#ok I’ll shut up I’m just very tired and delirious as usual but more cause I was forced into an early morning

[paperglader]

ok so we have one job this banner and one job only, which is to get jingliu in like 3 pulls, alright? last week i did not play cause ✨academia✨, I spent the last banner getting acheron 3 times and not getting her light cone in spite of endless pulling… I am not willing to spend a single dime, and yet with delusion as my only guide, I believe I can get this done. We have to manifest people. We have to make things happen, ok?

I am getting jingliu early.

I am getting jingliu early.

I am getting jingliu early.

reblog so that we all get jingliu early!!

[vadersmom1]

What, Like it's Hard?

https://archiveofourown.org/works/21599779

“Help me pick out what to wear!” Tony calls Pepper and Jan, vibrating with excitement. “I… I think he’s proposing tonight!”

“Oh my gosh, Tony! I’m on my way!” Jan squeals. “Pepper, be ready in two minutes!”

They spend 2 hours picking out the perfect outfit. Ty pulls up. As he gets out, Tony walks out the door. “Hi sweetheart.” Tony kisses him on the cheek.

“Snookums.” 

Once the Bugatti pulls away, Jan squeals, pulling Pepper into a tight hug. “Oh my gosh! I’m soo excited!!!”

Pepper, the more reserved one, smiles brightly. “Why can I see the three exclamation points after that?”

Jan flips her hair. “Skills.”

Tony and Ty enjoy a nice salmon dinner with roasted potatoes and fried calamari. Right before dessert comes out, Ty takes Tony’s hand. “Snooks, can we talk?” 

Excited, Tony nods eagerly. “Sure Ty!”

“Snooks, we have to break up.”

“OF COU- wait, what? Ty? Why?”

“I am transferring to MIT. I’m going to be running Viastone soon, and I need someone serious and useful by my side, not a party animal. I’m sure you see my side.”

“Ty, you can’t be serious. I love you! I thought you were going to propose!” The restaurant grows silent as Tony’s eyes fill with tears. 

“Tony… errr… can we not do this here?” Ty shifts uncomfortably.

“Why? You thought this was a great place to break up, why can’t we talk here?”

Ty signal for the check and quickly pays, pulling Tony out after him. The ride home is uncomfortably silent, but Tony doesn’t trust his voice enough to speak.

Ty gets out to walk him to the door, but Tony hops out. Ty grabs his elbow. “Snookums. You know I still love you. I just can’t be with you.”

Tony ignores him as he walks into the house. Pepper and Jam are still here! Jan has a bottle of champagne to open, but seeing his face, she sets it on the table and wraps him in a hug. “Oh baby. What happened?”

“H-he broke up with me!” Tony sobs. “He s-says he needs someone useful and serious.” 

“He’s neither useful nor serious. He’s wrong, Tones. He’s a jerk. Take his words with a grain of salt.” 

Tony wipes his eyes. “No. He’s right. He has to run a business after his dad dies. He doesn’t need someone like me causing more problems from bad press. So I’m not going to do that anymore. I’m going to serious up. I’m going to transfer to MIT.”

“Tony, you don’t have to prove anything to him.” 

“I don’t,  but I want to be with him. He loves me, you know. He’s just making the best choice for himself. But if he sees I can be serious and useful, he'll take me back.” 

+++++++++

Howard Stark laughs when Tony tells him he is planning on transferring to MIT. “You think you'll get in? Hilarious.” 

Undeterred, Tony makes a call to the Dean, who advises he should send over his information as they may have a few openings. 

After a few weeks of held breath, Tony gets a letter with his transferal acceptance. Jan and Pepper are happy for him, but they think he’s making a mistake.

He flies to Massachusetts, deliriously happy. 

Checking into MIT, he learns he has a roommate – one James Rhodes. Rhodes is in Philadelphia on break so he wouldn’t meet him for another week or so, so Tony sets up his stuff in the room. Tomorrow’s the first day of class! He memorizes the schedule and hall map. Everything is falling into place. Now, to find Ty… Tony drifts off to sleep dreaming about the next day.

Heading down the hall for Lecture Hall 3C, Tony runs into Ty. “Hi Ty!” He says brightly.

Ty almost trips over himself. “Tony? What are doing here?”

“I got into MIT. I’m going to show you I can be serious and helpful in…”

“Ahem.” A beautiful woman cuts Tony off, wrapping her arm around Ty’s back. “Hi love.” She addresses Ty. “Who’s this?”

“Snookums, meet Tony. Tony, this is my girlfriend, Rumiko Fujikawa.”

Snookums?? That was Ty's pet name for TONY! He smiles through the pain. “Nice to meet you. I was heading to class.” He straightens his back and walks past them. 

The first week of class,  Tony is depressed. He knows his stuff, but he's just not into it. Ty moved on,  apparently. Nevertheless, Tony presses on. One little thing won’t bring him down when he is determined. 

He stops past a parts store after class and chats with the man behind the counter. A young army vet who lost his arm in Afghanistan, the man could seem to overly threatening to some, but Tony’s sunny personality wins him over.

Tony buys a few new parts for a project while they talk. The door opens and the man stands ramrod straight. It’s just the delivery guy. “What’s up, buttercup?”

James, the vet, grumbles. “Nothing. Pigeon.”

Tony must look so confused because the delivery guy laughs. “He’s just mad because I was Air Force, and he was Army.” 

“I see.” 

“Sign here and I’ll be out of your hair.”

James signs while saying, “Screw you.” After the delivery guy leaves, he releases his tension. “That’s Sam.”

“He’s cute.” Tony grins.

“Shaddup. Is that everything?” James shoots back good-naturedly.

+++++++++

James Rhodes is tired. His flight was delayed and the cab he took got stuck in traffic. Upon arriving, the dean tells him he has a roommate, some rich transfer kid from UCLA. Daddy probably paid his way on his whim. He knows he shouldn’t judge, but he had to work hard to get a scholarship here, and there’s just so many people who waste it. 

Rhodes unlocks the door to his dorm. There’s… machinery… everywhere. This new kid’s a mess. He groans internally. Bewildered, he looks around searching for… where’s my charger? He finds it on the other side of the room from where he had left it. He quickly unpacks and settles into bed. When he wakes up and goes to class the next morning, he realizes he hasn’t seen his new roommate yet. Oh well. Not his problem. He might be better off not ever seeing him.

Engineering class is definitely his favorite even though Professor Ross is a jerk. A little bit racist, VERY homophobic, and with a power complex, it is very hard to get anywhere with him. His TA, Bruce, is a very mild-mannered man. How he puts up with Ross all the time is beyond Rhodes. 

When he gets to the classroom, there’s a boy in his usual seat. Wow, he is adorable – his glasses are almost bigger than his face! However, he’s in Rhodes' seat. “Excuse me? This is my seat.” He stands beside his desk. The boy looks up with big doe eyes.

“I sat here all week, and you weren’t here. It doesn’t seem like your seat to me.” He replies. 

Rhodes wants to yell and scream, but he’s better than that. He simply just sighs and finds a new seat, one with a much worse view of the board, but, hey, a great view of the new guy!

Ross walks in and asks a question. Rhodes raises his hand and answers. The new guy scoffs. “Are you kidding? That’s not true.” Of course, Ross asks for his opinion. The new guy goes on a long spiel of the ways Rhodes was wrong. The funny thing about this was, he had basically recited the chapter. This new guy just told the book it was wrong! And his points were accurate! Who is this guy? Rhodes is caught between admiring the guy and hating his guts. 

Class goes on the same way, this new guy and he were arguing back and forth, the rest of the class enjoying the ride. 

The day is over and Tony is tired. He wants to get back to his dorm and work on BUTTERFINGERS a little more. He also has to finish JARVIS' code. He hopes he can use that as his project. Oh, his roommate is supposed to be back today! Tony curses himself because he forgot to clean up. He runs the rest of the way to his dorm. Unlocking the door, he finds the cute guy from Engineering sitting at the desk. The guy stands up. “You? Not youhoohoo.” He groans.

Great. Just one letdown after another. Tony smiles. “I’m sorry. I lost track of time and forgot that you would be back today. I’ll clean up everything. I’m Tony Stark.” He reaches out his hand to shake. 

His roomie warily takes it. “James Rhodes.”

“James. Aw, there’s already another James here. Can I call you Rhodey? I’m calling you Rhodey. What are your classes? Mine are…” He rattles off all his classes. He knows he's rambling but he can’t seem to stop.

+++++++++++++

Does this guy ever shut up? Rhodes thinks. And he thinks he can just call me Rhodey because he knows another James.

He ignores Tony for the first couple weeks, only talking to him when needed. Rhodey starts to notice a few things about the guy, though. He rarely sleeps, he doesn’t eat enough, he talks to himself, and he loves to build things. 

One night, he overhears Tony talking to “Pepper?” – probably another nickname.“Pep. It’s not doing too great. Ty, he doesn’t talk to me. He’s got this Rumiko chick with him at all times, and she scares the crap out of me. I don’t know, I just thought he’d still want me if I went to this school, too. And I paid attention in school and tried.” His voice cracks. “Uh huh. Mmhmm. Yea, I know Pep.” He sniffs. “I miss you guys so much! Yea. There’s a few people. Steve and Nat are great. Yea, there’s a guy at the parts shop. I think, yea that’s James, I think he’s in love with the UPS guy. I’m gonna set that up. Oh Rhodey?” Rhodes stretches his ears to listen as Tony’s voice drops. “I don’t know if he’s here or not. I think he’s really cool! He’s an engineer and in the ROTC program. I don’t think he likes me much though. He won’t talk to me. Maybe I should stop talking so much. Pep, I know. But just because you like me like this doesn’t mean most people do. Ok, thanks Pep. I love you too. Tell Wasp I said hi and that she better call when she has a chance. I already left 4 voicemails.” 

He walks out of his room to see Rhodes at the table. “Oh, hi.” He fumbles with his phone. “How-how long where you out here?”

“Just came in.” Rhodes lies to see Tony’s reaction. 

He visibly relaxes. “Oh ok. You just… startled me.”

Rhodes tries to be nice to Tony after hearing this. He will make dinner and give Tony a plate when he’s on a work binge and forgets to eat. They throw ideas off of each other when experimenting for Engineering. Tony tells him about Pepper and Jan (Wasp) from Malibu. He tells him about Ty, and Rumiko, and even about James and Sam. Rhodey gets used to his nickname and end up telling Tony about his family in Philadelphia. 

Tony is very tactile. He loves so much, even if the person doesn’t love him back. Rhodey can’t believe he disliked the guy in the first place. One night in January, a blizzard held them inside their dorm. They marathoned all the Star Wars movies. Tony loves Luke while Rhodey is a huge Anakin fan. When Tony cuddles up to him, he glances timidly at Rhodey. Rhodey doesn’t react-it just feels right. Oops… he’s falling for Tony… and hard.

+++++++++++++

Rhodey’s actually being nice to him now! Tony is happy. They worked on BUTTERFINGERS together. Rhodey is great cook – his mom, too. Tony’s had many cookies that she sent up. He’s Tony’s best friend at MIT.

Tony has made several other friends. Natasha is a drama student, Steve’s in for art. Bruce, Ross's TA, is someone who can keep up with Tony’s racing brain. He’s actually interested in Tony’s project. 

James Barnes, the parts store worker, is a hoot. Tony feels bad for him, though. He was in a bad relationship that totally screwed him over, and he can’t do anything about it. Now, he really likes Sam, but he doesn’t know how to approach him. He also is convinced no one could love him (compliments of his ex) so he will not ask Sam out. Tony is determined to set them up.

James-“My name's Bucky, kid.”-'s ex is a rich man on the good side of town. Tony wants to get back at him for Bucky. Against Bucky’s knowledge, he sends a package to this Alexander Pierce. One that’s rigged to blow when opened. Two days later, when Tony is in the shop, the man comes in, furious… and with no eyebrows. 

“Barnes! I am going to kill you! I have a date tonight with a hot heiress, and you ruined it!”

Doing his best to keep from laughing, Bucky says. “Alex. I have no idea what you're talking about. What happened?”

“You know.”

“Don’t you think that if I wanted to get back at you, I’d have done it 6 months ago? I’m over it and you.”

“You’re going to regret this.” Pierce storms out of the shop. Tony bursts out laughing.

Bucky falls off his chair. “That’s freakin hilarious, but who would’ve done that?” 

“Twould be me.” Tony raises his hand. 

“I can’t believe you! Why would you…?”

“To show you he’s a big bowl of jerk. And you should not worry about what he says.” 

Bucky gives him a side hug. “You’re alright, ya know?”

Sam walks in with a package. “What’s so funny?”

“We-ahh- well, it’s none of your business!” Bucky yells, turning to Tony and cringing so Sam couldn’t see him.

“Ok… sorry I asked.” Sam grins.

“No, it’s ok. I just sent a little bomb to his ex. It was hilarious and well-deserved. He just came in spluttering like a walrus.” Tony says easily.

“Non-lethal?”

“Nope. It killed him. Deserved it. He was a jerk to our dear Buck.”

“Ok. Deserved indeed. Bucky doesn’t need jerks.” Tony can SEE the hearts in his eyes. This needs to happen.

Sam leaves and Bucky sighs. “ I am in love with him. But he’s way out of my league.”

“Lies. You just need to catch his attention. Skinny jeans - put those thighs and that butt to good use. Wear a man-bun to show those cheekbones. Bucky, you’re HOT.” Bucky blushes but follows his advice.

++++++++++++++

Bruce asks a few of the top Engineering students to join a special club headed by Ross and himself. Tony, Rhodey, Ty, and Rumiko are all members. They have to create something to present at a science fair. 

Ross is demanding and demeaning. Nothing Tony or Rumiko says goes at all. She stops past Tony’s dorm one night. “Hi. Can I come in?”

Good thing Rhodey’s not here. He’d say no. “Yea sure! We only have one couch, though.”

Rumiko sits down, and they sit awkwardly in silence. “You know, Ross doesn’t like us.”

“Yea, I’m gay and you’re female.” Tony replies.

BUTTERFINGERS rolls up, beeping happily. Rumiko smiles. “Oh my gosh! It’s so cute! A robot.”

“Yea his name's BUTTERFINGERS. I think he likes you. Here.” He hands her a ball. “Throw it. He loves fetch.” 

When she leaves, Rumiko touches his arm. “I’m sorry I was such a crappy person. Can we be friends?” 

“Sure! See you in class tomorrow?”

Rhodey is skeptical when Tony tells him. “She’s probably just using you.”

“I want to give her a chance.” He says brightly.

Class is the same the next day, but Tony brings in plans. He’s going to miniaturize the arc reactor. Ross laughs at him, but Bruce looks at the plans and believes it’s possible. This is what they’re going to do for the science fair, and if it works, Tony will go places. Ross starts taking his advice over Ty’s. He sounds like he respects his decisions. 

After two months, Tony finishes the final touches. The device starts to glow with energy. It powers all the lights in the room. It’s finally ready for the science fair. 

+++++++++++

Ross calls Tony into his office one day. “You know, if all goes well, I may ask you to lead a group I run with me. We tour the country teaching science to groups.”

Tony is interested in this so he sits to talk more. Ross stands up to pour them glasses of Scotch. “You know, you’re VERY attractive for a man.” He runs his index finger and thumb over Tony’s beard and cheekbone. 

“What are you doing?” Tony leans away.

“Oh, come on. You’re a party boy from LA. You’re as easy as they come. Do you really think you’re smart enough to be in this club?” Tony jumps up, disgusted, and runs out of the room.

He finds Rhodey in the dorm. Crying, he tells Rhodey what happened. Rhodey is furious. “You need to report him. You are the reason we’re still IN this competition.”

There’s a knock at the door. It’s Rumiko. “I thought we were both discriminated against! We were both trying our hardest to get in this! And you have to go and screw the teacher.” She accuses.

“Rumi.” “Don’t call me that.” “Rumiko. I didn’t… I didn’t do anything. I should’ve punched him in the face. I ran out instead. I wouldn’t touch that old codger even if it was the only way I could pass.”

She looks at him warily. “Then why were you in his office?”

“He offered me a job that I’m definitely NOT going to take now.” Tony fumes. “We can get him unseated. I just need you as my witness. Let’s go to the Dean.”

Ross is fired, and Bruce takes his place. Tony’s team wins the science fair. Ty comes over after the fair and asks to talk. “Tones. I made a huge mistake. I didn’t think you could be serious, but I was wrong. I dumped Rumi. Will you take me back? I’m on my knees.” 

“Ty. You know I came all this way for you, but I realize now that it wasn’t for you. It was for me to see that I don’t need or want you. I made so many friends here that I don’t regret coming, but I’m done chasing after you. Bye.”

+++++++++

Rhodey can’t believe his ears. Ty is asking Tony to come back! After all that! He can’t hear what Tony said, but he hopes he rejects him. Rhodey will not be able to bear the pain of seeing Tony with Ty. Tony walks back in the room, and Rhodey asks. “What did he want?”

“To get back together.”

“And?”

“Are you kidding me? The guy’s an idiot. Never gonna happen again. Thank you Rhodey.”

“For what? I didn’t do anything.” 

Tony hugs him. “You made me realize that I can do so much better than him. I love you Rhodey.”

Does that mean…? “I love you, too, Tones.” A moment of crackling charged air. Rhodey leans down and kisses Tony, who surges up to kiss him back. They take it to Rhodey’s room so BUTTERFINGERS can’t watch. It would feel weird if he could.

++++++++++++

“He told you he dumped me? I dumped HIS butt. Figures. I don’t know what I saw in him. And you KNOW his dad paid his way.” Rumiko rants. 

Tony cuddles up to Rhodey and laughs. “I thought as much. I’m glad you saw the light like me. I’m going to introduce you to my friends, Pepper and Jan. You’d love them.” 

Bucky and Sam visit a few days later. “I followed your advice. He definitely noticed.” Bucky rambles. “I want to thank you for all your help and for listening to my rants. You helped me see that I am capable of being loved.” 

When they all leave, Tony hears JARVIS' disembodied voice. “They all love you, Sir. I am very happy to know you.”

Tony used love and happiness to draw people in and never let them go. 

@rocknrollonthat45

[daysswithyou]

Fallen Chapter 20: Out of my mind

previous / next

Characters: DAY6 Young K x OC (Rachel)

Playlist: Yellow; Coldplay

Author’s note: I’m very sorry that it took me so long to have this chapter out but if you’re still sticking around to see read this story, please know that my thanks come from the bottom of my heart. Updates won’t be regular still because I’ll be travelling but as before, I’ll continue working on it when I can. Once again, thank you for sticking around! TT

------

Younghyun comes over regularly for study sessions with you and Dowoon and whilst you’re still awkward with your “boyfriend”, there was no reason for you to chase him out – can’t – chase him out. You have to settle for a tense atmosphere whenever he’s around but with time, it’s gotten better – at least you can breathe slightly easier now. You talk to him only when necessity requires it, an occasional small lift of the corners of your lips to show him the pretty smile that he misses so much. But it also hurts – because it’s just an inkling of what you used to give him – and his heart yearns for more. The solution to all your problems with him should have been simple – just talk to him. Clear the air. Trash things out. Do what normal couples do. Communicate.

But both of you were never a normal couple to begin with – the thought still pricks your heart sometimes when you think about it – and at times, it was hard to know when it’s alright to cross to line. Would it be weird to ask him about that traumatic night? Were you allowed to? Were you ready to hear the answer to the question? These thoughts ran at a million miles in your head and there was no way to silence them.

For Younghyun, the situation was excruciating for him as well. He had things that he wanted to say to you, and you knew it. Both of you were just sitting around for the other to break the silence and start the conversation but it was much easier said than done. It was only during the most fragile moments of vulnerability that the masks slipped, and the inhibitions melted away.

---

The sound of the wind chimes doesn’t catch your attention anymore, you're used to the door at this time on a Saturday morning. What you're not used to it the sound of one pair of footsteps only. You meet his eyes immediately when you turn around to face him, scalding your tongue on your hot tea accidentally when you realize that it's Younghyun instead of Dowoon.

"May I?" He gestures to the level above, and you nod your head. He walks away but you stop him before he gets too far away. You'd forgotten to ask the most important question.

"Do you need a drink?" He smiles softly at your statement.

"The usual."

You nod in understanding, hands going back to make the familiar drink that you knew so well. Making it was like second nature by now, you didn't even need to think. Your hand just moves on auto-pilot by themselves. Carrying both drinks up the stairs, you placed the cups down quietly before assuming your seat right next to him.

"Dowoonie?" You asked, with the softest voice Younghyun has ever heard.

"Hospital. He might have stretched his ligament a little too much yesterday. Capt and Pil are with him now to get it checked."

You hum in understanding, and decided to send Dowoon a get well soon text. Your phone pings just before you set your phone aside, containing a thumbs up gif from Dowoon. You close the message, missing Younghyun's side glance at you. Both of you work in relative silence, the clinking of cups against wood and the occasional question breaking the silence.

"Could you explain this equation to me?"

"I need help with the process of DNA replication, do you have any idea how it's supposed to work?"

Your Biology might not be the best, but it was at least way better than Younghyun's. In between sips of drinks and the conversation arising from the questions, Younghyun's eyelids grow heavy and he slumps his head down on the table, the loud thud catching your attention. You purse your lips and shake your head slightly at his behaviour – still the same Kang Younghyun. Still doing whatever he likes without really being aware of his surroundings. Looking at him sleep, it reminded you that perhaps you needed a break too. Lifting your face towards the ceiling, you're immediately assaulted by the cold blast of air from the air conditioning. You shiver when the icy cold fingers of the frigid air brush past your neck and you immediately lower your face to avoid the dry and cold wind.

He might be cold...

Standing up wordlessly, you trudge to the nearby cabinet to flip through your personal collection of blankets (you always had some of them at the cafe, ready for your usage whenever you were there to study) Walking over with the biggest one you had, you draped the blanket carefully over the sleeping boy, careful to not wake him. Immediately after, you shook your head at your silliness. You knew Kang Younghyun. Once he was out like a light, nothing could wake him up again. There was no need for you to worry about interrupting his sleep. With one last glance at him, you headed down the spiral staircase, leaving the sleeping boy alone.

---

Time must have passed but its meaning was lost on you. Between the pages of Fredrik Backman and his discussion of aging and forgiveness reflected through his compelling characters, your revision was forgotten.

As was the boy that lay peacefully sleeping above.

But you were rudely ripped away from the world of Ove by the sharp screech of the chair right above. You winced at the shrill sound, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion. You attempted to stand to investigate the sound, but you were interrupted by the thundering of footsteps down the spiral staircase, the force causing slightly tremors in the cafe. You watch as Younghyun makes his way down the stairs, chanting something under his breath but you can't make it out. He's frantic, almost delirious. You had to snap him out of it.

"Younghyun." That was all it took for him to snap his head to stare at you dead in the eyes.

It's that look. It's that look again.

Your blood runs cold when you think back to that fateful night. It's like you were looking at that Kang Younghyun again. The one who came knocking on your door at the dead of the night, completely dishevelled, wearing the same crazed look in his eyes. Yet, just like before, your presence was the simple remedy to this. The moment he laid his eyes on you, the alarm in his eyes dimmed and his breathing immediately slowed, his shoulders drooping as he collapsed into himself. You were here. Here with him. That's all that matters. You slowly sit back down as Younghyun shuffles to approach you, and you eye him the entire way. He towers over you as he comes to a stop right in front of you and you have to crane your neck to look at him, anticipating his next move.

"Can I sleep here?"

You nod, shifting to the side to give him more space on the sofa. You didn't have the heart to turn him away, he looked like he needed some human company. You thought that when he said sleep, he meant sleeping by your side, not on you. You bite back a small yelp when you feel the heavy weight of his head on your thighs, your skin feeling ticklish due to his short hair bristling against them. You stare down at Younghyun with wide eyes, expecting him to get the hint and move. Yet, he remained unfazed, staring right into your wide eyes with his fox-like eyes. Next, in a voice that was as soft as the flowing wind, he asked, “Can you sing me to sleep?”

“Are you sure? I can’t sing.”

“It’s… It’s fine. Please just sing me to sleep.”

“Why…? Younghyun, really, I can’t sing. You don’t want me to sing.”

“Please. I just need to hear your voice.” Throughout the entire conversation, his earnest eyes never leave yours, practically begging you to do as he says. What happens next is exactly as you expected it to.

“Ok. Then just close your eyes and focus on my voice.” You hurry to add in the next line before you start.

“But just this once! Never again.”

“Ok. Just this once.” Younghyun flashes you a wry smile before the lights dim from his eyes, his eyelids slowly fluttering shut as you start.  You sing the first song on your mind – the one that reminded you of him.

Look at the stars,

Look how they shine for you,

And everything you do,

Yea, they were all yellow.

With Kang Younghyun, time seems to hold no meaning anymore. You sing till you’re slightly hoarse, moving from song to song naturally without much pause between. As the last note leaves your mouth, you close your parched lips, the itchiness in your throat a reminder that you should get water – but – you didn’t have the heart to wake Younghyun up. Not when he was sleeping so peacefully. You didn’t get much moments like this with him – quiet, serene and tranquil. He looked so peaceful, and you wanted to memorise every bit of this moment; his features.

Carding your fingers through his hair softly, you rolled the tips of his hair slightly between your fingers, noting how it’s getting longer. It gave him a manlier look; the messy cut from before gave him a boyish, almost impish look. You let your eyes trace over his features slowly, noticing the way he no longer frowns in his sleep, the way his facial muscles no longer tense. You first notice the eyebags under his eyes. He’s probably tired from all the consecutive games played and lacking sleep, yet he still dedicates time to his studies. His crooked nose comes into view, and you lift a hand to your lips to muffle the sound of your laughter as you recall the time where he animated how he broke his nose as a child to you, the outcome of speeding with a bicycle and colliding into a tree. Eyes wandering further down, you spot the purple peeking from beneath his shirt, evidence of a bruise and his unwavering dedication to the game, never giving up even when he got injured. Lastly, your eyes land on his lips – and a thousand memories come flooding back. The same lips that argued with you were also the same lips that comforted you, the same lips that made you frustrated were also the same lips that made you smile. They were the very same lips that captured yours in a kiss, leaving you breathless from the different emotions felt. Is this what loving someone feels like? Is this love?

You shake your head in resignation at your own musing, not really having an answer to your own question but knowing one thing at least: Despite all the confusion and pain, you still care for Younghyun. A lot.

Craning your head down, you press a soft kiss to his forehead, hoping that the sincerity of the action will reach him when the words are hard to say. When you pull back, your breath catches in your throat because you’ve been caught in the act. You stare back at his open eyes like a deer caught in headlights – unable to move, not wanting to move. His eyes flick to your lips and you know what he’s thinking – and you know that you’re thinking the same thing too. Fuck it. Since I’m already caught in the act, I might as well go all in.

“Kiss me.”

Younghyun doesn’t need to be told twice before he’s rising from your lap to push you against the banister behind you. He presses so close against you that your chests brush against one another with each inhale, his hands holding you in place to stop you moving. It’s irrational but he’s scared that you’ll run away, scared that you’ll slip through his fingers and disappear forever – because that was what it felt like for the past few weeks when he couldn’t have you close, it’s like you were gone from his life, and he hated that feeling. Like a drowning man that finally got his first gasp of air, Younghyun takes in as much as he can – lips savouring every inch of your sweet lips, legs tangling with yours as his hands begin to roam around your body. The world narrows down to just you and him, and all you can register is him – the feeling of his body pressed against yours, the feel of his skin burning underneath your fingertips and his lips that nip, suck and bite your own.

The sound of the front door slamming shut has both of you jumping away from one another instantly, as if someone had scalded the both of you. You sneaked a peek over Younghyun’s shoulder and you spot Dowoon’s figure by the doorway, eyes fixated on both of you. Your entire body burns at the thought of him catching both of you in the act – you’re not sure how long he’s been standing there or how much he has seen but one thing is sure – he definitely knows what went down. The messy clothes, ragged breathing and red lips? Yea, they’re unmistakable.

“Oh Dowoon-ah, you’re here.” Younghyun shifts further away from you to put distance between the both of you as he acknowledges the younger. Visibly awkward upon having walked upon such an intimate scene, Dowoon lets out something between a grunt and a mumble of acknowledgement as he eyes shift left and right, not sure what to do in that situation. Even though Dowoon stands at a distance and refuses to meet your eyes, you can see his lips twist into a grimace and his eyebrows drawing towards the centre – he’s visibly uncomfortable at the sight; maybe slight annoyed but… why? Your thoughts are broken by Younghyun’s announcement that he’s going to use the washroom and he flashes past your periphery before he’s gone again. Once Younghyun is out of earshot, Dowoon marches over with a determined look on his face – you’ve never seen this facial expression before and it has fear lodging itself into your heart. It’s a mixture of mild regret, fear and determination – almost like he’s going to reveal an earth-shattering secret.

“Can I talk to you?”