#ok but. can't they... not be? it should be easy. pick up painting my good friend

[leatherbookmark]

me: i still haven’t finished forbidden colours. its a penguin book, it’s very nice to the touch. i should pick it up again perhaps

the book, opened on a random page: a woman who is complimented feels, spiritually, something familiar to prostitutes.

me: closes the book.

[moodymisty]

I mean you got anything sweet for Blood Angels...

Though my brain keeps jumping to Flesh Tearers but I feel like that's just me trying to get myself to write for Flesh Tearers (and Lamenters)

(Rambling idea below)

I mean lets be honest Blood Angels are ultimate predators for humans... being so handsome I mean Sanguinius was often called ethereal and other worldly with his beauty. So of course his sons are handsome and all so well bred for the arts... easy to lure in many humans to just listen to their prose or see their paintings.

Just don't show up during your period because suddenly a lot of the poetry is about blood or blood adjacent... they can't seem to find the right red paint... and why do so many of them look at you like they are dying of thirst?

[ 𝕸𝖔𝖔𝖉𝖞𝕸𝖎𝖘𝖙𝖞'𝖘 𝕸𝖆𝖘𝖙𝖊𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖘𝖙 | 𝕬𝖔3 ]

Author’s note: Do I have something for Blood Angels- BOY DO I! Enjoy! I didn't exactly do your idea but I've had this plot in my head for weeks and wanted to use it and you're ask was the only one that let me /sob Not my best work by far, but I hope you enjoy.

Relationships: Unnamed Blood Angel/Fem!Reader

Warnings: NSFW, Oral, Period blood kink/menstrual kink that type of stuff, Is this too weird? maybe I dunno you guys all seem like freaks so hopefully this will go over well? If not I can just return to my dungeon

"Why are we going this way?"

This is a long way around, though some of the Red Tear's maintenance areas. He doesn't answer you however, and with disgruntlement you let the question lie as you return to more civilized parts of the Red Tear.

This whole interaction has been odd, since he had picked you up to escort you back from your duties. Normally he doesn’t act like this; He's stoic and lacks a good bit of emotion yes, but you almost feel as if now he’s taking you to your execution.

"I thought you were missing,"

You had jokingly said, walking closer to him. This planet had been pleasant enough after the Blood Angels brought it under the Imperium, but you're quite eager to return to Terra. Or at least the Red Tear.

He ignored your little comment and stepped closer, but you noticed his face change when he got close enough to touch you. His body became more rigid, and you furrowed your brow as you looked up at him.

"Are you ok?" You say as he clears his throat and nods stiffly. "Yes. We should return to the Red Tear. Our work here is done."

You look up at him again try and get any sort of hint as to how he's feeling, but he only has that same, stiff expression; Though slightly more irritated than usual.

You round yet another corner to see a group of freshly armored Blood Angels leaving one of the armoring rooms. They all perk up at the sight of you, staring at you like something fierce. You get more than a bit uncomfortable under their gaze, until your supposed guardian grabs your arm and swiftly pulls you down the hall past them. He glares at them to keep their distance, and you grab at his gauntlet to try and relieve some of the pressure. You're arm is in pain from how tight he's pulling you along, until you stop in front of a room he opens.

It's not your own, so you presume it's his. He shoves you inside.

"Stay here."

As a diplomat you technically reside outside the command structure of the Blood Angels, but no one in their right mind would disobey an astartes. Especially one that is looking at you with such fire in his eyes. He turns to leave, but your sudden question makes him turn towards you again.

"What is all this? Why are you-" He grabs you tight at the shoulder, and you gasp in pain as the force of it pins you to the wall.

"Why do you smell like blood?"

You pull at his hand and grimace in pain, and at his oddly specific question.

"What? It's just normal, It's that time of the-" He lightly shakes your shoulder and despite speaking relatively quiet, his voice still hits you in the chest with out seething it sounds.

"Every one of my brothers on this ship can smell you. You're lucky I got to you before one of them did."

Even if they did, why does he speak of it like something would happen? Like he avoided it for a reason? He's talking as if you would be in danger if they found you, for something seemingly so simple.

“What would happen if they did?”

You quietly question, watching the expression on his face instantly change. He looks conflicted, like he’s nearly lost in thought. For awhile you think you may not even get an answer from him, until you finally see his lips shift.

“I, assume you’ve heard mutterings of a curse in your time here.”

You have vaguely- even he had cursed it once. At the time you'd assumed it some sort of unfamiliar swear or perhaps just an odd phase adopted by Blood Angels, and so you'd paid it little mind other than the initial confusion. When you hesitantly nod, he continues.

“The curse is real. It has changed our legion. And,” You figure he’s about to speak a secret he shouldn’t to someone like you, so you stay quiet.

“It makes the smell of blood, tempting.” He continues. “It sates a hunger only we Blood Angels possess, and keeps us from going raving mad.”

He quiets, and you feels his gauntlets shift on your shoulders. He changes the subject to something adjacent; You assume he probably feels guilt for confessing a chapter secret to you.

“You’re not hurt?” He says confusedly. You aren’t particularly surprised he knows little about such things, though explaining it to him in this state would take far too long and be far too unfruitful.

“No. I'm fine.” He hums. You think you hear him mumble about hearing such a thing from somewhere, a woman's illness, and the comment would make you laugh if he wasn't looming down on you so intensely.

“Very well.” He shifts his jaw a bit, the scars along it shifting. He seems to have run out of things to say, though it also seems like he can't pull himself away from you. His throat and jaw are tightly wound, like he's holding something back.

“You want some… Don’t you?”

He seems surprised oddly enough; Perhaps by your bluntness and stupidity. Many legions would not take kindly to you assuming things about them, but Blood Angels are remarkably kinder. He is remarkably kinder.

“I," He grimaces. "I would owe you a great deal. Our superiors look at those with the Red Thirst as little more than a danger.”

The Blood Angels have been nothing but kind to you, in their own way. To even just be on the Red Tear is a safety and security you couldn’t repay.

It helps that it's him; You haven't ventured far around the Blood Angels ship alone, and you shamefully feel yourself beginning to get attached. If this curse can be sated by something so seemingly menial to you, then you have no reason to refuse.

“Ok.”

You move to take off your pants hands shaking just barely in nervousness, as he drops to his knee with one heavy thud. The sound startles you, just as your pants fall to the floor.

Once they’re off, and just your underwear remains, you hesitate for a moment. His stare is so intense, and you don't know how to describe it other than hungry. Given what he's told you, it makes perfect sense.

After what feels like and eternity of you being frozen, you finally manage to regain enough control to peel your underwear away. He viscerally reacts to the presumably iron filled scent, and the sight of blood against your now bare skin.

You see the way the knot in his throat bobs just above the black skinsuit beneath his armor.

With a speed that has you almost letting out a scream he grips your hips pulls them forward enough that the angle feels precarious, but he has a solid enough grip that leaves no chance of you falling. He throws your right leg over his shoulder next to open your thighs, your foot pressing against the front of his jetpack.

He hesitates for a moment, and you look away from the sheer intensity of his expression before you feel his hot breath on your skin.

You feel the moment he finally takes a taste and you can barely hold in a whimper, it coming out a tiny squeak as you feel the way his hands shift and tighten against your hips. Any hesitation he had is gone near instantly, as he presses his mouth against your cunt.

His armored hands grip at your hips with a strength that makes you ache and fear bruises, easily keeping your legs spread with minimal effort as his tongue laps at your folds. You can see the blood smear across his face, though he pays no mind. He acts as if this is the first meal he's had in ages, or the last he'll ever have.

But while perhaps your pleasure might not be at the forefront of his mind in his quite literal bloodlust, the way his tongue slips between your folds and teases you still makes shivers go up your spine. Your hands grip his hair and attempt to steady yourself, as his strength pushes you around. It's impossible to stop the way your hips push forward trying to get closer to him, gasping as he briefly brushes around your clit.

Suddenly however he pulls himself away, mouth stained much the same as your cunt and upper thighs are. You can see his eyes are glassy his throat bobs.

"I should stop."

He mumbles something to himself about loosing himself further to the Thirst, as if he's treading a line between sating his hunger or falling victim to it. You, perhaps stupidly, encourage him to do the exact opposite.

"No, no just, just a bit more,"

You breathlessly whisper and attempt to pull him closer. He silently resists for a moment, before the knot in his throat bobs and he returns his mouth to between your legs. You can't stop the loud moan you let out into the barren room, damning the consequences of anyone hearing you.

You're so close to that peak you only need a bit more, and the way his teeth scrape against your skin and nose presses against your clit gets you there. Your hands tighter in his hair and you inhale, trying not to cry out. But even after you start to come down he continues, his mouth overstimulating so many little nerves you feel on the edge of tears. Your face is hot as your fingers grip at his armor, desperately whining for him to simultaneously stop, and never stop.

He pulls away again, and gently emoves your leg from his shoulder to let you stand and wobbly attempt to yourself. Your knees feel weak and so many of your muscles are sore, even though he was exceedingly gentle with you.

Realizing his face is a mess, he uses the fabric of his cape to wipe it; How fortuitous the fabric is red.

"You should still keep clear of my brothers until this, passes. You never know how close one of them is to loosing themselves and hurting you." You'll heed the warning. If they're anything more than what gusto he already displayed, you wouldn't be surprised angels more lost to the thirst would be dangerous to you. He displayed a remarkable degree of restraint, you could tell.

Though, a curious part of your mind wonders what he'd be like if he hadn't.

"Do you at least feel better? I don't know how the Thirst works but," He nods.

"Yes. It is nice to not have my head so clouded. I... Thank you."

You smile, before accidentally letting more words tumble out of your lips that you should've allowed. It seems his presence always seems to makes you accidentally forget how to not act a fool.

"Always happy to help." He takes your phase at face value, though you suppose you wouldn't refuse him if he asked again. It wasn't as if this ended badly for you.

"You are kind, offering yourself to a Blood Angel. Not many would."

Beyond their sophisticated veneer they are still dangerous predators more than capable of killing you with the slightest motion, you understand why any few who learn about their supposed defect would fear them.

Maybe something is clouding your judgement, but you don't fear him; At least not yet.

Adjusting your clothing you watch as he rises to his full height, his cape flowing behind him. You grip your own fingers nervously and look around.

"But, would you mind bringing my back to my own quarters? I'll admit I have no idea where on the ship you brought me, and I'm still a bit woozy." He offers a gentle but stoic smile.

"Of course."

[undead-cypress]

More p3r livebloggin/shitpost thoughts. Sorry for the crunchy pictures, literally I'm just too fried to import pics from my PS4.

Because I'm the way that I am, I noticed the paintings hung in the Hierophant/Lovers boss shadow building are real paintings. One on the left is a crop of Liberty Leading the People by Eugene Delacroix, and on the right is Le Cyclops by Odilon Redon. IDK why they picked these paintings because. Why would a painting of the French Revolution be in this kind of hotel but I have some theories?

The hotel they're in is pointed out to have a French title and modeled after French design, for some reason. Les Champs de Fleurs is pointed out in the game meaning a field of flowers. Now -

Liberty Leading the People is a painting about the July revolution that overthrew the French monarchy. The boss event is in July but there's more -

Le Cyclops is about the play(s) about Polyphemus (the cyclops from the Odyssey that Odysseus blinds and tricks) and his love of the sea nymph Galatea, and the drama that ensues. There's many versions of the play but in classic fashion most of them don't end well, with Galatea rejecting him in favor of someone else, and Polyphemus killing them both. This painting in particular is basically Polyphemus creeping on Galatea as she sleeps on a hill of flowers.

I THINK these paintings are meant to represent the reverse hierophant and lovers. Overthrowing of the corrupt hierarchy, and rejection of choice. Also French.

There's one more painting but I have NO IDEA what painting it is

So many paintings have winged babies in them I can't go through them all 😭

Oh yeah linguistics bonus - the boss event takes place on 7/7, aka Tanabata. Some might know it as Japanese Valentine's day. Story goes Orihime and Hikoboshi, lovers separated by duty and the milky way, can meet during this festival as a flock of magpies make them a bridge over the milky way. Milky way, in Japanese is Amanogawa 天の川, literally "river of heaven". An older version is also sometimes used, ginka 銀河, derived from Chinese meaning "silver river". And here is where we get the name of Shirakawa Blvd. 白川...... White River Blvd.

I THINK that's why they named the hotel Champs de Fleurs. The classic Greek mythology of heaven is Elysium, basically a field of flowers in the sky. Kinda as the companion to the river in the sky. Not to mention it's a reference to the famous French street Champs Élysées, literally "Elysian Fields"

Imagine me standing in front of a conspiracy wall covered with red string. That's me all the time with p3

Ok back to shitposting

This is the most emotion I've seen the Mc make all game so far 😂 7 meals back to back will do that to ya. Name I picked was Dank Hour, so I guess it kinda fits. Munchies will do that

Those are her hooves!!

OH MY GOD. HOLY SHIT HANG ON

These puppets are massive

Gameplay thoughts -

- I miss the fatigue mechanic ok. Now there's NOTHING stopping me from spending five hours in Tartarus getting massively over leveled. Also miss it thematically and an excuse to go drink Edogawa's potions for courage boosts

- RIP shuffle time. The new one is good with the variety of cards but man make them fly around again that was fun

- Tartarus looks good. I was skeptical of how they're gonna make a randomly generated dungeon look good on current consoles but. It looks really good and plays well. And I love the added bonus bosses.

- I do miss being able to actually stealth around with different weapons and hunting rare shadows with a bow though. The unstable formations in p3p around half and new moons were also something I wish they incorporated, but maybe it'll come up later? Because the new Tartarus environment would be perfect for some stealth mechanics.

- I don't know if this is because I'm p3 Georg and an outlier that should not be counted but I'm playing on merciless and it's SO EASY???? I'm almost to August and I've ONLY died three times. I'm playing with a 3 people party as a debuff because it's too easy otherwise.

- ailments kinda work different than they used to and I still haven't figured out... What they really do yet. Distress used to guarantee criticals, now I'm not sure what it does???

- the theurgies are broken as hell wtf. This is too much power. I was really hoping they'd bring P2/dds style fusion spells back

General thoughts:

- they still haven't invented weather yet lmao rain was invented in 2011 I see

- Pleasantly surprised by the added cutscenes and hangout events in the dorm. They're actually pretty thoughtful and reflects on the character growth throughout the game instead of just ill humored filler (cough p4 cough). They really nailed it this time.

- Aigis trying to talk to plants and bugs and the meaning of lifeeeee 😭

- the club is simultaneous hilarious and terrifying in the way that they didn't animate the dancers. I get why, but it's so funny. It's just a room of statues with blank faces. At least there's more than five people there

- there's two poster of the Foo Fighters in the station outskirts. Why them specifically? Also if the movies at the theatre have hidden meanings I WILL find them.

- Mitsuru just stands like she's posing for the camera all the time and her idle AND angry animation being a hair flip is so funny. Hello. Flips hair. Come to the command room after dinner we have new mission. Flips hair. I'm going to execute Mr Ekoda for his despicable inaction. Flips hair

- Idk where else to put this but that scene on the roof with the watermelon hits different when you know a watermelon that size in Japan is, depending on the season and economy, at least $50. Junpei really splurged there to cheer up Ken 🥺. That entire scene was great. Why DON'T we watch Akihiko punch the melon open, what an inspired suggestion

- speaking of fruit, if you look at the care package Akihiko got from his parents there are mangoes in there. Mangoes that size and color are like $30 each.

- the dorm. Could be modeled better. Idk if it's the lighting or the textures but... It looks unfinished.

- they kept the little overworld icon that travels between locations to not go over the bridge even though it'd be a shorter route. Nice. There is an instance where it does use the bridge, when you first go to the police station and Junpei is following you around. Also very nice touch. Whichever dev is responsible for this detail I see and appreciate your work 🫡

- was not expecting even the NPCs to be fully voice acted. They're all so charming!

- at the beginning of the game it tells you to put your things away in the closet. Highlighted. But we can't open or interact with the closet in any way??? Why was closet highlighted??? Did the game do that just to call us gay??

- and also where's my silly outfit???? Everyone has gotten butler and maid outfits except the mc. Where's my goofy outfit I want one too.... Where's the clown outfit from the dancing game.... Where's the maid outfit.... Once my pc arrives I'll absolutely be installing the emo mod. Let my besties reveal their true 2009 forms

[nothorses]

sorry to bring this to your inbox but i got nowhere else to bring it and i need a yell. I was going through the transgender tag for more information on the CEO's transmisogyny debacle and came across a post that started out by stating that transmisogyny has been on the rise on tumblr as a whole; reasonable and true. but they started their list of examples with "1. The entire concept of transandrophobia" and I just.

What the goddamn hell is wrong with you*? (not YOU you THEM you) Why the fuck are you throwing your trans brothers under the bus for the actions of a pissbaby CEO? There's a wave of false reports and deletions - TARGETING TRANS WOMEN - and your response is to try and shift the target to transmascs for... talking about their experiences? Your response to outside harassment is to try and spark more infighting? What's your fucking problem????? We need to be coming TOGETHER not picking a fucking target to spit on!!! Christ alive. And people wonder how it's so easy for terfs to turn us against each other. God.

Ok rant over thanks for listening

I just want to challenge your wording here a little bit; did you check this person's blog and how they identify? Do you know if they're a trans woman, a trans man, nonbinary, etc.? Even what they might have said on their blog about how they identify should be scrutinized- we don't actually know who this person is, and they could for sure be lying. It's really, really useful for people outside of our communities who want to stir shit up to pretend they're not outsiders at all.

The post you're describing is horrible either way, and you're 100% right that it's stirring up harmful infighting. I think it's really easy to see that kind of thing and think, "oh my god, people are falling for it! they're actually fighting each other now!!"

It's a scary thing to see, and it's incredibly hard to ask critical questions when we're afraid, or otherwise emotionally activated like that. And there's nothing wrong with being emotionally activated, either; of course you are! That's some really hateful, really wrong, and really dangerous shit! Sentiments just like that one have caused so much harm to our community, and so much harm directly to individual, vulnerable people- probably people you know. Certainly people I know.

But it's reactions from that state of emotional activation that lead to the success of these kinds of infighting campaigns. We get activated, we make assumptions and act from that activated place, other people get activated and do the same, and the cycle continues.

What's worse, you're the only person who saw the post in question; I can only react to what you're telling me. I can't go look at the post, check OP's blog, and answer any critical questions about the nature of the situation. I have no way of knowing whether this person might be transfem, or just a TERF trying to stir shit up. I don't even know if the OP was an anon ask sent to someone else. I don't know how many notes the post got, or how big OP's audience is; I can't really conceptualize the amount of harm the post has done. I don't know if anyone has debunked it in the notes, or if OP has since posted an update denouncing that original sentiment.

Again, that's not to invalidate your emotional response, or even really question how honest you're being here. For all I know, you did check all of those things, and this is worse than I think it is. It certainly seems pretty realistic to me, just based on my own experiences with these kinds of conversations.

I just want to push back on that wording a little bit because like... as much as it is a real problem that a lot of transfems really firmly believe that Transmascs Talking About Cis People Being Transphobic To Us is the most serious & urgent form of transmisogyny facing the transfem community today, it's also a real problem that transmacs will jump on that same line of thinking in an effort to paint themselves as "one of the good ones".

Cis women will often throw transmascs under the bus in the same way in order to avoid Cis Guilt, oftentimes avoiding talking about their cis positionalities- which leads people to assume that, because they're talking about trans issues so much, they must be trans themselves! Which, again, perpetuates this illusion that "the trans community is full of infighting" and that much more dangerous to various trans people.

(Granted, this is a complicated issue; I don't think it's wrong for cis people to talk about these things, and I don't think trans people should have to out themselves in order to do so, either- but I have absolutely seen this pattern taken advantage of by hateful anons, TERFs, radfems, and cis women who revel in being called "honorary trans women" for bashing transmascs frequently enough.)

Is this post demonstrating the success of cis people's efforts to stir up infighting in the trans community, or is it just an example of cis people trying to stir up infighting? And if you know it's the former, how do I know? How do all of my followers know? Is it better to understand it as one vs. the other?

I'm sorry this got so long and off-topic; I'm sure this isn't what you were looking for when you sent me this ask, and I'm sorry for criticizing your wording over providing the emotional reassurance you probably needed a lot more than this. And also, I do feel a responsibility to think about the people reading asks before I think about the people sending them (particularly if they're on anon), and I felt this was the message that most needed to be received from anything I could say in response. I hope you're able to find the emotional reassurance you need regardless, and I appreciate you bringing this to me in the first place. 💙

[thecultofcupid]

ROTTMNT Headcanons:

i decided that i wanted to infodump about my headcanons for the turtles specifically :> due to the fact that I am a fictive, this is influenced a little bit by our fictives/exomemories. but YEAH i just wanted to ramble a lot and you should go stream rottmnt and support the team bcuz it deserves all the love in the world yeah ok lets go

Leo

extremely transmasc. like this guy is so transmasc

uses he/him pronouns exclusively but would probably accept being misgendered purely for comedic effect (only by his family or friends tho)

says he's bisexual but he prefers to call himself queer

tell me this man does not have ADHD you can't

acts superior to hide his debilitating inferiority complex

struggles with insomnia. has developed ways of managing his sleeping problems, but they still win out every now and then

Post-Movie

deals with PTSD-related dissociation. it's pretty damn bad

the WORST internalized ableism you've ever seen

loses the arm anyway. my headcanon is that krang prime got ahold of it as his siblings were pulling him out of the portal

the worst patient you've ever seen. he is constantly plotting escape

almost constantly wearing a knee brace. he's supposed to use crutches but often tries to get away with not doing so. has a wheelchair for bad pain days but he refuses to use it most of the time bc he's stubborn

insomnia gets way worse, partly due to night terrors and partly due to chronic pain. sleep does not come easy to this guy

Raph

bigender; she/him pronouns with a preference for fem terms

likes who she likes; doesn't feel the need to put a label to his sexuality

she is autistic bc I said so

PLURAL!! she has OSDD-1a and has a system of 3 or 4 other alters not including herself (Mind Raph is kind of up in the air for me, but the others are Little Red, Angel, and Savage)

dislikes swearing, in part because Little Red picks up on it and will not stop once he starts /hj

Post-Movie

blind in right eye bc of the krang

most of his complications are PTSD related; nightmares, dissociation, etc

was always a bit mindful of his size compared to his surroundings/family, but after the movie, it becomes a lot more prevalent. she is terrified of hurting her loved ones again

nerve damage in one arm from opening the portal; causes pain/numbness/tingling and minor muscle spasms. Donnie made compression gloves to help with this

Mikey

genderfluid; shifts between she/he/they pronouns

aroace

ADHD

LOVES body art. will always have something new painted onto his arms or plastron

since he can't really reach his carapace to paint on it, he convinces his siblings to let him paint on theirs. will often be found in Donnie's lab painting their carapace while they work

loves hanging out in Donnie's lab while they work

Post-Movie

suffered the worst in terms of damage to his arms

deals w chronic fatigue and brain fog after opening the portal

wears compression gloves from Donnie almost 24/7. has to be reminded to take them off

Donnie

nonbinary/autigender. uses they/them pronouns primarily, but also uses he/him and it/its on occasion. loves telling people that they "identify as a threat"

THE disaster bisexual

WEAPONIZED AUTISM

doesn't get enough sleep not because they're an insomniac, but because they hyperfixate on projects for days at a time and will not sleep until either a) they're done working, b) one of their siblings forces them to go to bed, or c) they simply crash on their desk out of exhaustion

for a self-proclaimed genius, they're not very good at taking care of themselves

has nonverbal episodes and uses sign language to communicate during them. however, he and Leo both learned morse code as well so they could have their own "secret language" that only they understood

the worst eyesight. like it's god awful. they wear custom-made contacts when they're outside the lair, but they also have glasses for days when they can't be bothered

has bitten every member of his family at least once

has eaten the family goldfish before (not Piebald)

has claw-like scars across their carapace from the shredder. change my mind

Post-Movie

scarring on carapace from Technodrome and being ripped from the control panel. it looks worse than it is

has trouble eating due to sensory issues

suffers from tactile hallucinations. has to have something on their shell at all times

has seizures resulting from the Technodrome connecting with his central nervous system

that's all i have rn. there's so many headcanons that I didn't include here just cus it'd be a mess but pls ask me questions cus I love talking about these guys. and ofc ask questions about other characters as well, not just the turtles!! i wanna do more art featuring some of our headcanons as well so look forward to that >:))

[agerewithliam]

ep 1 / part 3

The first flight was landing, and Eva and Axel rushed out, leaving everyone behind as they followed, and they went in the tip box outside the airport. Eva: "Make your way to Museo Nacional De Bellas Artes and find your next clue. Come on Ax!" Eva says, as they get into a cab. Axel: "por favor!" Then followed by everyone else. Alejandro and Heather in confessionals: Alejandro: "I was raised in a spanish family, the language is on the back of my palm. Communicating with the locals was extremely easy because of my experiences." Heather: "So we should have this leg set and ready to go." Using his language to tell the driver to speed up, the easily get there first. "Ok, come on amor..." Alejandro says, and he reads the clue. "Detour... Search or Store?" Chris voices over to explain the challenges. Chris: "A detour is a task where there is two options, but you only have to complete one. In search, teams must go into this refined art museum and search for a famous artwork symbolizing Argentina, called "Nocturnal." Teams could finish fast, but they could quickly get lost due to the size. In store, teams must place 5 pieces of artwork in a certain section in a museum. It could be easy, because of the small space, but they could mess up on placement. "Want to do Store?" "Sure." They went to store, and the other teams quickly came in. Bowie and Raj and Duncan and Scott pick Search, and Eva and Axel pick store. With Bowie and Raj: "Ok babe... so all we need to do is find this painting... so you look over here." "Ok Bows!" He said, going that way. "Let's hope he doesn't get distracted..." With Axel and Eva: "Axel, I can't get the stupid painting in the way the guy wants it..." Eva said, her temper rising. "It's alright, Eva, just try and see what your doing wrong." "Alright..." She says. "Your doing good with not getting too mad." "Oh.. thanks." Eva responded, with a slight smile. She sighed. "Is this good?" She asked the judge. The judge nodded and gave two thumbs up. "Very good." The judge gave Eva the clue. "LETS GO AXEL!" Ava said. She wasnt mad though, she just wanted to make sure she was listening. Eva + Axel - In 1st place. "Route info. Make your way to Tango Porteno and search for your next clue." "Lets go." They got in the taxi. Alejandro: "Come on amor, they're already gone." "I'm trying Alejandro..." Confessional: Heather: "It was hard. The judge wanted it at a precise angle." About 20 minutes later... "Very good." The judge hands Heather the clue. "Make your way to Tango Porteno... ok come on!" They got in the taxi and left. Meanwhile, the second flight had just landed, and everyone was going for the museum. "Katie look, the museum is so pretty!" "I know, right Sadie?" Confessional with Dawn and Ella: Dawn: "We were very grateful to be there. To see other people's cultures and ways of life we're amazing." Ella: "I know, it was amazing!" Crimson and Gwen got to the clue box after those two. "Wanna do search?" Gwen asks. Crimson: "Why not?" Dawn was particularly good at search. "Check, please!" Dawn said. The judge came up. "Very good." The judge handed Dawn the clue. "Thank you." That launched the two into 3rd place, due to Bowie and Raj and Scott and Duncan struggling. Not too long after, they both got it and went to the next place. Meanwhile with Eva and Axel... "It's a roadblock... "Who's ready to dance like everybody's watching?" "I'll do it." Axel says. Chris: "In this Roadblock, the chosen contestant must dance the Argentine Tango in front of a 5,000 person audience." Meanwhile back with the other teams... "Katie, it's supposed to be placed like that." "Ohhh, ok!" Katie says with realization, and places it the way Sadie said to. "Correct." The judge says, handing them the clue. "Eeeeek!" They screamed in happiness. Meanwhile, Jen and Lindsay had some issues. "I can't find the dumb museum, Lindsay." Jen said with a pissed tone. "It's right there!" Lindsay shouts. "Oh, good eye!" She says, grabbing the clue... "Wanna do store?" "Sure!" Lindsay says.

[aajjks]

BC!JK

you can't believe it. the man you want to take you out on a date has never taken a woman on a date in his entire life. it's shocking news because (not to be mean but..) jungkook has been with various women. although you aren't aware how long his string of women are you were expecting him to have taken at least ONE GIRL on a date but what he's telling you or rather confessing to you is that he never has and has no clue on what to do on a date. you wonder if this should be looked at like a red flag because in some cases, this is a red flag.

he must have messed around a lot.

you're sure at least one of these girls asked him out and he either broke their heart or rejected them.

you don't think too much about it but your shock is obvious and you can understand why he never asked. women came easy to him. with his looks and wealth combined, who wouldn't want to be with a charming guy like him? well, you didn't but look at where you are now and despite the disbelief you feel, jungkook tells you that he wants to make this experience the best for you. FOR YOU.

how sweet because this date should be just as memorable for him as well but you know just how centered you are in his world.

its been like that since the both of you were 19.

"wow, you've never been on a date? not even one?"

not one.

"huh. well, i guess i can teach you a few things, and don't think i didn't catch your little pun there" you wink before putting your hand up to your face in a thinking pose.

where is a good place to start for a date?

"lesson number one, choose a place that's fun for you and your person of interest. i'm not sure what are hobbies are but i love to paint, obviously, i love food, and uhhhh...i like amusement parks despite me being a huge wimp when it comes to rollercoasters" before you can continue, jungkook's mother calls for the both of you to return to the dining room.

"JUNGKOOK! I KNOW YOU ARE NOT SCREWING THAT BROAD IN MY HOUSE! COME HERE RIGHT NOW!!" she yells.

"pick a fun place then text me the date and time okay? we better hurry up before your mom throws something at me" you joke as you fix yourself up a bit before looking at jungkook.

you gasp "oh my gosh, there's a mark on your face! i-i didn't mean to hit you that hard. your mom is going to kill me" you bring your hand to jungkook's cheek and rub the small hand mark on his face from when you slapped him.

"here, slap me back so we can be even"

“ Are you fucking insane or what? YN… don’t suggest shit like this..” he whispers angrily, because how could you even suggest him slapping you? Even when he used to bully you, he never physically struck you.

Maybe he pushed you, but that was it. “ honestly, your slap isn’t really that big of a deal…. Got me a little hard but you know…” he giggles, winking.

Your expressions are adorable, because you make a gagging sound at that. “MOM WE ARE NOT FUCKING!” he roll his eyes because he wishes that you two were but maybe that day will come soon. “ OK then I’ll text you all the details now. Let’s just go and enjoy our meal he says, sighing, I’m just like that he takes your hand and it and guides you back to the dining room.

There is his father and mother, his mother is rolling her eyes at something his father probably said. What is Mother’s problem? She’s always so mean. “Here we are.” He announces his presence suddenly, and the couple seem to stop bickering.

His father’s attention is back on you and it’s bugging him a little because he’s so focused on you. “Father- you are staring.” he rolls his eyes, because why would anyone look at you for too long?

Jungkook sits back down and his mother is quick to point out his red right cheek. “Ugh It’s nothing I tripped.” He shrugs and you get a little awkward, but then his father starts to converse with you.

“Yn?! After the desert I’ll take you home… and I got you a little gift…” jungkook rudely interrupts your conversation because he doesn’t like him when your attention is not focused on him. He’s toxic like that but you’ll have to get used to that.

Jungkook doesn’t bother to reply to both of his parents question about gift until a servant comes in with a Tiffany and Co. Shopping bag.

His mother is definitely surprised, his father doesn’t really care, because he is still busy staring at you, “yn… I got you a pendant… I hope you like it.” He gives you a goofy smile.

You are his crush after all.

“please wear it.” he requests to you as he gets up from his seat and takes the shopping bag from the servant and puts it on your lap.

[ultimate-distaster-material]

-Saiou Oneshots- Despair Disease P3

!TW! Implied Panic Attacks Implied Anorexia Mentions Blood I think that's all lol

KOKICHI POV

"Good morning, Oma-Kun! Did you sleep well? I heard from Kiibo that you were asleep for two days..."

Ah, Akamatsu. She was always positive, no matter what the circumstances. It made me insanely jealous...

"I slept really well, nishishi! Hey, are you willing to do a favor for your favorite supreme leader?"

Akamatsu nodded with a small smile. My lips curved upwards.

"Ok then, peasant! Carry your precious leader to the hall, my legs feel like jelly and I'm too tired to walk!"

Akamatsu-San didn't notice the truth I told, carefully picking me up and running swiftly to the hall. She felt as if this was too easy...

"Oma-Kun, you're very light..."

My eyes widened in shock. I can't even fake my expressions.... With a sigh, I wiggled a bit in her arms, adjusting myself to feel more comfortable.

"Don't overthink it, Akamatsu! I'm small after all!"

She answered with silence, her expression flooded with a wave of concern, and she reluctantly nodded her head.

"You do look very sick, Oma-Kun..."

"Nishishi! Don't worry!"

I tried to word my response in a way that wouldn't expose my truth disease yet told her I was completely fine. Which, by the way, I wasn't. The dining hall doors swung open with a loud thud as Akamatsu and I arrived, the pianist immediately running to the detective, assassin, and inventor.

"Iruma-San! Harukawa-San! Saihara-Kun! Hello! I hope you don't mind that I brought Oma-Kun with me. He asked me to carry him to the dining hall!"

Maki scowled, grabbing one of her pigtails and squeezing them to release her anger. Iruma just had a cocky smirk plastered on her face. I shot her a 'don't even think about sexual shit' glare and she cowered, pressing her legs together. Yuck! Saihara-Kun just had an adorable curious look on his face, a finger to his chin.

"He didn't hurt you or threaten him, did he? If he did, I will fucking kill that asshole!"

"Harukawa-San, please calm down! He did nothing! It's okay!"

Harukawa shot me a glare, then left me alone to talk to Kaede. I wiggled out of the pianist's grasp while she was distracted and stood in front of Shuichi. He looked really tall like this!

"Saihara-Chan, I hate admitting that I, the mighty supreme leader, am short! However, I just had to point out how selfish you are!"

The detective snapped out of his thinking trance with a squeak, peering down at me.

"Oma-Kun...? You look sick, are you okay? Also, what does being short have to do with me being selfish...?"

I smirked, at least I could still tease in this state.

"It's because you're so tall! You could've at least donated some height to me... Also, supreme leaders can't get sick! I'm not fine, nishishi!"

Fuck. Saihara chuckled before looking down at me with a serious expression, his hand coming to press against my cheek. Holy shit holy shitttttt HOLY SHIT HE'S CARESSING MY CHEEK ETWYEUJEHTSGHRT35QVWGDSFJK!!!

"...ma-Kun... Oma-Kun!"

I shook my head, feeling his hand stay put on my cheek. My appearance was basically just my face painted red as if my parents were a strawberry and a tomato.

"Ha! Cockichi is blushing! That little twink is probably thinking about sucking Saihara's d- "

"Iruma-San... Please don't be... Dirty..."

Saihara mumbled, his face turning a bit red. Facing back to me, he let his free hand press against my burning forehead. This hand was removed as quickly as it was placed.

"Oma-Kun! Your forehead is burning! It was as if my hand was pressing against burning metal! You should go see Kiibo-Kun! I'm sure he can check if you have the disease or not! This disease seems pretty bad from what I've heard... I hope I don't get it!"

How do I tell him... I smirked and lifted my hands behind my head, doing my iconic pose, also ignoring the fact that Saihara yelled that out, so everyone heard it.

"Don't worry Sai-Chan! I'm not fine!"

.

.

I hate myself. The stupid disease is fucking ruining my whole act! Everyone is going to find out how I really feel... My whole plan will be ruined... I'll be so vulnerable...

"I knew it! The little shit is trying to give us all that disgusting disease! Speaking of disease, he is a fucking disease even without his sickness! Someone grab Kiibo for fucks sake!"

Nobody moved. Tears pricked my eyes from the insult Maki used. No no no no! I can't cry here! I can't exactly lie my way out of the situation either...

"Maki-Roll! I know he's a shithead and all, but you don't have to be so mean! He's still one of us. Plus, what if the little dude is just unwell? He might not even have the disease! Don't worry little man, you're not a disease!"

Momota heroically boomed his speech, ruffling my hair as he reassured me. Even if he was an idiot, and even if I did want to slap him on the back of his head, he actually made me feel supported. I couldn't help but let a warm smile coat my face, my blush returning a bit since Saihara just moved his hand to caress my face again.

"Whatever, I'm leaving. Don't blame me if any of you get sick and die. He's evil, never trust a liar."

The only sound heard was the sound of Maki's shoes clacking against the tiles as she exited the dining room. (Or as she did that ballerina twirl thing and evaporated.)

"This is such a pain... Nyeh... I want to go back to bed..."

Himiko complained, tiredly leaning against Yonaga as Chabashira pulled her off the artist. They were such lesbians, I swear...

"Let's go Himiko! We don't want to get infected if this degenerate has a disease! I was already in close contact with Saihara-Kun when he got his disease, so let's isolate!"

Himiko didn't even listen, just nodding tiredly as Tenko dragged her around. A happy artist followed them like a loyal dog, despite Tenko's warnings to stay away from 'her beautiful mage'. Saihara-Kun just looked confused.

"Disease...? I haven't gotten any disease, have I...?"

If only he knew. I'm just glad he is better now, but I do hate the fact that he forgot all our actions together when we were sick. Our friendship basically got set back a level...

"Gonta and Kaito can tell you after! Gonta needs to make sure Kokichi is okay! Gonta doesn't want friend to be sick!"

Friend...

"So, Kokichi... Are you sure you don't have the disease...? Ah, humans are so interesting... The way they act to different diseases makes my heart- "

"Ok, let's go back to the dorms, Shinguji-Kun! We can read a bit, does that sound good?"

Amami interrupted, cutting off the anthropologist's crazy speech. In times like these, I'm glad Amami-Kun is still alive... Ryoma and Iruma walked up to the pair.

"Oi, shrimp dicks! Can we tag along with ya? This gorgeous genius is bored as fuck!"

Ryoma just stayed silent, Miu already speaking his request for him. Korekiyo simply nodded and the four of them marched off together, chatting about random things as they traveled to Amami's dorm. The rest of us just stood there in awkward silence, the occasional whispering among us. The silence was so loud...

"So... Oma-Kun. I think being sick in a killing game, especially after a sickness motive is very suspicious. Am I correct to assume that you would prefer not to let people know about your disease?"

Kirumi, you didn't have to say that in front of everyone... Dammit. My foot tapped against the floor, my mind thinking of something to say. I don't trust myself to speak anymore... Ringing sounded in my ears loudly, disappearing after a few seconds. My lips turning into a thin line, I nodded. Inside my mouth, my teeth were digging into my tongue, drawing small spots of blood. This was my attempt at keeping my damn mouth shut.

"O-Oh, Oma-Kun! You shouldn't be here! We do care for you, but you are risking everyone's health... We should get you back to Kiibo, d-don't you think?"

Akamatsu stuttered and cried in fear, clasping a hand over her mouth and nose as if it was a makeshift mask.

"Wait a minute. I want to know what disease he has. Hey, Monokuma! Get your ass over here!"

Kaito yelled, still showing that heroic persona... I wish I had my persona... That stupid bear popped up in thin air, holding a curious paw to his mouth.

"My, my! Kokichi Ouma, ultimate truth teller, shouldn't you be with Kiibo? Or are you living up to your evil talent and trying to infect everyone here? How interesting..."

"Shut the fuck up Monokuma! Nobody likes you! You don't have to reveal everything to everyone like that..."

I shouted, my hands clasping tightly around the bottom of my shirt, sweat soaking into the white fabric.

"Well, I guess that solves everything... Oma, buddy! Am I allowed to ask ya some things?"

Please just shut up Kaito... I lie for a reason...

"I... Don't want you to..."

The astronaut nodded in understanding, a hand combing through his hair as he smiled at me.

"All good little bro! But I really want to know, why were you knocked out for two days?"

"Blood loss."

"Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, man. I hope you get better!"

He gave me a strong slap to the back in reassurance, almost knocking me over from how dizzy I was getting. Sadly, everyone saw the situation as a free pass to ask me sensitive questions about sensitive topics, such as a 'Why do you lie?' from Akamatsu and 'Gonta want to know why Kokichi is acting so evil sometimes!' from a Gokuhara who didn't realize he was invading personal matters. My hands shakily reached up to my ears, harshly gripping them to block out all the overwhelming questions. Tears threatened to spill from the corner of my eyes. It felt as if my lungs were pressing in on themselves, it was progressively getting harder to breathe. I could hear Momota attempting to get everyone to stop, yet nobody listened. I fell to the floor, my thoughts fogged and my body shaking, ears ringing noisily, and sweat dripping like a broken faucet.

"Hey, Oma-Kun? I can see you're overwhelmed. Do you want Saihara-Kun to take you back to Kiibo? I'm sure my brother won't mind!"

Tsumugi silenced everyone. Saihara jolted out of his daze in shock, letting out a squeak. Tsumugi just smiled politely at her brother. I still struggle trying to find out how the hell these two are twins. Shirogane doesn't even have an ahoge...

"Gah! Why me? What if I get the disease!?"

"It's hard to explain... Basically, you're immune after, uhm, what happened..."

Tsumugi explained, confusing all of us. How the hell did she know that?

"Hold on a second, Shirogane-San. How do you know this information?"

Kirumi held a thinking finger to her chin. That's what I was wondering... Shirogane clapped her hands together, walking over to Saihara.

"Oh, I asked Monokuma to put some information on the monopads!"

Ohhhh... That makes sense. Akamatsu walked over to Tojo, just so she wasn't alone anymore, since her 'girlfriend' had left. I'm so glad Iruma isn't here right now...

"That's right! Tsumugi did you all a favor!"

I resisted the urge to step on that dumb bear, making a great effort to stand still and not harm the headmaster in any way, no matter how tempting it was...

"Oh, thank you, sis. But if you guys want, I can take Oma-Kun back, since I am somehow immune. Do I return him to Kiibo in his dorm?"

Kaito nodded and grasped his shoulder after giving him a rough pat on the back, similar to what he did to me.

"Just take him to Kiibs! I believe in ya, sidekick! Everything will be fine! Go get 'em!"

Saihara sighed with a small smile and strolled over to me, picking me up with surprising strength. He waved to everyone, and then left the dining hall, making small talk with me along the way.

"So, Oma-Kun..."

"What is it, Saihara-Chan? I'm super tiredddd..."

"Do you hear that noise? I could hear it from the dining hall and it's still going."

I tried to listen; my ears were blocked and ringing, and I could only hear things a short distance away from me. I lazily shook my head in a sideways motion, causing Shuichi to let out a hum. His hand climbed up my body to my head, gently combing through my purple, silky hair in calming movements.

"Wait... It sounds like... Kiibo...?"

"Kiibo... What? I'm tired, can we please hurry...."

"Sorry Koko."

Shuichi walked slightly faster. Nuzzling into his chest, my eyes fluttered closed, the rocking from the detective's steps lulling me asleep. I faintly registered the fact that Saihara took a wrong turn. Wasn't the robot's room to the left up the stairs...? Was Detective-Chan trying to do something with little old me while I'm in this condition?

"Mister Detective, Robot-Chan's room is to the left..."

I announced groggily, just wanting something cold to cool down my overheating body, and to be laying on a soft bed... Saihara was almost equivalent to a bed's comfort, yet his body heat was making my body feel like it had been set on fire.

"I know."

Was Saihara-Chan secretly a weirdo? I doubt it... He was acting very suspicious though. He opened the door to his room, and I widened my eyes at the surprising sight. Papers were flooding the room, most scrunched up, coffee cups littered the floors, and he had a whole drawer of makeup kits and such.

"Saihara-Chan! I didn't take you for a messy person!"

I wearily commented, grabbing at his face to cling to the back of his head. During the process, I wiped below his eye, and a pale layer of powder with barely noticeable glitter were smudged on my thumb. Looking back up at him, his eyes had deep, black eyebags, as if he didn't sleep for a week.

"Hehe, aren't you quite quick at figuring stuff out, huh? Nothing less expected from the ultimate supreme leader!"

He chuckled, resting me onto the bed and snatching more makeup from the drawer to repair the smudge I caused with my finger.

"No, no! Shumai, come rest with meeee! You're obviously tired, and I care about you! We could both use some sleep..."

I offered, rubbing my eyes sleepily with a yawn interrupting my sentence. All I got in response was a small sigh. Shumai just glanced at me, before drowsily dropping the makeup without a care.

"O-Oh, okay... Let me just get you a wet towel for your head at least..."

His hidden exhaustion was finally taking off its disguise. Shumai almost sleepwalked to steal a wet cloth from the bathroom, practically tripping over nothing every 10 seconds, yet regaining himself quickly. How did he manage to hide this much sleepiness??? My eyes flickered closed, and I was greeted with the relaxing darkness of shut eyelids. Shuichi carefully positioned the cloth comfortably on my forehead, the cool sensation soothing my irritated skin. As I faded into a world of dreams and blackness, the detective wrapped his arms around my body, gentle snores echoing throughout the room as his eyes drooped closed. Both of us passed out as if someone had pressed a power off button, and together, we entered a dreamy state of pleasureful sleep. Maybe having this disease isn't so bad after all...

BONUS SCENE 

"Oma-Kun? Oma-Kun!"

The robot yelled, searching every nook and cranny for the sick supreme leader. Where could he be? The robot had no clue, frantically searching everywhere far and wide. He sighed in defeat and looked at the ground, watching his feet move rhythmically. No! I cannot give up here! Kiibo reassured himself, gathering his motivation and determination again. He walked forward a few meters, still looking down, just like Shuichi probably did with that hat. He was observing the ground as if it were the most interesting thing ever, when he collided with something; Gokuhara.

"Ah! Gonta is sorry, Kiibo! Gonta see Kiibo looking for something, can Gonta help you?"

Kiibo nodded, gazing up from the ground and smiling at the gentle giant.

"I'm searching for Oma-Kun, I went to get him a glass of fresh water, and when I returned, he was nowhere to be seen!"

Gonta's lips formed an 'o' shape, glancing from side to side randomly.

"Gonta see Kokichi in dining hall earlier! Talking about disease!"

"Oma was in the dining hall!? Oh my... Where shall I put this glass off water, I'm tired of carrying it..."

Gonta's pupils transformed into childish sparkles, similar to Kokichi's when he was excited about something.

"Gonta can carry it! So Kiibo doesn't die to water! Robots cannot touch water, or they will malfunction and break! Gonta care for all robots, especially Kiibo. Let me hold the glass of water, Kiibo's metal hands look very slippery and not grippy..."

Gonta carefully took the glass of clean water from the robot, making a quiet comment about how it reminded him of water bugs.

"Gah! Gokuhara-Kun, I never knew you could be so much like Oma! The robophobia...!"

Word Count: 2863

[meruz]

Hey I can't find this in your FAQ so sorry if it's been asked before! Your traditional art is so stunning and vibrant, would you happen to have any brand recommendations for people trying to get into painting? Maybe specific gouche paint, brushes, papers etc. Thank you so much and have a nice day!

no one has ever asked me this before because this is like the first time ive started putting traditional art on my blog! LOL umm to be honest I’m very far from pro on this front, most of my knowledge comes from a handful of classes I didn’t pay a lot of attention to and lots of youtube videos but here’s my recommendations:

Paint

A lot of my paints are winsor newton designer’s gouache because this is what my teachers made me buy when I was a freshman at art school LOL. it’s definitely kind of pricey, I think it’s like $10.99 for a tube which I was NOT a fan of as a college student and is still not my favorite thing now. But they’re overall worth the price if you really want solid, high quality opaque paints. Though I’ve heard their student grade winton paints are decent as well?

I’ve heard less good things about brands like reeves and artist loft... but I think turner is alright? m.graham is supposedly great.

I also bought a set of holbein acryla gouache when it was discounted on amazon a while ago and have found it very solid. One thing you have to know about acryla gouache is that it uses a binder more like acrylic paint (hence the name acryla). Paints are made out of pigment + binder and most gouache is essentially watercolor but with extra pigment/chalk to make it opaque - the binder is water soluble so these paints can be reactivated with water. Acryla gouache is NOT water soluble when dry and it dries pretty fast so it’s overall less flexible. But other than that you can pretty much treat it like any other gouache and I find they keep a little better too, less likely to get gunky or stiff.

All paint brands have a handful of starter packs which are slightly discounted but if you want to build your own starting palette I’d say get a warm and cool tint of all the primaries, get a lot of white (working with gouache somehow involves a lot of mixing with white lol), and get a brown, maybe like burnt sienna or raw umber for underpaintings. No need to get a black, mixing darks builds character, looks better, and having one out of the tube can become a crutch. If you find a white watercolor paint tube that’s cheaper you can buy that instead of a gouache white. Again, they have pretty much the same make-up. And white paints are generally opaque enough that the composition between gouache/watercolor shouldn’t matter too much.

I’ve never used a block tray of gouache. Like those paints that come in little blocks in a tray? I know there's a bunch out there but I’ve never used them and I don’t know anyone else who does so I have no opinion on them.

Brushes

I’ve been kind of exploring this myself. I recently bought a cheap set of flat brushes off amazon LOL and I like them a lot?

Theyre probably not The Best or anything but I found flat brushes suit gouache plein air painting really well because its suits the kind of color blocking shapes I want to make. Also these had the right handle length to fit in my painting bag. That’s like the main reason I chose them tbh.

Honestly a lot of my art supplies philosophy is “give it a whirl with whatever you have lying around and when it feels like you're missing something specific keep an eye out for when that stuff goes on sale”

Paper

GOTTA BE HONEST I’m using cheapo paper. Because I’m making these paintings half for study and half to give my parents something to hang in the living room.

You can actually see some of them curling in on themselves here lol. If you’ve seen the sketchbook I’m holding in any of my pics of paintings it’s one of the canson mixed media books.

and its FINE... I wouldn’t necessarily recommend it lol.. I like that the texture is very fine but it doesn’t hold a lot of water and definitely distorts. Also I keep ripping off the surface with painters tape but that might just be on me. Oh buy artist tape. Just because its so satisfying to have clean edges.

I’m using painters tape instead of artist tape because I found it in the basement but if youre buying supplies buy artist tape because it’ll be kinder to your paper. 

SPEAKING OF PAPER.

I guess anything heavyweight for watercolor/mixed media will be fine? some people like a lot of texture but if you’re painting small you might want to avoid it and pick hot press over cold press. Honestly I feel like a lot of this is going to depend on what your specific needs are.. how big do you want the paper to be.. do you want a sketchbook or would you rather carry around loose paper... etc. Maybe go to an art store and touch all their paper. I feel like its easier to understand sizes and texture when you’re seeing it physically.

When I go on a trip, I normally bring a softcover heavyweight stillman & birn sketchbook because I tend to obliterate metal spiral books in my bag LOL. Also I don’t rip any pages out of my travel sketchbooks so I don’t need perforation or anything. Also they go on sale a lot in the art store I go to haha. I havent used gouache extensively in it but it takes inkwash/maker pretty well.

On the higher end, I personally haven’t used it that much but my friends who do traditional illustration professionally swear by arches watercolor paper. It comes in lots of different sizes.

Whatever you use, if you really want it to lie flat you’re gonna want to soak and stretch it on a board but I don’t bother with that because I am lazy.

Palette

You didn’t ask about palette but I’m taking the opportunity to be a shill because I personally use a sta-wet palette and I LOVE it.

One of the biggest frustrations about gouache for me was how quickly it dries after it leaves the tube. And even if you can reawaken it with water its not quite the same? and consistency is SO important when it comes to applying gouache so I don’t want to be over-watering my paint.. ugh. Anyways, I don’t have to worry about that with the sta-wet palette and really its been a game changer for me. sta-wet is a brand name but there are a bunch of other wet palettes not by masterson that I’m sure are just as good. I mean, it’s just a box with a sponge basically, that can’t be hard to replicate.

The only thing - and I personally have not had this issue but I have friends who have - is that if you leave it wet for too long it could grow mold? or a mouldy smell? Just wash your palette with soap and don’t leave it for weeks on end and it should be fine.

If you’re not feeling a palette that’s always moist, the best palette I used in school was a simple glass palette. you can buy one I guess but it’s so easy to DIY, I think the way we did it in school is getting a piece of glass and mdf from the hardware store cut the same size and then duct taped them together on the sides so it wouldn’t be sharp.

costs like nothing.

what else...get a palette knife if you like to mix paints? and like to save paints... mixing with the brush means you lose paint in your brush in the mixing process so a knife is a good way to maximize that process. I don’t use it much but sometime if I have to mix a lot of one color I’ll pull it out of my bag.

I don’t know anything about easels, I sit on the dirty ground like a gremlin when I paint.

Ok yeah that’s all the supplies tips I have. hope some of it was helpful! always try to save money with art supplies, I think. Especially if you’re just starting out - it’s less stressful to use cheap supplies too lol. Good luck! Happy painting!

[sophialikesthings]

Death Of Me Chapter 7

DO NOT STEAL MY WORK

Song: Helium- Glass Animals (IYKYK 💙💚) "This is the stupidest drawing in the world. Who drew this?" I laughed looking at Kiara.

"Who do you think?" She looked over at  Pope.

"Kie, your plan better work because there is no way we can pawn these off with a symbol on it." JJ walked over tossing the gold in front of us.

"It's gonna work." She held up a blow torch.

I helped JJ set up the pot where we would melt off the wheat symbol.

Once the gold was melted down we all hopped in the van and headed towards the local pawn shop.

"Hell of a job melting it down, Dr.Frankenstein." JJ hopped out of the van looking at the poorly melted glob of gold.

"Like you could have done any better?"

"I could have done much better, I took a welding class"

"When?"

"Guys chill, all that matters is that the wheat symbol is gone." I tried to mediate the situation

"Easy for you to say. You're not the one that has to pawn this piece of shit off." JJ held up the gold.

"How did I get this job anyway?"

"Because you're the best liar." Pope said as we headed inside.

===

"Afternoon ma'am" JJ took his cap off.

"Afternoon."

"I see you buy gold." He took off his backpack, the rest of us pretended to look around the store.

"That's what the sign says don't it?"

"Well, I sure hope you buy a lot of it, because I'm about to blow your mind." He pulled it out.

"I ain't got much mind left to blow, so have at it kid."

"How 'bout them gold apples." he set it down in front of the store clerk.

"That ain't real." She chuckled

"That ain't real?" JJ repeated her.

"Feel how heavy it is."

She struggled to pick it up and grabbed her magnifier glass and looked closely as if she was examining every inch of it.

"Spray painted tungsten." She looked at him

She grabbed a hammer and hit a corner of it.

"If that wasn't real gold would you dent it that easily ma'am?" JJ questioned her judgement.

"Hold your horses." She put on her glasses

After bickering back and forth she put it on a scale.

"Seven pounds thats a lot of earrings." She didn't believe his lie.

JJ went on about how his mom had 'alzhimers', trying to gain sympathy from her.

She walked away to go get someone from the back.

"Alzhimers? Are you kidding me JJ?" I questioned his lying capabilities. "What? Got me out of many detentions so why not try it now?"

The owner came back out and started talking prices with JJ I kind of zoned out looking at 'Vintage Jewelry' with Sarah.

Before I knew it we were headed to the pawn stores warehouse to get the money.

"JJ, How in the world did you get away with an Alzheimer's lie?" I laughed.

"Listen man, we got the money didn't we?"

Suddenly we heard the sounds of police sirens telling us to pull over.

As we were trying to stash the gold someone pointed a gun at John B, Unfortunately I knew exactly who this was.

We all carefully did as instructed lying down on the ground while he went through the van.

John B got up and quickly ran to Barry's car grabbing the car keys and waiting till Barry got back in the car, strangling him getting back the gold he took. JJ ran over to help him get the gold back. While they were throwing punches I scooped up the gold from the passenger's seat and ran back to the van.

"I got it! Come on."

"Wait." JJ pulled down his mask.

"I know this piece of shit!" JJ couldn't believe it

"He's a base head."

"Probably knows my brother." Sarah panted.

"He does."

"He sells coke to my dad." JJ squared up.

"Mrs. Country Club!" Before Barry could finish speaking, JJ punched him.

"Let's go see where this son of a bitch lives?" JJ started walking.

"I'm gonna remember this shit!" Barry threatened.

=== "I should get back to my place, I'll see you later JJ." I hugged him tightly.

After I let go I walked back into my house to see the boys hanging out outside.

"Hey!" I greeted them

"There you are! I was wondering where you went?" Rafe hugged me kissing the top of my head.

"Rafe Cameron!" I heard Barry pull up out front.

"Fuck!" I ran inside to my room, opening the window so I could hear their conversation.

"What are you doing here man? Are you good?" Rafe asked, pulling him over to the side.

"No, I aint good man."

"Alright what happened."

"Why's your family think I'm just some bitch they can shit on?" Barry asked. "First your dad kneecaps me in my house, then I have to deal with your sister and your girlfriend breaking into my house and stealing my shit." He got upset.

I saw Topper's face change, he looked up at me and I felt my heart drop.

"My little sister, Robbed you?" Rafe asked.

"Yeah, Sarah, Demi, and their surfer rat friends stole 25k from me! That is why I'm here."

"Demi wouldn't even pick up a dollar off of the streets." Rafe defended me.

"Sort this shit out or I will! And I wont be nice about it." He barked.

"What are you gonna do?" Topper asked.

"I don't know?  That's not my problem." Rafe chuckled.

"Hey, That's Demi we are talking about." He reminded Rafe.

=== I ran over to the Camerons where Sarah and John B were

"We gotta go, Like now! Barry came over to my house and told Rafe about everything, Rafes coming to get you." I explained out of breath.

We quickly left the lot as soon as we could. We made it about five minutes out when Rafe pulled us over.

"Let me handle it, Sarah, come out when you think it's necessary." I hopped out.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" I stomped over.

"There she is!" He took his helmet off.

"Hello? Are you high?" I asked

"Damn it Rafe, we could have run you over."

"I just heard about your little home invasion!" He scoffed.

"What are you talking about?" I acted clueless.

"What would your father, the sheriff, say if he knew you were robbing dealers?"

I heard Sarah step out of the van.

"And you! What would our dad say?" he pointed at her.

"I don't know. You could tell him if he didn't kick you out." she snapped back.

"Listen Demi, I try to take care of you."

"That's a lie" I laughed.

"Who's ungrateful, as always, listen, the guy that you robbed is a bad man, Demi."

"Yeah, I'm aware, Rafe!"

"Listen! He gave me this,okay?" He showed me his arm.

Suddenly Topper decided to show up.

"You take care of your shit, I'll take care of mine!"

"I"m taking care of my shit! Listen Demi, One day I'm gonna be running the show, for us because I love you!"

"A-and I don't like it when we fight." He pulled me in for a hug.

"We will talk about this later."

=== Later That Day === I decided to go and see what JJ was doing because I was bored, oddly I showed up at the house at the same time as Kiara and Pope.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Kiara asked, giving me a hug.

"Checking in on JJ, he had a rough day."

All of a sudden fairy lights come on.

"Where did that come from?" We went to the back of the house to find out.

As we got closer we saw a drunk JJ sitting in a brand new hot tub popping a cork off of a champagne bottle.

"What did you do? JJ." Pope asked.

"I got a jet going straight in my butt right now." He laughed.

"Y'all should get in here immediately. Especially you Demi, you look hot in a bathing suit."

"Salud!" He held up a plastic champagne glass that was in a flamingo drink floatie.

We just looked at eachother confused about the sudden change in JJ.

"JJ? How much did this cost?" I asked.

"Uh...With the generator, the petrol,and oh, hey, express delivery I'd say...pretty much all of it. Yeah." He chuckled as if this was a joke.

"All of it? You spent all of it. In one day?" I replied.

"Yeah, I burned a hole right through my pocket."

I stepped closer to JJ

"But, I mean ,like,come on, guys, like, look at this!" He showed it off.

"Finest in jet-based massage therapy, that's what they told me."

I just stared at him.

"Demi, what? Can't a man have a little luxury in his life? Come on, all this scrimpin' and scrapin'... I mean, like...guys, we-- you only live once, right? Enough of this emotional shit. Get in the Cat's Ass. Come on." He gestured us over.

"In the what?" Kie finally spoke.

"The Cat's Ass. That's what I named her."

"Oh, hey, yo I almost forgot." He flipped a switch causing a disco ball to light up and spin

"Yeah, that's right, I know. Disco mode."

"Are you kidding me! You could have given it for restitution!" Pope yelled

"Or any charity!" Kiara chimed in.

"Or better yet, you could have helped us buy supplies." Pope threw out another suggestion.

I could see him break.

"Ok, you know what, I didn't do that! I got a hot tub!" He stood up. I saw the bruises on his body making me feel sick.

"For my friends." He cried.

"I got a hot tub for my friends, you know what screw friends. I got a hot tub for my family."

I slipped off my shoes and got in with him, wrapping him in my arms as he cried out.

"I can't do it! I can't take him anymore!"

"It's gonna be okay." I kissed his shoulder while his face was nuzzled in the crook of my neck.

Soon Kiara and Pope joined in on the hug.

"I love you JJ." I whispered in his ear.

"I love you too Demi."

[ambiguoslyambitious]

Chapter Three: (Overdue) Introductions PT. I

Author: ambiguoslyambitious (me!)

Rating: Mature

Word Count: 3,839

Summary: Today's the day that Bela will finally make her debut in Pelican Town and meet some of the townspeople. Will she be able to salvage her reputation or has her fresh start already began to expire?

“Wait, so you’re telling me that the townspeople have been trying to welcome me all week?” Bela lowered her eyes in shame, her face reddening once again. Yoba, they must think I’m some stuck up city bitch.

“Unfortunately, yes,” Victor answered reassuringly. “However, none of us knew that you were...hearing impaired.” Victor rubbed the back of his neck, a sheepish look sweeping across his face. Something Mayor Lewis failed to mention. Thanks a lot.

“Oh, Yoba,” Bela shook her head. “The whole town must think that I’m so rude.” So much for a fresh start. Maybe I should just become a hermit. No socialization. Just me and Mother Nature.

“Don’t worry! I’m sure we can clear this all up.” Suddenly, Victor’s dark eyes brightened. “Would you like to accompany me into town? I know that my mother wanted to invite you over to our residence for dinner. I-if you aren’t too busy, that is.” He quickly looked away, cheeks flooded with pink.

“Oh, uh,” Bela also averted her gaze briefly. “T-that would be lovely.” Shit, meeting the mom already.

Victor shot her a sheepish grin. “Splendid! Hopefully, we’ll be able to run into a few of the townspeople and try to salvage your reputation.”

The pair proceeded to exit the farmhouse.

“I must say, Bela,” Victor said, sweeping his gaze across the farm. “You’ve done a magnificent job so far.”

“Thank you,” Bela responded shyly. "I admit, I hadn't realized how much this old farm had gone into ruin." She stared out sadly out towards the other islands she hadn't reached yet, remembering when the farm was bustling with activity. And I still have so much work left to do.

Sensing her sadness, Victor tried to lighten the mood. "You used to visit this farm, right?"

"Yeah," Bela gave a sad smile. "When I was a kid, I used to spend the entire summer here, helping Grandfather tend to the chickens and cows, and watering the crops each morning."

"Sounds like you two were close."

"Not really," Bela admitted. "Summertime was the only time I got to see Grandfather. He and my father weren't very close. The last summer I spent here was ten years ago. Before he got sick and..." Her eyes welled up with tears.

"Oh, I'm sorry," Victor apologized, looking over at her worried. "I don't mean to remind you of such sorrowful things."

"It's fine," Bela offered a half-smile. She brought her gaze up to the bright afternoon sky, taking in the sweet scent of grass and the warm spring breeze. "Not all of my memories of him are sad. I know that there were really great times that are just easy to forget now that he's gone."

This time, Victor was the one to offer a half-smile. "I suppose it is easier to remember the bad times. Remembering the good times forces you to remember how much you miss the ones you've lost."

“HELLO, VICTOR!” called out a frantic, yet cheerful voice. “OH MY YOBA, IS THAT THE NEW FARMER? HI!” A bubbly young woman, adorn in bubblegum pink rushed over to meet them on the dirt path across from the defunct bus stop heading towards town.

“Tabitha, this is Bela.” Victor smiled, knowing that Tabitha was one of the friendliest people in town to meet. She had a habit of making even the grumpiest people smile. Thank Yoba, we've run into Tabitha. She can quickly turn around this somber conversation.

“Hi, Bela! It’s so nice to meet you!” Tabitha giggled, bouncing on the balls of her feet. “My twin brother Theo and I moved here a year ago and run The Stray Café across from the bus stop. Hopefully, you’ll be able to meet him soon, though he isn’t much of a socializer.”

“Hi, Tabitha.” Bela smiled unconsciously, the young woman’s happy energy was infectious.

“Those are cool headphones!” Tabitha said, taking notice of the devices in Bela’s ears. “Listening to any good music?”

Victor quickly glanced over at Bela before responding. “Um, Tabitha. Those aren’t headph-”

“These are actually hearing aids.” Bela interrupted.

Suddenly, Tabitha’s face fell. “I’m so sorry! I hope that I didn’t offend you!” The poor woman looked close to tears. Yoba, how can I be so stupid and insensitive?! Theo always tells me to never assume. I'm sure she hates me now.

“It’s ok!” Bela quickly reassured the young lady. “It’s an honest mistake.”

Tabitha visibly relaxed at Bela's words, letting out a sigh of relief. "Good, I'm glad that I didn't ruin our chances of becoming best friends."

"Hold on," Victor laughed. "Who says that I'm not already Bela's best friend?"

Tabitha rolled her eyes playfully. "I guess then we will all just have to be besties."

Bela let out a laugh, with the pair soon joining in. Maybe meeting the townspeople will go more smoothly than I thought. At least I 've managed to make friends with these two.

"So, besties," Tabitha glanced between Victor and Bela. "Where are you guys headed?"

"I was just bringing Bela into town to meet everyone." Victor responded. "My mother invited her over for dinner and I figured that I would take her to the saloon afterwards."

"That's a good idea. Why don't you guys come with me to Pierre's first?"

"Sure," Victor nodded. Then he looked over at Bela sheepishly. "That is, if it's ok with you."

Bela smiled at them. "Yeah, that's fine. You guys know the town better than me."

_____________________________________________________________

The trio continued their way into town, heading east towards Pierre’s General Store. As they entered the store, Pierre looked up from the catalogue he was reading at the register.

“It’s farmer Bela!” Pierre greets excitedly. “Welcome to Pierre’s! If you’re looking to buy seeds, my shop is the place to go.” Finally, a new customer.

Bela offered a small smile. “Thank you, I’ll be sure to keep that in mind.” Bela’s eyes swung around the small shop, taking note of the tall shelves filled with different kinds of seeds. Small containers held fresh produce with labels containing the names of all the local farms.

“I’ll also purchase whatever produce you make on your farm for a good price.” Pierre’s grin became slightly more forced as he continued making his sales pitch. Hopefully, this city kid will be able to produce crops worth selling. Can't be any worse than anything Andy brings.

“Hopefully, I’ll have something worthy to sell soon.” Bela awkwardly joked. “ Yoba, this guy is intense.

To the right of the counter, a door suddenly slammed open. Pierre rolled his eyes as a purple-headed figure stepped out looking annoyed.

“Really, Abigail?” Pierre glared at her.

Abigail shot back a similarly annoyed look. “What? You know the door gets stuck. It’s not a big deal.”

She dramatically rolled her eyes, walking towards the exit. She shot a quick glance at Victor and nodded, coming to a stop once she laid eyes on the new farmer, eyes narrowing in suspicion.

“Who are you?”

Victor smiled, seemingly unperturbed by the young woman’s rudeness. “Abigail, this is Bela, the new farmer.”

“Hi,” Bela waved awkwardly. Well, she definitely doesn’t like me.

“Oh, I heard someone was moving into that old farm,” Abigail said, looking Bela up and down without meeting her eyes. “A shame, I liked exploring around there.” Without another word, Abigail walked out of the store.

“Ms. Rivers?” called out a small, quiet voice from the right. Bela could barely hear the man even with her hearing aids turned on. She turned to look over and was surprised to see a tall man, with thick glasses and an even thicker moustache. “It’s a pleasure to meet you. I’m Harvey Hickey, the local doctor.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you, Dr. Hickey.”

“Please, call me Dr. Harvey.” He offered an awkward smile. “I work, well and live, in the clinic next door with Paul, the town’s optometrist.” Suddenly his ears burned red. “A-as roommates of course!”

Bela just smiled politely. And they were roommates.

“Uh,” Harvey rubbed the back of his head nervously. “Well, um, please, uh, make sure to, uh, schedule your annual check up at, uh, some point. It was, uh, nice to meet you.” He awkwardly made his way up the register, a simple protein bar in hand.

"Well, I've got to pick up some things for the café," Tabitha said with a smile. "I'll see you guys around!"

"You're not coming to the saloon?" Bela furrowed her eyebrows.

"Oh, uh," Tabitha started stammering nervously. "T-that's not, uh, really my scene." I hope Bela doesn't think I'm lame.

"That's fine," Bela replied reassuringly. "Since we're neighbors, I'm sure we'll be seeing each other often. I'll try and visit the café soon."

"Oh, you should! I can't wait to introduce you to my brother!" Tabitha's eyes lit up once again. “Bye. Bela! Bye, Victor!” Tabitha waved goodbye, as she proceeded to gather supplies for the café.

"Well," Victor said, a hint of nervousness creeping into his usually calm voice. "Now it's time to meet my mother."

_____________________________________________________________

Bela and Victor exited the store, making their way east to the Jenkins’ Residence, which happened to be located directly next to Pierre's General Store.

“I told you this would be a short walk.��� Victor smiled as they approached the giant, two-story manor which was painted a beautiful shade of robin’s egg blue. Bela’s eyes widened at the vastness of the manor, whose front entrance was guarded by a set of beautiful bronze gates.

Victor pushed the gate open and gestured for Bela to head inside. She followed the ornate crystal path until she reached a set of giant oak doors.

“Allow me.” Victor again held open the door for Bela, who stood in the entryway desperately trying to take in all the grandeur. Directly across from her was a beautiful wooden staircase, hinting that more beauty was yet to be seen. To her left was the living room, adorned in rich red and gold curtains and rugs. To her right, a kitchen with a large mahogany table sat with matching chairs.

“Wow, it’s so beautiful in here.” Bela’s eyes glowed with wonder.

“Why, thank you.” called out a sultry, yet sophisticated voice. An elegantly dressed woman appeared to cascade down the stairs effortlessly. “You must be Ms. Bela Rivers.” The woman extended a hand in greeting, which Bela immediately took.

“Yes, it is nice to meet you, Mrs. Jenkins.” Bela smiled nervously. I can’t believe this is Victor’s mother.

“Please, call me Olivia.” She gave a smile that didn’t quite reach her eyes. Is this really the same girl who ignored Caroline and Jodi? She seems polite enough.

“Well, Olivia,” Bela said awkwardly. “Thank you for inviting me over. I appreciate your hospitality.”

“Don’t worry, Bela.” Victor chimed in. “My mother loves any opportunity to entertain guests.”

”Well, I wouldn’t want this manor to go to waste!” Olivia gives a dry laugh. “Let’s head over to the kitchen.” She quickly turned on her heels and elegantly strutted away. Victor offered a small smile to Bela before following his mother.

As the pair took their seats, Olivia brought a large platter with a covering on top of it.

“What fine dish have you prepared this time, Mother?”

“Well, since, I heard that our guest used to live in Zuzu City,” Olivia smiled coyly as she lifted the top. “ I decided to prepare pan-seared butterfish over a plate of assorted vegetables from the garden.”

Both Bela and Victor stared at the platter in absolute wonder. The butterfish was a brilliant shade of gold, contrasting the rich greens of the cabbage and lettuce underneath.

“This looks amazing!” Bela exclaimed, remembering the holidays when her mother would prepare this. Her heart tinged with sadness, as her eyes began burning with unshed tears. I need to think about something else.

“Is something troubling you dear?” Olivia asked inquisitively, eyes narrowing as she glanced over the newcomer. She noticed a faint glint emitting from Bela’s ear, eyes widening in realization. She's deaf! That's why no one's been able to get in contact with her. Can't wait to clear that up with the ladies.

“Oh, i-it’s nothing.” Bela offered a flicker of a smile before lowering her gaze.

Olivia shot her son a look, to which Victor responded by shrugging.

“Perhaps,” Victor looked between his mother and Bela. “I should pour us each a glass of wine.”

Olivia nodded, stealing another glance at Bela. “Why don’t you grab some pomegranate wine from the cellar? I’m sure the tartness will compliment the sweetness of the butterfish wonderfully.” The young woman also nodded in agreement. Oh, Victor, please don't leave me alone with your mom. There's just something scary about her.

Victor glanced over at Bela once more. “Of course. I’ll be just a moment.” He gracefully walked away from the table, disappearing down the stairs of the cellar.

“So, Bela,” Olivia clasped her hands together. “What brings you to Pelican Town?”

“Well,” Bela nervously met the older woman’s gaze. “I decided that I wanted a fresh start.” Bela purposely kept her answer vague. She wasn’t sure if she was ready to talk about her parents just yet.

“A fresh start?” Olivia’s gaze hardened. There must be something this girl is running from. Why else would she need a fresh start so young?

“Yes,” Bela responded, meeting her gaze. “I found that life in Zuzu City just wasn’t for me anymore.”

Olivia’s eyes narrowed in suspicion. “But, what about your career? If I’m not mistaken, I heard that you had a very promising job at Joja in their corporate office.”

“I did.” Bela responded. “However, I’ve found the work to be...unfulfilling.”

Olivia’s eyes widened and she leaned back in surprise, a hand raised up against her chest. “Unfulfilling? By Yoba, I spent thirty years working my way to become an accounting manager and accumulating all of this.” She gestured with her hand carelessly.

“Mother,” Victor chided, walking up the stairs from the cellar with a dark red bottle. “Not everyone wants to be a corporate monkey.”

“Didn’t this corporate monkey earn enough to give you a full-ride to one of the finest universities in the entirety of the Ferngill Republic?” Olivia shot back, her tone icy.

“Yes, Mother,” Victor’s tone softened considerably, as he began pouring the wine, “But, money shouldn’t be the only thing you work for.” Why can't she understand that money isn't everything?

“Oh, really?” Olivia retorted, condescendingly taking a sip. “But was it not money that afforded you this life of privilege?”

The room suddenly went silent. Well, this has gotten awkward, Bela thought to herself, her fork lazily moving some of the greens in front of her.

Victor's jaw clenched, struggling to maintain his composure. Why can't my mother just realize that I'm not trying to be ungrateful. I just want to be happy.

"I recently lost my parents," Bela said quietly, interrupting the momentary silence. "A-and I didn't know what to do with myself. One day, I just found this envelope from my grandfather that said that one day I'd be in need of change and that I had this farm for when I needed it."

Victor gently placed a hand on her shoulder, as she fought to keep tears from streaming down her face. "I'm sorry for your loss, Bela."

"I'm sorry." Olivia said, glassy-eyed as well. She quickly grabbed a napkin, dabbing her eyes delicately. "Part of the reason why Victor and I moved to Pelican Town was due to my husband's...passing." Yoba, I should've been more sympathetic instead of interrogating this poor girl. I should've recognized that she was also going through loss.

Victor exchanged a somber look with his mother before looking back over at Bela. He reached over and grabbed his glass, raising it up in a toast. "To new beginnings."

Bela and Olivia followed in suit, each taking a long gulp of wine to help assuage some of the emotional pain caused by their respective grief.

_____________________________________________________________

"Well, that could have gone more smoothly," Victor shook his head as he and Bela left the manor for the saloon.

"It certainly was an interesting dinner," Bela responded gently. The rest of the dinner had been eaten in an awkward silence. "Your mom is a really good cook." And an even better interrogator. Maybe she volunteered part-time at the Zuzu City PD?

"Yeah, well she's usually an even better host." His eyes looked apologetic as they met Bela's. "I'm really sorry for the way dinner turned out. My mother can be...a lot."

Bela gave him a smile, playfully pushing his arm, "Don't even worry about it. I'm already making memories in this town."

Victor pushed open the thick oak door of The Stardrop Saloon, a barrage of sounds and smells overwhelming the new farmer. Bela was hit with the warm, bitter scent of beer as a jaunty folk tune played in the background, accompanied by the sounds of glasses clinking and laughter.

“Why if it isn’t the new farmer, Ms. Bela Rivers,” a kind voice greeted. “Welcome to The Stardrop Saloon! What can I get for ya?”

“Hello, Gus,” Victor smiled, taking a seat at the bar and gesturing for Bela to join him. “Why don’t we just take two glasses of wine to start?” The mustached man glanced over at Bela.

“Uh, yes,” Bela smiled. “Thank you.”

Victor leaned closer and whispered in her ear, his breath warm and gentle, “I hope you don’t mind me ordering for you. I figured you’d want to still be coherent while meeting some more of the townspeople.” He let out a small chuckle as he pulled away.

“What,” Bela teased, as her cheeks turned pink. “You think I can’t handle more than a couple glasses of wine?”

Before he could respond, a perky blue-haired woman arrived back with the two glasses of wine in hand. “Here you go!” She gently placed them before the pair. As Victor reached for his wallet, Emily gently shook her head, “This one’s on the house.”

She turned to face Bela, her blue eyes glowing with kindness. “Hello, Bela, I’m Emily!” Ooh, she has a nice aura. I'm sure we'll be good friends.

Bela smiled. “Nice to meet you.”

“Well, if it isn’t the new farmer,” came a sultry voice from the right of the bar. A beautiful woman slid onto the barstool next to Bela, while Emily placed a glass of wine in front of her.

“Yeah, I’m Bela,” Bela responded, still taking in the woman’s striking appearance. Her face was like a porcelain doll’s, smooth and pale with only a single mole marking her otherwise unblemished skin. Something about her seems familiar, but I can’t put my finger on it.

The woman extended her hand, a mischievous glint in her dark eyes. “Pleasure to meet you. I’m Shiko.”

Bela’s eyes widened in partial recognition. “Shiko? Shiko Takahashi?”

Shiko smiled back dryly. “Ah, so you have heard of me. Makes sense since I heard you’re from the city.”

“What's a model doing here?” Bela’s jaw dropped.

“ Former model,” Shiko flipped her dark locks over her shoulder carelessly. “I decided to retire and live the simple life.” She smiled at Bela, a hint of sadness in her eyes. “Kind of like you, huh?”

Bela returned the smile. “Something like that.”

Victor raised his glass, taking a careful sip before looking over at Bela. “Well, it’s always a pleasure seeing you, Shiko. If you don’t mind, I’d like to introduce Bela to some of my friends.”

The pair got up from their stools, heading over to what appeared to be a game room. Two old school arcade games greeted them at the entrance, where the angsty, purple haired teen was violently shaking the joysticks and shooting out creative combos of curse words.

“Obviously, you’ve already met Abigail.”

The girl shot a dirty look at Bela. “Victor, you done showing the new girl around? I need your help. I can’t get past this damn level.”

Victor rolled his eyes. “I was just bringing BELA over to meet everyone.” Why does Abigail ALWAYS have to be so fucking rude?

Bela gave an awkward smile as Abigail turned her attention back to the game in front of her. What is this girl’s problem with me?

“Bela?” Suddenly, a messy-haired blonde was standing right in front of her, his eyes gleaming with recognition. “Yo, Sebby, it's really her!” His arms quickly enveloped Bela into a tight hug, lifting her off the ground. It took everything in her to not spill any wine as the young man gently rocked her.

When he finally put her down, Bela was overcome with memories of her young self playing at the beach with a pair of blonde and black-haired boys. “Sam?”

His green eyes glowed with happiness. “Wow, I can’t believe it’s been, what, like ten years?” He looked over to the pool table where the raven-haired fellow was still poised with a billiards stick. “Fuck the game, Seb, come over here, it’s our Bela!”

Sebastian flinched when Sam said “our Bela”. Abigail’s head whipped over, shooting a venomous glare at Bela. “What do you mean, ‘our Bela’? I thought she just got here.”

Sam shook his head. “Don’t you remember? Bela used to visit every summer when we were kids.” Suddenly, Sam burst out into laughter.

Abigail’s eyes narrowed defensively, “What’s so funny?”

“Of course you don’t remember,” Sam managed to choke out. “You were too busy being besties with Haley.”

Even Sebastian let out a small laugh as Abigail’s pale face turned beet red. “Whatever, that was a long time ago.”

“Well,” Victor smiled, breaking the awkward tension that was beginning to form. “I hadn’t realized that you already knew each other.”

“Oh, yeah,” Sam smirked mischievously. “Bela and Seb knew each other REALLY well.”

Both Bela and Sebastian flushed red, ears burning hot. Abigail looked over in curiosity, annoyance written all over her face. What the fuck does that mean?

Victor raised an eyebrow quizzically, glancing between the two. “Really?”

“Sam,” Sebastian rolled his eyes, the red refusing to leave his face. “Why do you have to be such an ass?” I bet she doesn't even remember.

Bela looked over at Victor sheepishly. “It was just a middle school fling. We were kids.” I doubt Seb even remembers.

Victor burst out into laughter, while Bela and Sebastian bore similar mortified expressions. Sam joined Victor in laughter, with Abigail continuing to shoot death glares at Bela.

"So," Bela said in an attempt to break the awkwardness. "How've you been, Seb?" Yoba, I don't know what to say to him.

Sebastian avoided Bela's gaze, preferring to maintain eye contact with the wooden floors. "Oh, you know, nothing's new." Dammit Sam! Why'd you have to bring THAT up?

"Seems like there's been quite a few changes since I've been here."

"Yeah," Sebastian nodded, stealing a glance at her. "But, most things are still the same." Like how much I've missed you.

[wreckofawriter]

Not Yet

Pairing: Harry Potter x reader

Word Count: 3,270

Warnings: None

Request: Could u do something Harry Potter x reader were the marauders are alive and the reader is Harry’s gf and is as good as Dumbledore in dueling. And she was staying at Harry’s house for spring break and (Harry is still the boi who lived) Voldemort attacks them and says something like “if she wins she safe but for now I am going to take the most important thing in ur life” to Harry and he starts crying but then she out duels him and comforts Harry and Jily notices how much they love each other?

A/n: Ok so I know that the time line wouldnt exscatly be perfect for this fic but whatever I dont care. Also I'm sorry it tooks so long I had restart it because I didn't like my first draft. Anyway hope you guys enjoy!

"Harry, they're going to hate me." You groaned falling back from your sitting position on his bed to laying and burying your head in your hands.

Harry rolled his eyes smiling. "Y/n there is no possible way they are going to hate you, so stop stressing." 

You turned your head to glare at the boy who was struggling to close his suitcase, "Oh yeah because when you met my dad you weren't stressing at all." You said voice dripping with sarcasm.

"That's different," Harry defended still attempting to get the buckles on his trunk closed. 

"How is it possibly different, if anything I have it worse because you have like three dads." You pointed out.

"I don't have three dads." Harry grunted, cursing those textbooks that were making the task at hand nearly impossible.

You muttered a spell under your breath and watched as the items in his trunk shifted before the straps snapped closed neatly "You most certainly do have three dads." You iggled when he looked back up at you in amazement. 

"I forgot you could so stuff like that." He murmured making his way towards the bed. 

"Well you should try remembering." You smirked before Harry climbed on top of you meeting your lips with his. The kiss was soft sweet and short. 

"Bloody hell!" 

Harry quickly rolled off of you. 

You both blushed heavenly looking at Ron who now stood in the doorway with Hermione. 

"Sorry." You muttered looking down at you hands. 

"Thank god you were only kissing I thought you were doing other stuff for a second." A book promptly shot across  the room and hit Ron in the side of the face. He glared looking up at the beat red girl across from him "Can you stop with the no-wand spells? It's very confusing for us." 

"Speak for yourself Ronald." Hermione chipped, "They are quite brilliant in my opinion." 

"Thanks Hermione." You smiled the color trickling from your cheeks. You had always had a particular talent for performing spells without a wand. You barely touched it nowadays, you would simply do the spell without it. 

It was a "rare but exceptional gift that very few acquired" McGonagall had informed you in your first year when you had performed  a Relashio spell without a wand on your second day of charms. 

You had noticed at a very young age that you could simply read about a spell, murmur the name under your breath, envisioning the result and said result would happen. It was quite helpful for dueling and protection 

"We are leaving in a few minutes so we just came up to get you guys." Hermione explained looking at Harry's packed trunk, Hedwig placed beside it. 

"Y/n where is your stuff?" 

"Oh shit." You muttered.

"You aren't packed?" Harry asked worry covering his features. 

"I was stressing so much I forgot." You hissed under your breath closing your eyes and thinking. Finally after a few seconds you remembered the spell and murmured it quietly. 

You heard a shriek followed by "Merlin's Beard y/n can't you just pack like the rest of us, you almost killed me with your bloody broom!"

"Sorry Parvati!" You shouted back before your wand came whizzing into your hand followed by your trunk and your owl cage, your barn owl locked securely inside, and of course your broomstick which had been an unnecessarily expensive and fought against birthday present from Harry. "Packed." You smiled up at the other three.

When the four of you had finally boarded and settled on the Hogwarts Express nerves took you over once again. You found yourself tracing the scar on your hand feeling out every letter of the sentence, "I will not tell lies" engraved on your hand. You remembered Harry's fury when you had walked out of Umbridge's classroom tears pricking at your eyes as blood dripped from your hand. Fred, George and Ron had to physically hold the boy back from beating the pick monsters face in with his fists. 

Harry quickly noticed your nervous state and slide his arm around you pulling you closer. "They are going to love you y/n/n." 

You sighed and looked over at his breath-taking green eyes, "You don't know that." 

"Come on you already met Remus and he loved you." Harry said trying to comfort you. 

"Great only two more dads and a mom to impress." You said staring out the window.

"Hey look," Harry pushed your head back to meet his eyes gently, "Remus already likes you and my Dad will be easy, just tell him your a chaser and he will talk for hours. For my mom just talk about spells and all that stuff you are so bloody good at. And for Sirius just mention a few of the pranks you pulled on Malfoy and your in the clear. You are too amazing for them not to like." 

"But what if they dont think I'm good enough for you, I mean you are 'the one who lived' and everything and I'm just...me." 

Harry scoffed, "Just you? You mean the girl who has the best marks in every single class she takes. The girl who could take down there own professors when it came to dueling and knows how to perform more spells and charms without a wand than the Charms teacher does with one?" 

You blushed looking down, "I don't have the best marks in Herbology, Transfiguration or Potions." You pointed out. 

Harry sighed, "They are going to love you y/n. I just know it." 

When the train stopped at platform 9 and ¾ so did your heart. You were jumpy and anxious, you felt as if you were running on adrenaline and caffeine. 

Hermione and Ron said goodbye wishing you luck as Harry looked around for his parents on the crowded platform.  

"There they are." Harry said grabbing your hand and heading toward a man who looks stunningly like Harry and a woman with bright red hair. 

You gulped hoping you didn't look as nervous as you were. 

When you reached the couple Harry hugged both of them as you stood awkwardly to the side trying not to draw attention to yourself. 

"Mom, Dad this is the girl I told you about, y/n." Harry introduced.

You blushed a bit waving and to your surprise the women stepped toward you and brought you into a hug. 

"It's so lovely to finally meet you, we've heard so much about you from Harry." She said pulling away to look you in the eyes. 

"It's nice to meet you as well Mrs. Potter." You smiled. 

James  stuck out his hand and you shook it firmly greeting him as well. 

"Well we better head home before Sirius burns down the house." Lily sighed. 

"Its fine." James said brushing the issue away, "Moony is there too." 

You looked at Harry "Who's Moony?" You mouthed silently.

"Professor Lupin." He whispered back. 

You bit your lip hoping that he still considered you a good student. 

When you reached Harry's house your nerves were buzzing again, you could hear the thumping of your heart loud and clear as Harry opened the front door. 

You heard a loud "Harry!" Bellowed form inside the house and Harry was soon thrown into a hug by a man with long dark hair. 

"It's great to see you again." The man who you were guessing was Sirius smiled. 

"You too Sirius." You suspicions were confirmed. "Oh this is y/n." Harry said moving to the side so you were face to face with the man. 

"Hello, it's nice to finally meet you, Harry has told me so much about you." You greeted sticking out your hand. 

"I could say the same for you." Sirius winked taking your hand. You glanced over at Harry whose face was tinged red and glaring at the man.

You giggled as Harry pulled you away, "You can put your stuff in my room." He chatted as he dragged you up the stairs to the first door on the right. 

When you entered you couldn't help but smile. The room was so… Harry. 

The walls were painted a vibrant crimson, he had quidditch banners and famous wizard posters plastered on the walls. There was a wooden desk in one cornor, a dresser and a double bed against the other wall. A door which you guessed lead to a closet on the other. There were two hooks in the center of the wall above the dresser. Different posters and papers were sprinkled around the hooks  where Harry had now walked over and placed his broom. 

You walked closer to the wall to find that all of the papers and posters were tickets and brackets from various quidditch matches.

"My dad always takes me to them." Harry chimed in walking closer to you. 

"That's brilliant," you nodded continuing to look at the items sprinkled on the wall. 

"How many have you been to?" Harry questioned snaking his arm around your waist as you stood admiring. 

"Oh, I haven't been to any." You shrugged turning to face the now appalled boy.

"What!?"

You shrugged again 

"Really?!" 

You nodded rolling your eyes playfully; "My dad just never took me."

"You have to come with us next time." Harry declared. 

"I'd love too." You smirked leaning in to kiss the boy. Your lips had barley brushed his when you were interrupted by the bang of a door. 

"Harry dinners ready…" Sirius' voice trailed off when he saw the position of your red faces. He smirked, Harry once again glaring at him.

"We're coming." Harry growled cheeks matching his walls. 

"You are now?" Sirius jeered before descending down the stairs. 

The second he was out of sight you burst into a fit of giggles. 

"What's so funny?" Harry asked.

"I don't know," you laughed out. 

With that you made your way to the stairs. 

When you sat down at the dinner table you looked up to see your ex-professors eyes sparkling at you. 

You smiled at the man and then turned your head to see Harry serving you some food. You thanked him then thanked the chef who sat proudly next to the professor his head of long midnight hair held high. 

You quickly launched into a conversation with Mrs. Potter about your plans to be an Auror after Hogwarts while Harry laughed with his godfather. 

Your conversation was cut short by Mr. Potter. 

"So I saw you had a broom, you play I'm guessing." He inquired.

"Yes I do sir." You spoke politely before placing a tomato into your mouth and feeling its soft skin burst with flavor against your teeth. 

"No need for the 'sir'" the man explained before adding, "What position?"

"I'm a chaser si-" you cut your sentence

 short blushing.

 James eyes widened under his glasses, "Really?" 

"Yes, I have been playing since second year." You nodded.

"Wow, that's pretty young for a chaser." 

"She's incredible, probably better than you Dad," Harry cut in, "She once scored 180 points in one game. That's only 30 points below the record." Harry gushed making you flame red, "And she's only in her fifth year." Harry added proudly smiling. 

You felt on fire when all of the adults at the table looked at you in amazement and surprise. "It's really no big deal, I don't win the games your son does." You mumbled looking down at your food. 

Harry rolled his eyes at your modesty even though it only made him grin impossibly l that's quite impressive." Sirius noted, "I didn't take you for a jock." 

You bit your lip before hearing another voice cut through.

"She's not just a jock Sirius." Remus rolled his eyes. "When I had her in my class she had the highest marks of all the students, she's quite talented, especially when it comes to spells and charms, she would make a brilliant Auror." 

You felt your face once again fill with fire as you looked across at the man who had spoken, "Thank you Professor Lupin." 

"Just Remus." He said before taking a sip of his wine. 

You nodded and looked at Harry who was smiling brightly at you his eyes sparkling like rare gems. 

Lily opened her mouth to continue the conversation when suddenly Harry's smile turned to a grimace of agony. He bent over with a gasp, clutching his forehead. 

Everyone instantly began to move, you moved toward Harry wrapping your arms around him, James and Lily reached for their wands as Sirius and Remus leapt from their chairs flicking their own to lock the doors and windows around them. 

You and everyone else in that room knew what that anguish Harry was feeling meant. 

Harry hissed air through his teeth in pain, "Y/n, you need to get out of here, he's coming, Voldemort's coming." He spit out. 

You turned to Lily for an answer but it was too late.

The women flew across the room in a gust of wind 

"Lily!" James yelled from across the room before he was thrown backwards into the china case with a crash. You turned to see five figures in black standing in the living room. Sirius leapt into action deflecting two spells before being hit with another. 

Remus yelled in anger hitting one of the figures with a spell before being hit with two of his own. 

During this you gathered your scattered thoughts and muttered a small protection spell  under your breath. 

Your heard Harry shriek with misery as another figure appeared in the room. You recognized the man -if you could even call him that- instantly. He started toward you and Harry who had somehow ended up on the floor your arm still sealed over his shoulders. 

"Move girl." The thing headed toward you stated. 

You rose to your feet to meet him as he neared. "No." 

A cackle rose from the throat of the monster. "Look around you," he said gesturing to the four wizards all now caught by a figure in black, wands held by tattooed wrists at their necks. 

"Move and you may live." The thing promised. 

"No." You repeated grasping your hands to fists as you stood in front of the boy shaking in torment.

"Imperi-" 

You didn't let the dark lord finish his spell before you whispered one of your own. 

The most forgiving of the unforgivable curses bounced off your shield and hit the window with a crash. You then whispered a small healing spell to Harry and heard him gasp for breath finally being released from pain's cold grasp. 

The white faced man now glared at you shooting another curse you deflected with ease. His frustration was now visible as he shot a series of painful spell at you. You muttered deflections and counter curses smoothly. 

You almost smiled at the man's great surprise and rage at the new obstacle that stood in the way of Harry's death. Your joy was swept away quickly.

"Y/n move!" You heard Harry yelled before you were hit with a blinding sting in your chest. You fell back in pain gasping for breath. You turned your head to see Remus laying on the ground in a heap, his guard standing over you in triumph. 

Suddenly you began to float up in the air. You tried and failed to regain your bearings as you were suddenly flying toward he who must not be named.  You felt cold as his fingernails closed aground your neck. 

You could smell rotting flesh and the metallic scent of blood. You could sense the hunger of the thing holding you, you could sense its hunger for death, for blood, for pain, he fed from it. 

Voldemort cackled watching as Harry screamed, writhing in the grasp of the death eater holding him.

You began to feel adrenaline rush through you with new found terror. You couldn't die. No no no. Not yet.  Please dear God not yet. You began to feel tears prick at your eyes. Please. Please not yet. Not yet.

"I can't kill you Harry." The monster paused "Not yet. But I can kill her. I can kill her easily as a bug, she's nothing." He howled in laughter. "The most important thing to you in this miserable world is nothing, its pathetic." 

Harry sobbed attempting to throw himself forward as Voldemort's wand raised to your throat.

"Please not her, please, take me instead, not her dont kill her, let her live please." Harry begged, sobs making his words almost incomprehensible.

You watched in horror as Harry broke in front of you. You could hear his parents screaming in the background and Sirius crying for Remus to wake up. 

Your body shook with anger and fear at the scene taking place in front of you. You squeezed your eyes shut and focused that energy. You focused just as your dad had thought you. You focused all that pain, fury, fear onto one thing, one spell, one person.

"Crusio." You murmured softly. 

Suddenly you were released and sent sprawling towards the ground. You heard a blood curdling shriek of agony behind you and stood to see the dark lord writhing on the floor. As he did your head felt with a splitting pain and you screeched grasping at your temples in an attempt to stop the pain. 

It ended as abruptly as it started and you stood over the man so many feared and you saw him look back up at you to see the one thing you were sure this man had never felt before in his eyes. Fear. 

He was gone in a whisper of black smoke, his followers disappearing just as quickly.

You turned sliding to the floor next to the boy you loved, tears of relief springing from your eyes. 

"She's gone, she's gone, she's gone." You heard him sobbing slumped on the ground defeated. 

"Harry, Harry it's me." You said voice breaking. He looked up his glasses were long gone his emerald eyes shining with tears. 

"Y/n?" He mumbled.

"Hey, yeah it's me." You cried. 

"But y-you, you, you were g-gone." 

"Not yet. Not yet." You sobbed tears of joy as you were tackled in a hug by the boy. 

You sobbed on to his shoulder as he pulled you into him grasping you desperately, wetting your y/h/c hair with tears. 

He pulled away from the hug grabbing your damp cheeks and smashing his lips onto yours. 

The kiss was desperate and needy, Harry moved his lips roughly against yours, you could taste the salt on him left from his tears, the same salty droplets still leaking from your eyes. 

When you broke away he pulled you into his chest again. "I love you. I love you, I love you, I love you y/n, I love you so much." The words fell from his mouth in a slur.

"I love you too Harry. I love you too" You cried into his chest.

Lily and James watched as the two of you reunited and looked at each other with the same eyes. They knew what the two of you had, they had seen very few like it, very few indeed. It was love. Not fake teenage dream "love". Not abusive of forced "love". Not one sided or used "love" but true and actual love. The same love they felt for each other. They watched as the young couple picked each other up and put each other back together and they knew that those two teenagers were in it for the long run. 

Masterlist

[jinxthequeergirl]

In The Depths of your mind

Gabriel x winchester!reader

Summary: after your life spirled out of control after Gabriel's seeming death the boys take matters of erasing him from your memory, but of course he comes back and is still in love with you but can't do anything about it

Warning: swearing,angst, probably gets a little spicy towards the end?

This is just a guilty pleasure thing I did for myself, also Blame my friend for making me love this ass again

Also this story? Long as all heck like, And sucks booty but ding dang im sorry.

~~~~~

"Stay still!" You yelled at the angle in front of you. "Ok, ok, I'm sorry!"

You grinned up at him and traced your finger across his palm, causing him to squirm again. "Gabriel!" You dropped his hand and fell back into your bed. "I'm sorry! I swear I won't squirm anymore!"

You laughed and pulled him down with you and kissed him. "You ruined the moment dumbass." you muttered before kissing him again. He frowned after pulling away and rested his chin on your chest.

"Sugar, please? I'm dying to know what my future holds!" You hummed in response and played with his hair. "You know what I think?"

He shifted on the bed next to you and rested his head on your shoulder. "What?"

"I think...the future can wait. It's a beautiful afternoon...and I could really use a nap...so why don't we just live in the moment?"

He smiled as you curled up next to him and shut your eyes. "In order to nap your eyes need to be closed, Angel cake." he chuckled and shut his eyes falling asleep with you.

It was weird that's instantly what he thought of after Sam and Dean told him that after he "died" they had castiel erasie him from your memories, meaning you wouldn't know who he was when you walked in through the door, you wouldn't remember the life he gave you for a little while, and he could do nothing about it.

But it pained him even more to hear about how bad your life had spiraled out after he did so. "Just remeber we don't know what could happen if you bring those memories up unexpectedly, so just be careful..."

He nodded slowly still processing everything.

"Boys I'm home!" you yelled from within the bunker. Gabriel perked up in his seat turning to the doorway where you appeared holding three bags, two bags from KFC and one from the grocery store.

Gabriel stopped when he noticed your hair wasn't it's natural color and it was only then he realiesed only part of what had happened to you after he left.

"You must be the person I spent an extra twenty bucks on." you joked as you set the bags down on the table he was still seated at.

"I'm y/n by the way." he stared up at you as you started unpacking the food. Dean came up behind him and hit him slightly shaking him from his gaze. "Gabriel, nice to...nice to meet you."

You looked at him with a smile. "Well Gabriel, dig in!"

You took a seat next to him grabbing some chickens and talking to Sam and Dean about the case You where currently working on.

Gabriel barrely moved the entire time you all sat there talking, he sat there ever so slightly eating the food and glancing at you.

"So what's your deal?" you asked him after you finished, Dean had already set to work on opening the grocery bag full of deserts you picked up.

"What do you mean?" you shrugged.

"Well I don't know You very well....or at all for that matter but the boys here do so?...."

He looked at Sam and Dean across the table as if they where holding poster borards with what to say up. But they gave him the same look.

"Hello?" Sam cleared his throat and began talking. "Gabriel here is...An old hunting buddy of ours and....and came here for a place to stay for a while." You looked at the three men suspiciously.

"Ok well how long-"

"Years...years and years almost too long if you ask me." Dean chimmed in. You looked at Gabriel who flashed you an unconvincing smile.

Yet it was a smile and it sparked something in you causing you to return the guesture. "So tell me about you!" Gabriel said quickly catching both sam, Dean and you off gauird.

"Uh ok? What do you wanna know?" you shrugged crossing your arms and and leaning back in your chair to face him.

"Your hair is interesting." You laughed.

"Strange choice of topic but ok, yea I was feeling bold....thought it was time for a change. So I got up one night ran to the closest convinence store and picked the first color I saw, I stayed up till four in the morning doing it." You laughed.

He laughed lightly with you, he knew that's not really what happened but it was pretty close to something you would do no matter the state.

And then suddenly you where both talking like nothing had changed, you told him about things you liked and did as hobnies, you told him about music you had gotten into and movies you started watching.

You even told him stories of hunts, some scared him and made him worry for you, others impressed him and at somepoints made him laugh when you brought up a funny memory.

And to him it really felt like he hadn't lied to you for year, like he hadn't put you through pain and angony and it felt just almost like you where sitting on the front pouch of the house he stole you away to and talked as the Sun set behind the ocean.

And it felt the same to you, talking to him felt familiar and comfortable, it was like talking to Sam and Dean but times a thousand.

"You alright?" you swallowed thickly and furrowed your brows realising you had infact gone scilent and stared blankly at the table in front of you. "Yea...wow I just...just got lost in thought for a second there." you chuckled.

"Hey you should probably get some sleep." you hummed in response finally noticing Sam and Dean where obviously way ahead of you.

"Yea...uh did they show you where your room is?" you asked while standing up. "Yea I got it." You smiled and headed across the room to find your bedroom.

"Goodnight gabriel, it was nice meeting you." he frowned slightly. "Right...yea nice meeting you too!..."

He stayed there at the table for some time, he let his mind drift from one thing about you to the next, Sam and Dean hadn't told him what exactly happened to you, what you did when he left so he thought about that. When that got to painful he thought back to the house on the beach.

Years and years ago you ran away with him, he promised you a life hunting and being a winchester could have never promised.

He made sure your life took place some where that made you happy and worked hard to make it perfect and as far as he knew it was exactly that to you.

It was a small and quaint little cabin right on the edge of the beach, the beach because he remembered you telling him that never in your life have you been, he included a garden in the back, and your own personal art studio where he remembered watching you sing at along to bon jovie at the top of your lungs while you painted.

And then out in the front of the house there was a hammock tied to the post of the front pouch and a tree and you two would lie there rocking back and fourth lightly during the late afternoon talking and listening to the ocean.

"I thought you said Sam and Dean showed you your room?" Gabriel jumped awake upon hearing your voice. You laughed seeing him do so. "Easy sleeping beauty."

"What time is it?" he asked groggily sitting up. "Eight thirty, thing one and thing two went on a coffee run...what happened to you?"

"I don't know I guess I fell asleep before I could get up."

"Oh really? Is that what happened? You asked sarcastically. You pushed yourself off of the table and headed into the kitchen. "You like sweet things, right?"

He nodded while standing up to strech, but then paused. "How'd you know that?"

You turned slightly stopping yourself. "Uh...you told me didn't you? Last night." he narrowed his eyes trying to think. Maybe he did and he just couldn't remeber.

"Yea..." you smiled and continued into the kitchen. You appeared from the kitchen just in time to see Sam and Dean return with the coffee.

"Welcome home!" you said carrying a dish. "Wha y/n you never cook...what is this?"

You shrugged setting it down. "Cinnamon rolls." you said with a smirk. It didn't take long for Sam and Dean to notice you where acting diffrent now that Gabriel was around you would bring up weird thing, you kept spacing out at times and everything about you had shifted.

And that's exactly what got you hurt on your last hunt with the three of them. So you stayed in the bunker doing reasearch for them while Gabriel stayed and watched over you.

"Hey, I brought something for you to eat." He said pushing open the door. You smiled and sat yourself up slowly, still wincing at the slight movement. You held your side and mustered a smile.

"Hey take it easy, sugar." he set the plate down on the bed stand beside you and looked around the room eyes landing on the small desk and the art that hung on the wall above it.

"How are you holding up?" he asked looking the art closely.

"Uh as good as a person with a cracked rib could be." You responded. He chuckled lightly.

"These...are...amazing!" he said looking at them closely. He took note of the facless figure's with wings who's faces where scribbled out, then the house.

Your house, the one on the beach. "What...What is this?" he asked pointing to it.

"Oh the dream house." You grinned.

"The what?"

"Well being a Winchester and hunting things for a living isn't exactly a dream life...So I've always dreamt of living on this perfect little beach in this cute little house."

He watched as you smiled dreamily and continued explaining exactly what you had, like it was burried deep inside your mind, yet right at the surface of it all.

"And I'd live there with the person I love and we would just spend every day together going to the market near by or laying in the hammock..." you chuckled ever so slightly at the thought.

"But I'm here instead living my best life..." everything was scilent between you for a few moments. Then you shifted on the bed clutching your side. "Hey come here." You said patting the bed in front of you.

He did so and you held your hand out expectantly. "Gimme your hand." He did so a started wriggiling under your touch as you traced the lines on his hand.

"What are-"

"Reading your palm, a friend taught me a while back, Now Sit still dipshit." You giggled. He stopped when you said that breathing out lightly.

"Well lucky you." you stated excitedly. "It looks like..." you started laughing catching him off gauird. "What? What is it?"

"Nothing! Nothing! It's just...I have no idea what I'm doing! I've forgotten what she taught!" you laughed loudly still holding his hand. He grinned and started laughing along with you.

Once you died down you looked at each other quietly for a moment. And then suddenly you had his face in your hands and kissed him deeply, your kissy was needy and despreat, like you where missing it.

He didn't stop you either, he wrapped his arms around your back and deepend the kiss. You discarded your sweater which stopped Gabriel momentarily as he looked at the bandaging around your torso.

"Hey..." you kissed him between your words. "I'm fine."

He gingerly moved his hands down your torso. "I love you." he muttered out against your lips. You hummed kissing him deeply. And suddenly there was a sharp pain in your head and you free back grimcing.

"Y/n?" You scooted back holding your head. "I'm..." you let out a pain filled yelp screwing your eyes shut tightly.

"Y/n what's wrong!?" he moved to touch your arm and as soon as he did your ears where ringing and it felt like someone was pushing your head into a wall slowly, you let out one more scream before Your vision went black.

"Gabe!" Dean grabbed you and pulled you back from the scene in front of you. Gabriel really did his hardest to take down Lucifer but it didn't look so good. Because he had an angel blade deep in the gut of the person you loved.

"Oh no...gabe look." he turned Gabriel around to face you as your brother held you from attacking Lucifer. Tears rimmed your eyes as you struggled to run over to him.

He swallowed thickly as he looked at you. "I'm...I'm...so sorry..." Lucifer pulled the blade from him and let him drop. "Oops."

You let out an angry scream at him before he vanished. You kicked Deans leg hard causing him to loosen his grip.

You ran over to him stopping when you saw the black scorch marks of wings sit on the floor around him. "Fuck, Gabriel!?" you fell to your knees slowly touching him lightly. "Gabe?...Angel?...Angel cakes!? Please!" you shook him slightly hoping that would do it.

"Gabriel you ass! Don't you dare!" when he didn't move you sobbed into his chest. "Y/n...come on...we need to go.." you shook sam away from you. "NO! I should have fucking listened to him! And stayed at home! He gave me a home sam! And now...now he's dead and I...I can't...can't go back home!" they where scilent. "And he didn't say good bye He said I'm sorry....it wasn't his fault..."

Suddenly your eyes snapped open and it felt like the wind was knocked from you, tears slid down your face, and You breathed heavily looking up at the consirened Angel in front of you. "Y/n?" he asked carefully.

"What the hell..." You breathed finally. He furrowed his brows. "YOUR DEAD! YOUR FUCKING DEAD!" you yelled getting up quickly.

"Wait, y/n-"

"I...I went through hell and now your...your back!?" you grabbed your sweater pulling it on. You stumbled, your head was still burning and your side ached.

"Y/n stop let me explain-"

"Fuck you gabriel! I trusted you! I loved you and and you faked your death I assume...and What where you doing? Huh? Off with some slutty pornstars!?"

The angrier you got the more your head started reeling digging up memories you'd lost after that, putting the pieces together. "Get out."

"What?"

"GET OUT I DON'T WANT TO SEE YOU!" you yelled pinching the bridge of your noise holding back tears. "No we should talk-"

"Gabriel." you said flatly, glaring up at him. He looked down and quickly left the room. You followed slamming the door shut. He stood there for a little bit and soon enough heard you sobbing. "I'm sorry..." you heard him mumble. Outside the door. You stopped and just burried your head in your arms chocking on sobs trying to ignore the memories that where lost that started flooding your head.

When he got no response he sighed and took a seat outside your door hoping you would open it and let him explain or help.

[haven-raven012591]

On a Sour Note

Elias X Genevieve

Word count: 2,980

Warnings: Angst, Fluff, Smut, Cursing.

Summary: What will happen when Genevieve’s ex decides cause trouble between her and her new love? Will Elias and Genevieve grow stronger or will it all fall apart?

Art work by @wrestling-edits-af.

Gen was standing there watching as the love of her life played for people and insulted them. She giggled knowing that as soon as his match was over they'd go out to dinner and then back to the hotel. Or at least that's what she thought would happen. She was so engrossed in Elias that she didn't hear the heavy boot falls that marked the coming storm. Like distant thunder as the storm grew closer to her.

She felt the arm go around her shoulder and froze as she looked up to see two beautiful but angry blue eyes looking at her. “I get injured and you find some other guy to fall into bed with!” Dean snarled. Genevieve rolled his arm off her shoulders and locked eyes with Dean. “I wasn't the one that was cheating on me the whole time we were dating, with someone I considered a friend.” Genevieve snapped. Dean smirked and brushed her long red hair from her shoulders.  

“There's enough of me to go around baby, I can still handle two women.” Dean said. “You made a fool out of me Dean, you of all people should know how much that hurt me!” Genevieve fumed. He only laughed and leaned down to her ear. “If I can't have you no one will Gen, you're mine!” Dean whispered. She gasped as she saw Elias stop and take in the scene that was in front of him.

Genevieve shoved Dean away and slapped him. She ran to Elias and he shook his head. “What was that?” Elias growled. She licked her lips and closed her eyes. “Eli that was nothing I swear to you.” Genevieve said. He looked at her then at Dean smirking. “She's still as feisty as ever.” Dean said. Gen turned and looked at him. “You're an asshole Dean!” Genevieve shrieked. Elias took her hand and she turned to face him.

“Come on Gen, let's go il mio amore.” Elias said. She laced her fingers with his and they walked away. She looked into Elias's green eyes and smiled as he shut the door to his dressing room. “Eli I swear there's nothing going on.” Genevieve said. He put his guitar in the case and pulled her against his chest. “If I ever see you with him again I'll end him and then us.” Elias growled. She put her arms around his neck and played with his hair.

He rubbed up her back and kissed her deeply. She tangled her fingers into his hair and kissed him back with just as much passion. He picked her up and pinned her to the door as his lips trailed kisses from her lips to her collar bone. She sighed and moaned softly. “You're mine Genevieve.” Elias said. She melted a little more for him as he kissed her jawline and down the other side of her neck. “I've been yours for a while Eli.” Genevieve said softly. He looked up at her and she laid her forehead to his. “Nine months.” Elias whispered. She kissed him softly. “You picked me up and dusted me off when he told me the night he got injured, you sat with me and sang to me when I was sad.” Genevieve said. He put her down and she wrapped her arms around him as he kissed the top of her head. They went out and had dinner then they walked in the park. Now she laid tucked protectively against his chest wide awake.

He'd left what happened at the arena alone and she was happy about that. But now the old memories surfaced in her mind every time she tried to sleep. “Are you ok baby?” Elias asked as he rubbed her arm. She jumped a little hearing his voice out of the blue. “Just thinking go back to sleep.” Genevieve whispered kissing him softly. He wrapped his arm around her waist and kept her next to him. “Eli what are you doing?” Genevieve asked. He rolled them over and kissed her heatedly. “Stay in bed with me.” Elias whispered to her lips. She rubbed his arms and down his back. “I couldn't leave now if I wanted to you're squishing me.” Genevieve giggled. He kissed her again and she tangled her fingers in his hair and kept his lips to hers. He settled between her legs and she moaned into his lips as he thrust inside her. She pulled back and sighed as he kissed her neck. “Glad you slept naked baby.” Elias groaned softly.

“We'll how was I supposed to put clothes on when you had your big arms wrapped around me?” Genevieve teased. He laughed and pulled her hips closer as he thrust in her again. “Fuck.” Elias groaned. She moaned as he kissed and licked her breasts swirling his tongue around her nipples making them harder. “Eli!” Genevieve moaned louder. He kissed her as he picked up his pace. Her hand grabbed his biceps and moaned into his lips again. He pulled back and laid his head in her neck inhaling her scent. “You smell amazing.” Elias groaned as she dug her nails into his arms. “You feel so damn good Eli please don't stop.” Genevieve moaned. He grinned and cupped her breasts sucking her nipples one after the other as she arched off the bed. He was slow and methodical with her making her come undone. She grabbed his shoulders and moaned louder. “Elias!” Genevieve screamed as she came. “Genevieve!” Elias groaned a few minutes later as he came. She welcomed his weight on her as he laid there panting.

The next few days where happy for them as they were home and away from the drama. That was until Gen got a late night phone call. “Hello?” Genevieve said groggily into the phone. “I knew you'd pick up my call.” Dean said. “What are you doing calling me in the middle of the night?” Genevieve whispered. She got up and went to the bathroom. “I knew when I saw you two that you didn't love him.” Dean said. “Excuse you?” Genevieve said.

“You don't love him Gen you still love me.” Dean said. “Fuck off Dean.” Genevieve said and hung up. She went back to bed and Elias brought her close and she snuggled into his strong and reassuring embrace. She loved him and she knew she'd always loved him no matter what. Eli was her person, her soulmate. It was funny because up until him she didn't believe those things existed at least not for her.

But now with him everything seemed so easy and so free. She was free, that was one thing she'd never expected from a relationship. When she was with Dean it seemed so forced and they'd fight a lot. It's not that her and Elias didn't fight,they did all couples do but not like her and Dean. Her and Eli had disagreements is what she called them. Her and Dean had, had nothing but long horrid fights.

Elias rubbed her back as if sensing her discomfort. She sighed and kissed his bare chest and he grunted. “Shh baby.” Genevieve said. He pulled her tighter against himself and she closed her eyes now sure nothing could get her not even her past. They were packing to head out on the road for the weekend when Elias pulled her close.

“Who's been calling you so late this week?” Elias asked. She kissed him long and slow. “No one Eli.” Genevieve purred. “Oh no Gen, I'm not doing that now tell me who's calling you.” Elias said taking her hands. “Dean.” Genevieve said. “And you we're what gonna lie to me, get me in bed and hope I'd forget that you've been taking your ex's late night phone calls?” Elias snapped. “Eli I've just been answering them because it's late and they wake me up I've told him to fuck off every time, plus Dean is no one to me now.” Genevieve said. Elias stood there looking at her. Her deep forest green eyes and vibrant red hair gave her this other worldly quality about her. Like she was some wood nymph or elf.

He brought her close and she looked into his green eyes and smiled as her hands player with his long brown hair. She jumped into his arms and he growled as they stripped each other. Her off-white skin was in another ball park when it came to his own tanned flesh. He laid her on the bed and kissed her passionately as he thrust inside her. There was no time for foreplay and it was a pity he loved to make her cum a few times just with his fingers and his tongue before he made her cum all over his cock. She arched into him and gripped his shoulders and he gripped her thighs running his hands down them and back up to her hips. This made her back arch more and she gasped into the kiss. “Eli that feels so good baby.” Genevieve said softly. “I love how soft you are Gen, how warm and wet you always seem to be for me at any time of the day.” Elias whispered as he kissed her breasts repeatedly.

She licked her lips and moaned as he rolled her already hard nipples between his calloused fingers. It always managed to send shivers down her spine when he touched her like this, hell when he touched her at all. She ran her hands into his hair as he lowered his mouth to one nipple and swirled his tongue around it sucking softly as he flicked it now. She moaned again as he kissed between her breasts as he moved to the other nipple. Her body was like his guitar he could play any melody or rift on it and it would sing for him. Although she was moaning and closing to screaming for him other than singing for him but he really didn’t care he loved anything she did. His hands gripped her hips and she cried out his name as she came for the first time that night.

He groaned at the way the walls of her pussy tightened around him and squeezed his cock tighter. He palmed her ass and lifted her hips up as he pushed deeper into her making her cum again. “Elias.” Genevieve screamed as she held onto his forearms her back arched sharply off the back her head buried deep into the pillow. He laid her back down and caressed her hips and up to her cheek kissing them repeatedly. “Think you can do that once more my love and I’ll paint your walls with my own release.” Elias whispered and kissed behind her ear. “Yes.” Genevieve panted and whimpered as she rolled her hips. He laughed and kissed her passionately as he felt her shaking under him. His thrusts now became sloppy and hard as he was getting closer to his own release and she need him to do that she needed him to cum for her like she had for him.

He thrust his tongue inside her mouth and she moaned against his lips as she gripped his hair keeping his lips to hers. She rolled her hips and met every thrust of his with thrusts of her own. He growled and threw his head back yelling as he came hard. “Genevieve!” Elias roared and she followed him as soon as she felt him fill her. “Elias!” Genevieve moaned as she came for the third time. They both panted as he laid on top of her and she always welcomed his weight on her she loved it, it made her fells special and safe. Once they were able to talk he spoke first. “I love you Gen so much more than I thought I could ever love someone.” Elias said. She froze and looked at him. “Eli you know I love you the same I always have it seems like, I never loved him like this.” Genevieve said. He kissed her forehead and she held him tighter. “I don’t want you to leave me.” Genevieve said softly. Elias looked at her and kissed her passionately. “I’m never leaving you Genevieve.” Elias vowed looking into her eyes.

The way the lights picked up his eyes that night was eerie as hell it felt like something was about to happen and she knew that it wasn’t going to be good. Dean was behind him the next time she looked at the monitor. “No.” Genevieve whispered. She had to watch she knew she couldn’t go out there she wasn’t supposed to be on TV. Dean grabbed him and yanked him up slamming him into the turnbuckle and she gasped. Roman and Seth were out there as well watching his back. She didn’t know what to do so she stood there and watched as Dean beat him to a pulp on TV and to add insult to injury he smashed Elias’s guitar over his head. Genevieve had, had enough she ran out and slid into the ring slapping dean knocking him off balance. She got on her knees and moved Elias’s hair from his face and kissed him softly. “Gen.” Elias whispered. She nodded and took his hand. “Who else would be kissing you handsome?” Genevieve asked teasingly.

“I need your help.” Elias said. She helped him up and got him to the trainer’s room. They didn’t need to send him to the hospital and that was a good thing. When thy got to the hotel he took a long hot shower and she waited for him to come out knowing that he would be pissed off at her when he got out. He got out and laid down on the bed with her. “I have him next week and I for one cannot wait to repay him for this.” Elias growled. “I guess you want me to find another hotel room and to move out when we get home?” Genevieve asked tentatively. “I want you to be with me next week I’ve cleared it with Stephanie and Triple H.” Elias said. “Eli.” Genevieve whispered and sniffed. He sat up and pulled her into his arms. “Shh my love I don’t blame you for this he choose to do this and he will pay for it.” Elias said. She looked up and he kissed her tenderly. “I am in love with you silly woman and he is not breaking us up that is all he is trying to do and I will not let him win.” Elias said.

Genevieve’s cell rang and she answered it without looking. “Ready to leave him now since I broke his face?” Dean laughed. “I love Elias more than I ever loved you Dean and you are not going to come between me and him.” Genevieve said. She hung up and Elias smiled kissing her softly. “That’s MY Girl.” Elias said. She laughed and they laid back and watched a movie. He rubbed her back and kissed her forehead as she slept in his arms that night he just couldn’t sleep he had too much on his mind. They hadn’t been together long but he loved her more than anything or anyone else outside his family. That was another thing his family loved her. When they spent Christmas with his parents and sisters they had raved about her to him after the Holiday was over.

The week and weekend went by so quick Genevieve wasn’t sure that it had happened at all. There she stood in an Elias shirt and jeans as she walked down the ramp with him for his match. Once the spotlight was on him she was moved back up the ramp to sit with the commentary team. They talked some during his performance but she never said a word. It wasn’t until Deans music started did she start to feel nervous and like she was going to throw up. She hated what he had become but she wasn’t about to leave Elias out there alone either. The match started and they went at it.

Elias had him on his ass in the middle of the ring with his neck at an odd angle putting pressure on it. When Dean got out of that they traded blows in the center of the ring until Elias gave him an upper cut that put him on his knees. Dean got up and shoved Elias into the corner delivering shoulder after shoulder into Elias’s midsection. Genevieve was on the edge of her seat the whole match until Dean was about to give Elias Dirty deeds and Elias turned it into Drift away and pinned him for the win. Genevieve ran down to the ring and jumped into his arms kissing him passionately. Elias held her tightly and stroked her hair as he put her on her feet. “I told you I wasn’t going anywhere Gen, I love you baby.” Elias said. “I love you too.” Genevieve said.

They went to the back and he kissed her again. She ran her hands over him and he smiled as he pulled back. “I want to ask you something Gen.” Elias said. “I’m all ears Eli.” Genevieve said softly. He kissed her forehead and smiled at her. “Will you marry me Genevieve?” Elias asked softly. He held her hands in his and she teared up as he pulled the ring box from his guitar case. “Yes.” Genevieve said. He stood up and slid the ring on her hand and brushed away her tears. “I guess this means I always get to walk with Elias.” Genevieve said giggling. “Yes.” Elias said. She kissed him long and slow and he held her tightly as he stroked her long red hair. “I love you Elias.” Genevieve said. “I love you too Genevieve.” Elias said.

@team-elias @thegloriousdisaster @scuzmunkie @kittysilver86 @alexnine @2sweetqueen @loveroflive78 @iwritewwe @soulofaravenheartofawolf @crayzeebizkit @livelifebeautifully81 @wrestlingxbalorxrollins @balordominion @adriennegabriella @briqueenofthenorth @hardyfangirl3 @lauri3strode @calwitch @meremaidqueen @dolphinpink310

[onmymasa22]

Man I feel all warm and fuzzy

Being with avi is just a warm fuzzy feeling

He's just cuddly and mushy and soft

He just feels like a butterfly

His neck kisses feel like butterflies

And in the car he told me he wanted a hug and kiss so I told him outside and the last minute I gave him a ton of hugs and he gave me lots of neck kisses and and then I asked him where he wants me to kiss him. And he said I should choose, so I kissed him on the forehead and he smiled. And then he asked if I could kiss him on the cheek and I said OK and I held his face and I kissed him on the cheek. I think he thought I'd kiss him on the lips but I can't. I don't want him to be just another boy. And he stares at me and I ask him why and he says because it's nice for him. And the way he asks me before he touches me so I don't feel like a doll. And I'm proud of myself for saying outloud: if u ask me on a date, I'd say yes. So we talked like three minutes how he's not strong enough and I'm not in the mind space to date. And although I don't know what to do with it when a boy asks to kiss me, but I like it.

When guy do the whole I want smart okay I'm smart I want this OK I'm that it means they have a crush on you. I have a crush on him, and I also wanted to shut him up. So I said if you'd ask me on a date I'd say yes. He said he thinks I need someone stronger. Maybe I caught him on his lie. Maybe all the checkoffs on the list of what I want was a lie and when I asked him to make an honest deal of it, he panicked. So he doesn't get me. It's his loss.

If someone does something bad to u, is there a way to heal yourself with out putting it back on them. I forgave them and removed it and put it on me instead. That's what almost killed me. I need to heal myself from everything

When someone hurts you, it is really easy to raise your ego. Maybe it's the bodies defense mechanism for something. It let's you lick youe wounds. It'd your body trying to take care of you because when you are hurt ur body is treating your while you heal like the only personin the world. It's also ego telling you that they were wrong and you were right which is your mind trying to make yourself a bearable place to be.

But then you need to lower your ego and understand that we are all human. We all make mistakes.

That let's you forgive everyone else.

Now how do you forgive yourself.

I know that forgiveness is a decision, so what keeps me from deciding to forgive myself.

He told me I need a strong guy

That's fine

But in my head, if I do tipul to heal myself, I get a job, do school, do kosher, eat well, buy the things I want. Long term goals are to find a place to live and become an emt

In my life I just want to ability to wake up with a cup of coffee and guitar and paint and have a family and everything like that

I like it when he hugs me tight

And when he picks me up

And when I sit on his lap

And when are legs are intertwined

And how we layed on the grass in the rain with a blanket over our head

And when he rubbed my back

I like it when he said that we had a moment

And and when he said he wanted to eat me

And when i sat on him and we hugged in the morning

Man it feels good

[whelvenwings]

hi, so, how did you start writing? I've been binging your fics recently (they. are. so. mcfucking. good.) but whenever I try to write anything myself, I just feel like I have no idea what I'm doing. is there some way to learn the ropes for this? I feel stupid for asking (like it can't be that easy) but I wondered if you had any thoughts. I'm just getting frustrated here.

hello anon!!!! firstly, thank you so much for your kind words and I’m SO GLAD YOU’RE ENJOYING THE FICS AHHHHHHHHHHHHH 

secondly, hmm. let me see.

I guess my first instinct is to say... read, read, read loads, like so much. it’s cliche advice by now I think, and also you clearly do already read, but it’s like... OK. so, I like to try my hand at poetry now and again, right. but when I try to write poems, so often I get this feeling of confusion and/or frustration. like, either I’m looking at a blank page being like, how do I... make my thought... go there????? or, I’m looking at a page with a poem on it, and I’m like - I know this isn’t good yet, but I can’t see how to make it better. should I change a word, put it on a new line, make it rhyme???? where is it wrong and how do I make it right?

and I just don’t tend to get that specific uncomfortable feeling with prose, you know? and maybe I’m wrong about this but I attribute it in general to the fact that I’ve consumed prose pretty doggedly ever since I was teeny tiny in a way that I just haven’t with poetry, and that means that when I’m writing prose, it feels like instead of trying to paint a picture, I’m trying to do a jigsaw puzzle. like, it still takes a lot of work to pull it together, but I can see when the pieces don’t fit and I can see where the edges are and I have a sense of what I’m aiming for. like, my writing style still needs and is getting a lot of work and it’s not everyone’s cup of tea and by some people’s standards, it’s not even good shit - but for myself, personally, it’s way more comfortable to write prose just because I have that feeling of knowing where I’m going.

that feeling can be grown just as much by the act of writing itself, though, I think. like, again, cliche... but practising writing does really help you feel more confident with it. 

if you’re struggling to start at all, my suggestion would be to pick a very short fic idea - like, Dean and Cas meet at a library, if you’re into writing destiel. then, sketch out a quick plot, like:

- Dean is working in the library, he’s bored, establish why he’s there and some setting stuff e.g. what the library looks like, what he’s wearing, who’s nearby- Cas walks past and Dean’s all WOW MARRY ME IN SCOTLAND ON A SMALL ROMANTIC ISLAND WITH JUST THE TWO OF US THERE AND YOU’RE WEARING A SUIT AND AN ANGELIC CHOIR IS SINGING- Cas sits down opposite Dean, Dean freaks out, starts trying to get Cas’ attention in a variety of weird ways (cue humorous fluff shenanigans) none of them work- eventually Cas gets up and leaves, Dean’s feeling :( like why am I so awkward, I will never go to Scotland- he goes over to Cas’ desk to see what he was reading and sees Cas just left a note that says something like if you’re reading this and you weren’t sneezing that often because of allergies and you weren’t dropping your pencil kind of near me repeatedly through allergies, call me? and then a number. and Dean’s like PACK UR FKIN BAGS KIDS OCH AYE IT’S JEST MA BOOOOOOOOW WE’RE GOING TO SCOTLAND

honestly I got a bit invested in that example plot bUT looking at this, I’d guess it’d come to about 1k-2k depending on if you’re feeling wordy or not? so just do the thing, tell the story, don’t worry about if it sounds like crap yet. when you’re finished and at the end of the story, that’s the time to go back and make edits. change dialogue around, add words in, delete words, whatever feels right. do first pass, second pass, third pass... reread it as often as you want. the more you do, the better it will be. your skills as an editor will improve just as much as your skills as a writer if you start with little pieces of writing and finish them and then edit them.

I hope this is kind of what you had in mind????? like you said, there’s no easy instant fix here, we’re just all confused and doing our best I guess hahaha. I’d tell you to believe in yourself but it’s pretty hard to just turn that crap on out of nowhere - it kind of tends to build up on its own as you successfully finish things, so my advice is to relax into any worried or negative feelings and just give yourself licence to be good or be crappy and do the thing no matter how it turns out. “this is going to be so baaaaaaaaaaad” says the brain voice, and you say “fuck dude, probably, but consider: I don’t care and I’m going to do it anyway because producing some bad writing is really nothing at all to be afraid of”. I’m at almost 100 fics on AO3 and I still have to remind myself of that mentality before every single one or I just never get going, you know?

anyway, this is now way too long. read, practise, screw the inhibitions, join the writers in the pit of crappiness where we all start and generally remain. you’ll be awesome.