#ok but 6 years in psychology n idk what im really doing 🧍

[dreamdaddyhotch]

someone made edit of aaron to i bet on losing dogs by mitski . im in shambles right now

the scratch episode DESTROYED me that i didn't even want to open that can of worms when i watched it. i never got so scared shitless watching an criminal minds episode like... aaron hallucinating that he HURT his dearest teammates that he so dearly loves???? Dont Speak 2 Me . and then just thinking abt aaron and his quotes about parenting... the iconic one where he said "...and some people grow up to kill them" and the quote he after an episode (cant remember sorry) saying "they mess you up, your mom and dad. they may not mean to, but they do. they fill you with the faults they had and add some extra just for you."........

i just know he has this absolute lingering Fear of hurting the people he loves. (hence the scratch situation terrified the living shit out of him too) and like yeah he has hurt people considering he has to make such tough decisions as a unit chief and when he left .. but thats whenever he chose work over his family :-/// but perhaps one part why he chose work is because he KNOWS he's GOOD at his job, but he thinks he's absolute shit at being a father and a husband. so why spend the time mending something you know that you're destined to suck and fail at???? and well, what if he did stay- but all he did was cause even more problems? (e.g. feeling frustrated he's not saving lives, taking it out on haley and jack). i bet one of his fears is to turn into his parents/the adult figures in his life that were harsh, demanding and straight up awful to him, who had hurt him... a young little boy who just wanted to be loved unconditionally. this man is so emotionally damaged, he's the kind of guy to literally leave you even though he loves you by saying that he's protecting you from him, because he thinks it's inevitable that he will end up hurting everyone around him in some way