#ok I know the question is specific but that answer is still bonkers

[madrigaljail]

Throwback to that time Jared's Q&A's lost all credibility for me.

[bambi-kinos]

A few more questions about our mysterious Paul, or more like his mind and his views. I know you get many asks and if you already answered this, just post a link (You might even be Paul j/k )but I do enjoy reading your thoughts) Ok so what do you think he means when he talks about John and their relationship was like. When he says things like he's so obviously straight because of all the girls he's had, John wasn't gay, or that if he was a girl maybe he could go out and do something about John being with Yoko, "in bed" etc. Or John. (Don't think he had lots of gay phobia too despite what "they" seem to think now. Or what George, Ringo or any one of his age would think about it. Obviously Paul and John too Don't seem too clear what they where. Still never really heard anyone else talk the way they do about partnership if there wasn't some love happening. Also did Liverpool men that time really lived that tough, not hugging each other. Wasn't it a bit known for a gay town? Or is that maybe later) sorry for spellings and grammar typing stuff my phone isn't used to. Lol Hope you understand my ask. Love your posts.

I'm given to understand that men from the Northern half of the UK are actually very affectionate with each other. Lots of back slapping and chuffing and affectionate punching and so forth. @scurator has talked about it a bit and is a better source than I could ever be. But the evidence points towards Northern men actually being very chummy and expressive with each other, especially Liverpool. Sailors are passionate by definition, of course the quintessential international sailors' town will be like that too. It is Paul's specific personality defects that have him saying bonkers shit like "we didn't show each other physical affection" while there are photographs of Paul and John pressing together, bumping shoulders, clapping each other on the back, etc. Which are all typical guy-things that men do to signal "I care about you, you're important to me" to each other. Paul would lose nothing by admitting this when the evidence is clear in front of our eyes. But Paul is Paul, so he can't.

When it comes to Liverpool being a "gay town" what that really means is that Liverpool is a port city with a high population of sailors. Houston Texas, where I grew up, is the exact same way. It's a hive of international traffic with thousands of dock workers and sailors running the joint. Sometimes I used to go down to the port to watch them load and unload shipping containers. There are look outs where you can sit with a pair of binoculars and just watch them go. Liverpool has the same set up with the same population of international sailors running around. It isn't necessarily a "gay town" so much as it is a horny as fuck town that is exploding with vibrant international populations all with different ideas about what is sexually permissible and what is not. Lots of sexual openness and promiscuity that is out of step with the rest of the country, vibrant LGBT+ population despite the curtain of conservatism that strangles the rest of the region, very intense artsy culture that lives cheek to jowl with a macho blue collar population...

Now am I talking about Liverpool or Houston? Lmao. Let me put it this way, sailors will fuck anything that stands still long enough and that culture of sexual adventurousness rubs off on the people who build their lives around the international port industry. Paul and John grew up with that too. And if you're thinking that might screw with your head a little when you grow up being filled with all sorts of malicious lies about sex and relationships...oh boy does it.

When it comes to Paul insisting on heterosexuality regarding him and John: IMO this is a manifestation of his greatest fear, that someone may catch on that he fell in love with another man. I don't think Paul was ever truly ashamed of it when push came to shove but that doesn't mean he wants people to know. It's private and Paul doesn't have a lot of privacy left.

Paul is also sharply aware of how dangerous it is to be gay. Paul knew about men being killed for homosexual activity, he was raised to despise it, he was raised to think there was no future in it, that only monsters and predators were homosexuals, all of that was browbeaten into him by Le Society and most likely his family. Remember that Brian Epstein would regularly get the shit kicked out of him if he propositioned the wrong man and sometimes even the right one. Paul wasn't encouraged to embrace Liverpool's seedy underbelly, that would be lunacy. As far as Paul's family knows he did the proper thing and got a girl pregnant out of wedlock (which must have been a big relief to them.) If he ever indicated that he had romantic feelings towards John then he would be lucky if the worst thing that happened to him was getting kicked out.

(That does not necessarily mean that was the reality of his situation. It's hard to know what Jim would do in that situation and I don't think he was blind. But that was what Paul and John were both raised to expect and that is the soup they boiled in while waiting for adulthood.)

And there are bigger things than just Paul and John's privacy and sexuality going on. There are trillions of dollars at stake when it comes to The Beatles.

So when Paul is professing his heterosexuality, when he's saying John wasn't a homosexual, when Paul leans on his experiences with women in interviews, that is what he is thinking of when he does it. Regardless of whatever actually went down between him and John, he has to protect that image while still projecting authenticity. It doesn't matter if it's actually real because John and Paul learned no one wants the real John and Paul. But he can still use his experiences to color his stories and protect John and himself, as well as the legacy of The Beatles.

And it should end there. Yeah?

Of course it doesn't. Or we wouldn't be here. Paul said bonkers shit about being a woman who could have stepped in between John and Yoko. That he was jealous of her and didn't like having her around. That it was a deep relationship with a lot of heat. That they went through a divorce. And then he eventually caved and start talking about how there was a deeper love between him and John, something neither of them had the understanding or vocabulary to express.

Even in death John has the power to undo Paul completely and force him to be vulnerable. Paul gets going out of nowhere it seems like, starts ranting and has to actively fight himself to make himself shut up. Now that he's older he can't really do that anymore. And probably doesn't want to, hence he randomly inserts anecdotes about John into conversations that have nothing to do with him. John has that effect on everyone he meets, he can demand total honesty from people. Paul isn't immune to that. So Paul will talk more and more honestly about himself and John, that they loved each other. And even if all he owns up to is the platonic aspect of it...well, that's a big deal for Paul.

It's hard to say if things will stay this way. Paul often seems like he's on the verge of saying something, isn't he? In the most recent documentary about the first Ed Sullivan appearance, he underlined John and George being his brothers and that he loved them. But that wasn't what he was saying when Now and Then came out and that wasn't what he showed us when he released Eye of the Storm and printed photos of John undressed and preparing for bed while Paul took photos of him. (Probably while Paul was naked in a bathtub if the cloth fringe over his camera lens was any indication.) Do you remember the furor around Now and Then and how the entire rock journalism industry seemed to be holding its breath for something? There's a reason why @frodolives made that point about "they're gentrifying McLennon."

Yoko will die sooner than later. Sean recently sold the Dakota condo and probably moved her upstate to that farm she bought in 1979/1980 so she could be in care. The diaries Fred Seaman stole and fenced were only partially recovered and there's online chatter that Paul's allies are safeguarding the remaining diaries and other resources that Fred managed to smuggle out under Yoko's nose. Peter Doggett's book "Prisoner of Love," which contains the unifying theory about WHY John stayed in the Dakota for so long, was spiked after advanced readers' copies started going out.

Something has changed behind the scenes and we're feeling the faintest tremors of it. I'm sure that we're only just getting started with regards to revelations to come.

[doeblossom]

well, now that my mlp question has been answered, what was the episode of mlpfim that stuck with you the most? for me it was most of the season openings/finales and then the want it need it have to have it episode or whatever that one was

bestie you know it's definitely not just one. i get why those stuck with you though! those were definitely bonkers episodes

Obviously, the first two episodes. they're the pilot!

look before you sleep, because for some reason i hyperfixated on the sleep song they made for rarity. it was hilarious and i think about it every time i rewatch the episode

sonic rainboom. i think about the guitar riff when rainbow was close to performing the boom quite a lot. i'll rewatch the episode just to hear it again! it's so awesome and good

season 2 openings, because discord is fun. why didn't he just forcefully discord them all. forever. silly discord

luna eclipsed. i wish we saw more of the bat ponies! also luna's redesign was pretty cool, no matter how much i loved the beta design. just assuming that luna's return left her completely powerless, hence the non-flowy hair and small stature. also holiday interpretations are fun!

sweet and elite, just for the iconic rarity song

hurricane fluttershy, because shes relatable! i was always a little self conscious about my own physical abilities but this episode (and joking around about it) made me feel a lot better

canterlot wedding. cadence my beloved. changelings are so very interesting. i also remember waking up on the couch in my mom's office since they put it on the tv, and my mom joked about mlp being the thing that got me to wake up

crystal empire kinda came out of nowhere but i LOOOOVE the magic implications. i wish they did more with sombra because he seems so interesting as a villain. also i remember being very proud of remembering that the square root of 546 is 23.36664289109

too many pinkie pies; i remember watching this episode the day it aired (it was a reupload on youtube) and my sister and i watched it on our old dinosaur computer, loaded up with good ol' windows 7 and internet explorer

magical mystery cure. i also remember watching this one specifically, sitting in my old bunk bed watching it on my pink disney princess tiara tv and crying at twilight becoming an alicorn because i was so very proud of her (and thought the show was ending)

the season 4 opening, very obviously a huge upgrade in animation. i remember watching leaks of luna's transformation into nightmare moon from a convention and being so excited to see it! im just a big fan of history in shows like this. it gives the world such depth

bats. bats. bats. freaked me the heck out

pinkie's pride because i knew weird al before he showed up on mlp (and always flexed it to my friends in elementary school lol) ALSO i really liked pinkie's lament in it

from whom the sweetie belle toils. ah, siblings. my sister and i never had THESE kinds of issues but i always relate to their sisterly dynamic the most

testing testing 123. probably one of my favorite episodes to rewatch. dash is just neurodivergent!!! it also helped me when i was transitioning from elementary school to junior high (i went to that 6 year college prep school) and the learning curve of "not being as gifted anymore." i still struggle with studying and have not found any great learning methods! well, aside from pretending to be interested, for some reason.

twilight's kingdom. first luna song, AND a laser battle, AND super powerful twilight??? it was pretty awesome. i still want the library back tho pl0x thanks

the cutie map. communism, ok thx byeee. also one of the first villains to be a where's waldo! its fun to look back and spot her and know it WASNT a lazy animators choice

do princesses dream of magic sheep becaues it discusses self harm???? to a target audience of young girls entering a period in their lives where self harm is pretty prominent? man.

rarity investigate is a very fun episode. man i like rarity a lot

scare master validating my fears and acknowledging fluttershy's anxiety around the holiday!! it did a decent job at communicating that what may seem trivial to some is a very real issue for others. i love love love how fluttershy is treated in this episode; her boundaries are validated and accommodated for. (i dont like that sometimes they portrayed her as a party pooper. however! this is a very real feeling some people have! and i think it would be worse not to include a little bit of tension surrounding it)

a hearth's warming tale stuck with me well and good since im a huge christmas buff. also, more luna songs. luna songs were always huge in the fandom

all bottled up! starlight glimmer, my beloved. bottling up feelings is a pretty real thing for me, and instead of disregarding my emotions, it taught me that its healthy to vent in a consensual environment and tell people they're bugging you if they are.

parental glideance. actually, any episode introducing parents. omg, theyre (mostly) not orphans!

a royal problem. daybreaker is cool and awesome, and the lroe behind what she COULDVE been is amazing, but i miss the days of nightmare star

THE PERFECT PEAR. WAHHHHHH

once upon a zepplin was so real for me. confounded people pleasing leading to you having an awful time and missing out on everything.

sounds of silence, because kirins are so cool and they were a very cool thought but i would like to see them speak more than in one episode please thanks

the beginning of the end p2 with twilight's super awesome speech while fighting sombra. man shes so cool. the hair flip animation was cool. twilight is so cool.

she talks to angel, because ive always very badly wanted to know what the heck is going on in that little bunny's mind. and it was hilarious

AND NOW, A LOVELY COMPILATION OF EVERY EPISODE THAT HAS MADE ME CRY AT LEAST ONCE (the anecdotes of a massive crybaby) ~

Hurricane Fluttershy, S2

A Canterlot Wedding Part 2, S2

The Crystal Empire Part 2, S3

Sleepless in Ponyville, S3

Magical Mystery Cure, S3

Princess Twilight Sparkle Part 2, S4

Pinkie's Pride, S4

Filli Vanilli, S4

From Whom the Sweetie Belle Toils, S4

Testing, Testing, 1, 2, 3, S4

Twilight's Kingdom Part 1, S4

Twilight's Kingdom Part 2, S4

Amending Fences, S5

Do Princesses Dream of Magic Sheep?, S5

The Cutie Re-Mark Part 2, S5

Celestial Advice, S7

The Perfect Pear, S7

Once Upon a Zepplin, S7

The Beginning of the End Part 2, S9

Sparkle's Seven, S9

The Last Laugh, S9

The Last Crusade, S9

The Big Mac Question, S9

The Ending of the End Part 1, S9

The Ending of the End Part 2, S9

The Last Problem, S9

if i gave a tally of how many times certain episodes made me cry we would be here all day

[creaturepower]

HELLO CHERRYif you are ok with answering random questions . what are your favorite things about ninja turtles? it’s not something we’ve ever really been into/are familiar with so we’re curious what you like about it!!! also we like the ninja turtle things you reblog we know nothing about them but they seem like very cool autistic turtle brothers 👍

Oh good question :)

Erm. I'm gonna be honest I'm not sure what it is specifically I like about tmnt. My brain just kind of latched on to it lol. I think the lore is interesting. I also really like how each incarnation manages to make itself distinct while still using elements from past incarnations.

What I really latched on to was the art styles! I think Rise has a really lovely and distinct art style, and I adore that even after experimenting with the 3d animation with tmnt 2012 that they chose to use a 2d animation style, especially since it's sooo distinct and what really makes the show a joy to watch.

And YES they are neurodivergent! Donatello in Rise is SUPER autistic coded and I believe that in tmnt 2012 Raphael directly states he has ADHD. But a lot of them in several incarnations are super ND coded. Mikey in 2012 is bonkers ADHD coded (honestly all the boys in 2012 are autistic/adhd lol). I've not seen 2003 or the older cartoons, but I've watched all the movies and well. They are all ND to me in every incarnation <3

They are all also queer but those are headcanons for another, shorter, post. If you're interested in me continuing to ramble.

[willshaper]

Hi so I’m not really sure how to ask this in a way that doesn’t sound pretty confrontational but I’m genuinely curious. What parts of the Mormon faith do you believe in? Or are you more of a cultural Mormon who’s pretty divorced from the belief system? I want to be clear that I’m not of the habit of challenging/questioning anybody’s religious beliefs, but I think Mormonism occupies a unique historical position that leaves it open to criticism for being pretty solidly grounded in—and irrevocably intertwined with—anti-indigenous racism, American exceptionalism, and historical revisionism. I find it hard to conceptualize a version of that faith that still falls under the Mormon label but somehow isn’t based on those principles.

This is a pretty loaded ask and I understand if you don’t want to/can’t answer (I also know you talk more about your faith on your sideblog but I don’t know what that blog is so I couldn’t go there for more understanding). I’m also aware that those criticisms can be applied to a lot of modern sects of Christianity, so know that I’m critical of those principles wherever they appear. I’m asking you because you’re someone that appears on my dash pretty frequently who I generally vibe with so I want to know more

Ok! So first of all my Mormon sideblog is @im-mormon-and-not-straight! Feel free to scroll through there whenever you feel like.

Second of all, yeah I totally agree that the institutional church kinda sucks in a lot of ways. Now I say that as someone who still participates greatly in the institutionalized church. (I go to church basically every Sunday, I watch general conference every 6th months, stuff like that) And as a gay ass Mormon, I have TONS of first hand experience with being at the brunt of shitty things that it has done.

The claim of anti-indigenous racism is so broad that I'm not quite sure what you are talking about.

If you're talking about violence done by pioneers then I totally agree that was fucked up, though from what I understand of church history (which COULD be wrong I don't have a perfect memory by any means) the leadership of the church at the time condemned that violence. Either way, totally agree that it was shitty! But in my mind those were actions done by shitty people who happened to be mormon, not something they did *because* they were mormon

If you are talking about the book of Mormon being based on indigenous Americans that one can get a lot more complicated. I've heard all sorts of ideas on the subject and honestly I haven't figured out what I agree with the most. Some people have said that the BoM is a work of inspired fiction and the events never happened, but it still has spiritual merit and is worth driving meaning of. I've heard other people say that claiming the BoM is fiction erases indigenous history (?) and we shouldn't be completely writing off any historical value. I find myself somewhere in the middle. I don't know whether or not the events in the BoM actually happened and honestly I don't particularly care. I can still learn from what's in it and I take the themes as they are.

I TOTALLY agree with the American exceptionalism point and it drives me bonkers. There's the tidbits of American religious freedom giving the restored gospel a place to flourish that I can jive with but when people go beyond that it makes me just. So frustrated. Everytime oaks gives a talk about how cool and nifty the constitution is I want to rip my eyes out. (Also every time oaks gives a talk ever. I have hated almost every single talk that man has given) it's like they forget that most of early church history everywhere that Mormons went in the us the other americans went "eyyo fuck religious freedom let's burn these people to the ground" (obviously more nuance there but like. The Mormon extermination act HAPPENED. IN the us. It's not like it's some holy institution.) And that's only about shit that affects "Mormons" specifically. (Though of course things like institutionalized racism affect mormons of color. It's just not targeted to every single mormon) American exceptionalism is just another thing that bugs me about the institutionalized church. Like God. Shut up. The USA is not inherently better or worse than any other country.

The historical revisionism thing is something I'm not as well versed on and I don't even know where to begin with what you mean by that. I do know a Mormon historian (as in a historian who works on Mormon history as well as being Mormon himself) and he is dedicated to cataloguing history as it is? Idk maybe I'm missing smth with this one.

Third of all, I consider myself Mormon in both the religious sense and the cultural sense. Being a queer Mormon is something very central to who I am as a person. However there was a point where I was VERY divorced from the church. I was only going because it was what I did and what was expected of me. And to be honest, I found my testimony through my queer identity.

Now, atleast for me, being a queer Mormon is predicated on the belief that the institutionalized church can, and is, wrong about many things. And this is something backed up by doctrine (that people don't talk about enough -_-) we believe in revelation!! That means we don't have all the answers!!! It frustrated me that people act as if the prophets are somehow unable to fuck up as if Joseph Smith himself didn't majorly fuck up while translating the BoM leading to loosing an entire book of the BoM.

Anyways that was a little bit of a tangent.

What I mean to say is that I am someone who calls out bullshit from the prophets and first presidency and I have made the gospel my own. It's hard to put this into words (I've tried several times already and none of them feel quite right) but the foundation of my testimony came from being able to see the good nuggets of the gospel. I wouldn't have a testimony in the gospel if I wasn't able to sort through the bullshit because if I didn't see the good then I would've moved on.

Basically I was well aware of the bad shit before finding the good shit if that makes any sense.

Like. the amount of times I've had a "don't be gay" lesson or had to listen to oaks give a talk that made me want to march up to slc and punch him in the face, or heard someone interpreted scripture in the worst regressive-ass take, it's helped me find a way to move in the opposite direction. Im a firm believer in the phrase "the gospel is true, but not always the church"

Anyways, leading off on to favorite verse!!

2 Nephi 2:25 "Adam fell that men might be; and men are that they might have joy"

[waynedunlaptheorgandonor]

hey so “find me” dropped on premiere and i just watched it, so you know what that means??

it’s review time!

(super rambly as usual) spoilers under the cut

before i say anything, let me say, IT’S FINE, Y’ALL. as predicted. people are gonna be dramatic bc there are daryl/leah scenes, but like...we been knew? and some of them were rly important caryl-wise. (tbh, the episode was kind of boring and just a set-up for other stuff, lmfao)

okay, review:

opening credits, which i think most of us have already seen, were cute. obvi there was some weird tension with daryl that leads to the coming-to-a-head thing at the end, but their banter is still cute af

they went fishing and daryl’s reaction to carol was adorable, and there’s an important parallel later on, so bookmark this

similarly, there’s an important parallel to carol’s “the dead catch up to us eventually”/daryl’s “i ain’t gonna let it”, so bookmark that, too

dog is the instigator for the flashbacks, so if you wanna blame anyone, blame him. he races to the cabin, which for some reason daryl, who spent five years in this forest, seemed surprised to see? didn’t you literally map out that whole area, my dude? whatever

cue flashback!

i might have the scene order mixed up, but i think it starts with daryl being all sad by himself, and then dog as a puppy shows up and he’s like “!!! a dog!!!” which is v cute, and then he runs back off. we don’t meet leah yet

we see carol and daryl having a conversation while standing on opposite sides of a river for no reason except to probably symbolize distance or maybe covid, lol. the conversation basically goes:

carol: things are different

daryl: yeah

carol: how long are you gonna be out here?

daryl: -shrug emoji-

carol: i get why you’re out here, and i’d join you if things weren’t...

daryl: different

carol: yeah

daryl: yeah. anyway, it’s gonna rain, and also i’m having emotions, so ttyl

the end

at some point we see daryl sitting with an extremely unhappy face while it pours rain on him in the dark, and i want that as a reaction gif IMMEDIATELY 

also the rain destroys his “where in the world is rick grimes?” map, which makes him v upset and scream-y, and we get the idea that he might be going a bit bonkers being all alone looking for a dead (or, ig, kidnapped by helicopter) man

in present day carol finds the note, and is like “oh dunk, she lived here??” so she knew about leah, and daryl’s like, “i already told you everything,” and carol’s like, “no you didn’t,” so we go back to flashbacks (but i’m still not sure what parts carol didn’t already know?? whatever, it’s not that important)

i’m just gonna hit the highlights of the flashbacks bc they were not that thrilling:

first time daryl meets leah the dog leads him to her cabin, and leah ties him to a chair and holds a gun to his head being like, “what are you doing on my land?” bc apparently you can claim whole forests during the apocalypse, and daryl says very little, and eventually she lets him go

next time dog finds daryl and he brings her back and leah is like, “the dog likes you” and they’re kinda flirty, and then daryl says very little and leaves

next time daryl is surrounded by walkers and leah shows up and helps and they hide in a tree and are awkwardly close to each other and daryl cannot handle the close physical contact so when the walkers pass he says very little except to tell her to never come back again, lmfao

the next flashback is my favorite bc daryl just fucking

goes to leah’s cabin and throws a fish at the door???

i laughed for ten years

he throws a fucking fish and then stands there for a minute like “is she gonna notice that i gave her a fish??” like, no, dumbass, you didn’t even knock, you just threw a fucking fish at her fucking door, what is wrong with you??

no wonder it’s taken him and carol so long if he thinks throwing fish at people is a smooth move. boy has NO fucking game

anyway, leah gets him back by finding him and throwing the fish at his head, being like, “wtf, don’t throw fish on my porch?” which, fair, leah

IMPORTANT CARYL PARALLEL (from here on out known as “caryllels”) #1: so earlier i mentioned the carol fish thing, and apparently the same thing happened with leah, where she speared a fish on her first try and daryl was like “tf?” v blatant “we are supposed to be thinking about carol and daryl’s relationship during this scene” sort of thing

leah’s backstory is bland. had a family, they got eaten or disappeared or something. she, her adopted son, and dog’s mom got away, but the kid was bit, and died the same day dog was born, bc ig when god closes one door, he replaces your dead son with a puppy, or however the idiom goes

ONLY PART THAT GOT ME LEGIT EMOTIONAL: 

leah asked daryl who he lost, and he says, “my brother”

asklfdjaslfdjskl

god i miss rick

i hated rick for so long and now i miss him so much

but i digress

IMPORTANT CARYLLEL #2: leah and daryl have the same “the dead get you eventually”/”i ain’t gonna let it” conversation as caryl had earlier, only daryl is playing the role of carol in this scenario, so again we’re supposed to be comparing the two relationships. lemme get through the rest of the summary and then i’ll tell you my opinion on what that means

fuck what even happens next?

i have these out of order bc they were all the fucking same, but the two of them get closer, and there is the vaguest suggestion of sex ever. you literally only see daryl’s hand

then jump-cut to them sitting at the table being emo, ig bc daryl was gonna go back to look for rick for a bit, and leah is like “who do you belong with? your brother you won’t stop looking for? your family that you left? [side note: that seemed rather pointed, like, “hey hoe, you abandoned your family, that was kind of a dick move”] or me?” and he says he doesn’t know, and she’s like “yeah you do, now choose”

jump-cut to caryl scene where carol finds him at the river and says that she won’t be visiting as much, and daryl’s like “k” and they have a brief argument where daryl’s all snippy, like, “what? do you want my permission for you to move on with your life? i’m not still emo about the fact that you’re moving on with your life, and i also don’t think it’s contextually significant that every time you show up in my flashbacks you explicitly mention that you’re married and have a kid,” and carol is like, “bro, you need to Get Your Shit Together and come home”

jump-cut to daryl having what i’m assuming is an epiphany that carol/fam have all moved on while he was out being emo, and so he decides to go be with leah, except, plot twist! she’s gone. the picture of her and her son is gone, but dog is still there. daryl leaves the note, which says, “i belong with you, find me”

for those freaking out about the wording about the note, may i remind you that she specifically asked, “do you belong x, x, or with me?” so he was just answering the question

aaaaaand back to present day

carol is like, “what do you think happened to her?” and daryl is all -shrug emoji-, and then she’s like, “...do you think she might have just...you know...left?” and daryl gets rull offended, which was kind of funny

(she probably just left, bud)

carol tells daryl to stop thinking that when people leave it’s bc of him, and connie’s name gets thrown into the mix, and daryl gets a “oh here we fucking go” look on his face, and it sets him off

he said basically what we were already spoiled for. “you just want to run, you don’t know when to stop, i shouldn’t have taken you off the boat bc you still just want to run” etc

and carol looks fucking HEARTBROKEN, which hurt me, and she goes into the other room and we end the episode with daryl staring forlornly out of the window 

the end

okay

so quick analysis

i think the significance of this episode is supposed to be so we have an understanding of why daryl is suddenly so !teamfamily, and !teamfuture, and how badly he wants carol to be there with him. at one point, one of them even says, “this isn’t about leah, or connie,” or anyone but the two of them. the title “find me” feels significant, bc the whole episode is daryl grappling with where he’s supposed to go, and what his purpose is, and by the end, he says to carol, “i know where i belong,” (implying, with her and the fam), pulling us full-circle. in the first flashback onward he is lost, but by the end he is found -cue amazing grace-

daryl and leah were flirty, but to me it felt very much like something that was just being used as daryl character development. we barely got anything that juicy between the two of them (except the fish throwing thing, that was amazing), and i still don’t think that it would make any sense, regardless of the showrunner, to pair daryl up with some rando after having so many other choices that people would have preferred. i don’t think we’re meant to #endgame ship it, so much as we are supposed to be like, “oh, ok, daryl learned the power of family and stability and leveled up, -you know what that is? growth gif-” as a result, i literally have no idea what leah’s role is gonna be in s11, but i don’t think it’ll be a huge plot point

so now we firmly know where daryl stands. he is all about moving forward, not looking back, and doing the best he can, and he’s frustrated bc when he took carol off the boat he wanted her to be in the same place as him so that they could grow together, but she wasn’t and isn’t there yet

so my guess is that what’s next for carol’s storyline is her reaching that same zen-level daryl’s at

once they’re both there, then they get to ride off into the sunset and make passionate love under the moon casting shadows over the vast desert wasteland 

whew

anyway

tl;dr: idk, episode was fine, if not kinda boring. lots of caryllels. can i go back to writing my vietnam war au now? 

the end

(stay hype, stan kang, and get daryl to call carol sweetheart 2k21),

-diz

[dweetwise]

Deathslinger x doctor or deathslinger x oni? Headcanons or fluff for whichever one you choose, I don’t mind :) (happy birthday to your blog!)

oh it’s been a long time since i’ve written sparkslinger! thanks for requesting <3 i made this as a continuation to my previous fic of them, i hope that’s ok!

word count: 1740

Caleb X Herman: Accidental martyr

Since starting his arrangement with Herman, Caleb had to admit that his time in this neverending hell had become a lot more entertaining.

Whether it was getting roped into questionable experiments, late nights drinking cheap whiskey in the saloon, or his own sporadic visits to the old hospital, being around the doctor was a great way to alleviate the boredom between trials.

Unfortunately, that often came at the cost of Caleb’s sanity.

This moment was a prime example of such an occurrence. After Herman had showed up to their latest encounter with a torn jacket and fresh wounds, Caleb was practically forced to play doctor to make sure the man didn't succumb to his injuries.

That didn't mean he had to be nice about it, though.

“Figures ye’d be cocky enough to try to take the bitch out on yer own,” Caleb snarked.

He attempted to clumsily dress one of the numerous gashes marring the doctor’s shoulders; the Entity’s handiwork, no doubt.

“What can I say? I’m a man who likes to push the limits—shit!” Herman hissed out a curse when Caleb tightened the bandage a little too forcefully.

“Don’t do it again,” Caleb growled, masking the uneasy feeling in his chest with anger.

Herman waved off both the threat and concern with a simple "Yes, yes, now get on with it" and Caleb went back to his mediocre job of caring for the wounds.

Since that first night in the saloon, they’d never talked about whatever this was between them. And that suited Caleb just fine; he was a man of few words, and if anything, he should thank his luck that the blabbermouth he kept for company hadn’t deemed it a subject worth discussing.

Apart from a few snide comments of Herman getting his ass kicked by the Entity, Caleb didn’t bring up the incident again.

And he’d probably have forgotten about it completely, if he hadn’t happened to pick up some spare parts from Autohaven a few days later.

“Are you alright?” Philip asked as soon as Caleb arrived at their designated meet-up spot.

“Just dandy,” Caleb drawled, inspecting the Wraith’s latest haul of scrap from the junkyard.

“You don’t have to act tough, Caleb,” Philip insisted, clearly not getting the hint.

Caleb whipped around to give the other killer a properly disgusted look that he hoped conveyed just how little he appreciating being coddled like a damn child.

“It’s okay; we’ve all been there. I understand,” Philip said, giving a look of sympathy that made Caleb’s skin crawl.

“The fuck you on about, boy?” Caleb spat.

“The Entity,” Philip said.

The Wraith flinched at his own words, quickly glancing around to make sure nobody was eavesdropping.

“It… punishes us when we’re not brutal enough or efficient enough,” Philip said, lowering his voice. “And after your leg—there have been rumors, you know.”

Caleb felt the anger bubbling up. Not only did he hate people bringing up his brief time of injury and subsequent uselessness in trials, he also had an inkling of just who had been spreading these specific rumors.

“What kind’a rumors?” Caleb asked.

“You’ve been going to the hospital a lot to treat your wounds,” Philips said. “Herman even had to borrow ointments from Sally, since you’ve been coming in so often.”

Caleb’s eye twitched as he tried to reign his temper. Herman knew damn well that Caleb was insistent on keeping their whatever-it was a secret, yet he seemed to happily gossip to anyone he came across.

“‘Scuse me,” Caleb said. “I’ma need to have a chat with the good doctor.”

When Caleb slammed open the door to Herman’s office, the man didn’t even flinch.

“I’d prefer if you didn’t break my furniture,” the doctor merely offered, not even looking up from his book. “I could hear you stomping here from across the hospital.”

“You,” Caleb snarled, grabbing Herman by the collar. “What did you do?”

“You’ll have to be more specific than that,” Herman said, infuriatingly calm even when face to face with a very dangerous and very angry gunslinger.

“Why does Phil think I’m gettin’ beat up by spider-bitch?” Caleb spat. “Why does Sally know I’ve been comin’ here and you need a bunch’a salve for it?”

“Oh,” Herman said, finally getting his point. “That’s not something you should worry about.”

“Try me,” Caleb snarled, tightening his grip around the man’s jacket collar.

“It might be easier to talk without the strangulation,” Herman countered, his voice strained from the pressure on his neck.

Caleb released his hold but didn’t back off, crowding the man against his office chair.

“Then talk,” Caleb commanded.

“Very well,” Herman said. “As you may or may not know, our Eldritch overlord closely monitors our performance in trials. However, if said performance isn't up to par, it isn’t afraid to take disciplinary measures.”

“So ya didn’t fight it, it fought you? That what yer sayin’?” Caleb asked.

“In a way, I suppose,” Herman said, still annoyingly secretive.

“So what’s that gotta do with me? And stop fuckin’ horseshittin’,” Caleb said.

“Well, in a nutshell,” Herman paused, as considering how to phrase the message simply enough for Caleb to understand. “There was word of the Entity being more agitated than usual. I concluded it was only a matter of time before it chose you as its target, and as a precaution, I deliberately attempted to draw its ire.”

If Caleb was confused before, he was even more so now. The doctor had… volunteered to be the Entity's pincushion? And for what?

“Why?” Caleb asked, hesitantly stepping back from the man and his unknown motives.

“You’re my patient,” Herman simply answered.

“Oh, like these sorry fuckers?” Caleb said, pointing at a human heart sitting neatly in a jar on the desk. “You wanna cut me up yerself, that it?”

“...No.”

“Then what? Ya get off on bein’ tortured?” Caleb prodded, angry at still not getting a real answer. “Well, what is it!?”

“I don’t know!” Herman snapped, slamming the book shut.

It was the first time Caleb had seen the doctor lose his composure, and on reflex he reached for the empty holster on his hip.

“I’ve spent over a decade studying the human psyche, and I don’t know,” Herman said, moving to stand up. “I have no illusions of morality, yet seeing you in agony over your leg—”

“I was fine!” Caleb rebutted.

“The thought of inflicting more pain on you was simply out of the question. So I offered myself up in your stead, until you were recovered. And then I… just kept going.”

“Hold on,” Caleb realized. “You’ve—for all this time!? It’s been, what, months?”

“Fifty-three days, according to my calculations,” Herman said, so matter-of-fact.

“You’re fuckin’ bonkers,” Caleb said. “That shit ends now! ‘M not about to let you deal with my punishment!”

Herman was silent, for once, and Caleb could see his jaw clenching and unclenching. There was a sudden realization that Herman probably felt the same way that Caleb did, a few days ago when he saw the man badly hurt.

Protective.

The anger slowly released from Caleb’s body, and he took a step toward the doctor in a silent peace offering.

“I’ma big boy, doc,” Caleb said. “Been through shit none of yer experiments even come close to. I'm not fuckin' made o’ glass."

"I realize that," Herman said, sighing. "It wasn't my intention to patronize you."

"Pfft, like that ain’t your goal most days," Caleb shot back, the good side of his face drawing into a smirk.

"Well," Herman said with a dry chuckle. "Not in this particular instance."

An apology was left unsaid, but Caleb didn't want one. Still, he kept unwavering eye contact, waiting for a promise that never came.

"And?" Caleb asked when neither of them were budging.

Herman sighed in annoyance, most likely peeved at having been out-stubborned.

"I will make sure it doesn't happen again," Herman reluctantly assured.

"Good," Caleb said, and then inexplicably felt unsure about where that left them. "So, uh… we good, or…?"

Herman smiled. He usually just grinned, or giggled or laughed like a psychopath, but now he looked stupidly handsome with a smile stretching over his lips and making his eyes crinkle at the corners.

"Splendid," Herman said.

Caleb could only withstand another few seconds of looking at the damn smile before his patience ran out.

"Get over here," Caleb said, tugging the doctor closer by his lapels and into a kiss.

They didn't do this often, and feeling the warm, chapped lips against his own, Caleb couldn't help but think what a damn shame it was. After the injury to his jaw that felt like a lifetime ago, Caleb didn't think he'd be doing much kissing for the rest of his days, but Herman never seemed bothered by it.

Large hands settled on his hips and Caleb could feel the dormant energy lying underneath, electricity always at the doctor's fingertips. It was absurd to think that their hands, constantly used for killing and more often than not caked with their victims' blood, could be used to hold each other this gently.

Realizing he was getting alarmingly sappy from nothing more than a kiss, Caleb pulled away from the liplock and reluctantly stepped away from the doctor's embrace. He adjusted his hat in an attempt to hide the reddening of his sickly pale cheeks.

"Alright, now come on," Caleb urged, cocking his head in the direction of the door.

"Are we going somewhere?" Herman asked.

"Yer comin' to Glenvale where I can keep an' eye on ya," Caleb said. "Don't trust ya not to break a promise."

The words came out harsher than he meant to. Luckily, Herman didn’t appear to take it personally, instead going to grab some of his things without any further fuss.

"If you wanted a romantic getaway this badly, you should have just asked," Herman teased.

"Shut up," Caleb said half-assedly.

Watching Herman pocket a jar of an unknown substance, Caleb suddenly remembered something crucial.

"Oh, one more thing," Caleb said.

"I'm all ears.”

“Tell Sally to keep ‘er fuckin’ trap shut,” Caleb snarked.

He received a fit of maniacal giggles in return, and Caleb realized that the sound that once grated on his nerves now brought a sense of belonging.

He still didn't know what this was between them, but he'd be damned if he let it go.

[clayfaced]

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

ily @hopeisthewholepoint i was doing this a while ago and then the draft didn’t save so this is about 30 years late by now whopps. ily thanks for tagging me tho. ❤

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

My girl Edrisa Tanaka from Prodigal Son bc we’re both socially awkward but at least she’s unapologetic about it.��I want to say I have Sam Wilson’s humor and I too do what everyone else does just slower. Raymond Holt because I love fluffy bois and I’m down to fight anyone who says anything bad about my pets. Ben Wyatt because we’re both human disasters and I like making dumb stuff when I’m bored.  

2. Aesthetic

Playing pool terribly with friends, peanut butter and banana sandwiches, colorful rain jackets. Balloons, music playing from car radios, collecting movie ticket stubs. Painted nails, open windows, and fish stamps on postcards. The smell of fresh basil.

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

Come from Away. Hands down. Though I will say I saw recordings of the National Theater’s Frankensteins recently and both are very good but the Miller-as-the-creature version is especially good.

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Okay this is a bit of an unfair question bc I die at any and all compliments. But one that I thought of today /a couple days ago/ a long time ago when i started writing this that made me happy again was when someone I'm in a club with let me borrow his camera to take pictures during a performance. I hadn't taken pictures in a while and I had so much fun and I don't really contribute to the club so I finally felt like I had purpose. It was hard to see how they came out on the camera but the next time I saw him he said they came out really well and someone else said that he's normally picky when it comes to photos but he liked mine so that made me feel even better and it was overall a very nice time. It wasn't even really the compliment (I mean, it still was but) it was also just the gesture to offer a camera when he heard I liked taking pictures. I didn't have my camera with me until after this and it really made me remember how much I liked it. Anyways he graduated and hasn't been in the club since last semester so I never see him but it made me v happy.

5. How many times have you been in love?

Miss me with that romantic love but I fall in love with friends and people and every little thing everyday.

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

Bold of you to assume I've recovered from anything embarrassing ever.

This is a bit of a cheat bc it was always funny but my middle school PE uniforms had words and definitions on the back of the shirts (no i don’t know why) and mine said “final: adj. last in place” or something like that and you know what? it was RIGHT.

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

Probably Up. Idk I don’t really have one.

8. Favorite flower or plant?

Probably triostar plants because they’re cute and pink.

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

Halloween 🎃! I love the idea that kids are going bonkers and getting candy and having a good time. And I love that it gives not-children people a chance to dress up and have fun and take themselves less seriously for a day.

EDIT: NO ONE TOLD ME I MISSED QUESTIONS 10-14. NO ONE LOOK AT THIS .LOOK AWAY. IM FIXING IT. HOW DID I MISS FIVE WHOLE ENTIRE QUESTIONS. SMH.

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

This meme dee just sent me a minute ago. I had a socially-distant dinner with a couple of my friends whomst I love a lot on Saturday and it was very nice to see their beautiful faces in person again and I love them a lot. Time isn’t real I don’t know what happened this week. I set up the Xbox again and I’ve played a little little bit of Assassins Creed (which Im very bad at) and Skyrim (which im only a little bad at) and that’s been fun. Bonus answer of dee, nina, and I have been watching 911: Lone Star together and it’s v v fun.

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

That is way too hard of a question to definitively answer. My music taste varies so wildly and my favorite song is usually the one I've obsessively listened to the last. Using that logic: Bang! by AJR or Wake Me by Bleachers. Or Chris Martin’s cover of Shelter from the Storm by Bob Dylan. Yeah. The last one.

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

Being a passenger in a car with music playing though that doesn’t really happen when I’m stressed. I wouldn’t say peaceful because when I’m not good at that when I’m stressed and most of the time when I’m stressed I have too much stress inside of me so I would rather get it out than be peaceful. So I just put earbuds in and listen to music too loudly so I don’t have to hear anything around me and I can just sort of release all pent up energy with the music and calm down.

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

I’m studying film! I’m technically undeclared but I’m hoping to declare soon. :-). Yes I’m going to be unemployed and leech off of dee for the rest of our lives thanks for asking.

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

Um. Definitely sneakers (by default my white ones because I only have one pair) because I like being able to Move. Same reason for my black pants bc they’re not restricting at all and comfy. And then probably my gray sweatshirt which dee will murder me for saying bc it means I have zero (0) colors in my outfit but it comfy. I like having colors but I feel more comfortable in more neutral colors.

15. What is a quote you live by?

Oof oof I don’t know. I think there are a lot of quotes I want to live by and then I forget about them so if I am living by a specific quote, it’s not consciously. I reblog a lot I like to my words tag or text tag, and this one:

 “‘Do you fall in love often?’ Yes often. With a view, with a book, with a dog, a cat, with numbers, with friends, with complete strangers, with nothing at all.” (Jeanette Winterson)

explains me very well. I don’t know that it’s something I live by because it’s just a state of my existence but it me.

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

I wish I had funnier playlist names. One of them is living room couch alone for a very specific mood when it's after 10 o'clock and everyone else is asleep and I'm in the living room alone on the couch and I'm not tired and time doesn't feel real. It's a good mood. I also have one called new york times which isn't funny I just like it.

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

“you know why we do this?" *snap with one hand* "because we can’t always get our arms free to do this” *dramatic arching snap with both hands* 

But that one’s not with dee ( @mrrmiracle ) so give me one sec to think of something else too. Ok here we go: 

"that Andrew Garfield movie"

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

Stop overthinking and start doing. You can’t sit at home sad your friends aren’t hanging out with you if you never ask them to hang out. Initiate things. Its not as scary as it seems. Also for the love of all things holy please form good habits now. Form all the good habits I have none and I’m tired.

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

um my cats :// im just kidding it’s @mrrmiracle obviously.

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

Um lol to not be alone. To be employed doing something I enjoy and make enough money to support myself. If I put lol will this sound less sad.

I’m tagging @mrrmiracle, @grayson-dick @valleydean and @daredeviil and if anyone else wants to do it just say i tagged you and i’ll edit it to include you 👀. i just get anxious tagging people bc i don’t want to annoy people and i never know who wants to be tagged or not.

[joshwashington]

for the 50 wrestling questions meme: 24, 29, 33, 44, 47, 48, 49 (yes this is basically an excuse for you to talk about kyle and rdgn and ue uwu)

24. Favorite faction?

- this is a predictable bastard loving household and yall KNOW its ue bc they r simply the best tho i also have a fondness for s.c.u.m. ALSO u know ive been dipping into tmdk as much as i can and i do love their lack of braincells. i dont watch v much njpw but i Deeply appreciate Everything about lij.

29. Favorite heel?

- kevin is such a good heel is bonkers. shayna. ue even tho bobby & kyle in particular r also v good faces and i know kyle has said he rlly loves doing face work they r simply bastards whom i adore. real poeseph redragonites-kyleoreillys fans know im putting mr the miz on here too. the revival. saying them again bc im whipped: redragon. shinsuke altho im still mad he didnt win the title from aj bc he still could have turned after the match so!!!!! im starting to like gyv too ill admit it. the bar. i.... guess ill say team ambition for sleazy kyle rights and also simply bc i have feelings abt that arc which r well known by now probably just know that i AM daveyphobic and i DO still think kyle shouldnt have been the heel in the future shock split. ariya funky little gaudy man but please find some better friends (i genuinely miss the tony/drew/ariya power trio of morons who happen to love each other). uhhhhhhhhhmrthornetooiguess. oh and jimmy jacobs. OH AND IO cant believe i almost forgot smh fakeass

33. Biggest missed opportunity for a story line?

- bro beauseph and i didnt go all out with face miz/heel daniel feud concepts for Months for nothing. did those dark matches mean nothing to wwe. see also: survivor series cocaptains; begrudging-alliance-for-mutual-benefit-to-tag-team-partners. im not like keeping up w aew or anything but can i count whatevers going on w hangman for this bc it feels like they shouldve pulled the trigger by now and its not Tension anymore its just getting old. idk im struggling w this one even tho i KNOW theres shit weve talked abt before??

44. Favorite match? 

- kyle vs adam hybrid rules bitw 2012 if yr out there......... steen vs generico final battle 2010 always on the list. kyle vs kushida every match theyve ever had just wuv them. redragon vs cole & strong. kyle vs marty scurll pwg asw uhhhhh 2016?? kyle vs shibata AND bobby vs shibata. redragon/time splitters/forever hooligans/b*cks wk9. every redragon vs time splitters match ive seen so far bc im so fuckign BABY theyre so good. mustafa vs cedric wm34. bianca vs shayna takeover phoenix. shayna/bianca/io/kairi from takeover new york. there r so many im forgetting but i reckon those r my like Go To answers and also the fave matches that ive seen most often or most recently

47. Favorite submission?

- love a dragon sleeper. a good guillotine WILL kick my ass. kirifuda koji & coquina clutches ALL very good. OH cant forget. hoverboard lock.

48. Most entertaining to watch?

- ok well. kyle. hes Always good Always fun Always trying smth new when theres an opportunity even when it nothing like...... dramatic or theatrical or particularly Attention Grabbing? hes SO good idk if i have the vocabulary to say exactly what i mean but ive never once lost interest in a match hes been in even before i went full dummy uwu. also: io, bianca, bobby, kevin, jay lethal, hiromu, kushida, cesaro, naito, naomi

49. Best spot?

- god,,,,, memory bad for specifics on this from Older content. but i hope lince knows im thinking abt his wild man feral cat activities from last night

[archiveacademics]

What about the lawyers?

Fanfic is not just about the fans or the creators of the original works, oh no. There’s a third category of people who care very much about fanfic. Well, when they’re paid to.

Lawyers.

Yeah, ok, this is maybe the least sexy part of fanfic. But it’s an important part too. 

Our buzzwords for the day are fair use, transformative work, and public domain. Oh! And Mickey Mouse.

So what is fair use? The Organization for Transformative Works has a great explanation of what constitutes fair use. 

“The U.S. Copyright Act provides that certain kinds of uses of copyrighted material are fair use, and therefore are not infringing. The law provides examples of the kinds of uses that are likely to be allowed -— such as criticizing or commenting on the underlying work. The law also provides a list of factors to consider in determining whether a particular use is allowed:

the purpose and character of the use, including whether such use is of a commercial nature or is for nonprofit educational purposes;

the nature of the copyrighted work;

the amount and substantiality of the portion used in relation to the copyrighted work as a whole; and

the effect of the use upon the potential market for or value of the copyrighted work.

Courts generally balance all four factors in deciding whether something is fair use — no single factor determines the answer.”

(Emphasis in original)

So what does all that really mean, though? Number one means that works used for education purposes have a really good argument for fair use and anything used for commercial purposes doesn’t. Number two basically means that fictional works tend to be more protected than factual ones. Number three is...honestly I’m still a little unclear the extent of number three. I read an article called “Fan Fiction and the Fair Use Doctrine” that described number three as having “the grayest area of any other factor when applied to fan fiction.” It seems to depend on how much of the original story you use (plot, world, characters) and then whether or not some of those things (characters) are actually copyright (sometimes characters are, sometimes they aren’t.) Finally, number four just measures whether or not the work in question will effect the market for the original work.

One thing that’s become very clear in my research is that the courts tend to take these fanfic copyright infringement cases on a case by case basis. There is no overarching ruling that everyone adheres to. In the infamous words of Justice Potter Stewart, “I shall not today attempt further to define the kinds of material I understand to be embraced within that shorthand description ["fanfic” and “copyright infringement”], and perhaps I could never succeed in intelligibly doing so. But I know it when I see it.” (Wikipedia.com)

Generally, as long as the work itself is not commercial, there’s not a large chance that the author, even if they dislike fanfic*, is going to sue for copyright infringement. 

So where does “transformative work” come into all this?

Fanlore.org, a wiki run by the Organization for Transformative Works, gives a pretty concise definition of “transformative work” and why it’s important. 

“Transformative works are creative works about characters or settings created by fans of the original work, rather than by the original creators. Transformative works include but are not limited to fanfiction, real person fiction, fan vids, and graphics. A transformative use is one that, in the words of the U.S. Supreme Court, adds something new, with a further purpose or different character, altering the [source] with new expression, meaning, or message.“

(Emphasis in original)

So if I’m writing a noncommercial transformative work (for instance the events of Harry Potter from the point of view of a new, background character) then I’m well within the fair use doctrine. I’m (1) using the world of Harry Potter for the noncommercial purpose of entertainment. Harry Potter itself, of course, being (2) a work of fiction. (3) I’m using events from the books but not major characters (as my hypothetical fanfic here is from a background character’s perspective). And at the end of the day (4) there will be little to no effect on J K Rowling’s market. In fact, it might even have the opposite effect, making people want to go read the originals (either again or for the first time). 

So that’s a quick overview of fair use and transformative work from someone who’s not a lawyer (nor even a law student). If you want to hear more from actual lawyers on the topic I have a few options for you to check out.

The Fansplaining podcast had a great episode called “Buncha Lawyers” where they interviewed two lawyers who work with fandom and, more specifically, the Organization for Transformative Works. 

There is also this webcast. Kyle Courtney is a copyright advisor for the Harvard office for scholarly communication. The webcast skips a bit, but it’s fascinating and well worth a listen if you want to learn more.

Last but not least there is a tumblr called FYeahCopyright (run by one of the lawyers from the Fansplaining podcast) that answers questions about fandom, fair use, and copyright that you can check out.

But wait, there’s more!

I still haven’t gotten to public domain, or Mickey Mouse yet. I’ll be quick, I promise.

It wouldn’t be fair, though, to talk about copyright without discussing public domain. Public domain is basically what happens when copyright has expired and the work is open to the public. Fanfic is no longer questionably legal, it’s totally fine! And “as of 2019, copyright has expired for all works published in the United States before 1924. In other words, if the work was published in the U.S. before January 1, 1924, you are free to use it in the U.S. without permission. These rules and dates apply regardless of whether the work was created by an individual author, a group of authors, or an employee (a work made for hire).” (Stanford University Libraries)

“But 1924,” you say, “that can’t be right. That’s so long ago!”

You’re right, imaginary conversant of mine, that is a long time ago. Unfortunately though, it’s not wrong. Copyright law in the US last for just a bonkers long time because of, you guessed it, Mickey Mouse.

The Mouse casts a long shadow and Disney has the money and the lawyers to lobby for longer and longer copyright terms. Twice now, copyright has been extended basically entirely because of Disney. 

“With only 5 years left on Mickey Mouse’s copyright term, Congress again changed the duration with the Sonny Bono Copyright Term Extension Act of 1998.  This legislation lengthens copyrights for works created on or after January 1, 1978, to “life of the author plus 70 years,” and extends copyrights for corporate works to 95 years from the year of first publication, or 120 years from the year of creation, whichever expires first. That pushed Mickey’s copyright protection out to 2023.” (alj.artrepreneur.com)

So Disney’s got at most another three years before we all start writing Mickey Mouse slash fiction**. 

*And oh how some of them do hate fanfic. But that’s a topic for another time.

**If you don’t know what slash is, hang around. I’ll get to that next week.

[avelera]

Hey i love the prisoners dilemma and i was just wondering what your writing process is ( as someone who stuggles to get words on the page)

*falls in a heap* right now anon I’m so behind on TPD that I don’t even know what my process is but first of all, thank you for your kind words. 

OK! But I actually love questions like this so I’m gonna give it a shot (I’m actually very excited, thank you for sending this!)

1) Get an idea. Think the idea is going to be short. It’s not short. I am roundly mocked for my hubris. 

ex 1. the seed idea for “The Only Way Out is Down” was that I wanted to combine Newt’s recovery with Dante’s Inferno (got it literally in the parking lot after seeing Uprising and to this day I don’t know what was up with my brain that day). I figured that would be done in 20k. I wasn’t even through the third circle of Hell (out of 9) in 20k.

ex 2.the seed idea for “How to Accidentally Become a Jaeger Pilot in 10 Easy Steps” was a thought I had while jogging of how funny it would be if Newt and Hermann actually had to do the stick sparring and accidentally became an incredibly effective Jaeger pilot duo, to Hermann’s euphoria and Newt’s everlasting shame.

ex 3. the idea for “Prisoners’ Dilemma” was basically “what if Newt wasn’t alone for the 10 years of his possession? What if Hermann was there, both as our audience surrogate to observe the situation but also as a potential source of salvation? what if it was really messed up but also really cute and domestic?” 

2) Each fic has a different process but generally, ideally, I write the first draft as quickly as I can all the way to the end, occasionally having alpha readers to offer encouragement if it’s a very long piece to get me through the slog and self doubt (I had SO MUCH self doubt about towoid, damn, I was convinced the story was self indulgent garbage pretty much the whole time). TPD that kinda broke down so it’s been slower going overall as I release chapters as they come. One reason I like to finish a story to the end before posting though is a) it gives more time to let the early chapters sit so I can edit them with fresh eyes and b) it allows me to “seed” things and set up foreshadowing for stuff I don’t get an idea for until I’ve written to the end. For example, the circle “Wrath” in TOWOID was re-written after I finished the first draft because I realized it needed tweaking to be brought in line with the overarching mystery of the story so the reader could actually *solve* it. 

3) I get beta readers. I also read the chapters about 100 more times myself, before and after it’s posted. I’m still editing months even years later. I basically re-read a section every time someone comments on it, because their comment allows me to see the story with new eyes. 

When it comes to defeating writers block, generally what I find is it’s a product of being too hard on oneself. Another reason to write the whole draft before posting is it allows me to not worry about the audience or let them in on the process until I’m certain myself about what I have to say, without fear of judgement or alteration for “fanservice”. Trying to change things to please fans is one of my biggest sources of writer’s block. There’s generally a reason I don’t do things a certain way. I also really need there to be conflict in a story or I get stalled out. If it’s just two people having a cup of tea agreeing on everything the other says, I don’t know how to direct the scene forward. Even just now while working on the next TPD chapter I realized I had stalled out because the characters agreed on something too early in the conversation and they needed to be in conflict for the conversation to progress to where it needed to go. 

Tip: One thing that’s helpful for breaking writers block is doing 15 minute short prompt fics. Just having something rough but DONE is a good way to remember that one is a writer and one CAN complete things. It also helps make writing feel less momentous, like every word needs to be perfect, which is in my experience the source of almost all writers block.

I also try to incorporate lessons from the writing workshops I’ve begun attending. Lately I’ve been working on:

- Make sure everything has a cause and effect. Even just thoughts the characters are having need to be prompted by something external, they can’t just realize things out of the blue, something needs to prompt the thought, otherwise the audience can’t follow or predict the action and it makes them frustrated. I still agonize over what are probably invisible plot holes in TOWOID where I feel like I didn’t adequately set up certain aspects of the story. For example, I still feel as if I never properly came up with the cause of the dive into Newt’s memories taking the form of Dante’s Inferno, at least not to my satisfaction, because the true Doylist answer was, “Because the author felt like it.”

- For TPD I’ve been throwing myself into making sure information isn’t known to different characters before they actually share it. An astute reader may notice that by ch. 6 of TPD, Hermann *still* doesn’t know that Alice is the brain in the jar. Why would he know that? It’s a bonkers thought that would never occur to Hermann, Newt is too embarrassed to tell him and the Precursors never would. So at this point, though the audience has outside knowledge of who “Alice” is, Hermann still believes she’s a human accomplice, perhaps someone at Shao. Similarly, the Precursors and Newt have a copy of Hermann in their minds, but it’s a copy from the day of the Drift, so they don’t know Hermann’s thoughts for the past year or two, they don’t have an echo of the Hermann who has been in love with and cohabited with Newt for that time. So, their map of Hermann is incomplete thus they can’t always predict his actions and that drives them nuts. I could go on but that would be spoilers. Suffice to say, I’m doing my damndest to give each character distinct knowledge and a distinct mental map of how they operate, which can be a bit migraine inducing for the author at times lol. 

- Describing facial expressions with specifics. This is a critique I got at my last workshop, that I was falling into the fanfic trap of describing things like, “Something indescribable happened to his face.” It’s not indescribable, damnit, describe it! You’re the author! We can only see the world as you show it because it’s all squiggles on a page! When you use that turn of phrase, you’re making the reader do your job of showing how things look AND you’re missing an opportunity to give your characters strong, unique visual details. 

Anyway, I hoped this answered your questions somewhere in this mess!

[amarantine-amirite]

November Syndrome

Imagine that you're a freshman. You're away from home for the first time, out from under the thumbs of veganism and expectations for high achievement that were previously foisted upon you. You have no sense of obligation other than avoiding being yelled at by parents and school. No discipline. No idea how to schedule anything. No sense of organization or time management. The only reason you ever got anything done before was because you had been emotionally beaten into submission by your higher-ups.

What happens? You go crazy. End of story. For the first two months, you go to every party and social event on campus, then, come November, you go bonkers over how much work you have to do, but you don't actually do any work. Instead of working, you escape into things like writing fanfiction, playing Fortnite, or something else unrelated to your studies. It's almost like you evolve into a master procrastinator.

Worse, you don’t even notice your lack of discipline until there’s no one saying “no” to every one of your ideas. As a premed, one of the courses I had to take was called "Computer Science for Scientific Applications". It sounded better than it was. It involved having to hand-write code. On top of that, we had to write in pen! It sucked. My handwritten braces looked like sideways boobs. It was just awful. What really sucked was that I write in cursive, so I did my code in cursive. The professor was not pleased when I handed my assignments in. Our assignments were graded based on whether or not they worked. We don't know until we hand anything in if it works. We don't test the code ourselves, he runs it for us. He put our assignments were put through a scanner, and the scans would be put through a piece of software that would convert the text on the image of the page into actual text. The text that it scraped would then be entered into the IDE for the language in question. Usually for freshman computer science, the language was Java, but our steam (recall I was in premed at the time) did Javascript. The only sort of editing that had to be done to the code once it was scanned and in the IDE was typically spacing related/missing character (the software was good but not perfect).

How was your assignment scored? If the code ran, you passed, and if not; you failed. And I failed my assignment (I only did one) because my handwriting always created a ton of problems for the transcription software. It was kind of a weird program. The software had an auto-detect-language-and-translate feature. Sounds cool, but because of my writing, it thought that I was writing in Hindi and it would "auto-translate" my code. Since the translation module for the software was not that good, stuff got mistranslated…a lot. I remember on one of my assignments, I wrote something in the comments and it got garbled into "radish boots". Ever since then, my nickname amongst my friends in CS was Radish Boots. I didn't hand in any more assignments for that class after that.

See, that's how it starts. Something very small, very unexpected like that. That's how you get the idea that your assignments are optional. And that was all it took to turn me into a master procrastinator.

Once I got the idea that assignments were optional, I just really let myself go. Within three weeks, I went from "good student" to "crappy student" to "how the hell did they get into university?" With no actual work weighing me down, I went ahead and participated in every campus social event ever. Paint-your-own flower pot day at the library? I was there! Fitness event? I was there! Halloween party? Take a guess? I kid you not, I was acting like one of those guys in a college movie. Rather than studying, I went to social events. It was great, except for one little thing. Turns out (and I learned this at board game night), people find people who act like they're in college movies really annoying.

Anyway, the incident that happened at board game night was related to something that happened in chemistry. We had one of those semester long group projects where they put you in groups of seven or eight people. One of the people in our group (Anne, I believe it was) was at the event, and she gave me an earful. Not going to lie, she was really mad that I wasn't doing any work. That's bad enough on its own, but she was angrier than I had expected her to be because we lost five people in the group (four of whom died in rapid succession in some bizarro chain reaction):

last Monday, Laura died of obesity related complications

last Tuesday, Alejandro took up jogging to avoid dying like Laura. He got hit by a bus

last Wednesday, Kevin became afraid of the outdoors (thanks to what happened to Alejandro) and sought refuge in playing video games. Come the weekend, he died of a blood clot from playing Starcraft for 62 hours straight

on Sunday, Melissa shunned all technology (because of what happened to Kevin) and went off to rough it in the woods. She died eating poisonous mushrooms

and yesterday, Michiru dropped out because she couldn't handle the pressure of doing the work of the people that died 

Now, our group only had two people, and we had to do the work of seven people. Actually, scratch that. Since I wasn't pulling my weight, poor Anne was stuck doing the work of seven people. Understandably, she was fuming with me, and more than a few swear words were uttered. Anne made a point of saying that if I didn't step up in times of crisis, I had no business being a doctor. I would have agreed, but I had my first taste of freedom in my life. There was no one telling me how I had to respond, so I did what people in movies did: I told her to fuck off.

I don't blame Anne for being so ticked with me. After all, she was doing the work of seven people and I was being a coward, hiding behind a mask made out of lies and excuses. No one likes that.

And then, it happened. November rolled around. The amount of stuff that was past due was insane. Seriously! I missed literally every single assignment that wasn't a test (actually, I think I might have missed a couple of tests, too). I made the mistake of buying into the delusion that assignments were optional, and I ended up paying for it.

I needed to get my shit together and do work, but I couldn't. It went beyond lack of discipline. I never built a workflow, and now I couldn't, for it was too late to dig myself out of the hole. And so, instead of doing the work I needed to do, I did a bunch of irrelevant crap. I had run out of time as a procrastinator, but I acted like things were OK. The reality was, they weren't. My situation with school was beyond dire. Worse, I lied to myself about how it wasn't a big deal. Rather than own up to anything, I escaped into a world of playing video games, writing crappy fan fiction, and other bullshit that would in no way help me get on top of school. November called, and I didn't answer. I couldn't. I was stuck where I was.

I know that I sound like I am repeating myself a lot, but I really want to emphasize how I still didn't get my ass in gear even though things had gotten to the point that I really, really had to buckle down and actually do a ton of work to just pass. More specifically, I wanted to emphasize how much stupid fan fiction and creepypasta I read and wrote during that period. I don't know why I gravitated to creepypasta. I think I was trying to hide the fact that I was a coward, afraid to face the consequences of my procrastination. Liking works of fiction involving surreal horror and demented episodes of beloved childhood cartoons somehow must have translated in my mind to not being afraid of anything. Regardless of how the logistics of that excuse supposedly worked, I ended up being a creepypasta addict.

And that bled into my fanfic writing. I know because I tried to write this ridiculous JumpStart fanfic. It was supposed to be a creepypasta/fanfic (like the infamous Cupcakes), but it just came out incredibly stupid. The concept that powered the story was the little animals from the early elementary JumpStart titles (Frankie the dog, Eleanor the elephant, Pierre the polar bear, CJ the frog, etc…) acting like the folks on South Park. For instance, Frankie the Dog was "Kyle", CJ the Frog was "Stan", Eleanor the Elephant was "Cartman" (albeit with a hidden softer side), and I don't remember who was "Kenny" (I think it was Pierre the Polar Bear). Anyway, the actual story was this thing with vampires. The story was that, at some point, Eleanor got bitten by a vampire (and consequently, turned into a vampire). At the same time, Pierre (I think) was in the hospital with some pretty heavy duty muscular dystrophy, and CJ was trying to persuade people to fund stem-cell research in the hopes that they could save Pierre. However; Frankie thought CJ's thing was dumb and said that they could get Eleanor to bite Pierre so he'd turn into a vampire, thereby curing him of his muscular dystrophy. The only problem with that was, well, Pierre would be a vampire. Eleanor ends up being conflicted by the whole thing, and that's the conflict that drives the story.

I remember some time after I posted the first two chapters online wanting to have a twist ending (I'd written about 75% of the story by this time). I didn't know whether I wanted to do "you think it's the future but it's really the past" or "you think it's the past but it's really the future". I guess it didn't matter, because I noticed that I had only two hours left before the submission deadline for my biology term paper. After trying to convince myself that no, I wasn't dreaming this, I wrote the bare minimum of what I needed to write to fit the guidelines for the term paper disclosed on the webpage; then uploaded the results to turnitin.com, fingers crossed that I would at least pass.

Except I didn't. Not only did I not pass the term paper, I didn’t even hand it in. I found out the next day that I had actually uploaded the fourth chapter of my dumb-ass JumpStart fanfiction (and it was a scary chapter too...it was the flashback to when Eleanor gets bitten by the vampire). The prof was not impressed. Let's just leave it at that.

You have no idea how badly I screwed everything up. I managed to get a flat zero in every single course this term. The only exception was CS, where I wound up getting only 2%. Bottom line is that I failed everything. Yes, everything. My only shot at academic redemption is the final exam.

Even still, it might not be enough. As of this writing, I have less than twelve hours before I go in to write the exam. This is bad. I can't sleep even though I'm exhausted. I have to stay up and work. I need to sleep, but I can't. I'm stuck. I've made this bed, and now I'm going to die in it.

No, really. I feel like I'm going to die.

When I first started cramming, I was fine for the first hour and a half. After that, though, I started seeing static in my field of view. The static thing lasted for a couple of hours until it progressed to seeing shadow people. Or, at least I thought they were shadow people. They weren't even remotely humanoid. I was seeing weird, shadowy spider things. They looked like giant tarantulas, all four of them, and they were coming for me. Just before they got me, they vanished.

They were gone. They were 100% all gone. It was like it never happened. No static, no ghost spiders, nothing. Crisis averted. Back to work.

Nope. It's not that simple. The minute I went back to reading the textbook, I could feel my heart race. I tried to highlight stuff and write down key points, but I couldn't, since my right arm is numb. I switch to writing with my other hand, but that doesn't work. I can't write with my other hand too well. Worse, the minute I get the hang of writing with my other hand, I start throwing up like a volcano. After that, it's over. I can't study if I'm throwing up every three minutes. Even if I weren't throwing up the way I am, I wouldn't be able to focus on studying right now. I can barely form coherent sentences, much for your time like to undarastamnd the impotence of teh book biology and chemistry. Chemical biologrehcal flerbut connection ffrhhAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

AAAAAAAAAA!

@the-writer-s-hideout

[storyteller0311]

Arrow 5x23: Forgiveness, Redemption, and the Ties That Bind

So, I don’t know about you guys, but I thought tonight’s season finale of Arrow was pretty spectacular. While the general plot of the episode was somewhat predictable, the themes running through it and the assorted character moments were wonderful. But it was the episode’s function as both a season finale and the closing of a 5 year arc where it truly and fantastically shined.

Tonight’s episode brought many, many things full circle and connected threads that have been present throughout the season and throughout much of the series. Had the episode not ended on such a cliffhanger, it would have worked as a series finale too. (Though I’m so glad we have more time to spend with our favorite characters.)

If I had to simplify 5x23 into a core group of themes, it would be:

Forgiveness Redemption Moving On

and most importantly...

the love of a parent for their child.

And, with great kudos to Arrow’s writers and producers, I found that these themes and the plot lines they were highlighted by simultaneously closed out the journey so far and laid the ground work for Arrow’s journey moving forward.

In my opinion, so many of the things that happened in 5x23 were necessary, not only to close out that 5 year arc, but more importantly to launch Arrow into a new era.

Malcolm Merlyn’s death could have come in so many different ways. He could have been the villain in this episode had this and previous seasons been constructed differently. But instead, and I think infinitely more powerfully, he died as the one thing he’d been claiming he was for years – a father who loved and would do anything to protect his daughter. Not only did this feed into the episode’s main theme, but it also served as a road forward for Thea in season 6. In the aftermath of Season 4’s bloodlust storyline, Thea has struggled with her identity as the daughter of less than innocent parents. But, as Malcolm proved, no one is all dark or all light (OK, except for maybe Adrian Chase – dude is bat shit bonkers) and in the end his sacrifice will give Thea the strength and the resolve and the faith to know that she is capable of being a good person and not simply the legacy of her parents.

To be honest, I wasn’t sure where Slade Wilson’s story was going to go in tonight’s episode. And by the time he had triple (quadruple?) crossed Oliver and team, I had whiplash. But, in the end, I was so very happy that his storyline was one of redemption. And it makes sense too. I highly doubt Manu Bennett would have agreed to return for anything less – especially considering his unhappiness/crankiness about Slade’s character development in the past.

Slade is a mirror in some ways to Oliver, as well as a direct callback to the beginning of Oliver’s story. This Slade is a man who has had to come to terms with his actions, he knows the power of the past. And he knows that Oliver is still the innocent kid underneath, who is not the monster that Chase has made him out to be. And, now knowing that Oliver is also a father, he too sees that Oliver knows the love of a parent for his child and that he will do all he can to save William. 

I think Slade will meet one of two fates in the aftermath of 5x23. There was a moment at the end of the episode where I caught something that made me think Slade might have something up his sleeve – an idea to save them. Whether or not Slade has a major hand in saving everyone on the island, I don’t look for him to stick around in any capacity. He’ll either die saving the others or surviving, will go off to look for his son.

For Lance, tonight’s episode was as much about moving on as it was about a parent’s love for his child. Tonight, Lance made a huge stride forward in his acceptance of Laurel’s death. Black Siren’s presence is not a balm to Lance, but rather is an insult to Laurel’s legacy. She is the antithesis to his daughter and he will not have her manipulating that legacy or his love of and memory of her.

 His moving on is also highlighted by his calling Dinah Black Canary, thus answering the question Laurel posed on her death bed to Oliver at the beginning of the season and giving Dinah her road forward in Season 6.

And, then, there’s Oliver. Our dear, beautiful boy has come full circle.

He has been to the brink and has come back from it. He will not let Adrian win. He will not give in to his demands.

He has finally come to terms with his journey and realized that he has changed. He is not the same man that returned to Starling City at the beginning of Season 1.

He has forgiven himself.

He is ready to move on.

It will probably be an unpopular opinion, but I now see why the William storyline was so important to the overall trajectory of Arrow and Oliver’s story. We can argue on specifics and how Olicity was handled within the storyline, but I think Oliver absolutely needed to learn he had a son and go through this journey to understand and accept this facet of his journey.

Because he finally understands why his father did what he did on that life raft in the pilot. Why this journey of hell and heroism began in the first place.

Because Robert’s love for his son would have led him to do anything to protect Oliver. Just like Oliver’s love for William would lead him to do anything to protect him.

Because deep down, underneath the conspiracies and the Undertaking, and the book of names, and the righting of wrongs…it was about love. And forgiveness.

“I’ve been tryin’ to get down to the heart of the matter… But I think it’s about forgiveness Forgiveness” – Don Henley, “The Heart of the Matter”

So, where do we go from here?

I look for Season 6 to be a departure in many ways from the last 5 seasons. The conclusion of Season 5 showed Oliver accepting that he could have a full life that included those he loves. I think this life will definitely include William, though how much will depend on Samantha’s fate – something I’m not sure of.

I think Season 6 will be an exploration of Oliver Queen, family man and that he and Felicity will be stronger than ever by the end of the season.

And, finally, a random thought…

With all this thematic emphasis on parents…does anyone else think it puts an interesting spin on how the new recruits called Felicity and Oliver “Mom” and “Dad” all season? 

[sartle-blog]

Top 10 Jeff Koons Collaborations

Is Jeff Koons taking on collaborations with open arms or awkward hand syndrome? Jeff Koons is no stranger to collaboration. In fact, he’s a bit promiscuous when it comes to sharing his artistic talent. You would think since Koons sold Balloon Dog (Orange) at auction for $58.4 million in 2013 (the most expensive work sold by a living artist) that he would kind of just do his own thing and keep shooting for higher and higher auction records.

But no, the man loves a good artistic partnership. He’s worked with musicians, clothing brands of all kinds, iPhone apps and alcoholic beverage companies, each more bourgey than the last. Here are the best of these collaborations in an effort to come to a decision about whether or not we even like his work.

  10. Stella McCartney

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  This collaboration gets style points purely because Stella McCartney is cool, not because this necklace and charm bracelet are. In fact they are both very, very ugly. But alas if you call it a Jeff Koons then the money will come. This necklace sold for $337,347, which is just bonkers if you ask me. This may be coming from the tragic loss of my own rabbit, Bubbles or a particularly disturbing viewing of Donnie Darko at the age of 12, but I just don’t see why one would want this dangling from their body. That might be something to take up with my therapist.

  9. Jay-Z

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  Now this is a little more impressive. Jay-Z had just released his album, 4:44 when he decided to have one gargantuan (40 feet tall to be exact) Jeff Koons piece as the centerpiece of his stage design, which was a great decision because look how fuggin’ cool that looks. Unfortunately, that’s where the depth of the collaboration stops. We still aren’t sure why Jay-Z chose this as his backdrop as opposed to… literally any other cool looking giant sculpture. I mean sure, it’s badass looking, but it doesn’t add much to the content on Jay-Z’s music. And this collaboration is just no match to that of Beyoncé and Pipilotti Rist on Queen B’s track Hold Up on Lemonade (even though that one was sorta plagiarized, but I digress).

  8. Google

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  These phone cases can go on record as the cheapest Jeff Koons piece one could own. For only $40 you could have a Nexus phone case with one of three sculptures from Koon’s Gazing Ball series: Diana, Bust, or Mailbox. And as an added feature, there is a live wallpaper that comes with the case called The Gazing Ball Ballet. “By double-tapping the screen, users will be able to enjoy one new movement every few days, effectively transforming your phone screen into a piece of performance art.” This is very cool but also means that you would have to get a Google phone instead of an iPhone and who is going to do that? But we respect Koons’ attempt to break into the tech world and also make art affordable for the people. It was very let-them-eat-cake of him.

  7. BMW

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  Every so often, BMW chooses a famous artist to design their “Art Car” and Koons has been wanting to do it since 2003. Finally, ten years later, BMW presented with Koons’ design at the opening of Art Basel in Miami Beach. Koons is in good company with artists like Alexander Calder, Frank Stella, Roy Lichtenstein, Andy Warhol, Robert Rauschenberg, David Hockney, Jenny Holzer, and Olafur Eliasson having also designed cars. But Koons pays special tribute to Andy Warhol by making the racing number 79, the same year that Warhol created his Art Car. Personally I think all cars are just large, luxurious jelly beans, but it obviously made Koons exceedingly happy (just look at those arms) so we’ll give this collaboration full points.

  6. Dom Pérignon

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  If you were wondering what the pinnacle of bourgeyness is, it’s the collaboration between Dom Pérignon and Jeff Koons. This bottle holder is modeled after Koons’ Balloon Venus, which was modeled after the Venus of Willendorf and it costs $20,000… “Why so expensive?” you may ask, and the short answer is because they can. “But who would buy it?” you may add. Koons says that “[he] know[s] that [his] mother will want one… But [he] hope[s] a lot of collectors, people who are already involved with [his] work, will give these as gifts to their friends.” So if you still haven’t gotten around to finding that perfect gift for your bff, consider this. “But does it even taste good?” you ask. Here is what the makers have to say about it: “Its colour is deep, with light amber and copper tints. The wine’s bouquet erupts theatrically from its silken fleshy body, just as the sculpture’s reflective surface envelop the viewing in a dynamic invitation to tasting.” It sounds better than Franzia, but you can never be sure…

  5. H&M

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  This nifty little purse is the lovechild of H&M and Jeff Koons. And though you can’t put a price on love, you can put a price on this. And that price is $49.50. Pretty good for a Koons piece right? Koons stated oh so diplomatically, “I want my work to be accessible to people.” Specifically the people who don’t have $58.4 million lying around with which to purchase the original piece that this purse is representing. Artnet News claimed this as “this summer’s most irksomely ubiquitous handbag.” But they also thought that the bag was going to be a small balloon dog, not merely picture one so they were going to be let down no matter what. Personally, I don’t find it that annoying, but this is not Koons’ best collaboration so let’s move on.

  4. Burton

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  This collaboration is one of the best because they did it for the kids. Jeff Koons teamed up with the snowboarding company, Burton and also Plato (pictured left) to make “The Philosopher.” Jeff Koons’ kids got him to start snowboarding in 2013 and he fell in love with the sport. He claims, “It’s an extremely philosophical, transcendent sport,” which is mildly confusing but nonetheless was the inspiration for this design. The board costs a steep $5,000 (starting to notice a trend here?), but it’s ok because 100% of the proceeds went to the Chill Foundation, a non-profit that “provides opportunities for underserved youth to build self-esteem and life skills through board sports.” Whatta guy that Jeff.

  3. Snapchat

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  As collaborations go, this one is pretty brilliant. I mean using augmented reality to turn some of the world’s most famous tourist attractions into your own personal gallery is beyond inspired. Jeff Koons is a marketing genius. Among the locations where one can project 3-story tall Jeff Koons sculptures are Millennium Park in Chicago, the National Mall in Washington, the Venice Boardwalk in Los Angeles, Hyde Park in London, Copacabana Beach in Rio de Janeiro, Central Park in New York, the Sydney Opera House in Australia, and on the Champ de Mars in Paris. And the only way to unlock the filter is by being within 1000 feet of the site so we know it’s legit. On another note, I feel it’s important to discuss what an underdog story this is for Snapchat. They started out as a chill way to send nudes and look at them now. On top of the world. It’s really touching to see.

  2. Louis Vuitton (you knew this was coming)

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  Of course Jeff Koons has a collaboration with Louis Vuitton. There was just no way this wasn’t going to happen. Louis Vuitton has worked with Cindy Sherman, Richard Prince, Yayoi Kusama, and most notably, Takashi Murakami over the course of it’s everlasting reign over luxury accessories and just had to add Koons to the list. This was the first time in Louis Vuitton history though that they allowed an artist to reconfigure their monogram into the initials of the artist. Gasp! Each bag has on it a work from some of the greatest names in art history: Poussin, Boucher, Manet, Gauguin, Monet, Turner, da Vinci, Rubens, Fragonard, van Gogh, and Titian. All the heavy hitters (all the white, male heavy hitters that is) are represented and the collection was so successful that the fashion house decided to produce another collection with even more famous dead guys! Hurray! All jokes aside, Louis Vuitton put out some fire ads for this campaign that you can watch here.

  1. Lady Gaga

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  The best of Jeff Koons’ collaborations is hands down, Lady Gaga’s Artpop album cover. Lady Gaga was so into Koons’ Gazing Ball Series when she first saw them that she got down on the floor with them and promptly decided that she wanted to be turned into a Koons sculpture herself, which she mentions in her song, Applause: "One second I'm a Koons, then suddenly the Koons is me.” The background of the album is cut up little slivers Botticelli’s Birth of Venus and Bernini’s Apollo and Daphne. The background alludes to a transformation within Gaga, a new movement if you will. Also it gets an A+ for art history incorporation. Applause went on to be Lady Gaga’s most famous song, more so than Born This Way, which really makes me question the American public. But nonetheless, it’s a fire track on a fire album, which you’ve probably heard on the radio more times than there are flecks of gold in Botticelli’s Venus’ hair.

  By Emily

[uautoknow]

Budget Performance Mods

The biggest question I get asked, being the ultra automotive nerd that I am, is: What is the best performance vehicle my money can buy? And the answer is always the same: What is your budget, and what in your mind constitutes a good performance car? Mind bending speed? Sublime handling? 

That's up to personal preference, and lucky for you, you're spoiled for choice. In this article I take to the internet to find some modern, quick, street legal vehicles for less than $20,000.00.

What is the most cost effective way for you to get your license suspended, effective immediately?

For most performance nutters, the best course of action is to pick up a used car with a sweet handling chassis, and an engine that has some performance potential, and eek out as much performance as they can afford. This is of course the best course of action, and also the number 1 cause of headaches in males aged 16-65 (I made that up). As home tuners, our pleasure seems to come in the form of never ending suffering, and culminates to the eventual sale or death (whichever comes first) of our beloved, incomplete, and ultimately unreliable motor vehicle race car. I've decided to write this article to help save you some headaches. The vehicles I discuss either still have OEM support, or have a wealth of aftermarket suppliers. So, what is the most cost effective way for you to get your license suspended, effective immediately?

1. The Widow-Maker

This is a very common occurrence.

The first thing that comes to mind is the ridiculously bonkers '04 ZX-10R. No it's not a car, but it was the first ever production vehicle to be able to break every traffic law in America in 1st gear (174km.h)! It lead the liter bike category in terms of it's power to weight ratio, but has a notoriously light front end, making 3rd gear wheelies unavoidable. The bike was insanely fast, considering that it has been electronically limited to 300km/h. Good examples can be had for anywhere between $5-9000.00 CAD (less than half of our $20,000.00 budget), but also keep in mind that the fact that it's a hooligan by nature, and that vehicles like these have usually been driven the way they've been designed to - abusively. For the price-point, there isn't a whole lot else out there that can put up super car numbers AND boast Japanese reliability. Some things to consider about daily riding a motorcycle are outlined in this excellent article. Obviously the '04 ZX-10R is not in a league of its own, the liter sports-bike category is a competitive market, and newer more advanced iterations of all brands can be found in similar price ranges. All liter motorcycles boast licence revoking numbers, and if you're looking to have that happen, this is the most affordable and expedient way to do so!

For those of you who don't have the motorcycle buzz, never fear, there are some great cars out there, but if numbers like top speed, power to weight, and sub $10,000.00 pricing are your hot buttons, nothing will beat a sports-bike's performance for its dollar value.

2 Turbo Fun

Hyundai has become a staple name for bargain cars with great power figures.

Ok, so you're probably thinking I'd love a bike! The last time I went down down on one knee cost me a hell of a lot more than $10k! But, I've got a family, and my significant other makes me great tuna casseroles for lunch. How am I supposed to get my meals to work on the nicest of days, let alone the winter? And are my two rugrats just supposed to veg out at home, neglected?

The last time I went down down on one knee cost me a hell of a lot more than $10k!

No! What you need in your life is what we car folks call a "hot hatch!" There are of course numerous options, of varying price points, but in North America, we aren't as spoiled for choice as our European brethren. Check out this article for a comprehensive review of the budget sports cars in the Canadian market. Otherwise, you can take my word on the fact the Hyundai Veloster Turbo is a wicked little car for the money. It has bold styling, 200hp, and comes loaded with features like Sat-Nav, Sirus XM, leather, a sun roof. The list goes on an on. I found this 2014 model for $16,488, and it includes all of the above equipment. That leaves $4,500 in the budget for some excellent wheels and tires. They are fun, practical, cars and being front wheel drive they do make for excellent winter cars. Aftermarket support is high, as Hyundai have positioned themselves with several A-list brands, which is good to know as this greatly increases the likelihood of performance parts fitting properly (I for one, hate when bolts don't line up, and it has discouraged me from bolt on tuning). There is a community of support, you get turbo power, and Red Bull has opted to use the Veloster as its World Rallycross weapon.

In terms of options and power on a budget, this is a sporty car that goes largely overlooked. VW's GTI has reigned supreme in the hot hatch department for years, but the cost of maintenance begins to add up. The Veloster flies in the face of all the Hyundai naysayers that are found in any car community. The level of quality and attention to detail is comparable to that of Nissan, Honda, Mitsubishi, and Toyota. There are no ridiculously uneven panel gaps like you see on the Mustang, and the interior is stylish and quiet. Soft touch is in, and Hyundai obviously got the memo. It's more ergonomic and cleverly laid out than the Hyundai Genesis Coupe, the brands flagship sports car.

3. But 'Merican Muscle?

The 'Stang 4 Cylinder

That's right! It's time for the internet's favorite debate, import vs. domestic, tuner vs muscle. The American's have always had a way with cars. They're known for making sublime chassis and monstrous engines, but they have a very distinct persona when compared to their European and Japanese competitors. Going American is usually the most cost effective route to 320km/h, but typically this comes with a glaring downside... An inability to corner with speed and agility. Until 2015 the pony cars all lacked independent suspension, but Ford finally stepped forward and challenged the competition. The 2015 Mustang, in all engine configurations, is a blast of a machine; new ones can nearly be had on our $20,000 budget. The 4 cylinder eco-boost is comparable to the Toyota GT-86, and also the BMW 228i (surprised face). The Toyota may have an upper hand with a perfect 50/50 weight distribution, but the 'Stang makes up for it in power and a lively, loose rear end, so it's up to you to pick your poison. The BMW in comparison is soft and pedestrian to the snarling 'Stang, and the remarkably nimble GT-86. So the American's do have some car cred in the fun small cars (engine, in the Mustang's case) segment, but what about their bread and butter: the high displacement, roaring muscle car? The Corvette has been a staple Super-Car killer for some time, as has the Dodge Viper. Although their price-points are performance bargains, they are hardly affordable. And then we have the muscle cars like the Hellcat.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em!

Beautiful, luxurious, refined -- this describes the interior. Loud, brash, muscular, 707hp. This is the Hellcat we know and love. It's utter insanity. I'm told it can corner, although I've never seen one with enough traction to do it. If you'd like to see what it's like to own one, I was brought out to a Londonderry Dodgemeet, and captured this footage.

None of these are the standout American car for me, though. Yes there are some great bargains out there. In the used market a Boss 302 Mustang can be had for the price of a new 5.0, and Charger R/T's have come into the $5-7000.00 range, placing it right in the hunt with a 1000cc motorcycle in terms of price. Fantastic cars, great aftermarket support, and relatively practical, there is no doubt that high performance can be had without severely breaking the bank. The stand out for me is the one that smashed a world record, in Porsche's backyard no less, the Nürburgring. That's the Jeep Grand Cherokee SRT8. Early models can be had for less than $20K, and believe me, it does not drive like a lumbering SUV. It's much more precise than its fellow SRT8's, to the point that I would compare the all wheel drive system to the venerable Mitsubishi Lancer Evolution X, and the almighty Nissan GTR. It certainly doesn't handle like an SUV, it is nimble, and light on it's feet. It's practical, can be had with DVD headrests, an amazing Alpine sound system, it has a belching V8 that puts out 470hp, and it's AWD.

4. Now I want AWD, but not an SUV.

Rally reigns supreme in the AWD world

Mitsubishi and Subaru are the industry leaders for budget all wheel drive cars, and the likes of the Lancer Evolution and Subaru STI are reserved for the hardcore enthusiasts. They are lacking much of the interior flash and comfort that the latter (with the exception of motorcycles) exhibit. Instead they opt for ultra stiff Recaro seats, and lightweight plastics. The electronic control units are highly advanced, allowing for torque vectoring and the ability to adapt to various weather and terrain. The Evo specifically has tarmac, gravel and snow modes that actually change the power distribution from rearward, to 50/50, to forward respectively. The suspension is stiff and rough, more so with the handling package, which includes Bilstein shock absorbers, Brembo brakes, and BBS wheels. All of this performance does come at a cost. These cars hold their value extremely well, a de-tuned version, in the form of a Lancer Ralliart, has a market value of around $23k (just breaking our budget) for a 2011 model. The Ralliart does feature the same AWD and engine as the Evo (only a single scroll turbo though), mated to the Evo MR's dual clutch transmission, but that price point is a far cry from the vast majority of pre-owned 2 wheel drive sports cars.

Ultimately, 4 wheel drive is a high demand feature in Canadian cars. It goes to show that as much as consumers demand luxury features, they are willing to pay more for the features that move them.

It comes down to your priorities, and ability to stick to budget.

When it comes to performance numbers on a budget, a motorcycle will always win. If we were to compare a $60,000.00 car (Alfa Romeo 4C for example) to a $60,000.00 motorcycle like the Kawasaki H2R, the car won't hold a candle to it, as we can see in this video, a 1,000+hp Bugatti Veyron struggles to compete with the Kawasaki in a straight line. Although motorcycles have a significant advantage on the straights, Guy Martin proves here that no matter how much top speed (and skill) you have on a motorcycle, the physics behind a car have a clear advantage.

IndyCar vs MotoGP

Whether it be a budget drag king, like the Dodge Charger that can double as a family car, or a sporty hatch like the Hyundai Veloster, performance practicality can be had for a similar cost to a 300km/h bullet bike. If you're in the market for something quick with AWD, the price tends to skyrocket (relative to the vehicles discussed here), but the practicality and year round fun that can be had in an all wheel drive performance vehicle is absolutely undeniable.

[bored-and-alone-among-the-s-blog]

Hi, I'm curious be prepared ^^ For Earth : Leaf, Flower, Plant, Forest, Bug // For Water : Tide, Seaweed, Thunderstorm // For Air : Wind, Float // For Fire : Flame, Campfire, Energy, Summer. Sorry, feel free to ignore any question you don't like, don't want to answer. (Bonus, if there a question you wanted someone to ask you feel free to answer it even if I didn't asked you)

O.O I REALLY RECEIVED ONE THIS NEVER HAPPENS. OK THEN:

Earth:

Leaf, Favourite Season: Autumn

Flower, Prettiest thing I own: My cat-like-ear headphones or my future looking sunglasses ( or my hair! *tries to be funny*)

Plant, My best aspect: uhm… This is so difficult… I would say the fact I am asexual… I don’t know why. Maybe because I feel free from the fact that I realized that? I don’t really know.

Forest, where I am calm the most: this is a weird question, but… And it’s true I swear. In the forest, in the woods. There is a specific place and it is where I went on holiday since I was just a toddler. I went there every year for a month and since it was a small village between the mountains and I was mostly free… And I started to run away, and isolate myself running in the woods. I used to spend there a lot of time. It is my favourite place in the world. I have to add, sadly, that it WAS. They are now building an hotel in that area and destroying my woods. I don’t have words for how I feel about that.

Bug, irrational fear: I think it is… And I am comfortable to say it only because no one here knows who I am in reality… I fear of people to really see who I am.

Water

Tide, About swimming: Yes I can swim, do I like it? Only in swimming pool AND ONLY when I am alone. I don’t like to swim with people around.

Seaweed, favourite see creature: Starfish, those are freaking cool and badass.

Thunderstorm, do you like to be outside when it rains?:YES YES YESSSSSS 1701% YES

Air

Wind, my favourite song to dance to: uhm… Hard question because I am not one to dance like in the disco or in places where people are, but when I am alone I like to dance to stuff… Like… WAIT my favourite song to dance on Just dance is Black Widow (JD 4?) But I like Sway and the Time Warp song too… If I have to answer about dancing with someone else… I would say a Waltz I really like it

Float, what’s the first thing I think in the morning: “shit” or “where the fuck I am” ( not because I drink or anything I think it every freaking morning and I don’t know why )

Fire

Flame, have you ever burned something?: eh eh eh yes.

Campfire, my favourite childhood memory: I don’t really know… I think… Me… Playing pokemon with my first gameboy when I was 5/6?

Energy, one word to describe my life: I may sound not like a really nice person but I would totally say “Boring”

Summer, craziest thing I have ever done: mg there are so many things that I could tell… Like the one I run out of the summer camp eluding all the videocameras and the guards or when I corrupted (with cigarettes) the summer college guard to let me in and out of the campus whenever I wanted after the curfew or… Uhm that time when I was 12 that I and a friend took a freaking train without a ticket and did like… 3 hours to go and 3 to go back to buy a vase that we broke playing with the ball in my friends house and the only place to buy it was really far! Or… Idk that time me and my bro too the car and with Bonkers as background music replayed the famous car chasing scene in Kingsman…. There are so many crazy stuff I have done… I have walked two hours to go to my bro house because she wasn’t feeling well and she was in a really bad (mentally and physically ) situation. I don’t really know I’ll let you judge between these because I could go on. I never realized until now how many weird thing I have done. But Yeah still bored AF.

@trekkie-in-space thank you so much for asking me these questions it never happens to me to be able to share something about me in this way and I kinda like this pretty games. I hope you’ll be interested in my answer