#oh yeah aziraphale blesses the crown to never wilt so crowley can have it on as long as he likes.

[sirensongster]

consider: aziraphale putting a flower crown on crowley and like- arranging his hair so it falls perfectly that night he spent hours reading flower books so that he could choose the prettiest flowers to put on his demon boyfriend's head

ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh my god. oh my god. i love this. fuck yes. flower crown crowley. upgrade to this: its the night of their wedding. so instead of a veil crowley gets a FLOWER CROWN.yes he is the bride. anathema helped him pick out the dress and its just lovely. its got long sleeves and it’s white like a traditional wedding dress. aziraphales in black. they wanted to wear eachothers colours for this and their wings are out the whole ceremony. crowleys in heels. this is off the rails quite a lot but FUCK IT THAT DOESNT MATTER. its wedding time bitches. oh yeah no one really “officiates” the wedding, the papers are done before hand. they just wanted a party but are they going to bring in a priest? no. fuck that. anathema is where the priest normally is because they dont actually know more than four humans! like who the fuck else was going to do it, shadwell???? no! oh yeah and the them (excluding pepper) are the flower boys and pepper gets to be the ring bearer, because who trusts an 11 year old boy with two blessed/cursed rings? oh yeah ring time bitch. aziraphales ring is a black snake with yellow eyes thats cursed to tighten every time crowleys scared/hurt/in trouble, and crowleys is a set of wings, blessed to tighten whenever aziraphale is scared/hurt/in trouble. and the fact that theyre blessed/cursed just makes it better because theyre immune to blessings/curses/holy water/hell fire respectively, while those who are actually a threat to them arent. its like a tiny reminder of “hey. come closer and you’re probably going to die. fuck off gabriel.” when they kiss at the whatever the fuck its called (altar?? podium??? stand???????? help.) they put their wings in the way. aziraphale ends up with a feather in his hair but thats ok. the reception is fucking incredible, they end up just all going to crowleys flat bc its sure as hell big enough and what would they even rent out?? theres nothing *in* tadfield. and its not like they want to miracle everyone somewhere, they dont want to attract the attention of heaven OR hell. especially not during their wedding, while crowleys in a long fuck off dress that he probably wont be able to run in very well. ANYWAYS. when they get to crowleys flat theres just. so much liquor. and punch for the kiddos. the thems parents dont exactly approve of the fact that theres literally a barrels worth of vodka while theres children but ok i guess. its not like the kids are going to drink any or the adults are going to do more than a shot or two before the kids leave. the kids do end up leaving at like 7, and most of the party time was just old stories that humans dont have anymore, odd stories of shenanigans they got up to in rome (not anything dirty, hell most of the stories theyre not even together in. theres about 30 minutes of aziraphale just talking about what he did while crowley was hibernating for a century.) after the them are gone everyone just goes fuckin BONKERS. everyone who was at armageddon was invited because they all definitely kept in touch, but thats it. again, these two are the top hermits in all of history. they just fucked around most of history not bothering much with befriending humans. crowley did pay more attention in the human relations part of things but does he ever talk to them again after a temptation? no. no he does not. so theres only like 6 adults. and god are they all hammered. all but madame tracy are light weights. the humans anyways, these two have been heavy drinkers for millennia. aziraphale and crowley drank at least 10x what a human could possibly drink before getting alcohol poisoning and dying. that does not mean they have a tolerance at all. they just get really funny between the 3rd drink and whenever they decide to stop. and cuddly. crowley doesnt stop touching aziraphale the whole time. not even in a sexual way at all hes just like. sitting in his lap. or being carried. or playing with ziras wing bc GOD ARE HIS FEATHERS SOFT. zira doesnt take care of them well though so crowley ends up just silently sitting behind zira and putting all the feathers where they should be an all that while zira goes off about cake or something. anathema finds this adorable. probably because she cant stop laughing her ass off at everything. [newt brought weed brownies. anathema ate like 4. the new husbands arent gonna let her die or end up in the hospital though. shell bee fine.] I FORGOT TO TALK ABOUT THE CAKE. its really cheesy. it does have white icing like a traditional wedding cake, but the inside is pink. like its just pink from food colouring. its just a vanilla cake dyed pink. now you may be thinking, whos idea was it to make the cake PINK? crowleys. crowley wanted a pink cake. no one but aziraphale knows this. aziraphale finds it really really cute. everyone else thinks it was aziraphales doing but NOPE. its also got lil angel and demon cake toppers but its not of them, no. theyre store bought. crowley thought it would be funny and aziraphale went with it. (he secretly also found it funny, but also found it inappropriate to laugh at it.) theres no professional photographer, aziraphale didnt really want to involve more humans in this than their friends, and its not like most of their memories together have been documented at all. photos have only been around like 200ish years, thats nothing in the face of 6 millennia. this does not however, stop anathema and newt from taking a million pictures on their phones. at least they have the sense to not take pictures when crowley starts crying. though its not like thye could get a good picture of that anyways, wings are really easy to hide behind when theyre that big. oh shit i really went off the rails on this one but thats ok. ive a feeling no one really minds. oh yeah the actual fuckin wedding is in crowleys greenhouse. its impossibly big. and logically should not fit in the flat at all. that one was somewhat hard to explain to beelzebub, but its not like they really care that much. they were just curious as to what the FUCK one demon could do with a greenhouse of all things. they did not get an answer. just a flower pot to the face and a run away demon. beelz wasnt even all that mad just suprised like the audacity of that mother fucker. anyways. the (altar?? podium?? WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING CALLED I STILL HAVENT FIGURED IT OUT AND ITS BEEN 5 MINUTES) was literally grown. its like a flower bush (more like two) that were grown in an arc. crowley did not clear much space for this at all, just the isle and enough chairs for everyone. not that he moved plants for those. just put chairs on top of short plants. the thems parents were really really fuckin confused as to “what the hell?? how did they do this. what.” but stayed because no one else seemed to be bothered much by it, the kids were like ‘same shit as always’ and the grooms seemed happy about this. it was a hassle to actually get to the chairs without stepping on the plants though. and didrie (is that how its spelled??? adams mom.) swears she saw some of the plants trembling when the petals were thrown. she also swears that the bride has snake eyes?? crowley doesnt wear his sunglasses the whole time so all the lights are a bit dimmed, not quite to the point that the humans cant see but if they were any lower it might have been a bit of a problem. especially with all of the mother fucking VINES. why are there vines all over the place crowley?? he does not have an answer. he may have gone over board a few years ago and just. leaves them there. theyre not hurting anybody. SPEAKING OF CROWLEYS SNAKE FEATURES! crowley ends up stammering and hissing through his vows. aziraphale finds this adorable. look at my hissy idiot. i love him. thats all that goes through ziras head. eventually he just lifts his wing so no one can see and kisses him because they both know crowley isnt goign to be able to say it in the next ten minutes. oh yeah their vows are done in latin. because what else would they do it in? also they bless/curse one another in their vows. because it cant hurt them, and its like the rings from earlier. no one with intent to harm them can touch them now without being burned by the blessing/curse. anyone. it can bee beelzebub or gabriel or some human, theyre getting burned. zira lets crowley finish the curse before kissing him obviously. all humans but anathema are confused by this, anathema learned latin as a teenager to better be able to understand occult books. she regrets the fact that she can understand them because theyre being very very lovey dovey and she thinks they did it in latin so no one would be able to understand them. so she just stands there and ends up with her face red as a tomato by the time they’re done. newt is kinda concerned and very confused because “what just happened??? i know that was vows. i think.”