#ok maybe not necessarily the second but it's baffling to me to see it's not popular. huh

[sisterdivinium]

Otp: true is so important. To me.

[luminouslywriting]

Hello. I’m a fan of your writing! Loving Ruth and Mastermind so far. Also I’m loving all this Brady content!!

Ok so I had a thought, what if one day while Brady is yelling or not yelling but talking a bit strictly with someone (a bit like he was with Crosby) and his girlfriend witnesses is and find herself a bit turned on by this. So the second the other mrs walk away she’s grabbing Brady and dragging him somewhere private to have her way with him. And he think oh maybe she wants to talk me down or give me a moment to calm down but 😧 oh she trying to take of my clothes. And while he’s worried about someone walking in, he doesn’t have the strength to stop kissing her.

Nonny, thank you so much!! I’m glad you’re enjoying Mastermind so much :) I would love to do this one for you! My requests and asks are open and I’m working on crafting a masterlist at the moment! More below the cut and cut for length:

-I can’t say that I blame you for feeling a little hot under the collar when it comes to John Brady and his sassy and firm attitude. I get it. -That being said, I think it comes down to the fact that he's not necessarily mean to people as much as he is firm and stubborn about certain things

-So if you see him getting fired up and passionate about something, it's a rare display of emotion from the usually stoic John Brady

-I think that the first time that it happens, he's completely taken aback and shocked at the way you respond to that

-In fact, he might even think that you're pulling him into the storage room to scold him about how he needs to be nicer (and that was his way of being nice haha)

-But the minute your hands start going through his hair, all words just kinda falter and he's suddenly like the internet explorer icon and not a single brain cell is present

-All attempts at being discreet? Out the door

-He's a little baffled, not gonna lie

-But you're out here getting very handsy in this very small supply closet and what's a guy to do?

-The answer is to shut up and kiss his girlfriend back, obviously

-I don't think it goes so far as sex, but I definitely think that someone's getting pleasured in that closet (whether it be him or you, now it depends on the situation)

-Speaking of the situations:

-There are times when he acts super authoritative in front of you because he WANTS to get a rise out of you. What a cheeky bastard.

-He knows EXACTLY why your thighs are clenched together and why you can't take your eyes off of him and so this is going to result in a very fun little rendezvous together because you're just oh so needy and he can't leave you high and (not very dry haha)

-But there are other times when he's completely taken off guard, but nonetheless pleased by your sudden bursts of affection

-He's definitely walked out of that closet with a set of panties in his pocket before

-And if he comes back to the men looking particularly pleased with himself, he's going to get hassled about it from Bucky (because of course Bucky knows, there's no way that he wouldn't know), and a fair amount of teasing would go on

-And because you're such an affectionate menace, he definitely walks out of there with several hickies on his neck

-And at one point, Bucky does call him out on it

"Your girl know that those are considered damage to United States property?" -Bucky, with a shit-eating grin

*Cue the look of panic bc Brady was absolutely unaware he had any visible hickies and now he's mortified*

[mellowgoop]

ok hee hee funny pikmin bloom right

INCHRESTING TIMING... i literally just found out today, a year and a half of playing later that theres a... max pikmin count?

i was less than a week away from hitting the pikpocalypse! again I have to ask, what is the point of this game? LOL, it seems like each year I have to make one post about questioning what the point of this app even is

at first, I was into it for the novelty of planting flowers but I (like many other people) lost interest when I realized they aren't permanent. I don't know, something about filling up your town with a garden felt a lot more fufilling than how they actually are, so it just became my pedometer / nightly checkin app for awhile

but then things really turned for the better when I realized that you want to match pikmin to shroom color for raids! Ive been happy for god knows how long, maybe ten months even? it seemed like such a good loop- grow pikmin, use them for pickups to boost their friendship and slowly see your ability to take down each mushroom increase for each color.

add in the high cieling and steady gradual improvement and I was pretty damn happy! even if the rewards weren't much to me (I pretty much only use nectar / petals to Not Have Full Jars and enjoying the haptic feedbacks of feeding them) so it was a bit of a hollow cycle. the real payoff was definitely seeing my army grow, and my enjoyment hit an all time high when I went on a vacation far away and tried to get one of each color from that country in three days. (also, sending pikmin on ocean voyages lasting ten days was super novel)

so now I hit the second existential nightmare of pikmin bloom.... its not a game about growing your army. another hit this same confusion at the initial cap (300) and asked the same question on reddit. and i just Do Not agree with the responses? "oh youre supposses to farm them to max bond then delete them for petals." for TEN PETALS? after ten MONTHS of friendship? im sorry, I know road flowers are suppossed to be the end goal in miyamotos little imagination but that is FAR from compelling to me. even if theyre rare petals... absolutely not? another huge pull in this last year was collecting decor sets (esp seasonal) so I somewhat understand sacrificing your army of hometown stickermin at some point but... absolutely not. that is NOT how im playing! im nowhere near at max shroom destroying capacity!

I'm not really saying death of the industry gacha game necessarily, I'm not even saying scamtendo because playing for a year and a half and only feeling pressured to make a micro transaction once is actually decent in my mind. I'm just baffled at how little of a point this game seems to have and how miyamoto it is in its insitance on this fleeting impermanent joy of planting flowers. but yeah uh, sorry if refusal to put my army in the meat grinder for ten petals is playing the game wrong but like. I will gladly pay $12 to keep growing my army for a few years while it's still fun

[ttuesday]

Hello there! Thank you for writing all these amazing headcanons! <333 I get so much joy when there's a new post from ya!

I had a prompt in mind: what are the gang members like when they get reaaaaly drunk? Who gets sad & sentimental, who gets all funny and jokey, who is all sleepy, and etc etc etc?

now this is an interesting one hehe

Arthur

When Arthur's drunk, he does his absolute best to try to convince everyone he isn't that drunk. He tries to walk in a straight line to prove he’s ok but accidentally walks into Uncle.

He somehow has great hearing and joins in on every sing song within a five mile radius. Arthur could be talking to you on the outskirts of camp but if he hears someone singing by the campfire, he joins in immediately.

He gets into a very jolly mood when he's drunk and talks about anything and everything. He rambles on about so much he interrupts himself a lot.

If he's sweet on you then Arthur asks to hold your hand and he won’t stop holding your hand for the e n t i r e night. No matter where you go or what you do, Arthur will potter after you with his hand still holding yours. And whenever you look at him, Arthur has a big, proud smile on his face as he looks at your hand in his.

Charles

Who is this man? Where tf did Charles  go? He acts very differently than sober Charles. Whatever idea springs to mind, he wants to do it. If he wants to do interpretive dance in the middle of camp then that's exactly what he does or if he decides to go skinny dipping at 4am then off he goes, trying to find a lake or a river.

One second Charles could be laughing so much he's nearly crying, a second later he could start sobbing because he remembered that time he accidentally shot a lawman's horse when he was trying to aim for the guy. Please hug him.

It doesn't matter how drunk Charles is, he can still yeet anyone over Mount Hagen and he can go from fun and goofy to deathly intimidating in under 1.5 seconds.

And if you and Charles are dating then he just wants to kiss you. He kisses your temple all the way down to your jawline before kissing back up to your ear.

Dutch

Dutch gets quiet when he's drunk. He just kinda sits there and stares off in a daze for ten minutes. When someone talks to him, it's like he buffers for a few seconds before responding.

But when he starts talking, good luck trying to get Dutch to shut up. And this man needs everyone to stop what they're doing and give him all of their attention when he decides to say a speech. And if one person stops paying attention then Dutch storms off.

Dutch really does believe he's unstoppable when he's drunk. And if you don't believe him then don't worry, Dutch has no problem spending three hours explaining how all of his plans are apparently bulletproof.

If Dutch is sweet on you then he tries to flirt with you. But the more he drinks, the harder it gets for him to string a sentence together. "Your eyes..." he slurs his words but tries to stay composed "they remind me... of uh... eyes".

Micah

Micah is so goddamn laid back when he's drunk. Strangely people tend to get on with Micah when he's drunk but by the time he's sober again he's gone back to being... well, Micah.

He's nice ? Which is so bizarre but he actually makes an effort to talk to people without antagonising them and instead of taking offence to comments, he laughs them off and sees it as a joke.

As long as the conversation stays light, Micah keeps his happy demeanour and he isn't even a bad loser when it comes to poker and five finger fillet. In a way, seeing Micah so friendly unnerves some of the other gang members because of how baffling it is.

If he's sweet on you then Micah will continuously asks if you'd like to sit on his lap. Of course he flirts with you but he's a lot sweeter than normal and tells you that you could definitely do better than him so he understands if you reject him.

John

John comes out of his shell when he's drunk. Instead of keeping his mouth shut, he says whatever he thinks of. Yeah he gets into more fights cause he doesn't know when to stop talking.

He can fall asleep anywhere and at any time. You could be chatting with him by the campfire and slowly feel him lean against your shoulder as he starts to softly snore. He once fell asleep while standing up right with one of his hands on a barrel for support.

When John tries to go to sleep when he's drunk, he's like a kid trying to go to sleep at a sleepover. John loudly says the most random words and makes random noises before he bursts out laughing, thinking it's the funniest thing in the world.

If John has a crush on you and he's drunk, he tries to be so helpful. He constantly asks you if you need anything. If you ask him to get you something then he walks a few feet away before completely forgetting what you asked for.

Bill

Let's be real, Bill's already a hothead when he's sober and he's exactly the same when he's drunk. He's very fast to start a fight but if someone lands one punch then that's Bill done for the night. Usually he's a better fighter but he has terrible balance when he's been drinking.

He tries to be productive when he's drunk, thinking that now's the perfect time to do some chores and to go on guard duty. Everyone knows better than to leave Bill go out on watch when he's like this. One time he tried to shoot a squirrel cause he thought it was going to run into camp.

Bill rambles a lot too, mainly telling stories from when he was in the army or reminiscing about different robberies he's done with the gang.

Bill can get really anxious so if y'all are in a relationship, he needs your comfort. His mind starts racing and he worries about little things so for you to be there and tell him everything is alright truly means a lot to him.  

Javier

Javier gets very goofy when he's drunk. He's keeps things light hearted, joking about things but is still able to hold his tongue when needed and have proper conversations too.

Honestly, Javier is probably one of the most level headed people in comparison to the rest of the gang but because he tends to stumble and get his words mixed up, people presume he's completely wasted when he's had a few to drink.

This man LIVES for those 2am deep and meaningful conversations. He absolutely adores having them and being drunk helps him open up more about his feelings so he has no problem expressing his emotions.

Are you ready to be swept off of your feet, both metaphorically and maybe literally depending on if you'll leave Javier do that? He's such a hopeless romantic when he's drunk. If camp is near a field or woodland then he sneaks off, picks some flowers and shyly gives them to you.

Sean

Sean manages to go through every mood when he's drunk. Everything is funny to him and he tries to make jokes about whatever comes to mind. Usually he jokes about Bill and Micah which leads to one of them arguing with Sean.

That's when Sean gets angry and thinks he's able to knock out anyone with one punch. Normally he ends up accidentally walking into a table or tripping over himself cause of how focused he is at punching the air.

Then Sean gets all sad and sentimental, feeling sorry for himself cause he accidentally bruised his leg. He has no problem sitting on the ground and pouting for a while, hoping that someone will walk past and give him some attention for a while.

If y'all are dating then Sean will tell you over and over again how much you mean to him and how much he loves you. He just wants to cling on to you for the night and make sure you know how loved you are.

Hosea

I hope you're sitting comfortably cause Hosea's gonna tell you every single goddamn story he can think of. Hosea tells you funny stories, sad stories, how he first met John and how he conned rich people. He really likes to reminisce when he's drunk.

Towards the end of the night, Hosea eventually gets quiet and if there's a party at camp where everyone is celebrating, then he goes off by the outskirts for a while.

Hosea likes to sit back and watch as everyone enjoys the night. He can get very sentimental when he does this but he likes to enjoy the little moments of the night and savour it all.

If he’s sweet on you then Hosea makes sure you know how special you are and that you deserve the best. He doesn't necessarily flirt with you but instead wants you to know how great you are.

Sadie

When Sadie drinks, she gets sad. She doesn't mean to get sad but her mind wanders and she thinks a lot about everything that's happened in her life and how she's ended up where she is today.

She doesn't speak a lot and ends up getting stuck in her head with thoughts whirling around and around. It can get overwhelming which is why she isn't that keen on getting completely wasted on alcohol.

She doesn't like how crowded camp can get so instead she likes to go off and find a nice scenic area to rest. Normally that helps calm her mind but Sadie also gets sleepy by then too.

If Sadie likes you and feels comfortable around you then she leans against you as ye both sit there in a peaceful silence. And if you suggest it, then she'll hesitantly rest her head on your lap and fall asleep as you play with her hair.

Kieran

Kieran doesn't get drunk often. He hates waking up the next morning and wondering if he pissed anyone off or said something he shouldn't have.

He's very happy when he's drunk, only seeing the positives in things and always smiling. Kieran is still a little shy but he's more open to being involved with what the gang's doing, whether that be singing along to some songs or dancing with whoever to Dutch's gramophone.  

Because of how involved he can become with the gang when he's drunk, he can get involved in a few fights or arguments. But contrary to popular belief, Kieran doesn't back down and makes sure to get his points across.

Kieran gets more confident after a few drinks and flirts with you more than usual. The more accepting you are to his comments, the more he flirts with you. Though if you flirt back then he gets very flustered.

[elsonambulo]

@macchiatosdumptruck thank you for the prompt; here's some pool hustlers Johnny and Daniel + prompt 41: “You’re going out dressed like that?”

"You're going out dressed like that?"

Daniel looked down at his tight jeans and button up shirt, and then at his boyfriend/partner-in-crime, who was wearing the jeans that made his ass look great and a flannel over a muscle shirt. He raised an eyebrow.

"Like you're one to talk. Bet you won't even have to play; the twinks and college girls are gonna be all over you begging you to be their kept boy for the night."

Johnny snorted and reached out to tug Daniel in. He went easily - this time. Sometimes he liked putting up a fight for the fun of it.

"Don't tell me you're jealous, LaRusso," Johnny said. His smug grin, on the other hand, said, Tell me more and in detail. Daniel ignored both the words and the grin and simply pulled Johnny into a filthy kiss, one that had Johnny pressing him up against a wall in seconds, and if it wasn't for the fact that they didn't have enough for rent this month, Daniel would have let things take their natural course.

As it was, he shoved Johnny away, relishing in the baffled-and-horny-about-it look on his face as he straightened his own clothes out. 

"Something to tide you over," he said, just for something to say. Johnny frowned at him, clearly not thinking about the rent at all because he had such a one-track mind, the big oaf, and ok, maybe Daniel had a one-track mind too, because that frown was really doing it for him. He cleared his throat.

"Come on, I want to get there before my lucky table is taken."

"All the tables are your lucky table when you look like that," Johnny said with a laugh. Daniel preened. It wasn't like he didn't know, wasn't like he hadn't chosen this outfit specifically because it made him look like just the right combination of clueless and cocky, something that made men flock to him, eager to show off, but - still. It was nice to know his preferred, if not necessarily his target, audience noticed.

"Uh huh," he said simply. "Don't jinx us hotshot, the night is still young."

"You're hot when you're all business." Johnny walked out the door, and on it's own the quip would just make him smirk his Johnny smirk, the one that guaranteed him a really good, really rough night, but the bastard also decided to give him a surprise ass grope, and really, the yelp that left him wasn't his fault.

He could see Johnny's shoulders shaking with laughter. Daniel narrowed his eyes. They'd see who was laughing later.

[chalkrevelations]

OK. Moving on, slowly but surely, Episode 2 of Word of Honor.

For anyone only just peeking inside my door, this is a re-watch, so there are SPOILERS not just for this ep, but possibly for the ENTIRE SHOW. Scroll away and come back later if you haven’t seen all 36.5 eps and want to watch it unspoiled.

So, the major thing that hit me during this episode: On re-watch, with context, Wen Kexing’s thirst is now super-complicated by the fact that he thinks he’s recognized the Siji Manor Swift Moving Steps™ from A-Xiang’s throwdown with Zhou Zishu at the end of Ep 1. He gets his confirmation in this ep when he goads ZZS into their first fight, in Chengling’s (badly green-screened) peach-blossom front yard. This complicates the stalking and the flirting, particularly the poetic references WKX uses here to talk about ZZS’s footwork, giving it a level that ZZS (along with the audience, back on our first time watching) simply doesn’t have the context to understand yet. (Well. ZZS not getting all the info that WKX has. That’s the start of a pattern. I mean, at this point, WKX certainly doesn’t owe this random guy a peek into his deepest traumas - EVEN THOUGH it would make things about 10000x less complicated, which is also part of the pattern - but I’m just sayin’. It sure is the start of a pattern.) So ZZS blows off WKX as a PUA asshole with an apparent kink for rough trade with appalling facial hair - just like all of us, as the audience, at this point, were beginning to watch open-mouthed at the speed and intensity of WKX’s thirst for some apparently random dude who he spotted tits out, drinking himself to death in the gutter. Don’t get me wrong, WKX is still thirsty as hell, and he was out to tap that even before he saw the Siji Manor Swift Moving Steps™, but now it’s all mixed up in memories of his shixiong that we won’t see, and ZZS won’t know about, for several more episodes. WKX’s still not sure this is the same guy, but it’s at least an associated guy. So our additional context from later episodes now makes it look like all the stalking isn’t just about having the hots for some rough trade who keeps flashing his collarbones, it’s also about regaining a kind of emotional intimacy that WKX hasn’t had for umpty years of trauma and abuse and killing his way up the ladder. This specific flavor of emotional intimacy isn’t something he can get from A-Xiang, even if she saves his heart – this random drunk dude is triggering some memories (that we won’t see for several more episodes) of feeling protected and cared for, unconditionally, and this guy is literally the only person left in the world who could/can make WKX remember those kinds of feelings. And WKX chases it like he’s starving, because he is. Because anyone in his position would be. Prince Jin will eventually do the same kind of thing to ZZS, grabbing onto him like a drowning man at the only thing he thinks will keep him afloat.

Also, WKX may have had slightly more home training than A-Xiang, but he’s had a lot more – and more recent - grooming by a psychopath. I remember reading somewhere that Zhou Ye talked about how A-Xiang seems slightly off, not quite right in the way she acts, at the beginning of the show, and this was a deliberate acting and directing choice because she was raised in the Ghost Valley, literally doesn’t know how to act right in normal society, and has to learn how as the show goes along. I feel like we see some of that with WKX, too, not just in the hard sell with ZZS, but also in some of his mannerisms and reactions – less so than when he’s playing it up in the Ghost Valley, but still noticeable. I think you can see this in the aftermath of the fight with the ghosts, when both WKX and A-Xiang are watching the reactions from and interactions among ZZS, Chengling and Boat Man, and they both seem kind of ... baffled? Occasionally taken aback? At normal reactions that the other three are having to events. When you set them together in that scene, it’s noticeable, particularly with the way A-Xiang keeps checking in with WKX as if to say, really? This is how humans act? It’s little things that on my first time watching, I initially wrote off to …. not necessarily bad acting, but to overacting, to Gong Jun maybe not being quite settled into WKX’s skin yet, that smoothed out as Gong Jun got more comfortable with the character and with playing off of Zhang Zhehan and seemed more ... natural. NOW, I wonder if this also was deliberate, if this is WKX not being quite settled into a human skin, which smooths out as he gets more comfortable in acting human again and in being around ZZS and Chengling. But meanwhile, he’s like a starving feral dog who’s spotted a piece of meat, and I chose every bit of that metaphor specifically, because psychologically and emotionally, that’s what’s going on, and it’s the way ZZS reacts to him, too.

ZZS is already gun-shy and touch-averse at this point (see the moment he jerks his hand out from under WKX’s hand at 31:20, while they’re both transferring energy to Boat Man) – he just wants to be left alone to die, is that so gd hard? - it’s clearly a trial for him to have to even be around this many nattering idiots. But I also have to think some of the instincts that made him so successful and kept him alive for so long in Tian Chuang have to be screaming at him, every time this rando approaches him, that something is not right about the guy. And even when you’re as suicidal as ZZS is right now, instinctive behavior is hard to overcome, and we see how quickly he steps back away from WKX, at 12:58, when WKX steps close enough to invade his personal bubble. At the same time, everything in WKX is screaming at him to plaster himself to this guy. And so, we set up the constant WKX push, ZZS retreat that we’ll get for several more episodes.

Other thoughts:

Chengling got the spirit I guess, but my lord. He gets beat down and gets his sword took about 5 times in the space of a minute and a half. Good thing his Xiang-jie is there. (Have mentioned how much I love A-Xiang? I just want to be sure everyone knows how much I love A-Xiang. Already. She is a fierce, feral, ray of brightness in every scene she’s in.) Here’s the thing, though – knowing what we know now, I can’t believe not a single one of the Ghosts says “WTF, Amethyst Fiend, why are you making this difficult for us to get the Glazed Armor your zhuren wants us to get our hands on?” They MUST recognize her. Or is this a set-up that the ghosts are in on, to make Chengling and whoever’s with him trust WKX and A-Xiang? But who knew Chengling would even escape? And that seems unnecessarily convoluted when they could just kill him and Boat Man. Did the plan get tweaked when ZZS showed up? If so, I can just imagine what these rank-and-file ghosts are thinking about what WKX wants this kid and this guy alive for, given they don’t know he’s trying to destroy the Ghost Valley – maybe that WKX’s going to do the same thing to Chengling that was done to him by the previous Ghost Valley Master. (Oh. Oh, although - here’s an AU thought – what if ZZS hadn’t turned up at just this particular moment? And what if WKX had intended to kill Chengling, too, along the rest of his family (I mean, presumably this IS what was supposed to happen)? But what if this Ghost Valley Master - whose heart has been fatally compromised by A-Xiang – sees this little soft-hearted soft-eyed dumbass, with his parents and everyone else he knows and loves dead and on fire around him? What if he does end up collecting another kid, at that point? THEN WHAT HAPPENS? Complicated by the fact that WKX’s got emotional skin in the game from jump, in this scenario, but Chengling knows up front about WKX’s part in the Mirror Lake massacre.)

OH MY GOD. I had to watch the same four seconds of footage about five times to try and figure out what’s going on, but there’s a point during the fight with the ghosts when ZZS is still having his Seven Nails Torment Moment, and Boat Man is busy dying, and Chengling is, well, Chengling has been beat down and had his sword took, and meanwhile A-Xiang is dealing with one of the ghosts, and another one’s coming up behind her, getting ready to brain her with his sword. And then at 29:01, it looks like he gets yoinked backward, and he goes crashing through a door, but then there is – I swear to god, y’all – a shot of two walnuts (remember those?) falling on the ground near him, and I guess the implication is that WKX, still hidden in the shadows, knocked him backward by throwing a couple of Walnuts of Death at him? Who knew Wolong’s Famous Nuts were crispy, delicious, and good for self-defense?

Oh, WKX. “Zhou Xu.” It’s so close, isn’t it? So close to “Zhou Zishu.”

Second ZZS/WKX physical fight happens over ZZS insisting that WKX leave Chengling tf alone and stop trying to see his injury. Well, there’s the beginning of another pattern.

[floatingbook]

What are your thoughts on political lesbianism? I personally find it very disturbing and harmful to me as a lesbian who resides in a homophobic country with conversion therapy. I have seen mostly younger lesbian and bi radfems try and speak up against the second wavers. However much we try to explain our plight to polilez women, they fail to have empathy for us actual lesbians and often shame us for it. I do not feel any sense of solidarity with them. It bothers me because there quite a large number of them in the rf community, and insinuating that lesbians can enjoy sex with men will never in my opinion be feminist in any way.

Short answer: I hate it. Just don’t.

My thoughts on ‘political lesbianism’ are of the same kind that women hold for men who pretend that they are women. Women who call themselves ‘lesbians’ because they have decided that they want nothing to do with men and because they think that calling themselves ‘lesbians’ gives them political and oppression points — and not because they are only sexually attracted to women — trivialise and disrespect our experiences. Lesbianism is not a club, just like womanhood is not a club. ‘Political lesbianism’ is a mix of homophobia (because they don’t seem to think that ‘real’ lesbians (read ‘female homosexuals’) exist) and of misogyny (because women just can’t survive without a romantic relationship, so if you’ve sworn off men, then you need to date women, there’s no way you could be celibate).

They are dangerous to lesbians. They trivialise our experiences and our pain by insinuating that our sexuality is nothing but a choice. That we could, at any time, identify out of homophobia (because ‘sexuality is not fixed’). That, as you’ve pointed out, ‘lesbians can enjoy sex with men’, because they did at some point, and now they are ‘lesbians’. Their behaviour opens us up to increased harassment and abuse by men, to continued discussion of our right or even of our existence. It baffles me how they can point out that the current trend of men pretending to be women is nothing but misogyny and harming women, but they don’t see that they are doing the same thing to lesbians. Maybe it’s because they just don’t think we exist; so they are not really hurting anyone.

They lack the understanding that sexuality is not a choice, or that you cannot conflate something that is just a fact (like being a woman, or being a lesbian) with a political choice. For them, a lesbian is someone who’s decided to quit on men, not a female homosexual. Of course they can’t understand or empathise, because their framework is completely skewered. If a het-attracted woman wants to fight patriarchy and misogyny, wants to escape men and not date them, wants to be free from the misogynistic oppression which is overwhelmingly present in heterosexual relationships, there is a solution readily available: celibacy! No need to pretend to be attracted to women/to pretend to be solely attracted to women if you’re a heterosexual or bisexual woman who wants out of relationships with men! Words have meanings, and they are not lesbians! There’s a difference between being a lesbian and being politically active, and pretending that you are something you are not and appropriating the pain and oppression of other women.

We have nothing in common with them except being women and perhaps hating men (but some lesbians are simply indifferent to men). Given their behaviour, and how they are setting us back in terms of understanding and respect and rights, I don’t feel any sense of solidarity either. To be quite honest, I’m terribly angry about it. I expect nothing positive of men, so when encountering misogyny or lesbophobia from them, I am not really disappointed. But for that kind of hate and disrespect and trivialisation and violence (because we already have to live with so much homophobia, their behaviour is plain twisting the knife in the wound) to come from women? And women who call themselves ‘feminists’ as that? Heart-breaking. We can just never catch a break.

And I’m writing this from an ok country in terms of lesbian right and homophobia. Homophobia is (normally) punished by law here, I could marry a woman if I wanted to. I only have to face the ordinary, entrenched, traditional homophobia (read the enduring fear that I might be abused because I’m a lesbian, the persisting stereotypes about us, and the whole you’ll-burn-in-hell shtick, the invisibilisation). So I can only imagine what your distress must be seeing women, who should care about us like sisters, act so. The only responses we can have in the face of this are: stay secure in the fact that we are wonderful as we are, that there is nothing wrong about being a lesbian and that being a lesbian is nothing more (but also nothing less) than being an homosexual woman; and (not necessarily every time we come across their rhetoric, because as it should not be women’s job to make men into better people to fight misogyny, it should not be our burden to make other women see us as human beings) point out their nonsense when we see it, not necessarily for their benefit but to remind bystanders that being a lesbian is a sexuality, not a choice.

Honestly, I’m not surprised that the ‘radfem’ community is so full of them or of lesbophobic women. Despite its name, there’s a lack of will to go to the bottom of things and to examine long-held bias. No wonder that homophobia is so pervasive, as it is everywhere else. Lesbians are not the majority here. We’re often either an afterthought — because everybody knows that by not engaging in romantic relationships with men, we’ve never been subjected to misogyny — or plain hated — because we point out their blindspot when it comes to participating and propping up the current woman-hating, lesbophobic system.

On another note, I don’t think we should call it ‘political lesbianism’ or them ‘polilez’ so easily. It’s letting them off the hook when they are not lesbians and when the whole thing is not lesbianism (which is our lived experience as lesbians, our sexuality). What they are doing is appropriation of lesbian terms and erasure of our experiences. Lesbianism is a sexuality, not a political stance or a political choice.   

[cruisercrusher]

i totally wanna hear what you have to say abt rebels!! personally im a big fan and ive never seen anyone specifically not like the show so im interested in ur thoughts !!

Ok please keep in mind I do not at all pretend to be unbiased because clone wars is my most favourite thing ever so every Star Wars thing ever gets compared to clone wars it’s like my thing

The core of why I’m not fond of rebels is because to me none of it felt impactful. I’ve actually watched I think 3 out of the 4 seasons, because my d*d made us all watch it as a “family” and imma be real with you chief. Years down the line I struggled to remember the main characters names. Almost none of it actually stuck with me in any meaningful way, someone will mention something that happened in an episode I did watch and I’ll be like damn i have no recollection???? But also like having gone back and taken a second and third look at the show I’ve gotten the impression that even within the show nothing has that much impact, maybe the last season is different idk but it feels very one note to me and at times shallow in the story telling. Nothing sticks, because the characters retain a degree of staticity throughout what I’ve seen, and Disney very clearly had a set formula laid out for how the episodes/arcs would go that left little room for the ballsy storytelling and character development we got from clone wars.

It’s a little disappointing because I think there were things in rebels that had a lot of potential, rebels as a whole had a lot of potential but Disney really put a stranglehold on Dave Filoni and the rest of the creative teams creative ability.

That being said, I really don’t like the animation either. Like, really don’t like it. I feel like it lacks depth and texture, and I don’t like a lot of the character designs, and the backgrounds are a little flat, and the way the characters move is weird to me. They’re just a tad too fluid and a touch too expressive that for me it reads as very uncanny valley, it actually took me out of it sometimes.

(Also the human skin tones all looked kinda off to me I was like I don’t think that’s the right undertone babes that’s too much yellow. Too much yellow babe)

As well as the fact that the animation stayed pretty much exactly the same throughout the series, and had none of the actual real innovation and groundbreaking animation that the clone wars had.

Going back to the story telling, and again, this is Disney’s fault, there were a lot of missed opportunities for them to go really hard. There were a lot of lessons in clone wars (like always question authority, and Capitalism Bad, and War is Futile, and sometimes the people who are supposed to be the good guys aren’t necessarily very good) that Disney is just straight up afraid of. Like clone wars really had a lot of more left leaning themes that is simply too much for the conservative, one percenter, trump supporting Disney executives and shareholders.

An example of this I feel would be when they introduced the clones. If I could have I would have done that arc very differently. And don’t get me wrong, I loved seeing grandpa Rex! But the way those episodes were executed felt a little. Dissatisfying? Maybe not quite disrespectful, but then again imo the story of the clones is THE MOST tragic one in all of Star Wars and those episodes had an element of levity to them that I don’t think fit. That arc could have been really deep and somber (and they could have done at least a little to acknowledge the rampant ptsd the clones must have, especially Wolffe who shot down his general and father figure against his will) yet the script didn’t really do those characters justice at all.

Also, I would have written Sabine’s character very differently. For one, I would have made her at least twenty, because with everything I know about it her it’s baffling that she’s supposedly only like sixteen. Makes zero sense. I don’t get it. Also I would make her a butch lesbian. Like a total mean dyke. We need more of those and I think Sabine could have mean dyke potential.

Now. The inquisitors. Dear lord. Again, could have been really cool, but tHOSE SPINNY LIGHTSABERS DRIVE ME INSANE HOW DO YOU FLY WITH THOSE IT SHDHJSJFJD FORGET THATS NOT HOW THE FORCE WORKS, THATS NOT HOW PHYSICS WORKS!!!!

Barbie life in the dream house had better animation because they were actually supposed to look plastic. Also, rebels yoda haunts my nightmares.

And I specifically don’t like Ahsoka’s character design either. I like her outfit but she looks less like Ahsoka to me and more like Ahsoka’s cousin. Her skull is a different shape. Why is it a different shape? Did she have jaw transplant surgery? Where is the consistency. We literally see an older version of Ahsoka during the mortis arc and she actually looks like herself (and looks really cool!) but Rebels Ahsoka looks nothing like that? I don’t understand. It makes my brain hurt to think about it

Alright, I’ve said a lot of negative things, so here’s a positive: I really appreciate Chopper. I just love chaotic astromech droids who feel nothing but unbridled bloodlust at all times. It is so funny. I appreciate him

And, bearing in mind I haven’t seen the whole episode (because I don’t want to) mostly just gift sets and clips, but the episode where Maul finally finds Obi-Wan on tatooine and they have their final duel?? Very cool concept, lots of potential, I just wish the lightsabers weren’t so SKINNY WHY ARE THEY SO SKINNYYYYYYY

I think that’s about everything? Barring the fact that for the longest damn time I thought none of the characters had fingernails because I mistook Ezra’s layered gloves for fingerless gloves and thought he didn’t have fingernails and that freaked me out? Yeah I think that’s about all my thoughts. I tried to have as little blantantly comparing to clone wars as I could because that’s not exactly fair, of course rebels was never going to be on the same level as clone wars. When it comes to well done cartoons I think it’s like. Way up at the top tier is Atla then clone wars in second place, and then literally everything else is wayyyy below it because that’s just how it is tbh. Anyways hope this satiated your curiosity!

[jimlingss]

pt.2 of yesterday

I don’t want to flood people’s dashes, so hopefully answering your messages here will suffice!

anonymous asked: Hi! I wanted to tell you how much I love your work and how you make me enjoy every Monday thanks to your regular updates ! I saw a previous anon telling you how your writings lacks of emotion and I totally disagree with them... obviously everybody won’t like it but your stories just DON’T lack of love or emotion this is madness I want to thank you for publishing your amazing stories freely here for everyone to read. (Sorry if my English is weird I’m french ejfjekfjd)

“this is madness” LOL

You’re hilarious, anon. And your english is perfectly fine!!!

anonymous asked: Hello! Im the culinary student anon who sent you an ask a while ago and i saw you received an ask about the lack of emotion from your stories. I read kitchen romance and i actually really really like it and don’t quite understand how it lacks in emotions as I interpreted the stories more like the beginning of the oc and jin’s love story and they are only starting to open up to each other so i guess thats why anon might feel like it lacks romantic vibe from both of the characters. (1)

Anonymous said: Just want to tell you that you’re one of the best writer and ive been following you for 2/3 years now, you never failed to amaze me with your writings!! All your stories are so well written that i sometimes wonder how do you come up with such an amazing plot every single time and your stories are always nice to re-read and the effort you pour into creating your stories is also admirable (2)

while i was reading kitchen romance and ive only started s&c (currently on chapter 4) i can say that its pretty similar with how it is irl (and the part where we find out jk is an iu fans reminded me of my ex-crush whose also a culinary student, i would like to tell you a story about it but ill just waste your time lol) , just want to send you a few encouragement and love for you and your writings *sending virtual hugs* (3) -👩🏻‍🍳anon

You’re too kind, thank you (and also, welcome back!). I’ll be frank, there was a hot second I was considering taking down Kitchen Romance but I didn’t cause I don’t want my efforts of editing it to go to waste asdfghjkl. I can’t believe you’ve been sticking around me for so long :’) it’s always nice to know some folks stay. Anyway, I’m glad that Sugar and Coffee is pretty similar to how it works irl since I tried my best to do research. I definitely love a good storytime as well so don’t worry about wasting my time :>

Anonymous said: a good majority of your fics display an unfathomable amount of DEPTH. regarding character development. plot. even the shortest lines of dialogue reveal so much more to the character and unveil their true emotions. i personally think the more REALISTIC side of love may be perceived as 'bland.' ‘emotionless.’ whatever you want to call it. nothing’s wrong with portraying a relationship that isn’t overboard with a whole lot of tooth aching fluff or lowkey annoying pda. +1

Anonymous said: there’s nothing wrong with taking out a bit of emotion to fit the PERSONALITIES of the characters. some people out there don’t necessarily feel a lot of emotions. so it’s honestly not really a mistake if a story lacks it (unless it was unintentional). subtlety is an art that is hard to master, but you’ve done it! and to respond to the anon, sometimes, if you skim through a fic without reading every word the author intended for you to read, +2

Anonymous said: then it’s quite common to not feel the full extent of the emotions you were supposed to feel. just a thought but no hate. we’re all entitled to our opinions. but besides that, kina, you write on a vast scale ranging from hardcore angst to diabetes-inducing fluff. and you do it beautifully. sure there are some stories that are better than others, but i believe a LOT of it comes down to personal preference and taste. +3

Anonymous said: even if you are feeling creatively limited, you work hard to continue writing for your readers, and your determination and diligence wILL NOT GO UNNOTICED. i just want you to know that you write amazingly. your syntax is practically immaculate, your characters feel real… the endings of your stories always wrap something up and the strings are tied—even if it isn’t necessarily a happy ending. you can convey hundreds of different characters through WORDS. +4

Anonymous said: i’ll have you know that it’s hard to write. it’s even harder to write about people who aren’t YOU. so as someone who looks up to you a lot, i want to commend you for your writing. some of your fics that i read on a monthly basis: tears of a villain, a piece of the moonlight, head over heels to hell, ghost in the machine, a mark of betrayal, a kiss of poison, until yesterday, the truth between us and arcadia. +5

Anonymous said: to be fair, there were way more fics but i didn’t want to make this message any longer than it already is LOL. i find these pieces wonderful. heart wrenching. and SO DAMN EMOTIONAL IT PLAGUES MY MIND FOR DAYS. also you’re literally one of the few fucking people who can use the em dash correctly. thank you so much for sharing your talent with us! +6

Oh my goodness. I don’t even know what to say, anon. This is a whole damn thesis and it’s about my fics :’> You know, it’s easy to brush off fanfiction as a ‘whatever’ thing and indeed, it isn’t that big of a deal compared to some things in the world. But I really do take all my stories seriously and put forth a lot of effort - so to see it recognized and appreciated it makes me beyond happy. It’s good to know that my efforts haven’t gone to waste at all and that there are people out there who will support me no matter the endeavours I take. Thank you so much. You don’t know how much this means to me.

((Also, honestly I picked up the em dash usage after I wrote The Truth Between Us with gukyi who used it. I’m pretty sure I’m not using it right but to hear that I am, god damn that’s a breath of relief right there))

backtobleuside submitted: Are you kidding me!? Your stories don’t lack love at all. They’re the kind of fics that you read, soak it all in and then come back for more. I’ve cried so much when I read Beyond reach, Boo-lieve in me, A piece of the moonlight, His name, Tell me lies etc. etc, and also laughed and felt the emotions of not just the OC, but also the other characters. Kitchen Romance was also so fluffy and sweet and personally, I don’t think that anything needs to be added to it. Anyway, your fics do not lack emotion—you’re probably the first author I send a message to because your stories impacted me a lot and left a strong impression on me. I even imagine your characters as real people who have real lives that continue on even after the story is done.

asdfghjkl thank you :’) I see you every week and sometimes several times at that. I really appreciate your consistent feedback and following. You never fail to send me a message too which I appreciate a lot. I’m glad you’re enjoying everything I’m producing!!

youngfleurever said: Would just like to say that your fics do in fact make me violently sob to the boy where my eyes are so swollen I have trouble opening them the next day and I wake up feeling like there’s sawdust in my mouth because I’m dehydrated.

oh my god. please keep yourself hydrated hahahahhaha more importantly, how do you know what sawdust in your mouth is like. WHAT have you been doing LOL

Anonymous said: I’ve felt emotions that I’ve never felt before when I read your fics.... so as a person that has read your entire masterlist, I DO NOT think that your fics lack emotion.... I hope you don’t feel disheartened because you’re one of my favourite writers, not just on tumblr but like, evER 💓💓💓💓💓💓

Please, even if I was disheartened, the overwhelming amount of feedback and praise has completely overridden it :’)

joonie-mono said: when tumblr deletes the first part of your ask 🙄😌✌️

LOOOOOOOL

haylo4ever said: Sorry had to add my 10 cents. You're such a talented writer,,, I WISH I could write a smol smol 1/1000000000 that you write,,, like I remember when I followed you bc I was in awe of your writing.... I mean?? Sure maybe not every fic hits it with someone but it's just ridic to name drop (a friend nonetheless) when you're all extremely talented writers.

Trust me, writing comes with practice!! I should honestly just tattoo that on me. God knows my first fanfic was absolutely GARBAGE. I didn’t know pacing, didn’t know that I should separate chunks of paragraphs, how to write dialogue or describe scenes properly. I went in blind. Even my second, third and fourth fanfic was garbage. You could definitely get to “my level” or even far surpass it with enough dedication and practice. I mean I’ve been writing for four years, so thank GOD there’s been improvement. I wouldn’t be natural if there wasn’t. But clearly the more you practice, the better you improve! That applies to anything.

The me in ten years will certainly be better now.

Anonymous said: Hi kina! I’m here in support of kitchen romance! I actually didn’t feel like it was missing a ton of fluffy moments (and I say that as a huGE LOVER OF FLUFF) but the story was just as entertaining in the whole chase of them getting closer to each other! It’s honestly one of my favorite one shots I’ve read lately and I’m not saying that lightly! Also, that anon that said your work lacks emotion has probably not read like half of your masterlist bc oO MAN QUEEN OF MAKING ME CRY- black heart anon🖤

Thank you :’]

Anonymous said: Ok I’m very offended wow the audacity!Specially coming for my baby kitchen romance like that story made me feel so much and it’s only one of the many fics you have written kina like I’m literally baffled like dynasty has made me cry scream happy and hot all at the same time and I was literally just thinking about it that whole weekend and this anon has the nerve to say your stories lack emotions?When you are literally the queen of show casing all types of emotions in your stories!You did it all

Anonymous said: Also 😭😭😭😂😂😩hoooooooow and whereeee did they see any lack of love and emotions like have you read jungle park???? Inside my mind??? FREAKING SUGAR AND COFFEE (like this fic is made with love and I- ) Actually you know what , just read the whole masterlist😩😩💗💗💗

LOL tbh I didn’t expect Dynasty to receive the love it has. I was actually kind of wary when posting it cause it’s kind of Wild. 

bangtans-peaceful-piegon said: just gotta say u handled that whole anon thing so well which not only makes me admire u as a writer but even more as a person :] (i mean i knew u were gr8 before the whole deal but yeah love ya 💛)

tbh, I’m not sure how well I handled it cause I was flooded with over 30 messages afterwards (evidently) ;_; which I love and appreciate but I’m not really as hurt as some people think hahaha criticism should be received well but it’s still hard not to take personally tbh. It’s gonna have to be something I work on or perhaps it’ll be one of those things that I’ll take better with age.

[f4liveblogarchives]

Fantastic Four Vol 1 #187, #188, & #189

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:04 PM] Bocaj: 187 issues later, still fantastic but not necessarily still four [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Eh, they're still pretty Fourish [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Unless you count Franklin I guess [02:05 PM] Wack'd: Sure, Thundra, Greer, and Impy have been around a lot lately, but Greer insists she's not part of the team and Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others [02:06 PM] maxwellelvis: Also, Impossible Man's been KO'd by an unseen assailant. [02:06 PM] Wack'd: Also true [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Anyway, on the plane ride back from New Salem, the team recaps a little [02:07 PM] Wack'd: Agatha left that place in the hopes that others have her kind would be encouraged to join her, and she blames herself for raising Nicholas badly [02:07 PM] Wack'd: These are, again, the kind of details it might've been nice to have during the actual story so we could wring something out of them [02:08 PM] Bocaj: "Thundra and Impy don't really play well with others" I posit that Johnny and Ben historically haven't always played well with others [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Sometimes a family is that cat woman stray you adopted, the woman from an alternate universe where men are considered the weaker gender until you slammed her universe into another, and that annoying alien [02:09 PM] Bocaj: We'll call him the 'urkel' type [02:09 PM] Wack'd: Let me rephrase that to "are openly contemptuous of others and seem hesitant to do even the bare minimum to lend aid" [02:09 PM] maxwellelvis: Yeah, but in a different way from Impossible Man, who literally nobody except other Popuppians can stand to be around. [02:09 PM] Bocaj: Ok well thats different [02:10 PM] Wack'd: The Four discover Impy, knocked out but apparently unharmed. Sue worries that whoever did this might still be in the Baxter [02:11 PM] Wack'd: We can also add to George Pérez to the long list of comics artists who are bad at drawing children but very good at drawing tiny adults

[02:12 PM] Bocaj: George Pérez can draw a lot of things, in terms of range and also in terms of numerical things on a page but children are black magic that eludes him [02:13 PM] Aleph Null: i relate because children are also black magic that eludes me [02:13 PM] Wack'd: So Johnny flies outside to look in all the windows while Ben decides to go floor by floor. Reed is out out because they made a plan without him and Sue has to heal his fragile ego [02:13 PM] Wack'd: “Without my stretching powers, I'm not really good enough to be anything more than a nursemaid!” [02:13 PM] Bocaj: fuck off reed [02:14 PM] Aleph Null: can we retitle the blog to “fuck off reed” [02:14 PM] Wack'd: This is a nice moment

[02:15 PM] Wack'd: Honestly I like how forgiving everyone is being of Agatha. Not that anyone on this team has room to throw stones [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Oh my god Johnny is also like "man, running off on my own like I always do probably hurt Reed's feelings" [02:16 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben runs into KLAW! [02:17 PM] Bocaj: Ulysses Klaue Klaw? [02:17 PM] Wack'd: Whose shtick at this point is still being made of sound and also being able to fire sound monsters at people [02:17 PM] Wack'd: And not, you know, having a claw [02:17 PM] maxwellelvis: His artificial hand is his claw. [02:19 PM] Wack'd: Oh hey it's this guy

[02:19 PM] Bocaj: oh thats a bad look [02:20 PM] maxwellelvis: Actually that's not that guy. That's a different guy. [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Back in #20 he got the ability to alter non-organic matter because he was exposed to an atomic incident [02:20 PM] Wack'd: Since then he's had a couple of appearances in the 70s, one in Two in One and one in Iron Man [02:20 PM] Bocaj: The guy I knew as Molecule Man is a multiversal bomb [02:21 PM] maxwellelvis: Wait, I saw that guy shrivel up and disintegrate when separated from his wand for too long. [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Yes [02:22 PM] Wack'd: This got undone in the Iron Man appearance I mentioned [02:22 PM] maxwellelvis: oh [02:22 PM] Wack'd: Where he also gained the ability to possess people [02:23 PM] Bocaj: There was a shitty Avengers Assemble episode about Son of Molecule Man [02:23 PM] Bocaj: It had a stylistic flashback to EMH [02:23 PM] Wack'd: Given how fucking often these books are like "oh, they killed him, he's gone for real" and then in a completely different book he comes back to life and then he returns to his original book with a long winded explanation... [02:23 PM] Wack'd: I'm not sure why you would've assumed that he was actually dead [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Because this time he left behind a body. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: That doesn't mean anything! [02:24 PM] maxwellelvis: Well, a pile of dust in a ragged old Molecule Man costume. [02:24 PM] Wack'd: At the end of his first appearance the Watcher aged him into oblivion [02:26 PM] Wack'd: Agatha filling the role of "lady who tells Reed to suck it the fuck up" now that Medusa's gone

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Anyway Ben gets turned into glass, Johnny is drowned in midair, Sue is...uh...

[02:28 PM] Wack'd: Sure, that's how that works [02:29 PM] Wack'd: And Reed tries to fire on the two but his gun is turned to helium and he's knocked out [02:30 PM] Wack'd: Okay so uh [02:31 PM] Wack'd: In the aftermath of that Iron Man I mentioned, Klaw found Owen's wand, with Owen's mind trapped inside, and gave it to a guy he met on the street so Owen would possess that guy [02:31 PM] Wack'd: The narrative notes that the guy was a boxer so I should probably also note that the guy was a boxer in case it becomes relevant [02:33 PM] Wack'd: So! The Four are incapacitated! Who cam save them now! [02:33 PM] Wack'd: Why, Impossible Man, of course. Not because he cares about the team, but because he's angry that someone defeated him in combat [02:34 PM] Wack'd: Impy can shapeshift so Molecule Man can't really do much to him [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And Impy removes his ears and makes himself into a non-sound-conductive material so he's immune to Klaw [02:34 PM] Wack'd: And then he kicks their asses [02:35 PM] Wack'd: Owen had been planning on using Reed's psi-amplifier (from that time Ben and Hulk switched brains) to make it so he could keep his ass in this body forever [02:35 PM] Wack'd: But Reed manages to cut the cord mid-process, sapping Owen back into his wand [02:36 PM] Wack'd: And undoing all the damage he caused [02:36 PM] Wack'd: AND THEN REED PICKS UP THE WAND WITH HIS BARE HANDS, LIKE AN IDIOT [02:37 PM] Wack'd: W E L P

[02:38 PM] Bocaj: Basically Lunella becoming Smartest was long overdue because Reed is dumb [02:38 PM] Bocaj: Someone needed to explicitly be smarter than him or else it would be very sad [02:39 PM] Wack'd: Don't think it's escaped my attention that this is our second evil Reed storyline in which Reed isn't actually evil [02:39 PM] Bocaj: Hm [02:40 PM] Bocaj: At least it’s not an evil Sue storyline [02:40 PM] Bocaj: Those are bad in many many ways [02:40 PM] Wack'd: If Gerry Conway's read on the Reed/Sue divorce arc was "if they're going to split up it should be because Reed does something truly ghastly", it seems like Wein's was "people seem to really want to make Reed a jerk, so how do I do that without altering the fact that he's genuinely a nice person" [02:42 PM] Wack'd: I loathed Conway's take, but Wein's is even worse because it denies the idea that Reed has anything to be culpable for. It seems like people have been shilling him constantly recently--Sue noticing Counter-Reed is unaffectionate to spot the ruse, Ben assuming Counter-Reed is obsessively watching the Negative Zone because he wants to save his counterpart, Counter-Reed immediately becoming a selfless paragon when his headache wears off [02:43 PM] Wack'd: And this issue, too, with everyone but Agatha assuming Reed is entitled to authority and feeling bad for hurting his feelings by doing their own things [02:44 PM] Wack'd: Maybe I'm being uncharitable because he's the cripple-the-b**** guy, but it does really seem like he sees nothing wrong with Reed's normal pattern of behavior and is mildly baffled anyone would. Which would fit well with his aesthetic of overwhelming nostalgia [02:45 PM] Wack'd: Anyway

Thur Aug 22 2019 [02:46 PM] Wack'd: So Reed's brain is trapped in Owen's wand now [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Ben destroys the Psi-Amplifier so Owen can't take over Reed's body permanently [02:47 PM] Wack'd: Owen, in retaliation, traps Sue, Johnny, Ben and Impy in an adimantium cube [02:48 PM] Wack'd: While he goes to blow off some adimantium rage [02:48 PM] maxwellelvis: Spider-Man and Venom ~ Maximum Carnage (Genesis) - Main Theme [02:49 PM] Wack'd: Johnny uses his heat to expand the air in the box, forcing it open, but it takes basically everything he's got [02:49 PM] Wack'd: You would think everybody in that box would die a million times of heat stroke but I guess not [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: I was about to question the presence of Adamantium in an FF story, then I remembered that A. it's past 1975 now so Wolverine is a thing, and B. Len Wein is one of Wolverine's co-creators. [02:50 PM] maxwellelvis: And I think he first coined "Adamantium" to describe what his claws are made of. [02:51 PM] Wack'd: Watcher has gone from a white Grey to a fat bald guy to a Tor Johnson character

[02:53 PM] Wack'd: Watcher is still not talking, which Ben takes as a sign of apathy [02:53 PM] Wack'd: "Why don't you go to sell tickets to a funeral," he asks [02:54 PM] Wack'd: Ah yes, my favorite Tom Hanks movie

[02:55 PM] maxwellelvis: "You should make'em bugs!" [02:58 PM] Wack'd: Credit where it's due, I think this is genuinely the coolest monster design we've had in a while! You can see some remnants of the Kirby aping that still, in 1977, has not worn off, but it feels novel applied to brick and mortar, and I love the arrangements of the windows and the way the structures on the roof jut out of it's shoulders

[02:59 PM] Wack'd: Reed agrees to stop resisting, and the building returns to normal [02:59 PM] Wack'd: And then his friends show up and Reed starts resisting again [03:00 PM] Wack'd: Thanks to that resistance, Owen can't do anything to our heroes directly, and has to settle for transforming their surroundings [03:00 PM] Wack'd: This would be a lot simpler if they just kept the "no organic matter" limit from his first appearance [03:01 PM] maxwellelvis: Blame Steve Gerber, I guess. [03:01 PM] Wack'd: Impy tries to hit Owen with a giant mallet but Sue stops him because she doesn't want to hurt Reed [03:02 PM] Wack'd: Impy takes it well

[03:05 PM] Wack'd: Unfortunately, Reed's body gets knocked out anyway [03:06 PM] Wack'd: But while this renders the Reed inside of Owen's wand unconscious, it sends Owen into spasms of pain [03:06 PM] Wack'd: Causing him to release his grip on the wand, dropping it into a nearby factory furnace [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And so normalcy is restored--OR IS IT?! [03:07 PM] Wack'd: Reed's decided to resign from the Four [03:07 PM] Wack'd: And Sue's going to join him because "I already deserted my husband once, I'm not going to do it again" [03:07 PM] Wack'd: *sigh* [03:08 PM] Bocaj: 😐

Thur Aug 22 2019 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: FANTASTIC FOUR VOL 1 #189 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Is a reprint of Annual ’66 [03:10 PM] Wack'd: Moving on [03:10 PM] Wack'd: As if there weren't enough reasons to hate Wein, it certainly seems like a lot of issues get delayed while he's around [03:11 PM] Wack'd: This is the second in less than ten issues [03:11 PM] maxwellelvis: That might explain why Chris Claremont took over Uncanny X-Men almost immediately after Wein revived it

[forasecondtherewedwon]

35 for the spideychelle prompts?

Two prompts. Two anons. One perfect match. Enjoy, you two!

ApocalypschtickPairing: Peter Parker x Michelle Jones (Spideychelle)Rating: T (mentions of gun violence)Word count: 1322

35. “If a zombie bit you, I’d be heartbroken, but I’d also shoot you twice in the head.”

Ned and MJ don’t have a ton of overlapping interests,Peter’s been finding. Mostly, they’ve had himin common, which is a nice feeling, but has made extended hangoutshit-and-miss; there’s nothing but dead air for his super-hearing to pick up ifhe leaves the two of them alone in a room. He’s worked at tossing increasinglyobscure topics into conversation when the three of them are together―arcingthem in like long tennis serves―just to see if there’s any subject they bothjump on. The most obvious result is Peter finding some weird stuff onWikipedia.

In hindsight, the thing they end up bonding over is one hereally should have predicted. MJ loves death―true crime, film noir,Shakespearean tragedies. Ned loves science fiction―Star Wars, books by H.G. Wells, ALF.Apparently, in between death and sci-fi lies the common ground of apocalypsetheories.

Seeing as they both know all about the insanity Peter wentthrough in space (and then the entire universe went through during the Blip), alot of time is devoted to alien-specific doomsday predictions.

This is all happening in one night, by the way. From Ned andMJ’s sudden eye-lock of camaraderie to their ongoing discussion on bunkers(pros and cons). Peter’s sitting between them watching Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. He just discovered a week ago thatthere are really old Star Trek moviesand before that, get this, a TVseries. Anyway, all he’s really getting out of the experience is that Khanlooks like he could be in a hair metal band. Peter finally has to leave theroom for a few minutes when Ned starts gathering May’s knickknacks from aroundthe room as visual aids for the disagreement he’s currently having with MJ.

He goes to the kitchen and pops two bags of popcorn; there’sa close call when he almost throws both bags into the microwave at once. Thesymphony of buttery explosions is Peter’s white noise to drown out theconversation in the other room. Maybe all the alien talk should make himuncomfortable or even depressed after his less-than-stellar (no pun intended)trip to space, but honestly, it’s just kind of boring. Why get so hung up onthe end of the world? That part sucks. The world existing is what’s awesome. Growing and aging and living. Goingfrom Regular Peter to Spider-Man Peter to Peter-with-a-girlfriend.

Peter upends both bags of popcorn into one massive bowl,then bangs the door of the microwave open and closed a few times, trying to useup extra seconds. He goes back to his friends.

“There’s a moral imperative,” Ned’s saying forcefully.

“That’s what I’m saying,” MJ shoots back, jabbing a fingerinto the couch cushion between them. Peter stands in the doorway, arms wrappedaround the popcorn bowl. “Of course there’s a moral imperative, but which waydoes it go?”

“Obviously,” Ned starts, “it’s in favour of your friends andloved ones. Being loyal, protecting them until a cure is found.”

“But that isn’t moral at all,” she argues. “It’s theapocalypse, Ned. You can’t live on those ‘what ifs,’ you have to be morerealistic. Morally, you do what it takes to guarantee the survival of thegreatest number of people, even if it means sacrificing someone you careabout.”

“But what kind of people are we if we so readily betray―ohhey, Peter.”

Ned gives him a grin, untroubled by the confusion Peter canfeel pretty clearly on his own face.

“Doesn’t sound like you’re talking about bunkers anymore,”he ventures, circling the couch and dropping down between his best friend andhis girlfriend. “What’s goin’ on? Brief summary.”

“The ethics of a zombie apocalypse,” MJ says.

Peter waits for a moment, but she just reaches for a handfulof popcorn.

“Ok,” he encourages, “a little less brief.”

“Well,” Ned offers, making Peter turn in his direction,“we’ve more or less agreed to disagree. I personally have come to theconclusion that hope and one’s innate sense of humanity are inextricably tiedto continuing to treat your family as your family even if they join the leaguesof the undead, whereas MJ…”

When he trails off and fills his mouth with popcorn insteadof words, Peter shifts back to face his girlfriend, who shrugs nonchalantly.

“If a zombie bit you, I’d be heartbroken, but I’d also shootyou twice in the head.”

“Oh.”

“Wouldn’t you shoot me in the head if I was going to turninto a zombie?” she asks.

“Uhhh…”

“Dude, don’t answer that,” Ned recommends. “You don’t sayyou’d shoot your girlfriend in the head. Not under any circumstance.”

“Ok, but,” MJsays, getting back into the discussion and bracing her hand on Peter’s knee tolean around him and speak to Ned, “what if being shot in the head is what yourloved one would want? Then, you have a whole other consideration to make, vis-à-vis moral imperative.”

“Obviously, it’s a lot easier to say, ‘hey, if I get bit bya zombie, shoot me in the head,’ ahead of time when you don’t necessarily knowthat’s going to happen. Once it’s happening, can’t you change your mind?”

MJ narrows her eyes thoughtfully. Peter eats more popcorn.Khan the hair metal bad guy says some stuff in the background.

“You mean during the short period between getting bit andthe infection taking hold?”

“Right,” Ned agrees. “When you’re essentially still you,before the desire for brains kicks in.”

“What do you think, Peter?” his girlfriend asks, suddenlylooking at him.

“I’ve never fought a zombie,” he says uncertainly.

She rolls her eyes.

“But you have been in combat. In stressful situations.”

“Yeah,” his best friend chimes in. “Do you think dangerinfluences your sense of self to the point where you wouldn’t want a decisionyou make then to have an effect on your life outside of that situation, or areyou basically still capable of making even critical choices in the same wayyou’d make them while safe?”

“Uh,” Peter starts, gaze roaming around the room, “sometimesI make better choices during a fight than anything I could plan in advance?”His voice goes up not because he doubts what he’s saying, but because he’s notcertain he’s actually answering the question, which has thoroughly confoundedhim.

“Hmm,” MJ says, eyes squinting seriously when he looks ather. “Good point. So maybe only experience can inform sound decision-making.”

“But that contradicts the efforts of preparing for anapocalypse!” Ned yelps. “If you just accept that you can only figure out whatto do once the bad thing is happening, I mean… wouldn’t that be stressful? Notplanning ahead?”

“I never plan ahead,” is the contribution Peter mumbles out,continuing to be confused.

“The alternative is that spontaneity may be the key tohappiness in the apocalypse,” MJ debates with a shrug. She chews some popcorn.

“Happiness,” Ned says wonderingly. It freaks Peter out. “Notjust survival.”

MJ leans across Peter’s lap again to make her final point.

“Carpe. Diem,” she says slowly.

“Wow,” Ned breathes.

Peter glances from him to MJ and back.

“I’m going for a swing,” he says, jerking his thumb towardshis bedroom, where his Spidey suit is folded in a drawer. “Couple laps of theblock maybe.”

“Take your time,” MJ says, unconcerned.

“Dinosaurs,” Ned says with a sudden spark. “If they reallyfound a way to bring them back, like JurassicPark…”

Peter shifts the bowl of popcorn from his lap to Ned’s,realizing the comment is not directed at him. With a shake of his head, he goesto his room and changes into the suit, then glances into the living room again.MJ and Ned are deep in discussion. He wonders if they realize they’re theguests and their host is leaving them in his(and May’s) apartment. Peter, baffled, snorts a laugh and climbs out hisbedroom window.

[willidleaway]

Doctor Who, series 12, episodes 1 and 2

In short: I love two-parters and I’m glad Spyfall was a two-parter. The conclusion wasn’t entirely satisfying, parts of this felt like a retread of old favourite story elements (including from The Curse of Fatal Death—seriously!), and I think there was a bit of disjointness between the two parts, but this is still a very good start to series 12, and I’m 90% sure I’m not saying that just because he’s back.

In slightly less short, still without spoilers:

—Positives: good tension throughout part 1, including the cliffhanger (hangar?); loved seeing historical characters tag along and interact in part 2, in one of the better attempts of Chibnall!Who at being educational; strong performances all around from heroes and villains.

—Negatives: part 2 has me fearing for a regression from some of the positive aspects of series 11; the villains weren't really fleshed out enough, especially in their motivation.

Verdict: Go watch Doctor Who and the Curse of Fatal Death. It’s quite funny.

Oh, you mean about this two-parter? It’s good. Could have been great, though—almost should have been with its set pieces—and it didn’t strike me as great.

In less short, with spoilers:

OK, so I don’t even have much to say about part 1 because it really is all setup. We’ve got weird higher-dimensional ghosty things, they’re attacking spies all around the world and swapping their DNA out with something else, except they either won’t or can’t attack Yas and send her instead to some weird alternate dimension. Yas and Ryan go off to find out that Google are involved [0] in some sinister fashion because their CEO is totally in league with the aliens and is himself 7% alien, but it turns out the real mastermind is ... the Master! Dun dun dun. Very much the Dark Water reveal, right down to the gender swap.

So at the end of part 1, the situation is that the Doctor is in the same realm that Yas had ended up in, and her companions are in a crashing plane. So how is this all resolved?

Well, the second one is easy. It’s a time travel show. Do the Blink gambit! [1] Just go back in time after everything’s done, plant some signs and a recording on the plane, and they can land completely unscathed! In Essex! (I’d say ‘unscathed/Essex: pick one’, but obviously Graham feels differently.)

This is fine, but ultimately the companions don’t ... do much from there? It’s the series 3 finale thing again where they’ve got to go off-grid, except in series 3 where Martha is planting the seeds for, well, that conclusion. But she’s at least got some kind of agency in the story. Here, Graham and Yas and Ryan are ... chased? I mean, it did give us Graham laser-tap-dancing his way out of those situations, and I will be forever happy that that was a thing that happened, but overall they had so little to do other than have villainous speeches and antics spouted at them. Frankly, from a purely logistical point of view, it would have made very little difference if the Doctor had just picked them up on the plane before it crashed, because of course the Doctor had sorted everything out about the Silver Lady and the Kasaavins and all.

So I found that fairly unfortunate, especially given Yas and Ryan’s crucial actions (and their rather excellent performances) in part 1.

Resolving the Doctor’s cliffhanger seems a little trickier, and it leads to some of the disjointness I was talking about at the start between parts 1 and 2. In part 1 we’re led to believe that these pointy-hat white ghosts [2] are alien spies spying on Earth’s spies today. Here it turns out that, no, actually, they’re also spying on the Who’s Who of Earth computing and telecommunications.

This includes Ada Lovelace [3]—why she was also known as Ada Gordon is baffling to me given she was Lord Byron’s legitimate daughter and it’s not like Gordon was Byron’s surname (not blaming the show, just baffled at the apparent historical fact)—and later Noor Inayat Khan, the pacifist SOE hero with expertise in wireless telegraphy. It was really good to learn about them and their contributions, however briefly (although I have mixed feelings about the episode avoiding discussing Noor’s ultimate fate).

Thankfully they also get more to do than the companions—Ada hijacks a gun and fights off the Master while he’s distracted, while Noor hides Ada and the Doctor from Nazis and later feeds information to the Nazis to trap the Master. They then both go out and track down the Master’s TARDIS (although given his hubris it turns out to be not so difficult). That’s way more than laser-tap-dancing and being rather ineffectual otherwise!

My main gripe is how the Doctor wipes both their memories at the end—it’s not like the Doctor’s wiped the memories of Dickens or Shakespeare or even Queen Elizabeth! Anti-STEM discrimination, this is.

But overall I very much liked the Doctor in this power trio of women, although I think Ada got the short end of the stick out of the three of them. I suppose it may have been difficult because her abilities are relatively abstract—computer science is a bit more difficult to get across on screen compared to telegraphy and disinformation, so she has to make do with a gun instead.

So: strong companions in part 1 (although not so much in part 2), strong Doctor and historical figures in part 2. All fine and dandy. But let’s talk about the villains, because of course that’s the meat of the story.

OK, first off: that’s Lenny Henry?! God he’s unrecognisable. Goatee suits him, though. He looks sharp.

Daniel Barton, though, seems not so sharp, and not terribly interesting either. First off, he has all the information in the world yet can’t seem to be bothered to run a face recognition routine on Yas and Ryan when they’re undercover in his office as journalists. (Maybe he’s wilfully ignoring it. Maybe he just wants attention.) Then it turns out he’s 7% non-human, which is intriguing at the start but gets rather casually dismissed towards the end of part 2 as just him test-driving the DNA replacement idea.

But the real trouble was that I never found it terribly clear why Barton would have been interested in joining forces with the aliens to wipe out humanity. Did he just find the idea of using seven billion humans as data centres really appealing? Maybe, but what’s the use of all that data? Barton is most powerful as the head of basically Google, and all his data becomes utterly useless without the civilisation that actually needs it, surely.

Oh, then there are the Kasaavins themselves.

At first, their basic plan seems like it’s to wipe out Earth’s intelligence network, which makes sense as a step in an invasion. But then it turns out the ultimate point of their invasion is all about ... computers? And disk space, basically???

Why did they attach themselves to people like Ada Lovelace and Alan Turing and Steve Jobs? Was it to influence the evolution of computing in ways that made today’s computer architectures more vulnerable to ... whatever it is the Kasaavins later do through the Silver Lady and all of our modern devices? Sure, Ada Lovelace’s notes on computing engines were prescient and unquestionably influenced her spiritual successors like Turing, but I would personally have said more in the abstract. You'd definitely want to go after people like Woz, doing design on microcomputers much closer to our modern laptops and phones. I guess they figured it couldn’t hurt, anyway.

What exactly were they going to do with all that disk space? Why don’t they have their own massive storage devices? Why do they need to overwrite human DNA? Can’t they just build more DNA?

I dunno, maybe I’m overthinking it. I thought they were building towards a Matrix-style thing where all of human civilisation was going to just be someone’s cloud computing instance—but no, it’s hard drive space. It seemed a bit weak.

I think the Kasaavins suffered mostly for being in the same story as the newest incarnation of the Master.

The good thing about the Master, at least, is that he needs little motivation. He’s just mad. If he wants to wipe out all of humanity and the Kasaavins needing storage space happens to mean there may be a common interest there, the Master can just do that. That’s how the Master works.

He cuts an imposing figure at the start, I suppose—maniacal slick sort of fellow, shades of Simm’s incarnation in series 3 but still his own thing. But the way he works in this episode is just ... goofy. I mean, really? He just keeps tracking the Doctor through time? Can’t be bothered to keep tabs on whether someone’s trying to sabotage his master plan?

And then there’s the way the whole situation with the Nazis gets resolved.

I really thought he was going to go ‘seventy-seven years ... in a sodding twentieth century ...’, à la Jonathan Pryce’s excellent Master from Steven Moffat’s Comic Relief special. You know, the one from all the way back in 1999 where for the first half-ish, the Doctor and Master basically try to outwit each other through increasingly ridiculous time-travel hijinks, ending up with the Master having to crawl out a sewer for over nine hundred years.

Totally unlike this story, where the second half-ish involves the Doctor and Master trying to outwit each other through time-travel hijinks, and the Master ends up having to crawl out of his predicament for almost eight decades.

I’m not sure that’s a complaint, myself, frankly. For one thing, of course, when a show has gone on for over half a century, it’s difficult to avoid new stories running into old ones. But for another thing, saying something feels right out of a Comic Relief special isn’t necessarily a, erm, fatal flaw for Doctor Who. I prefer it when Doctor Who isn’t taking itself too seriously, just seriously enough.

Still, when you look at the big picture and look at all the retreads, I can’t help but think we’re heading back into the worst excesses of past new!Who.

For all its faults, I really enjoyed series 11 for how the narrative focus returned to the companions after much of the Moffat era’s obsession with ridiculously overpowered characters—Clara as the impossible girl, the Doctor as the Hybrid, the Doctor as literally where we get the word ‘doctor’, and so forth.

Well, now we’ve got the Master back and he’s gone and destroyed Gallifrey (negating the big winning moment of the 50th anniversary special, to boot) and it’s all because of some mysterious lie and it involves the Timeless Child that was mentioned for a hot five seconds last series??? It smacks of past new!Who arcs, especially under Moffat—and at least in my eyes those arcs have never gone terribly well. Those arcs have come at the expense of good companion characterisation as well, so overall it has me a bit concerned about series 12.

Sure, all these aspects of pre-series 11 Who returning to the show—the Daleks last year, and now the Master—maybe makes the show feel more like itself, much like how having a functional rebel force that’s not just confined to a single light freighter makes a Star Wars film feel more like Star Wars. I just worry that it’s a instinctive reaction against some of the mixed reactions to series 11, and that ultimately it’ll be an overreaction.

Good start, though, this two-parter. I just hope it doesn’t turn out to be the best story that series 12 gets.

Footnotes:

[0: Sure, they’re called Vor in the episodes, but first off they’re clearly meant to be Google, and second off it’s very awkward talking about ‘Vor’ being everywhere on the Internet and on everyone’s devices ... so for the purposes of this write-up I’m going to call them Google.]

[1: I know that in Blink, the Doctor and Martha are trapped in the past and have to plant the message in DVDs to get someone to get them out of trouble. But you know what I mean. Timey-wimey out-of-order rescue plan.

Maybe I ought to call it the Arrival gambit, after the excellent film from a few years back.]

[2: Makes them sound like alien Klansmen, doesn’t it?]

[3: What’s the opposite of née for the purposes of distinguishing maiden and married names in time travel stories? I guess mariée is as good as any ...]

[awfullybigwardrobe44]

The Star

ok. Mackenzie asked me “Father Christmas” for the ask set, and I wanted to make a separate post about it because of how important it is to me. 

The best day, the best moment of my life, was seeing a shooting star. I have to do backstory for a second though. 

I had just quit something my family had loved watching me do- marching band- because it was hurting my conscience. I loved the marching, but the entire party-atmosphere of the band and the associations with drinking, etc. were making me feel uncomfortable, and also, the band had these semi-inappropriate dances they did during pep band that everyone was literally required to learn choreography for. It was horrid, and I’m sorry for ever signing up for it. There were good parts, but I was hesitant about it going in. I should never have joined, and I should have known that God didn’t want me there. 

Also, my family goes to a different part of my state for vacation a few times a year. One of the times previously, I had been sitting out on our deck at night, where we get an amazing view of the stars. I had this idea then- what if I prayed and asked God to show me a shooting star, and he did? Wouldn’t that be the most amazing connection? I knew if that happened, I’d feel how close God was, and I’d know he was listening like I’d never known before. Do you see where I’m going with this?

And there were a few times I thought maybe it had happened. I prayed, and then like, 10 minutes later, I’d see a star. But still not the instantaneous connection I wanted. 

So, I had extremely bad anxiety about a month leading up to when I quit, because I was so nervous about quitting. I was worried about disappointing my family, because they loved being able to see me in band- my mom bragged to people about it. And I dreaded it too, because I knew they wouldn’t understand my decision. They’d say I was just being too strict of a Christian- the dance choreography “wasn’t that bad”. (But they weren’t the ones doing it- I don’t really think they understood.) I actually think the amount of stress I went through that month affected my physical health. 

Well, the week before we were going on vacation, I told them. I hated to do it, but oddly, I did it because I wanted to enjoy our vacation. I didn’t want to spend the entire vacation dreading telling them, or tell them while we were there and ruin it. So I told them I was quitting, and I texted my section leader and quit. 

Talk about free conscience. I was relieved. But, my family still didn’t necessarily understand, and I still felt sort of uncomfortable. It still hurt. 

So, now we’re on vacation. I was going to bed one night, and I was all comfortable and snuggled into my bed, and I was really comfortable. I started saying my prayers, and I had this urge to go out and say my prayers under the stars. Which is weird, right? I was comfortable in bed. Why would I get up?

But I did. I started saying my normal prayers out there, looking up at the stars. I remembered how last time I’d wanted God to answer my prayer immediately and send a shooting star, but I really didn’t think he would. That would be giving me pretty close to a miracle. Or an actual miracle. I didn’t think God would give me that. It was too much to ask for. 

And I actually remember interrupting myself in prayer. “God, please, would you send a shooting star? Please, God, just one?”

I kid you not, I don’t even think I’d finished praying that when my eyes darted to a different part of the sky, and I saw one. 

Now, multiple times in my life, I have doubted that this actually happened. Once I worried I’d dreamed it. A few times I worry it was “just a coincidence”. But we have  God who “calls out the stars by name”, right? And just the fact that I had been in bed, and then got up to go outside anyway.... And it happened immediately when I prayed that. For me, who tends to think that everything like this is a coincidence, this one still baffles me. And the fact that I’d had that idea in my head for a few vacations beforehand, how awesome it would be if God did that for me...

I can’t believe God sent me that, to be honest. I still can’t. But I fully believe that God saw the pain I was in, and the leap of faith I’d taken to obey, and sent this to comfort me. That star is what I keep going back to. It was the greatest moment of my entire life. If I ever doubt that God is listening, I remember that moment. 

[fanficshiddles]

I’m still breathing, Chapter 10

Loki woke up the following morning and took a second to remember that he was in Sophie’s room. He had a good sleep, glad that his nightmares hadn’t haunted him for the last few weeks, not since he showed his true form to Sophie.

He stretched out and noticed that Sophie wasn’t next to him in bed. He frowned, wondering where she could be. That’s when he heard a noise from under the bed. He rolled over and swung his head down the side to look underneath and was shocked to see Sophie curled up underneath the bed, asleep.

‘Sophie?’

She didn’t open her eyes, but she responded. ‘What is it?’ She mumbled sleepily.

‘What are you doing under the bed?’

Sophie frowned and then opened her eyes. She got a scare as she attempted to sit up, but hit her head. ‘Ow! Shit!’ She hissed and put her hand over her head.

‘Now, I never thought I was so repulsive that you’d rather hide from me under the bed.’ Loki cocked an eyebrow at her.

Sophie rubbed her head and looked over at him. He looked odd looking at her upside down, his hair was hanging down around his face.

‘I… Have no idea why I am under the bed.’ She crawled out and scrambled back onto the bed, still rubbing her head.

Loki pulled her into him and rubbed her head for her. ‘No bump. I think you’re fine, perhaps slightly insane.’ He grinned, earning a glare from her.

‘What time is it?’ She asked, creasing her eyes as she looked around.

‘It’s 10am. You were pretty out of it last night, you were maybe just sleep walking or something similar.’ Loki suggested.

‘Yeah, must be.’ Sophie sighed and lay down, her head was pounding. Not from hitting it, but it was a headache. Her first hangover being pretty rough. ‘I am never drinking again.’ She groaned.

‘I thought you’d say that, everyone does. But you will.’ Loki smirked and placed his palm over her forehead.

‘What are you’

‘Shhh. Just relax.’ He whispered and closed his eyes to concentrate.

Sophie felt weird, she could feel tingling emitting from Loki’s hand and seeping into her skin. Miraculously, he got rid of her headache.

‘How the hell…’ She trailed off when he removed his hand.

‘I’m a god.’ He winked at her.

Once she felt better, Sophie and Loki went to seek out some breakfast. Sophie was glad to see that she wasn’t the only one sporting a hangover. Tony had fallen asleep in his cereal, Peter had his forehead to the table, Natasha was wearing sunglasses inside and looked pretty rough. Darcy and Jane were passed out in the living area with Thor, Wanda, Vision and Steve. She had no idea where the others were, no doubt in bed she thought.

Sophie grabbed some breakfast and sat down with Loki at the breakfast bar. The two shared a look as they looked at Tony, who was still asleep in his cornflakes. Loki smirked and mouthed quietly for her to watch.

Sophie bit her lip, wondering what the trickster was going to do. She watched as Loki slammed his hands down on the table, causing both Tony and Peter to shoot up in a panic. Peter put his arms in a defensive pose while Tony fell backwards off his stool.

Loki and Sophie burst out laughing. Tony grumbled under his breath, swearing at the god as he clambered up to his feet. But the two just laughed even more, he had cereal stuck to his forehead.

The noise Loki made caused everyone in the adjoining living area to stir as well, wondering what was happening. Darcy thought they were under attack so had hidden under a blanket.

After everyone had recovered, the ones who didn’t live at the tower left. And Clint went home for the weekend to spend time with his family. Sophie was dragged to the lab to see if the machine that Bruce, Tony and Loki had been working on would work.

‘Are you sure it’s safe?’ Sophie asked nervously while Tony got it started up.

‘Yep. We’ve already tested it on a mutant that works for SHIELD.’ Tony nodded.

‘And did it work? What did it show for them?’

‘The mutant in question is a shapeshifter. It showed high levels of the mutation flowing through his blood, bones and muscle. His entire body, basically.’ Bruce said.

‘Which helps to point towards what his mutation is. Since shapeshifting effects the entire body.’ Loki further explained.

‘Ah, ok.’ Sophie nodded in understanding.

Loki noticed her biting her nails while she waited for Stark to finish the preparations. It was something that Loki picked up on that she did when she was nervous. He moved in closer to her and slid an arm around her, pulling her into his side.

‘I wouldn’t let you go in this machine if it wasn’t safe. I give you my word.’ Loki assured her.

‘Thanks.’ Sophie nodded and smiled up at him.

When it was ready, Loki helped Sophie into the machine. In her eyes it was basically a large x ray machine that she had to stand in. So she tried to think of it as just that and closed her eyes until it was over.

It only lasted a minute as a scanner scanned her entire body with hyper rays that would penetrate into her body, but not harm her. The scans showed up on Tony’s computer within seconds.

Loki helped Sophie out of the machine, then they went to join Tony.

‘Well, it’s interesting. It says that your mutation effects your entire body too.’ Tony pointed to the screen. ‘See the hazy red? That’s the mutation. It’s all over your body, like the shapeshifting guy. Your bones, blood, everything.’ He said in amazement.

‘So… I shapeshift?’ Sophie asked.

‘Not necessarily. It could be a number of things. There are lots of mutations that effect the entire body.’ Bruce said.

‘Great. So it doesn’t help us that much?’ Sophie was disappointed.

‘It does help. It starts to narrow it down more.’ Loki said optimistically.

Sophie went straight to the library to look up about the different types of mutations. There was so many possibilities of what hers could be though, she didn’t know what to do. She picked one book that was most in-depth and took it to the living area to read there.

Everyone ended up in on a discussion with her about the possibilities.

‘Ooo, maybe you can turn invisible!’ Wanda suggested.

‘That would have been handy on the streets for sure.’ Sophie laughed.

‘Perhaps you will turn into a werewolf or something like that. You know like Beast. Or maybe you’ll end up like Night crawler. Man those two were awesome.’ Peter said excitedly.

Loki glared at Peter, not liking his suggestions. As Sophie had already expressed to Loki how she was scared her mutation would be something like that, where she wouldn’t be able to turn back to her normal human form.

Natasha picked up on the look from Loki and gave Peter a nudge.

‘Uh, or maybe you will be able to adapt to your surroundings and survive whatever situation you’re in.’ He said quickly, making up for his first suggestion.

‘That’s called having a Loki by your side.’ Steve grinned and everyone laughed, including Sophie who was surprised to see a small blush on Loki’s cheeks.

‘If the mutation is showing up as active from the findings of the machine, then surely that means it’s already within you. So if your appearance was going to change, I think it would have happened by now.’ Pepper suggested and Tony nodded in agreement.

‘She’s right. It was active mutation cells within your body, not dormant.’

Sophie was relieved at that. ‘Well, that’s a good thing I suppose.’

Later that day the team was called in to help with a terrorist attack happening in England. So they set off in the helicarrier. Loki was glad that Sophie had Pepper for company for a change now that she was back.

‘So when are you going to ask her on a date?’ Vision asked Loki, who looked like a sheep caught in the headlights.

‘What… Who?’ He asked, innocently. Though he knew exactly what Vision was on about.

‘You know who.’ Natasha grinned and rested her chin on her hand, looking at Loki intently.

‘I… I don’t know. I don’t think she would be interested.’ Loki shrugged.

‘Wait, what? Who’s he asking on a date? Who wouldn’t be interested?’ Tony butted in, confused.

Natasha glared at him. ‘You mean you don’t know?’

‘Clearly. Someone want to explain?’ He folded his arms over his chest.

‘Loki likes Sophie. Loki needs to grow a pair and ask her on a date. A proper date.’ Natasha smirked and looked back at Loki.

‘Sophie… You and Sophie? Really?’ Tony looked baffled.

‘You really can be blind sometimes, Stark.’ Vision laughed and patted him on the back.

Then Tony’s face lit up in realisation. ‘Ohhh. So that’s why you were so touchy when I mentioned about Peter might be good for Sophie!’

Peter had been eating crisps and looked up, confused at his name being mentioned.

Loki rolled his eyes and rubbed his temples. ‘Look. She is not likely to be interested in going on a date with me.’

‘How do you know?’ Natasha said quickly.

‘I… Well, I… Why would she be?’ Loki stuttered.

‘I’ve seen the way she looks at you, Loki. She adores you. She trusts you too and that’s something. The way she stuck up for you before. How you’re always reaching for her hand or she for yours. I would be very surprised if she didn’t jump at the chance to go on a date with you.’

There was no more talk about dates because they arrived in England to take out the threat. But it was safe to say that Loki’s mind was entirely elsewhere. When they were finished in England and heading back to base, Thor spoke to Loki quietly at the back.

‘Natasha is right, you know. You should ask her on a date.’ He said quietly.

‘What if she says no?’ Loki said worriedly.

‘She won’t. I am sure of it. Since when did you get so shy around girls anyway?’ Thor chuckled.

‘I… I am not.’ Loki said confidently, trying to act fine.

‘I know you really like her, brother. I don’t think you have to worry as I know she likes you too. Just try it. Invite her on a date.’ Thor gave him a pat on the back, leaving Loki to his thoughts.

He wanted nothing more than to be able to court Sophie. His feelings had grown for her even more over the months in her company. He had been attracted to her from the moment he laid eyes upon her, even if she did stab him. That was part of her charm.

But he didn’t want to ruin what they had. They had become really close and good friends, he wasn’t sure if he wanted to risk it. What if she didn’t feel the same way that he did? It would make things awkward if she found out that he liked her in a more romantic way, if she didn’t feel the same.

He sighed and ran a hand down his face as he paced his room.

The more he thought about it, the more he realised it would be worth a try. So he gathered up as much courage as he possibly could and went to find her.

He tried her room first but she wasn’t there, so he went to the kitchen. That’s where he found her, along with Pepper, Natasha and Clint.

‘Sophie, there you are. I need to ask you… Something.’ He said and walked over to stand by where she sat.

‘What’s up?’ She smiled up at him.

‘I was wondering. If you would’ He was cut off when the intruder alarm went off and two SHIELD soldiers marched into the room with Tony following behind, trying to get them to leave again.

‘Sophie?’ One of the guards asked.

‘Y… Yes?’ Sophie stood up, slightly concerned.

‘You need to come with us.’ The guard said and moved towards her, reaching out to grab her arm.

Loki saw red. He grabbed the man’s arm, twisted it so his body was forced round and then he kicked his back in, sending him to the floor. The other guard lunged at Loki, but Loki whipped out his daggers and held one up to his neck, causing the guard to freeze while the first one scrambled up to his feet and went to radio for back up.

‘Woah, woah! Stop guys.’ Tony managed to separate them. ‘Loki, back off.’

‘How dare they come in here and attempt to grab Sophie!’ Loki snarled, nose scrunching angrily. ‘What is the meaning of this?’ He demanded.

‘We are not at liberty to disclose that information. She needs to come with us.’ The guard said firmly, his hand on his gun as he didn’t like the situation.

‘No. She’s going nowhere.’ Loki hissed, stepping fully on front of her, daggers still in hand.

Natasha and Clint also stood up and gathered next to Loki, as did Tony. Their arms folded over their chests as they stared at the guards.

The guards looked between one another, then one held his earpiece and listened to an in-coming message.

‘Fine. You can all come with her too. But she has to come with us.’ The guard said firmly.

Sophie’s stomach was in knots as the guards led the way. Natasha and Clint followed then Loki and Sophie, with Tony behind them. Loki took Sophie’s hand as he knew she was scared. He was too, wondering what they wanted with Sophie.

They were taken to a car that was waiting outside.

‘We are not getting in until we are told what is going on. Or until we speak to Fury.’ Tony said firmly.

The guards sighed in irritation and took out a phone. They called Fury and handed it over to Tony.

‘What the fuck is going on?’ He snapped at the director.

‘I need to speak to Sophie for myself. Get an update from her. That is all.’ Fury said calmly.

‘I don’t buy it. Why don’t you come here? There is no more news to tell. And why did the guards just barge in, setting off my alarm?’

‘If she isn’t here in the next hour, I will have to take drastic measures. So I suggest you all get your asses here right now.’

[toushindai]

p cool how Hades calls his dog by name but calls his son "boy," occasionally even in the same sentence

And by cool I mean yikes

[it's free real estate voice] ~~It's bad parenting~~

...and then I ramble for 1300 words: No I’m proud of this it’s not rambling. It is 1300 words long though.

Eventually, I assume, at some emotional moment he will call Zagreus by name, and I wonder what can be done narratively to earn that moment. It can't come cheaply. As it stands currently, it's most often Hades who starts the conversations between the two of them, and not kindly. You can't yell at your kid for being cheeky if you snark at him first, dude! He is just an unforgivably bad parent as it currently stands, and inflexibly so. I get the impression that he has absolutely no idea how to get his son under control. Not a single, solitary clue. He's tried delegating, I suppose—to Nyx and Achilles and Megaera in various capacities—but none of them managed to bring Zag into line with what Hades wants. In at least Achilles' and Nyx’s cases* they likely applied the one strategy that Hades never has, that of listening to Zag and treating him like his own person; but of course this results in Zagreus making his own decisions and his own mistakes, which I don’t believe Hades appreciates—or appreciates the importance of.

(*In my own headcanon, if not necessarily explicitly in canon, Megaera was/is better at this than Hades, but not to Achilles’ and Nyx’s level, and not, crucially, to a level that Zag could tolerate perpetually.)

Hades doesn’t know what to do in order to get himself a compliant son, and so the strategy he keeps defaulting to is berating and belittling him incessantly. Despite the clear lack of success of this strategy! All it’s doing is teaching Zagreus that he’ll never have his father’s respect, no matter what he does; that in order to be any kind of equal, he has to give as good as he gets. Zagreus has learned that he shouldn’t take anything Hades says to heart because it is cruel under any circumstances. I mean the guy can’t even properly thank Zagreus for inspiring Orpheus to sing again. He’s super bad at this!

(Honestly, between Hades’ inability to get his son under control, his difficulty in convincing Orpheus to sing again, his inability to stop Nyx and Achilles from aiding Zag... maybe he’s just not great at getting people to do what he wants? And how does that reflect on a god; and does it in some concrete way weaken his influence in his domain? Would that induce a sense of urgency on the subject of getting Zagreus under control? Regardless—)

So, is this status quo going to remain intact until and beyond the end of the game, or is something going to change? Is there going to be some kind of reconciliation between father and son, is Hades going to stop being such a dick? I mean... to me, it feels like yes, even though I don’t see at this time how it can happen and I am actively wary of it coming cheaply. I think the reason I feel this way is that it seems very clear that Hades just... isn’t expressing himself well, or honestly. His anger is bluster and the scorn he heaps on Zagreus is frustration at his own impotence. I’m not excusing it! That doesn’t at all make it excusable, but I feel like it leaves open the possibility that if Hades can change that about himself, then he and Zagreus could communicate honestly moving forward. And that does lead into one worry I have—that some part of Zag is so desirous of his father’s approval that, given the opportunity, he will forgive Hades’ mistreatment more easily than a player/observer will. (cf. the two seconds in which he does, I think, sincerely fall for Hades’ “I thought you’d finally made it out.”) It seems that Zagreus is—by nature, and in spite of Hades’ abuse—generous and open with his emotions, he is someone who inherently and intensely wants to be in a state of getting along with people. And that could present a real narrative challenge, in that Zag might accept a revised status quo in which Hades treats him with some level of grudging respect more easily than the narrative, as it currently stands, demands of Hades.

There is of course the possibility that such a reconciliation won’t be on the table at all, won’t be presented as an option. I mean, as far as Zag’s planning at this point, he’s going to make it to the surface and leave Hades (place and person) behind entirely and that’s gonna be the end of that! I am acknowledging this possibility with these words but please let me make it excruciatingly clear that I do not believe it for one single second. I extremely, extremely do not think that Zag gets to stay on the surface the first time he makes it to the surface, I mean at this point with the roadmap public and calling for a fourth biome after Elysium that’s almost obvious but I’ve been thinking this from the beginning. I think he reaches the surface but something unexpected and intensely disillusioning happens and he winds up back at home. If it then comes out that part of Hades hoped that Zagreus's bullheaded persistence would bring him a success that Hades had given up imagining—if they're able to have some kind of honest conversation in which Zag feels hopeless while Hades admits begrudgingly to hope of his own—then I think things between them might begin to be repaired. (Then Zag recovers and sets out again, to Hades' baffled exasperation, but with a broader, less self-serving sense of purpose, or something? idk, I'm trying not to commit to only one theory of what might happen but this is the primary thing I've been picturing...)

But like I said, I'm having trouble imagining a story that concludes with a decision towards intentional, permanent estrangement, and not because I think there's anything wrong with that kind of story. Is it because that would sort of be the result of the path Zagreus is currently on, which has been characterized so far as careless, poorly thought through, incomplete**? I think that's it. It's not that I feel the narrative is aiming at "Zag just needs to ~give Hades a chance~"—not at all, on the contrary I think it shows that he has tried to give Hades those chances, primarily through trying to give him ambrosia and to a lesser extent when he tries to convey Zeus's offer of forgiveness. (Regardless of whether that offer from Zeus's end is appropriate, Zagreus put himself in the middle and gave Hades the chance to respond with decency, in spite of, uh, every piece of evidence we've seen so far suggesting that it would not go well.) If there is going to be transformation in this relationship, it absolutely has to start with Hades not being a dick to him anymore. And maybe that's not something Zagreus is actively looking for or working towards at this moment, and with ample reason. But, because it's so clear that Zagreus's sense of purpose is so underthought and naive, and because he does fall into what is currently a trap*** of trying to be open with Hades on occasion, I don't think "Zag gets away forever" is where this is going. And for that to happen, for that to be satisfying, Hades has got to stop being awful to him. That he is portrayed as otherwise fair means that this path is open, I think. But it's got to start with him backing the fuck off and admitting what he's been doing wrong for as long as Zag has been alive.

(**I very very very much want to look in detail at the way this impression is constructed because it's so crucial to what's happening and yet so external to the POV character. I just really love the way Supergiant tells stories indirectly, ok, I just—it's just amazing, I want to eat this ability and absorb it for myself.)

(***The sense of dread I feel when initiating both of those conversations is... quite exquisite? I don't want to tell Zagreus to bare his throat to the wolf, I don't want to navigate him into a position where his guard is down and his father just tears into him again, but... it's so important that that is something that Zag does, and it makes my heart ache for him.)

[elounorfluff-blog]

Talk to Me (Part One)

A/N: So I have officially given up on trying to finish this in one go. It would be a month of writer’s block most likely. So I have decided to post it in two parts. If you have ANY funny/cute ideas of ways they might try to make each other talk, DM me! Also important note: keep in mind this would be around 2013/14 before El was the ‘queen of crop tops’. 

Thanks and hope you like it :)

“Do you two know how to shut your mouths?” Harry screamed, suddenly turning every head in the room and ceasing Eleanor and Louis’ sarcastic debate of the day.

Eleanor gathered her senses. “I’m sorry, what did you just say?”

Harry took two steps towards her, his words slow and deliberate “I said, do you know how to shut up? Close your mouth? Not speak?”

“Are you talking about me or him?” El gestured to her defensive looking boyfriend. “Because he is the problem, not me. He’s the one who starts these things.”

Louis gaped at her, “I most certainly am not, you are the one always going on about-”

“Stop!” Harry returned to shouting. “Just stop! I bet you two couldn’t go a whole day without talking to each other. Arguing, Flirting, and everything in between. There’s never any peace around here anymore.” That wasn’t exactly true, El and Louis just hadn’t been together in a while, so they were making up for lost time with extra arguing and flirting over the past few days.

Liam chimed in from the couch after a moment of tense silence, “What does the winner get?”

“The winner of what?”, Louis asked. All of them looked confused now.

“Well Harry said a whole day without talking to each other, so clearly it’s a competition, something you two love, so whoever talks to the other first, loses. What does the winner get?”

Eleanor and Louis thought for a moment, or El did at least. “She already knows what I want,” Louis smirked.

El rolled her eyes, “Have I mentioned you are an insatiable little shit today?”

Harry laughed, and Liam covered his mouth to keep from doing so.

“I don’t know what insatiable means, but probably. Have I mentioned you’re an annoying know-it-all today?” He smiled sarcastically.

Zayn was paying attention from a bean bag on the other side of the room now, “Lou, it just means you really like sex, dude.”

“This is going to be easier than I thought”, El crossed her arms and put her hip out defiantly. “Fine, I’ll participate. But next time we go out, I get to pick something out and you have to get it for me. Within reason.”

Louis was a bit baffled by her answer. He usually bought her what she wanted anyway, which wasn’t much, but he was excited to beat her, which he was quite confident he could do without much effort.

“Alright then.” Harry smiled but looked exasperated. “From 9 AM tomorrow morning until 9 PM, you two can talk to anyone but each other. First person to talk to the other within the time frame loses. If you both make it, somehow, I will personally pay for all of us to go on a fucking cruise. That’s how confident I am that this will fail.”

“Deal.” Louis shook Harry’s hand. Eleanor eyed them looking for a downside, but eventually offered up her own handshake.

“Deal.” She agreed. She had no idea what she was in for.

Eleanor stood in the hallway of the hotel, arms wrapped around her boyfriend’s neck as she kissed him goodnight. “You better tell me you love me tonight, because tomorrow you have to go a whole day without saying it”, he jokingly informed her, hands on her waist.

“Mmm. How will I ever survive?” She grinned at him, sliding her hands down his arms and leaning back to look at him. “You’re going down, Tommo”, She announced to him confidently.

Louis took her hands and spun her while she squealed in delight, landing so her back was against him and his head rested on her shoulder, he moved his chin slightly and spoke softly into her ear, “We’ll see about that Calder, I have a habit of making you say lots of things.”

Eleanor turned her head back and raised an eyebrow at his suggestive comment. “Guess we’ll find out tomorrow.” She kissed him again quickly, “Okay, okay, I have to go.” She disentangled herself from him and he frowned.

“Go where?” Louis questioned her, fully intending to spend the whole night with her.

“To my own hotel room. And you are sleeping in yours or on the bus. I’m not dumb enough to wake up in your room. I know you Louis Tomlinson and you would turn off my alarm and wait until after nine to scare me awake to get me to talk.”, she informed him pointedly, crossing her arms.

“…I wasn’t necessarily going to scare you to get you to talk”, he defended, grinning.

Eleanor let her head fall back as she sighed, “Oh, bloody hell. You’re impossible, Boo. You aren’t going to be able to trick me with the allure of sex, especially not before the bet ‘as even started. And when I win, I’m going to ask for a way more interesting prize.” She started walking down the hall, but Louis quickly turned and blocked her.

“I’m sorry, when you win? You just know you’re going to win?”

El was actually pretty confident that she could pull this off, but she humored him anyway. “Fine. If I win. So better bring you’re A-game Tomlinson.” She stepped around him and turned back, “Goodnight Louis.”

“Wait!” He almost shouted. She raised her eyebrows in frustration, shaking her head, when he reached his arms out, wiggling his fingers until she surrendered and hugged him. “I looove you.” He told her emphatically to make her smile.

Eleanor breathed in the comfort of her boyfriend’s sweatshirt, “Love you too, Baby.” She felt him kiss her forehead and then tilted her chin up to press his lips to hers. “Ok, I actually ‘ave to sleep now.” She pulled away from him.

“Night, Love.” He winked at her as they turned in opposite directions.

Louis had decided by morning that he did not favor sleeping without Eleanor when he knew she was down the hall. It was strangely discomforting. The boys got up early and ate breakfast before heading out to the huge venue they were playing that weekend. They didn’t have a concert tonight, but since they did the following two days, they had to go do soundchecks and figure out the stage among other things. Plus, they had been promised the following morning off if they got this mess over with today.

El woke up in the same room as Sophia around nine. “Soph”, she attempted to ask her passed out friend a question. “Sophia!”

The other girl groaned and rolled over, “What?”

“Where are the guys at today?”

Sophia sat up, “The…stage place…whatever it’s called”, she replied wearily, “Why do you care, I thought you were avoiding him.”

El raised an eyebrow at her, “Avoiding him? How am I supposed to get him to break if I’m not there for him to talk to me?”

Soph laughed then, “And just how are you planning on catching Louis Tomlinson, of all people, off guard?”

“You don’t think I can win the bet?” El questioned her.

Sophia was quiet for a minute. “It’s not that you couldn’t win, per say…. but if we were gambling, I might, possibly, bet on someone else in the chances of increasing my cash flow…”

El crossed her arms from where she was sitting on the end of her bed, “So basically, what you’re saying, is that not only did everyone else place actual money on this but that you bet your own personal money on Louis winning and me losing?”

“Well it sounds rude when you put it like that!” Sophia threw her hands up, but El just laughed at the interesting circumstances.

“Okay fine, you didn’t bet on me, but as my best friend, you are bloody obligated to tell me who did, at least.”

Sophia chewed on her lip, “…Harry…and Zayn.”

“Well, those odds aren’t too bad. Maybe they’ll give me proper help.” She smirked at her friend as she grabbed her clothes for the day. She looked at the dress she had picked out and second-guessed the cutesy flower pattern, stuffing the dress back in her luggage and grabbing cutoff shorts. Unfortunately, all the shirts she had packed seemed to scream modesty, which was not a look she felt like would help her today. “Hey Soph, where’s the black and white crop top you got at Anthropologie the other day?”

Sophia raised an eyebrow at her, “The one with the flowers? Why are you looking for that?”

“No reason…. just wondering if I could borrow it.” Eleanor tried not to make a big deal of it.

“For what? It barely covers anything and it’s not exactly warm out. You’re already wearing the shortest pair of shorts you brought with ya- ohhh.” Realization hit Sophia as she grasped El’s motive for wanting to borrow her top. “Nope. No way girl. If you’re going to be sexy, you ‘ave to do it right. Hold on.” Sophia came over to the closet with her and started going through her luggage. El tended to dress more on the modest side, partly out of necessity for comfort, although she always managed to look adorable while doing it.

“How exactly do I ‘do it right’, then?” Eleanor asked, rolling her eyes.

“It means you still look like you, rather than me…Actually, you should really look more like whatever Louis loves, if your goal is to get him to talk.” She was still throwing things from El’s suitcase aside.

“He likes it when I wear his T-shirts…but I only have one of those and I wouldn’t say a t-shirt is really the look I’m going for.” El sat on the edge of the bed.

“Which shirt?”

“Just a black Adidas one.”

Sophia smiled at her devilishly. “Hand it over, Love.”

El’s eyes widened as she answered her friend, “What? Why? What are you going to do?”

“Never mind I found it in here.” Sophia grabbed the t-shirt from the bottom of El’s bag.

“Sophia!” She was starting to worry now.

“You should probably switch to skinny jeans, it’s kind of chilly out.” Soph ignored her grabbing a pair of scissors.

“Oh no.” El looked at the scissors.

“Oh yes.” Sophia grinned.

Twenty minutes later, El had on her favorite ripped skinny jeans, black ankle boots, and an Adidas T-shirt…minus the bottom half. She had piled all her hair up in a messy bun and done her makeup quickly before Sophia was grabbing her by the arm to catch their car outside to the stadium.

The boys were running through the stage setup when El and Soph arrived. They came in through the side entrance, quietly watching the boys finish what they were doing before walking onto the stage. El put a finger to her lips as she caught Harry’s eye. Liam and Louis’ back were still turned away from her and Soph. Harry winked at her. Allies were always important.

Louis set his water bottle down, “Okay what if we changed the third song to- ohmygod there is a person on me!” He shouted as he turned to find El smiling from where she had jumped on his back. “Liam! Come remove this parasite!” Liam burst out laughing as Sophia stepped in his path.

“Hi, Love.” Despite betting on Louis’ side, Soph was still helping her best friend out. “Can I borrow you for a moment?”

“I think Louis needs me first…” Liam trailed off.

“Nonsense, Tommo’s fine!” She grabbed his hand and pulled him in the direction of the dressing rooms.

Louis rolled his eyes, “Well that worked out well…Harry, a little help here?” He clearly had no idea that everyone had bet on them, El realized. She smiled feeling like this gave her a distinct advantage.

Harry leaned against a table and crossed his arms, “Course, Lou…. El did you need help getting down?” He asked her, and Louis’ jaw dropped at his support of El instead of him.

“I’m fine, thanks for asking, think I’ll actually get down myself.” She smiled and hopped back off her boyfriend’s back, walking to stand by Harry while Louis regained his composure, which he promptly lost all over again when he saw her outfit.

Niall appeared from backstage where he had been up until that point. “Hey El, nice shirt, matches Louis’ black one!” He genuinely complimented her, and Harry covered his mouth as he burst out laughing. He had figured out fairly quickly exactly what her t-shirt was.

Louis threw his hands up in frustration, “Zayn, remind me not to loan my things to anyone in the future”, he said to the only band member who had yet to comment.

“I don’t know…”, He looked up and down at El, “Personally I think it looks better like that.”

“Keep your eyes to yourself!” Louis told him emphatically as he huffed off the stage to his dressing room.

“Nice one, El!” Harry double high fived her as soon as Louis was gone. “How did you know I would back you up?”

“Soph spills everything. She’s actually where I got this lovely outfit despite her loyalties lying elsewhere apparently. You think someone is your best friend until they bet on your boyfriend instead of you”, She told them laughing.

Zayn wandered over, “You better not let us down, Calder”, he jokingly told her.

El inhaled, “Wouldn’t dream of it.”

Meanwhile, Louis banged on the door to Liam’s dressing room. He opened it reluctantly, clearly having been involved in something with Sophia. “Can I help you, mate?”

Louis opened the door the rest of the way. “You.” He looked at Sophia who smiled innocently, despite the strap of her tank top hanging off her shoulder. “You helped her and I know it, she doesn’t do stuff like that on her own! Cutting up shirts and all that.”

Sophia looked like she was contemplating something deeply, “I can neither confirm or deny that I was involved”, she stated firmly. “Not that it would matter, we’re all allowed to help whoever we want. In the end, it’s just you two who can’t talk to each other that decides who gets the money.”

Louis froze. “What money?” He asked, and Liam turned to glare at Sophia. “Oh my God. You guys bet on us! Spill it Soph, who’s on my side. I know you told El.”

Sophia looked from Lou to her boyfriend, “Fine”, She conceded. “Me, Liam and Niall bet on you. Zayn and Harry bet on El.”

“How much?” Louis asked, knowing it would affect how much they were involved.

“Nope, not telling. El doesn’t know either.” She stood up, “Speaking of, I better go find my girl.” She smirked and left the room.

Louis looked to Liam, “How do I get her to talk? She’s better at this than I thought.”

Liam pondered the question, “I’m sure if you be yourself long enough, she’ll say something.” Louis did not look amused. “Alright, fine. Have you got a story that she doesn’t necessarily want the whole world to hear but she wouldn’t kill you if it got out?”

Louis thought about it for a moment. “I think I have just the thing.”

They talked over their plan and eventually joined the rest of the group for lunch at a cafe. Lou hugged El from behind and kissed her cheek, trying everything to see if she would slip up. She was one step ahead of him on that one as she pulled his arms tighter around her bare waist and grinned. Louis frowned and let her go, sitting down on the other side of the table.

“So how’s our favorite couple?” Harry asked chuckling.

“You mean Beyoncé and Jay-Z?” El asked politely as she opened her water.

“I’m pretty sure he meant you and Louis, Eleanor”, Liam was clearly involved in things now. Shit, Eleanor thought to herself. Louis must have figured out the bets and teams.

“Louis and I? Well, I can’t speak for him, but I’m doing fine”, she skirted around the question.

Louis smirked and pretended he hadn’t heard Eleanor answer. “We’re doing great actually. You know just the other day we were at that giant hotel in Italy and you know I always stay on the tour bus, unless El is here with me, for the experience and so on. Well, you wouldn’t believe what we did.”

He saw Eleanor’s eyes widen as she realized what he was talking about. She glared at him. Two could play at this game.

Part two coming...soon?