#oh yeah my pet peeve is calling them tentacles

[sauriansolutions]

Kinda re: my last post... *sheepish grin* SO UHH. I like lots of different ships, for various characters.

Twst does such a good job of worldbuilding, and making every character so well developed, any and all character interactions end up interesting!

*sheepish grin intensifies*

Re: my last post, though... imagine Azul using all 10 of his arms to force a sick, grumpy Jamil into bed.

Simultaneously holding him down, feeding him soup, and reading him a bedtime story. While Jamil flails uselessly and tries to scream invective... but there's an octopus arm covering his mouth.

🐙❤🐍

[soerdinan]

Character Interview: Leem Rorka

Tagged by the lovely @mapplestrudel​ thank you! <3 ^_^ I’m leaving the invites open to whoever wants to do this.

Leem is from my first Mass effect themed p&p rpg.

~~~~~

name ➔ "Nasurn Swanto Otrobis Loev Rorka Leem"

are you single ➔ "Yes. I took part to the marriage fund of my brood brother ages ago, that's quite enough relationship business for me"

are you happy ➔ "No. But I'm content."

are you angry ➔ “One could say that. I've tried to ease up after the arrhythmia I got during the pyjak incident. Dr. Ismera said my medication helps to a point and I need to level down the stress."

are your parents still married ➔ "You do know how salarians work, right? Hrmph, whatever. Mother died approximately 18 standard years ago. Her husband outlived her by a year."

~~~~~

NINE FACTS

birth place ➔ *he huffs impatiently* "City Otrobis in Swanto"

hair colour ➔ *poignant look*

eye colour ➔ "Del, what was the fancy word you used?" "Oh! Um- it's-"  *Leem directs your attention to Deleomantin who produces sounds of static and uncanny screeches* "This one hasn't- the translation to vocal is still under works, this one is terribly sorry"

birthday ➔ “It's nobody's business.”

mood ➔ "A bit peeved not being sure what Del has gotten me into now with all this questioning."

gender ➔ “male"

summer or winter ➔ "Seasons tend to loose their meaning after living in space long enough. I did enjoy the early summer humidity when I was a kid."

morning or afternoon ➔ “Morning, as it's usually more peaceful on the station, before everyone has time to break stuff and I need to run around fixing it."

~~~~~

EIGHT THINGS ABOUT YOUR LOVE LIFE

“-about my what now?”

are you in love ➔ “No”

do you believe in love at first sight ➔ *couple blinks of quick pondering* "Yeah sure, there was this amazing Corrun 7000-series all-terrain mech I got to work on on couple occasions, ah-mazing. So why not, I guess it can happer towards people too.

who ended your last relationship ➔ "Never been in one, didn't I tell this already, Del how long is the human memory span, is this normal?" "Please be nice to the interviewer.."

have you ever broken someone’s heart ➔ “There was this one asari coworker long ago who asked if I wanted to have a child with her, I'm not sure if you can call what she felt as heartbroken when I declined, but I guess it's the closest of what you're asking."

are you afraid of commitments ➔ “No. If I was, this piecemeal station wouldn't exist.”

have you hugged someone within the last week? ➔ “Yeah, Deleomantin and Salyn as usual. Morna has been more in my personal space lately too, whatever asari deal they have with Dr. Ismera as she also has started giving me a hug after the weekly appointment"  

have you ever had a secret admirer ➔ “No.”

have you ever broken your own heart? ➔ “Maybe physically, emotionaly life has had that covered on my behalf"

~~~~~

SIX CHOICES

love or lust ➔ “Love sounds better"

lemonade or iced tea ➔ “Lemonade"

cats or dogs ➔  *Leem furrows his brow, then looks at Deleomantin, who quickly shuffles next to him, and proceeds  to give him a lightning fast crash course about the most common pets on Earth, while showing visuals from their datapad. Leem nods.* "Cats sound relatable."

a few best friends or many regular friends ➔  "Few friends is good, more time to work by myself"

wild night out or romantic night in ➔  "Romantic." *his expression softens a bit* "Those evenings, when the station  functions like it's supposed to, we have worked on a cleaning bot with Del and then settle down to my corner of the workshop with snacks to watch new episodes of Fighting bot tournament...I think that's some kind of romantic"

day or night ➔ “Nights have been usually calmer where I have lived, so I prefer them"

~~~~~

FIVE HAVE YOU EVERS

been caught sneaking out ➔ “I have never had the need to sneak out"

fallen down/up the stairs ➔  “Sure, it happens."

wanted something/someone so badly it hurt? ➔ *his eyes focus on his memories* "..for the test to turn out different..." *he shrugs it off* "The a.t. mech, it was amazing."

wanted to disappear ➔ “Yeah."

~~~~~

FOUR PREFERENCES

smile or eyes ➔ “Eyes.”

shorter or taller ➔ *shrug* "Taller"

intelligence or attraction ➔ “Intelligence of course."

hook-up or relationship ➔ “Relationship.”

~~~~~

FAMILY

do you and your family get along ➔  “My still living brood bothers are a pain in my neck, insisting on coming here to celebrate our hatching day even though I want nothing of it. The younger broods at least are sensible enough to leave me in peace."

would you say you have a “messed up life” ➔ “Not really. Unfortunate life "

have you ever ran away from home ➔ “When I realized that was an option, it was too late"

have you ever gotten kicked out ➔ “No.”

~~~~~

FRIENDS

do you secretly hate one of your friends ➔  “If I hate someone, I'm absolutely not hiding it”

do you consider all of your friends good friends ➔ “Yes. I would- and have trusted my life in everyone's hands on this station. ..even Tamika's."

who is your best friend ➔ *Leem thinks hard. Deleomantin perks up and does small bounces in anticipation* "Del of course, don't sweat it" *Deleomantin wiggles their tentacles in joy*

who knows everything about you ➔ “Del again. Maybe some STG types if I've happened to be in the wrong place at the wrong time at some point of my life but-” *shrug*

[danfanciesphil]

Hey Ellen 💕 I’m a new fic writer and i need some tips, whenever i write a fic i write dan and phil and when i read it back i can barely recognise them sjsjhdbdbdbbd or either they are too similar to each other (i can write i promise) sooo have u got any advice. Also how in the heck do I write smut

Hey friend! 

To begin with, I suggest checking my writing tips tag! there are some lengthy posts there with hints and tips for how to characterise DnP, how to create a compelling story, how to plot etc etc. 

BUT ladies and gentlemen I realise I have never made a post about smut writing, and I am so pumped. Get ready gang, for here are Ellen’s smut writing tricks lmao:

(nsfw.......... obviously)

1. TENSION

This is my most important tip. It’s a personal thing for sure, but I absolutely think that no matter how good the smut is, it’s nothing without the build-up. Tension can come in a variety of formats, but to get really good smut, I think the best kinds are: prolonged waiting (e.g. they’re at a fancy party and are salivating over each other in tuxes, but can’t fuck until they get home), jealousy, excessive teasing/flirting, or doing it in secret. These added elements, usually put in prior to the actual smut scene, give the reader context, make them wait, anticipate, and be extra satisfied with the final result. 

2. DON’T BE VULGAR

Just try and avoid excessive use of the words ‘cock’, ‘ass’, ‘cum’ etc. This is not to say it can’t be dirty, but there are less jarring ways to phrase certain actions. Using a vulgar phrase can pull a reader out of the scene momentarily, which for smut is the opposite of what you want! Smut scenes are meant to be an immersive experience - their purpose is literally just to arouse/thrill the reader. So by all means have Dan riling around on the floor with his balls tied and a gag in his mouth, but maybe refrain from saying it so bluntly. 

3. STOP WORRYING ABOUT THEIR HANDS

One of the most irritating things about m/m or w/w smut scenes in fanfiction, is trying to work out, as a reader, what position they’re in now, and if they’re on the bed yet, or if their clothes are off, or if that vibrator is still stuck in Phil’s- A rule that I live by in every day writing is TRUST YOUR READER. It’s my all time favourite rule. Stop over-describing everything. Your reader is intelligent. They have (most likely) read smut scenes before. You do not need to say where everything is every sentence. Not sure how they’re getting from pressed up against the wall to the sex swing on the other side of the dungeon?? Just skip it! You are the omniscient puppet master, you don’t need to justify how it happens, you just need to write about it. I’ll try to give you an example:

Bad: Dan kisses Phil hard and slimily, pushing him with lots of force up against the hood of his green, metallic car. “I’m going to bite you now,” Dan growls sexily, his voice rough and grating. Then he grins, revealing a long line of yellowed fangs. He strips Phil of his red Buffy the Vampire Slayer t-shirt and folds it up, then lays it on the floor next to Phil’s converses, which he put there earlier. Then he opens Phil’s Calvin Klein jeans, revealing his blue boxer shorts. He pulls them off one by one, folds them up too, then slips his right claw under Phil’s left thigh and pushes it upwards. He leans in, eyes blinking two sets of lids, and with his left hand, runs a long nail over Phil’s milky skin. “Let’s move to my paddling pool,” Dan says, then takes Phil by his left hand and helps him off the hood. Phil waddles after him, boxers caught around his ankles as they make their way over to the pool. “So sunny today,” Phil comments - the walk is a lot longer than expected. Dan nods. “Yeah it’s been balmy. Nearly there now.” 

Good: Dan kisses Phil hard, pushing him up against the hood of his car. “I’m going to bite you now,” Dan growls, then grins, revealing a long line of yellowed fangs. He strips Phil of his t-shirt, then his jeans, breathing heavily. His claw slips under Phil’s thigh and pushes it upwards. Dan leans in, eyes blinking two sets of lids, and runs a long nail over Phil’s skin.Phil sucks in a breath, delirious from Dan’s venom in his blood. They’re in a paddling pool now, and Dan is thrashing about in the shallow water above him. Phil can’t wait to feel those fangs pierce his wet skin. 

Basically, I just took lots of unnecessary description out, which leaves a much clearer plot. You see how I just jumped them from the car to the pool? Nothing is lost by the reader not knowing exactly how they got there. It’s still gonna work, just trust the reader!

4. WATCH PORN

Might seem obvious, but it helps! Also, read lots of smut from other phanfic writers. It doesn’t hurt to get ideas! Just don’t actually steal. And when watching porn, try and find some stuff that you personally find hot, but also stuff that you could totally see happening in the scenario you’re writing. Look at how a twenty-something man might actually give an effective blowjob. What positions could a thirty-something man realistically get into? What kinds of activities might a couple that have been together for ten years do in bed? Would your versions of Dan and Phil be comfortable around each other, and if so, would they be open to kinkier activities such as role-play, BDSM etc? Just do some research, get some ideas! 

5. ACT IT OUT

I’m blushing but yeah. Several of my followers have informed me that they use blowjob techniques from Birthday Sex IRL. While this is not something I can do (i am a girl and have a girlfriend), I heartily encourage you to see if certain things are possible sexually before attempting to describe them. For a certain scene in L’Histoire Française, I specifically remember leaning against my door and having my girlfriend kneel in front of me (while clothed you pervs) to see if Phil’s arms would be able to reach certain areas on Dan’s body. Feel free to laugh at this ridiculous image. 

6. CHARACTERISE

A pet peeve of mine is when I’m reading a smut scene, and Dan and Phil just say something out of the blue that is just so ridiculous I can’t read on. A specific example of this is overuse of the word ‘daddy’. If you explain the usage, and you can prove to me with your writing and build up that this might be said on occasion, go for it. (Shout out to my fic Daddy Kink) But even if they were calling each other daddy, it wouldn’t be every fucking three seconds. Likewise with other weird pet names (bear, darling, love, baby, etc.) In moderation I suppose you can get away with it. But your best bet is to actually just lie down, close your eyes and imagine your scene. Imagine Dan with his awkward humour defense mechanisms and hang-ups about his body. What might he actually say if he was about to sit on Phil’s face? Would he really say “oh, daddy, yes, i’m a naughty boy!!”, or would he say something more like: “please, for the love of god, tell me if you suffocate. im not explaining to your grieving mother that you died with your face buried in my ass.” 

7. IF IT TURNS YOU ON, IT WILL PROBABLY TURN THEM ON

This is pretty self explanatory. Think of what you’d like to read in a smut scene. Think of things that you haven’t read anywhere else, that you think a lot of people would be excited to read. Wrote a long scene about quadruple tentacle penetration that you’re unsure whether to post? If it turns you on when you read it back, if it’s well-written, convincing, and you followed the other tips above, in all likelihood there are gonna be some freaks out there on your wavelength that will fucking love it. 

That’s it! Thanks for asking, I hope this helps. Love to all you aspiring smut artists, good luck and keep porning.