#ok but have you tried the red bean kitkat

[madswonders]

Here, Have A Chocolate

Pairings: Spencer Reid x GN!BAU!Reader if you squint

Genre: The BAU bickering like a family, feat. Reader

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Wanted to write a blurb about that scene in Community where the girls find out that Abed has been charting their menstrual cycles except with Spencer and the BAU women.

Masterlist

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“Here, have a chocolate.”

The sound of Spencer's voice dragged your attention away from the book you were reading. He handed a red chocolate drop to JJ, who accepted it with a smile.

“Thank you, Spence. That's so sweet." She cooed.

You raised your eyebrows curiously at the doctor, but he only shot back a suspicious glance. "One for you too?" He offered the same to Emily, except purple-coloured, and she looked back gratefully.

"Awww — thank you!” She chimed, instantly unwrapping it and popping it into her mouth.

He had to know what he was doing. There’s no way he didn’t. Or you were going to eat your hat.

That was when Penelope rushed into the bullpen.

"Guys, you have to see this video of a baby panda," she paused to sniffle, "trying to walk for the first time!" She practically wailed as the other two gathered around her phone aww-ing.

Wordlessly, Spencer handed the tech analyst a tissue which she practically snatched out of his hand. "Have I ever told you that you've always been my hero?" She gushed at him, but not before blowing into the tissue violently.

The genius smiled proudly at himself, and that's when your patience snapped. You closed the book on your table loudly, causing everybody to look at you.

"You know that Dr. Reid here is keeping track of your menstrual cycles, right?” You announced, a small smile tweaking at the corners of your lips as Spencer's body tensed up.

There was a brief silence before Penelope shrieked. "No way! No, no, no, no, no. He couldn't, right?"

"Why the hell would he... oh my god." Emily muttered to herself in realisation.

"Spence, seriously?" JJ glared at him, both hands on her hips.

"I know. It's really creepy, isn't it?" You smirked at the doctor, pouring a heaping of metaphorical fuel on top of your metaphorical fire.

Spencer threw you a fierce glare, before turning back to them. "I can explain." He said calmly, raising his hands in surrender.

"There is a common theory that a woman's menstrual cycles begin to sync up with the women around them when they spend enough time together. So, out of curiosity, I've been observing your mood swings and cravings, and sure enough, a pattern began to emerge." He began.

"Of course, there were a few variations between each of your cycles — usually within two days to a week — but eventually there was a one to two day window where everyone's cycles overlapped." You couldn’t believe it, but Spencer actually began to smile as he got more and more caught up in his findings.

Oh, he was so screwed.

"And what did you do after that?" You asked innocently. He didn't even glare at you that time, instead answering your question with full enthusiasm.

"I figured there must be some way I can help, so I looked into natural solutions to alleviate period cramps and slowly narrowed down the most effective one." He explained, while the rest stared at him, completely gobsmacked.

"Wait, is that why you came to my house to cook me breakfast that one time?" JJ's mouth was agape in shock.

Spencer nodded. "Turns out eggs and peanut butter don't contain enough vitamins and minerals for an immediate effect. Nor do pineapples, salmon, bananas..." He counted them off his fingers, before waving them dismissively.

"Ultimately, chocolate and ginger yielded the best results, but it was too expensive and challenging for me to make ginger tea regularly, not to mention some of you aren’t the biggest fans of ginger," he glanced at Penelope, "so chocolate was the best option."

At that, Emily burst into laughter while the rest continued to stare blankly at him. “I can’t... believe I’m saying this... but he actually... makes sense!” She gasped for air, wiping tears from her eyes.

"I don't get it." Penelope said dazedly. "Do you have a little black book where you write down all of our secrets? What else should I be worried about? Are you monitoring our tax returns?"

"No, I have an eidetic memory, and no to your other questions." He replied matter-of-factly.

Penelope made a gagging noise. "The fact that you would use your big, usually beautiful, brain for something this gross makes it even... grosser."

"She’s right. Spence, this is highly inappropriate. Even if there was a good outcome." JJ reprimanded.

"I-I'm sorry." He looked almost guilty, but you noticed his hand reaching for the bag of chocolates and you tried to stifle a giggle. "More chocolate?"

Penelope grabbed the pink chocolate drop out of his hand and began to unwrap it, only realising belatedly what he was trying to do. She shrieked and flung the sweet across the room.

"I can't believ— get away from me!"

"Spence!" JJ reproached, placing her hand on Penelope's back and guiding her back to her office, away from... whatever this was. You couldn't hold it in any longer, joining Emily in crazed laughter.

Meanwhile, Spencer slumped into the seat in front of you, looking as sad as a genius with curly hair could. So you managed to suppress enough of your laughter to entertain him. "For the record, I thought it was brilliant." You offered.

"When did you realise?" He asked, still dejected.

"The first month. These girls trust you way too much, but not me." You bragged, gesturing at the bag of chocolate. "Now, can I finally have one?"

He looked at you strangely before dropping your favourite flavour, the dark chocolate one with honey comb, into your outstretched palm. But when a strange filling exploded in your mouth, your face scrunched in disgust.

"Ew— what is— blergh!" You chugged your water in attempts to drown out the flavour.

"Red bean." He answered, laughing at your disgusted expression. "I guess you do — what did you say earlier? — trust me too much?"

"Oh, you are going to pay for this." You fumed, but a devillish smile danced on your lips.

"Bring it on." He grinned.

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[x-male-gn-reader]

The New Cancer

Hey, so this is the first writing I've done in a while sorry if its bad! Please lemme know if I should continue this! I'm sorry if anyone's OOC Please tell me!

This is an AU in which the trolls and humans all in together on a meteor, this includes dancestors, no one had died as well.

Kanrki walked out as he shut the door to his personal bedroom. His heels clicked as he walked to the (F/C) door that stood in the end of the hallway. Lifting his slim hand, he knocked with confidence as he waited to be allowed entry. '(Y/N) excuse me but, we are running around 3 minutes behind and the others have already arrived. I have informed them of our late departure.' The door then was opened. In the door was a rather decently dressed person. There hair was a (H/C) that stood perfectly that framed their rather captivating (E/C) eyes. The clothing of which they wore had shown their own personal color. Pulling the outfit together was a (F/C) beaded bracelet on their right wrist.

Shortly after, the two figures had left their shared home. The two walked a short distance to a small house, decorated in dark blue painted walls, with a dark violet roof. The front door was a stunning red, framed with rich green plants. Kankri held open the glass screen door as the door was flung open rather roughly. 'You guys are here! Finally, Dave they are here!' John had said as he moved to the side allowing you in. After you entered he held the glass door for Kankri before closing it. You three walked to the common room of the home. On the three seat couch was Jade and Rose. Jade was lied on two seats, playing with a small plant themed rubix cube. The dog-girls head rested on Rose's lap as Rose was reading a romance novel called 'Midnight'. Dave sat on a red bean bag chair in front of the couch. Next to Dave was a blue bean bag chair and a dark red one with a picture of a whistle on it. The last seat was the love seat. On the love seat sat a rather tall troll. He had broad shoulders and a rather soft body. He wore a black knitted sweater with a cancer symbol. They had messy short black hair, on top stood two small nubby horns. The trolls face was painted with a snarl as their eyes lifted up to yours. Their scarlet red eyes softened and their snarl broke into a much softer look.

'Earth to kitkat, well, Alternia to kitkat.' Dave said as he flicked the trolls leg. 'Agh! Dammit stupid Strider what do you want!' The troll shouted as he glared at the blond that had previously broken him out of his daze. 'Wassup kankels and my fellow (nickname)' Dave asked as he leaned back into this beanbag. 'Hello guys! Who is this?' You questioned as you walked over to sit in a beanbag, only to notice that they were taken. You decided to be brave and sit next to the new troll. Slowly sitting down you decide to start a conversation, as everyone else was talking. 'Hi! I'm (Y/N), you must be the troll Kankri told me about. Karkat is it?' You asked as he turned to you. Your eyes widened as you examined his face. Karkat's face was decorated in small red/gray freckles. 'Y-Yeah, So how have you been dealing with these bulgemonglers this entire time?' Karkat asked as he shifted slightly to face you.  'When you live in the same hallway as Righteous Tights, it seems everyone is a bit less hectic.' You said as Karkat's hand slaps onto his mouth, You start to chuckle as Karkat tries to keep in his laugh but can't as he lets out a roar of laughter. This catches everyones attention as they look over in confusion. 'I don't think I've ever seen Karkat laugh like that' 'Me neither.' Everyone slowly turned back to their conversations as Karkat calmed down. You looked into his eyes, a mischievous glint in your eyes. 'Oh jegus what is wrong with you?' Karkat  asked as you lean over to his ear. Karkat's face grows a bit red but he lets you whisper to him. 'Do you wanna sneak out?' You asked before leaning back, so quick that when Kankri looks over he deems nothing is triggering so he continues talking to Rose. 'How the h3ll are we gonna do that?' Karkat huffs out. 'Watch." you respond as you stand up and take Karkat's hand. You begin to walk to the hallway where the bedrooms are, only to be stopped.

'You two are going where?' Kankri asked as he stood behind the both of you.  'Hey Kanks! I was taking Karkat to Dave's husktop setup! I wanna introduce Karkat to my friend but I left my husktop.' You said calmly as Karkat's face stiffened with masked hope as he prayed to gog their was no lecture. Kankri gave you an odd look, before his face melted into a warm smile. 'Ok then dear, but as a request please tell Porrim that the get together is going fantastic!' He said as he decended back to hi sbeanbag to talk about human romance compared to troll romance. 'Karkat let out a hefty sigh as he looked at you in disbelief 'How-' 'Don't question it' You interrupted as you quickly lead Karkat into Dave's room. Openeing the window you hopped outside, followed by Karkat. 'My  gog I though we would suffer one of his infamous lectures.' Karkat sighed in relief as he walked your form wander off to the street next to the house.

He slowed as he watches how graceful you walked, how you glided across the ground in front of him. How stunning you looked to him. No no Karkat control yourself! You can't start to gain flushed feelings for someone you just met! Even if they are charming, and their skin looks so smooth, and their hair looked perfect for you to run your hands through. Karkat shook his head as he ran to catch up with you. Little did he know, you were suffering the same thoughts.