#ok WHEW i'm done with this thing

[all-seeing-ifer]

Audio Drama Recs for Buffyverse Fans

Hey there, dear listeners! Are you a Buffy fan who’s been listening to Slayers and it’s got you interested in learning more about this whole audio drama malarkey? Are you a Buffy fan who’s not been listening to Slayers but are always interested in recommendations for new media to check out? Are you maybe even a Buffy fan who’s already listened to some audio dramas but want some ideas for others to check out? If the answer to any of these questions is yes, then this is the list for you!

The world of audio drama is a weird and wonderful place where niche independent art can flourish. If you look close enough, there’s something there for everyone! It’s my hope that the release of Slayers can help bring this wonderful medium to more people’s attention, so I’ve compiled a list of a bunch of different audio dramas that I think will appeal to Buffy fans, whether that’s because they have a similar genre, similar tone, similar characters, or something else entirely. 

No matter what it is you like about Buffy, I can almost guarantee there’s an audio drama out there where you can also find those same qualities. And the best part? All of the following audio dramas are absolutely free. An important part of the culture that’s emerged around indie audio dramas is that these shows are pretty much always free to listen to - funded instead by ads and patreon support. So you can just hop on to spotify, apple podcasts, pocket casts, or your other platform of choice, and get some beautiful narratives written by (and I do sincerely believe this) some of the most talented and visionary creative voices of the past couple decades beamed directly into your ears for the low low price of nothing at all. You literally have nothing to lose except time!

So without further ado, on to the recommendations:

Wolf 359 

Listen if you like: Episodic/monster-of-the-week storytelling with an overarching plot, a tone that mixes comedy and drama, pastiches of popular genres (with heart), anti-authoritarian themes, stories about bands of deeply flawed misfits with interpersonal issues

Plot summary: Life's not easy for Doug Eiffel, the communications officer for the U.S.S. Hephaestus Research Station, currently on Day 448 of its orbit around red dwarf star Wolf 359. The Hephaestus is an odd place, and life in extremely isolated, zero gravity conditions has a way of doing funny things to people's minds. Even the simplest of tasks can turn into a gargantuan struggle, and the most ordinary-seeming things have a way of turning into anything but that.

Status: Finished

Episode count: 61 + minisodes and specials

Average episode length: 20-40 minutes

Why you should listen: I’m gonna say something that may be mildly controversial and say that Wolf 359 comes closer to capturing the Buffyverse’s tone and spirit than just about any other piece of media. A child of that mostly unfortunate period of time when every nerd creator on the planet wanted to imitate Joss Whedon’s style and it really does show (not least in the multiple direct references to Buffy the show makes). But while basically every other product of this writing style (including Whedon’s own later work) fell flat on its face into insincerity, Wolf, in a truly cosmically unlikely moment of lightning actually striking twice, just fucking nails it. It’s at once an ironic pastiche of science fiction serials from the golden age of radio while also being a serious and dramatic science fiction serial in its own right, and strikes the perfect balance between the two. While it starts out as more of a workplace comedy set in space, as the show goes on and the characters learn more about the company that sent them on their mission, the tone becomes increasingly serious and dramatic, without ever feeling like too much tonal whiplash. When it’s funny, it’s really funny, and when it’s serious and emotional, it hits depths of devastation few other shows can. While it may be science fiction and not fantasy, it shares the Buffyverse’s anti-authoritarian themes, as well as those shows’ large casts of flawed characters whose problems come just as much from interpersonal drama as from the speculative fiction elements of the story. If you ask me, it’s one of the greatest stories the 2010s ever gave us. But don’t just take my word for it, go check it out for yourself! Go meet Doug Eiffel, Renee Minkowski, Dr Alexander Hilbert, Hera, and a bunch more characters I can’t talk about without getting into spoilers. You can thank me later.

Ars Paradoxica

Listen if you like: A tone that mixes comedy and drama, anti-authoritarian themes, female-led shows, stories about bands of deeply flawed misfits with interpersonal issues

Plot summary: When an experiment in a time much like our own goes horribly awry, Dr. Sally Grissom finds herself stranded in the past and entrenched in the activities of a clandestine branch of the US government. Grissom and her team quickly learn that there's no safety net when toying with the fundamental logic of the universe.

Status: Finished

Episode count: 36 + specials

Average episode length: 20-40 minutes

Why you should listen: Ok, let’s say Wolf 359 appeals to you, but you’d prefer your semi-ironic semi-serious speculative fiction dramedy show with anti-authoritarian themes to have a female lead. I mean I’d still recommend listening to Wolf because while Eiffel may be the protagonist you still get to meet Renee Minkowski and Hera and [OTHER CHARACTERS REDACTED], but you could also try out Ars Paradoxica! Another child of the Whedon-influenced era that produced Wolf 359 with a similarly Whedon-influenced tone, I think Ars is a lot messier, tone-wise, but it’s worth working through that. While it starts off quite goofy and irreverent, as the show goes on it really matures and grows into itself and becomes something very special. It becomes the rare time travel story that actually engages in a meaningful way with the political dimension of the time period its characters’ travel to. It’s about the paranoia of the final days of WWII and beginning of the Cold War, it’s about the bigotries that shaped mid-20th-century society, it’s about war and scientific ethics and the desire for progress and what we’re willing to sacrifice for that progress. But despite its often dark themes, it’s also not as heavy as I’m making it sound, with all of its lofty ideas and high concept science fiction being anchored by a cast of highly flawed yet endearing characters, including the inimitable Dr Sally Grissom herself. Compared to other 2010s audio dramas, it’s fallen into obscurity into recent years, and I think it’s about time we bring it back into the light!

The Silt Verses 

Listen if you like: Horror/fantasy, episodic/monster of the week storytelling with an overarching plot, anti-authoritarian themes, female-led shows

Plot summary: Carpenter and Faulkner, two worshippers of an outlawed god, travel up the length of their deity’s great black river, searching for holy revelations. As their pilgrimage lengthens and the river’s mysteries deepen, the two acolytes find themselves under threat from a police manhunt, but also come into conflict with the weirder gods that have flourished in these forgotten rural territories.

Status: Ongoing (on its final season)

Episode count: 33+

Average episode length: 40-60 minutes

Why you should listen: It’s my favourite audio drama, hands down. More than that, it’s one of my favourite pieces of art, ever. Do you have even a passing interest in horror as a genre? If you’re a Buffyverse fan, then I assume the answer is ‘yes’. In which case, you should listen to TSV. Of all the horror podcasts I’ve listened to, I think TSV is far and away the most genuinely terrifying (I’d definitely recommend checking out the content warnings before listening) as well as having the most unique, well-thought-out, and generally interesting horror concepts and worldbuilding. It also plays with classic horror tropes in a way that feels vaguely reminiscent of BtVS at times, but its tone and atmosphere and writing style is all entirely its own. Despite this far darker tone and approach to horror, it also shares many of the Buffyverse’s themes. It’s a story about broken systems: living in them, dying in them, striking back against them, trying to fix them, burning them to the ground, all explored through a horror/fantasy lens. If you like how the Buffyverse explores its anti-authoritarian themes, you will probably also enjoy TSV’s approach. If you love the various complex fucked up little guys that make up the casts of the Buffyverse shows, then you’ll probably also love the various complex fucked up little guys that make up the cast of TSV, especially Sister Carpenter, the female lead of the show as well as one of the few characters in existence whose greatness rivals Buffy herself in my mind. And if you love the Buffyverse’s outlandish and often formally-inventive monster-of-the-week style episodes, then TSV’s own experimentations and propensity for bizarre fantasy concepts will likely also appeal to you. Really there’s very little else I can say without you experiencing the show for yourself. Do you like good things? Do you like things that are good? Go listen to TSV. Again, you can thank me later.

The Magnus Archives

Listen if you like: Horror/fantasy, episodic/monster of the week storytelling with an overarching plot, anti-authoritarian themes, stories about bands of deeply flawed misfits with interpersonal issues, fighting the apocalypse

Plot summary: A weekly horror fiction podcast examining what lurks in the archives of the Magnus Institute, an organisation dedicated to researching the esoteric and the weird. Join Jonathan Sims as he explores the archive, but be warned, as he looks into its depths something starts to look back… 

Status: Finished

Episode count: 200

Average episode length: 30 minutes

Why you should listen: One of the more well-known audio drama podcasts, and definitely the most well-known of the recent audio dramas! A lot darker, more depressing, and heavier on the horror than the Buffyverse shows, but there’s still a lot that Buffyverse fans will enjoy, from the anti-authoritarian themes to the multiple apocalypses the characters face. While TMA starts off as an anthology series, with each episode being a self-contained horror story, as the show goes on recurring characters start to appear and an overarching storyline begins to emerge. The later seasons of the show really display a similar ethos to the Buffyverse shows when it comes to taking their characters to very dark places, and the way that the show plays with horror tropes will likely also appeal to Buffy fans! Prepare yourself for some truly creepy storytelling and truly heartbreaking emotional moments and give it a listen.

Janus Descending 

Listen if you like: Horror, female-led shows

Status: Finished (sequel series ongoing)

Episode count: 13

Average episode length: 15-20 minutes

Plot summary: This limited series, science fiction/horror audio drama podcast follows the arrival of two xenoarcheologists on a small world orbiting a binary star. But what starts off as an expedition to survey the planet and the remains of a lost alien civilization, turns into a monstrous game of cat and mouse, as the two scientists are left to face the creatures that killed the planet in the first place.

Why you should listen: While it’s probably the least similar to the Buffyverse shows of any of my recommendations, I think Janus is still worth looking into simply because it’s a really great “starter podcast” for those who’ve never got into audio dramas before. It’s a limited series of just 13 episodes, each episode is only around 15-20 minutes long, and it uses the audio format in a really unique and interesting way. While it does now have a sequel series called Descendants, the original show works very well as a standalone narrative. The horror and tension and tragedy of the story is really well done, and despite how relatively short it is you still get to feel very close to the two protagonists. Another really underappreciated show that deserves more love.

Old Gods of Appalachia 

Listen if you like: Horror/fantasy, female-led shows, anti-authoritarian themes

Plot summary: A horror-anthology podcast set in the shadows of an Alternate Appalachia, a place where digging too deep into the mines was just the first mistake.

Status: Ongoing

Episode count: 54+ (not including specials)

Average episode length: 30-40 minutes

Why you should listen: Another dark and gorgeously atmospheric horror podcast (you may be starting to sense a theme here), this one based around an alternate history version of Appalachia where eldritch gods and monsters inhabit the mountains and hills. Much like TMA, Old Gods is primarily an anthology series, consisting of a wide variety of different horror stories set in the same world. These stories range from one-off episodes to season-long arcs, and cover a broad spectrum of horror sub-genres. While I do find it a little hard at times to follow all the different connections between the different stories and arcs, I think it’s still absolutely worth listening to for its tone, storytelling, social commentary (plenty of “fuck capitalism” stories here), and well-written and complex female characters. Definitely a must-listen for all the horror/fantasy fans out there (and I know for a fact that’s a lot of you).

Hi Nay 

Listen if you like: Horror/fantasy, female-led shows, stories about bands of deeply flawed misfits with interpersonal issues, episodic/monster of the week storytelling with an overarching plot

Status: Ongoing

Episode count: 32+

Average episode length: 30-60 minutes (not including specials and minisodes)

Plot summary: A supernatural horror fictional podcast about Filipina immigrant Mari Datuin, whose babaylan (shaman) family background accidentally gets her involved in stopping dangerous supernatural events in Toronto. 

Why you should listen: A very fun urban fantasy monster-of-the-week style show that pulls from both classic horror tropes and Filipino folklore. While I haven’t listened to much of this one yet, it’s a really engaging and often emotional listen with a very fun framing device that uses the audio medium in a clever way!

Of course, this is only a small fraction of the wealth of audio drama podcasts out there. I'm only one guy and I can't listen to all of them! If any of you have any recommendations for other audio dramas you think Buffy fans will enjoy, feel free to add them on! And if you're interested and have any questions feel free to send me a message - I always love talkin' audio dramas!

[toxicanonymity]

Can I request a fic where Reader’s parents were recently killed and she has to look after her younger siblings. She needs to find a way to earn money so she is forced to become a prostitute/sex worker. Only thing is she is a virgin. And guess who takes her virginity as part of the job? (Joel!). Not sure how you can make it dark, but that’s up to you!

virgin sex worker

<1k words | joel x f!reader | masterlist

18+ virginity loss, unsafe PIV sex, bj, Joel talks you through the whole thing. Post-outbreak.

"Call me Joel," the john says.

"It's my first time," you tell him.

"No different from doin' it with a boyfriend," he reassures you as he unzips his pants.

"No, I've never. . . It's my first time, ever."

He looks stunned but not put off. "Why ya doin' this?"

"It's really none of your business, I'm not gonna justify myself to you."

"Why me then? Lotta men would pay top dollar for a virgin."

"You're a regular, right? The other girls said you'd be good for my first time. Nice and gentle?"

"Whew, that ain't me, baby," he laughs. "Must be their sick idea of hazing the new girl. . . Must want me to break ya in reeeal good."

Your face goes cold and your eyes prickle with tears.

"Don't worry baby, I can try my best . . . c’mere, let’s see what we’re workin’ with.” He pats the bed. “Bend over for me.” He takes off his jeans.

You bend over with your ass in the air. He lifts up your skirt and pulls down your panties. "Mmm now that's a nice lookin' pussy."

He strokes it but you aren’t wet. He puts his hands on your waist then asks “ok if I move ya'round and shit?”

“Um, yeah,” you answer.

He somewhat roughly throws you on your back. “Was that okay?” he asks.

“Yeah,” you nod.

“I’m gonna make it so it feels better for ya, k?” He takes your panties all the way off then puts his head between your legs. His tongue on your clit turns you on right away. He kisses, licks, and sucks at your pussy, always returning to your clit. You moan in pleasure, then he sticks a finger in.

“Good girl, now we’re in business.” He slowly pumps that one finger as he keeps pleasuring you with his mouth. Then he sticks another finger in. He grunts in satisfaction as he pulls his mouth away, and looks up at you from between your thighs. “Nobody ever been in here?”

“No, only toys.”

His eyebrows shoot up, “Well good, that means you prolly won’t bleed too much.

He slowly pumps his fingers in and out of you, then curls them. It’s quite a stretch, but still pleasant. After awhile, Joel sits up and gives you a little smile, thumbing your clit one last time as his fingers slide out.

“Alright, we’re warmed up, ready to go,” Joel says while palming himself over his boxers. “You wanna give it a kiss first, get to know it?”

You sit up, then bend over again so your head is at dick-level with him standing next to the old, dirty bed. His hard cock intimidates you but also sends a pang of arousal between your legs. You wrap your hand around it and he sighs. You put your lips around the head and he says “Yeah, attagirl.” When you begin to suck, he gives a low whistle. “Damn, you suck a good cock.”

You’ve done your research.

“Alright now.” You take your head off his cock and wait for his instructions. He sits on the bed with his back against the headboard. “How bout ya just come on up here.” He pats his lap. “Take it how you want it, and I’ll try not to interfere.”

You slowly straddle him and hover over his cock. He holds it for you in one hand and watches you hungrily. He fingers you again with his free hand, then urges you closer, pulling you by your ass. He aligns his tip at your entrance, then you slowly sink onto it. In a way, it feels amazing, but It’s a major stretch and also hurts. You wince. He breathes heavily, trying to control himself.

“Ok if I help?” he asks and you nod. His hands come to your hips and gently press down. You gasp and your face screws up.

“Sometimes ya gotta rip the bandaid off. want me to do that for ya, baby?”

You’re nervous but you don’t think you can go any further without more help.

“Yeah,” you nod.

“Attagirl,” he says. His large hands pull you down hard on his cock and he grunts loudly. You gasp at the intrusion. It feels like he’s inhabiting most of your body. He thrusts up into you and you gasp again. It hurts, but not in a very bad way.

Then, he sits more upright and puts you on your back. He pulls out most of the way, then slams his cock into you and you both grunt as the force pushes you down the bed. He begins to really fuck you. “Tell me if it hurts,” he says and you nod. His face darkens, then he pounds into you repeatedly. It hurts, but not bad enough to say it. The feeling of being filled by him outweighs the pain.

After a few minutes, he says he’s about to come. “Wanna see how it tastes?”

“Yeah,” you say as he pulls out. He straddles you and walks on his knees up to your armpits, leans forward, and you lift your neck to accept him into your mouth. Then he groans and pulses into your mouth.

It's salty and a little tart.

"Good girl," Joel whispers as you take the last of his load. He gets dressed while you freshen up. He's sitting on the bed in his jeans when you come out.

"You're still here?" You ask.

"Yeah, you good?"

You nod.

"Can I give ya'a hug?"

You hug goodbye and the taste lingers in your mouth all day.

-

------

This was a quick one from the ask cellar. Ty for reading!

-

[captain-hawks]

i hope ur sitting down dee bc i have Many things to say so i will put them all in here lest i clog ur inbox heheh

u already know my thoughts on ur very convincing mattsun agenda but may i also add: sunarin and osamu bc 🙏🙏 WHEW i liked them a normal amount already but something about the way u write them.. it unlocks a deep deep brain of my monkey brain i fear.. dhsjds

on the back of osamu - i literally had to take a moment to sit down after that akaashi/osamu snippet ohhhhmygod u have no idea. for better or for worse omegaverse has the key to the other deep deep part of my monkey brain (つω⊂* )

on the back of sharing snippets - tysm for the tag omg i'm flattered ! i'm a one-and-done writer tho i fear, any wip aside from the one i'm currently working on is nothing but a quick idea with mayyybe some dialogue if we're lucky HDJKS hence i have very little variety to share rn.. but !! your. your little mattsun one. can i. can i ask after your little mattsun one (ʃƪ¬‿¬) pretty please..

ok broadcast over 🫶🫶 i hope your weekend is being good to you !!

hey ada do you mind if i go and cry for a sec okay thanks brb 🥹🥹🥹🥹!!! you are so sweet and i hope you're having a wonderful start to your week. i'm sending you many many virtual hugs.

i feel old farmer sitting in my rocking chair on my front porch carving another notch into a stick each time someone else falls victim to my mattsun agenda 😂. i'm honoured to have drug you over into the feral zone for osamu and suna, too<3

heHEEEEE oh i'm so glad you're on board for the osamu/akaashi snippet. this is my first time writing omegaverse myself, so i'm having A Time playing fast and loose with rules LOL. but i'm so excited to play around with this feral/emotional dynamic between the three of them!!

and here's a snippet of the mattsun wip! (i started writing this before the dry humping extravaganza in is it casual now?, so i guess i'm just going to have a dry humping mattsun universe oops)

[smilingangel582]

BOO! Hahaha got youuu!! Anyway I'm here to request a fic of ler!furina and lee!lyney, I think she would 100% tickle the info out of him during the trial hehehe-

Ahhhhh! Whew, it's you... hehe, wow, I never tried this before... OK, I'll write one. Just need some time to study Furina's character. Hehe~ alright your heads up is enough...

Enjoy~

Oh, spoilers for Lyney's story quest and the archon quest

The law has no secrets

Fontaine is all about laws where you break a rule you get judgement. This time for Lyney, the magician, things seemed too out of nature for Lady Furina to call out the Gards to restrain him from the prison cells.

He sighed, already assuring a worried Lynette and a shocked Freminet to eat dinner without him.

At least they had the decency to give him something to eat. Still, the exaggeration is when he was afterwards chained completely. With the manacles attached to his wrists, the line of metal was rooted from the ceiling to hold him up, but he was on his knees.

Is the trial room a cell? He must be either lucky or unlucky...?

Well, Lyney wouldn't say he's not anxious to the current setting, but he'd rather have talked things through since the disappearance case is solved by the traveller.

The echoing sound of the metal door squeaked open. Lyney looked up now, hearing the jangling of his own chains. They were Furina's light tapping footsteps. Next to her is Neuvillette.

Wait?! He's on this farce too??

"Lyney, I must apologise for this rough display, but... might I have a word with you?" Furina's dainty tone purred mischievously, making Lyney shudder as he tried to avoid sounding outrageous."Why, if you wanted to talk, we could've done that by settling an appointment? This is too hurtful"

Neuvillette sounded exhausted. "Lady Furina, this is the same question I was asking you, Mr. Lyney is not guilty..."

Furina folded her arms with a smile "Oh this has nothing to do with the disappearances case. This is regarding the trivial incident of the phantom weasel..."

Dear archons, he should've know -oh, wait, she is the archon.

Lyney noticed that even Neuvillette was seeing her ways of thinking for once. Unfortunately for Lyney, though, he did strike the nail.

"You make a point, Jemma's admittance to being the troublemaker is strange since it's relevant to Mr. Lyney's magic show... even the steambird couldn't get an interview out of him"

They eyed Lyney now, suspicious looming over his instantly, well he did try his best to hide it..."

"What are you hiding Lyney?" Furina teased now, as she has finally got a lead in something since the traveler's entrance "I know the case is solved but... we need to know your part in this play"

"I must concede I was responsible for her sudden confession, but..." he bit his lip, trying to sound convincing "The trick Ceaser tried must have opened her heart, so she must have...".

"We know all that... the question is..." she leaned forward, close to his face "Why use the particular trick Ceaser use on the lady? Your not the heartless type to use that trick on her to hurt her more... but you knew it would hurt her, cuz you knew she's the weasel!"

Neuvillette leaned on his hand as he pondered "It's almost strange how you were involved with Lorenzo, the gards told us your good deed"

"W-wait... I swear, it's all just coincidence... I made a mistake remember, I thought Lorenzo was the culprit-!"

Furina laughed now, interrupting him "Aha, so cute when your trying hard to defend when you have used up all your cards, Lyney,"

She pointed our "I know you have a close relationship with Ceaser... so what's your connection to it"

He could tell, but he didn't want to show most of his past to her if all people. The traveler is one thing but the chief of justice is present too.

"Lady Furina," he sighed, suddenly a reasonable part of him was seen "I understand your suspicions but the case is solved, thanks to Mr. Lyney"

He sighed in relief, but Furina hummed. "Is it? I was about to ask who th3 copycat was before..."

He widened his eyes. Right... the notes. He should've known those could be triggering most of suspicions.

"Wait, I'm not the copycat"

She suddenly glanced triumphantly. "I didn't say you were, dear Lyney, now I see a crack in those defences... hahaha better tell us why you'd help to solve a case of ten years ago"

Neuvillette pursed his lips "Lady Furina, could it also be you want revenge on Mr. Lyney?"

She swallowed, flustered "O-of course that's... um not m-my only reason"

Lyney implored, "I swear... It's all a big councidence" he didn't even want to think of her ulterior motives but his mind knew it before he ever did thar she was still vengeful of the traveler's incident when he saved Aether.

Neuvillette rubbed his temple in irritation. "Rememeber interrogation is not to be used as a frivolous method, I'd rather not see you hurt Mr Lyney for your frivolous actions."

"Why," she sounded confident as she slipped behind him. "I'm not here to use that torture method! Please, there are more ways that can break even the most strongest opponenets"

Before anyone could question her she grabbed his sides, startling him by the new sensation "Let the trial commence"

"AhaAHhA! Wait whahat?" He suddenly jolted at the electrifying touch, and even Furina giggled."Well, I guess my intuition is right as water, Mr. Lyney would enjoy this torture"

"Lady, that's the abuse of power" the chief of Justice pointed out sharply but he had no way of stopping her.

"Alright, let's hear it. How were you involved in the phantom weasels case?" Furina snickered as she got a good reaction from his ribs, making him pull at the chains that exposed him most terrifyingly.

"Whyhyhy? Whyhyhy thihihis Lahahady Fuhuhurina???"

"Why? Well because I don't want to hurt you and the other is... I wanna see a great magician such as yourself be a bit more vulnerable"

That's why??? He was torn with exasperation and concern if he was safe in Fontaine.

"This is for pulling that trick on me with the traveler" she teased by tickling his bare armpits. He lost it there and lowered his head with sudden cackles "HOHOLD OHOHON... IHIHI WAHAHAS TRYING TOHO PROHOTEHECT THE TRAHAVELER! HEHE'S UHUHUNAWARE OF OUR RUHUHULES!!

"Protect is a very strong word, Lyney" she smirked, stopping for a moment "ok new questions what's your relationship with the traveler?"

Not that question! He'd rather expose himself than answer thar!

His silence made her circle his sides teasingly, he giggles "Cuhut ihihit out hehe's ahaha nihihice guy!

"Nice guy?" She hummed, then making his squeal by grabbing his hips "Dare you lie to you archon! That's punishment for you!"

Neuvillette wondered if he should do something. Sure he would be lying if he'd say he didn't enjoy this side of Lyney and the mischief in Furina. This is not even work related so he'd rather leave them be.

"Nohohoho don't leheheheave meheheeee!"

"Ah, you're boring," she huffed now but then ignored him completely by trying to attack the new sensitive spot on his hips. "Lyney~... I got a lot of questions, so... try to answer at least one of them..." she continued."What's your relationship with the traveller? Then how did you know it was Jemma the real phantom weasel? Then why did you hide most of the details of the phantom weasels case...?"

Unanswerable! He can't tell any of that. No matter how bad of a pickle he's in.

"Man, your no fun..." she grabbed his thighs now making him gasp "hmmm~ what's that?"

He blushed with the sudden suffocation of holding his laughter but it left him when she knew his thighs are bad, "G-guh! Wait!".

"Jackpot... so tell me?"

"AHAHAHAHA WAHAHAHAIT IHIHIHIHI IHIHIHIHI" He gotta say one thing! He should! He can't expose the secrets of his family but rather...

"IHIHIHI LOHOVE AETHER! OHOHOK JUHUHUST STAHAHAHAP IHIHIT!"

She backed off, feeling more victorious to hear him defeated "Ah~ that's your secret? I thought it was something else but that's the truth I can tell... took you a lot of guts to say all that"

He blushed now, panting "Ahare wehe done?"

She grinned brightly and snapped her fingers "Yes!" The the chains dropped in him. He sighed, feeling tired for his own good. At least he can ge those before bedtime.

Of course the guards escorted him out and even Neuvillette apologised for the sudden trial run, he did show no offence to him. Knowing he's powerless over the archon but he did doubt if he's actually guilty.

"Lyney! Are you OK?" Aether's voice, he blinked when he noticed Freminet, Lynette and Paimon with him as well. He watched the concerned look on those lovely golden eyes, he looked away with a blush "Y-yeah, I was just under suspicion"

"Did they do anything to you?" He grabbed his face now trying to scrutinze any injuries, he blushed heavily "I-I am fine... p-please let's have some tea together"

"You're blushing? Are you sick?"

Lynettw sighed. "Brother, you can't fool me, so what did they do?"

He pleaded now forcing himself into the house as they followed "Please don't make me talk about it... its embarrassing"

"For some reason, Paimon wants to know," she chuckled, and even Aether gave a smile. Sure, he did tell he was tickled at trial but editted end where he admitted his feelings. Instead, he said she got bored and left.

Nobody knew that except Lynette who knew he must've told the relationship of him and Aether...

Hope this is alright... and not too long ...I'm really sluggish today but I had the perfect idea to write and I remembered your idea beign trial so I kinda mixed things... hopes it ok

[mysticaldetectivesoul]

Sotheby's Anecdote - keyboard smashing and personal comments under the cut (also obligatory spoilers under the cut)

Dundihbojdnijdnudhdjnndojsjsjsn )3₱)2);2#)₱;)₱₱7;₱);₱9)₱8₱)₱8);

whew. Oh hell–

urndnndndnunndiudndidn nnduhnduidnnid bdhnndydnhudbjd jdb#(/₱(;₱(/₱(₱/)₱/

ok, that's done.

I will probably edit this to add more once it fully simmers, but holy shit, lemme come on here to say that I am so glad they didn't fumble cristallo's illness. That's really what's on the top of my mind right now.

As fun and light-hearted as the first chapters were, my stomach dropped when it became clear that they were going for "creating a magic potion that will whoosh away a progressive, congenital illness in an instant". BUT. I am so glad that after everything was done and dusted, the last chapter explicitly said that the potion Sotheby made won't cure her for good but that it will offer some comfort instead.

As far physical disabilities go, I am NOT the best authority or spokesperson, so my voice shouldn't count so much. This is just my thought void. My sentiments mostly relate back to some gachas I've previously played, where the story took the lazy route of magicking the sickness away from the character in a one snap, instead of taking the time to explore their lives as disabled people. It feels disingenuous when that happens, and it's often so detached from reality because many disabilities are permanent. In that one aspect, at least, the anecdote jumped over that trap.

2- I'm not gonna lie, Sotheby's naivety made me shake my head so many times throughout the the story. But I love her character from the get-go and figured that I at least wanted to get to know more, so I kept playing, and whoaly fuck, there was a moment that made me gasp - when she started burning things down and oh... that made me laugh silly because of how unexpected that was HAHAHAHA. My mind is still confused about some things about her past. It was written so vaguely. The dream sequence and the memories she forgot or were kept in the dark from? Is it a consequence of the "storm", the survivor's hazy memory of what's passed, or something else... because it seemed implied that she went through an accident the others at the manor didn't tell her. I wonder if I missed details. Hmm.

3- Cristallo!!! She shines here. As well as Eagle, the twins. We love plant children in this household!

4- "Loneliness" is central to Sotheby's character, and I love the points of perspective between her and Cristallo, who are two, equally sheltered kids, who were othered despite/because of good intentions. I really want a Cristallo anecdote now hngg. Apart from being sheltered, the loneliness of Sotheby also comes out in her loss and longing for Mr. Karson. I found it interesting that they chose to explore loneliness with a character like Sotheby, but it surprisingly made sense.

5- That flashback convo with Mr. Karson about death is so damn ironic knowing what happened. They just had to twist a few knives in me, oh, what's new?

6- Sotheby curiously has a lot of ties to mythological gods and deities like the brand of her shoes and jewelries. There's Typhon her doll, which seems to come from a show, and his enemy Jupiter. There's also a mention of Heimdall this time, which was vaguely familiar to me, enough that I knew it wasn't greek/roman myth like the aforementioned gods. It wasn't lost on me how Sotheby went through a specific brand hero's journey, where she slowly shed her naivety through experiencing the outside world and its horror. It has some elements that's faintly reminiscent of some mythos, but I need to rack my brains harder for which exact story it echoed in me. Hmm.

7- I'm very satisfied with the story. Even the small things like the rules on etiquette and the background world building of the sussy town with a history of killing and kidnapping rich aristocrats for ransom, comes back full circle to contrast and add to sotheby's growth. Reverse has some tight storytelling sometimes... They're good at breathing life into the characters, beyond the bit of selling these charas to us players. I really feel refreshed by it.

[twochildreninamoteldemo]

Hi Maven!! Same q to everyone this week: what are your top 3 wincest episodes, and why?

ok im gonna cheat and do this in 2 ways hehe

a) top 3 sam/dean episodes

3. A Very Supernatural Christmas: has the samulet (their engagement ring, obviously!), you can palpably feel the isolation, the neglect, it's very two-children-in-a-motel-esque. and of course, the final scene, where i think, if there was any point in the series aside from the barn scene in which they would have said "i love you," it would have been there. the deep long stare, the watery eyes, the fact that they both know dean will be gone within the year, and then... "do you feel like watching the game?" ahhhhhhh drives me nuts

2. Swan Song: their love literally!!!!! saves the world, i mean come on. it has the whole wincest montage that you could literally set a richard siken poem to, or a taylor swift song to (look i know those are vastly different things but. bear with me), and it would just feel right. dean finally lets sam do things on his own. he lives because sam tells him to. sam manages to revoke his possession consent because of how much he's in love with dean, even as his fist is smashing dean's face into a pulp. ok i have to stop or i'm going to start crying in this goddamn airport.

Playthings: obviously. gothic horror episode of all time. picture-perfect family in the outside, secret sibling hidden upstairs. the way sam and dean's codependency is paired with that of the grandmother and her ghostly sister. the face-stroking. the almost kiss. god i swear it always looks like they're gonna kiss. sam writhing on the bed. dean staring at him like that. the subtext was about to bust through the screen, what with the acting and the way the plot and the meta-plot fit together perfectly. catherine tosenberger said it much better than i can, go read her article in TWC about wincest if you haven't!

b) top 3 family-horror-what-the-incestuous-freudian-fuck-is-going-on-here episodes

2. Devil's Trap: azazel uses john's body in a sexual manner against both sam and dean--primarily the latter but sam gets it, too. it's a chilling scene and really cements that this is what spn is about: never being able to escape the family. sam learns partly of azazel's plot, dean gets his daddy issues flayed onto him, and all through the eyes of the father. it's so well done.

3. Skin: imo the most damning thing the shifter says is, "i will be sorry to lose this skin. your brother's got a lot of great qualities. you should appreciate him more than you do." uh...what? the way he ties up sam and plans on torturing him also aligns with the shifter's pattern of turning into the husband and beating up the wife. another HMM moment actually comes from dean himself, when he tells sam that none of his friends will ever understand him and that dean's the only one who can...it's very isolating, kind of abuser tactics, and just. whew. this was episode SIX!!

In the Beginning: come on you knew i was gonna say this. aside from the obvious moments of "mom is a babe" (and remember, dean invokes sam into this moment as well..."sammy, wherever you are..."), samuel!azazel leaning over dean and smelling him, and samuel!azazel kissing mary--passionately returned(?), may i add, the plot itself sets up the winchester family as this enclosed, inbred unit. mary's kiss with her possessed father seal's sam's fate as part of azazel's army. the sexuality she shares with her father makes her son's blood diseased and cursed. the family line is tainted by incest. her kiss is what allows sam and dean to grow up that way, to become so codependent, what allows the moments of avsc, swan song, and playthings to happen! in the beginning. this begins the cycle of selling and saving souls--mary for john, john for dean, dean for sam. it's literally THEE spn episode, perhaps even more than playthings. even though sam's barely in it, his fate hangs over the whole episode, and this is full house of wincest at its finest.

[loadednachosao3]

what I make is WILDLY inconsistent from month to month, which is inconvenient, so it needs to be planned around. I could make $600 or $8k depending on the customers, my health, whether or not I made any content for passive sales recently... my average when you take into account my best customer is about $200/hr, but if I were to just talk to a rando on the phone instead of fucking around with my whale, my rate has me earning about $120/hr. that doesn't include anything extra, like tributes (tips, basically), content buys, or things like that.

that also doesn't mean I WILL make that much just by being signed on. I could wait for hours for a 2-minute call, or I could talk for 3 hours to the same guy and rake in bank. it all depends.

for me, with the niches I've picked, it comes pretty naturally. I've always been a very sexual person, so this career progression wasn't too difficult for me! the hardest part is making sure at the start to learn all the common scams so you can stop yourself from falling for them.

and BOUNDARIES! especially for people who have been socialized not to "rock the boat," it can be difficult to enforce them at first. but you need to be able to do that in this business! even if you market as submissive, stand firm!

but as far as the actual work goes... some guys are more difficult than others because their kinks aren't as familiar to me, or they're really picky, or I need to be tuned the fuck in the entire time... usually though, it's a lot of being mean, laughing at their tiny dicks, and taunting them with my body, which is easy peasy by now!

ok, I guess I lied a bit... when you're independent, there's also the matter of things like marketing, graphic design, audiovisual editing... the clerical work is a SLOG! so be aware if you try to go into it that that's what you're in for. it's a job like any other, so it's not a total breeze!

TAXES TOO!! you have to do them on your own, or get a sex worker-friendly accountant (lots will turn you down if you do 18+ work). so set aside 30% for that (or however much for your area)!

as for its similarities to 1-800-SALAMANCA, I actually based a lot of the content off of my real experiences! I modeled early Nacho off of some of my most annoying customers, lmao. the stubbornness, the hanging up without saying bye, the "you're the Dom, aren't you supposed to tell me my own kinks without me giving you any info???" bullshit, deleting and remaking the account... a little bit of a vent story there, LOL!

now, I don't have as glamorous a career as Lalo, nor do I have nearly as many finsubs. but I've done my fair share of findom before, so Lalo's personality is sort of a mixture of my persona and how I'd imagine him as a character to act! also, the site they use is named the way it is because it's a parody of the site I mainly work on, lmao. but with improved functionality.

I got into it because I had health issues that caused me to quit my vanilla job. I tried to be a freelance writer for a while... what a mistake! I should have gotten right into sex work, then maybe I wouldn't have had to piss through all my savings. I just figured, I like sex, camgirls make money, I'm hot... why not?

alas, camming was a LOT more work than I was expecting, especially with a physical disability! I found out through camming that phone sex was still a thing, and got into that instead. whew! much better! I also create content to sell on several sites. that's good for passive income, which is great on bad days!

as for whether I'd recommend it... I'd say yes, but with caveats. you have to be a certain type of person: firm with boundaries, decently creative, strong stomach, resilient to negative comments and insults directed toward both your body and personality, strong sense of marketing and design (or willing to learn), and the drive to keep going even when it's slow.

what you do NOT have to be: conventionally attractive, allosexual, a nymphomaniac, non-monogamous, white, skinny, cis, big-boobed, attracted to men, completely confident with your body, a total master of everything, into every kink. of course, having some or all of these things will certainly help you (hello privilege), but ANYONE of any sex, gender, color or creed can do this! trust me: there are men attracted to EVERY type of person. and they WILL pay to get what they want (your attention/content).

so I'd say go for it if you think you'd like it, but DO. YOUR. RESEARCH. FIRST! lots of it! you're NOT going to make it big selling feet pics on onlyfans as a total newbie. you CAN make a decent (or amazing) living off of it if you have dedication, creativity, patience, and time, though!

thanks for the thorough questions! let me know if you guys have more!

[willowser-but-nsfw]

Willow, I need you to know that your Dragon King Bakugo has been living rent free in my head since you posted about him. I hope you don’t mind me sending this, but I just. I can't stop thinking of how he’d act the first time you finally let him have free reign of your body. To just explore with his hands and his face as he pleases while you stand there trying to bear it. And of course it's driving you insane!! The way he kneads at your flesh, and how he buries his face in the crook of your neck to inhale your scent.

And he’s so lost in you – the sounds you're making, the way you smell, how you feel – that he isn't even paying attention to how it's affecting him. He can feel it, obviously. It's impossible not to, but his focus is all on you.

But you!! you are very aware. It's right in front of you. Flushed red, impossibly hard, and dripping, and so so so tempting.

So you decide to take matters in your own hands (he he), and idk, maybe it’s a misstep, or a bit of hesitance on your part, but you don’t quite grab him? Instead you end up barely brushing him. And he makes such a pretty noise!!

A needy whine that sets your whole body on fire, and encourages you to properly wrap your hand around him, fascinated by his reaction and eager to hear more.

But it’s your time to bite back a whine, when he thrusts into your hand with a grunt and starts up at a steady pace.

You can feel his stupid smirk against the skin of your neck.

(ok, I'm done. I think it's out of my system for now. WHEW. thank you, will for feeding us so good I can't stop thinking about this asshole 💕)

TIPH EXCUSE ME ?? I AMFHSJFJANFHS this is so 🥴🥴 makes me crazy !! it's so clearly affecting him and his body and he's !! so wrapped up in you that he's not even really paying it any mind !! meanwhile, you're like 👀 !! WOAH !! tiph...you are so big brained...i'm unhinged thanks !!!!!

and when you touch him, it takes him by complete surprise !! because he's not expecting to feel any better than he already does, all tangled with you: smelling the clean-soap scent of your hair, feeling how soft you are against him, how much smaller you are !! a cute little thing that is squirmy and warm, that sounds so sweet when you say his name !! he really thinks this is peak. could die right there, suffocating you into the sheets.

but omg, when you really touch him !!! ajgbdusjaksj i'm losing it tiph akfjak omg. and he's so shameless i can't 💀 lil beast brain chasing after the smooth, tight pressure of your hand !! DEAD AND DYING AKGBAOFVAKKA you have put this into my head how am i supposed to think of anything else !!

[butmakeitgayblog]

15 questions

Tagged bby @barbieliberationarmy thank you!

Were you named after anyone? Molly Ringwald's character in Pretty in Pink 😕

Do you have kids? Fuck no 🤨 never wanted any and still don't, but have nannied for two babies/toddlers and after awhile they can start to feel like your quasi kids. You love them and it's hard to hand them back to parents who don't really... feel the need to put as much effort into parenting as you do into taking care of them when they're with you. If that makes sense.

When was the last time you cried? Yesterday

What sports have you played/do you play? Basketball through elementary and middle school but dropped off in high school. And a bit of volleyball but whew that was an epic fail. Does golf count? Darts? Pool? Flip cup? Beer pong? No? Ok

Do you use sarcasm? huh what idk

First thing you notice about people? I don't really think about it tbh. Correction, Sam says I'm always saying whether or not someone has kind eyes 🥴

Scary movies or happy endings? Happy endings, but also if the horror has a fantastic plot twist then 🤌🏻

What are your hobbies? Reading, writing, video games, I like music gameshows don't judge me, haven't drawn in forever but in theory that's still a hobby just one I've set aside. Sleeping. Really good at that one. Cooking.

What is your eye colour? Green/hazel

Any talents? I make a mean potato salad? (No fuckin raisins 😒)

Where were you born? Illinois

Do you have any pets? No, haven't had any since my pug died several years back

How tall are you? 5'5

Favorite subject in school? Other than art... probably history. Or choir/band

Dream Job? Art history professor (shocking, I know) or perhaps a curator. Art restoration. Something within that general arena.

Idk who to tag cuz idk who's done it. Everyone? @syngularitysyn @anonymous-red-506 @100hearteyes @commanderlexaofthegrounders @sassymajesty @heda-in-the-clouds @gabywithoutthedollhouse @bisexualseraphim and literally anyone else just tag me back

[crimeronan]

WHEW okay. ROUGH fucking start to the morning but things are gonna be okay now. putting under a cut for people who don't care abt my endless unrelenting medical drama but for those who do. Come On This Fucking Journey With Me.

so, necessary background.

i have been having intermittent medical emergencies since february and my doctor has been trying since march to get me a specialist rheumatology appointment. the rheumatology clinic keeps ignoring the referral and/or saying that they need more paperwork and documentation for it.

my doctor has at this point provided them with

her physical observations of my visibly abnormal symptoms

all of the many many many many Many medications i've been prescribed and their effects on said symptoms

multiple different types of positive ANA showing i have uncontrolled progressive autoimmune disease

all my negative antibody tests (have yet to test positive for any one specific antibody)

my doctor - who is excellent - has also followed up with them repeatedly to try to get me scheduled. because i am dying. like i try not to be super dramatic here bc i don't like worrying people and maybe i'm overblowing my symptoms but like. when you're at the point that one of your partners schedules an impromptu overnight flight to come up and monitor you for a week bc your other partner is on vacation & you're in danger of stroking and being unable to call an ambulance for yourself if someone isn't in the room to notice the signs...... i feel like at that point it's fair enough to say I Am Fucking Dying. i am dying. i've been dying for months. like very slowly and inconsequentially but MORE THAN MOST PEOPLE ARE DYING AT ANY GIVEN TIME.

so two weeks ago, after even more fucking phone tag, rheumatology was like. we have all of your tests and documentation now. we'll call to schedule you in soon :) if we don't, call us in two weeks!

today is, of course, the two week mark.

i thought it was strange that they hadn't called because my current symptom progression is usually triaged as The Top Tier Of Autoimmune Medical Emergencies. and my doctor herself has gotten me in for same-day appointments whenever i develop new symptoms because i am apparently not being fucking dramatic about how fucked up i am.

but! rheumatology is overburdened by a combination of COVID-era backups and a MASSIVE influx of newly disabled people with long COVID. and they're dealing with the same understaffing and shortages as the rest of the healthcare system. so it wasn't THAT weird.

called the clinic as soon as they opened this morning. was put on hold for a few minutes, which is normal.

guy gets back on the line. informs me they actually Don't have the test results that they need to schedule me (even though they TOLD ME THEY DID two weeks ago). and that they can't help me.

at this point i got off the phone and had a hysterical crying breakdown so profound that multiple partners swooped in to make a Shitload of Very Testy phone calls to various places on my behalf. bc they love me and are wonderful i am very loved. i have been taking the whole "actively dying" thing in stride for months for the most part but apparently this morning i hit my Fucking Limit. because OH MY FUCKING GOD.

so after an hour of hysterical crying, the receptionist at my main doctor's office calls back. she has always been very kind and takes calls from me / my partners extremely seriously, because of..... you know. The Everything.

she's just as kind and sweet and apologetic as ever but also there is kinda an undercurrent of apoplectic fury. she's spent some time trying to figure out What The Fuck Is Going On. turns out that

there was one more test rheumatology needed, even tho they said they had all my documentation. ok. fine.

my doctor did in fact order this test immediately after my last appointment.

i did in fact have the bloodwork done for this test immediately after my last appointment. like within an hour.

there was NO REASON for rheumatology not to have these test results.

except.

that the phlebotomist who took my blood.

ran every fucking ordered test.

except.

the one.

i needed.

to get scheduled.

with rheumatology.

so i've been waiting two weeks for fucking Nothing. because i thought i had my referral sorted. and the rheumatology clinic did not fucking inform my doctor that actually! they were wrong! about having the documentation to schedule me in!

the receptionist called up the lab to make sure that they Can run the necessary test. confirmed that they can. then she called up the rheumatology clinic and sent over all of my current documentation all over again and told them to be on the lookout for the final test. THEN she called the lab AGAIN to say, "hey, i'm sending you this order electronically, but i'm making an extra note that you guys need to do it right this time, AND you need to treat this as highest priority n analyze the results immediately. and i'm giving you the specific test number right now to make sure you fucking write it down correctly."

and then she gave ME the test number. and said "write this down. and when you get there, ask them what the number is for your test. and make sure that it matches."

which all took up most of her morning and truly was going above and beyond, all she really Needed to do was resend the lab order n tell me to go get more blood drawn. ESPECIALLY since it's an indie office & she handles ALL of the patient scheduling and bureaucracy.

but she is mad. and also i have dying patient privilege.

i felt much better after this because tbh half of why i was so upset was because i already know i have multiple forms of irreversible damage to various body parts and i really fucking physically feel like i get closer to dying every day and i really cannot fucking deal with being triaged as a non-priority possibly-faker hysteria patient.

but this does not seem to be the case.

so. unless something ELSE manages to go wrong with all of this bureaucratic bullshit, what's going to happen is: i am going to drive to a lab 45 minutes away to get my bloodwork done today bc that's the closest place with same-day appointments. i am going to call my doctor's office and tell them that the blood test was done, bc the receptionist said to call her from the parking lot once i'm finished. my doctor is going to receive the test results and send them to rheumatology either today or tomorrow. and within two weeks (Supposedly For Fucking Real This Time), rheumatology will ACTUALLY FUCKING CALL TO SCHEDULE ME IN.

in the most ideal and luckiest world, i will in fact be triaged as an emergency case. which means things will move fast in terms of both getting a call from the scheduling team and getting scheduled in. however it's also possible that they will have patients who are in, like, multi-organ-failure shutdown crisis, who obviously need to be prioritized above me. i do have endless paper documentation and visible physical symptoms stating that i am very very very sick, so. fingers crossed but i don't want to jinx it.

this post is very long. medical bureaucracy is a nightmare. i am very very very lucky and blessed to have so many life partners who are willing to advocate for me because as you can imagine, none of this is easy to navigate when you are unbelievably fucking sick and have a brain that is progressively losing the ability to retain language or executive function or memory.

in conclusion.

being sick is so stupid.

[chaosverseline]

Memes

When imu first met crocodile (note :crocodile is trans here and was assigned female at birth, he is really a male, but in here he is still a baby)

Imu :okay! 😃Grandma is here! Now where is that baby!

Imu:(Sees baby crocodile) 😍gimme!gimme!gimme! Come on,where is she.where is she.

imu:(sees Edward Newgate) (>:0) yeah, I see you son in law, you’re chopped liver, where is the baby.

Yraif :(hands the baby to imu)

imu: Oh! 🥹 oh!

-five minutes later-

imu: I know you told me not to get you any clothes but….(holds up the armful of shopping bags 🛍) they partially jump in the cart!

-one second later-

imu:(cooing over their first grandchild) oh~! Isn’t she … just… god..

-2 minutes later-

imu: I know you said you have enough enough quilts,but….(pulls out a well done quilt from a box) I crochet them on the way in.

— much time later-

baby crocodile: (baby cries)Waaah— wah!

imu: OK, 😨(panicking) grandma got it,grandma got it 😰

imu:(sees *insert someone *rushing in)

imu: (demon mode)NOBODY ELSE TOUCHES THE KID, GRANDMA GOT IT!🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

* silence *

imu: 😅(calms down)whew, grandma have a little stroke , but I got u now.

—-at the end——-

imu:(to yraif and Edward Newgate) no pressure but… I want another one, make it happen.

—— after god valley——

imu: seriously? You two got 6 ass long years and still no 2nd kid? Then who else I can spoil! Did you two forgot how it works? Newgate , did you put it in the right place? Ah, well, it too late now, I’m taking yriaf with me, yes, young lady , you’re grounded for the next 20 years for this stupid stunt. Pray I didn’t extend it to 70 years.

————————————————————————-

You want beer?

imu: yriaf meet your father. I hope you two would get along.

xebec:…. Um…..

xebec: (holds up a beer glass 🍺) you want a beer?

imu:(smacks xebec head) (((ꎤ ✧曲✧)̂—̳͟͞͞o ShE is four! 🤬

xebec: I DONT KNOW! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO DO WITH HER?! (ᗒᗣᗕ)՞

imu: this wouldn’t happen if you didn’t left when she still a baby!

[afterwards]

narrator: xebec d rocks slept on the couch that night. Despite the rocky meeting, xebec eventually became a girl dad and charmed his way back into imu’s graces after a round of make up s*x. Which lasted for another 10 years until imu got annoyed with his lack of spousal commitment and xebec being always running off to his ship for another adventure and yeah, the whole I-want-to-take-over-the-world thing.

——————————————————————————-

Xebec and imu’s red flag

xebec:Hey girl, what's your favorite film?They said

imu: the best movie of all, a masterpiece of art called Human Centipede, Human Centipede(shadowy arms spout from their back)

Xebec: I think that I'm gonna get murdered tonight.

Xebec: I try to get the waiter's attention by blinking in morse code

Imu: (creepy)Why are you blinking so much?

Xebec:(rubbing the corners of his eye)I've got something in my eye

Imu:(shows really sharp fingernails)Here, let me get it out.

xebec:no thank you, I don't wanna die.

Saint elder: (dress up as a waiter and whispering at xebec ear)Bonjour, sir was blinking at me, is this because your date is a freak?

xebec and saint elder:(looks at imu, they are making a figure out of toothpicks and olives, in the chest of the figure is impaled with toothpicks)

Xebec:No

Saint elder:Very good then, bon appétit

—————————————————————————-

Amateurs

Donquixote Doflamingo : I am the first celestial dragon pirate!

Sir crocodile: I was there before you, you only publicized yourself as a celestial dragon so everyone can kiss your feet!

?: amateurs.

Doflamingo: What was that, punk?!

Yriaf : Amateurs.<——sailed under xebec d rocks as an active crew member undetected for 20 years prior to the god valley incident. A long time before either two amateurs ever came along.

every member of the d clan who are pirates: Hi. <——even though they are not celestial dragons,but they are still related to the nerona clan regardless, as the D clan are all related to imu’s half siblings at one point.

————————————————

Five elder stars: we need an army.

imu: I can take on xebec.

elder stars: in a fight right?

imu:……….:)

elder stars: in a fight right??😨

—————-/———pigeon meme——-

imu: (to literally anyone in close proximity to child/grandchildren/great grandchildren ) is this a new in law I need to torture?

[coffeelovesdramasalatte]

LITA Ep. 4 Rewatch Thoughts Pt. 3

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

Ok Rain, you and I both know you didn't sleep through this honey

Phayu looks unconvinced as well lmao - do you see this eyebrow raise?

Slightly controversial opinion, but I actually love that I occasionally hear fabric rustling and other mic interference. It adds a messy and fun element to the scenes that make them feel more real to me. Here, we heard what is probably Phayu's shirt slide against the mic as he leans into Rain.

The first time I watched this, I had to pause and raise my eyebrows ngl. Supremely unprepared for this relatively simple sequence and in the end highkey felt like I got slapped in the face (but in a funny way).

Boss looks so intense and good here

Taking it from the top

down

down

down

(including this shot bc wow Boss has big hands)

and...

(we just got to the halfway point y'all... whew)

I've never heard of this seduction technique before. Phayu, you might be the only one this works on (I feel seduced but not in a sexy way, more like if I was a cat I'd make biscuits on Rain's tummy)

I don't have a whole lot of commentary on this part aside from they're both adorable and I love the way Phayu likes to drag Rain physically closer to him whenever they talk. I think physical touch is really important to Phayu and I love how Rain basically preens under the attention every time Phayu touches him

I have literally seen this 12 times. Every time I'm like OMFG THEY ARE ABOUT TO KISSSSSSSS

But NO, freaking P' Saifah couldn't wait outside for one more minute. At least he has the decency to give them a countdown do-over. Phayu looks like he considering the merits of ending his twin while Rain is just distressed. I love how they framed these shots of P' Saifah with his body physically dividing the screen between Phayu and Rain's faces which are blurry in the background. This drama uses physical blocking very creatively in my opinion.

P' Saifah I'm going to reach through the nth dimension just to SHAKE YOU I mean seriously how could you not see Phayu and Rain were having a MOMENT

But it does lead to this stellar headpat so I'm not too mad (the 7th one in the series, if I'm not mistaken), plus Rain's praise kink gets activated (seriously, just watch him reminisce about the headpat that just happened)

AHHHH Rain looks SO HAPPY to see that Phayu wrote him a lil note and helped him out - I mean it's no wonder Phayu would bend over backwards just to put that expression on Rain's face from here on out

Including this shot to praise the lighting directors bc it's beautiful, as is our hard at work Rain

I think it could have been really cool if they had Rain use his lucky triangle ruler thing (that Phayu gave him) here, bc that would have been an extra layer of symbolism. I think if they were going to include it as a serendipitous plot point, it would have been better to introduce it this way rather than stick it in a glass case.

GOOD WORK BBY!!! Your reward comes later though

AND the first thing he thinks of after is...

LOOK at him being a responsible student! He's only got two left and then he's doneeeeee (unlike me, I still have so much to do lmao and yet here I am) - (OK I wrote this earlier part two days ago and at the time of writing this sentence I am DONEEE so me *join hands emoji* Rain: done with finals)

My plans for the next 48 hours:

Except this boy gets revived at the thought of seeing his pseudo-bf and runs immediately bolts out of bed 2 seconds later. Ngl if I had a Phayu I'd probably do the same, but since I'm a single pringle it's just me and my clean sheets

Ok, now where have we seen almost this exact color combo before?? Mayhaps you can scroll up a couple pictures...

Basically, I think this is the production crew's way of telling you Rain's about to get smooched by Phayu. Also Rain's changed clothes from the previous scene so he really cleaned up to go to the garage awww

I love that Rain tells himself he should be using this time to sleep, then shrugs at himself and goes to Phayu anyway. Priorities, priorities

Yay, P' Saifah is here to guide Rain to Phayu!! The in-laws are getting a lot of interaction these days hehe. Also look at how eager Rain looks here - full on puppy mode (I met a cockapoo puppy named Molly today so I know my comparison is accurate)

I like that P' Saifah is talking Phayu up to Rain - not that Rain needs any more convincing that Phayu is the coolest mechanic ever. It's the thought that counts though.

For some reason, this shot of Rain and this shot of Phayu make me laugh. Rain's just standing there like some guy when we all know he's thee guy and Phayu is making the "this is so sus" face

The interaction between the three of them right after is so funnyyy - my favorite part is P' Saifah calling his big bro out - this is prime younger sibling behavior. Also Phayu pretending to be a grump - he's just kiss deprived is all (that problem is about to be solved tho)

I also like how I though Rain was going to be the possessive one but Phayu is out here with raised hackles even though P' Saifah is just being friendly to press his buttons (again, prime little sibling behavior). Please observe how pleased Rain looks about this though!

Me + P' Saifah: Phayu you're a SIMP

Ok I like that they included this shot of PhayuRain for no discernable reason (bc it cuts to them walking over to the other part of the garage right after it) other than to show us Phayu looking at Rain fondly with his eyebrows raised

I also love how Rain immediately reports that his work is done (likely so he could get praised) but then Phayu counters with "did you sleep?" to which the answer is no. Rain's like "ahhh we can't win with this one uff" (don't worry bff, your reward is en route)

On to part 4!! I'm hoping it's the last one or none of you are gonna want to read it (this is a lie, there are 5 parts bc I have no self control when it comes to taking screenshots of PhayuRain)

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 4 | Part 5 | Part 6

[callipraxia]

[Well, this was supposed to be my big NWHS/ATOTS review...but I literally made it three minutes in before I got on an epic tangent and now I desperately want to write about and read up on stuff related to the tangent. I haven't desperately wanted to write something for quite some time, now, so the review proper will have to wait - as for now, enjoy ten observations on the first three minutes?]

Whew. Here we go. NWHS/ATOTS, planning to watch it straight through, let's go. It's gonna be intense, but we/I can do it. Probably.

Not What He Seems

Aaand now Stan's irradiated his forehead. No way this could ever have terrible consequences. He's better at lab safety than Ford, sure, but that's...reeeealllly not saying much. However, since Ford, Fiddleford, and Stan should probably have all had much worse side effects from constant improper handling of radioactive materials...maybe it's something about Gravity Falls' weirdness that shields them, or it's just not quite as dangerous in this world?

2. "Minor gravitational anomalies." Ford, that...feels like a bit of an understatement? Ok, so, I expect you could have written down "Stan, do not do the thing, it will make the house fly to Oz and destroy half the town. Yes, Stan, I'm specifically talking to you. Don't do it." and it would not have made any difference, but...'minor' is a relative term....

3. I am kind of impressed with Fiddleford managing to sleep, all things considered. Though who knows how long he's been awake, working on the laptop? I would give ten pretties to know what he knows at this point, though.

5. If I hadn't already done an AU stemming from NWHS, I...might be tempted, now that I think about it, to see what I could come up with in response to "what if Fiddleford had been awake when the laptop indicated the device had just become active?"

6. Ooh, is that a picture of a very young Caryn and Filbrick that the twins run under, after they pass the end table and just before Mabel stops in front of the random door she found? It looks...kinda like them, but also kinda pilgrim-y? But the woman's hairstyle is better suited perhaps for a very young Caryn, timeline-wise, and the pictures are more silhouettes than anything, and the male figure wears its hat very low.

7. Also, wow, does the Shack have a lot of doors or what? Manly Dan definitely should have picked different trees to build the Shack from...that, or the reality-breaker in the basement has started affecting geometry slowly upstairs over the decades. Which is also not a bad idea, I guess.

8. "I am the god of destruction!" More like a significant priestess at best, honestly, Mabel - no shade on you, of course, but when you've got the likes of Stanford "let's punch a hole in reality!" Pines, Stanley "danger, blah-blah-blah, can it, Poindexter!" Pines, Fiddleford "homicidal pterodactyl-bot I made when my wife left me" McGucket, and Bill running around in your setting...the competition is pretty intense, y'know?

9. Though I do wonder now if Mabel ever thought about that line again...if she remembered saying that, say, during the period where it looked more and more like the world might end...or that they might all get arrested...or after she heard that keeping the Portal open did not fix her family...maybe even when she handed "Blendin" the Rift, seeking a perfect endless summer....

10. "Plenty of summer left." "Enjoy it while you can, Stan." Stan really did think the kids might well never forgive him for lying to them all this time, and that's even if he got the real Stanford back alive. If he hadn't...if he hadn't, then he was confronted with the possibility of both the kids cutting him off and not even having the satisfaction of success to cling to. Or anything to cling to, unless you count loads of new guilt, now that he has seeming confirmation that he's responsible for Ford's death. I...do not see that ending well, really.

And yet, he took that chance. He could have decided "it's been so long that the odds of success are very low, and these kids are definitely alive and not too irradiated yet. I could just let this go. Settle for what I've got instead of endangering it for a one-in-a-million shot at getting back what I've lost." But he didn't, even though he was aware of how thoroughly failure really was an option. He was gambling everything at once, with no reserves to get him out of town if the dice landed the wrong way - willing, essentially, to burn the world (certainly his own world, but possibly, y'know...the world) for one person, for no better reason than his own feelings about that person and/or what had happened to that person. And I suspect this is at the root of what I find so interesting about him as a character. There's a reason, after all, why characters like this feature in so much of what's considered Literature, folks. [And here there were tangents; while I'm sure I will one day figure out what the character limit for tumblr posts is, I don't have enough hours in today to do it with]

[tododeku-or-bust]

ok but where’s your sources proving that racism is a thing that exists????? Uh I don’t experience that as a white person so how do I know you are being honest??? I need sources because I’m just trying to avoid misinformation not bc I’m racist- what white people sound like when Black people explain anything to them.

On god I thought you was serious 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 you had my chest HOT! im cackling I'm so relieved right now! Whew! Luckily some of us have passionate reactions but then recognize our biases before we start saying shit we don't actually understand 👀👀

I'mma get over that post eventually. I just ain't like that!! 😤😤😤 They really showed up on Fairuz' page talking mad shit to them and about them (trying to make it sound sourced) and then couldn't back it up when people with that SAME ENERGY showed up! Because you just wanted to be racist, and you can do that without wasting everybody's time!!! The performances are becoming unbearable.

And then, to start acting all diminutive about it was what really set me off 😅. Racism ain't cute! "oh it's just my emotions" you can be emotional without being racist. No amount of "I was so angry" makes you being racist any less a problem. I'm angry! I'm angry all the time witnessing the injustices done towards my people and other people around the world. And yet, if I were to react with such rage coming from such ignorance, there would be ZERO grace for me!

*long sigh* you funny for this one though. Stop trying to give me heart attacks. I'm old, Yusuke 🤣

[rahleeyah]

1.0 here, again :)

I'm so glad there's a safe space for the pixie lovers among us, hah. I agree with you about the s2 shag, by the way. (and shame on DW for almost firing her for a haircut???)

ok I'll tell you what long fanfics I read if you promise it won't slow your own writing down--I'm hooked on "I'll Crawl Home to Her" already and I need MORE :)

I (re)read your Hell of a View. I think it was one of the first SVU/EO fanfics I ever read, and it was even better going back to it with several 1.0 seasons and all the 3.0 seasons under my belt.

I discovered Lujahs and read both Berceuse and A Clean Burn, both of which were stunning.

I read Vows by Strawberry_day which isn't super long but gorgeous. Then I went and read everything by that author, who really has a unique voice that just grabs me and won't let go.

I read The Currency of Heroes by surreallis which, in the context of my first time through the early seasons, was a cool parallel take on newly familiar scenes.

And that's just recently! If you have recommendations for essential stuff I should read, especially stuff published before 2022, please do share.

Ok, last thing: I just watched Risk and definitely have my favorite 1.0 episode so far. Elliot goes UC! He seizes the opportunity to flirt with Liv in public! (and omg lol he buys himself a beer and her a scotch for $12!!) He gets beat up and Liv has to watch/listen from the car! He gets to act tough about it when they get back to the station! They share a flirty look when she playfully downplays his injuries! They go UC together as a married couple! She seizes the opportunity to call him baby! And then uggghhhhh that last scene where they both break my heart being vulnerable about living with the guilt of shooting someone, and even when it's a "good kill" it stays with you. And she clocks his loss of appetite, and he tells the truth about not sleeping when she asks, and she tells the truth that therapy hasn't helped when he asks. Whew, yeah, favorite episode so far.

I do love these updates I really do!! Thank you for sharing with us 💜

The misogynist response to m's s2 haircut really is something isn't it

🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much for this!!! I am so excited about crawl, it's a slow burn but I have a lot of things to say and I'm having so much fun writing it, so it means a lot to me that you're enjoying it 🥰

Berceuse is one of my all time favorites oh my God it's so good. And surreallis is like. God tier.

I have a fic rec tag here I can't remember if I referred that to you before, but there's lots of stuff in the notes on those posts too!!

Risk is so good. And it's one of those episodes that shows that Elliot likes going undercover. He likes a bit of theater he has fun with it he enjoys trying on someone else's life, and I love what that says about him as a character and I really appreciate that oc kind of seized on that. OC has for the most part imo done a really good job of tying in his existing characterization which is no mean feat for a show that started ten years after anyone had last written for him with a full staff of people who'd never written for him. I can only hope that their new showrunner will choose to continue to honor his character and pull away from that last guy's attempts to turn Elliot into a budget punisher

[thegeminisage]

okay im BACK in the spirit??? temple??? robot??? factory????? and im done with the last limb. i bet theres a boss. i KNOW theres a cutscene. lets fucking do this

bro this was LLLITERALLY in the trailers how did they put such endgame stuff in and we didnt know!!!

it's so funny. in the trailers we thought flux constructs were gonna be helpful and mineru's body was a boss. but they're bosses and she's helpful lol

god her voice sounds SO familiar

LINK CAN RIDE HER???? OH MY GOD

MECH GAME MECH GAME MECH GAME

oh my GODDD THIS IS WHAT ALL THOSE ARMORIES WERE FOR.......like PLOT WISE!!! i thought it was stupid to just have supplies sitting around

ok thats fucking bananas. im bad at fighting with her bc the enemies are too short lmfao

also im not sure im ready to do this boss thing. maybe i wanna go buy some more battery first...get more practice...

YOU CAN ATTACH A FAN AND DO A NARUTO RUN LOL

god i REALLY suck at fighting in the mech. it's weird! maybe bc i have emitters on her hands and not real weapons?!

oh sick you can give her cannons............

at this point like. i really can just let the gang kill the bad guys lol

the story path seems to be taking me directly to this path i was eyeing last night. i'm getting as far as the lightroot and then peacing out. like. i am getting my ASS beat down here

GLOOM HORRIBLINS?? will wonders never cease...

oooh good call on leaving. i can see a gloom hinox from here that i wouldve had to fight next...i have had more than enough of the story right now anyway, it's time to chill to keep it all Balanced

i bet if i went to lookout landing rn and talked to purah she'd be like I WONDER WHO THE FIFTH SAGE IS. let's try it

awww boo she can't travel with me until i get the secret stone.....

what a BUMMERRRRRR

oh wild!! you can explain about mineru to purah. then why tf cant i explain zelda is a dragon >:(

ok, actually, i decided i wanna go turn in that last claw to help the fucking mother statue or w/e. scary...........................

if im lucky i can just glide/dive there from the nearby tower lol

YOOOO wait dinraal's coming out of her hole...maybe i can snag a piece...

got one! i dont know if ive ever ridden dinraal for an extended period of time before...she is taking me so far from where i wanted to go. sigh

so, while i hate shooting the dragons, i love getting the little spike. i bet it feels sooooo good. like being groomed. a spa day for ms dinraal courtesy of one lunatic nonverbal swordsman

harder to admire the scenery from her back bc of the heat filter. NOT impossible. but harder

ugh there was a blood moon...i couldve gotten such cool pics but i was too slow :(

uh oh we're going down. girl i DONT wanna go back to the depths rn!!!

GOT MY SCALE. i was aiming at her fang but whatever. time to go back to the spring!!! i hope i can make it from here.......

MADE IT. whew. im not staying long idw to encounter any Hands

ok, so back to the mother goddess statue...

oh!!! she's okay again.......

wah she's SPARKLING. i'm welling up a little. it was so upsetting to see her toppled

omg she wants to give me a sword but my belongings are full. if it's the fucking goddess sword which 1. i got from amiibo and 2. MAKES NO SENSE...

well. it is.

finally spent my sage's wills on tulin. his arrows come in clutch and also i wanna go in order lol

i have to quit for now!! more later or tomorrow i suppose