#ok back to working full time 😪

[matchamida]

kenma’s smashing birthday

the nekoma team thinks you should really watch what you say. [a short kozume kenma x reader]

“Hey Kenma, wanna smash on your birthday?”

A horrid silence settles amongst the boys as they stop in their tracks and swerve their heads to you.

Taketora trips on his laces.

“Listen here,” Kuroo begins dryly. “Because you’re my friend, and I know how your brain works, I understand what you mean.”

“And what exactly could it mean?” Yaku squawks with a reddening face.

“Smash?” you clarify. “It’s a—”

“I know what smashing is!”

Kuroo throws back his head and laughs.

“Shut up! Ugh, I never thought I’d have to say that sentence out loud…”

“Sorry, what’d you say out loud?”

“I’m not falling for that. And you!” Yaku redirects his glare in your direction. “We’re in public! Think before you speak, will you? You’re attracting attention!”

Kai smiles politely. “Yaku-san. I don’t mean any disrespect, but it’s your volume that’s causing people to look at us…”

“…we need to move, now.”

“Wait, I need to tie my shoe.”

“Tora, for the love of god, you have ten seconds.”

“I’m hungry.”

“Lev, you bastard, we just had yakisoba. You had three plates. Gah, you monstrous beanstalks and your appetites.”

“I’m sorry you’re not a part of the beanstalk club,” Kuroo offers somberly. “You see, we only accept qualified members, which you’re clearly not.”

“Wouldn’t wanna be qualified when there’s an old rooster on board. With no taste in protein, I might add.”

Kuroo smiles, but his eyes don’t. “Lev, what do you feel like eating? Your options are either boring meat, or healthy, tasty, good-for-your-brain fish?”

The two impatiently wait for their favored answer.

“…since when did Nekoma have a beanstalk club?” Lev ponders.

“…Fish it is.”

Yaku sighs irritatedly. “Tora, you done?”

“Uh, not yet.”

“What—it’s been five minutes! How are you still tying your shoe?”

“S-sorry! It’s just that g-g-guh-GUHHHH-HUHHH-girl over there keeps staring at me and it’s making me nervous!”

“Are you struggling because she’s staring or is she staring because you’re struggling.”

“Both…” Yamamoto wails pitifully.

“Taketora-senpai, I’ll cover you from her eyesight!” And Lev stands very close to Yamamoto’s head to tower over his kneeling figure.

“Get away from my/his face, you idiot!” Yamamoto and Yaku shriek in mortification, prompting more people to look over.

“We’re not doing anything inappropriate,” Kai informs a staring passerby. “We’re okay,” he adds as Yaku attempts to pull Lev away, only to stumble and knock Lev onto Taketora. “Really, we’re fine,” Kai concludes as all three boys collapse like bowling pins.

Kuroo sighs haggardly, and looks over to you. “Now look at what you’ve done.”

You lay a steely gaze on the rooster enabler. “Like you weren’t a part of it.”

“Hey, I wasn’t the one who started it.”

“I just asked a question! Oh yeah, hey Kenma—”

“You’re all idiots,” Kenma finally says, emerging from the corner he vanished to earlier. “If everyone wants to treat me on my birthday, the least you all can do is behave and not act like animals.”

“I’m behaving,” you protest. “I'm doing a good job of it.”

Kenma shoots you a sour look. “Not doing a good job of being mindful. Do you ever think about what comes out of your mouth?”

“Huh? All I asked was if you wanted to smash on your birthday. We can have the team join us if you want.”

Kuroo coughs. Kenma looks ready to vanish again. In fact, you think he’s turning transparent as you speak.

“…I’m not asking too much, am I,” he mutters.

“Sooo.” You shuffle in disappointment. “No smash?”

Here, Kenma gains his full opacity back.

“YES, we can PLAY SUPER SMASH BROTHERS! Don’t be so weird about it. Besides, I’d… never say no to you…”

The bowling pins stop their squabbling and look over, understanding finally dawning on their faces.

“You couldn’t have clarified that earlier?” Yaku demands.

And here, Kenma deflates, spent from raising his voice and interacting in general. He slinks back into his corner. Kuroo inhales, and lets out another sigh like the old man he is.

“Now that that’s over with,” he says, grinning faintly, “ready for some birthday smash?”

“Always,” you say warmly.

“Do not,” Yaku warns. “Let’s get out of here already. Lev, Tora, up!”

“Um, Yaku-san.”

“Tora, what now?!”

“I need to tie my other shoe.”

[papirouge]

“She’s a cold heartless whore >:(“

Has a diaper kink

Why is this so common?? My friends ex was exactly like this. Except my friend had a miscarriage that he was convinced was actually an abortion and called her an evil whore for it. And the reason she left him before she even had a miscarriage was because she discovered he had a wet diaper fetish.

I AM ONCE AGAIN ASKING THE ANON WHO ADMITTED PUNCHING 2 TIMES A SCROTE WHO WAS SHITTING ON AN ABORTIVE/PREGNANT WOMAN TO COME BACK TO THE STAGE. GIRL THAT'S YOUR MOMENT🤍👀

Good riddance. Why is it that the most degenerate man also happen to have the biggest audacity??

Miscarriage are tragic but it *might* be good thing she didn't get to have a children with that degenerate (?) 😪

ALL MEN should be put into rehabilitation centers once they hit 18 to check whether they're not porn addicted or why any mental illness. They won't be out until they're fixed. That's something I told several times to my male colleague but they call me crazy but I constantly reply to them that the only reason they're uncomfortable with is bc they know they're mentally ill & pervets, and wouldn't be out lmao

I once told one who was saying it was ok for a 14 yo girl to date a much older men that he should be on a list.

I LOOOOVE lowkey taunting men irl. Calling them degenerates for watching porn and all. Lately I've been bullying an intern to stop anime LMAO

There's an IT employee who's been exposed making hentai on HIS PROFESSIONAL LAPTOP (the IT chief told me). I looked it up and he looks exactly how you'd imagine.... Unfortunately he's full remote so I can't confront him IRL

One day we got a call from the police after they flagged us bc someone visited CP website at work....🙃

#workinginamaledominatedcompanybelike

[gainerbf]

I Fattened Up The Lumberjack Working on my House

A weight gain story by GainerBF

———————————————————

My new cottage in the woods was coming along nicely. From the stone path leading to the door to the beautiful ponds in the back, it was truly my dream home.

However. My attention was elsewhere. More specifically on one of the lumberjacks working on my house. He was the only one of the group that was a lil pudgy looking. He had cute curly hair, red rosy cheeks and laughed a big laugh. He was dreamy, so much so that I dreamed about him. And I dreamed about him..getting fat.

I would make some hot chocolate or coffee for the lumberjacks but for, lets call him Red. But for Red, I snuck in a decent helping of heavy cream and used whole milk for his. He didn’t seem to notice.

‘Ahhh you’re too sweet *takes swig* mmmmm mmmmm best damn hot chocolate ever. Thank you dear’

Polite. A big burly gentleman. I NEEDED him.

‘Well mam, were mostly done. All it takes is a few more days of side work and a weekly check up for about 3 months to make sure the structure holds up. That only requires one of us so..’

RED. I blurted out. Oh my god what a simp.

The group chuckled knowing Red had won the lottery.

‘Well ok then. He’ll make sure everything goes smoothly for you and your home’

Play time 😈

Over the next few days, Red would come by and spend time at the cottage. And I would spend time fattening Red up. He didn’t really notice his flannel getting tighter at first

So I kept feeding him.

Cakes and cookies.

Soup and stews.

He ate half a turkey when he came for Thanksgiving and I won’t even lie I was in awe of that…

One day Red showed up in a large sweatshirt and my disappointment was immeasurable 😪

‘Little cold today Red?’ I jokingly asked

He chuckled and said something I had been waiting to here ‘you feed me too well dear. I can’t turn down your cooking so my flannel had to be retired sadly 😅’

That’s when I stopped him. I put my hand on his shoulder. And whispered in his ear.

‘But you look so good carrying that extra weight’

At first he was a little shook. But after looking down at his massive sweatshirt, he said something surprising.

‘I’ll be back tomorrow’ and left.

I had no idea what was coming. Was he angry? Was he embarassed? Either way, I couldn’t sleep all night. I made 3 pies, 2 dozen cookies and a cake out of extreme anxiety. I was ready to crash when I heard a knock at the door.

I opened it up and there he was, big Red in his flannel. His way way too tight red flannel. I got a bit lightheaded. I fell. He caught me 😍

He laid me down on the couch and kissed me. With so much rich passion and effort, he made me feel appreciated for what I had done to him.

‘I’m 300 pounds because of you’

And I was now wet because of him 🥲

Sex with a fatty is some divine blessing type shit. The bed is soft. Your fat fuck buddy is soft. You’re basically in a sandwich of soft. His weight crushing down on you, smushing you into the mattress. Heaven.

After all the activity, my big beautiful woodsman was hungry.

‘I’m starving after that workout’

Ok he was starving.

‘Got anything to eat?’ He said with a smile knowing damn well I had a bakery behind him

He settled down into a chair that was..struggling, to say the least. His clothes back on, me still naked in nothing but bare feet and a silk shirt.

I brought the goods to the table along with some whole milk to wash it down.

‘Open up big boy’

I fed him and fed him and fed him every last little bite of what I had made. He ate all of it. He drank all of it.

He started to shift a little. Uncomfortable perhaps? He did just eat enough for a small village.

While making direct eye contact, he pulled up his flannel causing his big jello belly to jiggle free from its restraints. I fell to my knees. It was even better when he was full 🤤

‘You are an incredible baker dear. Hell this massive mound here is the evidence’

He slapped his gut and laughed before heartily belching, which made him more red than his now outgrown flannel

‘Compliments to the chef, I guess my baking skills are top notch huh big guy? 😊’

He blushed then pulled me into his soft sanctuary. I felt so warm and at home in his arms. His kisses tasted like warm apple pie, which was a hell of a job by me if I do say.

Then he whispered something in my ear that drove me wild

‘…more’

—————————

Hope you enjoyed this as much as I loved making it 😊 I believe I have now given every person who reads this a massive fantasy about fattening up and getting railed by a big burly lumberjack. Glad I could do that for you 😂

[yandere-romanticaa]

Okok lemme try to explain 😪

So I finished classes early today at 10:30 am and I'm a commuter so my trip to uni and back is about 1 hour and 15 minutes, not too bad but I have to be a little efficient with my time. Now I live in Belgium a little over the border with the Netherlands and because the city I live in is not very big and I don't have a car I usually take a like 20 min bus trip to the capital of the province nearest to me in the Netherlands yeah? And one of the busses I can take takes me straight over the border pretty much right in front the center of the city with a supermarket like a 2 minute walk away from the bus stop. And right next to that supermarket is an Asian grocery store. So I went down there to get some stuff from both of those and when I was walking towards the Asian grocery store I looked up and suddenly saw this guy staring at me so I made sure to go very far around him into the store but he started following me and starting telling me how beautiful I was, that I was lovely and any man would be lucky to have me Yada Yada I unfortunately put my headphones away like a minute before I saw him so I couldn't even pretend not to hear him so I just tried subtly ignoring him hoping that being in such a public place would deter him soon but that didn't happen, then he started obscuring the path and trying to grab my wrist so I ended up only getting some noodles and rushing to the cash register and he finally left so I thought I was done with him yeah? I waited inside the store for a bit, got some Boba to calm down and the guy seemed to be completely gone so I carefully went out again and he wasn't in the area AT ALL, so I went over to the grocery store, I was peacefully shopping there looking at some bread and suddenly this guy rushes in the store loudly proclaiming 'We meet again' lemme tell you my heart sunk!! He started again with the compliments or whatever and said he just wanted to talk to me and to look him in the eyes because I was so pretty?? And I was just quickly going trough the store trying to get what I needed and told him I was busy and needed to go home but he started whining and telling me that I shouldn't be like that and that we should meet again because he wants to talk to me and he tried caressing my face but I dodged and went back to the cash register because I was finally done but this time he followed me and said he wouldn't leave until he got an answer and managed to grab my wrist this time and let me tell you I could CRYYYY!!! there were only teenage girls working near the registers at the moment so I couldn't even blame them but I checked out already and SPRINTED upstairs and by a stroke of luck the bus I needed was just approaching so I ran over there at full speed and it drove away and hopefully I won't see him again but omgggg I cried on the bus ride home I was so scared :( sorry it got so long I needed to explain everything properly

IT'S OK BABE, I literally died on the inside when he started throwing those weird ass compliments at you, men like this are some of the biggest enigmas I've ever encountered and I'll never understand why they do this... You were saved by the grace of God, the universe or whatever the hell you believe in but I hope this never happens to you ever again... I legit don't even know what to say other than maybe a few self defense techniques wouldn't hurt to know.

[xuseokgyu]

Yes! Only time will tell though if I actually watch his drama though, I have been awful with watching shows lately. Uh basically the rest of 96 line plus Mingyu and Seungkwan are at the top currently. Though Vernon lately.. hmm.

Oh yeah all vocal unit songs are so good. Fav Unit. All My Love is a really good one... Woozi is just very good at lyrics 💞 Pinwheel and Come To Me are probably my fav vocal unit songs. Come To Me has a super cute little dance that goes with it too... and I've been thinking about changing my blog description to be like idk... #1 pinwheel fan, svt pinwheel defender or something. I love that song (and the lyrics) literally so much. Hm for full group tho... lyrics wise the first song I can think of is Without You, I love the verses in that song so much... especially the first one. Ah and then Lie Again... the beginning bit from Jun to Coups, and how the song ties back to I Don't Wanna Cry. When song lyrics reference other songs... I love it. Seventeen has few songs like that. Oh or when lyrics like tell a story...

omg you pinned the ask sorry I took awhile :( I've been busy and oh so tired 😪💤 I did not sleep very well this week... my sleep deprived brain power was being all used up at work lol. Your answer has been sitting in a separate tab on my laptop. I also still need to start on the gift 😬

Um if you could spend a day with your biases what would you do? Individually or as a group.

~sss🎁

Cat line is such a good line... I applaud hahahha and true carat dilema right there, many many members claiming a spot

I 100% support that description too hahah Pinwheel is absolutely incredible AND YES songs having connections to others songs is just sooo cool

And no worries about the time!! I pinned more because I knew I I had taken quite a while to answer too (this one as well 🙈) and I know it can get hard to find things, also because tumblr likes to mess with the search feature...

Ok that’s a really good question... I’m really a homey person so really just chilling watching a movie would be soo good, maybe a slumber party where you get more and more sleep drunk and you start to get super silly and have the best time of your life! This can be with my three boys or the whole group; We know these boys can get crazy and they are the funniest people around

Also, karaoke with DK... I would looove to sing with him... I always sing his adlibs in songs the dream