#ok Bendy baby tho | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

baghassavocados · 1 year ago

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So, like, first Tumblr post 😌😌😌

Right now, I wanna list out my AUs and their summaries cause I may make some into fanfics or ask blogs in the future (some currently being made 👀) and I wanna list them out for y'all to know, for me to keep track of them, and for y'all to keep an eye out for mayhaps (or help me out even, pls-)

The hyperfixations are also strong but they're everywhere and I need to write them all down; the notes app isn't enough.

Anyways... (Legit, no order to this whatsoever)

FNAF Ghosts- The concept of Ghosts (CBS) using FNAF SB characters

Gregory and Cassie search through an abandoned arcade/mall for reasons (idk). Vanessa's there acting as a security guard to make sure no one, y'know, trespasses or gets hurt. Well... that fucking fails... cause Greg FALLS through the BROKEN FLOOR.

He's ok, tho :)

Vanessa isn't :(

Greg can see ghosts now! :0

Hijinx ensues >:)

(this is gonna be a fanfic. Maybe an ongoing comic, too, but I've not got the energy nor time to do another ongoing comic).

Funtime Performer AU- The FNAF SL animatronics are actual human performers! (And the Aftons aren't dead! :D Willy still sucks, tho). That's honestly it... well, Elizabeth is still Circus Baby, but it's not because she...I did just say that nobody died, so I don't think I need to explain.

(This is gonna be an ask blog!!)

Tangled TAZ- I put Taako, Lup, Kravitz, Barry, and John (as well as others but these are the main guys) into Tangled. Taako and Lup are Rapunzel, Barry and Kravitz sorta act as Flynn, and John is Mother Gothel. Garyl is in it too! And Taako and Lup get a mongoose named Daryll instead of Pascal :))

(THIS IS AN ONGOING FIC ON AO3! It's called "The Lost Twins" and currently is only at chapter 2... it's been like that for a few months now ;-; stupid school and procrastinating and non-TAZ hyperfixations).

DanganTAZ - I put the TAZ characters into a Danganronpa situation... there's angst :)) I've hurt myself emotionally with this shit :,))

(THIS IS ONGOING ON INSTAGRAM!! DanganTAZ is the account! it, too, suffers a hiatus similar to TangledTAZ ;-;)

Millie and Delilah (names subject to change) - They are my BATIM OCs! Basically, Millie is a combination of all the main toons of BATIM and Delilah is an unfinished character; all and nothing :)) [Ooh, that's a good title name :0]. I still need to fix up this stuff and figure more things out (since I originally made them back in, like, 2018, so... yeah), bUT it will be an ask blog, so y'all can help 😎

Edit 11-11-23: I've another AU

RTC Goosebumps -I put the Ride the Cyclone characters into the new Goosebumps TV Series on Disney + (but I did switch some stuff up and am gonna use inspiration from different Goosebumps books).

A few years ago, a girl fell off of a rollercoaster and died. She lost her head in the process from the cart running into her as she hit the track. No one, not even by the passengers in the cart who miraculously survived, were able to identify her. Because of this incident, the amusement park has been abandoned. Most of what it had remains in ruin. However, strange happenings occur after 5 teenagers enter the now haunted amusement park and come out of it with some souvenirs.

...and some chilling scares.

Here's also some one offs that I don't think I'll make in full, but they deffo came up in my mind at one point:

(again, no particular order)

TOHTAZ (Lup and Taako as Eda, Angus as Luz, Barry as Raine, Kravitz as Darius, Mags is the Construction Coven Head, Dav is the Illusion Coven Head, Lucretia is Oracle Coven Head, Merle Plant Coven Head, Pringles Potion Head, Carry might've been Beast Keeping, and John is Belos. That's as far as I got, I think)

RTCTAZ (I have a few pics explaining this better-)

[scribbled to blur out my face 😬]

Anyways ummm ooh, my BATIM chapter 5 theory before chapter 5 came out, that one's actually kinda neat. (The Ink Demon and Bendy are separate, Joey's the Ink Demon, Bendy was hiding around at the bottom of the studio, making tapes to hopefully lead Alice and Boris in the right direction and having to hide or pretend to be the Ink Demon, Allison, Tom, and Henry find him, later on Allison and Tom turn on Henry and Bendy, and that's all I remember)

Ooh, and my other au where the loop didn't happen but the Ink Demon actually came back as a chill, toon Bendy (who was slightly deformed), that one's kinda cool, too.

Had a BATIM and Cuphead crossover at one point, barely remember anything from that (I primarily figured that out through RPing with myself and didn't draw any of it out ;-;)

Penny revives the choir could be a oneshot.

Losttale

Oh, Danganronpa characters in an Undertale situation (yes, I did put Nagito in Sans's position, it genuinely fit very well). That one's neat, too. Tis a shame I'm no longer into Danganronpa enough nor do I really know how to continue it... although, maybe I could, idk, that one also seems like a potential ask blog. It's honestly neat. Gotta fix it up a bit, tho.

Which reminds me of the fact that I put Alice and Bendy into Frisk's situation, imagining that as an ask blog as well.

Ooh, another DR AU I might not finish (but have written a bit and have occasionally thought of finishing it) is "What if Hajime got the Despair Disease and it carried on into chapter 4?" Nagito was slightly out of character in all the things I made of it, but it's still really good every time I look back. Came up with a whole new motive to replace the files (cause Hajime got them instead).

I actually might make this a thing, I might not, but Spiderman Bendy :)) (he has inky spider powers and he's "Spider Demon." It's actually kinda more "Venom-y" except the suit/ink isn't sentient. Also, the toons are human. Alice is like MJ, Boris is like Ned, Joey could be J. Jonah Jameson due to how much he looks AND sound like him, but it might be more fitting if it were Sammy, Audrey and Bendy are siblings [she might act as "Aunt May" despite, y'know, being his sister], I think Henry's Uncle Ben, sad 😔, dunno where the Butcher Gang fit, they're just bullies or possible villains, idk... actually, that might be it)

Oh, I also used Crybaby songs and made a story outta that using BATIM characters (Bendy was Crybaby)

Edit: I forgot my Taako Hanahaki au. Honestly, this seems plausible for a fanfic because of the juicy angst that comes from lost bonds.

Edit 6-2-24: I've got an Ace Attorney AU for ya: Apollo Spiderman. Maybe I'll make it a fic, who knows, I sure don't. He'd use his spider powers in court rather than fighting villains (but maybe he comes around to helping out with crime fighting). The WAA and Klavier definitely figure it out pretty quickly.

I think that's it

Well, I hope y'all enjoy the possibilities :))

Bonus AU:

Twisted/Reincarnated JatGP AUs:

Backstory time: so, I did the James and the Giant Peach Jr. musical a few years back and a few members of our cast managed to come up with funky AUs out of it. I want to ask them for permission to write it into a full on fic and publish it on AO3 first, but here's me at least teasing it. I'm kinda hyperfixated on it atm and I wanna write it out entirely before it fades away in the back of our memories and the crevices of our Google Docs.

It's so fun, actually :)) (and so twisted >:)))

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kindahoping4forever · 4 years ago

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tag contribution time: Daddy but bag of tangerines, Daddy but wrecking ball, Daddy but Greyhound, Daddy but teething pup, Daddy but bendy baby, Daddy but Dancer by Mali-Koa, Daddy but Sergei Polunin, Daddy but Oscar nominee, Daddy but not getting near Mocha (she literally ran away when I played the song 😔), Daddy but shirtless gardener that doesn't put sunscreen, Daddy but wearing blue jeans now, Daddy but Black man bun, Daddy but dirty feet, Daddy but hates mirrors with a passion (mood) 🤡🖖😅

Ana I'm CACKLING omg excellent work 😂😂😂

#I was getting ready for bed and saw this notif and was like 🧐 well i need to know what Ana has to say #you did not disappoint 😁#idk what i laughed at more bt dancer by mali koa or sergei polunin 😂😂😂#Mocha tho 🥺#ok Bendy baby tho #and I've already howled @ you about bag of tangerines #iconic 😁😁👏🏻👏🏻#ask #rebelwith0utacause #daddy but superbloom

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the-chaoscrow · 4 years ago

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Hello my friend what fandoms do you like/love?

ok so here is a list of all the fandoms I love and I am in currently

Avatar the last airbender

bendy and the ink machine

dc universe(mostly batfam and I haven’t seen anything from it it was sorta an accident that I joined lol)

marvel universe (i have seen the movies)

She-ra and the princesses of power

zelda breath of the wild

mandolorian (give din his baby back >:| )

The owl house

Hamilton

Overly sarcastic productions (do they count as a fandom)

I think that’s all of them

also Jason Todd is baby you may fight me even tho I twig and will probably lose I WILL PHYSICALLY FIGHT YOU

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0uimonami · 2 years ago

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I posted 4,000 times in 2022

67 posts created (2%)

3,933 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@midiport

@rockboci

@general-george-washington

@xtec

@vulpeccula

I tagged 2,632 of my posts in 2022

Only 34% of my posts had no tags

#art - 1,059 posts

#video - 453 posts

#animals - 306 posts

#death note - 258 posts

#aesthetic - 161 posts

#fav - 117 posts

#batim - 111 posts

#tiktok - 109 posts

#fnaf - 102 posts

#breaking bad - 95 posts

Longest Tag: 119 characters

#still conscious and aware (tho there are side effects like aggression) but their body is decaying as the ink takes over

My Top Posts in 2022:

hehe

717 notes - Posted June 6, 2022

rat

726 notes - Posted February 19, 2022

getting use to the cartoon world

726 notes - Posted February 4, 2022

sammy concept for my inkfection au :P

755 notes - Posted September 16, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

ok now idk why but seeing ya post of huggy calling bendy a baby cuz he's short just makes me think your huggy just sees anyone short and goes "baby" lol

See the full post

821 notes - Posted January 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #thank you guys for all the support!! <3 #also #idk if the format tags you but if it does im sorry :(

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jellycreamjammedart · 7 years ago

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Is this Yume Nikki/Batim bits of art an AU? Because your Madotsuki is so cute I wanna know a bit more about her, please? :3

Yes! It’s supposed to be a BATIM/Yume Nikki (both the original and the reimagined game) crossover AU (although not a super serious one, at least not that I have such deep plans for yet, it’s just for fun), I just haven’t been able to figure out a name for this AU yet, RIP (if you have suggestions I’m all ears)

Now with that out of the way, you wanna know more about this squishy little stinker, huh? This little stinker over here?

(sorry for spamming y’all with drawings of her lmao, I’m still in that part where you gotta draw a character a couple times to get a grip on their design.)

Well then, more about her you shall know! (She’s still an early build so there’s some depth I still haven’t developed for her.)

9 years old (has more or less the height of a 5 year old though: 3′8′’ ft / 112 cm)

Seriously she probably just barely meets up to a lil’ above the knee/the middle of the thigh of Ink Demon Bendy.

Sweater is pretty baggy & slightly oversized but that’s okay! It’s really smooth and soft!

Hair is likewise v soft & lightly poofy. Touching it might even feel a lil stimmy for you!

Baby hands (dont tell her i let u know this one tho)

Very huggable! She’s like an human version of a teddybear for tall/big people!

While Henry is kinda associated with items like the axe or the gent pipe, she has her own set of items. Usually a lantern (much akin to the one you can get in the “remake” of her game). It has a slightly stronger light than the flashlight Henry finds, but it also has shorter range of how far into the dark it can illuminate than the flashlight. She might end up picking up a Bendy doll along the way if she stumbles into one (come on she’s a kid let her live) which might work to keep her focused and grounded, like Teddy in Among The Sleep. Miiiiight also have a roll of duct tape in a pocket.

Some of the spaces that Henry needs to ax his way through, she can just squeeze through because she’s a smol. Not all spaces though.

Slower than Henry when having to walk through those hecking ink pools. Yanno, small legs.

Walks slightly slower, but also runs slightly faster than Henry (because he’s an old man). However running burns her stamina then she is forced to walk, or stay stopped to replenish it. Bacon soup replenishes it a lot faster (if she has a can with her, that is)

Has this kind of “calming and pacifying” effect even on creatures deemed hostile/aggressive. And while that alone can’t save her from every danger ever, she ironically is a lot safer with all these ink goobers compared to Henry.

She probably makes friends or at least acquaintances with ink creatures.

Idk how okay she’s a weird kid.

Probably would take rides on Bertrum and have a freaking good time (unlike Henry who has a weaksauce stomach haha)

Also would probably try to tape broken Bendy cutouts back together for some reason I can describe only as “slightly OCD”.

Very lowkey stress-eating, though it’s not very regular.

Is a pretty ok kid but there’s more to her than her simple design lets on.

… her perception of reality is… kind of weak and disconnected.

And by that I mean she at times might not be able to tell when she’s awake and when she’s dreaming.

That can be a little dangerous sometimes because she might be a tad more disregarding towards danger because she thinks she’s dreaming.

Her dreams are extremely solid and vivid, and she’s capable of remembering like 90% of them crystal clear (which also adds to her difficult in telling reality and dreams apart).

That however also helps her mentally age faster.

Like. Assuming she sleeps the average 8 hour period, she sleeps 1/3 of her life. As of now being 9, that means that she spent 3 years asleep. It’s also said that the brain can process information faster in the subconscious while asleep, which might for instance make a real-time 5 minute period feel like 60 minutes subconscious, therefore makes a dream feel like it lasts a lot longer than it actually did from real-time chronologic. If we do some math (which I suck at) here, one 5 min period can fit 12 times inside one hour (60 mins). If a 5 min period equals more or less 60 dream-minutes, that’s 720 dream minutes each hour. That’s a lot fam! One year has 8760 hours (not considering leap years here for the sake of simplicity, heck), so 26280 hours for 3 years. So, 720 dream-minutes for each hour of those 26280 hours? Whoa wait, THIS KID HAD AROUND 18921600 HOURS WORTH OF DREAMS, AKA… oh my god 2160 FREAKING YEARS WORTH OF DREAMS ATOP HER CHRONOLOGICAL 9 YEARS OF AGE??? THAT’S LIKE, 2169 YEARS HOLY FRIED STICK–

Of course I’m not saying this 9 year old stinker is mentally 2169 years since that’s not really how it works either, but she’s definitely matured faster than she should. I’d guess she’d resemble something like a late teenager without having gone through puberty nor having hormonal changes to her brain, so she’s in this awkward mixture of child/almost-adult.

Her premature maturing might be also due to her being often on her own company and being somewhat emotionally neglected, frequently having only dreams to help her pass time. Which also only further damages her ability to properly perceive reality.

That might as well make her prematurely grown somewhat more independent for being often without significant company.

That all, in exchange, gives her a lot of baggage you usually wouldn’t expect nor wish upon a child. But also means she’s “not very adoptable”, as couples usually want babies or at most very young toddlers, or children young enough to not have much baggage. She? She’s already starting to get old by that standard, and her unusual baggage only further discourages people to even bat an eye at her direction. She’s honestly already convinced she’ll be stuck at foster care till she grows out of the system (It makes her a little sad but honestly it more makes her more inclined to just go with the present than form a plan for the future rather than put a damp on her emotions, she’s got enough shit already), so she just lives the present without thinking about the future much or bothering to think about long-term plans. So she spends her life following her wits (which also includes visiting an old establishment which turned out to be a toon studio where someone had the bright idea of using satanic rituals and screw up everything– I’m looking at you Joey Drew).

This might also make her ability to bond with people “irregular”. As she doesn’t really have any REAL people who she has managed to form a significant bond with (dream people don’t count). With that, if you just end up spending enough frequent time with her, it might be more or less enough to have her to grow fond of you. If you’re just going to leave, please do so before she gets actually attached to you. However, this might be bad depending on the person she grows attached to, like, let’s say, a manipulative person. While she’s not your average “dumb kid”, from an emotional perspective she can be a little easy to manipulate.

“Wise beyond their years” trope.

Is often tired in some way, shape, or form. Not necessarily in a “superficial”, sleepy tired, nor in a “what a lazy kid!” kind of tired. Just, Tired™.

Due to this, she’s kind of despondent and a bit lethargic, unlike what you’d expect 9 year olds to be, probably loud and very active.

Adding to that, she probably would lay down on the infirmary’s bed even if it was previously sunken in ink. She doesn’t care she doesn’t freaking caaaaaare.

Speaking of ink, she probably would show discontentment to being stained with ink only in the very beginning, quickly growing desentized to it as it repeats (and let’s face it, it happens a lot no matter where you are in this place).

While her name is Madotsuki, it’s uncommon in the Western, and most people have trouble to even pronounce it, therefore she’s grown used to being called all sorts of nicknames, like Maddy/Maddie, Mads, etc, even silly ones like Samado, freaking Snudder Mado. She won’t care what you decide to call her so long it’s not a mean nickname.

Internal screaming? It’s more likely than you think.

Internalizes her stuff. Like, a lot

Seriously kid don’t do that it’s unhealthy.

Henry: “Stay close, I won’t let anything scary get to you.”

What she means: “Compared to what I see every night or whenever I sleep, these ink creatures are basically cakewalk.”

What she says instead: “… nothing here has been scarier than that hideous shirt of yours, old man.”

Usually well-behaved and polite, but can be lowkey mischievous and kind of sassy too.

Proooooooobably has self-esteem/self-worth issues already.

Welp, that’s a lot more than I thought I had by now! o:

#batim #bendy and the ink machine #yume nikki #yume nikki dream diary #crossover #madotsuki #jellycream answers #jellycream art #anonymous #read more #long post

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onewfantaesy · 8 years ago

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It’s 2010 bitch!!!

written also with @spacetaemin, @5hineesback, @choitaemins and @sabakunocasali (and probably many others)

“Minho shoot the ball” yelled super jock Kim Jonghyun as he ran down the footballl field. Minho, baseball in hand, hit the soccer ball so hard it become a touchdown. Everyone in the audience cheered but especially Taemin, long haired bb child innocent my son,,,doesn’t know a damn thing about anything. Evry1 thinks hes a girl but rly hes just feminine and cute and clueless!

Sitting next to Taemin was his best-friend-but-also-pseudo-mother, Kim Kibum, better known as “Key Umma.”

“I did it I got a homerun!!!” Choi Minho, the coolest jock in school, yelled as he ran on the track. He locked eyes w/ his super beautiful girlfriend, Yuri. She was so hot and he wsa really heterosexual and straight. Nothing would ever change that!!!!

Jonghyun, the token gay on the Sports team, immediately ran to his boyfriend in the stands, Key. The two embraced lovingly, proclaiming their love in front of the entire school because apparently homophobia isnt a thing and high schcool is just Amazing. They were the only Gays (Trademark) in the entire school (a/n: or so everyone Thought!!!!! Wink wink!!!!), and everyone knew that they Loved each other So Deeply that they would probably get married right after graduation. (a/n: jonghyun is thinking of proposing right after the game!!! He has a ring in jock strap and everything!!)

Minho looked on, disgusted. How could they possibly be okay wit THAT? He knew deep down he was truly homophobic. Minho hated gays!!! Suspicious that no one ever questioned why…

The next day they had to go to science class because it’s school and that’s what happens sometimes. Of course this was only for Loser kids, and Kim “Straight” Jonghyun wasnt One of those kids. He didnt even go to school he just sat in the basketball courts and pretended. He was cooler than That

Minho was still in class though because he was even cooler than Jonghyun and the coolest kids break the expectations of what’s expected of them. He sat in sciencey class ignoring the teacher. He scribbled down his favorite cereal recipes to pass the time.

Meanwhile, sitting int he back of the class was Taemin, even though he and minho aren’t even in the same grade. Taemin scribbled Minho’s name in little hearts all over his notebook, slamming it clsoed as loud and dramatically as possible when his teacher called him out for not paying attention.Minho didnt even know taemin Existed, let alone that he was a…..boy.. (and minho, as established, is not A Gay..he couldnt be!.. ..

Minho looked up at this. “Who’s That Girl” by EXID played in the background as Minho looked at Taemin for the first time...who WAS this boi? And WHY did he want to know? There’s no possible way that this literal nobody could make Minho question himself

The bell rang, and now it’s lunch because of course lunch happens right after the only class of the day. Taemin went to sit with Key Umma and Kim “Call Me Appa” Jonghyun at their usual lunch table (which was the only place at school jonghyun would actually go because usually hed be sitting alone in a basketball court). Taemin had lunch from home, because he would never eat the gross Cafeteria food that was served. Of course his Key Umma made the lunch for him since Taemin didn’t knwo how to make lunch at all. Taemin sipped on his 2 liter jug of banana milk(through a bendy straw courtesy of Key Umma) and innocently hummed a tune, blissfully unaware of the tragedies that occur in daily life.

“Life i s so good ummma” taemin said happily with a ray of sunshine coming down onto him from the window. Coincidentally, the sun also shines straight out of his asshole, and sometimes, a rainbow. “I don’t think anything can go wrong ever”

Just then!!! Minho, carrying his tray of Cafeteria food, tripped and fell and dropped all of his food right on Taemin’s head!!!

Key immediately stood up to defend his perfect pure virgin son, screeching at Minho for corrupting him with his School Food!!! Taemin didn’t even know what food was!! How dare Minho do this to him/!!!

“*sorry in Korean*” apologized Minho but Key umma was not having it. He hit Minho over the head with a his gucci bedazzled rhinestone purse, careful not to damage his perfectly manicured nails which no one at this school questioned, because he was the Queen Bee (and Shin Sekyung WASN’T) who everyone Feared.

Key immediately turned to Jonghyun, slapping his shoulder and saying, “Protect your Son!!!111!!”

Jonghyun, conflicted between defending his son’s honor and offending his Star Teammate, could only sit and now know what to do.

“Uwu it’s ok key ummma i-i can just go wash this off” taemin said as he poured banana milk on his head as a makeshift shower of sorts. Minho escorted him to the water fountains, dribbling a basketball as he did at literally all times ever.

“Minho oppa what’s basketball” taemin innocently asked.

“Ball is life” was the reply, Minho looking soulfully at the ceiling as if staring into the very eyes of god

“Ooooooh! That sounds so fun! Oppa-HYUNG you’re so dedicated and tall and amazing and I’m so...me” he said, sunshine still falling on him even though they were indoors, with the first hint of disappointment he’s ever shown in his whole Kawaii, Clueless life.

“Just you?” Minho yelled, dribbling his basketball faster. “NO”

“wae”

“Taemin you are so...kawaii” minho didn’t realize he said the words until he said them. A single tear rolled down his cheeks as he let himself realize...Taemin neomu yeppeo. He didnt want to admit it….but could these doki dokis…..be gay doki dokis????? It couldnt be. He continued dribbling.

“Minho ophyung..” taemin said dreamily as he stared into his chocolate orbs. This was it...he had fallen in love with the coolest jock in the school! But how could this happen? Taemin was just a lowly science nerd who even thoough was extremely pretty and beautiful nobody @ school liked him except for Key umma (and jonghyun but again, did he really evene go to this school? How old even is he???? Does he havea home?)

Minho pushed taemin away. “Taemi i’m not gay okay and also...you’re in the sciencwe club. That’s fucking dumb” “Bbut……...hyoppa………...without science would ball still be life?”

“Ball is ALWAYS life!!!1!” Minho shouts in his face. Still dribbling.

“What if it isn’t??” Taemin challenged Minho’s way of life for the first time.”Without science, you wouldn’t even HAVE life!!”

This was too much thinking for Minho’s basketball brain to handle. Suddenly, he felt like he was going to explode. Key Umma hoped he would explode. “What if…..” taemin started, shakily, already in tears, “what if you’re–” “N O” minho answered, sprinting away with his long, gazelle like legs.

“What if…..ur my life……...hyoppa”

Minho was too far away to hear the tragic confession….

KEY’S POV

Today I’m wearing a gucci bedazzled purse, ripped jeans that has a cheetah print on them with black lace at the ends, red converse which have mud all over them from marching band even tho i don’t play an instrument, that’s only for preps! EW! (I dont march either, wwalking is too much work! They carry me on the drums because everyone fucking loves me and worships me like a god, but anyways) My diamond studded earings shone gracefully in the wind as I walked to the stupid jock-ey school holding the hands of the HOTTEST BOY I’VE EVER MET my boyfriend jonghyun! He has an eightpack and literally LIVES in a basketball court. Jonghyun isn’t just my boyfriend he’s also my bitch

Suddenly, Shin Sekyung. And bees. What a stupid whore I hate her because she gets in the way of me and Jjongie!!! Also she has 30 boyfriends already, because shes a prep and a slut, and i only have three! Well, three counting all of jonghyun’s edgy personalities. At least two and a half are straight.

Shin Sekyung and her prep friends look at me. I put my middle finger up at them. I continue making out w my beautiful, hot bf and ignore them.

“What the hell are you doing you motherfuckers!!” Lee Sooman yelled as he ran across the campus, angrily shaking his fists.

“Oh no” Jonghyun said wearing his hot Good Charlotte shirt that I bought for him because I love Good Charlotte and MCR. Gerard Way is soooooooo hot. But not as hot as Jonghyun

“Key umma what’s going on” asked Taemin innocently as he tripped over his -2 sized shoes and fell onto the ground and dropped his banana milk. I had to protect my son from the stupid preps who go to this school that doesn’t even have any real emos in it. Sad!

I ran towards my baby careful not to get my $200 pedicure ruined by the grass

“My lil bab are u okay????? U lil innocent soul” I said as I pet his hair

“Umma what’s gay i don’t know what’s this is!”

I starts screaming that someone has corrupted his baby, even though he himself is the MotherGay, and he cradles Taemin’s perfect little cherub head close to his chest and tells him that he doens’t need to know what a penis is.

“That is only for grown ups!!!! You're too young bby” I said as I shook my head

“I went on the internet with my parents permission last night and looked it up but I just got confused! What’s a penis i don’t?? UNDERSTAND”

I SCREAMED

“TAEBBY YOU DON’T NEED TO KNOW ABOUT PENISES!!!”

“BUT UMMA I THINK I HAVE ONE!!!”

“YOU DONT KNOW THAT! GO TO BED!” “Wwe;re at schcool” he sobbed

“TAEMIN GO TAKE A NAP IT’S NAP TIME FOR SWEET INNOCENT LITTLE BBYS”

I heard balls dibidibidribbling in the distance, getting close and closer. I turned my head it was Minho with at least 50balls!

Minho was such a stupid prep and I put my middle finger up at him. “Go away minho” i yelled sexily, “you must be the reason for my small baby child son’s corruption……...

Minho sneered “psh yea i got a functioning diccccc”

“Umma,” taemin piped up from his nap, “i think my penis likes minho”

“Taemin i’ve” minho started “i’ve come to terms w/ it..i’m Gay but only for you!!!! And only because you look like a girl with your hair!! My bae you’re so beautiful if you just wore contacts and wore a lil makeup..i wanna fuck you btw. But its not gay its just you! Because ur basically a girl!”

Taemin blushed and swept a strand of his long hair away from his face. “Gomawo…. Oppa.. hyung…. What is a fuck? Can you teach me?”

Kibum SCREETCHED and ascended to another plain of reality away from the preps. Hes not dead but like, hes basically in gods hands now

MINHO’S POV

Taemins so hot I wanna have sex with him but from behind so I can pretend he’s a girl. Suddenly i got phone call from my girlfriend yuri who i completely forgot about! She squealed about how hot i was at my lacrossesoccerketball game and then asked something that i didnt care about and then hung up. I went downstairs to cook up my signature “cereal”

I put bananas and honey and spiders and a little bit of granola in it to make it into the perfect meal. I knew Yuri would love it. When did yuri get here? I dont know. I have no sense of what time is, and ive heard its fake anyways so its cool

“Taemin here’s your meal- oh no i mean yuri!!!!!!” yikes!!!!!!!!!

Taemin started crying “minho hyoppadeul what are spiders..why are you doing this to me”

I had to pretend like I didn't know what he was talking about I had to bully him because I have gay feelings that need to be pressed back in my head until i can believe they dont exist anymore because im not gay? Whats a gay? Ive never Heard of that! Shut up

Now I’m back at school, because I don’t know hwy I ever left in the first place, but I have to start bullying Taemin!!! In front of everyone!! No one can know that i am Part of a Gay. mostly the dick part because thats the manliest part

“Fuck you taemin” i said while breaking his arm just by breathing on it. I felt a little bad but then I remembered my social status is really important for my lacrosse scholarship and I’ll only get the $5 in financial aid if I’m the coolest person in school so……………….

I dibidibidribbled a baseball in one hand and pushed Taemin intoa trashcan with the other, smirking the entire time as the rest of the entire student body Laughed at him !! haha!!

Key appeared from behind the trashcan. “HOW DAR E YOU HURT MY PRECIOUS SON”

“Umma what’s death i hear it calling for me” taemins tiny bb eye s blurred with tiny tears..he was hurt and beautiful

Key umma rushes to Taemin’s side and pulls him out, pointing a manicured finger straight at Minho’s face.

“I’M GOING TO KILL YOU YOU STUPID fucking PREP” Key screeches!! He puts up his nails like a cat, having recently got them redone to be Sharp. “knock it off you mediocre dunces!!!!” Lee Sooman yelled from across the hall. He used his special principal powers to teleport us to the prinipals office which was his office actually so it was convenient in many different ways!!

Key takes his gucci purse and WHACKS me in the eyeball with it!

“ANI!” I screamed as my contact fell out and glasses magically appeared onto my face. I hid my disgusting face. Nobody could know that I swear vglasses i wanna fuckin diE

“NOW I’M AN UGLY STR8 not gay NERD!!!! HOW DARE YOU!!!!”

Taemin starts crying, because he thinks his miinho hyoppa thinks he’s ugly because he wears Glasses like a NErd. Taemins half dead corpse whispered from the floor, “omo…..i………...wear glasses too Hyungpa..”

“Taemin my soul mate,,,” i reached out to grab taemins hand in my pinky finger because he’s so small. “I want to tell you i- I am only part of a “gay” for you”

Taein cried “wgat is part of gay...are you a buy of sexual?”

“Yes,” minho whispers, “i’m buying a sexual… my peen…. Lovs u….”

“Minho hyoppa” taemin croaks from his half dead state “what’s a peen?”

“GODDAMMIT TAEMIN” KEY SCREAMS “YOU CAN’T KNOW WHAT A PEEN IS”

“Is it what i have?” taemin reaches down to show key the extra leg he thought he had in his pants. Between his legs wasn’t a penis but….is that senator Bernie Sanders??!?!?!??!?!

Minho gasps. “Here’s how Bernie can still win!!!”

Then Minho dribbled a basketball into the distance with Taemin hanging off of the ball.

“It’s time to dibidibidie, taemin”

“What’s a die?” taemin asked

Key umma could be heard yelling in the distance, but MInho was already dribbling Taemin into the light. As they approached what was (probably) heaven, and not just a hallucination due to taemins pain meds which were actually just bird seeds(key umma would never let him take real drugs!! Those are DANGEROUS!!), krystal, aka G O D, appeared unto them and stated her wisdom,

“Taekai is real..minho who?”

“Whos kai this is 2010”

“I’m from the future and you’re gay” “Whats gay”

“Sorry did i say kai i mean...nickhyun. Taenickhun is real”

Suddenly onew appeared eating chicken, trippping ovr everything.

Taemin looked at him and gasped. “Hyung… i havent seen you in years… since you died in the skeleton war………..“

“I was off raising a heavenly chicken farm!! I’m marying a fried chicken leg!! Pls come to my wedding in Chicken Heaven” onew said

“ENOUGH” said Krystal aka G O D as she clapped her thunderous hands, obliterating Onew from existence. He doesn’t belong in 2minjongkey universe.

Taemin started crying. “Where did hyung go, minho hyoppa?”

“Taemin…” Minho said, trying to shield his tiny bf from the pains of death but ultimately failing to do so. “Sometimes people jst fucking leave ok. Jsut like my dad”

“But minho we just went to heaven and god didnt let me die”

“God doesnt let angels die”

Taemin wings grew just then...it was then that everyone remembered he was a Literal Angel. A literal angel. Actually.

“Is this why you didn’t know anything about sex?” Minho asks.

“The only sex ed in heaven is Abstinence” taemin tells him “so you’re going to hell”

“Well damn can we fix that” minho asked, still fucking dribbbling a basketball. Or something

“But hyoppa i don’t know how to sex you have to teach me ;) bb”

Key materialized from the got damn toilet, previously having brunch with GOD, and clapped his sparkly magenta, not green bcs green is for dicks(except jonghyuns dick bcos key liked that one) manicured hands twice, transporting them to who fucking knwos “LISTEN BITCH” Shin Sekyung roared as she tore out Key’s sparkly pink hair extensions. Key tried to hit Sekyung (jfc poor girl i can see her funeral) with his gucci purse but missed, flinging it into the distance as he screamed.

Key turned, telling his super hot muscular popular bad-boy boyfriend Jjong to tell this Prep Bitch Shin Sekyung that he was dating Key now!!! And she needed to get her Prep Ass away from him!! “Jonghyun. Buy me a new purse” key said to his boyfriend, flicking his hair in a diva-ish manner and bounced his soft hips (i read something like this in a fanfic holy shit)

Event hough Jonghyun is still in high school and never goes to class and has no job, he has rich ass parents, so he can buy Key anything he wants. He pulls out his dad’s credit card and tells Key to pick out any purse he wants!!!

Key picks out the purse that those ugly preps would dislike the most, and makes a mental note to slap all of them with it.

Jonghyun buys the purse for him and gives it to his diva boyfriend. Then taemin appears.

“Umma i ran out of banana milk :( minho said i could drink his but i don’t know what he means… i didn’t see him with any milk” Key Umma started screeching into oblivion, and Jonghyun had to wave aroudn his credit card with promises of a new outfit to get him to calm down and come back to the mortal plain of existence.

That’s when Key Umma ran straight to Minho!!! That PREP had corrupted his baby!!!

“HE WAS INNOCENT U BITCH!!” Key screams in Minho’s face. “YOU TOLD HIM WHAT A PEEN IS!!”

Minho frowned, dribbling his basketball more aggressively hsi totally stoic cold face(trademark) existing.

“But he has a peen”

“THAT DOESN’T MEAN HE KNEW WHAT IT WAS!!1!!”

Taemin, sipping on a new bottle of banana milk that Jonghyun had pulled out of his ass for him, only shifted his eyes between his umma and his new (secret!!) boyfriend. Key Umma couldn’t know that Minho was his (secret!!) boyfriend! No one could know, because then everyone would know that Minho was part of a gay, and Minho didn’t want anyone to know that. He might lose his spot on the basketball team since Jonghyun is the only gay allowed!!!

“I didn’t tell him.” minho said. “Telling him might make people think… i’m a…. gay...w hich i’m not. I have a girlfriend her name is yuri. Shes really hot and i know this because i’m straight”

Taemin’s eyes filled with tears. “Hyoppa….”

Minho pushed Taemin into a trashcan again, the banana milk flying from Taemin’s hands and up into the air, only to open compeltely and spill onto the top of his head. His tears mixed with the banana milk flowing down his chubby baby cheeks. He couldn’t believe his Minho hyoppa would say he was a Straight.

“Key Umma, what is a straight?” Taemin asks through banana tears.

“I’M GOING TO KILL THAT PREP MINHO!!”

Key umma, finally so fed up with that DUMB PREP!! flew (a/n: very literally!!) at Minho, hitting him in the head with his brand new gucci purse!!

Minho’s brain popped straight out of his skull, and it was actually basketball this entire time!!!

Minho’s body was still working without it’s basketball brain, and so he reached over and started dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.

Suddenly Amy walked in she was so cool!! She’s an OC shh.

“Who are you?” key asked. “Another dumb prep?!!!! Are you here to steal my popular hot muscular jonghyun?”

(A/N buy press it on iTunes)

Suddenly, Amy hovered in the air and magicalyl turned into Shin Sekyung!!! THAT PRE P BITCH!!

Key threw his purse straight at that Prep Bitch’s head, killing Shin Sekyamy instantly. She ascended into Prep Heaven and haunted them all for the rest of eternity.

Suddenly, her soul turned into a piece of chicken. Onew appeared and picked up what was left, munching on it happily. “My kokoro goes dugeun dugeun for chicken” he said when he had finished.

Taemin gasped. “Hyung!!!!!!!! You’re back!!!!!” and then he started crying again, clutching minho’s shirt wetting it (with tears xdxdxd)

“I must go” onew said. “I need to finish marrying my chicken wife.” and without another word, he evaporated, leaving behind a trail of chicken grease and nuggets.

Out of sudden and behind the grease and dust the gucci slippers appeared.

Taemin gasped. “Hyoppa…. Look… they’re beautiful….”

Key took the slippers right off of Taemin’s feet and hit him over the head with them.

“DO NOT” Key screamed “DO THIS TO MY INNOCENT PERFECT BABY CHILD.”

“But I am your innocent perfect baby child” taemin stuttered, banana tears welling up in his eyes.

“THEN DO NOT,” KEY SCREAMED “DO THIS”

With that, Key disappeared into the void. To finally burn those shits

Taemin cried harder. “Hyoppa… why did he take them from me…. My kokoro is so sad… please make me happy again”

Minho kept dibidibidribbling his basketbrain.

Taemin didn’t seem to notice that Minho no longer had the top of his skull, which was where his basketbrain fell out of. It was okay, because Taemin loved his Minho hyoppa no matter what!!!

“Minho hyoppa…. Do you think… i’m a gay?”

“You can’t be a gay,” minho tells him. “Because i can’t be in love with a gay. I am a straight.”

Taemin starts crying. Key Umma can be heard screaming sassily from the Void(which now was pink)

“I can be the only gay on the basketball team” bling bling says.(a/n: bling bling is jonghyun xD)

Jonghyun, furious at the thought of not being the only gay on the team, shoves Minho away from him. In the Heat of the Moment, Jonghyun accidentally pushes Minho into Taemin!!! Minho was already dead, his body dribbling his basketbrain post-mortem, but Taemin, who was still alive, gets shoved into a trashcan for the last time. His head cracks open from hitting the edge of the trashcan, and a bottle of bananamilk spills out of his head. That was the end of Taemin, for he ascended into heaven so he could take his rightful place as Perfect Baby Virgin Angel of Heaven (trademark).

Jonghyun looks down at them sadly, a single tear rolling down his cheek. “Dibidibidis… his name was minho.”

Key, furious from his place in the void, literally fucking launches himself at Jonghyun, and the two of them blow up at the impact. A Gay Rainbow is left in their place, permanently.

Shin Sekyamy ressurrects from the dead, and she laughs maniacally. This had been her plan all along - to get them to all kill each other!!! Now she could be the Real Queen Bee!! Key Umma Whom???

Dibidibidone.

#shinee #2min #jongkey #onchicken

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vertigoambrosia · 7 years ago

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well wxw is taking forever with the english version of hamburg so whatever lets go

the hamburg show not the city itself

yeah so of course this starts with Meaningful Speech

erste mal

zwanzig mal

die markthalle is gut

german people say einfach a lot and i can never remember what it means (’just”?)

pls have my baby boy win

[i dont think they’ll do a title change tho :( ]

haha i like how half of hamburg will always hate bobby

it’s the city rivalry thing, isn’t it? i can’t understand what he’s saying

..he didn’t come out in the bremen flag today though

idk what he just said but tas was scandalized

LMAO did he make a countdown clock until he can leave hamburg?

this boy is just gonna lick someone’s hand someday, isn’t he?

omg tarkan having to hold lucky with both arms

ok i like that lucky learned from the last time and didn’t get his finger broken

oh bobby don’t try and do zack sabre jr bendy shit, you can’t pull that off

did lucky miss the double stomp? it looked kinda weird but they cut real quick

dammit tarkan

you’re lucky your lil top ponytail is adorable

bro you had to know you’d get lucky dq’d too, you weren’t helping him win

wait ok i don’t know what that clock is for

one year 2 months 24 days? certainly not how long he’s held the title

yaaasss lufisto!

i don’t actually follow her as closely as i should but i hadn’t seen this gear before and it’s sick

it’s so weird that ‘german suplex’ is that way in german too

it’s just odd to realize that an actual german just yelled GERMAN

oh shit! def didn’t expect lufisto to get the win! awesome!

v. glad that burning hammer ended it - it is NOT OKAY when someone uses a burning hammer and the other person kicks out

julian pace is (not) a car

david is boi who spins

god i wish he’d drop ‘bernie sanders of pro wrestling’ and ‘really good at twitter’

he’s never gonna, but he should

more importantly though, looks like he got a haircut

sassy lounge time

ok julian pace doesn’t want to be a car boy can i call him fastboy

oh ew who in that arena is doing the 2..sweet

probably the same dipshits singing I DON’T UNDERSTAND WHAT YOU’RE SAYING

EVERYONE ELSE IS CHANTING SOMETHING ELSE

oh it’s just ‘cream in your coffee’ in some “melody”

he just sat on him! julian just literally sat on david

wtf y he kick out of sit n spin

that move looks too cool

we interrupt this post to remind you that PCO is fucking bonkers and it’s great

HAHAHA WHY DOES DRAGAN LOOK LIKE SUCH A FUCKBOY TODAY

the earrings, the backward hat, the vaping, his fucking knuckles

and of course, the jacket that has the design on paper cups (i actually wanna know if that was custom or if he bought it somewhere)

this is such a Look

though it’s probably not smart to wear dangly earrings to a fight

ok good he took them out

veit meuller’s singlet is both nip slippy and just like...the straps are so think it looks like they could rip

oh jeez that did not look good for dragan’s arm

no :(

i was liking dragan getting momentum too..kind of an abrupt end but ok :(

i’m not into veit..like, he’s fine i guess, but doesn’t enthrall me

it’s ok dragan you’re 2 and 2 now

noooo :(

i am upset

noooo more talking i don’t understand

awww did he say hamburg were the best fans in germany :3

actually got spoiled for this match right before i started watching...

francis has become so effortlessly douchey

shoutouts to the dude yelling at jay skillet

god pete bouncer is so hot

pete: *aggressivly unzips hoodie*

hahaha does this guy work for wxw or is he just some random fan

OMG THEY HIRED A FLUNKY TO CARRY THEIR BELTS

and so, right before a match full of boys i like...i lost attention and wandered off for several hours because my brain is trash

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low-keylonely-blog · 8 years ago

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ATTENTION!!

hello, I am a 16 yr old white girl from southeastern Wisconsin. very vanilla, I’m aware. in response to my “WANTED: cute boy” post, here are a list of my physical and mental traits, so that you can determine if you would like to talk to me.

PHYSICAL: ☆ 5'6" ☆ brown curly hair, about shoulder length. THICC HAIR. ☆ brown eyes that are lighter in the center (there’s a freckle on the left one) ☆ relatively skinny, not very strong. a bit of a tummy, but I suck in so you’d never notice. ☆ chewed nails. I’ve mostly stopped tho. ☆ braces! w/ rubber bands! somewhere between February 2017 and June 2017 the braces come off and I once again enjoy having a bright and happy smile! ☆ 4 very light birthmarks! the one on my knee looks like an archipelago. ☆ a bit of acne, but only on the forehead. ☆ STRONG BROWS ☆ bigger bottom lip, thinner top lip ☆ pouty, but only bc of braces ☆ large knuckles bc I used to play basketball. if I try, I can make it impossible to let go of my hand, bc my knuckles touch and form a barrier. ☆ tiny wrists. both pop when I turn them one way or the other. ☆ bumps on my arms. it’s genetic. they’re non contagious and not like acne, so popping them doesn’t work. ☆ left tit is a tiny bit bigger than right tit. ☆ relatively high cheekbones ☆ “innie” belly button ☆ weirdly lumpy hips. I’m pretty bony. ☆ legs as long as the sky is blue. ☆ relatively cute butt. not bony. ☆ stretch marks at the top of my thighs, just under my booty. not sure where they came from. ☆ usually bruised knees, especially in summer ☆ scar tissue on left ankle from when my dad dropped a ladder on my foot. it scraped the bone in my leg as it went down, so the scar tissue reminds. ☆ my doctor when I was a baby said I have popsicle toes! the 2nd-4th are double jointed ☆ hyper flexible overall. not as bendy as I used to be, but still pretty bendy. ☆ my dad’s parents were both German, but both were very dark looking for German. therefore, my dad can pass as Italian. it just means I turn dark orange when I tan, and tan very quickly. ☆ some eczema on my chest, but it is cleaning up. ☆ very out of shape. I can not run for more than 20 seconds without wondering if I can stop yet ☆ squishy?? I lack muscles so I’m very comfortable to snuggle, especially bc I’m flexible enough to fit anywhere but squishy enough to function as a pillow, especially my tummy and tits.

MENTAL/EMOTIONAL: ☆ A.D.D. easily distracted. ☆ easily confused, but quick to understand once everything is explained to me. ☆ guilty of savior behavior like you wouldn’t believe ☆ possibly anxious? parents don’t have time to get me diagnosed tho ☆ desperate to please people. I have limits, but I LOVE making people happy. ☆ I’m rlly fuckin funny ok most of my jokes are specific to my close friends or my childhood but once I’m around you for more than 3 months I’m rlly rlly funny bc we have memories together and I know you well ☆ very paranoid. overactive imagination led to some rlly freaky nightmares as a child, some of which are recurring. ☆ afraid of being forgotten, not good enough, my closet, the dark, inanimate objects coming to life and coming after me (especially doors and anything with legs, like tables and standing mirrors), and being killed in the shower. ☆ easily scared. can’t stand suspense or horror movies. ☆ semi obsessive?? like my friends and my hypothetical potential s/o are so cool and I love them and talk about them often. ☆ redundant. my life is boring. ☆ very very talkative. it’s a little annoying. ☆ easily bored, especially when I want to travel or get sick of how things are going. ☆ kinda rude? but not intentionally? I try to be kind to everyone but sometimes I come off as salty ☆ very passionate ☆ very defensive, especially of friends and s/o, and usually family ☆ loud :-/ ☆ easily excited ☆ interested in what you have to say, but will probably cut you off mid sentence bc my social intuition is lacking ☆ chronic liar >:-( definitely my least favorite trait, but one I haven’t been able to shake. they range from little white lies to just pretending things didn’t happen or that they’re fine. ☆ the last 3 years of my life have absolutely fried my brain. I’m very tired and very wounded. ☆ attaches quickly ☆ separation anxiety, but moreso just afraid of losing people I care about ☆ very self-centered :-/ ☆ relatively bullheaded. I don’t often think things through. ☆ if I have to face the music, odds are I’ll stick earplugs in and run away ☆ usually very positive! the world is a cool place with some very cool people in it!

LIKES: ☆ film, the art of ☆ cry movies ☆ and a bit of Beyoncé, catey shaw, lana del rey, halsey, … ☆ g-eazy, blackbear, childish gambino, frank ocean, watsky, drake, john mayer, sting, mansionz, relient k, one direction (including all solo work), twenty one pilots (but not rlly blurryface), washed out, a bit of fall out boy and panic! at the disco, arctic monkeys, troye sivan, a bit of the 1975, walk the moon, … ☆ the music from downton abbey and victoria and poldark ☆ history, especially sociology and foreign cultures and mythology ☆ politics, even tho I get too heated about it ☆ sci-fi! soft stuff is ok, but the hard stuff is rlly rlly good. ☆ fiction! ☆ writing non-fiction! ☆ slamming biased news outlets (r.i.p. bill o'reilly) ☆ working backstage crew in theater! my sister is majoring in stage management, so it’s a family affair. ☆ plants! flowers, succulents, cacti, even trees and shrubs! ☆ DOGS ☆ my bird, Elsa. we named her after Elsa in frozen bc her tummy matches the color of the character’s dress ☆ slam poetry?? I’m a dork ☆ activism! get out and get loud! ☆ volunteer work, especially through my church (I’m not sure if I’m gonna stay catholic but it’s how I’m being raised rn) ☆ shopping. it’s so satisfying to bring home something beautiful off the clearance rack. ☆ concept art for film and fashion ☆ interior design and architecture ☆ THE PROPERTY BROTHERS ON HGTV ☆ Steven Universe?? it’s actually a rlly good show. it makes me cry a lot. ☆ Grey’s Anatomy. another good cry show. ☆ purple anything. it calms me down. ☆ soft blankets and pillows ☆ laying down for the night. ☆ meditation and yoga! ☆ photography! I live next to the woods on 2 sides of my house, so it’s the perfect place for photoshoots. ☆ coloring books! the pretty ones, not the kids ones. ☆ reading! I’m usually too busy but it’s so nice when I have time ☆ CRYSTALS AND MINERALS AND PRETTY STONES. I have a growing collection, 95% I found on my own. ☆ driving on empty country roads. ☆ swimming, even tho I’m afraid of deep water ☆ hiking! ☆ chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream ☆ purging old clothes ☆ Internet friends! long distance romantic relationships are awful, but the platonic ones are always fun ☆ learning things you never thought possible ☆ speculation lmao ☆ hugs and physical contact ☆ pressure. I enjoy feeling close to things. I sleep with a billion blankets at all times bc I like the feeling of the weight on me ☆ the concept of Atlas in Greek mythology ☆ in depth discussion about almost anything! I love talking to people! ☆ barbecue chicken pizza from California pizza kitchen

DISLIKES: ☆ people who refuse to acknowledge global warming, white supremacy, sexism, or any fault on either end of the political spectrum ☆ unsolicited dick pics ☆ 99% of country music ☆ metal or screamo music ☆ slut shaming ☆ ignorance in any shape or form ☆ watermelon ☆ Brussel sprouts and asparagus and peas ☆ fish that isn’t fried or marinated in bourbon or teriyaki ☆ oranges ☆ bananas ☆ pop music ☆ slapstick humor ☆ most comedic movies (see above) ☆ cleaning ☆ zara larsson ☆ feminists who hate men (girl we are EQUAL not ABOVE) ☆ the fact that the USA does not have separation of church and state ☆ cold weather ☆ sand in my shoes ☆ most movies featuring talking animals (not counting Dumbo, the Lion King, Babar, Finding Nemo, and a couple others) ☆ those who put others down ☆ those who refuse to listen to both sides ☆ the fact that every Earth year the moon moves 2 inches farther away from Earth and it’s eventually going to be flung into space and we’ll never see it again ☆ white males in positions of authority. your turn is over, pal. ☆ Christopher Walken’s face ☆ John Travolta ☆ the entire movie/musical Grease ☆ when radio stations play the same 10 songs all day long ☆ overused slang ☆ dead memes that are still in circulation ☆ repetition from year to year ☆ bad school photos ☆ pineapple on pizza ☆ basic pages on Instagram ☆ dog types that have been bred to the point of inherent or genetic medical issues ☆ carpet that isn’t soft ☆ bad paint jobs ☆ jumbo tattoos. I love the tiny ones you don’t expect to see. ☆ costume jewelry ☆ asymmetry ☆ bad habits ☆ when everything is black and white ☆ when it’s a gray area ☆ the porn industry as a whole ☆ massive corporations as a whole ☆ people who use deadnames or the wrong pronouns on purpose ☆ driving stick ☆ pulling weeds ☆ vacuuming ☆ loud noises (the unexpected ones) ☆ same old, same old ☆ people who don’t bathe often ☆ when my hair grows too long but I can’t get a haircut for weeks ☆ people who won’t try new things ☆ when anything or anyone dies ☆ the feeling of not being in control ☆ not knowing.

feel free to message me if you’re interested! there’s much more, but this is all I could think of for now. congrats if you made it to the end!

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