#ok I'm going back to study
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my favorite binnie looks (274/β)
#stray kids#changbin#seochangbinet#createskz#bystay#staysource#jypartists#malegroupsnet#seo changbin#stray kids gifs#stray kids changbin#skz#my.gifs#favoritebinnies#omg i'm watching his ep with hyo and omg i love him#ok gonna go eat lunch and then come back and gif lix and continue studying evidence
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I keep drinking coffee thinking it's gonna make me Productive and then instead of doing the work I actually have to do I just compulsively make spreadsheets :(
#my homework is. not done#but!!! i just realized if i take 2 spanish classes i can have a russian/spanish major instead of just russian#(it's complicated but this would leave me with: double major languages and history with a joint major in asian middle east studies)#(plus a minor in religious studies and concentration in islamicate studies)#first i gotta: relearn spanish for like the third time#but it's ok i'm hopping thru spain in less than a month so i should proooobably do that anyway#man when i was touring colleges my mom was like really dismissive about the idea of double majoring and now i'm here like#How Many Things Can I Stack Up To Get Big Number On Transcript#aaaaaaaand because of ames requirements i did the dumb thing and ended up learning persian while my spanish is still kinda iffy#ΠΈΡΠ°ΠΊ ΡΠΎΠ²Π΅ΡΡΠΈΠ»ΠΎΡΡ ΡΠΎ ΡΡΠΎ Ρ ΠΏΡΡΠ°Π»ΡΡ ΠΏΡΠ΅Π΄ΠΎΡΠ²ΡΠ°ΡΠΈΡΡ as they say#so i'm just gonna have to study two languages at once next semester... or just keep going thru the cycle of relearning them abt every year#my russian is a big girl it can survive on its own but i now gotta feed the babiessssss#tho ig what this kinda cyclically learning and forgetting spanish has taught me is like#languages are less like babies and more like those lil desert plants that wither up when they don't have any water#they might look dead but they're nearly impossible to kill completely#and will bounce right back after a lil care n patience. i just gotta like.... water em#the one thing standing in my way is ideological opposition to my spanish textbook#i have to pay $200 for access to a *website*#*i don't even get a book just a shitass ebook*#but it's ok one of the spanish profs likes me i think? i think she would let me skip the intro lit class#only problem is it was Genuinely Hard for me to follow along when i audited advanced lit... 90% of the class was heritage speakers#tho ig like. having taken a class meant for native russian speakers should help w learning to survive that kinda thing#genuinely i think i can do it#just gotta make that my goal. study. do it for zapata#and if i wanna go into translating... having good spanish should help right? like if i finally get b2 spanish?#yeah. if i could do kazakh history for native russian speakers i can do spanish lit for heritage spanish speakers. it's equivalent enough#but ok i'm gonna visit my buddy in spain who did nearly the exact same shitass majors combination as me#tho i think he did spanish/arabic for his language major and just Happens To Also Be Fluent In Russian cuz he's Like That#it's ok he's two years older than me i have two years to become that cool#he can tell me what to do
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I did not have much faith in this project in the first place but I pray to god they mean this in a "we're going to adapt the scenes from the book that show Patrick's deeply-repressed longing for men" way and not in a "we're going to fetishize heinously graphic depictions of violence against women in the name of being 'transgressive' and 'edgy'" way, which the original film remarkably managed to avoid despite the subject matter (probably because it was written and directed by women). I deadass don't trust a man with this source material π NOTHING about the book is 'erotic' (even the incredibly graphic sex scenes are uncomfortable to read because they're from Patrick's pov) and if this man thinks it is then. uh. he should be on a list. and this is coming from a sicko who finds Patrick Bateman incredibly sexy
#why do we even need an american psycho remake the 2000 film is great#and christian bale IS patrick bateman to me he's so iconic in that role#yeah ok it's not a direct adaption of the book but that's bc to be quite frank some of the stuff in the book SHOULD NOT BE PUT TO SCREEN.#it works on page and that's okay!! not everything needs to be seen!!!#i'd argue strongly if you wanted to make a more interesting american psycho movie you'd actually dial back the graphic violence even more#and make it a full-blown character study like the musical did bc it low-key works so well and is very faithful to the spirit of the book#but i'd like it better without the singing#if the 'remake' is just an excuse to adapt the fucking rat scene i'm going to kill myself and every man involved in production
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Sometimes I enjoy my history of rhetoric class, and other times I want to scream WHY DO WE ONLY CARE ABOUT THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE SPEAKING TO THE LARGEST POSSIBLE AUDIENCE?!?!
#it's the Americanism#we're doing rhetoric of the middle ages right now and I KNOW why we're studying Rhetoric that's the name of the Class after all#but I'm just like. I want to know about every individual person I don't Wanna study this through the lens of political influence#idk it's this irrational thing that keeps coming up for me#where I suddenly get the urge to go WHY ARE WE EVEN STUDYING THIS TELL ME ABOUT THE PEOPLE'S LIVES#ANYWAY#ok back to being logged out
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#suddenly getting a c feels so terrible#like failing an exam once used to#i used to be happy about such grades once now it just feels like failure#i guess i can never go back to that#wow way to ruin my day#and i'm aware its dramatic and there are worse things and many would be happy to pass#old me wouldn't relate#but on the other hand i want to strive for the best grades#i just truly wish that i can go this whole semester without getting a c π₯Ί for once ok maybe one is acceptable but not 2 or 3 c's#i only want b's and a lot of a's π₯Ί#also this made me realize this is absolutely not! the field of study i want to write my bachelor thesis in#i always write the worst papers in this area of my studies π#the 3rd c i got on a paper in this area well at least for one i got a b overall because of my otherwise good contributions#but it's just not my thing idk what it is my papers might just lack depth i still need to look at the feedback tho even though i don't wann#anyways i have to study for an exam tomorrow i need it to go well i don't want to be disapointed#at least it only counts 40% and we have another exam to do better on in case it doesn't go as planned#but i really hope for an a or at least a b to not put me in a bad position for the 2nd exam π€π€#at the end of the day i should remind myself that i'm lucky to be in a position where that i get to worry about such tiny things#instead of real problems
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went to this fabulous talk about the parthenon marbles last night and 24 hours later im still buzzing with excitement about it and seeing my profs and then of course today i get an email from my boss asking for updates and im just aarghh why am i doing this work why am i not going back to school why am i not going on an archaeology dig ugh ugh ugh
#i shouldnt be at the club i should be reading juicy thucy#going back to school is a Lie i can't do it i will be Miserable#don't get me wrong i think what i'm doing for the next couple months is Important and Interesting i just........#i miss it i really do#i need to find another job asap that allows me to study greek on the weekends arghgh#hapo rambles#personal hapo#the reason i'm not going on a dig is because i will die of heatstroke ok#when will i have money and time to go to the acropolis museum waaaaaaaaah
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hey guys! i thought i should just let you know, this monday and wednesday i will be sitting my end of year exams, so my posting might be a bit hectic or missing until... mid or end of next week (if i'm gone the week after the upcoming one, just know i got bad results on my exams and that i am now crying about it :') ). these exams are really important, so i want to give my best in order to get to the school i want to get it, and if that means less posting and girlblogging on tumblr, then so be it. for this period of time, i will mostly be taking a break from social media in general in order to give my best, but i might be answering to dms, so if anyone wants to talk (for a short period of time, admittedly), feel free to dm me! xx
#if you see me online scream at me to go back to studying /j#lifeposting#<- new tag about when i'm posting about my life lol#ok bye i'm gonna revise maths
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i finished the merry wives of windsor today btw. 4 shakespeare plays left to go
#tales from diana#i'm in a pickle bc i've been burning through the remainders in the last year or so in a way that makes me... melancholic#i didnt hate merry wives even though i wasn't looking forward to it for a very long time bc i knew it was mostly prose#im neither a big falstaff fan (im sorry) not do i get the most charm from shakespeare from his prose#but admittedly it was still rather enjoyable as a comedy. you dont get a lot of fake cuckoldry plots from shakespeare specifically#not in comedy certainly! so i enjoyed the trickery of it#not the worst shakespeare play as far as pure entertainment value at all. nothing's as boring as henry viii#that one was a big disappointment#i have one play in each category left (counting the romances as their own category) (and counting kinsmen as his work)#coriolanus. king john. measure for measure actually! and two noble kinsmen#i know a lot about measure for measure already i just have never read it in full. twelfth night was like that as a reading experience too#i wasn't in a rush to get to it but in the case of measure. i wanted to get merry wives out of the way first#and leave my last pure comedy to be something i would almost certainly enjoy more#now im kind of in a pickle bc i feel the ecstasy of being tempted to just finish the complete plays already#but i also wanna pace myself and read other things#i kinda have this idea of what if i saved the last 4 to read in 2025? but we're not even halfway through 2024#i dont have that kinda patience#maybe ill reread some old favorites in the meantime or something. idk#i dont think i mentioned it on here but i got the rsc complete works second edition from 2022#last month! bc my riverside is in delicate condition. but i switched back between the two when reading merry wives#i just couldnt help it. i miss my mother. it's always going to be the most personally comfortable book for me to read from#i read the majority of these plays in that volume. that book TAUGHT ME to read shakespeare#but i need to be strong and i also enjoy comparative literary studies and a more recent book has a lot to offer#im yammering on to myself incoherently im sure nobody really cares what im saying. even i dont! ok goodbye goodnight
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β β
NA MINJUN + SNAKE TATTOO β β β β β³ located on his sternum is a snake coiled tightly around a couple of roses β the snake represents a rebirth, shedding it's skin to start a new beginning. the roses indicate his love for his art, the passion he has for music and being an idol. he got the tattoo shortly after jiwoon joined their ranks, after the rapid success of their latest comeback with the newest no spin addition.
#* / πππππ πππππ πππ : π½πΎπΊπ ππππ
ππ β dossier#* / πππππ πππππ πππ : π½πΎπΊπ ππππ
ππ β character study#i made this edit a few days ago and i HAD to share it with y'all or else#is this tattoo not saur sexy#like. giggles#minjun please call me back#i'm begging you#ok last post of the night! i go bed now
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#ummm mother indirectly. well. i made a joke to my sister about how yelan was a reason to live and my mom joked back#saying people like that were weak. and then we laughed it off but i actually experience suicidal ideation so i. ok#and now shes asking if i want to go w her out of state but i have#exams to study for and i'm really just. i hate travelling i'm LAZY!!!!!!#but i feel guilty when i tell her no#and i'm very#theres more i want to talk about but i cba#slight vent i guess#cw negative
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Thank your for the tag @thirteenmyspacegirl <3
1. Were you named after anyone?
Well, I named myself after 13 in a fanfic by @fuxdeiflswued haha And also Leslie's character in The Scarlet Pimpernel <3
2. When was the last time you cried?
Saturday lmao I'm very emotionally stable :,)
3. Do you use sarcasm?
Yeah, quite a lot, I think. It depends on the person I'm with, though.
4. What's the first thing you notice about people?
Uhm. I'm really bad at noticing anything about people tbh. So I guess their personality? I rarely really look at people, it's uncomfortable.
5. What's your eye colour?
Some sort of greyish-blue
6. Scary movie or happy ending?
Happy ending, please! I'm not a fan of scary movies at all.
7. Any special talents?
Hm. Maybe my ability to quickly absorb anything related to history? Not sure if it's a special talent, but I like it :)
8. Any pets?
Yes!! My dear dog, Watson, a red irish setter, who is my favourite dog in the whole wide world and the best emotional support I could wish for. And my beloved grumpy cat, Lilli, who dislikes being pet by most people, but once she likes you she's really quite the sweetheart and will never hurt you <3
9. What sports do you play/ have played?
I don't play any sports at the moment due to medical issues, but I really want to start running? It sound fun and like a great way to relief some stress. But before I used to do karate and play tennis and soccer, though I never thought of myself as good in any of those haha It was a lot of fun, though, and I do want to take up karate and tennis again at some point. Hopefully I'll be able to in the future. :)
10. How tall are you?
1,76m I think?
11. What was your favourite subject in school?
*chanting* HISTORY HISTORY HISTORY !!!! There's nothing better and I may have a sweet spot for my history teacher, too haha I also like german, but it can be a bit boring at times...
12. Dream job?
Definitely something with history! Maybe professor at a university or archivist. In an ideal world I'd just sit in a library all day long, studying wwi and infodumping to anyone willing to listen.
No pressure tags: @sunny-lie-melody @walkingcontradiction42 @mcrmadness @beartrust42 @phoenix-is-still-here
#ok now i'll go back to studying history hehe#i have an exam on friday and i'm so excited!!! :DD#i hope it'll go well but aaaahhh it's so cool to study everything and i'm really excited to see which sources we'll get to work with#and which questions we have to answer!#literally the last history exam i wrote i was just bouncing my legs all the time and grinning like an idiot haha#charlie rambles
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Aaaaaaand another request is done!!
I seriously can't wait to finish them all :D there are some news I want to tell you, guys!
But for now.. how are you all? How have you spent these holidays? Yesterday it was Epiphany here and I celebrated with my family! I got a giant and red sock full of chocolate! (I think I should start a diet after this!! XD)
Also I'd love to do some collab with some bloggers I appreciate a lot! I think I'll text them soon uwu 'cause we all need more support and.. what's better than sharing our works?! It could even be a way to have some fun together, keeping respecting and appreciating artists!! :D
Need some time to think about something amazing though ;3
#hebi talks random#no seriously I need to start a diet#I'm eating too much chocolate and it's not good xD#I also need to come back to study but the books i've ordered online haven't arrived yet#hope they will be here asap#also arb new event is so cute#i've already found dice and yay! he's cute!!#I stan Yukihiro Nozuyama#He's a great voice actor#ok maybe i'm saying too many stupid things here#i should stop but i really love using hashtag this way-#XD somebody helps hebi she's going crazy#i should stop drinking too much coffee too
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"This study says...", sorry mate but your bias is so on your sleeve that I'm not gonna be trusting any studies you cite because the thing is it's very easy to do a "study" that says anything you want, and it's just not worth my time to read tripe that just coincidentally supports exactly your position
(This is about "articles" that have "evidence" that just so happens to align with what the writer would want, and it's for some site that's gonna have massive bias. To make something up as an example, if Atheism.com has an article talking about how this study proves god doesn't exist... maybe you can see why I think they probably have their finger on the scale a bit and it's not really worth my time reading either the article or the study)
(Bonus summary of thoughts in the tags, realized why this most bothers me is it kinda stops being able to have an earnest conversation about important topics cause... yeah; this stuff is worth discussing but we can't when you're presenting evidence that's from one of the most biased sources on the subject you could possible have managed)
#like I just saw an article linked on here that immediately I could sniff out massive bias in#and despite how they were 'just asking questions' I already knew what they were going to say#and it's like... I'm not even gonna bother fucking engaging with some 27 note post with some smart people treating it like it's interesting#I'm not changing their mind; this isn't about rational ideas; it's about them believing something and wanting to back it up#and like... I get it; I probably do it even if I don't want to and then tell myself I'm being rational and it all lines up#so I'm not gonna talk about it#but the bias in just the article title alone became obvious#the site looks like a insular circlejerk that has the answer for everything already laid out and is gonna work backwards#it's just a bit ass; you know?#and like sorry mate; you can't present this as evidence#if I let you do this then I'll have to let the tankies come in with an article about how imperialism needs boats#and it'll just open up the floodgates of stupid opinions#but most of all... I ain't reading all that when someone's so obviously wrong#oh and I really wish I could tell you what this was about but... you know me... I don't like arguing#just kinda fucking stupid#and mhh... just goes back to people thinking that there's one correct way to do things#man that's stupid; everyone requires their own path through life#and I may not think that much of it is a wise idea; like crypto; if you're investing stop it; get some help#but I'm not just magically gonna change anyone's mind saying that#...we gotta work with the world as it is#not... mhh... ok; we're deep enough in the tags and the person who posted it is busy enough I don't think they'll read this#so I'll just come out and say that it was saying no fault divorce is bad for kids#As much as our society with its affinity for sentimentality and utilitarianism may try to deny it#a loveless marriage causes less damage to a child than does divorce#those last two tags are a word for word quote only missing the commas cause tumblr tags#and I don't really care what 'study' you cite... you're fucking stupid#as a kid where my parents divorced when I was like 4; you're fucking stupid#I promise the shit that's fucked up about me has more to do with the parents than the divorce#and basically you can just blow your stupid trad bullshit out your ass#oh; the trad christian website just happens to find evidence that divorce shouldn't be allowed; well good thing there's no bias here
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been so busy watching tv i keep forgetting i totally fucked up my statistics exam lol
#like i took it & was like ok whatever back to my canadian guys#and im in bed sobbing & singing along to neil murray songs bc i realized how my life is going in a direction i never wanted#and how the only time i felt alive with true purpose was when i was in the desert studying ecology#& listening to songs or watching shows with themes of relationships and wilderness likekms i am isolated from#both the things that give me any feelings of greater purpose#then I'm like oh lol i really fucked up that exam man
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Rereading ayaka is in love with Hiroko senpai!!! Last time I read it I don't think it was finished/I didn't finish it but ack. Now I also want to be in love πππ
#i want to say i want to be someone like ayaka but in reality im probably more like hiroko#i used to be someone like ayaka. i was really tunnel visioned and i didn't consider much aside from the person i was interested in#but it's been years now and there's a lot more to consider and it's. hard and im even more scared now.#i think there's someone who im currently talking with who's trying to figure out if im into women or not and if im available or not#but it's that sort of thing where there's just. a lot in my shoulders and a lot to consider. i want a relationship eventually but.#there's just so much to consider right now. in the past i thought that as long as i could make my partner happy a rx is just btwn 2 of us#but when i did actually get into a serious long term relationship i realized that most people. do expect getting to have in laws.#people for the most part want to be loved proudly and not have to hide it. and i do too. but at the same time. i just. there's so much on me#i almost came out to my dad the other day while trying to console him. but maybe that news would just be the last straw for him. idk.#i just can't really afford to have my life be shaken up much more right now when i just rebuilt some stability.#especially when my parents are having a midlife crisis and both of them are leaning on me. my health worsening also stressed them out too.#i really thought I'd be braver and have less to worry about the older i got and the more independent i became but. ig not.#in my teens i told myself once i reached adulthood I'd be free to be myself and pursue happiness. in my 20s i tell myself after med school.#maybe once I'm finally out of med school and etc I'll have the opportunity to live my life. or maybe by then there will be another reason.#it's a real concern. i mean. sure I've never wanted kids I've always been ace and I've always liked women but. the societal pressure.#to other queer people the gaydar goes off easily but to the cishet audience i've mostly. been able to go unnoticed.#and when you're younger not having a bf or ppl you're interested in and being focused on your studies is a thing your parents are proud of#but as i get older. it's just been harder. i don't know how much longer i have before i have to conform or have the cat out of the bag.#i don't even get it sometimes. i really don't. the expectation of family and marriage is wanting happiness for your child right? but somehow#idk. idk. i really don't know. sometimes maintaining an image. might be more important than your child's feelings.#and i really can't be certain that between ego and saving face compared to me that. I'll come out on top. i really don't know.#idk. idk. i know there are ppl interested in dating me. but idk. i really need some time to process things through.#sometimes i ask myself how i would feel abt it and i really can't figure out how i feel at all.#it's ok to date someone u don't love ig. i mean. I've done it before. you can make yourself like someone after a while. but idk if i.#idk i just. i think im just really scared. and I'll need at least another month or so before anything is back on the table.#it's honestly just me running away from having to deal with sorting out thoughts and feelings πππ which i eventually will have to face ig#but if i do fall in love ik i have it in me to sort those things out quickly i think. if im not too scared to let myself fall.#ig i just have to get more used to ppl being interested in me again ack π it's easy to ignore it when dating someone but. now.#and it was fine in the summer bc i wasn't really around too many ppl my age. but. ugh. unfortunately. i do have. a face and a personality.#delete later
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i watched My Neighbor Totoro for the first time, here's my chronological viewing experience:
woo-hoo! dusty old japanese house with japanese architectural details aplenty
these kids got some ENERGY my goodness
family dynamic's adorable. peak quality dad humor
kids: our house is haunted. parents: that's so cool!
hell yeah, wrinkled old lady rep. we need more friendly old women with potato faces and warts like storybook witches. the backbone of society, these ladies
Plot Summary: Small Child Bothers Local Wildlife
sacred tree sacred tree sacred tree
Introducing Totoro! nobody said this fucker's got TEETH???
Uh-Oh! Inadequate Parental Supervision Detected
(you misplaced your four year old! you're not supposed to do that)
4-year-old: i met a magic forest spirit. dad: oh shit fr?
4-year-old: *angrily hugs sister* missed u bitch
this small child has a smile like a toad. like a really really cute toad. like the cutest toad in all existence. i love her she's perfection please just let this child be happy
rice paddies are so pretty....so back breaking....rice is such a prissy crop
*my crush is stranded in a rainstorm* takethisumbrellait'syoursnowBYE *runs away in panic im so good at flirting*
Giant Chinchilla Learns To Hold Umbrella, Is Fucking Delighted By Experience
take this, it will help you on your quest! *hands u trail mix wrapped in a leaf*
LO-FI HIP HOP STUDY LIST!
crouching down to peer at dirt--A++ top notch foundational childhood experience
mom has a big ass forehead
honey! the chinchillas are performing Rituals in the backyard again
help yeah let's jack and the bean stalk this shit
huh so we're all just climbing aboard the giant chinchilla's tiddies now ok
class trip!
the pure adrenaline of Vegetable Gardening
no! the small child is crying! she is bawling her eyes out. no no no. i can't cope with this. emotionally i cannot cope π₯Ίπ₯Ίπ₯Ί
i've only had Mei one hour but if anything happens to her i will raze this earth and everyone on it
please someone make this small child smile again
oh no the tall child is crying too
i can't take this. my heart can't take this.
i need a drink
small child running determined to deliver magic veggies to the hospital. this kid is my hero
she is also unsupervised. so, so unsupervised
babe you are FOUR
godDAMMIT ghibli, you cannot give me watercolor sunsets while a small child is missing. u are killing me. my heart is giving out. this is me, experiencing heart failure.
Totoro to the rescue!
no wait CATBUS to the rescue!
i admit i initially thought the cat was a creep. alice in wonderland prejudiced me. i have revised my notions of smiling cats
i've decided the cat is a metaphor for the magic of a robust public transport system
MEI'S OKAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!
and so is mom. she's a lovely lady im sorry for what i said about her forehead. it's a noble forehead.
happy ending YES bitch!!!!!!
ok. ok ok ok. that was magical.
(as a first-time adult viewer i was worried i wouldn't be able to Access the Magic. but i could and i did and it was incredible. that was culture. that was ART. joy distilled into animated form. holy rites of childhood. i understand now. how glorious, this world we grow out of. how full of marvels. i'm going outside to smell grass and sun and get dirt under my fingernails. miraculous.)
#mr ghibli please you cannot do this to my heart#totoro#my neighbor totoro#spoilers#?#initially i misspelled Totoro as Tortoro throughout the entire post#i fixed it but dear heavens i was tempted to leave it in. you're WELCOME
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