled to keep his tone polite.

"I'm sure it doesn't surprise you to know I hear that quite a lot."

"Yes well. Let's get to the point, shall we? Towa-Chan has been exhibiting some shocking behavior of late. We are very concerned."

"As are we, she's made us aware that she's been on the receiving end of some unfair teasing."

The principal sniffed and shuffled her papers before folding her hands primly.

"Be that as it may, we can not tolerate violence against our other children, and Towa has instigated several physical altercations this week alone. Unless something drastic is done, she is risking expulsion."

His eyes widened and he sat up straighter in his seat, meeting the principal's gaze unflinchingly before looking once again on Towa. She still didn't look up, staring at her feet and making herself as small as possible. It broke his heart, and he heaved a sigh before looking back to the principal with a smile.

"I understand. I'll talk with her tonight. Thank you for your time."

He stood and scooped Towa up from her seat. She curled into him and he strode quickly out of the building. He stopped on the stairs to switch her over to his back, and after hooking his arms behind her knees she rested her head against his shoulder and sighed a forlorn sigh.

"I'm sorry Papa Souta. I caused so much trouble."

Her little voice, small and broken, tore into him, and he wondered if he might be doing something wrong.

He knew he was young to be a father, especially to a school aged child like Towa. She was barely six, but he wasn't quite out of university just yet, and was far from the ideal situation for having small, helpless people depending on you. He still had so much to learn himself.

"Don't worry about it Towa-Chan. No one wants to be picked on. You just need to remember your strength. You aren't like the other kids, you're much stronger."

"Okay." It was barely above a whisper, and Souta hated for her to sound like that.

The rest of the journey home was made in heavy silence, but Mama Higurashi swept in to lend her gentle touch and Souta watched Towa brighten a little under her attention.

Cookies and tea and an affectionate pat on the head as her grandmother helped her color a picture soon had Towa back on track and Souta sighed in relief.

"Why don't you go and study for your upcoming final and leave us girls to our own business, hm?"

"Thanks mama."

——

Mama Higurashi tearfully hung the picture she'd taken just a few nights before on the wall, brimming with love and pride.

Souta smiled back from the center of the frame draped in his graduation gown with Towa beaming atop his shoulders, his graduation cap covering her white hair.

It's not what she ever expected the photo of his university graduation would look like, but she glanced at the high school graduation photo of her firstborn daughter and grinned.

Both of her children seemed fated to walk interesting paths that twisted off from the rigid one set in place by society at large.

She couldn't say she was anything but proud.

A squeal of delight drew her attention to the window nearby and she watched indulgently as Souta scooped Towa up before falling to the ground with her, tickling her sides while she laughed and wiggled away.

A thread of worry wrapped around her heart then and she said a silent prayer that this new school year coming up for her would be easier than the last.

A new school, a fresh start, hopefully her granddaughter would fare better with the students at this school than she had before. She was such a dear girl with an unshakable sense of justice that she already couldn't help but fight tooth and nail for.

The sun glowed off her little white pony tails and her smile stretched freely across her face, and Mama Higurashi found herself wondering not for the first time if they hadn't ended up adopting Kagome and Inuyasha's child.

She looked very little like them aside from her hair color, but she certainly had Kagome's sense of right and wrong and Inuyasha's strength to back it up.

The likelihood of that was low, especially as she'd only ever spoken of someone named Setsuna.

"Well, time to call them in for dinner."

———

"I'm sorry Papa Souta. I cause you so much trouble..."

"It's alright Towa. I was thinking this other school would be better for you anyway. They have a wrestling team!"

Her eyes still held a glimmer of uncertainty and guilt, and though he was was stressed and concerned, he didn't want her shouldering such feelings all the time.

He knew she remembered her life before he'd found her on his front lawn, that she'd come from somewhere else before they'd taken her in, before he'd decided raise her as his own child, and he had a suspicion that she feared he might one day grow tired of her escapades and be done with her.

But he just couldn't. She may not have come from him, but she was his.

He was going to stick with her no matter what.

We have to go pick up your uniform next week, they have several colors to choose from, is there one you like best?"

He handed her the brochures and watched her nose scrunch up at the list of pictures of skirts with different colors and numbers of pleats, and bit his lip to keep from laughing outright.

"Um, no, I don't have any preferences."

"You're sure?"

"Anything is fine, really!"

"Alright. Well, have you been practicing with the sword you found with grandpa the other day?"

Suddenly her face lit up like the sun, and Souta sat back and listened while she detailed all the things she'd been practicing that she'd seen on various internet videos.

Her last teacher had admonished him for allowing her to peruse such interests.

'It's wildly unlady like. You should not be encouraging swordplay from a girl who already can't control her violent urges with her peers!'

She'd even thrown in a barb about her lack of a mother.

But while Souta agreed that Towa needed to be less violent while at school, he couldn't imagine discouraging her from the things she loved, even if they weren't the most feminine.

She bounced around the room, showing him some of the swings and stabs she'd nearly mastered and he couldn't help but think her Aunt would be so proud to watch her follow in her footsteps.

———-

"Grammy, when will Papa Souta be home again?"

"Oh much later I think Dear. I'll be tucking you in tonight, is that alright?"

Towa nodded solemnly but then burst into bright giggles when she saw her grandmother pull the secret stash of cookies out from the back of the cleaning cabinet.

"It's a big night Towa, what say we celebrate early?"

Mama Higurashi sat on the couch and let Towa settle in beside her before opening the box and letting her select two.

"One for each hand!" She chirped, smiling up at her, red eyes glimmering. It was their long standing tradition and she cherished how much her rapidly growing granddaughter still enjoyed it. She was now teetering on the edge of childhood, a vibrant girl rapidly approaching her pre-teen years.

"One for each hand my darling."

"So... you think she'll say yes?"

Mama eyed her granddaughter for a moment, but her face was unreadable.

"I do. She's a lovely woman."

"Yeah. She is."

"Do you not wish for her to join the family?"

Towa crunched into her cookie and chewed thoughtfully for a moment.

"It's not that. What if she doesn't like living with me all the time?"

"Oh Towa honey, Moe-Chan loves you! She's probably the most understanding person we've ever known. She's certainly taken everything in stride."

"She makes Papa Souta happy."

"She does. You know most of all he wants you to be happy though, right dear?"

"And I want him to be happy too. So yes, I hope she says yes tonight." Towa replied, leaning into her grandmother's side.

"Can we watch my favorite movie tonight?"

"That awful horror film? No chance young lady!"

Towa erupted into giggles while her grandmother put on calm, soothing movie they both enjoyed, and Towa drifted off into sleep feeling safe and content.

———-

Moe Higurashi hovered awkwardly in the doorway between the kitchen and living room, watching Towa as she sat still as a statue at the dining table, head down and pillowed on her arms. She heaved a tired sigh, and Moe's heart constricted.

She'd known before she married Souta that his daughter had many troubles at school. She was strong and sure and didn't stand aside when others were being mistreated. Thus, she was often a target for those who wanted to prove themselves stronger than her.

Towa had started another new school just this week, and already the fighting had started again. She could practically feel the stress and guilt oozing off her young step-daughter's young shoulders, and she wanted so badly to do something about it without overstepping any boundaries.

An idea struck her and she stepped quietly away to retrieve her violin from her room. Towa had not moved an inch when she returned, and in fact didn't seem to be aware of anything outside of her own troubled thoughts.

Moe hesitated for one more moment before delicately clearing her through and startling Towa out of her funk.

"May I sit here please?"

Towa nodded and watched silently as Moe took the seat across from hers and began tuning the strings of her violin. And then, without a word, she brought the instrument up, held it in place, and pulled the bow across the strings. She played something low and soothing, something that filled the room as well as all the stormy spots in Towa's mind until she felt the tension melt from her.

She put her head back down, but this time Moe noted with pride that her shoulders were noticeably less rigid. She continued to play even after Towa lifted her head and listened with a smile.

———-

There had been many times in the month since bringing his new baby home that Souta thought his heart would burst open with love and pride and happiness, and this time was no different.

Little Mei, still so small and sleepy and new, was reclined comfortably on a soft blanket his mother had knitted. She was fast asleep, swaddled tightly into a little bundle, and Towa had stretched out on the floor next to her, gazing lovingly down at her and running her fingers over the soft, wispy hairs on her head. She was whispering something, something he couldn't quite make out, but the look of devotion on her face toward her new little sister took his breath away. They were as mismatched a set as he'd ever seen. Mei's soft brown hair and eyes contrasted sharply to the burning red of Towa's eyes, or the shock of silver that grew from her head, but they both lived deep inside his heart.

Moe entered from the opposite side of the room from the kitchen with a flour stained apron around her waist.

"There are my girls! Towa, I've brought you a cookie fresh from the oven."

"Thank you Mama Moe." She whispered in return, careful not to wake her sister, and Souta watched Moe valiantly attempt to keep her own emotions in check. He knew how much it meant to her that Towa had grown so close to her.

"Let me know if you need anything."

Moe went back into the kitchen, and Souta took another indulgent moment to watch his daughters begin forging their bond.

————

Souta held his smile until the moment the shining portal winked out of existence, and then his expression fell and he grabbed desperately for his mother's hand.He squeezed it and she responded immediately.

"Souta, what's wrong my son?"

"How-" he gulped around the fear rapidly growing and choking him, watched Moe scoop up a crying Mei, silent tears tracking down her own face, and knew the dam on his emotions would break soon. "How did you do it mama? How did you... how did you let Kagome go over and over and over? How were you always okay with this?!"

Mama sighed and rubbed his back, staring off into nothing for a moment as old fears and anxieties swam back up from the recesses of her memories.

"Come inside my dears, let me make you some tea and try to ease your worries. At least, let me help you try to manage them better than I was able."

Souta hung back until the others had filed inside and looked back at the place his daughter had just disappeared without a trace. He'd watched his sister vault over the well time and again and remembered the distant fears he'd had for her as a child.

But she'd had Inuyasha, his larger than life living legend brother-in-law who he was convinced could beat any opponent conceivable.

This time, he wasn't a child anymore, and this wasn't his sister.

This was his child, one he'd practically grown up with he'd been so young when he'd adopted her.

And though he knew what she was, the very same sort of being his childhood hero was, still he worried.

For her safety, for her wellbeing, for her life.

He closed his eyes, and for a moment he prayed, that she would remain safe and unharmed, that she would find what she was looking for, that she would solve her quest, that she would return to them.

And then he wiped the tears from his face, and turned from the Sacred Tree that had taken her away, and he walked inside, trailing pieces of his heart behind him.

[ugly-crying-over-bucky-barnes]

Name on a Coffee Cup

Summary: Modern!Tommy has become quite the coffee addict after he stopped smoking. But he didn’t realize he had become a constant in one of the barista’s life. 

//Probably because I really miss my coffeeshop because of this quarantine. Thanks to @justanothershelby​ for helping me beta and finish this. 

         “’Morning, Tommy, the usual?”

         Tommy looked up from his wallet, thoroughly confused. The morning rush at the cafe was typical, even some of the faces in the line he recognized, the sounds of the espresso machines were intermixing with conversation as usual, everything was normal. But there was a slight change in the routine that Tommy took notice to. The moment he’d walked up to the counter, the barista greeted him by name. Sure, maybe it wasn’t so strange. He gave his name every time he ordered, but he figured the people who worked there wouldn’t remember every single person who came into the café.

         Then it hit him. Maybe he was a man of strict habit because he bought coffee from the same café every morning and sometimes got another one in the afternoon if he was having a particularly stressful day.

         But he could only blame Ada and Polly. It started with Ada reprimanding him for smoking so much. His own baby sister had suddenly taken it upon herself to lecture him about the dangers of smoking. As if he didn’t already know. He wasn’t an idiot he just wasn’t…confident about quitting. He wasn’t the type of person who enjoyed failing. And if he failed himself, it would just put him in a worse mood.

         Then Polly started sending him research about lung cancer and other dangers of smoking. She called him one night and asked ‘What would it do to Charlie if he had to come visit you in the hospital while you’re dying?’. Tommy didn’t appreciate his own son being used against him. But it worked.

         And with the help of his family, he managed to go off cigarettes for almost six months. It still wasn’t easy. He felt the urge to smoke every so often, not nearly as much as the first few months where he was basically tearing his hair out because he had no other stress reliever.

         Then he found he could be in a much better mood in the morning when he was sufficiently caffeinated. Thus, starting his routine of going to the café downstairs from his work.

         “Erm, yeah, please.” He nodded.

         The barista, Ava was the pretty brunette who Tommy saw often.  She could often be heard chatting amicably with coworkers or customers. She had a beautiful smile and even prettier eyes. And when their eyes met, Tommy felt a little lost for words.

         “Three-fifty-two.” She rang him up at the till. 

         For a moment, he didn’t register her words. He heard her speak but didn’t seem to pick up on the meaning. “Oh-right, sorry.” He mumbled and pulled out money.

 ~~~~~~~~~~

         That’s when he started to notice her as Ava had noticed him. Every day from then on, she greeted him by name. Sometimes she didn’t even ask whether his order was the same. Sometimes, she started his order when she saw him in line. That way his coffee would be out moments later. Sometimes they chatted if it was quiet enough. If he was reading the paper at one of the tables, she’d come around idly sweeping up or cleaning another table and strike up a conversation. She had an easy way of holding a conversation that made Tommy more relaxed around her. And that was no easy feat.

         On Valentine’s Day, she drew a heart on his paper cup. Tommy thought it was just something they were doing for the holiday, but he noticed no one else’s cup had any decorations. He left smiling that day.

         In April, the company was having a little ‘bring your child to work day’. Tommy was hesitant about the idea. He didn’t think bringing his toddler into the office was such a good idea. But Lizzie coaxed him into it. That morning, he walked hand in hand with Charlie to the café.

         “Let’s get daddy’s coffee, aye? You want something?” Tommy picked up his son so he could view the pastry case.

         Charlie’s eyes widened at the display of cakes and muffins and cookies. “Fin!” He jabbed a pudgy finger at the case.

         “Muffin? That one?” Tommy pointed out a double chocolate chip muffin that Charlie would most likely take a shine too.

         “Yeah!”

         “Alright, let’s go order then.” Tommy walked up to the till.

         “Morning, Tommy.” Ava smiled when she saw him carrying his son. “And who’s this?” She asked.

         “This is me son, Charlie. Charles, say hello.”

         The toddler giggled and shyly buried his face in the crook of Tommy’s neck.

         “Gonna get one of those chocolate muffins as well.” He added since it wasn’t his usual order.

         “Of course. Oh, he’s precious, Tommy. He’s got your eyes and everything.” She remarked with a coo.

         “Got his mother’s hair though.” Tommy chuckled.

         “Well, she’s so lucky to have such a cute little munchkin.” Ava rang up the order.

         “Oh well…” It was always a conflict within Tommy if a stranger or just an acquaintance brought up Grace. Did he correct them and tell them she was deceased? Or did he just let it slide and risk the chance of having them find out later? It was a tricky slope. “We lost her last year. But it’s nice that he looks a lot like her.” He cleared his throat and realized he was getting a bit too personal with her.

         “Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” Ava replied sincerely. “I can’t imagine it’s easy being a single parent.” She said as she went to the case to retrieve the muffin.

         Tommy dropped his change into the tip jar as he always did. “Well, it isn’t the easiest job in the world but it’s worth it, aye Charlie?”

         The little boy leaned his cheek on Tommy’s shoulder, a little bored with the conversation he didn’t understand.

         Ava beamed. “Of course it is.”

         “Do you have any kids?” Tommy had noticed in the past that she didn’t wear a wedding ring, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have kids or a relationship.

         “No, it’s just my dog and me.” She moved down the bar to start his coffee order. “Do you like dogs, Charlie?”

         “You like dogs, don’t you?” Tommy prompted his son to talk.

         “Ponies,” Charlie whispered shyly.

         “Yeah, that’s right, you like horses best. Just like dad.” He chuckled. “Sorry, he’s usually not this quiet.”

         “Oh, that’s okay.” Ava shrugged it off. “I was a pretty quiet kid too.”

         Tommy set Charlie down as they came to the end of the bar where they would pick up the coffee. The little boy came to the edge of the counter and stood on his tip-toes to see what Ava was doing. When she smiled at him, his face went red and he ducked.  

         “Here’s your muffin, Charlie.” Ava set the bag on the counter near his little fingers.

         “Thank you.” He said so softly it was lost in the ambience of the café. 

         “And here’s your coffee, Tommy.” 

         “Thank you.” He took it and made sure his son had a tight enough grip on the pastry bag. “See you tomorrow, Ava.” He tousled Charlie’s hair and led him back towards the door. 

         The next day, Tommy arrived at the cafe and Ava greeted him as usual. They exchanged pleasantries, Ava asking how Charlie liked going to work with his dad. Tommy explained that the young boy had spent the day drawing and pretending to make phone calls. 

         Before she handed him his regular order, she gave him a pastry bag. Confused, Tommy took it. “I didn’t order this.” 

        “No, I know.” Ava smiled and tucked a piece of hair back behind her ear. “I thought you might want to give it to Charlie. I mean it’ll be cold by the time you get home but if you stick it in the toaster it’ll be nice.” 

         “I didn’t pay for it though.” Tommy knew the amount he paid every morning by heart. She hadn’t added the muffin onto the bill. 

         “That’s okay.” She waved him off and went back to making his coffee. “It’s for Charlie.” 

         He smiled and nodded. “Well, he’ll appreciate it.” 

         The morning after, Tommy arrived again, a bit earlier so he could sit and enjoy his coffee in peace. 

         Ava was cleaning around the cafe so she didn’t take his order. But she did come to say hello once he sat down. 

         “‘Morning, Tommy.” 

         “Nice to see you.” He sat down and popped the lid off his coffee to let it cool down. “I should tell you, Charlie enjoyed the muffin. But I got a bit hungry on the way home so I ate half of it. He wasn’t happy when I arrived with just a half.” 

         Ava laughed. “Oh, poor boy. I’m sure he’ll forgive you.” 

         “Hopefully soon.” Tommy felt the stress of his morning start to slip away. He always got into a different state of mind when he was with Ava. It was almost like being with Grace again. She had the ability of taking him out of his reality and just letting him unwind even for the briefest of moments. He wasn’t sure he’d ever find someone else who could do that. “In the meantime, he drew you a picture as a thanks.” He reached into his briefcase to retrieve the piece of construction paper that Charlie had insisted he bring to Ava that very day. 

         She put down her cleaning cloth. “Really?” She took the paper with a delighted look. “Oh, that’s so sweet.” 

         “I can assure you, that’s the first of many heading your way. Kid loves to draw and once he gets to know you, he’ll draw for you. So I hope you’ve got room on your ‘fridge.”

         Ava laughed softly and examined the crayon work. “So that’s…” She turned it so he could see. 

       “Oh, yeah he’s a bit of an abstract artist. Erm...he explained it to me. I think that’s supposed to be you, the blobby purple bit. I wouldn’t take his depiction personally.” 

       She was beaming. “Oh, no, I adore it. I look forward to more.” She gently folded the paper and tucked it into the pocket of her apron. 

       Tommy realized he was staring a bit. But he couldn’t help himself. Ava was beautiful but she could light up a room with her smile. It was indulgent to watch her eyes twinkle with such genuine emotion. 

       Then she met his eyes and her cheeks went red. Tommy cleared his throat and averted his eyes just to be polite. “Tell him, thank you.” 

         “Of course.” He nodded. “Um...could I see you again?” 

         She tilted her head to the side a bit. “You see me every day.” She reminded him with a coy smile. 

         He chuckled. “No, could I see you outside of work?” 

         Her lips parted a bit in surprise. “I-uh-yeah...yes.” She nodded eagerly before she reminded herself to play it cool. “I’d like that.” 

         “Yeah?” He smiled. “So, coffee maybe...nope I’m sorry.” He winced and shook his head. “You’re around coffee all fucking day you don’t want to go out to coffee.” 

          “Lunch maybe.” She stifled a giggle. Never before had she seen the businessman so flustered. He seemed like the kind of guy who always remained calm and collected. 

         “Yeah, lunch.” He agreed. “Lunch would be good.” 

         “Lunch would be great.”

Permanent Tag: @papa-geralt-of-cirilla​ @giftofdreams​ @biba3434​ @kimmietea​ @karmezii​ @enrapturedbythemoon​

Masterlist 

[oyesmendes]

punches and ice baths

a/n: here’s my first 5sos fic!! i’m definitely moving on from just writing shawn fics now, i’ll still write them when i have inspiration but i’m expanding my fic characters okay!! this one’s for ashton irwin and i hope you like it ❤️

warnings: self-harm, mentions of alcohol abuse, self-abuse, boxing as a coping mechanism 

It was still pitch dark in the bus, soft snores echoing through the space and the only source of light coming from the flashlight from her phone. They arrived at the arena a couple of hours ago, the bus coming to a gentle stop in the parking lot that woke her up. She shuffled around in the dark, slipping on a hoodie before sliding out of her bunk and tiptoe-ing to reach the one across from her. She turned the flashlight off to avoid pointing it in the wrong direction and risk waking anyone up before drawing open the curtain of Ashton’s bunk. He shifted in his sleep when he heard the movement, but his eyes remained closed knowing that it was just her peeking through. She smiled softly at her sleeping boyfriend, his curled up posture so he could fit in the tiny bunk, along with a pillow that was covered in her scent between his arms. She pressed a kiss to his forehead, pushing stray curls behind his ears before shutting the curtains again.

“You ready?” Sierra whispered once she turned around. She nodded tiredly, eyes still droopy from the lack of sleep. They exited the bus as quietly as they could, the wave of cool fresh air hitting their faces. She followed Sierra who held the punching mitts and two sets of hand wraps into the arena. It was a totally different scene inside - everyone was buzzing, busy setting up the arena for the boy’s performance tonight. They greeted everyone they passed with a cheery smile, before making their way to the open floor of the arena. Sierra set the stuff on the stage, hauling her small frame up after.

“Paul was saying we could use the stage if we wanted, they managed to set up real quick today so we could use it for more grip for our feet” She nodded in agreement, pulling herself up the stage as well. They fell into their routine pretty quickly, the portable speaker blasting music to hype them up through the warm up.

Thirty minutes into the workout, both Sierra and Y/N were covered in sweat, taking turns to do a set of drills. Y/N hardly mentioned it, but she was always thankful she had Sierra on the trip who would help her workout and train her punches while they were on the road. Sure the rest of the boys did their fair share of workouts in the dressing room, but none of them were ever up for a good spar or drill workout with Y/N (with the exception of Luke, if only he could wake up in the wee hours of the morning). Ashton had always volunteered to join her in the beginning, but he soon realised that doing a full show and waking up before the sun rose to workout was not what his body could take. So Y/N trained on her own for the first month before Sierra came to join them on the tour. She was the perfect workout partner, always pushing them to do more and gain strength that Y/N never knew she had. They spurred each other on, trying new moves and if the space permitted, they indulged in a sparring session on the ground of the arena.

Ashton and the boys could never understand why Y/N would drag herself up to throw punches early in the morning when they first got to know her. They felt that it was dreadful and sad to workout when the world was quiet, but that was her safety. The punches she threw in the quiet of the morning were a replacement for her self harm and abuse, a true testament to the strength that she held within her, both emotionally and physically. The sport made her happy, endorphins coursing through her veins along with the ache in her muscles. It took awhile for Ashton to fully see it. But when he finally did, he always made the effort to be there to capture the moment, even if it was 6AM in the morning. Today was the same, he stood behind the curtains and watched quietly as his girl worked. The sight definitely made his mouth water - she had long lost the hoodie on top of her, only a sweat clad sports bra and a pair of shorts hanging just below her belly button adorning her body. She definitely wasn’t perfect, but she was all he wanted in his eyes.

“Come on, focus! I can’t feel your punches!” Sierra shouted as she raised her mitts again. Y/N punched harder than she ever did in awhile but as she drew her hands back, she lost focus and Sierra’s mitt jabbed her straight in the chin. She winced slightly at the contact, shaking it out and guarding her face again before she heard Ashton shouting her name.

“Y/N! Are you okay?” He rushed to her side but she raised her wrapped hand up, a smile on her face. He nodded and backed away, knowing she needed to focus and be in her element.

“I’m okay, let’s go”

It was another thirty minutes before they were done, stretching and pulling at their bodies to loosen their muscles. Ashton sat and watched the whole time, no doubt a big distraction whenever Y/N did her punches and hooks. He helped to fetch a couple of cold water bottles and towels for the pair, playfully asking for kisses once he delivered them to her.

“You’re the only person who has the most amazing after workout hair y’know?” Sierra commented when Y/N pulled her hair out of the pony tail.

“Okay but you have the most amazing hair all the time so I think all is fair”

“Touché, I’m gonna go shower. See you love birds later!” Sierra grinned at Ashton before she bounded off to the dressing room showers. Ashton approached her with a playful grin on his face, “Aren’t you a sight for sore eyes?” He grabbed her waist to pull her closer to him.

“With a not so pleasant scent though” She wiped the sweat off her body, pressing a kiss on Ashton’s lips. A member of the crew came jogging to the couple, informing Y/N that her ice bath was ready.

“C’mon rockstar, wanna watch me take an ice bath?”

They entered a small backroom with a big black tub filled to the brim with iced water, the sight of it made anyone shudder. Ashton followed closely behind her, leaning against the door frame while she stripped off her shorts to reveal a pair of compression shorts underneath. She entered the tub quickly, lowering her entire body into the ice before dipping her head down for a couple of seconds. Ashton started the two minute timer, watching her as she closed her eyes and breathed out the shiver in her bones. It helped her clear her head, start the week right and was also a huge benefit for her sore muscles.

Y/N was the one that had introduced Ashton to ice baths when he started working on treatment for his alcohol abuse. He was skeptical at first, but when she explained the benefits to him and practically dragged him into the shower to experience it, he finally caved. It started out as ice cold showers, to the extent where Y/N turned off the heaters so Ashton couldn’t cheat. Then they moved to a new apartment with a tub, and Y/N would fill it with ice for Ashton to dip himself into it.

-

“But it’s cold!” He whined when his foot dipped into the tub.

“That’s the point!”

“My dick is gonna freeze in this and we can never have sex again!” She laughed, shaking her head at the boy. He was now standing at least three feet away from the tub, brows furrowed and arms crossed in front of him. She pulled him towards her, pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Oh come on, don’t be a pussy. I’ll go in with you, okay?”

“You don’t get to call me a pussy! But fine, okay I’ll go with you.” He pouted, pulling his shirt and shorts off to only leave him in a pair of biker tights. She held his hand as he dipped his entire body into the water, head bopping just above the surface. She slid in between his legs, dipping in quickly. It somehow felt refreshing, and awakening for his body. He was suddenly so aware of every muscle, how his hands were resting on her thighs and how his body shivered ever so slightly. Then he dipped his head in and out of the ice, and he was sold.

-

“Alright, time’s up!” Ashton announced. He handed Y/N a towel and helped her out of the tub. Her tights had ridden up a little, revealing the white lines across her thighs. He had seen them so many times before, but whenever they made their appearance he would always notice them and stare a little longer. He remembered the loud gasp he let out when he first saw them, the fear on evident on her face when she realised what she had unintentionally revealed. She was changing into another pair of shorts while he was in the room and she totally forgot about them. He remembered her story, how she would call them her battle scars. She told him how she never went too deep, but sometimes her demons would be too loud and her hand would slip. Then she told him how she was two years clean, how she used boxing and exercise as her release. He remembered kissing each scar, and hugging her so tight.

“Hey, where are you gorgeous?” She tapped on his nose which made his face scrunch up. He smiled at her soft grin, then pressing a kiss to her lips.  

“Just thinking about how lucky I am to have you.”