#oh my goddd mourning what once was. mourning what could be

[skippudippu]

me when grief is just love with nowhere to go

[drangues]

LOOK ITS THE CLOSEST HOUSEHOLD APPLIANCE I COULD THINK KF THAT REMINDED ME OF A SWORD OUTSIDE OF A KNIFE. BUT A KNIFE WOULD BE ~EXPECTED~ SO HERE WE ARE. (And! I’ll read it, don’t worry! I can be a bit slow so it might? Take a bit??? And I get distracted easily, BUT it looks nice from the summary alone!!!) Anyways! That is exactly something that Kyouka would do, she can be a little shit sometimes (but we love her). (Nyanon, 1/4)

, and Poor Atsushi just wants to stop sleeping in weird positions so that she has no leverage, but alas, he almost always wakes up oddly anyways. Kyouka and Demon Snow revel in it and all the pictures they get (and I wonder if Demon Snow ever tries to just. Scoop him up in a weird position he fell asleep in, just to see if he’ll stay asleep). But that aside- That makes sense! Atsushi using emojis is cute,, (Nyanon, 2/4)

Poor Kunikida probably mourns the loss of someone texting in proper sentences, but a more casual style with emojis definitely fits Atsushi best... Now that I think about it, I bet he has little emojis next to everyone’s names. Like, Kyouka has a bunny next to hers, Fukuzawa has a cat, etc. (I MEAN THATS FAIR, she probably changes it up depending on who she talks to??? Like, Atsushi and Fukuzawa and probably Kunikida get kaomojis, but! (Nyanon, 3/4)

Since she likes fucking with Dazai she sends him the Weird Ones, you know?) Moving on to an AU Concept, though: Imagine one where Atsushi is just a super advanced AI that was programmed to help the ADA. I imagine it isn’t a super angsty AU- I just like the thought of AI!Atsushi (Aistushi?) slowly learning to be his own,, person? And gaining emotions that are his, rather than a programmed reaction. (Nyanon, 4/4)

(hey man its fine i understand that it takes a long time for u to finish your stuff i just want you to read it whether that is in a few hours or a few months no pressure)

bro wouldnt it be funny if kunikida texts all cutely like- theres this manga called horimiya (it has an anime adaption now!!) where the student council president looks all serious and proper but he unexpectedly texts all cutely once he has exchanged a few messages with you (see down below)

THAT WOULD BE FUNNY DONT LIE.

atsushi putting different emoji on peoples contacts is so funny and so is kyouka giving dazai the weird emojis my GOD (she would also say omnious stuff. i feel kyouka would say V E R Y omnious stuff that makes everyone go ?? HELP??)

kyouka looking at a car, nodding: you can kill and let the dead body in here, thats enough space  atsushi: kyouka i-

OWOWOWO ATSUSHI BEING AI IS CERTAINLY INCH ARRESTING, THERES A GINTAMA ARC WHERE THEY FIND A ROBOT AND LIKE AT THE END THE ROBOT GETS FEELINGS AND I REMEMBER CRYING OVER THAT ARC- EITHER WAY, THAT MADE ME THINK OF THIS. but i- OH MY GODDD

atsushi is an ai that was thrown away by the scientists as a useless ai cause he didnt gain feelings and because of that atsushi did think he was a useless robot and a good for nothing that couldnt even do One basic thing (which is to feel like humans do) and throughout the whole time he thinks hes Not worth it and as he wanders through the streets trying to find a way to CHARGE himself he sees dazai drowning and jumps in to save him cus. he was programmed to save if anyones in danger

and dazais like “tch.” as usual to getting saved and atsushi doesnt know what to respond cause he was never told WHAT to respond with. but either way, dazai asks him what he can do for him and before atsushi “faints” aka Turn Off he says “i need to get charged”

when he wakes up later hes in a car and he sees dazai holding a power bank thats charging him. kunikidas driving the car and dazais like “i was surprised to see that youre an AI, youre quite impressive!” atsushi doesnt know how to respond, “we need your help [mission with smth abt AI and android or whatever that will be used for Evil]” and after the mission, atsushi faints again cus a powerbank can only charge that much

when he wakes up dazai offers him the job and while atsushi wants to accept, he cant cus he doesnt have a heart. theres no way he could actually be a DETECTIVE. a job that serves people. 

as usual, dazai tricks him (like in the actual show) and says “yes ill find you a new job” after atsushi saves him from the suicide barrel attempt. kunikida makes a scene about a bomber, they go there and the usual happens until tanizaki presses the button for the bomb

and in a swift second, without thinking, atsushi pushes naomi away and covers his body with the bomb. and hes like “what am i doing? why do i feel obligated to save her? that wasnt because of my programming, im programmed to evacuate when a bomb is setting off- why did i feel Scared?” the bomb doesnt explode Duh and atsushi is Hired despite fukuzawa being skeptic over hiring an AI

thats when atsushi thinks that maybe he is capable of growing feelings and growing into his own person

[theskyexists]

Steven Universe Future

i LOVE this rose quartz episode oh m ygod

all of their responses. and Pearl being surrounded by Roses and Greg running AWAY and

one of em coming onto Pearl oh goddd

oh my GOD

one of them is super sweet, one of them is super flirty and one of them is super motherly and enthusiastic. OH GOD

‘i know it’s wrong, but im overwhelmed’ hahaha

‘they don’t just look like her, they ARE like her’

yeah. god they’re so adorable. you can totally see why everybody fell in love with Rose!!

and Pearl and Garnet just literally stay camped out in the bathroom ahahaha

‘i am dying i am dyign i am dead rose quartz’ ‘hehehuhuhehe’ great voice acting on that laughter of doom

the resolutions of these mini episodes are very quick

pink pearl is so cute

that was BEAUTIFUL. Pearlpearl is beautiful. the way they bring the puzzle pieces together, the way they stop making excuses for the person who hurt them, the way they find comfort in each other.

another piece of Pink’s past - why she so desperately wanted to reshape herself into a healer, a benevolent secret keeper, a competent and controlled and wanted creature. she’d hurt her best friend in a way she could not fix, did not have the emotional knowledge to fix, was not in the position to fix, and did not have the power to fix (taken, as pink pearl/Volleyball was, from her like a toy she’d broken). She probably mourned the loss of her Pearl desperately. She tried to be controlled, to be discreet, to be competent like the Diamonds wanted. She was given Spinel as a reward, ‘as a new friend’ - and she never treated her unkindly, never physically hurt her, never showed her the emotions she felt inside - and simply left her when she tired of her and realised that they could never be true friends, because she couldn’t even fathom how to make them true friends - as it would have required the space to deny Spinel her purpose (which in those days meant death for a gem). 

And then our Pearl. Pink keeps looking for ways Pearl is different to what she is supposed to be. She keeps looking for how she might be like Pink herself.

Because Pink has gotten everything she wanted, everything she was supposed to want: control of her own colony (and the respect it implies, and the tenuous power that gives her) and another Pearl. She’s on her way to becoming an ‘equal’ to the other Diamonds.  And yet, she’s bored, she got what she wanted but it turns out it sucks. The place she’s sent to destroy is beautiful, and she still doesn’t feel happy. The feeling grows that there is something fundamentally wrong with the Diamond Hierarchy.

She designs the Rose Quartzes, and makes them healers (that MUST be because of pink pearl), she makes them attractive and kind and beautiful and strong. Makes them in the image of what she wants to be. Just normal enough to be able to make connections with other people without being seen as a Diamond. Just amazing enough that people will love her (like the Diamonds once did).

The more she explores the bubble of freedom that she creates with Pearl - freedom from their roles - the more she develops her philosophy counter to the Diamond Hierarchy. The more she believes that Earth can be a beautiful haven away from them to play in and make connections with people and be forced into nothing and never be locked away into lightless rooms. The more she believes it is worth fighting for. And she learned thousands of years ago that other people don’t want her as she is, can’t handle her true feelings or expressions of her emotion - will break in response or punish her for them. So she keeps all her secrets and wills her new self into being.

And she draws people in and she believes it and she believes the Diamonds don’t care for her! Bismuth tells her yeah they’ll def run if Pink Diamond bites it. She tries it and everything goes to hell.

And she protects her friends. And she bubbles the monsters. And she enjoys Earth and its people because she’s always had to move on from the messes she makes. And she loves Garnet and Pearl and then Amethyst and never ever ever puts them into lightless rooms. And then Greg challenges her on what relationships could be - he challenges her to communicate on an equal footing.

That’s all radical. It’s revolutionary. But she still broke countless people’s lives and hearts doing it. Simply because she was that powerful, that ignorant, that selfish, that underdeveloped every step of the way.

And she knew it. And she gave up everything that she had to change. Change into Steven. And that still had awful consequences, as basically all her choices had - but it was by definition, a selfless choice.

the way we learn about Rose is just so masterful. the way the narrative shows us how radical she was, but also how awful - what terrible damage and harm she’s done to everybody. it’s amazing.

[alittlebittersweet]

reading snk #5: chapters 75-84

.........i don’t know who i am anymore.........

WHO'S THAT PET TITAN STANDING BESIDE THE BEAST TITAN?

'so you're finally ready to talk or should i get breakfast after all?' jfc levi, this is not the time to be a smartass

erwin is such a good strategist i swear

HERE WE GO EREN VS REINER ROUND 2

erwin doesn't care if they all die he just wants to see what's in the fucking basement RELATABLE AF

THE THUNDER SPEARS NIIICE

THAT MARCO FLASHBACK MY HEART HURTS ;___;

WAR CHIEF ZEKE

okay the one thing that's bothering me - it looks like zeke already has the coordinate power - he can control the titans... well maybe it's somehow different, anyway they want to ~regain~ the coordinate power so does it mean the first king stole it from them? but why do they want to destroy humanity? is it because of something that happened years ago? i can't even hate reiner and co 100% because they're clearly pawns in the hands of the enemy

they can't even celebrate reiner's death because he was once their friend i'm emo ;___;

and... of course he's not dead yet and bertolt was hiding in a barrel lmao

HE TRANSFORMED... I STG IF HANGE IS DEAD...

(they can all fit on eren's titan that's so cute)

THE COLOSSUS TITAN IS DESTROYING THE DISTRICT (OR WHAT'S LEFT OF IT) AND THE BEAST TITAN IS THROWING STONES AT THEM COULD THIS SITUATION GET ANY WORSE???

OR WAIT... THE ARMOURED TITAN COMES BACK

'and thus i will die in the front line not ever knowing what's in that basement' I'M LEGIT CRYING RN

;_____________________________;

THIS IS SUICIDE HE'S NOT EVEN HIDING IT OH GODDDDDDDDDD

POOR MARLOWE AND THE OTHER RECRUITS

zeke is... enjoying himself (hmm who's his father btw?)

. . .

DECIMATE THIS MOTHERFUCKER LEVI !!!!!!!!!!

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO HE ESCAPED

(THIS FIGHT WAS LIKE NEXT LEVEL THO I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE IT ANIMATED... IN 10 YEARS PROBABLY)

HANGE LIVES!!!! GO MIKASA!!! BYE REINER

ARMIN DON'T YOU FUCKING DIE DON'T YOU DARE YOU HAVE TO SEE THE OCEAN ! ! !

SO ZEKE IS EREN'S BROTHER????????? i'm screaming

'we've been both victims of your father, you've been brainwashed by him' THE FUCK?????

damn levi looks like hell

THIS COWARD LEFT BERTOLT AND RAN AWAY

ARMIN LIIIIIIIIIVES

WAIT REINER IS STILL ALIVE????

GODDD MIKASA'S FACE WHEN SHE SAW ARMIN ;___; I NEVER THOUGHT I WOULD SAY IT BUT... YASSSS EREN CHANGE ARMIN INTO A TITAN SAVE HIM

THIS FOUR LEGGED FUCKER ALWAYS COMES OUT OF NOWHERE I CAN'T BELIEVE REINER GOT RESCUED

ERWIN IS ALSO ALIVE?????? YOU'VE GOT TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME!!!!

(levi always gives people impossible choices, jfc how about THAT)

THIS IS SO TRAGIC I CAN'T STOP CRYING I WOULDN'T WANNA BE IN LEVI'S SHOES RN

MIKASA AND EREN FIGHTING FOR THEIR FRIEND ;______; ERWIN IS LEVI AND HANGE'S FRIEND TOO I'M EMO

;______________;

in the end i'm glad levi chose armin, i've mourned erwin at least 10 times now

bertolt kinda died like marco............

WHOA THAT WAS PROBABLY THE MOST EMOTIONALLY DEVASTATING CHAPTER YET AND THAT'S SAYING SOMETHING