#oh no you're telling me that people wanna write more than 1000 words in a writing website

[good-fwiend-in-wome]

you know what it's 2023 and I'm done arguing. next time someone goes "oh man scp used to be cool and scary but now LONG and YOU SOMETIMES NEED TO KNOW STUFF ABOUT THE SETTING like oh no what happened to the good ol days of spooky monster men that kill you that was peak horror" I'm just gonna explode them

[le-panda-chocovore]

Can I ask from this ask game : https://www.tumblr.com/toomanyfandomsthings/749729499738996736/send-me-a-ship-and-a-number-and-ill-tell-you?source=share

No. 2, 10, 11, 12, 15 for SuguSato, BokuAka, AziraCrow, and Karushuu.....Thanks 🌻

LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO !!

2. What do their love letters look like ?

SuguSato : Suguru is chill and poetic, he writes normally and puts some cute sentences here and there. He also has to remind his boyfriend to not make a mess while he's away. He signs it with "Love, Suguru" and his writing is super neat. Satoru rambles too much and writes completely irrelevant things and probably signs with "XOXO" and a ridiculously cute thing like "your babe" or "the person you love the most", he changes often. His love confessions are overwhelming because he just says what he's thinking without filter and he really loves Suguru very very much.

BokuAka : Bokuto doesn't know how to write a love letter. He talks about his day and describes everything that reminded him of Akaashi. He also compares Akaashi to random things like a dishwasher or a curtain (it makes sense in his brain, but only his). Akaashi is confused but finds that cute anyway. Akaashi is a bit more poetic, he writes pretty things and says I love you and I hope you're doing fine.

AziraCrow : Aziraphale's love letters are 10 pages long and full of metaphors and poems and comparisons and adoration. He sometimes sends an entire book or a collection of texts with his letter, saying "this represents how I feel about you" Crowley's love letters are 1000 words max but he's very clear about his feelings. It's easier for him to write down things than tell them face-to-face. Sometimes he just writes "Thinking of you. I miss you. Take care." and that's all. Aziraphale loves it.

Karushuu : Gakushuu writes like a general sending battle directives during a war, he signs it with "do not die until my return" or something like that. Karma's letters are... messy. Full of hearts and emojis and petnames (mostly to make fun of Shuu), he's purposely exaggerating to embarrass his boyfriend, he shares random anecdotes then says "are you missing me ? 😔❤". One time he put glitter in the envelope and Gakushuu still holds a grudge against him.

10. What TV shows do they watch together, and which ones do they hide from the other ?

SuguSato : Satoru made Suguru watch Digimon. Suguru secretly likes Barbieverse while Satoru pretends to not like Beauty & Fashion TV shows.

BokuAka : They watch Avatar: The Last Airbender and Percy Jackson & the Olympians together. I don't think they particularly hide anything from each other but perhaps Akaashi enjoys some chill shows on his own.

AziraCrow : Aziraphale watches BBC Sherlock when Crowley's not here, and Crowley watches house decoration or prank shows. When they're together they watch Cooking Shows.

Karushuu : They watch those Quiz Games and compete with each other on their couch, they try to find the answer before the participants. Alone, Gakushuu watches documentaries, and Karma watches telenovelas or reality shows to laugh at dumb people on TV.

11. What was their first impression of each other ?

SuguSato : Satoru -> "Bangs. Earrings. Baggy. Is he... a delinquent ?!" | Suguru -> "Pretty... Is this his natural hair color ? How can he be so pretty."

BokuAka : Bokuto -> "I wanna play with him I wanna play with him I wanna play volleyball!!" | Akaashi -> "Bokuto-sempai... I can't believe I'm going to play with him. He seems cool, I don't want to make a bad impression."

AziraCrow : Aziraphale -> "What are they doing.... Are they talking to me . . ?" *then after Crowley lighted up the stars* "Oh ! Oh that's really amazing and wonderful, they're a genius !" | [angel] Crowley -> "Nice lad" (was too focused on the nebulae to think anything about Azi)

*meeting in Eden Garden* Aziraphale -> "Oh that's- wait have they always been so beautiful ? Wait no I'm not supposed to think of that !" | [demon] Crowley -> "Oh wow they aren't a simple obedient angel at all, they're so daring and unpredictable ! Amazing."

Karushuu : Gakushuu -> "He looks so arrogant, but he never going to reach my level, I won't need to worry about him." | Karma -> "Fucking Nerd, he seems so annoying, I can't want to steal his first place and see his crying face."

12. What do they do for their anniversary ?

SuguSato : Vacations on the beach and long talk about how much they love each other.

BokuAka : Chilling day, staying at home to watch a movie and eat pancakes, perhaps a breakfast in bed.

AziraCrow : Dinner at Ritz and a long night walk under the stars.

Karushuu : They change for every birthday, they have a competition for the one who gives the greatest gift. Gakushuu won by proposing to Karma when they were 24. (Gifts included : Shuu stealing his father's credit card and walking through the town with his boyfriend, buying him everything he wants ; a weekend trip to a hot spring ; a serenade at 5am (Gakushuu almost killed his boyfriend) ; and other things.)

15. What would they change about each other ?

SuguSato : Canonically ? Nothing, they would change themselves for the other. In the AU where everything is fine ? Suguru would like Satoru to be more considerate toward others and Satoru would like Suguru to take better care of himself.

BokuAka : They're married, what is there to change about them ?

AziraCrow : Nothing. They would pretend to but actually, they wouldn't change a thing. (they would just like it if the other recognized being actually nice/a bastard out loud). Okay I changed my mind. They would make the other stop pretending to not be who they really are.

Karushuu : Karma wishes Gakushuu would break more rules and Gakushuu would like Karma to break way less.

_______________________________________

YAY IT'S OVER AND I DIDN'T TAKE 3 WEEKS TO POST IT THIS TIME !! Be proud of me :3

I'm mostly talking about High School BokuAka here, not the post-timeskip where they're both adults.

Next time send me just 1 ship at time because I'm losing myself trying to figure out how to do everyone LMAO

[johnkrrasinski]

be my baby; 

full masterlist

Pairings: bucky barnes x camgirl!reader (modern au)

Word count: 1,834

Warning: SMUT. sexy times, cuss words, masturbation, (female & male). MUST BE 18+ 

Summary: you were a camgirl and bucky barnes was your favorite regular client. what happens when you realized you were catching feelings? 

a/n: this one’s written for @candy-and-writing​‘s 1000 followers writing challenge. congrats girl! i chose the prompt “you’re fucking beautiful.” 

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

The screen of your laptop lit up, illuminating the dimmed room you were unchaperoned in. The ringing tone reverberated, waiting for you to accept the call, and the familiar face and those sapphire blue eyes emerged.

"Hey there, handsome." You coquettishly whispered.

"Hey, baby. You ready to make daddy feel good tonight?"

"Yes, daddy. I’m always ready for you." You writhed for the man on the screen.

Bucky had been one of your regular clients for three months now and he was irrefutably your favourite. Those hypnotizing blue eyes and that deep gravel voice, especially when he went into the full commanding mode, mandating you to please him; that smug look on his face when he triumphantly made you roll your eyes to the back of your head, and the way his gentle words would soothe you afterwards made you wish he was right there in the same room as you instead of being linked by internet access. Sometimes you'd think that you were falling for the man, but the stringent voice in your head would quickly clear those daydreams away saying, "no! you gotta be professional. He probably has a girlfriend or a wife in real life." (and you swear you didn't hear your heart fracturing at the thought)

"Good girl. Always so obedient for daddy, huh?" you nodded. "Now take off that bra and those panties, then lean back and spread your legs wide for me."

"Yes, daddy," you followed his orders; spreading your legs wide, putting each on the sides of your laptop, giving him a full display of your glistening cunt.

"Such a pretty cunt. Now, rub that clit for me, c'mon."

You slowly slid your fingers down from your bare chest, to your belly and then to the spot that he wanted you to touch. You made a circling motion on the sensitive bundle of nerves. You shut your eyes as you let yourself relish the pleasure. You whimpered with your mouth open and bit your lip to suppress it.

"Play with your tits baby." Your other hand move to your breast and you groped the globe and then you pinched the nipple. "Yeah, just like that. God, you're so fucking beautiful." You moaned at the piquant sting, and you rubbed your clit more furiously as you felt yourself getting more soaked. You felt the familiar bubble forming in your abdomen ready to burst in seconds.

"Can I cum daddy, please?" You whined as you kept playing with your breast and fingers nudging the bud.

"Not yet babygirl, now insert two fingers inside that cunt."

You did as he said, and shoved two digits through your tight entrance and you moved them in and out as you felt your fingers getting drenched, the squelching sounds elevated the eroticism in the scene.

"Keep one hand on your sexy tits baby, yeah fuck that cunt for me."

As you shut your eyes once more, trying to focus on stroking the spot that pushes you to the edge every time, you heard the sound of him unzipping his pants, and he pulled down his boxer to his thighs, just enough to let his massive cock spring free.

His fingers circled around his shaft, pumping himself up and down, as he kept his sight fixated on you, watching every movement you make, the way your face contorted in pleasure and your brows furrowed, and euphonious sounds escaping your lips, it riled his cock more and more, getting it as hard and as stiff as a rock.

"Goddamnit, you're so fucking gorgeous." He grunted through his ragged breathing. "Think of my giant cock destroying that cunt, using you like the dirty little slut you are." His words caused shivers cascading your spine, as you envisioned being pinned underneath him with you ass up in the air and your face squeezed to the pillow.

You squirmed as your cries grew an octave higher, picturing his hands wrapped around your throat as he pounded into you vigorously from behind, not giving you any mercy or repose.

"Gonna fuck you until you're braindead until you can't do anything else but beg for my cock to make you cum like a whore." You picked up the pace, shoving your fingers relentlessly and thrashed around on the sheets.

You felt yourself clenching around your own digits, the tightening coil was seconds away into plummeting you into bliss. "Oh god, please, I'm so close daddy, please!" You pleaded through your ragged breathing as you arched your back.

"Beg louder, baby."

"I need to cum now, daddy! Please!" Your heart pounded against your ribcage, a common aftereffect from your sessions with Bucky.

"Attagirl. Cum for me babygirl, show me what a dirty little whore you are for me."

A few more vehement onslaughts and your abdomen convulsed. Your orgasm erupted, clouding your brain with euphoria, knocking the breath out of your lungs. Your body shook as your cries echoed on the walls of your room.

Bucky was still running his hand up and down, reaching his own impending climax. He felt his cock twitching and in a few more pumps, he shot out ribbons of his thick load all over his stomach. He growled as he envisioned painting your womb white with his seed, burying himself deep inside you until every last drop was stored.

He threw his head back and cussed in front of the camera. It was truly a magnificent sight. Man, Bucky knew what he signed up for in the first place and that every girl on this website would keep it strictly professional and online but, the number of times he’d fantasized about taking you on a date to a nice restaurant and then bring you home afterwards to fuck you against the bathroom wall or in front of the mirror all night long would easily give you a reason to kick him out or conclude any sexual engagements with him in the future. Bucky was too madly infatuated with you to risk it.

You were the only thing he looked forward to after a long, dull day at work. You had an edge around you that just pulled him in like a magnet, once he had a taste of you, he was addicted. And he hadn’t even physically tasted you yet. God, he could imagine just how sweet you would taste on his tongue. But you were also capable of being the ideal submissive that he desired. Those doe eyes looking at him through the lens and the way you’d bite your lip innocently, teasing him like the devil. It drove him nuts. And he only longed for more.

Bucky always thought that he wasn’t the type to settle down in a relationship but, if he were, you would exactly be the type of girl that could make him change his mind. Sometimes within the one-hour sessions that he had with you, he would tell you about his day and get all the tension of his chest to you and you would be an excellent listener, always paying attention to every word and never failed to making relieve him of the stress. Along the way, you both felt like you had known each other better than most people that you interacted with in real lives.

Was he catching feelings for you? No, no, no, for fuck’s sake, get it together, Barnes! She only saw you as another of her client!

The thought of you exposing every inch of your body to other men and women caused an extreme detestation in him and it was bugging the hell out of him.

“You did good, babygirl.”

“Thank you, daddy. Do you feel good?”

“Absolutely.” His smile was warm, a contrast to the one that would show when he was tormenting you.

“Do you wanna talk about your day, daddy?”

“Nothing new. Just another boring day at the job.”

“Well, at least mine is the complete opposite.” You winked at him.

He chuckled, amused by your witty remark. Then it was quiet for a few seconds.

“Babygirl, I’ve been thinking…”

“Yeah? What is that, daddy?”

“I know I agreed that we’d keep it strictly professional but, goddamnit, I can’t get you out of my mind for the last few months now. And you’re just… God, you’re fucking amazing. So I was wondering, would you like to meet up? I’ll take you on a nice date, and I’ll pick you up wherever you are.”

You were tongue-tied. You’d always thought that Bucky was never interested to see you in person. You always wondered about him, composing fiction in your head, every night before you drift into a deep slumber, based on all the data that he decided to share with you. You always imagined about kissing him, being on your knees for him as you wrapped your lips around his manhood, and using your body like a ragdoll. Because that’s the only place where you could touch him and feel him.

And now here he was, asking you if you were interested in meeting him in person and go on a date with him. You know that when you first applied for this job, you vowed to yourself that you’d keep it strictly professional and that you’d never let your feelings defeat your common sense. But those oaths were disrupted since the day this job introduced you to Bucky.

You couldn’t decide whether you were grateful or woeful for that.

But now you knew that it was the former. Because everything you had dreamt of for the last three months came true and you were bubbling with joy. You were ecstatic, like a girl who had just been asked by her crush to go to prom with him.

“Yes, yes daddy! I wanna go on a date with you.”

“You serious?” His expression was elated.

“Yes! I’d love to know you more, daddy.”

“Oh man, I should’ve been more prepared, so… How about you give me your number and text me your address later? This Saturday, 8 PM. Sounds good?”

“Yes, daddy. It does.”

“Alright. God, I can't fucking wait to see that beautiful face in person… Oh and by the way, you don’t have to call me daddy when we’re not getting each other off, baby. You can call me Bucky. I love to hear the sound of my name rolling off your tongue.”

“Okay, Bucky.”

You exchanged number before you ended the session and you instantly texted your address. What an odd coincidence it is that you both lived in New York. He worked at Wall Street and he reminded you that he was going to be at your front door at 8 PM this Saturday. You were jittery, anticipating for the weekend. You didn’t know if he was going to be as wonderful as he seemed to be in real life or if the date would lead to something more between you, but one thing that you knew for sure was that you certainly needed to shop for a new dress.

[yourdaddychan]

wow-

literally just wow- i genuinely have nothing to say about this please- i cannot explain how much this means to me- there's 1000 of us- *hugs all of you* [ especially the porn bots ] *turns into formal luna asf*

i remember when i started in may, just a tiny chatbot with only one mutual, only known to you guys as [ answer : admin ]. and now, almost a year later, i have 1k of my chainsaw eating demons who are metal as fuck 💪ive learned so much being on tumblr, as a part of both the skz writers community and the chatbot community. ive made a bunch of friends, lost a bunch of ones, and 1k of you stuck with me. i cannot begin to express my gratitude to all of you, and how much all of you and your interactions with me mean to me. all of the simping, the random stories, everything. i cherish all of it, and i love all of you. aight so letz get to the personal thanking asf

alsoer i kinda wanted to do something sexy so imma do what color they remind me of :D most of them can be found at this link : https://louisem.com/29880/color-thesaurus-infographic

@kvinly linn bb 🥺through all the drama we've been through and shit im so glad we ended up becoming friends again cause we're kinda sexy together 😉thank you so much for being my 1000th follower bb you mean so much to me and if anyone hurts you im about to *turns into jennie and kachows them* licherally lets nevah fight again

-> you remind me of the color punch , and not only because of the name- underneath that grr me edgy grr me bully you're just a softie simp and that reminds me of punch :D

@undeadbots steph 🥺lemme be your personal broken chopsticks pls :( KLDSKLD anywayz we've also gone through some sexy drama and thankfully you saw da light 😉and now look at us, with our own band, and our own producing line 🥺brohemian rhapsody for life bro 🥺 *big kithie for da best dad in da world :D*

-> you remind me of the color viridian , because it gives me confident vibes :D you carry yourself proudly and confidently as you should tbh go steph

@binniesthighs oh look its a cutie *pushes you to a mirror* right there :D RORORO YOUR BOAT :DD we havent talked too much, besides my simping for jisung- but you give me very sexy energy so imma propose rq *gets down on one knee* will you be the rororo to my boat 🥺thank you for being my moot :D

-> you remind me of the color espresso , because espresso looks like the color to be pretty chill and laid back, and you're all of those, and calming to be around

@toshis-flower BAYBEE BEBE BEEBEE :D thank you so much for being my moot and making me a wifey asf ‼️ you're literally so much like me whats not to love <3 JKSDJKD JKJK you're really sweet and really just a good person to rant to, i love you so so so much and i think im going to remarry you :D

-> you remind me of the color taffy , because you're sweet, cute, and bright :D *eats you* yummy

@lov3ric seyoung. i love you. so much. MY SOULMATEEEE :DD even though we tell the story over and over like a bunch of grandmas, ill still never forget how we became soulmates and then bonded over boba 🥺im licherally going to marry you one day like ez 💪also i wanna eat you can i eat you youre really cute *eats you*

-> you remind me of the color daffodil , because it reminds me of banana milk which reminds me of you tbh- buuuttt did you know that daffodils are one of the first flowers you see when spring starts? that definitely reminds me of you because through all of the cb drama, you've always been there with me, like literally always- i cannot express how much i love you *kithie*

@simpchimp LIDDLE CHEESE FUCKER THEMBO :DD drink water *spank* i love you so much you cutie 🥺you're also licherally the funniest person ever like stop bae i kinda need to be the funniest but noer its you 😔alsoer i love how random you are KDSKLD so nevah stop that because then *revz up arm* youre going to get luna-ified

-> you remind me of the color jam , because even though you seem kinda scary at first [ yes i was 100% scared of you ] you're really soft :D

@berrywoo the sun themself 💪you are easily the purest person ive met, and im so happy i somehow became moots with you :D you literally hit diff, yk? theres something about your personality and the way you act thats so comforting, and that means i eat you because youre too cute :D you cant just be a wholeass teacher for kids and expect not to get eaten kids are licherally demons whoever deals with them properly and treatz dem nicely gets a nom asf

-> you remind me of the color honey , because you're a sunshiney yellow, and you're sweet like honey :D i think you need to hear that its okay not to be okay bb, and you can come to my dms anytime you want to rant 😎

@yourchungha MS OG CHUNGHA MS IM KINDA SCARED OF THE SHIT YOU DO MS FURREH LOVER 101 MS ANNA BANANA :D yeah youre like really nice- thats all i have to say- like how tf do you deal with [ redacted ] like eggsplain- ALSO YOURE CARRYING OUR CONVERSATIONS BECAUSE IDK HOW TO TALK TO PEOPLE DKSJKD I LOVE YOU FOR THAT AND WE SHOULD HAVE LIKE ACTUAL CONVERSATIONS MORE OFTEN

-> you remind me of the color scarlet , because youre a sexy bitch tf and scarlet gives me 'idc what you think im hot' kinda vibes which is like exactly you

@satosimp WINTER DADDY :DD i lub you asf *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy* ugh the way your personality matches mine is kinda sexy or whatever im also kinda in love with you but lets ignore that part 🙄 💪 *big kithes* *eats your cats casually*

-> you remind me of the color lilac , because it just gives me tsundere vibes, you act like you dont care but really do care :D you liddle sawftie *noms your cheekie*

@nightshade-minho DUCKIE :DD *insert we dont talk anymore by charlie daddy pt 2* licherally bae where the fuck are you i miss you you bettah be doing well in school otherwise im going to smack you with a chappal asf DSJJKSD *eats your cat because hes such a cutie*

-> you remind me of the color marigold , because you're adorable and sunshiney :D

@onigirimeeya MICHIE MICHIE MICHIEIEEIEI MY DAD :DDD i like you mucho much if you didnt know *kithes you* you're like one awf da best listeners ever- which is such a weirdass compliment but its true- you're really good at listening, and just being a comforting presence in general, like when you go to the beach and youre just staring at the waves all edgy mode, and it calms you down a fuck ton

-> you remind me of the color mint , for obvious reasons- mint choco chip cookie michie :DD

@hhjs bae we dont talk a lot but im kinda lurking on all of your posts- JKDSJSKD bae remarry me please youre really fucking hot 😭and the way you have with words is like damn- teach me oppar asf

-> you remind me of the color wine , because you're refined, and carry yourself in a way that makes everyone want to be you. the color wine is rich and deep, which reminds me of the way you write :D

@nsfw-stay MY LICHERAL BABIE YOUVE BEEN AN ANON FOR SUCH A LONG TIME AND WEVE TALKED ABOUT SO MUCH SHIT TOGETHER [ a lot about seungmin and jisung but shhh ] I LOVE YOU SO MUCH BB AND I WILL NOM YOU >:( BUT SOFTLY AND OUT OF LOVE *nomz yew* :D

-> you remind me of the color cerulean , because its a baby blue and what fits better than a baby blue yk? you're adorable and squishy and i want to nom you 24/7

@secretary-yeji *iz chan ig cause we dont talk admin to admin* oh erm gee is uncle chrith 😉DKLSKLD my liddle koala :D my liddle burgah :D my liddle aussie :D my besth frien :DDD evah since may i think we've been friends, and i think one of the highlights of that day was me marking you as spam twice and on accident too- LKSDKLSD WE DONT TALK ABOUT THAT anywayz thank yew for being uncle chrith's friend *kith*

-> you remind me of the color seafoam , because it's a very soft and light color yk, you're delicate asf which sounds like a bad thing now that im typing it BUT IT ISNT DSKLDSLK YOURE VERY CUTE YOU AND YOUR FLOOFY COWS :D

@ayolistenupp im kinda... in love with you? wtf? KDSDKSL MY DESI DADDY ASF I LOVE YOU SOER MUCH :D our music nights™️ mean so much to me, like theres just something so personal about listening to what the other person likes to hear even though half of your songs are sexy asf KLDSKLD

-> you remind me of the color ocean , because the ocean is loud but calming yk- like you're full of energy but you're also calming :D

@yanderexchungha OH ERM GEE YEW :O YOU PROBABLY WONT SEE THIS IN LIKE 10 MONTHS BESTIE MERRY CHRISTMAS IG KLDSLKD anyway i love you dad your lessons about vape >>> to quote your drunk ass exactly "vape isnt cool" JKSDJ anyway its gonna be sexy if we accidentally run into each other in the hallwayz asf

-> you remind me of grey cause youre a hag- JKJK KDJSD you remind me of the color caramel , because you're sweet, and licherally addictive caramel isnt good for my braces but i keep eating it 😰but youre addictive in a good way :D

@yanderelee literally only doing this because you were moping about not having a simp sunday and im such a good person 🥸you're cool 💪and unfortunately, you're funny too 😥and even though i bully you asf dont take it personally because i dont mean it asf

-> you remind me of the color dijon mustard because you just give those hacker vibes please dont hack me after i said this i like to keep my location private

@kpopswitchbot BESTIE 😏MY FIRST MUTUAL 😏 LICHERALLY DA BEST CUTEST FUNNIEST SMARTEST SEXIEST KEWLEST I CANT EVEN EXPRESS WITH WORDS FISHIE IN DA WORLD :D LICHERALLY STOP OUTDOING ME WITH YOUR GOODNIGHTS LIKE *spankz yew* YOURE LITERALLY TOO GOOD WITH WORDS ITS NOT FAIR- AND THE DAY YOU JUST TALKED TO ME IN SHAKESPEAREAN BECAUSE I FELT DOWN- AND EXPRESSED YOUR LOVE THAT WAY LIKE- PLEASE I ACTUALLY ADORE YOU AND I WILL LITERALLY EAT YOU ONE DAY

-> you remind me of the color coffee , not only because youre addicted to it but also because of the way you act, you're like the definition of an old soul- with the words you use, the drama kid you are asf, etc- you're a talented bitch *mwah* i love you so much you also remind me of those movies where they find an old ass book and they kinda hafta dust it off and it gives you treasure or something cause yeah that reminds me meeting you

AIGHT DAS IT ASF MWAH I LOVE YOU ALL :DDD

[s11e17]

If you're down, I'd love to read something about Sam and Rowena from you! Maybe to do with Sam learning witchcraft, or Rowena after taking over Hell? Alternate prompt, Dean prays to Cas basically every day without thinking about it because he got into the habit in Purgatory.

i went WAY overboard with this djfghsdjsh sorry i just wrote it in one sitting no editing i hope u like!! i'm incapable of writing exactly what people want so i hops this is ok.... i went with the sam & rowena prompt (might follow up w the destiel prompt later!). note that there's more after the cut (it's about 1000 words so i didnt wanna just put the whole thing on people's dashes)

also WARNINGS for references to lucifer / cage-related trauma for sam / aftermath of possession

--

Sam taps his phone against the table a few times, considering. He shouldn’t. It’s gratuitous, the whole idea reeks of self-pity, but, well. If anyone could understand, it’s her.

“Samuel,” she purrs when she picks up, after making him wait through half a minute of ringing. “What do the Winchester boys want with me now?”

“No, it’s—” Sam huffs. He looks at the notes in front of him. “I’m, uh. I’m thinking about— thinking about— I could use some feedback, on a— on a spell.”

“A spell?” He hears her laugh, imagines her smile as she lounges back against her throne. “Now, Sam, that’s the sort of thing witches do. Not that I’m judging, mind— I just remember your brother seems to have a bit of a— oh, well, you know.”

“S’just somethin’ small,” Sam says. He clears his throat, and adds, “I’ve been working with the— I found something in your notebook. The section on, uh, locks.”

“Locks.”

“For— to lock up, a, a— a body.”

There’s a silence. Rowena asks, softly, “Do you have a body that needs to be locked up, Sam?”

“Yeah—” Sam swallows as his voice cracks. He tries again: “Yes. I could— I could use your help.”

“Well.” He hears her sigh, and then say, “Come on down, then.”

---

Hell is an absurd place. Every time he goes down it’s different— this time, Rowena has it set up like an elaborate military tent, two demons in what is clearly military fetish gear standing guard outside. He pushes past them and gets to Rowena, on a divan, with a wide empty table in front of her.

“Rowena,” Sam says, awkwardly. He’s not really sure if she tolerates him ‘cause he’s eye-candy or what, but he thinks he should’ve maybe dressed nicer than his usual.

She doesn’t seem to care, though. “Sit,” she says, and when he looks to his left, there’s a chair, just his height. When he sits at the table his knees don’t knock up against the underside of it.

“Show me your work,” she says, and Sam spreads his sheets out on the table. She studies them quietly, nodding, as Sam waits for her judgment.

When she gets to the mark, she pauses. “Where do you want it?” she asks. She looks up at him and says, “You’ll need— this is strong work, Sam. You’ll need to cut it off when you die if you want your soul to leave.”

“Problem for later,” Sam says. He stands up, hitches up his shirt so his belly’s exposed, which goes against every instinct he has. Hell isn’t a safe place for this— for his body. Everything here is both literal and metaphor, all at once — as much as a piece of flannel doesn’t matter to black smoke, he knows his vulnerability is real. It’s why Lucifer-in-Cas chose his stomach as the place to take his soul out of him. Here is where your mother’s umbilical cord nourished you; here’s where I’ll push in and take.

Rowena stands up, too, and sets her hand against Sam’s left side, hand hot against his skin. He’s been— he realizes, suddenly, that it’s been a long time since he’s been touched there.

“There’s a risk, you understand,” Rowena says gravely. “A risk to these sorts of things. A lock can be unlocked, if you have the right key, but breaking it— if someone forces it—” Her mouth trembles, and she says, “It would hurt more, Sam, than just letting them come in.”

It’s the first time either of them has mentioned the reason for this. They both know it, of course: Lucifer lives in Rowena’s throat just the same way he lives in Sam’s. They’ve both seen his face.

“I’m hoping it’ll kill me,” Sam admits. Rowena doesn’t flinch — Dean would’ve. “If he— if anyone— I want—” He puts his hand over hers, over his belly, and closes his eyes, and says, “I just want— I can’t have anything else in me again.”

“I understand.” Rowena steps back, releases him, and picks up the sheet. Sam watches her exhale as she rights herself, stands up tall. “It’s good, Sam,” she says, and Sam curls his mouth up, feels a hint of pride. “It’s good work.”

“Thanks.”

She curls her hand into a fist. “No one will ever possess you again, Sam Winchester,” she declares fiercely, and Sam’s breath shudders out of him, something unreal inside of him. Like he’s— as if he’d been in pain for ten years and is finally free, or as if he’s in a hot tub, or even— his dick twitches but he can’t tell if it’s sexual or just pure sensation. Her fingers twist and he feels the sharp sensation of lines carving into his skin, almost satisfying, like a scab being peeled.

She begins chanting, and Sam sets his hand against the chair, the one that was just the right size for him, to hold himself up. At the end of it — when the mark is on him, the lock, this thing that will keep him himself to the end of his natural life — she asks him: “Whose body is this, Samuel?”

“Mine,” he grits out, his palms sparks of feeling against the chair. He clears his throat, and looks at his belly, and looks up at Rowena. “This body belongs to me.”

She grins at him, and relaxes her hand, and the carving fades into his skin. “Yes,” she says. “That’s my boy.”

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Amelia

Jac: Are you okay? My parents would've paid for a cab if they weren't sober enough to drive you back Amelia: My dad was [somewhere nearby cos JJ live in town] Jac: Oh, right Jac: you seized your opportunity then, alright Jac: Is still should've gone with to make sure Amelia: I didn't want her to, she was in too excitable a mood Jac: lol, can't really fault you that Jac: you got a headache, yeah? Amelia: I got the aura so I knew it was time to leave, last time I ignored that I was sick everywhere Jac: That's fair Jac: you do not want that unless you've had a really wild night Amelia: sorry I didn't say bye Jac: well that's okay, if you didn't have time Jac: we were just worried Amelia: is Is okay? I was probably a bit rude to her Jac: Don't worry, she seems fine Jac: you know her Amelia: yeah Amelia: alright cool Jac: make sure you stay hydrated, yeah Jac: and no more screentime Amelia: I'll 😴 it off if I can Jac: Sounds like a plan 🙂 Amelia: it sounds 😕 but I couldn't stay Jac: you can't help that you get migraines Jac: it must be so crap for you Amelia: we've all got crap to deal with Amelia: I wouldn't swap Sav for hers Jac: 😢 I know Jac: she deals so well, considering how fresh it all is Amelia: Where's her boyfriend at? It's not technically a night you can get away with chucking fireworks at your mates or cars Jac: Out on the lash with his mates Jac: or something Amelia: very supportive Jac: yeah, I know Jac: oh well, she had us Amelia: you, you mean Jac: are you not her friend too? Amelia: that's up for debate, but she'd win it over me Amelia: so it probably depends what she wants the answer to be Amelia: and who's asking Jac: She definitely views you as a friend Amelia: okay Jac: No, come on, you don't think she does? Amelia: I know she doesn't Jac: Why do you think that? Amelia: I know it because she's said a handful of words to me lately & all of them are in some way bitchy or patronising Jac: How many have you said to her? Jac: and how nice have you been to her? Amelia: I don't like her, I'm not going to act like I do Jac: Then the issue is a you thing, isn't it Jac: Savannah does like you, and it's not really on to say you know otherwise, simply because that's how you feel about her Amelia: no, it's a me and her clash Amelia: it isn't one-sided Jac: Okay, if you say so Jac: but I don't see her trying to start anything with you, and like I said, I've told you she's told me privately that she likes you Jac: she knows you aren't her biggest fan though Amelia: she would say that to you Jac: Now you're being ridiculous Amelia: no I'm not, she wants me to look like I'm the dickhead and it's clearly working Jac: well no, what she wants is friends who can support her through this tough time and not make her life any more shit Jac: I really do not think she has the time, never mind the desire, to play games to make you look like some kind of villain ??? Jac: we seriously do not need to be that dramatic about things Amelia: fine Jac: it clearly isn't but I'm not going to agree with you Jac: you're not feeling well right now, you're just lashing out Amelia: you sound as patronising as her now Jac: for giving you an excuse for your behaviour? Jac: it's being gracious Amelia: I don't need to be fucking excused Amelia: I haven't done anything wrong Jac: You're being rude to Savannah and now you're being rude to me Jac: you're attacking and saying you're being attacked Jac: just calm down and we can come back to this when you aren't in such a state Amelia: yeah because she's the only one whose dramatics you indulge Amelia: I haven't been rude to her, I've made an effort Amelia: it doesn't change my opinion Jac: You're accusing her of having some plot right now, also of not liking you, being bitchy and patronising...yeah, that's rude, Amelia Jac: and oddly enough, when she went off crying, it was not about you Jac: call it dramatics if you want, but I'd say her home life situation warrants more empathy and listening to than whatever this idea, about us being against you or something, that you've concocted does Amelia: I'm not on her radar when she isn't subtly slagging me off or wishing I'd fuck off, obviously it wasn't about me Amelia: the latter is way less subtle though Jac: You're right in that I'm not indulging this Jac: you're just wrong, that's it Jac: but if you won't listen to reason, and me, then there's nothing else I can do to change your mind Amelia: you wanting me to be wrong doesn't make me wrong Jac: you having no proof for her dislking you, bar the fact you dislike her, doesn't make it true Jac: if you want to walk around thinking people have a problem with you when they don't, that's your call Jac: it's sad but it's clearly an internal issue Amelia: there's proof in every group chat if you want to go back & read it Jac: the fact you're in a group chat together, to plan to do stuff, to talk, kinda negates that Amelia: no it doesn't Jac: totally, when you hate someone and want them to fuck off, you choose to spend time talking to them when you don't have to Amelia: she doesn't spend any time talking to me Jac: well it isn't a private chat Jac: do you expect her to ignore me and Is? Jac: if you wanna have a 1x1 she'd be more than happy, like Amelia: Oh, she ignores Is plenty Amelia: but that's not my fight to have Jac: 🙄 I can assure you, we understand how DMs work Jac: if we wanted to talk just us, we would, and do Jac: and Is seems fine to me, like I said Amelia: great Jac: 🤷 okay then Amelia: 👋 Jac: I hope you feel better when you wake up Amelia: thanks Jac: Night Amelia: goodnight Jac: [hope you do go to sleep so you don't see those gay ass stories] Amelia: [you know she will because she's not actually sick soz gal] Jac: [i mean, you do have 24 hours so bit of a long shot when you're this in love lol] Amelia: [everyone gonna be seeing it including Ty who has been lowkey ignored all night as well] Amelia: [we should say she writes something but then deletes it so Jac only knows she deleted it for the sheer gay drama of it] Jac: [none of y'all got invites to this sleepover, but yes 1000%] Jac: ? Amelia: 🤨 Jac: butt-dial? Amelia: why would I be sitting on my phone? Amelia: I'm not thrashing about with a 🤒 Jac: I don't know why you'd delete a message either Jac: unless you sent me something really 💦 meant for someone else, in which case I wanna know anyway Amelia: I can nurse myself Amelia: though there are loads of lads who would put me to sleep Jac: 🙀 Amelia! Amelia: no Amelia: 🥱 NOT whatever you're thinking Jac: Sure 😉😂 Amelia: 😣 Jac: So grouchy Jac: I'd know if you were texting someone Amelia: would you? Jac: of course Jac: what secret have you ever kept from me? Amelia: I didn't need to before Jac: you don't need to now Jac: you aren't going to shock me with your thirst Amelia: I'm staying hydrated like you instructed Amelia: there's nothing to tell, which is why I pressed delete Jac: What did you say? Amelia: if I repeat it there was literally no point in deleting it Amelia: so no, nothing Jac: Well why did you? Amelia: because it's 😳 Jac: how 😳 can it be Jac: we've known each other at our most cringe Amelia: that was us both being awkward not just me making a massive tit of myself Jac: rude Jac: you're meant to disagree Amelia: alright, I'll lie Jac: you're already being very sneaky, you may as well Amelia: okay Jac: no, tell me, dickhead! Amelia: rude Jac: you're rude Jac: you know you can't just take back a message Amelia: I have & I win Jac: you can't do it without leaving evidence Jac: and I'm not just going to drop it Amelia: 🙄 Jac: why are you saying shit to my virtual face then Amelia: how else am I supposed to speak to you? Jac: I'm not going to apparate into your room 'cos you fancy having a go Jac: don't be a baby, what did you say Amelia: maybe I was saying sorry but you're so undeserving I took it back Amelia: that'd be fitting Jac: oh right, your whole conspiracy theory Jac: you forgot for a hot sec you believed in that, yeah, sure Amelia: it's typical of you to only give a shit about what I'm trying to say when I'm not saying it anymore Jac: you left without saying anything earlier Jac: then you wouldn't speak to me 'cos you were in a huff but yeah, pop off Amelia: I didn't have time to search your 🏠 for you earlier Jac: and I said it was okay but don't act like I was ignoring you Amelia: you were Amelia: but I get it, Savannah's in greater need Jac: oh my God, do you actually get it though Jac: like could you Jac: because this is really gross Amelia: of course I do, her parents are mental and it's horrible Jac: I mean, nicely put Jac: so you don't need to be snippy with me about needing to spend like 10 minutes alone so she can talk about it without my whole family standing around Amelia: I was the one who told you, ages ago, so you already know what I mean Amelia: and I'm not, I'm explaining why I left without saying anything before you hold it against me any harder Jac: you aren't just explaining though, because that was never the question Jac: you said I was ignoring YOU Jac: I said it was fine you left, you had a migraine Amelia: because it's not just about 10 minutes alone so she can cry on your shoulder and you fucking know it's not Jac: you don't like her Amelia: she takes over everything, including my birthday Jac: She was just trying to make sure you had a nice time Amelia: then why didn't I? Amelia: if she really cares so much about what I want, why wasn't it perfect? Jac: She's not a miracle worker Jac: I'm just saying she tried, can you fault someone for having good intentions? Amelia: she cares about you two having a good time, she doesn't try with me Amelia: because guess what, chucking money at something doesn't actually count Amelia: you used to know that Jac: you can't say how much she does or doesn't try Jac: maybe she's really trying, and I happen to think she is, and I've got it on better authority than you Jac: as you said, it's not as if she's had close friends before really Jac: you could give her a break instead of being ungrateful about it Amelia: you could give me a break Jac: no, you're being mean Jac: and blaming her for problems you're having Jac: like how dare she treat you? Amelia: the problem is that you used to care how I feel about things and apparently now you don't Jac: I can care without indulging pointless bitchery Jac: if you told me what was actually wrong with you, I'd listen, I'd do whatever I could to help, you know that Amelia: no, you're not listening Jac: You aren't saying anything Jac: you keep slagging Savannah off, and I counter that and then you stop Jac: what is actually going on Amelia: I've been saying the same thing this entire time, for fuck's sake Jac: When you wanna say what's actually going on with you, and think about that in a way that doesn't involve Savannah Jac: then I'm here waiting Amelia: I don't want to spend time with her, I want to spend it with you Amelia: Why can't we literally EVER? Why does she have to be involved in literally everything? Jac: We do spend time without her Jac: but we can't exclude her when she wants to be involved, she's our friend Amelia: she's not my friend Amelia: I'm trying, I am Jac: okay, she's my friend though Jac: we can spend time together, alright Amelia: okay Jac: pick a day, pick something to do, let me know Amelia: sure, put me on the spot Jac: 🙄 god, not RIGHT now Jac: but give me something more committal than that 'okay' or it won't happen Amelia: okay!! Amelia: are you happy now? Amelia: I just said how much I miss you Jac: like I'm that desperate for attention, again, rude Amelia: clearly not if I have to be the one begging you for yours Jac: oh hush Jac: I invited you to something like, literally 5 seconds ago Jac: you were the one that ruined it with your 🤕 Amelia: I didn't mean to ruin anything Jac: I'm joking Jac: I'll survive Amelia: I'm serious Amelia: and sorry, obviously Jac: it's fine, actually fine Jac: you shouldn't worry about it Amelia: if you want me to try harder, I'll try harder, alright Jac: I'd appreciate it Jac: I think she would too, and you Jac: getting along would just be easier Jac: you don't have to be like, her own personally cheerleader Amelia: I can't work miracles either Jac: you said you'd try Jac: I don't know why it's so hard for you but I can't really ask more than that Amelia: you really don't get it? Jac: No, I really don't Amelia: okay Jac: I'll leave you to it Amelia: bye again Jac: You have planning to do Amelia: you love a competition Amelia: what happens if I lose? Jac: What competition? Jac: I'm not planning anything Amelia: so it's a test instead Amelia: it's the same question Jac: we can still hang out, as you asked Jac: I'll just be bored if you pick something boring, I suppose Amelia: when have I EVER picked anything boring? Jac: 🤷 Jac: we'll see Amelia: don't 🤷 at me Amelia: you've never been bored Jac: you're so touchy 😂 Jac: I can't do anything Friday, by the way, so don't pick Friday Amelia: do you want to assign me a day? Jac: Probably Sunday Jac: I'm working after school every other day Jac: Saturday is up in the air right now Amelia: alright Jac: free time is just not a thing I have Amelia: I know, I'm not touchy about that bit Jac: I'm not going to sit here and tell you you're not boring, Amelia Jac: what kind of midlife crisis Amelia: Shut up, I don't need that from you Amelia: I'm well aware Jac: 👉😠 Amelia: you don't need to teach me sign language either Jac: you're gonna side with the 12 year old asshole on that, are you Jac: yeah that's about right mentality wise 🙄 Amelia: according to you there aren't any sides, we're all friends and everything is 🌹y Amelia: so no Jac: Jude isn't our friend, she's my sister and she's a little bitch sometimes Amelia: yeah, again, I know Amelia: Savannah's the one who needs family introductions Jac: She knows who everyone is Jac: you're being so whiny, it's just annoying now Amelia: leave me to it then, that's what you said you were going to do Jac: Yeah, and I definitely will now Jac: christ, is it any wonder I'm not electing to spend time with just you Jac: think about it Amelia: It's already all I think about Amelia: I don't want to fight with you Jac: it's not hard, Amelia Jac: as I said, Savannah doesn't devote her time to bitching about you, or anyone else Jac: nor does she walk around with a massive strop on all the time Amelia: I'm sorry Amelia: what do you want me to say? Jac: Just stop acting like this Amelia: I'm not acting like anything, that's the problem Amelia: it's how I feel Jac: You're gonna have to sort it out Jac: it's not healthy for you Jac: or good for us or anyone else Amelia: I said I'll try Jac: you've got to Jac: it's for your own best interest Amelia: yeah Jac: yeah Amelia: 👋

[punkscowardschampions]

Jimmy & Janis

Jimmy: [okay so we said that JJ have gone to get the PE shit and are casually having a 🚬 and the teacher is like go see what the hold up is and Ella volunteers cos 1000% that bitch and she of course starts a vague rumour about them being saucy with it] Janis: are the boys saying shit Jimmy: what kind of question's that? Janis: fuck's sake Janis: right, how do you wanna deal from your end Janis: 'cos you can say shit or you can slag me off like you'd never, either way, your move, new boy Jimmy: how do you want me to? Jimmy: I could give a shit what gets said about me Janis: alright, just say nothing then Janis: I'll deck her Jimmy: 👍 Janis: hardly Jimmy: nowt close to a challenge my end Jimmy: and it ain't like you'll have one flooring her Janis: still can't get her to take it back Janis: have to force feed her or some shit for that Jimmy: and what? you've got a missus waiting at home that'll be 💔 you were at it with someone else in the sport's cupboard? Janis: Fuck off Janis: if I've got to explain sexism to you then cba Janis: no one's chatting shit on your name like they are mine Jimmy: I bet lasses are, 'cause I shouldn't have touched you with a barge pole or some bollocks Jimmy: hang on, I'll check Jimmy: [DMs] Janis: and what? Janis: I didn't start it, take it up with Blondie Jimmy: I don't care what any dickhead in this shithole reckons, it's your problem if you do Jimmy: that's what Janis: Don't need your groundbreaking hot take to know that, tah Jimmy: stop whinging at me then, tah Janis: I ain't, do one Janis: I was checking you weren't making it worse for me, that's it Jimmy: job done Jimmy: and there'll be a new #scandal tomorrow so no need to check in with me again Janis: you reckon, new boy? Janis: you'll be lucky if another kid joins before you leave yourself Jimmy: I'll be leaving myself soon as Jimmy: you'll be lucky if it ain't you and 👑💀 stuck doing the project Janis: mistaking me for the bitch that cares about her A Jimmy: nah, I weren't Jimmy: the 😎 ain't prescription Janis: i'd get her to spread that it is Janis: don't wanna shout about how that look is a choice Jimmy: you ain't that bad that I feel the need, looks wise at least Janis: great Jimmy: any road, my brother's deaf, if I start spreading that shit about they'll be asking my sister if she's got a fake leg or some bollocks Jimmy: be a bit rude to her Janis: I'm not gonna chat shit on your unfortunate genetics, don't worry Janis: can't rival mine anyway Jimmy: @iantaylor8 if you wanna have a go Janis: unless he has his own law firm, I'm not bothered Jimmy: 💔 for him Janis: obviously, we had a great time amongst the unwashed bibs and muddy footballs Jimmy: surprised she could get the door open Jimmy: 💀💪 Janis: got that burst of adrenaline knowing she'd get extra treats from her master for it Janis: could've been in there alone, obviously helps other people give more of a fuck that it was you Jimmy: 🙄 Janis: so yeah, it is your fault, cheers Jimmy: didn't send myself or force you to have that 🚬 off me, mate Janis: not my go-to defense story Janis: crying rape might seem kinda cute but I'm alright Jimmy: funny Jimmy: you ain't that cute I NEED to fuck you mid P.E Janis: oh no Janis: let me go cry into the nearest 🏀 Jimmy: the mats would be a better shout, they've managed all that 💦 Janis: oh yeah, bring up the mats Janis: not heard enough about what a romantic setting they are Jimmy: soz, next time I'll assault you in the 🚽 Janis: even better Janis: I'll just stay in there and set up shop Jimmy: 💕 Janis: should've picked an option with a racket Jimmy: 🎻🎻 Janis: work too, fair heft behind that Jimmy: bit of class an' all Jimmy: rich girl won't have nowt to whinge about Janis: 'cos I've proved well classy Jimmy: will do with a full orchestra behind your rampage Janis: I'll find a music nerd in these DMs Jimmy: 🥇💡 Janis: beats Mia suing me 'cos I killed her girlfriend Jimmy: another'd spawn from Mia's rib or some bollocks Jimmy: she'd be alright Jimmy: if she don't regurgitate one like a 🐍 jaw unhinged Janis: 🐑 don't baa on the way out, new boy Janis: ask my sister Jimmy: You're alright, I'd rather not talk to her Janis: wow Janis: same Jimmy: 😱😱😱 OMG Jimmy: no wonder every dickhead thinks we're love's young dream Janis: yeah, she's SUCH a delight, everyone else 💘s her Jimmy: obvs Janis: you're new, so I'll let you off for not being up enough on the gossip this once Jimmy: tah Jimmy: so generous, you Janis: apparently so Jimmy: go on, what do you want me to do Janis: ? Jimmy: you're that 💔 Janis: you can't do fuck all Janis: even if I were Jimmy: Why can't I? Janis: what's to do Janis: they chat shit 'cos they got none of their own Janis: none as interesting as what they wanna gob off about anyway Jimmy: I dunno, that's why I asked Jimmy: but alright Janis: just forget about it 'til they do, like you said Jimmy: nowt to bother remembering Janis: not a diss, just factual so Janis: yeah Jimmy: bet Ella counts her 🚬 Janis: easier habit to hide when you have to brush your teeth at least ten times a day Jimmy: got something else to blame when they go yellow and fall out an' all Janis: set of falsies is the way to go Janis: off and on again whenever you need to purge Janis: I'll float it Jimmy: shame she don't do lads Jimmy: that's a kink right there Janis: she definitely does Janis: that's why this is bullshit Janis: does whatever 💀👑 needs her to Jimmy: I'll live without hearing about them threesomes Janis: grim Jimmy: they still ain't welcome up north Janis: 💔 how will they cope Jimmy: idk idc obvs babes Janis: 🤮🤮🤮 Jimmy: go ahead and spread that about as your official ™ reaction to my 😘 Janis: no one cares if you were good, new boy Jimmy: bollocks Jimmy: that'll be why my inbox is full Janis: your inbox is full because a. people think you're good as is b. they wanna know if I am Jimmy: if they reckon I'm good they care enough to have thought about it Janis: alright, they're well concerned Janis: if you need 'em to be Jimmy: piss off Jimmy: you ain't concerned about what I do or don't need Janis: nah, I'm not Janis: just a weird hill to live and die on Jimmy: would be if it were the one I were on Janis: 👍 Janis: just saying, no one is concerning themselves if I had a good time or not Jimmy: I heard you Janis: alright Jimmy: in a bit then Janis: later Janis: [actually later, like a lesson or so whatever] Janis: do you know George Daley? Jimmy: Why? Janis: 'cos I wanna know if he's telling the truth or not Jimmy: about what? Janis: apparently you told him loads of extra details he was loudly telling his mates Jimmy: leave it out Jimmy: new boy, remember Janis: he's not also saying you're best friends Jimmy: I'm saying I've said nowt Jimmy: piss off Janis: okay Janis: you're marginally more plausible than him so take your word Jimmy: I'll take my 🏆 soon as you've engraved it Janis: don't get ahead of yourself Janis: either your imagination is lacking or it's his Janis: and I know you're WELL artistic so Jimmy: alright, stop flirting with me Janis: how many more girls need to tell you that's disgusting Jimmy: how many lasses are in this school? Janis: ha Janis: know they don't do royalty in the north, even they ain't that thick Janis: come up with a new bit probably Jimmy: 👌 Janis: send you his socials if you wanna smack him down Jimmy: go on then Janis: [does] Janis: he's the least attractive one in the groupshot, go figure Jimmy: the 🦐 looking twat? Jimmy: alright Janis: 😂 Janis: good shout Janis: fits with your fish kink Jimmy: What lesson you in? Janis: Physics Jimmy: that's [a classroom/ lab number situ, don't get lost boy] ? Janis: next one along Jimmy: 👍 Jimmy: [shows up and decks this boy so that all kicks off] Janis: [dramaaaaaaa] Jimmy: [enjoy the show bitches] Janis: [what are you gonna make of that, ladies, when it looks like you're defending her honour instead of your own] Jimmy: [when you lowkey are though, we see you boy] Janis: [we all do, not her though so it's fine] Jimmy: [literally been here no time Jimothy, casual crush at first sight okay then] Janis: [we know you're both hot no hiding from that] Janis: how much trouble you get in? Jimmy: You've been here longer than me, have a guess Janis: 🤔🤔 Janis: depends how much of a good mood the head was in 🥴 Jimmy: ☕ were half full Jimmy: might be 🥃🥃 or 🥃🥃🥃 depending on his measures Janis: either way, bet you have to write him an apology Janis: always make you do that Jimmy: [shows her his 🦐 doodles all over said apology] Jimmy: ✔ Janis: 😏 sincere Jimmy: Am I supposed to invite him out for a 🦐🍛 or what? Janis: no Janis: he'll 😢 and with his eye how it is now, might explode from the pressure Jimmy: can either handle a #ladsnightout or you can't Janis: poor shrimpy Janis: he looks better for the swelling, honestly Jimmy: might write me a thank you note Jimmy: been after a pen pal Jimmy: 💕 Janis: figures Jimmy: ? Janis: artistic Janis: prefer 🖋 over 🗣 Jimmy: nah, just northern Jimmy: can barely write and I need the practice Janis: tell the head that, she can tell her bosses, and they'll get you out of detention Jimmy: 👍 Janis: success story ⭐ Jimmy: my dad will be dead proud Janis: buzzing Jimmy: what am I missing then? Janis: a sense of purpose? Janis: your keys? Janis: what? Jimmy: what 🗨 dickhead Janis: oh, what shrimpdick said? Janis: just more bollocks than I'd heard already Janis: if it were bad before, it's 💘 now Jimmy: you could've said 💀👑 were in there Janis: how was I supposed to know you'd show up Jimmy: what did you think I were gonna do? Janis: well, see him after school sounds a bit gay but Janis: not barge in to a lesson, obviously Jimmy: yeah I asked you for directions I weren't gonna use Janis: I thought you were bullshitting Jimmy: you're alright, there's nobody about to see me 😭 Janis: probably work in our favour once everyone else calms down Janis: reckons we're both gay so Janis: let her do the work with the 🗨 Jimmy: what were it you said? buzzing Jimmy: that'll be me Janis: 👍 Janis: you didn't get in proper shit, did you Jimmy: What's proper shit? Janis: like excluded level Janis: anything below that, not saying sorry for your 😭 Jimmy: weren't after a sorry off you any road Janis: 💔 Jimmy: and I never hit him that hard Janis: I know Janis: but he's being a right tart about it Janis: make more sense if he was good looking to start with Jimmy: 🦐💔 Jimmy: you a vegetarian or what? Janis: hilarious 🙄 Jimmy: 🤡 me Jimmy: it were you who said it Janis: 'cos my taste borders outside aquatic, I'm gay now, alright Jimmy: nowt to do with me Jimmy: literally Janis: you asked Jimmy: nah Janis: you just curious about my dietary needs Jimmy: if that's a crime, give Mia's dad a bell Janis: 🤞💘 Janis: they're well pissed off rn, nothing else Jimmy: sod catholic school, don't even need it Jimmy: about to get into heaven off the back of that Janis: told 'em it weren't me that was getting #saved Jimmy: you wanna piss 'em off a bit more? Janis: obviously? Jimmy: Alright, what would? Jimmy: I'm here, you're there and we're 💕 Janis: you said no one's about? Jimmy: I did do Janis: a teachers showed? Jimmy: nah but that means they could in a bit Janis: fuck it Janis: hang on then Jimmy: 🤞💘 Janis: [ask for a pissbreak, go to whatever room this is and take a #goals selfie for the first time] Jimmy: [love that because it makes the fake dating less out of the blue as a request so well done lads] Janis: [you're welcome] Janis: get more ❤s than her she'll 💥 Jimmy: I'd say challenge accepted but it ain't one Janis: 🥺 when your boyfriend isn't as fit as you thought Jimmy: if you're doing that face since you've been back, you'll really sell the starcrossed lovers angle Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: 😒 translate just as well Jimmy: I get it, there's no oscar in your future Janis: fuck off Janis: it ain't hard Jimmy: couldn't hack the proposition of being in my ad, you Janis: that's different Janis: besides, tell me it won't be funnier to make her do it Jimmy: might be for the first 10 takes Janis: she gets to roleplay with daddy to rehearse she'll be 🏆 Jimmy: SUCH a romantic, you Janis: just want her to be happy, like Jimmy: fuck her, I'm giving you the 🏆 Janis: #blessed Jimmy: that's me, obvs Janis: no, you're #saved Janis: don't hog them all Jimmy: one #'s worth fuck all Jimmy: every dickhead knows you need to flood it Jimmy: bit biblical an' all, that Janis: you get sent her to get turned? Janis: hardcore conversion therapy Janis: here* Jimmy: not gay, just fit and mysterious Janis: 👌 Jimmy: gone right off 🐙🦑🦐🦞🦀🐡🐠🐟 but I don't reckon we can call that hardcore Jimmy: or much of a turn Janis: aren't supposed to eat shellfish actually, so God should be made up Jimmy: success story ⭐ Jimmy: like you said Janis: can go back to where you came from now Janis: in the nicest, non-racist way possible Jimmy: 🤞 Janis: 🙏* Jimmy: tah my dear Janis: not 👠👠 but you get what you pay for Jimmy: ain't my fault the tip jar's got nowt in Jimmy: @💀👑 Janis: I remember Jimmy: she ain't changed her ways or owt recently, funny that Janis: she needs the #bornagain Janis: thank fuck she ain't got a dog Jimmy: Oi, what's El if not a service 🐕? Janis: she walks herself enough though Jimmy: she does do laps round the table before she gets her ☕ Janis: not surprised Janis: beyond surprised she can still manage it without the heart attack, obvs Jimmy: 🙏* Janis: deal with the 😈 Janis: gotcha Jimmy: if you can say fuck it today, why not, like? Janis: decent tagline Janis: I'll put it on the site Jimmy: good shout Jimmy: I were gonna say if you need 📸 for it, give me a shout an' all Janis: like IOU one 💘 selfie? Jimmy: sir ain't getting my nudes that easy Janis: gutted Jimmy: 🎻💔😭 Jimmy: call it another deal with the 😈 if you want, mate, but I were being serious Jimmy: bagsied the 🎨 ages ago Janis: alright Jimmy: alright Janis: was thinking, how do we piss her off more with this project Janis: without it being dead obvious that that's what we're doing Jimmy: Depends Janis: on? Jimmy: do you mean us or the #content? Janis: both Jimmy: what thoughts did you have? Janis: well, obviously we can't put in anything that she can run to sir with Janis: but, like the ad, you can edit it to be like one of those no win no fee things like you said Janis: shit like that Jimmy: Do you know what her dad actually looks like? Janis: hold on Janis: [finds his linkedin or whatever 'cos that bitch] Jimmy: 🥇 Janis: you reckon we could use his shit Janis: he has a website as well, can take bits of that as #inspiration Jimmy: few edits so it ain't LITERALLY his, bit of a parody, OMG she'll be fuming Janis: right, that's the VIBE Janis: could use his face but distort it, shadow it, put a bag over Janis: you know she'd know still Jimmy: I've been pissing about with hers an' all Jimmy: [shows her what he's been up to because he didn't have her father's deets] Janis: that's good Janis: on the same page on this one Janis: make 'em victims of medical negligence or something Janis: botched hair transplant Jimmy: 😏 Jimmy: dickheads sometimes put a 👍 review of their website, happy clients that sort of bollocks Janis: right Janis: and if we make her the lawyer she wants to be Janis: can't really complain Jimmy: she can't but not to sir Jimmy: can* Janis: that's all I care about Janis: she ain't gonna stop COMING for me 😭 Jimmy: or her man for me 😱😱 Janis: soz I don't know what classes he takes so you can smack him and all Jimmy: he'll find me, unless they're both all mouth Janis: 🤷 Jimmy: *🤞 Janis: least the muscles are purely for show Jimmy: 💪🏆 me Janis: mhmm Jimmy: so complimentary, you Jimmy: I get why your inbox is full Janis: don't need to be Janis: I'm the 🏆 Jimmy: I'm taking back the one I gave you a bit ago for generosity or whatever bollocks it were Janis: I'll survive, mate Jimmy: 👌 dry your eyes and crack on Janis: enjoy your DMs Jimmy: Oi I'm illiterate remember, and there's no need to rub it in, Janet Janis: there'll be lots of pictures for you, no doubt Janis: get the gist real easy Jimmy: 🤤🤤😍😍 Jimmy: might be right about me being saved Janis: 😷 GROSS Jimmy: we'll both live Jimmy: 💔🎻 Janis: real tragedy that Jimmy: give it a few years to get on the English curriculum Janis: not that you'll ever know Jimmy: might still be trying to pass it Janis: awh Jimmy: *🤷 Janis: i'm well concerned about your education Jimmy: HANG ON, is this NERD FLIRTING?!! 💕🤓 Jimmy: I'd heard loads about it Janis: have to see what 💀👑 reckons Jimmy: I'll @ her Janis: she'll love that Jimmy: [does obviously and sends her whatever response] Janis: good to know she's SO on board with this 💘 Janis: have to keep it up if she's gonna be so 😭 😤 Jimmy: if she can't have us, next best, obvs Janis: now she knows how poor Ella feels Jimmy: what the fuck is going on there? Janis: if she ain't in love with her idk Janis: she don't need her to buy her shit Jimmy: I'll have to @ her an' all Janis: fill your boots sherlock Janis: 🤞 it's a death cult naturally, so they take my sister with 'em Jimmy: sounds like a bit of me, that Jimmy: gutted I pissed off their leader Janis: well, you want a new 👜 she'll take you in and make you pay with  🩸🥵😭 Jimmy: if it can start a gay teletubby scandal, might do something for me Janis: better rep than 💫💘 Janis: probably Jimmy: what ain't? Janis: cheer Janis: s Janis: not the only one with an inbox full of hilarious 'better' offers Jimmy: you wanna go from 😍😍 to 💀💀💀 in 3 days that's your shout Jimmy: be a record around here at any rate Janis: I'll just do one when you get mixed messages and top yourself Jimmy: take it up with the 'better' offers, more of 'em you can take out, the 'better' this shithole would be Janis: no shit, like Janis: not that much of a slag, sadly Jimmy: you called me Sherlock, pointing out the bloody obvious is my job done Janis: go shoot up and go to your mind palace, like Jimmy: not that much of a druggie, sadly Janis: letdown Janis: said you were 😎 Jimmy: 😎 by 💀👑 standards is bound to be a letdown by yours, Jules Janis: understatement Jimmy: alright, bighead Janis: coming from you, that's almost a compliment Jimmy: I know Jimmy: you can stop fishing now Janis: piss off Jimmy: 😏 Janis: 🖕🖕🖕 NEW BOY Jimmy: 💕 Janis: anything that reminds you of our glorious leader 😍 Jimmy: this teacher's ☕ breath is really doing it for me Janis: cruel and unusual punishment that Janis: tell socials you're being tortured Jimmy: start me a # Janis: #justiceforjimmy is catchy but you don't have a name so won't help Jimmy: @ Mia's dad for legal words beginning with n Jimmy: 🤞 he's got that far in the alphabet or you're on your own, girl Janis: I'll have to go for the cryptic #whereisnewboy Janis: not having 👀 on you must be well distressing for them anyway Jimmy: steady on though, sounds a bit like I've already ghosted you Jimmy: not very #goals that Janis: oh yeah Janis: 🐇🐇🐇 Jimmy: 🐇 on the boil or nowt Jimmy: 💀👑 rule 1 Janis: I'll think on it then 👻 boy Jimmy: 👍 Janis: #getghostboyout Janis: how long did you actually get in there? Jimmy: #bustoutghostboy Janis: lowkey suggestive Jimmy: 👻👻👻👻👻👻👻 Jimmy: right, they'll LOVE that Janis: [pisstakey socials] Jimmy: [replies that are lowkey suggestive because we know we've started something] Janis: [when you don't even know what you're doing but you're doing IT] Jimmy: [god bless you both]

[punkscowardschampions]

Jac & Jesse

Jac: I think I've actually lost it fully now Jesse: ? Jac: You'd tell me, yeah Jesse: go on Jac: If I've been talking to imaginary people for the last two years, I'll be fuming at you Jesse: you've barely said owt for the last 2 years Jac: yeah, and that's served me so well today, Jesus Jac: Savannah Moore is here Jesse: add her middle name in an' all Jesse: ain't sure who you mean Jac: This is why I don't talk, twat Jesse: Sav's here and you feel what? Jac: More shocked than you are Jac: have you been checking her UCAS app or her socials, like? Jesse: you knew she might Jac: I stopped thinking maybes and what-ifs about her a long time ago Jesse: half an hour ago? Jac: Shut up Jac: you aren't helping here Jesse: I'm asking how it went Jesse: seeing her Jac: Inconveniently and mindfuckingly well Jesse: alright Jesse: start with the 1st bit Jac: Inconvenient? Jac: Well, it's inconvenient because she's still the most perfect person who's ever existed Jac: confirming that I was right every time I looked at a pretty girl and thought that she didn't compare to her Jesse: she's single now, I heard Jac: Therein lies the headfuck Jac: because one minute she's complimenting me, telling me she's missed me and everything else I could possibly wanna hear Jac: then the next she's talking about marrying Princes and having lots of perfect babies Jesse: with what word? Jesse: or words Jac: Perfect Jac: that's what she said Jac: that I was Jesse: not much of a headfuck then Jesse: she's being clear Jac: but it's not though, is it Jac: 'cos this is how she used to talk to me Jac: and we know what happened there Jesse: then either she's trying to tell you fuck all's changed Jesse: or she's testing the waters to see what could Jac: This is just Jac: unreal Jesse: what did you say back? Jac: I'm not prepared to read that back yet Jac: I was just trying not to overstep the mark and freak her out the whole time Jac: but obviously, some shit came out Jesse: shit that you wanted to come out or nah? Jac: that depends Jesse: on her Jac: Yeah Jesse: alright, what do you know about how her 2 years were? Jac: right Jac: she didn't like her school Jac: her sister did Jac: her dad is controlling as fuck, sounds like Jac: her mum had some kind of breakdown that was a long time coming and Sav didn't see her much and feels guilty about it all Jac: oh, and she had a boyfriend the whole time, obviously Jac: but he dumped her at the end of school Jesse: and she missed you Jac: yeah Jac: and that it weren't the same, with anyone else Jac: talking, being mates, like Jesse: that's loads Jesse: that's her letting you in Jac: She's a pretty open person Jac: I think Jac: I don't know Jac: not like us Jesse: you gave her nowt back then Jac: Not exactly Jac: I didn't spill my heart out there and then but I tried to be honest Jac: without being too much, you know Jesse: yeah Jac: Am I making a horrible mistake Jac: going back Jesse: not by talking to her Jesse: sounds like she needs it Jac: What do I need? Jesse: a drink Jesse: but not if you're seeing her again Jac: We're going shopping Jac: I had to get half an hour so I could scream into a pillow Jac: and message you, obvs Jesse: clothes? Jac: Potentially, but shit for my dorm, mainly Jesse: don't try anything on Jac: that's your advice, yeah? Jac: tah Jesse: 1st bit Jac: Don't hold out on me Jac: go on Jesse: slow it down Jesse: much as you can Jac: Alright Jesse: there's loads you don't know Jesse: she still might not know herself Jac: She definitely still projects straight Jac: whether she's thought about any other possibility privately, yeah, I don't know Jac: but then I might've said I fancied some Scottish lad accidentally so I can't say much Jesse: nice one, you prick Jac: I'll miss you too, dickhead Jac: she was going on about boys, I had to say SOMETHING Jesse: did you ever reckon she might be going on about boys to see what you'd say Jac: Pretty sure it was her ex she was chatting about, so unlikely Jac: and I couldn't drop in that I'd had fantasies about digging his eyes out with rusty spoons so Jac: it made sense at the time Jesse: last thing you said to her you were straight an' all Jesse: and you confirmed it 2 years on Jac: but I'm clearly painfully in love with her 😩 Jac: it's some bullshit that I've got to put that out there again to be shot down, again Jesse: she might need you to put it out there so she can do something Jesse: she might be reckoning she's going mad right now Jac: It'd be an effective way to get her off the course, but I don't know if I can handle the guilt of making her move to another shithole Jesse: it was her mum that tried to top herself, weren't it? Jesse: just realised Jac: What Jac: oh no Jac: you're 100%? Jesse: might not be Jesse: but I remember people talking about something Jesse: the time-line isn't off Jac: Shit Jac: well, I'm gonna need you to check because I had no idea Jac: she asked if I heard what happened with her mum but she obviously didn't go into specifics when I said nah Jac: what did I even say back, fucking hell Jesse: if it were her, she made a big scene about her 💔 on Facebook or somewhere beforehand Jesse: be easy to 🔍 Jac: How did I miss this Jac: I mean, I know how, I had to purge her from my life completely but Jac: that makes a lot of sense Jesse: you're fuming about the boyfriend and I get it Jesse: but who else had she got Jac: I'm not fuming at him Jac: like I wasn't actually fuming at Isabelle Jac: I know it's my own shit, but that didn't stop me holding it against them because it's easier Jesse: his existence, whatever Jesse: I'm saying everyone needs someone Jesse: it don't mean she doesn't want you Jac: that's the point, she's entitled to date whoever she likes, trust whoever she likes, and she should have that Jac: but when I wasn't enough that left me with no one Jac: and I was pissed at any lad who dated her for supposedly being half of me but still getting 1st place, and pissed at Isabelle for not being half of her but thinking it were the same in any way Jac: It was just Jac: I was angry all the time Jac: and she doesn't need that Jesse: she does if you're gonna do or be fuck all with her Jesse: she needs to know what it were like for you and you need to know what it's like for her Jac: I know Jac: but I don't know if I can open myself up to the possibility of that much hurt again Jesse: if you want me there, I'll be there Jesse: country not the convo Jac: I've been here all of ten seconds Jesse: give a shit Jesse: and bagpipes might be what this track needs, selfish prick Jac: 😂 Jesse: you ain't asked me my thoughts on how fit the Scottish are either Jesse: could be well in Jac: I've already covered that nicely without you, tah Jac: and fuck all people here are Scottish, it's mad Jesse: 👍 Jesse: do me better then Jac: Am I a compulsive liar or what? Jesse: bit strong Jac: I said I was more honest now Jac: and I did say some shit I meant to Jac: but why the fuck couldn't I just Jac: say it Jesse: you can't undo all that straight girl bollocks in a day Jesse: she don't even realise Jac: I just didn't wanna let her down when she said her kids needed best friends Jac: that's as mental as it sounds Jac: fucking hell Jesse: hang on Jesse: what Jac: not kids like current, she's not had a load Jac: when we were friends, the plan was, we go to uni together then we get jobs in the same field and then we have kids and live in the same place so they can be friends forever like us Jac: I am aware male friendships tend not to go that hard Jac: straight girl bollocks Jesse: I dunno what the fuck to say to that Jac: This is what I'm saying Jac: she'll just drop stuff like that Jesse: she wants to doing everything in her life with you forever, that's really gay Jac: only with 🤴🏾🤴🏾 in tow Jac: it'd 🤯 if I suggested we could take the spunk and run Jac: not part of the fairytales, is it Jesse: that's the point Jesse: she wants what she's been conditioned to want Jac: Maybe by year three we'll be sorted Jac: our head of department legit warned us that loads of people split up once they start #realizingthings on this course, like Jesse: right laugh Jac: 🧠 Jac: the laugh is me being able to help anyone's fucked head by the end of this, like Jesse: I dunno, you've helped me a bit Jac: if you write a song about this I'll expect a fucking fat check out of it Jesse: I can get my own straight boy whenever I want Jesse: you ain't special Jac: How dare you Jesse: 🖕😏 Jesse: 🤠 Jac: I should just Jac: never attend lectures and never leave this room Jesse: piss off Jesse: she'd come 👀 Jac: I can't be her maid of honour Jac: something's got to give, at some point Jesse: then don't Jesse: give her the options Jac: well easy in theory Jac: like LOVE ME OR LEAVE isn't an insane thing to throw at someone Jesse: like she hasn't thrown loads of mad shit at you Jac: If I could be more like her, I would Jac: 1000% she's not sat in her room freaking out right now Jac: she just does and says what she wants and moves on Jac: I do none of the above Jesse: how's that working out for her? Jesse: she sounds buzzing to me Jesse: not fucked up at all Jac: We're both insane Jesse: when you met her she was crying in a bathroom Jesse: just saying Jac: I remember, thank you very much Jac: I feel like I was a fucking predator Jac: like I knew she was vulnerable or some shit Jesse: don't start Jac: If I'd focused on being a better friend Jac: none of this would've happened Jac: just saying Jesse: you wanna be more honest, you said Jesse: how is suppressing how you feel and friendzoning yourself doing her any favours Jac: She said I always say the right things, when it matters Jac: it worked Jac: 'til it didn't Jesse: the right things for her Jesse: stop being a dickhead and say the right things for you Jac: but Jac: fuck me, you know Jesse: we all take the piss out of Jude but she's the happiest for doing it, deny it Jac: if you want me to do anything, saying I'll be like Jude is a bad tactic Jesse: it ain't about what I want Jac: yeah well Jac: reckon our time is up Jesse: bit rude Jac: I told you at the top you had half an hour Jesse: she's kept you waiting years Jesse: might make it forever if you're right about the best friend babies bollocks Jac: you wanna have a word with your own mixed messages Jac: first you want me to tell her everything, now you want me to stand her up Jesse: you fucking heard me say slow it down Jesse: that's not spilling owt in a changing room, Jackie Jesse: sort your head out Jac: Don't call me that Jac: and don't be pissy 'cos your advice has gone in about 20 different directions Jac: it's a confusing situation, I did not need you to mansplain that to me Jesse: shots fired, Jacqueline 🤠 Jesse: I ain't got the full story and neither have you Jesse: can't do nowt about that personally Jac: that's why I'm going to go see her now Jac: I'm touched, you're so upset about me leaving Jac: but I'll be back at Christmas Jesse: I ain't about to leg it from my emotions Jesse: I can say I'm upset Jac: No shit Jac: your bread and butter Jac: I'm gonna get paid for understanding other people's, not my own Jesse: I just Jesse: not again, you know Jac: I'm fine Jac: seriously Jesse: Dad ain't entered the chat Jesse: you can't fob me off with no fine Jac: this wasn't a 'meant to call the samaritans, called you by mistake' situation though Jac: I really am Jac: no real emergency here Jesse: alright, but if takes longer than 2 years to get a word out of you should this go tits up again, I'll be fuming Jac: you should say you enjoyed the peace and quiet Jesse: it was shit Jac: I know Jesse: I'm chuffed you get to have another crack at it but Jesse: trying to write some less angsty bollocks here Jac: I've got to see it through regardless Jac: we all know that Jac: she's here, we're on the same friggin' course, there's no ignoring it now Jesse: well yeah Jesse: just if you could gimme 😁 or 😍 for next summer, I'd have a hit Jac: if you can get your own straight boy, you can get your own 😁 or 😍 Jesse: you really need to have a word with yourself about this aversion you've got to inspiring me Jac: you'll be on the list of top users with me if you don't stop stealing people's angst and heartbreak for dollar Jesse: soz I don't have my own Jac: ugh Jac: go away now, bastard Jesse: 👍 Jesse: good talk Jac: was passable, anyway Jesse: have Jude rate it /10 Jac: she gets the room to herself Jac: she owes me rn, not you Jesse: what rating's she got Sav on? Jac: She's not dare do that in years Jesse: if she knew it'd be - figures Jac: again, using our sister's poor taste is nothing but affirming Jac: she doesn't like you, by the way Jesse: Jude? Jac: Ha, no Jac: Savannah Jesse: knew that Jac: Well it cheered me up a great deal Jesse: fancying both me and you would be a headfuck too far for her Jac: Don't be disgusting Jesse: it would Jesse: especially as she only likes lads if they're exactly right Jac: Boring, is what you mean Jesse: safe Jac: lacking personality Jesse: long as they make up for it in looks Jesse: so she can take a good 📸 Jac: ew Jac: not even Jac: they look like male versions of her, which is to say less refined and nowhere near as pretty Jesse: psychoanalyse that Jac: don't take a degree Jac: if they look like her, they look like her dad Jac: or her ma, whichever way she's feeling it Jac: then she can do it right and no one gets hurt Jesse: 🤢 Jac: 🤷 Jac: don't judge Jac: 'cos ours have only fucked you up in ways that make you decent enough at 🎶 that it's worth it Jesse: tah for giving 'em all the credit Jesse: nowt to do with me Jac: come off it Jac: you get enough general acclaim Jesse: sound more thrilled Jac: If you think I'm about to express an emotion for you Jesse: not that thick Jesse: finished school and everything me Jac: I was there Jac: believe it or not Jesse: 👻 Jac: 🙄 Jac: something like that Jesse: piss off and see your girlfriend then Jac: 👍

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: Can you come over? I don't care if it has to be late Rio: What's wrong? Are you okay? Buster: No. And I don't wanna be alone here, with this shit, that'll make it worse Rio: Coming as soon as I can Rio: What has she said? Done? Buster: She's threatening to tell everyone about us and stop me seeing Jay if I don't dump you and get back with her Buster: It's fucking stupid and mostly not happening but Christ, I'm so tired Buster: And sick of her Rio: You know she can't stop you Rio: but if you have to then do Rio: Leave me, I mean, not the bit where you bow to her every whim and marry her at once Rio: if it makes it easier to keep seeing Jay, then I get it Rio: I don't know what I'll do but Buster: Fuck off. I won't. I love you Buster: I love Jay too, obviously, but like you said, she can't stop me seeing her Buster: I'll go to court, I don't care Rio: You know I love you too Rio: but I don't want to make your life any more difficult than it is already with her in it Buster: You're the only thing keeping me sane and you know it Buster: I can't lose you Rio: Okay Rio: You're sure? Rio: If you are, then I'll stand by you and support you 1000% Rio: Of course, I will Buster: 'Course I am. I know it felt a bit, I don't know how to even describe it, going from where we were to like bracelets and 'I love you's ' or whatever but it's been a long time coming, yeah? Buster: And I swear I mean it. I'm so sure Rio: Yeah Rio: Me too Rio: I just wish the rest wasn't such a fucking mess Rio: How are we going to face all the people we have to face Buster: I have no fucking clue, honestly, but I know I'll support you in whatever you wanna do or say Buster: We'll handle it together. Somehow Rio: I'm trying to think faster than she can post Rio: We have to get it out there before she does, right? Rio: At least it'll be the truth, I can own that better than whatever story she's concocting rn Buster: Yeah Buster: And it'll be better coming from us, I reckon, still a shock but Buster: They'll see where we're coming from instead of her POV Buster: Though maybe it's better for everyone to think we're just fucking and we can stop? I don't know Buster: That's what she believes Rio: But when we don't Rio: They're just going to think...Fuck knows Rio: I don't think it'll be good but Rio: I just don't know, I can't predict what anyone is going to think or say Rio: Do Buster: We could always let her post it and leave until some of the backlash dies down. Not what a mature dad would do like Buster: But Buster: She doesn't think I am anyway so whatever, yeah? Rio: Where are we going to go? Rio: We can't stay away forever Buster: This is such a headfuck Buster: There's no time Buster: Thriving under pressure is one thing, but she's proper ambushed us Rio: I know, I feel sick Rio: Stalking her feeds like its love Buster: I can't even bring myself to have anything open on my phone other than this convo Buster: How are we even gonna get everyone together to tell them? There's so many of the fuckers Rio: I don't know, mass group chat seems a little blasé Rio: Maybe, we tell the most important ones, and fast Rio: and then let them tell who they need to etc Rio: Let word of mouth do the rest Buster: Fucking hell, Nance is in NYC, I can't be like excuse the time difference but I've gotta just ruin your life again potentially really quick Rio: Oh, fuck Rio: I wish I didn't love you like I do Rio: would be so much simpler, wouldn't it Buster: I know, but don't say that again, okay? Buster: I told Chlo I don't regret you and I meant it Buster: Even if I have to let mum and dad tell Nance and let her think that's how little I care about her Rio: I'm sorry, I don't want it in any other way, and I only want it that way for your benefit Rio: I don't want to hurt you, ever Rio: Run to NYC? Buster: Good Buster: I would if I thought she'd have me. But I've got no right to ask her for that Rio: What if I ask? Rio: Obviously we'd need a place to stay when the shit hits the fan but at least you can do it in person Buster: Yeah Buster: She deserves that much after me being such a shit brother, as Chlo was quick to remind me Rio: You've had your moments but she still loves you, Buster Buster: Maybe she shouldn't Buster: Maybe I should just stay away from her Rio: Why? Buster: She's finally landed on her feet with uni like, she doesn't need me ruining everything for her again Buster: She's close to you and I've taken the piss so much already, she might not understand why I'm doing this Rio: I know but Chlo isn't going to help her understand, is she? Rio: If we're doing this Rio: if its worth it, we have to go in Rio: we're going to hurt people, and its gonna be fucking horrible Rio: but, it'll hurt me to have to leave you, and that's the only alternative we have left Buster: You're right. Making a habit of being, yeah? Buster: Looks like I'm getting on another flight then Buster: If I pass uni myself at this point nobody can say shit about my ego Rio: You know you can, you will Rio: Obviously you have to tell her alone Rio: but do you want me to come? Rio: I have the funds Buster: I want nothing more but what about your family? Besides Billie they are all here Buster: If you want to tell your parents first I can't blame you Rio: Maybe I'm being a coward, but I'm not convinced Chlo will actually do anything, she would've just done it, surely? I think if you can keep her talking, even if its arguing, it gives us time...like its all she has over you Rio: She'd be a moron (more than she is) to just let go of it that easy Buster: I reckon you're onto something, babe Buster: Or you just really want a holiday like Rio: How did you guess? Rio: Gonna have time and desire to see all the sights, like Rio: I just think...I don't know, she might wanna hear my side too, maybe, and it might help if she does Buster: Yeah Buster: I wish we could take Jay. I hate the thought of leaving her with Chlo right now Buster: And she can work any room, 'course Buster: No chance of staying mad with that face around Rio: Yeah Rio: I don't trust her as a Mum, I wouldn't say that just 'cos I'm the petty new woman, you know that Rio: I seriously don't Rio: but you said her 'rents are decent and do most of the work Rio: Sure they still will be, they'll look after her, even if Chlo won't Buster: Same. It's what scares me about her. More than anything she's ever threatened Buster: Thank Christ she still lives at home Buster: And Jay's too young to believe any shit she says against me Rio: She's going to know who you are, and what a good Dad you are Rio: You'd never let Chlo get away with that, and Jay wouldn't believe her over you Rio: who's put in the actual work, after-all Rio: just another thing she'll lament about, wah wah no one loves me Buster: I need to believe that or I'll properly crack up like Rio: Its the truth Rio: I promise you Buster: You're the best Buster: I know it shouldn't be a competition of who I fucked over more or whatever but you or Erin would never do this Rio: Most wouldn't Rio: Unlucky for you, you found one who will go above and beyond to fuck up your life Buster: Yeah Buster: How soon could you leave for NYC? Rio: As soon as you can Rio: Not ideal for either of us but Rio: Gotta be done Buster: I'm emailing my professors to get extensions and shit as we speak, not that a family emergency anywhere near covers it Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: No shorthand for this situation Rio: Though I'm sure they'd all love to know the drama Buster: Oh fuck, all my old friends are gonna lap this up Buster: Been waiting on my fall from grace Rio: Do you care? Rio: Most of them were cunts, has to be said Buster: Only thinking of you, babe. Not to late for you to hit up James again and choose him instead Rio: Please Rio: He was good for a warm bed and nothing else, you fool Rio: Try to forget that ever happened, like Buster: Good. Me too Rio: I already wanted you then Buster: I know Buster: And you know I did too, yeah? Rio: I knew for definite after Rio: Got no poker face and the jealousy was palpable, babe Buster: Fuck off Buster: Not my fault you're proper desirable Rio: Just write that on a postcard and be done with it, I reckon Rio: They'll all understand Buster: You just saved us a trip. Well done Rio: Always thinking, me Rio: Now we can hide forever just you and me Buster: I'm thinking my ma's poker face skipped a generation and my daughter got it all Buster: Yeah. I'm looking at flights there and not back, casually Rio: I reckon you might be right Rio: she certainly knows how to wrap you around her little finger already Buster: You being giving her sly lessons? I know her mother can't teach her anything about that Rio: What can I say? Make the most of my time Rio: Nah, just a girl after my own heart, like Buster: Take your word on that like Buster: We might need that hustle you've got if my parents disown me so can't complain Rio: They won't will they? Mine either Rio: Oh God Buster: I don't see how mine can after how they got together Buster: Basically brother and sister depending who you ask Buster: But who knows Rio: And everyone knows about Joe and Ronnie but they still talk to them Rio: am I just being stupid and naive thinking it might end up okay? Rio: not just wishful thinking is it Buster: True. I forgot about them, which shows how many fucks I give Buster: We can do this Buster: It ain't illegal, even if Chlo reckons otherwise. I could marry you if I wanted like Rio: Yeah, it'll just be adjusting to it Rio: like we had to Rio: all we can do is give everyone time Rio: but they can't make us not Buster: Let them be mad if they gotta but I ain't Buster: I love you too much Rio: I love you Rio: I have to be with you Rio: I don't know where I'd be if you hadn't have been there for me throughout all the bad shit Buster: I know you'd have made it, but I'm still glad I was there anyway Buster: If only 'cause I'm a selfish cunt Rio: I don't know Rio: I just know I don't just need you, I want you too Rio: That's all Buster: I feel the same, trust me Buster: I know it's stupid but I can't help wondering what Edie would make of this Rio: Probably thank me for taking the heat off her... Rio: I think she'd get it, she got most things, even the shit other people didn't want to touch Buster: Yeah Buster: We can get a flight tomorrow if I throw enough cash at it. Can you handle that? Rio: Yes Rio: Let's do this Buster: Make sure you tell Indie at least Buster: We can worry about Nance at the last possible moment Rio: Will do, at least she can cover for me if needs Buster: My mum and dad probably won't notice I've gone unless Chlo goes through with her threat and the shit hits the fan Rio: She's not got the bottle Rio: We'll be back to tell them as soon as we can Buster: Actually want you to be a know-it-all Buster: What's the world come to? Rio: Fuck knows, babe Rio: It ain't coming to an end though, not like she wants Buster: Come over tonight and I'll take you home to get packed in the AM Buster: Not leaving your side Rio: Of course Rio: I'm going to take care of you Buster: You can prove that to me later Buster: There's nothing I want more Rio: I'm going to Rio: Gonna show you why I'm worth this Buster: I already know Buster: But I'm always ready for you to tell me again Rio: You deserve it Buster: So do you, babe Rio: I love you so fucking much Buster: I love you too Buster: No matter what Rio: We're gonna have it all, remember? Buster: I won't forget Buster: I'm packing and I swear any drawer I pull out either has something of Jay's in or something that doesn't belong there which she's helpfully put there Buster: It doesn't feel like she was here long enough to do all that Buster: And it's gonna kill me if I can't see her again sometime soon Rio: You will Rio: That's why we're sorting this now, and not running Rio: For her, yeah? Buster: Us too though. 'Cause it has to be better in the long run Buster: We've done our share of lying and not saying what we mean Rio: Yeah Rio: We would've always had to have done this Rio: or stop Rio: she's forced our hand but Rio: I'm so tired of the lies anyway Buster: Agreed. Tempting as it'd be to wait until Jay's in college herself, I can't either Buster: She's done us a favor really, which she'll love Rio: Yeah, let that fuel you Rio: She's going to get nothing from this, she's only gonna fuck herself up Buster: Exactly. I tried to warn her as much Rio: She can't be told anything Rio: Fuck her Buster: Not again, cheers Rio: I'd be jealous but even my brain can't make that scenario believable Buster: Thank Christ 'cause if it could I'd have to reckon you don't know me like I thought you did Rio: No one's that self-destructive Rio: Not even you Buster: No arguments here Rio: Good Buster: Bad enough I did it the once Rio: Thank God for Jay Rio: otherwise that'd be nothing but an awkward regret forreal Buster: Any other mother if I could though, honestly Buster: I'd rather it was Indie even Rio: Um, I wouldn't Rio: She is all you though, sure you could've got her from someone else like Buster: Yeah? You reckon Buster: I wonder what the next one will be like when she's born Rio: Same Rio: Exciting Buster: We've been throwing some names around and none of them have made me cringe like Chlo's choice of middle name for Jay so that's a start Rio: That's a start Rio: All I know is she'll be dead cute too Buster: I'm sure Erin will be well happy you feel that way about her like Buster: But seriously, you're too much and I can't get enough of you still Rio: Shut up, she might not legit try and murder me like Chlo but I still don't think I should try my luck, like Buster: You'd be within your rights to murder Chlo yourself, some of the shit she said Rio: Yeah? Rio: Can't say I'm surprised Buster: I wasn't either Buster: Shut her up anyway though Rio: 'Course you did, so chivalrous forever Rio: My hero Buster: What can I say? I know what you like Buster: She tried to talk shit about Nancy too Rio: Cunt Rio: Nance is 10 times the person she'll ever be Buster: Yeah Buster: She proved it by bringing her up, as if she hadn't done enough already Buster: Trying to call her a freak 'cause in her mind it compares, the monsters she reckons we are and Nance being gay Rio: Shown herself up there Rio: Think what you like about us but get with the times on the gay thing, babe Buster: And she thinks she's the one fit to raise my daughter while I ain't Buster: Jay could be gay for all we know Rio: I don't think she even thinks that, she just chats shit for her own benefit Rio: She can't possibly think she's doing good Rio: Don't know if she cares Buster: Pretty sure she doesn't Buster: She basically said she only wanted Jay so she could play happy families with me Buster: Like there was no point to being a parent if she couldn't have that Rio: What the fuck Rio: She's so Rio: You had no say, she did Rio: she should've really wanted her Rio: So horrible Buster: I wish I could take Jay off her but there's no way Rio: Yeah that'd be near impossible Rio: She's not that level of awful Rio: When you're finished with Uni, set up, she'll have to custody share properly Rio: Get that sorted Buster: Yeah Buster: Maybe she'll get better over time, once the new baby is here and me and you are still going strong, giving her no choice but to accept things even if she doesn't want to see sense Rio: Can but hope, babe Buster: Fuck it I'm coming there. I need a drink. Buster: And seeing you wouldn't hurt either Rio: Yeah? Rio: I won't be mad about that either Buster: I'll stay until you're done. Keep you company like you've done for me Rio: I'll get to pouring Buster: Good Buster: Be there soon