#ok this isnt entirely true since some good issues he has a mouth too.

[spiderman616]

guide to my ideal shadow characterization if he has no mouth its good if he does THEN STAY THE FUCK AWAY!!!!

[saint-of-los-angeles]

Your Scars Remind Me,  That the Past Is Real

Hey y’all, this was requested via @motherfucker-oftheyear (thank you so much for asking me to write something for you, you beautiful human)

TRIGGER WARNING. MENTIONS OF PAST ABUSE AND SCARS FROM THAT ABUSE, IF THAT UPSETS YOU THIS ISNT THE FIC FOR YOU

Pairing: Nikki Sixx/ Tommy Lee (Do y’all expect any different by now?)

Summery: Nikki always has a shirt on, when he sleeps, when he fucks, all the time. Tommy wants to know why.

Disclaimer: THIS IS FICTION AND DIDNT REALLY HAPPEN OK

Also gonna tag some people that may like this? If you dont want it I’m sorry. LMAO

@tommyysixx @malibubarbievince @fan-with-issues @the--blackdahlia @sixx-tommy-roger-john @stellalux-universe @devil-shouted @merryy-go-round

If you asked either one of the Terror twins, it had taken entirely too long for them to finally get their shit together, to finally get their heads out of their ass, and acknowledge the feelings that had always been right in front of them since they had met in that shitty diner one year ago.

Better late than never, but the lost time had always bothered them both, especially Tommy. He knew he was greedy, but only when it came to Nikki. He wasn't ashamed of that, he was greedy, selfish, and couldn't get enough of the raven haired boy, and wanted him all to himself- all day every day.

Their world had changed just over one month ago,  while Tommy had been sitting on the railing of their balcony smoking a cigarette and drinking a beer, when Nikki had snuck up beside him, swinging himself up onto the railing next to the drummer, commenting on how unusual it was that he wasn’t in with the rest of the party.

Maybe it was the way the moonlight and artificial streetlights had shone in Nikki’s eyes, making them an even brighter shade of green than normal. Maybe it was the way the wind had pushed some of the straight black strands into his face, one rouge strand sticking to his lip and driving Tommy wild. Or maybe it was the way the Nikki’s thigh was plastered up to the side of his own, his warmth seeping through Tommy's skin tight leather pants to heat up his entire body. Tommy didn't know for sure, all that he knew was that if he went one more second without kissing Nikki, he was going to combust, so in a moment of hazy weakness he was cupping his bassist’s face and kissing him as deep as his trembling body would allow him, trying to sink himself into Nikki, because dammit if he was gonna get knocked out for this he was gonna make it worth it.

But Nikki was kissing back, arms snaking up to wrap around Tommy’s neck like they belonged there, like they did this all the time, like this was the most natural thing in the fucking world.

Everything had been perfect since that night, Tommy couldn’t ask for anything better. Nikki had moved him into his room (he had INSISTED on having the private room when they moved in together), he got to fall asleep with Nikki curled up in his arms, and he got to wake up the exact same way. He got to fuck Nikki on Vince’s bed when he pissed him off, and he had someone to plan a future with, both as a couple and as a band mate.

But there was one thing that bothered Tommy, he couldn’t put his finger on it but he knew Nikki was hiding something. Ever since they started having sex, something was off. Nikki would refuse to take his shirt off, everytime Tommy would make a move to remove his lover's shirt, Nikki would flip himself over, begging for Tommy to eat him out, or lurch forward to suck on the drummer's neck. Sometime's he'd just writhe on the bed, begging Tommy to just fuck him already, saying he couldn't wait one more second, he knew Tommy could never deny him anything. It seemed that Nikki would do anything, really, to distract Tommy from what he was about to do.

The one time in over a month that he had fucked Nikki completely naked, Nikki had spent about an hour in the bathroom beforehand and made sure all the lights were off and the curtains shut, letting very little light illuminate the room.

Nikki didn’t even sleep naked, which shocked the dummer. It was hot as hell in their tiny apartment, their lack of AC was always a problem in the summer and it was just now starting to cool down a little.

Tommy was determined to find out what his boyfriend was hiding and to be honest, he was at a complete loss. He didn’t know if maybe Nikki was insecure about his body, but that made absolutely no sense to Tommy because Nikki’s body absolutely wrecked him in the best possible way, but Tommy knew that sometimes people didn’t see themselves for what they truly were.

Sex with Nikki was fucking exhilarating, and based on the sinful sounds that left Nikki everytime Tommy would make him come, (he always knew Nikki would be a screamer), Tommy knew he felt the same way, but he wanted there to be no secrets in their relationship.

Absolutely none.

Because no matter how big or small, a secret is something that could ruin a relationship given enough time, and Tommy will not let that happen to him and Nikki.

He had always been known as someone who was so irresponsible in love, someone who would find their 'soulmate' one day, and be left heartbroken and hating the other's guts the next.

But this was different. He thought he knew what love was, but that was before. He had yet to tell Nikki those exact words, per say, he didn't want to scare the bassist off, didn't want him to think this was another one of his poorly thought out flings, so he tried to keep his affection limited to his gestures until he thought Nikki was ready for those words. He’d rather die, than lose Nikki at this point, and it scared him how true that was.

But Tommy didn’t want to think about that, he never liked to dwell on the negative too long. Life was short, and he tried to spend it as happily as he could, and it was what had Tommy skipping out early on the shittiest job he had yet. He had found a part time gig at a grocery store and it was perfect honestly, easy to steal some necessities when necessary, and day time hours only- meaning it didn’t interfere with the band at all.

Nevertheless, Tommy fucking hated it and was more than happy to slip his coworker some cash and his time card to swipe at quitting time, and pray his boss didn’t notice. It was a big store after all. He missed Nikki, and Nikki was particularly grumbly when he had to drag his ass out of bed this morning, arms in a vice-like grip around Tommy’s stomach, begging him to stay home. When Nikki had started peppering kisses on his shoulder, he had almost gave in, but fuck, someone had to make sure they had enough beer to get the adequately drunk after their concert this weekend, and Tommy was nothing if not a team player.

But even if he gets caught, he had earned enough this week, and Nikki’s sad eyes when he had gotten out of bed were replaying over and over in his mind. So he was walking down the street towards his apartment, trying to keep from actually skipping as he made his way back towards his home and towards his boyfriend.

Tommy was cautious to keep quiet as he turned the doorknob to his apartment- they never did bother to lock the door. He didn’t want to disturb Nikki if he was still sleeping, the older man had a late night last night absolutely agonizing over lyrics, scribbling words out on paper only to crumple them up and toss them over his shoulder onto the floor of their living room, grumbling about how they just weren’t good enough until Tommy had tossed the notebook aside and planted himself in Nikki’s lap in it’s place, proceeding to make the bassist forget all about his creative block with his mouth attached to Nikki’s neck.

But upon entering the apartment Tommy heard the shower running and he smiled to himself.

Brilliant.

Vince had spent the last few nights at his latest girlfriend’s house, so he knew it had to be Nikki, and what better way to surprise Nikki than some shower sex? Nikki would fucking love it.

As he creeped into the bathroom, shutting the door quietly behind him, he squinted through the steam to make out the shape of his boyfriend's body through the shower door, smiling to himself when he heard Nikki humming ‘Live Wire’ under his breath. He loved Crue’s music anyway, but he loved it even more because he remembered Nikki writing that song, shoving the lyrics in his face with the most satisfied, toothy grin on his face, and throwing himself on top of Tommy when he commented how much he loved it. That was the moment that Tommy decided that, yeah, he was in love with Nikki.

Opening the shower door with a smile on his face and a ‘surprise’ coming out of his lips, Nikki’s reaction was about the exact opposite of what Tommy had expected. Tommy barely had time to blink before Nikki was jumping in surprise, and shoving him out the still open door, his words harsh and reverberating to Tommy’s core when he growled “Get the fuck out of here, T-bone!”.

Tommy could do nothing but stand on the other side of the door, blinking at the wooden barrier between him and his boyfriend in shock.

What the fuck was that?

He had barely caught a glimpse of Nikki’s green eyes before he was shoved out the door with a strength that he had only caught glimpses of when Nikki had gotten into some fights with some loudmouths on the streets, but a strength that was never directed towards him.

Again, Tommy found himself wondering, What the fuck was that?

“Nik? Baby… what’s wro..”

“Go the fuck away, Tommy.”

Tommy could honestly cry hearing those words come out of Nikki’s mouth. Hearing the love his life, his best friend, tell him he didn’t want to be around him.

If it had been anyone else, Tommy would have left, stormed off to go stew at a friends house or at a bar, but this wasn’t just anyone. This was Nikki. No, he wasn’t going to leave, because despite Nikki’s harsh words Tommy knew that this was what Nikki did, this was how he handled emotions. Nikki feels threatened, overwhelmed, or any kind of overpowering emotion and he resorts to pushing people away, but he never wants them to go away, not really. Despite outer appearances Nikki fears being alone more than anything, and Tommy knew Nikki needed him right now.

Something was wrong, something had always been wrong, and at this point Tommy didn’t care if Nikki wanted to talk or not, he wasn’t going to leave.

So Tommy sat down on their dingy carpet and leaned himself up against the wall, hoping his presence would seep through the drywall and comfort the older man. Tommy could hear him sniffling and trying to pull himself together through the thin wooden door. It took everything inside of Tommy to not burst through the door and hug his boyfriend, to force that love and comfort on him, but Tommy knew that wouldn't help Nikki the same way it would help him if their situations were reversed.

He was going to have to let Nikki come to him.

“I’m… I’m not going anywhere, baby. It’s okay… I promise it's okay. Come out when you’re ready, I love you.”

Tommy swore he could hear Nikki choking out a sob at his words, but he said nothing, leaning his head back to thunk against the wall and shutting his eyes, ready for the long wait he knew he had before him.

Tommy wasn’t sure how long he had dozed off for, but when he was brought out of his unintentional nap on his hallway floor, the light outside had begun to fade into orange with the California sunset and there was a body sitting next to him on the floor.

He blinked at Nikki’s stony face, trying to get a reading on anything the bassist was thinking, but he was coming up empty. Nikki’s face was purposely blank, and Tommy hated it more than anything.

Reaching toward the older man, Tommy brushed some hair out of his boyfriend’s eyes to reveal the shining green that hid behind the thick locks of raven hair. Upon looking into his eyes, Tommy saw Nikki’s mask crack a tiny bit, his bottom lip quivering before taking it between his teeth, biting hard to will it to be still.

And for the first time since waking up, Tommy noticed, Nikki didn’t have a shirt on, he was sitting in the floor in his boxers, and their were scars littering the bassists chest, stomach and shoulders. Tommy’s brows furrowed in confusion and his studied the small circular scars, and there was one particularly large one on Nikki’s left pec and what the fuck.

“Can’t believe you’re still out here. It’s been like 2 hours.” Nikki’s voice pulled Tommy’s eyes away from the scars and back to his eyes, it sounded much too rough for Tommy’s ears. He longed to hear the happy, warm tone that Nikki’s voice always gets whenever he tells Tommy he loves him, he wants that voice back, goddammit.

“Where else would I be? I’m not just gonna abandon you Nikki, I really wish you’d believe that.”

And it was the truth. Nikki’s abandonment issues had surfaced well before the two had ever become intimate with each other, rearing their ugly heads whenever the two had a disagreement, leaving Nikki expecting to have to fill the Tommy sized hole in his heart with whatever illegal substances would fit in it, but he never could seem to chase the drummer away despite his imperfections and traumas.

Nikki was looking at him, mask crumbling more with each passing second, and he just looked so fucking grateful that Tommy was still here, it was hurting his heart to even look at Nikki. The fact that Nikki was so clueless about what it was like to be loved still hurt Tommy.

“They’re from… from my mom.” Tommy continued to stare at Nikki’s face as he turned his head to avoid meeting Tommy’s eyes. “Sometimes her boyfriends. Cigarettes usually, the big one was a curling iron.”

Fuck, Tommy needed to be the strong one here, Nikki needed him, but he couldn’t help the tears stinging his eyes. Who could do this to any child, let alone Nikki, his beautiful Nikki, the dark angel that he never knew he needed in his life until he came into it, and now the drummer couldn’t live without him and fuck, Nikki had hidden this for so long and he really needs to breathe but its so fucking HARD-

“I use makeup for photoshoots and shows. No one… No one has ever seen them before. You’re the first. I fucking hate them, they’re so fucking ugly and just remind me of all those fuckng bastards...”

Yeah, Tommy was crying now, but he wasn’t ashamed of it, this was his baby, the love of his life, and listening to the self deprecating talk, listening to Nikki use the word ‘ugly’ referring to himself was too fucking much. If it had been anyone else saying those words, Tommy would have beat their ass into the ground, but this was Nikki, and Nikki was holding tears back too he could tell, and then Tommy was taking his face and turning it to meet the bassist’s shiny eyes again.

“The story behind those might be ugly, Nikki, but you’re so fucking beautiful. I- I love you so fucking much.”

Nikki was sobbing then, throwing himself on Tommy’s lap, and Tommy was shocked at first at the rare display of vulnerability. Tommy felt the burning nerves and muscles in his body begin to sooth now that he had Nikki in his arms. He rocked the bassist back and forth, shushing him and petting his hair, happy to be there to comfort him when he needed him. Tommy was prepared to sit there and do this all fucking night if he had to.

Tommy sat there for the next 15 minutes, holding his boyfriend while he unleashed all the tears and frustrations and hurts that he had built up in his body, until he felt the older man pull back enough to plant a hard kiss on his lips.

Tommy smiled into the kiss, the tingling feeling remaining on his lips when Nikki pulled back to mumble out an I love you to the drummer. Tommy leaned forward and peppered Nikki’s collarbone with kisses, a gasp leaving the bassist’s throat when Tommy’s lips dipped down to the large scar on his pectoral muscle, the drummer sucking a love bite into the darkened flesh.

“You always said you like it when I leave hickies behind, right? Well that’s my new permanent hickey spot.”

Nikki was choking out a laugh, his eyes sparkling despite the fact that his tears had dried up. They now sparkled with the love he held for his drummer, his savior.

“No one will ever touch you like that again, babe. I don't want you looking at that spot and thinking of her, I want you to look at it and think of me.”

Nikki managed to let out a smile at his boyfriend's words, letting them wash over his heart and appease his soul and he tucked himself back under Tommy’s chin and just let himself be held. He was smiling into Tommy’s T-shirt, with the love bite that was sucked into his chest seeped through the cold memories that had imbedded themselves into that scar and dispelled them.

“Thank God, I was tired of waking up sweaty from my T-shirt’s.” Nikki mumbled into Tommy’s chest and felt the rumble as the drummer huffed out a laugh into his hair.

In that moment, Nikki knew that there wasn’t one scar that he had that Tommy couldn’t heal, and he couldn’t help but feel eternally grateful that the drummer was persistent enough to push through his initial resistance to anything involving love or comfort.

“Come on, your back has to be killing you.”

And then Nikki was standing up, pulling Tommy with him with a peck to the lips, headed to their bed to sleep comfortably for the first time in years.

[sikereviewdotcom]

strawberry shortcake s2 ep1 - horse of a different color

this one was suggested by someone who couldnt keep their mouth shut and not sing the strawberry shortcake intro theme in the middle of our economy class

no one wanted to hear that, but they  went ahead and then i actually followed up on that train of thoughts i remembered about the fucking cartoons and i knew it pronto: its a must-see shit its like slightly above the level of magical school bus series, but the final rating is for the fin not the beginning so lets begin this horseshit:

were reviewing “horse of a different color”, it focuses indeed on strawberrys horse, honey pie pony (its her entire damn name, how sweet right? like all of them, i got diabete from this review but its the cost of maintaining this blog anyway, the kids are playing together on a that tree having fun jumping around like chimpanzees hooba hooba but sadly our filly quickly realizes she cant play king kong with them and keep falling on her ass,

yet since theyre all retarded or young (id say its a fifty-fifty case for them kinda normal ig, i mean they ARE literal 6yo) they try several ways of getting her up on that tree, not thinking how to get her down if they ever were to succeed (good for them: aint happening) its child labor too btw, from an horse still same deal what if honey pie fell down on them? crushing them corpses with her mighty pounds? the findus company would be delighted to hear such news, im sure its some quality (sweet ass) horse meat

once it all fails she understands a horse isnt meant to climb a tree, too big too fat its four legged, not even entertaining the relationship giraffes have with trees

but it aint over, then (after a talk with herself) hp hears the laughters of a bunch of kids which catches her attention, it always does who can ignore that sorta noise? although she aint annoyed by it shes just into the idea of riding a bike now, shes even gonna get a go at it oh yea thats it we finally found her human hobby gogdamn shes a backward furry

of course it fails aswell since she has no hand for the handle and shes heavy so i guess its the reason why she rides into w/e and cant stop? because otherwise she couldve also just.. actually it makes no sense does it? i mean she couldve easily stopped the ride actually how is that kid bike even holding her? ive never tried putting a pony on a bike for 6 y/o but i doubt about its capacity in not being crushed aswell as i doubt in the kids bones not being severely damaged after a visit under honey pies horsy buttcheeks

but all of that really makes her sad: she cant play with her human friends and shes the only horse around strawberry land or whatever see me tearing it for her, theres so much emotions in this episode especially after that filly trynna get kids to get into some horseplay horseshit like dude theyre only 6, lets go easy on them, might have a problem with the parents of the kids watching this episode no one even thought how fucked up this one part is? sure horseplay isnt only sexual or w/e but it still is the visual of 6yos on all four jumping around and neighing together with their ass a little bit too exposed wow im going on a dangerous road here? aint i? not gonna sue the writers im sure it was their subconscious speaking probably got issues from their childhood, eventually got them sorted out since 2004 what do i know? aside from me not caring

back on track : after seeing horsey being so sad the kiddos decide to get her a horse friend but where the fuck? they got no idea, they are proud nonetheless and go tell honey the good new until they are like “wait but we have no idea where to find horses!” ofc we get a big reveal, some serious strawberry shortcake lore: actually all the horses, ALL OF THEM FROM THE ENTIRE FUCKING PLANET are on one (1) single island: ice cream themed to diversify it all they are just chilling over there in ponyland and for some reason this one here got lost or idk guys she took the boat and checked the rest of the world out as an even younger filly, found strawberry and her friends and decided now she was a centaur  slash humanrry furry human, idk you get it but shes their friend and so on to introduce the concept of an AWESOME island full of equestrian activity and ofc ice cream but its kinda lame because who cares? everythings already made out of food, also why isnt the ice cream melting? its one water? nevermind for the introduction as i was saying, hp sings an horrendous sounding song it deteriorated my ear drums they got pierced or something  or maybe im exagerrating? either case horses cant sing:

so to the ice cream land they go, huh

of course it wouldnt be a big adventure without an almost broken bridge oh no whatever shall we do? could we possibly cross it safely? lets try it out  guys: yay it worked good for us little stress and suspense it was wack how they got honey pie out of the hole her big ass hoove made im mesmerized by the power of friendship and sugar at this point, just in full awe for the rest of the episode probably over dosed on all the ice cream flavoured horseshit, i got some all over my mouth its dripping on my desk i gotta clean that later

next thing we know: horses its all this episode is about (aside from labor) but you see, so far hp would switch between normal human language and neighing well turns out her other fellow equines can only neigh and so they just neigh together while our english well-spoken mammal translates to the moronic kids who just smile smuggly

of course the animals are having a welcome party then, dancing around while the morons are just bored, harsh one being a cartoon character isnt it guys? w/e theyre gonna ask for honey pie to come back home now, convinced that her natural habit isnt her place and she loves them too much to just leave them and never come back and break any plans they ever had together- oh shit looks like shes leaving forever huh? what a plot twist mark that on the bitch quota for today

the first one to leave is the little boy btw, important thing to note: hes the biggest pussy he cant even face reality: oh no, no more pony back time before sleep thats quite a bummer, downer and man how are they going to survive now they got no animal to watch over them? jesus theyre soon, on the boat (idk where they got it from idk why suddenly theyre on a boat because then theyre once again gonna cross that bridge but ok) anyway yea theyre having a relationship crisis during that ship trip yada yada ah and the bridge, because (see i do not call them morons for now reasons obviously they deserve this title not only because theyre 6 but also because they are just daft:) they proceed, once in the middle of the bridge all 4 of them, to stop and wonder

“will the bridge be able to hold all of us? wont it break? damn i wonder if it will crack” and they talks without moving until vlam: a tree comes and breaks it (dont ask) so now theyre in trouble:

back to ponyland: bitch pie realizes how much she misses her actual friends and that she can speak english which her other horse friends cant do so she is special and probably abnormal, shes a big outcat of the pony society and has no other reason but to escape her incoming death sentence for fraternizing with the humans of course none of the second part is true, she just wants to see the kids again so she says asta la vista baby to the neigher team and runs away see, she hasnt taken the boat and yet also arrive to the bridge? why a boat sequence then? i will skip this for now but it WILL play in the rating, imagine im the parent of the youngster watching this crap and i have to endure it

if it sucks this bad and is this illogical i might just get bored and change the channel, idc my progeny aint gonna be watching this in either case, ill make them watch political debates then interrogate them on what they learned after what but it wasnt actual political debates just random furry youtuber venting with their fursona sprites animated and thats how you make your kids retarded, the kick of this joke is that i aint planning on getting any kids but totally gonna make them watch classics too such as the attack of the killer donuts as soon as they reach 6 so they wont be dumb and probably not getting diabete or w/e in their adulthood

then honey pie saves the kids btw all of them, heavy shit

and they all go back to strawberryland, happily after a big “wow i missed you sm, you are my real friends w/e if you dont look like me i aint speciest guys really!” theyre all vegan too btw so this works for them i havent watched enough strawberry shortcake episodes to know if they ever eat meat but i have doubts seeing how theyre into a very cannibalistic diet which include eating dessert when obviously thats what they are at least half part, this cartoon raises a lot of political questions it may have a deeper value than i first attributed to it

the end: another terrible song plays about horseshit and how tasty it is

thats all folks

so the rating: big 6/10, so you know 5/10 if its a decent kid show where im highly eager to click on the x and get back making jams but nah

surprisingly enough, i only wanted to stop watching half of the episode and not the entirity of it so credits for thats since im an adult and not a kid, imagining kids enjoyed this sweet childish cartooness or w/e now why +1? its because of how many political questions it raised, how it made me think about our society and cakes yknow its more than kids having a conflict with an horse it talks about veganism, specism, handicap, cannibalism, the management of the limited ressources were exploiting and so on yea really makes you think, its subliminal messages to make kids smarter: they watch their dessert-imbecile counterparts doing bs and then get it right irl: good  ah- it also makes it better for you when youre watching this with your kid, you suddenly transcend to another level of spirituality, existential crisis activated or at least reasoning mode or w/e youre willing to name this the point is you arent bored still despite all of this i rated it quite low for such a serious kid cartoon what couldve possibly made me tic? 1) kids are morons and cant understand all of this, not clear enough for the targeted public 2) projection onto the characters/dialogues from the writers of their childhood traumas (the horse play event didnt go unnoticed, karren brown) 3) my little pony ripoff 4) its controversial, our society, especially in 2004 couldnt understand the depth of this shit and finally 5) i got so much ice cream flavoured horseshit all over my desk god help me this is so filthy what a fucking mess i would totally recommand it to anyone who feels like being blown away by the statements made in this work of art 6/10 but really we all know in the future, itll be a 9/10, some ahead-of-its-time-crap

tg, out

[survivorcostarica]

Ep. 1 - “Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on...” - Randy

i cant see pls send imitrex

i have a crush on cole, i'm in this game and virgin islands with him and i really like talking to him.  he is really genuine and easy to talk to, i feel ridiculous for admitting this but this was the first thing i thought to confess about lol

I want to shoot myself in the fucking face what is my tribe?! 

Cole is such a messy thot, Kevin is that but without being remotely good at the game, Arika and Julia are best friends IRL and 1000% will be working together. Louise is a fucking saint but that also terrifies me because I can't do shit against her without being a terrible person. At least Madison is really down to earth and chill even thought I've known her for two days and met her on Club Penguin. I don't know Bryce, Noah or the other one so they're 1000% my go to people right now.

Ohkay hi hi. My name is Bryan and I’m here to try and NOT flop at this game. Ok sooo. I’m looking at my tribe and i notice. My best friend Madison is here. Just kidding i HATE her. Or at least that’s what i will want people to think so we aren’t targeted for our friendship or whatever cuz we had BEEF in our last game. Um. Josh is also here. I was in another game with him but i didn’t really get to talk to him that much. Other than that cole and Kevin seem nice enough and are talkative so that’s good. I guess I’ll just be able to talk more with other people later.

Imagine suffering, imagine euthanizing yourself, imagine losing your will to continue on in an ORG you were last minute filled into. I literally hate this whole tribe so much, and I'm going into this game with the mindset that we are losing every single immunity and reward. When I saw the first three cast reveal posts i prayed i wasnt on the orange tribe. i actually believed and god, and asked him for forgiveness for all the sins ive committed and pleaded my case to on why i shouldnt be on this tribe. but, alas here i am. so its time to play i guess I'm not good with social game, and thats why i usually fail at survivor. I always have a good first few days, but then its just me being inactive and skirmming my way until my inevitable premerge eviction. But in this game im literally going to pull all the stops i can. I will start to set up my reputation as a good survivor player. And it starts here. Even if nobody pms me I will take this game by storm. Meaning right now its getting good with the influential such as Jay and Drew. They have a few buds on the other tribe, and working with them can only help me when we hit merge. i'm also going to keep Chrissa tight because she is just such a good ally, but its also going to be hard to protect her as she is such a shit competitor. But thats all plans let me talk about to cast Cameron: Love cameron our last org played together we made final 3, and he asked me to cut him. I will keep him under my sphere of influence especially since he said he isnt familiar with this group of players Chrissa: I also love chrissa. She can be a little annoying sometimes, but she always has good intentions. She is fiercely loyal, and thats something great to have in an ally because numbers are more important in survivor than big brother Constance: I don't like him. I want nothing to do with him. The closest association I ever had with constance was us two being on the same cast reveal post. And I'm far more than content with that interaction. He's from facebook, and that means he is going to stir the pot when there isn't any stirring necessary. He is going to make a move just to make a move, and if I cut him earlier the better. But if I can work with him, and test and experience how he plays this game. I do think it would be more entertaining Drew: I have good relations with him but really havent played an org with him. I have no intentions on backstabbing him especially in this cast. I do think he will either slide into the shadows, or emerge as the person calling the shots for this tribe. Jay: Same as Drew tbh. They're together as a duo, so anything one does the other will follow. I'm not going to beef with him Jill: I haven't met Jill before this. but she is the driest person i have pm'd in a while. Me and her are having forced small talk, but i dont want to lose connections with her yet. I'm hoping she isnt well liked or well received so she can leave. Reagan: Me and her have butted heads so many times in vls. If you wanted a fight. Its going to be between me and her i bet your hat. Sam: I dont know if he's a newbie or from a community. But me and him kicked things off really well, and I'm feeling natural chemistry with him. I'll keep him near my sphere of influence for sure. Roxy: Going against Roxy is such a stupid move. Because she's just going to waste her whole entire game trying to vote you off. She gets really bitter easily, and i dont know what the hell she's saying half of the time. I dont understand her game or her mouth so im just gonna let her be...

[12:25:40 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: dam stop tryna out do my intro  do I have to add my likes too?  tch [12:25:48 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I like big BUTTS and I cannot lie [12:25:53 PM] Chrissa Bullard: lol [12:26:54 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: okay Ill admit idc about the size of your butt [12:27:01 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: even if you have a small butt id still potentially like u [12:27:12 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: but yall are gay so like  what can a straight gal like me do [12:27:29 PM] Chrissa Bullard: hello sam and roxy with her butt equality [12:29:22 PM] Jill: if u wanna be my friend add me and SAY hey bc i forget to add people [12:29:53 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and I say HEY what a wonderful kinda day [12:29:54 PM] Jill: also msg me ur pronouns thanks [12:29:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: you can learn and work and play [12:30:26 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: my pronouns are "my lord" and "your highness" [12:30:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: I said I was a she cause dan didn't take me seriously even tho imma hella serious [12:30:52 PM] Cameron Bee-Culpepper (Atomic Admin): my pronouns are he/they and they are actually serious :) [12:31:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: oi how dare you say I aint serious [12:31:36 PM] Chrissa Bullard: your highness is serious do not get my lords pronouns wrong :P [12:31:41 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: :/ I'm the lord and the queen roxy herself [12:31:42 PM] Chrissa Bullard: seriously though [12:31:47 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: of course my pronoun is your highness [12:31:57 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: thank you ! see? chrissa gets it! [12:32:02 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: look I even have a crown as proof [12:32:07 PM] Chrissa Bullard: true [12:32:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i trans-itioned from being a commoner to being a queen [12:32:51 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: also if i don't pm you its cause i avoid social interactions at all times [12:33:00 PM] Chrissa Bullard: a mood [12:33:05 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: and i haven't left  my house in 9 days [12:33:13 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: apart from an hour once to go to the gym [12:33:17 PM] 👑 Queen Roxy 👑: i haven't recovered since i take medicine. its called coffee. it helps releave the symptoms of being dead inside

My tribe is probably going to be useless. Which means that we have to turn it OUT for immunity. Randy, Roxy and I are all attempting to make flags. I have faith in Randy's abilities... roxy, not so much. But she does have a good artistic ability, so I hope she turns it out for this. We can hope. We can hope.

Blah blah blah. Confessional confessional. The immunity comp is a flag making competition. Which means i can’t really participate. The one we have so far tho is super cute!! There’s a Julia on our tribe. I have to start learning people’s names. Ugh. Too much work. 

I think like our tribe will win immunity, looking at cadejo’s scores, they seem like flops I mean that tribe is super ugly so ya know… cute is gonna devour gorgeous. Anyways Anthony is doing great at the flag I gave him the ideas, he executed them for me so everyone is great. Also i got this red KEY

I really don't like my tribe but I think I like the other tribe even less just from the few people I've encountered before or at the very least heard about. If anything though that's great for me because I have all of two or three people I remotely care about so I have no issues with taking people out.

RANDY'S FLAG LOOKS TERRIBLE! but we're going with that one anyway!!! even though its literally furry meme nonsense!!! so i hope to god i dont get targetted when we lose bc i made an effort not to be a grumpy ass beyotch!

ummm roxy said she and sam wanna align with me!! it's so early!!! I may work with Reagan bc we worked together previously I think!! Everyone else seems fine. I'm gunna msg drew and everyone else tomorrow or later and say hey I've been napping!!! Go team

I honestly think im going because peop le don't tell me anything I'm scared 

[3/28/18, 1:55:57 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): "I love y-...ughch..." [3/28/18, 1:56:05 AM] Drew (heuse1ac): Cameron 2k18 im just gonna put this here ;)

Anyway. Here's some tea. Roxy thinks I talk too much about being in the hospital. Sorry sweaty, I'm disabled, I'm gonna be in the hospital. And I have the right to talk about whatever I want. ANYWAY, Constance, the literal loml, gave me this tea so that's great. I LOVE HIM. So we made an alliance of me and drew, because drew has a "bad reputation" (sweetie, you were the one making tasteless comments night one, let's not get it twisted here!!) We talk a bunch, we have good laughs, and we head to bed. I went into this round wanting to target Roxy anyway, but she just went painted a bullseye on her back for me!

This first round felt so nostalgic to me, in the sense that being gone from these games for a while allowed me to step back and revitalize the way that I play games. In the beginning of the game, I felt an immediate connection with Cameron. He is someone who has a really nice, personable outlook as a person and I could see myself becoming really good allies and friends outside of this game. I also really enjoy Drew, Sam and Jill. Drew: I was excited to see him in this game because we just met a few days before the game started because he flirted with me a little and I thought he was a nice guy in general. I haven't had the chance of getting to know him all that well yet, though he stated to me that he will not write my name down throughout the game when we were first added to the tribe, so I hope that stays as promised. Sam: We both come from the same community but we both individually transferred to Tumblr at different points in time. I don't know him well enough to say he could be someone I stay with for the long run, but I have had a few calls with him and he seems pretty straightforward about what he wants in this game and where he wants to go. I'll leave it at that for now. Jill: She is literally everything that is me. "I'm going to see my sugar daddy," "I am eating a whole barbecque chicken pizza to myself," "I need money" I LOVE THIS CHICK! We need to align and become friends for sure because I can't see myself without her! One smaller relationship I have is with Chrissa and that will require some work on my part, both game wise and friend wise included. We had a rough past on a personal note but we are working our ways around it to become friends again on a personal level, not even on a game level. I feel like if Chrissa is able to handle herself in this game with me the way she did in Arrakis ages ago, she should be good to go with me! The people I really don't talk with or connect with right now are Jay, Roxy, Randy and Regan. - Jay just hasn't spoken a lot, but that may be subject to change? - Regan has this huge negative perception that everyone has given about her and I'm honestly not about holding past games or whatnot against anyone. If she is as crazy or as ballistic as people say she is then that will happen on it's own accord. - Randy is..Randy. I'm not really putting a whole lot here. He comes off extremely weird to me and I'm not feeling it. - Roxy and Randy both share the same trait they don't mind expressing: their messy players. I'm not one to want to play with people who are going to knowingly make things difficult for me in this game moving forward. I feel like getting out people who tend to be wildcards for my individual game will boost my ability to better know the personalities I surround myself with. Intended Target: Roxy Reason: I had a call with Sam and discussed some feelings about the challenge for the flag that had taken place. In my individual opinion, expressing the idea of putting in effort for a challenge and then doing the opposite of what you said you would do, shows a false sense of sportsmanship and that bothers me. Roxy said she would make a temporary flag as a concept, but never did and constantly said "I'm lazy, so I don't want to do it." Adding on to the reason above, I was asked if I wanted to be added to a call with Sam by Roxy as they were both speaking with each other and I said I wouldn't mind joining. We both tried asking Roxy about potential ideas for the vote off and Roxy made it clear that Regan would be too easy to get rid of. Then came the critical point of the conversation where Roxy would bring up Cameron and Drew's names, stating that Drew apparently has a bad or weird reputation in the Tumblr community of games, but this is COSTA RICA not any other game. She also stated in regards to Cameron word for word that, "I just think Cameron talks about themselves too much in the main chat, and that brings people to feel for them more, and that makes them look bad" and this was in relation to when Cameron stated he was in the hospital. I found that to be extremely bothersome because otherwise, Cameron has never talked about himself constantly or anything like that. My intentions are to pull myself, Drew, Cameron, Jill, Sam and Jay to vote out Roxy. I started the idea when I asked Sam on call blatantly and he agreed and I calmly took it by step. That's all I have folks! I hope this works out and if for some odd reason I go home first, well then it was fun while it lasted! 

Okay so I need to catch yall up on how shit can turn into bliss SO reward I literally ate shit in. i scored to lowest out of everybody in the whole cast. Making myself inferior to competition flops like Chrissa. So that wasnt really well. However my soccial game has been stepping up. Even though im lacking a little bit in the pm part of my game. I have been having good chemistry with literally everybody in the tribe chat. I have also led us in the flag immunity. So me and Cameron made a flag. And the tribe had to pick which one, and it was pretty set even. I do think the end result wouldve been the same but it was nice to see people on my side and supporting me. So then we lose the tribal flag, and im literally yeeted away from the tribe. Which is really good since with this tribal vote i wouldve been thrown under the bus. allegedely roxy has been throwing names around, and had i stayed in the tribe it might of been my name that was thrown around since it was my flag that lost. so im happy to avoid the drama of the first vote. but now that people have bonded since roxy's polarization im starting to become more outcasted. I just need go stronger for immunities and amp up my social game even more. Since ive been to the other tribe I have a feeling on whats happening. Cole is aligned with all them bitches. Literally Madison Louise are people he's played with before, and when we talked in pms he said this tribe is full of his friends. He is very safe in his tribe which is really nice. Since the League of Gays need to work together at the merge : ~)