#okay but she really just got FLUNGED
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Red. That was all Simon could see as he barreled through the barracks, ignoring the concerned onlookers as he slammed open door after door.
He was just washing up for the day, ready to head to his quarters when he’d heard whispers of you being admitted to medical. The words “banged up pretty good” were all he needed to hear before setting off in a panic to find you.
You were everything to him. Simon Riley was a man who swore he’d die alone and be happy doing so, until you came along. You, with your terrible jokes, your witty personality, your loyalty and determination and gods damn your fucking smile. He’d do anything to see you smile.
Love wasn’t something that came easy to Simon, but with you it did. Loving you was as easy as breathing, it was natural. He loved you from the moment he saw you, and would love you until the day he died.
The door to the infirmary flung open, and Simon strode in with purpose, his eyes scanning the entire room. When they landed on you, Simon felt his heart drop, his blood running cold.
“Who did this?” Was all he said, his cold gaze softening ever so slightly as he took in every cut and bruise that littered your beautiful skin. It took everything in him not to yell, to scream.
Your eyes dropped from his, your lips forming a thin line as the nurse beside you finished stitching the large cut that now adorned your shoulder.
“Y/N.” His voice was stern, causing you and the nurse to jump slightly.
With a small smile aimed at you, the nurse gave a polite nod to Simon as she ran past, leaving the two of you alone in the now eerily silent room.
“Tell me.” Simon demanded, sinking to his knees in front of you. When you still refused to meet his gaze, he gently rested his index finger on your chin and tilted your head to look at him. His eyes were soft, gentle as he gazed into your own. “Tell me.”
The tenderness in which Simon looked at you had your lower lip wobbling, a soft sob slowly escaping your mouth as you replayed what had happened in your head. “Simon, it’s okay.”
“It’s not. You need to tell me what happened.” His finger gently began to graze your cheek, a tenderness that you’d grown used to over the years with him. A tenderness reserved only for you.
“The mission went south. There was a mole. We got ambushed.” Was all you said, as you struggled to regain your composure.
“Who.”
“Simon, please it’s really okay, I-.”
“Who.”
Your brows furrowed slightly as Simon ripped off his mask, his face now fully visible to you. Concern etched its way across his features as he held your gaze. You knew this was a battle you wouldn’t win.
“Coles. It was Coles.”
“He dead?” Simon asked, his face not showing any of his internal turmoil. If he wasn’t, Simon would make damn well sure he’d suffer for what had happened to you.
You shook your head as your bottom lip trembled once more. “No, but Simon-.”
Simon cut you off with a gentle kiss to your temple, his lips lingering against your skin as he murmured, “Sleep in my quarters tonight, yeah? I’ll be back soon.”
Without waiting for your reply, he strode out of the infirmary, the red in his vision intensifying as he set out to find the mole. Nobody, nobody would harm a hair on his lovers head and get away with it.
Simon would do anything for you, die for you, kill for you. He’d do anything to make sure that beautiful smile of yours was permanently etched onto your lips.
For you, Simon Riley would watch the world burn.
#simon ghost riley x reader#simon riley x reader#simon riley imagine#cod imagine#mw2 imagine#ghost x reader#ghost mw2
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Omg so like I want to hear your thoughts on perv!Megumi like finally after so long of Gojo teasing him for being in college for two years at this point and being single, he’s finally procured a pretty girlfriend who’s unfortunately (for her) so naive and sweet??🩷💕 Idk I got shy but I know you’ll do something good with this lol
ik i told u id post this after my wips but i started on it n i couldnt stop i liked the idea too much LOL im sorry for being so confusing D; tysm for the ask though!!! :o i rlly enjoyed writing this!!! (n don’t be shy ahjwhs you’re so lovely T_T♡)
perv!megumi !!! please i feel like he’s the type to be a pervert that’s kinda embarrassed n self aware about himself—especially bc gojo kept teasing him all those years n he was kinda just jacking off to whatever x-rated video that came up first (i feel like perv!megumi is highkey into hentai too but he’s taking that to the grave!!)
n when gets a pretty little girlfriend who acts so cute and who he loves so much, when he gets hard he can’t help but let some of that side of him slip out from time to time...
i think he’s also the type to take lots of pictures,, like pictures while you sleep, peeking through your door while you shower, in clothing store changing rooms while you change, upskirt pictures… he’ll make you his little model!! some of them you know about but some of them you don’t, he’s so lewd.
it’s not just pics of you he takes, it's some of himself too. i feel like one of the things he’d love to do to you is when you tell him to come with you to some random uni event, n he’ll randomly disappear in the middle of it, only to go to the bathroom to take pictures of his hard leaky cock to send you with some casual caption like he didn’t just do that ?!?! he’s crazy (more under the cut)
it’s not megumi’s fault he’s so in his head about you, he still just doesn’t really know how he managed to get someone as pretty and doting as you are as his.
he sometimes feels guilty for being so obsessed with you—your body clad in pretty little outfits that you show off to him with a twirl, the way you’ll always show him your shiny new sparkly nails when you get them done, how he’s always the first one you’ll pick to talk to about something new you’ve found to love—it’s all that seems to be on his mind recently.
maybe it was gojo’s accidental doing, those feelings of guilt. unintentionally planting a little growing seed of shame in him the first few times he started teasing him for not having a partner yet at his ‘big age’, borderline lecturing him with the ‘when i was your age’ stuff—maybe that was the logical reason why he felt so attached to you, the reason he couldn’t help getting fully erect even when he only saw as much as a pair of your flung-away panties lying at the edge of your bed when coming to your room one day.
but when he recalls back to those nights where you’re innocently cuddled against him, watching whatever movie, a quiet ‘megumi?’ leaving your lips as a sign to tell him you’re falling asleep, and he finds himself shifting in his seat, carefully adjusting your head to let you rest comfortably on him, pressing a soft kiss to your hair as he strokes it and tells you a ‘sleep now, angel’, he knows that’s not the reason.
nevertheless, he’s always been worried about it, thoughts of ‘am i doing too much?’ or a ‘would she not like this?’ clouding his mind. but for every single thought like this he has, he’ll always have two more memories where he’s coming up to you, his sweet-faced little girlfriend, waiting for him with open arms and open heart. and to him, it means more than the world.
and as his cheerful sweetheart girlfriend, you’ve never really minded of course.
you know he’s at least a little perverted, asking to take those pictures of you trying on your new swimsuits, or bras, or skirts, or those times when he pulls out after spilling his load into you, and the first thing he does after making sure you’re okay is to go face-to-face with the trail of cum seeping out of you to snap a few photos.
honestly, you’ve gotten used to it at this point. you just take these moments, seeing what you do to him, as a way of reassuring yourself that he really does just love you that much. and he really does. really!! :(
no matter how innocent or dirty the context, he’ll let you know whenever he gets that warm little feeling in his chest.
“i-i love you,” he pants, head coming up from sucking marks on your neck, languid thrusts coming to a gentle stop as he peers up at you with flushed cheeks. it feels like he’s admitting it for the first time again.
when you stare at him with his same love-drunk look, brows furrowed and eyes pleading, whispering out an “i love you too, gumi”, he’ll pause a moment to study your expression before gently raising you further up the bed, hooking his hand under your leg and repositioning it around his waist.
he’ll drop down to press a kiss to your cheek before resting his chin on your shoulder and picking up the pace again, now only determined to make you cum.
when he thinks of times like these, despite what you’re doing together, it’s innocent in his head.
a time where that’s not so much the case though is when you persuade him to come with you to some uni exhibition event, looking up at him with hopeful, doe-like eyes and as many ‘pleeeaaase, gumi’s and ‘please, guuuum’s as you could muster—cause it’s not like he could say no to that, right?
at first he put up an act of feign stubbornness. but eventually he agreed—only when he knew you’d excitedly hug him and press your soft chest to his as a thank you for it though.
he’d tour the hall with you, watching you gaze in awe at everything with your cute, simple curiosity, occasionally pointing out little things in the pieces he liked. before the artist began their talk though, he got up from his seat, pressing a quick kiss to your cheek before muttering a “‘m g’na go to the bathroom.”
in an empty stall, he’ll sit atop the lid and pull down his jeans, freeing his stiffening cock from his underwear. he quietly groans as he pumps himself a few times, a slow trickle of translucent white leaking down from his tip.
he silently curses, throwing his head back, thinking about how you let him flip up your pretty skirt before you left, letting him take a peek at your cute ass in the frilly panties he bought for you.
he reaches for his phone, fumbling to send a picture of the sight to you, adding a casual caption of something like ‘hi pretty girl’ or ‘u look so pretty today, angel’.
he pauses, realising that maybe you won’t see it for a little while. he’s imagining you so obediently listening to the artist speaker to notice the ping of his notification—he enjoys that thought too, but he can’t say why.
he’s careful not to thrust up into his fist, not wanting to make too much noise, but it’s futile—he’s too hard staring at the lewd shots of you saved in his secret hidden album—the way you act so innocently, the way you have no clue what the true extent is of what you do to him. he can’t help but let a few breathy whines slip.
he won’t let himself cum though, thinking he’s too good to be letting himself release over some scrunched up, bathroom tissue when he’s got his own pretty little girlfriend waiting for him a few halls down.
he sighs. cleaning up and tucking himself back into the band of his briefs, leaving the stall and washing his hands, walking back out like nothing happened.
#ywuji#this is so long n so rambly HAHEHW#i rlly had fun writing this tho#i wld love to write more :00#the last part is For Sure tacked onto the end but i wanted to include it bc i talked abt it alr Lol#apologies U_U#megumi smut#megumi fushiguro smut#fushiguro smut#megumi x reader#fushiguro x reader#megumi headcanons#fushiguro headcanons#jjk smut#jjk thirsts#jjk x reader#anime smut#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader
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fall into temptation | three
Jackson! Joel Miller x Preacher’s Daughter Reader
series masterlist
summary: Of all the women to catch Joel Miller’s attention—it just had to be one of the goddamned preacher’s daughters.
warnings/tags: 18+ ONLY, MINORS DNI. SLIGHT PHYSICAL DESCRIPTION OF READER, mentions of her hair which she can put up into braids as well as her style of clothing. despite the nickname Joel gives her, it does not speak to her body type or size. AGE GAP (reader is in her 20’s and Joel is 56). several mentions of religion and religious symbols, reader has a father and two sisters, all who come with names, reader gets put into a a very uncomfortable situation, insecurity, anxiety, Seth is an asshole, protective Joel, he threatens to break someone’s jaw which is a warning in and of itself. SMUT. loss of virginity, reader is inexperienced but not totally clueless, oral (both m and f receiving), risky unprotected p in v sex (please wrap it up), lots of praise and pet names (baby, babygirl, honey, you know, the works), Joel gets a teensy bit rough, creampie, hint of aftercare, ends with a cliffhanger, but also not really if you think about it?
MOODBOARD FOR AESTHETIC PURPOSES ONLY, NO MENTION OF RACE OR BODY TYPE.
word count: 10k
a/n: it was not my intention to post this on jesus day, but here we are. this took forever and a day considering the second part was posted back in september, but i am so so proud of myself for finally completing a wip i could cry. i did a bulk of the editing while i’ve been sick and in all honesty i probably should have asked someone to beta for me because i think i coughed out like 90% of my brain cells this week, but i think it turned out okay. ish.
Somehow, even over the volume of the live music, you could still hear their hushed, astonished whispers.
“Are you seeing what I’m seeing?”
“Is that Joel Miller with Pastor John’s daughter?”
“What’s she doing holding his hand?”
“He’s got to be at least twice her fucking age—”
Throat bobbing anxiously, you glanced up at Joel.
His shoulders were squared back, his head held high.
Solid. Steady.
Joel couldn’t seem to care less about the bewildered stares, the judgment that was being flung his way. Not once did he seem to waver. But you?
Oh, you were already starting to crumble underneath it all, on the verge of falling apart right before everyone’s prying eyes. Shame sat heavily inside of your chest, the weight of the feeling suffocating you, making it harder and harder to breathe as it prevented air from reaching your lungs.
It had nothing to do with Joel. Of course it didn’t. It had all to do with you and with who you were. Their beloved preacher’s sweet, innocent young daughter.
His youngest daughter.
Suddenly, the whispers were no longer whispers.
“Oh God, she’s not going home with him, is she?”
“That’s not right! Someone should say something!”
“Pastor John would never allow something like this.”
“Poor thing’s naive—she doesn’t know any better.”
Hot, stubborn tears of frustration glazed over your eyes and threatened to spill. It was as if you were a child who didn’t know any better, a gullible, clueless little girl with nothing in her brain who needed to be rescued—saved from the bad, bad man before he did bad, bad things to her.
Had it been anyone else, no one would have batted an eye. No one would have noticed, let alone cared. But it was you that Joel Miller was leaving the bar with in the middle of the night and it was you whose hand he had clasped in his own. That is what made it wrong. That is why it was a problem.
Everyone’s concerns had nothing to do with him at all, they had everything to do with you. You, you, you. You were the sole reason why it was a problem, the reason why he was being perceived as the Devil himself, horns out as he dragged the poor little unsuspecting angel down to the fires of Hell.
“Joel?” Overwhelmed, you instinctively reached for his arm with your free hand. Cold and trembling, your little fingers curled tightly around his bicep, digging into the firm, bulging muscle through the thick corduroy fabric of his sleeve. You whispered his name again. “Joel—”
“S’alright, babygirl,” he reassured you quietly over his shoulder. He gave your hand a comforting squeeze. “S’alright. Just keep your eyes on me, sweetheart. I’ve got you. You just keep on lookin’ right at me, okay?”
Nodding, you inhaled deeply and focused on him. Only him. The broadness of his back and his shoulders. Tufts of hair that curled over the collar of his shirt. Only him. He’s what mattered. He’s all that mattered.
“Almost there,” Joel murmured, squeezing your hand again as the door came into view. “Breathe, baby. We’re almost there. I’ve got you. You’re alright. Ain’t gonna let anythin’ bad happen to you. Promise I’ve got you.”
It wasn’t until his fingers wrapped around the old, brass handle that you finally exhaled the breath you had been holding out in utter relief, though it was very, very short lived. Just as Joel pulled the door open, you felt a hand wrap around your arm. Dry, slender fingers dug into the soft flesh above your elbow as an attempt, and a feeble one at that, was made to tear you out of Joel’s grasp.
The music stopped and the bar fell silent. Everything and everyone came to a sudden standstill, freezing mid dance, mid drink, mid bite, mid gossip.
Shocked, you glanced over your shoulder. “Seth?” you squeaked his name. “What—what are you doing?”
Seth didn’t acknowledge you. His focus was on Joel.
“What the hell do you think you’re doing, Miller?”
Joel’s anger couldn’t be seen, but it could be felt. So palpable you could have wrapped your fingers around it. It radiated off of him and loomed over the entire bar like an incoming storm cloud. Threatening. Dangerous.
“Where are you taking her?” Seth demanded, his other hand curling around your wrist as he tried, but failed, to snatch you from Joel’s side once more. “Let the girl go! You let her go right now, you hear?”
Caught in between the two men, you nervously turned to look at Joel. Nostrils flared, jaw clenched, seething eyes that did the talking for him. His message was loud and oh so abundantly clear.
If Seth didn't take his hands off you, he wasn’t going to have any hands.
Not after Joel Miller was through with him.
Blazing heat flooded your face. As if it couldn’t possibly get any worse, everyone had now gathered around you to watch the tense encounter, eyes wide, brows raised and jaws practically on the weathered, hardwood floor.
Tommy Miller stood among the crowd, subtly shaking his head, his lips pressed together in a tight, thin line of disapproval as he glowered at his older brother. Would he be looking at Joel like that had it been Esther in your place? If she was the one he was taking home? Would any of this be happening if it was her instead of you?
“Seth.” Uttering his name, you shifted your attention back to him. You sounded calm and collected, despite feeling anything but. Joel’s hand in yours was the only thing keeping you steady and grounded. His touch was the only reason you hadn’t yet spiraled into a state of panic. Clearing your throat lightly, you spoke again and tried your hardest not to waver. “Please let go of me.”
Still fixed on Joel, he spat, “I’ll be damned if I let him take you anywhere.”
“He’s not taking me anywhere, Seth.” Without thinking, the words came tumbling out of your mouth—loud and clear for everyone in that room to hear. “He isn’t forcing me to go with him. I’m making the choice to leave with him. Out of my own volition. Please let go of me.”
Finally, Seth looked at you. His old, worn features were twisted in disbelief. “What?”
You swallowed dryly. Part of you wanted you to shrink away, curl into yourself. Instead, you straightened your posture, forced yourself to stand a little bit taller. Willed yourself to have a backbone for once in your life.
“You heard me,” you said, lifting your chin in defiance. Several onlookers gasped in surprise at your rebellion. Where had this insolence come from? “I’m choosing to leave with Joel. Now, please let go of my arm.”
Behind you, Joel stood silent and still.
Watching. Observing. Waiting.
He wanted nothing more than to intervene. Rip you out of Seth’s hands and shatter each and every last bone in all ten of his fingers for putting them on you. Had Joel not realized that this was probably the first time in your whole, entire life you’d mustered up the courage to use your voice, he would have easily given into the urge. He wanted to protect you. He needed so badly to protect you. Yet, he knew you weren’t helpless or incapable of standing on your own two feet. He knew you deserved the chance to stand up and speak for yourself after a lifetime of being silenced, a lifetime of being forced to stay in your place, seen but never heard.
“Seth, let go of my arm,” you repeated. It was no longer a polite request. It was a demand.
He scoffed. “Do you honestly think I’m going to let you leave with somebody like him? You think I’m just going to stand back and let him take advantage of you?”
Oh, you hadn’t liked that insinuation, not one bit.
It caused something inside of you to finally give way.
Snap.
The blood in your veins boiled, ran hot enough to make you feel like you were about to burn from the inside out. “Joel isn’t taking advantage of me! It isn’t like that,” you seethed, furiously. The quiet, well mannered, obedient good girl everyone in Jackson knew was gone. And she could stay gone. In your periphery, you could see Leah elbowing her way through the sea of people to the front of the crowd with an incredulous look plastered on her face. She stood there beside Tommy, who appeared to be just as incredibly bewildered by your outburst. “Don’t treat me like I’m some child who doesn’t know any better! I’m an adult and I’m old enough to make my own choices, okay?”
For a moment, you had forgotten it was Seth standing there in front of you.
“I’m capable of making my own decisions! I don’t need you to dictate my life. I don’t need you to tell me what is and isn’t good for me—controlling what I should and shouldn’t believe in.” Your voice trembled as emotions you’d been suppressing for years bubbled their way up to the surface. Amidst the chaos, you could feel Joel squeeze your hand again, as if silently encouraging you not to lose your nerve. He was your anchor, the only person who could keep your world from capsizing. You knew he wouldn’t let you drown. Not even God, who you had always been forced to believe was your pillar of strength, had ever made you feel this protected. Safe. “I don’t need you to tell me how to live and much less when it’s the end of the world.”
It wasn’t Seth you were addressing.
It was your father.
Your father, who controlled every last thing, from what you would eat to the way that you dressed and how you wore your hair.
Your father, who refused to let you have a mind of your own, who simply could not bear the mere thought of you thinking for yourself.
Your father, whose love felt like shackles, heavy, rusted metal restraints that had been digging into the flesh of your wrists for far, far too long.
“You need to let me go now,” you said, swallowing back the lump in your throat. Once more, you caught Leah from the corner of your eye, your heart lurching in your chest when you noticed her desperately trying to wipe at her eyes with the back of her hand. She was the only person in the room who understood how you felt. Her rebelliousness only ever masked the pain of knowing her father’s love came with terms and conditions—and the fear of knowing what would happen if those terms and conditions weren’t met. For several weeks, you’d gotten a taste of what she went through everyday, how her fear of putting her foot down led her to run around in secret and live a double life. “Just let me go.”
Seth firmly shook his head. “No! I’m not letting you go anywhere with him. I don’t know what the hell he did to you, but he’s clearly got you all fucking brainwashed.”
That was fucking enough. Joel stepped in, lowering his voice as he said, “Y’know, I’ve just ‘bout lost count of how many fuckin’ times she’s asked you to let her go now and it’s really startin’ to piss me off.” Raising an eyebrow, he laid his offer out on the table. “Here’s the deal. You let go of her right now and I won’t shatter your fuckin’ jaw into pieces. That seem fair enough to you?”
“No.” Seth gripped your arm even harder, prompting you to let out a little yelp as his nails dug painfully into your skin. Though it’d been accidental and he hadn’t meant to hurt you, it didn’t matter. He’d just set off the ticking time bomb that was Joel Miller.
Furious, Joel snatched a fistful of his shirt with his free hand—the other still held yours. Gentle, despite being mere moments away from beating someone to within an inch of their life.
“Joel! Stop!” Tommy’s voice broke through the tension as he approached. His footsteps were slow—careful and cautious, as if he was afraid to make any kind of sudden movement. “Joel. Hey. C’mon now, let’s not do this, alright? Ain’t gotta handle things this way. We can talk it through. No need for anyone to wind up bleedin’ in the fuckin’ infirmary tonight, so just take a breath and let him go.”
Blatantly ignoring Tommy’s attempt to keep the peace, Joel tugged Seth forward, yanking him closer. “Listen to me and listen to me good ‘cause I ain’t gonna fuckin’ say it again. You’d best take your fuckin’ hands off her right now unless you wanna spend the rest of the night sweepin’ up your teeth off the floor of your own fuckin’ bar,” he threatened, his tone enough to send a chill up anyone’s spine, even your own.
“You wouldn’t dare, Miller.” Somehow, Seth managed to keep a straight face, but you could see it so clearly in his eyes and in the tremble of his lower lip—oh, he was terrified of Joel and rightly so. “Not in front of all these people. Not in front of your brother. That wouldn’t be a smart move considering you’re already on thin fucking ice for what you did to that boy’s face, now would it?”
Joel tugged him closer. “Test me,” he hissed through gritted teeth. “Go on. Fuckin’ test me.”
His challenge was immediately met with a pathetic look of defeat. Seth dropped your arm and he was released.
“S’what I fuckin’ thought.” Without another word to the man, Joel whirled around and roughly pulled the door open, leading the way outside. As you both descended the building’s old, creaking wooden steps, you began to shiver and he suddenly remembered he’d left his jacket behind inside the bar. He wrapped an arm around your shoulders. “C’mere, my little dove,” he murmured as he tucked you against his side for warmth. “I’ve got you.”
The first thing he did was light the fireplace.
“Should start warmin’ you up, sweet girl,” he’d said to you over his shoulder. He tossed a log into the blaze as you sat perched on his couch rubbing your bare arms with your hands. “M’gonna go upstairs and find you a blanket, alright? You stay put.”
“Okay,” you’d mumbled, knowing there was no point in telling him not to fuss over you.
Even with the soft, fleece throw blanket he had draped around your shoulders and the warmth of the flames in front of you, you continued trembling. Subtle, but he’d noticed it, felt it when he had sat down beside you and pulled you close against his side. “Oh baby, you’re still shakin’?” That was when he realized you weren’t cold. Frowning, Joel rose to his feet and disappeared down the hallway. He came back to the living room a minute later with a glass of water in his hand. With a small, labored grunt, he dropped to one knee in front of you and held it out. “Here.”
“No, thank you.” You shook your head. “I’m not thirsty.”
“Maybe not, but I’m kinda worried you could be in a bit of shock right now,” he stated, the creases in between his brows deepening as he observed you for any other physical signs of distress. Carefully, Joel lifted the glass to your lips, gently coaxing you to take a drink. “C’mon, darlin’. Think you can be a real good girl for me and at least take a couple sips? Hm?”
Sighing softly, you nodded and did as he asked of you, taking a small sip of water. It soothed your dry mouth and throat and you took another one. Maybe you were thirsty after all.
“Little more, now. Little more. That’s it. That’s my good girl.” Once he was satisfied with how much you’d had to drink, Joel set the half empty glass down on the oak coffee table behind him. He turned back to you, placing his large hands on either side of your thighs below the hem of your dress. He started tracing soft, soothing circles into your skin with his thumbs. “M’real proud of you for standin’ up for yourself back there, sweetheart. Took a whole lot of fuckin’ courage to do that, y’know.”
You glanced down at your hands in your lap. “Mhm.”
“Baby. Hey. Look at me.” One of his hands abandoned your leg and he reached up, delicately taking your chin between his thumb and index finger. He tilted your face upwards, his worried gaze meeting your own. “Talk to me. M’right here.”
“That—that was a lot,” you admitted meekly, shoulders sagging as the adrenaline started wearing off and your body slowly came down from the peak hormone rush. “It was a lot.”
Sighing, Joel’s hand fell away from your face. “Yeah, I know it was a lot, babygirl. I know. I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”
“No.” You were quick to cut him off. “Don’t be sorry.”
His chest heaved with another sigh, this one deeper, heavier, bearing the weight of his guilt. “Well I am,” he said. He planted his hands on either side of you on the couch and lightly shook his head. “Didn’t even fuckin’ think twice when I pulled you outta that fuckin’ supply closet and took your hand in front of all those people. I was so fuckin’ hellbent on showin’ everybody you were mine that I didn’t even stop and think ‘bout what all it would mean for you. It was selfish of me. Real fuckin’ selfish. And I’m sorry, little dove.”
“Do you regret it?” you asked, quietly.
Joel chuckled in spite of himself. “M’pretty sure I’m the one who should be askin’ you that question, darlin’,” he remarked. “Tell me. Do you regret it? Do you regret me pullin’ you outta that closet?” He momentarily paused. There was a stutter in his heartbeat when you dropped your gaze away from his, silence your only reply. “Do you regret me takin’ your hand in front of everyone?”
Of course not.
You wanted to be his and you wanted everyone to know it. There was no regret, none.
Still.
The consequences that you would undoubtedly have to face in the morning were overwhelming. Daunting.
Surely, by then, your father would know about you and Joel. When he came downstairs right after sunrise and he discovered you weren’t in the kitchen helping Lydia prepare breakfast, he would question where you were and make some kind of remark about how you should not be sleeping in this late. He would tell her just how irresponsible it was for you to ignore your duties and obligations to him and the family. Sloth was one of the seven deadly sins, after all. He would make her trek upstairs and wake you, and when she did, your sister would find your bed empty.
Meanwhile, there would be a knock at the front door.
No stranger to having members of the congregation show up on his doorstep when they were in need, be it of prayer or comfort, your father would answer it only to find someone, not in need of solace, but who felt that it was their responsibility and moral obligation to inform him that they had seen his youngest daughter leaving The Tipsy Bison with Joel Miller in the middle of the night, hand in hand.
He wouldn’t believe them.
“Now, that is simply not true,” he would say, offended that anybody would have the nerve to show up at his door and accuse you of something so vile. “That’s not possible. I know my daughter and she would never do such a thing. It must have been someone else that you saw with him. Someone who looked like her, perhaps.”
Then, Lydia would descend the staircase and tell him you weren’t in your bedroom. “She must have gone up to the main street as soon as she woke up,” she would suggest with a shrug, not yet privy to the events that had taken place the night before at the party you and Leah had snuck off to. She never had to worry about you, the good one. “I did notice we were running pretty low on eggs. Sugar, too. She probably wanted to be the first in line at the pantry to—Papa? What’s the matter?”
The color would drain from your father’s face when the realization slowly sank in. No, you weren’t out on the main street picking up eggs for breakfast and sugar for his tea. You were lying up in Joel Miller’s bed—defiled, impure, and with the curse of Eve on your flesh. Even after dedicating his entire life to making sure you did not stray from the path of righteousness, he had failed. You had fallen into temptation.
There was a chance he would have mercy on you. All you had to do was beg and plead for his forgiveness—and more importantly, for the forgiveness of God. “Vow to atone for your sins,” your father would say, his gaze fixed on the Holy Bible in his lap. He probably wouldn’t be able to look at you, not after what you had done. “Repent. And swear to me, child, that you will never so much as glance in that man’s direction ever again.”
No. That’s not what you wanted.
You wanted Joel and the freedom to be with him.
But that freedom came with a high, high price.
You were willing to pay it, but you’d be lying if you said you were prepared to navigate the consequences. Then again, was there really any way for someone to prepare themselves to be shunned by their own father?
“I can take you home,” Joel offered quietly, the sound of his voice taking you out of the future and bringing you back into the present.
“What?”
“I can take you home,” he repeated himself. “I can take you home right now if that’s what you want, sweet girl. Won’t give you any kinda grief ‘bout it.”
Confused, all you could do was stare at him.
“Listen to me, baby. You mean a lot to me. More than I can even begin to explain,” Joel reassured you before any kind of doubt could find its way into your mind. “I want you to stay with me. There���s nothin’ on what’s left of this fuckin’ earth I want more than for you to stay here with me. But what you want matters to me a hell of a lot more than what I want.” He reached up, lightly stroking your cheek with his thumb. “If you decide you wanna go home and go back to your family—back to your old man—then that’s where I’ll take you. Okay?”
Your father would give you an ultimatum. But Joel? He was giving you a choice. And he’d respect that choice.
“I wanna free you from your cage, my little dove. But I think we both know you’ve gotta make the choice to fly outta there on your own.” He lightly swept his thumb over your quivering bottom lip, his eyes meeting yours as he whispered, “Door’s wide open for you. What you do next is all up to you.”
“I’m afraid, Joel,” you confessed. A tear slipped from the corner of your eye and rolled its way down the side of your face. He was quick to wipe it away, along with the others that followed. “I do want out of my cage. I really, really do. But I’m terrified. All I have ever known is my family and my faith. I have never been apart from my father and my sisters.”
His expression softened. “I know you’re scared. Can’t promise you things will be easy, but there is one thing I can promise you.”
“What’s that?” you questioned, then waited with baited breath.
He gingerly cupped your cheek in his large palm. “I’ve got you,” he swore to you, just like he had done so back at the bar. “If you decide to stay, I promise I’ll take real, real good care of you, alright? For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. You won’t ever have to worry ‘bout a thing with me by your side. Swear it on my life.”
Warmth blossomed in your heartspace and finally, you stopped trembling. Lifting a hand, you curled your fingers around his wrist as your gaze fell to his mouth. “Joel?”
“What is it, darlin’ girl?”
“Kiss me. Please.”
With a gentle nod, Joel’s other hand found your hip, the warmth of it seeping through the cotton fabric of your dress. Leaning in, he brushed his lips against yours. It was a chaste thing, soft and innocent until you grabbed the collar of his shirt and pulled him closer to you. “Babygirl,” he mumbled against your lips. He deepened the kiss, sweeping his tongue through your parted lips and into your mouth. He tasted like bold bourbon and citrus beer. There was a faint hint of tobacco too—you recalled him admitting to you one night in the church house that while he wasn’t all that much of a smoker, at least not like he used to be when living in the zones, he would occasionally partake in the habit if he happened to come across a pack of cigarettes while out on patrol, pairing the nicotine with a drink. He tasted delicious. He tasted delicious because he tasted like yours.
You sank back into the worn, supple brown leather of his couch, tugging him forward so he sank in with you. Over you. Releasing your near death grip on his collar, you managed to wedge your hands in between your bodies and began to claw furiously at the buttons of his shirt, your fingers shaking out of pure desperation to feel him. It wasn’t until you were halfway down that he finally noticed what you were doing and leaned back, catching both of your wrists.
“Baby, wait,” he panted, shaking his head. “Don’t think now’s a good time for that—”
“Joel, please,” you pleaded, the intense ache between your thighs almost too much for you to bear. “Please. I want it. I want you.”
“S’been a rough night for you.” Joel’s voice was hoarse—strained, like he was aching just as much, if not more. “You’re real emotional right now. Vulnerable. Last thing I want is to take advantage of you at a time like this.”
You frowned. Had Seth’s words gotten into his head?
“You’re not taking advantage of me.”
“Darlin’ I just don’t think we should—”
“Joel, please,” you begged him again. “I was so good for you, was I not? Wasn’t I patient, just like you asked me to be?”
His lips thinned into a tight line. He wouldn’t be able to resist much longer. You, his beautiful little temptress of Eden.
“I waited for so long,” you reminded him. “I’ve been so, so good for you. Please, just make me yours already. I don’t want to think about anything else right now. I just want to be with you. Please, Joel. I need you so badly it hurts.”
Christ.
No man could stand it. No man could possibly have the strength to deny you.
With a look of utter defeat, he folded. Before he could say another word or make another move, your greedy mouth was on his, and you kissed him with fervor, with urgency, as you finished the task of unbuttoning his shirt. Pushing it off of his shoulders, the corduroy fabric fell into a crumpled heap behind him, nearly knocking the glass of water off the coffee table. You broke away from him and shamelessly marveled at his mouth watering form—you admired the way miles of smooth, tanned skin stretched over his wide shoulders, broad chest and soft, soft belly. Arousal pooled between your legs and you reached out and raked your fingers down his chest, and over his stomach, going lower and lower, following the trail of coarse, dark hair that led you to his brown leather belt. You clumsily started fumbling with the brass buckle until he caught your hands once more.
“Slow down, my little dove,” he murmured. “No need to rush this. We’ve got all night.” He stood up and held his hand out to you. Time blurred a bit—maybe it was your nervousness mingled with the eager anticipation of what was to come, but there seemed to be a small gap in your memory, a blank space that spanned from the moment you rose off the couch until the moment you found yourself standing in his bedroom where you were about to answer to the call of the flesh.
Dropping your hand, Joel switched on the lamp on his bedside table and kicked off his boots before taking you into his arms. “C’mere, honey.” He nuzzled your cheek with the tip of his nose as he spoke, the scruff of his beard tickling your cheek. “Couple’a rules, sweet girl. I do somethin’ that you don’t like, you tell me. You want me to stop, you tell me to sto—”
Without waiting for him to finish his sentence, you slowly lowered yourself down onto the floor and knelt at his feet with purpose, as if kneeling before an altar, a sacred, holy space. Though you felt anxious, you were eager to worship. “I haven’t forgotten about what I said earlier tonight,” you cooed, noticing the mild look of surprise on his face. “I said I’d make it up to you and I intend on keeping my word.”
All the blood in his body rushed south to his cock and it strained painfully against the crotch of his jeans. “Baby, I—” Again, he was cut off, only this time by the sound of his own groan when your hand brushed up the front of his thigh and over his growing bulge. He glanced down, his heart thrumming painfully hard against his sternum as he watched you reach for his belt buckle.
With all your might, you willed your hands so as not to tremble. It was self-explanatory, what you were about to do, but your total lack of experience sowed seeds of doubt into your mind—you wanted to make him feel good, just like he had made you feel good outside of the church house during services. Just how you knew he would make you feel tonight.
Hand still over his buckle, you pressed the tenderest of kisses to his bulge through his jeans. Then, turning your head, you rested your cheek on one of his thick, blue denim clad thighs and peered up at him through your eyelashes with a small, nervous smile as you confessed what he already knew. “I’ve never done this before.”
Oh, how sweet and endearing you were. Joel reached down and smoothed your hair back and away from your face, tucking it behind your ear. “S’alright, honey,” he crooned, grazing the silkiness of your cheek with his index finger. “I’ll walk you through it. Teach you how to be a real good girl and suck my cock just the way I like it. That what you want, my little dove?”
His filth made your cunt clench hard around nothing.
Slowly lifting your head off of his thigh, you pulled your bottom lip between your teeth and managed a clear, consenting nod as your hands fumbled with his buckle, the clinking sound of metal ringing loudly in your ears. You undid the button on his jeans and pulled down his zipper, your throat drying when you saw the outline of him, his size intimidating even behind the cotton fabric of his faded, black boxer briefs.
With a harsh swallow, you glanced up at him, silently asking him for his permission to continue.
Such a polite little thing, Joel thought to himself. “Go on, sweetheart,” he encouraged.
You tugged his jeans down to the middle of his thighs and hooked your index fingers underneath the elastic waistband of his boxer briefs, pulling them down and freeing his cock. There was a deep, swooping sensation in your belly as you watched it slap up against the lower part of his abdomen. After many nights of sitting in his lap, feeling him through his clothes, grinding your cunt down onto him, you thought you’d at the very least had an idea of what you would be in for, but oh, how wrong you had been. He was so much bigger than you could have imagined, and your stomach swooped again when you realized he was not going to fit. Anywhere.
Licking away the dryness of your lips, you take him in one of your hands, feeling the heaviness of his length in your palm. He was so long and so, so thick.
“Oh fuck,” Joel hissed the curse through gritted teeth, his hips jerking forward involuntarily as your touch sent a charged jolt of electricity shooting up the length of his spine. He looked down at you, his pupils blown wide with arousal. Christ. You hadn’t even done anything to him yet, but seeing you sitting so prettily at his feet was almost enough to make him come on the spot.
Delicately wrapping your hand around him, you found yourself almost in awe at the way your fingertips barely, just barely, touched. The sheer size of his cock dwarfed your hand, and made it seem so much smaller than it really was.
“You’re so big,” you murmured, echoing your thoughts. You licked at your lips again, suddenly feeling ravenous, an appetite that had seemingly come out of nowhere making you salivate. The tip of him was flushed red, slit already glistening—how badly you wanted, needed a taste. Never, ever, did you think you would be down on your knees for anything but prayer, but there you were, starved and desperate to bite into the forbidden fruit.
“What’re you waitin’ for, darlin’ girl?” he croaked.
“Permission,” you replied, sweetly.
“Go right ahead, baby. S’all yours—I’m all yours.”
Yours.
Yours, yours, yours.
Finding your first push of courage, you leaned forward and so carefully swept your tongue along the tip of his length, collecting the slight saltiness leaking from the slit and getting your first delectable taste. With your hand still wrapped firmly around his base, you looked up, your eyes locked on Joel’s face as you flicked your tongue up against the rigid underside of his cock.
“Fuckin’ Christ,” Joel groaned, all of the muscles in his stomach already pulling taut when he felt you dragging your tongue in a slow, purposeful lick along the length of him. “Babygirl.”
“Is that good?” you asked him, sounding hopeful. “Am I doing good?”
“Doin’ so, so fuckin’ good for me, sweetheart. Look so fuckin’ pretty down on your knees for me.”
Pleased, you wrapped your mouth around the head of his length, pressing forward and taking him in as far as you possibly could—which, in all fairness, wasn’t very far. At least not as far as you would have liked. Another groan tore itself from the depths of his chest as your plush, plump lips sealed around him, your tongue warm and wet on the underside of his cock. Moving both of your hands to rest on the sides of his thighs, you began to move your head back and forth, following what felt most natural to you. The nerves you initially felt slowly but surely dissipated, vanishing one by one with every curse, every tremble, every sharp breath.
Joel resisted the urge to buck his hips forward, fought the desire to feel himself at the back of your throat. He needed to be gentle, so careful with such an innocent, pliant thing who had much, much to learn. “Sweet little fuckin’ mouth feels so good around my cock, baby, just like I fuckin’ knew it would. Y’think it can take more of me, little dove? Hm?”
You hummed, the vibration intensifying his pleasure.
“Yeah? Y’trust me?”
Your reply came in the form of a muffled, “Mhm.”
Joel reached down and cradled the back of your head in the palm of his hand. He carefully guided you further onto his throbbing length, slowly feeding you one inch at a time. Your fingers dug into the denim of his jeans. He was much more than a mouthful for you, and you could only take about half of him before he hit the back of your throat, prompting you to gag around him. Drool dribbled out from the corners of your mouth and down the sides your chin, dripping onto your lap.
“Oh fuck, sweetheart. Yeah, that’s it. Little more now, honey,” Joel encouraged. He bucked his hips forward, his head slipping further down your throat. Just when you felt like you were about to choke, he pulled out and you tried your hardest not to cough and sputter as you took in a much needed, precious breath of air. He gave you a few seconds or so to finish catching your breath as he shoved his jeans and boxer briefs further down his legs. He stepped out of the articles of clothing and kicked them somewhere off to the aside, standing before you completely bare. “Open up.”
Your absolute devotion to him bred sweet submission, so as worried as you were that you wouldn’t be able to handle it, you nodded obediently and very willingly did as you were told.
He guided himself right back into your waiting mouth, pressing deeply. You tried to relax your jaw, reminding yourself to breathe in and out through your nose. Tears streamed down the sides of your face as you did your best to forestall another gag. “Little bit more,” he said, thrusting his hips in a slow, steady controlled rhythm. He advanced even further into your mouth—trusting he wouldn’t suffocate you, nor push you too far past your limits, you opened up wider. He moaned, “Yeah, baby. That’s my good girl. That’s my good fuckin’ girl.”
With a bit of newfound confidence, you hollowed your cheeks and sucked him. You swiped your tongue along the thick, prominent vein on the underside of his cock, earning yourself more of his sweet, sweet praise.
“Fuck, yeah, suck me off, sweetheart. This pretty little mouth was fuckin’ made for sin,” he breathed, guiding your head back and forth with a firm, but gentle hand.
You moaned, the noise muffled around his length. Slick soaked through your panties and coated the insides of your thighs. With another moan, you tightly squeezed your legs together, inwardly reminding yourself that patience was a virtue.
Noticing the way you had shifted, Joel moved his hand from the back of your head, lightly curling his fingers around your jaw. He pulled you off of his cock, a loud, lewd popping sound bouncing off the sage green walls of his bedroom. “C’mere, baby.” He grabbed your arms, effortlessly hoisting you up to your feet.
“What’s wrong?” you questioned him worriedly. “Did I do something wrong?”
Chuckling softly, he brushed a finger along the strap of your dress. You could do no wrong, his perfect, perfect girl. “Of course not, sweet girl. You did so fuckin’ good for me,” Joel reassured you, lightly tracing along your collarbone with his finger and making your flesh erupt in goosebumps. He leaned forward and feathered a kiss onto your lips, murmuring against them, “Are you wet, little dove?”
Before you could even process the query and generate some kind of coherent response, he dove his opposite hand between your thighs, cupping your warm heat in his palm. At this, your weak knees buckled, prompting you to reach out and grab onto his arms to hold steady and keep yourself from falling into a helpless heap on the floor.
“Oh, honey. You’re soaked. That what sucking my cock does to you?” he cooed. He peppered another kiss, this one onto the corner of your mouth. His voice lowered another octave. “Poor little thing. She needs me, don’t she? Needs me to take care of her?”
You whimpered. “Yes.”
“Manners, babygirl,” he reminded you, skimming your cheek with his nose. “Yes, what?”
“Yes, please.”
Humming in approval, Joel withdrew his hand from in between your legs and guided you backwards towards his bed. “Sit,” he commanded gently, bidding you to let go of him. “Arms up.”
Reaching for the hem of your dress, he took great care in pulling it over your head, then discarded the vibrant yellow material over his shoulder, leaving you in nothing but your cowboy boots and thin, cotton white panties. Without a word, he knelt before you and pulled off one boot, and then the other, setting them both aside. He hooked two fingers underneath the elastic waistband of your underwear, coaxing you to lift your bottom off of the bed, just long enough for him to pull them down and slide them down your legs. He was so tender in the manner in which he undressed you.
“Fuckin’ beautiful, beautiful girl,” Joel praised. His dark gaze dragged down the length of your body as you sat before him wearing nothing but the delicate, gold chain around your neck. The holy cross nestled between your supple breasts gleamed in the light of the lamp on the nightstand. He would leave it on until your decision was made, set in stone. “My pretty little dove.”
“Joel.” You whimpered his name, hands curling around fistfuls of his dark blue sheets. You were drenched now, in dire need of some relief. If he didn’t touch you where you needed him most, you would surely lose your mind.
Desperate, you leaned back slightly onto his bed and parted your knees, your folds glistening as you showed him just how badly you needed him.
Joel groaned, almost visibly salivating at the sight. The blazing heat in his eyes sent ripples of desire coursing through your body, straight to your throbbing core.
You opened wider. “Please.”
“Christ, babygirl. Already soakin’ the sheets.” Sliding a finger up along the seam of your pussy, he grazed your clit, the touch light, but somehow still enough to make your hips arch off the mattress as white-hot pinpricks of pleasure danced their way up your spine. He lowered his head and leaned in, your sweet scent drawing him in like a moth to a flame. Just when you were about to start pleading him for more, he dipped his face into the apex of your thighs, his mouth finally, finally, meeting your wet heat.
“Oh!” you gasped, your head falling back. “Fuck!”
Against you, his lips curled upwards into a wicked grin. He’d never heard you curse before, not until now.
Joel took his time devouring you, savoring the essence of your cunt with each broad stroke of his tongue. Sealing his lips around your clit, he flicked the swollen, sensitive bundle of nerves over and over again, eliciting from you some of the sweetest noises that he had ever heard in his entire life. In preparation for what you both knew was to come, he pushed one finger inside of you, the invasion causing you to fist his sheets even harder. He then slipped in a second finger, groaning in sheer, carnal bliss at how your walls squeezed them, at the mere thought of them squeezing his cock in the same manner. How was it that you felt so much tighter this time around?
“Oh God.”
You shouldn’t be saying His name. Not like this.
Not when something this sinful was being done to you.
Hungrily, Joel lapped at you, curling both of his fingers in an upwards motion to hit the perfect spot. He knew you were close, felt it in the way that you squirmed and writhed. Draping his arm across your hips, he pinned them down onto the bed, holding you still as he chased your high as if it were his own.
“Joel,” you chanted his name over and over again in a fevered prayer. Releasing the sheets, your hands found his hair, tangling themselves in his curls. Your head fell back, and you cursed at the ceiling of his bedroom. “Fuck, fuck, fuck Joel—”
Pushing onto his mouth, you came, moaning his name so loudly you were certain the whole neighborhood was getting an earful.
Joel pulled back, his beard and mustache slicked with your spend. “S’right, honey,” he crooned, his digits still buried to the knuckle as he helped you to ride out your wave of ecstasy. Eventually, when he pulled them out, you tried closing your shaking legs. He tsked and shook his head, wrenching them open further. “No, no, baby. Keep those pretty thighs open for me. Wanna see her.” He admired his work, his cock twitching at the sight of your pussy, swollen and shining, and ready to take him.
Like earlier, there was another brief skip in time.
Mind still in a haze, you hadn’t even realized that he’d risen to his feet and guided you further up onto his bed, not until you were lying on your back with your head on his pillow and he was hovering over you, his hard length brushing against one of your messy, inner thighs when he settled himself between your legs.
Your heart began to pound in a mingle of both fear and excitement.
Joel’s eyes met yours. His pupils were blown so wide, there was not one, single trace of brown anywhere to be seen. “Y’absolutely sure about this, little dove?”
Your response came without hesitation. “Yes. I’m sure.”
He pressed a kiss to the underside of your jaw. Your submission was a gift, and he would cherish every last second of your surrender to him, savor it for as long as he possibly could. His lips, soft and warm, skimmed along the column of your throat, leaving a trail of fresh goosebumps in their wake.
If, by some chance, you decided that you wanted to go back to your father and to your faith, Joel didn’t know how he would find it in himself to let you go, not after this. Of course, he would have to let go, though.
The last thing he wanted was to help free you from one cage just to stick you right back into another. While he was no stranger to loss, he had to admit to himself that to lose you would be a knife to whatever was left of his heart.
Shoving the thought out of his mind, he reached down and gripped the base of his cock, pumping it in his fist before running the leaking head along your puffy lips, coating himself in your wetness with the hope it would ease some of the pain you were bound to feel. “Ready, babygirl?” he asked you, lightly teasing your entrance. “Might hurt a bit. M’gonna go slow. Just need you to relax for me, alright?”
“Okay.”
“I’ve got you,” he promised.
You nodded, saying softly, “I know.”
Though he knew he had all of your trust, Joel could still sense your anxiousness. He reached out for your hand, lacing your fingers together with his own as he gingerly pressed forward and eased himself into you, taking the very innocence you had been taught your entire life to preserve, one slow, careful inch at a time.
“Oh—Joel!” You cried loudly at the initial stretch, your pretty face scrunching in discomfort. Tightly slamming your eyes shut, sparks flew behind your eyelids when he finally bottomed out. The burning sting in between your thighs was too overwhelming, almost impossible to cope with. He felt so enormous within you, you could have sworn he was in your belly. Another broken cry fell from your lips and he swallowed it with a comforting kiss.
“Jesus Christ,” he hissed against your lips, a thin sheen of sweat coating his brow, neck, and chest. He wasn’t sure where he found the strength, but he suppressed his urge to thrust. Instead, he dropped his face into the hollow of your neck and waited, giving you the chance to adjust to him. He mumbled against your skin. “Doin’ so good for me, sweet girl. Y’know that? You’re doin’ so fuckin’ good for me.”
Even in discomfort, you preened at his praise.
He squeezed your hand, and after a minute, he gave an experimental thrust of his hips—and then another and another before he ceased his movement once again. He was so big and you were so deliciously full of him.
Eventually, the pain subsided, and you found yourself asking, no, begging for more. “Move.” Your other hand found itself cupping the side of his face, coaxing him to lift his head and allowing your gazes to meet. Your soft, plush thighs parted further to help accommodate the breadth of his hips. “Please, Joel. I need you to move—I need you to fuck me.”
Surely, you would be the death of him.
He drew his hips back with cautious, tender care, then advanced in the same manner to fill your precious cunt all over again. He did it over and over, your pleasured moans encouraging him to begin picking up the pace. He drove his cock in and out of your weeping pussy, the slapping of flesh against flesh, the lewd, wet squelch of you around him inspiring him to fuck you harder, faster. And the noises you were making?
There was something oh so beautiful about your cries, sweet raptures of submission as you laid there beneath him, all too graciously taking everything he had to give you like the good, good, good girl you were for him.
“Fuckin’ hell, sweetheart,” Joel rasped. “Look at you—look at the way you take my fuckin’ cock, honey.”
And you did.
Glancing down, your gaze fell between your bodies and you watched in awe, openly marveled at the way Joel slid in and out of your cunt, how he knocked hard so deeply inside of you, driving himself as far as he could possibly go.
“Fuck Joel, I’m gonna—” You tried warning him as the pressure in your belly neared its peak, but you tumbled over the edge before you even had the chance to finish your sentence. Arching up off off the bed, you pressed your chest against his, your fingers squeezing his own so hard you feared you might break them.
“That’s it babygirl, let go,” he grunted, speeding up his thrusts. “Squeeze my fuckin’ cock—just like that. Good girl. My perfect, perfect girl.”
You didn’t quite get the chance to let the praise sink in.
Joel pulled himself out of you, and with ease, he flipped you over onto your belly. His hands gripped your hips and pulled them up off the mattress, his fingers moving to firmly knead the fleshiest part of your ass. He leaned over you, the head of his cock nudging at your hole. “Y’think you can handle a little bit more, sweetheart?” he whispered the question into a tumble of messy hair, the delicate scent of the lavender shampoo you used to wash it filling his senses. “Answer me, little dove.”
“Yes,” you replied breathlessly with a nod. “I can.”
With a satisfied hum, Joel sank into you, this second stretch not quite as overwhelming at the first, but still intense. “Relax,” he murmured, hunching further over your quivering back. He pressed a kiss onto the top of your head and then leaned down to brace his hands on either side of you. “Need you to be sweet for me just a bit longer, okay, baby?”
“God,” you whimpered when the heaviness of his balls came to rest on your sensitive clit.
It was the second time you’d uttered His name.
Joel almost grinned at the irony. He found his rhythm, groaning in gut-deep satisfaction with each snap of his hips—each smooth stroke in and each smooth stroke out.
“Oh fuck, sweet girl.” Heaven was indeed a real place, and Joel Miller was buried in it to the hilt, right at this very moment.
He was getting closer and closer.
Maybe it was your eagerness to help him reach his own release mingled with the pride you knew you would feel once you did that gave you a second wind, a fresh, new burst of energy. You planted your hands firmly on his pillow. Rolling your bottom lip between your teeth, you curved your spine and pushed back onto Joel with purpose, meeting his thrusts halfway as you rode his aching length to the satiation that waited for him at the end.
“There’s my girl,” he rasped. “Oh fuckin’ Christ—”
No way he could live his life without you now.
He needed you.
He needed you so much more than you needed him.
Joel slipped an arm around your shoulders, across your chest.
“Oh!” you gasped as he then yanked you back, pulling you flush against him. The rough crash of your back against his chest, combined with the angle in which he was fucking you knocked the wind out of your lungs.
His lips were at the shell of your ear. “Stay,” he panted, his breath hot against your cheekbone. He wrapped his other hand lightly around your throat. Relentless, were his hips now—his movements had become frantic. Desperate. “Stay with me, baby.”
Even as you fought to catch your breath in the position he had you in, you picked up on the fact that he wasn’t asking you of it, nor was he demanding you of it.
He was begging you.
Him, the most feared man in this town. Begging you?
“Joel,” you choked.
“Please, my little dove,” he pleaded, turning your head towards him. His mouth was then on the corner of your own, his beard roughly scratching the soft and delicate flesh of your cheek. “I need you, babygirl. Stay with me. Please, just fuckin’ stay with me.”
Your hands curled around his wrists. “Yes, I’ll stay,” you moaned. “I’m yours, Joel. I’m all yours. I—I’m not going anywhere. I promise. I’ll stay with you.”
A low, guttural sound rumbled through his chest. Joel firmly took hold of your cross, and without so much as a warning, he ripped the chain from around your neck and tossed it somewhere over his shoulder. He heard it land on the hardwood floor with the tiniest, faint clink the moment he spilled into you, ropes of warm release coating your fluttering walls. Curses and groans spilled from his lips and into your neck. Your cunt clutched at his pulsing cock, greedy for every last drop of his spend she could get.
Once you were filled, you both collapsed beside each other on the bed, heaving to catch a steady breath.
“Y’okay, sweetheart?” Joel managed to ask, his chest still rising and falling rapidly.
Exhausted, all you could do was nod and utter, “Mhm.”
He exhaled an amused huff through his nose. “C’mere.” He reached for you and pulled you against his side. He draped an arm around your shoulders, holding you as close to him as was possible. “Y’did so good, honey.”
Your mouth curled into a small, contented smile.
Several minutes had passed by, and despite telling him that you were too tired to even think about moving, Joel made you get up and use the bathroom, and while you did so, he ran a clean washcloth under warm water. “Here, darlin’. Let me clean you up,” he’d said, his lips meeting your forehead in a loving token of affection before he sank down onto one knee and ran the damp cloth along the insides of your thighs. He took extreme care when he wiped at your swollen folds, knowing you were still sensitive to the touch. “There we go. All done, now.”
Not long after, you were both back in his bed, wrapped up in his sheets.
Yawning, you nuzzled into bare his chest, your eyelids feeling heavier and heavier with each and every second that ticked by. You’d started drifting off when you heard his voice.
“Baby?”
“Hmm?” you answered sleepily, eyes still closed.
“Did you mean what you said?”
“Mean what, Joel?”
There was a brief pause. “Y’know, when you said you’d stay with me.”
Snuggling closer to him, you mumbled, “Mhm. Of course I did.”
“S’not gonna be easy,” Joel murmured into your hair.
“I know.” You yawned. “But I have you.”
“You do. You’ve got me—and I’ve got you, babygirl.”
“Mm. I know that too, Joel.”
You felt him kiss the top of your head and then fell fast asleep in his arms.
The sun bloomed over the Grand Tetons.
Your father would wake soon, that’s to say if he wasn’t up already.
The nerves began to set in.
Joel must have sensed it. “Breathe, baby. S’gonna be okay,” he soothed, squeezing your hand.
With one of his warmer, heavier jackets that normally didn’t see the light of day until winter season draped around your shoulders, the two of you made your way down the road and towards your house. Or better said, towards your father’s house. Because after what you were about to do, that yellow and white cottage would no longer be a place you could call home.
He led you up to the porch. “Y’sure you don’t want me to go in there with you?” he asked, quietly.
You could have laughed. You almost did.
“Do you believe that to be a wise choice?”
“No, I reckon it ain’t the best idea,” Joel admitted with a sigh, raking his free hand through his unkempt, salt and pepper hair. He looked up at the house, then back at you. “Look, little dove. No matter what happens in there, just know that everythin’ will be alright. M’gonna take care of you. For the rest of my life, I’ll take care of you. I’ll try my hardest to be everythin’ you need.”
“You already are, Joel,” you said, your gaze earnest.
His chest swelled with warmth.
Truth be told, Joel didn’t know how he had managed to defy the odds—how he, of all people, had managed to make his way into that sweet, innocent, beautiful little heart of yours, but somehow he did, and he would not take this responsibility lightly.
He brushed your lips with his and promised, “Gonna be waitin’ right here, okay?”
“Okay.” Inhaling deeply, you willed yourself to let go of his hand and took a step back. You then started up the porch steps on wobbling legs. When you made it to the top, you glanced over your shoulder at Joel, who gave you a subtle nod of encouragement. Exhaling slowly, you reached for the knob with trembling fingers and turned it, opening the door. You stepped inside, your heart dropping into your stomach when you saw your father sitting there at the foot of the staircase, as if he’d been waiting for you. He had been waiting for you. Fully dressed, he sat on the second to last step with both hands folded on his bible in his lap, a rosary clutched between them. “Papa?”
He said nothing. Instead, he silently observed you—his eyes glazed over the men’s jacket and the short dress you wore underneath it, the disheveled, loose hair and kiss swollen lips. Your holy cross nowhere to be seen.
“Papa.” You swallowed harshly and shifted your weight anxiously from the heel of one boot to the other. “We, um—we really need to have a talk.”
He peered around you, catching a brief glimpse of the man standing outside, waiting for you at the foot of the porch.
He cleared his throat, lightly. “Yes, child. I suppose that we do.”
Nodding tightly, you turned around and slowly closed the door. Joel’s words rang in your mind over and over, giving you the push of strength you knew you would need.
I’ve got you.
divider credit goes to @saradika 🤍
#fic: fall into temptation#joel miller x reader#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x female reader#joel miller x afab!reader#joel miller x you#joel miller smut#joel miller series#joel miller fic#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller angst#the last of us fic#the last of us fanfiction#tlou fanfiction#post outbreak joel
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Kara has always dreaded the day she’d meet her soulmate.
There’s relief in knowing she has one, of course. The person meant for her didn’t die with Krypton. That’s something! Even still, it’s hard to feel excited for the moment they meet, because that’s the moment Kara will hurt them. She’s had their exclamation of pain inked into her skin for as long as she’s been on Earth. In some ways it’s better. Most people have phrases like “good morning” or “hold the door please” as their soulmate’s first words. They have to endure hundreds of almosts, breath held just in case that stranger really is the one. Kara won’t have to do that. Her words are far too distinct.
It's agony, thinking about how their meeting will go. She spends years imagining every possible scenario, each one more painful than the last, yet the day it happens she barely even registers it. The words wash right over her, drowned out by the loud crack as her hand makes sudden contact with a stranger's face. The telltale crunch of contact shocks her. She hadn't registered anyone was there during her dramatic retelling, otherwise she would have kept her gestures small. She wouldn't have flung her hand out with such force.
The woman she's hit is hunched over, clutching at her face. She gasped loud and sharp when it hit, and now she's just wheezily breathing in shock. Kara can see blood starting to drip down her wrist.
“Did you," the woman gasps, and her voice sounds wet. "Did you just break my nose?” Kara wants to die.
“I’m so sorry! Are you okay? I am so sorry!”
People are looking at them and the woman keeps cursing under her breath and Kara really, really doesn’t know what to do. Her hands hover uselessly over the hunched figure, desperate to soothe but scared to touch in a moment like this. “I didn’t mean to – I was telling a story and I got too excited with my hands I guess, I didn’t see you there. Are you- can I-”
She looks to Alex for guidance, but she’s just staring at the interaction with a wide-eyed wonder. Typically her sister knows what to do in a scary situation, but now she’s looking just as clueless. They’re both barely awake at this point – it’s six in the morning and they’ve been at this airport terminal since midnight, miserably watching their red eye flight push into a mid-day departure. They’re both half-delirious, which is fun when you’re goofing off but less so when you’ve just broken a stranger’s nose.
And then it hits her. The words she’s carried on her arm for so many years are tingling, she realizes, and they’ve been tingling from the second her skin met the girl’s.
Did you did you just break my nose?
“Oh wow,” Kara says, dumbfounded. “It’s you.” The woman falls silent. She must be realizing too Kara thinks as she fumbles with her sleeve, pushing it up enough to show her inked arm. The woman's eyes drop to the tattoo that's brought such shame to Kara for so long. She feels her eyes like a touch. “I – I’m so happy to meet you! I’m so sorry it happened like this.” She laughs and it sounds strained. Her hands are shaking. The woman doesn't look up from her arm.
Even hunched over in pain, it's clear the woman is beautiful. Important, even, considering how she's dressed. She's dressed like she's en route to lead a business conference, her tight black skirt and matching blazer scream business professional. Though the effects are tampered a bit by the splattering of blood that’s dripped down her white blouse. Kara wonders how old she is to be dressed like that. She must be older to look like that. At nearly nineteen, Kara has never had anything more than a graduation to dress nicely for, and even then she wore her stained dress pants. This woman - her soulmate - must be much older than her, which feels strange to think. She looks Kara's age, maybe even younger. If not for how clearly tailored to her body her clothes are, she'd almost look like she was playing dress up.
Kara feels self-conscious then, sharply aware of how she must look to her soulmate. As smart as it felt to come to the airport in pajamas for her all-night flight, standing in rubber duck pajama pants while trying to have a conversation with her goddess of a soulmate did little for Kara's confidence.
When Kara’s eyes finally track back up to her face, she finds sharp green ones staring back. They're the prettiest eyes she's ever seen, and they don't seem interested in looking away. That's fine with her - she's more than content to stare right back.
It's only the soft plop of blood hitting tile that draws her attention back to her crime, and she can see the way the woman's hands have become covered in blood. "Oh gosh, here - let me…” Kara fumbles in her backpack for a moment with no clear plan. All she knows is she has to do something to fix this. She fumbles about before pulling out a clean t-shirt. “Here. For the-” She holds it out to the girl and gestures at her own face. Slowly, like she’s scared Kara might grab her or something, the woman takes the offered shirt. She wipes the blood from her face and hands, dabbing beneath her nose. The bleeding seems to have stopped, at least, and the shirt helps contain what's escaped. Watching a stranger wipe blood on her high school band t-shirt shouldn’t thrill Kara as much as it does, and yet.
Kara laughs again, the sound nervous and high-pitched, before taking a step towards her. Her soulmate’s eyes go wide, tracking her movements, and Kara's heart clenches when she steps away. The rapid race of her soulmate's heart beats into Kara's ear - she can literally hear her fear. She holds her hands up in surrender, stepping back to where she’d been before. The last thing she wants is for her to be afraid. “Does it hurt?” she asks, and her soulmate shakes her head no. “That’s good. That’s good. I- uh." She has nothing more to say, and her soulmate's certainly not contributing. Kara’s palms are sweating. She hasn’t sweat since she was thirteen, but one look from this person has her rubbing her hands on her pajama pants like a middle schooler at a dance.
The woman finishes wiping up and lets her arms fall, blessing Kara with her first real look at her face. Bloodied and skittish, she’s beautiful in a way Kara can hardly comprehend, in a way she could never imagine. Kara's pretty sure she's blushing now for some reason, and she has to flex her toes to be sure she’s still touching the ground. “My name’s Kara,” she says, and then gestures over her shoulder. “That’s my sister Alex. We’re flying home for winter break. Midvale - Midvale is home for us. Where- where are you flying to?”
The woman stares and stares, and Kara's starting to panic thinking she'd given her soulmate a head injury that's muted her somehow, when at last the woman speaks just barely above a whisper.
“Home,” she says. It feels like her heart might burst just from hearing that one stilted word. Kara wants to hear a thousand more, wants to hear nothing else for the rest of her life.
“That’s awesome. W-where’s home for you?” The woman's lip trembles as she opens her mouth, closes it, and then opens it again.
“I’m sorry,” she says, and then throws the t-shirt at Kara’s face.
Kara fumbles catching it, distracted by the shock and gross factor of having a blood-soaked shirt hurled at her face, and it takes her far too many precious seconds to realize her soulmate is gone. Bewildered, Kara looks around before just catching sight of her vanishing around the corner, high heels and racing heart clattering away. She looks at Alex. Alex waves at her, frantic. “Go!” Alex yells, and Kara takes off.
Pretending to be a human has never been harder than it is while chasing after her soulmate. Normal human pace - especially what's acceptable at an airport - is not fast enough for this, not when the woman has already gotten so far ahead. Kara must look ridiculous, bursting into sprints only to trip suddenly into a walk over and over again, her ears locked on to the thudding heartbeat and faint whispers of her soulmate mumbling, “crap crap crap crap,” ahead.
Kara’s thankful they’re in an airport, at least. Her soulmate can’t just run outside, and Kara is fine embracing the romcom trope of following her love onto the plane. Her soulmate stops moving ahead and Kara speeds up, nearly wiping out twice tripping over luggage and small children. Her heart is in her throat as she clears the corner her soulmate is behind and pushes her way into the door she's passed through. All the wind knocks out of her lungs then when she sees her again. The woman looks up at her in shock, as if she didn't think Kara would chase her. As if Kara would just let her go. With a visible gulp, her soulmate flees around a corner and disappears out of sight. Kara manages a single step forward before a body blocks her way, and she looks up to see a massive security guard staring down at her.
“Membership card, please.”
Kara tries to peer around him. He steps in her way, cutting her vision off. Her soulmate led her into some private place you can't just walk into, she realizes, glancing around at the sleek appearance and exclusive atmosphere. “I- uh, left my card in my other bag,” she says, gesturing back over her shoulder. She can hear her soulmate’s breathing and it's all she can focus on. She’s right there. Just out of sight. Kara is so close. “I’m afraid you need your card to enter the fly lounge,” he says sternly. He starts pushing gently at her, trying to nudge her back out of the sliding glass door she’s come in. Kara almost forgets to let him move her. “I- I’m sorry, someone I need to talk to just went in there and I-” She stops in the doorway, hand firm on the wall. She can hear the way the guard huffs against her solid pressure. She’s not acting very human right now and she knows it.
“I’m gonna have to ask you to leave, ma’am," he says, pushing more forcefully against her. Forceful enough that she knows she has to move even as all her instincts war against it. “Can- can I buy a membership? Like a day pass or something?”
The guard looks over at the front desk, making eye contact with a woman who looks like she would rather watch Kara be flayed alive than allowed another step inside.
“A day membership is $189 plus tax,” she whines out in a nasally voice, tone making clear she already knows Kara won’t be affording that. Which is accurate. Kara barely has enough to buy a meal.
Looks like her soulmate is rich, then.
The man nudges her back again and a flash of panic echoes through her chest. For a moment, she envisions herself throwing him out the open door, tossing aside anything or anyone that tries to keep her from her future. But she’s already scared her soulmate enough for one day, so she smiles with forced bashfulness and allows herself to be walked back out of the lounge.
The frosted glass door marked High Flyers Club Lounge shuts her out mockingly. But it’s fine! Eventually her soulmate’s flight time will be here and she’ll have no choice but to come out and face her. Kara just has to be patient. (Kara hates being patient.)
She takes a seat against the wall across from the lounge entrance. Her glasses rest low on her nose as she stares her soulmate, soaking in every inch of her as she paces in the luxurious lounge. Her heart is racing, she seems on the edge of a panic attack, and Kara wants desperately to be in there with her talking her down. But she can’t, so she’s left to watch – at least until the girl steps into the private restroom. She stops watching after that. Instead, she settles down to listen to the comforting beat of her soulmate’s heart, closer now than it’s ever been.
Her mind wanders as she waits, mentally reviewing every moment of their interaction. Considering where she failed, where she succeeded. Making lists about what to say to her next. She never got her name, for one thing, and she still doesn’t know where her home is. There’s so much for her to learn.
Her mental meandering is so consuming that it takes her a bit to realize the heartbeat has moved farther away. At first she thinks her soulmate is just moving around the club, but no- she’s moving away from the airport. A quick glance through walls shows her that her soulmate isn’t in the club anymore. The heartbeat is elevating, she realizes, and Kara runs to the glass wall just in time to see the plane - small, private, with an apparent access point from within the lounge – take off.
Horror and confusion overwhelm her, bringing tears to her eyes. This doesn't make sense. Why would she just leave without saying a word? Why would her soulmate do that? It's almost unbearable, the pain of it. She doesn’t know how long she stands there, face pressed to the glass, listening as the heartbeat grows quieter and quieter before vanishing all together.
Kara learns a lot about grief after that.
She knew a lot already – far more than any one person should ever know – but that grief carried a different weight. The loss of her people wasn't a choice by them. They didn't want to die. The loss of her soulmate is its own beast, sharp and cruel in her heart, because this time the person she mourns chose to abandon her. Her soulmate chose to leave. She saw Kara that morning and decided that one look was enough, that Kara wasn't worth any more of her time. She left her there with nothing but a bloody t-shirt and a thousand questions. Kara never even learned her name.
She goes through the stages – she feels her anger burning out in her eyes, feels the sorrow take hold. She denies it, she bargains with everyone, anyone. She calls the Flyer’s Club, tries calling the FAA. She tracks flight logs and makes cold calls and still finds nothing at all. She writes about it on soulmate websites and Medium articles, casting a wide net so that someday when – if, her mind reminds her. if if if - her soulmate ever looks she’ll be able to find her.
Time dulls the sharpness, though, and the years shift that rejected feeling into a more muted anger. Kara doesn't care about the love lost. She doesn't care if the person is her other half. All she cares about is the anger. Finding her feels more like a hunt than a quest for love – she’s got a lot to say to the other woman when they finally meet again. She just wants one more meeting, that’s all. Just enough time to tell her exactly where she can go. Kara doesn’t need a soulmate, after all. Her life is full of love and joy and adventure, and she doesn’t need another person to complete her. She graduates college with a degree in English, minor in Journalism – her attempts to track down her soulmate really ignite the journalistic bug in her, and with Clark’s constant encouragement it feels inevitable. She moves to a big city despite her small-town fears and she gets a job almost no one survives. Kara is thriving.
It almost shocks her, then, the way her heart trips over itself when she sees her again.
They’re watching the trial, her and Alex, and Alex is halfway through a lecture on how she’d always known Lex Luthor was evil by the way he wore his pants – (“Good guys don’t wear their pants that high, Kara, it’s common sense.”) – when Kara's nerves jolt like a lightning bolt has rushed through her. Her gasp is so sharp Alex screams almost in sympathy.
“What? What is it?” Alex yells at her, looking around for some danger lurking nearby. Kara tumbles to the floor practically crawling to the television screen. Someone new has taken the stand, someone she'd recognize anywhere.
“Alex,” she says, jamming her finger against the somewhat grainy image projected on her television. “It's her.” “What!” “My soulmate!" Kara knows it like she knows herself, even after all this time. She looks different. Six years of struggle sit clear in her hard gaze, her mouth twisted into solemn resignation. She looks almost casual on the stand, sitting comfortably despite the eyes of the world on her. Like it's just a regular conversation. Like she’s not about to help send her brother to prison for life. “Lena Luthor, sister of the defendant” reads the helpful banner beneath her grim face. Even after everything, Kara is struck by her. She's breathtaking. Kara kind of hates her for it. “Hold on, that’s- you barely even saw her when you met! You don’t know for sure.” Alex sounds desperate, which is fair. The younger sister of the man who tried to kill Superman is certainly not an ideal soulmate for someone like Kara, but it doesn't matter. It's her. “I’m sure,” she says, and feels the truth of it deep in her bones.
A giggle hits her then that's so inappropriate for the moment it makes her feel crazy, but she can't help it. As Lena Luthor begins to explain the piles of evidence she’s gathered against her brother, Kara giggles away. She feels almost drunk on it, smug and satisfied. “Found you,” she says, almost like a taunt. She drags her finger over the screen, feeling the static of her ancient television biting back at her as she caresses Lena Luthor's face. The anger that’s long settled inside of her seems to reignite with every charged word Lena speaks against her brother, with every glance she makes at the camera. She can feel Alex’s nervous energy behind her but she doesn’t care. The politics of this, the implications - none of it matters to Kara. What matters is she has a name, and she has a general location. She's so close she can practically taste it. “See you soon, soulmate,” Kara whispers, and for a second it feels almost like Lena is staring right back.
#Hey man here's a soulmate au that burst out of my brain and demanded to exist#this will probably end up on ao3 but I want to write another chapter at least before that#also this follows my standard formula that I love but rarely see in soulmate aus#where one (or ideally both) of them are like HEY ACTUALLY NO THANKS and try like hell to deny the deep and inevitable drag of destiny#mine#supercorp
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🕷️ Her Secret Life
spiderverse!ellie williams x f!reader
your girlfriend has a secondary life living as the spider-person in your city—and for years you’ve been unaware until you come face to face with the truth
tw: not proofread (shitty writing), spiderverse!au, fluff, hurt/comfort, eventual smut, loser!ellie, established relationship, angst w happy ending, protective/protector!ellie, weapon (gun, knife), injury (e and r sustaining), kidnapping (r), blood tw, argument, love confessions, intimate non-sexual nudity, fluff, fingering (r receiving), r had hair people can grip
wc ✎ 4.3k
“Shit,” you hiss, peeling your hand back from the burner. A bit of boiling water had flung over, landing itself onto your hand. Ellie, nearby, moves near when she heard the sound coming from your clenched teeth. She smiles softly, bringing your hand up to her face and kissing where it burns.
You shrug her off with a matching smile growing on your face, “flirt.”
“You say that like you don’t love it,” she sighs, wrapping her arms around your stomach. You spin around, attention shifting to her entirely—expression serious and gentle.
“I do love it,” you peck her cheek.
Her eyes—at their best shade of green when the sun hit her in such a way—glance down at your lips. She pulls you close just as she’s done for the past three years to pour her emotions grown for you over the time she’s known you.
The broadcast on the tv slips between the moment the two of you share—taking ahold of her focus all the while her lips keep coming back to yours. Physically she was still on you, but emotionally she was a whirlwind.
A burglary’s happening, a gun’s involved. How she wished to stay here wrapped in your arms and enjoy the food once it’s warm—she can’t. There’re people she’s required to save, she can’t leave them there.
The guilt eats her alive, motivating her to pull out of your embrace—leaving you sitting on the kitchen counter, lips swollen as she runs out. She stands by the front door, sliding her hair up into a small pony tail and grabbing her keys.
“You okay?”
“Yeah, just some stuff to handle,” she replied, her eyes bright but evasive.
As she walked out, a nagging feeling settled in your stomach. You shook it off, returning to finishing cooking the food you had set out earlier. Hearing the news on the tv, the bit of worrisome information had you shutting it off.
This wasn’t the first she’s ran out. It’s often that you feel that pit your stomach. It’s often that you see the far away look in her eyes as she runs out. She’s said it’s her job, but you’re worried for her. Your girlfriend left around 5:23pm, and finally arrived back home around midnight.
Her leaving is normal, only happening here and there—until the time came where she was gone for a concerning amount of time. Really made you question if she worked with a team with how many hours she would work. Her hours got worse, causing her to cut off time with you.
Dates and even the small moments were torn, ripped away from you. Instead of nights laughing in bed laughing until two AM, you’d gotten accustomed to a quieter room. The only sound you hear as you shut your eyes is the sound of the AC turning on and off. Ellie always came home, but you never noticed her until the morning after.
Instead of dates, you settled to spend more days to yourself. It was fine, you had no reason to be upset. Ellie had even tried to mend it with you. She brought up the idea of you two making a set moment so she can’t just run out.
Friday, 5:30pm. You both were getting dinner. The plans were set in the phone books, written on the calendar stuck to your fridge by a small magnet. It was written everywhere, a reminder of the excitement coming. You looked forward to it, you both did.
Once the day had arrived, you were left alone at that dining table—left outside to freeze once the sun had set. Just like how your skin was cold to the touch, so had become your temperament towards Ellie.
She shows to your shared apartment with pleas falling off her before the front door closed. It sounds desperate, and so it tugs at your heartstrings—but your last bit of patience had been burnt out tonight. You’ve given her many chances and she’s done nothing to revive them.
“Please,” she whispers, voice hoarse, “say something.”
“Like what? I’m pissed that you can’t seem to fucking show up to one thing between us but you can find a time in your schedule for strangers?”
She sputters, “they’re in danger, what do you expect me to do? It’s my job.”
“You’re right. So right. I’m selfish for wanting a minute with my girlfriend. I’m sorry.”
“That’s not what I’m saying, you know this.”
You spin, “do I? Because lately all I know about you is how good you are at disappearing everytime I need you.”
Oh, Ellie felt sharp pain in her chest—sharper than any knife that’s she’s had dug into her before. Your words combined with the tears in your eyes turned out to be a deadly combo. She should’ve stayed and talked more, you both should’ve communicated. But nonetheless, with heavy hearts, you both walked away from each other.
It wasn’t anything new—the empty space beside you, Ellie’s decor gathering dust on her bed stand. not new, but the chilling feeling continued into the morning. There was no dent put into the space beside you, there was no signs of her last night. You having staying in your apartment, tears falling harder when you watch her leave silently. For the first time in a while, you both stayed at your own apartments.
Turning the shower on was a temporary solution to the goosebumps that lined your body. Ellie liked to slide behind you while you took a shower, enjoying the intimate moment with you. The mornings usually were when she was most free—not much happening that required her to leave. So you cherished it. The shower was warm, warmer than usual so you could make up for the loss of the heat her body hugging you provided.
The water flowing down your body became a bit salty when your tears mixed. Regret filled you now and all you wanted to do was have her back. Living a moment you usually shared with her alone was breaking you. You missed her, you needed her to come back home. With whatever was in the air, you feared she might not come back—your conversation last night kind of sounding like it was leading towards discussing a breakup.
With the knowledge of knowing you are without her, it sure did come as a surprise when the door knob to your bathroom opened. Ellie always announced her presence when she comes in, and right now? it was eerily silent. You froze as you come to realize your situation, heart becoming so loud it rings in your ears. You’re cornered, and without your phone to dial someone for help.
“Make any sort of movement that I don’t like and I’ll shoot you immediately.”
After wrapping a towel around you, you come face to face with your intruder. Who knows why they’re here, but one good guess is money or they’re robbing your house. They take a good look at your tear stained face and your stone-cold expression before they grin.
“Oh how I wish she knew I was here.“
—————————
Ellie had been making her way towards your apartment, finger nails picked to the buds from her stress habits. She’s been a mess since last night, distraught just as much as you were—if not more. She’s always wanted to reveal her identity to you, but now she does more than ever. Knowing she could loose you was enough motivation for her to risk it all—to tell you the truth. So that’s why she’s at your door, knocking in hopes you’ll open it for her.
Nothing. Even after she’s knocked a tenth time, nothing. She calls your phone. Nothing. She texts you. Nothing. Either you’re really upset, or something wrong. She takes the worse case scenario and makes her way through your door, using the spare key you’ve made for her a while back. She calls your name as the door swings open, but it gets caught in her throat when she notices the state of your living room.
It’s been flipped. Decor strewn about, couch cushions placed in other areas of the room, broken glass. What sent her over the edge was a note, one of your known bright colored sticky notes stuck in the center of the room.
On the note it read, “come find us.”
She’s never felt such intense anger and pain in her life.
—————————
It was some hardware store, abandoned long ago no doubt. Your intruder and now kidnapper had you sitting knees first on the concrete floor. Bruises have lined your knees from where they shoved you to the ground once you first arrived. They’ve no real regard to your saftey, pushing and pulling you along without a care in the world. Your hands have since been bounded together by something you’ve never seen before, some different kind of plastic. It’s a material that’s much more difficult to break through than say rope.
Some time has gone by, silence permitting the room as you sit quietly on the floor just a few feet away. You’re still in shock, trying to accept that something like this could ever happen to you. It doesn’t feel real. It’s happened in shows, movies, news, but you in real life? It’s like a fever dream. Your kidnapper sits on a chair nearby, wasting the time by sharpening their knife—looking to you every now and then.
“That girl Ellie, she your girlfriend?”
You weren’t going to answer until you notice they’ve pointed their knife your way.
“Yes.”
They hum, looking back down to the project they’ve started, “I’m only looking after you when I say this. You should break up with her.”
“Why?”
“She doesn’t trust you.”
“What?”
“She doesn’t trust you.”
You nod without any regard to show your emotions, moving on so they’ll stop talking.
“Has she told you her little secret yet? Because it would be really embarrassing if I knew, but not you. Especially since I’m like her nemesis.”
There’s really no reason why that statement got under your nerves so quickly. They push their chair out from under them, stalking towards you and your heart beats louder with each step.
“That expression on your face makes me think she hasn’t.“
Their expression is a mix between playful and sinister, looking to find a crack in you and wedge inside of it.
“I know all about you actually,” they start, voice nothing but a whisper, “I mean it, all about you. About the two of you, your fight last night, what you know and don’t know about her.”
They crouch down to lean into your space, breathing heavily. Being so close it allows you to notice the mechanics in their left eye.
“When I say your girlfriend is someone I hate very much, one could say my enemy or rival, do you know why that is?”
“No.”
They sigh, “do I really have to be this blunt with you? Ellie’s this city’s spiderman and she’s been keeping it a secret because she doesn’t trust you.”
You furrow your eyebrows at what they’re saying, not believing it. They’ve no proof.
Just then a flash of a second later a flash of light comes crashing down from an overhead window, glass breaking onto the floor. There’s no time to even grasp what’s happening when you’re being tugged by your hair. You hiss, sitting up as high as you can in your knees to ease some of the pain. Across from the two of you stood Ellie, laced in her red and black suit. She’s been looking for hours, swinging around the entire city to look for you. It wasn’t until she made eye contact with this warehouse that she felt that tremble of her spider senses going off. Here she was now, staring at you for the first time while dressed in her other identity.
“Let her go.”
Your kidnapper laughs at their serious tone, cooing almost, “did I hit a nerve? Doing your research really does pay off sometimes. Anywho, no. Not until I get what I want.”
The two enter a conversation, one that sounds like they’ve had it many times before—but this time around it seems like your kidnapper may be the successful one.
“Well, I was just having a chat with your lovely girlfriend,” they gesture to you before you’re tossed onto the concrete carelessly, “told her about your little secret but I fear she doesn’t believe me. Could you help me out a bit?”
You gasp from the sting that came with hitting the ground, shoulder burning after receiving a brunt of the pain having colliding with the wall. With blurry eyes, you watch as the mask is removed—even with your pained vision you can tell it’s her. Short auburn hair, attention locked on you. You’re overall fine, just a few cuts and bruises—but each minor injury throws Ellie into a deep state of discomfort.
“It’s sweet the way you care for her. I wonder just how much you care,” they start, reaching to grab the knife they’ve been sharpening. They twirl it around in their hand with ease, eyes locked with your girlfriends as they move to crouch beside you.
“What would you do for her?”
You feel the knife graze the side of your neck, the cold and sharp feeling making you tense. Your eyes shut close, tightly—and you wish everything was just a nightmare.
“Everything.”
“Ah, good question. I can tell it’s honest because it’s cute how stressed you look,” they turn to you, “isn’t it cute? Open your eyes and look.”
You do as told.
“This is the behavior of someone that’s coming face to face with their terrible actions. Your girlfriend here realizes now that you know who she is, you know now about her constant lies. All about her “medical job,” all of those stories of how she’s come back with bleeding cuts.”
“I mean, do you even really know her? I bet you thought you did. Knew her like the back of your hand, your soulmate, the one you love. But this whole time she’s been keeping a secret from you. Wonder how much she actually really loves you if she can’t trust you with such an identity. She’s had enough time to have told you, and it doesn’t look like she was ever going to. After your fight last night it really is looking like she was going to sacrifice your relationship over it.”
Lies. You don’t know why but it feels like they’re making it all up. Maybe you’re stupid, or maybe the look in Ellie’s eyes was telling you what was really going on. They held a warmth there for you, the one you’ve been on the receiving end since the start of your relationship. This is the same look she’s given you before kissing you goodnight, the same look when you’re having a hard day, the same look when you first confessed that I love you phrase.
You might’ve been frustrated with her last night, and you might have some remaining once you’ve figured out she’s spiderman—but none of that was how you felt in this moment. Head resting against the wall with a knife positioned by your neck, you trust her. Your love for her hasn’t changed, and right now you want her to save you.
Ellie’s mask is held tightly in her fist, arm hanging tensely by her side, “what’s your motive for doing all of this?”
“Showing you what it’s like to be in my shoes. You killed my friend, and I’ll never forgive you for that. This is the only way I’ll forgive you. I have two solutions. One, I kill her. Two, I make you both agree to never see each other again. If either of you ever make a move to see one another, I’ll kill you right on the spot.”
“Are you a dumbass, what kind of “solutions” are these? Why would you offer solution one like I’d pick it?”
“You’re not picking them, I am. I’m deciding my mood.”
The buildings swallowed by silence after, save for your occasional sniffle. You’ve been doing good about keeping yourself disassociated with everything going on, but there’s only so much. Silent tears fall down as your chest stutters, lips wobbling from time to time.
Ellie licks her lips, “please just keep her alive, you can do what you want to me.”
“That’s unfair,” they snap, “I never was given a chance with my friend, they’re gone. You’re lucky I even offered another solution.”
You gasp when they press the knife a little harder, the blade close enough now it could cut.
“Thing is. If I kill her now, you’ll deal with this for the rest of your life. If I send you both to ignore each other, especially if I use my memory machine to take you out of the picture—it’s like she died, and it’ll torture you forever.”
At this point it’s like they’re mumbling to themself, discussing how each action sounds. Their grip on the knife loosens just a tad and in that small second Ellie shoots a web to knock the knife from their hold—shooting another to pull it towards her.
“Now I’m going to make a decision.”
She knocks them out cold, throwing a hit that sends them tumbling to the ground unconscious. Webs cover the area around them, trapping them in a cocoon almost. You’re still very much shaken even with such familiar hands touching you again, removing what bounded your wrists together.
Neither of you say anything. Ellie’s hands are running you over, checking for any signs of major injuries. Her hands are shaking, moving at a rushed state. Once she deems you’re alright, she’s calling the police—reporting what happened. All the while you’re needing her, you need her to hold you.
You’re still lying in the same position while she’s pacing and calling the town’s services, getting frustrated and confused from time to time. She’s frantic, blinking quick and voice shaky. You understand it, you do—neither of you have accepted fully what just transpired.
“Els,” you breathe, voice shaking.
She didn’t hear you, too focused on the call, so you reach for her with whatever energy you had left—desperate. Ellie breaks, crying despite being on the call.
“Yeah, thank you. I’ll be here until they show,” is the last thing she says before hanging up.
She gathers you into her, holding you ever so gently. She surrounds you, and you’ve never felt safer. You turn her suit dark from your deep, full-body sobs.
“I love you,” she whispers, sounding like she too had been crying just as hard as you, “I love you so much, you’re safe. I’ll always find you.”
You’re still trembling in her hold when the cops arrive, grasping tightly onto her and her you. After the medics offically check you over and treat your minor wounds—you’re dismissed from the scene.
Ellie takes you with her into the air, arm wrapped around you as she swings you back to her apartment. Your apartment would be an issue for a later time, but for now—there’s no energy to deal with that. She lands you two on the fire exit before opening the window and stepping down first to guide you in behind her.
Her mask and suit have been tossed off, instead replaced by other clothes. Shes moved slow, keeping you close as she takes it off. Once in normal clothes, she’s reaching for your hand and you take it eagerly—guiding you to her bed. Her rooms dark, only light coming from the moonlight casting from the windows behind her bed.
She guides you to lay beside her, blanket thrown on top of the both of you. It’s warm. It’s the first warmth you’ve felt since the other night. Oh that started you on a spiral. Ellie noticed, taking in how your expression falters.
“I’m so sorry.”
You cry so hard after that you have to press the back of your hands into your eyes, chest heaving. Ellie pulls you even closer if possible, melting the two of you into one. She’s so concerned, worried, scared, hurt, angry.
“Stop, please. Stop tearing yourself up, you’ve no reason to. You should be mad at me.”
“I can’t,” you hiccup, gripping onto her hands, “I can’t even be mad at you. I love you so much.”
Ellie crumbles, leaning in to leave a kiss on your cheek. She was testing the waters then, gaging how much you could take at the moment—and that little kiss sparked a passion. You leaned in, this time to connect your lips fully. Ellie met you where you were, warm fingers rubbing your hands.
“I love you,” you mumble, words muffled from your inability to keep your lips off her. She brushed a hand on your cheek, angling your face to kiss you deeper. You take it with need, you take everything she gives you like you’re starving.
She places a few kisses along your jaw, “I love you more.”
She ends up straddling you, legs on either side of your body. Her hair tickles your face from where she’s hovered on top. Each time she pulls back a little, you feel your heart skip a beat snd you’re pulling her closer. She minds none of it, needing it just as much as you.
Your breathing quickens when she kisses down your body, attention laser focused on your every little reaction. After a nod, she’s removing the shorts on your body. They fall somewhere in the room along with the rest of your guy’s clothes. Her naked body plus the blanket over the two of you was akin to a barrier against the world.
She works you open, fingers circling inside you and pressing against the spot that turns your mind into nothing. With everything heightened, you’re sensitive. You’re moaning into the void, and it’s a raw sound. She’s here, on top of you, touching you. Her naked body slides on yours, chests colliding and touching. She brings you to the edge fast, having only touching your sensitive clit a few times and pumping her fingers against that spot.
You gasp, lips parting from your kiss with her. She pants, eyes locked deep into yours.
“You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me,” she says, wrapping her body around you, “never will any of this happen again.”
You keep her where she lays, tears forming yet again. This time you keep it silent, trying not to disturb her again but she knows you too well. She stays awake for a long time, laying beside but also on top of you. She can’t bring herself to sleep that night, she’s too anxious. Your breathing eventually evens out, body having a drop after being on adrenaline for too long. The entire night Ellie lays with you, rubbing your hip and holding onto you tightly.
Once you offically begin to stir around late morning the next day, you wake up in a panicked state.
“I’m right here,” she says with such gentleness, grip on you a tight reminder of her presence.
You shift closer, “shower with me?”
It’s like all the times before. Her body sliding behind you and under the warm water. She hugs you, kissing your neck and shoulder.
“Why’ve you never told me about being spiderman?”
“I was told not to, that I couldn’t tell anyone because nobody could be trusted.”
“So they were right about you not trusting me.”
You didn’t mean to have that tone with her, it just came spewing out. She doesn’t take it personally whatsoever, just leaning to press her lips to your shoulder again.
“I absolutely trust you. I just didn’t wish to go against my boss essentially. I was at a loss, I’ve been wanting to tell you since day one.”
She turns you until you face her. Just seeing her, having her like this again—fuck, just seeing her was enough to make you bawl all over again.
“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
“Please stop apologizing, you’ve done nothing wrong.”
“You saved my life and I’m—“
You couldn’t finish it due to crying again. Your legs had grown weak after, buckling from the weight. The two of you ended up together on the bathtub floor, Ellie holding and guiding the two of you towards the floor. She was behind you, her legs opened so you could lay between them. Her arms were around your midsection, holding onto your hands.
“What can you do as a spiderman?”
“Shoot webs, climb buildings, get senses for things going on around me, save you.”
You hum, savoring the feeling of her soft repetitive kisses on your neck.
“I also tell funny jokes.”
“You don’t need your other identity to do that.”
You twist uncomfortably for a moment to kiss her. Even in this situation you’re the most beautiful person she’s ever seen. Teary eyes, cuts along your body, bruises on your cheek. You were beautiful.
“I love you,” she says for the hundredth time since coming back home. One usually assumes the more something is said, the less value it holds—but with her confessions, you crave for the next time she says it each time. It holds the same response from you.
You kiss her again for longer, everything fading away as you’re here in her arms—“I love you more.”
#spiderverse!ellie#spiderman!ellie#spider!ellie#ellie williams#ellie tlou#ellie x reader#ellie the last of us#ellie#ellie williams x reader#ellie williams smut#ellie x fem reader#ellie x y/n#ellie x f!reader#ellie x fem!reader#ellie x female reader#ellie x you#ellie fluff#ellie fanfic#ellie fic#ellie williams x you#ellie williams fluff#ellie williams fic#ellie williams fanfic#ellie williams fanfiction#tlou ellie williams#ellie williams tlou#ellie willams x reader#ellie williams x f!reader#ellie williams x fem!reader#ellie williams x female reader
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fly little bird, fly
Warnings: Reader gets injured, (that’s all I can think of lol)
Rio Vidal x Female reader
Words written: 2.2k
Chapter 1 : The Bird Flew Astray
1680
Darting through the woods away from Witch Hunters was the last thing you thought you’d be doing on a day like this, but alas you had to settle for it. You didn’t mean for this to happen, but someone from the village had caught you shapeshifting and reported it.
You had managed to escape your home through the window in your bedroom— but that didn’t last long, being as one of the townspeople had been walking around the outback. It was right there that you bolted, your navy dress rippling in the wind behind you.
You mutated yourself into a deer, your hooves thudding against the earth as you drove deeper and faster. It was an integral choice, better to help you drive further away than to draw back. Gunshots wrung the air around you, your heart pounding in your ears.
Of course, they knew it was you, the only deer out this time and day. There was no going back now, you couldn’t relive the moment, so you drove onward. Hoping that god or satin save your soul. Another gunshot wrung out, this time accompanied by arrows that flung past and overhead— and then, just as you focused your attention back on the path you were taking, a cobblestone wall, could be made out. You took your chance at the last second and before you could do so much as run into it, you shape-shifted into a bird— more specifically, the only bird you could think of at the moment. A swan. And flew upwards, into the sky, your wings working hard and overtime.
You could already feel the drastic change the shifting was taking on your body, the strain in your muscles. The way your wings began to quiver, but you pushed on. Flying higher and higher into the sky, over trees and land.
But still, the hunters pursued you— because you were a witch and they wanted you dead. You had known of the hunters close by, but you had never feared them, not until now. You could hear them from below, shooting up into the sky, calling out ‘Come back here, you devil.’ But you ignored them.
You knew you were a mistake— a mismatch in the very existence. You were never meant to be on earth or anywhere really, but here you were. It had taken you years to understand that, but no less did it ache your heart. Nobody wanted you, because you were everything that wasn’t human and everything that wasn’t human, didn’t want you.
You were not supposed to be here, walking the earth like it owed you when all you did was disguise yourself into something you weren’t. But that’s all you knew, you weren’t made, you were forged. You were a child of the devil, and someone had raised you from the fiery pit of hell.
You swiveled around arrows, dodging bullets and trying everything in your power to survive. One strike and that’s all it took to send you right back to your home away from home, one piercing bullet that would kill you in an instant. You may have been a shapeshifter, but that did not make you immortal. You would die one day just like everyone else, it just may take a little longer than most average human life. Being a shapeshifter meant you outlived your offspring, like you did. You had a sister once, but she had gotten herself killed. She was a witch, not you, but different. The hunters burned her at the stake. You weren’t close to her, so seeing her die didn’t have much of an effect on you.
Though you later mourned her, that was because you realized how utterly alone in the world you were. You got used to the feeling, but still every once in a while you felt an ache. A yearning to be seen, to be wanted. To feel an embrace so warm and welcoming— to understand that being different was okay and not wrong.
A sudden movement from below shooting up at you and piercing your skin grasps your attention. Being all caught up in your head had caused exactly what you feared, and now you were paying the price. Your wings twinged and then you were falling, panic gripped you suddenly and you desperately tried to get a grip and stop yourself from hitting the ground, but your wings wouldn’t budge, the pain shooting a hot shard of white pain down your back.
You heard the sound of cheering a distance away from the hunters and you were met with the sight of trees. The air shifting around you, suddenly to cool and dank. When your body collided with the ground, the pain only seemed to grow and suddenly you heard a tree branch snap and the sound of footprints. You tried to move, but your body hurt all over. You tried again, getting ahold of yourself, still in bird form, and managed to flip up onto your palmates, gripping the ground from falling over and looking around you for a hiding place. A sigh of relief washed over you when your eyes made contact with an underbrush— you bolted for it and tangled yourself with the plants surrounding it— taking advantage of your size to better hide yourself.
The hunters walked down the path and stopped, looking around for you. When they didn’t see any sight of you, they continued walking along. You stayed where you were for a few minutes longer, scared that if you made any noise, they would come back.
You slowly came out but stayed close enough to the underbrush in case the hunters came back. You don’t know how long you stayed there for when you heard a door opening in the distance, you looked up, and a green hooded figure came into view. You scrambled back into the underbrush, but not before her voice boomed out.
“Who’s there?”
Before you could so much as move to hide, the woman rounds a tree and locks eyes with your swan. Your breath catches in your throat as you take in the mysterious green-clothed woman. She asses you, then cocks her head to one side, squinting, and looks to your injured wing.
“I know you’re not a sawn,” she says. “So you can turn back.”
You hesitate— how did she know? She rolls her eyes at you. Then adds, “There not going to see you, there’s a rune around this house that makes you invisible to the human eye.”
You ever so slowly allow yourself to come back to your human form and when you do, you realize that you are naked. You go to cover yourself with your arms, only to remember one of your arms is injured. You look down at your injured arm, you have an arrow between your ulna and radius. You feel sick looking at the sight and swallow, looking away and back to the woman.
She’s looking at you with peculiar interest as if she’s trying to figure you out. You look away again, shivering, your dark messy hair coming out of its bun and spilling over your shoulders.
She breaks the silence with an aggravated huff, “Are you mute?”
You shake your head and whisper, “I….” but nothing comes out.
“You’re an interesting, little thing, aren’t you?” she says quietly, then comes closer.
You tense as she nears. She must sense your uneasiness because she’s whispering next, “I won’t hurt you, I just want to see.”
She looks you in the eyes as she squats down in front of you and asks softly again, “Can I?”
She motions her head to your injured arm, you nod and release a shaky breath when her hands gently come to yours, lifting it to inspect the damage, you whimper in pain.
“You took quite the fall back there baby, I’m honestly surprised you’re still alive,” she says, looking back up to your face.
A hand comes up to brush away the tendrils of hair that had fallen out of your bun, her eyes tracing every curve she can find on your face.
“How did this happen?” she asks.
You swallow and stutter, “S— Someone from my village caught me changing form.”
The woman scowls gently, “You’ve got to be careful, sweetheart. These people could kill you.”
“You think?” You snap, then look away, ashamed of your outburst.
“Sorry,” you murmur.
Her lips twitch up into a sly grin, “No need. You’ve been through a lot today, how about I take care of your little…” she ponders on her words. “misfortunate run in.”
Your lips quirk up at that— you nod and she pulls back just enough to remove her cape from her body and pull around your shivering form. When her skin makes contact with yours though, a jolt of energy runs down your back, gripping at the very essence of your life. You lock eyes with her and for a second you see her eyes flicker with something that you don’t understand until she moves to help you stand.
You get up onto your feet and wince as the blood rushes down into your toes, every fiber of your being aching from driving yourself too hard. She grips your shoulder tightly, steadying you as you move to take the first step— you feel yourself falling before your brain manages to catch up, but luckily for you, the woman catches you before you can hit the ground.
“Careful,”
You take in a shaking breath, nodding your head, and move to walk again. This time though one of her hands is holding your waist.
She leads you slowly to her little cobblestone house and opens the door— and you are grateful for the heat that clashes with your shivering cold form. You take in your surroundings as she moves to shut the door after getting you inside.
The space is small, the ceiling overhead, whirling with moss, that seems to grow with the exterior of the cobblestone. You bring your head down to look around your surroundings, between the space of her kitchen is a rocking chair by the fire and a bed settling up against the wall in the corner closest to a fireplace.
She leads you to the bed, settling you down before heading for the kitchen. She grabs a basin filled with water and a rag, turns back to you, and walks the distance to you. She settles down and moves to dig the rag into the water.
She looks back up to you and reaches for your arm. You flinch when the cool water touches your skin, but her grip seems to tighten.
“You’re a rare kind of witch, you know?” she says. “I’ve never seen or met a shapeshifter before.”
You swallow, “There aren’t any others out there.”
She locks eyes with yours, “What’s your story?”
“I don’t have one.”
She snorts. “Everyone’s got a story.”
You hesitate and look away. “There’s nothing much about me.”
Sympathy flashes in the woman’s eyes before she diverts her attention to the wound. “Can I at least get a name?”
“It’s Y\N,”
“Hmmmmm…. makes sense for such a pretty girl.” she winks at you.
You blush and look down at your lap, “What’s yours?”
“I’m Rio,” she says.
“Thank you, Rio,” you say softly. “For helping me. Rarely, I’m ever given such attention.”
For a moment, she pauses her work on your arm and looks back up at you. Her eyes squinted, studying you, but there was also a familiarity within them— an understanding. You feel suddenly drawn to her. You think that it’s because you’ve been alone for so long that now, potentially, you could just be desperate. But you then realize it’s something deeper, something so warm and fuzzy, you wish to know what the feeling is, you try to pinpoint it on every map in your head, only to come back empty.
It’s gone just as fast as it appeared, she looks back down to your arm and shifts it to get a better angle, propping it up with some pillows.
“I have an idea, do you trust me?” she asked.
You squinted, but replied wearily, “Yes.”
She smiled softly and lifted her hands. In a circular motion over the arrow, you see it begin to glow a dark green. Though it was still in your skin, you could almost feel as if it was shifting, but oddly enough, it wasn’t hurting.
“It’s a healing spell,” Rio says before you can ask. “Most witches use them with injuries. It mends skin and fights infection. In your case, it’s dissolving the metal.”
Your eyes widen and you look back up at her, “How is that even possible?”
She smirks at you and replies wittily, “Magic, baby.”
When you look back down, the arrow is gone. You turned your arm over and back in pure shock. You glance back up to Rio and she watches you with curiosity.
“You haven’t practiced much magic, haven’t you?”
You sigh. “I’ve had nobody to teach me, I’ve only ever had myself.”
“I can teach you.”
Your eyes widen, “Ooh no, you don’t have to—“
“I want to.”
You clamp your mouth shut.
“—But,” Rio started up, “it’ll cost you.”
You furrow your brows and ask, “What?”
“I’ll need something from you, something only you can give me.”
You swallow, your breath catching in your throat. “What do I give?”
“Yourself.”
“What?”
“Be mine.”
You contemplated her offer— you had been alone for years, and now here came Rio asking you to be hers. But at what cost? And why? You suppose it didn’t matter, after all, you were desperate.
She wanted you.
She wanted you.
“I give myself to you, Rio.”
She smiles slightly, “Please, call me, Lady Death.”
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Keep Out
Summary: modern!Aemond takes his girlfriend home with him for the semester break over summer. He had already forgotten that he barely got any peace and quiet in his old room.
Wordcount: 1.717
Warnings: tiny smuttish part, but also not really, mentions of an unwanted lap dance, lots and lots of fluff
Present
They heard something rumbling loudly against the door. "Urgh. Fuck. Aemond?" shouted Aegon through the door.
(Y/n) laughed silently and shook an equally smirking Aemond, who was lying on her stomach.
2 months before
Aemond was unusually nervous for his ratio. He had never brought anyone home before. It was unusual. He felt strangely naked, as she paced around his room, looking at the books and posters from his school days.
When a grin appeared on her face, he knew immediately what was coming.
"Aha!" She pulled the CD case from the shelf and held it up triumphantly. "I knew it!",she grinned at him.
He just rolled his eyes and put the My Chemical Romance CD back in its place. "Behave.", was all he said.
Her smile softened. Her arms gently wrapped around his neck and pulled him in for a soft kiss.
"Close the door! Would you?", they heard someone laugh. None other than Aegon stood in the doorway and grinned at them both. "We don't want mummy to think you're promiscuous."
"Wow. That was a difficult word for you.", Aemond replied in a calm voice, but (Y/n) could see the tension in his jaw.
"At least I'm not a twenty-year-old virgin.", Aegon rolled his eyes and walked away again.
(Y/n) scratched his neck reassuringly. "So this is Aegon?"
He grumbled in agreement, annoyed.
"You exaggerated a bit with his hair. I was almost expecting a half bald head.", she turned his mind to another topic, knowing full well that he was largely uncomfortable with the subject of sex.
"You didn't see him after rehab. He was close."
She laughed lightly.
He lay relaxed on the bed. (Y/n) half beneath him. His head lay on her chest and he savoured the delicate fingers, as they ran over his scalp and through his long strands.
Sleeptoken was playing softly in the background, but he focussed more on her heartbeat, which he could now hear so clearly.
His eyes had fallen shut at the caresses, his breathing was calm and deep.
Everything was beautiful. Everything was good. Everything-
"Aemond we - Oh sorry."
Both their gazes shot in the direction of the roughly flung open door. His mum stood in the doorway, a little embarrassed. "We'll order something from the Italian. Please come downstairs... And put a shirt on Aemond!"
He dropped his face into the crook of her neck and groaned in annoyance. "I should have taken a hotel.", he grumbled.
She kissed his temple. "Just locking up is cheaper, I think."
"We don't have to.", she explained quietly.
Aemond shook his head. "I want to try it.", he admitted, still looking nervous. "But only on you for now.", he confessed quickly.
She stroked his hair. "Okay."
"You sure?"
She nodded with a smile.
Aemond cleared his throat. He had come a long way since he was a boy and a teenager, but the memory of that night was still so present.
Aegon had dragged him along to his birthday. He doesn't know what he'd expected, but it hadn't been a stripper.
He and his friends had cheered her on as she danced on Aemonds lap. He had never felt so overwhelmed und uncomfortable. The fact that he had come in his pants less than two minutes later had, of course, taken the mockery to the extreme.
They had bawled and Aemond had simply run away until he could lock himself in the bathroom, where he washed himself three times in a row in an attempt to wash off the shame.
"Hey." He felt her hand on his cheek. He pulled himself from his memory. "It's just me here. No one else." She smiled so warmly at him again. And she was right. The rest of his family was gone tonight, except for Haelena. But she rarely left her bugs voluntarily anyway.
He nodded, but still buried his face briefly on her shoulder. "Can I?," he asked, stroking her waistband with his fingers.
She nodded with a smile.
He carefully slipped his hand under the elasticated fabric and immediately came across the top of her panties. He looked at her questioningly again. She simply nodded. His fingers travelled deeper. He felt light stubble and took in the slightly scratchy feeling beneath his fingertips. He drew a few exploratory circles.
"Does that bother you?", she asked a little hesitantly, but he immediately shook his head.
"Not at all."
He let his fingers wander deeper until he felt what he was looking for. He groped around a little awkwardly and blindly. Searching for what he had already read about. She tenderly pushed her hand towards his. Grasped his fingers and brought them into position. She calmly showed him how to move them. He followed her with concentration.
She sighed slightly and withdrew her hand again. He tried himself out. Experimented. Memorised what caused which reaction.
And he realised, that this was okay. It was even kind of nice. It was-
The door to his room opened again. Helaena poked her head into the room. She didn't pay any attention to the situation of the two of them, frantically trying to present themselves in a more socially acceptable manner.
"Helaena!", shouted Aemond reprovingly.
She looked absolutely neutral in return. "Have you seen my Tarantula? She's run off."
"Your what?", asked (Y/n) immediately in alarm.
"My Tarantula. She-"
"Rethorical question.", explained Aemond immediately. "And no."
"Okay."
The door closed again.
"Please tell me that Tarantula is the name of your cat."
"Don't worry about it. The creature is ancient. It probably just turned to dust."
"Found her!", Heelena shouted from the corridor.
"Great.", Aemond called back, only slightly annoyed.
(Y/n) was still sitting tensely on his bed. "What do you say we-"
"Chinese or Thai?" he asked.
"Chinese."
"I'll just wash my hands and get the car.", he explained and stood up humbly. Would he ever have a quiet evening in this house?
"I love you.", she called after him tensely.
"Love you too.", he called back with a sigh.
They made out violently. She was sitting on his old desk and had her legs wrapped around his hips like a snake.
His centre kept twitching slightly forward. His family was gone, even his sister, and the damn door was locked.
Aemond pressed himself against her even more than he already did. His hands wandered under her top. His lips broke away from hers and travelled to her neck. He was ready. He was sure. He felt comfortable with her. He wanted this.
"To bed?", he asked, slightly out of breath.
She nodded eagerly. "Please.", she sighed. He lifted her from the table and carried her towards the bed. She took off her own top and threw it somewhere. He did the same.
She was already sitting down on the mattress and pushed herself into the middle of it, when Aemond tried to get out of his trousers.
He lay down on top of her. Their lips met. He sighed, when he felt her hands on his bare back.
He was just sliding his hands into the waistband of her trousers when he heard the click of the lock. He frantically threw half of the blanket over (Y/n) to cover her body as his grandfather stood in the doorway.
He looked at them both in astonishment.
"Excuse me.", he nodded briefly to (Y/n). "Otto Hightower. The grandfather." He introduced himself impassively.
"Hello." (Y/n) waved back, overwhelmed.
"You still have my encyclopaedia.", he explained, turning to Aemond.
He looked at him perplexed. "Couldn't you have just called me?"
Otto just raised an eyebrow. "The book, Aemond.", he demanded.
Aemond stood up angrily, took the book from the shelf and pressed it into his grandfather's hand.
"Could we have some privacy now, please?"
Otto just waved him off. "But don't get her pregnant. We don't need any more complaints like your brother's."
He didn't even look at them again. He simply left the house.
Aemond breathed in and out in a controlled manner.
He turned round with a jerk and pulled his trousers back on.
"Aemond, it's all-"
"Get dressed. We're driving."
"Driving? Where?"
"To a hotel.", he explained curtly and held out her top.
(Y/n) looked at him in surprise. "So we're not stopping?", she asked, half teasingly, half cheerfully.
Aemond looked at her insistently. "Not if you don't want to."
She smiled. "Let's go then."
The night was mild. Mild enough that they didn't try to put as much distance between them as possible. Just touching fingers or knuckles.
No. Aemond had snuggled up to her chest and (Y/n) held him in a relaxed grip.
They both lingered in the land of dreams, knowing that the door was locked and the key was still in it.
They had had their peace and quiet all evening. No one had gotten on their nerves. Aemond had snuggled up to her as he usually only did in his own flat. A place where no one could go without his permission. The key in the lock wasn't the highend security system in his flat, but it reassured him enough.
Even in his dreams, he still had the feeling that he had finally triumphed when he was suddenly and rudely torn from this world.
A loud, breaking sound rang out. The sound crashed into the room like a bang.
And with the noise, Aegon smashed in too.
"Oaaa! Fuck!", he exclaimed, annoyed, then he laughed clearly drunk.
Aemond and (Y/n) immediately sat upright in bed. (Y/n) looked perplexed at Aegon.
Aemond looked at the hole in the wall that had once been his door, now lying as splinters of wood on the floor.
"I didn't get the curve.", Aegon laughed, still on the floor. "Sorry little brother."
Present
"Stable.", (Y/n) stated, when she had her laughter under control again.
"Steel core with a security lock. Standard for banks.", explained Aemond relaxed.
He firmly grabbed her hand, which she had withdrawn during her fit of laughter, and put it back on his head.
"Don't stop.", he just sighed and closed his eye again. A slight smile played around his lips.
She kissed the top of his head with a smile and complied.
#aemond targaryen#aemond one eye#hotd fanfic#modern!aemond#aemond x reader#aemond targaryen x reader#hotd aemond#aemond targaryen x you#fluff#aemond targaryen fluff
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No Backing Out | Daryl Dixon x Fem!Reader
Summary: When you told Daryl you were pregnant, he vowed to himself he would be there for you throughout everything. However, when Daryl got a message over the radio that your water had broken, and he wasn’t anywhere near the community, his heart dropped, and he raced back towards the safe zone, his only hope being that you hadn’t been forced to go through everything alone.
Genre: Slightly angsty/fluffy.
Era: Alexandria, set post Saviour arc.
Warnings: Mentions of labour and child birth.
Word count: 1k.
A/N: I don’t know what this is. I had this idea of Daryl nearly missing his child’s birth and (very poorly) executed it. I’m sorry this sucks, but I hope this is still somewhat enjoyable.
With a loud, deafening screech, the rusted gates of the safe zone rolled open, allowing the approaching blue vehicle to drive into the safety of the community’s walls. The car barely had time to come to a stop within the gated community before the door of the vehicle was flung open. Daryl scrambled to get out of the vehicle, nearly falling to the ground in his haste, and took off in a sprint. He accidentally dropped his beloved crossbow on the gravel, but he didn’t even realize. His only concern was getting to your shared home, to you. He just hoped he wasn’t too late.
He just hoped his mission beyond the walls with Rick hadn’t cost him being there for the birth of his child.
The message that Carol had relayed to Daryl and Rick over the radio still rung clear in his mind. ‘Y/N’s water broke’. That message had Daryl regretting ever leaving your side that morning in the first place. He should have told Rick to take someone else instead. If he had, then he wouldn’t be running down the streets of Alexandria, praying to whatever entity was listening that he wasn’t too late.
Your shared home came into view, and Daryl picked up the pace. Even when running from walkers, Daryl had never run quite as fast as he was at that moment. Each moment he slowed to catch his breath could potentially lead to you having to go through everything alone, if you hadn’t already gone through everything alone. He really hoped you hadn’t. He would feel like the lowest piece of shit on earth if he had missed it.
He ran up the porch steps, taking three steps at a time. He flung the front door open, the wood crashing against the wall, but Daryl didn’t care. A hole in the wall could be fixed. Missing the birth of his child couldn’t.
Daryl opened his mouth to call out to Carol, but the woman—who had been keeping in contact with Rick and had gotten the message that Daryl was on his way—rushed down the stairs. Her eyes locked onto Daryl’s, and she gave him a warm, albeit strained, smile.
Daryl’s heart practically pounded against his ribcage. “Has she—”
“No,” Carol cut him off, a small chuckle escaping her, though she wasn’t entirely sure why. “No, she hasn’t. But she’s about to any moment.”
That was all the confirmation the archer needed. Without needing to be pushed to do so, Daryl pressed past the Peletier woman, rushing up the stairs to get to the bedroom you were in. He flung the door open—the third door that day—and stepped into the room, his eyes wide. Daryl could vaguely make out two other figures in the room, those of Michonne and Siddiq, but his main focus was on you; more so on the pained expression on your face.
You looked up at Daryl, relief instantly noticable on your tear-streaked face. “Daryl...” you trailed off in a soft whisper, quietly calling for your archer to be with you, to reassure you that everything would be okay. You needed his comfort.
In one swift movement, Daryl made his way over to your side. He sat down on the bed, one of his hands immediately finding its place in yours. His other arm wrapped around your shoulders when you rested your head against his shoulder. “M’here, sweet girl,” he mumbled into your hair, placing a soft kiss to the top of your head. “M’so sorry I wasn’t here.” From the corner of his eye, he could see Michonne slip out of the room, and Carol walking inside and towards Siddiq.
“It’s okay. You’re here now,” you told him, sending him a smile, one that was strained due to the overwhelming pain that flooded through your body. You sat forward, out of his embrace, and let out a small cry, screwing your eyes shut in an attempt to will the pain away.
Daryl’s eyebrows furrowed together. He rubbed soothing circles over your back, and he pressed another kiss to the top of your head. “M’here. I got ya. Yer doin’ so good, Sweetheart.”Your exhausted body fell back against Daryl’s chest. Your breathing was heavy and uneven, the pain in both your back and abdomen failing to cease even the slightest bit. A small whimper fell from your lips, and Daryl’s heart ached for you.
Siddiq moved forward and examined your nether area. A small smile graced the doctor’s features, and he looked up at Daryl. “Seems to me like you got here in the nick of time, Daryl.” Siddiq shifted his attention back to you, and he adapted a gentler, almost understanding smile. “You’re fully dilated, Y/N. It’s time.”
Your heart began pounding against your ribcage. Your grip on Daryl’s hand tightened considerably, fear evident on your face. “I can’t do this,” you whispered through your tears.
Daryl’s thumb rubbed soothingly over your knuckles. “Yer the strongest person I know. If there’s anyone that can do this, s’ya. Ya can do this. I know ya can. And I’mma be by yer side the whole time, alright?” When you sent him a small, grateful smile, he continued in a slightly joking tone. “‘Sides, pretty sure there ain’t no backin’ out now.”
“There’s not,” Carol commented, taking your other hand and giving it a gentle squeeze. “This baby’s coming. You’re gonna meet your little one any minute now.” Her words barely had time to register in the air. Another sharp pain shot through your abdomen, making you cry out. Carol squeezed your hand again, understanding in her eyes. “Be strong, Honey. You can do this.”
You nodded, and shared a look with Daryl. “Don’t go. I can’t do this alone.”
Daryl shook his head. “I already said I ain’t goin’ nowhere, and I mean it. M’here for ya.” He placed a tender kiss to the side of your head. “I love ya, Sweetheart. Ya got this.”
His words rung through your ears, an anchor in your otherwise turmoil of a mind. However, as another cry of pain left your chest, and Siddiq told you it was time to start pushing, you prayed that his steadfast belief in you wasn’t misplaced.
#krys writes .ೃ࿐#daryl dixon#daryl dixon x reader#the walking dead#twd daryl#daryl x reader#daryl dixon fanfiction#daryl dixon x female reader#daryl dixon imagine#daryl dixon the walking dead#the walking dead daryl#daryl fanfiction#daryl#daryl x you#daryl x female reader#daryl x y/n#daryl dixon fan fiction#daryl dixon fanfic#daryl dixon x y/n#daryl dixon x you#daryl dixon x pregnant reader
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Forbidden Fruit
Summary: Luke has taken a liking to a certain Dionysus girl that he just can't have, but maybe he can change that.
Warnings!: Super fluffy Over protective father, Fem!Dionysus! Reader, happy ending! Pushing loser!Luke agenda...
A/n: I'm trying something new, this is written from my laptop rather than my phone. I think I type faster on here for sure. I really hope that there is no like, difference in the formats and what not. Anyways carry on, hope you enjoy this one :3. - Leafy p.s part 2 is out now!😋😋
Luke watched as you sat at the Dionysus table with your twin brothers and Mr. D. You were so beautiful, the way your hair fell back as you were laughing at something one of your older brothers said.
"Dude, if you want her so bad, then just. I don't know? Talk to her maybe? You look like a creep just staring at her all of the time." Chris said as he flung a piece of broccoli towards Luke.
"Dude! You know I can't that's Mr. D's only daughter, plus she's got two big line backer brothers that'll probably beat me to pulp if I ever did try anything." Luke sighed, looking back at his plate pushing his food around hopelessly.
"Or...maybe, you can just ask Mr. D if you could have her hand?" Chris had suggested. "Besides, the worse he can say is no...and maybe give you bathroom cleaning duty." Chris said.
"Yeah right. He'd probably give me worse." Luke joked. Chris laughed. As he looked back up to look at you again, just to admire you, you were already staring at him. You guys had made eye contact for about .2 seconds before you had already turned back down to your food.
Maybe he had a chance....
"No. Absolutely not." Mr. D said to a very sad Luke now.
"But come on Mr. D, what harm is one date, I'll treat her really well." Luke pleaded with the god, after all, gods love the sound of begging.
"How about-" Mr. D was cut off by a voice Luke knew all to well,
"Hey daddy? Oh." Y/n had stopped at the entry way of Mr. D's office. "Hey Luke," She said timidly, with a slight blush tinting her cheeks.
"Hi Y/n." Luke said with a shy smile.
"No! No! Absolutely not. Luke, I do not give you permission to date or take out, or do anything at all with my daughter.
"But sir-" Luke was cut off, Y/n really had a tendency to cutting people off, it wasn't like it was on purpose.
"But daddy! Why not! Luke's a sweet guy, I've been waiting for him to ask me out for months!" Y/n whined to her dad. She was the baby of her family, and it showed, but what she said about Luke asking her out caught Luke off guard. Had she known about him liking her all of this time? The answer was yes, although Luke was very charming, he wasn't very slick about his feelings of Y/n.
"Sweetheart, please, no boy will ever be good enough for my daughter, and he sure isn't going to be good enough for you but I love the enthusiasm." Mr. D sarcastically remarked.
"Daddy pleaseeee, just give him a chance? For me? I really like him." Y/n pouted and gave her father the best puppy eyes she could. Luke didn't dare to say a word. This was a family discussion. The two stared at each other, almost like a staring contest. Luke could see it in Mr. D's eyes, he was cracking to his daughters pleas. Mr. D let out a sigh.
"Fine!" Mr. D exclaimed. "You two can...date." He said enunciating the word "date" with malicious diction. Y/n exclaimed clapping her hands
"Thank you daddy!" She said as she hugged him and gave him a big smooch on the cheek.
"Thank you sir I-" Luke was cut off again. What is up with these two and cutting people off?
"Yeah Yeah whatever. But I swear to my chair on Olympus, if i hear a little sliver of news that you hurt my babygirl, I can't do anything to you, but her older brothers can." Mr. D reminded Luke.
"Yes sir I," He looked at Y/n who was now beside him and interlocked his hand with hers. She smiled at him. "I won't ever hurt her" Luke stated with confidence.
"Okay, you have my blessing..to take out my daughter." Mr. D reluctantly agreed. The two teenagers with both smiling madly now. "Now get out of here before I change my mind!" He yelled.
"Wait Daddy before I go" Y/n looked her dad in her eyes. "Can you summon me a diet coke? That's what I came here for" She said giggling. Mr. D sighed as a diet coke can popped up in his hands. He handed it to her and gave her a kiss on the forehead. After all, he could never say no to his baby girl.
As the couple walked out of The Big House hand in hand, Y/n came to a stop once they got far enough from the listening ears of her father. "So, what's this talk about this date you want to take me on?" Y/n asks Luke. "Well, I didn't really think I would actually get to his point..." Luke admits.
"Well then, pick me up from my Cabin at 7:00 and have something planned. I'll be waiting." Y/n said as she let go of his hand, and tip toed to kiss his cheek, specifically on his scar. "I'll see you then" She giggled after she saw Luke's state.
He was completely red in the face, and shocked. Y/n just shook her head side to side as she walked away. Luke watched her walk away with a hand on the place where she had so gently kissed him. Boy he really hated to see her leave, but he loved to watch her go. This woman is really going to be the death of me...He thought as he watched her figure get smaller, and smaller. Well, he better get to planning.
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Neighbors With Benefits: Part 1 (Joel Miller x f!reader)
Part of the #hotdilfsummerchallenge (I will be adding more and tag the Masterlist) Thank you @hellishjoel for putting on this contest. It's a lot of fun!
Pairing: Joel Miller x f!reader
Word count: Roughly 5000
Warning: Dilfy smut, age gap (23 & 42)
Mid-June, 2024. The first summer back home upon college graduation. You knew there would be an adjustment period and while you didn't necessarily feel unhappy, there was a strangeness that left you with feelings you couldn't quite pinpoint. This was your childhood home, your hometown, your room - but still, somehow it felt foreign.
You hung up the maroon cap and gown that showed off the primary color of Texas A+M, the college where you had spent the last four years studying your ass off to get a degree in criminal justice. At twenty-three years old after spending the last few years in a little off-campus apartment with some friends, you were feeling both aggravated and nostalgic upon returning to your parents' house in the suburbs. They were great and you got along just fine; but the freedoms that had gone along with renting your own place were now reeled in a bit tighter. At the very least you knew your mother would likely stay awake on the nights you were out late. Still, you appreciated how much they cared about you.
You moved to your bedroom window and flung it open to let in some air to get rid of the stuffiness that lingered in the house. Immediately, your eyes landed on a man next door standing behind a grill as smoke filtered up above him in a faint, little cloud. He flipped a burger with a pair of metal tongs and took a sip from what looked like a bottle of beer.
"Hey, honey."
You jumped at your mother's voice as if you'd been caught doing something wrong. "Hey." You pressed your eyebrows together and motioned out the window as she entered the room. "Who's that?"
"Oh, I guess it never came up in conversation," your mother said with a shrug, "That's our new neighbor. He moved in back in January."
You glanced back out the window.
"He’s a bit too old for you,” she teased with a laugh.
You whipped around and made a face. "I'm not... I'm not checking him out. I'm just asking why there's a stranger in the Wilsons' backyard." You smirked and raised your eyebrows, "Maybe if my mother told me things I wouldn't have to play detective."
"Isn't that what you got your degree in criminal justice for?"
You chuckled, knowing she would most certainly outwit you in a verbal battle. "And I'm 23 years old. No one's too old for me anymore."
"Well, in that case I hear they just built a nice, new nursing home down the road with plenty of widowed men. I can drive you there if you'd like."
You let out a hearty laugh. “I’ll pass."
The two of you giggled and your mother continued, "Will you be joining your father and I for dinner tonight? We were thinking of just going to Chili's and then heading to a play at the little theater downtown. The kids are putting on Grease."
You smiled as your phone vibrated with a text from your best friend. "It's Holly."
"So, I guess the answer is going to be no," your mother suspected. She smirked and got the hint. “Keep in touch.”
"Okay," you agreed and then cleared your throat when she turned to go. "Mom, what's his name?"
"Huh?"
"The neighbor," you went on, "I should probably introduce myself since I'm going to be a resident of 45 Harding Drive again."
"Joel," her mother replied, "Joel Miller."
Your parents left soon after and so you wandered out to the back steps, waiting for them to take off first before popping open a beer. The ice cold beverage tasted better than normal because of the incoming summer heat that was supposed to really strike the following morning. With a content sigh, you leaned your elbows back on the top step of the set of four that led from the back door into the oversized backyard.
"Jennifer?" a deep, scratchy voice made you jump for the second time that night. You put a hand on your chest and glanced off to the side when you realized a man had called out your mother's name.
The neighbor, you thought, feeling your stomach knot up.
You cleared your throat and rose to your feet, leaving the beer on the top step. "No… I’m (Y/N)." You took a few steps in his direction though he made his way almost all the way to the steps.
"(Y/N)?" His features became clear when he stepped into a small, back light beside the door. The man flashed a friendly, boyish grin from beneath a trim beard. "Tim and Jen’s daughter?"
You looked down sheepishly and smiled before lifting your eyes to meet his stare. "Yeah."
He’s hot, your inner monologue informed you, as if your cheeks hadn't suddenly grown hot.
His eyes shifted to the beer and his grin widened even more before he extended a hand. "I'm Joel... your neighbor."
"Nice to meet you." You gave a closed-mouth smile and took in his appearance, consciously telling herself not to stare. His plain white t-shirt showed off his broad chest and shoulders
Joel cleared his throat. "I didn't mean to startle you."
"It's fine," you assured him and then cleared your throat, "Do you want a beer or something?"
A smirk twisted onto his face., "No thanks. I was actually just coming over to see if I could borrow some butter."
"Oh..." You glanced over your shoulder at the back door and then back to Joel.
"You don't have to," he said reassuringly, unable to keep the grin from his face. "You don't even know me yet so-"
"No.” You cut him off, "No, it's fine."
"Are you sure?" Joel's voice cut through you like a knife and he kept his eyes firmly locked on yours.
You nodded, unable to look away for a moment and then waved him inside.
"Don't forget your brew here, honey." He reached down and scooped up the beer as you flung the back door open.
You smiled again, "Thanks."
Joel nodded and followed you in, before glancing around at the modest but modern kitchen. "You, uh... you even old enough to drink this shit?" He motioned to the beer.
You rolled your eyes, "I can show you my ID if that makes you feel any better." You flung open the refrigerator, "I know my parents are going to treat me like I'm in high school again."
"Well... they're just trying to protect you," Joel said. "How old are you?"
"Twenty-three." You glanced over her shoulder at him, somewhat pleased to catch him staring - or so you thought. It prompted him to look elsewhere.
"Here." You removed a stick of butter and crossed the room to hand it to him. When the butter landed in his hand you decided to be bold and didn't immediately let it go, "How old are you?"
He chuckled before holding a wicked smirk and again held her captive with his playfully intense eyes. "How old do you think I am?"
You stared back, somewhat used to gaining control over the guys you had dated or been interested in in the past. Already, this time you felt a bit outmatched and part of it was your instant attraction to him. When Joel took one step in her direction, you swallowed hard and gave a random answer.
"Thirty-two?"
Joel laughed a little louder, putting a hand on his stomach. He ran the other hand through his messy brown hair and pointed. "You're so full of shit."
You smiled at him, "I was thinking more of thirty-eight, thirty-nine."
He sucked his teeth and gave you a look up-and-down before smiling wide again. When he didn't say anything in response you flat out asked, "Am I right?"
"Forty-two," Joel finally informed you after a long pause.
"Over the hill then?"
He snickered and then motioned to the fridge, "Ya know... I will have that beer if you don't mind."
You smiled before reopening the fridge to fetch one for him. When you placed a bottle of Bud Lite in his hand he used the counter to pop the top rather than twist it. When the dented bottle cap fell to the floor and danced in circles for a moment you glanced back up to find him continuing to stare as he took a long swig from the bottle.
Joel wiped his mouth with the back of his hand. "Your dad going to notice that a few of these are missing?"
"They're mine," you informed him, "And I'm not-"
"A kid, I know..." Joel rolled his eyes now and the two of you shared a laugh, "Believe me when you're my age you'll love that someone will accuse you of being younger."
"I'm sure I will."
He reached down and scooped up the cap from the ground and then held it out in his palm. When you went to reach for it he closed his hand and smiled playfully.
"I'll take it," Joel offered, "Don't want you to get caught drinking these things when your parents come home." He continued to tease you about your age.
"You know, I could've guessed you were fifty."
He laughed out loud. "Smart mouth on you," Joel flashed his index finger at her with the hand that held the bottle, "I like it."
You looked down and laughed again, feeling your cheeks grow hot again from his remark.
"Anyway, I should be getting back." Joel continued to smile, almost triumphantly and winked. "It was nice meeting you."
"It was nice meeting you too.”
He held your gaze for an extra second, forcing him to smirk a final time before heading out the back door.
"Thanks for the beer," he said casually, "I'll see ya around."
8:15 pm - the following evening
"Sorry I couldn't make it out last night," Holly said to you. The two of you sat side by side at barstools down at one of the local bars in town. "My boss can be a real pain in the ass sometimes."
"It's fine. I had the house to myself so I kind of just had some time to chill and binge watch some old shows."
"Sounds terrible."
You laughed and shrugged. "It was alright."
"Well, here's to... summer?" Holly raised her martini glass and you tapped her beer bottle gently against it.
"To potentially the weirdest summer of my life."
"Why's that?"
You shrugged, "I don't know. Being back home doesn't feel so 'at home' anymore."
"Give it time." Holly sipped her drink, "In a month it'll feel like you never left."
"That's what I'm afraid of."
"Hey, it's not so bad. I'm here." She smiled and raised her eyebrows, "Jill and Molly should be home within the week too. We can get the old crew back together before we all get real jobs and have to do shitty adult stuff."
"I'll drink to that," you agreed, taking a longer swig of the beer. You sighed and began to peel at the blue Bud Lite label, letting your mind drift to the night before with Joel. You envisioned him snapping the cap off the top of the beer bottle, using the counter. A smile crossed lingered on your face.
"Ooohh... someone's checking us out," Holly commented, "Or maybe they know you..." Her eyebrows pressed together and she motioned using her head toward a table in the corner of the bar.
"Oh shit." You couldn't contain your response but realized it must've sounded out of place.
"What?" Her friend asked, "Do you know him?"
"That's my neighbor," you informed her, "New neighbor."
Joel smirked and gave a wave but quickly entertained a conversation he was having with two other men at the small, corner table.
"He's kind of a Dilf."
You snickered and shrugged, unable to take your eyes off of him. When Joel glanced back in your direction you looked away and quickly took a sip of your.
"You think he's hot," Holly suspected with a laugh.
"What?" You shook your head, "No... I mean he may have some Dilf qualities or something like you just said but…” The sentence drifted off.
"Mm-hmm..." She continued to stare at her friend with playfully accusing eyes.
"Stop," you joked, "I just met him last night."
"Last night?" Holly perked up, "And..."
"And what?"
"You tell me."
You laughed again, "He came over to the house because he needed some butter."
"More like some sugar," she winked and glanced up toward a television that had a baseball game on in front of them.
You let out a hearty laugh and shook your head.
"He keeps looking over here." Holly’s voice perked out, "Oh! He's getting up," Holly whispered, stalking him for a moment with her eyes.
You glanced over and felt your stomach twist in knots when he headed in their direction.
"So you are over twenty-one," Joel cracked a wide smile and tapped the back of her chair as he continued to walk by.
"Twenty-three," you called after him, smiling wide.
He glanced over his shoulder, winking once before continuing on around a corner toward the bathrooms.
You let out a sigh and Holly turned back around.
"What the hell are you waiting for?" her friend asked. Before you could attempt to plead your case Holly went on, "He's hot... and he's totally flirting with you."
"He's not flirting with me."
"That was a Frank Sinatra-worthy wink."
You shook your head, laughing again. "Where do you come up with these things?"
"You're glowin. You're crushing on this guy. Who cares if he's your neighbor. Get on that."
"He's forty-two," you lowered your voice.
Holly raised her eyebrows and glanced toward the doorway where Joel had just walked through before returning her attention to her friend.
"Forget it." You sipped your drink and tried to pretend like you were nterested in the game on the television.
"At least admit you're crushing."
She turned to her and shook her head, "Fine... he's hot. Okay?" You focused on the screen for as long as she could and tried to pretend not to notice when Joel rounded back into the bar. You let out a deep breath as he crossed behind you and felt a rush when he came up beside you to flag down the bartender.
"Another round?" the middle-aged bartender asked, already reaching for a beer.
"Please,” Joel said with a nod, "You can put it on the tab." He turned to you, "Any interest in playing darts over here?" He nodded toward a dart board in the corner.
"Sure."
"Don't feel obligated." He forced your eyes back to his and continued to stare into them.
"I don't." You felt that intense paralysis again and couldn't turn away. When the bartender came back with the round of beers for Joel, you felt relieved and let out a breath.
"Get these two what they want," Joel added to the bartender, "Next round's on me when you finish those."
"Oh, you don't have to-"
"It's fine. I owe you one from last night." He headed back to the small table with his friends and Holly finally snapped you out of your daze.
"I thought you just gave him butter," she whispered with a giggle, "What was last night?"
You swallowed hard and rose to your feet, prompting Holly to do the same. "I offered him a beer and he took it," she said, "It was nothing... believe me. If I had anything interesting to share I would tell you."
Your legs felt heavy as you crossed the dark bar that was scattered with only a handful of other people. While the two other men began collecting darts and erasing the chalkboard to the side, Joel stood staring with his elbow on the table. For a moment everything else was in the background and you could only focus on him.
Shit... Any wit she had going for her had betrayed her. The instant, intense attraction you had to him was completely clouding your judgment. You felt like you were about to enter a wolf den, though you didn't at all mind playing the part of Little Red Riding Hood.
The anxiety-ridden feeling you had had leading up to the game of darts diminished as the night went on. You played a few games, swapping teammates several times, beginning with a 'boys versus girls' theme and then pairing off randomly when one game ended.
"He's going to fuck it up, you watch," Joel taunted as his friend lined up, closing one eye as he released the dart, only sending it clunking off the board and to the ground. "You didn't even hit the fuckin' board." His words drew laughter from everyone and the man that missed stumbled to retrieve it, chuckling as he went.
"I'm fucked up," Skip, the older robust man, remarked as he struggled to pick the dark up from the floor.
"Ya think?" Joel joked, continuing to sip on his beer.
"It's about time I get this man home to his wife and let her deal with him," the other man, Charlie, chuckled from behind a pair of alcohol-induced crimson cheeks. "Can't hold his liquor."
Skip huffed a breath and closed his eyes with a hand on his head. "The old lady's going to be mad at me. Especially when I tell her we've been hanging out with these lovely ladies." He motioned to you and Holly, laughing at himself and making the others do the same.
"I'd leave that part out if you knew what was good for ya," Charlie informed him with another laugh. "Come on Skippy. It's past your bed time."
"Game over?" Holly asked you.
"I guess so." You raised her eyebrows and smiled.
"Charlie, you guys to get home?" Joel asked.
"It's just a quarter mile down the road," Charlie waved a hand. He smiled, "Good night ladies."
"Goodnight," you both said at the same time before Holly turned to you.
"I'm heading to the bathroom. Be right back." She raised her eyebrows, noting it would give you and Joel a moment alone and you tried to play it off coolly.
"Okay." She watched a moment as Holly made her way down the bar and around the corner.
"Hope I didn't kill your girls night," Joel said.
"No." You turned back to him and leaned an elbow on the table, "We were just bored. Had to get out of the house."
"Mmm..." He slid back down into a seat and you took upon herself to join him as you waited for Holly.
Joel leaned both elbows on the table to straddle his beer, "You're probably used to night clubs filled with young guys just dying to buy you a drink. This has to be fuckin' lame."
"I was over that scene by my junior year," you told him with a laugh as you shook your head. "They were all the same with their cheesy cologne and gelled up hair."
Joel huffed a laugh and took a sip of his drink. "Sick of that shit huh?"
"Very." You mirrored his position and continued to sip on the beer you had been milking for the better part of an hour, "I'm kind of over the party scene... and the being at home scene."
"You've been home for one fuckin' day." He raised his eyebrows, "Get over it. You're saving money."
You nodded, "Yeah... yeah you're right."
"I know I am." He smiled, a charming arrogance radiating out of him.
When your phone buzzed in your pocket you jumped and quickly removed it, finding a text message from Holly.
I'm getting in my car. Snuck out the back. Have fun. You'll thank me later.
When you looked back up Joel was grilling you with his eyes. You wondered if he had managed to read the message or not. You cleared her throat. "Holly," you said simply.
"You guys need to go?"
You opened her mouth to speak, still unsure if he had seen what your friend wrote but decided to chance it and lie. "She... got sick. She's on her way home."
"She okay?"
You nodded. “Just a little embarrassed I think and decided to go." You took a sip to buy yourself some time in case he asked any more questions. When he didn't you tried to change the subject. "This place is dead."
"What's so bad about the college scene?" Joel asked.
"Huh?"
"The young guys, the night clubs..."
"Oh... nothing, I guess." You cleared her throat feeling like he was trying to read your mind. Again, your face felt flush with heat and you continued, "They're just... all the same. There's no appeal anymore. When I was eighteen I thought it was cool sneaking into bars and all that." You smiled and shook her head before looking him in the eye. "This is more my speed."
Joel stared back and didn't immediately say anything.
You almost couldn't take the quiet stalemate. The sexual attraction for Joel burned in your chest and in that moment, in the quiet corner of the bar, it was hard to fight it. All the same, you felt like you had to be reading his body language correctly in assuming he was feeling something too. Still, the fact that he was your older neighbor, who you didn't know very well, lingered in the back of your mind.
Getting involved with Joel would satisfy your instant craving for him but beyond that you knew it could only lead to making both of your lives more complicated.
"I'm going to go to the bathroom," you told him, when you couldn't contain your feelings any longer. It was the only thing you could say without leaping across the table and initiating a make-out session that played out animalistically in your mind.
"You gunna disappear on me too?" he joked, though you could see there was a hint of seriousness in his piercing eyes behind the wicked smile that hadn't left his face all evening.
"Not a chance." You felt embarrassed by the bold nature of your words, but took a deep breath and made the long walk across the bar into the restroom area. When you pushed open the door you felt relieved that no one else was in there and quickly made your way to the sink to pat some water on her face. You let out a breath, leaning both of her hands on the counter and then took in your appearance to make sure you was satisfied with the way you looked.
I'm being ridiculous, you thought. I'm too old to feel this out of control over a guy... or a man.
Joel was a man. He wasn't at all like the college boys you had been surrounded by who loved to crush beer cans on their heads, brag about how many consecutive beer pong games they'd won and worst of all when they threw the cheesiest lines at you and your friends to try to get laid. Joel didn't have to say or do anything in particular. He could simply look at you the right way and you found yourself ready to obey any request or demand he threw your way.
I’m in over my head, you thought, but I don't care.
You took in another deep breath and felt like you had the quick break that you needed to hold a sensible conversation with him without the constant interference of your out-of-whack hormones.
"Okay," you whispered to yourself and fiddled with your hair before pulling the door open to head back into the short, dark hallway. When Joel rounded the corner at the same time from the bar both of you stopped abruptly.
His eyes stalked the length of your body before finally re-settling on your gaze.
"Checking to make sure I didn't bail?" you joked, nervously laughing just after. Your tongue danced along your bottom lip, and you couldn't help but look him up and down the way he had just done to you.
Joel swallowed hard, tipping his mouth up into a half-smirk before walking past the men's room door in your direction.
You didn't have time to process all of the questions in your mind because he marched up and planted his lips against yours, immediately penetrating them with his tongue as his hands successfully shoved you up against the door to the women's room. It opened a few inches beneath the force.
You felt an explosion of adrenaline filter through your body as you kissed him back even more savagely than in your daydreams.
Joel pushed the door all the way open with one hand, not separating himself from you as he gripped your ass with his free hand and pushed his hips firmly against yours.
You tangled a hand in his hair, kissing him back with a heated passion that you didn't bother to try masking now that he had initiated the fantasy that had been playing out in your mind since you had him.
He moaned into your mouth before taking a breath and crushing his lips back against yours. Your back collided with the tile wall at the back of the bathroom, and you arched your neck as he began to ravage you, sliding a hand down the front of your pants while gripping your face with the other to kiss you hard again.
It all was happening so fast. You struggled to keep up but couldn't process a conscious thought when his first two fingers slid inside of you.
You bit down on your lip in a break in the kiss and spread your legs wider to give him more access.
Joel left a single kiss on her lips and spoke against them in a husky whisper, "Let it out honey," he kissed you again, "Let it out."
You knew the bar was nearly empty and there wasn't another woman that had been there. Even if there had been you didn't know that you would have cared. When his fingers twitched, arcing perfectly in his technique to make your entire lower body shiver with pleasure, you groaned.
"Fuck Joel," your whined his name, desperate for his tongue to dominate your again as he continued to finger you relentlessly until you felt like you were going to explode.
Joel's arousal heightened when he traced your lips with his thumb of his free hand, prompting you to take the tip of it into your mouth.
"God," he closed his eyes relished in the feeling, pushing his fingers deeper into you.
You whimpered again, writhing beneath his touch and attempted to reach for the belt buckle on his pants. "I want you."
He removed his hand from beneath your slick panties and placed his hands against the wall on either side of you as you managed to undo his buckle and shove his pants down off his hips.
Instinctively, you dropped to your knees, taking in as much of him as you could. Joel moaned and bucked his hips once as he grasped the back of your head with one hand. You looked up, watching his head fall back as his closed eyes pressed shut tighter. Joel allowed you to have your way with him as you continued to go down on him like you might never get another opportunity to do so. "Fuuucckk." He drew the word out, encouraging you to continue as he grabbed a fist full of your hair. "Ohh shit..."
Had anybody walked by the door there would have been no way to mask what was going on. Joel didn't hold back and felt an additional jolt of pleasure when you stroked him with your hand before quietly demanding him to come.
He opened his eyes, letting his mouth hang open as he glanced down, making eye contact with you as you engulfed him again.
"Jesus..." Joel's eyes closed and he felt an unmistakable buildup brewing below his waist. He couldn't ask you to stop, not when he was on the verge of exploding. "I'm gunna come." He shouted the words so loud that you thought for sure that someone had to have heard your encounter from somewhere in the bar. Still, you didn't let up and allowed him to push deep into you, gripping the back of your head with such force that you couldn't have separated your mouth from him if you tried.
He groaned, not attempting to hold back what he was feeling, alternating different curse words in between uneven breaths that ultimately left him panting as you finished him off. With a final breath he released your hair, letting his hand drop toward your face as you wiped a hand across your mouth and slowly rose to your feet.
Joel stood there for several seconds, breathing heavy with his pants at his ankles and a hand still on your face. When he finally came down off the high enough to speak, a chuckle left his mouth and ran a hand through your now-messy hair. "Shit honey... you didn't get yours." He let out another breath and then retrieved his pants from the floor and straightened out his appearance.
"It's alright," you told him with a sly smile, noting the heat that was still brewing between your legs.
He huffed another breath and adjusted himself over his pants before regaining your gaze. Joel smiled and drew his thumb gently under your eye, "Mascara's running. Sorry honey."
You closed her eyes as he continued to wipe the stray makeup away from your face. When you reopened them, Joel sported a half grin and he raised his eyebrows.
"Guess I fuckin' owe ya one."
You snickered, pleased to know that he wasn't at all expecting this to be your only encounter. "Yeah... you do."
Joel took a final, deep breath. "Well... you know where to find me."
"Next door."
"If you see me outside come on over to... borrow some butter or something.”
"Butter..." You snickered and then swallowed hard when he took a step toward her and slid a hand back down the front of your pants.
Joel touched his lips to yours as he spoke and this time gently began to massage up and down your wet center. When your mouth twisted up in a smile and you closed your eyes again he grinned and removed his glistening fingers. "It's a shame this is going to go to waste. Too bad you're so damn good at giving a blowjob. I had all the intentions of fucking you but I could just not ask you to stop.”
"Damn," she said quietly, but smiled, praying he might have it in him to continue.
Joel smiled, reading the disappointment on her face. "I'll be in and out tomorrow," he claimed, "You see me and you feel like bringing me over some butter…”
"I think you’ll definitely need some."
He looked down and made his way to the sink to wash his hands before turning to her with a smile. He ended the night the same way he had the night before, "I'll see ya around."
CLICK HERE FOR PART 2
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Chapter 60 of human Bill Cipher almost wasn't the Mystery Shack's prisoner but he's back here for some reason:
Everything you never even imagined about how Bill survived his execution.
(warning for cultists doing cultish activities in this chapter. and i don't mean "fantastical Blind Eye Society hijinks," i mean "discussing how to indoctrinate & isolate new recruits.)
####
"Hiya, Stan!" Bill Cipher beamed brilliantly. His gold tooth matched his new coat. "Didja miss me yet?"
Stan punched Bill in the nose.
Bill tumbled on his back, hand over his face. Voice tight with pain, he said, "Just so you know, I let you do that."
Stan's voice hit a pitch he hadn't been able to reach since puberty. "WHAT ARE YOU DOING ALIVE!"
Bill sat up gingerly. "Well, funny story—"
"NO! Nuh-uh, I'm finishing you properly this time!" Fists raised, Stan lunged at Bill.
Ford grabbed Stan from behind, one arm around his neck and one hooked up under his armpit. (Bill took the opportunity to scoot backward and get to his feet.) "Stanley! Stand down!"
"YOU!" Stan flung Ford's hands off and whirled around, pointing accusatorially at him. "You gave me your word! Tell me you didn't let Bill out."
"I didn't let Bill out."
Stan grabbed Ford's turtleneck. "Don't you lie to me!"
"I didn't let Bill out!" Ford ripped Stan's hands off his turtleneck. "He was already gone when I went into the kids' room."
"Then who— Who else would've known—"
Stan whirled around at a creak on the stairs. Dipper, halfway down the stairs, jumped when Stan saw him.
"DIPPER!" Stan stormed up to the stairs. "Did you help the demon escape?!"
"What, no!" Dipper took a step back up. "I don't even know how he got out! All I did was not say anything!"
"Well, who's left that could've helped him?!"
"BIIILL!" Mabel barreled down the stairs. "YOU CAME BACK!" She climbed on the stair railing, jumped off, and Bill—who'd crept inside behind Stan—was once more tackled to the ground.
Stan's hands twisted in the air like he wasn't sure whether he wanted to strangle someone, punch something, or pull out his own hair. He finally settled on curling them into fists and shaking them at God. "AM I THE ONLY ONE WHO DIDN'T KNOW THE DEMON'S ALIVE?!"
Soos, still sitting in the living room by himself, staring into space, voice hushed with horror, asked, "So who did I sweep into the flower vase..."
"Okay, family meeting!" Stan pointed at the living room, "Right now! You," he pointed at Bill, "upstairs! I don't wanna look at you and your—your stupid Las Vegas magician sequined coat!"
Bill sat up with a wince and grinned, "Oh, do you like it?" He took off his backpack and checked to see if its contents had been crushed when he was knocked down twice.
"You look like a circus clown!"
"I liked the Vegas magician thing better."
"GO!" Stan pointed up the stairs.
Bill raised his hands, rolling his eye as he started up the stairs. "Fine, fine—"
Stan grabbed Bill's wrist, making him drop his backpack. "STOP!"
"Make up your mind!"
Stan yanked one half of the enchanted friendship bracelets down over Bill's wrist. "You're not getting out again. Not on my watch."
Bill jerked his arm free, shot Stan a dirty look, and stomped up the stairs, umbrella clutched angrily in one hand and backpack in the other. Stan pulled the other half of the bracelet on.
In the living room, Ford, Dipper, and Mabel were lined up shamefacedly on the couch, like three students waiting to be lectured by the principal. Stan glowered at them each, fists on his hips. "Now, I wanna know why my own family all joined in some big secret conspiracy to help Cipher escape! Is it alien mind control?! Did you join a cult?!"
Mabel took a deep breath. "I saved him because he's my friend and I don't want him to die and he really is getting better and you'd all see it if you just gave him a chance to prove it and you just don't understand how he thinks like I do"—she took another breath—"and I promise he won't try to take over the world again just give him a chance!"
Stan's glare melted into something close to guilt. "You're... you're fine, pumpkin. I know you wouldn't have let your friend get hurt." He shot a glare at the other two conspirators. "Which is why we weren't going to tell her."
"Listen," Dipper said, "I still hate him and I don't trust him, but—but I heard part of a poem about Bill that I'm sure is a prophecy; which means he's important, we'll probably need him to save the town or something! So we can't let him die before then! He's already passed up chances to kill us and even saved Grunkle Ford and me, that proves he can restrain himself enough to be useful!" He winced, "Plus... I didn't wanna make Mabel sad. I have seen a future where she loses a friend, and it is not pretty."
Mabel leaned against Dipper. "Thanks, bro-bro."
Stan screwed up his face, but just muttered angrily under his breath about stupid prophecies and stupid life saving, and turned his glare on Ford. "Well? What's your excuse?"
Ford didn't answer, staring down at his hands, grimacing as he searched for an answer.
Stan pressed, "You told me that if you couldn't pull the trigger, you'd give me the gun. Why didn't you?"
"Because I could have pulled it! The situation was different, I—I only changed my mind because he wasn't there. If he had been, I'd have done it—"
"Would you? If you couldn't even tell me that he wasn't dead, do you really think that if he'd been right there, looking you in the eyes, you'd have done it?"
In his mind's eye, Ford could see Bill, hiding under a towel, grinning up at him with one bright eye. And Bill, collapsed beside the lake, shaking all over, sobbing so hard he didn't even notice he was clinging to Ford's stupid borrowed t-shirt like a lifeline. And Bill, staring tiredly across a chess board, telling Ford that the black king was taking the whole board down with him. And Bill, lighting up the room as he taught Ford's niece about his own long-extinct alien civilization.
And Bill, glowing golden, lighting up Ford's dream as he taught him about fifth-dimensional calculus.
Ford didn't answer.
Stan asked, "Why didn't you tell me?"
Softly, Ford said, "Because I don't want him to die."
Stan spread his arms in disbelief. "Well, why the hell not?!"
"Because—I'm—beginning to think that there might be a chance that Bill could..." he winced, "change. Maybe."
Stan's silence was deafening. Mabel leaned forward to stare around Dipper at Ford.
Ford rubbed his forehead. "I—it made sense yesterday, but it sounds stupid out loud."
Stan slowly shook his head. "Have you all lost your minds? You think he can change? You think he's part of some prophecy?! Y—Mabel, honey, you're the sweetest girl in the world, but you could do way better for friends than him."
Mabel sorta shrugged, sorta shook her head, sorta grimaced, and sorta nodded. "Yeah, but, I like him."
"WHY?!" Stan roared, making Mabel and Dipper both jump. "Why, why are any of you wasting your time on him?! Guys like him don't change! He's a dangerous, self-centered crook, and that's all he'll ever be. He's a rotten, greedy, lazy loser, he's only gotten as far as he has by conning guys smarter than him, he's got no regard for anybody but himself, all he does is cheat and lie, and if you let him stay in our lives he'll just ruin them! The best thing he could do for our family is—" Stan choked on a lump in his throat. "Is d-die."
The room was silent. Dipper and Mabel, leaning back into the sofa to get away from the rant, stared at him with wide eyes. Soos, over in an armchair bearing silent witness to this family drama, had his hands steepled in front of his face.
Stan couldn't look at Ford. He didn't know why Ford looked so sorrowful. Thickly, Stan asked, "All I want is to get rid of him—why don't you?"
He could hear Soos wince. "Oof."
Stan pointed at him. "Not a word. Not one word," he growled. "Fine—if none of you will deal with him properly," he cracked his knuckles, "I will."
Mabel flinched. Dipper moved to stand, "Grunkle Stan—" but stopped when Ford put a hand on his shoulder.
Stan stomped up the stairs. He'd wring that monster's stupid neck, and if it started the apocalypse then so be it—
He stopped halfway up the stairs. Bill was sitting on the steps, just around the landing corner, leaning against the wall, backpack in his lap. His soaked pant legs were dripping rainwater on the steps. "You," Stan snarled. "What are you doing?"
"What's it look like, genius? I'm trying to eavesdrop," Bill said. "So what'd they say?"
"What? What did who say about what?"
"About leaving me alive. Why did they say they don't want me dead?"
He asked like he was genuinely curious. Like he didn't know.
Stan stared at Bill.
"I have a good idea for Shooting Star, but the other two...?" Bill made an uncertain gesture with his hand. "I've got my top guesses, but I want to know what clinched the deal."
Stan couldn't kill him, either.
He'd already lost this fight. Pathetic lonely dead con artist who'd rather lose a tooth than look scared, how could Stan take him out? He understood too well. "Just—shut your stupid mouth, take off that stupid circus outfit, and get out of my sight, Cipher."
Bill bristled. "Hey." He stood. "What's that for? It's not like I did anything wrong. Sure, I got your whole family in on a conspiracy, but that's their mistake! I was just doing what I had to! You can't blame me for—"
"I don't blame you," Stan said.
"You d— You don't." Cautiously, Bill asked, "You... don't?"
"How can I?" He shrugged heavily. "It was self-defense. Ford should've known better—but I can't blame you. I'm not an idiot, I don't expect you to just lay down and die for us."
"Oh." Bill squinted at Stan, like he thought this was a trick and he was waiting for the other shoe to drop. "Oh. Okay." After a pause, voice uncharacteristically small and confused, he asked, "So I'm... not in trouble?"
Stan's face did a gymnastics routine. "Heck," he muttered. "No! I guess not! I don't like it, but I'm not gonna punish a guy for saving his own miserable worthless hide! Just... stay out of my way, I don't wanna see your stupid face."
"I'm just minding my own business," Bill said. He sat again and leaned on the wall, arms crossed, staring into space thoughtfully. (He didn't know what to do with a reality where he'd done something everyone hated, but nobody blamed him for it.)
Stan trudged back downstairs. Everyone was where he'd left them. He glowered at his family. They quietly waited. "Well," Stan said. "We're stuck with him now. Since somebody wasted the only bit of fuel we had that could kill him. Is everyone happy."
Nobody seemed particularly happy. Ford shifted on his seat. "Kids... you should go to bed. Stan and I need to talk."
Dipper and Mabel quickly took the opportunity to slide off the sofa and escape the room.
"Oh! Oh you bet we need to talk! You have no idea how much we need to talk—"
"Downstairs," Ford said firmly.
"What, you don't want everyone else to hear exactly what I think of your crazy stunt?"
Ford lowered his voice. "Downstairs where he can't overhear. It's important."
Stan's face twitched with the effort of suppressing more shouting; but then he growled, "Fine! But this had better be worth it. Lemme get my bathrobe, your stupid underground office is like a freezer..." He trudged from the room, grumbling. "Hey, demon! Take off your bracelet, I'm done being tied to your sorry hide." After a moment, the thread reappeared on the stair steps as they both took their ends off.
Dipper glared at Bill as he and Mabel passed him going up the stairs. Bill gave him a tiny, cheery wave. Dipper grumbled, "I can't believe you finally escaped like you wanted just to come right back."
"Hey, it wasn't my idea! Blame your sister!"
Mabel hugged him again. "Thanks for coming back."
Bill said, "Thanks for absorbing Stan's wrath for me!" He laughed.
The kids ran upstairs.
And Bill placed the tip of his broken umbrella on the stair step and quietly walked back down, winding the enchanted bracelets' thread into loops as he went.
####
Soos looked at Ford and shyly raised a hand. "So... when you said the kids should go to bed, did that include..."
"Yes, Soos," Ford said. "You should go too."
"Yes." He quietly pumped a fist. "One of the kids." As he left, he said, "Hey, Bill. Sweet coat."
Ford looked over. Hovering in the shadows of the entryway, almost glowing gold from the living room's light, Bill peered into the room. He was by the coat rack, hanging the bracelets back up. Bill said, "Fancy meeting you here."
Ford sighed irritably. "I'm not in the mood to talk, Cipher."
"Don't flatter yourself, I'm not down here for you." Bill gestured at the sofa Ford was on. "I want my bed back."
Right. Ford stood so Bill could retrieve the cushions.
As he grabbed the first cushion, Bill smirked at Ford. "So..." (Not here for you. Sure.) "What was it that swayed you?"
Ford just glowered at Bill.
Bill pressed, "Was it that handy list of starter spells I gave you? I doubt it was my chess prowess, that wasn't my best playing." He laughed, "What am I asking for! You humans are suckers for a life debt. You can consider it paid off—a life for a life, fair and square—"
"It wasn't any of those."
Bill's smile disappeared. "Then what?" he asked. "Don't tell me you did it out of the goodness of your heart, I've seen enough of yours not to buy that—"
"It was Mabel."
Bill dropped his first cushion on top of the second and awkwardly tried to get his arms around both. "What'd she say about me?"
"Nothing." Nothing that had changed Ford's mind, anyway. "It's how you treat her."
"How I—?" Bill was so baffled that he almost looked offended. "What are you talking about? I haven't been treating her any way at all! I'm just... just goofing around with her. She's a fun kid."
"Exactly," Ford said. "If you can treat just one odd little girl with kindness, for no reason—then maybe, just maybe, there's hope for you." He sighed; he felt the sternness in his face slacken. He felt tired. "At least... I want to hope there is."
There was a flash of something Ford couldn't recognize in Bill's face. Something like pain; something nearly like guilt. It was gone almost as soon as he saw it.
"Well, sure," Bill said flatly, glancing away like Ford had lost his interest. "Why wouldn't I be nice to her? I like weird freaks." He managed to stand with his awkward armload and turned away, cutting the conversation off. "Anyway. It's been a long night. I'm going to bed. You should too," he shot back over his shoulder from the bottom of the stairs, "when's the last time you got decent sleep? Your eye bags are more... bag than... eye." Bill cringed at himself. "Don— Don't say anything. I'm tired." He headed up the stairs, his umbrella hooked over his left elbow. They'd have to get that umbrella back.
Tomorrow. Ford couldn't be bothered tonight. Bill wasn't killing anybody before morning.
Ford leaned on the doorframe where he could still see Bill. "I hid your hoodie in the box of spare bedding in the loft. Under the spare pillows."
Bill stopped halfway up the stairs and turned back toward Ford. "You didn't incinerate it?"
"No."
"Why?"
"I assumed you'd be back here eventually. I thought you'd want it."
Bill's face was unreadable.
He turned away from Ford and continued upstairs without saying a word.
Mabel's crayon drawing of Bill—"YOU CAN CHANGE. I BELIEVE IN YOU!"—felt like it was burning a hole in Ford's pocket.
####
Saturday, 7:52 a.m.
Bill stole a handful of loose change out of a tip jar and timed his exit so he walked out of the Triple Digit Truck Stop just as a man walked in and kindly held the door for him.
Gravity Falls really was a charming little town. Behind the times. The Triple Digit Truck Stop had expanded significantly in the past decades to add a convenience store and additional amenities for travelers, but the diner that made up the heart of it had barely changed. Same patchy grassy parking lot, same giant lumberjack sculpture watching over the cars... same public pay phones around the left side of the building.
He put in a few coins, punched in the number he'd memorized, and leaned against the wall while he waited to be answered. "Hey, Sue! Guess who?" A smile curled across his face. "That's right. Hey, how many people can say they've been personally called by god?" He laughed. "My Star Boy told you what preparations to make, right? Good. It's time. Midnight. Just north of the county line. I'll see you there."
Then he hung up the phone, left the clearing around the diner, and vanished into the trees.
Unless something dramatically changed, he'd be meeting his dear devotee that night.
####
9:30 p.m.
Something had dramatically changed.
His disloyal devotee had saved him.
It was a long walk to the county line. If Bill wanted to make his midnight meeting with his cultist, he had to leave before sunset.
He was still up on the cliff when the last of the light left the valley, pacing restlessly back and forth—first toward the side of the cliff overlooking the town (he could see the Mystery Shack's roof through the trees), then toward the side aimed away from the valley, toward the county line.
He should go. He needed to go. He needed to go now. He needed to go two hours ago.
He'd spent three out of the last four days hiking all over this town's forests and caves. In the last thirty-six hours he'd barely gotten a quick nap. (In the morning, when Mabel heard that Ford had covered for Bill, she'd come straight here.) He told himself he didn't have the energy for the hike to the county line. (What if Mabel got here and couldn't find him?)
If he didn't show up tonight, surely his cultist would try again tomorrow night. He'd go tomorrow.
It was fine. Everything would work out for him. Everything always worked out for him.
####
Sunday, 4:10 p.m.
He'd been right. Mabel had come straight here. As the platform lifted him back up, Bill watched her wheel her bike through the trees, slowly heading toward the main road back into town.
For a midsummer day, it was chilly in the rain.
Don't you wanna be in the shack with your only friend on Earth? Would you really rather spend the rest of summer in some dumb old busted alien ship?
Interesting question.
####
8:30 p.m.
It was a long walk to the county line. Bill packed his supplies—he didn't have that much to pack, he'd only ever needed enough food and shelter to last him a couple of days. He flung one backpack over each shoulder, closed and concealed the alien ship fragment, and shrunk his floating platform with the height-altering flashlight so he could wrap it in a shirt and stuff it in his second backpack.
And then, under the cover of the rain and the falling night, he began the hike north.
####
10:45 p.m.
Even to Bill's eyes, the weirdness barrier around Gravity Falls was typically invisible. He could only see it where something touched it or passed through it, making waves travel out in circles from the point of contact. The circles glowed a dull coppery color at their peaks. Tonight, with the rain falling, the barrier rippled as though the rain were falling on the surface of a lake, and the whole thing glowed a faint filmy orange.
Precisely in the middle of the barrier was a sign marking the border of Roadkill County.
Ten feet beyond the barrier, just off the edge of the road, headlights and engine off and lurking beneath the trees, was a black car.
Bill walked straight through the weirdness barrier as though it wasn't even there. He didn't feel a thing.
The car engine started and the headlights turned on. Bill didn't even blink. The driver's door flew open and Sue popped out, fumbling to open an umbrella as she did. "Bill Cipher?"
"Hiya, Sue! You made it early."
"Oh, thank goodness." She hurried up to him. "I was so worried—I didn't know if I'd come to the wrong place, or if something had happened... And when I didn't hear anything from you the next day, and Gideon didn't know anything..." (Great, she'd gotten Gideon involved?) She started to offer Bill her umbrella, realized he was already holding a closed umbrella as a cane, looked up as she registered that no rain was falling on him, then stared at him in wonder.
"Yeah, sorry about that—an unavoidable emergency came up, I couldn't get out and couldn't call." And he'd gotten a pretty good night's sleep. "But look at you, loyal enough to come try again the next night! You're a rare sort of human soul, you know that? This world could use more people like you."
Sue flushed with pleasure. "Oh... thank you, I..."
Bill tilted his head toward the car. "Let's not talk out in the rain, huh? Another car's coming by in about a minute, I think we shouldn't be seen."
"Right! Of course, my lord." She hurried back to the car.
"There's a terrific diner just a few minutes up the road. We can talk there, it's safe enough. Cute decor, too—have you ever seen a twenty foot tall lumberjack...?" He paused uncertainly by the car. "Hey, Sue? This'll sound silly—but I'm gonna need you to get the passenger door."
The car's interior lights flashed on as Sue opened the passenger door, long enough to catch the glittery purple nail polish on Bill's fingers. Sue gave it a curious look. Even though they'd just gotten painted three days ago, the polish was already scuffed again from his escape; but a few tiny flower stickers were still sticking to his nails.
Bill grinned. "There's a thirteen-year-old staying in the shack. Sweetest thing. She's a real artist."
"Oh! I see." A smile stretched across Sue's face. Bill suspected it wasn't for Mabel. That's right, your god's good with children. He lets little girls give him goofy manicures and proudly shows them off. Chicks dig that kind of thing.
When they were both buckled in, Sue hesitated, holding the steering wheel. "Lord Cipher... I wanted to say... if my... actions the last time we met were out of line in any way, I want to apologize—"
Bill placed a finger under her chin, turned her face toward him, and kissed her lightly. (He was so smooth. He mentally congratulated himself.) "Sorry if you got confused. I had to keep the outsider from getting suspicious, get it?"
She sucked in a small breath. "I... yes. Yes, of course."
"Don't trust anything I say or do when unbelievers are listening. The only time you can be sure I'm telling the truth..." his voice dropped to a near whisper, "is when we're alone."
He could see the goosebumps raise on her arms. "Yes, my lord."
He was so good—and his worshipers were so, so stupid. That was why they followed him. "Now, let's get to that diner, huh?"
As they got on the road, he studied his nails; to a normal human it was too dark to see, but to Bill's eyes they still glittered bright purple. The question Mabel had asked him earlier had been playing over and over in his mind all afternoon: Would you really rather spend the rest of summer in some dumb old busted alien ship?
Naive, trusting kid.
She really thought she was his best option.
######
"... And then, as if directly launching a psychic attack on my ethereal essence and forcing me into a mortal fleshly form wasn't bad enough," Bill said, "they imprisoned me! And get this: just to rub salt in the wound, they thought it would be funny to take a divine muse who's spent an eternity helping mortals build doorways between dimensions—and curse it so it can't open doors. I have to ask my kidnappers to open the fridge for me. Have you ever heard something so condescending?"
"Insane. That's just sadistic," Sue said. "After all you tried to do for them."
"You don't know what a comfort it is to hear a human say that."
They fell silent as someone approached. A waitress stopped next to their table. "Hey, I—Goldie!"
"Dani Miranda! Hey, how's it going! I see you found the treasure map I left you."
Dani was wearing two large gold earrings, two heavy gold necklaces each with a large gem-encrusted pendant, and four rings. "Yes, oh my gosh. I cannot believe you knew where a whole treasure chest was and you just gave it to me? That's the nicest thing ever?"
That's right, it was. "What are you doing working here! You can retire on that kind of money. Unless you want to rebury all that gold yourself?" He'd respect that.
"I'm still getting it appraised. Besides, I like talking to the late night travelers."
Bill ordered a strawberry banana shake, the monthly pancake special—which meant three quarters of the pile covered in stripes of strawberry sauce and cream cheese frosting and one quarter covered in a big puddle of blueberry sauce—floppy bacon, three eggs prepared "any way except scrambled," a cup of bleu cheese dressing, a cup of salsa, and a bottle of hot sauce. Sue ordered a water and a small grilled chicken salad.
(Bill tried to remember whether the Death Valley girls were one of his "purify the flesh by practicing harsh asceticism" cults or his "hedonistically revel in the pleasures of the senses" cults, in case he needed to make up a justification for why god was ordering pancakes instead of practicing what he preached—something something a human body containing a divine soul burns through much more energy, maybe—but no, he had the Death Valley girls on psychedelics, that was a hedonism cult. He kept them controlled through drugs, exhaustion, and poor air conditioning, not starvation. Small grilled chicken salad, indeed. The only thing stronger than cult brainwashing was diet industry brainwashing.)
When Dani was safely out of earshot, Sue lowered her voice and asked, "'Goldie'?"
"My captors decided to keep my identity secret so an angry mob won't execute me before they get the chance," Bill said. "The entire town's against the All-Seeing Eye named Bill; but only a handful know there's anything unusual about the handsome human in the Mystery Shack they've been calling Goldie."
She looked taken aback at the angry mob comment. "The entire town's against you?" Her gaze roved around the Triple Digit Truck Stop, taking in a lone trucker several tables away and a bored waiter scrolling on his phone behind the counter. "Is there anyone we can trust?"
"Gideon's on our side, of course—good kid—but, well... he isn't completely reliable. You know what happens with child celebrities. The fame and fortune spoils 'em a bit."
"I never would have guessed from his television appearances. He seems so... gracious."
Bill choked back a laugh. "He'll grow up all right—he's just going through a phase. But I'd rather not trust him with more involvement than necessary until he... matures a little."
"I understand." Sue sighed. "It's too bad the dawn of the new age didn't begin closer to us, where we could have assisted your work."
She didn't have the guts to question her god, but Bill heard the implicit question: why here? Why in some tiny tourist town that didn't even like tourists, buried in a forest in the middle of nowhere, amongst the ignorant ungrateful masses? "Yeah—too bad," Bill agreed with a shrug. "But hey, I didn't choose where the veil between worlds would be thinnest! There's energy in this town like nowhere else on your planet. It's the only place where a machine built with modern human technology is strong enough to punch through dimensions—and that's with the help of extraterrestrial equipment."
Besides, he didn't like Death Valley.
Dani returned from the kitchen. "One chicken salad, and one breakfast combo with the pancakes of the month."
"Great! I'm starving." Bill picked up the little plastic cup of salsa and dumped it into his shake. Sue choked on her water.
Dani's brows shot up. "Is—is that good?"
"What can I say, I've got the palate of an alien." (Sue choked on the sip she'd taken to recover from her first sip of water.) Bill poured the bleu cheese over his eggs, then started drizzling hot sauce on his pancakes. "Anyway, it keeps people from stealing my food."
"I guess so!" Dani laughed. She hovered near their table a little too long; and then she said, "Okay, I've got to ask: how did you know where to find buried treasure? I mean...!"
"I know lots of things." He fought down a smirk. "I happen to be psychic."
"No way." But she looked curious. She wanted to believe.
Bill had had a hunch that giving her that treasure would pay off. Nice to know his understanding of human nature was still sharp, even when he couldn't double-check the far future to see how his meddling would turn out. "If I wasn't psychic, would I have known your last name? Or where that treasure chest was?" he asked. "Or that you keep three pictures of tarantulas and a Canadian twenty in your wallet? Or that you have recurring dreams of trying to hide in sewer manholes from a fire-breathing dragon?" While he waited for her to process that, he triumphantly dug into his pancakes. He had a feeling he wouldn't be eating much more before his food got cold.
Dani's smile had disappeared. The blood drained from her face. "How...?"
"I'm... let's say, connected to a higher plain. I can see dimensions most humans can't."
"It's true," Sue piped up. (Bill took the opportunity to dig into an egg. Oh, the bleu cheese was a great choice.) "The insights h—she's offered me and so many others have been... life-changing. World-changing." Good girl.
"Insights?" Dani asked weakly.
Bill shrugged modestly. "You could call me a 'spiritual teacher,' I suppose, but that makes it sound like I'm preaching some kind of religion! All I do is teach people what I know and tell people what I see if I think it'll help 'em. Like if I see a bunch of buried gold that could change the life of a nice kid working minimum wage."
Dani reflexively touched one of her necklaces.
"You didn't think going to parties in togas was my full-time job, did you?" Bill laughed.
Dani laughed feebly too. She hadn't moved away. She was closer now, her thigh leaning against the edge of the table. "That's... wow. I've never met an actual psychic before. I mean—I went to one of Lil Gideon's live shows, but that was before the big scandal and his arrest."
"You hate to see a pillar of the community go down like that, don't you?"
"What..." Dani swallowed hard, lowered her voice, and asked, "What kinds of things does a psychic 'teach'?"
Got her. "It depends! Everyone's got different lessons they need to learn, right?" He slid out of his seat, nodded toward Sue, and said, "Excuse me ladies—I'd love to elaborate, but I'm afraid I need to hit the restroom. Sue, why don't you tell her what you've learned about, give her a concrete idea of what I do."
"It would be my honor."
As Bill passed Sue, he leaned over and whispered, "Don't mention triangles." And then he got out of her way, to let Sue do what his Death Valley girls did best.
####
When he returned to his seat, Sue leaned over the table and murmured, "I got her phone number and email."
"Good work. I bet she'd be an easy recruit."
"I bet. She's already asking how much lessons cost."
"What'd you say?"
"You offer your help to others for free, but cover your living expenses and travel costs with donations."
"Attagirl." It had been easier to use that line when he was a triangle—of course our great mentor and muse doesn't need money, he's above such earthly concerns; his mortal devotees who spread his word, though, subsist on donations... It was better for his image. They'd just have to modify their fundraising pitch for a while. "This is exactly what I hoped would happen when I invited you to this diner. I knew you wouldn't let me down."
The ghost of a smile flitted across Sue's face. "I'll follow up with her by phone. It's a pity we don't have enough time to really put the pressure on her in person."
"Why not? I bet we'd win her over in less than a week."
"I've already contacted the main compound in Death Valley. We've got plane tickets for first thing in the morning."
(Bill's blood ran cold. Somehow, it hadn't dawned on him until that moment that escaping Gravity Falls meant leaving Gravity Falls.)
"I have a motel room a few towns over, it was the closest I could find to Gravity Falls," Sue went on. "It's a straight shot to the Portland airport in the morning. Everyone's so excited—"
"Hold on," Bill said, figuring out what he was about to say next as he went. "There's been a last minute change of plans. I'm staying in Gravity Falls."
Sue stared at him. "But—my lord! You're a prisoner here, why wouldn't you come home to the people who love you?"
Love you, love you, love you. The word love alone was nearly enough to make him change his mind again. How he missed being revered. He could picture them now, these zealots who adored him so much they'd willingly bend their bodies into a throne to lift him up—and he didn't even need to turn them to stone first. It would be so easy to get away from all his human enemies forever...
Don't you wanna be in the shack with your only friend on Earth?
He shook his head. "Two reasons," he said. "One: no matter what, eventually I'll have to come back. The Age of the Triangle can only dawn in Gravity Falls. Staying makes it that much easier to get things started again. And two... I'm—working on a couple of potential recruits." He was? Wow. He was impressed at himself.
"You mean Gideon, or...?"
"No, others. One's the girl who helped me escape." He drummed his fingers on the table, calling attention to his purple fingernails. "She's a good kid. Lots of potential. Could be a real leader someday—she's a natural fit for our new world. She's got a few strings, but I'm working on helping her untie 'em."
Strings was a term that Mary, the leader of the Death Valley compound, had come up with and spread to the other girls: it meant petty mortal concerns that could tangle and tie you up, dragging you away from pursuing true spiritual growth and preparing for a better, liberated world. Your childhood religious beliefs were a string. The misguided ideas about morality you learned from the secular world were a string. Your job was a string. Your spouse was a string. Your family was a lot of strings. The intervention where your friends sat you down and told you they were worried about how much you'd changed lately and they were afraid you'd joined some kind of cult was a string. You had to cut them all.
And then Bill could tie on his puppet strings in their place.
"How old is she?"
"Thirteen. Fourteen at the end of the summer."
"Oh, wow—younger than I thought. That's great, kids are more open-minded," Sue said. "Though if she decides to join, it'll be hard to get her away from her family without a kidnapping charge..."
"Ugh, you don't need to remind me. I remember how we almost lost Karen and Jennifer. The legal system in this country is a mess." Bill had needed to torture that divorce court judge with nightmares for weeks before he caved and awarded Jennifer's mother sole custody so they could move to the Death Valley compound together. "But hey, got some good news: the other potential recruit. You remember the 'ex-cultist' who gave you gals my location. He turned on the humans who are pushing to execute me. He's almost back on our side. And he just so happens to be the girl's great-uncle. The family trusts him. If we can get 'em to pass her to him as her guardian, then she's ours. We can work out how to get her to the compound later." That was a lie. Bill was never handing Mabel to the Death Valley girls. She was better than them.
Sue looked less enthusiastic for this ex-cultist than she had for the girl. "Is he one of your captors...?"
Bill waved off her concerns, frowning. "Look. He's obviously been corrupted by the outside world. I lost contact with him for thirty years and he came back with more strings than a mop head. But I don't think he's beyond purification. He's already shown major improvement, now that he's once again under the shining light of my influence."
"But, this town..." Sue shook her head doubtfully. "Cipher, my lord, they nearly killed you once. You'd risk staying just to try to recruit two people? One who's already betrayed you—?"
"Yes!" Bill snapped. Sue flinched. "They're worth it." (He didn't question his own vehemence, his own anger at their value being doubted. He rarely questioned himself. If he asked questions, he might get answers.) "Don't you dare let this face fool you—I'm still your all-seeing god and I know what I'm doing better than you do. These two are perfect. The Age of the Triangle needs them. The traitor will repent. He WILL worship me again."
Sue stared at him with wide eyes; for a split second her breath froze in fear. She gave him a tiny nod. "Of course, my lord. My apologies."
Dani appeared at their table again. "Hey, how was everything?"
And Bill was immediately all good cheer. "Terrific, thanks!"
"Great!"
As Sue reached for her wallet, Dani waved her off. "Oh, don't worry about it—it's on the house." She winked. "I think I can afford to cover it."
Already making donations to the cause. Pretty soon all the profits from her treasure chest would be in one of Bill's bank accounts.
As they headed back out into the rain, Sue said, "So, we're staying in town at least long enough to pick up another three recruits?"
"Maybe four," Bill said. "There's another kid in town I think needs some help finding a direction."
"Another? Is this one old enough to leave home alone?"
"Not for a couple more years—but she's dying to get out just as fast as she can," Bill said. "I think you can handle her."
####
They parked just up the road from the Mystery Shack and turned the headlights off.
"Here's everything Gideon said you wanted," Sue said, handing over a paper bag. "Candles, matchbook, knife, pens, spare notebooks, five thousand dollars, a burner phone, new clothes..."
Bill pulled out a flashy golden sequin-covered coat. "Oooh!" He dug around until he also found a button-up shirt and a pair of black opera gloves. He shrugged on the shirt.
"That's... what Gideon said you requested, right?" Sue eyed the tacky, gaudy coat uncertainly.
"As long as I'm in this body, I don't have the benefit of showing up glowing in people's dreams when I have something they need to hear! I need to make them pay attention any way I can." Also, normal people had boring tastes and sequins were fantastic. He buttoned up the shirt.
"I also brought—I—thought you might want..." She held out a large pendant on a thin chain. It was an eye inscribed inside a triangle inscribed inside a circle; rays radiated out from the eye, as though it were the sun. Bill's heart leaped into his throat at the sight of it.
He realized this was the first time since his death that he'd seen his own face in any form other than a thirteen-year-old's artwork—and his own corpse. His face was ubiquitous on this planet; it was plastered on everything from money to buildings to common consumer goods. Its conspicuous absence in Gravity Falls was uncanny.
"I'm not sure if it's inappropriate—"
"It's perfect." Bill snatched the necklace from her and fiddled with the clasp until he got it on. "Exactly what I need. What did I always say about your intuition?" He considered the gloves, decided he wasn't ready to pull them on quite yet, and shrugged on the coat instead.
She restrained a pleased smile at the flattery. "Thank you, my lord."
She looked out the windshield. Just up the road was a flock of wooden signs and arrows pointing which way to turn to reach the Mystery Shack. Bill wondered whether Sue's eyes had adjusted enough to the dark that she could see their silhouettes. Sue said, "If you're not coming back to us yet, then I suppose it's time to..."
"Hold on a minute," Bill said. "You've been a bigger help tonight than you know. If it weren't for your loyalty and diligence, I wouldn't have been able to consider escaping." Blah blah blah. The truth was he'd been soaking in her reverence for the past hour and a half, like a dehydrated cactus under a cloudburst, and he wasn't leaving until he'd sucked every drop from her. "There isn't a lot I can do for you right now, trapped in this form, but you deserve a reward." He leaned toward her, his elbow against her car seat, hand on the headrest. "Let me express my gratitude the way I would have if we hadn't been interrupted during our last meeting." He tilted his head toward the back seat.
She froze as she processed the offer; and then she leaned in to kiss him hungrily.
####
"The tide's changing in this town," Bill said, pulling on his gloves, smoothing his hair back into place, putting his new coat back on. "The dawn is coming. You should stay in town now that our enemies are losing their teeth."
"Yes, Lord Cipher," she said breathlessly, still trying to get her wits about her.
(From what Bill had eavesdropped between her and Dani while he was pretending to be in the restroom, he was right that she'd been one of his "dissatisfied housewife" converts. This was probably the first time she'd ever been touched by somebody who understood anatomy. Unfortunately, she didn't know how to return the favor. But he'd been touched by reverent hands, he'd tasted tears, he'd heard a voice whine "Bill, my god, my god, my god—" That would have to hold him for a while.)
"And ditch the rental. Buy a used car," Bill said. "There's a place in town called Gleeful Auto Sales. Ask Bud for the best car on the lot, pay whatever he asks—and tell him Mr. Locke sent you."
"'Gleeful' as in...?"
"His father. My Star Boy was the only person in town who supported me—and the town's turned on his family for it. They could use our help."
Sue pursed her lips in displeasure. "Of course."
Bill gestured toward his door. "I think we've put this off long enough."
While he waited for her to get his door, he slung his two backpacks over each shoulder. Under his breath, he muttered, "'Coffee break's over; back on your heads.'"
Sue opened the door; he picked up his umbrella and stepped out into the rain.
As he walked back to his prison, he tucked his necklace beneath his shirt.
Bill reminded himself that he didn't have anything to be afraid of. Ford had thrown away the one shot that could have killed him. He was safe.
####
1:20 a.m.
As Stan followed Ford into his underground study, he shot a glance at the barren far end of the room. He grumbled, "Nice to see you haven't started putting triangle posters back up."
"I'm not..." Ford sighed in irritation. "Never mind."
"So what's so important that you had to drag me down to your nerd cave? If this isn't good—"
"I didn't waste our shot."
"What?"
At his metal worktable, Ford unlatched the Quantum Destabilizer's carrying case and opened it. "You said I wasted the only fuel we had. I didn't." He detached the NowUSeeitNowUDontium's fuel tank and held it out. The needle on the side indicated it was about a quarter full—nowhere near its full capacity, but enough for one shot, and just as much as they'd brought home from Fiddleford's.
Stan gaped. "But... hold on—we saw that shot through the walls. How the heck did you fake...?"
"Before he started developing a process to generate Dontium, Fiddleford came up with a power adaptor that could plug into the town's electricity." Ford picked up the power cord wound up in the carrying case. "He determined that it only gave the Destabilizer enough power to operate like a laser, not destroy matter and energy, so we still needed to develop the Dontium... but, I still had the cord on hand."
####
Saturday, 12:07 p.m.
Ford looked at the dummy. Looked at the note.
And then he lay the note on the dummy, knelt by the edge of the loft, opened his case, and removed the Quantum Destabilizer.
He slid out its fuel tank, returned it to the case, and pulled out the cord.
He climbed down to the bedroom; unplugged the room's air conditioning unit from its dedicated higher voltage wall socket; and plugged in the Quantum Destabilizer's cord.
In the loft, trying to figure out how to plug the other end of the cord into the Quantum Destabilizer, he was suddenly struck by the hair-raising feeling that someone was watching him. He whipped around; the eye on Bill's hood stared at him resentfully.
Ford stared back at it a moment; then he stood, pulled the hoodie off the dummy, and stuffed it into a nearby box.
He knelt. He plugged in the cable. He carefully lined up the shot with the dummy.
He fired.
####
12:09 p.m.
The atmosphere abruptly grew eerily quiet and still as the unplugged air conditioning unit fell silent. There was a shrill, whistling shriek and a blast of blue-white light so brilliant it pierced the cracks of the wooden boards in the attic bedroom's walls.
Every light in the house went out as the Quantum Destabilizer's power adapter drained every drop of electricity in town.
####
12:10 p.m.
The air was hot, stagnant, and stuffy. There was a pile of ashes three feet in front of Ford's knees.
Ford heard Dipper and Stan come into the bedroom and climb the ladder. He was seized by an urge to sweep away the ashes and the evidence of his trick before they could realize what he'd done:
The Quantum Destabilizer, at full power, completely destroyed all matter and energy.
It didn't leave behind ashes.
####
Monday, 1:23 a.m.
Ford said, "Bill left a letter in the attic asking me to help cover his getaway. If I didn't fire the gun, Bill would have known I'd told you he escaped. But if he could see the Quantum Destabilizer firing, he'd think I'd chosen his side. The only way to lure him back to the shack was by making him think I'd used up the only substance we have that could destroy him." He muttered, "Granted, I'd assumed he'd try to contact me secretly rather than knock on the door in the middle of the night, but..."
Stan gaped at Ford. Then he burst into loud laughter. "Sixer, you tricky sonova! I don't believe it!" He socked his arm. "I oughta retire from the conning business and hand it over to you!"
A smile slowly crept up Ford's face.
Stan pointed with his thumb over his shoulder at the elevator. "So we can go up there and finish him off now, right? Just wait for him to fall asleep, and...?"
Ford's smile disappeared. "No."
"N—What do you mean, 'no'?"
"I..." He took a deep breath as he chose his words. "I was serious, earlier, when I... said I want to give him a chance."
"Wh—? Still? Ford, come on, you can't think he deserves it?"
"No. Of course not. Not even close." Ford didn't hesitate. "But... does he need to deserve a chance to get one? I wonder if maybe Mabel's on to something. If he could be better, he can't show us unless we give him the second chance—before he's earned it." He sounded like a lunatic. "He can't earn it if he's dead."
Stan looked for a moment like he wanted to argue; and then something painful flashed through his eyes; and then he looked away from Ford, scowling to himself as he thought. He sighed heavily. "Yeah. Okay. Fine. Darn it, I don't wanna do it either. The creep's actually starting to grow on me. Like some kind of foot fungus."
Ford huffed. "What's important is, if we give him a chance and he throws it away, I haven't left us unarmed." He gestured to the unplugged fuel tank.
Stan looked at the tank; then looked at Ford. "You could've told us about the power cord trick yesterday, and you didn't." Stan crossed his arms. "Be honest. Do you really think, if it came down to it, you'd be able to pull the trigger now?"
"No." And again Ford didn't hesitate. "I want to believe I could; but I... don't trust myself. Yesterday morning, I never would have thought I'd decide against executing him for any reason. I know Bill's playing games with me, and yet I'm still playing along—so what else might I do?" He shrugged helplessly. He hated that Bill could still take control of his mind—even when he couldn't physically get inside it. "To some extent, he's gotten into all our heads."
Stan grimaced, but he didn't argue.
"That's why I think Fiddleford should keep the Quantum Destabilizer. He's never been taken in by Bill's tricks. If it becomes necessary, he won't hesitate."
"You know the situation's bad when Old Man McGucket's the voice of reason," Stan muttered. "But, I like that idea. We can drop it off with him in the morning."
Ford sighed. "He's probably spent the last two days thinking Bill's dead. He won't be happy to see us."
As they walked back to the elevator, Stan said, "Maybe leaving Bill alive isn't an end-of-the-world bad idea. How much trouble can he get in when he can't escape that magic barrier around town?"
"That's true," Ford said. "He's essentially harmless—at least to the rest of the universe."
Ford didn't have anything to be afraid of. Bill was trapped in the weirdness barrier; and he couldn't even leave the shack without help. They were safe.
####
As fancy as his new coat looked, Bill was was grateful to crawl back into the comfortingly formless body-obscuring shelter of his hoodie. He pulled his hood over his face, curled up on his usual cushions (sigh) in his usual spot (sigh), and quickly fell asleep.
And began to dream.
And, in his dream, saw through his nearby eyes.
In his sleep, he could see the attic from where he lay on his cushions. He sat up, realized his vision was crooked, straightened out his hood, and stood; and he began sleepwalking.
He crept silently downstairs. He walked backwards into the gift shop. He walked up to a spinning rack of keychains that Soos had set up on the display case, took off his necklace, and hung it from one of the hooks.
He pulled aside the curtain hiding the ladder to the roof.
Bill was very good at lying. Bill was very good at lying to himself. No, that wasn't true—Bill had never lied to himself in his life, and he was willing to kill anyone who tried to say he had. Bill didn't tell himself lies; he told himself what should be the truth. Believing in a new reality was the first step toward making it real. All you had to do was lie until you weren't lying anymore—and then, you'd never lied at all. It was very simple.
He'd spent billions of years swimming in and out of dreams, until he was more comfortable with how reality worked in dreams than he was with how reality worked in actual reality; and there was no other state of existence where the line between truth and lie was blurriest. Unlike the physical world, where altering reality tended to require a little more actual work, in a dream, lying until it came true really was as simple as thinking about your new truth.
That was all it took. One bright, lucid thought to shine order through the confused fog of the subconscious.
Bill was getting good at lucid dreaming.
Bill was dreaming now.
A couple of weeks ago, Bill had heard Wendy called the trap doors in the ceiling "roof lids."
No, that wasn't true. A couple of weeks ago, Bill had heard Wendy call the roof lids "roof lids," because that was what they were. Bill couldn't open doors, didn't have the first idea of what to do with a door, but he could open lids. Jar lids. Pot lids. Toilet lids. He'd practiced with toilet lids—they had hinges, that made them the most similar to roof lids. If he could open all those lids, he could open these lids.
As he stared, the trap doors changed, in the way that dream images had of swimming and shifting dizzily before your eyes, into roof lids.
He climbed the ladder, pushed up the roof lid, climbed through; and then opened the second one that led onto the roof. He moved so silently. The rickety rungs and old wooden boards didn't even creak beneath his footsteps. He climbed out, sleepwalked his way to the roof hangout spot, and jumped off the roof.
He descended, slow as a feather, to land lightly on the ground, as though gravity hardly touched him.
Almost a month ago, on his birthday, Stan had taken off his gold chain and chucked it off into the forest so he could put on his birthday gift instead. Bill had watched enviously from the window. Now, triumphantly, he scooped up the long-coveted chain and wrapped it several times around his wrist.
And then he went to the tree where he'd hung up his second backpack full of contraband and retrieved it.
There were several pine trees right next to the shack. As near-weightless as Bill was in his dream, it was easy for him to climb one of the trees and get back on the roof.
In the gift shop, the vending machine swung open as Stan and Ford returned to the house level. They went into the living room, heading toward bed. The All-Seeing Eye hanging on the keychain rack watched as the door swung shut behind them. After waiting a few more seconds to ensure they were gone, Bill slid down onto the ladder, shut the roof lid, and jumped noiselessly to the floor. He retrieved his necklace from the keychain rack.
This was a vending machine. It wasn't a door. It clearly wasn't a door. Bill punched in the vending machine's code and stepped back as it swung aside for him. He crept down the stairs.
This was an elevator. The elevator had doors, and he didn't know how to open them, but he wasn't worrying about those. The doors would sort themselves out somehow. All he cared about was the elevator. He was NOT trying to open the doors. He wasn't even thinking about opening the doors. He pushed the button to call the elevator.
The elevator doors slid open. See, just like he'd thought: the doors took care of themselves.
He pushed the button for the lowest floor. The doors slid shut.
As he rode down, he wove his new necklace's thin chain between the links of Stan's much thicker chain. Oh yeah. That looked much better.
The doors opened again into the interdimensional portal's control room.
He put on his necklace and stepped out. It was about time he made it back here. Bill really should have taken more time to check this place out at the start of summer. Why had he been in such a rush to kill the Pines? He'd had time travel. He could have rebuilt the entire portal by himself, won the lotto in Texas, spent a week in a seven star hotel, watched the Titanic sink, become President Trembley's First Lady, gotten Mysterious Mo's autograph, planted a NASA rocket in an Aztec temple just to give those ancient alien morons an undeserved but funny win, and then come back to finish the job.
Well, hindsight, whatever. At least he had a list of things to do if he ever got his hands on that time tape again. Anyway, he was back now.
He didn't think he'd need to be asleep to get back into the gift shop, and he probably needed his full brain turned on for the task ahead. He pulled his hood off, opened his eyes, and woke up.
The world looked so much less malleable.
He fished a notebook and red and black pens from his backpack, picked his way through the rubble of the portal, and began taking notes in Plaintext on how many parts were salvageable. Every few minutes, he flipped a page forward to begin work on blueprints for a new portal.
####
(And that concludes... season 1. idk out of how many seasons, but it sure feels like a season finale, don't it?
Next week's The Book Of Bill y'all! I'll be posting a chapter, but which chapter depends on TBOB. If TBOB is either compatible with the backstory I've got for Bill, or so wildly incompatible that there's no way I can reconcile my backstory so don't bother trying, I'll be posting a flashback chapter! But if TBOB is compatible enough that i MIGHT be able to reconcile it with my backstory with a lot of editing, I'll be posting the first chapter of "season 2" to give me time to edit the flashback. We'll find out next Tuesday!
In the meantime, a whole lot happened in this chapter, and I can't wait to hear what y'all think—about this chapter, about everything that's happened so far, about what's coming up, whatever!)
#bill cipher#human bill cipher#grunkle ford#grunkle stan#mabel pines#dipper pines#soos ramirez#(tagged mostly for the art but like they're in the chapter too lmao)#gravity falls#gravity falls fic#gravity falls fanart#fanart#my art#my writing#bill goldilocks cipher
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We Care About You (Epilogue)
A week after bonding with the Traveler, you log back into Genshin and find that a lot has changed since your last time playing.
Content Warning(s): N/A
Notes: SAGAU; GN!Reader;
Word Count: 1.6k
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Taglist: @silverstarred; @victoria1676; @angelofdarkness2; @areaderspov; @andromeda-gay; @ash1; @mercy-not-merci; @toodledoodl3; @jellyedkazoo; @namine123; @innuwu; @agaygothicmushroom; @tired-of-life-86; @fantasyhopperhea; @sweetsourbxtch; @zenith-of-all-zeniths; @velleunv; @creativecupcake; @obsoletedeviant;
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"Something is wrong..."
Wait. No. That's not the word you should be using.
"Something is different..."
These were the thoughts rummaging through your head as you stared at the door to Teyvat on your computer. Everything up to that point had gone smoothly compared to all the previous times you logged on.
This time, however, you noticed that the time it took the game to get ready was noticeably quicker than usual. Like really quickly. Like almost instantaneous.
Like you didn't even have time to check the notifications on your phone. It was as quick as someone snapping their fingers.
"Not that I'm complaining. All the better!" you happily exclaimed, clicking on the screen and opening the door to Teyvat.
Thinking that this loading screen would last around the same time as before, you looked away from the computer towards your phone with the intent of checking on any new notifications that may have popped up. However, the outdoor ambiance of Teyvat quickly traveled to your ears, signaling that the loading screen came and went just as quickly as the one from earlier.
"Again? How?" you questioned, turning your attention back towards your computer screen. "Why is my computer suddenly able t-"
.
..
...
"...What..."
You could immediately tell that you were in Mondstadt given that you were standing in front of the Barbados statue. But that doesn't make any sense. You logged off at Liyue the last time you played Genshin.
"...The..."
Additionally, the plaza looked much more lively than normal. You've never seen more than ten people occupy the area at one time. But this time, it looked like you were standing in the center of a heavily populated city. People were walking, running, praying, and making conversation. But to top it all off...
...They all looked so real that you almost forgot you were playing a video game.
"...Hell?..."
You moved the camera around to view as much of the plaza as you could, but you quickly came to realize something important.
"Wait... Where's my character?"
Given how much time you've spent playing Genshin, you feel a bit embarrassed that you didn't immediately notice the lack of a player character in the bottom center of your screen.
But now is not the time for such feelings! You've got questions to answer.
You tried looking for them in the crowd but found no sign of them. You turned to the left but yielded the same results. You turned to the left aga-.
"HIYA [Y/N]!!!"
"JESUS!!"
The sudden shout jump scares you so badly that you instinctively lurch backward in your chair. The cord from your headphones was pulled off your head from how far you flung your head back. The cord was also responsible for shifting your computer awry.
You quickly leaned forward and brought a hand to the computer to prevent it from falling off your desk. In doing so, you also got a glimpse of what was shown on your computer screen.
Paimon had both her hands over her mouth, suggesting that she was the one who shouted in your face. Her eyes were dilated, looking frantically all around her. The Traveler was frozen in place behind her, their right arm stretched out towards Paimon.
"Uhhhh, [Y/N]?" Paimon quietly spoke up. "Are you okay?"
Given how clearly you heard Paimon from your headphones on the floor, you figured that part of the reason why you got so scared was because of how loud Paimon was.
Grabbing your headphones, you adjusted the volume before putting them back on.
"I'm alright," you assured her. "I just wasn't expecting that."
Your assurance worked as Paimon began smiling again. "Good! Paimon was worried that she accidentally scared you away again."
You softly chuckled. "Given how much I've been through already, it would take a lot more than that to scare me away."
Paimon happily nodded before flying back over to the Traveler. "Hey, [Y/N]," The Traveler greeted. "It's been a while hasn't it?"
"It has." you agree. "What's going on?"
The Traveler's smile grew. "Straight to the point, I see. In that case, I'll let you in on what Paimon and I have been looking into for the past couple of days."
You leaned back in your chair and propped your elbows on the armrests. You guessed that this was going to take a while to explain.
"Remember what I told you before we sent you back to your world?"
You thought back to that moment.
---------------------------------------------------------
"Do you mind doing a quick favor for me after we send you back to your world?" the Traveler asked.
You nodded. "Sure. What do you need me to do?"
"I need you to not come to Teyvat for a little while."
...
"...Huh?"
"I know it sounds weird but let me explain," the Traveler emphasized with a hand on their chest. "I'm planning on asking Albedo to see if he can strengthen the connection between our two worlds so that we don't have to communicate like this every time. Not only will it be easier, but I don't have to worry about anything going wrong with the summoning ritual."
You crossed your arms. "So why do I not need to log i-... excuse me, not come to Teyvat? That basically goes against the whole reason you summoned me here in the first place."
"I'm worried that any attempt to cross the gap will either damage or destroy the link we have so far. Additionally, Albedo works best when he's not distracted."
You shrugged your shoulders. "Fair enough. But when do you want me to come back?"
The Traveler switched to a thinking pose. "Give me a week at minimum. If nothing comes out of it, I'll summon you here again."
You nodded. "Okay, sounds good. Is that all?"
"That's all. Are you ready to head back now?"
You nodded again. Aether was quick to call Xiao's name and he arrived just a second later.
"Remember. One week from now." The Traveler reminded.
"I know, I know. I won't forget," you assured.
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"So you got it to work?"
The Traveler nodded. "I did. You should be able to see a noticeable difference from your previous visit."
"So that's what's happening..." you spoke in awe. "Everything looks so much more lively now! I'm even surprised that the computer I'm using can handle all of this."
"...Computer?" Paimon asked, confused.
"Sorry. It's the name of the device I use to get to Teyvat," you explained.
"Oh, THAT'S what its called!" Paimon exclaimed. "Interesting..."
You chuckled at her enthusiasm. "Yeah. I wish I could show you all how it works."
"Hopefully we'll be able to in the future," The Traveler butted in. "I'm happy with what we've accomplished so far, but I would be even happier if I could have you in Teyvat by my side constantly like Paimon."
You raised an eyebrow. "Doesn't Paimon literally disappear on the regular?"
"HEY! THAT'S NOT TRUE!"
... ... ...
"Oh wait..."
The Traveler laughed. "You know what I mean, [Y/N]."
"Hmph! You guys can make fun of Paimon all you want, but Paimon's been working on something as well!" She floated closer to you and pointed toward the top of your screen. "Go ahead and click on that button for Paimon, [Y/N]."
...
She was pointing at the wish button.
"You can see that?"
"Yep! Now Paimon's able to tell just what exactly you're doing at all times!"
Dear God, that sounds like a nightmare.
You clicked on the wish button. "You better not have done anyth-"
...
"WHAT HAPPENED TO MY PRIMOGEMS?????!!"
"Wait wait wait wait wait, don't panic!" Paimon frantically assured. "Having more is better, right?"
...
...
...
"...[Y/N]?"
"Shut it, Paimon. I'm checking my bank account for any suspicious purchases."
"Paimon did not steal any money from you! Paimon has no way of accessing them anyway!"
"Then why do I have..."
...
"DOES THAT SAY INFINITY????"
The Traveler could only rub the back of their head in embarrassment as their commotion attracted the attention of the majority of people passing by. After all, it wasn't all too common for a Seelie and a fairy to be shouting at each other.
"I don't get it..." you muttered. "There aren't any signs of fraud in my bank account."
"That's what I've been trying to tell you!" Paimon argued. "You should be more grateful. Paimon went through a lot to get those."
You sighed. Truly, Paimon was as unpredictable as ever. "You're right. You're right. Sorry."
"Apology accepted!" Paimon smiled. "Now, using your infinite supply of primogems, make a few wishes on one of the banners."
...How does Paimon understand what all of this is?
Regardless, you went ahead and wished for a ten-pull on the Standard Banner. There wasn't anyone or anything you were really aiming to pull on the character and weapon banners.
The animation played out as usual, the star starting out as blue before slowly turning into gold.
"Oh sweet! Thanks Paimon!"
"Don't thank Paimon just yet! There's plenty more where that came from~!"
The first wish flashed on the screen. "Jean! Finally, I got her!"
The second wish flashed on the screen. "Aquila Favonia?! Two golds back to back?! This is a moment in history! Take a picture!"
The third wish flashed on the screen...
...
...Another gold? That can't be right.
You're not one to judge your luck, but getting three gold items in a row sounds like a load of bull shit to you.
You pressed the skip button to see what the rest of the pulls looked like.
...
They were all gold.
"WHAT THE FUCK?!"
"I know right!" Paimon giggled excitedly. "Just wait until Paimon shows you the other banners!"
...
Paimon is going to get you banned by Hoyoverse, fan-fucking-tastic.
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THE END
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Author's Notes: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, surprise?
I will be honest, I've had this idea in my head for a while. It honestly could be it's own one-shot if I wanted to, but I felt like it would fit better as an epilogue for my main series.
That being said, if you don’t like this ending or like the previous one better, then go ahead and treat that one as the de facto ending.
Thanks again for all who liked, reblogged, and/or commented on this little series. I appreciate each and every one of you!
More stories to come soon! ...Hopefully.
#genshin impact sagau#genshin sagau#self aware genshin#genshin self aware#sagau x reader#sagau#sagau genshin#platonic genshin x reader#platonic#gn reader#gender neutral reader#genshin impact
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𝐆𝐎𝐈𝐍𝐆 𝐁𝐀𝐂𝐊
𝐀/𝐍: thank you all for more than 505 followers (see what i did there with the song?) have this as a token of my gratitude (this is superr long overdue, mb you guys)
𝐖/𝐂: around 2500
“Why? Why, Sukuna? Why the hell did you not pull away?” You failed to keep your voice down.
“Baby, please. Trust me, she flung herself on me. I–”
“So you didn't push her off?”
Sukuna raked his fingers through his hair, clearly exasperated and struggling to find the words to answer you. “Look — the last time I did that I almost got arrested for assault. And guess what? You yelled at me for that, too. You said, ‘Why would you do that? You couldn't have just told her to get off?’ So really, what did you want me to do this time?”
You covered your mouth to stifle your sobs, at this point, your mascara was completely ruined, running down your cheeks. “Okay, okay, I get it. I'm wrong, you're right.”
But I crumble completely when you cry
Sukuna turned away from you, scratching his neck. Your mascara was smudged along your cheeks, your tears dampening your eyelashes. He couldn't bear seeing you like this, not when he was the cause. Was it cruel of him to say, to believe, to think, that you were most beautiful this way?
“That wasn't my point, and you know that. You know that damn well, sweetheart.” Sukuna said — after a moment of silence — and turned back to face you, albeit he hesitated before meeting your glossy eyes.
“Then what was it? What was it, Sukuna? Tell me. Enlighten me.” You frantically wiped away your tears as they fell, and though desperate as you were, you were still too slow.
“. . .” Sukuna stared down at you with a stoic expression painted on his face. His gaze remained unwavering, though yours flickered throughout the room, seemingly unable to face him properly. If he knew better, he would realize it was only because you would start bawling immediately after meeting his crimson eyes.
It seems like once again you've had to greet me with goodbye
“Fine!” You threw your arms up, utterly defeated. You had no time for Sukuna's games. “Be that way; go have fun with all your other girls!” You stomped away, but decided — in the moment — to turn around for a second just to flip the pink-haired man off. “Burn in Hell, Sukuna, for all I care. I don't want to see your stupid, stupid face ever again.”
Sukuna sighed, his eyes burned holes into the back of your dress as you left him standing there. Standing there with nothing but his thoughts, dreams, and regrets. Standing there in the club alleyway. The same club alleyway that you pulled him away to so you could yell at him.
But it didn't feel like the same club alleyway, because Something was missing. Something very dear to him — but he was no better than a man.
I'm always just about to go and spoil the surprise
He was no better than a man. He didn't have the courage. He didn't have the brains. He didn't have the wit. He didn't have the assets. He didn't have anything that he had had with you. Not anymore, at least.
Take my hands off of your eyes too soon
He didn't have anything, because you were his everything. You were his light. His match. His flame. He didn't know what his point was. He didn't know. He didn't know. Because alas, he was no better than just a man. A man helplessly in love — with you.
So what would a man — helplessly in love with you — do? Perhaps he would visit your favorite jewelry brand and buy you an exquisite necklace. Maybe he would stop by a florist's shop and get you flowers. Or he could get you a baked good from the local bakery you like so much. And so, Sukuna — possibly being the most indecisive man alive — did all three of those things.
He purchased you a glimmering diamond necklace, a bouquet made up of your favorite flowers, and a cake of your favorite flavor.
Now, Sukuna was never a nervous nor self-doubting man, that was until he met you. He gets butterflies at the thought of you, though he'd never admit that. What could he say? He loved your laugh, the way your eyes crinkle as you do, your smile, your habit of tucking your hair behind your ear, your meticulousness when choosing earrings to match your outfit, your eyes — especially when they appeared to almost be glittering, he loved everything about you. But most importantly. . . He loved you. And that is why he sits in the driver's seat of his car, with his head in his hands and his back hunched over in thought.
He messed up. He messed up bad. And now he had to clean up the mess.
Fifteen minutes prior, his younger twin brother — Yuuji — had given him a pep talk, hyping him up. Yuuji knew how much you had helped Sukuna. He remembered the way Sukuna appeared happier, as if 100 pounds had been lifted off his shoulders — not that he would have any trouble carrying that weight — when Sukuna came home from your first date together. Yuuji saw the difference in Sukuna from that day on. Yuuji saw, Yuuji heard, and Yuuji felt the difference.
Albeit the younger twin could be a bit . . . dull, at times, Yuuji knew that you were what Sukuna needed most. If you had affected Sukuna so greatly when you came into his life, just think about the effects that would take place if you two separated. Yuuji got chills just thinking of that, which was why he was so desperate for his older brother to just rip off the bandaid, set his ego aside, and make amends.
I'm going back to 505
Sukuna was going back. He was going back to you . . . even if it was the last thing he would do. He finally raised his head from his hands and started the car. He was going to see you, apologize and explain how stupid he was being, and he was going to give you all the gifts he purchased. If his words couldn't satisfy you, he was going to spend the rest of his life proving himself to you with his credit card.
If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive
The drive to your apartment from his penthouse was only 3/4s of an hour, though it felt much longer as his dread grew and grew. It didn't matter how long, how far, how dangerous, the journey — he would always go back to his girl.
His girl.
That's what you were. That's what you are. That's what you will be — for as long as Sukuna lives. He would make sure of that.
The knife twists at the thought that I should fall short of the mark
But it didn't feel that way, certainly not when you opened the door with a frown on your face that only deepened as you immediately moved to close the door upon seeing the pink spikes of Sukuna’s hair. But he was already two steps ahead of you. He — already expecting that reaction — had quickly blocked you from closing the door by sticking his foot out between the door.
Frightened by the bite, though it's no harsher than the bark
“Sukuna. Didn't I tell you to never—!”
“Baby, please. Hear me out — for just a second.” Sukuna's lips were dry, his throat parched.
“Fine.” Your voice was barely above a whisper, he would've missed it if he was not as desperate as he was now.
Three days. It had been three days since you two had last spoken, in that damned alleyway. Three days of plain torture. Three days of sleepless nights. Three days without you. Three days of Hell.
God, he was so glad to hear your voice again; it was like music to his ears.
The middle of adventure, such a perfect place to start
You slowly pulled the door back and took a step backward, silently giving Sukuna your consent for him to enter. However, he didn't feel deserving of it, so he stayed in his position.
“Look, this is probably a waste of your time—”
“It is.”
He shoved the gifts into your hands.
“Oh? What's this?” You raised a brow, digging your hand through the bags to investigate, but Sukuna cleared his throat and you met his eyes.
“I want to apologize, for what I said and for how I acted. I'm really, really sorry. You know I'm not the best with these kinds of things, but, I really am. Believe me. And . . . I wasn't in the right state of mind, I was already a few drinks in — y’know that — and I know that's not an excuse but, I just. . . I'm sorry, okay? I haven't slept a wink since you left. And I was a fucking coward: I should've done this earlier but I didn't. So—please, forgive me.”
You didn't say anything, averting your gaze to the ground at your feet, and still processing his words. You mulled over what he had said in your head.
“Say something. Anything. Please.” Sukuna was so close to getting on his hands and knees that it was almost embarrassing.
“Sukuna, I don't know what to tell you. I believe you're sorry but I. . . I'm not ready to forgive you, not yet. It's just a lot, y’know? I mean, if you were in my shoes right now, you would feel the same way—”
“That's why I'm apologizing.” Sukuna cut you off, his desperation quickly turning into agitation.
“Yes, I get that, but . . . I'm just not ready to forgive you yet. I'm not ready to just push this aside and move on. I'm not . . . ready — for any of that.” Your eyes softened, as did your tone.
Despite his desperate pleads, you couldn't bring yourself to just forget the whole ordeal and why he was apologizing in the first place. But Sukuna was no better than a man. He had no clue why you felt this way. The only thing he's known in life was to move on. That's what he does and will do. That's why he is the way he is. That's why.
“Do you even want this relationship to last? Can't you see I'm trying to fix this problem?”
“I do, Sukuna. I really do. Couples fight and have arguments. It's normal. It's what we're doing right now. But just because it's normal doesn't mean I'm going to brush it aside as if it didn't happen.”
“Are you out of your—!? Do you have any idea how many girls would like to be in your spot right now? Do you have ANY idea?” By now, Sukuna had completely lost it. He was frustrated, so frustrated. He didn't understand what more you wanted from him.
“I—Sukuna, what?”
“Have you any idea? Any idea at all?”
You would be lying if you said you weren't scared, utterly afraid of the man standing before you right now. For you could see nothing past his eyes, no love, no care, nothing. Only the deep, rich crimson color that you once loved and held so dear to your heart.
“You know what? Good for you. Good for you that you have so many other better options but you chose me. Good. For. You. I guess you don't need me anymore. Goodbye, Sukuna.”
You slammed the door [shut] in Sukuna's face, falling with your back against it seconds later and bringing your knees to your chest. The waterworks started soon after and Sukuna could hear your quiet sobs from beyond the door.
He was dumbfounded, absolutely appalled. Did he really just say that to you? Sukuna knew he was not the brightest, but, damn, he's really done it this time.
Sukuna ran his fingers through his hair, now sitting in his car. He definitely did not mean to say what he said. In fact, he didn't even know how it slipped out. One second he was basically on his knees for you and the next, he . . . wasn't. Seriously, what the hell is wrong with me? He thought. He continued to sit there, reflecting on his actions and words. But he still couldn't believe it. What the fuck just happened?
He came to your apartment hoping to salvage the remnants of your guys' relationship, but he ended up ruining it — forever. Sukuna was 100% sure this was the worst fuckup in the history of mankind.
But he couldn't just leave it like this. He could still fix this, right? Alas, Sukuna had lost all hope; he lost his mind; and he lost the love of his life.
“Shit,” Sukuna muttered. He had really lost it, he thought, as he walked back to your apartment door. He had really lost it, he thought, when he spared a glance at your apartment number.
I'm going back to 505
That was the whole point of this, right? He was going back — no matter what, right?
When you look at me like that, my darlin', what did you expect?
He had really lost it, he thought, when he saw your glossy — yet still absolutely mesmerizing eyes after reluctantly answering the door, waiting for Sukuna to say something, anything. Anything at all. But he didn't. He didn't say anything at all. He had really lost it, he thought, when he pulled you in for the most zealous kiss he had ever experienced that left you gasping for air. His lips slotted against yours, moving fervently simultaneously. Albeit, he pulled away rather quickly — afraid of what he had just done.
I'd probably still adore you with your hands around my neck
Mere seconds after Sukuna pulled back, you moved your hand so quickly — that Sukuna didn't even notice at first — and slapped him. Hard. You slapped him hard as fuck. But then you did something that surprised the pink-haired man even more. You embraced him in a hug, and a tight one at that.
“Hug me back, dumbass.” You quipped.
Or I did last time I checked
“You just slapped me.” He hugged you back, nevertheless, wrapping his arms around your figure. Because, he had to admit, it was kinda hot [getting slapped].
“Duh. ‘Cause you're such a loser.”
A pause of silence occured, before Sukuna spoke up.
“I didn't mean what I said,” Sukuna murmured against your hair. He had longed for this moment. God, you made him so soft sometimes.
“I know.”
“I'm sorry.”
“I know.”
“I missed you.”
“You never stop talking, do you.”
“To you? Never.”
I'm going back to 505
If it's a seven hour flight or a forty-five minute drive
In my imagination, you're waitin' lyin' on your side
With your hands between your thighs and a smile
Taglist: @starlets-things @sad-darksoul @mochimoee @r0ckst4rjk @lillycore @deepchromatose @yinyinyinyinyinyin @fivehoneyharg @desihopelessromantic @lich1 @hannas16 @acroso @msvalsius
#sukuna x reader#ryomen x reader#sukuna x you#jjk x reader#jjk x you#sukuna fluff#sukuna angst#with a happy ending#sukuna#em writes ˎˊ˗
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Playing Favourites V
Leah Williamson x Child!Reeader
Summary: The Euros
The day before the final, you're in tears.
It's all Leah's fault and she sobs too.
They'd had some morning training before Sarina had sent them all off to spend time with their family before the match tomorrow. Leah had slipped out of the hotel as soon as she could, passing Alessia and her little sister on the way and then bumped into Mary taking her own little sister to a café.
It seems that everyone had the same idea to hang out with their little siblings because Leah had that idea too, collecting you from Mum and immediately taking you to the park.
You're still tiny and your little legs get very tired so Leah carries you most of the way until she can sit you on her lap on the swings.
You really like the swings, giggling every time Leah pumps her legs and goes a bit higher.
She doesn't see you too much but it's safe to say that you're still in that stage where you absolutely adore her. You're still at that point where everything Leah does is hysterically funny and cool and you want to do exactly what she's doing, no matter how small you actually are.
Which is probably why you don't tell her that she's pushing you too fast on the roundabout. It's going very quickly and it makes your head all dizzy.
Leah keeps pushing it faster and faster and faster though and your tight little grip on the bars loosens and you shoot off it like a rocket.
The roundabout is still spinning as Leah stares in horror at your little crumpled body. You sit up, bottom lip wobbling and promptly burst into tears.
She swears and leaps into action, brushing the dirt off your clothes before checking your head.
You've got a cut on your forehead. It's not bad or anything, it's barely bleeding but you whine and sob every time she touches it.
"I'm sorry, bean," She coos to you as you try to bat her hand away," Just a second. Just a little more. You're being so big and strong."
Leah's digging in the little backpack she packed for you and pulls out that most outrageously big plaster she can find before sticking it firmly to your head.
You sniffle. "Kiss better," You order.
"You want me to kiss it better?"
"Magic healing kisses," You say," Like Mummy's."
"Okay, bean," Leah says, pursing her lips," Are you ready? Here comes Leah's magic healing kisses." She presses multiple all over the plaster and then several more over your cheeks until you are no longer crying.
"Play more?" You ask, pointing over at the slide and Leah winces at the idea of you falling off it.
She shakes her head. "Let's go meet up with Mum. We're having lunch with her, remember?"
You huff but allow yourself to be led away by Leah before you're hefted up into her arms when another bolt of guilt jolts down her spine at the plaster on your head.
"Oh, what happened, little bean?" Your mummy asks when you both join her at the restaurant.
"Fell," You say with a little shrug, completely over it now as you draw all over your puzzle page," On spiny thing. Splat on the ground."
"I spun it too fast," Leah says sadly when your attention is fully on your drawing again," And she got flung off it. She was bleeding, Mum. It was terrible. She was crying."
"She's little," Her Mum says," She cries when she's a particularly cute puppy. It was probably shock, Leah. She's fine now and that's what matters."
"It was my fault. I'm such a bad sister."
"Leah, you're a good sister. You had today off and what did you do? You decided to take Bean to the park. You're a good sister. She adores you."
Leah isn't really convinced but she settles as you blindly reach out for another crayon.
"Bean, did you have fun at the park with Leah?"
You didn't look up at your mummy's question but you do nod your head. "Played on swings," You say as you scrawl the yellow on the Leah stick figure you've drawn," And fed ducks. Got ouchy but Leah did magic kisses so all better."
"That's nice," Your mummy says," Now, do you know what you want for lunch yet?"
You're on Leah's mind all throughout the match the next day, all the way until the final whistle and all throughout the medal ceremony.
"Look, bean!" Leah says as she pulls you over the barrier.
"Medal!"
"It is!" Leah laughs. She wraps an England flag around your shoulders, tying the corners together so it's like a cape. "Here, put it on."
She slips it over your head and you poke at it, the sudden weight around your neck feels a little weird but Leah is beaming so you smile too.
You don't leave her arms for the entirety of the pitch side celebrations, even when you completely crash out against her. Further up the pitch, Leah can spy Mary swinging her own little sister around while Alessia's little sister is kicking a ball around with her and Ella.
You're exhausted though, knocked out cold in Leah's arms with her medal still around your neck and the plaster from yesterday still stuck firmly across your forehead.
"Hey, man," Leah says as one of the photographers walks past," Do you mind?"
She beams at the camera, adjusting her grip on you so your sleeping face can be seen properly.
It takes a few hours for her to get sent the photo to her phone but it immediately becomes her Instagram profile picture and her lock screen.
It gets hung up in her locker too, so everyone can see you and her together.
#woso x reader#leah williamson x reader#leah williamson#woso community#woso imagine#woso fanfics#woso
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I've always been yours // Eddie Munson
Prompt: "I think... I'm in love with him.” "Congrats on being the last one to find out" + the 5 ways to say I love you without saying I love you.
wc: 14K (I'm learning what brevity means y'all)
warnings: female reader, some implied sexual stuff towards the end but not really ish, friends-to-lovers, oblivious idiots in love, the beginnings of rockstar eddie.
Masterlist || AO3
1. Covering sharp edges with their hands, so you don’t get hurt.
You were going to get Max’s birthday cake absolutely perfect even if it fucking killed you, you thought to yourself as your arm ached the harder you mixed the batter.
“Are you sure you don’t need any help Nov?” Eddie asked again.
Pushing the hair out of your eyes with the back of your wrist, you huffed. “I’m okay. I think I adjusted the recipe perfectly this time. I just need to make sure there’s no lumps or the chocolate won’t-”
“I’M GOING TO FUCKING KILL YOU WHEELER!” You heard Dustin yell from the basement.
Eddie snorted. “Ten bucks on Mike,” he said from his place on the counter.
“I’m telling Dustin you said that,” you said, turning from your batter and shooting him a playful look over your shoulder.
He clasped his imaginary pearls dramatically. “Fair maiden, you dare betray our sacred friendship?”
Not able to keep your laugh down, you shook your head. Loud stomping alerted you to the shift of location of whatever fight was happening.
“Do not come into the kitchen with your shit!” You shouted.
Dustin’s voice floated in from the living room. “But Mike-”
“But Mike nothing!” You shouted. “You two shitheads work it out!”
“I didn’t do it on purpose!” Mike shouted, grunting right after. “Ow! Dustin!”
Eddie immediately huffed out laughter. “I’d listen to her, she’s on her fifth batch. Her face is getting whiter and whiter with each cake.”
Your hand flew up to your face, fingers coming back dusted in flour. Turning your glare to his grinning face, you rolled your eyes. “You couldn’t have told me?”
“And ruin how cute you look with all that flour on your face?” Eddie said, nonchalantly going back to the book in his hands. Doing your best to ignore the flustered expression you knew was growing on your face, you turned back to the batter. Eddie always managed to draw out reactions from you, you were sure that was the main reason why he kept doing it.
I like unnerving you he’d said. Asshole, you thought fondly, glancing at him. A good chunk of flour dusted down towards your hands at the motion. Christ, how much flour was on your face?
“I’m going to slap you the second I put this into a pan,” you threatened, trying to get it all off.
Eddie’s grin morphed into something more. “Promises, promises,” he winked.
And there went the butterflies in your stomach.
You opened your mouth to say something else when a blur of curly hair, black shirts, and a flying white shoe flung the kitchen door open.
“Guys,” Eddie warned, placing his book down.
“For fuck’s sake, what’s wrong now?” You said, putting the bowl down onto the kitchen island and stepping towards them with your hands on your hips.
Dustin was the quickest to speak up. “He borrowed the comic that I just managed to get and got it wet!”
“It wasn’t on purpose!” Mike shouted back. “I swear, Holly was eating at the table and spilled her soda!”
“Likely story!” Dustin snapped, eyes narrowing. “You’re doing it because I accidentally broke your figurines last week. I didn’t want to hit that pothole and go flying!”
“For the love of- it wasn’t on purpose!”
Dustin’s arms swung out and Mike darted left to avoid being hit. Before they could even crash together, you knew exactly what was going to happen.
As if in slow motion, you watched as Dustin shoved Mike’s arm into the mixing bowl. Without much prompting, your perfect batter, went tumbling off the island and flew with a vengeance in a million different directions. The opened bag of flour next to it, toppled right after it.
The silence as the bowl wobbled to a stop was painful. You blinked, shocked for a few seconds and nodded dumbly.
Well, that hurt more than the demobats clawing at your neck in the Upside Down.
“I’m going to rip your spines out and play jump rope with it,” you said calmly, eye twitching, at Mike and Dustin. The flour was splattered everywhere, including your new vans and the crevices no one was ever able to clean in the cracks of the linoleum.
The two idiots shuffled closer to the door. At least they had the decency to look somewhat mortified. Before you could go through with your threat, Eddie’s hands came down to their necks and they both winced.
“Dudes, not cool,” he said, voice uncharacteristically serious. “She said don’t come into the kitchen for a reason. Now she’s gotta wait until you two assholes clean this all up before starting again.”
“Wha-” “But!”
Their protests quickly died down when he smacked them in the back of their heads.
“You break it, you fix it,” he said.
Hiding a smile, you rounded the island towards the rag by the sink and sighed. “Try to hurry, I want to get this decorated before midnight,” you said to the two apologetic teens who were already moving towards the mess.
Pushing the door out into the dining room you tried your best not to trek batter anywhere. Swiping the rag down your face and hair to get rid of any remaining flour you leaned down to help save your vans.
A sudden hand flying out towards your face made you flinch back. Falling onto your butt, you groaned as your hip smacked into the leg of the table.
Eddie shook his head, a soft expression on his face. Your eyes trailed down to where his hand was curled around the corner of the dining table. “Did I almost go face first into that?” You asked from where you were sprawled.
“Yeah, Nova, you almost cracked your skull,” he said, huffing a laugh. “I’d tell you to be more careful but it’d be a waste of breath.” Eddie tugged the rag out your hand and sat down by your feet.
“I-I am insulted.” The indignation cancelled out by the stammering. Eddie had picked up one of your, now dirty, sneakers and plopped it into his lap. He went about meticulously cleaning the chocolate off. “I can do that. You don’t have to-”
His brown eyes darted up to yours, silencing you. “I know I don’t have to; I want to.”
Mildly surprised, and a little flustered by his earnest tone, you nodded dumbly. By the time he was done, there was a pink tinge to his cheeks that you found stupidly endearing.
“There you go fair maiden. Good as new.” He bowed, dropping the rag onto the table. He offered his hand and pulled you up with a firm grip.
Warmth bloomed in your chest at the sight of his wide smile and soft gaze. “Thanks Eddie,” you said, smiling up at him.
He tossed an arm around your shoulders and pulled you towards the kitchen. “Come on, let’s go give them a little more hell,” he whispered, his breath tickling your ear.
Not one to resist, you beamed up at him and nodded. “Dibs on Mike,” you said, laughing when he did.
2. Covering you with a blanket when you look cold.
You met Eddie when you were in middle school but, you hadn’t really become friends until freshman year of high school. You were a cheerleader, one of the few freshmen on the team, and you’d caught Tommy Hagan cornering Eddie in a hallway.
You hadn’t hesitated at the sight of the stupid bully and had thrown your pompoms at his head. With a promise of a Herkie to the face, Tommy and his entourage had left you alone.
“Are you okay?” You asked him, bending over to pick up your tossed pompoms.
Eddie, however, hadn’t looked like he was two seconds away from being shoved into a locker. He was beaming. At you.
“What?” You asked, looking around at the empty hallway. “Do I have something on my face?”
“No, I just…didn’t ever think that my knight in shining armor would be a cheerleader,” he said, tone teasing.
Biting back a smile, you crossed your arms. “Why? Because we’re vapid and only care about our hair?” You cocked your hip.
“No,” Eddie said, straightening, “I swear, that’s not what I-”
Not able to help it, you burst out into laughter. “I’m fucking with you,” you said, hiding your laugh behind your hand. “I know Tommy’s little sister and she basically rules his household. He knows not to mess with her.”
Eddie smiled and you’d realized that he had a really nice smile. With a flourish, he bowed. “Well, I’m in your debt knight.”
Scrunching your nose, you shook your head. “Not a fan of the nickname?” He asked, starting towards the exit doors. Walking backwards, he drifted closer to you. “What about Nova?”
“What?” You laughed, surprised. “How’d you go from Knight to Nova?”
“Well, you’re my knight in shining armor – what’s brighter than a supernova?”
Throwing your head back, your laugh echoed down the hallway. You’d quickly become friends.
“Novaaaa, come on,” Eddie groaned, flopping down onto the sofa, “just pick a movie.” Clearly, almost a decade later, the nickname had stuck.
“Don’t rush me!” You told him, eyeing the three tapes in front of you. “Which one do you want to watch?”
Eddie’s head lolled back around to you and he smiled. “It’s your turn to pick,” he reminded you.
“I know, but-”
“Just put on Grease,” Eddie said, voice muffled by the pillow. You were about to protest, what an absolutely rude assumption, when a knock echoed from Eddie’s front door. “Pizza’s here. Pick a movie!”
Sighing, knowing that he’d had a bad week, you pushed Indiana Jones into the VCR. The smell of hot pizza wafted over to you and your stomach immediately roared – reminding you that you hadn’t had enough time to eat before your shift.
“Alright, alright, I heard you,” Eddie said, motioning to your stomach. He brought the box over, handing you some water and frowned at the television. “What’s this?”
“Indianamph Jonesah,” you said, around a mouthful of steaming pizza. You were going to miss your tastebuds but goddamn if it wasn’t a great mouthful.
Eddie rolled his eyes, pulled the tape out and shoved Grease in. Dodging your flailing arm, he dropped to the floor by the coffee table, his shoulder brushing your knee.
The opening music started and you found your eyes drawn to the screen. “What the hell?”
“I got that because I know you like to watch one of the same five movies after a long shift,” he said, picking up his own slice.
“But-”
He bumped your leg with his shoulder. “It was your turn to pick, I promise – I don’t mind. Besides, it’s starting to grow on me. It’s definitely better than Overboard.”
“Hey, that’s a good movie!”
Eddie rolled his eyes. “Right, and I’m Ozzy Osbourne.”
“Well,” you said with a smile growing, “you had the chance to bite off a bat’s head but you wasted that opportunity.”
Choking on his mouthful of pizza, Eddie laughed and shot you a soft look. “I’m glad my brush with death is something you can laugh about now.”
“Yeah, well, it’s been almost a year. Thought it was about time we all started joking about almost dying,” you said, “besides, Max started it.”
“I’ve never met another person with such morbid humor,” Eddie said, eyes following Danny and Sandy as they kissed on the beach. A flash of something shot through you but you ignored it.
You shrugged despite the fact that you knew he couldn’t see it. “I’m kinda proud of her for having it,” you said, bopping your head to the music you knew by heart.
I solve my problems and I see the light
We gotta loving thing, we gotta feed it right
Eddie turned to you suddenly, his eyes shifting. “Yeah, I’m proud of all of us.”
You grinned at him, dropping your plate onto the table and getting comfortable on Eddie’s couch. It was one of his better purchases – Wayne had chosen to accept the new trailer the state had bought him while Eddie had moved into a small one bedroom downtown. It made more sese considering it was close to the music store you both worked at.
“I’m not pausing the movie if you knock out,” he warned as you fluffed the pillow behind your head.
“I’m not going to fall asleep, when am I ever the one who knocks out first?”
Eddie shot you a look. “Did you want me to bring out a list or?”
Smacking the back of his head, he ducked and laughed when you half missed your target. “Alright, alright, I’m missing the good stuff.”
“I knew you liked this movie,” you said, nudging him with your knee. Eddie shot you a withering glare, or he tried to, because you laughed at his attempt. Amused, his eyes drifted to over your head and you were about to turn when something dropped into your lap.
Eddie pulled the crocheted blanket over your legs and let it pool around your waist. The black and white blanket had been gifted to Eddie by Robin. She’d decided she was going to learn to crochet last year and spent the entire months leading up to Christmas lost in her projects. Your green scarf was hanging with your jacket by the door. You loved this blanket and you knew Eddie did too – it was always draped across the sofa for easy access.
“My place gets cold at night,” he said at your questioning look, “you know that. Besides, you’ll make it an hour before knocking out.”
The sweet gesture was overshadowed by his smug look and your hand jutted out to hit any part of him you could reach. “I’m not going to fall asleep.”
Both of you went back and forth, poking fun, and as you watched Danny ignore Sandy for Cha-Cha, you heard Eddie snort.
“What?” You asked, tapping your fingers along to the beat.
“I just always thought it was funny how he leaves her behind, he just goes with it,” he said.
You pointed to the cameras. “They’re on live television,” you explained sleepily.
“So?” Eddie raised his brow. “Are you defending him?”
“Of course not!” Why was this couch so comfortable? The blanket moved around you, warm hands tucking it over your shoulders and sighing when you snuggled into it.
Eddie’s knowing smile went a little fuzzy around the edges as your eyes felt harder and harder to keep open. Before you could formulate a comeback, the exhaustion of the day pulled you under. As you were entirely lost to the world, you heard Eddie murmur, “I would never leave you behind.”
3. Holding your hand when you’re falling apart.
Four years of cheerleading practice had not prepared you for what it truly meant to run for your life. Not really.
It stood to reason that you’d really never had to run from an interdimensional monster before – up until your employment at The Gap. Honestly, it was The Gap’s fault.
You’d met Robin at the first Hawkins Middle School band practice as small seventh graders. Her mom had told her she needed to get a job for the summer and she’d dragged you along with her. She had gotten hired at Scoops Ahoy and, in your defense, who was going to say no to a daily free ice cream? So, if you really thought about it – it was Scoop’s fault. And Robin’s.
The moment you saw Steve ‘The Hair’ Harrington behind the counter, you should’ve turned the other way. But no, Robin was absolutely sure he’d changed. You snorted. Sure, he’d changed. Having all your friends drop you towards the end of your senior year would humble anyone. You’d been close enough to the source when the downfall of The Hair happened. It hadn’t been pretty. Especially after Nancy Wheeler decided to stick by Jonathan.
While he hadn’t been one of the few who liked to remind you of your low spot on the totem pole, he definitely wasn’t Mother Theresa. You’d seen how his friends treated Eddie’s friends – people who they deemed outcasts. Eddie had only been mostly spared because you two were practically fused at the hip. Besides, he knew that Nancy liked you – the two of you had hung out before considering you’d both been close friends with Barb. While you and her weren’t best friends, you knew he didn’t want to mess with anyone Nancy liked. Which, really, made him a selfish, self-centered asshole. And anyway, you’d seen what he’d spray painted onto the theater header.
It wasn’t until you saw him with Dustin, one of your favorite neighbors, that you’d conceded. How could someone who clearly held a middle schooler up to such high standards be that bad? Besides, Dustin was a kid – but you trusted him. Robin, of course, still held that against you to this day.
To be fair, Steve himself hadn’t won you over until he’d taken hit after hit to keep you and Robin as safe as possible. Russians in a secret lab under Starcourt injecting you with truth serum was not something you’d had on your 1985 bingo card.
You still remembered how Steve had grabbed each of your wrists so tightly that it’d taken weeks for the bruises to fade. He’d practically tossed you both under a massive table when the Mind Flayer had landed mid-food court. Robin clutched at your shoulders, Steve a steadying presence behind you.
He’d waited, for hours, as the EMTs cleared all of you outside the burning mall. And while you’d hoped that this was the last time any of your friends, new or old, had tried to save you – clearly that had been wishful thinking.
The muscles in your arms burned as you hauled yourself through the gate. Breath knocked out of you as you landed on your back, you glanced up to see Eddie’s hands stilling on the makeshift rope.
“Come on!” Dustin screamed. “Eddie come on!”
A flash of something crossed his expression and you knew. You knew he was going to do something stupid.
“Eddie!” You screamed, voice cracking in your desperation. His wide eyes struck yours and you knew the moment he’d decided. “Don’t you fucking dare! Edward Munson, you listen to me right now. Climb this fucking rope.”
“I’m sorry Nov,” he said, staring up at you with a sad smile. Without thinking, you scrambled to throw yourself down the gate but the rope dropped by your feet, cut from the source. “I love you. Take care of Dustin,” he said, eyes sincere and apologetic.
“Eddie!” You both screamed, voices hoarse.
Panic clawed at your chest. You couldn’t breathe – he was…he was going to get himself fucking killed. Spurring into action, Dustin pushed you aside as he grunted from the effort of pushing the dining table towards the middle of the room. “Come on! Those things will kill him, we gotta get back!”
Not one to be told twice, you shoved a few pieces of furniture on top of the table for good measure. You climbed up to the gate, barely able to touch the edges. Adrenaline rushed through you as you looked down to Dustin. “Give me a boost, I can almost reach it!”
Without hesitating, Dustin kneeled, hands on your calves and you used his knee to hoist yourself up. You didn’t have much time to adjust yourself but you channeled every tumbling move you’d ever done and tried to tuck and roll. Mostly successful, you only winced as your shoulder collided painfully with the metal chair.
“Okay, I’ll be right back!”
“You can’t just fucking leave me here!” Dustin shouted. You pointed up at him with all the authority you could muster.
“Try to tie more sheets together, the others will need help climbing through when they come back,” you glared at him, “don’t do anything stupid Henderson.”
Not waiting for a response, you kicked the trailer door open and scanned the field. A tornado of bats and a loud, heartbreaking, scream cut through you.
“Fuck, fuck, fuck, you fucking idiot,” you said, panicking as you ran. You watched as the bats took turns diving for him, his spear barely keeping them back.
“Come on!” He screamed into the eye of the storm. Because of course he did. The idiot. You willed your legs to run faster, to just get you there so you could help. Then, they struck. Eddie’s hands whipped up to his throat and you watched him slam into the floor.
“Eddie!” You screamed, throat raw, but it was drowned out by the screeching bats. A flash of Billy being impaled, lifted into the air, and thrown like a ragdoll bubbled up to your consciousness. No, please, you begged, not Eddie, not him.
Slowing as you neared, you pulled the gun from around your shoulders and squared them like Hopper had taught you. The shots echoed despite the chaos, your blood rushing through your body. “Get away from him!” You shrieked, fighting your way through the opening you’d created.
You slipped on the unmoving body of the ones you’d shot down and slid directly into an motionless Eddie. Covering his body with your own, you raised your gun as they swooped down. Almost out of bullets, you’d just hit another when one managed to swipe you from the side – claws digging into your skin. Screaming, you waved the gun like Steve’s bat and swatted as many as you could out the air.
Shit, you couldn’t keep this up. There were too many.
Then, as if puppets that were cut, they all dropped to the floor. One slammed into your bad shoulder painfully and you cried out.
“Nov?”
The weak voice was like beacon and you quickly slid to the ground. You weren’t going to question your good luck. Pulling the leather jacket off his chest your heart dropped down next to the dead demobats and you immediately started to cry.
“That bad huh?” He joked, voice wet as blood poured out his mouth.
“You absolute fucking asshole. You dickhead,” you berated him as you tied your own cargo jacket around the gash in his stomach. Rising to your knees, you quickly pulled your belt off your waist and made a tourniquet around his upper thigh. Your hands were drenched in blood and you forced the bile down. Focus, you need to stop the bleeding. You needed to get him back to the trailer, you yelled at yourself.
“Hey, hey, it’s okay,” Eddie’s weak hand came up to your forearm and your heart creaked as the cracks deepened. “It’ll be okay.”
“No it won’t you fucking moron, you’re my best friend – I – can’t watch you die. I won’t,” you said, hauling him onto your lap. You tried to stand but your shoulder immediately gave and you both crashed to the ground.
A sob wrenched it’s way out your throat, helpless and willing your shoulder to work. Just this time, please, please, you begged.
“Nova,” Eddie’s voice trailed off, weaker than before.
Cradling his stupid face, your hands left streaks of blood on his pale skin. Shaking, your fingers caressed his jaw. The brown eyes, more familiar to you than your own, slowly started to fade.
“Eddie, stay with me, someone’s coming okay – it’s going to be okay,” you said, entire body clinging to his.
“I-I told you this was my year,” he said, blood tricking down. His unseeing eyes searched for you, like they always did, and you realized that you wouldn’t survive this. Eddie was going to fade from existence, the entire town thinking him a murderer, and this would finally be the storm that broke you.
“I can’t live without you,” you stammered, words bubbling up in rapid succession, you had things you needed to say – stuff you needed to do with him still. You were supposed to have time – it wasn’t supposed to end this way. Jaw aching as you bit down your anguish, you pressed a kiss to his forehead and he sighed. “Eddie, please,” you begged, unashamed and desperate.
Take me, you begged the dark skies that mocked you, anyone but him.
“I l-love-” he gagged, choking on his own blood and you pressed your forehead against his.
“Sh, sh, it’s okay, I’m here Eddie. I’m here. I know. Me too,” you said, tongue sticking to the roof of your mouth. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry.”
Sorry you weren’t fast enough, sorry you couldn’t save him, sorry for having to be the one to watch him die. Eddie’s hand came up to your wrist, squeezing once before dropping limp.
The silence around you was deafening. No, no, no, no.
You screamed, anguished, and the pain unbearable. Anger coursed through you, mixing with your overwhelming grief. It crashed into you from all angles, its hands grabbing onto you and pulling you under. Your throat hurt but you couldn’t stop screaming, all of you couldn’t stop screaming in the unfairness of it all.
“Eddie?” A voice shouted through the darkness. You whipped your head up, searching through the night for the voice.
“Steve?” You called out tentatively, hand reaching for your discarded gun. Was this a trick? You scanned your surroundings, vision blurry. No, you steeled yourself, this place had already taken everything from you – they couldn’t have his body too.
Swinging the gun towards the quick footsteps, you ignored your trembling arms.
“Hey, hey! Wait, it’s me,” Steve said, hands up. He stepped in front of Robin, his eyes on the still body behind you.
Eyes wild, you blinked away your constant tears, and loosened the hold on your gun. “Stevie?”
“It’s me, it’s me – I promise,” he said, hand coming out to take your shotgun. Handing it to Nancy, he pulled you into his arms. “What happened?” He winced when he saw your skin bleeding sluggishly.
“Eddie?” Robin whispered, dropping to her knees beside him.
Willing yourself to keep it together you nodded towards the house. “What happened?”
“He’s dead, we got him – Nance got him. It’s over.”
Feeling weak, you leaned on Nancy’s outstretched arm and watched as Steve dropped to examine him.
“He’s – he – cut the rope – I tried, my shoulder – it, oh God,” you said, scrambling towards the nearest wall and throwing up everything in your stomach. A warm hand came up to your back, rubbing it back and forth until your heaving stopped.
“I got you,” Nancy said, “I’m here, it’s okay. I’m here for you.”
He was dead. Eddie was gone. Nothing would ever be okay again.Your blood-soaked hands reached out and she clasped them. Eyes on yours, strong and steady, she nodded. “You’re okay. I’ve got you.”
“Nance,” your voice sounded warped. “I tried.”
She shushed you, bringing your arm over her shoulders and taking most of your weight as you crumbled. You watched as Robin and Steve grabbed him, moving quickly towards the trailer.
“What? Where are you going?” Nancy shouted.
Robin grunted under the weight as she climbed the steps. “He’s got a pulse! The tourniquets are holding! We gotta move fast!”
.
Coincidentally, the nearest hospital to Forest Park was at the town line one over. Robin had assured you that since it wasn’t Hawkins, they weren’t likely to recognize him instantly. Worry for Max joined your overwhelming weight as you glanced at the destruction the earthquake had wreaked. “Do you think he got her?” You asked, voice barely audible.
“I killed him as the clock was chiming,” Nancy said, “it only rang three times. I’ll call when we get to the hospital – they’ll be okay. We’re all okay. We have to be.”
After admitting Eddie, a concerned nurse offered you a pair of scrubs to change into. Glancing down at your clothes, you realized you were covered in blood. Eddie’s blood.
Tearing up, her eyes had softened incredibly and she helped you wash it off. “It’ll all work out honey, you’ll see,” she whispered as the blood dribbled down the drain. You’d barely felt the needle as she stitched the claw marks on your chest and neck.
It’d taken an hour of arguing but you promised the others you could keep it together for the night as they drove back to Hawkins to figure out what was going on. Robin had kissed the top of your now clean hair, and clasped her hands with yours. “I will be back as soon as I can, okay? As fast as I can.” The fierceness in her tone had your eyes tearing up again and she hugged you tightly.
Five hours after being admitted, with no news, you received the second shock of the night.
“Hopper?” You sputtered, almost bowled over to see the ghost of your old Chief of police.
Head shaved, a few pounds lighter, but the smile that came from hearing your voice was just the same. “Hey kid,” he said, bringing you into a tight hug.
It took another hour, and the arrival of just about everyone you knew, for a nurse to let you know that Eddie had stabilized. They’d needed to operate to stop the internal bleeding, he’d needed a few blood transfusions and was placed into a medically induced coma, but he’d be alright.
“He’s…he’ll be okay?” You asked, not willing to cling onto any false hope.
The nurse from earlier stepped forward, her kind eyes wrinkled as she smiled. “Yeah, honey, he’ll be okay.”
Swallowing back your tears, you pulled her into a hug. “Thank you.”
Two hours later, while you sat glued to his side, Hopper let you know that Eddie was cleared of all charges.
“Do you want to know?” He asked.
Shaking your head, you smiled up at him for the first time in the last twelve hours. The sun peaked out from the horizon, drenching Eddie’s dark room in a warm orange light. “I don’t care how. Just – thank you.”
Hopper ruffled your hair and you leaned into his touch like cat arching for more affection. “They’ll want your statement but not until a few days from now. As far as you know, you were over Robin’s with Steve for the entire night. Her neighbor, Mrs. Matthews has already said she could corroborate your alibi.”
Smiling, you nodded. “I don’t even want to know what the U.S. government had on her.”
“You don’t,” he agreed.
It took Eddie another day to wake up. Wayne had finally convinced you to go get something to eat, I won’t leave his side sweetheart, I promise.
You balanced the two coffees in your hand as you pushed open the door to Eddie’s room. Surprised to see the entire party surrounded by the bed, you blinked, a little taken aback.
Dustin was the first to catch your eye, his grin so wide it almost split his face in two. “Eddie’s awake!” Your eyes darted to the bed, the man in it grinning up at a tearful Wayne.
“You absolute asshole,” you hissed, not able to keep it down.
The party laughed, Steve shaking his head. “Hi Nova,” Eddie said, voice hoarse, and you felt your stomach swoop as those eyes met yours. “I’m sorry.”
“You better be,” you said, handing Wayne his coffee. He promised to be back, wanting to speak to the doctor. The moment the door closed; chaos reigned. Everyone talked over each other and you watched, amused. Sipping your coffee, you smacked Lucas’ shoulder as he made fun of something Mike said.
Steve’s whistle was loud enough to pierce several eardrums and you winced. “One at time! The man just woke up from a coma.”
“Medically induced coma,” Mike clarified.
You fought the urge to smack him too.
Despite the severity of what brought Eddie to the hospital, after a week – he was given the all clear. The party was at Eddie’s new trailer, decorating the larger space for his homecoming. You’d been tasked to watch over the patient. You’d arrived early, still not entirely able to have him out of your sights for too long. As you popped your head in, you realized he was asleep.
Dropping into the comfortable chair next to his bed, you set yourself up for waiting. In the past week and a half, you hadn’t managed to find a moment alone with Eddie. There was always a party member at his bedside at all times. Or a band member. Or a parent.
Eddie’s room had quickly become well known for the noise and chattering that spilled out into the hallways. At its absence, you realized you didn’t know what to do.
Smacking his lips, Eddie’s head moved towards the door, eyes still closed. As he shifted, you caught sight of the large bandage by his neck. The purple bruising on his arms looked painful and your chest clenched at the sight of them.
It seemed that before you could decide for yourself, the silence swallowed you whole. Bringing you hand up to your lips, you tried to silence your sobs. Chest heaving with the effort, you buried your face into your hands and cried. The last week of pushing everything down and resolving to deal with it later had finally caught up to you.
Everyone has their reckoning, you were reminded. This was yours.
A warm hand came up to your shoulder, the bandaged one, and softly caressed where the tape adhered to your skin. “Hey you,” he said, sleep clinging to the corner of his knowing gaze.
“I’m sorry,” you sputtered, trying to push it back down but there was no use. Pandora’s box had been opened. Turning from him, you caught sight of his frown. His pained grunt made you whip back to him and you almost tripped over your own feet as you rushed to help. Eddie’s expression was twisted as he sat up, sweat beading at his temples.
“Lie down, you psychopath,” you said once the lump in your throat let you speak. “The bed will move for you! You just had surgery on your side for fuck’s sake.” You ducked your head, trying to avoid his eyes as you adjusted the bed to his liking.
Stubborn as always, Eddie tapped your forearm. “Don’t hide from me, not you,” he said softly, his eyes searching for yours. Giving in, you let your blurry sight find his and he sighed. “Nova, you should’ve told me.”
“Told you what?” You said through desperate inhales.
“That you’d been bottling it up – come here,” he said. You wished you could climb into the bed with him but you couldn’t, his incision still very off limits to movement. You were trying to decide where to touch, when he decided for you. His right hand opened, fingers wiggling towards you. “Come on.”
Interlocking your fingers with his, relishing in the touch, you pressed the back of his hand to your cheek. His pulse beat against yours, alive – wondrously and beautifully alive. This, this was what you needed. A moment to lose it before rearranging the bricks of your mental foundation back in place. The image of him, eyes unseeing, bubbled to the surface and despair twisted it’s venomous grip around your lungs.
Choking, you let the sob come out unbidden. Not sure you could stop it if you wanted to, you let the tears drown you. Weeping, you whimpered as you accepted what could’ve been. What you would’ve had to watch. The fact that you would’ve had something so important ripped from your grasp.
He's okay, you thought, he’s alive.
“I’m here,” he said, his voice a quiet echo of Nancy’s lost words. “I’m here. I got you.” After a few minutes, your chest stopped heaving and you could take a deep breath.
“I’m sorry,” you told him, a little embarrassed. “Thank you.”
“No, I’m sorry,” he said, pulling your hand from your face and towards his own. He pressed a kiss to your knuckles and you blinked at him.
“Why are you sorry?” Christ, you were a mess. He’d been in a coma for two days and he was comforting you. He’d almost died and you were too weak to be strong for your friend.
“I’m sorry for leaving you,” he said, “I’m sorry that you had to be the one I left behind. I’m sorry for scaring you. I’m sorry that you had to see me like that. I’m sorry for hurting you even if I’d do it again if it meant you were safe. It was scary and I’m sorry for doing that to you, no matter how important it was that I did it.”
His thumb caressed your hand and you bit back the tears that wanted to wail out to the world that you’d almost lost something that couldn’t be replaced. But the silence that fell was comforting, a soft and easy kind. One that didn’t need to be filled and his pulse was a balm soothing your raw panic.
And yet -
“Don’t leave me here alone. It’s your Sam calling,” you said, eyes on his. A small real, smile broke out on his face and he squeezed your hand.
Despite the bandages across his jaw, and the wince of pain as he shifted, you hadn’t seen someone look so beautiful.
“Don’t go where I can’t follow, wake up Mr. Frodo,” Eddie whispered and you beamed at him.
4. Telling you to call them so they know you got home safe.
“For fuck’s sake,” you hissed, rubbing your temples as you watched Robin hop on top of a bar table to dance.
Eddie’s laughter hit your ear and you shivered at the warmth. “Come on Nov, she looks like she’s having fun,” he said, chest pressed against your back. Tucking his chin over your shoulder, you finally waved down the bartender.
“Can I have another club soda please?” You asked, handing her the money. She nodded, eyes drifting to Eddie and smiling.
“You two are a really cute couple,” she said, sliding the glass towards you.
Opening your mouth to correct her, Eddie beat you to it. “Thank you!” At your glance, he shrugged. “It’s easier to go along with.”
Something in your chest tightened at the thought but you shrugged. “Jesus, Eddie, can you bring her down? She’s going to end up falling and cracking her neck.”
Eddie sighed, his warm hand coming up to squeeze your waist. “We really need to stop promising to be the babysitters,” he said, lips brushing against your temple before leaving to drag a protesting Robin off the sticky table.
“Hey,” a guy to your left said, his hair long and pin straight.
You turned to him, not wanting to be rude but also not wanting to make it look like you were welcoming any type of flirting. Eddie already had to shove a creep with a persistent attitude off of Nancy. “Hi,” you said, taking a sip of your drink.
“Sorry to bother you,” he said, a little too quiet for the noise level inside, “but is that the lead singer of Corroded Coffin?”
Relief flooded through you and your shoulders dropped. “Yeah, that’s him.”
“Holy shit, I saw his band last month when he was the opening act for Riot Act. I’m a big fan! They’ve got a great sound,” he said awed. “Sorry! I’m Jack.”
“Hey, I’m-”
“-here with someone,” Eddie’s voice floated over your shoulder and towards the straightening man on the stool.
A little surprised by Eddie’s furrowed expression, and practically thrown by the small ember of something in your spine at his serious tone, you placed a hand on his and smiled up at him. “This is Jack, he’s a fan of Corroded Coffin’s.”
Eddie’s expression completely transformed, a wide smile overtaking the sharp look in his eyes. “Oh man, thanks! Sorry, you know how these bars can get.”
“Yeah,” Jack said, brightening, “totally! Are you guys going to be playing somewhere else soon? I heard a few people say you might be going to Sold Out in Indianapolis!”
Eddie rubbed the back of his neck and you could tell he was flustered by the pink tinge to his neck. “We are! We’re going to be there for a few weekends for the next couple months. We start sometime in the summer. Still ironing out a few details.”
“That’s great! I’m sorry for asking but, do you mind signing something for me?” Jack asked, excitement growing his eyes.
Both of you thrown, you felt your own giddiness build in your chest. “He’d love to,” you answered for a stunned Eddie. “In fact, the entire band is here tonight. You’ll have to excuse everyone else – we’re the designated drivers. They might be a little drunk.”
At the promise of more autographs, Jack straightened. “Holy shit, yeah that’d be amazing. Thank you so much,” he stammered, grabbing a clear napkin from behind the bar and pulling a pen from his coat. “My friends are going to shit themselves.”
You squeezed Eddie’s hand when you saw it trembling as he signed with a flourish. Shooting you a grateful look, he walked Jack over to where Jeff and Gareth were chanting chug, chug, chug! at a teetering Liam.
Jesus, you sighed, rolling your eyes when Jeff’s excited hand swatted too close to Liam and he started coughing up the beer.
Turning back to your drink, you didn’t wait long before you felt Eddie’s palm at your lower back. “Well, that happened.”
Not missing a beat, you turned with a crumpled napkin and wide eyes. “Oh my God, sir, would you autograph my napkin too?”
Eddie laughed, shaking his head, and he shoved your shoulder. “Shut up,” he grumbled, motioning to the bartender for his own club soda. “You brat.”
Grinning, you bumped his shoulder with your own. “I’m glad I’ll be able to say I knew you when you were a nerdy freshman.”
“I’m still that nerdy freshman,” he huffed, “people just actually like my singing now.”
The band on stage switched to a fast paced song and the bar emptied a little as people flew to the dance floor. You couldn’t take your eyes off of him. They really deserved this. You crossed your fingers beneath the bar and hoped it was just the beginning.
“To be fair, I always liked your singing,” you told him, poking his chest. Eddie’s eyes shifted and you felt the same tightening again.
His eyes dropped back to yours, something new swimming in them, and your breath stuttered in your lungs. “I know you have,” he said, gaze darting across your face. “You’ve always been there for me.”
Not able to take the pressure in your sternum, you huffed. “And don’t forget that when you’re rich and famous, okay? I want a fancy BMW so I can taunt Steve with it.”
Eddie threw his head back and laughed. Instead of breaking the spell, your eyes drifted to his neck and you briefly thought about how appealing the muscles there were. Straightening so quickly that your spine audible snapped, you swallowed nervously.
What the fuck was that?
The look Eddie shot your way let you know that he’d caught whatever that was. Your mind raced in a thousand different directions but before you could choose a route to go down, a body pressed itself into your side.
“You guys, Jonathan puked,” Gareth said, matter of fact. “It was funny but then Steve started gagging.”
Liam joined in next, his eyes glazed. “Steve said he’s a sy-symp- sympat-” his face scrunched together when he realized he wasn’t getting the word out.
“He’s a sympathy puker?” You guessed, already knowing Steve wasn’t the best around puke. He was always the first domino to fall during hangover mornings.
“Ugh, you’re so smart,” Jeff complimented.
Brows rising, you elbowed Eddie. “Time to corral?” Sighing, Eddie nodded.
“Grab as many as you can and shove them into the right car,” he said, hands coming out to grab his bandmates before they could drift off. “Meet outside in ten?”
“Minutes?” You asked incredulously. “It’s going to take at least that long to get Steve to stop gagging.”
“Bet you five I can get them out in fifteen.”
Rolling your eyes, you slapped his outstretched hand. “That’s an easy win.”
And sure enough, you leaned against Steve’s car with an amused expression as Eddie tried for the fourth time to load Jeff into his van. You glanced at Robin, who was talking animatedly with Gareth about what sounded like cheese fries. A blur in the corner of your eye caught your attention and you watched Liam open the passenger door and pass Jonathan his joint.
“Jesus,” Eddie groaned, “okay you win, please, just-” he waved his hand towards your friends.
“Robin get in the car we have to go now,” you said firmly, knowing she was the hardest to convince but the one everyone would follow once she was.
Her expression morphed into indignation. “Gareth thinks bacon on fries is better than cheese! That’s – that’s treason.”
“Because it is better!” He said, clutching his head.
“Alright you two, you’re both right, how about that?” You turned to Gareth and glared until he simpered off towards Eddie without a backwards glance. “And you, into the car.”
“But-”
“I’ll tell everyone what you’re hiding in the box at the back of your closet,” you threatened. She paled and tripped in her hurry to the car. She knocked into a sleeping Nancy, who grunted when she landed in the middle seat with a loud thump.
“Byers, get your ass in gear or I’m telling Joyce!”
A sheepish Jonathan crawled into the car, jostling Robin who cried out and accidentally smacked a snoring Steve in the passenger seat. You quickly shut the door and locked them in. With a flourish, you took your bow and Eddie clapped. “I admit defeat o’great knight.”
“Knight in shining armor, please,” you clarified.
“Of course, of course.”
“You okay with your lot?” You asked, nodding to where Liam was starting to look a little green.
Eddie snorted. “Yeah, they’ll be fine. What about you?”
“Jonathan and Nancy live nearby, the rest of us are crashing at Steve’s. Like the good ol’ days,” you joked, shivering when a sudden cold gust of air blew your hair into your eyes.
A pair of hands came up to your arms, rubbing some warmth into them and you smiled. “Lucky, Gareth and Liam live in completely different directions,” he said with a roll of his eyes. You pointed to car behind him.
“You should lock them in before one makes a break for it,” you said, yawning and checking the time. Without giving you time to think, Eddie pulled you into a tight hug. Never needing a reason, you wrapped your arms around his waist and squeezed just as tightly back. His cold nose nudged your temple, inhaling deeply and you lean your face against his chest. His heartbeat fast and yours quickly matched its pace. With a soft sigh, Eddie let you go.
“Hey, but seriously, I’m so happy everyone else is finally seeing what I always did,” you told him, pinching one of his cheeks for levity.
Instead, he smiled at you softly. A small, little shy smile that made your heart flip. “Yeah?” His eyes softened, the brown deepening with his gaze. You felt your chest tighten painfully this time. Turning back to hop into your car, you rolled the window down and Eddie leaned into your space.
“Don’t let it get to your big head.” Eddie smiled at your barb but his eyes trailed down your face, the look in his gaze different. You leaned back to examine it but you couldn’t put your finger on it. “What?” His eyes darted back up to yours and it clicked. It looked like he knew something you didn’t.
A little surprised at what he saw there, he shook his head. “Nothing, nothing, see you tomorrow at work?” That sounded like a diversion. You had a full shift tomorrow but he was on towards the end at closing.
“Yeah,” you said, not sure you wanted to let go of this. As if sensing it, he surged forward to press a kiss to your cheek and you blinked, surprised.
“Drive home safe, call me when you get there, okay?” He said. “Leave a message if I’m not home yet. I won’t be able to sleep if I think you’re dead in a ditch somewhere.”
That, in the end, got a smile out of you. “Who would’ve thought you and Harrington would turn into the mothers of this ragtag group?”
“Hey,” he said, hands on his hips in a clear imitation of Steve, “you love it.”
“Yeah,” you said, starting your car and rolling up your window, “I do!”
5. Bringing you something just because it reminded them of you.
“Fuuuck,” you squawked, feet sliding out from under you. Bracing for the impact, your eyes flew open when Eddie’s hands slide through your underarms and steadied you. He pulled you up, your knees aching, and you both stilled.
“That…would’ve been bad,” you said quietly, looking down at the wet pavement outside the Wheeler’s house. Eddie’s eyes were wide, his gaze on the puddles.
“Note to self, slippery driveways might take down the mighty Nova but demobats are a walk in the park,” Eddie said, grinning when you whacked him.
“Ugh, they’re still outside,” Dustin shouted from the doorway, “come on, we’re taking a vote on which movie to watch first.”
Despite his teasing, you felt Eddie’s hand on your back – steady – as you followed Dustin towards the basement. Everyone was scattered, a few conversations going on at once. The party was back for the summer from college and, as tradition stated, a movie night was set on the first weekend.
El jumped up, grinning, and threw her arms around you. “Oh, hello,” you said, squeezing her tightly, “I’ve missed you.”
“Missed you,” she said into your shoulder, words muffled. You glanced up to see Max tucked into Eddie’s embrace. He smiled when they swapped and Max’s grip bruised you. Kissing her temple, you watched them tumble back onto the first couch – Mike and Lucas waving at you both.
You made to step towards a beaming Will when a hand on your elbow stopped you. “Hey, I forgot to give this to you yesterday at work,” Eddie said, hand ruffling around in bag. He grinned after a moment, pulling it out triumphantly. A small drawstring bag swung wildly for a moment before coming to a stop. The black suede looked soft and lumpy.
“We just started that gig out at Sold Out last week and we were looking for something to eat before we drove back. I saw this in the window of a store and thought of you,” Eddie said, making your heart flip. You reached for the bag, a gold necklace spilling out the mouth.
“It’s a sunflower,” you said, voice faint, thumb tracing the small blooming flower.
Eddie nodded, already rooting in his bag for something else. “You said that was Barb’s favorite flower, right?” Suddenly, it felt like the entire room had gone quiet.
“It was,” Nancy said, leaning over your shoulder to look at the pendant. “She loved them, her room was covered.” An old memory flashed through your mind.
You’d met Barb when you were six, in kindergarten. She’d shared her chocolate with you and picked you as a partner for nap time. She had a sweet smile and gave great hugs. She was good and kind, and you’d been angry at the world for taking her. For a lot of things.
“Sunflowers symbolize friendship. But really, they just make me smile.”
For a moment, just a brief second, you could hear her light laughter echo within your memory. Nancy’s soft smile let you know that you weren’t alone.
“I thought you’d like it,” he said with a smile and you knew he was thinking of the tulips you’d both left at Chrissy’s grave last week. “This way you can have her close by.”
Nancy helped you clasp it around your neck and smiled down at you. Sound filtered back in as she grunted and turned to the boys. “Don’t throw the remote!”
You scrambled to stand before Eddie could find a seat, your had grabbing his. He stilled, looking back at you – the unasked question on his lips. Taking a step forward for a hug, for a second time within a span of five minutes, you tripped on a forgotten figurine. Eddie cradled you to him, staggered, but steady.
“Okay, I stand corrected. Rainy driveways and dnd figurines,” he joked, the smile from his gaze fading when he realized how close you’d landed.
The world moved around you both in a blur. This moment, you in his arms, had happened hundreds of times. You’d known Eddie for years, both of you were affectionate people. But this…was different. Time slowed and you felt Eddie’s pulse ricochet within your own, his lips parting in surprise. You eyes darted down to the movement, his lips chapped and in this bubble you’d created – a thought crossed your mind.
You wanted to press yours to his. You wanted to press every part of you against his.
Then, quickly, a second thought rose from your subconscious.
This wasn’t the first time you’d wanted to kiss him. It wasn’t the first time that your heart felt like it would burst at the sight of him. You liked the way your skin felt electrified at his touch. The way he always seemed to focus on you. The way you both always gravitated towards each other, like sunflowers bending towards the sun. Your eyes dipped lower and you felt a lump form in your throat. The way…you were dying to bite into that tattoo on his neck. The way you wondered if he’d squirm against you. If he’d push you into the-
Holy fucking shit, you loved Eddie. You were in love with Eddie. Your best friend. How the fuck had you been so blind?
Stumbling, you staggered back from his touch – not able to think clearly with him so close. You ripped your arms away from him and greedily sucked in air.
“What’s wrong?” Eleven asked you, realizing you were all but hyperventilating.
Pulse roaring in your ears, you didn’t know what to say. Dumbstruck, your limbs went numb as you finally met Eddie’s worried eyes. He stilled at the sight of your expression and suddenly the rug was pulled completely out from under you because he knew. The look in his eyes was one of complete and total understanding.
And you knew that he knew - and he knew that you knew that he knew.
Your mind flashed back to the moment outside the bar a few months ago. That look in his eyes. The way he’d been acting strange recently. He looked at you like he knew something you didn’t. Struck, you’d honestly be less shocked if the ground opened up and Vecna swallowed you whole.
His own panic flooding his face, he took a step forward.
“No!” You shouted, a touch too loud, your soul flying out your body and staring down at the situation with terror.
“Wait, just wait,” Eddie stammered, hands raised like he was approaching a scared animal. “Let’s talk about it.”
“Oh shit,” you heard Dustin mutter. The rest of room went silent.
Robin groaned, a soft thump following. “Oh no, this isn’t good.”
“Right now?” Steve hissed. “What the hell changed?”
“What the hell is happening?” Lucas grumbled.
Max sighed. “She just realized she’s in love with him.”
Eleven’s eyes widened and Lucas frowned. “Congratulations on being the last one to find out,” he said and somehow that made it worse. Your face crumpled and everyone’s glare turned towards him.
“Jesus Sinclair, have you heard of tact?”
Were you the absolute last person to know?
He was your best friend – you couldn’t, this would ruin everything. Oh God, what if he’d known and he never said anything because he didn’t feel the same? What if he did? You honestly didn’t know which was scarier.
As your friends descended into chaos, you glanced back at Eddie and found him frozen too. Overwhelmed and feeling like you’d been knocked around the ring a few times, you let your flight instinct take over. Taking the stairs two at a time, you were at the basement door in seconds.
Chaos erupted behind you.
You were at the door and fucking Christ, you couldn’t breathe. Why couldn’t you breathe? Was the ground shaking?
“Stay here,” you heard Eddie bark at everyone, his had tone not leaving any room for argument. Despite it all, you felt the zing of something travel down your spine at the sound of it. Before you could even analyze it for what it was, it triggered another fresh wave of panic.
You knew he’d be close behind, but you were used to running for your life at this point. Practically racing down the driveway, you scrambled into your car and slammed the door shut. Your first mistake was trying to still your shaking hand to get it into the ignition.
A body half-slammed into your passenger door and you screamed, terror taking over your rational side for a moment.
“Sorry! I’m sorry! The fucking grass is wet and I slipped,” Eddie said, backing up with his palms up. “Nova, please, don’t go. Not like this. I-”
“Nope!” You said, feeling like a stupid child but you weren’t able to process right now. You’d known Eddie since you were fourteen. That was a decade. How the fuck had you been so blind? “I can’t – Eddie, I can’t! Just give me a second, okay? I need – I need to process. Alone.”
The world felt like it was crumbling. Like you were back in the hell hole, clinging to Steve and Eddie for balance as the ground shook beneath you. Oh God, this was going change everything.
Your second mistake was turning to look at him. The knot in your chest tightened beyond belief at the sight of the heartbreak in his eyes. A flash of movement brought your attention to the several heads peeking out from the windows. Eddie’s head whipped around and you could feel his glare from where you sat. “Jesus Christ, does anyone know what privacy means?” You knew it was bad when you couldn’t even muster up a smile.
“Nov…”
Like a cornered animal, you felt tears well up. “Please. I’m sorry. Please Eddie, please.” Panic clawed up your throat, threatening to pull you under. Black dots danced across your vision.
He smiled and your heart broke at the emptiness in it. “Yeah, Nov, it’s okay. I’ll go back inside, just- take a few deep breaths before you go. Okay? Don’t drive like this. Just, deep breathing, remember?”
You slammed your eyes shut; you didn’t have the strength to look at him anymore. You nodded, taking an unsteady deep inhale. How was it possible that you were the one running and he was still thinking of you?
Not sure how long you sat there but by the time you opened your eyes, your tremor had settled and Eddie was gone. Taking a deep breath, you turned your car on and peeled away from the Wheeler house.
It took Robin and Steve exactly ten hours before they showed up on your doorstep.
“I know you’re in there asshole, open up!” Robin screamed.
Jesus. You flung the door open and glared. “I have neighbors.”
“You look like shit,” Robin said, matter a fact, with a small smile on her face. You groaned, dropping your face into your palms and Steve sighed.
“For fuck’s sake Robin, it hasn’t even been a day,” he said, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and guiding you to the couch.
Not one to ever be excluded, Robin smushed herself next to you. Her thigh pressed against yours and you found yourself stuck between your two friends – friends you hadn’t ever been good at lying to.
“I know why you’re here,” you started.
Robin snorted. “Well duh, what’d you think? That we got up at nine in the morning to come wish you a good morning? Even Dingus knows better than that.”
Biting back a laugh at her quick retort, you caught Steve’s exasperated glance and nearly broke. “Do not enable the behavior,” he hissed. “How do you feel?”
What a loaded question.
“I feel a little numb. Sort of, like, if I don’t acknowledge this is happening then it isn’t,” you said, pinching the bridge of your nose, “which, I guess, is what got us both into this mess in the first place.”
Robin’s expression softened and you sighed. “I’m just…I feel embarrassed mostly. I didn’t mean to be so dramatic – I just…I was so overwhelmed and it felt like I was drowning. You were all staring at us and I couldn’t think – I couldn’t breathe.”
“Hey, give yourself some credit,” Robin said, “you needed space and time and you asked for it. Everyone needs to understand that boundary.”
“Except for you two,” you joked weakly.
Robin huffed, waving a hand in the air. “We don’t have boundaries-”
“-we should though-” Steve muttered.
“-once you’re tortured by Russians together, you’re bonded for life,” Robin continued, ignoring Steve’s scrunched expression.
They started to bicker good-naturedly and your mind drifted to Eddie. You felt horrible but it didn’t override your need to crawl under the covers and hide yourself from the world. The one question on your mind refused to be put to rest.
“How could I have been so blind?” You wondered, not realizing you’d said it out loud until Robin leaned some of her weight onto you.
Steve pulled himself closed to the edge so he could turn to look at you. His gaze was gentle, eyes on you. “I mean this genuinely with no judgement, but how could you not have noticed?”
You threw your hands out, Robin dodging your left one expertly. “I don’t know! I think I knew on some level and just ignored it? Its…scary, feelings this big for someone who’s your best friend. I’m so scared, I don’t want to lose him,” you admitted quietly. Steve sighed and you glanced at him. “When did you guys know?”
Steve frowned but Robin spoke first. “To be fair, I don’t think Eddie knew right away either. At least not that I could see and we’ve known each other for a while now too. I realized sophomore year,” she said. “You always had those damn starbursts around. I know your favorites are the red ones because Dustin tried to take one from your stash and you almost chewed his hand off.”
A pile of starbursts were tossed onto your kitchen counter now. “So?” You asked, confused at the connection.
“They’re Eddie’s favorites too and you always let him grab them. I don’t think he even knows you do that, to this day. Let’s not forget how any time either of you ever went on a date or, God forbid, had a relationship, the other was always in a constant mood.”
Before that could sink in, Steve stirred. “I realized when he’d come to visit you at Scoops. Remember when I’d smushed that sundae into you. We were waiting on Robin to come back, worried about the Russians and you’d insisted on staying to help us. You had finally decided I was worthy and we were laughing about something stupid Dustin had said.”
You knew what moment he was talking about – you’d forgotten to call Eddie and tell him you didn’t need a ride home anymore. He’d arrived, on time as always, and walked in on you and Steve wrestling over some spilled ice cream.
“I turned with your ice cream too fast and hit your chin. I was trying to clean it off but you’d taken a handful and shoved it down my uniform. Dustin was practically on the floor laughing and I was chasing you with the bowl. Eddie walked in and instantly hated me. I knew he thought I was flirting with you, which I wasn’t. It was something in the way he looked at me. He wasn’t mad that he thought I liked you, he was mad because he thought I wasn’t worth your time – you know? He wasn’t even jealous, just protective,” he said with a shrug. “With you, it took a while, I think. I wasn’t sure if you felt the same for some time. Not until I knew you better.”
“Oh,” you said, throat dry. “Did everyone know but me?”
Steve bumped your shoulder amicably. “Maybe. It’s obvious to everyone now but it’s because it’s like you’re two magnets. The second the other is in the vicinity, your gravitate together. It’s…natural, almost. Something you’d expect,” he nodded, blinking down at you. “Does that make sense?”
“No,” you said petulantly at the same time Robin nodded.
Rolling her eyes, she grasped your hands and squeezed them. It was reminiscent of that moment in the emergency room, her eyes wide but determined.
“What do you want to do about it?”
You shook your head. “Too big a question.”
Steve took over. “Okay…how do you feel? You can love him as your friend, or be in love with him as a person, but if you don’t want to risk that – it’s up to you. We can have our own opinions-”
“-that you two need to get your heads out of your asses-” Robin said, expression furrowing.
“-but,” he said, shooting her a look, “it’s your choice.”
Feeling like your chest would explode with it, you abruptly stood, needing the space to pace a hole in your carpet. Chewing on your nail, you flung another hand in the air and frowned. “Of course I love him, how could I not? He’s…he’s Eddie. He’s my Eddie. Sometimes, at night, before going to bed I think about it you know. I think about how we were too close to be just best friends. We did things that went far past platonic and it was addicting. I – fuck. I love him. I love him.”
Shoving Steve’s hand off her shoulder, Robin stood, her arms coming down to your shoulders and shaking you. “So, I ask again, what do you want to do about it?”
You started to shake your head but she shut it down. “No, enough with this. You’re the bravest of us all. What do you want to do about it?”
“Robin-”
She waved a hand in Steve’s direction, her blue eyes turning sharp. “Say it.”
The knot in your chest choked you as you swallowed nervously. You wrung your hands together but you knew. You didn’t feel unsettled and panicked because you didn’t want him – you felt off kilter because he wasn’t here. You’d run away when you really wanted to just be with him. You’d hurt the one person you never wanted to hurt.
“I want – I want to tell him. I need to tell him!” You said, spine straightening.
Robin smiled. “There she is.”
“Oh my God,” you said, hands coming up to your face. “I just ran away; he must be freaking out.”
Steve stood, grabbing a yellow starburst. “He was a little…freaked out.”
Guilt flooded you as Robin glared at him.
“Shit, I need to talk to him. Right now. Where’re my shoes? I need to go!” You ran around your living room, frantically looking for your converse.
How the fuck could you have just left him behind? Without telling him – without saying the words. Suddenly, you remembered.
“Fuck! He’s in Indianapolis,” you said, slumping into a nearby chair, “he won’t be back until Sunday night.”
Steve frowned, his hands inching towards a red starburst and you shot him a glare.
“I’m distressed but not dead, get your hands off the red ones,” you snapped.
Robin laughed, knowing glint in her eyes and she grabbed a set of keys from your front table. “You have a fucking car and Indianapolis is three hours away, not across the country. Get what you need and let’s go.”
.
“Get off, you’re squishing me!” Max hissed at Lucas.
“Where do you want me to go? It’s a small car!”
“Will you two shut up?” Dustin snapped.
Robin sighed from the passenger seat and you took the same left as Steve did ahead of you. “You know, I don’t know why you all thought it’d be fun to make this into a group road trip,” she sighed, “you really don’t know how to mind your business!”
You snorted at the hypocrisy of the situation and she shot you a look. Shutting up, you made sure to stay behind the maroon BMW.
“We can’t miss this,” Dustin stressed, “he’s been in love with her for the entire time I’ve known him. I can’t deal with all the pining anymore. I get to see this through!”
You glared at him through the mirror. “We are not a soap opera to entertain yourself with,” you snapped.
By the time you’d made it out to your car, the rest of the party had managed to bike to your apartment with their own nosy agendas. Once they’d found out you were going to drive down to Eddie’s gig, they climbed into your cars – not leaving room for arguing. Because God forbid any of you do something without the entire party knowing.
“You probably won’t even be let in, this is a twenty one or older bar. As in, where they serve alcohol.”
“So?”
Robin shifted around to glare at them. “As in, you’re all not twenty-one yet?”
“Robin, please, what do you take us for? Rookies?” Dustin asked, his brow quirking. “I’m basically Corroded Coffin’s manager-”
“-you’re really not,” you said, thinking of Charlie, Gareth’s cousin who handled all the gigs and scheduling.
“-and I’ve got passes to all their gigs, it’ll be easy.”
Sharing a look with Robin, she shrugged. “Whatever, don’t whine about it to me when you’ve got to stay in the car the whole time.”
Not twenty minutes later, you both rolled your eyes at Dustin’s smug look as the bouncer let them all through with bright green bands indicating they couldn’t be served alcohol.
“Shut up,” Robin hissed.
“What time is it?” You asked, grabbing Steve’s wrist. “Shit, they go on soon – I think I can still catch them backstage.”
“Go, go!” Robin urged, shoving you forward.
Shouldering your way through the crowd, you were astounded at how packed the bar was. Determined, you kept slipping through the restless horde of people. You’d gotten halfway through when a loud strum stopped you. The crowd came alive, cheering and screaming as Eddie sauntered on stage.
Your heart dropped at the sight of the bags under his eyes. “Hello Indianapolis! How are you all tonight?”
The crowd went wild and you were jostled forward, right towards the front. Eddie was a few feet away and you sighed. Of course.
The band went through with introducing themselves, like they always did before starting, and you resigned yourself to catching him after their set. You watched Eddie swing his guitar over his shoulder, adjusting the strap. You don’t know how, in the sheer amount of people in the crowd, but as his eyes swept across the front row – they zeroed in on you.
Surprised, you blinked up at him. His answering grin was so wide, it cracked your heart further. Your breath rushed right out your lungs. Frozen, you stared up at him, and wondered how you could have ever been so blind as to not notice the way your heart always leapt around him. It rattled around in your ribcage, like a police siren. Him, we want him, it shouted at you, grinning up at you when you tried to knock it back into place.
I know, I know we do, you told it.
Of course you loved him, it was Eddie. How could you ever have thought otherwise? You wanted his friendship, because that was the most important part, but you wanted more. You’d always wanted more and you weren’t going to let fear keep you from reaching for it.
Eyes not leaving yours, he grabbed the mic again. “So, I have someone important in the audience today – someone who means a lot to me. She hasn’t heard our newest cover yet but, it’s one of her favorite songs. I’ll admit, it’s never been one of mine but I changed it around a little for her and hope you all like it too.”
Raising your brows at the first few notes, you couldn’t keep your delirious laugh in when you heard him start singing.
“Ooh, baby, do you know what that's worth?
Ooh, Heaven is a place on Earth.”
Eddie’s voice lowered as he rasped out the vowels, the drums transforming the song entirely.
You watched Eddie transform, he always put his entire being into the performance and you loved watching him relish in it. Bobbing your head to the song, you danced alongside the three girls to your left.
Catching his eyes towards the end, he grinned as he inhaled.
“In this world, we're just beginnin'
To understand the miracle of livin'
Baby, I was afraid before
But I'm not afraid anymore.”
A smile made it’s way onto your face as you shook your head and you knew he’d caught it by his laugh. Staying right in the middle, with the crowd’s energy pulsing around you, you sat through the entire set.
As Metallica rung through the speakers, you knew it was their closing song. Eddie nodded towards the side door and you started to make your way there.
The guard at the door stood at your approach but the door behind him opened in time for you to catch Charlie’s smile. “She’s good,” she told him, “whenever you see her around this summer, let her through. She’s with Munson.”
The burly guard smiled then. “Oh, you’re his girl? Don’t worry, I never forget a face.” He waved you through and you knew she could read the mild embarrassment in your eyes.
“Don’t worry, I won’t pry,” she said, elbowing you, “but I’m happy for you two. Anyone with eyes can tell you’re gone on each other.”
Right.
“I’ve got to help them pack but you’ve been to the green room in the back – he’ll come by when they’re done.”
Thanking her, you stumbled your way there – nerves finally taking over you. You should’ve thought about what to say – how to say it. God, why did you feel so awkward? You’d fought monsters from another dimension but you couldn’t tell your best friend that you loved him?
The door suddenly burst open and Eddie came in, guitar still in hand and hair stuck to his skin. “Hey you,” you said, standing from the velvet couch. “You were amazing.”
“Yeah?” Eddie said hopefully, putting the familiar guitar down and turning his full attention to you. “I thought you weren’t going to come.”
“There was a full house, I – I’m so happy for you guys. Are you booked full for tomorrow night too?” You asked despite knowing the answer. You needed a moment, just a brief moment of normalcy before you flung yourself off the metaphorical cliff.
Eddie nodded, a ghost of a smile flashing across his face. He knew. He knew that you knew that he knew. Because of course he did. But he was letting you take this at your pace, because Eddie never did anything you didn’t want to. He always let you lead.
He opened his mouth, no doubt ready to let you distract yourself, but you were done with the pretenses.
“Fuck it,” you said, surging forward. A flash of surprise was the last thing you saw before you slammed Eddie into the wall and pressed your lips to his.
Finally! Your heart sang, finally, we’re home.
Eddie took a second but after a beat he met you just as fiercely. His grip was bruising on your waist, his other hand coming up to the back of your neck. Not giving him a chance to take the lead from you, you ran your fingers through his hair and pulled his head back. He moaned and the sound shot straight to your stomach. Butterflies in full force, you leaned back, out of breath and saw the dazed look in his eyes.
“Nova,” he begged, unseeing eyes darting around your face. “Nova.”
“I know,” you said, right before you dove back in and pressed open mouth kisses to his neck. And then, after all these years, you finally sunk your teeth into the meaty part of his neck. Right at the base of the skull tattoo. Eddie jerked, as if electrocuted, and shoved you back. Stumbling, you let him cradle your jaw, the other lowering you onto the couch.
Needing more, you whimpered and Eddie grinned. His knee pushed up between your legs and the pressure was amazing. Your hips stuttered, bumping into his and you both hissed. His teeth worried the sensitive skin of your neck and you whined as he lapped at the bruise he left.
“Eddie,” you gasped, “Eddie, please.”
His forehead came down to your shoulder, his chest heaving like he’d run a marathon, and you both just breathed the other in. At your nudging, he dropped his weight onto you and you jerked at the hardness you felt by your hip.
“Sorry,” he said, not sounding at all sorry. “The amount of adrenaline going through me right now-”
“It’s okay,” you assured him, hand drifting down his side but Eddie caught it. “I can help,” you offered. Jesus, you wanted to help if the pressure between your legs was any indication. Eddie’s face softened, his eyes drifting down your face and he groaned.
“I want that too but, maybe we should talk first? Before going past the no return point?”
You blinked. “Munson, I’m past the no return point,” you said, matter of fact. And it was true. There was no going back now.
His answering smile blinded you and you heart threatened to burst at the happiness you found there. “Yeah?” He asked, tone a little uneven.
You nodded, fingers trailing down his face. Eddie lifted himself off you, sitting on the couch and pulling you into his lap. “Yeah, me too.”
“When did you realize? And why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, ripping the band aid off.
“Because I was scared,” he admitted, “I...think I’ve always loved you. From that moment in the hallway when you chased away Tommy and his gang of assholes. You took one look at me and I think I was yours. I didn’t want to ruin what we had but there were times where I’d catch us in moments and I thought yeah, this could work. I wanted it so badly but I didn’t want to lose you. Then, years later, I realized you felt it too. I just, wanted you to get there on your own. I never wanted you to feel like you had no choice or no out. You’ll always have me, in any form you want me.”
Your heart melted. “You’re killing me,” you groaned, dropping your forehead to his shoulder.
Eddie laughed, his chest rumbling with it. “I’m sorry but, it’s the truth.”
“I know I’ve said it before but, I love you Eddie. How could I not?” You said, cradling his jaw in your hand.
Eddie pressed his lips to yours, eyes suspiciously red, and you decided to be mature enough and not tease him.
“Hey, you didn’t answer the first question. When did you really realize?”
“To be fair, it took me a while. Everyone knew I hated Mason,” he said and you thought back to your first boyfriend who’d moved to Texas your junior year, “which made the guys tease the shit out of me but I think I fully realized it for our senior prom. I was so bummed that you were going off to college and I was stuck in Hawkins. Then, you managed to blackmail Higgins into letting me go-”
“I didn’t blackmail him, I just asked,” you laughed.
“-I knew you knew I was upset and I could tell you wanted to cheer me up. But then you did that stupid promposal-”
“Hey!”
“And you had that big bouquet of daisies. And it hit me like a fucking truck, I’m not going to lie. That’s why – I don’t blame you. It was a lot,” he said, his fingers trailing down your cheek. “We’d been friends for years at that point. It was both shocking and stupidly obvious. How could I not have realized? It took you, standing in that meadow behind my old trailer, that massive glitter poster and those flowers. It was like…lightning. One moment I was totally oblivious and then the next, I just knew.”
“Is that why you never dated anyone after that? I thought you were hung up on Joan,” you said, thinking back on the girl he dated through high school.
He smiled, looking down at you. “No, I’ve always been yours. You’re branded on my soul, Supernova. From that first moment in that old gross hallway.”
“How did you know that I felt the same? I didn’t even know.”
Your heart sung, breath completely stolen at the look he gave you. “I mean, I didn’t know-” You leaned back to shoot him a look and he snorted. “There wasn’t an exact moment! After you went to Indie State and we’d hang out there were just small moments, I promise. Like, how you’d wait up for my call when I got home after visiting you. Or, how you stayed up all night to help me study for my finals – like two years in a row. Or that time that I caught the flu and you hit every pharmacy in Indiana getting me what I needed. Or the way Wayne just downright loves you – there’s no competition. You’re his favorite.”
“Because I bring him baked goods,” you said, laughing.
Eddie smiled. “Yeah, but he’s always loved you because you care. You just – you do all these little things and I didn’t notice until I did. I don’t know.”
You mulled that over and realized he was right. The way Eddie would steer you away from sharp corners, or always made sure you walked on the opposite side of the curb. How he always knew your order or how you liked you take your coffee. You flashed back to his broken body and how you’d snapped and lost it. How he’d only thought of making sure you were okay when he woke up.
In hindsight, you realized, he was right. It wasn’t one big moment. It was a lot of little ones.
“I’m sorry it took me so long to get there,” you whispered, thumb tracing his bottom lip, “I’m sorry for leaving you at the Wheeler’s house. I should’ve been braver.”
“You are brave,” he whispered back, “I knew you just needed time. Besides, I was going to give you a week before I hunted you down.”
Laughing, you wrapped your arm around his shoulder, the other played with his necklace. “Yeah?” You felt suddenly shy.
“Yeah. Even if I was wrong and you didn’t feel the same way,” he shrugged, “I wasn’t scared enough to let you go. Romantic or platonic, Nova, we’re for life. Between Vecna and surviving ninth grade gym class together, we’re practically trauma bonded at this point.”
You laughed realizing you’d already had a lifetime of experiences with him. Eyes trailing down his content expression, you kissed the corner of his mouth. But a lifetime wasn’t enough. You wanted more. And you’d have more – you had all the time in the world.
“Yeah, Munson, we’re for life,” you agreed and leaned back down to kiss him.
Because hey, even he was right sometimes.
A/N: thank you all so much for the comments on my other fic, you cannot imagine what it means to me! This is the cover I was thinking of if anyone's interested.
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Lost Comfort
masterlist
summary: dean hurt you when he was a demon, now it’s hard to sleep next to him
paring: dean winchester x female reader
rating: R for language, violent themes
word count: 1.1k
warnings: please read! talk of serious sexual assault, demon!dean being worse than he was in the show, (he wasn’t even that bad in the show, but he’s bad in this), language
“Dean, stop, this isn’t you!” you shrieked, pushing the demon’s arm away. It was no use. Dean was stronger than you when he wasn’t a supernatural being, but now you didn’t even stand a chance.
“C’mon, sweetheart, I know you love me,” he laughed, black eyes staring at you.
“Of course I do Dean, but I know you love me too and this isn’t love! Please get off of me!” you sobbed.
Your eyes flung open, a thin layer of sweat coating your forehead. You blinked away the dream and took in your surroundings, before realizing Dean’s arms were wrapped tightly around you.
“Dean, let me go,” you said. It came out as barely a whisper. Even if he was awake he wouldn’t have heard you. “Dean, please- fuck, let me go!” you repeated, but you were still barely speaking. “Dean let go!” you screamed, which woke him up.
“Y/n?” He furrowed his brows. “Hey, you okay?”
“Dean let me go! Now!” you cried. He flung his arms open and you hurried out of the bed. “God fucking damn it! I told you to let me go and you didn’t!”
“I- I’m sorry, hun I was asleep I swear I didn’t hear you,” he said quietly as he sat up.
“This was a mistake, I can’t sleep next to you! What was I thinking?” you scoffed. “I’m sleeping in the Dean Cave, I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Wait, no don’t go! I’ll go sleep on the couch, you stay here!” He got out of bed but didn’t miss the flinch you threw when he walked towards you. “I’m so sorry.”
Sam suddenly burst through the door; gun in one hand and holy water in the other.
“What happened? He a demon again?” Sam asked you, his eyes wide.
“Just a bad dream.” You shook your head. You brushed past Sam and walked towards the Dean Cave before stopping in your tracks. You hurried back to yours and Dean’s room.
“I still love you, Dean, I just need a bit of time, okay?” You smiled sadly, noticing the tears now on his face as he nodded.
“I love you, take all the time you need,” he replied.
With that you left.
“Dude, what the fuck happened?” Sam asked, putting his gun and the holy water down. “She’s never left you after a dream before, has she?”
“I- I think the dream was about me,” Dean whispered. “Fuck, I really hurt her this time Sam. I- I don’t think she’s gonna be able to forgive me.”
“This is Y/n, Dean,” Sam started, “she’d do anything for you. I think she just needs time.”
“But you don’t know what I did.” Dean let silent tears fall as he thought about what his demon self had done to you.
“I mean, it couldn’t have been that bad?” Sam scoffed a little then Dean looked at him. “Right?”
Dean bit the inside of his cheek and shook his head, looking down. “I r-ruh—god, I can’t even say it out loud.”
“Oh god,” Sam muttered, internally jumping to (correct) conclusions. “It’s been like two weeks, Dean. Of course she can’t stand to sleep next to you.”
“But it wasn’t me!” Dean cried. “I hate myself so fucking much for taking this stupid fucking mark and letting it consume me.”
“Dean-”
“Don’t get me wrong, I do not blame her if she doesn’t wanna ever see me again, but fuck! I’d do anything to fix this.”
“Just give her space.” Sam shrugged. “I think that’s all you can do right now. Whatever future your relationship with her has, is completely up to her.” As he turned to leave, he added; “But also be prepared for her not to forgive you for this. I don’t think she’ll be able to.” With that Sam left.
**
“Dean please!?” you screamed. “Dean, I love you! I know you’re in there somewhere, please stop!”
You woke up alone in the Dean Cave, beads of sweat rolling down your temples.
“Shit!” you mumbled, letting tears fall.
You sat up on the couch and tucked your knees into your chest. You checked the clock and realized you’d only gotten about forty-five minutes of sleep since your last dream.
You tried to go back to sleep but every time you closed your eyes you were met with the horrid memories; Dean hovering over you with his demon eyes.
You tossed and turned for a while before you realized there was only one person in the world who could make you feel better and he was the one person you couldn’t stand to touch right now. You huffed to yourself as you got up and left the Dean Cave.
When you opened the bedroom door you were met with Dean crying softly into your pillow, facing away from the door.
“Hey,” you said quietly, your voice laced with trace amounts of fear. His eyes flung open and he slowly sat up.
“Hey, uh- what’re you- what’re you doing here, uh, Y/n?” He stumbled over his words and wiped his tears away with his hands. He put his feet to the hardwood to stand up but you backed away and shook your head. You didn’t want to be that close to him.
“I- I’m still scared of you, I’m sorry,” you whispered. “But I love you,” you added quickly. “I love you so fucking much and I know I can’t sleep next to you, but I can’t sleep properly without you. So, I uh, I’m just gonna sleep in here… on the floor.”
“What? Honey you can’t sleep on the floor,” Dean said. “I’ll sleep on the floor, you can have the bed.”
“No, cause then I’ll feel bad about kicking you out of bed,” you mumbled, causing Dean to smile a little.
“How about this; we both sleep on the floor by our sides of the bed. That way neither of us feel bad about the other, we’re far enough apart, and we can see each other from under the bed.”
“I’d like that.” You smiled softly. “Can I maybe use your pillow though, looks like you soaked mine,” you laughed a little, causing him to do the same.
“I’d actually prefer to use yours,” he replied and tossed you his pillow. “Smells like you.”
You took a whiff of the pillow now in your hands. “Is that the aftershave I bought you?” He nodded with a smile. “Perfect!”
You waited until Dean was on the floor of his side of the bed before you went to your side and laid down. When you put your head to the pillow, you were met with Dean’s soft smile a few feet away.
“Is this okay?” he asked, you nodded.
“I love you, Dean,” you whispered. You reached an arm out under the bed so Dean did the same, your fingers touching in the middle.
“I love you so much, Y/n.”
#spn#dean x reader#dean winchester x reader#supernatural#dean winchester fic#dean winchester#dean winchester angst#dean winchester fanfiction#dean winchester x you#supernatural fanfic#supernatural fanfiction#by mind empty just fictional people#by jean
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