#ok no points for glen coco either

[softness-and-shattering]

I once asked a friend what's with the picture of the abstract-looking dancer on every other wall, after giving up on figuring it out myself. "That's Jesus" they said.

Being raised by areligious jews with 0 exposure to christianity outside pop culture is so fun. One time I asked my ex-catholic friend why a picture of jesus had a bristle crown and she looked at me like I was insane. One time I heard someone mention the "lance of longinus" and responded, word for word, "Like from Evangelion?" One time during a history lesson my professor described an important monk and scholar as "Dominican" and I spent the rest of class super confused and hung up on it because I was very sure that the Dominican Republic didn't meaningfully exist as an entity back then, maybe she meant he was a native Taino or something but that's a weird way to say that and I'm pretty sure this was pre- European contact? Really fucks people up when they realize I genuinely have no idea.

[breanime]

Johnny Tuturro NSFW Alphabet

Ok, I’m going to sleep now...

warning: steamy, nothing but steam!

*gif not mine*

A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)

The boy is a cuddler. After sex, he’s holding you close, kissing you softly and making sure you were okay. He always make sure you’re good; wiping you off, bringing you water, anything you need. Johnny’s top priority is you, and he wants to make sure that you’re comfortable after sex.

B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)

His favorite part on himself are his abs. He’s very proud of them (as he should be, you go, Glen Coco!), he loves the way you look at them and the feel of your fingers on them. And when you kiss your way down his body, lingering on his abs… Oh man, Johnny loves it so so much.

The non-sexual answer for what he loves on you are your lips. He thinks you have the prettiest lips, and he stares at them all the time. He loves kissing them, and he loves the way they look when they’re spread in a smile…or spread around him… good lord…

Johnny loves your ass. He’s an ass man. He loves the way it feels in his hands, love to smack at as he walks past, he loves kissing and biting it, he loves holding it and pulling it back towards him as he’s inside of you… He just loves your ass. Johnny has walked into many a-wall because he was too busy staring at your ass to watch where he was going. He also ADORES your ass when you run. As much of an adrenaline junkie as he is, Johnny will volunteer to be positioned behind you when you’re arresting someone, just so he can watch your ass as you run after the perp.

C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)

Johnny loves cumming on you, specifically your ass. He loves to see himself spread on your skin, loves the sound you make—the soft, surprised, delighted gasp—when he releases on you. He just loves it all. That being said, he simply adores the feel of cumming inside of you. Jesus, the way you wrap around him and clench him has Johnny seeing stars. And the way it feels—boy oh boy, Johnny is a man of many pleasures, but cumming inside of you is his bread and freaking butter, baby! But, he also loves seeing his cum in your mouth, loves to see your mouthful of him, watching you lick it up and swallow, your tongue darting off to chase the taste of him… I need to sit down…

D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)

When he’s away on a case and hasn’t been able to talk to you for a long time, he has wet dreams about you. Like, he’s just having a sexy dream about you—more memory, than dream, really—and before he knows it, he’s cumming in his fucking sleep. He starts sleeping in the nude when he’s away for too long, just because it makes clean-up easier.

E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

Ohhhh, Johnny is experienced. He went through a slut phase and learned a lot about sex and women’s bodies and the things that turn him on. He definitely knows what he’s doing, and as an undercover agent, he’s especially gifted at adapting when he has to, so… The man knows what he’s doing.

F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)            

He loves em all! He loves doggy style, being able to grab your ass and watch you take him, loves that he gets to set the pace. He loves missionary, loves that he can watch and hear you so well, loves that he can be soft and gentle or fast and rough in that position, loves to watch the expressions on your face as your on your back, taking him. He loved you on top, loves to watch your breasts bounce, loves to grab at you, loves that you are more in control. Johnny loves being with you in every way, his favorite position really changes day by day and according to his mood.

G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)

He’s humorous more often then not, and he makes you laugh too. He can, of course, be serious, and he is—especially after a close call at work or after a fight, but Johnny likes to laugh during sex.

H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)

Groomed enough. He doesn’t manscape all the way, but Johnny likes to keep it low cut, make sure you can clearly see THE THICKNESS.

I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)

Very romantic, Johnny is all about kisses and caresses and whispering how beautiful you are and how good you feel into your skin. He laughs with you, his hand on the side of your face, smiling down at you, and you can see the love he had for you reflected in his eyes. You can feel it in his touch, Johnny makes it a point to leave NO room for questioning how much he cares for you when you’re being intimate together.

J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)

Due to the nature of his job, he has to be away from you for long bouts sometimes, so he jacks off when he’s missing you too much. He doesn’t necessarily enough it—obviously, it feels good in the moment, but his hand could never compare to the real thing. Johnny will jack off when he’s away from you, and he enjoys a good bout of phone sex, but he definitely prefers being with you in person.

K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)

You saying his name turns him on. Like, when you say “Johnny Tuturro” in regular conversation, he gets a little tingle down there. And when you say his name during sex—he loves it. He also has a kink with doing it in public places, he likes sex on the beach, sex in the living room at Graceland, he likes sex on a plane… He loves the idea of being with you in every and all scenarios.

L = Location (favorite places to do the do)

Um… Everywhere? Nah, but his favorite place is his room. He loves that he can draw sex out when you’re in his room, and that he can cuddle you once it’s done.

M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)

Your laugh. Your smile. The way you say his name. The way your ass looks in pants, and leggings, and dresses. Johnny’s sex life improves exponentially when he’s in love; everything turns him on, and everything you do is sexy to him. He also loves when you cozy up to him. There have been many-a-time when you’ve been cuddling with Johnny, just on the couch watching a movie and talking, and you’d end up on top of him with his hands all over you. You just turn him on.

N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)

He jokes about threesomes, but he would never have one. He isn’t keen on sharing you with anyone. And he’d never do anything to hurt you—he draws the line at smacking your ass, he couldn’t stomach choking or hitting you. He likes to see his cum on you, but he isn’t into any other bodily fluids, and he would never talk down to you during sex. He just can’t see himself being harsh with you, especially in an intimate situation.

O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)

Oh, he loves to receive, but he is a master at giving. Johnny can spend hours licking between your legs, coaxing orgasm after orgasm after you. He loves tasting you, but more than that, he lives for the sounds you make. He fucking loves the monas and groans and screams you make when he’s giving you head. Drives him insane.

P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)

Both; slow and sensual most of the time, but he can be fast and rough, especially after a fight or if he had been away from you for a long time. Either way, it’s a good time for you. If he’s rough, though, he always makes sure to give you slow, sensual, soft and loving sex afterwards.  

Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)

Johnny loves a good quickie. And sometimes, they’re just necessary. Plus, Johnny’s sex drive is high, so sometimes all he can get is a quickie with you—which he would take gladly. In all honesty, he tries for at least one quickie a day. Hence the risk factor…

R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)

The biggest risks Johnny takes with you is the public sex thing. He’s down to experiment, he thinks sex should be an ongoing dialogue, and he wants to do whatever it takes to get you off—within reason.

S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Johnny can go foreveeeeeer. He doesn’t last as long as usual if it’s been a while, but he’s up and ready to go within minutes. Johnny can go all damn day, he’s got fantastic stamina—he can last for hours. All he really needs is a water bottle and maybe a snack after hours of sex, and he’s back at it.

T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)

He loves vibrators. He loves using them on you, loves to watch you shimmer and shake as he pressed it against you. He loves fucking you with the vibrator on your clit, it actually turns him on, too, the feel of the vibration. He also likes to watch you use toys on yourself, it makes him so hard watching you, and he can’t keep his hands to himself for long. He also likes eating things off of your naked body—whipped cream, candy, chocolate sauce… He lives for it.

U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)

Oh, Johnny is a tease. He loves slipping his hand between your thighs under the table while you’re out, he loves whispering innuendos—or straight up dirty talk—into your ear at random times during the day. We all know that he is half-naked all the time, and he struts around with his shift off all day long, knowing what that does to you. And when he comes out of the water after a day of surfing… it’s like a slow motion movie, and you want to be the dewdrops of water trickling down his skin. Mm…

V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)

Johnny can be a talker, but really, he’s a groaner. He makes the most delicious noises when you’re together, he’s all sighs and grunts and growls. He likes hearing you over hearing himself, though. He does this fantastic scream/grunt/groan thing when he cums that’s super sexy.

W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)

Johnny is 100% into cockwarming. He loves burying himself inside of you, going asleep, and waking up still in you. He’s a big fan of spooning for that very reason.

X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)

Johnny’s average length, but he’s got an excellent thickness that really makes him special. We all know the boy is fit, but he’s packing some significant heat between his legs, too.

Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)

High. As. Hell. Johnny wants you all day every day and twice on Sundays. His yearning and his sex drive and stamina all together is a POTENT combination. He’ll have you walking funny for days on end.

Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)

He tries not to fall asleep until you’ve fallen asleep, but if he’s exerted a lot of energy (wink wink), he can fall asleep pretty quickly. However, if there’s even a hint that you want to go again, he’ll stay up, no problem. Johnny very much enjoys falling asleep inside of you, waking up in the middle of the night, and fucking you some more. But more than that, he loves watching you fall asleep in his arms, all warm and sweet and sated, he loves seeing you worn out from his love. Hallelujah.

*******************************************************************************************

Thanks for reading! Please let me know what you think! I’m not very good at these alphabets, but I tried, haha!

Everything Taglist: @sweetybuzz25​​  @mrsjaxtellerfan​​  @rhabakoli​​  @encounterthepast​​ @realduckvader​​   @justvnash​​ @knowles-morgan​ @ateliefloresdaprimavera​ @evanlys19​  @nyxxnoxx​​ @carlaangel86​ @luminex3​ @jigsawlover10​  @gollyderek​ @otomefromtheheart​ @lexxierave​ @crushed-pink-petals

[karliesbuzzcut]

Hi! Vogue shoot receipt person. I’m a burgeoning bb!anti but doing it from a different angle which is - instead of debunking Kaylor a- I’m proving Joshlie haha. Because a lot of the Karlie fans have missed their breakups and issues and such! Which is ok but like. Interesting. Anyway. I thought I saw a post on your blog that he was at all the major events including the Vogue shoot and was curious where you got that. Peace and love ✌🏼

I’m sorry I couldn’t help, Anon! If at some point I talked about Josh being at the photoshoot I seriously don’t remember.

And I admire your effort, and believe me, I’m not going to be the one saying “don’t bother trying to convince anyone” because look at me. Look at my blog.

But Karlie and Josh are married. They had two weddings. They spend the holidays together. I feel like if that hasn’t convinced Kaylors that they are a real couple, him being at the photoshoot certainly won’t either. Look at Kissgate.

But hey. Again. Who the fuck do I think I am to discourage you. I have fun with my blog and if you’re having fun with your investigation, you go Glen Coco! ✊🏻

[duetlyreads]

Rant

Its late and I’m tired and stressed from upcoming finals and irritated at myself for other reasons and I just want to get this out even if I’m not a very active (in terms of talking to other bloggers) member of my fandoms because this has been bothering me since like December and I've had enough. 

Seeing all of these wonderfully talented authors and fellow fans delete their blogs or contemplating deleting their blogs makes me very sad, but at the same time, I know that in most they are doing what they believe is best for themselves. I know that there are different reasons why different authors have chosen to delete, but I have noticed a disturbing trend of anon hate and increasing writing demands being a culprit of these losses. And I have some Things to say about that. Especially when it causes writers to feel like something they used to love doing is now a burden (this just breaks my heart)

It makes me both furious and sad to see that there are people who think it is ok to send hateful messages to someone, for whatever reason. To those anons, I am sorry that you have nothing better to do with your time than to try to bring a fellow human being down. I honestly don’t know what goes through your head when you hit that send button with that message filled with negative thoughts, but I am sorry that you lack the ability to express your feelings in a functional and healthy way, or even to be kind at all. Empathy is a tried and true method, and if you could put yourself out of your own selfish bubble long enough to see how you would feel if someone sent such a message to you, well, I hope that you would make a different choice. Whether you truly and wholeheartedly mean what you saw or not, whether or not you think you are in the right, hate is never the answer.

The sheer selfishness that some people exhibit when it comes to communicating with their so-called “favorite authors” is disgusting. If they really are your favorite author then you should have the decency to show some respect and understanding about how difficult it is to have a life and a current writing blog. Authors are not machines. They have setbacks, they have limits, and they have free choice of writing whatever the fuck they want. It’s their blog, and their choice, not yours. They do not exist to serve your every whim. If an author hasn’t updated a series in a while, what you SHOULD do is politely ask them ONCE (1 TIME) if they have a plan on when hey might be working on it again, and whatever answer they give you, accept it as canon. What you SHOULDN’T do is throw a tantrum like a toddler because your aren’t getting what you want or insult the author because they, a fellow human being with other things to do with their time, are not writing fast enough to your standards. How about you try writing a 20 part multific that's around 2K words each and update it regularly while being a full-time student/parent/worker, all the while either going through severe writer’s block or inspiration for writing a different piece altogether. Authors and bloggers alike are not perfect, nor do they claim to be. Cut them some slack and back. Off.

To the authors that have deleted their blogs for these other personal reasons, I first want to say that even though I may not know the details surround your circumstances, I understand the need to put yourself before others in order to be at peace. So in that, I say: “Four for you, Glen Coco.” Huge and amazing props to you for putting your mental/emotional/physical wellbeing over the wants and desires of others. I know that for many of you, it was most likely a very tough decision and a very painful time, but if it ultimately led you to feel peace or more at one with yourself, I applaud you for that. Even if you just transferred to another blog, that is still a great thing considering what may have been going on at the time. Things weren’t going so well, but you decided to start afresh! Go you! Secondly, I want to thank you. Not just for sharing your amazing talent with us, but for sharing YOU with us. You, who brought smiles to so many faces. You, who may have made us squeal inhumanly loud at the fluff, or cry uncontrollably at the angst, or have to take multiple cold showers after reading the smut. Thank you. You didn’t have to, but you did, and that made all the difference. Thank. You. And even if you are no longer writing on here or other places on the internet, I hope that you continue to develop your wonderful talent and share it with kindred spirits. Bless.

If you are contemplating deleting your blog for any of the above reasons or other personal ones, please know that whatever you chose, if it makes you happy in the end, I support your decision. Life is full of constant struggles and we never know if the choices we make are the right ones until after we make them, sometimes long after the fact. I can be a pessimist at times, but I like to think of life as a roller coaster. When you’re feeling down and miserable, I believe that at some point, things will start to look up. Your choices can either speed up or slow down that inevitable incline, but sooner or later, it will happen. Whatever you choose, try to make sure that it will make YOU happy in the long run. I believe in you. And if you ever need someone to talk to, my door is always open, along with my bag of doggo pics to try and brighten your day.

Tagging some bloggers and writers I know may find this relevant bc you guys deserve to know that you are loved and appreciated. Feel free to tag anyone else. 

@mattmoredick @bucky-plums-barnes (special message for you in tags) @sexylibrarian1 @timeforsmut  

(Note: It is 1 am and i honestly cannot rack my brain enough to come up with the other multitude of bloggers i know have been through this so im going to also tag authors who have been around for a while and have seen some things. Sorry if this is awkward! @persephone-is-here-omg @after-avenging-hours @angryschnauzer @buckyywiththegoodhair @lenavonschweetz @captainrogerss)

Tagging for Reasons:

@drearncatcher37 @runmild

[pantoute]

now the moving pictures

yesterday i went through everything i read in 2017, now i’m going to go through everything i watched in 2017

[puts on my wrist brace] let’s do this

MOVIES

hidden figures: a promising start to the year. i loved it so much i also re-watched it as 2017 died

the a-team: i did not choose to watch this. i did not really like it. the promising start is starting to look bad

the internship: also did not choose to watch this. i was pleasantly surprised by some things but overall did not really enjoy it that much either. where did my promising start go

what we do in the shadows: vampires asking their human friend to show them a youtube video of a sunrise was so funny and sad at the same time

moneyball: i did not choose to watch this but i liked it 

now you see me: i did not choose to watch this and i did not like it!

the secret world of foley: [makes mouth sounds] actually you can make great wing flapping sounds by waving a wet towel

second string: I DID NOT CHOOSE TO WATCH THIS AND I HATED IT

kedi:  😻 😻 😻 😻 so many cats with big personalities

wonder woman: i thought it was ok but definitely over-hyped. i don’t think we should be satisfied with this.

hunt for the wilderpeople: i loved this movie so much i re-watched it the next day with my parents. i think my favourite movie i watched in 2017.

the world's end: this movie’s supposed to be funny but i don’t think i really get this humour

my neighbour totoro: re-watch in a movie theatre which is always fun.

goon: RE-WATCH

cool runnings: first time watching it, i really liked it! FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME

captain blood: see, he’s a doctor who becomes a pirate, so blood works on two levels

gaga: five foot two: celebrity is a weird thing, chronic pain is an awful thing. i liked seeing the background stuff to the half-time show, i loved her half-time show

thor: ragnarok: hell yes. i had kind of lost interest in marvel stuff but this sold me on it again

murder on the orient express: great moustaches. WHYYYYY did they give poirot a dead lover???? what?? WHAT???? W H A T? also, casting d//pp but i knew that going in and made my choices

M: !!!!!!!!! what a villain

coco: coco was beautiful and amazing! i overheard some girl saying she didn’t like it and she’s wrong. she also said she didn’t like the ending of moana so i guess she’s doubly wrong, too bad for her.

glengarry glen ross: it was on tv and i sat through the entire thing so i guess there’s that. they’re all scammers though, right? smh

amy: this made me really sad

the princess bride: re-watch for me. my mother’s never seen the entire thing in one go, just bits and pieces out of order so we watched it properly.

TV SHOWS

voltron: legendary defender season 2-4: i like vld because i pretend no one else watches it or knows about it, please don’t talk to me about it i just want to watch my space show in peace the day it comes out

mob psycho 100: MOB MOB WHAT DO YOU WANT i want a season 2

mbmbam: what good.... thank

star trek tos season 1: i didn’t actually finish season 1 cause i started work around then but i got really close to the end so i’m counting it. it was a lot of fun and i really loved the costumes and sets for some eps. probably going to pick it back up again at some point

oofuri season 1: re-watch I LOVE BASEBALL

brooklyn 99 season 4: ya, fun. i watch b99 when it comes to netflix so i usually end up binging it in a few days

gravity falls: so probably about 80% of this was a re-watch and then i finished it up properly. i love it

the switch: this was a fun independent show.

the good wife season 1-3: i also got more than halfway through season 4. probably watched this over the course of a month and a half and then abruptly dropped it. i’ll probably pick it up again sometime

silver spoon: ha ha a fun show about farming, why am i crying so much

cromartie high school: dear mother, this show means a lot to me for some reason. the intro song is kinda sad but it makes me happy.

kaiji ultimate survivor: hahahahah i love kaiji. ha ha. hahaha. damn it. the art could be off-putting for some i guess? but i grew to love it. like a lot. big nose, sharp profile, will lose. 

kaiji against all rules: here he is again, against all the rules. this show had me on the edge of my seat and stressed out for like TWELVE EPISODES OVER A SINGLE PACHINKO MACHINE. the pachinko machine’s name is the bog. the bog is the devil.

the good place season 1: i went into this knowing the Big Spoiler and i was so naive i still got shocked by it. i really liked it! i laughed a lot.

i started a lot of tv shows i never finished, or continued watching shows i had already been watching and still didn’t finish, but no one wants to hear about single eps

MISC

i listened to the adventure zone twice and played a lot of stardew valley

that was my 2017 in media

[twentyghosts]

Mean Girls @ National Theater 11/11/17, 8pm

Hello! I saw Mean Girls the Musical (currently in pre-Broadway tryout at the National Theater in DC) last weekend! A bunch of people asked me how it was, and I had more than a few tweets worth of stuff to say, so I figured I'd dust off the ol' Tumblr. (I actually tried to write this up on my phone on the way back from DC, but the Tumblr app ate that draft and now it's gone. TUMBLR IS A FUGLY SLUT DO NOT TRUST HER!!!)

Anyway, a few disclaimers before I begin:

I'm not like, a theater critic, and I didn't take any notes, and Tumblr already ate my freshest draft, so these are just like, casual memories/observations as a fan of musical theater and Mean Girls the movie, not an expert professional review.

Mean Girls the Musical is a little #problematic in basically the same way that Mean Girls the Movie is (and uhh basically the same way that everything Tina Fey touches is--some culturally insensitive "hipster racism", some "satirical" fat-shaming, etc). For me personally, my love of the movie is able to overcome the wince-worthy moments, so I'm mostly just going to broadly acknowledge that it's a #problematicfave here at the top and move on. If you're looking for an in-depth breakdown of Mean Girls I'm sure you can find that elsewhere on the internet, but that's not my main endeavor here.

This review will contain spoilers, I guess? The plot of the musical is largely the same as that of the movie, but it did make some changes, and I want to talk about those changes! So if you're planning to see it and want to be surprised, move on. (Or, uhhh I guess if you haven't seen the 2004 movie but don't want to be spoiled for that either….)

OK, I've disclaimed! Let's dig in!

I thought the set design was really smart! It's mostly a set of plain white panels that have projections on them (lockers, mall kiosks, etc). Pre-show they're projected with snippets from the Burn Book, which include hints that the musical is more social media-inclusive than the movie (stuff like "___has 0 followers" etc), although they're still handwritten notes.

There's also a lot of great desk/cafeteria table choreography during the school scenes.

The cast is all great! Super talented, great voices, great comic timing. The youths are mostly unknown to me, though Regina George is played by Taylor Louderman, aka Campbell from Bring it On the musical. Also, Gretchen is played by Ashley Park, an Asian-American actress, so...at least currently, the musical has one fewer white character than the movie. (Every other main character is white, unless you count Mr. Duvall and Kevin Gnapoor.) And Mrs. Heron/Mrs. George/Ms. Norbury are all played by KERRY BUTLER whaaat! I saw her name on the lobby card and freaked out about it; my friend who I went with was like "who?" OK whatever, I guess she's just Broadway famous, not regular famous, but for the record: omg Kerry Butler.

The first act felt a little long and I wouldn't be surprised if a song or two gets cut before the move to Broadway, although I'm not sure which ones? Like…"I Can Be," which is Karen's sexy Halloween song, doesn't contribute anything to the plot but it was SO FUNNY, I hope it stays. Gretchen's solo fretting about her role in the plastics, "What's Wrong With me?" is a good song and all but felt like it came a little early in the show.

One thing the creative team is definitely fully aware of is: which lines/moments from the movie are so iconic that they will require an immediate applause break ("too gay to function," "so fetch," "you go Glen Coco," etc etc etc), and those moments were spaced out at pretty good intervals I thought. For me, it never bogged down the show (the way the later Sharknado movies do, for example). But then, I love and frequently quote Mean Girls the movie. If someone went to see this musical without having seen the movie (why), I imagine they would be like……………..what's happening.

Janis and Damien serve as the narrators, which is a good choice but it minimizes the amount that they interact with Cady. it felt like the creative team was like, "OK, people already like Janis and Damien, so let's move on to really trying to humanize the Plastics!" Which, I get, and it kind of worked, except it came at the expense of Janis and Damien, to the point where it was hard to buy that Cady was even friends with them in the first place. Even as I'm saying that Act I was too long, I wish for at least one more scene of Cady, Janis, and Damien actually being friends?

Also, Kerry Butler and her wigs completely nailed all the mannerisms of the 3 adult women she plays, but she barely sings. She has a duet (as Mrs. George) with Regina called "Stay with Mother" that was a really sweet moment and again, served to humanize Regina and her "cool mom," which I liked. And I get that the GIRLS are the point of Mean Girls and the adults don't have a huge role in things...but also why did you cast Kerry Butler if she's not going to sing more? I'm surprised Ms. Norbury didn't have a song (or even part of one).

The musical also pads out Aaron Samuels' character a little bit more--his backstory is he's being raised by a single mom who lied about their address on school paperwork so he could go to a school in a better district. (This detail gets added to the Burn Book and means that he gets kicked out of school after the Burn Book is unleashed.) It's...fine? The thing about Aaron in the movie is that he's basically a sexy lamp, which I kind of like--it's so much a story about the dynamics between the girls and Aaron is just a status symbol, like, you know...the hot girl in most other high school movies. BUT SURE FINE GIVE HIM A BACKSTORY WHATEVER

The change that I felt most negatively about is that, in the musical, Regina's downfall at the talent show comes a little differently than it did in the movie (where, if you'll recall, after her confusing last-minute choreography change, Gretchen kicked the CD player). Here, her Santa skirt busts open (because she's ~too fat~ from eating Kalteen bars) and embarrassing pics of her fat butt [in sexy underwear] on stage go viral. (Which, you know, would have been hard to do in pre-smart phone 2004). It made me feel much more sympathetic for Regina, which I don't think was the point.

Obviously making Regina gain weight was a big plot point of original Mean Girls, and as previously noted, it's...not great. BUT in the movie it felt more excusable given that Regina was mean to others about their weight, and it also--with the scene at the 1 3 5 store etc--felt a little more like it was going for some slight social commentary, whereas in the musical it comes across a little more like "ew fat people are gross", especially since the butt pic is splashed all over all the background screens on set. (As in the movie--Regina is not even "fat" but I think they padded her butt for this scene? Anyway it's uncomfortable.)

This might be splitting hairs but idk, that specific plot point just seemed, well, um, meaner, and it's never quite...addressed. I'm not even sure what I wish they would have said about it, but they definitely didn't. (I mean, again, I know it's Mean Girls.)

I did like that the musical put more emphasis on Cady's love of math and how shitty it is that acting dumb works as a technique--I really liked that Ms. Norbury invited Aaron to the Mathletes finals so he could see Cady in action and explicitly told Cady that she needed to not diminish herself for a guy. (Which I know that's brushed upon in the movie, but there he doesn't actually go to the Mathletes event and it was a cute moment in the musical.)

Another change that I guess I like is that Kevin Gnapoor ends up with Gretchen, instead of Janis. It's sort of humanizing for Gretchen, and it leaves Janis's sexuality a little more up in the air? (In the movie it kind of comes across like she gets with Kevin just to prove that she's not a lesbian; in the musical Regina still calls her a "dyke"  in the Burn Book which seems like...less of an attack than it was in 2004? Like...I think there's some more that could be unpacked with queer female sexuality being weaponized in this way, and the difference between outing someone against their will vs just calling someone queer as an insult. So...it's not totally clear what the deal is with Janis's sexuality but I think it would be cool if in the musical she just actually was a queer character who was mad about having been outed before she was ready.) Anyway I'm not sure I've said anything coherent here but the POINT is, Kevin/Gretchen. Sure.

Overall I liked all the songs, and there's a good blend of ballads and big songs with desk choreography. Whenever I try to remember how any individual song sounded all my brain will deliver to me is "Good for You" from Dear Evan Hansen though. (I don't have a great ear for music so this isn't necessarily an indictment of Mean Girls the Musical.) Gosh now this is like trying to not think of an elephant, all I can think about is Dear Evan Hansen. I haven't even listened to it in awhile. Umm I do remember that some of the song have some, like, Ladysmith Black Mambazo-type African flavor? Sorry I don't know music words but I bet you know what I mean. (Also PS the event in Madison that Cady skips has been changed from Ladysmith Black Mambazo to GARRISON KEILLOR which is a real downgrade.)

The musical ends shortly after the Spring Fling (where Cady arrives straight from Mathletes, wins spring fling queen, breaks up the crown, etc) and there's a big finale called "You Can Sit With Us". I did somewhat miss the movie's epilogue where we see how the former Plastics have learned to channel their gifts ("There's a 30% chance it's already raining") and the Junior Plastics appear? It also felt a little bit pat considering the kind of edge the movie/musical have in tone? But whatever it's a nice sentiment and a fun song.

Anyway! Those, I guess, are my rambling thoughts about Mean Girls the Musical! If you have any specific questions feel free to ask me and I'll see if I remember the answer!

TLDR:

Does Mean Girls the Musical need to exist? No! (But it'll be great for high schools to put on in a few years!)

If someone didn't like Mean Girls the movie, would they like Mean Girls the musical anyway?

No!

Did you personally have a grool time watching Mean Girls the Musical?

Yes!