#ok peeps. please don’t leave comments below if you see this

[a-very-fond-farewell]

._.

[guudak]

andante, andante

pairing: jungkook / oc genre + tags: college au, f2l, alcohol, pining word count: 7,522 The aftermath of your best friend singing that ABBA song, clumsily flirting with you and then drunkenly professing his love to you multiple times in the same night.

“Is he ok? Namjoon, what’s he doing?” 

“He’s severely hungover,” he explains to you, propping an arm on the windowsill. His hand gestures. “This is his remedy.” 

You look out the window again, overseeing the frat’s backyard, and down below at the deck - is the person you sought. The gales shake the trees, you can hear it howl, and not to mention the downpour of rain that had you soaked to the skin through your jeans between your sprint from the bus stop to here. You look back at Namjoon, disbelieved. “What, sitting in a hot tub outside in the middle of a hale storm?”

“Erm, well, not the storm bit. That was just unfortunate. Sitting meditatively in a hot tub though, yeah. He does that a lot, moreso when he has something on his mind.” He peeps a discreet eye at you while you claim a seat on the ledge. Your arms cross, huddling your oversized cardigan over yourself as you glance back at the mop of matted black hair on the deck. Jungkook is sitting very still, laying back, eyes closed and his neck craning upwards towards the gloomy sky. A breath of air expels from your nose when you imagine how cold the rain must be. 

“I really wanted to talk to him in person … I don’t know, do you think I should have waited a few days?” You turn to Namjoon who shakes his head. 

“It’s good you came here. I think it would have left him to assume the worst and overthink otherwise, and you know what he’s like - better to confront him sooner than later. He’s been in a kind of sad, mopey daze since this morning.”

Your lips purse together as you mull this over. “I don’t necessarily want to confront him about it now, not if he doesn’t want to yet. I just want to see him and … make sure he’s ok. Because you know, that … overthinking thing he does.”

The upward lift of Namjoon’s lips is soft, the same kind of softness that’s perceptible in his eyes. The look reminds you of Jungkook’s own gentle demeanour. “I think seeing you here will disorient him a litte, but I think deep down he’ll be relieved. ” 

He invites you to sit in the warmth of the lounge downstairs while you wait. The house of Beta Tau Sigma is cosy, and your favourite visits are always during the winter period when they’d decorate the interior, reminding you very much of the setting of a classic Christmas movie. Alas, however, it isn’t winter, and there are still strewn cups around and a broken lamp on the table in front of you; consequence of the party they hosted the previous night.

You’re surprised Jungkook remembers. He’d been so far-gone yesterday, yet you woke up this morning to four successive texts from him -

i’m sorry

im so so sorry.

can we talk

please

You’d thought over a tactful reply; taking into mind Jungkook: despite the calm, rational front he has - is emotional, an individual with a soul as sensitive as they come. You had to be careful with what you said, but soon after aborted all efforts when you’d found yourself backspacing each time. You prefer face-to-face conversation, and for something like this - you couldn’t possibly venture any other approach that would be befitting. For anyone else, perhaps. But Jungkook isn’t just someone else. He’s your best friend.

You check the text in reply that you’d left for him from two hours ago, which is still left unread.

 hi jungkook i’d love to talk

are u ok

Sleeping it over had dulled the shock from the night before, as hearing it from him had been a double whammy for both your head and heart. You hadn’t known what to think, hadn’t known what to say.

In his tastefully tipsy state he’d been very happy. The chirpy go-lucky sort of happy that made you coo. Tipsy Jungkook is sweet and endearing, more affectionate and made it his mission to pull you with him to the karaoke machine. You’d been friends with him long enough to know that he could sing. He’s a soft singer; has a voice that could be lullaby to late sleepy evenings, it’s one you’d heard snippets of because he did it without conscious thought; he hummed in the car, while waiting in line - one of his many mannerisms that makes clear when he’s in his head.

“ABBA? Good choice,” you’d commented, after he jabbed the numbers on the remote. He budged over so you could sit beside him on the armchair. So cramped and close that you moved to drape your leg over one of his, and he welcomed it. “Not their most popular song, but definitely one of their most soulful. That’s a good one, it’s one of my favourites,” and then he stilled. 

At the cease of his movements, you’d found your spine straightening just slightly, as if on guard, but for what you hadn’t been sure. You were about to ask him if he was ok, only to be taking the brunt of his bright puppy eyes that smile at you.

“Me too,” he’d said, with that characteristic gentleness shining in his orbs. 

A few hours later, he’d morphed from sweet boy-next-door with the angel voice to himbo football jock slash and quote “pussy-whisperer,” courtesy and words verbatim of Park Jimin, who vibed with Jock Jungkook like a long lost brother. 

The amount of girls that suddenly flocked to him and sat on his lap had you reeling in hysterics to the extent that you had to bury your face in Hoseok’s shoulder. Even when Jungkook’s on the football team, you’d never thought of him once as a jock. Didn’t they say all jocks are athletes, but not all athletes are jocks? He’d never lived up to the greasy college stereotype. Turned out maybe some alcohol was missing in the mix. Was this what you were missing? Who knew he had it in him?

“How many have you had, man?” Hoseok had asked, and Jungkook grinned, mouth lop-sided, before then thwacking him solidly on the back. 

“I’m good, thanks for asking, man.” 

“That wasn’t what I - ok,” Hoseok winced, clutching at his shoulder blade, and exchanging a bemused look at you. 

You were alert to the sliding gaze of Jungkook on you. He slid into the chair close beside you, and you propped your elbow onto the counter. Head resting in your palm, you’d anticipated it.

“Hey, cutie.”

And there it was.

Your mouth twitched during your attempt to stifle your laugh, but you were eager to play along. You straightened, not shy to look him direct in the eyes, even when his own wandered to your midriff. “Hey.”

A moment’s pause, before he let out a wistful sigh. 

“Holy shit, I love your boobs.”

Hoseok spat into his cup, a succession of coughs after.

“No, I’m just saying, from a non-biased, impersonal point of view …” He made a vague, rounded motion in the air with his hands, “- they’re really nice. I’m saying this objectively.”

“Objectively,” Hoseok wheezed. You aimed a calculated kick at his ankle.

“Thanks! They’re not much but they’re cute, I grew them all by myself.”

Jungkook hummed in acknowledgement, a critical eye on you and his head bobbing solemnly. “You did a good job.”

“Oh my God,” Hoseok was crying; head ducked, full-blown tears of laughter, ears pink and slapping the countertop. “I’m not drunk enough for this.”

“Yours are pretty neat, too,” you told him. 

He looked down at the outline of his chest. “You think so? I’ve been working out but they could do with a bit more volume.” 

Hoseok was doubling over, desperate to leave but at the same time rooted to the spot, thumping his chest to stop himself from choking. “I can’t take this anymore. I’m gonna die if I stay any longer. See you, guys.”

He left, leaving you alone with Jungkook and a few others in the kitchen. “You alright?” you asked, and he nodded again, smiling tiredly and head lolling a little to the side.

“Did you like the song I sang for you earlier?” 

“You sang it for me? How sweet of you,” you cooed, cuddling up to his side. “You know, if you wanted to touch my boobs, if you asked I think I’d be ok with that.”

He seemed hesitant. “You’re bullshitting.” 

“Ok, maybe I am a little,” you chuckled, feeling the rumble resonating from his chest. 

“Seriously,” he murmured, and for a millisecond, you swore you detected the tone of the Jungkook - not this Jungkook who was a confident force, but the one you were most familiar with, “I think I’d -”

Jimin’s voice boomed above the stereo, “Jungkook! It’s your turn! Get your ass back here!”

A heavy sigh was drawn out from him as he slid his chair back. Though, he waited for you to lift your head from his chest before doing so. 

“See you.” He winked at you before following Jimin’s ongoing calls. Though, more of a wink and a half. He never could wink properly with just one eye, both had to be involved.

Then came the finale.

The most recent drunken Jungkook phase - one you’d never witnessed beforehand. If there was anything you could have concluded, it was that beyond his sober level-headed exterior, he must have a lot of pent up anger. Jungkook in drunken phase three transitioned between a three colour spectrum of moods and you’d barely caught up. 

Exhibit one -

“The ocean is so important!” he cried, literally cried as he began bumbling about blue whales and the sheer plastic in the ocean, morosed how the first piece of plastic ever produced still hadn’t decomposed. 

It was no help that Namjoon enthusiastically joined in - the fucking nerds, until Jungkook started bawling and knocked back the salt shaker on the countertop mistaking it for a shot of tequila. 

You’d panicked and dragged him to the nearest bathroom to wash it out of his eyes. The seconds that followed afterwards, was you rubbing his back while he sobbed and puked the hearty contents of his stomach into the toilet.

Exhibit two - 

“If any dude is giving you a hard time, chances are - you’re hotter than them. And on top of that, they made you cry, making you a better person than them!” he proclaimed. Once you’d helped him clean up, he’d bumped into Ola - a girl you recalled was in his media class, and was crying outside of the door of the bathroom you and Jungkook had been in. 

She’d sniffled her way through a story about a boy she’d been talking to for six months, and Jungkook was as revved up as his ocean speech while he pep-talked her about how heartless the guy was; that he gave good guys a bad rep; and that she simply deserved better. Of course, you’d agreed with him. It sounded all too familiar to something you’d said in the past, though who could blame him for adopting your mannerism of speech when he’d spent so much time with you?

Exhibit three -

“Hey, Chad! Why the fuck do you hate poor people?!”

You were mortified. “Jungkook! Literally, where did you get that conclusion from?!” 

“He plays lacrosse and owns a golf cart!”

You groaned, yanking at his arm away from Chad - captain of the boys’ lacrosse team, and who’d also fortunately passed out on the couch, otherwise Jungkook for sure would have had his face beat in. Though, you’d like to think that Jungkook would win, for sure, but you promised sober Jungkook that you’d take care of drunk Jungkook. 

So that was that. 

By now you’d contracted a stress-induced migraine, by which your own best friend was accountable for. And you thought - by God, did he have to deal with this every time you went to a party together while you’d run rampant? This had been an eye-opener, and you should definitely be considerate next time because drunk people were babies, and not in the cute way either.

And finally: exhibit four.

“Hey.” 

You endured all the pet names, had endured being called the Apple of his Eye, Angel Face, and his Compass Star, because flirty Jungkook had been throwing pet names around all night. You’d seen and heard it yourself. But nothing would have prepared you for what he’d say next. 

You glanced at him, just a second to look away from your phone screen. “Yeah?” 

His eyes drooped, form slouched, and head atop his folded arms on the countertop. It was just after midnight, and the kitchen was a quiet lull, besides you and Jungkook who were sitting together; and then there was Jimin and Taehyung, and Seokjin by the sink in their own private conversation … and whatever it was that Taehyung was doing. Admittedly you hadn’t been paying much heed nor did you endeavour to find out.

Body curling into himself; Jungkook looked so much smaller than when he stood to his full stature. 

“I’ve got it bad,” he mumbled, wistfully, “real bad. So bad - I’m doomed bad. End of the fucking world baaad.”

Your hands rubbed at his nape, tender fingers toying with the longer hairs there. He’d been growing it out, and he looked good. You tucked a tuft of hair behind his ear. “What makes you think that?” 

Again - the glossy puppy eyes that gazed up, contemplating you like you’d fallen from heaven. 

His smile was meek, as shy as the drawling voice that spoke, “I … I really think you’re my soulmate. I don’t like saying it too much but I … like, love love you, but we’re only best friends. Someday you’ll date for real - instead of flings, I’d have to accept it. I don’t think I’ll be ok, but I will be, jus’ will take time to get over you. Have done it a few times before. I’ll be ok.” 

Your hand stilled, fingers still tangled in his locks. 

Rendered motionless, like air had been punched out of you from the stomach, unable to bring yourself to salvage the words. Breathless, all you could bring yourself to do was to weakly call his name. 

He hadn’t heard you, and he yawned, leaning into your touch. His body trembled with his giggles. “One time, you were sooo drunk. You were so drunk, don’t think you remembered - blacked out. You flirted with me that whole evening. After that … after that I became obsessed with you forever.”

It was with a sinking stomach when you’d realised that you couldn’t recall that night at all. 

Gulping, you peered down at the mop of tangled hair on the countertop, wishing for nothing else but to properly see his face, but it was half-hidden where he’d snuggled into his arms. 

“Jungkook?” you whispered, gently moving away the hair that flopped over his eyes. “Jungkook?’

No reply. Just steady, heavy breathing.

No reply, because he’d fallen asleep.

It’s a splitting headache that rouses Jungkook from heavy sleep. One of those slumbers where he wakes up groggy, as if he hasn’t rested at all despite it being hours since. He tries to get up, but to no avail. His limbs are leaden heavy, and he collapses back onto his bed within seconds of mustering the strength to hoist himself up.

There are a series of knocks on the door but what’s the point of knocking when Jimin barges in anyway. He snickers seeing Jungkook: a sad, spectacular heap on the bed with a bitching hangover to boot.

“Oh, how the mighty have fallen.” 

“Shut up,” Jungkook drawls, barely recognising the cadence of his own voice. He throws an arm over his face, brow tightening as he shuts his eyes to recall anything that happened hours prior, but even that’s too much of a Herculean effort that his brain isn’t willing to commit to at nine in the morning. Hangovers are not worth the night before for this - this is a different kind of hell. 

Jimin places a glass and a jug of water on his bedside table. “Good morning to you too, sunshine.” 

“Thanks,” he replies. He at least has enough strength to reach for the glass. When he sits up a hand goes instantly to knock against his temple, as if it would stop whatever invisible vice it is that’s squeezing and hammering at his brain from all directions. He notices Jimin’s narrowing scrutiny on him. 

“You remember anything from yesterday?”

“Honestly, not really. Just some bits here and there.” 

“Blacked out, huh.” If Jimin hesitated it’s only for a split second, he stuffs a hand into his hoodie pocket for his phone. “There’s something I wanna show you. Not sure if you’re gonna like it much.”

“Can’t be that bad,” he says, but Jimin proffers a look, and Jungkook frowns. “... Right?”

Jimin licks his teeth in a way that makes Jungkook’s stomach drop just slightly.

“Famous last words, bud,” is all he replies.

 /

The slide of the back doors from the kitchen is what jerks your head up, followed by the sound of feet pattering on tiles. Suddenly, there’s a rise of anxiousness. Until you drum into your head that, no , this is nothing for you to be anxious about. There are the natural nerves budding that stem from confrontation, and you think this may be it.

Towel around his shoulders and dampened hair swept back, Jungkook doesn’t notice you at first when he appears by the doorway. He walks, gazes ahead like his legs are functioning on autopilot - but when he does notice you, he could have skidded. The way he halts and how his body almost springs backwards into the kitchen as soon as he sees your form huddled on one end of the couch, and how Basil - the frat’s cat, is curled by your lap, peacefully asleep and indulging in the soft stroke of your knuckles on his head. 

His expression mirrors a man who wants so desperately to sink into the floorboards. Or to dash back into the hale storm and fully immerse himself head to toe into the hot tub’s waters and never surface again.

The first few seconds of silence is heavy. As if you’re both still trying to process the presence of the other. It’s an uncomfortable silence you’re not accustomed to when with Jungkook. He’s always leaned more to the quiet side of the spectrum; introverted, introspective. But silences had always been comfortable, even when you two clashed. 

You endeavour for eye contact but he’s suddenly so transfixed on a shadow upon the wood flooring. 

“Hey,” you begin, quietly, like the walls are listening in on you. It’s enough gentle encouragement for him to peer up. He hides his hangover well but the mirth, the glint; the starry eyedness that reflected in his orbs from the night before is absent, and no amount of hot tub therapy could conceal the physical and mental exhaustion. 

“Hey.” He sounds almost breathless, smothers the tremor in his voice with a cough. “You’re … you’re soaked.”

“So are you.” Your tone is apologetic, “Sorry I came on short notice, I messaged you but I don’t think you saw it.”

He winces. “Right - sorry. My phone died. Haven’t checked it since.”

You muster a small smile. “I thought as much.” 

Another breath. Another nervous lilt in his voice. “I’m sorry. Not just the phone thing but everything I said to you last night.” 

You sigh. “Don’t be. It’s just … I’m surprised you remember what you said.”

He takes a breath, bicep flexing when he rubs anxiously at his nape. “I don’t,” he admits. “Jimin told me. It’s in this video he took last night of Taehyung eating cake off the floor, you could hear my voice in the background.” 

“Ah. That explains it.” Your lips pursed. “Did you mean what you said?”

His eyes round and flash to yours. He chews his lip, throws a glance at his feet. “... Yeah,” he whispers. 

“Not just the alcohol talking?”

“No.”

You’re quiet, continuing to stroke Basil who’s still fast asleep beside you.

“Sor—“

“Stop apologising,” you snap. You didn’t mean to, but his shoulders tense, and it makes you wallow in guilt that only he out of everyone has been able to make you feel. You haven’t thought this through and now you’re here you’re saying all the wrong things and asking all the wrong questions. But you remember it’s him, and recollect yourself. “Jungkook - it’s just … it’s just a lot to unpack.” 

You peer up, his nod is slow, but he gets it.

He’s tired, you see it clear as day. See it in the trudge of his walk, the dim in his eyes, and neither of you talk on the way up. Not until you reach his room. 

Despite your protests, he insists you help yourself to his draws for a spare change of dry clothes. It’s with that thought when you realise you still have yet to return several shirts to him with the promise of them all being washed and folded; washed and folded they are, but you never have been great at remembering to give them back. Putting it into perspective - maybe it is a little weird. Weird for two people who fall under the label of best friends. But then again you borrowed clothes from your own roommates all the time to the point you sometimes forgot whose is whose. It isn’t weird. Right? 

While Jungkook goes for a brisk shower, you peel off your soaked clothes, hang them over a spot on his clothes rack. His room is mostly devoid of personal touch, though there are a few photos of his high school football days and some of him and his friends pinned to a board. Otherwise, he’s never had much interest for interior decoration, but he likes his room clean and uncluttered. 

There’s a knock on the door a few minutes later. “Are you …?”

“Yeah,” you say. “I’m done.”

The door cracks open, and Jungkook appears, adorned in another change of clothes. His hair is still damp, fluffed at the patches that have managed to dry and his cheeks are pink from the heat of the shower, but he’s less rugged than earlier. Still tired, though. So tired that you don’t question it when he makes a beeline for his unmade bed and collapses face-first into his pillow. You perch on the edge, pulling his duvet over him. 

He wriggles closer to the wall, like he’s making more room for you to sit. You appreciate the gesture and shuffle closer. Outside, the wind still howls.

“You should dry your hair properly,” you murmur, fingers at the damp ends of his nape. 

“Yeah … prob’ly should,” he sighs, muffled where his mouth is buried in his pillow.

You came here to talk about yesterday night, but maybe it’s a conversation for another time. You out of everyone should know how strenuous it is to have a heart-to-heart while being victim to a hangover that gives you the same capacity as someone half-dead. 

You’re staring blankly at the wall, so occupied with the whistle of the winds, so lost in the strands between your fingertips - that when you peer down you’re met with half-open shining eyes, and a lazy blinking gaze directed upwards at your face.

“Yes?” 

“Nothing,” he murmurs, like clockwork, and buries half his face again into the plush of his pillow. It’s enough time for you to catch the shy tilt of his lips before they hid again. It’s almost ironic, how you’re the one next to him while he nurses a hangover when it’s always been the other way round. Here, he’s so vulnerable. Your mind wanders to the possibility - what if it was the other way around? An alternate universe where it was you who serenaded Jungkook with karaoke and confessed. 

In whatever reality, you imagine him to confront you in the way you did now. Perhaps approached it a little differently, would perhaps be a little gentler, but he would never give you the cold shoulder.

For now, you both pretend there’s been no drunken confession. Best friends, like how it’s always been, and you’ll discuss it all when the time comes.

At some point you’re lowering yourself next to him; your head on the same pillow, and your bodies beneath the same blanket. He’s warm. 

And it’s peaceful, as comfortable as it always has been. 

/ 

“Oh my God, where the hell’s your shirt? I haven’t seen you swim once so far,” you scoff, and Hoseok pulls a sour face.

“You’re talking big for being the one in the string bikini.”

You look at him in disbelief. “Yeah, but I actually used the pool?”

“Scooch over, babe.”

Your eyes roll skyward as he plops beside you on the loveseat. It’s another weekend, another frat, another party, another excuse for Hoseok to walk around without a shirt because there’s a pool. Correction: a further excuse for hoards of frat boys to walk around without a shirt, but at this point you’re desensitised to it.

The music booms, a dull vibration you feel through the ground. 

Kappa Omega is infamous for their extravagant parties (at least, as extravagant as college parties can go). Compared to others it’s vastly over-the-top, with most of the guys getting in through connections just like how their college applications got past admissions, but it is what it is. They’re not all bad people, they hold parties for fundraisers but sometimes it can’t be helped not to feel sour when you see what they blow their money on. The Kappa Omega mansion is so big that you’d spent a good portion of the beginning of the night lost.

“Lucky bastards,” Hoseok mutters. He’s said that several times this evening. He’s only here for the booze and the cheese tray. He pops open another beer, chucks the bottle opener onto the low table in front of him, besides the cheese tray he stole from the kitchen. “Which frat party was it again when you blacked out and dived into the pool fully clothed? I can’t remember anymore.” 

“We don’t talk about that, thanks,” you utter, wrapping your long cardigan tighter around your torso. “Have you by chance seen Jungkook around? I thought he’d be here by now.”

He looks up, mid-way from tipping back his beer. “Yeah, I saw him some time ago.”

“What, where?”

“Sat with some food by himself somewhere.” His arm gestures vaguely. “He looked a little sad. You know, in signature Jungkook fashion, you know how he gets sometimes.” 

Your form slumps. “Right,” you murmur. It’s been over two weeks since the last time you saw him. Not that it’s unprecedented. He has football among other commitments that strung him away for days and sometimes weeks at a time, and you had your own as well.

Be that as it may, somehow it feels like the both of you are drawing the whole thing out. Not purposely, but definitely unnecessarily. Neither of you brought it up in your messages to each other either, and it hit you recently that, well - you miss him. You’ve seen him around campus, but never for too long. Nothing more than fleeting sightings of him and his disheveled hair in a half-pony while he rushes to class after football practice; a hand usually holding onto a snack while the other held onto the strap of his half-open duffel bag, but you only had time to exchange a wave and a look that held promise of your next meeting. The fact remains that you miss your best friend, and it would kill you for your friendship to be awkward because of what happened. You had every intention to talk to him tonight in person, and no dallying or delays this time.

Hoseok’s eyes squint your way. “What’s going on between you guys, anyway. You guys a thing or what?”

You sigh, “That’s the thing, I have no idea yet.” 

“Yet.” His lips purse, contemplating you. “He really likes you, you know. So, like, go easy on him.”

Your eyes narrow. “How long have you known, then?”

“As if it was hard,” he scoffs, sitting back. “Guy wears his heart on his sleeve. You have to be thick as a brick not to notice.”

“Wow. Thanks,” you deadpan.

He stabs his fork into the blue cheese. “You know why him and Yerim broke up?” 

“Oh no,” you morose, frowning, “don’t tell me it was because of me. I talked to her after they broke it off and she said it wasn’t.”

“Not entirely. But I think she was bending the truth a little so that you wouldn’t berate Jungkook about it. She’s a cool girl, really nice and a good sport. Knew you two were close and accepted that like a champ. But -” and he pauses for emphasis. A pause which is seconds too long, and then finally he puts his fork down, clutches one of your hands in both of his, and waits for you until you’re hanging on to his every breath while he chews and swallows the remaining in his mouth. He resumes, brightly, “it’s not my story to tell. So you better go and find him.”

You shove him. Harder this time - enough that he topples over, and he cackles obnoxiously. 

“Prick,” you laugh, but rise to your feet. Your gaze spans the backyard, the pool. You spot a hot tub, but it’s filled with other students who are laughing and raucous. 

“Ok, I’m going,” you announce, glancing at Hoseok who’s still very much captivated by the cheese tray before him. It does look really good. “See you in a bit.”

“Yeah, yeah, bye.”

 /

The problem with knowing so many people, and having the same friends as those people - is that in situations where you try to pull yourself away from yet another drinking game you’re taken by the elbow by someone else. Having all of your mutual friends congregated in one domain that is the Kappa Omega House has made your search for the ever-elusive Jeon Jungkook a grand Pain in the Ass. He’s like gold dust. You’ve texted him but you’ve yet to receive a reply.

“Hey, have you seen Jungkook?”

“I saw him at the front porch a few minutes ago?”

“... Seriously? I’ve literally just been there.”

You even scrambled over a balcony and leaped over a hedge when you tried to get away from Chad’s third invitation to join the game of chicken fight in the pool (a parkour stunt that you like to think would put Peter Parker to shame). You give yourself a quiet moment to catch your breath. 

It’s then you realise you’re in a part of the backyard you swear you haven’t been in before. You can presuppose why. It’s dimly lit, less people, and the boom of the stereo is still loud, but is more of a distant noise in comparison to the other parts of the house you’ve been in. Like what the hell, how big is this place? 

“Sooo, you’ve found him yet or what?”

You hear the voice before you see the face. 

Unbelievable. So you cross paths with shirtless Hoseok for the third time and yet haven’t so much as had a hair’s glimpse of Jungkook. 

“Nope,” you reply, quite miserably, hands stuffing into your cardigan’s large pockets. You feel for your phone. He still hasn’t seen your message. At this point you’re one teetering step away from letting go of the remaining wisps of your dignity and yell his name through a megaphone with a hope he'll come to you instead … you’ve probably done that while drunk before but you’re nowhere near tipsy now, and that’s besides the point. 

Behind you, Hoseok hums, quite serene. When you look back you see he’s lowered his back onto the grass, his eyelids shut.

Eyes scanning this part of the backyard, it’s a different ambience to the atmosphere by the pool. More relaxed. There are students either sat or lying on the grass in small groups, their conversations a low murmur with the occasional twinkling sound of someone’s laughter rising above it. There’s a slabbed stone pathway that leads further up the grass, which then disappears behind a tall row of hedges, and with that you find yourself on your feet again. 

“As much as it pains me to leave, there’s only so much of you I can take in one evening before I go crazy,” you tell Hoseok, who’s unbothered reply is no more than a lazy thumbs up from his spot on the grass.

It gets darker the further away you are from the house, but you’re led by the quiet warm-white glow of the lawn lights that highlight the path. It calms your mind to a lull that puts you at peace, something you desperately sought after your hopeless goose-chase just minutes prior. 

The waters of a hot tub glow blue up ahead. You skid to a stop when you come closer and see someone’s in there; shoulders immersed and their head just above the water’s surface. What’s the phrase? When you stop looking for something, it finds you? That’s probably not how it goes, but it doesn’t matter. After futile searching, hedge jumping and greasy frat boy dodging, you finally found him. Of course he’d be in a place like this.

His eyes are dazed, mesmerised by the ripples in the water that his smallest movements create. He hasn’t yet noticed you coming.

You pad closer. “... Jungkook?” and like a switch, his spine straightens, goes rigid as a ramrod at your voice. He’s blinking, head shaking side to side as if to snap himself out of the trance that clouds his head. 

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” you exasperate.

He blinks. “You … you have?”

You scoff, amused at the way his brows knit. “Yeah,” you sigh, stopping so your forearms can lean on the sides of the tub. “May I join you?”

After a beat of hesitation - “Of course you can.” 

You shrug your long oversized cardigan off of your shoulders, and double check that your phone is still in the pocket before you chuck it in a heap on the bench. You secure your footing on the step, eyes intercepting his own. His Adam's apple bobs when the rest of your body comes into view, and you shiver at the breeze but warmth engulfs you the second you’re in contact with the bubbling water.  

“Feels good?” he asks, and you sigh contentedly, leaning back.

“Yeah.” If you really wanted to, you could fall asleep right here, right now. “What is it with you and hot tubs? Always knew you had a thing for them but never asked specifically why. Or does it just feel good?”

“Mainly that. The guys on my team use the excuse that it breaks up the lactic acid in your muscles after training, but it just feels good when you’re sore.” 

“Huh.” When you crack an eye open, he’s already looking at you. 

His lips purse. “Did you want to talk?” and when you nod he sighs, wearily. “I wanted to, honestly. But I … I guess I never felt ready to hear what you’re going to say.”

You frown. “What do you think I’m going to say?” 

“I don’t know. That you don’t feel that way about me, which I’m fine with. I was never meant to let it slip, but I ended up saying all the things I didn’t want you to hear yet. And while I was drunk, of all things.” 

You consider this, broach your tone carefully. “Were you ever going to tell me?” 

His eyes avert to the water. “... Eventually. It would have been after graduation. No step three beyond telling you, no secret ploy to get you to fall in love with me, I only would have wanted you to know how I felt. I’d leave you alone and we’d finally move on with our lives. And what better timing than after graduation? But that’s not how it turned out, did it?” He laughs, but it’s with rueful discomfort.

“How long?”

He exhales. “A while.”

“I see.” You think hard for a second. “Even when you were with Yerim?”

He gnaws on his bottom lip, but you can tell he’s honest when he replies with, “Yeah. But I never pretended she was you.”

“Of course you didn’t, you’re not that type of person.”

At last, he does smile at that, and seeing the tilt of his mouth settles a warmth in your heart.

Part of you wants to ask what happened between him and Yerim, but you think perhaps it’s for the best you don’t know, at least now. It’s not your business nor his obligation to tell you.

Before you could dwell too much on your oncoming words, you continue barging forward or you’ll chicken out from what you’re going to say next.

“Jungkook,” you begin. “What if I said yes?”

A pause. 

“What do you mean?”

“If you asked me out, and I said yes.”

He’s so bewildered he looks as if he’s just been slapped. Suddenly, something more serious shadows his features. “You know I’d never want you to date me just because. I’m fine with rejection, seriously, I’ll get over it. But I don’t want you to settle for less than what you want. You deserve someone you want, and if I’m not that person, that’s fine. You deserve -”

“Last time I checked, you don’t get a say on what it is that I do and don’t deserve. Who I deserve is for me to decide, so stop cutting yourself so short because you’re more decent than most of the guys I know.”

He shifts, looks away. “So what are you saying?”

“Should we try it?”

“What if it doesn’t work out?”

“Then it doesn’t work out,” you say, simply.

“But then it’ll be awkward.”

“You telling me that you became obsessed with me after I flirted with you for one evening while I was drunk already made it awkward. Not like we have anything else to lose.”

A breath of air expels from his nose in a chuckle. “Oh, ouch.”

“Jungkook,” you sigh. “It’s so easy to be around you. If it doesn’t work out, then it doesn’t work out, but how are we supposed to know how it’s going to turn out if we don’t even give it a chance? It’s going to be awkward either way but we’ll figure it out. Like with all the other crap we’ve gone through. I’ve been with enough guys to know that guys like you come far and few between, I trust you enough to want to do this. You’re one of those few guys I know I can trust, alongside Hoseok. Even though he can be a real bitch sometimes.”

Jungkook doesn’t rebuke you, but he laughs. It’s a sound you’ve never been more relieved to hear. 

“So what do you think? I don’t want to force you into it. If you don’t want this, I’m fine with it. If you do, I’m fine with that too. Everything on my end is fine, so what about yours?”

If him confessing happened a year, or maybe two years earlier, you don’t think you would have confronted it in the way that you’d done now. You understand why Jungkook wanted to bide his time. You’re stubborn, fiery, and don’t think things through in the way that Jungkook does. If this happened two years ago, you can imagine you’d have yelled at him on impulse, asking him why, why he let it happen.

But there’s a very particular fondness you’ve honed for your best friend that has unfurled in the years of your friendship, to the point you couldn’t possibly imagine yourself putting blame on him for his feelings. It seems being friends with him has really mellowed you. While Hoseok is the friend you’re most similar to, your other pea-in-the-pod, Jungkook is the friend who balances you out. Someone so different to you, yet someone who still knows what makes you tick.

He’s a friend who doesn’t judge, but yet is always first to call you out whenever you’re out of line. A friend who waits until you’re inside of your dorm building before driving away. The type of guy who pays for dinner and doesn’t expect you to pay him back. A friend who makes sure you’re back home safely when you’re drunk, puts a glass of water next to you and watches over you to make sure you don’t choke on your vomit in your sleep.

Finally, after careful consideration, he nods. He nods, finally.

“So we’re doing this then.” You crack a smile, and he finds it difficult to suppress his own.

“Yeah,” he whispers. “Yeah, I guess we are.”

With an unchanging temper, as still and as serene as waters below the turbulent surface - Jungkook is your anchor, he always has been. The anchor that tethers your feet to the earth when the elements threaten to topple you over.

In the blue glow, you shuffle closer forward on your knees. 

“Can I kiss you?” you murmur, and he chokes on his saliva, spluttering. You smile sheepishly. “Sorry it’s weird, you don’t have to let me if that’s going too fast. I just … I want to see what it feels like.” 

He hesitates. “Are you sure?”

“Pretty sure.”

He mulls it over, but it doesn’t take much thinking. He stares at you, hard. But then you disrupt the stillness with a disarming smile, and unable to resist, he beckons you over. “Come here.”

It’s odd to straddle his lap at first. In the same way it is when you’re getting on a bike for the first time or any kind of first. He doesn’t make any first move, it’s you who he waits to initiate. 

The path of your fingers trail slowly upwards, until they’re splayed against his chest. They remain there, and you detect the quick pattering of his heart, the rise of his chest. His breaths are deep but they’re controlled, and he feels sturdy beneath you. 

Jungkook is stupid handsome, with the body to match. But that’s not what swells your heart. It’s not what pushes you to move further forward in his lap and finally press your mouth to the seam of his lips before you could think twice.

It’s how tenderly he gazes up at you. With the same sincerity and adoration he’d shown the night he’d confessed drunk. His eyes, an opening to his soul which is a whole other wonder. 

When was the last time someone looked at you like that? 

The kiss is soft. No sparks, no butterflies on your end - not yet, but somehow it still feels right. Like missing pieces that have finally fallen into place. Warmth and love spills from him. It saturates your body to the very tips of your ears, all the way down to your toes, like a slow, spreading glow. It feels good.

When shy pecks don’t become enough anymore, you get needy, touching and grasping for more of him. His palms press against your lower back, massaging the skin there, and eventually your mouth parts pliant for him. 

“Oh,” he croaks, his head leaning forward so his cheek brushes yours. You can’t see his eyes, and you attempt to move but he curtains the planes of his face with his hair. 

“What’s wrong?” you ask, having to strain to catch his whisper. 

“I’m embarrassed.”

You chuckle, warmth spreading from the spot on your ear that his lips hover over. “How come?”

“Like, there are probably bricks softer than my dick right now. And … I really, really don’t wanna jizz my pants in a Kappa Omega hot tub. I would have hit my lowest point in life if I do.” 

“Oh my God.” You’re almost crying, shoulders shaking with how hard you’re laughing. 

“Please, I’m so serious right now. I’d never be able to redeem myself.”

“Would jizzing in an obscenely expensive hot tub be so bad?”

“Yes,” he emphasises. “Really bad, actually. Have you heard of that guy who ejaculated in a swimming pool and accidentally got twenty girls pregnant?”

“That sounds like fake news. There’s no way. Sperm aren’t homing torpedoes, Jungkook. They’d be unviable as soon as they’d be in the water. But if you want me to move back, I’ll move back.”

His face is taut, like he’s trying so hard. “Yes, please.” His eyes go stern, but there’s a nervous jitter you feel with the skin beneath your fingertips. “And just because I think it’s worth mentioning, I don’t think we should have sex straight away.” 

“Oh. Right. I see,” you deadpan.

It’s his turn to cackle at the dead-set, disappointed look on your face. “What’s with that?”

Your eyes roll. “You know I’m kidding.” You brush the hair out from his eyes. “Jungkook, will you wait for me?”

His expression softens, and he hoists you until you’re pressed impossibly closer.

“Of course I will. However long it needs to be.”

a/n: when jk says you flirted with me the whole night and i became obsessed w you forever, yea that was from b99

originally posted on ao3! thx for reading!!! <33 

[manggojooz]

Bona Fide (Prologue)

main pairing: Namjoon x Kyungsoo x reader

word count: approx. 2,500

genre: lawyer!au, drama, slice of life, romance 

summary: They say good and bad as though it is black and white, but through whose eyes do we see whether it is black or white? 

warnings: none

comments: I’m back guys... i’ve missed y’all T.T just a little prologue to force start my lawyer au fic..

“You are called to the what?”, “A bar?”, “What’s a bar?”

The two most common assumptions of why the legal qualification is termed ‘the bar’ are that 1. all lawyers require alcohol to function, or 2. it is a metaphorical reference that the people who practice the law has met an undefined (but presumably higher) standard of certain qualities.  

So how high is this ‘bar’? Apparently not that high.  

---

You rather disliked the fact that it is a common assumption that whoever wanted to study the law should have an altruistic mission.  

The age-old question at law school interviews almost never deviates from the conundrum of “why do you want to study the law?”. And here, you faced the first paradox of your legal life – if you wanted to be a member of the bar, you should always act honestly, but if you always acted honestly, you will never make it into the bar.  

You tried to recall what generic idealistic answer you had given at your own law school interview. Meanwhile, the new batch of interviewees waited nervously outside the seminar rooms for their turn to be called in. “Look at them... bright-eyed and bushy-tailed... were we once like this too?”, Doyoung cringes as he turns to look at Lucas and you, and he pretended to be taken aback, “whatever happened to you guys man, you look like zombies now?”  

“As if you look any more alive. It's almost finals time and... I feel like I aged ten years in the span of three weeks”, Lucas gripes, dragging his feet along the squeaky floor.  

---

The years in law school taught you a lot. One of the first was that the law does not exist for an altruistic purpose.  

“The law is fair”, the professor said stoically, then abruptly breaks out into a chuckle, “if someone told you that... check to see if they have eyes that are bright and a tail that is still bushy.”  

To add on to that, law school was ‘university’ after all, and ‘university’ teaches you about life. So other than the occasionally disillusioning lessons about what the law actually serves, the characters whom you encountered in law school were more even more educational.  

Sure, maybe there were a handful of law students who truly intended to pursue justice. But most of them were just mortal. There were those who hail from a family of lawyers, there were those who only came because their grades were good enough, there were those who liked beer, there were those who slept around, there were those who wanted the mirage of prestige and pride, and there were those who only wanted a stable job.  

Most, if not all of these people will eventually make it into the “bar” one day.  

---

You carried a bag of stuff into the monochrome office. The cubicle walls and the chairs were a nasty shade of old navy blue. It was unusual not to have Doyoung and Lucas to cling on to but there was a slight flutter in your stomach. Graduation was a while ago, and now you were embarking on the arduous journey known as legal training, pupilage, or whatever they preferred to call it – basically you had to fulfil a slavery term before you could reach that seemingly prestigious end goal known as “the bar”.  

The office manager was a no-nonsense lady who quickly briefed you and all the other trainees about the office policies before showing each of you to your dingy little seats.  

Half the morning was spent with you setting up your work station, the cubicles around you were occupied by a handful of trainees just like you and your neighbour was a charming and cheery girl named Chaeyoung. After a round of awkward introductions, you settled back into your seat only to have the ringing of your phone make you almost jump back up.  

Did someone call the wrong number? Was the call actually for you? You picked up the receiver and uttered in a hushed voice, “Hello?”

“Is this Y/N?”, the caller spoke rather quickly.  

“Yes, I am.”  

“Grab your notepad, pen, whatever you need and come over to my room now”, a low husky voice commanded.  

“Ok, sure... I-”, your hands somehow started to tremble a little and you started looking around for your stationery but the man on the other side slams down his phone.  

Wait, wait... who is he? How would you know who to look for? “Shit”, you mumbled softly as you put down your phone and Chaeyoung peeps out from her cubicle next to you. “You okay?”, she asked.

“Yeah, I better try to figure this out...”, you replied with a sigh and an awkward smile.  

You quickly grabbed your things and walked towards the larger office area, where all the qualified lawyers were housed. Loitering around the printers tentatively, you were just dragging out each second trying to ponder what is your best way out of this. Unfortunately for you, because you were such a nervous wreck, you didn’t even catch the extension number which would have showed up on your phone.  

“Are you alright?”, a voice startles you as you leaned against one of the printers, fingers poking your temple harshly, lamenting your stupidity.  

His voice was deep and a little husky too, but it wasn’t that voice. You turn around to face him and he gives you a customary smile, a tiny dimple forming on his cheek. It was the first familiar face you saw that day. Kim Namjoon, a fairly well-known senior from your law school because he was always one of the top students and had been Law Club President for a year. Everyone was shocked when he rejected the offers from all the bigger law firms and joined this not so famous one instead.  

“If you are alright, could you please let me take my print out?”, he said with a curious expression and pointed at the printer you were hoarding with your body.  

“Oh I’m so sorry!”, you immediately jumped aside.  

“Are you one of the new trainees?”, he asked in a friendly demeanour.  

“Yeah, I am...”  

“You look lost, are you looking for something?”

“Uhh, actually I’m looking for someone”, you answered sheepishly.  

“Who?”, he looked up at you.  

“Somebody called me just now and told me to go look for him but he didn’t give me his name and I didn’t catch his extension number”, you slurred your words, trying to hide your embarrassment.  

“There’s a call-log function on the phone, you can use that to see who called you earlier”, he said matter-of-factly as he flipped through the pages of paper he just took from the machine, looking back down at the papers now.  

“OH! Is there? Thank you so much”, you gasped at your own dumbness, and you were prepared to run back to your seat to try just that when he stops you.  

“I’m Namjoon by the way. What’s your name?”, he introduced himself quickly.  

“Yeah I kind of know you... I mean I’m two batches below you, so we haven’t spoken before... I’m Y/N. Thanks so much for your help, I better go-”, you were processing your words as systematically as you could.  

“Oh nice... so you are from my school too? And you said you are Y/N?”  

You nodded. “If you are Y/N, then don’t bother running back to your phone, I think I know who called you, follow me”, he smiled a little bigger at you this time, his dimples becoming more visible. Guess this is why you always heard that he was popular back in school – nice and cute, what’s not to like?  

---

Namjoon kicked the door open, the other occupant looked up at him in annoyance.  

“You are going to break that door someday”, he tosses the remark at Namjoon.  

“Hopefully before they break my sanity... I can’t believe this, this guy just sent me a document that isn’t even marked up. How can they not even know to mark up the changes?”, Namjoon huffed while throwing the document onto a desk.  

The room was occupied by two tables, Namjoon saunters in and sits down at the one further from the door. He sees you still standing at the door and flicks his head to gesture towards the other guy in the room.  

“He’s the person you are looking for”, Namjoon said to you before turning to his roommate, “Kyungsoo-ya, next time could you at least say who you are when you call someone? How do you expect a newbie to know that it is you?”

“Why didn’t you ask if you didn’t know?”, the guy named Kyungsoo stared at you with his intensely huge eyes.  

“I... umm...”, what were you supposed to answer? Because you didn’t give me a chance to? Because I was too nervous?

He just continues to stare you down until Namjoon cuts in again, “Stop terrorising the trainee, our team is only getting one this year, don’t drive her away please. Plus, she’s my junior from school”, Namjoon said with a lop-sided smile.  

“Kim Namjoon, rule number one, never reveal your weakness first, how many times do I have to...”, Kyungsoo sighs and closes his eyes in frustration.  

When he opened his eyes again, he just looks back at his computer screen, “come in, leave the door open, we don’t want a ‘me too’ situation to arise here”.  

---  

Soon you found out that as a trainee, you stood in the most awkward position.  

There were the qualified lawyers, like the partners, the senior associates, the associates –  these people would treat you like their slave and not a comrade who was fighting alongside with them. It was understandable, after all being called to the bar as a practising lawyer seems to make them think that they were above everyone else.  

On the other hand, you have all the secretaries, the paralegals, the supporting staff – there was always an undercurrent of hostility between them and the lawyers, which transposes onto all the trainees. Some of them obviously had an inferiority complex while other more capable ones felt it was unfair that their status were always beneath the qualified lawyers when in reality, they probably played a more important role than those “lawyers”.  

Thankfully for you though, at least one of the paralegals on your team was amiable. Eunji graduated from a not-so-great law school and didn’t get through the bar exams, which is why she is slogging away at her paralegal job, trying to make a living while studying to retake the exams.  

---

“Namjoon, you must bully your intern a lot. She would rather hang out with your paralegal than with you and Kyungsoo”, Steven, a senior associate from the corporate team joked as you entered the staff lounge after lunch with Eunji.  

“Looking at them reminds me of when I first started practising, always looking so bright-eyed and bushy-tailed everywhere I went. Are you afraid of us? Do we scare you?”, Steven taunts while talking to you as though he was cooing at a baby.  

Namjoon only quietly sips on his coffee, momentarily contemplating whether to correct Steven on his use of the term “intern” since you were actually a “trainee”. He decided against it ultimately, lest he be called pedantic again.  

Eunji squeezed her lips together preparing her words to retort Steven but you beat her to it. “We are all colleagues in the same office, why is there a need to differentiate?”, you replied in an amicable manner.  

Namjoon raises an eyebrow approvingly, not of the point you made, but of your guts to say something back to the senior associate.  

“Lesson one for our new intern, in this industry, qualification is king. One day when you are qualified too, you will see the difference”, Steven’s tone was sarcastic to say the least.  

Namjoon subtly rolls his eyes and was deciding whether he should extricate you from this when someone else enters the lounge.  

She reminded you of the stereotypical lawyer portrayed in all legal dramas. There will be at least one character like her. Power aura, power heels, power red lips and just powerful all around. Namjoon looked up to see her entering and he seems to be affected by something. She too, looked at Namjoon fleetingly.  

Whatever Namjoon was feeling it obviously made him uncomfortable because he abruptly calls out to you, “Y/N, we have a new matter coming in later, Kyungsoo and I need your help with some research. The meeting starts in two hours, let’s go... there's not much time”, his words were fast and pointed, and he quickly stood up to leave.  

---  

You sat across from Eunji and Chaeyoung in the pub on the first Friday since you joined the firm. The three of you were already slightly drowsy. “What’s so great about getting called to the bar? Does that make them as powerful as the President? As great as the Gods? I don’t care about being called to that stupid bar... I would rather have a handsome guy call me to a bar”, Eunji slurs and giggles.  

That's right, what is so special about this ‘bar’ which you are striving towards, you asked yourself?  

You suddenly recalled what happened that afternoon. You were standing at attention in the associates’ room. Namjoon was looking worried while Kyungsoo was lashing out and demanding an answer from you. The words Kyungsoo spat in your face is still freshly etched in your mind, “if you are going to act like this, don’t bother becoming a lawyer!”

Tears start to form in your eyes again but you held it back. “It’s not great at all! And the standards aren’t even that high!”, you exclaimed loudly to cover up your emotions. Your volume was loud enough to startle the table next to you and Chaeyoung sheepishly apologises on your behalf.  

“As my best friend, Google, will tell you... the ‘bar’ actually used to refer to a physical barring thingy which separated the common people from those who were part of the court of law...”, you blabbered on in a tone mimicking your professors, but dropping to a whisper now as if this was a secret.  

It is a secret – the bar does not denote a certain caliber, standard or quality. The bar is but a demarcation of territory – that this is ‘us’, and they are ‘them’.  

“How can a law, that differentiates between people like that ever be fair? How can it?”, you whined. Chaeyoung uses her hand to cover your mouth, almost suffocating you in the process of trying to stop you from causing more disturbance. Eunji nodded furiously at you as she pours herself another glass of the alcohol, “It never is”, she whispers.  

[the-original-bookworm]

Merlin Rec list part 1

dreams for wings and wanderers

Dragons are feared and mistrusted throughout Albion, and there are very few of them left in Camelot, for Uther’s long campaign against magic also included hunting down all the dragons in the wild. Now, Camelot is recovering from the invasion of Cenred and Morgause's army. Prince Arthur is the one in charge, and Merlin finds out that his secret regular visits to the covert haven't been very secret at all. There's a great deal of manly bonding with the Knights, inquisitive dragons being inquisitive, and a record-breaking number of near-death experiences for Merlin. And this is before he gets his very own dragon. (A Merlin/Temeraire fusion.)

-little long, but extremely interesting concept. Loved the bond between Merlin and the dragons.

merlinfic: job orientation

In the not so distant future, Merlin builds a tower. That's not suspicious at all.

-short, post! Magic reveal, there is a prequel but I like this one better, love Merlin’s obliviousness. Both Arthur and Merlin felt very on point with characters, they acted exactly like themselves if that makes sense.

Touch Me (Not)

In which Merlin is reluctantly pure, Arthur is unfairly tempting, and the Great Dragon sits back with popcorn to watch.

-smut does happen. Basically Merlin thinks he can’t have sex cause he has to be “pure” for destiny to work. This doesn’t really have much of anything to do with any timeline in the series, it feels like you could stick it in between the scenes of the show and it just WORKS. Kinda short, one-shot type of thing

In Love with my Radio

Merlin listens to the radio, Arthur stalks Merlin, Morgana lives to create chaos in Arthur's life, and then everyone goes to McDonalds! Also love happens.

From the kmm prompt: Arthur has an anonymous blog/lj/twitter where he posts about his life, and Merlin follows it RELIGIOUSLY. Arthur starts posting about how he's stalking this amazingly hot guy...

-ok. This is just. HILARIOUS. And Merlin is so oblivious. Decent sized fic, there are some add on’s I would call them? Like one shots of the story continued. It’s an AU. And I just love it.

Pining for the Moon

First, there is the rage, like nothing Arthur has ever known. It’s hot, hotter than anything, hotter than the kitchen ovens and the blacksmith’s forge and dragon’s breath. It fills him to the brim and carries on, washing over him in waves that scald, and, as Arthur looks around him at the carnage, the man at its centre, he has no idea how he is ever meant to let go of it.

“I can explain,” Merlin says, his eyes still blazing as he kneels there, charred by the fires he lit, blood on his hands. So much blood. “Arthur, sire, please, I can explain.”

First, there is the rage, and then there is a knife at Merlin’s throat.

-this is. Wow. I gotta say, this is a really heavy fic. I usually go for more fluff, good plot line but happy endings type thing. This was completely not that, tho there is a happy ending. Arthur actually kills Merlin for being a sorcerer only regrets it so much and Merlin was actually - well no spoilers but there is a happy ending. Read it, but be warned it’s heavy.

Damsel in a Phone Booth

it’s the middle of the night and i’m walking home alone in the dark and there’s this guy following me and he’s starting to gain on me and i found this phone booth with a lock on the door and i tried to call my best friend but my hands were shaking so badly i accidentally dialed the wrong number and i don’t even know you but help me” au (merthur)

-so, short and sweet, a good story, good fluff after the “pining for the moon” fic.

Sort of a Tourniquet

Arthur gives Merlin a plastic ring as a joke. But what nobody knows is how much Merlin really likes wearing it. Modern AU with lots of pining.

-sweet, pure fluff. The pining almost hurt me. It’s an AU, and I wanted to kill Merlin a few times, but good story.

Evil Overlord, Inc. Official Website

Merlin is a recent graduate with a double doctorate in metaphysics and physics. Arthur is a low-level paper pusher with a desk in the sub-basement of MI5. They live in a world with ridiculous laws and restrictions against anyone who might be supernatural in any way, shape, or design.

Merlin has huge debts looming over this head, a few quid left in his bank account, and no job prospects. Arthur is pushing thirty, in a dead-end job with no chances of promotion to fieldwork agent, and is thoroughly bored with his life.

One ill-advised Craigslist advert, five pushy mates, one nosy all-knowing sister, and a hacked email account later, Merlin and Arthur take the world by storm.

(Or, more precisely, they take over the world.)

-love love l0ve love. Even in an AU, Arthur can’t stand not running everything. Must read.

The History of Two Conversations (On Paper)

This is a very useful spell, Merlin wrote. He formed the letters carefully, small so he could write more later, if he needed to, and did not at all wonder if he was going to get in trouble or be cursed or something for writing in the margins of an ancient spell book.

He told the book (in case it had an opinion on the matter), "I am just imparting my knowledge to future generations. I'm sure they will find my comments helpful."

The book made no reply, so Merlin decided it was fine and leaned over the tome again adding, You can clean almost anything with it, even though in this book it refers to badgers alone. Don't believe that for a second. Just yesterday I cleaned out the extraordinarily vile bottom of Arthur's miscellaneous chest using this spell and it worked a treat. He thought for a moment before finishing, One downside: Leaves an odd sulphurous odour after use. Better not to use on clothing and/or self.

-so completely recommend, Arthur finds Merlin’s magic book with merlin’s handwriting in it. Wish we could have seen Arthur’s thoughts but that’s my only complaint

Radioman

The reason SAS Captain Arthur Pendragon can't keep a communications specialist in Team Excalibur because none of them are good enough. And then Lieutenant Merlin Emrys gets assigned to his squad, and Arthur does everything he can to prove that Merlin isn't good enough, either. Except he is.

-ok so this is a series, EXTREMELY long. I gotta admit I haven’t finished it yet but everything I read has been downright amazing.

The Crown of the Summer Court

The king sent me to get you," Merlin said, with a tone that implied strongly that he wasn't rolling his eyes where Arthur could see, but just wait until his back was turned. "He said you're to get changed into formal clothes and meet him in the Great Hall, there's a delegation coming from the Summer Court."

-right, so I am not only recommending this fic, I recommend any and all Merlin fics written by the author. She is downright AMAZING. Like, one of the best fics I’ve read amazing. Maybe THE best.

Three Tasks

Arthur is the Royal Arbiter for Suitable Suitors' Disputes. He (and his trusty companion, the golden-dragon-tasselled hat) alone can determine who is fit to woo royal servants and other assorted courtiers in Uther's court.

(In light of the sentence above, the following may not appear to be a truthful statement, but: not as cracky as that makes it sound. Really.)

This time: Arthur arbitrates a dispute (with heretofore unforeseen wisdom); Merlin observes.

-weird concept, but very good. I could really imagine being in Arthur’s head, it sounded just like him. And it kinda humanizes Uther, which is really hard to do.

The Pendragon Guide to How Not to Date

Modern day student AU. Still set in Britain. Morgana sends Arthur on some blind dates that don’t go quite according to plan

-warning. Smut. Liked it, was more fluff then plot, but seriously adorable

The student prince

A Modern day Merlin AU set at the University of St Andrews, featuring teetotal kickboxers, secret wizards, magnificent bodyguards of various genders, irate fairies, imprisoned dragons, crumbling gothic architecture, arrogant princes, adorable engineering students, stolen gold, magical doorways, attempted assassination, drunken students, shaving foam fights, embarrassing mornings after, The Hammer Dance, duty, responsibility, friendship and true love...

This story was inspired by the thought of Prince William of Wales (and indeed the current Max von Hapsburg) studying at the University of St Andrews; it is also, as the title suggests, at least a little inspired by the operetta 'The Student Prince'.

-so I don’t really go for modern day royalty much, but this was really good. There is a plot, though it revolves mostly around the merthur romance. Reads like a romance novel.

Two Weeks Notice

Arthur is a prattish Executive VP of the Pendragon Corporation with a disturbingly non-ironic love of Demotivational posters. Merlin is a tree-hugging barista with a "magic" tongue. Morgana's a peeping Tom and her breasts have superpowers. Gwen and Lancelot get married. Owain is the company bicycle. Arthur attempts to steal Merlin's affections from Will through epic DDR combat. Merlin gets drunk a lot. There is a pillow fight, and a helicopter ride, and rooftop confessions, and Arthur decides Merlin really is his destiny, whether he likes it or not.

-it’s like if you took the Merlin story and set it in modern times. Like, almost exactly. There are plot differences of course but it just feels like Merlin. well, if it was ‘stop killing the planet’ instead of ‘stop killing sorcerers’ and Arthur was prince of a company instead of a kingdom.

Harmonia Mundiais

Music has always been the centre of Merlin’s reality, and the idea of silence is unimaginable. But when Camelot is deafening, Arthur is distracting and the dragon is utterly unhelpful, will his gift turn out to be a blessing or a curse?

-the ultimate concept , takes the music instead of magic idea and makes it music is magic, like literally. Amazing. It does do this thing where Merlin gives off this kind of innocent thought process? It’s not a bad thing, it just gives this idea that Merlin prioritizes this music in his head and on a subconscious level he can’t understand how others can’t hear it, though he knows they just don’t.

Stars Above, Stones Below

After the disastrous end of his betrothal to Gwen and the regret of his offer to Princess Mithian, Arthur swears off finding a wife until he's ready to wed. When Merlin offers himself to Arthur as bedmate, Arthur suggests they hand-fast in secret for a single year of mutual pleasure without obligation. As their year together unfolds, and secrets and betrayals unravel around them, Arthur and Merlin learn there is no such thing as uncomplicated pleasure. Everything they thought they knew can change in the span of a single year.

-smuuuuuut happens. Magic reveal is good, lobe how it handled the Gwen banishment thing

send me any awesome merthur fics not on the list!

[seigyokus]

3.3 - Do You Really Mean That?

Idolish Seven - Part 3, Chapter 3.3 For more Part 3 translations, click here!

Translation below the cut!

Yaotome Sousuke: Without further ado, I'll be leaving him in your care. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ......I wonder what kind of person he is? Will I be able to hold a conversation with him......? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I sing with all I've got, and I dance with all I've got. I'm not cutting any corners there. I'm proud of the fact that I give everything my best shot. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: But I guess that's not enough, huh? Character....... Idol....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Just what are those things? Midou Torao: Raise your head. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Huh? Woah-- Midou Torao: Handsome, just like on TV. Come on, talk. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: I-I'm Tsunashi Ryuunosuke..... Midou Torao: Haha. That's the same voice as what's on CDs. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ...Are you the acquaintance the President wanted to introduce to me......? Midou Torao: Yeah. I'm Midou Torao. Midou Torao: Let's have fun tonight, superstar. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ......He looks younger than me, but he's cool like Gaku and sexy like Yuki-san...! Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Why is someone like me in the entertainment industry, and not him......!?

Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Rokuya Nagi: I'm home. Oh? You're the only one here, Mitsuki? Is everybody else asleep? Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Rokuya Nagi: Mitsuki? Izumi Mitsuki: Ah-- sorry. I kinda zoned out just now. Rokuya Nagi: Are you okay? Izumi Mitsuki: Hey, do you mind if I ask you.... Izumi Mitsuki: Actually, never mind. Talking in secret like this is just.... It's like we're talking behind his back. Rokuya Nagi: Is it about Yamato? Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Rokuya Nagi: ......I agree with you-- I don't want to keep talking to you in this manner. I'm going to go to Yamato's room. Izumi Mitsuki: Hold on-- Wait! Rokuya Nagi: ......Let go. Izumi Mitsuki: Even if you go, what are you gonna do about it? This isn't a conversation you can just force out of him after grabbing him by the collar! Rokuya Nagi: Then how long do you intend on staying silent? Izumi Mitsuki: Until Yamato-san decides to talk to us.... Rokuya Nagi: Even though neither you nor Yamato are happy about staying silent? Is there even a point in keeping the situation like this? Rokuya Nagi: You didn't teach me to turn a blind eye to my friends' unhappiness. Isn't that right? Izumi Mitsuki: What I'm trying to say is that we gotta think about his feelings too! If it were really that easy to talk about, then he would've told us by now. Izumi Mitsuki: That's why.... Rokuya Nagi: I know somebody who left a letter behind, filled with words about things that were too difficult to vocalize. He entrusted it to me and left. Rokuya Nagi: I don't want Yamato to be the second person to do so. Izumi Mitsuki: Nagi....... Rokuya Nagi: ......I like Yamato. Even if he scolds me, even if he teases me, I love that he's always kindly thinking about everyone. Rokuya Nagi: Even though it's been nothing but fun, and even though everything is gentle here.... Yamato has looked very frightening. Rokuya Nagi: We should be connected like a family, but his secret is undoing those ties between us....... Rokuya Nagi: I want to save him. He saved us, after all. Don't you want to save him too, Mitsuki? Izumi Mitsuki: ....... I do, but.... Rokuya Nagi: Then let's go rescue him. You're a trusty ranger, Mitsuki-- and I'm sure Yamato is waiting. Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: You're right.... Sometimes, you just need somebody to push you forward.... Izumi Mitsuki: Do you mind waiting for a little bit longer? I'll try talking to Yamato tonight. ......Is that okay? Rokuya Nagi: OK. I'll leave it in your hands.

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ......Ahaha! He proposed by building a hotel for their wedding ceremony!? That's crazy! Midou Torao: Right? You hear about rich people doing this kind of stuff all the damn time. What about you? Any stories to share? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Me? The rich people I know, huh....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ......Well, there was this one boy who burst into our studio during a live, public broadcast and used that to reconcile with someone.... Midou Torao: What? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Ah, no. Never mind. Midou Torao: Do you mind if I ask you something? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: What is it? Midou Torao: Why are you pretending to be a socialite? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ....... Midou Torao: You can fool amateurs, but you can't fool us. We can tell if somebody was brought up differently just from how they act. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: Ah....... Midou Torao: Tell me all your secrets, Tsunashi Ryuunosuke. That's why I'm here tonight. Midou Torao: I'm not letting you go home until you do. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: .......

*click* Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: Ah....... Nikaidou Yamato: You're still up, Mitsu? You've been staying up pretty late recently. Izumi Mitsuki: You too. .....What were you doing? Nikaidou Yamato: I was reading a book.... I came out to grab coffee, that's all. Izumi Mitsuki: You won't be able to sleep though? Nikaidou Yamato: Haha.... That's okay. Izumi Mitsuki: ....... Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: Say....... Nikaidou Yamato: Hm? Izumi Mitsuki: I'll get right to the point-- what's Chiba Salon? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Izumi Mitsuki: You said that you entered the entertainment industry so you could expose Chiba Salon. What do you mean? Izumi Mitsuki: Yamato-san, why do you know so many people in the industry? How do you know Yuki-san? Did you know him from before? Izumi Mitsuki: To be honest, I didn't mean to ask you all of this. It's just.... You look really tired and frazzled lately. Nikaidou Yamato: ......Haha. Nikaidou Yamato: Come on. You too? I can't believe both you and Nagi are such goddamn voyeurs. Finally showing your true colors, eh? (1) Izumi Mitsuki: 'Voyeur'...? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Ah, no-- Izumi Mitsuki: You.... You know, Nagi is really, really worried about you, right? Did you really think that all of that was nothing more than voyeurism or plain old curiosity......? Nikaidou Yamato: ....... Nikaidou Yamato: Well, he is being excessively curious about stuff. You too. Izumi Mitsuki: ......Do you really mean that?

Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: My secrets....... Midou Torao: Come on, no need to be so tense. I'm not gonna sell it to the press or anything-- I'm just a little curious. Midou Torao: You seemed really kind and sincere on TV, even though that's all just pretense. If anything, that's what I wanna know more about. (2) Midou Torao: Don't you feel any guilt towards your fans? Or is the sincerity I'm feeling from you right now a lie? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ......Why do you want to know about something like that? Midou Torao: Because I wanna be more like you. Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ....... Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: No way, you're lying....... Midou Torao: As if I could lie about something like that. I wouldn't have gone out of my way to meet you if I wasn't dead serious. Midou Torao: I love women. I'm good at bargaining too. You know that night you sang about with MEZZO"? That's what every night is like for me. Midou Torao: But despite all of that, I keep getting rejected by women lately. All of them are like, 'Why can't you be kind like Tsunashi Ryuunosuke?' Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ....... Midou Torao: Tch....... 'You've never met this guy before!' That's what I end up thinking, but that's just me being a sore loser.... Midou Torao: I know you're a liar. All of that love you get from women is a lie too. Midou Torao: The only thing I don't get is what you're feeling inside. Are you laughing because you've fooled the whole world? Or are you tormented by guilt? Midou Torao: And if the latter is true, then how can you smile so calmly and purely? Tsunashi Ryuunosuke: ....... Midou Torao: Say.... Isn't it painful to stay quiet about what you're really like?

Izumi Mitsuki: ......Do you really mean that? Did you really mean all that stuff about how we're only prying because we're curious? Nikaidou Yamato: Hey now, I'm not criticizing you or anything. That's just how people are, right?. Nikaidou Yamato: Well, if you really want something thrilling, then go read gossip articles online. Goodnight.... Izumi Mitsuki: --Hold up, you asshole! 

To be continued....

TL Notes/comments:

thank u baeta extraordinare @kuriiii 4 proofing/qcing!  

I do apologize for the lull in progress this last past week buT IM ALSO FINALLY DONE WITH MIDTERMS AT LONG LAST!!!! i’m gonna try to see how much I can bust out before ~next thurs when i gotta start studying for finals :’)))

CONGRATS RE:V ON THEIR NO DOUBT MV, IT WAS BEAUTIFUL I LOVE EVERYTHING

anyways, without further ado!

(1) 出歯�� actually means peeping tom but thtaT SOUNDS KINDA.................. dumb so i, yeah. the word was originally the nickname for this one meiji-era dude named ikeda kametarou, since 'deba' means overbite and he had one, but anyways he killed some girl coming back from the womens' bath... and had also been peeking into the bath................. eugh 

(2) this line sounds awful literally: "As someone who's a crow slathered in paint, the you on TV looked very honest/sincere and nice." I wanted to keep the 'crow' part since its p interesting imagery but there was no good way 2 incorporate it without it sounding dumB or weird so uh heRE

As usual, if you see any mistakes/mistranslations/etc, please message me!

Thank you for reading!!

[taylorjean-travel-blog]

FROM WHERE IT ALL STARTED:

So, I don’t really know where to start to be honest. I’ve never really been good at writing, but maybe it will feel easier writing about my story and past experiences. Not sure why I thought about starting this blog- But I thought it would be a good way for people to read what I’ve been up to for the past few years with my travels/working as a yachtie (which will be in another post later on). I get a lot of questions and comments about how good my life looks and why/how I travel so much. I just want people to know that you all see only the good things that I post, lets be honest that’s what social media is, right? The best highlight reel of everyone’s lives. I never really post my struggles or the realness of working/living on a Super yacht.

My passion for traveling first started when I was about 19. Living on the Gold Coast in a job I wasn’t completely enjoying at the time. Living with my Long-term boyfriend Jed. One of my best friends Lana was travelling at the time. I never really had the desire to travel at all really- until I saw her photos and what she was getting up to- it looked incredible and so much fun. I started to Google places and checking out maps. Talking about it with Jed started getting me really excited. So we planned something big and definitely a worthwhile trip I’ll never forget. 10 weeks total in Europe, 6 weeks exploring in a van and the other 4 getting around via trains/buses and flying.

I think at the time the most daunting thing about deciding to travel for a long period of time was resigning from the security of my job and leaving my comfort zone. We moved everything back home to our family homes and that was it, we were ready to go. Not thinking about what would happen when we got back with jobs etc. We had saved and had been planning the trip for a few months. Half was booked which is a great way to do it. Luckily Jed had traveled to Europe more times than he can probably count, thanks to his map knowledge- we planned a good little route to see some places off the beaten track. I would definitely suggest traveling in a hire van or buying one. It’s a great way to discover little towns that would be harder to get too or you didn’t even know of. Back then living in a van was for sure something I found hard. This is so gross to mention to you guys BUT I didn’t shower for about 6 days at a time. Sometimes the only way we showered, brushed our teeth and used a proper toilet was at either the closest petrol station on the highway that actually provide showers for a small cost of 50cents each. The local beach that most of the time had the coldest water (it was the off season at this time)- Whip out the body wash and just get it done. Other times I would get frustrated and request for Jed to find a campsite close by to properly shower with hot water. I remember saying “If you don’t find a campsite and get us there by tonight, I’m going to kill you!” more than once. Not to mention some of the places we pulled up to sleep. I felt so scared and unsafe in countries I didn’t speak their language whilst sleeping in the dead end of a suburbia street or sleeping just off the highway with deer’s and creepy trees like something of a horror movie. Cold misty nights off a highway in Croatia- that’s the one I remember the most, I would wake Jed up when I had to pee because I didn’t want to go outside alone in the middle of the night. I also remember the first couple of nights in the van so well 3 degrees with one thin blanket for both of us that the hire company had for us?! The very next day I bought a thick sleeping bag and it was the best 50 Euros I did spend.

I had every piece of clothing I bought with me plus thermals and I was still shivering and huddling into Jed. It was the most freezing I’ve ever felt in my life. I think I slept all of 1 hour that night. Randoms kept walking by and looking in the van wondering what the hell a van from Germany was doing pulled up in their street for the night.

I’m going to post below the spots we stopped and some photos and a little paragraph from each place. The towns written in BOLD are some of my favs.

·      Frankfurt, Germany

This was our first stop. I remember it being so so cold. We caught the train from Frankfurt city to where we picked up our van. Then the adventure really began.

·      Paris, France

Funny story about Paris. I remember driving down the main road with the Eiffel tower in sight; I’m actually surprised we didn’t get lost. We decided to wing it for a park and surprisingly enough we scored one just a street away. Lots of the locals kept staring at us and a few of them suggest for us to not leave the van there too long as the area is known for break ins and pit pocketer’s (especially it being a tourist travel van from Germany).  We were in Paris for all of 4 hours, which I find hilarious. We walked for hours around the main attractions. Ate some croissants and I bet Jed ate a cake or two. I did not fall in love with Paris like others do, each to their own though.

·      Etretat, France!

So, this place is amazing but was so, so cold. Definitely need a car to get to this little gem. Etretat isn’t only just a cute small French fishing village, but has the most beautiful scenery and cliffs right on the seas side.

·      Mont St Michele, France

This place was extremely cool. Massive castle in the middle of at the time an empty sea bed (it usually is surrounded with water when the tide comes in). I remember being so in shock of how crazy and detailed the buildings are, not just here but all over Europe and how old they are! Considering how basic and simple the designs of buildings are these days.

·      La Rochelle, France

There was something about this cute little fishing town; market stalls with fresh olives, nuts, vegetables and fruits. There were many towns I didn’t feel comfortable at or we got completely starred at and I hated that. Thats one thing I have discovered with the Europeans, they have not been taught its rude to stare. Watch out if your like Jed and covered in tats or have really fair blond hair like myself. La Rochelle was very cute though I enjoyed walking around the streets here.

·      St. Malo, France

This town has a lot of history and it actually gets surf! We stopped in here for a night or maybe food behind a mc Donald’s- not to eat just for the Wi-Fi!! I think like every little town along the coast in France has an old town. St.Malo did and it had canons out of the walls of the forte that we checked out; here is a photo of me on one.

·      Biarritz, France

This was one of the warmest days on the start of our trip, I remember how excited I was that I could actually take of my 2 jumpers and eat an ice cream in the sunshine. We definitely enjoyed a scoop or 2 of gelato everyday if not every second day.

·      San Sebastian

What a place! I loved San Seb, it’s so beautiful. Unfortunately we didn’t spend enough time there, I think it was only 3 days. That’s one thing I would change or do differently with a van trip is explore more and spend more time there, also probably would want to see it In summer! In all its glory. We ventured up to both lookouts and were blown away with the view. Another tip along the way is always campsites offering spaces for Vans and offering amenities.

·      Pico’s De Europa National Park mountain range, Spain

This was a random stop and just a route we drove through to get to where we were going, I’m glad we did though. The mountain range was so cool and so scenic! Hung out with some snow, which was hard, to believe was around in Spain.

·      Santander, Spain

·      Porto, Portugal (drive through)

·      Lisbon, Portugal (drive through)

·      Benagil Caves, Portugal

Ok so one tip I would like to let you all in is… if you have googled this place and want to go then you must not pay for a boat trip- such a rip off! If you have a car- please drive there and its literally a 50-100m swim around the corner or hire a kayak. We had parked our van in a bush close by and slept the night and did not even realize how close we were to the caves. Eventually on our hike we came across it and enjoyed the view and cliff sides.

·      Lagos, Portugal

Wow! Lagos is amazing. I really enjoyed it here, We also drove to some point where the lighthouse was, Jed always drove down the roads that I thought were so dangerous and wondered how the hell we would get back up them. I always freaked out and would say “No”. I’m glad he decided to ignore me because we pulled the van up to this amazing spot, pulled out our chairs and watched the sunset.  Most nights we ate vegetables with zucchini pasta. Yes Jed did bring a zucchini peeler from home! Haha.

·      San Jose, Spain (Almeria Coast)

This was one of my all time favorite spots and a place I will never forget. It was like the Arizona desert meets the Mediterranean sea. I really love Spain. The whole drive along this coast was beautiful. I was so excited when we found this place. I’m obsessed with clear blue seas rather than cities! The sun was shining, it was warm although the water was absolutely freezing we still charged in.

·     PALMA DE MALLORCA, SPAIN

I don’t even know where to start with this incredible place. Just recently came back here 3 years later just because of how much I enjoy it here and probably will always come back whenever I’m in Europe. We traveled to Palma VIA a ferry from Valencia. Funny story about the Car ferry ride there. It was an over night ferry and we had learnt about how average the seats are onboard for sleeping. So, we decided to hide in the back of the van underneath all the covers and stay the whole night in the van. We had it all thought out. We had food we could munch on and a perfectly comfy bed to sleep on. Woke up in the morning to people walking to their cars whilst peeping through the curtain. Success. Palma has the most beautiful coves; I cannot even explain the color of the water and the backdrop of the mountains. This is another place I feel at home. We drove up to one of the highest points near Cap De Fermentor and slept the night, I remember being so freaked out. Felt there was ghosts all around me and random goats chilling. The most beautiful sunset from up there though. Was funny now I think back to it. Also you have to try out Beleverde Vegan/vegetarian restaurant in the town Pollenca. Seated outdoors underneath a canopy of green trees and offers such delicious food. This was our treat to ourselves for Jed’s birthday!

Cap De Fermentor, Mallorca

Cala Sant Vincec, Mallorca

Sa Colabra, Mallorca

·      Barcelona, Spain

Another spot we spent only a few hours at exploring the streets and tourist attractions. We got a ferry here from Palma, found a random place to park then walked into town and around the main tourist attractions. I wasn’t too impressed to be honest. I know a lot of people love Barcelona but its not one of my favorites. The buildings and cathedral’s are very impressive though.

·      Cassis, France

Yes! CASSIS! I am absolutely in love this place. Another spot I need to get back to and spend a little more time at. It’s incredible, we went on a boat trip to see the coastline and cliff sides,of course we ate a scoop of delicious gelato. We drove to the top of the mountain overlooking the town, watched the sunset and had some moments to ourselves. We came to know pretty quickly where was suitable to pull up for the night and where wasn't. Most of the time we would wake up really early and continue on leaving no time for rangers to fine us. I remember looking out the front windscreen to Jed sitting on the pull out chair listening to hardcore through his headphones and going absolutely ballistic. Air drumming and air guitar. Gosh it was so funny, by this point I think we were starting to lose our minds a little.

·      Nice, France

A spot I didn’t really care about spending much time at. We literally drove straight through the main beach road.

·      Monaco

Same thing here we drove straight through, also there’s not much in the way of a van campsite. So we just continued on.

·      Cinque Terre, Italy

This place is extremely packed with tourists, BUT well worth the trip to. The small villages built into the sides of the cliffs are breathtaking and very picturesque. The speed of the train was syko and something I found incredibly amusing for some reason. The track along the coastline was unfortunately being tended to so we couldn’t do the walk all the way between each town.

·      Pisa, Italy

Funny random stop. We literally took a pit stop to go to Carrefour. Carrefour became our favorite supermarket to shop at for our groceries. So anyway we stopped and walked to the main attraction, which is obviously the ‘leaning tower of Pisa’. Took the famous tourist photo and left.

·      Rome, Italy

Rome is obviously a very famous old city with a lot of history. We found a campsite a fair way out of town but easily accessible by bus. I remember it was a really average day with the weather, really rainy and overcast. The coliseum was actually amazing. One thing about traveling in the down season is how much less packed with tourists it is. It blows me away how old and the history of the buildings in Europe are.  We then went on a bus tour to the Vatican City and missioned around there. I think there was actually an Easter weekend ceremony happening and there was a public concert on and he was actually in town for this. So that was cool to see him. 

·      Pompeii, Italy

Here we did a day tour. The tour guide looked like the guy that wrote Seinfeld – Larry David. It was so funny that Jed had to get a photo with him. He was cool, I actually learnt a lot about Pompeii. Here’s a brief outline: Mount Vesuvius, a volcano near the Bay of Naples in Italy, is hundreds of thousands of years old and has erupted more than 50 times. Its most famous eruption took place in the year 79 A.D., when the volcano buried the ancient Roman city of Pompeii under a thick carpet of volcanic ash. The dust “poured across the land” like a flood, one witness wrote, and shrouded the city in darkness…like the black of closed and unlighted rooms.” Two thousand people died, and the city was abandoned for almost as many years. When a group of explorers rediscovered the site in 1748, they were surprised to find that–underneath a thick layer of dust and debris–Pompeii was mostly intact. The buildings, artifacts and skeletons left behind in the buried city have taught us a great deal about everyday life in the ancient world.

·      Positano (Almalfi Coast), Italy

The drive here was absolutely mental. Being the weekend of Easter. I think all the Italians had a public holiday so they all had the day off and were thinking the same thing. Eat gelato and visit the almalfi coast for a day trip. These roads are one of the top dangerous roads in Europe to drive. Windy/thin and on the edge of a cliff. For me it was a great view. Poor Jed didn’t see much from having to concentrate on keeping us alive. We agreed on the first car park we saw we would take and walk as far as we had too to get to Positano. So that we did. It was worth it. I hope that in the future I go back and actually stay there, somewhere romantic! I’m sure during my time yachting I will see it from the sea.  

In between here by this point Jed and I did start to lose our minds being in the van. We always had our favorite music on which consisted of The National almost every night before bed and a lot of pop punk/hardcore when we were feeling crazy. At this time we were driving from Almalfi coast to Bari another town in Italy.  Like I will always say its the worst place ever. Won’t go into that story. So anyways Jed and I had Confession on and were jamming out hard moshing in the car whilst driving down the highway.

·      Croatia: Dubrovnik/ Split/ Plitvic National Park and KRKA National Park

Croatia hey, Croatia is awesome. I’ve never done sail Croatia like everyone else but I have experienced it by van. From a place called Bari in Italy (THE worst place in the world) we traveled to Croatia via ferry, then arriving in Dubrovnik. It’s another amazing old town! I loved exploring the little alley ways and walking along the ancient City walls surrounding it. But most of all my favorites were the National Parks we trekked to.  We did them both in one day and unfortunately for us the weather was drizzly and overcast. Usually you can swim at Plitvic. Its like a magical fairy land, its incredible! KRKA was a random waterfall out in the middle of actually nowhere. I remember getting annoyed trying to find it.  But we eventually got there.

Dubrovnik, Croatia

KRKA National Park, Croatia

Plitvic National Park, Croatia

·      Venice, Italy

I really did enjoy Venice. Obviously another crazy tourist destination. One thing I remember was the campsite we stayed in! Haha. It was the really good amenities that got me excited, Good Wi-Fi connection and hot showers!! That afternoon we spent walking around the side streets and explored. We watched a guy propose from a gondola (how original mate) haha it was romantic actually. We had some epic Italian pizza for dinner and amazing gelato for desert.

·      Switzerland:  Versasca Valley/ Jungfrau/ Lucerne/ Interlaken

Switzerland is crazy good if you’re into skiing/snowboarding. I definitely need to get back there. There was a lot that Jed was excited to do there but we weren’t able to because the season hadn’t started/the weather was terrible and the trains wouldn’t go up to top or something like that. Versasca Valley is a spot you definitely need to go visit. Jungfrau is also known as ‘The Top Of Europe”. The view and adventure platform at 3454 meters above sea level unites in a place that fascinates people of the Alps: a majestic backdrop of ice, snow and rock with breathtaking far-sightedness. You can usually see the Black forest in Germany on a good clear day from the top. The train literally goes directly straight up through the mountain. The Valleys in Switzerland are a must see, greenest rolling grass hills with cute little cottages huddled through.

·      Amsterdam, Holland

I think most people love Amsterdam its well known for its museums, red light district, coffee shops(weed) but also the great variety of eating & drinking places and night life.  By this point we had returned the Van back in Germany and had flown here. I was blown away by the serious amounts of bicycles and canals.  Reminds me of Venice a little bit. Didn’t smoke or eat cookies while I was here. Just ate loads of Poffertjes (the Dutch pancakes) and rode around all day!! We stayed a little out of town here, but rode and caught buses everywhere! I remember one day riding back to our hotel and witnessing a loser on a moped hitting a chick on her bike, was pretty full on! She was all-good though.

·      London, UK

From Amsterdam we caught a bus to London town. London was cool, was nice to hear the English language again and made me feel seriously at home, as at this point I was feeling a little homesick.

·      St. Ives, UK

A picturesque fishing harbor and seaside town voted best family holiday destination in the coast of Cornwall. Loads of good surf and beautiful beaches. My friend Caroline was living and managing backpackers here, She offered for us to stay for a cheap price. She gave us a private room for 2 weeks and we joined a gym worked out and just hung out! I remember Caro greeting us off the bus from London with Cornish Pasties! It was still cold, actually pretty freezing when the sun wasn’t out. We went paddle boarding one day, there were seals chilling- very different to back home where it would be dolphins or sharks.

·      Athens, Greece

Athens was interesting, not what I had expected it be actually. Very run down and graffiti everywhere. We only had one day and night here before our ferry to Mykonos. We went and saw the Acropolis and a couple of other sights.

·      Mykonos, Greece

Mykonos is one of my favorite Greek islands. Definitely a must see island, Party or no party its up to you. We did not party, just explored on quads and scooters, which was so, much fun. We ate so many gyros. Baklava also quickly became our favorite desert.

·      Santorini, Greece

Santorini was really really amazing obviously. Everyone is aware of this I don’t really need to say anymore. Quads, Gyros, Baklava, sunsets and fun. We also did a boat tour to the volcano that is still active just in the middle of the island that was pretty rad. Check out the Red beach too!

·      Heraklion, Crete

Whatever you do, do not stay in Heraklion! EVER! We literally hated it; we watched series in bed most of the days, we were pretty exhausted. We were only here because of the Greek island package. We did do a day trip to ancient ruins though so don’t judge us. I will be writing about another trip I did to Chania, Crete with my dad later on! Trust me stay tuned because this place is somewhere you NEED to get yourself to or put on your bucket list.

I also would just like to add that Jed and I look pretty funny and gross in a lot of these pictures, please forgive us as we probably hadn't showered in 6 days and cared more about where we were rather than what we looked like. Also these pictures probably aren't good enough for social media these days. No filters, no sharpened photos and a whole lot of realness!

I managed to collect a postcard from every country/ Town we went too, which will be perfect memories for me to show my kids and grand children in the future. Haha. 

As you can see we visited a lot of towns/countries in that 10 weeks.  Lots of frustrated and stressed moments for sure but also SO many laughs and happy memories were made that I will never forget, we enjoyed every moment and especially now when I look back at it, I would do it all over again. Big thanks to map man Jed, we are still very close friends to this day 3 years later. If your reading this I know you know what you mean to me.

This is just a basic outline of my first Euro trip traveling like a backpacker. Many more trips to come so stay tuned! My next Post will probably be about how I got into yachting and some sights I saw and personal experiences along the way.