#oh sehun angst

[exouniverse]

End Game

Pairing: Sehun x gn!reader

Genre: angst, non-idol au

Warnings: mild language, mentioned alcohol consumption, implied issues with communication patterns and jealousy, kind of open ended.

Summary: Sehun reached out after a painful breakup. Just a week had passed since he ended the relationship, and now he was trying to ask for another chance, or at the very least, for you to listen to him.

Word count: 1.6K+

A/N: I heard end game by Cat Burns and had to write something. At first, I wanted to write it quite angsty and make them fight, but as I continued writing, I couldn’t leave it with at least a little bit of hope even if it’s still open ended.

I was stupid, okay? Give me a chance to make it right, yeah?

The taste of alcohol on your lips wasn’t as bitter as what those words on your phone made you feel. Your head was spinning, it had for hours after lying on your bed the entire morning. The dimmed room made you look like a lonely shadow within rumpled sheets. This wasn’t your best moment; you couldn’t deny that. However, how could you do anything else with the hurt you carried the entire week?

The strings stopped being pulled, and you finally had time to allow your soul to go into catharsis. Two years, two years was how long you invested your feelings in a relationship that had probably been doomed since the start. But you loved him, you probably still do.

No, you still do.

That’s why those words feel like addictive poison. You believed them so many times only to be betrayed all at the same time.

He won’t change. He needs to heal first, but he’s stubborn. Not only that, but he quit first. Why is he reaching out again a week later to ask for one more chance? How dare he?

As you threw your phone against the bed, it bounced and fell on the floor, and in unison, the sound of your doorbell blended with the crash of your phone’s screen.

“God fucking damn it!”

You didn’t even bother looking at who it was or how you looked, you just grabbed your phone and went to open the door. “What are you doing—“

“Can we talk? Please? Hear me out, yeah?”

He looked pathetic, or at least that’s what you tried to repeat to yourself in your head. In reality, your instincts fought for control to hug him and cuddle to soothe him, and then pamper him for as long as he needed until his smile graced his face again.

“I truly don’t know why you’re here, Sehun. What would you even say?” You had to take a deep breath before the tears could start to fall again. “You-I was the one who-damn, Sehun, leave. I can’t do this. Please, leave.”

You noticed the nervous balancing of his feet and his fidgety fingers hiding in his pockets. He wasn’t just nervous; he was desperate; he truly needed to let something deep inside him come to light. Yet, you’ve seen this before. He bottled up his emotions and only let them out when you fought. As for the positive ones, he barely worded them out and almost made you beg for them.

Sehun searched for your eyes with his pleading ones. “I know I don’t deserve another chance. But I want to be better, for myself, for us. I miss you. I had for weeks before I-before I ruined everything… I was so stupid, baby-oh, uh-sorry.” He took a deep breath, and the light in his eyes changed; hope and regret brimmed from them. “All I’m asking for is a conversation. If, after that, you still want me to leave, I will. But please, hear me out.”

The sincerity and tenderness in his voice were unmistakable. You hesitated. For you, it felt too recent still, as if it had happened the night before, but it seemed that he had managed to process most of it already. Part of you wanted to shut the door, yet another part yearned to understand. For good times’ sake, you still cared for him. He was a big part of your life for so long; that’s why it hurt even more to lose him over something so trivial, but it was him who called it quits.

With a shaky breath, you moved aside, silently granting his request to talk. You made yourself a promise that exact second in which he stepped in and looked back at you with worried eyes: you would listen, but you wouldn’t forgive easily, not anymore.

Sehun sat down on the couch, but not before he hesitated, looking between you and your phone as you placed it on the coffee table. He took a deep breath. “Are you okay? Need some water?” he asked. Your stomach twisted at his concern for you, and you almost hated yourself for the way you felt the care for him in your heart still remained—the way those simple words could move you.

He waited quietly, but you knew that if he didn’t start talking, you would break down right there. “No need for that; just talk. I’m listening.”

His hesitation was evident. He looked at the kitchen of your apartment, straight to where you kept your vitamins and medicine in case you caught a cold. He was the one who kept it full whenever he could.

Your tears were about to fall down again, but his words made you blink back at him. “I’m sorry… you didn’t deserve any of this pain.” He extended his hand towards yours but quickly withdrew as your fingers clenched into a tight fist.

“I failed you, but all I want right now is to make this up to you, on your terms,” he said as he seemed to hold back tears, his voice shaky and almost breaking. “You don’t have to decide anything yet, but let me explain first, and I’ll respect your decision; you’re in control here.”

At your nod, he started. “I’m not trying to make up excuses, even if it may sound like that, but… these past weeks, work had been stressful, and the situation with mom being sick and dad being away, not helping or talking to me at all, added to that, and I didn’t handle anything of it well.”

He stopped; you knew him too well, and it hurt because all you wanted to do then without hearing anything else was sit beside him and reassure him. You tensed your legs, hoping they didn’t move unconsciously.

“I didn’t want to burden you because I knew you were working on that big project at work, so I never said anything,” he shrugged. “Then at the party last week, when I saw you so happy without me talking to someone I didn’t even know… I felt this pinch in my gut that I didn’t understand. Looking back, I realize it was jealousy. Which is stupid, because I have always trusted you, but everything was piling up, and seeing you like that sent me over the edge. I’ve never felt that way before, and I didn’t know how to deal with it.”

Regret and hurt painted his dark eyes when you caught him looking back at you. You tried to soften your reaction, since it shocked you to hear him talk about jealousy when he had always been so confident and secure about you two. However, you let him talk it all through. A little curiosity sparked up at this new information, and you wanted to truly comprehend it all.

“That next night… ugh… it was such a stupid fight. I never meant to tarnish our memory of that night we ended up having ramyeon because you chose a new restaurant that served awful food. I love that memory. I loved spending that night eating ramyeon at the convenience store in our pajamas. It was the mention of that guy’s name about his restaurant suggestion he told you about at the party. I knew you were being playful by mentioning our little memory, and I just…”

“Couldn’t afford to try a new restaurant again due to a bad choice and end up having ramyeon for dinner,” you repeated unintentionally as you remembered his words.

Sehun let out a heavy breath, and his eyes glistened. “I’m sorry. I really sound stupid, and that wasn’t even the worst I said that night. But breaking up, that was the worst mistake of my life. I realized I was being a coward; I hardly ever let you in and always tried to push you away from my bad parts. I didn’t quite realize soon enough that it was one and I—if I’d just been honest about what I was going through, we could’ve gotten through it together. I wouldn’t have hurt you with my stupid jealousy. Bringing this up is hard, but you deserve to know everything. I couldn’t fathom hurting you the same way you have been hurt before. I want you to be okay, even if this means letting you go now.”

Silence found its way after he let everything out. It all felt quite new since he hardly ever talked so much about what was going on with him. He told you about his stressful days at work, but very vaguely. He told you about his mom, but no details about the situation with his dad.

You were used to just listen to what he offered and be there for him, distract him, share some insight, or give him some advice if you could. You also never asked, and now you were starting to see it wasn’t just him at fault; you also yelled stupid things that night, reacting blindly.

A single tear fell down his cheek. You bit your lip, trying to stop it from trembling and making it easier for your own tears to fall.

You still found yourself reaching for his hand, soothingly brushing your thumb on the back of it. “I appreciate your honesty. It means a lot.” A shaky breath came out of you as buried hurt surfaced.

“It’s still too fresh… I’m not ready to say everything is okay yet. As much as I want to believe we can get past this, I need space, time.” You stopped as you saw his tears falling and raised a hand to try to stop them. “I haven’t really processed all that happened yet. I had no idea you were jealous. But keeping things bottled up—that’s not okay either. You have to meet me halfway. No pulling away when life gets hard.”

You took a deep breath before you said the next words, considering everything you heard and everything you felt. “If you wanna start again, then, can you change?”

[baekstans]

does anyone remember a sehun angst fanfic series where the girl was really insecure and mistreated and had a scar on her face? i cant remember much else about it but i really want to go back and read it/see if there were any new updates since i last read it.

[dazz-linglight]

Hello love, I have a request for sehun we’re reader is younger than him and plus size, and She gets jealous of sehun friendship with sejeong and they get in a fight we’re sehun say he likes sejeong more than her. With a bit of angst and a happy ending.

It’s alright if you don’t want to take this request I totally understand. I love you and you’re writing 🤍🤍🤍

Another Chance.

(idol!Sehun x non-idol!Reader) feat. EXO and Kim Sejeong.

Sehun and you were the type of couple that radiated warmth and affection, laughter often echoed through your small apartment. Sehun, at thirty, had a quiet confidence that complemented your vibrant, effervescent personality. You, younger by five years, a plus-size woman who carried yourself with grace and an infectious smile. Despite the strong bond built in one year of your relationship, insecurities sometimes crept in, often spurred by your own self-doubts.

One sunny Saturday, you were both invited to Suho's barbecue in his new house, along with the rest EXO members and a few other friends. The backyard was filled with people chatting, laughing, and savoring the delicious aroma of grilled food. You stayed close to Sehun, enjoying the social gathering but feeling a bit out of place. It wasn't long before Sejeong, a friend of them joined the gathering.

Sejeong is slim and carried herself with a sophisticated air. She and Sehun had an easygoing friendship and their conversation flowed effortlessly. As they laughed and reminisced about their idol antics, you felt a knot of jealousy in her stomach. Trying to mask the discomfort, you joined the conversation as you could, but couldn't shake the feeling of being an outsider around them. Sehun’s attention seemed more focused on Sejeong, and each shared joke and burst of laughter between them felt like a small cut to your heart.

After a while, you excused yourself to grab a drink, trying to collect your thoughts. From a distance, you watched Sehun and Sejeong close together in deep conversation. It felt like watching your worst fears play out in front of your eyes. Unable to contain her emotions any longer, you marched back to the table.

“Hey, Sehun,” you called for him, your voice sharper than intended, “can we talk for a minute?”Sehun looked surprised but nodded, excusing himself from Sejeong. You walked in front of him to a corner where nobody would listen and turned to him, the sounds of the barbecue fading slightly.

“What’s wrong, love?” Sehun asked, concern etched on his face. You took a deep breath, trying to steady your voice.

“Look, I don’t really like the way you’re acting around Sejeong. You’re so wrapped up in her that you’re ignoring me.” Sehun’s eyebrow furrowed in confusion.

“Love, Sejeong is my colleague . There’s nothing more to it.” He tried reasoning, not understanding where you're coming from.

“But it feels like there is!” You snapped, the insecurities boiling over your head. “You’re being much more attentive to her than you are to me. Do you even realize how that makes me feel?”

Sehun sighed, clearly frustrated. “_______, you’re overreacting. Sejeong is just easy to talk to. We have things in common from work, that’s all.”

You got a bit overwhelmed and a few tears filled your eyes, voice trembling. “Maybe she’s more likable than me then, huh? Is that it?”

Sehun’s patience got thin. “Yeah, maybe she is! At least she doesn’t get jealous over nothing!” The words hung in the air, heavy and painful in your heart. Your face got sour and you immediately turned to walk away from him, quickly going towards Suho's house.

Sehun soon regretted his outburst, but his pride held him back from following you. The rest of the barbecue was a blur for Sehun. He stayed, but his mind was with you, replaying the argument over and over. He hated himself for the ridiculous words he had said, knowing they stemmed from his own frustration and not the truth. While you spent the rest of the afternoon in the living room and away from everyone, tears streaming down your face. You felt humiliated, hurt, and worst of all, you believed Sehun’s words. Maybe Sejeong really was more likable. Maybe you were the problem.

Two hours later, Sehun came in to find and drove you home in silence, the tension between you palpable. When you got home, you went straight to shower and then to bed, curling up on your side, back to Sehun. He watched for a moment, wanting to reach out, but unsure how to bridge the gap he had created.

The next morning, Sehun woke up early, determined to make things right. He slipped out quietly and headed to the nearest florist, buying the most beautiful bouquet of sunflowers. When he returned, he found you in the kitchen, staring blankly at your coffee cup.

“Love...” he said softly, approaching you with the flowers. “I’m so sorry for yesterday. I was a jerk and I said things I didn’t mean. Sejeong isn’t more likable than you. No one is. You're the woman I love. You’re the most important person in my life.”

You turned to face him and looked up, eyes still red from crying. You accepted the flowers, holding them close to your chest. “It really hurt me, Sehun. I’ve always felt insecure about my weight and how I look. Seeing you with her just brought all those fears to the surface.”

Sehun stepped closer, taking your face in his hands. “I apologize. I should've been more considerate of your feelings. You’re beautiful to me, in every way. I don’t want anyone else. I love you just the way you are.”

You stared back at him, eyes filled with tears again, but this time they were tears of relief.

“I love you too, Sehun. I just need to feel that you’re with me, that you see me.”

“I do,” He said with the earnest voice. “And I’ll make sure you always know that.” The two of you stood there in the kitchen, holding each other tightly, the flowers pressed between them.

The tension and hurt melted away, replaced by the warmth of their love. From that day on, Sehun made a conscious effort to show you how much he cared. He never let a day go by without reminding you how beautiful you are to him, inside and out. You too worked on her insecurities, learning to trust more in Sehun’s love and your relationship.

[eomayas]

Can you do when exo is angry? Like they and their s/o's arguments. I wonder what do you think. Who is the heartbreaker when he is angry? 😶😶

ok.. let’s see! thank you for the request 🩷 (hopefully this is what you were imagining)

exo when angry [req]

minseok: he would lose his patience fast, but he would never try to say anything that would hurt you or your relationship. he would definitely be using “i” language in order to keep your relationship from ending, but when he gets really angry it’s best to leave him alone. when it gets extremely heated, one of you always ends up leaving to give each other space, and when you reconvene you’re able to fully dissect the argument and talk about what went wrong. i think he understands that words have meaning, and he’d be aware of that even when he’s extremely mad.

junmyeon: he would try to stay level headed the entire time, and you would be the one to explode. he would retaliate and yell back, but you’re still the heartbreaker. junmy hates arguing, especially with you, and is more of a mediator but when you get mad he gets mad. he feels what you feel, but when you argue he knows at least one person needs to keep the peace, and it’s always gonna be him. but you hurt him :( and always apologize immediately.

baekhyun: baekhyun is naturally loud, so when you’re arguing he is more prone to yelling. this really upsets you because you don’t appreciate being yelled at, especially by your lover. with baekhyun, it’s really easy to get into screaming matches because you are both essentially trying to be heard but aren’t listening, which makes your arguments very tiring. i think you’d both say hurtful things due to the fact that you’re yelling over each other, and then it would kind of be a game to see who could say the worst thing until the other person gets very upset.

jongdae: this is a man who likes to be right, no matter what and that is typically the cause of your arguments. he’s kind of a “my way or the highway” guy when you’re arguing, and it’s not the words that he says that hurt you but his attitude towards the whole situation. he’s super stubborn when he’s angry, which makes your arguments frustrating and basically pointless. after you both finish arguing (cough cough you give up), he typically apologizes the next day, but it still stings knowing that he’s so hardheaded.

chanyeol: mutual heartbreak i fear.. you’d both be yelling and by the end, you’d both be crying and begging the other for forgiveness. it would start with you saying something about him, and then he would say something about you and it would just pile up until one of you starts crying, thus making both of you cry.

kyungsoo: when he gets angry, he gets scary. it’s never on purpose, of course, but he just gets mad and starts to yell, and his voice is already full of bass so it’s a bit much to see him like that. he would be a heartbreaker :( but would immediately freak out when he sees that dejected look on your face or tears in your eyes. by that point, he’s practically on his knees begging for you to forgive him.

jongin: YOU would be the heartbreaker in this situation! we know our boy is a crybaby (we love u kai), so arguing with you is already emotionally draining for him but any time you seem extremely upset with him and are yelling, it breaks his heart. don’t let you say anything mildly criticizing about him, because he’s in tears on the floor, his head in between his knees. jongin just loves you so much and puts up a front about how “strong” he is, but he’s a mess when it comes to you. you always apologize and hold him until he’s done crying, feeling very guilty to make him this way because he already struggles with crying as it is (y’all know the videos😭😭)

sehun: isn’t a yeller, but he definitely says things that hurt and what makes it worse is that he has an idgaf attitude about it. like, he’ll criticize you mid argument, his voice not even at a yelling volume, and say the most out of pocket thing about you, like he’s purposefully trying to hurt you. but he’d feel bad about it internally!!! but then it would be like a word vomit thing where he kind of keeps going as long as you’re still arguing.

[jonglo]

Hello:) can i request one where the reader finds out she’s pregnant before Sehun’s enlistment? And she’s scared but his reaction is really cute and happy ♥️

an: once again work has been killing me sorry for the late response.

Best Time

I hope Sehun will be seen off well for his enlistment. I can't wait for him to come back. We will miss him <3

warnings: none

genre: fluff and angst

The first snow of December fell past your windows as the world around you froze while your eyes stared at the positive pregnancy test in your hands. What you have been praying wasn't true was unfolding right before your eyes. There couldn't have a worser time for this to happen to you.

A couple weeks before, you had begun feeling a bit unwell. Starting with a couple of headaches and fatigue. This of course progressed to feelings of nausea. With the winter coming, you passed this off as the flu. That was until you had missed your cycle. Well it just so happened that after putting off the test for weeks, you finally decided to take it the day Sehun found it appropriate to announce his enlistment. You felt the anxiety rush through your body as you stared at the two bright red lines. The silence engulfed you as your hands began to shake with fear. Doubt immediately started to take over your mind as the thought that Sehun would be upset and not present for the child came over you. After what felt like an eternity, you were finally able to snap out of your trance and decided to hide the test in the back of the medicine cabinet. Allowing one big event at a time.

A couple days go by and Sehun becomes increasingly concerned with your behavior. The constant stress whenever he starts a sentence with "Babe, Can I ask you a question?" showing through your demeanor. The constant pressure of having to mask your symptoms just to ease the burden of his enlistment. In truth, you were not only scared of this situation interrupting Sehun's wish for an easy dismissal but how this would impact the child. You wanted to tell him the news but no moment felt right. You constantly felt like a burden to his plan.

You managed to keep this secret for 3 days before Sehun came to confront you about this new behavior.

"Hey, is everything alright? You just seem very antsy recently.. Is it about the whole military thing?" He asked as he sat next to you on the sofa, genuine sincerity veiling his face.

"Oh yeah, it's just a big change from what I am used to." you spat out to quickly change topic.

"You know, I'm not going to be gone that long, my position is special. The whole social service thing is different." He responds before placing a soft hand on your back. This action causing for a strong emotion to arise.

"Im sorry.." you mumbled looking down in your lap, tears beginning to swell in your eyes. This left Sehun staring at you with a tilted head.

"For what? Already missing this handsome face? That's a given.." He rolls his eyes as a playful smile appears on his face.

"No.. keeping this secret from you." You mutter while wiping the tears from your eyes and chuckling softly at his joke. He watched as you stood up and headed to the bathroom to get the test. When you returned, you slowly placed the positive test in his hand and sat back anxiously and studied his face.

"Oh my god.." He mumbled as he stared at the test, causing for you to feel sick to your stomach in fear. You quickly jumped to explain yourself.

"Im sorry for keeping this from you. I know its a terrible time to bring this up and I know it ruins the whole enlistment process but I hope you aren't mad about this.. I wanted to tell you but there was no right time for this. I just couldn't bring myself to-" You rambled until you heard Sehun's voice interrupt you.

"Oh my god!" His eyes jolted to meet with your own. "I'm going to be a father!" His eyes jumped between yours and your stomach as his excitement rushed out.

"So you aren't mad about the timing...?" You muttered, taking time to adapt to his reaction.

"Mad? This is the best timing possible! I'm on the base for like a week then home for 2 years with no active promotions. I'm free to bother you and the baby every day!" He says, grabbing your wrists and shaking them with utter joy. "Like I don't think you understand... I'm going to be a father!" He shouts before flashing you a bright smile. You chuckle in response as you watch him express every ounce of joy in his body.

"Oh my god... I have to call and tell Jongdae that i'm a better father than him!" He yells before placing a lot of wet kisses on your face, making sure to place some on your stomach as well.

He jumps up and skips to the bedroom just to share his announcement as a way to prove his greatness. You felt like 20 lbs had been lifted off of your chest as his reaction proved to be the opposite of what you expected. This time as you sat with the pregnancy test, you were filled with delight instead of pure frustration and panic. These next two years were going to be filled with bliss as long as Sehun was by your side.

From the sofa you heard the sounds of Sehun boasting about his fathering excellence, which only made you so much more confident and excited for the future of this small family.

[loveau]

Case Closed: Chapter One | Sehun

Genre: slow-burn romance, angst, mystery/crime

Summary: As the only person willing to take on this wild goose chase of a 10-month ongoing missing persons case, you have your head in your hands trying to figure out why 20 girls and counting have suddenly disappeared. You can't give up now that another girl has just joined that number. Good thing that your persistent crime reporter friend Oh Sehun won't let you quit either.

Word Count: 6.4k

T/W: minor violence, kidnapping, crime, uhhh not edited i'm sorry

A/N: I'M SOOOOO SORRY!!!!!! I've been on hiatus for 3 years LOLOLOLOL then i found this in my vault since may 4th, 2020 and i felt so bad that i wrote literally 3.5k words to finish this first chapter so i can just get it out. i have the whole thing fleshed out.......... i'm so sorry 🙈 also i don't really use this blog anymore but i figured i will just to get out everything again HAHAHA i do not expect this to get any traction at all but if you enjoy it then 🥺❤️

It started like any other day, which was a real cliché to put it. You walk into the station with your usual heavy eyelids and even heavier shoulders. Sleep was something you’d given up when you first started working as a detective, but the word was definitely out of your dictionary when you picked up the case. Most of your colleagues wouldn’t pick up the case. Mainly because they knew you’d be the first one to take it. However, after ten months you still haven’t found any new leads. Six months of chasing after ghosts and you always returned emptyhanded.

This morning, you had something into your hands. Flung into them, rather. A coffee and a file, courtesy of Jongin. Normally there’d be a smile gracing his face and a joke soon to follow to lighten up your mood. Instead there was a frown as he motioned down at the file in your hands.

“That’s number 21.”

You’re grim and you know it’s very apparent. How could you not be with the numbers stacked this high? You mumble a thanks and allow Jongin to linger a bit. He wants to say something, and you know it, but you also know he’s conflicted about whether or not he should continue bothering you.

“Jongin, I’m not dropping the case.”

He purses his lips and takes a tactical sip of his own coffee. After a moment to find the right words he sighs. “I know. I wouldn’t dream of trying to rip you away from that.”

A dry chuckle leaves you and you shake your head almost dotingly at your junior. “Of course.” You point a pen towards the office everyone knew too well after getting chewed out at least thrice. “But that doesn’t mean she won’t. She’s been on my ass for a while.” You’ve joked with your peers about the Boa Constrictor keeping you in her hold until you concede, but you’d never been on the receiving end of it until now. Except you definitely weren’t about to let go of this case.

There’s a moment of silence while he tries to come up with something else to say and you busy yourself with the new file. You curse when you look at the girl’s photo and information. “She’s only 15.” Jongin hums and scans over the information with you. He takes her photo out from beneath the paperclip and holds it up to the board where there were faces of 20 other girls on them.

“She doesn’t look like any of the others.”

“Not at all. She’s got some similar features to some, but… there isn’t a type.”

“If they even are getting kidnapped.” You scoff at that before taking the photo and thumbtacking it to the board. “Not that I’m saying you’re on a wild goose chase or anything, but…” He takes another sip of his coffee. You know the mug is empty. “21 girls who don’t have any connection to each other besides living in the same city… It’s really difficult to determine if they’re all being kidnapped or just-”

“Runaways, I know.”

“Look, they’re all around the ages too. Teen angst, wanting to start fresh in another city, eloping with a secret lover.” He sighs wistfully and moves to take another sip until he remembers his empty cup. “21 girls. No relation. Some of them did sports, but it’s a range. Some of them are in the same school district, but they have different schedules. Two of them lived in the same neighborhood, but that’s in a whole block of apartments.”

Your eyes linger at the girl’s face a couple seconds longer. You’ve heard it too many times by all the others to know that Jongin is implying they could be all coincidences. People runaway all the time, it’s true. You’ve definitely closed those sorts of cases and convinced a couple of them to work it out and return home. You just wish you had some concrete proof that this was different.

Jongin turns away, about to leave and continue his own work after getting more coffee. “I’ll get out of your hair now, but I’m just worried about you. You’re losing a lot of sleep for someone who looks like they’re chasing their own tail. Take care of yourself.” He’s off before you can bark a word at him, and you roll your eyes to yourself.

You take a sip of the coffee he’d given to you moments prior, but it had gotten cold since then. It was still a bit of a kickstart to your day anyhow. You had the cases of 21 missing girls all over the city resting on your shoulders. It was a miracle you got any sleep at all. You tried your hand at anything. Possible gang relations or involvements or some group or organization, and yet you found no link. Like you said earlier, there didn’t seem to be a type that was targeted as the girls were mainly different appearance wise. You’d even thought to consider some underground sex ring, but the information you’ve collected about some of them didn’t fit the bill.

There were a couple girls who were taken in their own homes. They had been the ones living alone, except one who was taken while her three roommates were all home. They had chalked it up to her not feeling well and when they decided to check up on her, she was gone. It just didn’t sit right with you that they had done everything according to their routine and yet they supposedly just ran away. Most didn’t seem to have any motive at all to do so according to their friends and family. Even though you knew everybody’s got secrets and skeletons to hide you knew that was the truth. It was a gut feeling, but it wasn’t enough.

A buzzing noise came from your pocket and you whip your phone out to see what notification it was this time. A random message from one of your friends on social media popped up. You wanted to swipe it away, but you decided against it and opened it up. It was a friend from college who had found some old photo of the two of you at some party, dressed up with a lot of skin showing but even more teeth on display. Back then the lack of sleep you had was because of the constant studying and partying, or rather taking some free booze and dipping when you got bored. It was still fun to socialize and watch everyone stumble dumbly, though. You responded back quickly by telling her to forward it to you. Before you pocketed your phone, you retyped your passcode to unlock the phone again and went into your contacts. Thinking about college reminded you of somebody.

The moment you stepped out you heard a familiar “Hello?”

“Hi, Mrs. Kim. Just checking in like I always do.” You could almost hear the smile in the woman’s face. Tension immediately left your shoulders the moment you heard her coo your name softly. It was like it was never there at all.

“I haven’t heard from you in a while. I was just beginning to think you’d never call.” She laughs easily at her tease. She knew you would call. You always did. “I was just thinking about you actually. I heard there was another one…”

A sigh leaves your lips and you pinch the bridge of your nose before you answer. “Yeah, it’s been a rough couple of months hasn’t it?” She hums in response and you can hear her shuffling papers around, most likely sorting through the mail you know she never opens and gets to once a month at least. She pauses and you can hear her set the large pile down.

“Of course. Five months without my baby? She’s supposed to be starting school in a couple months. She was so excited when she got accepted. They have the best music program in the state, you know.” You knew all too well that her daughter was to be going to school at the best music school in the state. You listened to some of her recordings before after her mother had shown you. You like to think that it was just because of a mother’s pride, but you think it was to hear her daughter’s voice again as she talks through the piece and giggles at a small slip up in one of them.

It almost pained you that you couldn’t find her with what you had now. You were still as clueless as you were when she had gone missing five months ago.

“I’ll find her soon. I know I will. The next time you won’t get to see her is when you have to move her into the dorms. I promise you.” It was an unsure promise, to convince the both of you that you’d get it done. And soon. The shift from a lighthearted conversation had gotten grim fast. Those conversations had typically over the lunches you had with Mrs. Kim. She was the first case of this bunch and also the most optimistic of the friends and family. You felt that you had to keep her updated and in turn she continued to put her trust in you.

“I know. She’s counting on you; I just know it. She knows you’ll get it done somehow.” The words strike you in your core. That’s right, there’s a lot of people counting on you right now. One more family just got added to the list this morning. You try not to think about the handful of others that decided to have you stop looking after they’ve given up that their daughters would come back. It pained you to have them retract their hope enough to have you close their cases, but you wouldn’t stop even if they asked you. You didn’t want to have to leave them in the dark while their daughters were missing. Lord knows you were considering a murderer, but no bodies had turned up to your relief. You just hoped you didn’t have to continue praying for it not to happen.

The call ended quickly, and you spent the next couple of hours going over your information and collecting information from the family of the newest missing girl. She was hanging out with friends when she was all of a sudden separated from the group at the mall. It was a busy place, but camera footage and eyewitnesses last saw her roaming in a store before her trail goes cold. This was frustrating. Rumors had spread about the girl going missing already, but since she was a teen most people assumed that she just ran away. She was pretty social according to her friends, and they just chalked it up to her personality and hanging with the wrong crowd. You decided to ponder over it on your lunch break, calling up your regular lunch partner to meet you at some café a couple blocks away.

Sehun doesn’t have to wave you over for you to sit down at the table you know he’s already at. It’s almost a ritual, to eat at this café every other week and sitting at the same table, nonetheless. He smiles warmly at you and pushes a plate towards you. “I already ordered for you. And don’t worry, I paid for it as a thank you for last time.” You mumble your thanks with a mouthful of food, briefly remembering the time you covered for his ride home after one drink too many.

“You’re godsent, you know that?” His smile turns into a smirk at that and you roll your eyes when you see you’ve stoked his ego. “Before you say ‘I know’, take out that notepad.” His smirk drops and a look of concentration comes onto his face.

“You know, sometimes I like to think you keep eating lunch with me because you like me or that we’re friends or something. But I also tend to think you only keep me around for my work.” He’s teasing you again and you tap the top of his notepad.

“You’re very much aware how much I like having you around. And I’m very much aware about how much you love to collect the information. Sometimes I think you only come back to hang out with me is because I’m not as tightlipped as some of my peers and give you things you can actually report on.” Sehun chuckles at that and the crinkle around his eye is back with that childlike glimmer in the eyes. He looks a lot more at ease than his funky smirk and that impish gleam instead.

He uncaps his pen with his mouth, his other hand busy flipping to a brand-new page and holding a worn notepad with too many torn papers taken from it. He keeps the cap in his mouth and hums for you to signal he’s ready.

“She’s 15.” His eyebrows furrow and a lisped curse slips out of him as he jots it down. He shakes his head sadly at that. “Last seen at the mall with her friends. Eyewitnesses say that she was roaming one of the stores alone before she disappeared. Camera footage doesn’t pick her up leaving the mall, but it’s been picked clean.”

“Has her friends or family said anything about behavior? Being more secretive or distant lately?” Sehun’s habit of keeping the pen cap in his mouth makes his words very mumbled and hard to understand. However, being around him and working with him so often has gotten you used to his silly sounded sentences. You still reach over to pluck it from his lips and snicker that his playfully annoyed glare.

“You don’t think I’ve asked? No, parents and friends claim that nothing was up. They let me in her room and let me search to find any hidden notes. Even let me look through her diary and it was just about some kid drama at school. Seemed ordinary to me, nothing that made me have to investigate this drama. She’s not a part of it anyways, just commenting about how it’s the talk of the halls and dumb.”

Sehun taps the pen against his cheek while your fingers are fiddling with the cap. He’s obviously not to report your words verbatim as it’s not really relevant, but he does appreciate how you share your findings with him. He appreciates your trust in him that he doesn’t skew the details or add too much personal information about these people. He appreciates how you let your thoughts wander with him. You tend to loosely think around him, bouncing ideas off of him every so often or word vomiting to better understand things as you try to explain.

You’d finished with your food while Sehun continues writing and jotting down notes, most likely questions or other tidbits not too concerning for you. Whenever he asks a question he needs for the article you respond and then nudge his plate so that he eats. It goes on like this a couple moments longer until he’s out of food and questions. He finishes jotting down whatever else he wants to and sticks the tip of his pen out to you. You, used to this procedure, cap his pen and look back up into his satisfied eyes. You scoff at his smug look and avoid his gaze as he rests his chin in his hand. He continues to stare at you while you pick at any crumbs you find interesting.

“Got everything you need?”

“How about we get some dessert?” You almost object and tell him you should be back by now until he starts collecting his things and getting out of his seat. “And don’t worry. I’ll pay. You just have to pay me back next time.” You sink lower into your seat in defeat and groan, rubbing your hands over your face. He laughs a little and stands behind your seat, grabbing your shoulders and shaking you lightly. “Come on, Sugar. You’re gonna need some sugar to keep functioning the rest of the day.”

“You and your dumb nicknames are going to kill me before the stress from this case will.” He stops shaking you and gives you a fond squeeze of your shoulders.

“Let’s go before you die on me then.” You turn in your seat to watch him head towards the door before deciding to follow suit and grunting when you do get up. There’s a mini pep in his step and you’re guessing that’s because Sehun has another excuse to visit that favorite bakery of his that a friend of his works at. You couldn’t blame him. There were some doughnuts and cupcakes that were to die for.

As you passed by, you saw some missing persons posters hung up in some alley walls or taped to some lampposts. You’re guessing that’s how Mrs. Kim got news of the missing girl before you caught up with her. Sehun notices your gaze following the long trail of posters, most likely hung up by the gang of girls that were last with their friend. “Is that her?” The both of you come to a stop in front of a small cluster of the posters. He takes on down and holds it out in front of the both of you. You nod and Sehun folds the paper into fours and pockets it for later. “That saves me having to dig around to put that in the paper.”

He tries to keep the mood up as he hums a tune, swinging his arms around and looking around at the people walking the streets. It does little to help, but you do appreciate the thought as he glances at you every now and then to check in. He’s switched songs so many times since he opts for a different, better tune to keep him occupied. You’re trying to decipher his fifth song switch when you finally make it to the bakery.

“Kyungsoo!” Sehun sings into the shop as the door chimes noisily. Luckily, Kyungsoo isn’t tending to any customers at the moment. He pops his head out from behind the counter with a blank face and his lips drawn into a straight line. However he may look, there’s a happy sparkle in his eye at the sight of you two.

“What do you want now?” He asks sarcastically but readies himself anyways.

“I want something with chocolate.” Sehun says as he scans the overhead menu even though he knows exactly what he wants. “Please.” He doesn’t forget to add with a warm smile, which Kyungsoo returns in kind. They both turn to you expectantly and you sputter, not having anything in mind just yet.

“O-Oh! I’ll, uh… I’ll have…” You pause and bite your lips. Suddenly, you’re overwhelmed by all the choices even though you’ve been here before.

“How about some donut holes? And if you don’t like it, you can always have some of mine,” Sehun offers as he turns that warm smile to you.

“What, trying to stick with that cops eat donuts type of thing?” You joke but are grateful at the distraction from you bumbling about. Kyungsoo lets out an amused huff and prepares something for you both of you, making sure to toss in a couple extra pieces in the bag for you. You give him a silent thanks as you nod and take the bag from him as Sehun whips out his wallet in a practiced manner.

The first bite of the donut hole is full of cinnamon and a little honey. Kyungsoo’s been experimenting and you hum at the taste as you squeeze the half-bitten donut hole. As Sehun’s card is ringing up he turns to you with an eyebrow as he wordlessly asks how it tastes. Instead, you offer him the rest of your bite while you chew, and he instantly opens up his mouth to eat the rest. It’s almost like you’ve done this a million times in your life and a million more in your past lives together; you’ve known each other for that long, you think. The motion is easy and simple as he hums and turns back to collect his card and compliments Kyungsoo’s creation with his mouth full.

“It’s good. I like the new flavors, it’s better than just the boring sugar on it.” The words are muffled and both you and Kyungsoo give him a judgmental look as he wipes some of the cinnamon off the corner of his lips.

“… Thank you. I’ve been slowly trying to add more to the menu where I can,” Kyungsoo notes, and you look up again at the menu to see he’s added another couple options beside his regular few in his neat handwriting. He smiles at you again when you look back down. “Keep up the good work. Don’t push yourself, okay?”

You promise him and Sehun gently nudges you to turn and leave so he has a better exit path. It’s not like he couldn’t have gone around you, but it seems he opted to just turn and go. And with his broad shoulders, it seemed you were in his path. You nudge him back as you exit the bakery with your treats in hand.

“What are you doing tonight?” Sehun asks with his mouth full again, this time from a bite of his chocolatey pastry. Crumbs fly in the air and the snort as they do so, but your friend knows no shame and continues to look at you expectantly.

You roll your eyes with a smile. “Probably looking over the case again… and waaay more paperwork than I’m happy with.”

He hums at that as he continues to walk you back to the station. You feel like he’s about to ask you something else, but you’re cut off by your phone ringing and his own buzzing with a couple messages.

“Breaks over.” He comments with a sigh as he scrolls through the messages and tries to type back with the same hand that grips his phone.

“It is.”

The both of you look at each other and trade another bite of each other’s treats. You took a bite of his mainly since you wanted something sweet, and he had his own bite since you felt like you had to repay him for it. He gives you a wave as he, thankfully, doesn’t shout with his mouth full of donut as he heads off to his office building. While you head back, you manage to catch the phone call on its last couple of rings before it could go to voicemail.

“Hello?”

“It’s Boa. You have a couple more files on your desk regarding the girls,” she says with a tired sigh. You know the chief thinks this is wasting time and resources, but you also know she wants to give these girls justice. “Some more schedules of their routines, some stuff they had upcoming, and some chat histories. There’s also someone waiting at the station to talk to you, a friend of the most recent one.”

“I’m on my way.”

“Good,” she states and hangs up the call. You huff and make your way back to the station with a quickened pace. You wonder what this friend has to say since you’ve interviewed the family and teachers recently. Your mind is still reeling with possibilities when you make it back and find a familiar face at your desk.

“Yena, what can I do for you?” You ask kindly as you take a seat by the high school girl. She has a puffiness around her eyes that indicate she hasn’t been able to get a lot of sleep and has probably been crying a lot. You offer her some of your donut holes and she politely declines by holding a hand up before thinking of the right words to say.

Yena was the same age as her missing friend, 15 with a short bob and still wearing her school uniform. You’re wondering if she skipped school to come here, and she confirms your suspicions as she wrings her hands. “I just give you these. I found these in Chae’s locker, it’s some of her notebooks and some flyers. These events are all in the past, but one of them is her dream journal. We both keep one to achieve our dreams, except she doesn’t share hers because she thinks that the dream won’t come true then.”

You take the stack of papers and notebooks from her, eyeing the one she was referring to. It can’t be mistaken with the doodling, stickers, glitter, and large words that say ‘DREAM JOURNAL!’ right on the front.

“Thank you, Yena.” You say kindly, knowing that you’ll have even more to sort through and probably come out empty handed with, but every little bit helps. If you could be armed with even that much of a toothpick, you’d count it as a win.

“I just want my best friend to come back. That’s all I’ve been writing about in mine! I want her to come home.” Her eyes water and you push a box of tissues to her. She takes a shaky breath and dabs at her eyes gently and you realize that her eyes are redder than you thought. She dabs to prevent further irritating her eyes that have been covered in makeup to hide just how bad she’s been taking it.

“I promise, you won’t need a journal to make that come true, okay?” You say gently and comfort the poor girl. It’s another 15 minutes before she gets up and leaves, going back to school she promises.

You sigh as you look at the stack of notebooks she gave you. It was all her school notebooks besides her dream journal, which you knew wouldn’t be much of a look through unless you wanted to relieve your high school days and quiz yourself on whatever the kids were learning these days.

“You know, you shouldn’t be promising things like that.”

“Jongin, that girl was crying.”

“And you don’t think she won’t be if you can’t deliver that promise?”

You clench your hands into fists, narrowing your eyes on the word that seems to be mocking you right now. Because it might be true, you can only ‘DREAM!’ that this will all come to a happy end. Jongin sighs and pats your back.

“I’ll help you get through like 3 of those. Make sure it’s all just random notes so you know if they have anything that’s not about some ancient literature piece, okay?” He asks gently and you take a deep breath.

“Okay,” you say quietly and start sorting through the flyers first.

A lot of them are of school events, cram school, auditions for some of the modeling or singing agencies, and one was even a poster of an actor you recognized from a popular drama currently. You chuckled as you saw the sticky note still attached to it that indicated Chae’s wishes to marry a guy like him. A couple more hours pass in between you checking the notebooks, painstakingly flipping through and reading every page just to make sure, and having to deal with other logistical tasks around the office.

Like promised, Jongin eventually makes it through the notebooks and puts them all on your desk with a sad shake of his head. “Math, English, and Composition. All notes, most of it is textbook and following what they did in class. Anything else was practice problems or doodles. These are no good.”

You groan and hang your head. “I’ve just barely gotten through her other two notebooks. A music one from a piano unit and one she kept solely for cram school. The flyers are all past events or just random ones that I think were trash and she never got to throw away.” You look pointedly at the crumpled up flyer that was from her school’s ‘Fish Club’… whatever that’s about. “Had to get through all the other files from the girls too… nothing new. I saved that dream journal for last.”

“Why, so you can honor making sure her dreams come true?” Jongin asks with a smile, lifting your spirits some.

“Yeah…” You trail off absently. You aren’t sure if maybe you were truly keeping up Yena and Chae’s superstition about their dream journals or if you were hoping that the last thing you got to would prove you some substantial evidence. Maybe you should’ve gotten to that first if so. But then you would’ve needed to spend extra time on it. Ugh! Another sigh makes it way out of you and Jongin frowns now.

“Save that for tomorrow. How about you come out with some of us for some drinks tonight? Get that tension off you.” Jongin gives you an expectant look as he sits on your desk. You rub your face and look up at him through your fingers as you slouch in your chair. “And don’t even think about getting to that journal tonight. Your brain is fried, you need a break, you’re burning yourself out.”

You purse your lips at him and groan again, this time throwing your head back over the top of your desk chair and spinning in it a little.

“Fine. But only for a little bit.”

Famous last words. It was not just a little bit. Jongin kept you entertained and kept handing you drinks as you listened to your peers share drunken stories. Even Jongdae came in for a little bit to say hi to everyone and cry a little about his wife and kid, showing everyone pictures. You were sure that he was sober and just living the high of life.

A twinge of jealousy shot through you at him being able to enjoy his life so much right now. You downed your drink and stared at the empty cup grumpily. You felt just like the cup. Maybe you are a cup. Did your legs always feel like that?

“Woah, you doing okay?” Jongin asks as he gets into your space to take a look at you. He was pretty tipsy, but doing way better than you right now. Both in spirits and sobriety.

“Jongiiiiin, I’m like this cup.” He has to jump back a little as you shove your cup in his face. “You see how it’s wet on the outside?”

“From the ice?” He asks with a raised brow.

“I’m all sweaty!” You shout at him, suddenly feeling like the room is a lot hotter.

“No, you’re not.”

“Look! Feel!” You try to grab his hand to bring it up to your forehead and he grimaces. He shakes his head and you try a couple more times before he pins your hand to the table and reaches for his phone. “What are you doing?”

“Getting you home,” he says as he scrolls in his contacts. You try to look at the screen to see who he’s calling, but he brings the phone straight to his ear and turns a skeptical eye on you to make sure you don’t keep trying to bring his hand to probably stick you in the eyes.

You’re too distracted by pouting to care who he’s talking to. And your head hurts. The alcohol is hitting you fast. How much did you have again? Or was it because you drank the rest of your three-fourths of a cup in less than a minute? When was the last time you even drank like this? Since before you took on the first case ten months ago?

“He’s coming in 15,” Jongin says in your ear. You pop your head up from the table. You didn’t even know you had it down on the table in the first place.

“Who?” You ask sluggishly as you try to keep your eyes open. You don’t bother hearing a reply as you quickly make your way to the bathroom. It’s quieter in there, and colder too. You feel better already by giving yourself some space and time to think for yourself. Not really feeling like you need to get everything out just yet, you lean against the wall and take some deep breaths.

Eventually, there’s a knock on the door and a call for your name. It takes a couple more tries before you push yourself off the wall and wash your face.

“Oh, good. I thought I was going to have to pull your head out of a toilet bowl.”

You yell out in shock, water flinging everywhere when you look up to see Sehun in the mirror.

“What are you doing here?” Water drips off your chin and you remember that you were washing your face. You sigh and see if any got on your shirt – a lot did – and look for the paper towels to wipe.

“At the bar or in the bathroom?” He asks. You grunt in response, eyes blocked by the soggy paper you’re using to scrub the water from your eyes. “Jongin told me you had too much and needed to be brought home. And again, I was making sure you didn’t decide to punish yourself and give yourself a swirlie.”

“Why would I do that?” You grumble at him. Your head was a lot clearer thanks to the rest, you probably spent all of Jongin’s promised 15 minutes against that wall. Plus, the water cooling you off made you feel like you could at least walk to a car before passing out.

“He said you looked sad.”

“I’m not sad.”

He gives you a once over. Hair a mess, probably from the wall. Face still red, from scrubbing with that scratchy paper towel, embarrassment, or the alcohol, probably from all three. Clothes wet from you spilling two handfuls of water all over yourself. And the heavy burden of the finding of 21 girls coming crashing back down onto your shoulders.

“Yeah… you look pretty sad to me.”

“Thanks,” you bite a little harsher than you intend to. But, thanks to the one who made you build a tougher skin with a level of sass on his own, Sehun takes it all in stride and smiles. He merely grabs you by the shoulders and leads you out of the bar. Jongin nods and waves you off, keeping your coworkers distracted by the state you’re in so you don’t get teased when you come back the next morning.

Between the time Sehun came and got you and when he arrived, he had already transferred your stuff from your coworker’s car to his. You saw this when he helped you climb in and your bags of notebooks were sitting in the back seat. Sehun buckled you in and shut the door for you. The state of mind you were in currently clearly showed you could do at least that, but Sehun chose not to care and did it for you anyways while you watched him walk around the car to the driver’s seat.

“If you fall asleep, just know that I’m not carrying you inside.”

“So my knight in shining armor does have a flaw for tonight’s rescue.” You sarcastically bat your eyes at him and he chuckles, shaking his head and he starts towards your apartment.

“I meant to add that I’d probably be dragging you up those three flights of stairs. By your feet. Head hitting each step.” Before you can ask why in offense, he grins with a shrug. “You went through all that training, not me. All my muscles go to my ears for listening to you go on and on about cases.”

“I’m the reason why you have a job,” You grumble as you stare at the passing buildings. Sehun keeps that stupid smile on his face and laughs.

“Wouldn’t have it any other way.”

The ride to yours is a lot quicker than usual since at this hour it’s already late hardly any traffic. Again, Sehun is humming some songs and tapping his fingers against the steering wheel. At least this time there’s less of him switching it up since he’s forced to sing along for the whole 3 minutes. He’s still humming as he grabs all your stuff from the back seat and follows you up the stairs to your apartment. You silently curse the fact that the elevator is down for maintenance since you wish you didn’t have to climb that much while drunk. You feel even worse when you realize that Sehun took all of your bags and all of those notebooks, binders, and files are no joke. It’s a wonder that kids can carry all that on their backs plus whatever else you put into the bags.

“Why are you looking at me like that?” Sehun asks as you pause on the steps, a little behind you and huffing a little.

“For someone who claimed he doesn’t have the strength training to carry me up the stairs, you sure are doing real fine while walking up two and a half flights of stairs and carrying all those books.” Sehun lets out another huff, shorter than usual that let you know he was working up quite a sweat.

“I work out.” He says plainly and grins at you again, which makes you roll your eyes at the statement and continue forth. He’s been over before, plenty of times. He’s come over to bring food on your sleepless nights when you just can’t sleep or spend so long trying to work on another case.

You finally make it to your apartment and eventually into your room. Sehun had set the bags down by your couch where you already had a bunch of files spread out on the coffee table. He tuts and grabs one of the papers and gives it a quick skim.

While you change into comfortable, cleaner clothes he hums and calls out from your small space. “You really need to learn about work-life balance.” He sets the paper back down and goes about preparing you some essentials for when you wake up in the morning definitely hungover.

“You know why I can’t,” you call back as you collapse onto the bed with a groan. Your body all of a sudden feels so heavy and it’s hard to keep your eyes open. You huff into your pillow as you try to block out the haunting words of all the names of the 21 girls that prevent you from sleeping at night. That prevent you from functioning unless you can figure out a way to bring them all home.

From your couch, Sehun makes himself comfy and sighs. He folds his hands over his stomach and quietly says to himself, “Yeah… I know.”

[loeyshandtattoo]

the lady of moonreach

SECOND CHAPTER, Whispers in the Shadows

chapter summary: Namra still insists on the restoration of Moonreach, and manages to have an upper hand with her new friend, despite that, it doesn't grant her the immunity from the members of the council, not even the feelings that she is slowly growing for the king-conqueror. wc: 3.7k

THE MORNING SUN CAST ALONG THE SHADOWS AT STONEHEARTH, where the scars of war were still evident despite the city's efforts to heal. As I walked through the bustling streets, the contrasts were stark—rebuilt homes and vibrant markets stood side by side with remnants of past destruction. Chanyeol and I had made headway in revitalizing the capital, but the crucial matter of Moonreach loomed large over our efforts.

That is why, the council again has called for a meeting, and this time it was to make peace on the incident the other day about the supposed plans on Moonreach's restoration initiative.

In the council chamber, Chanyeol sat at the head of the table, his gaze fixed on the array of documents before him. The tension from the previous meeting still hung in the air, the friction between us palpable. Junmyeon, Chanyeol’s advisor, was present, and his role in our current predicament was undeniable.

From what I know, Junmyeon owns a piece of land in the Verdantia, where the House Baek rules over in the confines of Greenwood Keep, and Junmyeon managed to have owned hectares of land and named the estate, Eldergrove Keep. His political background is quite remarkable given his family history, whom have been a loyal political advisor to the king, but at this case, he trusts my side, and that is the one he's about to defend in this meeting.

“Moonreach needs to be our priority,” I said firmly, breaking the silence. “It’s not just a castle; it’s a symbol of our commitment to the northern regions and to the legacy of Lord Greenwell.”

Chanyeol looked up, his eyes narrowing. “Namra, I’m aware of its significance, but resources are limited. We can’t simply divert them from other pressing needs.”

Junmyeon interjected smoothly, “Lord Greenwell’s estate was more than just a symbol; it was a vital strategic location. Restoring Moonreach could stabilize the northern regions and reinforce our control there. It’s not only about sentiment; it’s about strategy.”

Chanyeol’s jaw tightened. He was clearly struggling with the implications. “Fine. We’ll allocate the resources for Moonreach. But you, Namra, will need to oversee the process.”

I nodded, meeting his gaze steadily. “I’ll handle it.”

As the meeting concluded, the strained atmosphere between Chanyeol and me was almost tangible. His reluctance was evident, but I was determined to press on. The urgency of the restoration was more than just a task—it was a mission driven by personal stakes and the memory of Lord Greenwell.

As we exited the council room, Chanyeol’s gaze lingered on Junmyeon. There was a flicker of irritation in his eyes, an insecurity that had become more pronounced since our earlier discussions. I could sense the undercurrent of rivalry, a tension that went beyond mere politics.

In the corridors, Chanyeol caught up with me, his expression resolute. “Namra, don’t think for a moment that I’m underestimating the importance of Moonreach. But I need you to understand that this kingdom’s survival is at stake. Every decision we make has consequences.”

His voice was clipped, his frustration barely contained. “I understand,” I said, matching his tone. “But Moonreach is not a luxury; it’s a necessity.”

Chanyeol’s eyes met mine with a mix of defiance and something softer—a flicker of understanding perhaps, buried beneath the surface. “Very well. I’ll support your efforts, but don’t expect me to stand idly by if things go awry.”

Right after the conversation, he returned to his office, where he can continue stressing over the political matters of the kingdom.

The corridors of Ironhold were abuzz with the muted echoes of footsteps and murmured conversations. The high ceilings and grand tapestries spoke of a bygone era of opulence, but the current atmosphere was heavy with the weight of political tension. As I walked through the hallways, my mind was preoccupied with the recent council meeting. The debate over Moonreach had not only been a professional ordeal but a deeply personal one.

Finally, things were turning to my favor.

I turned a corner, my steps slowing as I saw Junmyeon waiting near a grand window overlooking the courtyard. His presence was calm, his demeanor always one of composed authority. His sharp eyes met mine as I approached, a subtle nod acknowledging my arrival.

“Namra,” Junmyeon greeted, his tone warm but measured. “I was hoping we could talk. The council meeting seemed particularly intense today.”

I offered a small, appreciative smile. “Yes, it was. I’m glad you’re here. I was hoping to discuss the next steps for Moonreach. There’s still so much to be done, and your input has been invaluable.”

Junmyeon gestured for me to follow him to a quieter corner of the hall, away from the bustling activity. We stood by a large map of the kingdom displayed on the wall, a detailed depiction of the land with various territories marked.

“I’m glad to see that Chanyeol has agreed to prioritize Moonreach,” Junmyeon said, his eyes scanning the map. “It’s a crucial step, not just for the northern regions, but for the entire kingdom’s stability.”

I nodded, appreciating his continued support. “Indeed. But there are still obstacles—both logistical and political. I worry about the challenges ahead.”

Junmyeon’s expression turned thoughtful. “Restoring Moonreach is more than a symbolic gesture; it’s about reinforcing our northern defenses and showing our commitment to those who have been loyal to the crown.”

I glanced at him, sensing a deeper understanding in his words. “You seem particularly invested in this. Why?”

Junmyeon looked at me with a hint of surprise, then offered a small, almost self-deprecating smile. “You’ve caught me. My family’s history has always been intertwined with the political landscape of Iris. My estate, Eldergrove Keep, has been a center of strategy and diplomacy. Supporting Moonreach is not just a personal favor; it’s a way to ensure that the northern regions remain stable.”

“Your support has been crucial,” I said sincerely. “But I can’t help feeling that there’s more to it. Your involvement seems… personal.”

Junmyeon met my gaze steadily. “Perhaps. I believe in what Moonreach represents. It’s a symbol of resilience, and with the kingdom’s future so uncertain, we need every symbol of strength we can get.”

I sighed, feeling a mixture of relief and uncertainty. “Chanyeol’s reluctance has been palpable. I can sense his frustration, especially with how closely you and I have been working together.”

Junmyeon’s eyes softened with understanding. “Chanyeol has his own burdens to bear. The pressure of leadership can be overwhelming, and sometimes it manifests as frustration or insecurity. His struggle with prioritizing Moonreach is a reflection of his broader concerns for the kingdom.”

We stood in silence for a moment, the gravity of our conversation sinking in. Junmyeon’s presence was a comforting constant amidst the chaos.

“I appreciate your perspective,” I said finally. “And I’m grateful for your support. It means more than you know.”

Junmyeon offered a reassuring smile. “We’re all in this together, Namra. The kingdom’s future relies on our collective efforts. If there’s anything more I can do to help, you have my word.”

As we continued to discuss the finer points of the restoration and strategy, the connection between us grew stronger. Junmyeon’s support was not just political; it was a genuine commitment to the kingdom’s wellbeing, and it was clear that our shared goals were forging a meaningful alliance.

The conversation eventually drew to a close, and as I prepared to leave, Junmyeon gave me a final, encouraging nod. “Keep pushing forward. We’re making progress, and every step counts.”

I watched him walk away, a sense of determination settling within me. The path ahead was fraught with challenges, but with allies like Junmyeon by my side, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. As I moved toward the next task, the halls of Ironhold seemed a little less daunting, knowing that support and understanding were within reach.

Chanyeol's POV

As I returned to the comfort of my office, my thoughts were clouded by a mix of frustration and something else—an unfamiliar sense of vulnerability. The tension between Namra and me was more than just professional; there was an undeniable personal undertone that I struggled to understand.

The way she spoke about Moonreach with such fervor, her unwavering dedication—it was both admirable and unsettling. I couldn’t help but feel a pang of jealousy whenever I saw her interact with Junmyeon. Their camaraderie, their shared understanding—it was a stark contrast to the growing distance between Namra and me.

I found myself staring out of the window of my chambers, lost in thought. Junmyeon’s influence and his closeness to Namra made me uneasy. I recalled a moment from our earlier discussions, where Junmyeon had subtly encouraged Namra’s efforts. There was something almost calculated in his support, and I couldn’t shake the feeling that his motives were not entirely pure.

I recalled a memory from a few weeks ago, when Junmyeon had suggested a strategy that had seemed to benefit both parties. At the time, I’d appreciated his insight, but now, with Namra so closely involved, I wondered if his intentions were more self-serving. His history with my family, his unspoken ambitions—these were the shadows lurking in the back of my mind.

The way Namra and Junmyeon had spoken in the council hall, the ease with which they exchanged ideas—it made me question my own position. My feelings for Namra, a strange mixture of admiration and frustration, only added to my insecurities.

I was beginning to realize that my feelings towards her were not as straightforward as I had assumed. There was an undeniable connection, a growing sense of respect that bordered on something deeper. Yet, every gesture of support seemed to come with a price, a reminder of the political and personal complexities we faced.

As I turned back to my desk, I felt the weight of the kingdom’s challenges pressing down on me. My thoughts were tangled with doubts about Junmyeon’s true motives and the growing closeness between Namra and the advisor. But beneath it all, there was an undeniable yearning for something more—a connection that transcended the political strife.

Somehow, I refuse to believe that it's anything more than having certain deeper feelings.

Namra's POV

As days passed, Chanyeol’s demeanor remained guarded, but small gestures began to shift the dynamic between us. He made an effort to consult with me directly about the progress of the restoration, and there were moments when his attention seemed to soften, if only slightly.

One evening, as I reviewed plans for Moonreach, Chanyeol appeared at my side. “How is the restoration progressing?” he asked, his voice betraying an uncharacteristic note of concern.

“It’s coming along,” I replied, glancing up. “But we’ve encountered some obstacles. We need additional resources to address them.”

Chanyeol’s brow furrowed. “I’ll see what I can do. We can’t afford delays.”

The brief exchange was loaded with unspoken tension, but beneath it, there was an undercurrent of mutual respect. Chanyeol’s willingness to assist, even in small ways, hinted at a growing recognition of the importance of our shared goals.

In the council room, Junmyeon continued to play a pivotal role, his influence evident in the strategies we implemented. Chanyeol’s frustration with Junmyeon was palpable, but there were moments when he acknowledged the advisor’s contributions, if begrudgingly.

Meanwhile, the situation in Dawnspire remained tense. Lady Ambers was grappling with political instability, and her challenges were a stark reminder of the broader issues facing the kingdom. Chanyeol’s focus on these issues sometimes overshadowed his interactions with me, but there were brief instances where he seemed to appreciate the gravity of our situation.

As I worked tirelessly on the restoration of Moonreach, the weight of the task was ever-present. The castle’s rebuilding was more than a physical endeavor; it was a symbol of hope and renewal for the kingdom. And despite the ongoing friction, Chanyeol’s sporadic gestures of support hinted at a slowly thawing relationship.

The early evening light cast long, dramatic shadows through the grand windows of Ironhold, painting the stone floors in warm hues. The hallways were quieter now, the clamor of the day giving way to an eerie calm. I had been heading towards the archives to review the restoration plans for Moonreach, seeking solitude amidst the castle’s grandeur.

As I rounded a corner, I nearly bumped into Chanyeol, who had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. His sudden presence made my heart skip a beat. I looked up into his intense gaze, and for a moment, time seemed to stretch between us.

“Namra,” he said, a hint of surprise coloring his voice. “I didn’t expect to see you here.”

I stepped back, regaining my composure. “Just heading to the archives. The restoration plans need my attention.”

Chanyeol’s eyes narrowed slightly. “I was actually on my way there myself. Perhaps we could walk together? It’s been a while since we had a chance to talk without the usual constraints.”

His suggestion was unexpected, but I agreed, and we started down the corridor side by side. The space between us seemed to crackle with an electric charge, our proximity heightening the tension.

“I’ve been thinking,” Chanyeol began, his voice low and deliberate, “about our last conversation. You were quite insistent on Moonreach.”

I turned to face him, meeting his gaze with equal intensity. “Moonreach isn’t just a restoration project. It’s a symbol of hope and commitment. It’s personal.”

Chanyeol’s expression hardened momentarily. “Personal, yes. But what about the broader issues? The instability in Dawnspire, for instance—are they less important?”

I chose my words carefully. “Every issue is significant, but Moonreach holds a deeper meaning for me. It’s not merely about strategy; it’s about honoring a legacy.”

Chanyeol’s eyes darkened, his internal struggle evident. “And yet, sometimes I wonder if you’re more invested in this project than in the kingdom’s other needs.”

Before I could reply, we reached the archives. The room seemed too large and impersonal for the conversation we were having. Chanyeol’s eyes met mine with a mixture of frustration and something else—an unspoken vulnerability.

“Perhaps we should continue this conversation somewhere more private,” he suggested, his tone softer but charged with an edge of tension.

We found a small, secluded study room just off the main corridor. The room was dimly lit by the soft glow of evening light filtering through the narrow windows. It was intimate, the warmth of the setting creating a cocoon around us.

As we entered, Chanyeol’s demeanor shifted subtly. He leaned against a table, his posture relaxed yet exuding an air of controlled intensity. “Namra,” he began, his voice dropping to a hushed tone, “I value your dedication, but I can’t shake the feeling that there’s more behind your actions.”

I stood close to him, the proximity causing my pulse to quicken. “And what makes you think that?”

Chanyeol’s eyes bore into mine, a storm of emotions swirling beneath the surface. “It’s the way you speak of Moonreach. As if it’s not just a task but a deeply personal mission.”

The space between us seemed to shrink, the air growing thicker with tension. Chanyeol’s gaze flickered between my eyes and my lips, his breath coming slightly uneven. “Sometimes,” he continued, his voice almost a whisper, “I feel like there’s a part of you that’s deliberately hidden.”

The moment hung heavy with unspoken tension. Chanyeol’s vulnerability was palpable, and I could feel the magnetic pull between us. The briefest touch of his hand against mine sent a shiver down my spine.

“I’m driven by my commitment,” I said, my voice low and steady. “But if you feel there’s more, you should be open about it.”

Chanyeol’s gaze lingered on me, his expression a mix of frustration and something softer—an unspoken longing. “Perhaps you’re right. But it’s hard to ignore the way we seem to clash and connect simultaneously.”

Our faces were inches apart now, the warmth of his breath mingling with mine. The tension was almost unbearable, and I could see the struggle in his eyes—an internal battle between restraint and the pull of something deeper.

Before I could react, the door creaked open slightly, a distant sound breaking the moment. Chanyeol took a step back, his expression a conflicted mixture of desire and frustration. “We should focus on our tasks,” he said, his voice returning to its usual clipped tone. “There’s too much at stake.”

I nodded, trying to steady my own racing heart. “Yes, of course. We both have our roles to play.”

As we left the room, the silence between us was charged with the residue of our interaction. The connection was undeniable, yet shrouded in the uncertainty of what lay ahead. Chanyeol’s guarded demeanor and the intensity of our exchange left me with a sense of anticipation—and a lingering tension that promised further complications.

However, a part of me can't help but of the feeling being watched. As if someone is monitoring my every move, and that wants to make me plan step ahead.

Third Person POV

As dusk fell over Stonehearth, the grand halls of Ironhold were cloaked in shadows, the fading light casting eerie patterns on the stone walls. Junmyeon, having just finished his duties for the day, decided to take a walk to clear his mind. His thoughts were still occupied with the ongoing tensions between Chanyeol and Namra, as well as the looming threat of unrest in the kingdom.

He wandered through the dimly lit corridors of Ironhold, taking a path he rarely used. His steps were muffled by the thick carpets that lined the halls, and the soft glow of wall sconces provided just enough light to navigate by. As he approached a secluded part of the castle, he noticed a faint glow coming from under a door slightly ajar.

Curiosity piqued, Junmyeon moved closer, pressing his ear against the crack of the door. Through the narrow opening, he could hear the low murmur of voices. The room on the other side seemed to be a private chamber, often used for discreet meetings. Junmyeon’s instincts told him that something significant was happening behind that door.

Carefully, he inched the door open just enough to peer inside. What he saw made his pulse quicken.

One of the councilors, a burly man with a scar across his cheek, was speaking in hushed tones.

“We can’t let this opportunity slip away. With the unrest in Dawnspire and the focus on Moonreach, this is the perfect time to act.”

A second councilor, a woman with sharp features and calculating eyes, nodded in agreement. “The kingdom is divided. Chanyeol’s obsession with Moonreach has left other regions vulnerable. If we make our move now, we could strengthen our position significantly.”

Junmyeon’s eyes narrowed as he listened intently.

“We need to leverage this,” the burly councilor continued. “If we can undermine Chanyeol’s support in the northern regions, we can weaken his hold on the throne. Our allies in the northern territories are already feeling the strain. We just need to push them further.”

“The resources being diverted to Moonreach could have been used elsewhere, possibly in ways that would benefit us. We can’t let him consolidate his power too easily,” the first voice continued.

"The restoration plans should not be overlooked as well. See to it that what can be done to weaken the loyal alliances of the conqueror should remain that way."

"Agreed. The northerners have always been the easiest people to deal with especially now that we have the Lady of Moonreach at the palm of our hand."

Another councilor, a younger man with a nervous demeanor, chimed in. “And what about the reports of Chanyeol’s increased consultations with Namra? It seems he’s growing closer to her. Should we be concerned?”

"Definitely, saw each other earlier, the king-conqueror is on his knees for the beauty of that whore."

The woman with the calculating eyes leaned in. “Good. We’ll use that to our advantage. If Chanyeol’s focus is divided between Namra and the kingdom’s issues, he’ll be more susceptible to our plans. We need to keep an eye on their interactions and find a way to exploit any weaknesses.”

Junmyeon’s mind raced as he absorbed the conversation. The loyalists were not only scheming to strengthen their position but also to exploit the growing tension between Chanyeol and Namra. Their plan was more dangerous than he had anticipated, involving manipulation and strategic moves to destabilize Chanyeol’s rule.

Realizing the gravity of what he had overheard, Junmyeon quietly withdrew from the door, careful not to make any noise. He needed to report this information to Chanyeol immediately, but he also knew that he had to tread carefully. Revealing that he had been eavesdropping could raise suspicions and complicate matters further.

The evening’s revelations only deepened the intrigue and danger surrounding the kingdom, and Junmyeon knew that the coming days would be crucial in determining the fate of Iris.

He knew what must be done.

Namra's POV

As the night continue to grow, I walked beside Asia through the dimly lit corridors of Ironhold. The weight of the day’s events lingered, casting a shadow over our conversation. Chanyeol’s reactions, the looming issues with Moonreach—everything seemed to be tangled in an intricate web.

After hearing of what had happened between Chanyeol and I, Asia whispered my name.

“Namra,” Asia said quietly, her voice breaking the silence. Her tone was serious, and I could sense the weight behind her words. “We need to talk.”

I looked at her, noting the concern etched on her face. “What is it?”

Asia hesitated, choosing her words carefully. “I’ve noticed how close you’ve become with Chanyeol. I just want to remind you of something important.”

I frowned, my curiosity piqued. “What about Chanyeol?”

Asia’s expression was a mix of worry and resolve. “You need to be careful. I understand that there are feelings involved, but you have to remember why we’re here. It’s easy for emotions to complicate things, and I wouldn’t want that to jeopardize what we’re working towards.”

I took a deep breath, trying to understand her perspective. “I’m trying to keep my emotions in check. It’s just that… sometimes it’s hard to separate everything.”

Asia’s gaze softened. “I know it’s not easy. But our focus needs to remain clear. We can’t let personal entanglements distract us from our goals.”

Before I could respond, Asia signaled that we had reached our destination. “Junmyeon is expecting us. He wants to meet us in the observatory tower.”

The observatory tower was a secluded place in Ironhold, offering a panoramic view of the city. It felt like an appropriate setting for a private conversation.

As we entered the tower, Junmyeon was already there, standing by the large window that framed the night sky. The room was dimly lit, the glow of lanterns casting soft shadows across the stone walls.

“Namra, Asia,” Junmyeon greeted us with a nod. “Thank you for coming.”

I nodded back, exchanging a glance with Asia before we moved closer to Junmyeon. His demeanor was serious, and I could sense that he had important information to share.

“Before we begin,” Junmyeon said, his voice low, “I need to bring something to your attention. There are troubling rumors circulating among certain factions within the council. It seems that some members are plotting against Chanyeol.”

My heart skipped a beat. “Plotting against Chanyeol? What do you mean?”

Junmyeon’s expression darkened. “I’ve overheard discussions suggesting that there are plans to undermine his authority. The details are vague, but there are hints of a scheme to discredit him and destabilize his rule.”

Asia’s eyes widened slightly. “And who’s behind this?”

Junmyeon shook his head. “I don’t have a clear answer yet. It could be individuals who are dissatisfied with the current leadership or who have their own agendas. What’s certain is that Chanyeol is at risk.”

I exchanged a worried glance with Asia. This revelation was unsettling, and it only heightened the complexity of our situation. “What should we do?”

Junmyeon’s gaze was firm. “For now, we need to be vigilant. I’m working on gathering more information, but I wanted you both to be aware of the potential threat. Keep your eyes and ears open.”

As Junmyeon spoke, the cool night air from the observatory window seemed to chill my bones. The stakes were higher than I had imagined, and the sense of urgency was palpable.

When the meeting concluded, Asia and I left the observatory, the weight of Junmyeon’s words hanging heavily in the air. The cool night breeze did little to ease the tension. I could sense the danger that loomed over us, a shadow of uncertainty that added to the already complicated situation.

Asia’s earlier warning about maintaining focus seemed even more relevant now. As we walked back to our quarters, the city of Stonehearth spread out below us, its lights twinkling in the distance. The path ahead was fraught with challenges, and the potential threat against Chanyeol only added to the precarious balance we needed to maintain.

"I need to leave for Silverhaven immediately," Asia announced as we found the comfort of our bedchambers.

I took a deep breath, "Why, I need you here at this time and hour."

"As Lady of Silverhaven, I must ensure that my domain remains loyal and secure. We can't afford any surprises."

I felt a pang of anxiety. "Be careful. We don't know who might be involved in this plot."

Asia flashed me a reassuring smile. "I'll take every precaution. And remember, stay vigilant."

With that, Asia prepared to leave, her departure adding another layer of urgency to the situation. As she gathered her things, I felt a lingering growing sense of unease.

The morning sun spilled its warm light over Ironhold, casting a gentle glow on the bustling city below. The air was filled with the soft murmur of early activity, a stark contrast to the tension that had characterized the past few days. As I stood at the gates of Ironhold, I felt a pang of sadness mixed with resolve. Today was the day Asia would leave for Eldoria, and I was determined to make sure she departed with all the support she needed.

Asia approached, her travel attire neatly pressed and her expression a mix of determination and nostalgia. She carried herself with the grace of someone who was both a noble and a warrior, her presence commanding respect and affection. Her dark hair, tied back into a practical braid, framed her face, highlighting the seriousness of the mission ahead.

"Namra," she said softly, embracing me in a tight hug. "This is a crucial time for us. I’ll gather as much intel as possible and rally our forces. We can’t afford to endanger Moonreach—it’s too important." Her voice was steady, but I could sense the weight of the task she was about to undertake.

I nodded, holding her close for a moment longer before stepping back. "I know you will," I said, trying to inject confidence into my voice despite the heaviness in my heart. "Your presence in Eldoria is vital. Lord Roderick and Lady Eveline will need your support, and I trust you’ll convince them of the urgency. Moonreach has been our home for the past five years, and it’s a part of us. We must ensure its safety."

Asia’s gaze softened as she looked at me, her eyes reflecting both affection and a shared sense of purpose. "I still remember the look on his face when he adopted us," she said with a wistful smile. "Lord Greenwell took us in when we were just lost souls, and he gave us a place to call home. We owe it to him—and to ourselves—to protect it."

The memory of Lord Greenwell’s kind eyes and the warmth of his embrace flashed in my mind. He had been a beacon of hope in our lives, offering us sanctuary and a new beginning. It was this very memory that fueled our determination to see Moonreach restored and safeguarded.

"We do," I agreed, my voice trembling slightly with emotion. "And we will. The future of Moonreach depends on us. We must ensure that the restoration is not just a physical rebuilding but also a symbol of hope for the kingdom."

As the carriage prepared for departure, Asia adjusted her cloak and gathered her belongings. Her resolve was evident in the set of her shoulders and the determined sparkle in her eyes.

"I’ll be in touch," she promised, giving me a reassuring nod. "Stay vigilant, and don’t let your guard down. The situation is delicate, and we can’t afford any missteps. Oh, and Namra, we keep our blades sharp."

With one last embrace and a final exchange of determined glances, Asia climbed into the carriage. The vehicle, drawn by sturdy horses, began to roll out of Ironhold, leaving a trail of dust in its wake. I watched it disappear down the road, feeling a mixture of pride and apprehension.

As the carriage vanished from view, I turned back towards Ironhold, steeling myself for the challenges ahead. Asia’s departure was a crucial step in our strategy, but it also marked the beginning of a new chapter in our fight to secure Moonreach and restore our home to its former glory.

Moonreach has been our home. It always has been. My thoughts drifted back to the moments right after my father’s death. I vividly remembered being taken by Ser Gareth to my sister for safety. Ser Gareth, now serving diligently as a Queensguard in Eldoria, had always been a pillar of strength. His commitment to his duty was unwavering, and I knew he continued to do his utmost best, improving with each day.

Despite the reassuring memories of Ser Gareth’s dedication, my mind kept circling back to that fateful evening months ago. The image of smoke swirling in the air, the roaring flames consuming everything in sight, and the blurred exit as I desperately sought escape were vivid and haunting. The destruction of Moonreach was a tragedy I could never fully erase from my mind.

“In the moon’s shadow, we stand strong.” Our house motto echoed in my thoughts, a constant reminder of our resilience. It was a mantra that had guided me through the darkest times. Standing strong wasn’t just about physical fortitude—it was about inner resolve and the determination to rebuild what had been lost.

The decision to return to Moonreach was not made lightly. It was a choice that required days of contemplation, a recognition of the urgent need to restore what was rightfully ours. As I packed my belongings, preparing for the journey back to Skybound, I felt a mixture of resolve and apprehension. Moonreach needed me, and it was my duty to ensure its revival.

Returning to Skybound would also provide me with the opportunity to set clear boundaries with Chanyeol. Our recent interactions had been fraught with tension, and I needed to establish a more defined separation between our personal and professional relationships. The complexity of our situation required a clear focus on the task at hand, without the added confusion of personal emotions.

As the carriage that would take Asia to Eldoria disappeared into the distance, I took a deep breath, steeling myself for the challenges ahead. Moonreach awaited, and the path to its restoration was fraught with obstacles. But with the motto of my house guiding me, I was determined to face whatever lay ahead and honor the legacy of those who had come before me.

[proudahgase-exol]

Shun hates y/n pt.10

Summary: Sehun confesses to y/n but she tells him she’s dating Baekhyun Sehun cry’s and try’s to avoid y/n she try’s to talk to him because he become her best friend but Sehun let’s his feelings get the best of him.

warning: cussing, heartbroken sheun

𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.1 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.2 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.3 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.4 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.5 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.6 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.7 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.8 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.9 - 𝔭𝔞𝔯𝔱.10

[exouniverse]

New WIP(?) - End Game

Pairing: Sehun x gn!reader

Genre: angst, non-idol au

Warnings: mild language, mentioned alcohol consumption, implied issues with communication patterns and jealousy, kind of open ended.

Summary: Sehun reached out after a painful breakup. Just a week had passed since he ended the relationship, and now he was trying to ask for another chance, or at the very least, for you to listen to him.

Word count: 1.6K+

I wrote a small fic… I know, I should be writing Tightrope, but I heard this song a couple of days ago and I couldn’t get the idea out of my head so I had to write something (take it as an angst warm up to what Tightrope would have). I would give it a couple of checks and upload it later or tomorrow.

But good news on Tightrope, I have it mapped out. I have the characters built up, plot lines, first chapter almost ready, advanced on the third one also because for the second one I have like an outline only.

[namj00m]

Exo Masterlist

All writings belong and were created by me. If you’re posting my work anywhere please be sure to either credit me or inform me that you are using my writings. Hope you enjoy!

MASTERLIST

✞ - Smut

❁ - Fluff

✄ - Angst

⚐ - One Shot

⚑ - Series

Kim Junmyeon ↳

coming soon!

Kim Minseok ↳

coming soon!

Byun Baekhyun ↳

coming soon!

Kim Jongdae ↳

coming soon!

Zhang Yixing ↳

coming soon!

Park Chanyeol ↳

coming soon!

Do Kyungsoo  ↳

coming soon!

Kim Jongin ↳

coming soon!

Oh Sehun ↳

coming soon!

[cyberexo]

[00:44]

He made it very clear from the start that none of the activities you indulged in together involved any romantic feelings- if that’s what you were looking for, walk away and do not speak of it, the relationship was strictly existing for the prime use of each other’s bodies (more so him using you other than the other way round) right when he was done, Sehun would just get up to clean up himself and leave, not another word exchanged between you. Of course it hurt, being the opposite sex automatically made you more longing and emotional but the way he made you feel was too good to let go of, discarding your want and right to a more humane relationship- it wasn’t worth risking losing him just so he could go find another one to screw without any strings attached. It hurt, but it hurt good- where’s my Sehun @ ?!

[eomayas]

exo masterlist

key: smut (s), suggestive (sg), fluff (f), angst (a), request (r), complete (c) [for series], popular(🌷), personal favorite (🌹)

EXO

— airport dads

— sugar daddy line

— exo when angry | r

— exo simping | sg 🌷

— jealous exo

— pda

— being shipped with another idol | r

kim minseok

— best friend | f

— in the morning | s, f, r 🌹

kim junmyeon

— sneakin’ | s, a

— nip slip | s 🌷

— testy | s 🌹

— handsome stranger | f

— strictly business | s, r 🌹

— yours | f, a, r

— wants & needs | s, f, r

byun baekhyun

— baby blues | f, a, r

— unplanned | a, r

— besos | f, r

— frisky | sg, r 🌹

— baby blues (vol. 2) | f, a, r

— soft side | f, r

— the bodyguard | f, a, r

— broken promises | a, r

— (computer) games | f, r

— cream soda | s, f, r 🌷

— all the rumors are true | f, a 🌷🌹

— closure | s, a

— fantasy | sg, a, f

kim jongdae

— coming soon

park chanyeol

— back 2 u | a, sg, r

— new thing (series) | s, f, a, c

— rainy day | s, r

— call me what you want, when you want, if you want | a, f, r

do kyungsoo

— make it up to you | s 🌹

— caught in the act | s, f 🌷🌹

— amore | f

— tender love | f, r

— ninety | a, f

— interruptions | f, sg 🌹

— swervin | s

kim jongin

— d appointment | s, f

— confessions | f, a (sequel to d appointment)

— friendly competition | f

— take a break | f, r

oh sehun

— 10:07 pm | s

— firsts | s, f, r

[citrustan]

Can you please do a rich seokjin x reader wherein he grovels for oc 🙏😭 Like he did not defend oc when his parents were being mean to her and even defended them something like that hahaha I live for angst fics so much ❤️❤️❤️❤️ (Thank you in advance btw! I really really enjoy your fics!)

hii thanks! love it when requests are specific!! please send in more of these :D

'm dividing this into two parts because it's too long for me to call it a drabble

please, please, please [1/2] (ksj)

pairing: seokjin x reader

genre: sugar daddy turned boyfriend!seokjin x middle-class, unemployed!reader ALSO dilf!seokjin. angst, fluff, and barely-there smut (in the next part) yet again because i'm taking tiny baby steps towards the big girl stuff.

warnings: there's an ex-wife, unkind parents, and typical rich people behaviour: take that as you may!

The evening had started on a high note.

The birds were chirping, the breeze was gentle. Yada yada. You centred yourself with your boyfriend's son, Sehun's, giggles, to distract slash calm yourself. At the same time, Seokjin's entire family and friends (and you) gathered under the warm glow of temporary lamps installed specifically for the occasion in his backyard.

Admittedly, it's borderline disrespectful to call it a backyard when it was easily over an acre of lush grassland, adorned with flower fields, and a horse farm. With champagne-equipped golf carts, decorated with wisterias and vines, used to transport the party goers from one place to another, and well-dressed staff to guide everyone. And you kept seeing the fairest doves. You wonder if that was natural or of they were introduced to the area for the party.

You knew your boyfriend slash sugar daddy was rich, but you had no idea just how rich.

As the evening progressed, the mood, specifically yours, began to shift---bit by bit, for the worse. Your once nervous yet lively aura had grown strained.

It was such a shit-show.

Starting with Seokjin's parents who couldn't pretend to be nice for the life of them, or was that intentional? Perhaps to scare you off or something. Because it worked.

They were distant, awkward, and nothing like Seokjin had described them to be. You were under the impression that you'd be meeting your second family, an extension of your own.

Boy, were you mistaken.

You were met with so much... inhospitality and indifference.

It was so bad you had to walk away from your table a few times just to stop your tears from falling and ruining your makeup.

They kept talking about Sehun's mother and Seokjin's perfect ex-wife, as if you weren't sitting right across them. Speaking of their relationship in present tense--- 'Oh, you're so beautiful together.' 'The perfect family.' 'She's the best daughter-in-law anyone could ask for.'

All the while, you're the one with a promise ring on your finger.

Seokjin, obviously, interrupted them everytime. But even he eventually tired himself out too.

Every time you attempted to make conversation with the pair, you were met with blank stares.

You couldn't even escape them because Sehun was off with his caretaker, being his 6 year old self, uncaring of where he is. You had nobody to go to except the man you were already seated next to.

"Seokjin," his mother began, "When you mentioned planning a soirée, I assumed you were getting back with Yewon."

His father added, "Your mother and I were so happy."

Were.

Seokjin exchanged an uneasy look with you.

You expected him to defend you. Maybe just give them a little scolding. Or a simple yet stern 'be normal.'

But instead, he just scoffs and laughs.

That was it.

Shakily sighing, you excused yourself for the seventh time that night to lick your wounds in privacy.

This time, when you didn't return after ten minutes, Seokjin comes looking for you, immediately finding you stood near his favourite Magnolia tree.

You looked like you were in deep thought and a little tipsy. And you were thinking up a storm. How was this going to play out? Would you be made to break up with each other? Would Seokjin leave you?

He paused to your right, "_____, I know this isn't enough but I really am sorry. I had no idea they'd react this way."

Defeated, you whisper, "I don't even know how to act. I mean... it doesn't matter because it's not like they'd even notice."

You add, "And you're right. It's not enough." Angry, you rapidly turn to face him, "You keep letting them treat me like I'm invisible. And they keep talking about Yewon and your, oh, so perfect marriage as if she didn't cheat on you. I mean, you technically cheated on each other later anyway, right?"

Seokjin's expression darkened. He tilted his head in disbelief, "_____. I can't believe you'd bring that up."

"Is that why they don't like me? Because they know I'm your mistress?"

Seokjin's scowl deepens, "Don't talk about yourself like that, _____."

Oh!

Mockingly raising your brow at him, you laugh, "Oh, but it's okay for mommy and daddy to talk about me 'like that'?" You make air quotations at 'like that.'

"Of course, it isn't! But, that's just how they are. They're horrible people, _____." He exasperates, "And I know there's no changing their mind. So do yourself a favour and just... don't bother about what they think or say. It's not important." He's breathing heavy when he finishes.

You painstakingly digest each of his words.

Now, there are two possible meanings of his advice.

Don't worry about mommy and daddy because you and I are the only ones who matter!

OR

Don't worry about mommy and daddy because you're disposable anyway!

But, you're not sober enough to decide yet.

Seokjin caresses your naked, cold, arm with a warm hand. His fingers travel up to your décolletage, grazing against it, then further upwards to gently fix the diamond necklace he bought you on your last birthday.

He then takes his blazer off to drape it over your shivering shoulders.

Seokjin looks at you, carefully choosing his tone to reflect his state of mind: apologetic, "I promise we can leave after Yewon gets here. My parents invited her too. And, she'll be taking Sehun to her place today."

You wait for him to continue because you know there's more.

"We'll greet her. Cordially. Bid goodbye immediately after. And see Sehun once before we head to your place. Is that... Would you be okay with that?"

The fact that Seokjin, as the host, was going to leave his own party for you makes you feel guilty. But you knew you would not be able to deal with Seokjin's relatives any longer.

So you nod once, "Ok."

He links your arms together and walks you back to the main event where they serve the good stuff. Yay for you!

*

"Seokie! You look great. _____, you too! Your hair looks amazing." Yewon grins at you.

"Thank you, Yewon. You look beautiful as well." Seokjin answers for the two of you as you drunkenly smile at her.

(Two) hours had passed since Seokjin promised you you could leave after Yewon arrived. Which meant you had two too many hours to down the seemingly bottomless Champagne flutes.

Yewon observes you with concern and raises a brow at your boyfriend. Seokjin simply nodded in response, with his arm still wrapped around you, supporting your weight.

Not oblivious to the silent conversation going on in front of you, you nuzzle your face directly into his chest.

Yewon is lovely. She's the best ex-wife any girlfriend could've asked for. Respectful, friendly even, and... normal.

Still, you've always been jealous of their relationship.

They still had chemistry, and were great co-parents.

There was nothing stopping Seokjin from going back to her. Well, there's you, but had you not been in his life, you wonder if they'd have gotten back together.

"There you are! Kim Yewon, my favourite daughter." Holding Yewon by her waist, Seokjin's mother feigns anger, "Now, why did it take you so long to get here?"

Was she 12? You hate her. So much. All you want is for Seokjin to make her... stop.

"In all honesty, I overslept." Yewon smiles, embarrassed.

Mrs. Kim sighs dramatically, "Well, you are a doctor. You deserve to rest. You work too hard."

"Ah, yes... Maybe... Why don't we go find Sehun? _____ and Seokjin are leaving soon." Yewon is evidently aware of how his family is reacting to you, and wants to minimize all of her interactions and words exchanged with the Kims.

At that Mrs. Kim looks at her son bewildered, "You're going to leave your own party? That's just rude."

THAT'S rude?

"I'm sorry, mom. We," Seokjin raises your clasped hands up, "have important plans."

"Well... What could be more important than family? You're just going to leave your son and his mother to fend for themselves?"

.

>:(

.

Hm.

Now... what happens in the next few minutes, you blame slash credit the alcohol.

You don't understand why he had to lie because you certainly had no issue with telling the real reason you were leaving.

"That's right, Mrs. Kim, Seokjin chose me. We don't have," you make air quotes when you say this, "important plans, we, my boyfriend and I, we, just want to get as far away from you as possible because you have a chip up your ass and you walk around with a stick on your shoulder."

Seokjin and Yewon froze.

"And Seokjin hates you." You spat. "He hates you so much he planned a gigantic party just so he wouldn't have to spend more than a few minutes with you at once."

You want to stop but your mouth works faster than your brain.

"Seokjin hates you so much he always needs other people around you to cut the tension."

At this point you were word vomiting.

"He hates you so much he keeps himself busy with work. And when he's not at work, he's with me. And my family," - "_____, stop talking," Seokjin sternly scolds.

But you don't hear him, "- because he loves me. And Sehun, and he loves my mother because she isn't a narcissistic bitch who treats her son like-" You stop.

Seokjin squeezes your hand as if he were begging you to shut the fuck up as Mrs. Kim stares at you in contempt; her face red, nose flared, jaw, and fists clenched.

But you don't budge, "His marriage is over. Understand that. It's like you don't even care about what he's been through."

"_____, please."

Seokjin's request has fallen to deaf ears once again.

You continue, "All you do is criticize his choices and decisions. You don't even care that Yewon cheated on your son because you're just as up her ass as you are up your own."

At that, Seokjin instantly drags you away from the two women. Both Mrs. Kims.

He takes you back to the tree.

You half expect him to make out with you because he looked... somewhat worked up.

The pins in your hair are starting to feel a little too tight and you feel sweaty even though it's freezing.

"What the fuck is the matter with you?"

You drunkenly stare at him, eyes widened in genuine confusion. You place a hand on your chest, "Me?"

"You had no right to cause a scene like that. I told you we were leaving. I was handling it."

But he was, in fact, not handling it. You helped him!

Seokjin needed someone to back him up. If he couldn't stand up for himself, you didn't expect him to stand up for you.

You owlishly blink up at him.

"_____, this isn't high school. You're not a child. You can't go around yelling at adults about how mean they are."

"I was just trying to hel-"

"This isn't a movie, _____. This is real life. My life. And Yewon's. My mother didn't know the real reason we broke up. And you had no right to tell her."

Now, that's news to you. And what the hell? Do you even exist in this picture?

"Well, obviously, I didn't fucking know that. And, thanks a lot. Now I know just how much I mean to you." You begin pulling your hair pins out as you turn to leave his premises.

"_____." Seokjin gently grabs your wrist, "We're not done here."

You rip yourself away from his grip, "I think we are! Obviously, you have no space for me in your life. And Yewon's!" Your lips quiver contrasting the accusatory words that just slipped through your tongue.

He rolls his eyes, "_____, that's not what I meant. You know that's not what I was saying."

You resembled an angry kitten with your hair a little wild from pulling all those clips out, and eyes red and puffy as if you'd start tearing up any time now.

"I don't want to be your fuckdoll anymore! I'm done!" With a shaky yet final sigh, you turn back around, lift your gown so you don't trip, and storm off.

While you didn't want him to stop you because you were in no mood to fight a grown man, you were more upset that he just let you walk away from him.

You didn't want to end your relationship like this. Although you know this isn't permanent, you can't help but wonder if he'd even try with you anymore.

note: so tumblr ate up part of this story and the other note i had added, so this is me rewriting it. i can't make asks private so here we are. i'm upset my writing didn't get saved. i don't know if this version is better or worse.

either way, please tell me what you think.

[loeyshandtattoo]

the lady of moonreach

FOURTH CHAPTER, The Battle for Moonreach

chapter summary: Namra slowly unveils the truth of Chanyeol's family and what brought him back to Iris, but when that seems to be the real problem, more problems soon arise on her doorstep while grappling her feelings for Chanyeol, now engaged to somebody else.

a/n: everything is piecing up together waaa

It was as if everything was staged to happen.

AS WE SAT AROUND THE WOODEN TABLE IN ONE OF THE CHAMBERS, the night continued to cripple, the room illuminated by the flickering candlelight casting dancing shadows on the stone walls. The weight of the conversation ahead seemed to press down on us, filling the room with a heavy silence.

I broke the silence first, my voice low but steady. "What else must we know of the assassination?" then leaned forward, eyes fixed on Baekhyun. “Tell me everything. I need to know the truth if we’re to move forward.”

Baekhyun replied, "The history of Iris has been marred by deception and betrayal, much of it hidden from the public eye.”

Junmyeon nodded, his usually calm demeanor replaced by a grave expression. “It all began with the assassination of the royal family. The official story was that a faction within Iris, loyal to an ancient prophecy, was responsible. But there are doubts about this narrative.”

Ancient prophecy?

He then added, "There were many stories concerning what happened that night in Ironhold. It was pointing to the loyalists of the usurper, and some who were against Chanyeol said that he himself killed them."

"That's where they are wrong, Chanyeol could not possibly have killed his very own family." I interrupted which made Junmyeon glance back right at me.

Baekhyun continued, “I don’t believe the loyalists were behind the assassination. They had their grievances, but killing the entire royal family doesn’t fit their pattern. There are other forces at play, ones we have yet to uncover.”

Namra’s heart pounded as she absorbed this revelation. “And Chanyeol? How did he survive?”

Junmyeon glanced at Baekhyun, who took a deep breath before answering. “Chanyeol was saved by my father. He foresaw the danger and acted swiftly. He took Chanyeol across the Aegina Sea to Polymos, where he owns a piece of land. There, Chanyeol lived in hiding until the time was right for his return.”

Namra’s mind raced with the implications of this information. “So, Chanyeol’s return was not just about reclaiming the throne. It was about confronting the very forces that sought to destroy Iris.”

Baekhyun nodded. “Exactly. And now, those same forces are regrouping, seeking to finish what they started. That’s why we need to be vigilant. The threat is far from over.”

A knock on the door interrupted their discussion. A messenger entered, his face pale and eyes wide with fear. He handed a sealed letter to Namra, who broke the wax seal and read the message silently.

Lady Namra,

The shadows of the north remember. The loyalists of the usurper king's return will bring only bloodshed and ruin to Moonreach. You have been warned. Leave now, or face the wrath of those loyal to the true crown.

For Iris.

This can't possibly be, they have their own wars, and that's not exactly what they have in mind, but it's not impossible. The ones she used to study in the library back in the orphanage, the memories prior to her adoption soon aligned. What do they exactly mean that everything they are doing is dedicated for Iris?

My hands trembled as I looked up at Baekhyun and Junmyeon. “The loyalists in the north have sent a threat. They’re closer than we thought.”

"We made sure to plan our arrival in Moonreach is discreet, the rest of Skybound had no idea at all. We planned meticulously for this, Junmyeon." I looked at him we an authoritative gaze. I tried to calm myself down because I know they want me to feel threatened.

"They are keen on keeping us distracted. I'll send word as soon as possible to Chanyeol." Junmyeon stood up from his seat as he prepared to send another scroll back to Stonehearth.

My jaw tightened. “Then we must act quickly. We need to prepare for whatever they’re planning.”

Baekhyun placed a reassuring hand on my shoulder. “We’ll face this together. Do I have your reinforcements prepared for battle?" I inquired. "Of course, my lady. The Verdentian soldiers are ready to rally to your cause."

"We don't only need your army. We also need the rest of the noble houses."

At the long table in the grand hall of Moonreach, the room filled with an uneasy energy. I took a deep breath, gaze sweeping across the assembly of nobles who had answered her call.

One by one, the other noble representatives entered the hall. House Blackthorne's representative, a burly man with a grizzled beard, took his place with a thud, his posture exuding strength. House Windrider’s representative, a slender woman with an air of calm authority, glided to her seat, her eyes reflecting the skies they controlled.

Namra nodded to each in turn as they took their seats. She could feel the weight of their support, yet also the immense responsibility resting on her shoulders. She stepped forward to address the assembled nobles.

"Welcome, esteemed allies," Namra began, her voice echoing through the hall. "We stand on the brink of a pivotal moment. The forces arrayed against us are formidable, but with your support, we have a chance to restore Moonreach and reclaim our land."

The room fell silent, every noble listening intently. Namra continued, "Our intelligence suggests that the loyalists’ remaining forces will attempt a decisive strike. We need to be prepared to counter this. I ask each of you to share your insights and resources, so we can plan our strategy together."

Baekhyun was the first to speak. "Our scouts have reported that the loyalists are gathering reinforcements from the northern territories. Some of which were from Frostpeak, as Icehaven has long been abandoned. The House Frostbourne ceased to exist after the invasion."

Junmyeon added, "Which would make sense that the northern loyalists are looking for refuge in Icehaven. We must fortify our defenses and strike swiftly to prevent them from joining forces."

Kai Blackthrone nodded in agreement. "I’ve analyzed their movements. They will likely attempt a siege, so our strategy should focus on defending key positions and launching counterattacks to disrupt their supply lines."

Lady Karina Windrider, the representative of House Windrider added, "Our house can provide additional troops and logistical support. But we need to address the issue of coordination between our forces to avoid confusion during the battle."

The discussion continued, with each noble house contributing their expertise and resources. Namra listened carefully, taking note of their suggestions and formulating a plan that would utilize their combined strengths.

"The first of the 2,000 men in my army will face them head-on in the River of the Undying," Baekhyun using the tip of his pointer to show the location, the river that separates the lands of Frostpeak and Skybound.

"Then, the rest of Blackthorne's men will be positioned here, most likely those fuckers are going to surround the castle that is beyond repair. The walls of Moonreach will lose its part of defending the people inside."

As the meeting progressed, I couldn’t help but feel a flicker of hope. Despite the challenges ahead, the unity and determination of these noble houses were a testament to the cause they shared.

When the discussion drew to a close, Namra stood, a sense of resolve in her eyes. "Thank you all for your invaluable support. We face a great challenge, but together, we will prevail. Let us prepare for the battle that lies ahead."

The nobles nodded in agreement, their expressions reflecting both the gravity of the situation and their unwavering commitment to the cause. I felt a renewed sense of purpose as she watched them depart, readying themselves for the trials to come.

"Make sure to return to Stonehearth before the battle. We can't compromise your safety here in Moonreach."

Junmyeon and I, once again, discussing things like how we used to do, and sometimes we think that is how we make most of our time and that we'd rather use it wisely. "Where will you be then?" He questioned.

"I'll be here defending my father's legacy that he entrusted me with." I replied cooly.

Then Junmyeon then decided to shift his focus on a different subject, far from which I expected it to be, "When Chanyeol sets his mind on something, it's final." He said.

I was trying to process on what he implied by that, and how it is of any significance in the matter, but I felt a pang of pain struck my chest, being reminded of his engagement. "Lady Irene will be so embarrassed if Chanyeol breaks off his engagement. We can't allow her any of that." I said, my voice faltering.

"But you were thinking it." Junmyeon interjected.

"You said it yourself, when he makes a decision that means it's final." I retorted and decided to return back to my chambers and gain some rest, the whole planning exhausted me yet so much.

As I entered the room, I stood at the edge of the balcony overlooking Moonreach, the evening sky painted with hues of twilight and the first stars beginning to twinkle. The cold breeze from the northern winds swept across my face, but barely felt it as my mind was preoccupied with tumultuous thoughts. I stared out at the expansive landscape, thoughts drifting back to the earlier meeting with the representatives of the noble houses.

Yet however, my mind kept drifting to him. The one that I shouldn't be concerning myself about. Him and his stupid engagement to some lady in Dawnspire.

I still remember the warmth in Chanyeol’s eyes the day we met, how they reflected his arrogant demeanor, but how his radiance calmed me down the moment he conversed with me, and that night before my departure, his pleas, the hitched breaths, the touch that burned my skin and remained imprinted on where he left them for days end.

The kiss that he placed on my lips so desperately, the tight grasp that he rested on my body, telling me to never leave by his side, and now his concern was really true.

But now, with the announcement of his engagement, everything felt uncertain. The image of Lady Ambers—elegant and poised, yet distant—had been etched in my mind. I couldn't help but compare myself to her. Lady Ambers seemed to embody everything that Chanyeol might desire in a queen: grace, power, and influence. Meanwhile, I was torn between my duty and my own feelings.

The timing didn't allow us, and yet it is something that I must still accept. She will be the queen, and I have to present myself to her, and not meeting them both would be inevitable.

With a deep breath, I made my way back inside, determined to keep focus on the imminent battle and the path ahead, even if my heart wrestled with the complex emotions tied to Chanyeol and the future of Iris.

I found myself at the heart of the courtyard, the beyond fixed courtyard. The banners of the noble houses hanging limp and the sky overcast. The air was heavy with tension, and a somber silence pervaded the scene.

The courtyard was filled with soldiers and nobles, their faces etched with concern and weariness. There was a palpable sense of unease as preparations were made, but the usual energy of anticipation was replaced with a somber resignation. I saw Kai from House Blackthorne and Karina from House Windrider, their expressions grim as they conferred with each other and reviewed maps scattered across a table.

Then an image flashed right in front of me, something I never wanted to see, the once-gleaming fields were now littered with debris and the remnants of broken weapons. The sky was dark, and the wind carried the distant sounds of clashing steel and the cries of wounded men as I stood in the towers of Moonreach, concealed for safety, hiding like a fool.

I was not raised to be like this. I felt that I was betraying my ownself.

The battle was fierce and chaotic. The allied forces, despite their best efforts, were struggling against a relentless enemy. The soldiers fought valiantly, but the enemy's numbers seemed overwhelming. In the midst of the battle, I saw the tragic scene unfold. The outer walls, once a symbol of strength, were now crumbling under the assault. Flames began to consume parts of the castle, casting an ominous glow over the battlefield.

Then I felt my heart drop to my stomach, the allied forces began to retreat, I tried to close my eyes as if all the tragedy right in front of me was merely temporary, but then another heartbreaking scene caused me on my knees. The view of Moonreach from a distance, showing the castle burning and the surrounding land scarred by the conflict. The hope of victory seemed distant and uncertain.

I tried to restrain myself to cry, it felt like as if I failed my father, when I find myself back in the courtyard. The once-bustling area was deserted, and the remnants of the battle lay scattered around. The banners of House Greenwell hung tattered and forlorn, and the silence was broken only by the distant cries of mourning.

I sat upright from my laying position, heart pounding and my mind reeling from the vivid, tragic vision. The dream had shown me the harsh reality of the battle to come—the sacrifices and the potential devastation. As I tried to shake off the haunting images, I knew I had to prepare herself and her allies for the challenges ahead. The dream served as a stark reminder of the stakes involved and the need for unwavering resolve in the face of impending tragedy.

Then I heard a knock outside my door, and as soon as I opened it, Junmyeon barged his way inside, "The northern loyalists are fast approaching, they're about to cross the river."

"Call Baekhyun, now!" I demanded as I put on my robe and hastened my way outside my chambers.

As part of the plan, we decided to send for the 2,000 Verdentian soldiers to the river where they'll meet the loyalists together with Baekhyun, to have them be stalled.

They won't cross that fucking river.

The gates of Moonreach soon opened, the noise of the horse that Baekhyun rode and I dashed my way downstairs and see him return from the battlefield. "Apparently, the loyalists counts to 10,000 men."

I sighed in frustration, we only had 5,000 men, and we believed that was enough against the loyalists, and now they have crossed that river. "Some of us were lucky to retreat."

"We only have half of the men, and we barely have enough time to rally the nearby houses to our cause." Junmyeon added.

I pinched the bridge of my nose and replied, "We fight with the men we have." This is how everything ends, all the things that I have worked hard for, dies in the hands of loyalist men. Asia gets to step up and continue the job.

The sun was setting behind the lush gardens of Moonreach, casting a soft, golden light over the vibrant flowers and well-tended paths. Namra, now twenty-one and newly adopted by Lord Greenwell, walked alongside him through the serene landscape. The tranquility of the moment felt like a gentle balm to her weary soul.

Lord Greenwell, a distinguished man in his fifties with a kind, thoughtful expression, led her to a small, secluded alcove where a wooden table was set with tea and delicate pastries. The garden's floral scent mingled with the warm, earthy aroma of the tea.

“I must say, Namra,” Lord Greenwell began, pouring tea into their cups, “this garden has always been my solace. I’ve never had children of my own, but I’ve found great joy in tending this place and watching it flourish.”

Namra took in the beauty around her, the peaceful setting a sharp contrast to her previous life. “It’s stunning here. I never imagined finding such calm.”

Lord Greenwell smiled gently, his eyes reflecting a deep sense of contentment. “It’s a special place. I’m glad to share it with you. You’ve brought a fresh light to Moonreach that it’s been missing for a long time.”

Namra’s heart warmed at his words. “I’m deeply grateful for your kindness, Lord Greenwell. This is a new beginning for me.”

As they sipped their tea, the conversation flowed easily. Lord Greenwell spoke of his love for the garden, his travels, and his hopes for Moonreach’s future. Namra listened, absorbing his wisdom and feeling a growing sense of belonging.

"House Greenwell sticks by its motto, in the moon's shadow, we stand strong. We are strong, Namra."

The moment was serene and intimate, and as they finished their tea, Lord Greenwell took her hand in his, his grip firm yet gentle. “Even if I have not had children of my own, I have considered you part of my family now. We are not strong by nature, but the honor that House Greenwell brings makes us stand strong."

"Stand strong, my daughter."

Namra’s eyes glistened with emotion, but she smiled brightly. “Thank you, Father. I will do my utmost to honor this home and the trust you’ve placed in me.”

As they walked back towards the grand house, the sky was painted with hues of orange and pink. The day had ended on a perfect note, and Namra felt a renewed sense of hope and contentment, a new chapter of her life beginning with this unexpected kindness.

Stand strong, and she is going to stay true to it.

The air was thick with tension as the forces gathered outside Moonreach. The once-majestic castle stood as a symbol of both hope and desperation. Its grand towers and sturdy walls, though scarred, still bore witness to the glory of House Greenwell. However, the impending battle cast a long shadow over the estate.

I stood beside Baekhyun and Karina as we surveyed the battlefield from a high vantage point. The allied forces, a mix of troops from Verdantia, Dawnspire, and Skybound, assembled in a tight formation. The banners of each house fluttered, but their vibrant colors seemed muted by the somber reality of the situation. The sky was overcast, adding a grim atmosphere to the preparations.

Bringing along my horse at the middle as I glanced around at my surroundings, still maintaining some distance. The rest of the 10,000 men waited beyond the field leaving a massive space enough to be the site of bloodshed. The leader of the loyalists, wearing a piece of cloth to mask his identity. "Lady Namra, let's not make the situation complicated and difficult as it is."

"We are here to negotiate." He proposed as he sat comfortably on his steed.

"Negotiate when you had brought 10,000 of your men, the letter you sent right at my doorstep with your threats don't fool me. Say what." I trailed off. "Bring me your finest warrior to me have him removed from his horse and let me see him, and let me be the judge if dying from the wield of his shield will be all worth it."

As a soldier stepped forward, he then walked to me, "Before we start killing each other off, I ought to do some pre-battle routine, just to help me calm down." I said as I held my bow and arrow.

"The fuck you're toying us!" The leader suddenly raised his voice.

"Shh, quiet." I shushed him to stop him, and then enticed the soldier. "You'll be rewarded for being still, as long as you comply to my wishes."

Then I looked at the warrior straight in the eye, "I can even tell you where the rest of the Verdantia soldiers that killed some of your friends are positioned." I proposed. Which made the warrior quirk his brow.

"Why would you do that?" He inquired, remaining composed despite the situation.

"It is because I can." I replied sternly.

"To your right, you can see that forest enveloped with trees, the area is called Moonlight Woods, behind those tall damn trees, are the rest of the Verdantia bastards that killed your friends." I peered my eyes to the right.

The warrior snarled right at me, "You whore, you're lying!"

"Oh I am not, I am the one that planned all of this, remember? I'll even let you run back to your leader so you can tell him everything, about how the Verdantian soldiers are to your right masked by the trees, how the rest of the reinforcements of House Blackthorne are to delay their attacks so that they may surround you, and that is more than half of the plan that we discussed." Then the warrior then attempted to run as fast as he can.

"Run, you fucker." I whispered and then knocked directly at him. A bow roulette makes it exciting.

The first shot almost landed right at his feet. Oops.

He was almost near the army, and then a groan was elicited from the warrior as the bow pierced the back of his head, and the other end escaped from his mouth.

The sun rose when the enemy forces, a formidable coalition led by Kai Blackthorne and reinforced by mercenaries, appeared on the horizon. Their approach was heralded by the ominous sound of war horns and the clattering of armor. The allied forces braced themselves, readying their defenses as the enemy advanced with grim resolve.

I witnessed the wielding swords, just like how I also envisioned this in my dream the other night. The forefront immediately weakened, and right then everything was starting to align, though I refused to believe that it would happen this way. I would not give up my father's legacy to a bunch of rebels.

Brought by the surge of strength that I felt creeped in my veins. The initial clash was intense. Archers from both sides loosed volleys of arrows, and the ground became a chaotic melee of steel and flesh. The battlelines surged and receded, with soldiers fighting fiercely amidst the din of clashing weapons and the cries of the wounded.

Then I knew that I must act on what I believe is right, unlike that night, in my dreams, I was useless and of no use amidst the battlefield. I wielded my sword, as the blood of an assassin coursed through my veins, and fought alongside Baekhyun and Karina, their movements synchronized as we defended a crucial position near the castle gates. The defense was holding for a time, but the enemy's relentless assault began to wear us down. The once-sturdy gates of Moonreach showed signs of strain as battering rams and siege weapons hammered away at us.

As the enemy pressed harder, the defensive lines started to falter. The allied forces were pushed back, our formation breaking under the relentless pressure. Our group, despite their valor, found themselves forced to retreat to more defensible positions within the castle grounds.

We were about to die at the hands of loyalists, my father who dearly loved me, and for that I would also die within the castle that grew on me.

We continued swaying our own swords against the enemies, in desperate measure to slay the opponents doing the same. The yelp of every wounded soldier continued to echo in my mind, Baekhyun, whom have sworn loyalty to our house then being surrounded by the men from the opposing side, and Karina, still fighting for her life as she continued to fight alongside us.

Then I heard a rumble of the ground, the sound continued and grew louder, the tremors increasing in vibration.

The shaking of the ground that can be felt also took the others from their reverie and some still pursued fighting, and stopped when there were an approaching army.

An army carrying their own banner designed with their own house sigil, and what caught me off guard is that there were three banners lined up. The house with the sea as their house sigil. Another one painted in yellow and with the rising sun as their symbol and of course the house with the crown as their symbol.

House Actaeon. Chanyeol's house accompanied by House Silverhades and Ambers.

The increase in the reinforcements had us breathe there for a moment, and as the soldiers from each of the house laid an attack by surrounding the men that weakened the forces.

Chanyeol, at the forefront of the battle, fought with unwavering bravery. He led charges to rally his troops and attempted to stem the tide of the enemy’s advance. His leadership was inspiring, but the enemy's numbers and the ferocity of their assault began to take a toll on his forces.

The castle walls, once a bastion of strength, began to crumble under the siege. Flames erupted as enemy forces breached key points, setting parts of Moonreach ablaze. The sky darkened with smoke, and the air was thick with the acrid scent of burning wood and battle.

All our efforts for the restoration of Moonreach lost its hope, as I watched my own estate surrender to the flames. I looked to my right and saw Asia and of course, Lady Irene Ambers.

As the battle reached its climax, the castle’s defenses were overwhelmed. The enemy forces failed to break in through the final barricades, flooding into the castle grounds as it was stopped by the reinforcements that came along with Chanyeol. Our troops, though brave, were outnumbered and exhausted. The battle became a desperate struggle for survival, we almost struggled to grasp into our last bit of hope, and all worries ceased when the armies of Dawnspire and Silverhaven, and the men of House Actaeon came to our help.

The battle ended with Moonreach being safe under the control of House Greenwell. The surrounding land was scarred by the conflict, and the casualties on both sides were significant. The survivors, weary and grieving, began to tend to the wounded and assess the damage.

As I made my patrol around the castle grounds for inspection, the entirety of Moonreach almost destroyed once again due to the battle, but still it didn't fall into the wrong hands. As I strolled around, far from my sight, I already have beheld a tall figure, though difficult to make out and distinguish, but is walking closer and closer until I was finally able to describe the man before me, and that was none other than the savior himself.

Chanyeol. The king of Iris and the guardian of the walls. The savior of Moonreach.

"You must be enamored with your lady, Your Grace," I commented. He scoffed and stood poorly still.

"You defy me yet again, Lady Greenwell." He replied. Our bodies nearly crashing against each other once more, the act taking me back to the time in that incident in the library back in Ironhold. The heat that radiated each from our bodies still burns my core.

"She came to my aid once I received word." He explained and tried looking at me as a justification of his knightly work done.

"And for that I am grateful, my king." I immediately replied once I tried to step away to give distance from our bodies to prevent it from clashing against each other, however the attempt was futile when suddenly he took hold of my arm and yanked it towards his. "After everything, I still see to it that your safety is secured. Pack your belongings, and see to it that on our journey back to Ironhold, we will be having you brought along as well." He mumbled against my lips, every breath radiating off heat and I sighed.

"I don't want to be a distraction, Your Grace, as you prepare for the Royal wedding. I also belong here in Moonreach, where my people need me, and I'll send my regards to you and the queen-to-be right after the wedding." I refused his offer.

I only have one purpose, and every step I make in this island I am always being reminded of who and what purpose I serve.

Right after that he stubbornly continued following me, "Why must you refuse me so?" he questioned. "Namra." He desperately called my name and I still continued walking away.

"I can't continue living in a lie!" He screamed at me. All his feelings poured out as he still tried to get my attention.

"I hate you so much." He added. I get it, Chanyeol. We have loathed each other since, and yet that didn't stop us from getting off of each other.

"You fucking occupy my thoughts, and I don't want anyone else beside me than you, who you loathe me to the core. I would rather have you among all the women in the world." I scoffed.

"You can have any woman, but you choose to love someone that hates you?" I mocked his feelings.

"Are you that stupid to realize that I love you, and I want to marry you." He mumbled a plea.

I turned back and decided to face him sniffling back my sobs so that I won't appear as if I was also feeling the same thing. "I can never be a queen, Chanyeol."

"That is why the perfect and the endearing Lady Ambers is the woman that is right for you." I convinced him otherwise.

He refused, "No. I broke off the engagement with her." Then I shook my head, "Do it for the kingdom, do it to fortify the kingdom, there are more people ready to take what you have rightfully have." I warned him as he was trying to speak, but continued interjecting my thoughts.

"The loyalists reside within the king's council, you must be vigilant. Junmyeon knows. I'll stay here in Moonreach, and I wish you the best of luck in your life." Then I ran off, never to be found and followed. Just in time for them to leave tomorrow morning for Ironhold.

The world began to blur, shifting from the familiar surroundings of Ironhold to a place I hadn't seen in years. A place that I know all too well.

There, in the center of the grounds, stood a familiar figure. His presence was as commanding as ever, his sharp eyes catching sight of me immediately. He smiled, that same charming smile that had first won her over all those years ago.

"Namra," he called out, his voice carrying a warmth that sent shivers down my spine. "What if I tell you who started the fire?"

"The fire that destroyed your home."

He chuckled evilly, reaching out to take her hand.

Confusion clouded her mind. "What do you mean?"

"You are one step near to the answer, my love." He called. The endearment sent a chill down her body as she feared for her life.

"I have always liked you for being the smartest one out there, and that is why I chose you."

I replied cunningly, "Don't beat around the bush, and tell me now this instant."

He laughed and mocked her mood, "I did it, of course. The loyalist were easy to talk with. That was the only way to make you close to him, and I thought it would speed up the course of events, but I was wrong."

"Then why the fuck won't you just tell me instead?" I screamed.

He continued to laugh, "I still enjoy watching you all go miserable, you used to be so easy around me back in the days, what made you so soft? Moonreach really does have its magic as said in the books."

"That damn prophecy can't go ahead. It would mean an end to us all."

"Moonreach has a rich history from I recall. Something also related to the assassination of the family of your king, the fucker you love all along, and that is enough proof, and you are done."

"Done with what?" I inquired. A question still left hanging in my head, but I knew what to do.

[proudahgase-exol]

𝘠𝘰𝘶 𝘥𝘪𝘥𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘢𝘯𝘨 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘱𝘩𝘰𝘯𝘦......

Sehun x reader (angst 🤷🏻‍♀️)

Summary: you had called Sehun since it have been two weeks since you last saw him when the phone call ended something happens that Sehun didn’t notice.

Warning: mention of cheating, cussing

I had been missing my boyfriend of 2 years it has been two weeks since I last saw him or talked to him, I wanted to check on him since he’s been working hard on his new comeback I was a bit worried that he was overworking himself so I called him.

“Hey baby are you busy,” I asked him when he finally picked up

“ hey Bebe I’m a bit busy but what’s up are you okay?” He asked with some worry his voice

“I’m okay just wanted to check if you were doing alright,” I told him happy that I could hear his voice

“ I’m okay…. Ummm I have to go now I’ll talk to you later okay bye” Sehun said as he hung up….. or so I thought

I was about to hang up when I heard a woman’s voice I just had to hear what was going on and then I heard something that broke my heart and made me pissed off

“Who was that baby,” the woman said in a seductive voice

“No one important shall be continued what we were rudely interrupted,” Sehun said in the same tone

“Mmmh yes please hurry before you had to go back with your boring girlfriend,” she said laughing

“It’s okay I got all night she thinks I’m busy at the studio. I love having this naughty encounters with you and to be honest I love you more than her” Sehun said as he kissed her

“Why don’t you just brake up with her then?” She asked him

“It’s complicated but let’s not talk bout her,” he said once again

I had enough and I hung up and I throw my phone on the wall and I begin crying. I feel so hurt so hopeless the man I trusted the man I love was cheating on me and for god knows how long it made me feel like shit. I wanted to see how long it took Sehun to confess and for the mean time I was gonna play his game.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

It haves been 3 months since the phone incident and Sehun has yet to confess. I was getting so feed up because I started to notice his guilt he did come home after being with here and would shower me with compliments or he did gift me stuff really expensive stuff. He was also running out of ideas to make up excuses so that he could go see her it was until 4 days ago were I heard him on the phone with her and he ended things by saying that he so “loved me” and relies on he was making a mistake. I just ignored him and left the apartment I need to be away from him and so I went to talk to some who I saw like my big brother who happened to be sehuns group leader.

“Junmyeon I don’t know what to do anymore, I loved Sehun and he does this he now feels bad what did I ever do to get him to cheat on me I’m a bad girlfriend??” I asked junmyeon in tears

“Hey don’t blame yourself it’s not your fault. I can’t believe Sehun will go so down i thought was a decent man” junmyeon said pissed

“I thought he loved me I thought he meant when he said he was gonna marry me,” I said taking a sip of the water Junmyeon give me

“Hey, how about you stay the night here in the guest room and tomorrow you can think about what you want to do?” He asked me as he rubbed my back

“ yeah I need some rest and time to think about what I should do,” I said getting up

I got up from the couch and made my way to the guest room and once I closed the door I broke down crying I was so sad so heartbroken so betrayed I couldn’t believe my Sehun would do that he promised me he wouldn’t do anything that hurt me he promised to be faithful and if he lost for he would tell me but never cheat now that I think about it I can’t help but feel like his promises were empty without meaning.

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

The next day I woke up and got ready to go to work I had a small breakfast with Junmyeon and left for your I try to not think about Sehun.

I was walking down the street when I chef my phone and saw multiple missed calls, voicemails, and messages from Sehun asking where I went if I was okay if I was mad at him and of course, I didn’t answer him.

After work, I walk back to my shared apartment with Sehun and when I get there he was waiting for me at the door asking where I went and other questions I just ignored him and went to take a shower since I was still wearing the same clothes since yesterday.

When I got off the bathroom and got changed Sehun sat down on the bed and asked me a million questions.

“Baby where did you want last night?” He asked wired

“Out,” I said coldly

“I know that but where did you spend the night? We’re you somewhere safe” he asked once again

“I went to a friend's house,” I said not looking at him

“Baby girl, why are you being so distant is everything okay? Princess please look at me” he said trying to get my attention

“Baby please answer me,” he asked again and I got fed up

“ stop Sehun fucking stop why are you so pathetic?? You act so innocent like you had nothing to hide fucking stop you can’t fool me” I said angry

“Baby, what are you talking about? I’m not understanding we’re your trying to get up but baby girl please calm down and talk to me” he said trying to touch me

“Stop why are you playing have you forgotten that you fucked another bitch?? Sehun I’m fucking tired of your stupid lies” I said even more pissed

“ what are you talking about? I don’t understand” he asked me with a pale expression

“Remember the time we’re you called me and said you were busy at the studio??? Well let tell you baby boy smooch king happens that you didn’t even notice” I said and I looked at him with tears in my face

“ the night you called me you didn’t hang up the phone and I heard how you told some that you loved her and that you love having naughty encounters with her.” I told him and his face went even prettier and red

“When are you with her do you also call her baby girl?” I asked pointing at his chest

“Baby it was a mistake I didn’t know what I was doing,” he said slowly

“Bitch please a mistake doesn’t take 3 months or more to realize what you had done a mistake is forging to do the dishes what you did wasn’t a mistake.” I said pushing him as i splayed his chest

“Baby please I’m sorry I don’t know why I did it I didn’t even like her I only love you,” he said crying

“Too fucking late. you thought I wasn’t gonna find out?? Remember when you feel regretful you would come home and kiss me all over my face or you woo gift me expensive shit?? Do you remember?? Did you think that some useless gift will make me forgive you??” I asked yelling

“No I knew you won’t forgive me and I know I will lose you but baby you have to know that I only love you I only need you there’s no other woman for me.” He said sobbing

“How about you go with your bitch she sounded less boring,” I said pushing past him to my closet

“I’ll pack whatever I can then I’ll send some for the rest and please don’t try to beg me to stay or to forgive you because I won’t. I hate you and I hope you don’t forget that” I sad as i got some suitcases out

After I was done packing everything I could I made my way to the door I turned around and looked Sehun dead in the eyes and told him

“Hopefully you never do this again and I wish good luck to the future girl that dates you oh and also tell your mom that I will miss her,” I told him then I turn around and walk out of the apartment

☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆.。.:*・°☆

When I left the apartment I went to a hotel and stayed there for a few days then I went to stay with a close friend. I was still hurt from what happened but I was moving on slowly trying to not think of Sehun.

A few days later I got a phone call from Junmyeon asking if I was alright I might have ended my relationship with Sehun but his friends were also mien and I couldn’t just push them out of my life because Sehun and I broke up.

I hung out with some of the boys here and there they were nice and never made me feel like they were choosing sides between Sehun and me, they didn’t talk about him at all and I appreciate that.

One day I run into Sehun at a club and he of course tried to talk to me.

“Hey y/n it’s been a while how are you,” he asked

“Hello, Sehun what do you want?” I asked in a somewhat awkward voice

“I- can you take me back give me one last chance.” He begged me

“Sehun I told you that I wasn’t giving you any more chances you broke my trust so stop trying,” I told him annoyed

“I’m nothing without you I need you in my life,” he said crying

“Sehun you lost me the moment you meet up with her you brought this to yourself it's your problem if your miserable I won’t take you back no matter how much you beg me,” I told him

“I- I fucked it up so bad and now because of some “heat of the moment” I lost you I can’t blame you for hating me” he replied with a sob

“Sehun stop calling me you're just making this worst I need to move on and so do you but if you keep this up you won’t find someone else,” I said to feed up

“I don’t want nobody else but you I can’t love anyone like I love you,” he said

“You don’t love me what kind of boyfriend cheats for god knows how long and say they still love their partner you don’t know what you want so stop pretending,” I told him annoyed

“I love you I regret ever fucking another woman I’m sorry please I’m sorry,” he said holding my hand

“Dude stop I don’t trust you anymore you cheated you waisted my time you made me feel unwanted like I wasn’t good enough I thought you wanted someone better-looking somebody that wasn’t boring you made me question myself you made me feel like shit and I hate you for that,” I said pulling my hand from him and walk away

I walked away from him I left him crying as he did to me so many times before but it was for my own good I can’t be with him no after what he did, now all I want is to move on and start from zero I know I will struggle to trust another man but I know that someday I will find someone that will love me and that I will trust but for now I just need to work on myself and move on as much as it hurts me but this chapter of my life had to end in order to start fresh.

Okay so this was originally for Kai but for some reason, I thought it fits Sehun better. Sorry if it’s trash I Ben trying my best to improve my writing if you have comments or suggestions I will appreciate them I hope you enjoy it 🥰

[yerimacoustic]

𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙞 𝙡𝙤𝙤𝙠 𝙖𝙩 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ♡ 𝙨𝙚𝙪𝙣𝙜𝙠𝙬𝙖𝙣 𝙭 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧

❝ 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙬𝙝𝙚𝙣 𝙬𝙚'𝙧��� 𝙖𝙥𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙞’𝙢 𝙢𝙞𝙨𝙨𝙞𝙣𝙜 𝙮𝙤𝙪, 𝙞 𝙘𝙡𝙤𝙨𝙚 𝙢𝙮 𝙚𝙮𝙚𝙨 𝙖𝙣𝙙 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙄 𝙨𝙚𝙚 𝙞𝙨 𝙮𝙤𝙪 ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

summary : after impulsively quitting your job and moving back to your hometown, you reconnect with a childhood friend of yours and rekindle your relationship. you even take the opportunity to get closer to your former crush upon realizing he actually does know you exist. however, you realize that you might be in over your own head when faced with complications involving family, responsibilities, and love.

content warnings : librarian!boo seungkwan x gender neutral reader, college professor!oh sehun x gender neutral reader, EXTREMELY slow burn, implied love triangle, childhood friends to (eventual) lovers, swearing, stress and angst, banter, very very brief mention of implied death, not proofread. 11.6k wc. mostly inspired by kdrama : love next door, it’s the ‘it’s always been you’ trope you guyssss

soundtrack : those eyes by new west, scott street by phoebe bridgers, ceilings by lizzy mcalpine, i hear a symphony by cody fry, the loneliest time by carlie rae jepsen, always been you by chris grey (will add more)

additional notes : this is going to be a multiple part series! i’m talking about EXTREMELY slow burn. don’t mind me adding sehun into the mix, i am a big fan of his lately.

it felt like nothing had changed. the pavement on the sidewalks was still loose, the grass near the empty fields was still much too tall.. everything was still so close. that was, of course, the main reason why you instructed your uber driver to drop you off at the coffee shop near your house. heaven knew you needed the extra ten minutes to clear your mind with the help of some fresh air, anyways.

you didn’t see yourself coming back home, not for a while at least. the plan had always been simple: graduate college, get a well-paying job, get married, start a family.. well, at least, your parents had always found it to be simple. you made it to step two, which you were able to give yourself at least some credit for.. unfortunately that was short lived, considering that one day at lunch with your boss, you made an impulsive decision to quit your job. 

you stopped in place at a familiar crack in the pavement, one that you remembered tripping over and promptly falling off your bike several times in your youth. how in the world were you supposed to face your mother and father? how were you supposed to summon the courage to tell them that you were currently unemployed and had no current plans for the future? that you were too burned out and exhausted to even begin looking for a new job?

maybe a nice cup of coffee would provide all the answers… except they were closed. shit.

the only thing left to do, obviously, was to procrastinate going home as much as possible. which, of course, meant exploring the street you knew like the back of your hand. the benches near the coffee shop looked exactly the same, the tiny post office, the library.. wait.

the library!

luckily, they stuck to the same schedule implemented from the time you were working there, which meant you had less than thirty minutes to step inside. as you swung the door open, the loud bell announced your arrival- not that it startled you. you’d grown numb to the loud clanging sound, almost as if you had been conditioned. once inside, you were greeted by the nostalgic smell of parchment and cinnamon, comfortable silence and dimmed lighting. there were two other patrons in there that you knew of, who were quietly huddled in the corner reading separate books. 

stepping up to the front desk, you looked around the calming, tranquil space with a content grin. much like everything else in town, the library had stayed exactly the same. there were still paintings of landscapes and skylines scattered along the walls, a fireplace in the back area, comfortable bean bags and rugs… and..

“seungkwan?” you whispered, your eyes going wide.

the young man in question was pushing a cart of books with his back towards you and had already begun to carefully set them down on the nearest shelf before he heard someone speaking behind him. the last person he expected to see standing behind his counter was you. as far as seungkwan knew, you had no plans of returning home. 

his eyes went wide as he turned back, lips forming a perfect ‘o’ shape. he did his best to keep his voice down as he saw you and stood frozen in place for a moment, dumbfounded. “y/n??”

you smiled sheepishly upon taking note of your childhood friend's reaction. it was truly one for the books, but you still couldn’t hold back from teasing him, whispering, “well are you just gonna stand there or…?”

“ugh, fine. get over here.” seungkwan let out a mocking huff of annoyance before carefully setting the last book down on the cart and rushing to you. he flung his arms around your waist and pulled you in for a tight hug, one that seemed to convey all the sentiments that had been lost to you for four years now. all of the tight hugs, the words of affirmation, the quality time spent after school and work.. 

he finally spoke up again, making no effort to keep his voice lowered down. “what are you doing here? how long are you in town?”

you chuckled awkwardly, waiting for just a moment longer to break out of his embrace. “um..indefinitely?”

seungkwan’s eyes narrowed. “whoa.. i didn’t think those big shots in the city would let you take an indefinite hiatus...”

“oh.. yeah, what can i say? they love me over there.” you mocked a hair flip for dramatic effect, earning a scoff from seungkwan. 

“well hopefully your work ethic’s better now than when you were working here with me.” he rolled his eyes while reminiscing several shifts gone wrong in your time together at the library. they still blew his mind several years later; how difficult could it be to work in a building full of books?

you furrowed your eyebrows. “what are you talking about? i was your favorite coworker.”

“nuh uh, you were my only coworker. big difference.” seungkwan waved a finger to you with a growing smirk, his eyes still narrowed. 

you swatted his shoulder. you would never admit out loud that you definitely were not the best employee, that you would rather spend the day reading or distracting seungkwan as much as you could than get any actual work done. still, you hoped that at the very least, seungkwan enjoyed his time with you. “come on. you know i made things more entertaining around here.” 

your best friend let out a prolonged sigh as he made a dramatic show of pulling off his striped apron and folding it over the front desk. “i guess.” he paused, rolling up the sleeves of his large sweater to his elbows before folding his arms. “have you been home yet?”

your heart skipped a beat at the sudden confrontation. “well.. not exactly. my plane just landed.”

“really? i’m surprised that your folks didn’t come pick you up from the airport..” he shook his head, a grin of amusement slowly starting to surface. seungkwan seemed to have been gifted with intuition after years of being your closest friend; judging by your body language, alone, he could tell that something wasn’t quite right.

“about that,” your tone suddenly grew hushed as you rubbed the back of your neck. “i didn’t exactly tell them i’m coming home.”

“hmm?” seungkwan furrowed his eyebrows. “why wouldn’t you tell them something like that?”

you parted your lips before the proper excuse could come to mind. but.. neither of their birthdays were coming up. it wasn’t a holiday. and you definitely had nothing exciting to share with them in person. you barely made a sound before the loud bell across the room announced someone else’s arrival. your heads snapped towards the doorway, your own eyes going wide at the revelation..

“hey sehun,” seungkwan greeted halfheartedly, as if it was customary for the other man to show up fifteen minutes before closing. he moved to stand behind the counter while you stayed frozen in place, watching the taller man make his way to the two of you. 

sehun was exactly how you remembered him too. tall, stoic, smartly dressed.. classically handsome. in the four years you’d been gone, you hadn’t forgotten about the infatuation you had developed with him in college. not completely, at least. he carried a large pile of books in his arms, which he set down carefully on the counter in front of him. “hey, thanks for helping me out. you’re a lifesaver.” 

“no problem.” seungkwan went to work immediately, starting to log the books sehun had borrowed into the ancient computer resting on the counter. he glanced to you before explaining, “sehun got that teaching degree. he comes in here every so often to borrow some extra books they don’t have on campus.”

just as you nodded in understanding, sehun looked over his shoulder to see you already staring at him. his eyes went wide as he wore a deeply apologetic expression, “oh! hey..y/n. it’s y/n, right?”

“yeah, yeah, that’s right,” you chuckled.

“it's good to see you,” he grinned modestly, turning his back on seungkwan in favor of facing you fully. “i haven’t seen you in a while, where have you been?”

“i relocated for work after graduating but..i’m back here now.” you punctuated your statement by shrugging halfheartedly, chuckling under your breath. to tell the truth, you were surprised sehun had even noticed you were missing; he never paid much attention to you in school. it wasn’t like you were nonexistent, but more like he always had something else on his mind. 

“indefinitely,” seungkwan chimed in, much to your annoyance. 

sehun raised an eyebrow. “indefinitely?”

you felt as if the two of them had backed you in a corner. it was difficult to ignore seungkwan as he leaned over the counter with his chin resting in the palm of his hand, an amused grin bringing you to clench your jaw. “well..”

“and she didn’t even tell her parents,” seungkwan whispered, as if the three of you were in a gossip session. he smirked to you, knowing fully well that you would have lunged for him if sehun wasn’t in the room. 

“i’m sure they’ll be excited to see you visiting them. indefinitely.” sehun, of course, was oblivious to seungkwan’s antics. he kept his back turned on him as he focused on you, waiting almost too patiently for you to explain your motives. 

just before you could mutter a ‘thank you’ to him, seungkwan cut you off once again, “by the way, when you say indefinitely, what exactly do you mean?”

in that moment, you crafted a plot in your mind to jump over the counter the minute sehun would close the door behind him. seungkwan had always known of your interest in sehun, so.. you could give him the benefit of the doubt and excuse his actions by saying he had good intentions. but there was something deep inside you nagging and arguing that he was only trying to embarrass you.

“well..” you muttered, prompting seungkwan to lean in comically close over the counter. unfortunately, whether you liked it or not, you came to the realization that your close friends and family would eventually find out the truth.. so it was better to bite the bullet. “forever?”

“forever??” seungkwan asked incredulously. 

in that moment you had completely abandoned all intentions of giving your best friend the benefit of the doubt and instead wondered if seungkwan truly would stop at nothing to humiliate you. the look of intrigue donned by sehun almost caused your heart to stop beating in your chest completely. “forever,” you repeated quietly.

and although sehun showed no signs of disgust or disapproval, you wondered what he truly thought of you. he must have thought so lowly of you, unemployed and forced to move back in with your parents with no prospects or plans of any sort... as much as you would have liked to tell yourself you were most likely overthinking the tension rising between the three of you, it was part of your nature to assume the worst.

sehun’s expression of intrigue was quickly replaced by one of reserved shock; he wasn’t sure how to respond. he wanted to handle the situation (if one could even call it a ‘situation’) with delicacy without seeming like he was tiptoeing around it. it was quite the contrast from seungkwan’s reaction; your best friend looked like he would soon pass out due to the color draining from his face. seungkwan, who was visible just behind sehun’s shoulder, slapped a hand over his mouth to muffle his gasp. 

of course. he always had a flair for the dramatics.

sehun cleared his throat, as if to defuse the tension in the space between the three of you. the air had felt much more constricting until he snapped you out of your shame induced gaze. “thanks again, seungkwan. same time tomorrow?”

“maybe a few more minutes before closing.” seungkwan was quick to smile enthusiastically, with authenticity rather than cruel irony, towards the other man. he even went so far as to punctuate his statement with an amused chuckle. 

“right, sorry,” sehun nodded apologetically. he knew he had a bad habit of bothering seungkwan, who was generous enough to help him even in the most inconvenient times, but there was no use trying to adjust his schedule to his own liking. he looked to you just as he turned towards the exit, a smile barely reaching his eyes. “see you around.” 

somehow, you weren’t hyperfocused on the fact that he seemed to disappear before you could gift him a proper goodbye. once the loud bell signaled his absence, you reached across the front counter to swat at seungkwan’s shoulder. a high pitched shriek flew from his lips, but it didn’t startle you enough to back away from him. “what was that for?” he demanded with a pout.

“you know damn well! he probably thinks i’m some deadbeat now.” 

“why, because you got fired?” seungkwan regretted his teasing remark the second he saw you wind back your hand to swat his untouched shoulder, his hands flying to shield his face. “wait! wait, stop! truce! truce!” the sigh of relief he let out once you finally relented was almost comedic. “you didn’t get fired, did you?”

you folded your arms across the countertop with a huff, avoiding his eyes. although sehun’s opinion meant a lot to you, it was nothing compared to how seungkwan perceived you. you grew up with him, after all. “no. i quit.”

“why?”

“does it matter?” those three words came out in a much harsher, more defensive tone than you had anticipated. it was too late to apologize by the time you had processed the gravity of your words, or the effect they had on your best friend.

seungkwan matched your energy, his eyebrows raised as his tone grew just a tad harsher, as well. “well… yeah? you’re throwing a lot away. you know it’s really hard to get a job these days. you were really lucky.”

you huffed. “please, seungkwan, spare me. i’ve already been preparing for that lecture from my parents.” 

“well, what do you want me to say instead?” he snapped, folding his arms across his chest. those words stung in your chest, as if the blade had been laced with venom. out of all of the people you expected to be this harsh with you, the last person on your list was boo seungkwan.

you furrowed your eyebrows, sitting up and letting your arms fall from the counter in favor of relaxing at your sides. “nothing.” you paused before mustering up the courage to speak again, swallowing. “it was great to see you.”

you took long strides towards the door, ignoring seungkwan’s protests even as his voice grew nearer. only when you felt his hand grip onto your forearm did you finally turn back to face him, a deadpan expression dulling your features. quite the contrast from his look of pleading, sorrow filling his eyes. always the flair for the dramatics. “don’t go. please?” he paused, searching for an answer within your irises. “if i know anything about your parents, they’re gonna be pissed. we need a game plan.”

“‘we?’” you asked him quietly.

“yeah. we’re in this together.” he hooked his arm around yours, his words and the tight grip on your upper arm prompting a rush of nostalgia to numb your mind for the time being. 

“but first, we need to grab some dinner.” your eyes lit up, accentuating your smirk as you heard seungkwan groan next to you in annoyance. 

—----------------

“i hardly see how grabbing sandwiches is going to help the situation.” even so, seungkwan dipped his grilled cheese in the flavorful tomato soup in front of him, letting out a content sigh once the taste of basil and sourdough lingered in his mouth. 

“comfort food always helps keep one level headed in stressful situations. i thought you knew that,” you took a large bite from your own sandwich, as if the exaggerated actions would punctuate your words. 

of course, seungkwan knew you brought up a great point; he didn’t raise that argument when the two of you grabbed brunch before taking finals or when he ordered takeout while both of you spent the entire night applying for jobs. after all, the two of you shared a similar love of food for as long as you could remember. 

“yeah, but doesn’t it just feel like we’re prolonging the inevitable?” seungkwan’s words were slightly muffled as he chewed politely on his sandwich.

unfortunately, he brought up a great point, as well. that was the whole reason you found yourself in his family’s library in the first place: to prolong the inevitable. you swallowed nervously as an image of the disappointment on your mother’s face flashed in your mind, dabbing at the corners of your lips with a napkin. “no. i’m starving. i haven’t eaten since noon.”

seungkwan let out an audible sigh, which inevitably earned him an eye roll. “sure, we’ll go with that excuse.”

furrowing your eyebrows, you straightened out your shoulders. “excuse me, have you seen how my mom is when she gets angry?”

“of course i have. i was there when you cut the bangs off of all of her porcelain dolls because ‘you wanted to see their eyes.’” he dropped his spoon to add air quotes to the last part of his statement, much to his own amusement.  

your eyes grew nearly twice their size as you watched the man in front of you take a sip of his iced water with such infuriating casualness. “not only were you there, but you helped me cut their hair!”

“what? you don’t expect her to raise her voice at her best friend’s child, do you?” he feigned an expression of innocence, his eyes going wide as he pursed his pouty lips.

you huffed, “no. only because she’s always held you up on a pedestal. i swear, it’s like she’s always wanted to switch children with your mother.”

seungkwan laughed, a little too loudly for your liking. not that his laughs weren’t always adorable and endearing, of course. it was his next statement, however, that caught you off guard: “don’t say that.”

of course, the shock didn’t stop you from taking another jab at him. “no, really. you’ve heard her talk about how badly she wanted a son multiple times.”

seungkwan began to laugh again as more and more memories started coming back to him. your mother had always greatly esteemed him, held him to the highest regards.. to say that he didn’t appreciate those sentiments would be a lie. especially since there were plenty of occasions he could think of where he desperately needed the praise. his only wish was that she extended them towards her own child. “i’m sure that she would change her mind if her wish was ever granted,” he rationalized, still not quite eliminating the laughs escaping his lips.

you snickered. “yeah. i’m sure she would.” both of you sat in comfortable silence for a few more minutes, savoring the last few remnants of your respective meals. you, however, couldn’t stand listening to the daunting sound of your own heart racing in your chest and spoke up, “how are things going with the library?”

seungkwan wasn’t expecting you to bring up such a delicate subject of his own at a time like this. he knew that you were already under a great deal of stress and didn’t want to add another burden onto your shoulders. that was why he spoke so dismissively, “things are…fine. pretty busy.”

“just busy?” after you had successfully folded your napkin into something that vaguely resembled a swan, you lifted your head up with every intention to meet his gaze. only to look directly past his shoulder and draw in a shaky breath. “shit..”

“what??” seungkwan instantly demanded an answer and furrowed his eyebrows, watching you pull the hood of your jacket over your head and hunch your shoulders over. 

“look behind you. don’t make it obvious.” seungkwan muttered to himself before turning around in his seat to get a better look at your mother and another close friend of hers sitting across the restaurant, making no effort to be discreet. you immediately hissed in annoyance, “goddammit, i said don’t make it obvious!”

“geez, sorry.” seungkwan snapped his head back towards you, tilting his head to the side as he saw you duck under the table. suddenly, his eyes lit up as he leaned down to get a better look at you crouched down on the floor. “hey.. now seems as good a time as any to go and talk to her!”

you gasped, “are you kidding me? she’ll cause a huge scene! we better just make a run for it. i was never one to dine and dash but i guess there’s a first time for everything.”

seungkwan rolled his eyes and got to his feet, reaching for your hand. “come on, i’ll be right there beside you. who knows, she might actually take it well? she wouldn’t want to risk embarrassing herself in public, would she?”

“no, but she wouldn’t care about embarrassing me in public.” you refused to take his hand in favor of wrapping both arms around the leg of the table. “now lemme know when it’s a good time to crawl out of here.”

seungkwan laughed, thoroughly amused by your antics. “no. come on, its time to face your fears.” he crouched down again, hooking both hands around your arm. 

“seungkwan, no-” you tried to keep your voice down while keeping a firm grip on the table’s wobbly leg. 

seungkwan clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth, a scolding expression overtaking his features as he shook his head. “i can’t believe you would risk getting arrested to avoid having an adult conversation with your mom. absolutely shameful. come on.”

you shuddered out of his touch, pouting. “but i’m not ready! please, can we just wait an hour or so until they’re done..”

suddenly, seungkwan threw his head back with a loud groan of annoyance and prompted you to put a finger to your lips. “no. there’s no time like the present, come on!” despite your relentless hold on the table, your persistent arguing and whines of annoyance, seungkwan fell to his knees in an effort to successfully pull you out from under the table. he felt like he was wrangling a stubborn toddler. “jesus, you were worried about your mom making a scene?”

just then, a voice behind seungkwan’s figure called to you, “y/n?”

seungkwan looked back before scooting away from you to give you a clear view of your mother standing with her arms folded. when he got to his feet, you moved out of the way just enough for you to see her close friend in question standing next to her. the two older women stood like a pair of identical twins with their arms folded and their heads cocked to the right. you waved to the two of them, suddenly feeling much more vulnerable under the table. “heyyy mom..”

just as you looked up, you got the opportunity to witness seungkwan realize the gravity of the situation in real time. his lips pressed to a thin line as he looked off to the side, making no attempts to alleviate any suspicious appearances or keep up any innocent appearances. much to your surprise, your mother paid no attention to the man she considered her perfect son in another life. she scoffed incredulously, “come here! what are you doing here?”

you brushed off your dress pants as you slowly began to emerge from your hiding place. “i wanted to catch up with seungkwan before heading home..”

your mother wasted no time shaking her head and cutting you off, “you know what i mean.”

you looked to seungkwan with desperation in your eyes, as if asking him speechlessly to do the talking for you. he’d always had a much better way with words than you did, especially whenever your mother was concerned. she always seemed to hear him out. however.. he stayed silent. his eyes went wide once they met yours, as if trying to communicate back to you without words.

you knew right then and there that you were on your own. 

“it’s kind of a long story..”

—----------

needless to say, your mother did not take the news very well, seeing that you were now lying in the fetal position on seungkwan’s bed, tugging his small blankets closer towards your shivering figure. none of it felt.. real. your mother yelling at you and chastising you in public, seungkwan trying desperately to intervene until his efforts proved to be fruitless, the four of you getting removed from the restaurant.. but what seemed to remain frozen in your mind was the look on your mother’s face.

there was so much to be said from the look in her eyes alone, irises filled with.. hatred. the mere thought of it made you shudder. 

the image of seungkwan stepping out of his tiny bathroom in an oversized t-shirt and shorts was enough to pull you out of your miserable thoughts. for the most part. “glad to see you made yourself at home,” he teased you and made his way to the bed, grabbing a spare blanket and pillow. 

you furrowed your eyebrows as you watched him tuck the bedding under your arm. “hey. you’re not sleeping on the floor.” 

“you’re right. i’m sleeping on the couch,” seungkwan replied without skipping a beat. he ran a hand through his chestnut hair, which was already tousled from the headband he’d worn just minutes before he joined you. “goodnight.”

“wait-” you called to him just as he turned on his heel in favor of walking towards the door. then you watched in amusement as he let out a huff of mock annoyance and turn to face you with raised eyebrows. “please.. please stay with me. i don’t want to be alone right now.”

sleepovers weren’t a foreign concept to you and seungkwan. there were countless nights where study sessions, late night chats, and carpooling after parties led to impromptu sleepovers. it reached the point where both of you had extra toothbrushes and other toiletries waiting for the other. you never seemed to stay far from each other, even in slumber; usually the two of you ended up on the couch together. 

it was nothing. neither of you thought anything of it, because you didn’t have to. yet.. there was a sense of timidity within his demeanor as he stepped closer to the bed. you were quick to shrug it off and sit up once he climbed under the covers with you, relaxing back against the mattress when you felt his arm drape around your shoulders. the two of you were so close that you felt the gentle impact of the rising and falling of his chest with every steady breath he took. “what are you gonna do?”

you were close to telling seungkwan that you hadn’t thought this far ahead. you always thought you could depend on your family to help you out during tough times.. but you’d had your heart broken that day. fear settled comfortably within your heart as you laid a hand on his chest and scooted closer to him. “i don’t know.”

you were expecting a fiery rebuttal from him. or some more scolding, even reprimanding.. but none of it came. instead he spoke gently, his voice barely above a whisper, “we’ll figure it out in the morning. get some sleep.”

you nodded and let your head fall more comfortably against the pillow before shutting your eyes, his arm curled around your figure and his hand cupping your shoulder bringing that much needed sense of comfort. seungkwan, however, stared at the ceiling as you felt yourself drifting off into a peaceful slumber next to him. he connected the dots in the plaster while trying not to pay any mind to the water stain near the corner of the room, the patterns providing him temporary relief. 

he felt like he was dreaming; when you left, he wasn’t sure if the two of you were ever going to be in a situation like this again. laying together, laughing, forgetting about the rest of the world.. sure, in this particular moment the circumstances were less than ideal, but he was just grateful to feel your warmth. now more than ever.

a half an hour must have passed before he gently pulled his arm out from underneath your figure and allowed you to fall more cozily against the mattress. he sat quietly at his desk, which was less than two steps away from his bed, and opened the drawer slowly in hopes that you wouldn’t hear the gentle creak. there was a letter tucked securely into an envelope, one that he had read so many times that it was a miracle the seal of tape was still effective. 

no matter how many times he had already read the letter, the beautiful words still brought a single tear to his eye and a gentle smile to his lips. it was the last thing his mother had ever given him besides the library, both of which he held close to his heart. he read it almost every night before he went to bed, swearing that he heard her voice in his head every single time. 

on a separate sheet, she’d left him instructions and tips for running the library. he still couldn’t fully believe that the family business was completely in his hands now. he put his own career on hold to see it through, devoting his entire time to ensuring the success of the library. he had no other employees. he was forced to move into a much cheaper apartment across the street, saving money on transportation.

yes, some days were better than others. but he wouldn’t trade the business for anything else in the world.

now that you were here with him, seungkwan felt so many different emotions hitting him all at once. while he was grateful to finally see you again, there was a nagging feeling akin to resentment in the back of his mind. he only hoped that he wouldn’t let the troubling emotion take over him completely.

you were already a shoo-in for the internship agency near your school. judging by the end of your interview, you basically already had a guaranteed position. it was near school, it paid fairly well, you could still go to school part time.. you had nothing to worry about, having all of your prospects lined into a neat row.

seungkwan, however, was not quite so fortunate. school was challenging for him; when one crisis was ending, another was just beginning. one particular event was the breaking point for him. his finger had been hovering over his laptop’s mouse for a good five minutes as he gazed at the highlighted button on the screen: ‘submit request to withdraw.’ maybe school wasn’t for everyone. maybe school wasn’t for him.

his fingertip had inched closer towards the mouse when you finally reached his side, slumping down on the chair next to him. before you could complain about a strenuous day in your psychology class, you took note of the image displayed on his laptop screen and immediately slammed it shut. “what do you think you’re doing??” you demanded. 

“i can’t take this anymore,” he groaned, tilting his head back. the hood of his jacket fell back upon his shoulders in the process, revealing his tousled hair. “i’m done. i’m dropping out.”

“no you’re not,” you argued without skipping a beat.

“yes i am.”

“no you’re not.”

seungkwan groaned again, covering his now strained eyes. he’d lost count of the hours he’d spent staring at the screen in front of him. “yes i am! it’s my only option. plus, if worse comes to worse, i’ll always have the library.”

your hand fell to rest on his back, silently communicating to him that you sympathized with him. you had had plenty of trials and tribulations during your time in school, seungkwan knew that fully well. “is this about your trig. test? seungkwan, no one passes that class. it’s not your fault you got stuck with the worst teacher.”

“it’s not just that.” he scooted his chair to the side so he could face you more fully. the look in his eyes was painfully unfamiliar; the closest resemblance being one that he’d worn a few times as a child. over some stupid, simple things that didn’t matter one bit anymore. this.. this was different. your best friend was scared to death about what lay ahead of him.

you took seungkwan’s hand in yours and squeezed it the moment you noticed his gentle tremble. “you’re one of the smartest people i know. if anyone can get through this, its you,” you told him quietly, with such gentle sincerity that warmed his heart. “i’m not going to let anything happen to you, okay? i’ll always be here for you.”  

i’ll always be here for you. 

what seungkwan didn’t know was that you replayed that moment in your mind every night before you went to bed. he didn’t know you were currently reminiscing in your sleep. guilt and regret overtook you every single time you thought about the relief flooding his features upon hearing such a beautiful sentiment from you: i’ll always be here for you. 

what a phony he must think you are.

—---------------------------

the aroma of fresh coffee wafted through the air of his small apartment, strong enough to pull you out of your deep sleep. the promise of the refreshing beverage prompted you to sit up and stretch your arms out before joining your brand new roommate in the kitchen. seungkwan was already seated near the bar, halfway through his toast when he smiled at the sight of you, “morning, sleeping beauty.”

you let out a chuckle that resembled more of a scoff before taking the initiative and pouring yourself a cup of coffee. “i would have slept a lot better if someone didn’t hog all the blankets.”

“tsk tsk,” seungkwan shook his head while dabbing at the corners of his lips with a napkin. less than five seconds passed before he was on his feet, carrying his own mug in one hand and reaching for his briefcase with the other. “well, i’m off. do me a favor and clean the kitchen, will you?”

you furrowed your eyebrows while watching him search the tiny sitting room (which was more like a nook) for his dress shoes. “hey, wait! where are you going?”

he snickered, “where do you think? i’m going to work.” 

“can i come with you?”

seungkwan stared at you incredulously. “why would you want to do that?”

you cocked your head to the side, confused. wasn’t the answer perfectly obvious? “because if i spend nine hours cooped up in here by myself, i’ll go crazy. no offense.”

he brushed off your statement, grabbing his keys off the tiny hook near the front door. “what makes you think you won’t go crazy cooped up in the library for nine hours?”

you paused and shrugged your shoulders as a pleading look filled your eyes. “i’ll.. be with you? and books?” 

once again, seungkwan had to wrestle with all of the emotions hitting him at once- he’d enjoyed this time with you, yes, but.. a small part of him wanted space. he wanted time alone to sort through his conflicted feelings. no words could describe the guilt that sentiment, alone, had brought upon him. still, he let out an exaggerated huff and tilted his head back, “ughh fine. hurry and get ready.”

the squeal that escaped your lips nearly caused seungkwan to jump enough to spill his coffee. much to his own relief, the hot liquid never escaped from his cup and fled towards his sweater. it was a close call, however, when you threw your arms around his neck and pressed a firm kiss against his cheek. that time a few drops did spill on the floor, prompting the two of you to giggle in almost frightening unison before seungkwan made a dramatic show of pretending to rub the kiss off of his cheek. “ew-ew-ew-ew-”

“shut up,” you called out to him before shutting his bedroom door behind you. it didn’t take too long for you to find a sensible outfit, seeing that such boring outfits had taken over your entire wardrobe since you graduated. 

before too long, the two of you were greeted by the crisp autumn air as seungkwan locked his door. you both held onto your mugs, chasing the warmth of the coffee as you took prolonged sips in unison. in that moment, you couldn’t help but wonder if seungkwan shared the same sentiment as you, if he thought about how taking the familiar road to work felt so strangely different this time around.

“why don’t you hire some other employees?” you asked seungkwan once the two of you sat comfortably in the warmth of the quiet library.

“what, are you tired of your new job already?” seungkwan teased, tilting his head with that all too familiar lopsided grin. 

“job? who said anything about a job?” you fired back, all in good fun, of course. you had no issues helping seungkwan out with the business, if he would have you. you could only imagine how much of a nightmare it was to run a business completely alone. besides.. you hated the thought of sleeping at his apartment all day while he worked his ass off.

he nodded his head once, his grin only growing wider. “ohh, i see what’s going on here. shame, i expected more from you.”

“you’ll have to get in line,” you chuckled before averting your gaze back to the sticky note on the front desk in front of you. you’d been drawing tiny flowers on the little slip of paper for about an hour now, hoping to pass the time quickly. soon, you spoke up again without looking up from the lime green pad of paper, “you didn’t answer my question, though.”

you noticed seungkwan shrug in your peripheral vision. “can’t really afford it.”

he watched as you nodded in understanding, eyes still not leaving the sticky note in front of you. “well.. you could always ask for volunteers. there’s a lot of different ways to get the word out.”

seungkwan chuckled dismissively, “i doubt anyone’s gonna want to volunteer at the local library.” he spun in his chair slowly to gaze at one side of the open space in front of him and then the other. the first day he had ever worked there by himself he realized that he had to come to terms with the harsh reality that no one would value this place quite like he did. 

you caught onto it, however, and it broke your heart to put yourself in his shoes. he’d barely jump started his own career before this was thrown onto his lap; to say it was a lot of pressure was the understatement of the year. “you never know,” you countered in a hushed tone. 

several minutes passed before the loud bell startled you out of your boredom. just before you could lecture seungkwan about investing in a battery operated one, sehun stood on the other side of the desk. your focus shifted completely to the man standing in front of you, both of you separated only by the smooth oak desk. 

“hey sehun,” a short greeting you were barely able to muster as you rose to your feet.  

sehun, of course, stayed cordial, his grin just notably wider than the last he’d greeted you with. “hey. i didn’t realize you’d be working here too.” 

“oh.. yeah. seungkwan and i go way back, i thought i could help him out a bit.” you tilted your head towards the other man in question, who was still seated comfortably in the chestnut leather chair. strange.. he was usually so quick to attend to his customers’ needs.

“why don’t you help sehun grab his books? get some practice in?” you didn’t have to look over at seungkwan to know that insufferable smirk had taken over his lips. 

“uh.. yeah, sure. i can do my best.” the promise of getting some alone time with your former ‘campus crush’ was almost enough to make you giggle like you were in college all over again. you were quick to abandon seungkwan in favor of joining the taller man as he strode towards the aisle directly across from where your friend was sitting. “so..classic literature, huh?”

sehun chuckled fondly at your attempt to make conversation, prompting that warming sensation in your chest to return. “yeah. i don’t know if seungkwan told you, but i’m teaching ‘reading comprehension’ on campus. the library over there seems to have lost most of its funding since we graduated. he’s helped out a lot.”

you nodded and began to pull the books off the shelves that he pointed to with his free hand. “‘reading comprehension?’ i loved that class.”

“oh you did? it was one of my favorites. with mrs-”

“sylvester,” you finished politely.

“sylvester, yeah,” sehun chuckled again, and it was the most that you’d ever seen him smile. although it was somewhat short lived, it didn’t disappear completely from view. “she transferred a few years back. that was when i got the promotion.”

“oh.” an expression of disappointment clouded your features as he led you into the next aisle. you tried not to think about how you wished you’d brought one of those carts, considering it was completely off topic.. “that’s too bad. i don’t think i’ve ever had a teacher like her.”

sehun sighed, tucking a small pile of books under his other arm. “i don’t think anyone has. she left some pretty big boots to fill.”

“i’m sure you’re more than capable,” you assured him with a tilt of your head. “you were the one with the best assignments in ‘creative writing.’”

sehun donned an expression mixed with shock and confusion. for a moment you wondered if it was because he had no memory of sharing a creative writing class with you. had you really managed to stay so invisible? his gaze left you on the edge of your seat until he finally spoke, his words throwing you through another loop, “i.. didn’t think anyone remembered those. in fact, i hoped no one did.”

you furrowed your eyebrows, showcasing your genuine confusion. “why? your writing was so beautiful.”

he let out a short chuckle in favor of accepting your compliment. “i prefer to leave it to the professionals.” so he was handsome and he was humble.. good to know. his next statement pulled you out of your temporary daze, “speaking of which-” his gaze briefly shifted to the stack of books in both hands. “i better get back to it.”

“oh, yeah. yeah. sure.” however, you couldn’t bring yourself to face seungkwan without taking a step in a much bolder direction. “maybe we could talk about them sometime.” your heart skipped a beat as you watched him turn back to get a proper look at you once more. “i mean..the professionals. we could grab coffee sometime, talk about our favorites.”

he stayed quiet for a moment, as if he was thinking carefully over your question. once again, he seemed intent on keeping you on the edge of your seat, on stopping your heart from beating in your chest. relief warmed your heart as a gentle, barely visible smile was sent in your direction. “yeah. i’d like that a lot.”

even though the words were on the tip of your tongue, you couldn’t bring yourself to mutter a confirmation or any other proper response. planning the logistics or even a proper meeting time and place would have been a good start. even so, bashful silence filled the air and sehun was graced with an equally awkward grin before the two of you met with seungkwan again to carry out the rest of the checking process.

the crisp autumn air did nothing to soothe your shaking hands and arms as you and sehun carried the borrowed books to his car. he kept a respectful distance the entirety of the short walk to the end of the parking lot, not enough to keep you wondering if he found your presence to be a nuisance, of course. you earned yourself a smile of gratitude once the entirety of his collection was placed carefully in his backseat, his words doing nothing to soothe the aching in your heart: “so, about that coffee…”

“i should be done around five,” you cut him off, regretting it immediately. suddenly, one of your mother’s habitual lectures had once again proved fruitless and you realized just how pathetically eager you must have sounded. 

much to your relief, sehun nodded to signal his confirmation. “five sounds great. i’ll just meet you over there, yeah?” your gaze followed his hand as he pointed to the coffee shop that was no more than a ten minute walk from your current location.

luckily, you were able to hold back a sigh of relief. “yeah.” you paused, taking the opportunity to mirror his smile as your hands linked together behind your back. “well..see you then.”

after you were sent on your way with a quiet ‘goodbye,’ you were lucky not to trip over your own feet as you turned on your heel. to tell the truth, you only felt like you had come back down to earth once you were face to face with seungkwan in the warmth of the library again. his smirk was infuriating, as per usual, as he confirmed that he’d listened to your entire exchange, “big date tonight, huh?”

scolding him was a redundant move. instead, you followed his remark with a smirk of your own, arms folding across your chest while you eagerly awaited for the storm to come. “yeah.. about that, i’m gonna need to head out early.”

—-----------------------------

there was nothing quite like the cafe you knew like the back of your head in the evening. just as the sun began to set, the limited light peeked through the windows, crafting with the low fi hip hop in the speakers to create the perfect ambience. there was a sense of comfort in the familiarity, which counted for everything in this moment, especially. 

although the shaking in your hands had come to a timid stop, there was still an uncomfortable persistent thumping in your heart. if y/n from years ago could only see you now.. as inexperienced as you had become over the last four years, it didn’t stop a fair pang of excitement from mixing with your overall anxiety. you were on a date.. well, if that was the right word to describe this meeting with sehun. 

the man in question pulled you out of your daze once he sat across from you, taking in the sight of you with a relaxed grin. “sorry, i know i’m a bit late.”

“no, it’s fine. i barely even noticed,” you replied truthfully. “i’m in my own little word over here, i was barely keeping track of time.”

“well, that makes me feel a little bit better,” a deep chuckle punctuated his gentle words before he turned his attention towards the small menu in front of him. you did the same, even if it was a bit of a formality; you had known fully well what you were going to order before setting foot in the cafe. it simply kept you busy while trying to formulate a good response. 

once the orders had been placed, your arms were folded over the small table as you paid full attention to the man in front of you. “so..should we start with poetry?”

“actually,” sehun responded without a sense of urgency to interrupt you in his tone. it was quite the contrast from what you had grown accustomed to. “i thought i might get to know you first, if that’s alright.”

you raised an eyebrow, his statement catching you off guard. “oh?”

“is that so surprising?” sehun noticed the surprise that had filled your demeanor and honestly, it made him feel guilty. maybe he had unintentionally sent you messages signaling his disinterest during your time together in college.

“yeah- i mean-” you stuttered, pondering your own response carefully in the meantime. “well, i think we both just had a lot on our mind back then.” 

he nodded in understanding. “you’re probably right. but i don’t want you to think i was ever uninterested.” he paused just as a barista briefly interrupted the two of you to place two mugs on the table, being quick to send a quiet ‘thank you’ in his direction. 

you thought about telling him the truth, that the fear of his disinterest in you kept you up at night. that your social anxiety prevented you from getting to know anyone or spending time outside of your social circle. but what good would complaining do? instead, you nodded shortly. “then in that case.. i’d like to get to know you, too.”

you watched as sehun took the brief moment before his lips reached the mug in front of him to send you a smile. seconds later, he was delicately wiping a light stripe of foam that had landed above his upper lip. “can i start by asking you something a little personal?”

“go right ahead. i’m an open book.”

he set his porcelain mug down carefully on the table, the impact making no sound. “what brings you back in town?”

once again, his question had brought you into a deep sense of pondering. although you hardly expected him to take the same direction as your mother and tell you how much of a lazy couch potato you were, there was still a possibility he would find your actions distasteful. “things.. weren’t working out there,” was all you could lead with. “i wasn’t happy.”

sehun wasn’t sure if asking you to delve into specifics was the best idea. “i’m sorry to hear that,” he said, the sympathy in his tone practically tangible. 

“that’s okay.” as always, you were quick to dismiss your own attitude; you were never the self-pitying type. 

“i’m glad that you were able to reconnect with seungkwan after so long,” he noticed. “you two have been thick as thieves for as long as i can remember.”

to tell the truth, you were surprised that sehun had even noticed. on the other hand, the two of you never seemed to let each other out of your sight for long. “i owe seungkwan a lot,” you sighed. “he’ll try to deny it but i don’t know if i would have been able to get through school without him.”

sehun beamed, his understanding of the sentimentality in your statement alone bringing a warm feeling to his chest. “you two are lucky to have each other.”

suddenly, you felt guilty discussing another man in such a manner while on a date (if it even was a date). you chimed in with a bashful grin, eager to change the subject, “tell me more about your job.”

sehun chuckled, “what do you want to know?”

“was mrs. sylvester the only reason you started teaching?” while eagerly awaiting a response, you savored the wonderfully bitter taste of your now slightly chilled latte.

sehun shook his head, gaze temporarily flicking to the modest silverware resting on his napkin. “no. everyone around me got tired of hearing me talking incessantly about my favorite scribes and poets, so i thought it would be better to lecture people who would actually listen to me. for the most part.” 

an amused beam lit up your features as you chuckled affectionately. “do you teach anything else besides ‘reading comprehension?’”

he gently shook his head, “as of right now, no. but i’m aiming to take over the literature and mythology position once it’s cleared up.”

“then i’ll keep my fingers crossed,” you told him, your beam ever persistent. 

“i appreciate it,” he looked up to see you already staring at him with reservation in your features. suddenly, he came to the realization that he had never realized how vibrant your eyes were up close. maybe he should have paid more attention in the past. he spoke up again before he could allow any awkward silence to loom over your table, “i’m keeping my fingers crossed for you as well. i hope you find what you’re looking for.”

just as you nodded in gratitude, you came to the realization that you had no idea what you were looking for. you came back home with desperation to get time for yourself, hope that you would find comfort in the nostalgia your hometown provided.. but you never thought about how slowly the answers to your questions would reveal themselves. “i hope so too,” was all you could think of to say.

much to your surprise, sehun was easy to make conversation with. he was respectful and quiet, not to mention attentive as he listened to you drone on and on about your favorite writings. you thoroughly enjoyed the banter you shared with him, as if the two of you were playing tennis with witty remark after witty remark. 

you had to take note of how incredibly smart he was. he was well read in every sense of the word, judging by the countless subjects of literature he’d studied in his youth. it was impressive. not to mention attractive. 

both of you reached the bottom of your mugs at the same time, and before too long, sehun had already paid the bill. he ignored your protests, your arguments that you should have been the one to pay since the outing was your idea. and of course, he politely insisted on driving you back to seungkwan’s apartment even if it was within walking distance. 

the moment you sat in his passenger seat, your gaze shifted to his hands circled gently around the steering wheel. the sleeves of his sweater had been rolled up to his elbows, exposing his lean forearms. however it was nothing compared to his side profile, the dimmed sunset lighting accentuating the sharpness of his jawline. “i’m glad we did this,” you were able to tell him. 

he nodded once, “me too. hope i didn’t take you away from seungkwan for too long.”

“he’ll be fine. he’s managed without me long enough,” you chuckled once he parked the car in the complex’s lot. before you could bring yourself to exit his car, to rid yourself of the man’s warm presence, you gifted him with a smile of gratitude. “i’m glad we did this.”

“me too,” sehun agreed, returning the grin with sincerity. “will you be at the library again tomorrow?”

“most likely,” you chuckled.

“perfect.” he watched as you stepped out of his car, ignoring the cold air hitting his skin once more. he called to you one last time before you could gently slam the door shut, “see you tomorrow.”  

you called out to him in farewell just as the impact of the car door closing sounded. the butterflies took flight in your stomach just as you watched him drive off, permitting yourself one last look at him through the slightly tinted window. none of it felt real. you knew that for the foreseeable future, you were about to ask yourself over and over again if these memories were just a figment of your imagination. the way he looked much more handsome up close, the way you were able to study his freckles and the gentle curls in his hair..

a wind rushing past your figure snapped you out of your daydreams; soon you were walking up the rickety staircase and back into seungkwan’s apartment. he was waiting in the sitting room, peering down at the coffee table which was covered in heavy files and scattered sheets of paper. he looked up to you through thin-framed glasses, raising his eyebrows, “took you long enough to get back home.”

your brows pulled together instinctively as you tossed your jacket onto the nearest coat hook. “what are you talking about? i wasn’t even gone for that long.”

“you were gone long enough to force me to close the library all by myself,” he argued without a hint of malice in his tone. “what did the two of you get up to, anyways?”

“coffee,” you sighed, slumping down next to him on the loveseat. suddenly, seungkwan paid absolutely no mind to the endless paperwork he had been tasked with and turned towards you. you went on, “we talked for a few hours.”

he tilted his head towards you with wide, questioning eyes, “aaand?”

“aand-” you mocked, snickering. “he’s.. excellent. really excellent.”

seungkwan stared at you in bewilderment as a snicker of his own escaped his lips. “‘really excellent?’ that’s the best you can do?”

you rolled your eyes, giving his shoulder a gentle shove. “i mean- i don’t know! he’s really smart. most of the time we were talking about the books and authors we both liked.” you paused, pondering your next response. “there’s something about him that is so..magnetizing. he’s so reserved..i always thought he was indifferent. but he’s not.”

“he sounds like a pretty great person,” seungkwan bowed his head in favor of taking another proper look at the piling documents in front of him. even if he knew there was absolutely no way he would focus properly on them with you seated next to him. his gaze didn’t leave a particular folder as he asked, “so it’s off to bed for you, then?”

you pressed a hand to your heart, feigning offense. “you would dismiss me so quickly?” after seungkwan merely hummed in response, you sighed, “no, actually. i probably shouldn’t have drank coffee this late.”

“if only someone had cautioned you against it,” seungkwan mused half-heartedly, flipping through a stack of papers after going through a few paragraphs with a highlighter. it was amazing just how quickly boredom set in after watching him flip through them for less than a minute.

“you could have,” you snickered and leaned your head against the back of the couch, staring at the patterns in the ceiling for the brief time in the uncomfortable position. “we should go on a walk. i think you could use some fresh air.”

an amused smirk tugged at your lips as you watched seungkwan let the papers fall on his lap in favor of staring at you incredulously. “what? no, it’s freezing out there.”

“it’s not that bad, we’ll only be out there for a second.” after grabbing the papers from his lap and slamming the pile back on the coffee table, you rose to your feet. “come on! i know what it’s like working indoors all the time. you need to go outside; it’s good for your health. and your psyche.”

seungkwan huffed, swatting your hand away when you tried to link arms with him. “you know what’s also good for my psyche? paying rent for two different buildings on time.”

ever persistent, you reached for his hand again. “these papers will all still be here when we get back. come on. take some time for yourself.”

he was finding it more difficult to resist your pleadings by the second, especially considering you brought up excellent points. he rarely got the chance to take time for himself.. he rarely got to enjoy his surroundings and reconnect with the town he grew up in. he sighed, rather heavily at that, bringing his palm to his forehead. “ughhhh fine. if i get frostbite, i’m killing you.”

“it’s definitely not cold enough for that.” you grabbed both of his hands to pull him off of the couch, beaming once the two of you were face to face. then you gently reached out to grab his glasses off, folding them before setting them down carefully on the table. your fingertips never came in contact with the lenses; you knew completely well how much seungkwan hated scuffs and marks on his glasses. “when did you become such a hermit?”

seungkwan’s gaze followed your hands as they fell to the coffee table just before he met your eyes again. he chuckled lowly, “a lot has changed since you left.”

you shook your head. “it doesn’t seem like it. you’re still just as annoying as you were the day i left.”

“takes one to know one.” much to your annoyance, seungkwan promptly moved his hand up to ruffle your hair, his nose scrunching up in an infuriatingly endearing way. he took note of your scowl, snickering loudly in amusement as he quickly turned on his heel before you could swat his shoulder, “come along then! you were the one who was begging to go on a walk.”  

you followed after him with a huff, both of you slipping into your large coats and boots in alarming unison. before too long, you were asking yourself how it was possible for the weather to drop so significantly and so quickly. regardless, the two of you walked down the street shoulder to shoulder, each heavy breath you took visible in a cloud of smoke.

seungkwan glanced at you in his peripheral vision once you’d linked arms with him, snickering, “is this what you wanted?”

“yes,” you replied curtly. you tried to ignore the soreness in your back caused by the hunching of your shoulders. in your defense, cold weather ruined your posture. with your free hand, you tugged your jacket closer to your chest in desperation. it wasn’t even winter yet, why was it so freezing?

“okay,” seungkwan mused, unconvinced. he let out a quiet huff of his own before scooting closer to you and keeping both hands in his pockets. “where are you taking me, anyways?”

“don’t sound too enthusiastic,” you replied. unfortunately, you hadn’t thought this far ahead. while you scoped out the area in hopes of finding a place to relax and forget about the rest of the world, you completely forgot about the loose crack in the pavement and tripped over your own feet. your hold on seungkwan’s arms loosened as you fell forward a few steps, causing your best friend to burst into a fit of laughter.

“phew! that never gets old,” he cackled, throwing his head back as he moved a hand to clutch at his chest.

you were less than amused, stepping forward to grab his forearms in hopes of grounding yourself. “you’re the worst, seungkwan.”

“you know you love me.” it was a miracle that seunkgwan was able to get the words out, considering the laughs that persistently fell from his lips. it was a deep fit of laughter too, one that rumbled from his chest and had his shoulders hunched over as he tried in desperation to catch his breath.

“oh my god. was it really that funny?” you asked incredulously. your lips twitched in order to hold back an amused smile; it wasn’t the situation in and of itself that you found humorous, only seungkwan’s reaction. his endearing laugh and beam, the redness in his cheeks, the light in his eyes..

once he had composed himself enough to stand up straight, he let a few more faint chuckles escape from his lips as he wiped his eyes. “uh, man. i guess it's because i haven’t seen you do it in a long time. i forgot how stupid you looked.”

your eyes went wide as you linked arms with him again, scoffing. “how could you laugh at such a delicate subject for me?” you teased. “i still have the scars to prove it.

“besides, you have no room to talk. you’re the one who couldn’t make it halfway through the monkey bars.”

seungkwan stopped dead in his tracks, prompting you to do the same. you couldn’t hold back a loud snicker once you took in the deadpanned expression he wore, signaling that he took offense. “come on. that’s a completely different issue.”

your hold on his arm loosened once again as you burst into a loud fit of laughter, shaking your head. “no it isn’t! you looked like an idiot hanging there lifeless on the rails.”

as your laughter only grew louder, seungkwan did everything he could to keep a level head. He kept his chin up, taking a step forward with his eyes narrowed. “whatever. i’ve come a long way since then.”

“oh yeah?” you challenged him. “prove it.”

seungkwan stopped in his track once again in favor of turning towards you with furrowed eyebrows. “what are you talking about?”

you paused, scoping out your surroundings as you cupped your chin with your thumb and index finger. pretending to be deep in thought, of course. you spun in a slow circle until your eyes landed on the desired target: the nearest playground. it was completely empty, perfect for seungkwan to showcase his so called newfound talents. 

without answering, you grabbed onto seungkwan’s forearm and forced his hand out of his jacket pocket. once your fingers were laced with his, you booked it towards the playground in question. seungkwan stumbled a little bit but followed your lead, laughing in disbelief, “hey, would you slow down for a second? god-”

once the familiar, run down monkey bar stand came into view, you came to a sudden and full stop. seungkwan nearly tripped over his own feet again, much to your amusement, but you were quick to brush it off and fall to the ground in a cross-legged position. “go on,” you encouraged him, gesturing dramatically towards the stand with a malicious grin.

he cocked his head to the side as he studied you with an amused smirk. you only responded with a raised eyebrow, the two of you silently communicating, waiting for the other to crack. much to your relief, it was seungkwan who finally broke the silence with a loud groan of annoyance, “fine. whatever makes you feel better.”

you clapped your hands in excitement and watched him walk pitifully towards the monkey bars. he ignored your cheers of encouragement as he climbed up the small ladder and reached both hands out to grip on the first rail, falling forward instantly. but much to your surprise, he kept his grip firm. “seung-kwan, seung-kwan, seung-kwan,” you chanted rhythmically, clapping your hands between each loud cheer. 

it felt like he made it to the middle of the stand in the blink of an eye. he took a moment to glance over at you with a prideful smirk once he’d reached his former stopping point. “ha! see?” he called out to you.

“you haven’t finished anything yet, go on!” you ignored the crisp, chilling winds that grew more intense by the second, focusing all of your intention on seungkwan instead. you could still see the faint cloud of vapor escaping his lips with every breath he took and you had to hand it to him- the fact that he was able to do this with such determination and focus was impressive. “go on, you’re so so close!”

suddenly, you began to wonder if he’d started working out more consistently since the two of you parted ways. he only paused for a second or two between movements, save the long-ish break in the middle to gloat. he kept his knees bent the entire time too, so his feet wouldn’t touch the ground and assist him in his endeavors. towards the end he began to huff louder, unwilling to showcase his growing tiredness. 

you, however, never got tired of encouraging him. “you got this! just a little further…there you go…” just then, your loud cheer nearly startled seungkwan enough to let go of the bars to fall to the ground rather than swing his feet towards the other ladder. 

after making sure you were able to clearly witness him roll his eyes, he climbed down and plopped down on the ground next to you with a loud sigh. “satisfied?” he asked, letting his back fall against the long brown grass.

“more than satisfied.” you smirked in his direction before mirroring his lying position with a sigh of content. your hands laid comfortably on your stomach as the two of you stared up at the stars in comfortable silence. “i’ve missed this,” you muttered without thinking. 

seungkwan paused, contemplating the gravity of those three words. he didn’t know how to tell you that he never knew true loneliness until you left town. that there was a pang of resentment towards you because of it, one that couldn’t be so easily disposed of. even once the relief that came with the knowledge that you were there to stay set over him. “me too,” he whispered. “me too.”  

you smiled upon hearing his agreement, and the two of you lay in comfortable silence once again. you studied the sky for any familiar constellations, the stars shining like diamonds that night in particular. maybe it was something within the sentimentality of the night with seungkwan and sehun that brought so much more beauty to the sky above. or maybe.. it was because it had been forever since you took a moment to simply look up.

-

stay tuned for part two, coming soon >:)