#ok i've blacklisted it i got the push i needed

[drawbauchery]

Ship bingo for

Sondam

Saimota

Oumota (evil laughter)

[vigilskeep]

I think it has smth to do w the fact tht they were an indentured servant (basically) for Meeran/Athenril? Bc it’s like ok freelance mercenary work or thievery is one thing. But then it’s like not ur choice bc u have to bc they have a contract tht says that You Are Theirs. Esp as an apostate hawke bc they can lord over u tht if you step out of line they don’t have to protect u from the Templars. And typically when it comes to an indenture contract the holder of the contract will add on shit to make sure u need to spend more time in their employ to pay off ur debt. So maybe Meeran was like oh yeah you rmr the time you used a company poultice when u got stabbed in the gut? You have to pay me back for tht too. Or smth similar. When their contract got close to being up. Which would def sour a relationship.

yeah that's my thought! it definitely reads like meeran/athenril wanted more work out of them, tried to push the contract, that went over real bad with hawke. the question is, of course, how hawke managed to get out of that! and not only get out, but apparently still end up on relatively even footing with meeran/athenril where they can, potentially, take a job from them, and meeran/athenril sends other work and contacts their way

the hawkes are a valuable commodity because of their magic but also intensely vulnerable because of it. if meeran/athenril came right out with it and said you're sticking with us or i go to the templars, what could they possibly do? so why don't meeran and athenril do that? they're covering you because you can do work for them sure but they don't exactly seem like they have pro mage rights moral scruples. and still they don't sell you out once you're gone; they don't even go to the templars about you if you fuck them over during loose ends, they come at you themselves. which is obviously because the game can't let them do that, but i'm addressing it as an in-world question here

honestly my first instinct is the delightful and fascinating takeaway that there's a no snitches code of honour when it comes to apostates, which is probably mostly upheld because if as a mercenary or smuggler leader it gets out that you're holding that over mages then you get essentially fucking blacklisted and not one apostate in the free marches is going to be desperate enough to come near you. which would be a massive disadvantage. it's also obvious that the hawkes have built up relationships with all the contacts and suppliers and such, presumably not to mention other members of the smugglers/red iron, and in general it wouldn't look great for meeran/athenril to sell them out especially when the hawkes clearly fulfilled the contract they were given

as a side note i wonder if there's anything to be said about a cultural difference here that might make the hawkes particularly react bad to the servitude thing. i don't know quite how different things are in the free marches but fereldans typically hold ideals of freedom very highly; they don't have serfs, for example, and all fereldans high or low theoretically have the right to go where they will, work where they will, and be paid for that work. i'm not saying there are no discrepancies and abuses in ferelden because i'm sure there are but i've often thought that's a problem fereldan workers might have in general in kirkwall (and why kirkwaller employers might be so consistently vocal against fereldan workers) and no less true for the hawkes during their servitude

[inchidentally]

ok so I'm going to another of tricky asks below - prob just skip since I can tell I'm repeating myself a lot lol

if I hadn't gotten asks about it I wouldn't have known that a subsection of dando people were as serious as they were which is… odd to me. I totally get shipping dando for fun and that Daniel and Lando are buddies but. why pick the guy who's friends with everyone he meets and pretend that is the guy Lando's "secretly in love with" or that they're "more" friends than Lando's other friends... just bc they hang sometimes kasgfkaglh

I've got to stop trying to find any sense in rpf truthers.

but yea Lando and Martin are so sweet together and I hope Martin doesn't have to deal w any of this bullshit in his comments. guy is just enjoying traveling with Lando and vice versa.

(no worries anon I got your intent!)

honestly from a straight up racing perspective it's enough evidence in itself. the fact that Lando has repeatedly said how well Oscar suits McLaren and is pushing him to be his absolute best is all anyone should need.

but also look at the standings! Carlos and Charles, Lando and Oscar - they're doing amazingly well with the current partnerships !! it's why Carlos is so eager to remain where he is, he's already in the best place for him to get not just another race win but a shot at WDC. Lando and Oscar are a natural part of the McLaren youth legacy and Max has pipped them as being his biggest potential headaches in 2024 lol. everything is good and we still get plenty of car|ando content so let's leave it alone!

oh babe I'm sorry that was misleading there's no extensive drama (that I know of) back when I started following Lando content I noticed that the LN4 account (mainly the twitter one) is run by people who get waaaayyyy too into pushing rpf ships for my comfort. I'm massively against containment breaches between fandom to official accounts.

if other ppl enjoy it then it's their choice but it's not my cup of tea!

honestly this is just how it's going to be from here on out. Liberty Media and Netflix already have relationships with certain podcasts and social media accounts and "bromances" are an easy way to get merch, subscriptions and tickets sold. as a sort of fake fan myself I rly can't be on any high horse about "real fans" lol but I do at least keep all my silly shit on tumblr and ao3 alone.

block and unfollow like crazy, anon. eventually your algorithm will learn like mine has!

when has Lando never not been fun ??? he did the screechy laugh Spanglish fun with Carlos, the doofy fake gay fun with Daniel and now he's gen z funny w Oscar whennnn did Lando ever stop being fun oml

babe it wasn't even that, he was replying to the millionth person asking about his and Esteban's lack of personal friendship and he said that no one should assume a friendship between two drivers. he never said "Charles and Carlos hate each other" agflaslfsa as if F1 media wouldn't be all over that

-----

ok so there were two others that I'm not going to screenap bc I do NOT want the heat for those opinions lol.

to answer without being too specific: everyone knows how I feel about people who invent conspiracy theories about girlfriends and wowwww that is a leap. and yea shouldn't the fact that they both went offline when we knew them to be alone together at his ranch actually be evidence that they're really in love and not needing to broadcast it ?? that he only pops back up when he's hanging out w guy friends?

I will have a good laugh that ppl managed to leap to not only them having broken up in the past week with zero evidence but that Lando suddenly hopped a plane to "comfort him" and finally be a gay couple jesussss

ok guys this is as much time as I can stomach knowing about this side of fandom for a good while.

remember: block, blacklist, gatekeep, stay safe out there xx

[lacefuneral]

hm. i wasnt going to post about it again but. i will. i don't want to put this in the tag but there are spoilers for the last two episodes of the pirate show. so scroll past if you don't want spoiled

but this is less a post about the show and more about. my mental episode. SA discussion tw.

ok so when i saw the episodes last thursday, i saw the implied sex scene and my sexual assault trauma got triggered. really bad. in fact so bad that it pushed me into full blown psychosis that lasted for like 12 hours. and then the subsequent days i felt residual fear.

i instinctively blocked anyone who giffed the scene in question or posted screencaps of it. or made posts celebrating it/making jokes of it. and in some cases blocked people who simply reblogged them.

i realize that people have written meta explaining "no, no really. this is consensual." but one, i don't think a piece of media should have to /require/ that sort of meta and, two, regardless of what was intended by the narrative, the direction taken in the filming of the scene /did/ trigger my sexual assault trauma. i even saw people make horrible posts like "i've seen people say this scene resembles SA to them and actually, THOSE people are spreading rape culture" ???????

anyway. in some cases, i've begun to gradually refollow people (especially former mutuals) that i blocked during my mental health episode. but i'm not quite there yet. i'm still... fragile.

now. i have encountered instances like this before. where media caused me upset (although not nearly to this degree, as this time it involved a comfort character) and like anything else that has triggered me, i've had to approach it with (controlled!) exposure therapy.

unfortunately, controlled exposure therapy would not be possible at this time, as i continue to encounter the scene against my will regardless of what website i am on (which is causing retraumatization). so, after the finale airs, i will likely need to blacklist the OFMD tag for a little while - stop going on AO3 etc. - giving me an entirely clean slate to work with.

but... yeah. i'm in a weird position where something i deeply love has become unsafe for me. where, i could not have guessed in a million years that my comfort character would violently slam his partner against the wall. no communication. no provocation. after his partner very clearly said he wanted to go slow. and that's fucking terrifying to me. i can't help but put myself in ed's shoes. because i would also want to go slow, for my own reasons. and what if my partner didn't care. just disregarded preestablished boundaries. forced himself onto me because of his own selfish desires. while i am trying to comfort him. while i open up about my childhood traumas.

it literally makes me feel physically ill. they could have framed the scene any other way. even if they were "pressed for time." what, they had time to give izzy a musical number but not enough to flesh out one of the most delicate and anticipated scenes of the entire show?

so to me, right now, that scene is my wooden shark. i do not acknowledge it as having happened. maybe that will change eventually? but i have to do that to protect myself.

and like. the response from (some) corners of the fandom to SA victims who were triggered by the ending of episode 6 is nothing short of cruel. i hope you guys learn to be compassionate to others.

[cashtonwoah-blog]

Ashton Irwin, A Million Miles, Part 3

I finally got around to writing this part! Sorry it sucks, enjoy!

*beep beep*

*beep beep*

I could hear machines around me beeping. I attempted to crack open my eyes, and was met by an unpleasant bright light. I attempted to lift my head, but felt dizzy as my head moved from the pillow.

" baby don't move" I could hear someone say to me softly beside me. I attempted to lift my head again to see who was speaking, but felt an incredible amount of pain. I decided to shut my eyes, feeling tears fill them. I could faintly see a shadow casting over my eyes. I opened my eyes, and was met by a Hazel eyed boy staring at me.

"Ash?" I mumbled.

The boy sighed deeply, smiling as he looked at me.

"Y/N, I'm glad you're okay".

"What happened? I remember we were eating breakfast, then we argued and then I went back to the flat an-" I mumbled.

"You had an asthma attack. A serious one" Ashton interrupted. "I managed to get into your apartment just after you collapsed and carried you here to the hospital".

"Oh" I mumbled. I looked up at my surroundings, and all of a sudden felt stiff, like I couldn't move my body.

"They put your neck in a brace just in case, I heard you collapse as I ran to your apartment stairs, you hit the glass dining table as you fell" he said.

"Am I gonna be okay?" I questioned, feeling scared.

"You're gonna be just fine, kid" he replied, smiling and running a finger along my cheek. "Look, about what happened, I-"

"Ash, just forget it. Yeah you hurt me, but maybe we should just let it go for now, at least until I'm out of here" I replied sighing.

"Okay" was all he could reply.

************

"Welcome home Y/N!" I heard the other 5SOS boys scream as you entered the flat. I looked around, and could see all of the boys with their girlfriends, plus gifts and food on the table.

"Thanks guys, but you didn't need to throw a party because I live another day" I laughed.

"We're just glad you're home safe" Calum spoke, handing me a card signed by all the boys.

"We've bought you food, we'll leave you both in peace to chat" Luke said softly, not making eye contact at me. I could feel his awkwardness around me. Ever since our last conversation, I'd chose to ignore him. He was supposed to be my best friend and he didn't ever tell me when my boyfriend cheated on me. I didn't know how I was going to forgive him. All the boys and their girlfriends left the flat, leaving just Ashton and me.

"So" Ashton sighed awkwardly.

"Yup" I replied, sitting down on the couch.

"Listen, I really want to talk to you about what happened" Ashton said, looking directly at me. My eyes scanned to the floor, feeling anxious to hear what came out of his mouth next.

"Okay" was all I could manage to say. Part of me wanted to know exactly what happened, whilst the other part didn't want any thoughts associated with it.

Ashton took a deep breath, walked over to me and sat on the sofa next to me.

"It was after a show in New York. We'd just played a sell out arena and was feeling amazing, but I felt low because you weren't with me. I sat looking at the other boys who got to share such a special concert with their other half's, but not me. I decided to get stupid wasted, drinking copious amounts of beer, vodka, champagne, you name it. It wasn't until I stood up I realised how drunk I was. I stumbled over to the bathroom, and met some girl in the corridor. She was wearing one of our merch tops that was ripped on her chest. She asked me to sign her chest, which I did".

I clenched my teeth at the last part.

"She then pushed me into a corner, wrapping her arms around my neck, asking if I was single. Me being so drunk and wanting this girl to get off me, I said yes. She then proceeded to kiss me, and wouldn't get off. I then pushed her off me, and stumbled back to my apartment. I walked in the front entrance and saw her, the fan. She then invited her self in, and, um, well-"

"I think I can guess what happened next Ashton" I spoke, standing up and walking to my bedroom. I could feel my eyes beginning to form with tears, knowing what this girl had done with him. I felt sick. Yes Ashton had cheated on me, but this girl took him when he was vulnerable.  I walked back into the room, and was met by a sobbing Ashton on the sofa. I walked over to him, wrapping my arms tightly around his back in a hug. I cried onto his shoulder, unsure what to say.

"Y/N please don't think badly of me. I'm so fucking sorry for everything I put you through because I ended it, but in truth I just couldn't face anyone".

"Ashton" I sobbed, not wanting him to continue talking. All I could do was embrace him, stop him from feeling upset.

"This so called fan turned up at another one of our after shows, but this time I was sober. Luke however wasn't, and decided to throw his entire drink over her and kick her out, as well as blacklist her from every party, event or concert. I'm just mad at myself for letting her do this to us. I'm so sorry".

********

"Fuck sake Ash!" I could hear Luke scream at the other side of the field. I laughed from the side lines, watching the boys play football. We were in Madrid, and 5SOS had just played a gig in the city. I decided to join the boys on tour, to clear my head following the past few months. Ashton and I had decided to take some time apart before the tour, to allow ourselves to both mentally heal. Now on tour, we felt stronger than ever.

"Y/N come in goal!" Calum screamed at me, beckoning me over to the pitch. I laughed, running over to the goal. On Calum's team was Michael, Crystal, Sierra and now me. On Luke's team was Ashton, Andy, Mitchy and Jack, Luke's brother. I watched steady from the goal, unable to track where the ball would go to next. I laughed as Ashton tackled Calum hard, making him fall to the ground.

"HEY, foul!" I shouted from my goal.

"Shut up Y/N, stop pretending you know the rules of football" Mitchy shouted.

"HEY don't talk to her like that" Ashton laughed, roughly tackling Mitchy to the floor.

******

I sat round the table, pouring myself another glass of wine. Ashton had requested to take me out for dinner tonight, and I couldn't decline. The restaurant was a beautiful small place with fairy lights everywhere, just along the beach front.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry I put you through everything recently. It wasnt my intention to hurt you." Ashton said sadly.

"Ash, as I've said to you before, it's all OK. You don't need to keep apologising." I reassured him, placing my hand over his, giving it a light squeeze.

"We're good, right?" Ashton said.

"Of course we are babe, now eat your dinner, don't let it get cold" I said, taking another sip of my wine.