#ok back to queueing up normal posts for people

[bamsara]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH

Sorry I hope this isn't too sappy but I wanted to write a big thank you to everyone that came to stream last night and just abosultely obliterated me with kindness and support

For folks who weren't in stream: I had planned on setting up a commission thing on kofi to start tomarrow (today, now, but a day after this chaos event) to raise money to buy myself a christmas gift of a Switch, planned on clearing out a whole few days to try and earn money, but after figuring out to make a goal post thing on the KoFi page and on stream I decided to save from posting commission listings until I had a full day to sit down and stream it all since I had something else planned in the middle of the day

I did an art stream later in the day and let me tell you I was *floored* by kindness and people were just being so nice and im aughsdglhsdsdgsds. Not only did we meet the Kofi Goal, BUT THEY KEPT GOING. I'm scared to look at the total amount and I plan on refunding some folks when they're not looking because I feel so bad because tbh I haven't deserved or rightfully earned the amount of generosity given to me but I just wanted to say like, holy shit. Thank you? Thank you oh my goodness

I HAVE A SWITCH NOW. AND SOME GAMES. Animal Crossing and Monster Hunter: Rise to start. I've played Monster Hunter before so it's a love of mine but Animal Crossing is something Ive only gotten to play the free pocket camp phone version of, and watch videos of, so I'll have to learn the woes and wins of that game and I'm super excited!! And I'll be able to play online with people too holy shit

If you were in stream then you already know but if you werent or maybe tapped out early then I tried to caluclate and make a list of people who wanted doodles for what they donated, and the amount to my old commission list (sorry I haven't updated my examples in 2 years) and I plan on drawing doodles for the large donators and the folks who really just slammed me with love. I have some drawings to post already! If you see me drawing something on stream and finish it and not post it pls remind me because Im REALLY bad at that

Also I promised chat that I wouldn't open the Switch box until I did it with them so we can do that later tonight when I get fully home, but YEAH!

Anyway THANK YOU. I'm not the best with words but oh my god THANK YOU

[asexualmisconduct]

INTRO POST :3

ok so I realized i didn’t have an intro post so heres my intro post

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ok turns out i don’t know how to make an intro post..

ummmmm ok so i guess umm stuff about me???? Ummm oh ya! Dni criteria

DONT INTERACT WITH MY BLOG if you are / support

pro shipping

rascism

incest

abuse of any kind

homophobia

hate against religions

anti recovery

ableism

nazis

think a-spec people don’t belong in lgbt+

hate on furrys, cosplayers and other stuff like that

(just basic dni criteria)

Im apart of many different fandoms so ya. heres a few I’ll update it as i remember/join more:

🔱Percy Jackson and the Olympians🔱

🏛️Heroes of Olympus🏛️

🏃‍♂️the maze runner🏃‍♂️

🪄Harry Potter🪄

🔥the hunger games 🔥

🌿the graceling series🌿

⚙️the girl who dared series⚙️

✨divergent✨

✨alex rider

🩸twilight🩸

🌲gravity falls🌲 (kinda?)

Webtoons:

🌈acception🌈

🎪marionetta🎪

🍬spicy mints🍬

🔮morgana and oz🔮

💜homesick 💜

⭐️the d!ckheads⭐️

‼️school bus graveyard‼️

🛸down to earth🛸

🎭our walk home🎭

🐞bugtopia🐞

📓jacksons diary📓

🧜‍♂️castle swimmer🧜‍♂️

💖maybe meant to be💖

🩸vampire husband🩸

🔆day break🔆

👻rooftops and roommates👻

*to be continued*

I’ve been reading these so if you have any recommendations or questions please send me them :3

ALSO im asexual ( if you didn’t get that from my username well��.)

DO NOT SEND ME NSFW STUFF!!!!!

I sometimes post/reblog triggering stuff.. so ya.. I normally tag those: tw [x] if I forget to tag something please tell me so nobody gets triggered by it please. Edit: i now have a vent sideblog @tir3d-and-confus3d so probably wont post anything triggering unless its on accident:3

I TRIED OUT ROLEPLAY AND I LIKE IT SO ILL ROLEPLAY IF YOU WANT TO MAYBE

also if you tag me in something or message me and i don’t reply back quickly i either didn’t see it or i got busy and will reply back as soon as possible

I also don’t know what or how to use the queue so if i like something im gonna reblog right then just fyi :3

Edit if i ever say anything imma tag it #the gremlin speaks

My Name: idk make something up you think would suit me

My Gender: Your Mother

My Pronouns: I honestly couldn’t give a shit go crazy

My Age: Fuck You

💥user box blast 💥

[i-am-snowils-admiral]

I need you to know I absolutely love your tags on the webtoon poll you reblogged from me I 100% agree with your reasoning on all of them

also also!! you’ve read all the same webtoons!!! I only just read s-rank hunters and real estate like a few weeks ago!!! hahaha I’m just excited to find out someone else I know has read them

gotta ask then - what should be my next obsession? I’m currently binging doctor stone (mostly anime but I’m trying to catch up on the manga but it’s hard when I get close to the episode I’m on and then binge an entire season in a day (extra side note I just graduated last week and am spending my newly found free time poorly)) but I am always open to new recommendations, even if it means they just get dropped into my queue of things to read!!

this turned out to be much more stream of consciousness than I originally intended. oops.

This is so wild because I just picked up Dr. Stone about a week ago. I've mostly stopped reading around ch 78 but it's still open in a tab somewhere so I could always go back to it.

I'm so excited we've read the same stuff!! Post-graduation is the perfect time to get into a bunch of random webtoons. Literally what else are you doing. You are free.

In terms of recommendations...hmmmm I actually have a few. Hopefully at least one of these you haven't read yet. Actually I'm going to rate these ones as well for how much I'd like to be a side character.

Often included with the ones we were talking about would be SSS-Class Suicide Hunter, which is pretty good. I'm not caught up but it's super fun and every once in a while will hurt your heart in a good way. (Rating: I'd be happy to be a side character here. Things would go miraculously and somewhat suspiciously well)

Omniscient Reader's Viewpoint is a classic as well. (Rating: You couldn't pay me 10 billion dollars to be a side character in this thing)

I've been really enjoying Pick Me Up, Infinite Gacha - it's an interesting take on the "trapped in a video game" plot that actually manages to be semi-unique (I think, at least) in a genre that is not unique in the slightest. (Rating: Also wouldn't want to be a side character. Han Yslat is only interested in like 10 incredibly powerful people and I would be synthesized for someone else's growth for sure)

Dungeon Reset is just. They gave this man Minecraft powers. Good for him. (Rating: I'd be a side character but only if I got to also have Minecraft powers and hang out in all the cool secret bases)

The Newbie is Too Strong is pretty fun as well, I think they just started a new season so chapters are coming out again. (Rating: I would want the NPCs to like me so much. Not sure if I'd survive this one but I'd be making friends)

Eleceed. The plot of this one is: Cats! Also unimaginable violence against children. Interspersed with more cats. It's incredible. (Rating: Depends heavily on what KIND of side character I was. I am not kidding about the incredible violence but I think if I was a normal person I'd be ok)

Happy reading! Congrats on graduation! I've definitely started reading things because you were putting them on your blog, so I'm happy to throw recommendations at you as well!

[pieofdeath]

ok my liveblog of the first spiderverse movie below the cut because its fuck off long. its 6 pages on google docs. for people who don't wanna read that- I had a very good time and I thoroughly enjoyed it, I'm gonna queue up the second one here shortly. i legitimately cried several times.

Intro fucking slaps

Miles’ dad using the cop sirens and car speaker to make miles say ily back. I hate that i find this incredibly funny.

ARE THOSE NIKES. DID SONY GET THE RIGHTS FOR NIKES.

MIDDLE SCHOOL. Oh my god. Middle school. Hes a kid. Hes at most 14. Oh my god.

DOC OCK <3

GWEN SPOTTED!!!!!

Fisk family foundation. Is this the time i should mention my extent of spiderman knowledge comes from my faefriend (very little they just show off the cool suits) and the snapcube fandub.

Uncle aaron rules and i think hes gonna die

Alchemax. Wasnt that the name on the spider from the intro. 

I THINK I GET IT NOW

SPIDER IN THE CEILING SPOTTED

This movie is so pretty btw i know everybody says that but its simply true. It is. Its really pretty.

The graffiti slaps

I've switched to typing these on my phone so I don't have to keep pausing

SPIDER BITE

THAT WAS THE COOLEST THING EVER. INCREDIBLE TRANSITION. LOVE HOW MILES BARELY CARED AND JUST SLAPPED THE SPIDER 

Yeah those are actual Nikes 

THE VOICE IN HIS HEAD POST SPIDERMAN BEING REPRESENTED AS COMIC BUBBLES

HOLY SHIT THIS MOVIE IS GENIUS.

Why doesn't she want people to know her name is Gwen? Why is she lying about being south African 😭

gwanda. Wanda. 

THE SHOULDER TOUCH. MILES YOU ARE SO SILLY 

“I don't think you know what puberty is”

STICKY SPIDER BOY.

SHE FULL THREW HIM HOLY CRAP

“No one saw” literally everyone saw

the double take for the super tall girl. that's incredibly realistic/gen I think this movie is awesome 

OUT LOUD BARK-LAUGHED AT “play dumb.” “Who's Morales” “NOT THAT DUMB.”

Idiot spider smashing into windows. obsessed with him.

the zoom in on the eyes. this art style is incredible 

THE INCREDIBLY SICK LAND AFTER HE GOT HIT BY THE CAR!!!

page break 1

“It's like. boring how normal this spider is.” and it immediately glitching in and out. INCREDIBLE.

The SPIDER SENSE. HOLY SHIT. 

THE GIANT LOOK OUT ON THE WINDOW.

SPIDERMANNNNN

“Brooklyn is not zoned for that” 😭

The little squiggles as Peter RealizesTM

who the fuck is purple guy genuinely 

MILES RECORDING THE FIGHT I LOVE HIM

KINGPIN 💖

I genuinely don't have words for how fucking incredible that was

“Can't you get up?” “Yeah, yeah I always get up.” Hm I don't think that's gonna be true for much longer

Is spiderman blonde I thought he was a brunette 

DID HE JUST FUCKING KILL SPIDER-MAN!!!

Ok purple guy is cool as hell

HE IMMEDIATELY RAN HOME. I'm going to cry. 

This kid is 14. I'm going. 

SO YES HE LEGITIMATELY DIED.

STAN'S COLLECTIBLES. HI MR LEE. AUGJDJAKAKC…. 😭 (these r agonized noises)

“I'm going to miss him.” EUFHFJSKAK

We were friends, you know.” SURIEJSKAKDUFUA

“It always fits. Eventually.” EURUFJDKAKDJCJK.

you can't fucking do this to me. 

This is just a kid with a party city suit that doesn't fit and untied shoes.

THE AAAAAAA AS HE FALLS

oh shit he broke the drive thingy

The suit still has the fucking tag on it.

EVERYTHING AROUND PETER'S GRAVE.

“I'm sorry Mr. Parker.” AUDJFJDJDJAK…..

LIGHTNING POWERS

PETERRRRRR THE PETER IVE SEEN

THE INTRO DEFINITELY HAD OFF BRAND COCA COLA AND THIS ONE HAS LEGITIMATE COKE

HOLY SHITTTTT

he's divorced and aunt may is dead D:

Crying in the shower in the spiderman suit with a piece of pizza on the tub rim I think this is the most spiderman img ever

“I'm pretty sure I broke her heart”

Nick Kroll and John Mulaney “hi, hello” but they're super old 😭

YEAH OK OK IT WAS KOCA SODA. 

“I don't think my atoms are real jazzed about being in the wrong dimension”

“With great power comes great-” “Don't you DARE finish that sentence”

Miles crouching on the side of the wall

page break 2

ITS THE MEME IMG YAAAY

CLACKITY CLACKITY CLACKITY-

MILES CAN TURN INVISIBLE 

HER INSANE DESKTOP

HES JUST TAKING THE WHOLE COMPUTER!!!

GWEN ALCHEMAX INTERN

“let me tell you the good news. We don't need the monitor.” 😭

BAGEL! guy!!!!!

GWENNNNNNNNN

Ok I paused during the swinging scene to go get some food and get dressed and then came back

It was oatmeal btw

OHHH THIS IS NOT THE GWEN HERE

The fact that all of the intro shots are the same is very fun to me

Peters her best friend AWWW

OH IT IS THE GWEN HERE!!!

I THOUGHT IT WAS!! BECAUSE SHE WAS WEIRD ABOUT HIS STICKY POWERS

AND SHE TIME TRAVELED TOO… SO COOL

“I like your haircut.” “You don't get to like my haircut.”

“How many more spider people are there?” “Save it for comic-con” “what's comic-con”

Every time we cut to kingpin I lose it 

AW VANESSA AND RICHARD :(

why is this guy blue btw they haven't addressed it at allllll 

Fascinated by Gwen’s universe where Peter Parker isn't spiderman.

AWW PETER AWAKE IN THE BACKSEAT 

AUNT MAYYYYYY

I'm literally obsessed with aunt may 

ALL THE DIFFERENT SPIDERSUITS!!!!!

my faefriend has told me about all these I think. like a good chunk of these I recognize. No idea what they're called or what they do but.

THE IMG OF MILES LOOKING UP AT THE SPIDERSUIT.

THE NAME TAGS FROM THE INTROSSSS

SPIDEY SENSES

SPIDER NOIR HEHEHEHAHAUD

PENI AND HER FUNKY LITTLE MECH!

HIIIIIII SPIDERHAMMNMM!!!!!

LITERALLY OBSESSED WITH SPIDERNOIR. 

the dichotomy between noir peni and ham is so so funny

Noir is so cool

Augh… Them talking about how he isn't ready when he's right there…

HIS DAD CALLING HIS UNCLE… 

Why is he writing a letter in marker

Fucking prowler. looks so cool

OH SHIT PROWLER IS UNCLE AARON!?!?!

page break 3

NO LONGER WORRIED ABOUT HIS SAFETY HOLY SHIT

DID HE BRING HIM TO THE TUNNEL WITH THE INTENT OF SPIDERMAN?!

Uncle Aaron HAS to know that it's Miles

This is so fucked

Peni doing her fun thing!

Noir trying to identify colors!

Does that mean noir can only see grayscale. that's hilarious.

I love the different art styles

Aunt may like please let's not fight in my house

“We don't pick the ballroom, we just dance” noir I'm obsessed with you

Did ham just crack a plate over his own head

I love that he can turn invisible that's so cool 

Especially when he keeps flickering in and out when he's scared. Miles my beloved 

OH HE DIDN'T KNOW IT WAS MILES OH THANK GOD

I mean this is really really sad but also good because it means he isn't knowingly  homicidal towards his nephew 

HOLY SHIT. 

KINGPIN SHOOTING UNCLE AARON BECAUSE HE DIDNT KILL MILES

I'm going to sob on the fucking floor

HIS DAD 

HIM TURNING INVISIBLE BECAUSE HE DIDNT WANT TO FACE HIS DAD AIGHSJDKA…

HIS INVISIBLE POWERS ARE LITERALLY THE MOST HEARTBREAKING THING IN THE WORLD

HE THINKS MILES KILLED HIS UNCLE FUCKKKKKKKK

THEM NAMING ALL THE PEOPLE WHO THEY WATCHED DIE. AUDJFJCJSKAF…

IM LEGITIMATELY TEARIN UP GANG FUCK THIS MOVIEEEE

if you can't tell I love it

“Miles, the hardest thing about this job is… you can't always save everybody.” SAID BY A LITTLE CARTOON PIG VOICED BY JOHN MULANEY. 

ALL OF THEM CRAMMED ON THE CEILING OF MILES DORM HOLY SHIT 

Noir is really funny to look at in the light

I don't think noir is in the second one which is 😭

The relationship between Miles and his Dad is literally going to make me cry

THE LIGHTNING CRACKLING IN HIS EYES AND THEN HIM BURSTING THROUGH THE WEBS AND THE PATTERN ON HIS SKIN!!!!!!!!!!!

Aunt May waiting for Miles in the basement!!!! 

HIS EYES LINING UP WITH THE SPIDERMAN SUIT WHEN THEY HADN'T BEFORE.

The what's up danger scene really is that fucking incredible. oh my god. I got chills.

He spray painted his suit and the spider is drippy!!! I'm literally about to go feral.

The hoodie and jacket and Nikes and shorts still over the suit. 

The WOOOOO as he goes up the place he fell before.

The incredible shot of him stationary mid-air that I think was the poster

This is literally the coolest movie ever

page break 4

HIS COMIC JOINING THE PILE.

THEM DRESSED AS WAITERS DJDJDJJAJAJC

PETER AND MJ…

DRAMATIC CUT TO NOIR HOLDING A PLATTER AND GWEN SO GODDAMN TIRED

MJ is so pretty in this art style btw. 

The Doc Ock tentacles creeping in through the ceiling right behind Peter…

MILESSSS

“I love you I'm so proud of you!” AUDHFJDJAJAJDK!!!!

MILES MAKING PETER RE-EVALUATE IF HE WANTS KIDS…

NEW YORK BREAKING APART

Noirs fight is SO COOL. Putting the hat on the guy and then punching him in the face.

sorry I love film noir as an aesthetic and spider noir is so cool

PENI V SCORPION 

THE FUCKING ANVIL. 

FUCK THEM UP HAM!!!!!

PENI HITTING THE GUY WITH A ROBOT ARM AND IT BRIEFLY FLICKERING TO HER ART STYLE!!!!

PENI’S ROBOT FRIEND D:

DOC OCK GETTING HIT BY A DAMN TRUCK

obsessed with Peni and Noir's friendship.

NOIR SAID HE LOVES THEM

HE TOOK THE RUBIX CUBE

EVERYTHING FLICKERING BLACK/WHITE WHEN NOIR ENTERS

HAM SAYING “THATS ALL FOLKS” AND PETER ASKING IF HE WAS LEGALLY ALLOWED TO SAY THAT 😭

GWEN AND MILES FRIENDSSSS

MILES HOLDING ONTO PETER'S SUIT AND DROPPING HIM IN. 

“It's a leap of faith.” FUCK YOU

“Not bad, kid.” FUCK YOU 

Miles taking kingskins gun and saying “that's cheating” 😭

VANESSA AND RICHARD LEAVING THE SAME WAY THEY DID IN THE FLASHBACK BECAUSE KINGSKIN WAS DOING THE SAME DAMN THING. FUCK ME DUDE.

MILES DAD IS WATCHING

THE ENTIRE FUCKING BRIDGE. 

This is the coolest fight scene ever btw

HE ELETROCUTED KINGSKIN WITH THE FUCKING SHOULDER TOUCH

the fact that the interconnected universes look like a spider's web. fuck dude.

HAMS ANVIL

THE BUILDING FUCKING EXPLODED. IS MILES’ DAD OK!!!

IS HE FUCKING OKAY!!!

OK THANK GOD HE'S ALIVE

HIS DAD OFFERING TO PUT UP SOME OF HIS ART AT THE POLICE STATION

C-MOBILE 😭

THE HUG!!!!!!!

page break 5

IM FULLY CRYIN BTW.

KINGSKIN HELD UP BY THE WEB. “FROM YOUR FRIENDLY NEIGHBORHOOD SPIDERMAN.”

THE UNCLE AARON ART. FUCKING HELL DUDE.

Omg miles finally has friends

PENI'S ROBOT FRIEND!!!

NOIR SOLVED THE CUBE!!!! I proud of him

PETER GOING TO SEE MJ WITH FLOWERS…

GWEN CALLING OUT TO MILES ACROSS DIMENSIONS!!!!

THE SPRAY PAINT SPIDER

the credits are fucking INCREDIBLE

the different art styles I'm going to scream

NOIR SHOWING OFF THE CUBE. 

Did that just say Nicholas Cage.

Who the fuck is voiced by Nick Cage.

NOIR?!?!?!?! WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN HE'S NOIR HOLD THE FUCK ON.

N O I R?!?!

Incredible movie.

“That person who helps others simple because it should or must be done, and because it is the right thing to do, is indeed without a doubt, a real superhero. -Stan Lee” FUCK ME SIDEWAYS WITH A CHAINSAW DUDE

Literally crying again over that.

Ok yeah that was a really good movie. I'm gonna start the second one in a bit. I think I need some recovery time 😭

Wait I skipped to the end to see if there was an after credits scene and. Ok obsessed with Spidey-Bells. 😭😭😭

MIGUELLLLLL I KNOW THIS GUYYYYYYY 

THE SPIDERMAN SCENE. THE POINTING SCENE.

IM GOING TO CRY THIS IS SO FUCKING FUNNY

INCREDIBLE AFTER CREDITS SCENE.

end of liveblog! as you can see I really fucking liked it akjdfskajf I had to put the pagebreaks in otherwise tumblr got mad about like. 4096 characters per text block limit? ok wild. it provides checkpoints which I think is nice. onto the second movie.

[sare11aa11eras]

Hello! From sometime in the day August 19th to sometime in the day August 27th, I will be UNREACHABLE, as I’ll be in no-service zone back back back woods. (As in, I would have to be in a car for over an hour in order to have near-normal cell-service. Which may happen, but infrequently and without warning.) I have a queue set up, (it includes some on my own pieces I thought I’d bring out again, as well as other people’s work) but I won’t be reblogging posts as usual. If you DM me or send me an ask, I’ll see it when I’m back in civilization. Sending me things IS ENCOURAGED 👍🩷🥰✅ bc it makes me happy to see others think about me when I’m not here <3. Ok have a good week folks 👍👋❤️

[adampage]

stupid shit under a read more

somehow, just as pride month is starting, it has managed to become hostile on this website. not in regards to pride, but in the circles of people on my dash.

and i will be attributing that to one dumbass famous asshole motherfucker, but i’m also gonna attribute that to people actually believing that the personalities we put out to other people on the internet are the whole truth, and believing you know what’s going on in everyone’s minds. and i will, also, attribute it to the fact that none of you can just be fucking normal without sending each other anon hate. i’ve seen hate being sent to people from both sides of a stupid fucking issue, and it’s really, dreadfully disappointing. it makes all of you look like idiots. and the vaguing’s just as annoying.

i’ve been on this website for literally? 14 years. with this same account. this exact same blog. my entire teenage and adult life is on here. i’ve grown as a person here. a Lot. and yet, now, probably because of some personal shit i’ve dealt with in the outside world as well, i’m finally thinking of taking a real fucking break. and that SUCKS. because i’ve always liked it here. but i think, for now, i need to stay off for a while. im gonna take my own advice.

its so funny bc i was gonna try to let the stupid punk shit go and then a vague from a mutual about “if you wanna know what’s going on with stu and uno breaking up watch roh” was what broke my camel’s back lol just because i reblogged something about tony breaking up uno and stu and tagged it with “WHAT” like i cant even tag shit with my thoughts without being fucking condescended to through a vague lmao. so yeah. it took 14 years but ive had enough of other people on here. gonna try to make friends in real life ok. emphasis on try

I’ll be back in time for Hangman’s birthday week. and by that i mean i’ll probably just queue my posts and try to reblog everyone’s, because i’ll be out of the country then anyway.

gonna try to add some stuff in the queue to last a few days but we’ll see. if i make hangman gifs, i’ll post them to the gif blog as usual but i won’t reblog them here. don’t wanna deal with this blog right now.

bye for now, y’all

[cyncity2000]

I posted 1,221 times in 2022

That's 141 more posts than 2021!

165 posts created (14%)

1,056 posts reblogged (86%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@salemruinseverything

@combeauferre

@sithiegoodness

@castielsupernatural

@twelvefifteencomic

I tagged 1,193 of my posts in 2022

Only 2% of my posts had no tags

#i like (the idea of) queue - 567 posts

#bastille - 127 posts

#send my regards to super hell - 110 posts

#video - 81 posts

#spn - 58 posts

#tiktok - 53 posts

#jill gets asks - 47 posts

#writing shit - 44 posts

#charlie barnes - 36 posts

#destiel - 35 posts

Longest Tag: 138 characters

#so when it went back to paper for a bit i’d just take entire plates of fruit and dessert with me when i left 🤷‍♀️ sometimes real food too

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

yes i’m totally normal about woody & his dad doing a lil pub gig with dan and charlie and proceeding to play teenage dirtbag together, during which dan comes up to the mic with his phone open to the lyrics and then proceeds to immediately leave his microphone and go share with charlie instead for literally no reason. i’m fine <3 just . look at this shit

53 notes - Posted April 17, 2022

#4

ok but i am CRYING at this headline

57 notes - Posted January 6, 2022

#3

this was too long for twitter but honestly i was pleasantly surprised about the publicity for heartstopper because i expected everyone on twitter to be like "wELL if every single actor doesn't immediately come out to everyone then how do we KNOW all the queer characters are actually being played by queer actors hmMM??" bc yknow. the internet is just Like That 🙃

and heartstopper's response (bc they almost certainly anticipated this) was literally just like "we have a queer cast, trust us, and not a single person in the cast owes you any more information than that. not to MENTION we go above and beyond to show you that this tv series was CREATED not only by an openly queer author who was given FULL control to write the entire screen adaptation of their own graphic novels, but also by a openly queer director who specifically made sure to hire as many queer workers as possible for every. other. department of the show. because yes, it's super important that queer actors play queer characters; but it's even MORE important that the representation extends FAR beyond the people you see on screen."

bc THAT IS HOW YOU HAVE GOOD REPRESENTATION. NOT forcing all of your actors to spend every single interview fielding questions about their own personal gender & sexual identities. good representation is making sure that―unlike the majority of films and tv shows, sadly―if you look beyond the main cast, the roles of director/producer/writer/photographer/makeup artist/crew member/etc are ACTUALLY fulfilled by a diverse group of talented people. true representation doesn't stop at the actors, or the portrayal of characters. it goes all the way up the ladder to everyone making the movie/tv show/etc happen in the first place. change can't happen long-term unless "older," well-established people in the industry (like euros lyn) use their position to create opportunities for fresh, new, young, diverse talent.

tldr heartstopper is a brilliant example of how to properly create a series both by and for the lgbtq+ community, and i was SO relieved to see all the publicity revolve around the story and the actors and the importance of representation WITHOUT requiring anybody who wasn't already out to clarify anything about themselves.

(ramble mostly inspired by this and sourced from this, if you haven't watched the video you 100% should !!! also ofc special shoutout to kit for taking absolutely no shit from twitter)

70 notes - Posted May 16, 2022

#2

me, busy screaming about bim & senab maybe going on the US tour with bas

meanwhile, bastille:

85 notes - Posted April 18, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ok slight tour spoiler ahead but: during one segment he asked us to pick a noise and an influencer. someone said ‘boink’ and he was like ‘somehow that still sounds sexual’ and then we got to influencer and he was like ‘oh my god did someone say PHIL??’ so the sentence ended up being something about a secret society called the boink run by phil lester

and THEN he fucking says (something like) ‘joke’s on you, me and phil have been in boink together from the START!!!’ and. dan. my dude. YOU were the one who said boink sounded sexual do you not realize what that Sounds Like 💀

172 notes - Posted October 14, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[tiikerikani]

All aboard the time machine

2024 Aug 18 – Utran Uittoareena, Joensuu

Funnily, 2 years ago, on this same mid-August weekend, I also saw Rautiainen on Friday and Vesterinen on Sunday. But that's not the only parallel, as you will soon find out...

The usual shore pic:

I cut short my traditional listen-through of Sorni Nai because I heard music coming over from the theatre already at like 4:15. I went over to the yard there and sat on the usual steps facing the restaurant. Turns out the audio techs were setting up their stuff using tapes from previous performances, which ... really confused me at first.

Regular Groupie drives through the yard at 4:25, followed immediately by Merch Table Guy and Merch Lady. Regular Groupie walks over to me a bit later to say hi (she'd ended up parking the car in the other lot outside). At this point (about 4:45) the band van shows up and the guests who had purchased the pre-show dinner go inside the restaurant.

When I went inside to get my usual mug of coffee, I noticed that there was a stack of paper tickets by the till. So they did exist, despite not having really needed to use them. Anyway, I found out on Friday that they do actually scan the ticket QR codes now (they might have switched to this last year, since my paper ticket then had a unique alphanumeric code printed on it), so I'd printed out the ticket email at the library the day before.

The same (I think) two fangirls who blocked me in the queue last year started the queue again this time, but I remembered from Friday that there would be a second lane so I took up position there instead. I was first to be let in at 5:55 (yay for QR code on paper) and casually jogged to my normal first row seat. The girls took the other side of the centre aisle.

It's also my tradition to read something sociology/philosophy-related while queuing/waiting.

The woman and her husband on the other side of me were local. They weren't able to snag tickets last year but were on the ball this year. I think they must be newer fans because they didn't know about my cape. She was really excited to practise speaking English with me (it happens, I don't really mind). She'd recently lost a family member, so she was in tears the whole time. Not to trivialise her grief but certain songs trigger a grief-like mood in me as well and I also wanted to cry but sometimes I just can't. It makes these posts really hard to write.

Pictures part, I guess:

These people in the boat hung around a bit. There were also some people sitting on the dock on the other side of the river almost the whole time. Hey, free entertainment.

People more proficient with their cameras or whatever can go ahead and take their portrait photos of his infectious happy face. I'll be in this corner trying to capture his other, less common, expressions. My pictures don't win any popularity contests and that's OK.

Oh hey got a good picture of Markus and his grin again (he was not wearing fun socks)

I tried to get a few more of these reaction shots but I need more practice with the iPhone:

Why is he gesturing at me again after a [checks notes] 15-month break? (I'm not complaining but I thought he was over it.)

The two fangirls hung around after and wanted the set list signed by whoever they were able to catch, such as Jukka-Pekka. Markus was talking with some couple, and the fangirls and I hovered trying to find a gap in the conversation. It just didn't feel like it was happening so when I did get a moment I just said "Thank you" and shook hands and went on my way.

Maybe it's because it was Sunday, but the place cleared out really quickly. Like all the guests had either disappeared into the bar or (more likely) gone away within at most 20 minutes. Even Regular Groupie had to jet because she had work the following morning and needed to drive like 6 hours to get home. (She's told me once but I don't remember where she's from.)

Merch update: In addition to the denim jackets with the back patch, they'd also printed the design on the backs of t-shirts. Which, in my opinion, is less fun because it isn't as self-referential that way. They were also selling the patch separately so people could sew it onto their own things, but they'd already sold all they'd brought with them this weekend. I'm not really sure where I'd sew it. Like it looks quite large but is it the same size as the big Nightwish patch on the bottom of my party overalls? It'd take up a huge chunk of the apron I got for Vappu this year, which I'd hoped would give me at least a couple years' worth of space...

Maailma palaa

Kohti sydänpeltoja

Samaan mutkaan kaatunut

Jamesin takki

Kolme hyvää vinkkiä

Ilman mua

Tummilla teillä

Rodeo

Turisti [intermission]

Exodus

Valot eteiseen

Kiljut riemusta

Faarao

Kanto (yes the guitar solo is improvised.)

Kukaan ei koskaan

Nuoriherra

Hetken ikuinen

// Arlandan portailla

[Concert write-up archive and master calendar]

[jojotichakorn]

Hey Archer, idk if it’s just me but today’s episode of Star in my mind was very confusing and difficult for me. I’m referring to the whole one day boyfriend situation with Phoon and Daoneua. Why does Phoon chose to go through all this pain and misery when he knows his feelings aren’t being reciprocated. I found it hard to watch the ending scene with the kiss and the fighting coz it just hurt my heart 😭😭😭😭

it's all because phoon is a fucking selfish dick!! no sugarcoating it! like, he is clearly lying to neua and manipulating him. he has repeatedly used neua's inability to properly reject someone to his advantage, and the entire one day thing - especially the photo that he posted - is clearly to coerce neua into giving him a chance by creating all these incredibly weird and awkward situations.

i've kind of mentioned this before - khluen is very respectful of other people's boundaries, so much so that he can barely ever make any move or say anything unless he is absolutely sure he wouldn't be crossing those boundaries. and neua sees that as a flaw because it's kind of nice to have someone you like really "fight" for you and insist on being with you, even when you literally say "i WANT to move on", to which any normal fucking person would answer "if that's what you want, you should do it" regardless of their own feelings.

but i think this juxtaposition with phoon that we are seeing now especially shows very clearly why this kind of behaviour just doesn't work outside of someone's imagination, where the person who is so insistently approaching you is definitely someone you like and can basically read your mind.

phoon is just not a good person. but he is also playing into this very common stereotype of how you're meant to "chase" the person you like, insist on being with them. amatonormativity fucked us over in many ways, but my least favorite way personally is how normalized this weird, selfish, entitled, even stalker-y behaviour is when your feelings are not reciprocated or even when you just like someone. and that's actually not ok, but because we've all been taught that this is how you are meant to act and what you are meant to do, so many people do it and others want to experience it.

neua has never actually been in a relationship and he has been in love with someone for years, so he's definitely imagined thousands of scenarios and i bet all of them are unrealistic. and on top of that he feels kind of betrayed because his heart was broken, so there is this maybe even subconscious desire to see khluen really work for it, and also to just kick all the doors down just to get to neua.

instead, what neua got was a rather timid, soft-spoken, careful and respectful khluen who has a hard time navigating social interactions and can't read social queues for shit, so he just takes everything at face value and says really direct things that others would never say, and in my head that's a boy who you can easily build a wonderful and healthy relationship with. but he is not the protagonist of a tv show who will mistreat and abuse the person he loves in the name of love that we were taught to idealize when we were younger, so there is this clear disconnect in neua's head between what most media seems to portray as the actions of a man in love and what khluen is doing.

and coming back to phoon, he is much closer to that man who will do anything, say anything - just to be with the one he loves. and i think the essential role of phoon in the show is not to just have a fucking asshole who not only repeatedly crosses boundaries but puts on sunglasses and pretends he doesn't see that he's crossing them, but to have this image of a guy who's really "fighting" for it, which is seemingly what you are meant to do. and increasingly it's showing neua why that's absolutely fucked up, actually, and how it just doesn't feel good, makes you completely uncomfortable, and is a huge dick move in general. and why khluen's "i stop, step back and immidietly apologize if you so much as blink /exaggerated" attitude is much more preferable.

[mindthelspace]

Thanks for this! It's explained what's going on really well.

Word of comfort to Germans from a British person (... OK I know, not a point in my favour, we Brexited like idiots, you're generally doing better than us. But still!):

This post sounded kind of familiar. I couldn't help but compare it to the fun and games we had a couple of years ago, where Liz Truss (a broken AI made by the ghost of Ayn Rand) got voted in as Prime Minister... and broke both the economy and the government within two months.

Quick highlight recap of that time:

Truss quickly releases an unfunded, unresearched budget that was basically her personal wishlist to Economics Father Christmas. Short version was that she was going to cut taxes, cut taxes, and cut taxes- especially for the wealthy- and pay for national infrastructure with Blitz Spirit(tm) and pixie dust. This budget immediately blows a £40 billion hole in the UK economy (because investors everywhere decide the UK's gone utterly mad), which in turn triples some people's mortages overnight.

As you can imagine, this makes her rather unpopular, including with her own Conservative party. She's been so much of an incompetent right-wing dickhead that the 'incompetent right wing dickheads' party are looking at her like "hey, hang on, what the fuck are you doing!"

TLDR Our economy has lost the plot and the government is infighting.

About a month after this, Liz Truss fires her loyal chancellor that she had, up until that point, presented a united front with. It's blatantly to try and save her career. It doesn't work.

Liz Truss disappears from like, her job. At one point a senior Conservative MP (Member of Parliament) has to insist the house of commons that 'the prime minister is not hiding under a desk'.

This all culminates in a vote, which may have been a vote about fracking or may have been a vote of confidence in the Trussterfuck's premiership (even Conservative MPs weren't sure), that immediately descends into mania. Multiple major political figures resign. There are reports of MPs in tears. There are reports of MPs being physically manhandled to the voting queue by Truss loyalists (and, oh, we do not do amateur dramatics like that here!). Liz Truss herself misses the vote because she's too busy trying to talk a senior staff member out of resigning. A Conservative MP tells BBC News that the whole thing was 'a disgrace the party can't come back from.'

A few days after that, she was out. Just two months after being elected prime minister. She's officially the shortest serving Prime Minister ever (the next shortest died.) It's wild, unheard of. British politics doesn't work like this. This kind of unhinged political chaos doesn't happen to us.

... That was two years ago. These days? We're... OK.

Don't get me wrong, we have a rising far right just like you do (where doesn't these days), and our new government is better but not amazing. It does feel more stable here though than it has in years. Some things even seem like they might start getting better! Truss' bullshit blew over, and we got back to normal.

Also, there was 100% a point where The Trussterfuck got so awful it looped back round to being funny. Once politics really loses the plot, sometimes all you can do is laugh.

... Anyway that point of this is that Germany will be fine. Political chaos isn't always doom, and based on what you've said about the way your government works, it sounds like this will sort itself out. If Scholz can fire Lindner, anyone can fire anyone, and that in itself makes a far-right takeover way less likely. Unless a convincing AFD majority is a real risk (which- I might be wrong but I don't think it is), everything will work itself out, and you'll get to have a bit of a laugh in the meantime.

Good luck- you might need to buckle in for a bit- but definitely don't panic or despair!

Okay alright sorry for all the sudden German politics influx but lemme explain what happened so far and why Germans are losing it a bit:

The tldr? Our government is getting a divorce and it's turning messy with elections being called early and now being called even earlier.

The longer version?

Okay so, groundwork first:

in Germany there is a coalition currently in power called the Ampel(traffic lights) bc the colours of the party are red, yellow and green (or not anymore or for much longer??). They're centrist slightly more left leaning than right leaning. (You could argue about that I am aware). There has been infighting for as long as this coalition has been going on. It is also the first three party coalition since y know, the Last Time.

So. Enough groundwork. The yellow party (FDP) has a finance minister (Christiane Lindner) it's this guy

You will see him in memes I am sure. We don't like him. He's an asshole and has blocked every meaningful change that the coalition had been trying to accomplish. He also got his finance plan blocked by our highest court because parts were against our Constitution.

(.... I am oversimplifying hard here it's actually more complicated than that and not fully his fault, but it's also not the focus)

What WAS the fault though of him and the FDP was that they had a strong position of "saving money at all costs" which made bigger and bigger rifts with the two other coalition partners who were more leaftleaning. The war in Ukraine, Infrastructure, climate change - there were many places that needed more money and Lidner was like naaahhhhh for no fucking reason other than "oh we need to save money!!"

Long story short there have been arguing all the fucking time and therefore have started to lose approval. Drastically lose approval. As on for the first time since the Last Time there is a far right party in charge for part of the country that is also being investigated for being Nazis. (Oversimplifying again).

Which is. Worrying. You know. Especially with Trump now being elected. It has us all a little skittish.

The finance minister has also now been fired.

You see. We were all still trying to stomach Trump winning the US election, when Scholz, in the same fucking evening, fired Lindner.

And not in a polite way. Nah. Olaf fucking Scholz our Chancellor, notorious for saying literally nothing, and with a running joke that he regularly stops existing bc that man Does Not Take Stances, a spine of wet cardboard, delivered this yesterday evening:

(English subtitles by me you already got this far watch it I spent too much time on this lol)

And it is insane alright. For his standards and German politic standards thats the equivalent of calling Lindner a egomaniacal bitch that has only his self interest at heart and can not be trusted.

Lindner and his party have been pulverised in all recent elections. Which means that after he was fired, the FDP completely withdrew from the coalition and all minister from the FDP resigned.

....well all but one who apparently stayed in his positions because he's leaving the FDP over this. What sort of shitty backstabbing kindergarten fight is this. (Jokes aside hes the minister of transportation and says he needs to stay in office in important projects. Which. True. Having minister resigning en mass is not good)

Alright cool cool cool cool. Current situation yesterday is the following:

So. Trump is president. Fuck.

Lindner got fired! Yaaay!

Wait my goverment is now also falling apart! Fuck.

Which all lead to new elections being called in Germany.

Mind you, that's not usual ok. I know other countries have systems where they can call an election whenever but that is not a thing that normally happens here. We have a schedule alright. (Insert obligatory "Germans and their plans and structure" joke)

So new elections are called for spring, nearly a year early. Cool cool cool. With a right wing rising in Germany and deeply unpopular current leadership. On the eve of motherfucking trump getting elected.

Habeck, leader of the green party and one of the few policians in germany I think is vaguely liked by ppl (the general attitude in German politics is less "I like this guy" and more "you are the least shitty choice I guess") has appearently also nearly started crying after the news broke. So. Yeah.

Now. Let's make this shitshow complete,alright?

There is this party. CDU. They had been in charge for a very long time in Germany. Centrist, right leaning, with the afd on the rising even more right leaning than before. Their current leader is Friedrich Merz, as unpleasant as human beings can go.

He has now called for the new election to be not in a few months but like. To be called next week.

In the current climate.

So yeah. if you're German mutuals and friends are currently going through their own stages of grief - this is why.

[daddy-suguru]

Ok these mood of the hours are fucking amazing😩❤️

Waking up toji with kisses and teasing him awake. Lightly trailing my fingers up and down his chest while kissing his neck

I'd definitely interrupt kentos work out, just because he can't work out infront of me and not expect me to get horny😩😂 maybe definitely even try to give him head while he's still in the handstand

Thank you I’m thinking about possibly doing them more frequently. I could set them up in my queue as random posts maybe?

I thought about doing something where people submit their own moods of the hour that I don’t respond to but just post. I like the interactive idea of it but that’s really on whoever reads and would like to participate to make this a thing.

He would already be hard before hand since you’ve been eyeing him up since you woke up and found him working out in his living room.

Kento’s arms and body wound start to tremble when you push up his sweatpants. And with the angle that he is add his cock lays on his stomach.

From watching his arms flex with curl with his barbell. To sitting on his back leaving a wet spot since you soaked through your panties while he did push ups. And now your finally deciding to test him.

Your lips are soft as kiss his base near his bunched up balls. That you gently grab and massage as he closes his eyes and groans. He says, “Your lips are soft soft sweetheart, feels nice having up kiss up on my cock like that.”

Grabbing his cock and holding it to your lips so you can take him into the back of your mouth. Before pulling your head back till he almost slips out of your mouth. With only his tip in your mouth you suck a little harder. He smirks, “I think I can still fuck my cock into your mouth like this.”

as for Toji….

𝐜/𝐰…somnophilia

On the mornings he wakes up first and he moves out of your arms slowly. Normally he likes to see your face as he slips his fingers between your legs and starts plays with your clit.

Toji adores how you moan his name in your sleep. And he can’t help but start softly talking to you when you do. You will wake up as your cumming and you’ll hear Toji saying, “‘Bout time you woke up, teasing me by moaning my name in your sleep. You’re always being so sweet on me waking me up with kisses while rubbing my cock.” Toji starts sucking in your nipple while he gets on top of you.

Slowly dragging his hands down along the shape of your body to your hips that he squeezes. Before moving his hands back up to your arms which he puts above your head. When he crosses your wrists you understand that he wants you to keep

Toji isn’t quiet while he sucks on your nipple. He groans as he flicks your nipple with his tongue. While softly sucking, he can’t help but grind his hips. He starts starting down your stomach, he will keep from biting he likes soft love making in the morning when he wakes up. Since he knows he can wrecks your pussy another time.

Toji will still be a tease as he kisses around your lips while he holds your legs back with his large rough hands. He likes to softly kiss that crease between your legs. Before slowly moving closer to your pussy lips. Which he will admire as he licks his lips because of how wet you are before him.

Toji will spread your lips and press a soft kiss to your clit. Which he softly sucks into his mouth before pulling away and saying, “I’m normally so mean to her don’t you think. Maybe I should kiss her better, so she not mad at me what do you think?” As he teases you by circling the tip of his finger so he can feel you clench at the possibility of having his fingers push into your heat. He won’t make you wait very long before he pushes one finger in. He knows you so well that even with one finger he has your thighs trembling and your hips grinding down on your finger. While he presses a open mouth kiss to your clit so he can flick it with his tongue to hear you moan his name.

[apatosaurus]

Yesterday’s Adventure

In which there was a lot of drama but I'm fine, it's fine, we're all fine.

Yesterday I took my dad to an appointment. That’s not really what this post is about, but it’s background to what happened next. Taking my dad to appointments involves helping him in and out of his wheelchair, lifting his chair to get it in and out of the hatch back of the car, and wheeling him around places operated by people who don’t think about accessibility. Dad is doing a lot better than when he got home from the hospital on June 1. I’m glad our family takes care of each other. Anyway, I had some trouble getting the wheelchair in and out of the car yesterday, which I didn’t think about at the time but may have been the source of the problem.

Once we were settled in the waiting room around 10am, I noticed a mild pain on the left side of my chest, and I was a little dizzy from the exertion and the elevator. We stopped by on the way home to pick up his favorite sandwich, then got him home and settled in his recliner. My chest still hurt, so I rested for an hour. After I got up and made lunch, my chest still hurt - not a lot, but in the place one should pay attention to - and my left arm ached. So, at that point I realized I needed some kind of medical assessment. I also helped the visiting nurse get set up to change the dressing on my dad’s wounds - nursing comes two or three times a week, I do it the other days.

Once she was set up I conferred with the partners about our plan. Ackb sat with me while I called the insurance company’s advice nurse. The advice nurse said call 911, and said that was preferable to getting someone to drive me to the hospital, and under no circumstances should I drive myself. Ondiru checked the website for the urgent care clinic. They said do not go there for chest pains, call 911. I let my dad and the visiting nurse I had to leave and why. She said call 911.

So we called 911. The first time I called, I got the county, who tried unsuccessfully to transfer me to the city. That took five minutes. Then I hung up and called again and got the city.

The paramedics came, they were great. My EKG in the ambulance looked ok, but they said they still advised me to go to the hospital. We went to the one near us instead of the bigger one where my doctor is. While they were on the radio finding an emergency room that could take me, they installed an IV needle with only two attempts.

The tech at the hospital took my EKG again and said he liked my rainbow dinosaur shirt. My EKG was normal, so they left me in the waiting room. I got a chest X-ray. Ackb arrived to keep me company. Then we waited. It was about 2pm at that point.

I understand that hospitals are busy. I do not understand why telling a patient their own treatment plan is tantamount to sharing military secrets.

I think it was around 4pm when they took some blood and checked my vitals.

I asked a nurse about what would happen next and she said they are very busy and she couldn’t tell me anything.

We waited. They took my vitals around 6:15.

At 6:30, Ackb went to pick up dinner. We realized while she was out that there were advantages to her trading places with Ondiru. So he brought my burrito and Ackb went home and helped my dad get ready for bed and attempted to tuck in the children, who were too worried to sleep.

Around 8:00, Ondiru inquired about my treatment plan. Maybe it was a different nurse, maybe it was his manly customer service skills, but he found out that they wanted a second blood test with four hours between to show a trend, then the lab would take 30-60 minutes to return results, then I would be in a queue to see a provider.

And Lo! They took my blood again at 8:30. They also pricked my finger for a pregnancy test. Then we waited.

We got called into an exam room around 9pm and saw a PA. Basically my heart is 100% fine. They didn’t look into any other possible causes. At a wild guess, they thought maybe muscle strain from lifting heavy things. Take pain medicine if I need it. They asked if I had any questions, then they asked “the boss,” meaning Ondiru about any questions. I can’t even. But then the PA left to complete the discharge paperwork. Eventually the nurse took the IV needle out and they let me leave at 10:00pm.

I reassured dad and the kids when I got home so they could sleep. I did not like making them worry.

So, lots of fuss to prove that my heart is fine. My pain went away. Now I know the grass is not greener at the little hospital next door.

[thetriggeredhappy]

in the dadspy au, what if jeremy was just going to be an assistant/cook/janitor at the base while his dad was being the mercenary (since spy didnt want him to follow the "career" but didnt want to be separated from him), but then jeremy turned out to be even better than the hired scout so they promote him to that position and spy is not happy with this at all

ok i was gonna put this in the queue to post but im impatient because im happy with this one. only thing i didnt have was spy being upset by this development

(warnings for canon-typical violence, discussion of mercenary-type things, paranoia, alcohol, and exactly one proper fight scene. consider this pg-13)

-

“Would you prefer the good news first, or the bad news?” Dad asked.

Jeremy looked up at him from where he’d snatched up the sunday comics from his dad’s newspaper and was doodling little hats on the characters while they waited for their food to arrive. “Uh,” he said, “good news first.”

“Alright. The good news is, do you remember that line I’ve been tailing? The one in New Mexico?”

“Uh, yeah,” Jeremy said, then nodded a little more confidently. “Immunity, safehouse, somethin’ like that, right?”

“...Something like that,” Dad agreed carefully, and that made him raise an eyebrow. “It went well, and I think there’s the very real possibility that I’ve all but closed the deal, all they want now is an interview.”

“...Interview, singular,” Jeremy said slowly.

“That’s where the bad news begins. Unfortunately... merde, how to phrase this?” He drew a hand down his face. “They’re fully willing to hire me on, but this is a more... corporate affair than I’m used to. They have rules, stipulations. Long story short, they will not hire you as a mercenary on the basis of your age.”

Jeremy tensed. “What?” he demanded. “That’s stupid, I’m old enough to drive and buy guns and whatever the hell else.”

“But not rent a car, at least in many places in the United States.”

“But—“ he started, and remembered they were in public, and lowered his voice to a hiss, leaning in. “We’re hired killers, thieves, criminals. Do they really think we’re above having fakes? False documentation?”

“Actually, that is one of their requirements,” Dad said dryly, taking a paper from his jacket and consulting it. “I’m not happy about it either, mon lapin, but those are their rules. Already they have slightly bent them for one individual, and already I am on thin ice. But I may have a way to manage this.”

“Yeah?” Jeremy asked, nervous now.

“I know the woman responsible for new hires and managing the team I’ve applied for. She owes me a favor—a fairly hefty one. When I go in for the interview, one of my demands will include you being hired on, not as a mercenary, but for... for custodial purposes, something like that. Cook, janitor, security guard, secretary—whatever job there is that needs doing there, and I am sure that there will be one. Something to allow you to live there. Pay will likely be her stipulation, and the play I hope to make is that really, you’re overqualified for the position and she’s lucky to have someone so competent available, and in the worst case scenario, the pay is still good enough even for just one of us that we will not cut too deeply into the savings.”

The savings. That made Scout blink, because they only ever brought up the savings when—

“You think this could be it?” he asked quietly. “Like, it it?”

A hard exhale, and he leaned his cheek on his hand. “Potentially,” he finally said. “I don’t want to get your hopes up, but the job promises a variety of things. Medical attention available, extremely low levels of danger, and most of all, confidentiality. The only people who will know any name we give them would be the woman in charge of hiring us and their singular medical professional. There is no mode of communication to or from the compound outside of emergency lines to the organization and a single secure payphone located two miles away, there is no civilization within a twenty-five minute drive minimum, and this operation has been going long enough that the local authorities have long since grown used to being paid off, and likely don’t even remember what for anymore. I cash in a few valuable favors and ask this employer to turn a blind eye, we’d have somewhere remote and secure to spend our time after our deaths are faked and once the contract is over, we can start over. No ties to the past.”

“Freedom,” Jeremy marveled.

Silence for a few seconds, broken only by the quiet chatter of the rest of the diner. “I want to warn you, this work may not be glamorous. It may not even be particularly easy. I’m giving you the option of saying no,” Dad said.

“What?! Yes, hell yes, are you joking? To get us to living like normal people? Steady work? Livin’ in one place? Count me in!” he laughed.

“What if the job is something you won’t enjoy? Long hours, boring work?” Dad asked, entirely serious.

“I’m still on board.”

“What if the other people working there are rude to you? Disrespectful?”

“Well most of the people I meet through our job now try to kill us, so really it’s an upgrade.”

“What if there’s no diner nearby?” he asked, and there was a glint of humor in his eye.

“Damn, sorry, that’s the dealbreaker,” he joked right back, and that made him snort, shake his head, greet the waitress as she came back with their coffee and soda and then informed them that their food would be out shortly.

“I’ll ask,” was what Dad said once she was gone again, and that was that, and they started driving to New Mexico two nights later.

-

“—A warm welcome to our two newest recruits. This is the Spy, and this is the Guard.”

“Guard?” asked one of the men at the table, his accent thick and distinctly Russian. It made Jeremy tense slightly, but he didn’t let it show.

“Night Guard,” Jeremy answered, voice clipped.

“He’s not technically hired on as a mercenary like you all, he won’t be joining you on missions,” the short woman apparently named Miss Pauling (Jeremy was fairly sure it was a fake name) said, hands folded in front of her neatly. “He’s here to work security. Keep an eye out during the night, filter through the camera footage, handle the archiving, things like that.”

“We’re hiring on a civvie now?” asked another man, thick Scottish accent a little harder to digest than the eyepatch and the grenade he was in the process of fiddling with the internal mechanisms of.

“He’s combat ready, and will still be armed. His job is to essentially make sure you’re all safe enough to sleep through the night,” Miss Pauling said.

“I’m not some chump,” Jeremy agreed. “I know my stuff.”

“How old is he?” another man asked, this one in a hardhat with a heavy drawl, looking concerned.

“Twenty, for your information,” Jeremy said, a little sharply, eyes narrowed.

“If you have any other questions, there’ll be time later on. For now, I do need to show our two newest recruits where they’ll be staying,” Miss Pauling cut in.

There was an audible scoff from one of the men at the table, a dramatic rolling of eyes. Jeremy glared at him. He unfolded and refolded his extremely tattoo’d tree-trunk-like arms, tugging the visor of his hat between. “Sorry,” he said, accent thick and distinctly Californian. “I just don’t have the most trust for some scrawny kid in slacks and creep in a ski mask.”

“Scout, don’t start,” Miss Pauling warned.

“Just saying,” this man, apparently called Scout, muttered under his breath regardless.

“Don’t,” she said again, more firmly, and ignored the second eye roll she got for the trouble. “If you two would follow me.”

And they were shown around the base, and Jeremy in particular was shown into a room stuck behind three locked doors, where he found camera feeds and recording equipment. She gave him a basic overview and a thick packet of instructions and policies labelled ‘highly classified’ and a phone number to call if he had any further questions, and a set of hours that were apparently meant to become the new standard for him (with the quiet addendum that if he finished early that was alright, and that technically he could turn in early if two or more members of the team were already awake for the day and he was caught up on the archiving of old tapes).

Then he was left to “get used to the equipment”, which he assumed meant his dad was getting a similar rundown of his job, and it took a pretty quick glance through the packet to understand that clearly this place ran on an extremely secretive and closely monitored series of systems. In the packet, between the sections on camera maintenance and operation hours, were a few sheets detailing what were apparently the movement patterns of the various members of the team, including frequented locations and previously recorded large-scale infractions (mostly on the part of the Soldier, the Medic, the Scout, and one from the Demoman).

He wasn’t the one with the title Spy, but fuck, it seemed like he might as well have it. His entire job wasn’t even necessarily to keep the team safe overnight—he was just meant to watch all of them to make sure nobody was anywhere or doing anything out of the ordinary.

The next time he saw his dad, waiting outside the infirmary to get some sort of physical evaluation, his face was arranged carefully enough that he could tell he’d figured out something was up, too.

“Got your job assignments?” he asked quietly in French, glancing towards the door into the infirmary.

A nod, a glance. “I’m intrigued by the methods used in employee evaluation,” he deadpanned. “Especially the fact that apparently, they’re willing to assign employees for the explicit task of doing them.”

“How often?”

“Weekly.”

“Thorough,” Jeremy deadpanned, and glanced towards the hall at the distant sound of laughter, echoing from somewhere else on the base. “That’s basically mine too.”

There was a long silence, and when Jeremy looked back over, his dad was giving him an almost expectant look, waiting. All he had to offer him was a shrug, which was returned after a moment with a vague shake of the head. “I don’t believe it will be a problem,” his dad said simply. “Not for us, at the very least.”

Jeremy nodded. “Yeah. Uh, anyways, good luck with the… physical, or whatever,” he said, and received a pat on the shoulder before he walked back off down the hall, hoping to figure out what exactly he was supposed to do with an entire room all to himself. He’d almost never had one before.

-

He was used to time changes and jet lag, to needing to switch his sleep schedule on the regular, but the switch to a straight up night shift was a rough one.

His nine-to-five was actually a ten-to-six, as in 10 PM through 6 AM. This meant that, assuming he managed to get his schedule in order, he’d be able to join in on the team dinners if he woke up early and could eat breakfast with them before he went to bed.

Very quickly he realized that going to dinner and breakfast with the team was going to become a staple part of his routine, because it didn’t take long before he began to feel extremely lonely all of the time. In a dark little room, everyone else asleep, scrubbing through tapes from during the day while half keeping an eye on the live feed from around the base that never showed much of anything, it was brutal. It was suffocating.

It was easy, at least. It didn’t take long before he got efficient at it and could start zoning out, and it wasn’t like he was under much pressure. His was the only room without any cameras in it. Security risk, apparently. 
And to be honest, what small amount he and Dad interacted with mercenaries and other criminal types, Jeremy didn’t really tend to like them much. A lot of them were loud and rude and had the potential to turn around and try and kill them whenever they felt like it. He didn’t expect that he’d like the team as much as he did. He especially didn’t expect to like them so much without ever really talking to them.

But watching the camera feeds from throughout the day, seeing what they were up to, they were just... nice people. Soldier out by the dumpsters practicing rocket jumps and wrangling raccoons and apparently trying to learn how to spin a rifle, Pyro’s regular minor explosions in the kitchen while cooking and the surprised and frantic way they cleaned it up every time, the Demoman’s tendency to whistle wherever he went, watching through the feed as they all played cards and argued and jostled each other. They all seemed really nice. Really cool. Really dorky, too, but mostly just really nice and really cool.

And there were a few of them he was less sure about—he couldn’t get eyes on the Medic most of the time, what with the one camera in the Medbay being tilted down at an angle that made it hard to see much of anything but the occasional bird (probably by those same birds). The Heavy tended to just sit and read, and was pretty much silent most of the time otherwise. The Scout tended to leave the base pretty often. And the Sniper didn’t even live on base, he had a van outside that he could only occasionally see movement in when he squinted at the far edge of the camera leading outside. But even then, Heavy and Sniper mostly just seemed quiet, and Medic just seemed busy, and the Scout just seemed like a little bit of a dickhead.

But then one day when Jeremy was at breakfast the Heavy caught him leaning to try to get a look at the cover of the book he was reading, and he blurted that he was just wondering what book was so great that he’d stay up until like four in the morning reading, and then the entire team was gawking at him and asking questions and insisting that it was insane that there was someone actually watching all those cameras, and he shrugged and said there was always supposed to be someone watching the tapes back it was just usually some office worker type a hundred miles away. And they seemed almost... upset with him. And maybe that was fair, it wasn’t like he ever talked to any of them much, mostly he just spent breakfast and dinner half-asleep and listening to their chatter. And Demoman admitted that he’d honestly assumed that Jeremy slept his entire shift, he just always looked so tired at breakfast. There was almost this discomfort. This distrust.

And so, now that the jig was up, he made it a point to say some things to certain members of the team. To tell the Medic that his camera was tilted down so that he couldn’t see most of the room, and to very pointedly say that it was weird how that happened and that he didn’t know why they set it up like that in the first place, but it was really none of his business. Made it a point to warn the Engineer in the morning that the previous night, Soldier had been doing something in the fridge for a while, and to maybe check the labels before he made breakfast. Made it a point to tell the Demoman that the camera in his workshop was right in plain sight, and that if he moved one of his blackboards an inch or two to the left, it would obscure the room a pretty hefty amount. Made it a point to tell the Sniper that the camera on the rooftop seemed to be glitching out, and it’d just sort of lost the tapes of the previous two nights, and that it was really unfortunate since for all he knew there might have been someone ignoring the signs about there being no personnel allowed up there.

In return, he found that Pyro would sometimes make little sparkly notes with smiley faces on them and stick them to the door to the security room. That Sniper started tipping his hat at the camera above the door into the base from the garage. That on occasional drinking nights, the team would suddenly turn and start waving at the camera, laughing the whole way. On one night in particular he could hear through the low-quality and tinny speakers that they were trying to cajole him into leaving the security room for a while to join them for cards, and god, but he wanted to.

And he noticed more things. Soldier walking with a slight limp some days when rocket jumps had rough landings. Being able to count the doves in the infirmary and even tell them apart to some extent through blurry close-ups. The Engineer making it a point to sweep really regularly regardless of what project he was working on.

And then he noticed a weird thing.

It took him a long time to get used to the patterns of hallways, the cameras not really lined up linearly after a while, too many branching paths. He learned to follow progress, to flick from one camera to the next as someone walked around corners. And for a while he thought maybe he wasn’t very good at it.

Until he realized two things. First of all, that in a hallway where he knew there were five doors, he could only see four—apparently the door to Pyro’s room was just barely out of sight of the camera. He only figured it out because one day it swung open wide enough to almost bang against the wall.

And then, when he realized there was somehow that massive blindspot, that there was a corner with a blindspot too. One where that Scout kept disappearing.

He watched a few more times to make sure, and yep. He’d see the Engineer walking around the corner, flick to the next screen, and there he was, continuing down the hallway. And then later that same day, the Scout, walking, and flick to the next camera, and he wasn’t there.

One of the worse parts of the job was that he never got to see Dad anymore, never got to just sort of hang out the way they did all the time when he was growing up, and he knew he would miss it but he didn’t know how much. And he found it was even worse when he had something important to say, doubly so when he had something important to say but no idea if it was actually important.

He tried to bring it up casually, in the like ten minutes of time he ever got alone to talk to Dad. Dad was fighting the kettle trying to make some tea and he was trying to stay awake long enough to figure out how he was going to say this.

“Uh,” he said, and Dad looked at him. “So, uh, what’s the read you’re getting on that Scout guy?”

“Lazy,” Dad shrugged, looked back at the kettle. “Arrogant. He seems to care very little about doing his job correctly and has horrible communication on the field.”

“Right, right,” he nodded, fought a yawn down. “Uh. So like, kind of a dickhead.”

“Indeed,” Dad said, nodding vaguely.

“So uhhh... not the best.”

“Where are you going with this?” Dad asked, arching an eyebrow at him.

“I, I dunno, the guy just likes hanging out in this one blindspot in the cameras, and it’s kinda freaking me out,” Jeremy said, scratching at the back of his neck.

Dad frowned. “Strange. I wasn’t aware that there were any blindspots in the cameras.”

“There’s only a few, and only for pretty small spaces I think? But apparently he just likes hanging out in one of them.” Jeremy scuffed his shoe on the ground, glancing over as voices started echoing down the hall towards them. “Just thought it was weird.”

“I’ll look into it,” Dad muttered, voice quiet, and then raised it again slightly. “I refuse to keep up with sports.”

“C’mon,” Jeremy said, knowing this game well, changing subjects into something more normal as people entered earshot. “I’m not even asking you to keep up with sports, I’m just saying, I’d kill to go to a baseball game right about now.”

“The American Pasttime!” Soldier called from the room over.

“Exactly,” Jeremy agreed, nodding at Soldier as he also entered the kitchen, a half-asleep Demoman in tow.

“Any ghosties or ghoulies on the cameras last night, lad?” Demo had enough energy to ask, blinking blearily at the contents of the fridge.

“Oh, a billion,” Jeremy said.

“Guard!” Soldier barked, the most awake person in the room. “Should these ghost-ghouls appear again, don’t be afraid to point me in their direction! I have significant experience with them already and do not fear the likes of them!”

“Yeah sure,” Jeremy shrugged.

“You’re a champion, Guard,” Demo said with what was either a really disoriented blink or a wink, slugging him on the shoulder and wandering back out into the common room with the entire carton of milk in his other hand. Jeremy gave him a mock-salute that Soldier copied with absolute conviction. He and Dad shared a glance after the two of them left, and Jeremy was the first one to break, snickering under his breath.

“I’ll look into it,” Dad said, and also left the kitchen, and Jeremy nodded and started trying to remember what else he’d been planning on doing before bed.

-

“So,” Dad said a few days later, materializing next to Jeremy when he was in the middle of his jog and making him almost jump out of his skin, skidding to a stop.

“You’re enjoying that new watch way too much,” Jeremy panted, out of breath and still very much startled.

“Maybe,” Dad said, and he was smiling. “But as I was saying.”

“All you said was ‘so’,” Jeremy pointed out, giving him a look.

“There’s a juvenile joke here about how I’m your father and so of course I say ‘so’, but if you wouldn’t mind it, I did have something important to say, mon lapin,” Dad replied, and Jeremy rolled his eyes hard at the horrible joke and cheesy name, fighting back a smile of his own.

“Go for it,” he said, and took the opportunity to bend and tighten his shoelaces.

“So. Regarding that Scout and his habits. You mentioned he spends time in blind spots of the cameras, oui?” Dad asked.

“Yeah. Keeps, uh, I guess he keeps getting infractions for going off base too much, too. I’ve logged him leaving like three times this week already,” Jeremy nodded.

“Indeed. Well, considering how new we are to the team, I did not want to jump to conclusions, and so contacted Miss Pauling and asked on your behalf for any older records, and I found out something very... intriguing.”

Jeremy looked up at him, blinking. ‘Intriguing’, historically, had always been a very, very bad thing.

“Apparently, it has been two years since they last had a Guard situated on base. The previous one was a much older gentleman, retired from being a full member of the team due to health complications but not entirely ready to part with the company. The previous guard was somewhat strict, and the Scout—the same as we have now—very much disliked the man. He continued acquiring near-constant infractions under the man’s watch for leaving when he was not meant to, so much so that the previous Guard proposed enstating trackers on the team when they went off-base. And before this policy could take hold, the previous Guard left the base one day and did not return, and finally was found dead a state over, one month later.”

Jeremy blinked once, twice. “Holy shit,” he said, and took note of the wary look on his face. “Okay. So we’re thinkin’ the same thing, right?”

“I would assume so. And…” Dad hesitated, moved to fidget with his cufflinks. “And I would not be particularly concerned about this, as I’m confident that you wouldn’t have gotten his attention from what you’ve been up to lately, and therefore wouldn’t be in danger yet should history attempt to repeat itself, but… he’s already taken a disliking to you.”

“What?” he asked, eyebrows shooting up.

“I believe it’s something as simple as some sort of shallow jealousy. Another American on the team, also relatively young, filling the position of someone he disliked previously. He regularly complains about the fact that you don’t need to go do the same job as the rest of us.” Dad shrugged, glanced over at him. “That, combined with the fact that you have somewhat conflicting duties, well, he tends to rather tetchy. He claims that considering he’s meant to be the first line of defense, they shouldn’t also need a guard at night.”

Jeremy had a number of opinions about that, but he stuck to the most relevant ones. “I really don’t like this guy,” he said. “Might be, uh. Worth keeping an eye on.”

“Agreed.” Dad glanced back over his shoulder towards the base, then at his watch. “Enjoy the rest of your run. Don’t forget to eat.”

“Yeah yeah yeah, hit the bricks already, old man,” Jeremy scoffed, waving him off, and Dad rolled his eyes, disappearing again in a cloud of smoke. “You’re gonna be using that thing all the damn time now, aren’t you?”

“Oui,” came a voice from nowhere, and Jeremy huffed a laugh, meandering his way back into the rest of his jog.

-

Jeremy hummed along to the radio, flicking between cameras on autopilot and wondering when exactly to take his lunch break.

He didn’t face the clock or anything, so he wasn’t sure, but he thought he had a pretty solid rhythm at that point. Click, click, click, between the camera to the road, the camera to the main entrance, and the camera in the hall towards the middle of the building, for about one second each. At just about any time after 11 or 11:30, those were the only three in real time that he needed to keep an eye on, mostly for people coming back late from bar hopping or if Miss Pauling was rolling in on a delivery. All the other cameras he could see out of the corner of his eye, and any movement he’d pick up on pretty quick, even if it was usually just the doves fluttering on the camera to the Medbay. After he cycled through those (and there was almost never anything there) he’d cycle back through to the tape he had in, put it on high speed, and watch it for about two or three minutes, get through a chunk of that time. Mostly he’d just be making sure nobody had been in the base while the team was away ni o(which indeed there never was), so there wasn’t much of a reason to take it off high speed, and the second part of the night would be watching the tapes for the time the team was back on base.

Movement on a camera made him click the pause, and he glanced off to the side. One of the doves had shuffled to face the other direction. He rolled his eyes, looking back at the bigger monitor again and pressing play.

The second half of the night was a little more interesting. He just had to look at the tapes for the time the team was there, check for discrepancies that might point to Dad messing with the disguise technology off-the-clock or the enemy Spy having infiltrated. For the most part things were straightforward, but he at least got to see his teammates up to funny things sometimes. Pyro’s antics were usually entertaining. Soldier he only caught some of, on the basis of him often walking off out of range of the cameras when he went on his excursions. Demo was funny sometimes. Honestly, just seeing the Sniper anywhere but as a fuzzy distant shape was interesting.

Movement on a camera. Same dove. He ignored it. Click, click, click, all three cameras clear, back to the fast-forward of the same empty hallway as before.

He really needed to figure something out, for the Scout. Maybe he and Dad were just being paranoid. It would be insane for him to try to outright kill anyone who inconvenienced him, not to mention reckless, and stupid to boot. Acting like that in their line of work would make him a lot of enemies extremely quickly. It would make more sense for the old Guard disappearing to be unrelated, to be honest.

Yeah. Hell, he barely knew the guy, and here he was assuming he’d straight up whacked a guy for getting a little too on his case about something. Maybe they were wrong.

Movement on a camera. He glanced over and froze outright.

It took him five seconds to come to his senses enough to pause the playback on his screen.

Figures. Shapes. Not at the front entrance, in the hallway, there next to the back way, by the garage. At least three, moving carefully, hard to make out in the darkness.

Okay. Okay, don’t panic, focus.

Jeremy ran through a few things in his head. He’d already done a headcount, the only people he wasn’t sure about were the Sniper and the Medic, but he hadn’t seen the Medic in any of the hallways out of the infirmary. Three figures were two too many to be any of the team, and besides that, they didn’t look like the Medic. Too short to be the Sniper, moving differently. Different clothes.

Three people. He hopped up, rushed over to the wall, yanked open the panel he had there. Three buttons, which he needed to hit in order. The first would send an alert to Miss Pauling, the second to whoever was assigned to be on alert that night, the third would set off the alarm.

He hit the first, hit the second, and hesitated on the third.

Okay. Technically if he didn’t hit that third button, he’d be breaking protocol, which was, according to the manual, ‘grounds for termination’. He was pretty sure that meant a long swim with some concrete shoes. And it was apparently recorded every time he hit these buttons, so they could deduct from his pay on false alerts. So they’d know if he didn’t hit this third button. He needed to think fast.

This was a different button than the alert button. The alert was more subtle, set for just one person. The alarm was throughout the entire base, over every loudspeaker. Louder than a fire alarm. If he hit this one, these intruders would hear that there was an alarm going off. Anyone smart would book it, high tail it the hell out of there. But he still didn’t know where they came from.

There hadn’t been movement on any of the screens, and he looked at the camera feed facing the road already, a few times even. He should’ve seen them. And if they found their way in once, they could do it again.

If he didn’t hit the button, on the other hand, whoever was on alert would wake up and wonder why they’d gotten an alert but the alarm wasn’t going off. If they were clever, which they probably were if they’d lasted this long, they’d come to the security room to see what was up and they could work from there.

He closed the panel again and moved to wait.

A minute later, still no movement from the hallway where most of the rooms were. That was fine, they’d just woken up, and probably needed to get dressed and grab their guns.

Another minute later, no movement, which was fair, they just needed a second to get their bearings. The intruders, meanwhile, were just lurking, slowly making their way down the hall.

Another minute later, no movement, and he opened the panel to press the button again before he continued waiting. Maybe they didn’t hear him the first time.

Another minute later and he took to standing next to the panel, mashing the button rapidly, eyes on the screen where the intruders were passing the kitchen, starting to get pretty far into the building.

Another minute later and he stomped his way into his sneakers, grabbing his flashlight and gun and guard cap from where they were hung on the wall. “Fine, I’ll fucking do it myself,” he grumbled, and carefully shouldered open the door, taking one last glance at the camera before he shut the door behind himself.

He kept his footsteps quiet, squinting into the darkness, waiting for his eyes to finish adjusting as he crept towards where he’d last seen the figures. It was near-silent in the base at night except for the distant, quiet hum of generators and occasional shift of plumbing. It was getting more and more familiar, and he found himself able to tune it out somewhat, instead listening intently for footsteps besides his own, making sure to click the safety off his gun while he was still alone and not when he was close to whoever had decided to break in.

Okay. Dad did this all the time. He could handle this.

He slowed as he approached the corner near the kitchen, peering around as carefully as he could, tugging down the brim of his cap to try and hide any potential shine from his eyes. He caught sight of a vague shape standing near the doorway, hesitating before it crept inside, into the common area.

Not ideal, on the basis of that being their goddamn kitchen, but at least there would be cover.

By the time he managed to sneak up to the doorway, he could make out the sound of vague whispering. It was far enough that it gave him the boldness to peer into the room, and just slightly lit by the glow of the clock on the oven he could see two shapes there in the kitchen, the third lingering nearer to him, there by the table.

Jeremy was only just starting to make a plan, relieved to have the jump on them, when there was the distant sound of a generator humming to life, and all the figures stopped, paused for a moment.

“Fucking spooky here,” one whispered, barely audible.

“Calm down,” another whispered. “What, scared of ghosts?”

Jeremy inhaled, exhaled, shifted onto the balls of his feet and started creeping a little further into the room. If he could just get all three of them to one side, so he wouldn’t need to pivot so much…

“You don’t know, maybe there’s ghosts here,” the first protested, and swore quietly at what sounded like their winging their elbow against the corner of the tale, and Jeremy tried to stick near the wall, managed to creep half-behind one of the chairs, trying to keep his silhouette indistinct. “These guys kill people.”

“So do we,” the third mumbled, moving out of sight in the kitchen, and Jeremy bit down on a swear, starting to inch behind the couch. “Don’t be a coward. And stop making so much noise.”

“You can’t shoot a ghost,” the first pointed out, moving a bit closer to the kitchen, giving the table a wide berth now. “Or punch it.”

“I can try,” the second said, and stopped at the sound of a rustle.

Jeremy held his breath, weight half-balanced against where he’d tried to step, newspaper trapped beneath his foot.

“That one wasn’t me,” the first whispered. There was another, more significant rustle throughout the room, and Jeremy could see a glint as the intruders drew their weapons.

Jeremy inhaled, exhaled, and just barely managed not to swear out loud.

The first one was the closest by, lingering beside the arm of the couch Jeremy was crouched in the shadow of. “Do they have a cat here?” they asked, voice quiet.

The second was approaching into the main room more carefully. From the sound of the footsteps, trying to keep a shoulder closer to the wall, clearly paying more attention to the door. “Are you stupid or something?” was the reply, voice also quiet.

The third didn’t speak, but huffed out a laugh, which was enough to tell Jeremy that he was out of the kitchen.

Jeremy inhaled shakily, exhaled shakily, shifted his grip on his handgun and flashlight, and took a split second to think. Inhaled one more time.

He leapt to his feet, swinging his flashlight like a billy club and clobbering the first figure across the side of the head, sending them tumbling to the ground. From the sound of the impact, a dislocated jaw at the very least. One down.

A shout from the other side of the room, arms moving to try to aim, clearly struggling to see him, but that third figure was in the doorway, silhouetted against the faint light from the oven’s clock, and that was enough to figure out where the head and chest were. He aimed, fired, got what he was pretty sure was the neck considering the brief spray of blood that splattered against the oven, darkening the room completely.

A swear from the second figure, and Jeremy wanted to swear too, because he’d hoped that second figure would be stupid and try and charge him, but now he was ten steps away and didn’t have time to fiddle with and cock the gun again, other hand full with a flashlight and no way to—

Oh, duh.

“Stay where you are,” the second figure ordered, but Jeremy’s eyes were a little better adjusted and besides that, he wasn’t the one talking. He lifted his flashlight and clicked it on.

The second figure cried out, recoiling at the sudden blindingly bright light in what had been near-darkness, and Jeremy had time to finagle his thumb up to cock his gun again, now able to aim with absolute accuracy, this shot connecting with the figure’s head.

He exhaled.

It took Jeremy two minutes to remember to fire a bullet into the chest of the unconscious guy, and another minute for the other mercenaries to start showing up, half-dressed and armed. Dad, presumably to prove a point, showed up pretty close to the middle of the pack almost fully dressed. Jeremy wasn’t entirely sure how long it took before Miss Pauling showed up, but he wasn’t even halfway through their questions by that time.

“Guard, headcount?” she asked before she even bothered saying hello, still wearing her motorcycle helmet and looking more than a little bit miffed.

“Uh,” he said, eyes drawn away from where Medic was assessing the bodies on the kitchen table, “seven present and accounted for. Sniper’s probably out at his van, don’t know about the Scout.”

“Alright. Pyro,” she said, and Pyro stood at attention, bunny slippers squeaking at the movement. “go wake up Sniper and get him in here.”

Pyro nodded, handing their weird unicorn plushie thing to Jeremy as they passed by, giving him a solemn nod before hurrying away.

“Okay. Guard, hit me with a rundown, then,” she said, and shot a glance around the room. “No peanut gallery needed. And Medic, please don’t take them apart too much. I gotta get rid of those later.”

“Uh. Spotted these guys on the cameras, hit the first and second alerts,” Jeremy said.

“And not the third?” she asked pointedly.

“They were, like, right next to the door, and—here’s the thing, Miss P, is I dunno how the hell they got in here,” he said, and there was a general balk from the room. “No, seriously. They didn’t come in on the main road, they were in one of the back hallways by the garage. There’s gotta be a hole in the cameras or something, because I seriously don’t know where they came from. And if they booked it, they’d take whatever vehicle they used to get here, too, and we might not figure it out. Thought I’d just wait for whoever the hell was supposed to be on alert so we could… I dunno, at least see which way they went.”

“Guard,” she admonished, and he shrank a little bit. “That was incredibly reckless. What if nobody had shown up to help you?”

“Uh,” he said, blinked, “but… nobody did show up.”

A pause. She blinked. “What? You’re the one who did that?” she asked, entirely shocked, pointing towards the three bodies on the table.

“Uh, yeah? Isn’t that my job?” he asked carefully, shifting the stuffed animal under his arm.

“No, you’re—you’re just supposed to be the Guard, you’re supposed to watch cameras, not—“ She paused, taking a second to push up her glasses and rub at the bridge of her nose, inhaling, exhaling. “Okay. Points for… going above and beyond, here, but Guard, don’t do that again.”

“Sure thing, Miss P,” he mumbled, tugging on the brim of his guard cap, and sighed to himself as Miss Pauling moved away to try and stop Medic from attempting to covertly steal a few organs from the corpses. Dad clapped him on the shoulder supportively, and that did make him feel a little better. He wasn’t expecting a clap to the other shoulder, and looked up, surprised to see Heavy there, looking just slightly less grim than usual.

“Little Guard man is credit to team,” he said simply, solemnly.

Jeremy straightened up slightly. “Oh. Hey, thanks,” he said. Heavy nodded at him.

“It’s true,” Demo called, and he looked over, got another approving nod. “Really saved the lot of us, lad.”

“I, I mean, hey, it’s… what I’m here for. Or, uh. I thought that was it, anyways,” he shrugged, glancing away. “I mean, yeah, I’m pretty cool, though.”

Dad bumped his arm for the last part, and he snickered. “My question,” Dad continued, doing his best to ignore him, “is primarily regarding who, precisely, was supposed to be present to help Guard with this. Who is meant to be on alert?”

“It’s meant to be Scout, ain’t it?” the Engineer asked from nearby, frowning. A general murmur of agreement. “Could he have slept through it?”

“Heavy doubts this,” Heavy grumbled, looking troubled.

“Why’re we awake?” asked Sniper from the doorway, and various teammates called out a greeting. Sniper seemed half-gone, and completely grumpy, but not as grumpy as Pyro, and not nearly as gone as the man leaning heavily against Pyro’s shoulder.

“Hey,” the Scout managed, grinning, speech garbled, visibly sloppy and unbalanced. “What’s up, guys?”

Groans from parts of the room. “Drinkin’ again, Scout?” the Engineer drawled, visibly irritated.

“That’s my trademark, lad, go on,” Demo laughed, but the enthusiasm wasn’t entirely there.

“Scout,” Miss Pauling said, voice firm in a way that made Jeremy almost flinch in sympathy. “Are you aware that we’ve had a situation here while you’ve been sleeping?”

“Weren’t sleeping,” Sniper murmured, and eyes turned to him. He scratched at the back of his neck. “Came stumbling in ‘round when I was heading in. He was out for the night. Bar, looks like.”

“What?” Jeremy demanded. “Why the fuck didn’t I see him leave on the cameras?”

“Alright,” Miss Pauling said, and Jeremy looked at her. Her expression was hard to read. “It’s possible he went through the back tunnel.”

“Back tunnel?” Jeremy asked, and glanced around. Apparently he wasn’t the only one who hadn’t heard of it.

“For emergencies only. Scout’s the only one who I’ve given a key card to. I have one too. It’s supposed to be used for transporting especially sensitive information, most of the team isn’t supposed to even know it exists. If there’s a gap in the cameras around the back of the building, he might have been using it to… sneak out to go to town, even though he knows he’s already in hot water for leaving the base so much,” Miss Pauling said, glaring at Scout, who was looking increasingly annoyed.

“Whatever, it’s not a big deal,” he protested, scoffing.

“That tunnel is for emergencies only,” Miss Pauling stressed. “I trusted you with the privilege of knowing about it account of having worked here for so long, and you’re using that privilege and key card to mess around?”

“He was coming back from around the front of the building, at least,” Sniper chimed in, and Pyro nodded. “Not that I’d understand the point of sneaking out if he’s going to just walk back in the front door.”

“Key card?” Medic repeated from near the table, eyebrows furrowed.

“Yeah, it’s, it’s a magnetized card, that can be read by a card reader, used like a key,” Miss Pauling explained, deflating a little bit.

His eyebrows furrowed further. “Would it happen to look anything like this?” he asked, picking up a lanyard from the table and holding it up, showing the room the card clipped onto the end of it.

Two beats of silence. “Spy, would you mind?” Miss Pauling asked politely, nodding towards the Scout, who had gone pale.

“Not at all,” Dad said just as politely, and walked over towards the Scout and Pyro, then circled around behind them, and sank a blade into the Scout’s spine. He promptly crumbled to the floor, dead.

“Well. At least that’s that mystery solved,” Miss Pauling sighed, and rubbed at the bridge of her nose again. “Now I’ve gotta block off time tomorrow to get rid of three bodies, and then hopefully that’s the last we’re gonna hear of this or else the Administrator is gonna kill me.”

“What about the Scout?” Heavy rumbled.

“…Scratch that. Four bodies,” she mumbled, face dropping into her hands. “And then I need to find his replacement. Ugh.”

“Can’t imagine you’d need to go far,” Demo said, and Jeremy looked up, and Demo was very obviously tilting a thumb in his direction.

“He’s proven himself to be better at this job,” Dad agreed, shrugging. “And I would say on a bad day he’s still a better runner than the previous Scout on a good one.”

“He can clearly handle a firearm well,” the Engineer noted, looking over one of the bodies.

“And a blunt object,” Medic chimed, just a bit too pleased. “This jaw is almost completely shattered!”

“Okay, okay, fine, sure,” Miss Pauling waved off, one hand still pressed to her face, clearly overwhelmed and tired. “We’ll get his paperwork in tomorrow. Congratulations, you’re the new Scout, any questions? Can the questions wait until morning? Great, thank you. Good night, everyone. Medic, have the bodies in bags for me at least, okay?”

A distracted thumbs up from Medic, and Miss Pauling was groaning, wandering back out of the room, and most of the team followed, yawning amongst themselves. Sniper half-attempted to ask again why the hell any of them were awake, but gave up halfway through. Pyro, for one, made sure to at least retrieve the plushie from Scout’s arms before wandering off, giving him an appreciative pat on the shoulder.

“So,” Dad said, and when he looked over, he was smiling. “A promotion, mon lapin. Congratulations, new Scout.”

“Do I gotta wear that stupid outfit he always wears?” Jeremy asked, entirely serious. His reply was a laugh and a pat on the shoulder before he disappeared in a puff of smoke. “Pops, I’m serious. Do I? Dad!?”

-

“—So that’s why I figured, y’know, might as well tell you guys,” Jeremy finished rambling, hands in his pockets, continuing down the hallway. “Because… I dunno. I could tell Miss P, but it’s nice having secret stuff, y’know?”

“You think this is how they actually got in?” Demo asked, looking dubious. “Little blind spot in the cameras?”

“Only a couple feet wide, you said?” Sniper grumbled.

“Sounds possible,” Heavy said hesitantly.

“I dunno. Maybe. But if I tell Miss P about it, they’re gonna fix it,” Jeremy shrugged, turning the corner and stopping. “There. I knew it.”

They stopped with him, following his line of sight. “You’re takin’ the piss, mate,” Sniper deadpanned. “You want to tell me he’d been climbing out a window like a teenager?”

Jeremy shrugged, moving to open the window in question. It swung open easily, just large enough to push through with only a little bit of a problem, barely needing to turn his shoulders. “He’s not much bigger than me, and what the hell else would he be doing here?” he pointed out.

“Heavy cannot fit through that window,” Heavy deadpanned.

“Yeah. Sorry, big guy,” Jeremy apologized, leaning back inside and closing it again. “But hey, mystery solved, right?”

“Well, if I ever need windows to climb out of, now I know just the lad for the job,” Demo said, nudging him. “Thanks, Guard. Or, er, Scout. Och, now that’s going to take getting used to, aye? Might just stick to calling you ‘laddie’, laddie.”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever,” he laughed, nudging him right back. And as much as they ribbed him for it, he did see a kind of appreciation there. Just like he’d figured, they seemed to take note of him taking their side and not just Miss Pauling’s.

Now he just needed to switch back over to the day shift.

[peasthedumb]

Ok story time! :D

They’re all big ahh dragons, what can I say.

Dream and Noot are not siblings here cause- im not finding lore for how a skeleton and a literal dragon can be related.

It’s basically like- a post-apocalyptic medieval fantasy world, so there’s like broken castles and awesome landscapes (such as the broken castle in the rock and lava field surrounded by volcanoes from my dream).

The dragon squad basically just wreaked all hell on earth. They were hibernating or smthn, woke up one day, and ended up killing everything.

Nightmare here is just a general guardian of emotions instead of just negativity, though he still favours and takes a more negative form. Basically he still hates positivity n stuff, he just has a more general title. So he has a golden apple and a negative apple (there’s only one of each, and idk where they came from, they just exist ok???).

But hold up: plot point. Dream, a random skeleboi ,finds the golden apple because Nightmare lost ze apples while hibernating. So now dream has all positive powers n stuff and self titles himself guardian of positivity .

So cut to the present time, the dragons woke up, nightmare realises “hey i can’t find my other apple” and queue mass destruction of the world. Eventually they obviously realise dream has ze Apple and honestly he’s the luckiest skeleton in the world with how he’s still alive. even with the apple there’s no way in hell he’s surviving against even one of those dragons. He just keeps on making lucky escapes and doing what he can with his magic to help himself.

So now Dream is having to survive a post-apocalyptic world (it’s mostly lava and fire), and also he has to try hide away from 4 very large, very angry dragons who are always looking for him.

As for the dragons, they’re all deities of some sort. Well, they aren’t actually,but people made myths about them. Exept for nightmare who is a real deity. I haven’t decided what the others are gods of, but they’re all gods of something terrible. All I can think of is horror being a deity of Famine.

They don’t really have any dramatic story of how they met, They pretty much just clustered together because dragons are pretty social and they’re the last ones so they need each other’s company. They all consider Nightmare as their leader cause, ya know, he’s a literal god of darkness and misery. None of them question his authority, and are eager to help him get his golden apple back so he can be as strong as he once was. They may seem dark and edgy but when they’re at rest they all act like a bunch of stupid siblings. Meanwhile Nightmare never stops being silent and edgy.

Horror dragon has a little bit of small person syndrome- aka, he likes to try prove himself. He’s still quite quiet though. More of a “stay silent and focus” type of person. He can breathe fire that comes out as a blood red flame, and he spends a lot of time hunting animals in forests. He likes to catch the food for everyone.

Killer Dragon is really competitive, and has the sharpest claws and teeth of them all. He’s super picky with any food brought back by horror and is much more a preferrer of catching fish. He likes to cause fights, and is a major suck-up to nightmare. He breathes normal orange flames and, as the “middle” dragon, he tries really hard to stick out. He’s the best at tracking and the most focused out of the trio on finding dream. Although he has a bad habit of getting soft spots for any survivors he finds. He keeps them like pets, and hey, uh, some of them live! So that’s uh…yeah

Dust dragon is bossy. If nightmare wasn’t there , he’d be the one in control. He breathes blue fire (the hottest flame of the dragons). He’s…very lazy, but also the most sadistic of the dragons. Have you as a little kid ever picked up an ant and ripped its legs off? Yeah, well he does that with any people he finds. He also sometimes has episodes of forgetting they’re the last dragons and speaks to other dragons that aren’t actually there. The gang thinks he has some unsolved trauma that caused him to do that. Their leading theory is that the dragons he sees are dragons he’s seen killed in the past.

Nightmare is just. Edgy. Bossy. Parental. Miserable. Strict. Don’t get me wrong , he cares for his dragons, he’s just a grouchy guy. He doesn’t even actually care about that damn apple really, it’s more a case of A: the principle of being stolen from by a mortal, and B: he doesn’t like the idea of someone running around with those sorts of powers other than him. He just sorta wants the best for the other dragons. The rest of the world on the other hand? Burn it all to the ground. He doesn’t have fire breath, but he has an aura capable of causing paranoia, hallucinations and madness. Strangely there are a few people who are just….genetically unable to be affected by his Aura. And would you believe, Dream is one of those people! He also finds it amusing that killer does so much to try impress him. He makes extra sure to let him know when he’s done a good job, because clearly it’s important to him.

I DREW THE DRAGONS FROM THE DREAM I HAD THAT IM NOW MAKING AN AU

In order of smallest to largest dragon to largest, it’s :

Horror, Killer, Dust then Nightmare.

Dream is obviously the smallest character (not a dragon)

They’re all absolutely massive, i don’t know if i captured it correctly in the doodle I did for scale, but they’re like- the size of a building

[ambiguousgrass]

ambiguousgrass pinned post wooo yippeee yay

a few things

-My name is grass ambiguousgrass

-pronouns- /it/beep/void/boo/grass/⭐️/🦝/🌱he/she/they

-if I have liked your art and not reblogged, it's in my queue! you'll see it there in a few days!

-I DO ART HERES THE link to art taglist

-i am always following and unfollowing people Im SORRY!! its not personal i just need my dashboard to be Better

more information under the cut if ur interested :3

Art

•this is an art blog! its few and far between but its there!!

•art requests are open!

•all of my art is tagged as grass does art linked here for your convenience ^_^

•If you'd like to be notified when I post a finished piece, interact in any way with the linked post here (rbs appreciated <3)

•you are welcome to use my art in any non-commercial way, as long as proper credit is given. (for example personal icons, print outs, banners, etc. are cool. selling it as stickers or claiming it as your own is not ok.)

•my main mediums are pen&ink, graphite pencil, colored pencils, watercolors, acrylic, clay, cardboard, and digitally i use procreate.

blog contents/fandoms

used to be a dsmp fan but I'm trying to distance myself from that. on account of the everything.

Now its just stuff?? i dont know.

maybe a little TMA here and there? I love the podcast but i have to take breaks from listening to it very often due to the disorders

Every day i get closer and closer to posting about doctor who so enjoy this who free era while it lasts. i might give up and make a side blog one day but who knows. haha. who

edit: I have very much posted about dr who. and also discovered torchwood now. to all the normal people following me my condolences. it is going to get worse

boun der ries

be nice to me

I block and unfollow liberally on account of I meticulously curate my dashboard forfun

- spam likes/rbs/etc are so very welcome! i may seem to be dead for a little while after due to my possum like swag but its ok

-mutuals can ask for my discord if you want but i don't talk much on there.

-feelfree to tag me on stuff. reblog chains. a funny video. art that id like. whatever!! I may not respond but thats just because that stuff gets buried in my notifs and i forgor about them

tagging system

‼️‼️being redone‼️‼️

i realized that tagging things the way i didnt was not working for me so everythings untagged for the time being. I'll redo my tagging system but I'm not going back to fix old posts so this key will stay here along with the updated version. its going to be a while though

grass yells into the void - original posts

grass reblogs - reblogs

the void yells back - asks

grass does art - my own art

​grass queues things - queue

undescribed- posts i create or reblog without image description

fav -posts i like a lot

animals - creatures i like

food - food

c!clingyduo the world - cclingyposting

dr who- dr who

mlp- mlp

tma- tma

(any fandom i post about has a pretty straightforward tag for it in theory)

media types are tagged. (for example #video or #gif.) this is not super consistent, my apologies.

further tagging

as stated above, i tag posts that don't have ID as "undescribed."

the majority of my original posts have image descriptions in their alt texts, which I do myself.

we do not use a screenreader, so I am always willing to hear about ways I can improve the way i post things to make things more accessible.

I occasionally add image descriptions to things i reblog, but I don't do so often.

I have a pretty loose system for tagging potentially upsetting content, but if you ask me to tag a specific thing in a specific way I will do my best to uphold that.

original posts are tagged with as many different trigger tags as I can just to cover all the bases, but rbs are usually just tagged as the thing im warning for [for example- #spiders]

I may reblog posts reguarding political issues, and these will also be tagged as the thing im talking about for filtering purposes.

active sideblogs

@ambiguousseagrass criaturas del mar 🌊 🐠

@ambiguousgrassstims - stimboards nd the like

may be more at somepoitn. shrugs.

thats it bye bye

[yoichichi]

Modern!au Hange Zoë Relationship Headcannons

Hange Zoë x reader

a/n: hi!!! This is my first post for aot on this blog! Plspls tell me your thoughts and if you guys like this :) requests aren’t open quite yet but will he soon, I just need to finish some things up in my drafts first :) you can look at WIP page on my pinned post on my blog to see some other aot works I’m working on atm before I open requests :) pls enjoy !!! I luv them on god

gif not mine, credit to owner

Please tell them to go to bed, they have no self regard for their sleeping habits and WILL stay up for 2 days straight

It does not matter if they’re in bed with you either, they will lay with their back against the headboard and you cuddling into their side while they stroke your face until you fall asleep and then IMMEDIATELY start reading

The amount of times you’ve woken up to them still awake in the middle of the night looking at you like 👁👄👁😃 good morning sunshine~~ just go back to bed ~~ maybe you’re dreaming ~~ , cause they KNOW you’ll scold them and they’d like to avoid that at all costs

PLS they definitely wear one of those stupid little head light things so they can read while you sleep

AND IT JUST ADDS TO THE DISORIENTATION YOU FEEL WHEN YOU WAKE UP ABAJSKWJWNA

* 💡

* 👁👄👁

“good morning sleepy head”

I truly feel like they’re a pro at getting you to fall asleep though, not even so they can stay up they just are so good at soothing you

That one spot in between your shoulders thats always sore? They’re hands find it without you even having to mention

The way you have to cuddle laying on your right side and your left? They’re already adjusting themselves on the couch so that can happen

The way you like kisses on the top of your head but not your temple? Check ✅ they’re fingers are resting at your temple to remind them it’s always the top of your head -as if they’d forget-

Expanding on this, they’re just so good at remembering details about you in general???

And of course some of it is the basics like your favorite snack, your favorite candle, the current show your binging, the laundry detergent you always buy, etc.

But some of it you wouldn’t have even asked them to remember?? Like it gets more and more obscure the longer you’re together

Like how you wouldn’t like the leather seats in their car, which you mention once cause the skin on your legs were sticking to them in the summer

And then they’re in the market looking for a new car and this one doesn’t have leather seats, which to yourself you’re like oh cool :)

But then they just bring it up while you’re driving with them one day like

“Isn’t it nice that now when you wear shorts your legs don’t stick? I tried keeping that in mind for you, babe.”

And it’s just??? You’re almost questioning how they even KNOW that until they tell you about the one ☝🏼 time you mentioned it and it was at least a couple years ago and it’s just??? Thank you?!?

But yes, anything you do Hange WILL remember it for better or for worse cause they just see it as a part of getting to know you and love the person you are!

Okok emperor fidgety over here ‼️

WILL talk with their hands so intensely that they’ve knocked over countless drinks, vases, has even flung their fork once

Queue wide eyes and awkward laughing while they blush a little before they rush for a towel to clean up their mess

But will still continue to ramble while they clean, nothing stops their talking

Carpet cleaner is your best friend

Let’s just say when the two of you decided to move into a new place together, hunting for hardwood floors was a must

But BECAUSE this fools always making a mess and needs to just ~lower the chaos a teensy bit ~ they WILL grab onto your hands while they talk

They’d be getting particularly animated and loud and you’d just let out a giggle and nod your head, letting them know you’re listening and they don’t have to be so loud

And they’d just giggle and shush themselves and be like sorry sorry I know with some big stupid smile on their face

They’d reach their hands out and grab yours and clear their throat and raise their eyebrows a little,

“Ok, so, here’s the best part though. Get. This.”

And they’d just go back to ranting but this time they have so much more energy being focused into you rather than combusting out of them

Their eyes are locked onto yours so hard, no longer darting all over the room while they speak

Their hands moving yours only a little, swinging them up and down, squeezing them when they get particularly excited

Their voice is more hushed and deep, their words shooting sharply at you with an intensity vibrating off them making your cheeks burn

Now, when something would normally result in a flying fork, instead it’s a tug on your hands to bring you closer while their voice gets heavier and quiet - almost a whisper - sharing this moment with you and ending it with raised eyebrows and a squeal - sometimes even shaking your arms about if it’s especially exciting news

Speaking of ranting, when you rant you better expect Hange to get JUST as involved as you

You’re frustrated? Yeah Hange is getting heated too, riling you up in the process, it’s their problem now too

You’re happy? Hange is squealing and jumping up and down with you as if they got the promotion ajakskajaja

I feel like the only exception to this would be if you were stressed, upset, or sad

They’re immediately quiet and looking all over your face for any sign of distress with the most sincere eyes

Nodding and responding with little hums of understanding, ready to scoop you into their arms the moment you need them too

The RULER of taking care of their s/o when they’re down or sick

Not only cause they know everything there is to know about your existence lmao

But cause I think they’re smart enough to be able to not be over bearing when they’re taking care of you

They’ll check in a lot for sure, but never smothering you more than you’d like lmao

Their love language is definitely quality time in my opinion

Do you remember how excited they were when Eren agreed to listen to them talk and they talked literally ALL night?? -I miss them like this pls-

Please just spend time with them while they’re doing research at home or reading, they’ll never feel more loved and appreciated

Ok but like :

It’s late, it’s been dark outside for hours now. Your eyes became heavy hours ago but, you don’t have work tomorrow, and you’d hate leaving Hange in here by themselves, so you decided on cuddling up in the living chair in their office - that they definitely put in there for you - on your phone. You were scrolling mindlessly through apps trying to keep your mind stimulated enough when you heard their chair move from the spot they were in for the first time since you’ve been in their. You looked up to see them crack their neck and stretch their arms above their head, they’re shirt riding up just above their belly button.

They sighed deeply and slowly walked over to you, running their hands down the side of your face and cupping your cheeks to turn your head up to face them.

They leaned down at an agonizingly slow pace and pressed a deep kiss on your lips

“Let’s go to bed now, yeah?”

And while you were laying together drifting off to sleep, they’d just kiss your head one more time and tell you how much they love you

Pls you’d mean the world to them

HANGE IS A SEXY DRIVER HANGE IS A SEXY DRIVER HANGE IS A SEXY DRIVER

Like,,, WHEWWW

This isn’t even a relationship HC LMAO

I mean a little -

They’d LOVE to go on roadtrips with you, you can’t tell me otherwise

A fun stupid adventure to buy shitty souvenirs along the way? Meeting strange people and getting all these new stories together? Hange is at peace like this lmao

But more on them driving 👁👅👁

Definitely drives stick, and they’re a FAST driver

Always a little above the speed limit

So good at changing lanes, especially on the freeway

The way they check over their shoulder?? Lawd almighty

Sometimes they’ll check over their shoulder that’s facing you and flick their eyes to your’s for a moment, cause they can feel you staring at them in that brief moment, and they’ll just raise their eyebrows and shoot you a cocky little side smile

And then after they change lanes they reach a hand over and squeeze your thigh before they keep driving

Ok does have bad road rage though LMAO

Not in a dangerous way they just,, swear very loudly in the car and then roll their eyes and apologize that there’s idiots on the road LMAO

Anyways

All in all, Hange is a very attentive and loud partner, so I hope you’re ok with chaos and intensity

———————

a/n: thanks for reading yall!!! Feel free to check out my blog, more aot content coming soon! And I always love to hear from you guys :)

-🐇out

taglist: @plutowrites