#ok to rb if you relate but if u start discourse in the notes ill block u

[machineryangel]

its so ludicrous that whenever my parents try to convince me to have kids in the future, all the arguments they make contradictorily end up pointing out the fact that they shouldn't have had any to begin with. so far we've had all the discussions below:

mom: you make kids, i and/or a babysitter will take care of them me: why would i make a baby that i have no intention of taking care of? so that someday i'd also have to pay for their therapist as well because they think their mom never loved them? mom:....

mom & dad: who's gonna take care of you when you're too sick and old to even get out of your bed? me: so the reason you had me and my brother is because you're too worried that you won't be able to get by without someone else's help when you're older. don't you think that's selfish? mom & dad: that's obviously not the only reason- but we did take care of you when you were a kid, so we expect you to take care of us in the future when we can't, don't you think it's fair? me: i think that's a fair trade, if you put it that way. so all the compassion and love you've shown us so far, it's a part of a trade for you. that's not unconditional love. what you expect isn't gratitude, it's a payback. and to answer your initial question, i'm planning on putting myself in a home long before that happens, and i'm not planning on being a burden to anybody. mom & dad:....

mom & dad: you say that now, but you'll get lonely. me: a baby that i'll resent won't make me less lonely. it'll just leave me with less time on my hands to think about why i'm lonely, whether or not i should see a therapist, etc because i'll be too busy changing diapers. and when i'm still a lonely person with a kid, i'll end up being frustrated and depressed and i'll take it out on a poor, little child. is that what you want? mom & dad:....

mom & dad: being a parent would improve your character and make you more mature. me: [insert here an unspoken "well it didn't do that for you for sure" bec i can't say that to their face] why would i give a child, who literally shouldn't have that kind of responsibilities towards their parents, the duty to make me a better person? kids aren't supposed to a be tool for you to develop your personality and as an adult you shouldn't be relying on them for it. i'd rather attend a seminar or read a book on self-improvement, instead of burdening a child with that. mom & dad:....