#ohboi this was an absolute JOY to write!

[moonraccoon-exe]

What's the story behind Ignis acquiring Ulric's Kukris? Maybe Nyx left instructions that upon his death his daggers are to be delivered to one Ignis Stupeo Scientia. And as soon as Ignis comes into possession of his lover's weapons, he's immediately aware of Nyx's passing. Although no-one's hip to Ignis' and Nyx's relationship, Gladio certainly knows what's up. He's the one who brought them together. And he'll be their to pick up the pieces of Ignis' shattered heart.

(This is on the “newest” half of the entries in myinbox, but I couldn’t resist, have mercy on me.)

Ah, yes, the story of Nyx Ulric, the Kukris,Gladiolus Amicitia, and Ignis Scientia. 

It started as a joke, you know? Only a way for ayoung eighteen year old Gladio to annoy a seventeen year old Ignis Scientia,who only had one year training for Crownsguard so far, and who once admitted ina casual conversation with his best friend the Shield-to-be that his biggestinspiration was “possibly” the Glaive known as The Hero. Ignis had commentedthat as a way to hurt (in a harmless and playful way) his cocky best friend byletting him know Gladio wasn’t his biggest inspiration (though he was, at thesame levels than Nyx, though in a very different way), but he wasn’tlying. 

A bit too much into it, Ignis accidentally talked aboutthe things and reasons why he looks up to Nyx Ulric so much. Gladio noticed hisfriend got a bit carried away, which is unusual but very gratifying to see inIgnis Scientia. However, instead of getting serious about it, and in whatseemed like a joke but hid more subtext than Ignis realized for a couple yearsmore, Gladio started teasing him about “having a crush on Nyx”, bombarded himwith questions of “how handsome do you think Nyx is”, “have you seen your herotoday?” and some other things to tease him. 

At some point, while training with Gladio in thesame room than a few other couple Glaives, the Hero himself included, Gladiostarted teasing his friend on the matter.

“You’re doing particularly good today, Iggy. Tryingto impress someone?”

“It’s called ‘improving’, Gladio, and it hasnothing to do with impressing-”

“I think he’s looking our way.”

“I am not going to fall for such a stupid little-”

“I lied. He’s not looking. But he should. I mean,you’re doing really good. Say, what do you think I call him?”

“Wha-?”

“Besides,he’d be very happy to know that he’s a hero to you too, just in a very particular way.”

“Don’t you dare-”

“But I know you’re shy and won’t tell him. Butdon’t worry, that’s why you’ve got me. I’ll tell him for you.”

“Gladiolus, you can’t be-”

“Watch me.”

Ignis glared at him.

Gladio smirked. 

“Hey, Ulric! My friend here, Ignis, says thatyou’re his hero too-!” 

Nyx heard very well, but he was a bit confused; hedidn’t get close to talk with them and wasn’t sure if he should have thankedthem, because while the young Amicitia was telling him this from across thetraining hall, his friend, who had been complaining to him the entire time,suddenly jumped on him and started trying to furiously beat him up, whileburning red in the face. Gladiolus was laughing and fighting him back. Crowehad nudged at him and made wriggly eyebrows, but Nyx was not sure he wascatching what was happening. 

[Adding a KeepReading]

After that, Gladio started trying to introduce thema little more seriously. Ignis always swore to him he’d never forgive thatfirst impression he gave Nyx Ulric of him, and often denied to say a properhello to the Hero when Gladio insisted because “how can I face him after suchembarrassment? We must have offended him”. Oh, but the young Shield-to-be issmart on his own way, especially for this sort of things.

Without the other two knowing, Gladio ended uptricking things in a way so that both the Glaive and the Advisor-to-be had noother option but to stumble upon each other. Nyx, outgoing and stillremembering about this boy, was first to say hello. Ignis reacted a bitsilently, too shocked and a bit too worried on what sort of behavior he shouldpresent to the famous Glaive, but said hello back. 

And so both started growing fond of each other.Sometimes, Gladio called in sick at the very last minute before his trainingwith Ignis, usually when he knew that the Glaive was at the Citadel and withfree time, hence the perfect replacement. Sometimes, Gladio accidentally forgotsomething at the training hall, so Ignis accompanied him when Gladio decided togo check at the same hour that the Glaive had his own training there.Sometimes, Gladio casually knew where the Glaive used to hang, and happened tohave invited Ignis and other friends there. 

So many times, it casually happened that this orthat happened in Gladio’s life that affected either Nyx’s or Ignis’ in a way sothat both Glaive and Adviser started frequenting each other, until it stoppedbeing weird, and until they started hanging without the need ofcoincidence. 

The years went on. Gladio watched his best friendIgnis interact with the Glaive, each day more and more, and seeing theirfriendship grow.

One day, Gladio asked the two out for a goodevening together somewhere in the city, with Noctis included. However, as ithappens in the strange coincidences of life, that night the prince and theShield were both required for a late meeting with the King and Shield Clarusthat apparently nobody else knew about. The problem was that they phoned Ignisand Nyx to let them know they wouldn’t make it there when both Ignis and Nyxwere already together at the meeting spot. 

“What a shame.”

“What a shame, indeed. Gladio had the perfectchance for free dinner with these coupons. And they expire today…”

“What a shame…”

“Indeed, what a shame…” 

There was silence. The wind was chilly and bothcould take the perfect subconscious excuse of shielding half of the face intheir scarves when silence fell upon them. A twenty year old Ignis had gottenused to the Hero as a friend, but it still drove him shy whenever they wereleft alone. Nyx caused impressions in him that nobody else had gotten before,and Ignis had yet not comprehended them. Nyx always seemed to want to go toIgnis’ pace and never pressured him too much, often staying quiet in hispresence and being soft with him without excluding the jokes and pranks. 

The two stood, cold and alone together, knowingwhat was to come but none seeming to dare give a first step. 

“Say…why don’t we make use of the coupons?”

“Oh?”

“Yes, I uhm-”

“Yes.”

“Yes, uhm…I just meant…we can still hang together.Make use of free dinner. If you…want and can, of course. We can…leave, see whenGladio and the prince have another opportunity and-”

“No, no, it’s fine. I mean, the four of us can hanganother time, but…you’re right.”

“Right?”

“Yes.”

“Oh yes, I…”

“Uhm…”

 A clumsy mess of words stumbling on eachother by both talking at the same time. A mess that, nonetheless, ended upconcluding with satisfaction and much less awkwardness. 

“So…let’s go?”

“Yes.” 

A Glaive offering an arm. An Adviser in trainingsmiling, accepting the offer.

Two figures walking under the snow towards a ramenrestaurant with coupons for free dinner, arms entwined, and some laughs.

And, of course, a smiling Gladiolus Amicitia thatenjoyed watching the two greet each other Good Morning the next day, in such asilly and failed attempt at being subtle that Gladio could not help but findthem amusing, and a bit cute. 

The years went on with Ignis and Nyx as an officialcouple, though mostly in secret. Ignis was well known among the Glaivegarrison; a very proud Nyx often talked about him with his comrades, andsometimes brought him along just to say Hello. Nyx started hanging with Ignis’friends, the only ones that knew about them, including the prince, so often hesometimes called him by the name (and usually tried to correct it immediately).A very proud Ignis often talked about him or brought him along if it wasalright with everyone else. Ignis sometimes got to hang with Nyx’s mostintimate friends alone, his only family, and Ignis had not been scared ofbringing Nyx home to have dinner with the adviser’s uncle. 

All in all, the relationship only did but growgiant and wonderful steps with each passing day and week and month. 

Ah, how to forget the first time that Gladio saw ahickey on his friend’s collarbone. Seen by no other but the very same KingRegis himself. Oh, how much Gladio lost the voice laughing when, in the middleof a serious conversation between him, Ignis and the King, the Lucis Caelumstarted smiling like a naïve child, and interrupted Ignis mid-sentence.

“Oooooh, is that a hickey?” the king asked like akid asking ‘is this a kitten!?’. Gladiolus was first to yelp out a ‘What’,while Ignis pulled from his collar by reflex, which did but throw the Shieldinto laughter and ‘Ooooh’ exclamations, while trying to push Ignis’ hands andcollar away to see, among complaints from the adviser. 

“It may be!” Ignis ended up admitting when he wasalready on the floor, Gladiolus straddling him and threatening to lick his faceif he didn’t speak, burning red in the face and trying to pretend this wasnothing. “But it’s only a hickey! It…compromises nothing!” 

And it did not, no. What was compromising was onlya few weeks later, during training with the Glaive. Oh, how to forget that evenbetter time when the Marshal and Nyx had decided to team up against Gladiolus,switching the pairs so each of them got a turn against the other two. After histurn alone, Nyx grew too sweaty from battling these two great warriors, andwent to his bag to change his shirt for a cleaner and fresher one.

It was not on his fault, he had no idea that Ignishad done it hard enough to leave marks. But, oh, the poor silly man gave hisback to the other two and calmly took off his shirt, unaware of the linesmarked on his skin. 

Cor closed the eyes and sighed, but the youngShield was a whole different case.

“Are those nail scratches!?”

“Wha-?”

“Yooooooo!Those are nail marks! Hahaha! You must have done amazing on top to have brokenthrough….his composure! Man, and he keeps them short! How hardwas he doing it to leave marks? Oh boy, you two are losing no time, huh?” 

Needless to say, Nyx could not focus in any battleafterwards, and he had troubles looking at the Marshal to the eyes for somereason. 

And the years continued until leading us to themoment of the prince’s engagement. Ignis, as second hand to Noctis, had itimplicit and explicit on his duty that he was a Must on the formation of theprince’s retinue to escort him to Altissia, place of the events. Gladiolus, asthe prince’s Shield, was another Must. Nyx would have gone, oh, how dearly hewished to, how desperately he wished to, but he was a Kingsglaive, not aPrincesglaive. The Hero was too responsible and honorable, and he felt ineternal debt with King Regis, and took his title and job too seriously. So hedecided to stay where his place was supposed to be; nearby the King, when noton the battlefield. 

Still, Nyx took all the free time he had to be withIgnis. He helped him prepare his baggage, both played together like childrenwhile doing that, chased each other around the suitcases and bed, ignored theclothes to be packed for a moment to cuddle. Nyx offered to train him the daysprior to parting, trying to perfection his partner’s skills for battle evenwhen Ignis was at his same level and even superior from time to time. Nyxhugged him particularly tightly whenever Ignis got to spend the night with him,all night, as if even asleep he was too scared to let go yet. 

And on the last night prior to the prince and hisretinue’s parting, both got to spend the night together. Gladio spent the nightwith his family as did the prince and their fourth companion, like anyonebefore a journey would do. So Nyx and Ignis did the same; they were eachother’s family, so it was only natural they reached for each other without asecond thought. Ignis’ uncle spent great part of the night with them, but leftwith the excuse that he had to go to the king’s side, as asked his duty offirst attendant, not without smiling at them like he knew what being young andin love was. 

Ah, that wonderful night together. They had beensoft and slow with each other during intimacy before, but there was…somethingin the air that one day, something that none knew how to name or point where itcame from or why, but…it was like life itself was asking them for thatparticularly sincere manifestation of their feelings for each other. In someway, it was like life was telling them to take the chance because it would belong before they would be reunited again, like they would never see each otherafter this.

Ignis had assumed back then that the thought wasalarming, but did not give it any major emphasis, thinking that he was just sostupidly in love that a separation of a few months felt like an eternity tohim.

With hips that bucked slowly and softly, a pair ofhands on his thighs, or his back, or his arms or his face, both mouthsbreathing the same air and letting out soft little moans, the calling of eachother’s names, skin caressing against skin, heat increased and mostly silencewas it not for the little moans, names, and a few ‘I love you’s, Ignis madelove with his hero with all the sincerity and affection he could gather. 

That was their personal and private ‘Goodbye’, butnot the last one before parting for the journey. 

Gladio could never forget the oh so terribly and absurdly romantic long whilethat the two took saying ‘goodbye’ to each other between little kisses, but notletting go was it not due to Noctis who, tired of waiting and already late togo bid goodbye to the king, interrupted and reminded them this was not ‘goodbyeforever and can you please stop before I throw up’. 

It still took them a while, whispering little‘Goodbye’s to each other like both wanted to be the last saying it. While they were on it, Nyx suddenly grabbed Ignis’ wrist without looking, and both smirked at each other, playfully.

“Uh huh, sweetheart” Nyx side smiled at him. “You’re not taking my Kukris.”

“I thought my kisses could be hypnotizing enough to distract you” Ignis joked and fakes a sigh. “Seems like I failed. Again.”

Because this was a game for the two. It started when one day Ignis tried to take Nyx’s daggers, and the Glaive reacted by reflex and quickly grabbed them before Ignis could put a finger on them. 

Nyx apologized because it really had been a reflex and offered that Ignis took them, but the two made a game out of it and Ignis’ fake drama about “No, you didn’t want your own boyfriend to touch them. I’ll have to steal them, now.”

Nyx had explained to him how special his kukris were to him; his trademark weapon of choice, basically a symbol of his own, how many years and battles he’s fought along his kukris, and how he wants to die with the daggers in his hands. How they mean the world to him, how they’re like his companions, and how he doesn’t just let anyone touch them.

“So, now you know, Ignis Scientia” Nyx would tell him, smiling and joking. “The only way you can have my daggers is over my own cold, abandoned corpse.”

Ignis tried biding goodbye that day before the journey by trying to win their silly little game, but Nyx stopped him before the adviser could take them, currently in their sheaths rather than hidden in armiger.

“See, if you want to take them” Nyx told him with a playful grin, “you’ll have to try again when you come back. So it’s on you how long you’ll take out there.”

“Well, when I come back, I’ll grab them at my first attempt, I assure you.”

“Oh, no. I told you, you can try, but the only way you’ll have them is over my own dead body!”

“Put that way, I do hope that coming back I don’t get to grab them, then. Because you won’t die while I’m gone, will you?”

“Of course I won’t!” Nyx complained, hugged Ignis close, arms wrapped around the adviser’s slender but strong waist, and resting their foreheads together. “If I die, you’ll get my kukris. And no way I’m losing this game, darling.”

Ignis only laughed, hugged him back, and mentally agreed. His mouth could not reply, busy as it was meeting Nyx’s.

And that was how Ignis and Nyx parted ways due tothe prince’s journey. 

On an early morning of May, Ignis’ phone buzzedendlessly on the bedside table. Since the first rays of light it started, andit kept buzzing for a while.

But Ignis was not there to answer it.

No one answered it; Ignis had had a very bad nightin which he could not stay still, as if he was forgetting something of majorimportance but not knowing what, something so urgent it woke him up before thesun, nervous. Too anxious, he decided to go outside for a breath of air. Leavingthe phone behind. He had not wanted distractions. 

Gladiolus found him. Ignis was standing at thefishing spot, looking at the distance and looking upset in some way. The Shieldhad gone out for his morning run not long after Ignis had left his bed. Igniswas a very thoughtful person, but not one to wake up so ridiculously early andgo outside to do nothing. Concerned, he reached for the adviser and asked himif everything was fine. With a smile, Ignis reassured him he was okay. Gladiooffered they walked together back to the hotel room.

Ignis yet did not check the phone, which had longstopped buzzing. He started reviewing things, trying to find out when the nextboat to Altissia parted, making sure everything was on its place, and got sooccupied the rest woke up and started doing their daily morning activities. 

Before he could make time to check the phone, as hedid not consider it of major importance, Ignis went outside to get some coffeefor himself and go see if there were newspapers.

And there were; rushed and messed up newspapersdone last minute, or last second out of how low quality they looked, and howthey were delivered by a very altered man who kept saying in almost screamsthat he had ‘emergency news’. 

Oh, Ignis would never forget that day. The way hereached for a newspaper, that they were giving for free due to the urgency ofthe situation, how his heart dropped, how he had to re-read the main page fivetimes before comprehending this was reality.

The first thing he thought about was, like always,his prince. The second thought, how was Ignis supposed to tell him this. Thethird, Nyx. The fourth was a fleeting thought of pain for his homeland and hiscountry, but by that point he was already supporting himself against a wall notto fall, silently but terribly painfully crying, and trying to figure out howhe was supposed to bring these news to his friends, and the state of hisbeloved, who had stayed behind. 

After delivering the news to his friends andstaying strong and as cold-minded as possible trying to figure what to do next,after everything had calmed as much as it could get, and after some moremoments, Ignis did reach for his phone, decided to look for his beloved.

Only to find his beloved had already done that, andhe had not answered.

Gladio was there when Ignis checked the phone, andsaw the ten missed calls. He was there when he saw Ignis grow pale and tried toexcuse himself when he went out to try and call back. The man looked soterribly sick and terrified even when hiding it that Gladio followed, so hecould stand close enough to make sure his friend was okay, but not too much, togive him his intimacy. Even though he knew, both knew, that nobody was going toanswer the phone. 

And nobody did. Ignis called many times that day.He had a short emotional collapse that Gladio thankfully helped with. And thenIgnis tried at night. And the next morning and night, and the ones afterwards,and after that, and after that one again. A week later, it was useless tryingto call; the other phone had run out of battery and did not ring anymore.

Still, Ignis did not have another emotionalcollapse.

“We’re not a hundred percent certain ofhis…whereabouts” Ignis once told Gladio. “I know it may be senseless, but hopedies last. I hope.” 

Gladio did not reply to that. He knew. He knew thatIgnis knew. Absolutely senseless and hopeless. ‘Can’t believe until I see itwith my own eyes’ sort of reaction; already fully aware of what had happened,but refusing to accept it until, well, seeing it firsthand.

Or receiving the Kukris. Nyx did say he would onlylet Ignis have them over his dead body. He promised

Ignis had always considered that a joke. And hecontinued the journey hoping it’d stay a joke, and to never receive the damnKukris.

The events of Altissia spoke a lot to Ignis. Notonly did he learn many things that he once ignored; he also learned about thering in flashing visions, and how it was possible to wear it even if notbelonging to royal blood. Because somebody else had done it before. Ignis saw,when unexpected visions struck him on his way to the altar, what a heroicGlaive had done to save the ring. And it inspired him; inspired him to put iton himself.

Because if a Glaive could, so could he.

And he saw the results it had for the Glaive.

But he had yet not received the Kukris. He refusedto fully accept it until then. It had been a promise.

Which leads us to Insomnia, ten years later. Tenyears in which Ignis was conscious of this, in which he met Libertus and theGlaive told him the last he knew about Nyx, told him about waiting for him attheir homeland, waiting everywhere and writing letters that were neveranswered. And Ignis knew it, like he knew it when Nyx never answered the phone,and each year was only a bigger confirmation. But one grain of hope inside himstill refused to mourn him. He was too busy and his duty was focusing on Noctisfirst; he could not give himself the time to cry for a loved lost one.

So instead he trained and trained until he couldmove as if though he could see. Sometimes, when the world felt the mosthopeless for him, Ignis would fantasize about what he would talk with Nyx whenhe saw him again, what they would do. He wondered if Nyx would cry when Igniswould look at him with blind and scarred eyes. He wondered if the Glaive wouldstill found him ‘stunningly handsome’ as he always called him. He wondered howit would happen, their first kiss after one, two, three years, depending on howlong it had been since the Fall of Insomnia. He wondered if Nyx would remembertheir silly little argument, and would push him back when Ignis would try tograb his Kukris, laughing. 

And Gladio was with him all through the ten years.Sometimes from some distance, sometimes right at his side, but always presentfor him. Always guarding he was alright and healthy, not only physically.Always aware of Ignis’ strange denial of sorts. Always with him. 

When Noctis returned, it was still on Ignis’ dutyto guide and accompany him to the very last step of this. They made it back toInsomnia, and started fighting their way into it. At some point, they reached azone of disaster that blocked the way; heavy debris and chaos was in the way.

They commented on how it looked like a great fighthad been held there.

As they had spent a long while walking and fightingdaemons, they decided to take a break at a station nearby. Noctis and Promptostarted going, but Ignis stayed behind. Gladio, like always, stayed with him. 

Ignis went among and onto the debris, and Gladio followed.While the adviser had learned to live perfectly fine and almost as if he couldsee, this could be tricky for even someone with healthy eyes. So Gladio, whilehating to not give him the space that he knew Ignis needed, got closer andtried the territory to guide Ignis through the steps that were secure. 

Ignis asked him to help him look, and Gladio didnot need to be told what. Both started searching around, Ignis mostly withsenses and instinct and Gladio keeping an eye in case he saw among all the ruinsomething that could confirm what they were looking for. 

And they found that. Oh, they found that and it wasterribly heartbreaking in a strange way. 

Gladio saw them. He saw them nearby a phone with nobattery and long dead. He picked them and returned to Ignis, in completesilence, and Ignis was not even looking around anymore, and did not rush toGladio to question him. Because he knew what was to happen, and Gladio knewthat too, and both knew the other knew, but the silence was only natural. 

And that’s how Gladio handed the Kukris to Ignis.The adviser took his gloves off before accepting them. He took the daggers inhis hands, and looked their way even when he could not see. His thumbscarefully caressed the blade, and his hands gently and slowly started feelingthe handles, and back to the blades. They were dull and overly used. Which hidso much context to him. 

Ignis closed the eyes and contained a huge sigh inhis chest that he oh very slowly let out through the nose. He took his visorsoff, and before he could drop them, Gladio took them for him and saved them in apocket. Ignis slowly and thoughtfully went down to a knee, then the other, andfinally sat on the ground. 

That was when he started crying. 

It was silent, and the tears were counted, but eachof them was full of heartache and sadness.

“I don’t need to see them; I know them by touch”Ignis said while holding the daggers close and caressing them. “He always saidI could only have them over his dead body. It was always a joke. But, once, itwasn’t.” 

Gladio doesn’t sit with him yet. It does’t feellike the right time. And he says nothing either; all that he does is stand atIgnis’ side, absolutely silent, and listens to him.

“Once, he told me that he was serious about it. Hesaid that the Kukris were his favorite weapons, and his trademark. He alwayspraised my skills with daggers. Once, when I was playfully trying to make himpraise me, he said that I was so good that I could be the next owner of thekukris. He first said it as a joke again. But then, when we were done laughing,he took my hand and looked at me to the eyes, and he said…’Seriously, though. Myjob is very dangerous, and I could die any day. If it happens that the Astralsare not merciful on me and don’t allow me a long life with you, I’ll make sureyou become the new owner of the kukris. I don’t know how, but I’ll find a wayso that they make it to you, or that you make it to them. And I want you to takethem and do what I couldn’t. Because, darling, the way you’re going, you’ll bea much more skilled and better hero than I am today, and more than only worthyof my beloved kukris’.” 

Gladio still stays quiet, and Ignis fall silent aswell. He sniffles only once and cleans his tears. That’s when Gladio slowlygoes down to sit at his side, but doesn’t touch him. They sit there, together,in total silence except for one or two quiet sniffles here and there. And then,like they had known all along about Nyx’s destiny but only letting it go whenthey finally saw it, they knew about this, so it doesn’t take neither of themoff-guard when Ignis changes the conversation to something that could havesurprised him years ago, but not now. 

“Since when are you in love with me, Gladio?” 

Gladio is not surprised. Ignis had always been toosharp, and if he had not caught it all those years ago it had been, at first,because he was sharp for everything except romance, and after that he had beentoo in love with somebody else to pay attention to Gladio’s behavior. And, after that, too busy searching for information and preparinghimself for the moment that Noctis returned to pay attention to these matters. 

Gladio shrugs with a sad smile that he wonders ifIgnis can sense.

“Since high school, I think.”

Ignis turns in his direction, looking puzzled.

“…I understand you never told me. That could beshyness. But…what I don’t understand, then, is why it is that you threw mestraight into Nyx’s arms if you were feeling like that. Did it not…harm you?” 

Gladio shrugs again, and stares away, stillsmiling.

“I guess it did hurt a bit” Gladio admits.

“Then why did you do it? Go through all that effortso Nyx and I could be together, instead of attending to your own feelings?”

“Because he made you happy.” 

Ignis stays frozen for a while. They say nothingfor a moment afterwards, and the only movement is the adviser looking up and inthe Shield’s direction, speechless.

“So did you” Ignis says.

“But in a very different way” Gladio smiles at him.“You considered me a brother. But you were stupidly in love with NyxUlric even before you noticed it yourself. I wanted to tell you my ownfeelings, ask you for a chance, but…” he sighs. “He was already making youhappy, even before you became a couple. I didn’t want to ruin that; you were ashappy as I wanted to see you. So, yes, it did hurt a bit, but, you know…I was sad it wasn’t me, but also more than in love enough with seeing you happy, it made me happier than sad.I’m sorry if it sounds too cheesy…” 

Ignis is againunable to give an answer. He only stares with blind eyes in Gladio’s direction,and none say a thing for a while. It’s the Shield who talks again, after asigh.

“And now you’re nothappy. The same reason that once made you so wonderfully happy is now the reasonof your pain.”

Ignis lowers thehead and offers no reply. He knows that, but has no answer.

“But, you know? Idon’t regret a damn thing about it.”

The adviser is abit surprised about it. He had thought that Gladio would say the entireopposite; that if he had known that it would turn out like this, he would havenever thrown him to Nyx Ulric’s arms, and would have tried it himself. So thismakes him surprised and confused, and he stays quiet while the Shield speaks.

“I don’t regret adamn thing because even if it hurts now, he made you the happiest man on Eosfor a few years, and that’s wonderful; that it hurts only means that you care.And that speaks of a very warm and incredible heart.”

He feels Gladiopoke very softly at his chest, right on top of the heart.

“And even after heparted and happiness turned to pain, he was still giving you something positivethat helped you through the journey, through the years of darkness, somethingthat nothing and no one else could have given you in the same measures…” 

Ignis feelsGladio’s hand on his arm, hesitant at first, but then carefully moving to hisback, where he lands it softly but firmly.

“He gave you hope.A bit messed up and with some desperation in between, but hope, nonetheless.And inspiration. And that’s what made of you the man that you are today.Happiness is only a matter of time, you’ll see.” 

The adviser can butsmile at him, softly.

“So you better givethese kukris the best damn use you can give them” Gladio tells him with aplayful smile. “They’re only worn by heroes. So you better behave like one. Abrave hero that will survive through this, or I’ll take those from you. Okay?” 

Ignis can’t helpbut drop a little tear, but he’s grinning and chuckling. It’s impossible to notsmile in the presence of a charming and playful Gladiolus, even when theconversation remains serious.

“It took me abouttwelve years to get my hands on them” Ignis tells him, still smiling. “No waywill I let you touch them now.”

“Good” Gladio grinsand chuckles with him. 

They stay quiet foronly a little longer. That is, however,until Ignis gets slightly up only to move much closer to the Shield, and sitsat his side, kukris still softly held in his hands.

“I am unaware ofhow I could have gone so many years unaware of your feelings. You’ve alwaysbeen there, making sure I’m happy and healthy, even putting your own happinessand health to risk or even giving them up sometimes just for that…” Ignismurmurs to him. “It was crystal clear. How did it take me so long?”

“You were in love”Gladio tells him with a smile. “He was all you could see and think about. It’sonly natural you didn’t notice.” 

Ignis says nothing,and he takes some moments before he softly and slowly nods. There’s silenceagain, that lingers and goes on for a few minutes.

“Your feelings aretoo pure, Gladio.”

And, then, theadviser softly rests the head on the Shield’s shoulder.

“…I wish to bereciprocate to them” Ignis whispers, eyes closed. He hears gladio take in abreath through the nose, softly and big, keep it in, and slowly and quietly letit out, like had just been told heaven exists and it’s all for him to see.“But…I do not wish for that to happen out of gratitude, nor out of loneliness.I think that…before that, I must heal some wounds, and then I can come to you. Ibelieve you understand that…I haven’t mourned him yet…”

“You take all thetime that you need and want, Ignis” Gladio whispers to him and wraps an armaround the shorter man’s shoulders, not pulling him closer, just holding himfirmly and softly at the same time. “Your health before my happiness.”

“You don’t mind thewait?”

“I’ve never waitedfor you” Gladio tells him. “You’ve always allowed me to be there for you. Inever needed you to know my feelings to give them to you; I never waited tolove you before, I’m not waiting now.” 

Ignis is not sure of why, but he’s crying again.It’s silent like always, but, bloody hells, does it hurt. Each tear is a bladeto the heart, and his throat burns even when he’s not sobbing. All that he canthink about is holding the kukris with a hand, and use the other to reach forGladio’s hand, to bring it up and give it a long-lasting and soft but fullysincere kiss that transmits far too much more than it may seem.

“…I lied, Gladio” Ignis whispers after he lets go ofGladio’s hand, and he can do but slightly bury the face a little more on theShield’s shoulder. “All those years ago. I lied. In a different way, but…you are my hero, too. You’ve always been.”

That’s when Gladio does pull him a bit closer,trying to offer comfort, now that Ignis is starting to properly mourn, stayingwith him through it, like always and forever, and as the tears fall onto theUlric’s Kukris. 

And that’s how they spend an hours or so, sattogether among the ruins where a hero once stared into the sunrise for a lasttime, taking a few of his last seconds to make sure he had unsheathed hisweapons and left them at a side so they would not shatter and fade along him,because he had promised it, and he found his way for his beloved to find themone day by leaving them on the spot that, ten years later, his beloved has found, aided by a soul that loves him as much and possibly even more as thehero himself once did.

 Such a beautiful and absolutely interesting scenario, anon. I hope I did some justice to your scenario and that you liked it. I’m sorry if it got too long.

I loved writing for Nyx/Ignis. Thank you for dropping this in my ask!!

Support Coon with a coffee, please? ヽ(・∀・)ﾉ

[ajina-apprentice]

Ajina in Book X

Well, I wrote down my thoughts of the new book a few days ago, so I thought I also should write down how Ajina feels about the latest events. (Just so I can talk about her a bit more.)

First of all, about the information we get from Asra’s route.  That the MC and Asra met 9 years ago: This is perfect for Ajina, since it would put her around the age of 18 when she met Asra and that is also shortly after she came to Vesuvia. The shop belonged to the MC’s aunt: Also perfect, because I did imagine that the shop belonged to Ajina’s aunt and uncle, who took care of her, after they helped her escape from her parents.

Now about Julian’s route, which is Ajina’s canon one:

I’m so happy Ajina gets to tease Julian back during his change. Because that’s a big part of their relationship: Teasing each other until they are both too flustered to utter another word.

And helping him get dressed...just as Julian enjoys this domestic moment, so does Ajina to her own surprise. She had always wanted to get away from the mundane life at the shop and finally see the world, having some adventures. But in that moment she wouldn’t mind it a bit to stay a few more years in Vesuvia, giving Julian the rest (and love) he deserves and maybe later they could go on a little adventure. That is currently her dream. She is also surprised that she is able to tie his cravat, since she usually isn’t so handy with more complicated clothes. But it’s just that she had forgotten, that her aunt used to tie her husband’s cravat (he was a clumsy man) and since Ajina wanted to help her uncle her, her aunt taught her how to. That’s also why Ajina feels so comfortable in this situation with Julian, because it subconsciously reminds her of her loving aunt and uncle.

When it comes to the wigs, she chooses the brown one, because to her it looks like the one to cover up Julian the best. But she has to hold back herself not to laugh when she looks longer at him.

Julian is a bad influence for Ajina, because she wiggles her eye brows like he tends to do, when Portia comes back into the cottage and says, she doesn’t want to know is she interrupted something. xD

When meeting Nadia’s sister, Ajina was a bit too worried about Julian to pay actual attention to them, but you can bet that she would have swooned over Nahara if the situation was different.

It’s a trait of Ajina to get protective of those she cares when they are in danger or are frightened. So, even when she herself feels at unease in Lucio’s room, she puts up a strong front and does her best to make Julian feel at ease, like the holding hand or encouraging words. 

It was a good thing that Vulgora and Volta left so quickly again. While Ajina was crept out by Volta, Vulgora really ticked her off. If those two would interact for more than a minute, it surely would end in a bloody fight.

Down in the Dungeon Ajina tried her best not to let go of Julian. Not when she hugged him outside the cage, not when they embraced through the bars. She has to hold back her tears of equally worry and joy about his words of a future together. She also has to hold back herself not to jump after him, when the elevator doesn’t come back. Because she hates this. Standing there, doing nothing while she knows Julian is facing his demons alone. 

Ajina enjoyed the story that Portia told her about her and Julian’s childhood. She wishes to hear more of them soon.

You can bet that Ajina would point her fingers to the courtiers, when she and Portia meet Nadia in the garden. They were after all extremely fishy and she is absolutely not frightened by Vulgora.

Ohboy, the moment Julian faces Nadia and ‘confess’ the murder...Let’s just say Ajina is in utter shock. Her brain has stopped working. It all depends on what happens in the next 10 seconds, how she will react. If Julian gives the right cues she will stay put and trust him, otherwise she might act rash.

[emmetohboy]

FAVORITES 18

(West Side Market, Cleveland, Ohio)

Listen

Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever: Time In Common Caroline Rose: Jeannie Becomes A Mom Lucy Dacus: Addictions Dirty Projectors: Zombie Conqueror Noname: Don’t Forget About Me Mitski: Old Friend Nathan Salsburg: Impossible Air Colter Wall: Night Herding Song Anderson .Paak: Cheers Mac Miller: Come Back To Earth My Brightest Diamond: You Wanna See My Teeth boygenius: Ketchum, ID Laura Jean: Girls On The TV Sofi Tukker: Best Friend Villagers: Love Came With All That It Brings The Beths: Happy Unhappy Leon Bridges: Shy Makaya McCraven: Black Lion Saba: Life

We’ve made it through the Ohio holiday gauntlet. Back in our little wooded lot in the corner of southwest Michigan I can reflect over the year musically and otherwise. First briefly the otherwise. When I sat to write last year’s entry my best buddy Emmet was weary with heart failure and would be gone four weeks later. As difficult as that was for us we made the most of it. Trips to all of his favorite places and extended naps on the once off-limits sofa between Mrs. Ohboy and myself. A year on and young Hattie keeps us on our toes. We stay ever conscious of the whereabouts of every slipper, sock and low hanging Christmas ornament. While she has certainly brought the energy level in the house up several notches when exhaustion does beset her she is every bit the cuddlier that Emmet was. Maybe more so.

Compiling the artists and tracks that I spent the most time with over the past year sparked a curiosity when looking at the Year’s Best lists from reliable stalwarts such as Pitchfork, NPR, Stereogum and Paste. I’m struck by the fact that a few of my absolute favorites appeared nowhere on these lists. Or only lowly ranked on one. There are certainly some records for which we share admiration. But when a list climbs into numbers as high as fifty and there is no sight of Caroline Rose’s brilliant Loner or Rolling Blackouts Coastal Fever’s first official full-length effort Hope Downs I wonder if I’m off base with my fondness. The stunning absence of Dirty Projectors Lamp Lit Prose is very noteworthy and has me wondering if Dave Longstreth is a victim of his own consistently high output. Or if his previous eponymously titled record functioned as a Norbit to Lamp Lit Prose’s Dreamgirls.

Lucy Dacus, Noname and Mitski all put out records this year that are universally praised. Lucy Dacus’ Historian is a showcase for her uniquely warm voice. She plays it beautifully against both clean guitar work and gritty power chords. And on the boygenuis EP for which she partners up with Phoebe Bridgers and Julien Baker her vocal gift is the perfect complement to the lighter and airier Baker and Bridgers. When Lucy takes the third verse on the records final cut, Ketchum, ID she stands as a weary yet wise woman who can “hear you smiling.”

I spent quite a few late summer days in a kayak this year. Across several bodies of water in Michigan I took minimal but essential supplies with me. Sunscreen. A WonderBoom waterproof bluetooth speaker. And the newest releases from Mitski and Noname. What wonderful companions all proved to be. One particular afternoon on the Galien River I played both Be the Cowboy and Room 25 three times in their entirety. While the two records couldn’t be more different each artist is doing amazing things musically. Working in structures that, if not completely new, are at least scarcely explored both women are in complete control. The songs they write, the stories they tell and the genres they bend, all�� woven with earnest expression. On the strumming, Tammy-Wynette-era Lonesome Love Mitski throws a curve ball and admits that “no one fucks me like me.” And very early on the first track of Room 25  Noname chuckles, “Y’all really thought a bitch couldn’t rap huh?”

One record, specifically one track from that one record, got more kayak playing time than the aforementioned two. Nathan Salsburg’s third solo record apply titled Third is an instrumental exploration of guitar moods that make contemplative companions while one’s kayak floats in the middle of a lake or along the tall grasses of a winding river. The track “Impossible Air” seems to never really begin. Or end. It just exists. Over and over again. Like breathing. I saw Nathan accompany Joan Shelley on her last tour. And his work on several of her records elevates the output. Here’s hoping for more from Nathan himself.

When I saw that the first leg of Colter Wall’s current tour jumped from Indianapolis to Madison, Wisconsin I was heartbroken and even a bit angry. All was made right when it was announced that the second leg would include a date at Chicago’s excellent Thalia Hall in February. Wall’s new release Songs of the Plains cements him as the new voice of a genre that in my opinion has been wayward for years —country music. The “pop music in cowboy hats” approach of the style has recently even given up on the cowboy hat part, being supplanted by trucker style baseball caps. And while the 23 year young Wall is too conveniently compared to Johnny Cash it is worth noting that I haven’t been aware of a record this straight forward and naked since The Fabulous Johnny Cash and Songs of Our Soil. Stories about men from the big city (Manitoba) or herding cattle at night warble to life through the voice of a steam locomotive. And “Thinking on a Woman” and “Plain to See Plainsman” are instant classics. I’d love to hear Colter’s deep baritone in concert with the trio of other twenty-somethings in boygenius. Please.

 So now to the issue of Caroline Rose. I say issue because I cannot understand how this is not the most loved record of the year. At least not more loved. Not the way I love the artistry of Mitski. Or love the musicality of Noname or the plaintive finger picking of Nathan Salsburg. But just love listening to it. From start to finish. The way I used to close myself in my bedroom as a teenager and play Split Enz records over and over. Or Adam and the Ants. Loner moves through genres and moods along its eleven cuts with ease and seamlessness. Back in the spring I was introduced to Caroline via the song Soul No.5. That cut alone kept me tapping and clapping through most of the summer. Its literally an anthem for summer cruising. “My girls are looking good and we’re going out tonight.” The grinding guitars and whirling keyboards plant it squarely between 60’s era Brill Building gems and 80’s “Walking on Sunshine” joy.

Sometime in the middle of summer I dug into the record. Honestly I was a little sidetracked from a complete immersion as the cut “Jeanie Becomes A Mom” sucked up a lot of my attention. It hums and swings from the first pulsing keyboard note. Topically it explores a move to the suburbs in a way that Courtney Barnett did on masterfully “Depreston”. But here it’s “outsiden Topeka” and Rose swings musically and lyrically. She mocks the affectations of such a move. “Mmm little boy go 'coo coo coo coo coo'. Mmm new clothes, new sho-o-o-o-oes.” So fun.

Later on the record the plucked strings that open “Getting to Me” set a listener’s expectations for Roy Orbison or maybe Andrew Bird. But then we get Caroline hopping into a musical confessional. “And the thought of silence makes me sick.” I’m so glad to hear her say that because I’m looking forward to Caroline Rose filling up the silence with new music for years to come.

Speaking of, Happy New Year.

.