#oh my god I went overboard I am so sorry FGHDJSK

[lavenoon]

(What if too tired for work, but not too tired for fanfic?) XD But seriously, I’m taking advantage of the fact that I can no longer focus on assignments to be able to read the latest chapters! And boooooooy do I have thoughts! Ok, ok, so first of all, man did Moon take the brunt of that reveal huh? Not only realizing what’s been going on, but now questioning his whole relationship with the Robin he thought he knew. I’m sure their complaints were more annoyed at first, but surely Sun may also have exaggerated a liiiiitle how bad the “coworker” was actually perceived when he told Moon about it, based on how we know Sun has also felt a pang of jealousy when y/n did speak fondly of him. But I can definitely see how Moon needed the space, (even if it actually might have made it worse just spiraling in his thoughts). And then also Sun! Because he’s so, so afraid that y/n wouldn’t see him as the sweet guy that they kinda went on a date with and have been building a closer relationship with, (which I mean, fair assumption, we saw how the ruthlessness went in reverse au even if it was due to have it directed AT them, which canon Sun wouldn’t do at this point). These guys are a combined ball of anxiety and fears. And omg, poor Robin. You have mentioned before that they didn’t use to hang out with anyone before and that they generally didn’t get along with most coworkers, so I suspected they were already a very lonely person (and pretending they could handle it fine) before they met the boys, but wow, this really highlights how much that was the case. They’re very concerned about Moon, and while they themself have disappeared before, they probably felt something was off about this time. And then to come back to find out their neighbor who maybe possibly went on a date with them just the day before is obviously avoiding them? Sun and Moon at least had each other to reassure themselves that everything would be fine when their landlord/rival disappeared . Robin had no one. And knowing how sweet Sun was towards them probably only made them think that whatever they did was a grave offense. So their rival could be dead and they wouldn’t know, and their neighbor might hate them now, and now they tried to fix it, but they’re still terrified of finding out what really is going on. And that loneliness that they probably didn’t even notice was there before is coming twice as strong now that they’re used to the company of two very important people to them. Ough, loving it all, can’t wait until reckless y/n learns the truth and does whatever they’re gonna do!

I sat on this the entire workday wanting to answer, you really sent this right before I left! gdhsj

This. has turned MUCH too long I am so sorry. Read more for you GFHDJS

But yea yea yea! If we compare Moon's reaction about being the "annoying coworker" in the first alt reveal drabble and the canon reveal, the difference is drastic.

In one, he has the complainer right there - throwing pillows at him, rather than anything actually hostile. Y/N is frantic, and near panic, but did not go further than any attacks they direct at each other on any other day.

Another example from that one unpublished drabble I have no idea when I'll get to it (context: Dusk picked Robin up):

This is early in the rivalry, but still standard. They fight a bit, but they don't truly hurt each other - in the alt reveal scene he had that immediate reassurance that yes, Robin may snark and throw some punches (or, pillows), but they don't see him as an enemy.

In the canon reveal? He has the immediate comparison of Robin & Dusk vs Y/N & Sun, with the latter being much friendlier and closer (as he thinks). Then he has the thought that he's the coworker, and Y/N isn't there to reassure him of their relationship and dynamic, he only has Sun who's in denial and then freaking out just as much, and he catastrophizes. It's a lot, it's too much, and then he's already buried himself in those worst case thoughts where not even Sun could reach him.

The nights he hides away to think he basically went through all their interactions, trying to interpret them differently, and some (especially earlier) memories might have fit this terrible new pattern he has to consider, but more and more... It doesn't make sense. Things don't add up, and then Sun shares that he was jealous because Y/N wouldn't rest until they heard their coworker is concerned.

So by the time Sun urges him to go back to work to see Robin? He's ready to hope again, and boy does Robin deliver. There's still a lot of hurt, remnants of doubt that he needs to talk to Y/N about, and fear of the unknown future for them all. But when Robin cheers him up, baits him into a chase, and is just so relieved to have him back? That's when things start looking up for him again.

And Sun? "which canon Sun wouldn’t do at this point" well. Maybe not quite - but once Sun leans into the rivalry, Robin is in for a surprise. And not just the "Oh no he's hot" kind! They just have the advantage that they already know all of him by then, unlike reverse Robin meeting the ruthless side first.

He is ruthless. That is him, and he enjoys a good chase! He's also sweet and loves taking care of Y/N, yes, and if he had thought it's an option he would have hidden away all those parts he wouldn't want them to see and just be that for them. Would he have been entirely happy? Probably not, honestly. The secrecy and cutting off parts of himself to fit into that image he projected would have taken their toll on him.

If, post-reveal when things settle down, you'd ask him if he thinks it was good they found out? Immediate "Yes." He gets to show all of himself to Y/N, and they accept him, and enjoy all of him. He gets to cook for them and ask them if they're staying hydrated and also chase them through the city and fluster them on missions.

But right now? He doesn't know what the future holds. There's just fear that they might find out, and while they might not be horrified at what he's capable of per se, it's still one hell of a contrast to the person he tried to be for them. He thinks they'd see it as a downgrade, as opposed to Moon having an easier time since they already knew his agent side.

Moon's fear is that Robin may have never liked him. They disprove that as soon as they get the chance, unknowingly.

Sun's fear is that Y/N may hate Dawn. He doesn't get the reassurance until they do find out, and then some.

Moon took the brunt of the reveal - but Sun has to endure it longer.

Y/N? They thought they were fine on their own, they were doing well enough, they had some fun, they didn't realize that something was missing until they gained it, and then lost it again.

They were sick when they were "missing", or in the first case in the hospital, though Dusk knew about that.

An animatronic does not get the flu.

They don't know if it's something harmless keeping him, like it was something harmless for them - because their situation simply does not apply to Dusk's.

So when both of their support pillars suddenly crumble and cave in, when they're suddenly all alone again? They're terrified.

They're proud, and don't quite dare pester their supervisor for more info - just "You'd tell me if he was dead, right? I work with the guy regularly, I need to know if he'll be back. When he'll be back" and only gets noncommittal answers back that they assume mean he's fine, because they would tell them if Dusk was dead, right? But they can't be sure.

And they might feel like talking to Sun about it, hear any reassurance even if they can't share much, but... His last text came super late, and was kind of stiff, and they haven't seen him for a while now, where before they used to see each other on the porch or balcony pretty regularly?

Is he... Is he avoiding them? And if yes (because man, that would fit what's happening), why? The distance came after they sent the pictures - was there something wrong with those? They took a bunch of him, and didn't ask every time, was he put off by that? But that wouldn't warrant ghosting, right? Was there something else, something they missed? A signal, a cue, did they mess up? They don't even know, and they're already in a bad headspace, so they just spiral.

Keep hoping Dusk comes back, keep hoping they'll see Sun again.

When neither happens, they reach out to the one they can reach at least, their pride finally having lost to their concern and hope and loneliness.

They got the reassurance that Sun doesn't suddenly hate them for some reason, but he's still tense and unhappy, and Dusk is still missing, so it's still just a small relief.

They start feeling better when Dusk comes back to work, and almost close to normal when he falls back into their usual pattern, and Sun greets them on the porch again when they meet. But things are off, still, somewhat, and, well...

Their boys do have a bomb to drop right back.