#ok im calming more now. im ujst so scared all the time | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

inner-community · 9 months ago

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also i cant even practice driving because our car is dead and our neighbor NEVER LEAVES THE HOUSE so we cant put my dads car next to it to jump it. i want to scream. i guess it helps complaining though so i can stop thinking about it so much and getting so stressed. i just feel like i need to be doing 10000000000 things.

really i just need to do 2 things rn - call the test people & send an email to the dmv guys. then when those are done i can study. and if i have to make a psych appt it would be fine because i should ask for my as needed klonopin back because i think i am still good for the most part it's just my anxiety randomly goes thru the roof and i need help w it. (weed has been making it worse. why would my best friend weed do this to me...)

i also should really remember every day to take my mushroom supplement because i cant overstate how much of a diff it makes taking it regularly.

also i need my wife to stop asking about tax stuff for A Minute because i know what we are doing i just need time to execute it all and i have to do all of the above bullshit first!!!!!!

#like we need to send a mail version of our taxes bcs they wouldnt accept the gross income from last year as the right one?????????#so i have to send them in #and i want to be able to pay it in full!!!#so then our 23 taxes can be on a pay plan and then everything will be set up perfect and beautiful.#deep breaths.#im fine aghhhh #im so scared im gonna stress too much and make myself have more health issues #i need to be calmed #it really doesnt help that my love has no work rn and hasnt since august #bcs it means that i am paying for everything and it quickly gets overextended #so i CANT save anything. i can barely pay my credit cards and shit.#so like i havent been able to build up money to pay tax shit!!!!!#so i feel like i have to work MORE but i cant just make my current clients give me more work lmao #and so more work means making my free time into art for other people time #which i dont mind usually but rn its making my brain scream #so #i think i just need a Real Fucking Break no strings attached and also that doesnt cost anything and i get paid like normal during. haha #im hoping if i can somehow break down the driving stuff wall and get that done #that the combo of being able to drive to work and thus cutting off like 1-2 hrs of time from my work #and also doing less work and more school! will be good #i like school i really like in person classes #my brain just absorbs it all #ok im calming more now. im ujst so scared all the time #and im too good at keeping it to myself bcs i cant be Weak

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