#ok i'm oging to bed am too tired goodnight zzz

[chameliyun]

Gonna put this under a cut because it's long and rambly and may or may not make sense lol

My Bible study group has been going through the book of Proverbs lately, and one thing you notice if you read through it is the theme that people who live good lives experience good rewards. And really, all outside factors aside, it makes sense. If you put good in, you get good out, in the simplest terms. But then you also have stuff like the book of Job, where he does everything right, like the book specifically says that he's well known as a righteous man, and he loses everything. His house, his wealth, his kids; and he gets horribly sick on top of it. So as much as it logically follows that doing good leads to good, it's also sometimes just not true.

The funny thing about Christians assuming that their lives are going to be good just because they follow Jesus is that He literally says that won't be true. "In this world you will have trouble" and "[you will be] persecuted for my name's sake" and probably other times I'm forgetting. It's not that there will never be any rewards in earthly life (He loves giving good gifts and blessings), but they shouldn't be the things to look forward to or use as a metric of whether we're living righteously. And they certainly shouldn't flip it around and start making assumptions that people are evil just because they're suffering, OR assume that they're good because they're successful.

The thing you said about "Jesus doesn't care if you're a good Christian" - you're kind of right. If you're saved, nothing can change that. The three parables (lost sheep, lost coin, prodigal son) are more about celebrating finding the one who's lost. But that doesn't mean that He just ignores the ones who are saved - He saves people because He loves them, and thanks to being God He doesn't have any limits on doing that for as many people as accept that love.

I think you're right that suffering is often just suffering (as in, it doesn't imply any moral judgment). But it's also not *just* suffering - it can reveal things about you, teach you things, give you tools to help others, etc. I believe that God's goal is to bring people to Himself, through whatever ways work for each person (and sometimes - or even often - don't make sense to us), and that often works best under pressure. And it's not like He didn't also suffer - that's why He can be there for us in our weakness and distress, because He's gone through it too.

One of the biggest eye-openers for me back when a I went to church was that like…

Oh man how do I explain it.

There’s this prevalent idea I see a lot in Christian circles that if you pray right, if you follow God correctly, if you’re a truly virtuous person, your problems will be solved, right?

If you suffer, if you fall ill, if bad things happen, it’s because you aren’t good enough. You don’t need medicine because if you’re worthy, if you’re faithful enough, God will reward you by healing you. Right?

But like. Discussing this with my mother, and travelling out east with our pastor… Jesus didn’t spend all his time with perfect, virtuous people. Jesus didn’t seek out and heal well-to-do, faithful, perfect Christians. In fact, there’s a specific story in which he straight up doesn’t travel out to heal a believer’s dying daughter, because she’s already “saved”. Her earthy death is okay because she’s going to heaven already.

And like… coming from our Pastor, who is one of the best guys I’ve ever met- there seems to be an ongoing, underlying message of, “Jesus doesn’t care about you if you’re a good Christian”. If you’re a good Christian, if you’re living a virtuous life on earth, then any suffering you experience is only temporary- your ETERNITY is secure. Jesus goes out of his way to meet with sinners and the unfaithful because those are the people whose souls are in danger.

So like. In that perspective, being good doesn’t make your life better, it’s just good for others and good for your soul. Praying and doing good probably won’t cure your cancer, but it may mean you don’t have to worry too much about your death.

And like. I dunno. I wouldn’t call myself a Christian, but I find myself thinking about that concept a lot

Does suffering mean you deserve a reward?

Is suffering proof that you’re unworthy?

Or is suffering just an unfortunate facet of life that doesn’t reflect on your worth, that you still have to deal with as best you can?

Maybe suffering is just suffering.

Maybe the bad things you experienced weren’t about you

And maybe you just gotta try your best and be kind anyways, so you can rest easy when you go