#oh my whiskers!; rayburn whittemore

[curiousascuriouscanbe]

A Quiet Moment

A White Rabbit x Cheshire Cat One-Shot

The moon hung full over Rayburn as he fretted over his appearance while he ran down a faint path through the woods. He had followed the moon to the coastline - between the trees in a spot no one else paid mind to.  Just as Cesar showed him so long ago.  He paused just outside the slot in the branches and stone.

He reached out his hand, slowly slipping between the foliage.  Guided by the feel of the rock wall under his palm.  His breath baited as he hoped he would see Cesar sat by the water; but, he wasn't fully convinced he would.

Rayburn emerged from the other side. He readjusted his glasses.  The blurry scene came into view.  And there he sat.  Cesar.  Outlined in the silver light of the moon with a stick poked partway into a drawing in the sand.  Rayburn tried to release his breath, but Cesar looked so utterly breath-taking soaked in the colors of the night that it simply made the issue worse.  At least for a moment.  The anxious rabbit slowly approached.

“Lovely evening, isn't it?”

Cesar had picked up someone entering his quiet spot quite a while ago.  His right ear poked backwards and his tail swished.  Eyes fixated on the rolling waves of the ocean; mind focused on his heavy pondering of life. He turned around as he realized it was Rayburn and mustered up a soft smile.

“Indeed it is,”

The rabbit paused just a bit behind Cesar.  His hands held nervously over his stomach.  Rayburn looked down at his feet.

“May I join you?”

Cesar turned back to the ocean.  He scooted over a touch, patting the sand next to him.  Rayburn took that as a sign to sit down.  He fumbled about awkwardly until he got himself sat neatly; with his hands folded in his lap.  Silently staring out at the ocean as well.  

“Florence and I have separated.”

His voice lacked the emotion typically present in such a sentence.  Cesar's ears swiveled at the sheer shock of it and he glanced over.  Rayburn then continued on.

“She left a few weeks ago,”

He looked aside to Cesar, who had now turned to pay more attention to him.  The cat's eyes flicked between surprise and confusion; but ultimately, they landed on worried.

“I'm sorry to hear that, dear,”

“You don't have to be,”

Rayburn shook his head.  He wrung his fingers together, rocking his hands in and out.

“I'm fine actually…. it's good,”

Cesar leaned back.  His pupils retracted into slits - taken even more aback than before.  Surely, he thought, I mustn't have heard him right.  (He had an issue with the spoken word, so to him it was always a possibility)  He scanned over Rayburn's face as he tried to parse the exact nature of the scenario.  Rayburn smiled a little as the moment of silence was just a touch too loud for his liking.  Cesar cleared his throat; his pupils redilated.

“What… what makes you say that?”

“We weren't happy,”

The rabbit sighed.  His gaze diverted back to his lap.  Locked on the sand; it had crossed his mind that if he started to count the grains that he may be able to escape the gravity of the conversation.  But, he pressed on.

“I don't think we ever were.”

He looked down at Cesar's hand, as it had just been placed lightly on his leg.  Rayburn covered his face; the gesture had turned him a little pink.  Then pushed his head back with his hands until he was sat at attention.  His chin tilted up at the sky as he brushed his hair back into place with his fingers.

“I…”

Cesar took his hand from his leg to his back.  He pressed reassuring circles in between his shoulder blades.  Patiently he waited for Rayburn to continue; he could see the need to in the twitch of his brow.  Rayburn breathed in and out.  Then the words came spilling out.

“And this is the first time I've been out of the house in a month.  Everything has been so… hectic.  I haven't slept a wink.  All I've been doing is papers and packing and -”

He started to get frantic.

“And Finnegan - oh I love the boy.  Of course I love him so much.  But the way he cries- and, and how delicate he is-  I'm so scared all the time and I'm just so… so tired,”

Cesar's fur prickled with concern; though, deeply, he felt an ease on the worried mind he had had for that month.  His gentle touches became a loose hug around Rayburn's shoulder.

“You poor thing, it sounds like you need a break,”

“I do,”

After a pause, Rayburn set his head on Cesar's shoulder.  His eyes closed as a wash of exhaustion hit him.  He mulled over his next words extremely carefully.

“I'm sorry that I've been gone.  I have truly, deeply missed you,”

Cesar rubbed Rayburn's arm; he felt so right in his embrace, even despite the rather depressing discussion.  He, too, took a moment longer than normal to think on his words.

“I've missed you too.  If I may be honest - I quite thought you were mad with me,”

“Oh no, no!  Certainly not.  I'm so sorry I made you worry so.  I could never be cross with you,”

They sat in quiet.  Stewing in it.  The ocean lapped at the shore.  Rayburn's teeth chattered.  Cesar's tail glided over the sand.  Eventually, Rayburn breathed in and continued.

“And, if I too could be honest.  Which, pardon the awkward nature of my truthful tone - but …  A day has not passed in which I didn't think about something like this,”

Rayburn clenched fistfuls of the fur on his lap to lock himself down.  His legs shook with the want to flee.

“Though… that would be true for much further back than just month,”

Cesar held his breath.  Not quite sure how to interpret that.  His movements stilled.  All except his heart.  Which was beginning to beat with an anxious-kind of joy.  He couldn't….  Could he?

Rayburn's eyes quivered as he scanned the ground for some sort of anchor; afraid he might run off otherwise.

"I... I suppose I just never wanted to admit that to myself.  That my mind could be so full of-"

He breathed in and out - feeling his heart going a mile a minute.  A feeling he should be used to, he thought, but this pounding was so different to any other anxiety that ever found itself within him. 

"There were just so many things I had to live up to.  My whole life was planned out so thoroughly.  But, no one ever took into account.... the me in the outline of my life- Oh, I'm rambling on and on, aren't I?”

Cesar's eyes were now on Rayburn's face.  Watching every movement.  Every minute twitch being interpreted as thoroughly as a slip of poetry.  He could see the other man getting worked up, and moved his other hand to take one of Rayburn's.

"You are."

He chuckled a little, though it was soft and quiet.  He gently squeezed Rayburn's hand in his own, rubbing the knuckles of it softly.

"I apologize.  I really do try to be more coherent than this," 

Rayburn sighed.

He put his other hand on the open side of Cesar's, looking down at their intertwined fingers.  His mind taking a brief moment to linger on the affection.

Cesar smiled softly.

"No need to apologize.  I find your babbling rather endearing.”

Rayburn chuckled - pressing their hands against his forehead.  His cheeks getting dusted red as he did so.  His laughter sounded a bit off.  Caged, almost.

"Lord, why is this so much harder than I thought it would be,”

Cesar tilted his head a bit - his ears twitching as he looked at the red cheeks of Rayburn.  He picked up on how almost nervous he sounded, which made him nervous in turn.  He took a moment to think before asking:

"What is 'this' exactly?”

Rayburn kept his face held against their knuckles.  Nervous chuckling fading to a brief and thoughtful silence.

"I came out here tonight with so much to say, but I can't, for the life of me, just say it.  I spoke to myself so confidently on the walk here.  Told myself,”

He articulated his hands as if to chastise himself. 

"Ray, you are going to tell him you've loved him for years, and that's final.  No ifs, ands, or buts about it!  But oh dear, I keep either rambling away or clamming up.  And such a contradictory state is so horrid,”

Cesar's heart almost skipped a beat at those words.  The two words in that sentence that were more powerful than any others Rayburn had said.  His ears stood up straight and his tail flicked behind him as his eyes widened slightly, a feeling of disbelief spread through him like wildfire.  His eyes stayed locked on the other, but his mind found itself on the moon.  Finally, after a few long moments of stunned silence, he found the words to speak - but his voice cracked and shook.

"You... love me?”

In a moment of utter unwinding, Rayburn was about to continue on.  But, thankfully, the rambling rabbit caught what had just slipped out.  He looked at Cesar with wide eyes.  Usually white fur tinged so pink from his embarrassment; spurred on further by seeing Cesar's eyes looking back just as big.  So open, he could spy the cosmos behind them.  He meekly stammered,

"I assure you, the confession was meant to be much more romantic than that,"

Cesar was silent again, still trying to process what had been said.  But once he heard the statement about romance, he let out a snort of a laugh and then a chuckle.  He put his free hand to his mouth to cover the laughter and hold himself together.

"A bit less clumsily, then, love?"

Rayburn nodded - glad to try again.  He reached out for Cesar's hands again; he finally found a true anchor.

"Cesar Castillo, I have loved you for years.  The thought of you has filled my very existence with a joy overflowing.  There is not anyone else on this earth I have felt this way for - my heart was taken long ago, and I have finally - finally found it in you.  And, I am ever so sorry it took me so long to Sherlock my way-”

The more Rayburn spoke, the wider the other man's smile got.  Cesar's heart raced, his mind buzzed.  The pounding in his chest deafened him and left him dizzy.  But he kept listening, holding Rayburn's hands even tighter.  His breathing quickened.  Until finally he cut off the man's flow of words with an over-excited, nearly possessed kiss - holding the side of Rayburn's face as he did so.

Rayburn's mind exploded like a million fireworks.  His ears shot straight up before they immediately plummeted back down.  He melted into the other.  His hand clutched tightly to Cesar's as the kiss calmed to a more tender affair.

Even after it ended, Rayburn held Cesar close.  Partly because he felt as if he was nearly floating from elation.  And the terror of parting from the embrace made him act quite silly.

The other was much the same.  Rubbing his cheek against the other's as he held him tight.  A quiet purr rumbling from his chest as he began to accept that this was indeed reality.  (You see, Cesar's mind often liked making him second guess the obvious.  And, now, it was trying to convince him Rayburn was going to poof to dust and this all was just a dream of sorts.)  He pressed a series of soft kisses against Rayburn's cheek.  His purr turned into a series of giggles; which in turn caused Rayburn to begin snickering as well.

Eventually, they found their foreheads pressed together.  Holding each other by the cheeks.  Little words passed between them, just the beginning of some through chortles and chuckles.  Yet, they still knew exactly what the other was saying.

Rayburn leaned forward to hug Cesar again as they wound back down.  Burying his face into the sea of white fur around his neck.  His rational brain gave him a little knock; finally audible as the chattering of the love-sick fool in him quieted down.  He held Cesar even tighter, his voice muffled by the proximity.

“Oh I'm so happy that it almost makes me forget how imminent my return home is,”

Cesar's ears folded down - his smile faltered slightly.  He pressed his head against Rayburn's as his tail wrapped around them both.  A quiet sadness in his whisper.

“Must you really go?”

“I do have to check on Finnegan.  I'm not quite fond of him being raised more by the nanny than his own father, you know,”

He rocked with Cesar.  Despite the call of his responsibilities - his hands still gripped to the other.  And maybe it was the way they swayed that knocked it into him (but, likely not) but, soon he began to ponder an idea.  The love-sick fool and the rational whispering the pros and cons amongst themselves in his brainspace.  Rayburn peeled himself away from Cesar with his gaze on their laps at first.  Cautiously, he peeked up at the other.

“But…”

Cesar's ears twitched slightly upwards at that.

“Maybe.  You could join me at my residence this evening, perhaps?”

That knocked the wind out of Cesar.  His mind wiped immediately of any thought.  Rayburn smiled awkwardly at him; a tiny crinkle above his nose.  Suddenly, Cesar's mind found himself again and he spoke very swiftly.

“I can do that, yes!  I can absolutely do that!  I will go pack a bag right now, actually!”

Rayburn's smile widened at the other's reaction; his laughter reignited from sheer adoration.

“I can expect you then?”

Cesar had already scrambled to his feet; the energy in him caused him to be three steps ahead of himself.  He pulled Rayburn up as well, leaning in for another quick kiss before nodding as fast as his head could.

“Yes, yes, you absolutely can!”

“Well- well!  Wonderful!”

The kiss had nearly knocked the sense out of Rayburn, but he managed to keep hold of it enough to already be planning the visit.

“I'll get the house ready for your arrival,”

He got overwhelmed by the joy and had to put his head against Cesar's chest to just smile.  Cesar hugged him tight before the two of them burst away from each other.  The want to start the future as soon as possible overtaking them.  Both disappearing into the night, as spry as they were when they first fell for the other.

[curiousascuriouscanbe]

Rabbitshire, the dummies (affectionately)