#ohhh will BadSalmonella write something else about Camelot? 🥺 YES. but IT'S NOT GONNA BE

[badsalmonella]

Unhinged Guinevere Lancelot propaganda:

- First of all I stan a dysfunctional ship so don't come at me with a write up about how they are not getting a good grade in couples counseling. That's the🤌🏼 SAUCE🤌🏼 for me

- They spends the middle section of the show exchanging catatonic levels of eye contact across a stage the size of a mega mall parking lot and honestly? It's nastier than whatever you can find me on pornhub. FACTS.

- The radioactive levels of VIBES he is giving off when he says "No one can refuse your wish~"

- but the SECOND they actually hook up my guy Lancelot is ON THE FLOOR. In his SLUTTY BLOUSE cross necklace CLUTCHED and Genny is like "....heyyyy..... you're a nice guy 🫤 but uhhhh......"

- If they existed in a modern context Lancelot would be like "post sex waffles???? Shaped like hearts??? M'lady???🥺" And Guinevere would be pulling on the pants, already half way out the door like "no." And Lancelot would idk do some true freak shit like put his hand on the pan to punish himself for low rizz levels

- "Your Majesty~" "jjjjaCk ass". I wish I was joking when I say I lost all class when I saw this live and let out a small yell in my seat AT THE LINCOLN CENTER.

- I do have a bootleg though where he immediately smirks after and I'm taking notes sweetheart. That's going in the diagnosis write up babe. <3

- We gotta unpack the exchange between Arthur and Genny where he calls her out like "uhhh??? I know you don't like the dude but your hate is obsessive 🤨"

- The fact that even Arthur knows what's up. Oh my GOD.

- WHERE IS THE C L A S S GUINEVERE?!??

- The fact that Lancelot apparently just hangs out, outside rooms where Guinevere goes??? But also the second Arthur is like "she's actually coming here right now" he's getting the FUCK out of there.

- Guinevere twirling her hair around her finger like "ohhhh the knights will kill Lancelot? 😍 Murder him dead you say? And then what? 😏 Teehee"

- " yOU'LL OPEN WIDE HIM? 😩💦" I'm also putting that in the notes too girlie.

- Guinevere is like if someone doesn't make me come in the next 5 seconds I'm gonna start killing hostages and Lancelot is like "hey what if no nut November was every month? :)" but that doesn't stop them #lovewins

- I'm constantly torn between I think if Genny called him the specialest lil guy who's going to heaven he'd insta-nut, but also I think you'd get similar results if she called him the saddest wet napkin of a man. Thoughts? Vote below! Kidding

- I KNOW that potato show they attended had RADIOACTIVE vibes. Families were probably there just to see the qualities of a prize winning potato and they were out here idk rubbing pinkies and going on about how King Arthur doesn't give them enough attention :(((

- THE FACT THAT Guinevere is like "why won't someone become ridiculously obsessed with me? :/" and then Lancelot does and she's like "oh GOD not like that" and then he's like "oh ok then I'll leave" and she's like "NOT LIKE THAT EITHER". <3 I love her and she's never done anything wrong ever<3

- I think if we gave them facebook in the middle point of the events of the show, they would be THE MOST ANNOYING PEOPLE on your feed.

- Courtly love is really just medieval edging if you think about it.

- I like how the moment that broke these two, where they decided they couldn't hold back any longer is them speaking mediocre French. He said "terriblement" like THAT and she was like "uGH. I can't NOT fuck him"

- The fact that WAY too many people are aware of their thirst. They just do this shit. In PUBLIC. IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN.

- And I haven't even brought up the King Arthur of it all.... The fact that the guy who likes BIRDS gets around more than these two. INSANE.

- who calls the other Arthur in bed by accident? CALL THE NUMBER BELOW TO CAST YOUR VOTE