#okay 'means' might be stretching it as he is canonically awful with money

[july-19th-club]

shot in the dark has so many great little character things that are jokes but not, but one of my favorites is shawn's habit of renting places that are not apartments because they're defunct businesses because the rent is cheaper. lines up nicely with his history of odd jobs that he does because they look interesting and then he gets bored of. and it also tracks that he wouldn't live somewhere longer than a year despite having the means to do so, because what's he gonna do with an apartment??? cook dinner in it???? his dad hatessss this but short of actually dragging shawn to see prospective places there's nothing he can do, and this is an activity neither of them would enjoy. so like he currently lives at a dry cleaner's that still has a moveable clothes rack. and is breathing in probably so many toxic chemicals every day

[variousqueerthings]

@elsonambulo​ some random HC’s about Silver/Kreese that veered into... something... it’s shippy-ish in the sense that I think they’re in awful villain luuurve, but it’s more about... idk... their backstories? motivations? idk. A mix of things...

1. Okay, I have two different thoughts on whether Silver comes from money, as a bit of backstory

a. he doesn’t come from money and takes over Ponytail Guy’s life when he comes back from the war, essentially taking over as the lost son of these mourning parents 

If it were “a” I imagine a very Mr Ripley-esque scenario (bonus points because Ripley is also gay) in which he molds his personality to whatever the situation needs - gets drafted? lean into the helpless “I can’t protect myself” vibe around the bigger men (especially that one guy, Kreese). Has strong vibes of the kid who became friends with head bully so he wouldn’t be bullied himself and did nasty things to other kids - maybe even liked it a lot more than he’d ever admit...

And then once he’s out, he doesn’t forget Kreese at all, he tells him to hang in there and puts in motion his plan to get the money that Ponytail guy came from (maybe he even started earlier, sending heartfelt letters to Ponytail guy’s parents, so they were already attached) and once he’s got it, he immediately gets Kreese those dojos, and Kreese can’t fucking believe it, you weren’t kidding... you’re amazing Terry...

b. he DOES come from money. And he just... doesn’t tell Kreese this. Like in the former option, he goes hard on the helplessness, but it’s also true to an extent, he’s just some rich kid who got drafted and daddy couldn’t get him out of it (or didn’t want to, make a man out of him yaddayadda). And he sticks with it The Whole Time they’re over there, promising Kreese anything he wants and once they’re out boom, he delivers immediately, leaving Kreese stunned. 

This was because he wanted to make sure that Kreese felt like he was in control/calling the shots over there and protecting him (even as he slowly got bigger and stronger - more on that in a second), and so that he could impress him once he came back.

Bottom line: either way it’s aaaaalllllll a game. A game to own Kreese.

I like both of these in relation to him and Kreese and also giving the Twig of the story that Silver-personality + adding a twist, which is that war might be hell, but it’s not the reason why Silver is the way he is - it’s just what introduced him to John Kreese. Since this is Kreese’s backstory and not Silver’s, there’s room for that reading.

The reason I veer juuust that little more to option “b” is because we’re seeing actual literal billionaire villains with dick spaceships and in government these days, so it’s... really not a stretch to imagine Terry Silver as a rich boy who likes to pull the wings off of flies and tortures and psychosexually manipulates teenage boys for the giggles.

2. In either case, once Kreese has killed a man (and Silver doesn’t see this in canon, does he? I’m assuming not) things start to change. Silver nurtures that darkness in Kreese. He fucking loves it, even if initially he doesn’t know that Kreese killed their commanding officer after they’d been saved. And in turn he gradually shows more of himself - this mean, possessive, terrifying man, all the moreso after his body grows with his desires. 

And they do terrible things while over there, generally egged on by Silver. I imagine that eventually Kreese told Silver what he did to their commanding officer and Silver honestly, sincerely tells him that he’ll never share that with anyone. And he won’t, because it’s the first piece of Kreese’s badness that was inspired by him (since he fought him initially to protect Twig). 

It’s all for him.

3. There must have been a conscious moment where Kreese realised that the man he was seeing in front of him... was not the man he met. Not because of war (but maybe Kreese - seeing as so much of what he became was because of the war and the actions he committed during the war - thinks it is that. He didn’t know that Silver was always this way, because he wasn’t when he was with him, at first), but because he’s so much physically larger -- he’s larger than Kreese, even. He doesn’t need his protection anymore. He doesn’t need anything from him.

Maybe Kreese feels bitter about that. What does he have to offer now? But Silver never makes him feel like that, he just keeps talking about the future -- it’s gonna be great, you wanna train karate, I’m gonna buy you a chain of dojos across the country - it’s okay, I just want the one, yes, I’m serious - and John never dreamed as big as Terry did. He never wanted mansions and money, he just wanted to... matter. 

At some point Terry was the one who took charge, and John doesn’t remember when that was, just like he doesn’t remember when exactly he got so big Imposing. Unlike him, he doesn’t do karate to win in tournaments. Terry just likes to win. 

(after the events of TKK3 that feeling of self-pity/the fear that he didn’t have anything to offer - couldn’t be a man - took over and he slowly drifted away from Terry Silver... he thinks it might be the only time he’s seen Terry looking vulnerable, but even that can’t stop him).

4. Terry Silver is a manipulative, deceptive bastard, who likes to own things and people. And he loves, too - he loves through possession. John Kreese was his first real prize, unmolded clay just... handed to him, in the middle of a warzone of all places. And then, later, he in turn offered him Daniel LaRusso as a gift. 

Like fate.

But he was greedy - he wasn’t patient, like he was back in Vietnam, or maybe he was just too used to the lawlessness of it all, to being able to act without consequences, and that fucking teacher of his and he ended up losing both Danny and John. Sure, he could’ve gotten them both back by force, but he’s learned his lesson. 

He has to wait for fate to deliver them back to him.

5. I very much HC Terry Silver as in love with John Kreese, and I HC that if something were to happen... any sliver of disagreement -- say, for instance, Terry wanting both John and Daniel, vs John being intent upon destroying Daniel because of his own protégé (and I haven’t formed an opinion on what Terry knows or thinks about Johnny Lawrence yet... we’ll see).

Well, if John and he were no longer to see eye-to-eye, to be that seamless, terrible, glorious duo they were during the war (when they acted as one unit, didn’t even have to discuss to know when they wanted to kill or fuck or steal or or or) I think Terry Silver would rather have him dead and his than alive and not.

 I could very much imagine Silver killing Kreese out of love.

Last thing: I think John Kreese fundamentally doesn’t want to think of himself as a bad guy. That self-deception gets bigger and more difficult to contain with time, but he’s a victim, he’s doing it for Johnny’s own good, he’s a veteran, he knows war, he does what’s necessary

Terry Silver never believed he was anything but what he was, and he actively delighted in bringing John Kreese - a man who in another lifetime might’ve been the hero of the story - to his level. 

And if John ever forgets this - really, truly forgets who he is - Terry has in his back-pocket the unshakeable truth: That the first time Kreese killed a man while looking him in the eye, Terry didn’t even have to lift a finger to tell him to do it. The thing Terry most loves about him was inside him the whole time. 

(also I think Daniel LaRusso is the one who got away - whatever that means for whatever Terry wants out of him - and there’s nothing more frustrating and tantalising than that: Not only is Kreese putting himself back in his life at last, asking for his help, but he’s offering Danny-boy once again. This time he’s not going to lose).

[aij-writes]

Quarter Past Wrong, Pt 2

Rating: Teen, Swearing, Mild Fantasy Violence, Romance

Pairing: Ignyx (Ignis/Nyx)

Summary: Ignis is superhuman...if he is human.  Nyx is pretty sure he’s a vampire.  Case in point...

Warnings: So…going by Japanese standards, even a 17 year old isn’t at the age of majority, so by Insomnia standards, Ignis is still a little young for the 26 year old Nyx.  In Galahd, and his heart, it wouldn’t matter.  Age range is nine years because I accidentally bump up Ignis’s age to three years older than Noctis (instead of 2 ½ of canon) and Gladio a year older than Ignis.  Also, I have a headcanon I’m carrying over that Dragoon is a race and Ignis is a Dragoon.  If I ever write an explanation to this I’ll link it.

Other Tags: Canon compliant, Brotherhood Era, Best friends Gladio & Ignis, Slow burn?, pining, OCs with no development for plot purposes, gratuitous workout and training scenes

For @ffxvignyxzine using all the prompts on day 2 “Meet me after dark”, Rain, Is he a vampire or am I imagining it

Second part of a multi-part fic trying to tie it all together

“Is he a vampire or am I imagining it?” Nyx asked, leaning back against the bleachers.

“Huh?” Crowe asked before throwing her fist up and cheering.  “Come on!” she yelled.

“He’s talking about the bureaucrat again,” Luche complained, leaning back from the next bench down.  He groaned, slapping money into Pelna’s hand.  “Shove it,” he complained.

Crowe continued to watch her team trounce Luche’s in rollerball.  Finally, though, she glanced at where Nyx was staring.  “Dude...don’t be weird,” she complained.

“I’m just saying,” Nyx said, insistent and on the edge of unloading.  “The kid’s not human.”

“He’s a Dragoon.  You know they say the same about you Galahdians,” Tredd offered.

Nyx kicked him hard, sending him crashing into Axis.  He leaned forward, chin in his hand balancing his elbow on his knee and watching the much nicer box seats where the prince watched.  Galahdians didn’t officially have to sit in the low stands, but they just typically did.  along with all the others that coun’t afford better tickets on their salary.  There was no use bothering to mingle with the rest of Insomnia.  They preferred them out of sight, out of mind.  As a Dragoon, Ignis might have had the same issue, the son of refugees himself.  Of course, he’d been handpicked by the king to see to his son, but Ignis faced enough discrimination that Nyx couldn’t help but sympathized.

“I mean...what does that even mean?” Crowe asked.  “Are you calling him a daemon?”  She laughed, taking the box of popcorn from Nyx and munching on a handful.

“I mean, sure, it sounds crazy but like--”

“Fangs?  He’s got fangs for biting the heads off anyone that looks at the Prince the wrong way,” Luche pointed out.

Nyx rolled his eyes.  “Okay, okay, forget it.”

“Maybe you should,” Crowe said, straining up.  “You know...no one finds stalking romantic, Ulric.”

“I’m not...and I don’t...!”  Nyx finally let his cool demeanor crack.  “It’s not like that!”

“Sure, of course not,” Luche agreed.  “He’s a teenager.  Nyx isn’t looking to break Insomnia law.”

“Forget the age of majority, Luche,” Crowe pointed out.  “The kids practically royal court.”

“I’m not trying to date anyone let alone him, Astrals!” Nyx said tensely.  “I wouldn’t date a vampire anyway!”

Tredd snickered.  “Interested in guys, Hero?”

Nyx rolled his eyes.  “All I’m interested in is figuring out if Scientia is a vampire.  That’s it.”

“Here,” Crowe said, having been on her phone.  She mailed him a list.  “Checklist.  Go do your stalking and find out before you go completely stark raving mad, alright?”  She motioned her head.  “The Crown finds out they’ve got a creature of the night tucking the prince in, they’ll give you another medal, right?”

Nyx rolled his eyes.  Still, he couldn’t help but look over the list.

---

Pale Skin/Aversion to Sunlight

Nyx was walking down the hall, talking to Gladiolus Amicitia.  Over the years, he’d gotten to know the Shield’s son as a pretty cool guy.  He’d even been invited over for a few meals at the manor and sat in on one of Gladio’s tattoo sessions when he went to get the line down his own right index.  Gladio tended to be easygoing, but honest, and just as fun and without caring he wasn’t native.  His sister liked to ask him questions, even if she never asked anything important.  Which, to be honest, he sort of liked.  It was rough with the only thing anyone wanted to ask him was about fighting.  Even Gladio’s father balanced a line between respectful and boyish enthusiasm.

Right now, Gladio was talking about a movie adaptation of some novel, complaining about the casting and merging of characters.  Nyx followed along, having read the book but not having gotten around to seeing it.  The set pieces sounded cool, but it didn’t sound enough to save a movie on a book he’d actually enjoyed.  They were headed to lunch together, as Nyx had had to pull guard duty at the gates and missed his friends’s break and Gladio just liked to rotate his options.

As they went to turn into the cafeteria though, they nearly ran right into the prince.  Fourteen and every bit as sullen as the age demanded, Noctis huffed, stepping back and looking away.  His shadow cleared his throat and Noctis rolled his eyes.  “Yeah...sorry...”

Gladio raised his eyebrows, before asking Ignis, over Noctis’s head and silently, He alright?

Ignis gave Gladio a sympathetic look.  Father, he mouthed back.

Nyx guessed that meant something about the king.  Before he could get too worried about King Regis, though, Noctis huffed and kicked his shoe against the floor.

“Since Dad’s too busy, can I just go back to my room?”

Ignis frowned, fingers nervously worrying over his cuff.  Gently and proddingly, he said, “Noctis, wouldn’t you like to sample the changed menu?  There’s a new burger I think has merits and--”

Noctis let out a tortured noise.  He frowned as Gladio snorted and rolled his eyes.  “Oh yeah, sure, and then everyone can whisper and point and go Oh look, it’s the prince.  I put up with that enough at school, Ignis, thanks.”

Ignis sighed, pushing his glasses up.  “Your Highness...”

Gladio threw an arm around Noctis’s shoulders.  “Come on.  You two can join me and the Hero.  That way, if anyone’s staring, you can tell yourself it’s in awe of braids and muscles.”  He eyed Ignis.  “And those ridiculous bags under your mom’s eyes.”  He put a hand on Ignis’s shoulder, holding him there.  “Astrals, Iggy, you stay up all night cleaning up after His Bratiness again?”

Ignis squirmed.  “Honestly, Gladio!”  He frowned.  Like the kid didn’t have enough criticisms getting through his teenage years.  His acne was finally under control.  Though his skin was much smoother and soft now, he was all the more paler for it.  For a moment there, Ignis had quite a time.  He dressed like a little business man, had glasses, an overbite, acne, and carried a briefcase everywhere.  At seventeen, he was finally growing into his looks having started to do things with his hair and put together slightly more stylish versions of the blazer-dress pants-collared shirt that was his uniform.  Still, he had a wan look.  He looked like he carried the fate of the entire kingdom on his shoulders.

“I’ll grab us a table,” Nyx offered.  “You’re still buying, right?” he asked Gladio, punching him on the shoulder  “Get me an orange juice with a deluxe burger and onion rings.”

Noctis made a gagging noise.  “Orange juice at lunch?” he said to Nyx.  He looked around the cafeteria then settled his eyes outside.  “Can’t we go eat outside?”

Nyx looked at Ignis, almost holding his breath in expectation.  It was dumb but--

Ignis gave Noctis a patient, apologetic smile.  “It’s really more comfortable in here, right?”

“In the gardens, no one will know I’m there,” Noctis tried to and failed not to whine.

“And I won’t know anyone’s sneaking up on you,” Gladio said, crossing his arms.

“You’re supposed to be ready for sneak attacks,” Noctis pointed out.  “Warp boy’s got us, right?”

Nyx glanced at Ignis.  “It’s really nice out.  Even pencil pushers have to get sunlight sometimes, right?”

Ignis sighed.  “I’m afraid it’s a tad windy and I’d hope to finish going over your homework so I might have an evening to myself, Your Highness.  Do you mind if we stay inside?”

In the end, Noctis assented.

Mind Control

“Oh...hey,” Nyx said.  He was leaving the library, book tucked under his arm.

Ignis pursed his lips in that displeased way he had.  “Yes,” he said.  “I need to--”

“They’re closed,” Nyx said, jutting a thumb back.  “Just got kicked out myself.”  He grinned, leaning on the door.  “Not so quick now, huh?”

Ignis frowned at Nyx, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Hey, come on, no need to pout.  I’m sure you’ll be up early enough that you only have to wait a few hours, right?”  Nyx tried to nudge Ignis on the arm, but he didn’t even respond.

Nyx wasn’t even sure how, but in less than a moment, the door was unlocked and opened.  A single hand reached out with a book.  Ignis reached behind Nyx and took it.  He nodded his head at it.  He didn’t even look at Nyx as he rotated on his heel and marched back the way he came.

Arithmomania

“Anyone ever tell you that you have an attitude problem?” Nyx asked Ignis.  He was doing pull ups near where another Crownsguard was working Ignis through stretches.  Ignis looked like he was in extreme pain or simply concentrating, but he clearly ground his teeth too much.

Ignis put a finger out to flip him off.  That was with him being flipped and having his leg extended.

Nyx tried to laugh and regulate his breathing but he ended up releasing his grip.  He fell onto the mats below.  He grabbed his towel and wiped down his face.  “Wow, Scientia...you’re too much.”  He stooped down next to Ignis’s head, watching him.  “Careful Novitas doesn’t rip something.”  With his worst impression of Ignis’s Dragoon accent, he teased, “The Kingdom would fall without our favorite high-stressed gov’nor doing everything for everyone.”

“Let me...do you a favor,” Ignis said with a surprising amount of breath control.

Nyx grinned.  “Oh yeah?  You want to come over and set my pants on fire?”  Last week in training, Ignis had missed a mark and set Luche’s pants on fire.  Though Nyx had to admit it was awesome, he hadn’t let Ignis live it down.

Ignis’s face was already flushed but now he was glaring.  The way he clenched his teeth, though, it made his lips pouty and his narrowed eyes behind glasses gave him a sultry look.  Nyx tried not to notice that the guy was hotter than Ifirit’s sigh.

“No,” Ignis grunted.  “The favor is, I won’t punch you for gawking.”

Nyx grinned at him with a wide, toothy smile.  “Who’s staring?  I’m wondering if you’re almost done being stretched like taffy.  I wanted the mats for crunches and squats.”

Ignis groaned, tapping out.  “Enough, Nov!” he gasped.

“Getting limber, aren’t you?” the grinning blonde asked.  He eased Ignis’s leg down.  “One more?”  He ran his hand up and down Ignis’s back along the spine.  “Help you cool down?”

“Might put the fire out,” Ignis agreed, still giving Nyx a glare that only made him hotter.  “No, you can use the mats all around me, though.”

He tried not to think about it.  In Galahd and the rest of Lucis, it might not have been so odd to find a seventeen-year-old attractive.  In Insomnia, it was one more disconcerting thing the refugees left around them where the age of majority was twenty.  Never mind the fact Ignis clearly never thought of anything other than work and training to be better at work.  He knew he was the Prince’s future adviser, but there was enough evidence that Ignis did nearly everything for the teen and was still counted on for other things.  He overheard complaining about him speaking up at council meetings he was merely meant to take notes at and, they had the insistence of saying, the King actually discussing with the Head of Urban Development as serious advice!

Not it wasn’t so much Nyx shouldn’t find Scientia hot.  It was that he did and he knew it didn’t matter.  Fellow refugee or not, there was already murmurs of King Regis granting peerage to Ignis.  Then he wouldn’t just be an unofficial member of the royal court, he’d be a lord and there’d be an official House of Scientia.  Nyx knew that anyone that close to the royals was already too high-strung to be interested in grabbing coffee--though Ignis seemed to live of the stuff even at his age.  He’d never risk his standing for a nearly decade-older Rat who didn’t even particularly want anything.  Nyx just thought he was nice to look at.  And maybe a vampire.

As Novitas wrapped an arm around Ignis from behind, Nyx situated himself where he might watch in the mirrors if he chose to.  Between push ups, he did.  Novitas had Ignis drapped over his arm.  Ignis was bent almost double over it, hands sliding down his own legs as Novitas used his other hand to push Ignis down further.  No one should bend that easily.  No one should have Ignis in such a pliable position if he wasn’t going to do something about it.  With Novitas’s serious look, though, he clearly only had the boring workout in mind.

Ignis clearly needed to prove himself even if it was only to himself.  He was like a chocobo in a rainstorm; letting water roll of his back.  No amount of underestimation had ever caused him embarrassment.  But the impossible standards he set himself kept being held up despite how much more he stacked onto himself.

Nyx ended his last set as Ignis ended his actual cool down stretches.  He’d already thanked Novitas and they’d parted sometime before.  Libertus had ended his time on the weights, talking about his day’s best.  As he asked Nyx how much he’d done, they headed to the lockers room, Ignis trailing behind.

“I dunno...I just do ’em til I’m done.”

Ignis rattled off the numbers of pull ups, push ups, crunches, and squats Nyx had done.  He looked at their surprised faces.  “Counting habit.  When I’m working out, I’m trying not to think about anything.  Counting helps.”

---

Invitation Only

“Hey Nyx?” Gladiolus called, catching up to him.  “You good?”

Nyx rubbed his shoulder.  He had bandages over it.  A spell had gone wrong on the field last week and burst from his flesh.  He had electric burns down to the muscle.  He offered a grin.  “Sure, why not?”

“His Highness,” he said, always careful to be proper when not talking to Ignis or Noctis, “nearly gave himself frostbite a year or so ago.  No reason to act tough.”

Nyx shrugged with one shoulder.  “Who’s acting?”  He cuffed Gladio on the head.  “You ever stop growing?”

“If not up then out,” Gladio said, smirking as he flexed.  He was in a tanktop and the steadily filling in lines rippled like a bird’s plumage might actually in the wind.  He looked like he wanted to say something after that, but Nyx let him stew on his thoughts as he kept walking towards his neighborhood.  He actually wondered how long until Gladio refused to go further.

“So...you having a few people over for drinks and watch the Founder’s Day thing?”

“Yeah,” Nyx said.  “You wanna come?”

“Can Iggy come?”

Nyx raised his eyebrows.  “Uh, sure...why not....though, I can’t imagine he’d miss the real thing.”

Gladio shook his head.  “The Prince has finals and is going to stay in all night and prep.  Ignis is hoping he’ll see to himself and I want to give him a chance to be distracted from worrying he won’t.”

Nyx nodded.  “Well, my apartment isn’t going to compare to the Amicitia manor.  Or the Citidal apartments.”

“Ignis isn’t stuck up, you know.  You could give him a chance.”

“I’m not mean to him,” Nyx said with an incredulous look on his face.  “Boy, you really are protective of him, you know.  He probably doesn’t like all that big brother posturing, you know.”

“Sure, I know,” Gladio agreed.  “Except I’m always there to remind him to live a little.  It’d be nice if someone wanted to include him without wanting something from him.”

“I mean, he can come.  It’s no biggie.”  Nyx couldn’t quite say he didn’t want anything from Ignis.  To see the guy smile might be asking too much, though.

“Well, sure, if I tell him, he’ll never come.  Maybe you could invite him.  Let him know he’s welcome.”

Nyx frowned at that, but nodded.  “Sure...I’ll tell him about it.”

---

Aversion to Garlic

“What are you doing?” Ignis demanded.

Nyx looked up.  “You looked tired.  I made us coffee.”

“...what did you put in the coffee?” he asked in a careful tone.  There was some amusement there, though.

“Uh...well, it’s Ebony beans, water, chocolate flakes, honey, and...oh, yeah, I guess that’s...”  Nyx eyed Ignis carefully.  He’d been caught in the kitchens making himself a sandwich after bullshit guard duty released him way too early in the morning and caught Ignis baking.  He slid the mug over, perversely curious.  “You like to try new things?”

“Of course,” Ignis said, frowning.  “One should always look to expand their horizons.”

“Alright, well, you ever put anything in your coffee?  I know I’ve seen you only take it black from the can.”  Ignis raised his eyebrows at this, as if surprised Nyx was keeping tabs.  Or maybe it that there was any other way to have it.  Or the avoidance of answering directly.  Nyx grinned.  “So I made it how I had it back home.  You know...where I’m from.”

“In Galahd?” Ignis asked softly, picking up the mug and looking at it.  “I thought I saw spices go in.”

“Yeah...salt, pepper...garlic paste stirred in.”  Nyx smiled sheepishly.  “It’s better that way.”

“You can’t put garlic in coffee.”

“I think you’ll find I have.”  He picked up his mug, knocking it against Ignis’s.  “Drink up.”

Ignis stared into it.  “No.”

“Well, I’ll admit, a fresh clove it better.  But one sip isn’t going to kill you.”

Ignis sighed.  “I mean, I’m watching you drink it, but I swear you’re just playing a prank on me.  Maybe there’s no garlic in yours.”

Nyx snickered.  He took Ignis by the wrist, bringing his mug up and tipping a bit into mouth.  “Mmm...like Daddy used to drink.”  He released Ignis’s wrist, but used his fingers to tip the mug towards him.  “One sip,” he urged in a soft, teasing voice.  “Be brave, Crownsguard.”

Ignis looked at the mug, before meeting Nyx’s eyes.  He let him raise it to his lips, but put his other hand on Nyx’s.  He took a slow sip, still watching Nyx intently.

“Good?”

“Maybe not my taste but understandably good for others,” Ignis agreed softly.  He stepped back a bit, putting the distance and raising his voice to a normal tone, “I think I’ll take it plain from now on, but once can’t hurt.”  He smirked at bit at Nyx.  “I still think it’s some elaborate punishment game you’re just immune to.”

“No one’s immune to garlic, Ignis.  Enjoy it.”  Nyx turned from Ignis.  “It’s good for you.  How’s it any different from your quest to sneak veggies into the notoriously picky prince’s dessert?”

“Fair enough,” Ignis conceded easily.

“You must be poisoned.  You didn’t even argue.”  Nyx came back, putting the back of his hand to Ignis’s forehead.  “Is that a fever?  You’re burning up.”

Ignis rolled his eyes.  “Like I haven’t heard jokes on my name my whole life.  Imagine if you knew my middle name.”

“Middle?” Nyx asked.

Ignis looked embarrassed, at least for him.  He turned his head a bit even if he kept his eyes on Nyx unabashedly.  “Well, it’s a Dragoon thing.  We have a family, a personal, and a middle.  I wouldn’t be ashamed of it, but it’s dumb.”

Nyx grinned, leaning in.  “You’re full of secrets, aren’t you?”

“I don’t doubt it, Mr. Ulric.”  Ignis smirked a little.  “I don’t let many people too close.  Too close to me is too close to the prince.”

“You’re faithful,” Nyx pointed out.

“It’s love, Nyx.  I love my country and I love my job.”  Ignis looked up at the older man.  “I love Noctis, too.”  He bit his lip at the casual use of his name, but he was already that far in.  “I’ve taken care of him for so long, how could I not?”

“Yeah...” Nyx agreed.  “I know what you mean.”  He didn’t elaborate to Ignis, but his thoughts were to his sister.  “But you know that time isn’t all love is.”

“Of course not,” Ignis said with a huff.  “If the prince didn’t deserve my love, he wouldn’t have it, only my duty and follow through.”

“Still seems like it’s hard to earn those,” Nyx said.  “You think there’d ever be another person as lucky?”

Ignis smirked into his coffee.  “Sure.”  He let the casual assurance hang as he eyed Nyx with his teasing green guys.  “My best friend Gladiolus.”

Nyx nodded.  “Fair enough.”  He reached over, tapping Ignis’s chin up.  “Anyone would be a fool to try to stretch you any thinner.”  He gazed at him before moving on.

“That’s you, Ulric,” Ignis said, setting his mug down.  He flipped the timer on the oven off at four seconds and peered inside.  “Always issuing a challenge.”

“Name a time I ever do that,” Nyx demanded, only to frown.  “Alright, alright...”

Ignis huffed, pulling the pastries out.  He used the mitts to fan the steam rising off them.  “Everything you do around me is a challenge.  Even coffee.”

“Well...maybe you’re looking at it wrong.”

“I often don’t,” Ignis said carelessly.  “I tend to have an accurate idea of others’ motives and strategies.”

“Yeah, I guess so.”  Nyx sipped at his coffee.  “I must be that annoying know-it-all you think me as.”

Ignis raised his eyebrows.  “Or you find pushing me around is the best way to get me where you want me.”

Nyx startled, coughing around a bad swallow.  He set the mug down, watching Ignis’s back.  He took a careful step forward, sliding in next to him.  “You always seem to like things a bit direct so as to get it over and done with.”

“Hmmm...that would be a mostly accurate summery,” Ignis said, sprinkling powdered sugar over the pastries.

“Maybe I’m tired of you being over and done with people.  Me or otherwise.”

“You?” Ignis asked, having the slightest look of surprised as he realized Nyx was closer.  Right next to him with the heat off his body warmer than the pastries.  He shifted, turning to look up at him.  “And what more would you want from me?” he asked, no blush or nervous tremble.  Just honest, direct curiosity.

Nyx couldn’t help but look at those lips.  “For you to engage with people for the pure pleasure of their company.”

Ignis blinked at him, before breaking the moment by moving away without a word.  He pulled a linen-lined basket towards him and began to load the pastries in to bring up to Noct.  “I would have to find their company pleasurable, don’t you think?”

Nyx scowled.  “Right,” he said a bit abruptly.  He went to pick up his plate, ready to retreat.  “Unlike a Rat with too many opinions.”

Ignis let out an annoyed hum.  He lifted a pastry that had broken apart.  He took a knife to it, cutting it evenly in half.  He tipped it onto Nyx’s plate.  “I may be efficient, Mr. Ulric but I’m not boring.”  He gave Nyx his own challenging look.  “You want to order me around, make sure it keeps my interest.  Trade for the coffee.”

“I don’t want anything from you,” Nyx said irritably, turning to catch the hurt look cross Ignis’s face before it was as quickly schooled into a challenging look himself.  He winced at that, before taking a bite.  “Pretty good,” he mumbled around the crumbles and silky filling.  It had a warm, nutty flavor.

“Probably not good enough for His Highness but I try,” Ignis said, shrugging.  “Well...if you don’t want anything more, I guess I better leave for someone who always needs me to get him up and going in the morning.”

Nyx watched him leave, gap-mouthed.  Okay...never mind what he wanted.  What did Ignis want?

---

Bloodlust

“I’ll kill him.”

“Sure Iggy.”

“No, I will,” he snapped.  “Slowly, too.  I’ve been working on interrogation techniques with the Marshal.  I’ve found plenty of places to put a knife that’ll bleed good but not kill or maim.  Enough of those, though...”

“Well...that’ll come in handy,” Gladiolus marveled.  “How come he never has anything useful for me?  All I got was this amazing physique.”

“You did that yourself, you swole-head.”

Nyx kept walking, not wanting to know who’d get Ignis that worked up over anything.

---

Animal Familiar

Nyx burst into laughter.  Ignis shot him a look from across the hall they were passing in.  Nyx shrugged, gesturing behind him.

Noctis had stopped in his walk, standing in the light of the high window.  He had none of his usual teenage scowl.  He just blinked sleepily, smiling faintly.  He looked a bit puffed in the warmth of the sunlight.

“Your cat’s distracted,” he said with a grin, gone before Ignis could throw another withering look at him.

---

Water Barrier

Nyx had his hand over Ignis’s on his kukri’s handle.  “I want you to feel it pass from my hand to my blade,” he instructed.

They were nearly back to front, past the usual training time, but Ignis had finally asked for something.  He was having difficulty with lightning spells and issued his own challenge to Nyx he made it look so easy.  Ignis still had problems with aim and release and the erratic electricity was the worst.  Just today, upon issuing the command, Drautos had taken a tiny bolt to his knee.  He’d limped out of there after carrying practice on as normal, wincing and using Luche and Libtertus’s help to walk as he couldn’t feel his leg.

“Come on, Scientia,” Nyx urged.  “This is the only area I’ve seen where your power outstrips your finesse.  You don’t have to be the strongest on the field.  But there’s so many people around, you run the risk of getting your guys.  No amount of battle formations is going to prevent friendly fire.”

“This fire isn’t feeling so friendly,” Ignis muttered darkly.

“You need to let failures happen,” Nyx coaxed.  “Doing it right the first time means you fall into bad habits.  Like confusing trying with succeeding.”

“You are really arrogant, you know that?” Ignis shot out.

“We’re not sparring, let alone trading barbs.  I’m here instead of showering and getting a beer.  I think I’m being fucking gracious and you’re the arrogant one,” Nyx snapped.

Ignis startled.  With that, a bolt shot out, hitting one of the stone pillars.  He looked back at Nyx.  He pulled his hand from Nyx’s, using the other, uncharged one to push his glasses up.  “My apologies.”

“I don’t want ’em,” Nyx assured him.  “Just focus.”

Ignis looked around the training yard.  It was just him and Nyx.  “Of course,” he assured him.  “I let my frustrations get the best of me.”

“The best of you is better than that,” Nyx couldn’t help but say.

“You know me so well?” Ignis inquired.

“Uh...well, I know the standards you hold for yourself...they’re not easy.”  Nyx shifted a little so it was less like Ignis was in his arms.  He took his fist, placing it at the center of Ignis’s gravity above his navel.  The teen had started to shoot up in height.  Already tall, he was squeezing a few more inches out of what was left of puberty.  Nyx started to wonder if he’d end up towering like his best friend.  At seventeen, Ignis was nearly Nyx’s full height.

He swallowed, trying to ignore his thoughts of how neither would strain into a kiss.  At least physically.  The emotional, societal burden was insurmountable he decided.  Had to conclude and be done with.  This attraction was getting out of hand and it was so one-sided he’d started to consider his friends were right.  He was stalking the damn kid.

“F-feel right here,” Nyx said, only the slightest waver in his voice.  Ignis stiffened at it, but relaxed as Nyx went on, “I want you to be a storm.  Gather, pull, twist and turn in place.  Build it up.  Draw from every bit but keep it here.  Then...”  His hand went from fist to open palm, cupping the taut muscles of the Dragoon and dragging his hand up over his chest.  “Direct it,” he ordered quietly, “only a little.  You hold that storm in place,” he said, other fist going back to the spot.

He now had both arms around Ignis.  Nyx was pressed against him, their different body types fitting together well.  He kept his head turned slightly, chin barely resting against the back of Ignis’s shoulder.  His open palm continued to run, curving with Ignis’s defined curves.  “You are bringing forth one bolt,” he reminded him.  “You aren’t separating it, though.”  He gently ground his fist in a little.  “Connected to your storm, but seeking grounding.  You are connected.  Your aim is to find the easiest root from your storm to your target.”  His hand ran over Ignis’s pectoral, fingers trailing a little high to touch the exposed skin of Ignis’s collarbone for a moment, but moving on.

His hand continued its path.  From Ignis’s shoulder to arm, down, down, slow and direct.  Nyx shifted, pressing as close as he could, breath its own heat cloud against Ignis’s ear.  His hand turned, running over the inside of Ignis’s wrist before the final rest, wrists pressed together.  Ignis still had Nyx’s kukri closed in his his hand.

“Release,” Nyx guided, directly yet soft.

Ignis released a single blast that as quickly webbed out and enveloped the pillar, turning it into a beacon.  Both had to shut their eyes, but Ignis held strong as he overwhelmed it with his entire charge.  Behind eyelids, they could see it get brighter still before plunging them into darkness.

Ignis was breathing heavily, obviously worn out.  Both kept their eyes shut, but Ignis shifted in Nyx’s arms.  He handed him back his knife and turned, his own hand drawing over Nyx’s chest.  He was quicker with his movements and it came to rest in the crook of Nyx’s neck.

Nyx felt charged lips near his.  His hand gripped at fabric, holding Ignis close to him but not moving closer.

A crash of thunder startled them apart.

Ignis gasped and Nyx yelped.  But it was a real storm.  The exposed air of the training grounds let in the storm above and rain started to fall on them.

Ignis dove for cover, but it was harder to tell if it was from the rain or the man that stood in it, watching him go.

---

Fangs

“There are eyes everywhere, Scientia,” Nyx murmured, holding an impassive look.  He had guard duty for a delegation of scholars that wanted to discuss crystal magic.  They mostly wanted to implore the king again to ask him was it wise to let the Rats steal pieces.  That the Kingsglaive would be the guard was by design.

Ignis wasn’t looking at him.  But he was wondering close to Nyx.  He’d been asked to the meeting personally by the king and had stood up, impassioned in his argument that the Kingsglaive was not only necessary, but in favor of King Regis’s duty to his people.  The scholars had argued back that first and foremost, the King had to duty to the crystal itself.  The heart of their star resided in it and needed to be protected above any people.

Drautos and Leonis, rarely on the same page of anything, had taken their time to both argue.  The Marshal had pointed out His Majesty must protect his lineage to continue protecting the crystal.  Both Ignis and King Regis had shared a mutual look of distress at summing up Prince Noctis’s purpose as a progenitor for more servants to the crystal but neither had voiced it.

Drautos had merely spat out there wouldn’t be a crystal to protect if Nifleheim was allowed to snuff the lands out.  “There’s hardly a star, let alone its heart, if there’s no people to stand upon it and receive its blessing, right?”

The meeting wasn’t futile but it was frustrating.  No one walked away happy.

But Ignis wasn’t walking away.

Nyx had put a healthy space between him and Ignis.  As in always several floors away if possible, as he’d started to make himself unavailable.  Ignis hadn’t acted as if he’d noticed, but he now shot Nyx a questioning look over his glasses.  Nyx merely stood at attention, eyes gazing past him.

Pushing them up, Ignis gathered up his papers and put them in his briefcase.  He pulled on his tie, loosening it a bit.  He walked past Nyx without another word.

Only once the meeting room was empty did he finally relax his stance.  And look at the tiny paper pressed into his hand.

Meet me after dark.

Nyx wasn’t sure where or why or should or even could.  He didn’t know where Ignis went when he wasn’t working.  He certainly didn’t know what he wanted.  Not really.  The almost kiss, if that’s what it was going to be, had worn him out.  He hadn’t even thought about it.  It was too much to consider so he hadn’t.  He just avoided it and avoided Ignis.  Now he was summoning him.  Where?  Who knows.  When?  Dark was relative.  He was in the dark now.  Why?  To be threatened and yelled at?  To be grabbed and kissed?  To be lectured about propriety and laws and how a royal retainer and a soldier with nine years difference and from two completely different backgrounds were not meant to have so many run-ins?  Should he go and assure him it was a moment they’d both read wrong?  Could he really face those wide, searching eyes and listen to the berating from those pouty, full lips?

He went home.  He went home and changed and fed himself, and even got some of the chores he’d let slide.  He distracted himself.  Then he groomed himself, checking his braids and washing his face.  He dabbed on cologne and changed his shirt.  He frowned at his reflection.  He stopped dawdling and caught the train back to the Citidal.

He walked towards it with purposeful steps even if his mind was blank of any strategy.  He stopped short, though, seeing that Ignis always had a plan.

The rain had continued to fall for the last week.  Nyx had shrugged on a raincoat with a hood, but Ignis stood in his partial suit under an umbrella.  He was off to the side, at the foot of the steps.  He turned this way and that, looking like he was trying not to look so obviously looking.  But Nyx stared.

He was too much.  Too cute in his obviousness.  Too young in his unabashed forwardness.  Too out of his league in his poise and elegance even under duress.  He was too much of a bad idea.

Nyx approached, boots splashing in the rain.  Ignis still hadn’t noticed him even if he made no attempts at stealth.  But his mouth wasn’t working right, so he didn’t call out.  Nyx reached Ignis.  Ignis looked up at him, surprised and unable to force his expression to something neutral.  Nyx didn’t even pause, reaching Ignis, closing a hand around Ignis’s back, and pulling them close together under the umbrella.  It was a tight squeeze.  Ignis continued to look at Nyx, not hiding his thoughts so well.  He was wanting.  Nyx wanted it back.

They met into the kiss, neither making the first move.  Ignis’s freehand went to tangle into Nyx’s hair, stroking at braids and petting down to his nape.  They opened their mouths to each other.  They kissed until breaking apart.

Nyx was hugging Ignis, though, so they didn’t move more than their faces.  Ignis ran his hand over Nyx’s scruffy beard.  His expression was thoughtful, soft, still wanting but only more now instead of unchecked yearning.  Nyx watched Ignis with something akin to hope as his fingers traced patterns across Ignis’s shoulders.

Nyx closed his eyes for a long moment as he sucked in a stuttered breath.  Can’t, won’t, shouldn’t, never ran through his head.  Ignis’s next kiss only tasted like yes.

They made out in the rain, not sure where this was going and what they’d have to do to keep it.  But Nyx did have the presence of mind to run his tongue over Ignis’s teeth.  Just to check.

[eenefangirlanalysis]

Eddy, in silhouette form, reveals his makeover.

Wow, he’s so short.

THEORY! What if Eddy was a premature? Remember Bro’s line in Big Picture Show? “He’s always been little!” Whether Bro was belittling Eddy further it’s possible he was a premature. In his height chart that we see in A Pinch to Grow an Ed it’s noticeable that Eddy was very short for a three year old. He’s hardly grown at all since he was eight. Eddy has always had issues with his height.

Eddy has transformed himself. He’s wearing a wig, which we did see in the lost in found, a patched up shirt, pants... Oh! I never noticed that Eddy still has his wallet! See the white ocular strings hanging out from his right side? Eddy always needs his wallet around so nobody will find out about his middle name again.

And boots. He’s also wearing a long sleeved green shirt under the short sleeved.

He doesn’t wear any of his trademark colors.

Green - The color of life, renewal, nature, and energy, is associated with meanings of growth. It also symbolises money. I’m surprised that Eddy doesn’t wear green. 

Yellow -  Freshness, happiness, positivity, clarity, energy, optimism, enlightenment, remembrance, intellect, honor, loyalty, and joy, but on the other, it represents cowardice and deceit.

That describes Eddy’s character pretty well. He’s not who he is. In fact there is a theory which points out that this shirt might be a hand me down from Eddy’s Brother. He’s been seen wearing the oversized shirt when he’s 4-5 years old! He wants to feel like his brother. And Eddy claims on two occasions that it’s his favorite shirt. I wonder if that is true. 

The shirt gets very beat up in Big Picture Show. Ed, Edd n Eddy being a cartoon always take advantage of the fact that they won’t be hurt for long. As I have stated through a theory once the characters face reality, the adult world, they can’t take advantage of cartoon physics. The Eds are out in the real world left to defend themselves in the movie. They don’t have needed supplies in their pockets, their arms don’t stretch out, and their bruises don’t heal in a few seconds.

Each character fears adulthood. Mostly Eddy. He understands that he’s been living a lie. Will he stay that way for the rest of his life.

Eddy has also pushed his trademark beak into.... his lip?

Question: Can characters permanently reconfigure body parts? Ed was able to put his eyes together to make one to imitate aone eyed monster from a film.

Eddy quips that his own mother won’t even recognise him. 

It later revealed that Eddy’s mother is farsighted. I always forget about this characteristic whenever I am writing/drawing Eddy’s mother. I think this is very important to her character. 

Eddy’s Parents have always been my favorite to talk about. There’s clearly been a long family history. Due to the big age gap between Bro and Eddy their parents may have had Bro while still in their high school years. And being young and immature still they likely didn’t give Bro much attention. Still, there was something wrong with Bro mentally to which they were too late to try and help him. 

Eddy was their parents second chance. I believe that the parents wanted to give Bro the love he deserved but he always rebelled. They didn’t noticed Bro’s abuse on Eddy until much later which they are very guilty for. Eddy’s parents are implied to be very strict. They don’t want their son to go down the wrong path.

I also feel that Eddy has a close relationship with his Mom. Just by his overall appearance, Eddy feels nervous around his Dad. He must be strict with Eddy. Still, he’s a nice guy. The family has been through a lot with history Bro left behind.

In fact I have another head canon. Eddy’s father used to drink while his mother had an eating problem. Both have gotten help. Eddy’s parents seem to be the only parents in the cul-de-sac to have a loving relationship with each other. The family has had their problems but they’ve gotten through them. And there is still tension lingering in the shadows. Eddy learns that his parents were right about Bro. And now they may be closer pos BPS.

“Eddy, it’s painfully obvious that’s you’re still you!”

Painfully? Okay Edd, so how do you really feel about Eddy? His opinion changes the instant he witness Eddy show true emotion over his actions in Big Picture Show. 

Eddy holds back his emotions. He doesn’t understand them. Bro was also the one who told Eddy that emotions aren’t important. Bro is a manipulator. Eddy has manipulated too, but immediately feels bad. 

A fretful Eddy briefly glances at his attire believing Edd to be right. That’s the real Eddy coming through.

However, Ed is immediately excited to see a new kid.

And he immediately wants to make friends. 

So, have the Eds, or just Ed, interacted with anyone else? How many kids are in Peach Creek Jr. High? I theorize that it’s a small school/town where everyone knows everyone. When a new kids comes around it completely changes everything.

“My name is Ed, friend!” As Eddy is plotting Ed is trying to make it obvious that Eddy is the friend while Ed is just Ed and friend is not his last name.

Does anyone remember the Angry Beavers episode where the villain is named Kid Friendly?

Kid Friendly: Friendly, friend. Kid Friendly! Dag: Friendly Friendly Kid Friendly? Wow!

Eddy takes full advantage of Ed’s slow wit and introduces himself as Carl from Ecuador.

I love how clumsy Eddy can be. That never shows when he is masking Bro. I headcanon the real Eddy as a shy, quiet, goofy, clumsy kid. He’s still sneaky, too. That may be the reason why he chose to act like Bro.

I am a shy person, myself. Middle school was a tough time for me. Eddy automatically thought nobody would like him. He still didn’t know who he was. He wanted to be cool. Everyone is cool in their own way. We’re all unique. Eventually we’ll find what we’re good at. 

Eddy has already showcased a few of his talents such as cooking and juggling. Speaking of which Eddy loved cooking. Eventually it was scrapped because Eddy forgot about himself and was so obsessed in trying to impersonate Bro.

I like how Eddy names himself Carl. I don’t hear that name being given to boys now a days. 

The Meaning of the name Carl - Strong man, free man, royal status, or a peasant/man of low birth.

Just for the heck of it I also looked up the meaning of Eddy’s name.

Eddy - Rick in friendship, wealthy friend, rich, happy, friend, guardian.

Ed believes that Eddy is going to like ‘Carl’. 

Maybe since ‘Carl’ is new then he’d befriend them. Then again, Ed doesn’t pay much attention to Carl for the rest of the episode as he’s looking for Eddy.

Aw, that’s heartwarming! Nobody replaces Eddy!

Leaning in very closely to Edd, Eddy believes the show can go on.

And he walks off with his hands in his pockets and sporting a Bro smile.

Ed calls out to Eddy bringing to his attention that there’s a new kid. 

Only to get no answer.

Where is Eddy?

And so begins Ed’s subplot.

Uh... are those pantyhose? As I have said, I’m not sure about the school faculty.

[ventingblacklist]

A Tale of Three Toms

(aka, how they butchered everything to save this guy)

(anti-tom)

Just a brief chronicling of the different versions of Tom’s story. 

Season One: Who Does He Work For?

I think the original plot outline went something like this - 

Red realizes something is up with this guy in Liz’s life. He gets wind of passports under false names, etc… He realizes this guy is attached to one of his enemies. But he can’t bear to just take him out because Liz is so in love with him and happy.

In their initial ideas for the pilot, they thought of scenarios where it starts with Red killing Tom, then coming in and revealing everything later, post-death. But they clearly decided that letting him live and revealing it more slowly over the course of season one was more interesting. And I think it was. 

But they needed a reason then that Red wouldn’t just outright kill him, so they had the ‘well Liz loves him and Red can’t bear to hurt her’ excuse. Which I never thought was adequate, but whatever. That was their way to keep this war going through season one so there could actually be a war in season one. 

So after doing as much as he can on the outside, Reddington surrenders and works to expose her fake husband and use the FBI to smoke out his employer. He doesn’t count on Liz stubbornly refusing to see what’s in front of her face. He figured they would work together on this. He fully intends to end Tom once his employer is known, and that part pretty much holds up. Once Red knows about “Berlin” he goes to put a bullet in Tom.

There was also talk of killing Tom in 1x17, but I’m not sure of the context of that. Apparently they decided to wait until the last episode.

So it started out as an excuse really to get Red back into her life. To have a show. Some enemy of his has gotten so close to her that Reddington can’t stay away any longer. She’s in peril without knowing it and he has to be there. 

For Liz, it’s a story about shattering that little fake life, revealing the truth under the carpet, confronting that truth, and making choices. What do I do now that the scales have fallen from my eyes? Do I embrace destiny or run from it? 

Is it all too much? Do I crumble? Or can I maintain and rise above? 

Tom’s purpose is pretty fulfilled. 1x22 with his dastardly deeds reaching their crux, handing over the task force, using her to take out Reddington, then briefly apologizing (maybe there was a shred of him that came to care for her after all, oh how tragic) and then whispering a dying secret in her ear that will lend intrigue in the future, is a pretty fitting end to that whole story. Time to wrap it up and move on to other things. 

Or not. 

Obviously near the end of season one they’d started to rethink their plan and someone said they should save him. So. How to go about doing that?  

Season Two: Twisted Love

I’m not sure that Red being the one who inserted Tom into Liz’s life was part of it at first. I don’t usually complain about that addition though (if it was an addition) because I actually love it. I think it adds so much more weight to scenes like the hand-holding scene in 1x6 when you know Red is sitting there eaten up with guilt for starting all this.

If it was original, I think it was a fairly simple thing. Red hired him to be Ezra, someone offered him way more money to double cross Red and Tom took that job and married Liz. Red finds out, and the rest is history. 

But now they’re saving Tom’s little life. How to make him palatable then to the audience? 

Oh, I know. He actually did love her the whole time. This whole thing was because he loved her, actually. 

Did you know that if someone is in love that excuses everything bad they’ve ever done ever? Well, now you do.

They could have very easily gone with the idea that Tom fell for Liz eventually. And that once he realizes how much damage he’s done, he feels bad and works toward redemption. And maybe someday he’ll be worthy of her love again. I could have actually bought that. But nooooo. They had to pull this crap that doesn’t make sense at all and makes Red look like a total douche canoe.

It made total sense to kill Tom in 1x22, but I actually love the ‘Red hired him’ reveal, and I love Liz’s 2a arc. So, in my perfect world, Red kills Tom in 2x8. 

Rather than meet him in a diner and give him money (apparently? which made exactly zero sense) it would be a twofer. Red kills Berlin, then kills Tom. The season one enemy is dead. Fitch’s death becomes the new reason Red must stay in Liz’s life. 

After all, the entire reasoning behind Red not killing Tom no longer applies. Tom is out of Liz’s life. Red tells him to never come back. Well, then, kill him. I mean, the excuse the writers used is gone at that point. Letting him walk is pure desire to keep the character, nothing more. It makes no in-show sense.

So, back in my ideal scenario, Red’s guys grab him off the street and put him in the Reddington death chair. But maybe before Tom dies, he says that line, ‘you know, for what it’s worth, I never told her about us. Not one word.’ Then Red shoots him. And his cheek twitches. And now we’re all like, ‘whaaaat?’ 

I mean, that would have been perfect. 

Anyway. 

Back in the stupid canon world, suddenly Tom’s passports are government-issue and not forged and they came from Reddington. They give him The Major backstory (that part is fine). He’s a twisted f**k who can kill a man in cold blood and feel no remorse whatsoever, but it was to ‘save Liz’ so she should totally be grateful and take him back. 

Oh, and he actually did marry her out of love and that whole deal, and the entire story of season one basically is just flushed down the toilet. The whole journey meant nothing. But hey, it’s fine because Tom and Liz are sleeping together. Woo hoo!

Oh, and Tom suddenly has amnesia about his and Red’s back story and he thinks Red is just using her to have an FBI task force. Which makes Tom look incredibly dumb.

Oh, and the dude who whispered that her father was alive suddenly knows jack diddly squat about Liz’s backstory and family and it will never be mentioned again.

But hey, boat sex. Woo hoo!

Season Three - Four: Little Lord Fauntleroy

So after building up a whole thing where Tom is burned with his handler and burns his passports and just wants to buy a boat and live a normal life, and he actually leaves, they have him come right back. Because why not? 

I still remember my reaction to that. I was like, ‘really? right away with this guy?’ I mean, I figured he’d come back eventually. After he’d all ‘changed’ and stuff. Even considered that he and Liz might end up together at the end, but this? Why?

So Tom secures Karakurt and it’s actually kinda fun watching him go undercover, so I’m like, okay, whatever. And never thought in a million years they’d actually have him and Liz getting back together. I thought this was some unselfish thing of him realizing he’d screwed her life up bad so he wanted to help her but she wouldn’t just randomly take him back. If they were going to get back together, they’d have to earn it. Tom would have to earn it. 

Or not. 

Tom had to run, he couldn’t stay. But now apparently he can. He can stay for months in the same town under the same name with the same woman. A deaf, dumb and blind tracker should have been able to find him.

Oh, and he kept the ultrasound picture from season one. And he really really wants a baby. And he and Liz are a thing again. And are you kidding me with this crap?

I totally expected Tom to turn out to be shady again. I was expecting him to be on the side of whoever it was that was now after Liz. I was expecting something ten times more interesting than a microwaved love story. 

Or not. 

But then I hear that there’s a spin-off. Oooooh, that’s why. That’s why he’s still here. Okay. 

So now Liz ‘dies’ and Tom’s story takes the forefront. His mother shows up. The seeds of the spin-off are sown. Turns out he’s not a street rat after all, he’s actually a little spy prince. Aw. yeah, that’s not unbelievable at all. (that was sarcasm, by the way)

Scottie is unlikable with the sexual harassment right off the bat, and nothing really warms me to her. Aside from her reaction to getting shot in the arm being funny. 

And now suddenly Tom’s not some guy who fell in love and all that. No, suddenly his story is intricately connected to everything else. Stretching all the way back to his babyhood. 

Again, not unbelievable at all. /s

Suddenly he was adopted out, not running away from foster homes (which destroyed about fifty percent of any sympathy I could have had for him). And on the spin-off he magically is the Ressler of the team with a shiny conscience.

They gave him Liz’s story. Suddenly he is the child with the super secretive crazy parents, only it’s reversed because he’s the one holding that card. Liz is…. idk, a person just happy to have Tom in her life I guess.

They build it up that Tom wants a normal life. But then they have to turn around and build it up that he wants back into the spy life. And they give him a family and a kid, but then if the spin off was successful they probably would have had to change that whole thing, so what was the point of it?

Now, since Tom was actually in love the whole time, they have to come up with some other reason Red re-entered her life. Katarina elements, whatever that means.

And it’s all a big, giant mess. (I do think those elements existed though and that Red feared Tom worked for one. Because he’s immediately asking about the fire. But that still doesn’t jive with their season two story. But whatever.)

Parting Thoughts

Anyway, the spin off fails. Now what? Do they keep trying to make this guy fit?

Thankfully, no. They give him an eight-episode send off. He can go out trying to get the truth to Liz. It’s super tragic. And they’ll use that to impact Liz and Red’s relationship again. 

They never fully redeemed Tom. They put a bandaid of ‘love’ on his character. But continued writing warning after warning coming out of Red’s mouth about how Tom would do what he does. Tom won’t change. Tom is reckless and dangerous, etc… And they actually showed Tom being reckless and dangerous. So at least it kind of fits. 

The writers let their love for this character taint everything else. I don’t think there’s any way to heal the damage done to Liz’s character, as I don’t think they even realize there’s damage. But at least he’s finally gone. 

I’m mildly hopeful. 

And look, this is me. I’m sure the vast majority of fans don’t feel this way. Don’t remember half of any of Tom’s stories. So, yeah. 

[beanabouttown]

...........okay so. @brightbluedot and i have been thinking about a fusion of black sails and stardust

where it's like canon except james is a star

and stars are known about and hunted and james has managed to evade detection for years and years bc when he fell he landed in the sea

james who is such a good sailor partly bc the stars literally talk to him when he's navigating

thomas and miranda noticing that james starts to glow sometimes

when thomas gets close, or praises him, or touches him

thomas would be so goddamn happy - he knows he's not imagining it, and he knows what it means, what it has to mean - but he'd also be afraid for him, because dear god, there are people who would carve out that heart of his

but james doesn't know that they have worked it out until he starts glowing when thomas kisses him and james is like 'oh god no' and thomas is just. 'i always knew'

james hadn't even noticed he was glowing before this point though

and that really did worry thomas a little

james and thomas can't touch around other people bc james will start glowing

thomas has so many nightmares about someone - usually his father - carving out james' heart

then after they get together, when he wakes up, james is there, glowing faintly, and thomas can just pull him closer, hand over james' heart like he's going to protect it

thomas calls james 'light of my life'

think about them looking out thomas's bedroom window, and james showing him where he used to be in the sky, guiding his outstretched finger right....there. and thomas would just. be so awed. he'd have to ask 'do you miss it?' and james would reach out and hold the hand thomas had pointed at the sky, bring thomas's knuckles to his lips and tell him that no, he doesn't. not anymore.

thomas asking if james would go back, if he could. james saying that he doesn't ever want to leave him

but: thomas loves james so much. more than his own life. 

…….of course thomas found him babylon candle 

because he never believed the stories about the hearts of stars making the person they love immortal. because he thought james would one day be left alone. and wanted him to have a way to return home

and so he keeps it somewhere secret and safe. and when they come to take him he tells miranda where it is and tells her to give it to james

AND OHHHHH THERE WOULD DEFINITELY BE A LETTER

'James, my truest love, you must not grieve for me. For having loved you, I never spent a moment in darkness, and my life was happier than I ever could have wished for. As a final gift, let me give you a light of my own. Light the candle and think of home, and you'll be returned to the sky, where you might watch over the world, as I shall watch over you. As I write these words, I love you, and as you read them, I love you still.' ( @brightbluedot)

from when thomas kisses james, to him being taken, he never knows darkness

thomas is desperate when alfred's men come to take him that they don't get james because if they do - god, if his father finds out….

and imagine when peter comes to see him, peter says something like 'it doesn't matter, he's useless now' meaning of course that his heart is broken, and thomas just. wants to kill peter for it

'get out.' 'I only meant nobody would want to - ' 'GET OUT.'

because more than anger at anybody calling him USELESS - how can he be so goddamn blasé about james's heart being SHATTERED

peter makes sure that in the plantation, thomas is never allowed outside during the night. he is never allowed to see the stars

because if the stars see him, they might be able to tell james

after thomas is taken james almost destroys the hamilton's house before miranda calms him down

then he doesn't shine for ten years

well. a little bit when he decides to agree to peter's plan

when he does that little smile

just the tiniest glimmer

and in that moment miranda knows she's lost him - he’s decided to die for thomas’ dream

maybe one or two people realise that james is a star during the ten years but. his heart is irreparably broken so he's 'useless'

but he can still hear the stars whispering to him sometimes

they say 'you are not alone'

sometimes the stars whisper for james to come home

but he just. he can't.

so many times during his career as a pirate he must try to use his powers for destruction

but he can't

he can't even shine

also like. stretching the mythology a bit. what if once or twice someone tries to stab or shoot james in the heart

only it obviously doesn't kill him

because his heart. it isn't his anymore. and it's dead (or at least that's what he assumes)

also going off the fact that in the film the witch was going to use this weird magic dagger to cut out yvaine's heart and one assumes there was a reason

BUT ALSO I SHOULD REMIND PEOPLE AT THIS POINT. 

NO MAN CAN LIVE FOREVER, EXCEPT HE WHO POSSESSES THE HEART OF A STAR-

AND JAMES HAD GIVEN HIS TO THOMAS COMPLETELY-

SO HE. SURVIVED

WHEN HE SHOULDN'T HAVE

and during the reunion….. thomas would have to squeeze his eyes shut because james would just be blinding

he destroys the plantation in that moment 

HOWEVER. a part of me wants to have instead of what happens in canon, someone working out james is a star who also knows about thomas. and doing what they do in the film

probably peter 

'oh hey this star just rolled up that might be useful'

'and i know how to fix his heart isn't that convenient'

'and im meant to execute him anyway so why not get something useful out of him'

he could rationalize it with his hatred of pirates, etc

also i think that the general consensus would have to be that stars are subhuman, otherwise how could people justify cutting out their hearts

imagine james all bound up and enraged and terrified, then seeing thomas and shining properly for the first time in a decade

for a moment he's so happy

also this would have to be after vane arrives. just so someone can be all '.....wtf'

but thomas would scream

HE'S LITERALLY HAD NIGHTMARES ABOUT THIS

THAT JAMES'S LOVE FOR HIM WOULD GET HIM KILLED

THEY ARE GOING TO BUTCHER HIM IN PUBLIC

yeah he'd be fucking terrified

and then vane's men start firing on charlestown so james can escape

and he and thomas run to each other

james tells him to close his eyes, so thomas tucks his nose against his neck and holds on tight

and he's so bright they can see him from the man of war

vane would just be like. um

he's been like 'um' since the fucking governor of carolina tried to cut out flint's heart

'i mean, im not a fan of the guy but?? overkill much??'

and then james destroys charlestown almost singlehandedly and vane is just. okay i APPROVE

that first night after they reunite, thomas wouldn't be able to sleep until james did - he'd still be shining too brightly until sleep dimmed it somewhat

and like. they would still be on the ship at this point. so no one's sleeping until james does

men belowdecks just look up at this brilliant light slanting through the cracks in the ceiling like. fuck.

also. hoo boy are we gonna brag about our captain when we get back to nassau

People assume it's been exaggerated somewhat - but EVERY MAN on the crew tells the same story

and they can also see it - every time flint smiles - and he smiles now, jesus fuck - he glows

when they get back to nassau and people are like 'hey a star.....could get some good money for-' james sees not only thomas step in front of him (which is gratifying, if unsurprising), but also Charles Fucking Vane

honestly it's probably just jack being jack and not really meaning it, but still

jack: ’…I feel compelled to point out that - '

everyone: ‘fuck you, jack’

james, who now knows he's capable of vaporising the entire island again, is more amused than anything

people start referring to him as captain flint, star of the sea

many years later, sailors - pirates and non-pirates alike - talk about him actually being polaris, the pole star - when james hears these stories he's like 'but How - polaris is in the sky RIGHT NOW' and thomas just grins and kisses him and says 'does it really matter? you're remembered. generations see you as a sign of hope, a sign of home. as i do'

(that’s a strong point in favour of this version, if im honest. james gets to be remembered as more than a monster) 

and then. years and years later, james and thomas light the babylon candle together

[sage-nebula]

Breath of the Wild Update Photo Post

It’s that time (and perhaps the final time?!) once again, my friends. Since I haven’t posted screenshots in a long while, you get them all in this post. I’ve actually done everything in Breath of the Wild that I plan to do for now (aside from beating Ganon a second time and doing the DLC quests when they release), so this should theoretically be the last post like this that I make. That said, there will be spoilers for some shrine quests and other things, so be wary of that moving forward.

With that said---have this:

Okay, as funny as these pictures are, you have no idea how much of a pain in the ass it was to complete this. I spent literal hours, in real life, trying to trigger a Blood Moon. I want to say it took about four in real life hours? Possibly more? It was ridiculous. Never put me through that again, Nintendo. Please. 

However, I do like how ridiculous Link looks, standing in his underwear under a Blood Moon, hehe.

“I don’t even want the Thunder Helm,” I said. “I’m only getting it so I can complete the sidequest,” I said.

Yeah, okay. That opinion has since been revised. The Thunder Helm is awesome. I know it might be hard to tell, but I swear to god the third pic was taken after the second. I can stand there and allow Link to be electrocuted and he takes no damage so long as he’s wearing the Thunder Helm. How cool is that?! It came in very handy for the Thundra Plateau shrine quest, let me tell you. Thank you for letting me borrow it, Riju. Much appreciated.

tfw you get to have a chat with a baby. (Okay, really, Farosh was just minding her own business, but it looks like she was looking directly at Link.)

Look. You can’t blame me for trying. (It didn’t work. I got electrocuted. Maybe if I wear the Rubber Armor + Thunder Helm, though . . .)

Friendly reminder that Link is the commoner of the Champions’ Host Club.

This entire song was a host of Zelink goodness, but I especially like this bit, because “hand-in-hand” sounds so equal, and yes. Yes, they are equals, especially in this game when Zelda has been holding Ganon prisoner for one hundred years. 

I’m very amused that you’re not allowed to say “nah.”

Tbh, I probably didn’t have to have Link in his underwear for this one, but if you think I wasn’t going to be as Extra™ as possible when taking on a challenge from The Most Extra of Goron Brothers™, then you’ve got another think coming.

Like, okay, listen . . . you can slump over, half-dead on the pedestal if you want. But could you just, idk . . . move a liiiittle bit to the left so that I can activate the shrine? Please?? (She couldn’t, ofc. But honestly, if she had just let me activate the shrine, I could have warped back here when it was time to finish the quest, but no. No. I had to paraglide back like some sort of fool. Honestly . . .)

I took this screenshot because I saw a post a while ago where someone said they were receiving hate for drawing Link muscular, and that’s nonsense because Link is canonically more muscular than the average Hylian. True, Romah here was comparing him specifically to Hylian women, but I think the point stands, particularly when you consider all of the fighting + climbing + running he does over the course of the game. The boy is built, let him live. (And in any case, don’t send people hate over how they choose to draw fictional characters, ffs. That should be common sense, but here we are.)

At this rate I think that everyone in Gerudo Town is going to know that Link is a dude, only none of them are going to realize that everyone else knows it (or like, some will know---Riju and her attendant know that they both know, for instance, but they don’t know about everyone else), and so Link is still going to have to dress like a girl in Gerudo Town because, even though everyone knows and is chill about it, everyone still thinks it’s this big secret, except Link, who knows that everyone knows but isn’t saying anything about it because he doesn’t want to cause drama. Beautiful.

I do, but mostly because that broken stone slab makes me think of the Gate of Time from Skyward Sword and it gives me an emotion™. (It’s not the Gate of Time, but I’d be shocked if that’s not what it was based on.)

You guys, I’ve done it. I’ve found him. I’ve found the worst character in Breath of the Wild.

Do you know how much I hate it when people do this? Do you? Let me tell you something: I work at a university’s IT Service Desk. I have, in my time working here (both as a representative taking on the majority of the calls and as a coordinator), had the misfortune of speaking to professors who insist on being addressed as “Doctor” and get angry if you don’t call them that. Despite the fact that they’re calling because they can’t figure out how to set up their e-mail in Outlook, or because they don’t realize that they have to turn off Caps Lock before entering in their password, they need it known that they are clearly more intelligent and important than the peon Service Desk representative giving them technical support, and as such need to be addressed by their full, wholly pretentious, title. And I hate it. I can’t stand it. It’s so disgustingly pretentious and arrogant that it sets my teeth on edge. Few things will make me lose respect for a person more than insisting that they’re addressed as “Dr [name].” Few things. It’s so disgustingly pretentious. Get the fuck out of my face, you intolerable cretin.

You have no idea how badly I wanted to choose that option. Alas, to get the shrine quest, I had to give in to his pretentious obnoxiousness and address him as “Dr Calip” instead. Ugh.

On a lighter note, this is Jules, and I want her to be my gf. Note: I don’t mean Link’s gf, I mean my gf. I mean, if Link wasn’t in love with Zelda, maybe his gf . . . but since he is, she can just be my gf for this game. Seriously, she’s adorable. I love her.

Selfie with the gf. Isn’t she perfect?

I tried to buy her a ruby circlet, but the game wouldn’t let me give it to her. >( Damn it, game! Just let me buy jewelry for my gf!! (I reloaded so that I hadn’t wasted money / gems on it, since I have no use for it and I couldn’t give it to her, but damn, that’s disappointing. =( )

It’s a bit hard to see, but there’s a sand seal racing shrine quest, and Link does stretches before the race starts!! He’s so cute, istg.

He also cheers when he wins. LOOK HOW CUTE HE IS.

Gerudo!Garnet thinks I’m perfect. :)

I accidentally missed it, but there’s a scene after this where everyone claps and cheers for Link for winning the race, and he rubs the back of his neck all sheepishly. ADORABLE. Honestly, Link, tone it down a notch. (jk, you are perfect, just as Gerudo!Garnet says.)

Loone euthanized her faithful shrine orb more quickly than any test subject on record. Congratulations.

This beautiful family really does put on a beautiful performance of the Dragon Roost Island music. ♥ I only wish the mom could join in, too . . .

I mean, tbh Kass, you’ve been gone for a really, really, really long time, all so that you could gallivant around the countryside, giving me shrine quests. I think it’s more than a little understandable that they want to spend time with you now that you’re home. Don’t be a jerk. :/

This sounds like my kind of shrine.

This REALLY sounds like my kind of shrine. 8D

This was really cute, too. ♥ Namely, Link’s response of, “Hey, Tulin!” Honestly, Teba probably ties with Riju as my favorite of the Neo Champions. (I know this isn’t Teba specifically, but it’s his son---Teba’s inside.) I wish that we would have gotten to spend more time getting to know Teba. (And more time with the Ritos in general. They had such a small part, it feels unfair.)

And finally . . .

DAMN STRAIGHT I HAVE.

I mean, I already have that. It’s called the Master Sword. But sure, okay, sounds good.

Again? Got it.

Really, I know what this is: Once you complete all the shrines, you go to the Forgotten Temple in order to get the Breath of the Wild version of the green tunic. I find it interesting that they send you to the Forgotten Temple instead of the Temple of Time. It’s not like this is your first time seeing it; you have to clear all the shrines to unlock this, so unless you saved the Forgotten Temple shrine for last, you would have already been there once. I feel like this is further evidence that the Forgotten Temple is a tribute to Skyward Sword---that the statue there truly is the Goddess Statue from Skyloft, and therefore Nintendo felt it more significant than the Temple of Time (which is a bit sad, but I can live with it). Who knows for sure, though.

Just kidding---you actually can’t. Although, I do take interest in how that’s phrased. Like . . . what would happen if Link did seek to increase his power further, somehow? Would that throw his heart out of balance? Would he suddenly be worthy of the Triforce of Power, due to the thirst for power in his heart? Hmm, I wonder.

Sis, I’ve been tryin’. 

Anyway, sis had three chests sitting in front of her, and inside the three chests were . . .

You’ll notice that the “Trousers of the Wild” are actually shorts. And the description says, “they’re the most comfortable pair of pants you’ve ever worn.” So then, Nintendo . . . what you’re telling me about the “Trousers of the Wild,” then, is that these shorts are comfy and easy to wear, am I right?

. . . I’ll see myself out.

Hideous. :/ I’m not saving Hyrule in that. 

Okay, full disclosure: I’ve been weary of the green tunic for a long while now. I hate the hat in particular (sorry, RR!Link, but I’m not on your side on this one), but in general I’ve been weary of it and wanted a change of pace. For this reason, the fact that you have so many armor variants in this game was like a goddess send to me. I’ve really loved it.

But if they were going to give us a BotW rendition of the tunic (and I figured they would), why did they have to make it so hideous? Full disclosure part two: I hate the versions of the tunic that have Link in shorts. They look awful. They could have styled the BotW tunic more along the lines of the OoT one, or the TP one, but no, they went with the original, and like . . . I know why, but it’s still ugly af. Link is not wearing this to save Hyrule. I refuse.

This is an improvement, but I’d probably want to dye the pants brown or white so that it would look better, as the black doesn’t really “go” with this outfit.

And this is a further improvement, though honestly, it doesn’t matter since the tunic really isn’t worth it. From what I hear, the green tunic set is never stronger than the Champion’s Tunic, so honestly, I’m going to continue on with my standard fighting fare, which is the Hylian Hood + Champion’s Tunic + Hylian Trousers. They’re all at four stars right now (versus the zero stars the Wild set has), so there’s really no point in wasting my time with the ugly green tunic set. Maybe if they made it actually look good I’d want to wear it, but seeing as how it’s hideous . . . I’m going to see if I can sell it instead. =P

Anyway, that’s it! I’ve got one more post coming up for sure (more of a game stats post than an update post), but aside from beating Ganon once more (and the upcoming DLC), I’m done. It’s been a, dare I say, wild ride (;D) but definitely worth it. I love this game, it’s so good. I can’t wait for the DLC missions and things. ♥

[discoabc]

Ch 18 Deleted Scene: Unintentional

A/N: So I wrote this before I had a better idea of where I wanted to go with the Wave Arc in the fic and had I gone with it I might’ve ended up with a fairly different story. I ended up scrapping it because a) it felt too canon typical and b) to have Kakashi lament about how beautiful he is.

“I cannot die here.” Haku’s words came out as this painful wheeze. It was surprisingly Sasuke who caught my arm when I wobbled suddenly, helping to set me down on the ground. “I-I must go to Zabuza-san. I must help Zabuza-san achieve his dream. I cannot die here.”

That set something off in Naruto. My blonde teammate cast one last worried look over at me before snarling at the fallen boy, nails digging into his palms when he clenched his fists. “Zabuza’s dream? You- how the hell can his dream be so important?! He…- he killed Takasago! He killed a hero!” Naruto’s voice cracked but his anger deepened.

Haku twisted his neck to look past Lee and see my furious teammate. There was guilt in his features that I wished I couldn’t see because he’d almost killed me. That last ditch attempt of his was fully intended to kill me. “Zabuza-san showed kindness to me and so, as long as he gives me a place in this world that abandoned me, I will accept the deaths of those who oppose his dream.”

And I was going to be one of those deaths.

“Besides” - a lurching, bloody cough - “aren’t you Konoha-nin the same? Killing those that oppose you and showing kindness to those that work with you? Like you, girl, that killed a man without even granting him any last words because he opposed you? And then that man’s brother?”

Naruto stiffened but I didn’t see or care, lips stretching into a furious sneer of my own. Because how dare he? How dare he judge me for what I’d done, use it as an example of how I was somehow the same as him? The same as Zabuza who hadn't granted Takasago any last words either?

“They were trying to kill me.” Like you, you bastard. “I was defending myself. What was a civilian woman like Takasago going to do to Zabuza?”

I shouldn’t have fuelled this stupid conversation with the enemy. I should’ve said nothing because this was dumb and one of us should either be knocking Haku out or killing him before he attacked again, not engaging in a philosophical debate on whether killing people that opposed you could be right depending on what perspective you looked at it from.

“There are different ways to kill a person than just through violence,” Haku’s voice was growing fainter, weaker. “We needed money and might have died without it. That woman, Takasago, was standing in the way of that.”

“Is that how you manage live with yourself?” Sasuke’s voice was cold and hostile.

Haku flinched and a gasp of agony left his throat as a result. “I...I am nothing more than a tool. Tools aren’t meant to feel anything, they’re meant to just serve their master.”

Lee shifted uncomfortably but it was Tazuna who spoke next. “That’s not what the boy asked. You’re just running away from the question and being hypocritical as you clearly feel emotions. You’re a bloody human being, kid, so stop it with the stupid metaphors.”

He flinched painfully again. “...What I mean to say is that it doesn’t matter if I hate myself. As long as Zabuza lives, I will not finish the job my father started and kill myself for the awful things I have done.”

It was Sasuke’s turn to flinch, eyes wide and skin pale. It would be because it was family killing family, something he knew so intimately, too intimately. “What?”

Haku wasn’t given the chance to answer the question with the sob story I didn’t want to hear. Zabuza’s form flying through the air would’ve been comical if it weren’t for the fact I knew how strong the man was and it was instead terrifying.

“Gai-sensei!” Lee called with a bright smile when the man appeared with an equally if not more blinding grin.

“Zabuza-san!” Haku instead cried out, eyes wide and horrified.

“Sorry I’m late, Kakashi here was getting a little wobbly on his feet,” Gai laughed heartily, yanking the said jōnin into view by the arm, who looked somewhat displeased at how he was being manhandled.

“Kakashi-sensei!” Naruto shouted, following the trend of yelling people’s names as they arrived.

Kakashi snapped his gaze onto us and pulled his arm free of Gai’s grip, sauntering casually over save a couple of shaky steps. “Hello, my cute students.” That usual condescending smile of his was back but his eyes were hard, flickering over our forms and assessing what damage had been done. The relief at our lack of life-threatening injuries was obvious, although he didn’t look exactly happy at the wounds we had sustained either, gaze hovering especially long over the stick of metal in my already bad shoulder.

He reached forwards and pressed his hand lightly onto my good shoulder in a gesture that made me almost collapse entirely. Because Kakashi, whose name for me was a synonym for safety, was here, and it was okay. I was okay. Everything is okay.

The fear, exhaustion, and pain that I’d been trying to ignore swirled up in me all at once and my eyes stung as I gulped down big breaths of air. Kakashi didn’t comment on it. “The rest of Gai’s team are picking up our clients now.”

I thought back to the women we’d hidden around the town in pairs with traps that fired shuriken barring the entrance to their hiding places. Initially, we’d planned to hide Tazuna away too, but he’d been the last on our list to conceal as an unofficial client of ours and Zabuza and Haku had arrived before we could reach the spot he was to be hidden in.

It had been a gamble doing that as Zabuza and Haku could’ve easily decided to take the civilians out first rather than us ninja, realizing early on that the women with us were transformed clones had their focus been that. But everything Kakashi did was risky and, really, had any of the plans he’d made failed, our situation wouldn’t have gotten that much worse having already reached practically rock bottom. For example, if Zabuza had realized I was moving in the mist back then, I’d’ve not increased the target put on me by much since he was likely to have attacked me first anyway.

In the case of hiding the women around the town, they were so much safer out of the heat of battle that us not being able to immediately go to their aid was a reasonable trade off. Besides, if Zabuza and Haku really had focused on them, then, with more civilians than there were ninja, their death was likely to have been inevitable either way.

Morbid, yes, but this was a morbid profession we led and Kakashi had faced that fact objectively in order to increase whatever chances we had of survival.

Loud grunts and coughs made us all turn to see Zabuza struggling to his feet, arms hanging limply by his sides. They’re broken, I noted upon seeing how they had been twisted somewhat unnaturally too. His chest was heaving and a snarl left his throat. “What are you waiting for?” He hissed. “Come closer to I can wring your little neck, you Konoha bastard.”

Lee made a noise of outrage at how the man referred to his teacher but Gai simply clenched his fists tighter and stepped backward into a ready stance. “This will be the end, Zabuza Momochi. Severe Leaf Hurricane!” He yelled as he suddenly went powering forwards, moving so fast he became a blur.

Ice. Neck. Crack.

There was a split second where everyone on the bridge was very, very still. That was aside from Haku’s head that was now lolling to the side at an angle it really shouldn’t have been.

It was both surprising and not at all. Lee had been distracted from his unspoken job of keeping an eye on the boy and I’d been fully aware that Haku would die for his ‘master’. Yet it was different seeing him do it in person. Sickening and cold.

And fast, fast like Takasago’s death with that brutal lack of finality.

Gai caught Haku’s body whilst everyone, Zabuza included, continued to stare. It was the first time my teammates had seen death - Sasuke had been shown a horrifying genjutsu of the deaths of all his clan members, yes, but this was the first time he’d seen it in the flesh, saw the life leave someone’s body with the snap of the fingers.

Tired, anger at the injustice of their first in person brush with death being so distant and clean compared to mine made my headache worse.

Then Gai broke the image of that non-scarring murder. “It wasn’t intended to kill.” He sounded mournful. Genuinely upset for the boy who lay with his neck broken in his arms.

It wasn’t intended to kill.

[revivedlegend]

Relationship Tag: Canary Wave for our trash selves

The Ultimate Relationship Tag

ALL THE CANARYWAVE ALL THE TIME MAN

Under the cut cause this is l o n g

Disagreements:

Who is more likely to raise their voice?: Mick, for sure. Sara’s more quiet fury.Who threatens to leave but never actually does?: I really don’t think either of them do. They might storm off to cool down on their own but I feel like Mick and Sara both know what hearing their partner threaten to leave would do to them so…Who actually keeps their word and leaves?: Again, like…I think they both storm off in the middle of an argument but not like leave leaveWho trashes the house?: ….I mean, probably both of them but the idea of Mick charring Sara’s stuff is pissing her off. But like they both do the knife throwing when they’re angry so…Do either of them get physical?: They probably both do tbh. Mick is the guy who said “I like you, Sara” before trying to kill her in canon. How often do they argue/disagree?: Probably a lot tbh. Not all the time but…maybe 65%.Who is the first to apologise?: Probably Sara more often but they’re both awful with words.

Sex:

Who is on top?: Alternates but we’ve established that Sara makes Mick more subby so…Who is on the bottom?: I mean, if Sara’s topping, that means Mick’s on the bottomWho has the strangest desires?: Probably Sara tbhAny kinks? Biting. Lots and lots of biting. We’re both hella ace though and haven’t figured anything else about these nerds yet.Who’s dominant in bed?: Sara. Let’s be real, it’s totally Sara.Is head ever in the equation?: Probably. If so, who is better at performing it?: I wanna say Sara just because Mick is pretty ace.Ever had sex in public?: NopeWho moans the most?: Whoever’s getting bitten lbrWho leaves the most marks? S a r aWho screams the loudest? Honestly? I’m…not entirely sure. You’ve got a trained assassin and a gruff quiet dude…I genuinely don’t know.Who is the more experienced of the two?: Sara. Hands down Sara.Do they ‘fuck’ or ‘make love’? I wanna say make love cause they’re fuCKING SAPSRough or soft?: Varies.How long do they usually last?: Pfffft hell if I know. Foreplay time varies.Is protection used?: Yup.Does it ever get boring? Doubt it.Where is the strangest place they’d have sex?: Idk the kitchen on the Waverider?

Family:

Do your muses plan on having children/or have children?: Plan, no. But we do have that verse where they and Len somehow end up having Sarah fucking Walker from Chuck because all of our muses are related.If so, how many children do your muses want/have? …1 I guess.Who is the favorite parent? Sara lbrWho is the authoritative parent? Also Sara lbrWho is more likely to allow the children to have a day off school? Mick is the most indulgent dad ever.Who lets the children indulge in sweets and junk food when the other isn’t around? M I C KWho turns up to extra curricular activities to support their children? Whoever can. Both of them I’m sureWho goes to parent teacher interviews? Sara cause she’s intimidating but looks less scary than she is.Who changes the diapers? Probably Sara tbhWho gets up in the middle of the night to feed the baby? Sara; she’s hella nocturnal and a boarderline insomniac Who spends the most time with the children? Both of them tbh; family is automatically on the small list of people they care about.Who packs their lunch boxes? Mick and he gives them wAY TOO MANY SWEETSWho gives their children ‘the talk’? Sara obviWho cleans up after the kids? Probs SaraWho worries the most? Both of them but Sara is more vocal with her worriesWho are the children more likely to learn their first swear word from? M I C K

Affection:

Who likes to cuddle?: SARA LANCE IS A CUDDLY LITTLE CANARY OKAYWho is the little spoon? Honestly, it’s Mick more often than you’d think just because Sara clings to him a lotWho gets naughty in the most inappropriate of places? Is that even a question? Sara. Duh.Who struggles to keep their hands to themself? S a r aHow long can they cuddle until one becomes uncomfortable? Shrug? Depends on the position I suppose?Who gives the most kisses? S A R AWhat is their favourite non-sexual activity? Throwing knives at shit. And drinking. Also Mick teaching her to bake cause please.Where is their favourite place to cuddle? Probably a bed cause then they can stretch out their legs?Who is more likely to playfully grope the other? Sara.How often do they get time to themselves? Not often enough.

Sleeping:

Who snores? Mick if he’s hella drunk when he passes out.If both do, who snores the loudest? N/ADo they share a bed or sleep separately? Depends? They end up sharing a lotIf they sleep together, do they cozy up together or lay far apart? Again, depends, but usually, they cozy up. Mick is so goddamn warm always and Sara loves it.Who talks in their sleep? I feel like, if any of them, Mick would.What do they wear to bed? Mick’s a t-shirt and boxers kinda guy. Sara is tank top always and either shorts or just her underwear in warm weather and sweats in cold weather.Are either of your muses insomniacs? Sara’s pretty damn close but I feel like they both have difficulty sleeping.Can sleeping pills be found by the bedside? ProbablyDo they wrap their limbs around each other or just lay side by side? Depends on the sort of night they’re having.Who wakes up with bed hair? I mean…given that Mick’s head is shaved, I’m gonna have to say Sara.Who wakes up first? Sara, usually.Who prepares breakfast in bed for the other? See, I feel like Sara would bring food for Mick to eat in bed but it’d be like toast and coffee and bacon, something easy. Mick would cook a proper meal but he’d just come in and tell her it’s ready.What is their favourite sleeping position? Sara sleeps on her side, one hand under her pillow able to reach for her dagger, facing the door. I feel like Mick sleeps either on his stomach or on his back with hands resting on his chest.Who hogs the sheets? Sara, unless the night is really cold, in which case it’s Mick and Sara just clings to him.Do they set an alarm each night? Nah. Sara’s got a pretty regular internal clock that gets her up and Sara is basically Mick’s alarm.Can a television be found in their bedroom? Yeah, probably.Who has nightmares? Both of them.Who has ridiculous dreams? Both of them but probably Mick moreWho sprawls out and takes up most of the bed? Mick fucking Rory. He’s just lucky Sara is smol.Who makes the bed? Sara usually.What time is bed time? Ain’t that the million dollar question. They just get sleep when they can.Any routines/rituals before bed? Mick flicks his lighter a lot and stares for a while. Sometimes Sara meditates if she has the time to lower her heart rate and calm her mind.Who’s the grumpiest when they wake up? Mick, hands down.

Work:

Who is the busiest? Sara, in most verses.Who rakes in the highest income? …I guess Mick cause he’s a thief. Except for Dr. Sara Lance verse cause…she’s a doctor.Are any of your muses unemployed? I mean they’re not legally employed but they have jobs so…yes and no, the both of them?Who takes the most sick days? …idkWho is more likely to turn up late to work? Mick probs but verse dependent. He’s gotta be at the bakery at like fucking 4 am sometimes.Who sucks up to their boss? …neither of them? In half our AUs, they’re self employed and they both give shit to Rip…I guess Sara given that she and Rip get along the best?What are their jobs? Verse dependent but in main it’s time traveling crime fighters.Who stresses the most? Sara, lbrDo your muses enjoy or despise their careers/occupations? I think Sara really enjoys her jobs in her AUs except for RENT AU. And Mick grows to like being a Legend and being a florist and…whatever he does in RENT AU. Is he a filmmaker since he’s kinda the Mark of the OT3?Are your muses financially stable? …I guess?

Home:

Who does the washing? SaraWho takes out the trash? MickWho does the ironing? Probably Sara?Who does the cooking? MickWho is more likely to burn the house down just trying? Neither of them, Mick would just burn the house down cause.Who is messier? MickWho leaves the toilet roll empty? MickWho leaves their dirty clothes on the floor? Both of them but mostly MickWho forgets to flush the toilet? MickWho is the prankster around the house? MickWho loses the car keys when it comes time to go somewhere? MickWho mows the lawn? MickWho answers the telephone? SaraWho does the vacuuming? SaraWho does the groceries? Mick - if he cooks, he picks the food though Sara usually goes with him to help.Who takes the longest to shower? SaraWho spends the most time in the bathroom? Sara

Miscellaneous:

Is money a problem? Doubt it.How many cars do they own? …One? One plus Sara’s motorcycleDo they own their home or do they rent? Own probably. Do they live near the coast or deep in the countryside? I feel like Sara would want coast but Mick would want country - probably not a water guy.Do they live in the city or in the country? CityDo they enjoy their surroundings? I think so!What’s their song? The Way I Do - Starship, Firefly - Ed SheeranWhat do they do when they’re away from each other? Burn shit, fight shit, drink. Where did they first meet? Verse dependent. Main it’s January 2016 on a rooftop in…was it Star City or Central City?How did they first meet? Rip Hunter fucking knocked them out and brought them to a roof with the othersWho spends the most money when out shopping? Sara. Mick just steals she he wants.Who’s more likely to flash their assets? Neither of them tbhWho finds it amusing when the other trips over? Both of themAny mental issues? The list for both of them is too too longWho’s terrified of bugs? Neither of them.Who kills the spiders around the house? Whoever sees them.Their favourite place? Mick likes the kitchen. Sara probably prefers her/their room.Who pays the bills? Sara cause most of Mick’s money has to be laundered like crazy.Do they have any fears for their future? The future. Just…in general. Who’s more likely to surprise the other with a fancy dinner? Mick tbh. The fucking sap.Who uses up all of the hot water? Mick.Who’s the tallest? Mick.Who’s more likely to just randomly hop into the shower with the other? SaraWho wanders around in their underwear? SaraWho sings the loudest when singing along to the radio? SaraWhat do they tease each other about? Probably everything lbrWho is more likely to cringe at the other’s fashion sense at times? SaraDo they have mutual friends? Yup! The crew and Lisa, at the very least.Who crushed first? Probably Mick but Sara was probably the first to admit it to herself, if not to Mick.Any alcohol or substance related problems? They’re both boarderline alcoholics.Who is more likely to stumble home, drunk, at 3am? Mick. Sara holds her liquor too well.Who swears the most? Mick but just a smidge.