#ohfckitscable

[deadpoolmerchandise]

"No no no you're right. If he isn't here then he's in trouble... or dead... damn it all I guess we're going to have to do this raw." Wade started fumbling around his utility belt, counting off items in a mumble to himself. When he was done he slapped the flats of his hands on his pectorals. "Minimal effort! Let's go, if Killbrews' guard are smart then they are already expecting us anyhow. You're my element of surprise.. that thing come with night vision?"

Wade waved for Cable to follow him and he started at a light jog towards the west. "Should we come up with a team name?" He prattled on as he started running from shady place to shady place.

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[merc-with-a-mouth-69]

Did you take my fuckin' rifle, Wade?

@ohfckitscable

Depends. I’ve taken a lot of people’s rifles. Which one is yours? The one that’s clearly compensating for something else?

[deadpool-wade-wilson]

Cable points a gun at Wade's head with one hand, holding up a sticky note that says "<3 you! - DP" with the other.

"Did you write this?, and if you did, where the fuck is my rifle?"

@ohfckitscable

Aww daddy’s got a gun <3

but your little riffle is safely stored away with my other trinkets that I horde like a Wyvern <3

Well if it’s yours I took like a shit tons of riffles

[deadpool-original]

Cable holds up a stickynote that says "<3 you! -DP" to this deadpool with a scowl. "Did you write this? And if you did, where the fuck did you put my rifle, asshat?"

@ohfckitscable

"No that wasn't me, but I could definitely love you." He shifts to read the stickynote better.

[officialmakingthechimichangas]

Oh yeah there’s also a cable if you want to bother him. Super rare. I haven’t seen many around.

@ohfckitscable

@the-mercenary-with-a-mouth

HOLY SHIT, HOW MANY OF US ARE ON HERE?!

I don’t even know tbh I lost count. Another Deadpool made a list of all the Deadpool’s and Logan’s but it may need updating. Anyways, welcome! I’m the resident chimichanga god! Would you like some chimis? I also provide piña coladas.

[deadpoolmerchandise]

Crossing the Hero Line

From Here

Plot: Deadpool and Cable team up to put an end to Killbrew's up and coming human weapon program. Only Killbrew is no longer the old man Wade used to know. Now a twelve-year-old boy, Killbrew is a clone imbued with the memories of the past, and the memories of everything he did to Deadpool in The Workshop. Will Wade's need for reparations of the past make him do the unspeakable and kill a child?

Staring: @deadpoolmerchandise, @ohfckitscable

[deadpoolmerchandise]

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

"New York City!! .. Oh and don't you worry, Sabes real nick name is Sabey-baby, simply put.. because he's a wuss. I really don't say it often enough to his face.." And for five miles Wade went on and on about how much Sabretooth sucks

Somewhere in an abandoned yard in the old decaying industrial era part of New York City Wade and his new consenting side kick Cable were waiting. Wade kicked the dust off the rail of a no longer in service rail track and looked at his watch. "Where is that Weasel! Some friend he is... you ever have friends that tell you they'll meet you at sunset with a bag of guns but never show! Congrats Cable you are officially my new best friend... to solidify your position you have to kill Weasel, wadda ya say pall? Wanna be my best friend?"

Really Wade was probably, most likely, but still probably leave some room for doubt, kidding about offing his best friend and playboy channel subscription cosigner.

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

"WHat! NO! I wasn't touching where your butt might have sat on this chair! No sir, not my hand!" Wade walked from where he was fast enough to be the first out of the door.

"Why is it every time I see you I think your gun gets bigger. What are you aiming at with that thing? Wendigos? That's what Sabes hunts up in Canada for sport, I tried to get him to promise to make me a coat from his next one but he doesn't read any of my texts." Wade kept walking in the direction of New York City, which was six miles away by foot, but Wade wasn't about to tell Cable that.

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

"Right, right right go on and shoo now while I touch all your things with the cleaner of my two hands." Wade stated dismissively as he took in his surroundings, and just like he promised he touched things. "So this is how my other half lives... tasteful minimalism... probably a collection of motorcycles out back and his own California shaped pool... Which one of these is your secret sex room Mr. Gray." Wade shouted as he continued looking around. "Show me your gun and I'll show you mine."

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

"Oooo a coconut red bull..." He pulled the can out of the refrigerated shelf, popping it open before closing the door. "Cabbee-baby are you complaining about my choice in a second outing together as a team-up? You said yes! If you had said no, we could have waited for our second date next year at the Monster Jam World Monster Truck Finals."

Wade took out the wad of cash from earlier and tossed it on the counter on his way out. "You mean I get to see where you live. I'm picturing tastefully decorated brownstone? Minimalist bach pad? Rat hole behind a dumpster? I won't judge."

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

Wade's head shot over to the sound of the cash register sliding open. "Where were you when the ATM ate my card last week! So useful..." Wade tossed back the half-eaten donut in his hand. In the distance the sound of sirens were getting louder. "According to Sabretooth's latest Tumblr post, Killbrew is settin' up his workshop again, and I got a biiigg problem with that. But here's not the place to chuck all my unprocessed trauma."

Wade walked over and took the bills from there slots one by one, rolling it up and shoving it in one of the utility pouches on his belt. "I'm thirsty, wanna hit up a seven eleven and talk casual murder?" Wade asked as he fiddled with his teleportation device. Once activated it teleported the two to the parking lot of a seven eleven, just blocks away from the Prospect Park in Brooklyn.

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

Wade took back his now empty hand and licked the light remnants of glaze off his finger. "Ugh such a waste of food, this is why you Boomers are turning the planet to shit." Wade shoved a whole donut in his mouth.

"Fer-smer-shea-grr-ner-ghorey." Wade talked through his full mouth. A few seconds of silence followed as he made room in his mouth for words to escape coherently. "And that's why we should team up on my latest little take down mission."

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

Wade flipped the bottom half of his face mask up to expose his mouth. "You kiss your wife with that dirty mouth.. I'm not eating these anymore..." He let the tray fall from his hands, the metal clanging on the floor, the donuts scattering. Wade grabbed a plain donut and shoved half of it in his mouth.

"Is it weird that I think you comin' here to wish me a happy birthday has some ulterior motives? I know.. crazy me... but if anyone was gonna find anyone first I figured it would be me... can you eat this long cream filled one next?" Wade pressed the confectionary towards Cable's face. "Open realll wide..."

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

"The plan was always 'free donuts'." Wade walked behind the counter, sliding open the display doors to behold a glimpse of heaven. He clapped his hands together in excitement.

"I'm licking the chocolate off each and every one of these while making hard eye contact... not with you... with a picture of Bea Arthur I keep with me everywhere." He flipped out the little photo from inside one of his utility pockets. "You wanna eat the ones I lick or ... wait let me guess!... mmmm sprinklesssss. Am I right?"

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”

[deadpoolmerchandise]

Wade stumbled off Cable's back. "Your shoulder are so tense, good thing my night job is message therapy, there's an online coupon for a discount to a happy ending... We're in Canada, can't you smell the poutine and ice hockey in the air?" Wade pushed pass the people in line in the door, much to their grumbling.

"Oh thank malaria baby jesus the light is on... OKay everyone time to go buy-buy now." Wade shouted and pulled out on of his pistols, firing off two shots that echoed alongside the sharp screams of startled people. "Ugh I hate crowds, more people touch my butt than you think... crank up the donuts people! Spider-man is hungy!"

Ugh…happy fucking birthday Wade.

@ohfckitscable

“H-HOOooolllyyy s!$t. You’re here too? Some adorable puppeteer chose to be you on this platform? Where have you been hiding my cybernetic gordita, tell me how much you miss me…. Of course thank you for remembering my birthday, I only reminded you constantly whenever we’re together but that’s not the most important part of our team-up, or the most fun.”